nico robin and her smile
hiiii ok has anyone else ever thought about the person robin was before joining the straw hats? like who she was when she was at her worst? because i do. a lot. so go along with me here
from her introduction, robin has this very small smile that feels cunning and is seemingly meant to taunt luffy and co. it creates a sense that there's a canyon's depth of difference in power between her and the others.
robin's is a subtle character in her expressions compared to most other major characters in the series. and i think it fits her background of having to work in subterfuge. (???)
she maintains this expression throughout multiple scenes. the same shape of her smile that is so exact that it has to be with intention. this is the face of ms. all sunday. this is the person robin had to be in order to survive.
and yet each one still has it's differences and that's robin being not so perfect at hiding her true feelings (which btw i love that robin will always be exactly who she is). she's stressed or even strained at times. while also feeling perfectly at ease, but still performing a role.
i think for the most part. robin didn't mind what she had to do or who she had to be. because she's pragmatic, but she was definitely bothered by vivi and the strawhats. they're the ones who cause robin to show anything other than that static smile. notably when she is faced with vivi and luffy's determination.
and i've rambled about it once before robin is a kind woman at heart and who has a soft spot for the crew + vivi. their earnestness breaks through her own desire/need to not care for the effect her actions have on the lives of others.
notably the only times robin does seem to genuinely smile is in small sudden outbursts around luffy when something he does makes her laugh.
and throughout the rest of the alabasta arc. robin's clearly uncomfortable with facing the real destruction of alabasta at crocodile and her hands. later revealing that she never planned on helping him obtain the poseidon weapon. she never once smiles, instead dropping everything to focus on getting to the poneglyph.
after that though? she does her miss all sunday smile one last time when she asks luffy to join his crew. it's a famous panel, we all know it, we all love it.
the longer robin was with the straw hats. the more she began to genuinely smile. it's well established that being on the crew brought back joy and laughter into robin's life, that being with them gave her a reason to live again. but it was a slow start until we got to see this robin more often and more freely who is cheered by everyone's bright youth and excitement in being alive in a ways that she never had been allowed.
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do you have a headcanon of when mulder caught feelings for scully? i’m on the same page w you that scully has had it bad since day one, but i can never make up my mind about mulder
yeah i’ve always said that i think he was aware of the connection between them since her abduction, but i think specifically 3.
ascension is very frantic, it’s rooted in so much trauma and desperation. very few moments are about scully, as a person, really. it’s about getting there in time. it’s about rewriting history. it’s about failure, and standing alone in the end.
in 3, he is surrounded in her absence. her badge. her file, marked with her name. her necklace, which he slips around his own neck, carries with him.
dana scully was farrrrr gone from day one, humming against him in the rain and telling her friends how cute he is, but mulder is more single-minded.
he’s so very fond of her, in the beginning. he knocks on her door to invite her on his run, when he knows she’s just supposed to be discrediting him. he lowers himself beneath her every time he has bad news or a vulnerable conversation. he says “dana,” softly, and checks in on how she’s doing. he believes she’ll be head of the bureau someday.
so much of that is just who he is (trusting, passionate, kind), and she’s the only person who has ever valued that, taken him seriously.
but he’s also internalizing who she is, the consistency and the curiosity and the quiet intensity.
that moment in the rain, before she laughs, before she asks where they’re going and follows: he says “you think i’m crazy,” and turns away. it’s the first time in the series (and remains rare) where you can see that there is a weight to it all. he plays into being “spooky mulder,” but part of him is really disappointed to think that this new partner won’t believe him either.
she thinks about what he said, and she meets him on his level. she questions it, she combats it, she adds to it.
when they both burst out laughing, it’s in pure joy and excitement. it’s the moment that spurs the rest of their lives.
that means a lot to him, to be listened to. to be held to a standard, not just dismissed.
but mulder only knows how to conceptualize love in absence, in the search, so when he’s left listening to her scream: he knows. it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen, because it feels like his closest person disappearing, and that’s the experience he’s most familiar with and enmeshed in.
i believe there’s a script note in ascension that mentions that he’s doubting if he had failed his “closest friend.” it’s the loss being so great, so unbearable, that makes it unavoidable.
