#she needs to bc it was hurting her family

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

sad avery head canons

@ariscats requested this in a comment under my sad grayson hcs, and i'm more than happy to do it for my fav girl avery. trigger warning for self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and sexual assault. pls don't read if this might trigger you, and if you ever need help, there are helplines you can contact for free. family and friends are obviously also an option (if you'd rather talk to a stranger, you can always dm me (or whoever you feel comfortable with) <3). sorry if some of this doesn't make sense. i wrote this at 1 am. hope you enjoy<3.

avery used to pull out a guitar (cause i hc she can play the guitar) and sing songs for her mom when she was on her death bed

she now visits her mom's grave and does the same thing. she sings her mom's favorite songs on the verge of tears (if she isn't already crying).

avery used to wear an elastic band around her wrist and would snap it repeatedly until her wrist became sore and red (it didn't always make her stop though) when she was feeling overwhelmed or did smth she deemed wrong.

whenever avery would drive across bridges or anything really high up, she would think about jumping off of it.

she used to get her mom or libby to help her bake cookies that she would bring to school to try to get people to become her friend (it never worked)

she used to eat lunch in the back of the courtyard in a secluded place most of the time bc no one wanted to eat with her (until she met max obviously)

i'm currently rereading tig and i can't help but notice how uncomfortable she becomes when someone touches her so i hc drake or some other random creep sexually assaulted her once (or multiple times) and that's the reason why she seems so uncomfortable with physical touch.

she used to cry in her mom's arms wondering why she wasn't good enough for people to want to be her friend

when her and libby were struggling to get by and couldn't afford food, she would save the food for libby and not eat (she would tell her she ate at the diner she worked at but didn't)

when she realized, at the age of six, that her father was a piece of shit who didn't actually want her, she started trying to find faults in her to explain why this might be (she thought that if she could 'fix' herself, her father might want her)

she sometimes purposely gives herself papercuts when she feels really numb just to make herself feel something

when she would live in her car, she would sometimes continuously bash her head on the steering wheel wishing her life could be different.

when she was younger, to get people to like her, she would give them everything she had. she would do their homework for them, would cover for them when they wanted to cause trouble in the school, etc, but, in the end, it was always temporary

whenever she comes across someone who looks like sheffield grayson she freezes up in fear/shock. a little voice in her head tells her she's in danger and they'll hurt her.

after all of the almost-death experiences she's been through, she developed a panic disorder (this is already sort of confirmed) that she has to treat with pills.

she sometimes takes the haters' comments to heart (the comments about her weight, etc). she would start telling herself that skipping one meal wouldn't hurt. jameson noticed really early on though and stopped her before it became too severe.

she's convinced people would be better off without her and that she only causes pain and destruction everywhere she goes (bc of what happened with toby)

she actually hates getting drunk because it reminds her too much of her father. jameson started to notice that she would get really uncomfortable whenever he got drunk so he started to drink less. when he did drink though, he made sure it wasn't enough to get drunk.

because of everyone comparing her to emily, she's convinced herself that she's just jamie's second option and she'll never measure up (personality wise, looks wise, everything). jamie and her talked about it a lot and she's now less insecure.

she gets terrified when she hears noises at night bc she's convinces someone's there to hurt her

she forgives people so easily bc she desperately wants people to actually like her.

in the books she says she doesn't allow herself to want to want things bc it could potentially distract her/hurt her. i also think she doesn't allow herself to want things bc she doesn't think she deserves to want anything.

when she's in a stressful situation or she's having a panic attack, she'll start scratching her arms really roughly until they start to bleed to get herself to focus on anything other than the stress/panic.

the scratches on her arms became too obvious so she started scratching her sides instead.

she can't watch any tv shows with violence/war bc the loud sounds remind her too much of the shooting.

one of the reasons why she realized her father was a piece of shit was bc, once, he got way too drunk and slapped her. that was sort of like the catalyst for her.

bc she grew up so isolated, she's afraid of emotional and physical intimacy. she's afraid she'll start liking feeling loved/close to someone too much since she believes it'll never last (jamie showed her she was wrong)

i'm an averyjameson stan so don't take this the wrong way but avery was affected by jamie thinking of her as only a game way more than she lets on. even after they got together, she was paranoid that he had ulterior motives.

she blames herself whenever something goes wrong in the foundation or hawthorne house even when she had nothing to do with the problem.

she's extremely paranoid when it comes to locking her bedroom door and stuff like that bc of how often her privacy is invaded.

i said this in another post but, especially before she inherited the money, she would sometimes smoke weed to lessen the stress she felt for a little while.

she hates going to sleep bc her sleep is always invaded by horrendous nightmares. it became so bad she ended up in the hospital (jamie was absolutely terrified and made her promise to talk to him more).

she has this one stuffed animal that her mom gave her not long before she passed that she cries into whenever she feels like her life is going to shit.

before she inherited the money, she was actually near her breaking point. she was seriously considering if staying alive was actually worth it.

before she inherited the money, she used to count on her fingers how many people would miss her when she died to convince herself to stay alive (the number was never more than three). the fact that the number was so low made her feel even shittier and made her spiral.

her grief for her mom is so intense sometimes she can't get out of bed. she doesn't eat, sleep, drink water, etc. alisa had to contact a therapist/psychiatrist to help avery get out of bed.

to end on a brighter note, here's a happy avery head canon:

she used to dance all the time when she was younger. she would pull out her mom's phone, start playing some music, and jump around waving her tiny little arms everywhere whilst singing along. she would pretend she was a popstar. her mom would film her and send the videos to libby. the brothers have seen all of them bc libby showed them.

not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes<3. again, pls contact someone/helpline if you ever need help. speaking from experience, things tend to get better. sending everyone lots of love (and my girl avery).

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #xander hawthorne #nash hawthorne #libby grambs

[dreadfutures]

impressions from the hades ii technical playtest

absolutely chock full of spoilers but also theories

Amazing gameplay, feels just as good as Hades 1 with improvements and creative changes. So many different builds/play styles will be possible. in the dev stream they talked about melee close quarters vs sorcery ranged, but I find myself doing HEAVY spellcasting while also stacking in heavy melee boons on the knives, and mixing and matching.

The boons have a few familiar perks but so many of them are new and creative, even for gods we know from the first game. All of them feel really good.

The SOUND EFFECTS are amazing. The sounds of your weapons change based on the boon equipped to each attack. the sounds of the arena change depending on the god at the end (if any). Nothing and I mean nothing makes the dopamine go off more than the sound of Hephaestus' boon blasts when I do my fan of knives and they all explode. PING PING PING.

I find myself doing "resource runs" and "story runs." they do overlap. It's tough to only have one harvesting item equipped at a time and I spent so much time looking for silver and looking that my eye has started slipping over the lone spirits who gives you psyche, even when Selene leads me to them lol. I do like that they have her guiding light, but it is subtle. I also like the way you can pin certain items when you're in a run so you can remember what you needed for a recipe.

Unfortunately I did so many harvest runs that I actually got all the recipes before I had a chance to USE forget me not on a run so.... woops on that fated list lol.

We are maybe going to romance Moros or Nemesis (probably both are options?) but maybe not both at the same time? since they're siblings technically (technically) (I wouldn't mind though). I love all these children of nyx and want to protect them and smooch them all.

EXCEPT. Mel is a Silver Sister, with Artemis and Selene. Does that mean she's gotta be a virginal girl squad? lol

I love sister Artemis. I love that she throws snacks!!!!! which is even more endearing bc it's fried and a chocolate bar and soda. I wonder if sometimes I hear a note of disapproval from her and I wonder where her plot will go later. Selene it's said may not be able to reach us in Tartarus, but Artemis might.

Speaking of found family.

I fucking adore Odysseus. I love Od. So. Much. Like I loved Achilles but Od is such a good girl dad for Mel, and his pep talks are the best and so sensitive ;_; what a guy I love him.

I think? that Hecate's familiars must be placeholders, since they're just little statues that vibrate when you give them treats. I can't wait to see where they go in the full game.

It's an interesting take on Hestia, that she hates everybody. It makes me wonder if we'll see Hera or not, since I kind of expect that behavior from Hera.

Hephaestus and Demeter and Aphrodite remain my favorite boon givers.

As far as I can tell there is no fishing rod in the playtest but there will be in the full game and I'm excited.

Arachne's self esteem hurts me 😫 I love you little bug!!!! I wonder if we'll find her shop in Olympus or in Tartarus -- and I worry about her. At least Athena is too busy to bother her! I hope! I love Mel's different outfits.

The amount of pets that Mel gets to have is delightful. I love her frog so much.