(thinking of him smiling at diana, telling her, “i’ve done alright without you.”)
i see a lot of people describe msr as a “fell first/fell harder” trope, but i think most things just hit mulder harder. it’s their natures.
but by the time he hangs her cross around his neck, by the time he abandons the truth to sit and hold her hand, he knows.
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WIP Wednesdays
Tagged by: @thefreelanceangel & @lavampira (a week ago (':), plus a handful of people who tagged me weeks ago! Thank you so much for the tags, I really appreciate it!
Tagging: You (: Please, if you feel moved to do so, share a WIP you're excited about and tag me so I can also be excited about it.
I struggle to share things when they are done, let alone still WIP, however! I have been trying to write every day this year so I do have something to share!
A little snippet from a longer piece, trying to nail down Odette and Odile's complicated relationship.
“Blessing?” Odile’s greeting is delivered in a sun-bleached drawl from the direction of Odette’s office. No doubt digging around in her research. The nun felt invisible hackles raise and she drew a breath, exhaling a prayer asking for patience. Always patience.
Heeled footfalls announced Odile's movement and when she rounded the corner Odette started. She will never get use to her own face on another person.
“Aunt Odile, I had no idea you were coming,” She injected as much warmth as she could into her smile. It doesn’t reach her eyes but that’s alright; it is an important survival instinct to watch predators.
Odile’s lids remained half-lidded, shuttered like an abandoned home. Despite their faces being nearly-exact copies Odette has always struggled with reading her Aunt’s expressions. Now is no exception. Fear scraped hot fingernails against the back of her neck and her heart gave a sluggish squeeze.
Odile’s smile is sudden with too many too white teeth on display, momentarily blinding. There is little warmth in it only a smug satisfaction; she has read Odette’s fear and part of her cannot help but relish in it. This is a woman who never tires of her reputation being black as pitch.
They stared at each other for some time in the yawning silence.
Odile spoke first, setting her satisfaction aside in favor of furthering her goals, “I let myself in,” Odette hears: this is still my home. “I came to give you this but when Flower told me you weren’t home…” Odile trailed off, letting her niece’s imagination do the work, and a moment later she offered forth ‘this.’ A thick envelope of cream colored stock sealed with a healthy wad of red wax.
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☽ ・WHAT MAKES A PERSONALITY.
a template ( created by the wonderful Ree ) for analyzing features of a personality beyond listing adjectives. written beneath a readmore because of length, not spoilers!
SELF-CONCEPT
VIEW OF SELF: highly upheld on a pedestal created by her late tribe and the hierarchy of Fell Churches. though clouded by a heavy sense of superiority, there is the slightest chance of self-awareness from her, though it is an introspection that takes time. what is important to her is that she, above anyone else, knows her heart and mind. no one else can claim to relate to all she has lived through and she knows this; though the level of tragedy she connects this with is debatable. likewise, her view of self is duller than her view of others, as she truly does not care for herself at her core. this is not self-deprecation, rather it is the monotonous feeling that comes from knowing that, at the end of the day, she is what her tribe and Sombron have made of her. there is nothing else and nothing more.
VIEW OF OTHERS: hardly memorable. unlike her, time will pass for them and they will die, so their only purpose is to serve until their last breath. will she remember their names? hardly, but the impact they have will outlive their body. as a direct result of her behavioral inconsistencies and traumas, she alienates herself from society and, thus, does not view humanity and other immortal beings in any positive light. they are only useful under a leash. they are only useful if they can be wielded as pawns. if they stray from their fated path, then they must be punished. it is as much a law as it is instinct. either way, none of them will equate to the space necessary in the void of her heart; what she needs is a family, and other people cannot give this to her.
VIEW OF WORLD: unforgiving. selfish. the world is cruel to those who surpass their fate and, thus, she bares her teeth and takes as much from the world as she thinks she deserves; which is everything it has to offer. in her eyes, the world is ever-changing and will not wait for you to mend your wounds, no matter how closely you hold it at heart. you will not survive if you are not the aggressor. her environment taught her that pain is love and such love, one strong enough to destroy what it has created, is punishment, in its own way. to love was to hurt until you knew nothing else; to grieve was to love with all your heart. if you sought love then you had to seek the pain that is obligated with it upon your faults. thus, all relationships of value between her and the world were, and will always be, transactional.