Hecate is fascinating. She is SUCH a mother, she is SO compassionate to Mel and trying to build her up! She is wry and dry but never cruel or negative. I love her sm. Poor Mel has some low self esteem and understandable doubts and is putting so much pressure on herself. And I really wonder about Hecate's relationship with Persephone and the house of Hades and with nyx. Nemesis says something that makes me wonder if Hecate is innocent. Either way I don't think she'll really be a villain. My heart would break if so. Mel would break.

Mel is so sweet and pure. ;_; and she says "death to chronos" so coldly. When she says "Hence I go" I just hear her as a little baby playing hide and seek with Hecate and it gives me so many feelings.

I want to know about Mel's arm!

I can't wait to see the other regions just from the Crossroads, since there's currently two doors we can't enter.

Also what are we going to DO with the fish?

Very exciting stuff.

#hades 2 spoilers #hades 2

[muninnhuginn]

li tianxi blaming herself for her parents not divorcing and because they don't things escalate past boiling point. blaming herself in the first place for the tensions between them because she has needs and not everyone is willing to try and meet her with them. li tianxi choosing to look away and not say what she sees anymore so this won't repeat. but in the process just ending up enabling tianchen as he spirals down and down.

li tianchen blaming himself because he wanted to fix things for his mum and do what she couldn't but instead he gets her dead. and tianchen just wants to protect tianxi like he failed to protect his mum but he doesn't try to actually *understand* her. so instead his efforts eventually drive her away because there's only so much she's willing to take. she didn't want to be 'protected' like this.

they've both lost their parents and tianxi doesn't want anyone to suffer as she has whilst tianchen wants everyone else to suffer as he has. everyone except tianxi.

wanting to protect someone but not giving them the agency in the decision. in whether they even want to be 'protected' in this way.

#me as always linking it back to the shiguang dynamic with that last sentence huh #link click #link click spoilers #sth again about cycles of abuse. tianxi the eternal victim. tianchen the victim at first but needing the control to never be a victim again #calling it 'hunter' bc that's what he's been told and it's what he clings to bc if not he's just another wild hurt beast #I don't know how much is intentional but the way that the twins' roles are gendered is kinda interesting? #not totally sure if I'm a fan (esp w/ what happened to ltx) but I can see what I think it's getting at #when they had ltc refusing the phone call bc 'no one in the family is mentally ill' + qj's arc having those toxic masculinity vibes #qj taking the role that li fan originally held so even when the twins escape they never actually do. they're held in these roles. #also. it's interesting that ltx was always considered disabled before anything else happened. + then the mutism was the trauma response. #like. her very existence she felt was the cause of tension and she had that knowledge but wanted them to stay as this happy family #that probably never even existed. + like I said not a huge fan of how her chara was treated but she represented hope for a reason #she had that hope within her back then and held onto it until now. it could only die with her. and that's why tianchen lets go. #shiguang daili ren spoilers

[annamaryllis]

I would like to know exactly how luke asking annabeth to run away with him went down.

#annabeth🥺 #it's sad to think about how it'll be so much harder for annabeth to unpack and heal from that relationship bc he's dead #it's hard enough to come to terms with someone you love/held in high esteem hurting you so deeply #but she's also grieving him too so it's even harder to hold him accountable to herself and recognizing the good and the bad #she may struggle to not romanticize the memory of him #sorting through what about their relationship was pure and genuine and what was fueled by other stuff #both of their trauma really played into it in some of the worst ways... #but to even recognize how her trauma played into it she'd have to identify what her trauma even is and how it's affected her life #it's really complex and difficult work #and bc he's gone she'll never get to question him on stuff like what he was thinking at certain points and why #so certain things will never get the best closure #ugh it's all so fucked up #MAYBE SOMETHING WE COULD HAVE EXPLORED IN HOO RICHARD???? BUT NO #and it would have been perfect too bc she'd also be dealing with issues caused by both of her parents triggered by the MoA quest #like her mother's conditional love #and trauma from her mortal family #and her fear of spiders relates to both of these things bc it's a phobia that's passed down from her mom's actions #so she's being punished for something she's not responsible for and also being burdened with a quest simply for being her mother's daughter #and it also represents her mortal family's neglect bc they ignored her needs and all that... #AND THEN the only person she's received actually pure and good unconditional love from was snatched from her for 6 months #and the MoA quest could have been a way to confront some of these fears and wounds...so she's a little stronger by tartarus which #should bring out the best in her and the worst in percy #and then he can work through some stuff too down there #HoO could have been a journey for them where they're undone and then healed #bc at the end of everything they have the medicine to literally everything which is real love (which they have for each other intensely) #the rant I could go on about this...I have so many thoughts about what HoO should have been. maybe one day #annabeth chase #luke castellan #✏️

[8rujaa]

my therapist really saved me….