MOTIVATIONS & GOALS: serve as Lord Sombron's greatest follower until he sees her as fit to be the mother of his child. whether it be one or plenty, she hopes to bear them and give fruit to lives of her blood. upon birth, they are hers, as a mother and idol and god. and that, the idea that, one day, someone she brought into the world will revolve that very world around her, is what keeps her focused on the future. but somewhere, along the line, another motivation has formed upon her arrival; protect the Four Hounds and restore what they once were.
WHEY THEY VALUE MOST: family, both in the physical and metaphorical sense. the idea of having and taking from someone who owes you their entire life for giving fruit to theirs.
EMOTIONAL REACTIONS
REACTION TO STRESS: most, if not all, negative emotions end in her lashing out in an attempt to regain the control she once lost. so, when stressed, her composure falters; she becomes jittery, scheming, and distant. she'll refocus all of her energy on picking apart the stressor and, upon recognizing what it is, eliminating it without hesitation. this could mean directly destroying the stressor or completing it, but whichever it is, she does not ignore it. it, also, does not matter what this stress comes from; whether it be a responsibility, environment, or person. the execution, however, of this determination is usually heartless and selfish, as she will go through anything and anyone to calm the nerves of her heart.
REACTION TO FEAR: though fear, too, is a negative emotion, it does not necessarily end in an unwavering sense of hostility. to fear something is to think that it has the weight to actually affect you. and, thus, it is fine to say that fear isn't an emotion she's faced often in her thousand years of life. upon first face of this subject causing her fear, she's incredulous. confused or shocked, rather than frightful. but when the emotion sets in, she becomes quieter. curt. this silence is not submissive, lest it be in the face of Sombron. her following reaction will be to right what has been wronged; control. she will combat this fear with confrontation if the risks prove to be lesser, but she knows her limits and will not provoke the fear if it will bring her harm.
REACTION TO SUCCESS: to revel in her success is not rare. this is, usually, done in the form of taunting the losing party. however, her reaction to success differs between the success of herself and the success of those she deems as hers. for the former, she does not seek praise. it is not the acknowledgment she requires, as that is flawed and not taken at heart's value. if not from Sombron, then she does not want it. however, praise is what she requires when her pawns succeed. for them to win is a win for her, as it reinforces the greedy pride of being able to create something worth loving. otherwise, success, to her, is conditional and can always be revoked. it is not something worth celebrating by the masses. in fact, it could be argued that success makes her hungrier for the possible retaliation that will follow.
REACTION TO FAILURE: depends highly on who she fails regarding the event. in light of disappointing Sombron, her apologies are swift, curt, as there is nothing else to say. her willingness to right, again, what has been wronged is high and she will take no other answer unless she's given the other chance. there is no guilt, as she does not recognize such a feeling, but the feeling aches similarly. if in the case of failing herself, her reaction is duller. again, at her core, she has come to terms with the fate she's been given, so all she is to do is find her way back unto the path paved for her. she'll try again, more determined, but emotional reactions are little to none. she understands herself best and will right herself accordingly, aiming to engrain into her the teachings that made her who she is.
DEVELOPMENT
IDEAL SELF: is constantly changing, to the point where she cannot fully recognize where she, herself, wants to be. what amount of development would be enough? from whom would this development come from? all she knows is that the ideal life she sees fit for herself is that of a mother, as it was the only thing able to fill the void in her heart. key word: was. new events have shone a light on her ideals and hope to shift them. unfortunately, because of her lack of concern for who or what she becomes, as her fate will always be written before her, the exact ideal self is unknown.
AREAS OF GROWTH: as mentioned before, loneliness is still a factor she hopes to heal. being alienated from others, even dragons like herself, because of the behavior she adapted to in hopes of defending her heart will always prove her efforts futile. to grow requires the knowledge to understand exactly what is necessary beforehand. thus, her concept of what can heal her is false and flawed. it's simple and, if she does not recognize her emotions and pick apart the years of manipulation, all will be hopeless.
BARRIERS TO GROWTH: the inability to wear her heart anywhere that is not the steel bars of her ribcages; the continuous conquest of favor for Sombron; the inability to recognize how she has affected the world and vice versa; the inability to be truthful lest she fear bleeding out on the spot; and time wearing away at the familiarity she should have with her own emotions. there is a lot that stands as an obstacle to her development. none of it will disappear quickly, so she must approach it slowly and with patience.
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