#tw abuse // tw sa #i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this. #like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her #i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling #literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her #i was so dissociated during our first few sessions #thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out #i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking #i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session #she’s truly incredible. #i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’ #i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong #and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’ #she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be #best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’ #i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply #doing what’s best for me was an option… l #ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress #when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength. #yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D #me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress #im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help. #the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened. #my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’ #LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said #’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’ #she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point #she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help) #im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it #my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.

[silenthillbunni]

.

#1st ​my sister was passive aggressive bc i was boiling pasta when she wanted to make her dinner #so she slammed stuff nd chopped veggies aggressively #nd i felt my heart rate spike nd my body go tense nd i always get clumsy nd drop things nd hurt myself when i get that way #but they think i deserve feeling awful bc of mistakes in the past so i cant ask them to stop #i've been walking around w lots of heavy things nd im barely keeping it together #nd i got so mad bc she wouldnt stop so i started slamming the cabinets nd then left when i was done #then my mom nd other sister got home nd i just wanted to ask my mom smth #when i open my door my other sister goes 'omfg already?' #'immediately when we get home i never get a break. it's almost disgusting' #i just got so.. i realized how pathetic nd childish i am so i just went into my room #but then apparently my sister said to mom that *i* was the only one being passive aggressive #so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner #she didnt know nd she's never cared but i wanted to hurt myself so badly i was struggling not to #but then she started screaming at me for being childish nd passive aggressive nd that i never do anything #she left my room. she still talks to my sisters so i know it's onlg me shes sick of #idk.. today is bad bc i cant talk to her nd i dont have ANYONE else to talk to im all alone #and now i barely even wanna go outside my room bc apparently my family thinks i wnna mess w them just for going to the bathroom lmao #i hate myself so much. im so pathetic. im 25yrs old living at home being a burden #nd im just a pathetic nd childish person. i 'need' to talk nd vent nd rant nd #like if i buy some things i have these need to like do a mini haul or if i get books from the library #i wnna show my mom what books i got #it's so childish. i do feel bad for my mom to have to deal w me nd my annoying personality #why cant i jusy be normal. no wonder why i can never keep friends or my family doesnt wnna talk to me. everything abt me fkn sucks #anyway im just feeling so bad and so alone bc my moms mad at me so now i have no one to talk to

[milimeters-morales]

Miles ripping up and burning her dresses and anything she thinks is “girly” bc of some heinous (transphobic) things kids at school and those kids’ parents said about her, and she tries to play it off as just “getting out of a phase” to her own parents and friends, but half of them start making war strategies and the other half are constantly with her to comfort her because they know her better than that. First one to hear about it besides Rio and Jeff (both of whom almost threatened the other parents with bodily harm) was Peter B, who actually threatened the parents since he could get away with it. And don’t get me started on Gwen, Hobie, and Pavitr. They about to start airing that bitch out for Miles. Think about all the love and support she’d be getting from so many more people.

#transfem miles #miles morales #spiderman #spider man #i think pav and gwen would comfort miles more than get revenge on her behalf bc gwen understands the + #feeling of just needing someone on your side right now and not even wanting to think about the other people who hurt you #as a trans girl herself so she sees it from that perspective #and Pavitr would rather just comfort her first anyway #everyone else will comfort her in a few hours they just need to make those other families move away rq #m&m posts

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

the reason i’m not afraid of aging is because i want to be a hot middle-aged man who has a toxic yaoi relationship with another middle-aged man

#u know i used to be so afraid of aging until i realized that i want to be a dilf. now it’s kinda exciting #i realized recently that i could never picture myself living past my twenties until i pictured myself as a man #but like. i want to be a man and a woman and nothing and everything #but like. i’m cool with how i look now for the most part idk if i would want to transition physically at least not rn #and rn i still dress fem enough that everyone goes straight to she/her #and i like she/her but it hurts rn #bc some of my family has switched to they/them or it/its and it’s just so soothing #but family that knows i don’t like it still use she/her and phrases like ‘daughter’ or whatever even more often on purpose #and it hurts bc i don’t really feel the need to change the way i dress/look but i know everyone assumes she/her #when they see me in a dress or skirt. even w how very not-cis my fashion sense is #but also i fucking hate pants which is a separate thing (prob autism tbh) and even if i wore pants they’d still use she/her #thinking of changing my name to something very masc so i can confuse people enough that they’ll stop defaulting to she/her #and i haven’t told ppl outside my immediate family so idc if they use she/her but i’m fucking pissed when ppl in the family do it #anyways side note when i was 12 my ideal gender (b4 i knew about being non-cis) was a floating consciousness w no body #or a plastic-doll-like creation that’s smooth all over #… i still want to be a floating consciousness actually lmao. it would be great #back then i hated being a girl but i didn’t know there were more options and also i was socially isolated (didn’t leave home for like 2yrs) #and my mother was openly transphobic whenever the topic was brought up so that was my only real experience #but i didn’t really internalize it other than the fact that my mother would be rude if i ever happened to be not-cis and guess what? she is #anyways it’s like 2am and also i’m only awake bc i was captivated by a sugar daddy middle aged gay fic for a show i watched like 5 episodes #for 2 years ago #sorry for rambling in the middle of the night lol #gn y’all

[kaidabakugou]

coffee dates with your mom have you spilling all your dirty secrets without a second thought 😭

#kai.rambles #idk what this phenomena is but it’s apparently common lol #im gonna tmi in the tags like it’s a little face time call bc i’m waiting at the airport for my friend #but i had a little coffee date with my mom yesterday bc we both needed a little break since the family is STILL here and hasn’t left #and we just need this whole thanksgiving thing to be over bc we’re going insane with so many relatives in and out of our homes #so we went to a local coffee shop that just opened and it’s so cute btw and ITS PET FRIENDLY so i saw many doggies there #and can’t wait to take woody when this whole doggy virus going around calms down 😔 #but anyway she saw that i was like fidgeting in my chair and ask wtf was wrong and i told her that i had a pimple on my ass cheek lol #and she was like how did it even get there like you take such good care of your skin?? #and i was like idk it just appeared there 😅 #and she was like - 🤨🤨 after your bday? #and i said like yeahhhh? #at this point i already knew she was onto me lol and we both laughed and she asked what did my bf and i do for my bday #so i told her and now she won’t stop laughing at me #for context - here’s the tmi lol - but my bf used whipped cream on me for my bday and we cuddled for a bit #afterwards with the intention of going to shower but we ended up passing out all sticky 😭 #and i quickly took a full exfoliating shower in the morning when i realized but it was already too late and now i have a pimple on my ass 😭 #and it’s like more towards the inside of the cheek so it fkn hurts everytime i sit down #and i was so paranoid after that instead of putting one boric acid capsule into my pussy i put two just in case #bc i was so scared that i was gonna get and infection of something but it’s been 4 days now #and nothing’s happening so i think i’m good but yeah i told her and now she laughs everytime she sees me or remembers it 😭 #i don’t mind bc it’s her and i trust my mom and tell her everything but i never get into detail about my sex life #so the fact that THISSS is the one thing about it that i tell her it’s hilarious #so yeah and now whoever reads this monstrosity of tags knows too #and if you did read this then come here bc i’m giving you BIG WET KISSES and taking you out on a little picnic date 💓💓 #and we can wear matching outfits and feed eachother desserts🥺

[majimassqueaktoy]

I've been watching kenzan again and Kiryu's affection for Haruka has me so fucked up... he's really destined to be her dad throughout all of time and space 🥺

#like in this timeline he seemingly has no ties to her other than the fact she's asked him to kill the man #who murdered her family #(and that man has been using *shock horror* His Name- well kinda his dead name... his old name) #she sold herself to be trained as a courtesan and he could have left it at that- random little girl who accosted him and asked him to be #her assassin #and yet!! He keeps going back to visit and is clearly very perturbed and worried about her working in that place #when she accuses him of killing her family he could be angry or defiant #but instead he just looks so hurt and taken aback.... #like he wants her trust and im not sure he even realizes he accidentally embraced the papa role #bc its just his natural inclination #you get him near haruka and hes suddenly like Does Everyone Else Feel The Need To Protect and Cherish This Lil Girl?? #and i 😭 #best relationship in the series. Fullstop. hands down

[pixelated-jellifishi]

hhhh why are all my family members turning weird as it gets closer to my birthday?? POR QUÉ??? LET ME LIVEE LET ME LIVEEE T-T

#i dont usual try to overshare on the internet but i wanna yell rn #my husband asked 'are you living in a modern telenovela' #basically: fav aunty revealed to be a republican & grandma is falling harder for the dubai prince scam #my aunty's the kind that doesnt listen to any other opinion than hers bc she listens to 'real news and not the lying democrats' #i trusted her because she was the only one in my family who respected my identity and attempted to call me by my prefered name #apparently the 'prince' is suppose to come over any day now and they'll go to dinner or smth before he takes her to get married #she keeps trying to hide that she's falling for it ever since we found out and gets mad when we even hint that we think she's believing him #she swears that she isnt that she knows he's fake and is only talking to him to get more info out of him #she has her bags half packed and gave away a lot of her furnature THAT MY MOM BOUGHT FOR HER #i keep telling them we really need to get someone to watch her or send her to an old person's home #she refuses to admit to herself shes hurt her family and doesnt want to listen to the people who still care about her for some reason #ok thanks if you read this im gonna go bury myself in f/o stuff to try and distract myself #cw vent #vent #vent post #vent cw #mother mention

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

A head cannon if Grayson died and how everyone would react.

people's reaction to grayson's death head canons

of course<3. i won't format it the same was as my other hcs posts though cause i feel like it wouldn't make as much sense. hope you like them <3.

avery: avery would definitely try to act tough around everyone else. she'd try to be there for the three brothers and would suppress her feelings. she would definitely visit his grave every single day to talk to him/visit him. she thinks the afterlife would be boring so she makes sure to make time for him every day. things around the house would remind her of him (like almost everything). she would see a blanket or smth and think 'hey, this is the blanket that we used that one night when we watched pride and prejudice'. she would try her best not to cry bc she knows grayson would tell her he wasn't worth her tears, but she would not be able to stop her tears when they came.

xander: xander would deal with his death by spending every day and night in his lab trying to distract himself. whenever he'd see something he knew grayson would like when he'd be out shopping, he'd buy it even though he knew gray would never receive it. he would pretend he's fine and would crack his usual jokes but no one found them funny bc every one was hurting. at the same time, he'd try to cheer every one up (including himself) by remembering the good times and funny things grayson did. he would make gadgets and stuff and dedicate them to grayson. at the end of the day, he would lie in bed and talk to him. also, instead of leaving flowers at his grave, he'd leave small inventions or little letters.

jameson: he would drown himself in alcohol. enough to land himself in the hopsital multiple times on the verge of death. nash and xander would come in screaming at him telling him they couldn't lose another brother. jamie would also visit his grave everyday to talk to him about his worries or just to ask him how he's doing in the afterlife (knowing he obviously wouldn't get a response). he'd gradually start doing less risky things knowing grayson wouldn't approve and knowing his brothers wouldn't be able to handle it if he died too (avery too obviously). he'd also be the type of person who just wouldn't be able to get out of bed. he'd just lay there and rot wondering why gray had to die (he thinks if anyone should've died, it should've been himself)

nash: he would try to act tough around everyone else thinking it was his responsibility to keep the family going. at the same time, he'd also be the one to handle his grief the most healthily. he'd reassure everyone that feeling sad and mad was a normal response to grief, and that, burying your feelings would only make things worse. he brings flowers to grayson's grave at least once a week. he'd be the type of person who would not be able to just sit still and process his grief though. he'd have to get up and go work/save some 'lost souls' to feel better. he'd have to reassure himself that, wherever gray was, he was fine and he'd see him again someday.

libby (including her bc she's my baby): libby would be the one actually holding everyone together. she'd be everyone's therapist whilst still grieving herself. she'd head to everyone's room every day and ask them how they were doing/if they needed anything. she would also be baking non-stop. she would bake and bake until they didn't have the ingredients she needed to bake anymore. she would leave some of the cupcakes at gray's grave. she'd constantly remember the heartfelt conversations they'd had and they laughs they shared.

this post fucking made me cry. kill me pls.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #xander hawthorne #nash hawthorne #libby grambs

[belladonnafleur]

I hate people with dreams because I wish I could give up mine !!

#this isnt' meant to be a deep post im just screaming into the void #im back in the city and there is just this deep sense of dread and I wish I could call my friends and talk abt it but everyone who would #understand is too busy #I have one fren who I think mite but shes busy #I have one midterm this week and im still scared of my prof even tho ik she means well and I rightfully pissed her off last last week #I want to leave the committee I work for completely #I want to leave this school completely!! #aaaaaaaaaaa #I want to go grad school #I also just look online and I wish I went to a diff school than this one #bc my family does NOT have the money for this school if Id just waited and gone somewhere else I would not be in this much DEBT #ik i was in a tough situation a few yrs ago and HAD to just pick a school + get out #but still #I think just. if my life events hadn't been so shit and bad #if I hadn't been in such a Bad place during and after the pandemic id be at a diff school #one that didn't make me feel so BAD and one that didn't put me in so much debt #some of why im pissed off and anxious is lit my fault #I burned some bridges and hurt ppl and pissed them off!! #but yn when u make a mistake and everyone around u will def define u by it #bc me rn #I just need to leave and not come back #or if I do not come back for a long time #I wish I could pack my shit and do the rest of the sem online #the only thing I'd miss is choir bc I love it #all of my friends (most of) are in choirrrr #its the way choir is the only thing that makes me feel good I hATE everything else

[nullians]

It’s almost 4am and I’ve just finished watching Everything Everywhere All At Once and umm. I don’t think it’s for me. Like, good for all of you people out there who still want to connect with your parents and share the burdens but personally? I’m fleeing this shithole. It sucks that my parents will never see me simply as I am and will always warp me and tint what they see me as with their own dreams and dreads, and yeah I do wish it could be different but it really cannot. Be. Different.

#d0 stuff #personal #negative #like #good for you #but personally I think need a story where the child just fucks off #insted of deciding to linger #it makes me want to scream bc it seems as if nobody wants to acknowledge the valid choice of ditching your stupid family #arghhhhh #the movie hurts only in the way that maybe I wish I still had the hope left but I don’t #sorry #my mother is not someone who would put me before everything #she doesn’t even put me before her pride so lol #idk… maybe I’m just sad and bitter that I don’t get to live the life where we do get along and love each other #bc I don’t love them anymore #obligation and responsibility - yes #but nothing more #it is. one of the loneliest feelings out there #sorry for being a downer #it just really hits me that yeah #I don’t have that #I don’t get to have a place to come back and bleed out at #nobody would let me have it #when someone said eeaao is about still wanting to come back and knowing that you have a place with your mother #nope. can’t relate #ok enough moping

[hiraya-rawr]

you ever just... gave your dinner money away to a beggar/scammer... what to do oh what to do

(｡ ́︿ ̀｡)

#she was a beggar selling bracelets #she wasn't satisfied with the small bill i gave #and kept pointing to the larger bills #so i just.. gave them #and i got a bracelet #and she rushed away #i knew what was happening but im still idk #a little hurt #it's fine bc i know others need it more than me but still #i need it too #kind of placed me in a sad mood? #i wish poverty was fake #hira rant #so that no one has to rush away or demand for money #hope she feeds her family a good meal // genuinely

[blueclearcloud]

I just am really not okay right now. My baby (Suletta Mercury) is sad and broken so i have lost all hope and happiness.

#mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury #2 WEEEEEEKS! #Y the fuck do we need a recap WE ALL WERE THERE #It's probably due to production hiccups or whatever but out of context it just feels weird at 17 to have one #Maybe at 30 #I want to see Miorine sobbing #Hurting rolling on the floor in misery #And or staring at nothing bc she hurt such a pure soul and took family from her #Does this sound cruel and mean? Yes yes it is and idc #If i have to see my baby girl in pain i need everyone who caused it to suffer greatly #Yes i know they're gonna make up somehow and it'll probably turn out great #But fuuuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkk thats gonna be such a long ass time from now #I need satisfaction #GIVE ME MIORINE GOING THROUGH IT WITH DEPRESSION #Genuinely never want to see Suletta sad ever again #Y m i a dumbass watching this while airing #Y is this world so cruel to my baby #The only reason im not cursing Prosperas name is bc shes obviously gonna die at the end probs gruesomely #So im just here to enjoy the ride bc i enjoy every second of her on screen even if i hate the consequences #One of the perfect villains your honor #Gundam spoilers #g witch spoilers #Again i m not ok