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[she-pilgrimist]

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[she-pilgrimist]

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[she-pilgrimist]

That's my problem

The one's that left, make it seem so sudden with their tiny suitcases, never taking everything with them. Echoes wander like a swift breeze after the rain

Teach me how to let you go in your absence, remind me to forget memories that feed off pain. I remember you packing up, didn't seem like much then, pieces of my sanity left with you.

I've been trying to close doors that act like bullet holes in my chest where the pain keeps leaking out.

Detail the emptiness, sudden rage, my inability to let anyone in. Tell them love crippled me when you chose them over me, switching lanes I lost track of who we were

I carry the aftermath and try to hide it from the one's I want to keep. Changed the lockes but the hinges fell off that's why they all come and go.

//she-pilgrimist

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[she-pilgrimist]

Wednesday the 18th

Woke up thinking it was a Tuesday. I haven't been myself all my life, doing all that is required of me in my incompleteness. I wear a different mask every morning

I texted you I miss you and you didn't respond. I'm always learning new ways to love you in all your storms I'm beside you.

I know the entanglements that reside inside your head. And how the love you have for me has ways of enraging you. I need you to love till I'm myself again

#Wednesday poem #7day poem challenge #she pilgrimist #Love poems #tumblr #tumblr poets

[she-pilgrimist]

Washington DC

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[she-pilgrimist]

Things you can't take back//the time you spent your days wondering about her while trying to forget my face//Things you won't forget//the warm taste of my love//lazy lovemaking//Things you always have// the palm of my hands//my heart//my arms around you

#she-pilgrimist #poetry

[she-pilgrimist]

missing piece

sometimes you meet girls like me. girls that sparkle without glitter, whose smile can catching you falling on brown dust. girls that laugh like they’ve never broken a rib before or stolen a heart and couldn’t keep it. I know you’re trying to figure out ways to get me closer to you, I can tell you now I’m not her. I won’t rescue you from yourself, I won’t mend your shattered spirit or cuddle you when it’s all done. I’m distant not cold, I could love you but you wouldn’t know how to handle my fragile wings. 

I’ll kiss you as I whisper goodbye, I’ll run my hands through you on my way out. I’m not the missing piece, I was your place of rest for a night.

#love poems #she-pilgrimist #african writers #missing piece #poetry community

[she-pilgrimist]

Faded Christmas Lights

12:08 am all nights and no sign of Christmas. My feelings remain inherently the same, synical. I'm kinda hoping for it all to go away but I still want to live in the moment, it's a good day, a terrible year but a good life. Roasted meat and all the sugar still doesn't bring the sweetness. Anger and resentment still linger, for a few hours we forget, it's all hugs and fake smiles. Charades keep us going, Christmas is about the love we have for family. The ones that got away remain distant, hiding their faces, how perfectly they hide their love. All memories pain differently, there are things I cannot forget. Some roads lead to a different life. I'll keep the lights on tonight

#starlitpoems #she-pilgrimist #Poet #Christmas poem

[she-pilgrimist]

Sidewalk Cracks

I don't tell the stories no more. I need not the attention that comes with sympathy, my pain is my own.

I leave the empty space and the pages blank. I no longer let the ink bleed to the brim. I shed no tears nor do I flinch at the mention of your name.

The hole in my chest is made of quicksand, I feel like I am drowning in my own skin. Now I boast of my fragility, that gave me flexibility to grow amongst the cracks.

#writerscreedchallenge #Sidewalk cracks #she-pilgrimist

[she-pilgrimist]

Thought projection

I moved to another city

Faster and more forthcoming with ways in which I could destroy myself.

There are things like the men in green uniforms, the brown overalls and beautiful gardens. They remind me of our past, how you were all I knew.

I hate how I think of you everyday, you're alive to me. There's a place in my mind where you are eternal, still and fearful.

The sound of your voice has faded in grey but I always remember the lessons. "practice makes perfect" here I am still breaking my bones for perfection.

It's funny how I'll never bump into you , my thoughts are oxygen to you.

#poetry #she-pilgrimist #writerscreed

[she-pilgrimist]

Something new

Your lips call out to me from the far away distance between us. I've thought of jumping at you about a 100 times but I hold back, hands ache to run wild on your face. Restraint, a word I thought I conquered. I love the warmth in your laugh, makes me want to curl up, lay by your side soaking in all your goodness. When I discovered I like you, I knew I had to draw away because I don't do well with attachments. I more than like you but I'm still uncertain if I'm knocking at the right door.

#something new #tumblr poet #poetry #spilled thoughts #she-pilgrimist

[she-pilgrimist]

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[she-pilgrimist]

double rainbow

We carried tragedy in our bones for so long our cracks bled like art. Sorrow a mouthful of oak at the end of a bottomless glass. Each pain packaged in velvet texture, destroying ourselves felt like learning how to breathe under water. My silence carries its own weight, fills the room until there is no space for words. I'm sorry. I crush all my joys by holding on too tightly. I'm finally learning how to breathe under water, how to smile with my teeth clenched to stone. The light does not reach my eyes. I know why parts of her/of me remain unexplored. The light from my eyes does not reflect fluorescent beams dancing high in the sky painting cresent glitter. I swallow gallons of hope knowing another storm has passed.

#she-pilgrimist #writerscreedchallenge #double rainbow

[she-pilgrimist]

Cornrows

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[she-pilgrimist]

12:26 am

In the dark. Thick curtains keep the luminous night light out. Here my thoughts roam the streets that know loss and broken glass.

I've learnt to find my way through the overcast, learnt to wear a layer of bravery for the shadows that lurk for wasted opportunity.

A part of me will always be on the run. A desperate man by night and a provider by day, feels like I'm running in circles.

In the dark. Where the night air smells of sweat and sin, I am redeemed. Of aching memory for now all my anxiety seems silenced.

I'd like to forget the pedastill I used to put you on. How I sometimes would forget myself placing you first. Now I have to forgive myself for seeing a tainted collage, the pieces will never fit.

The curtain has been drawn.

#she-pilgrimist #Black poet #Tumblr poet #Poetry #tumblr poetry #African writer

[she-pilgrimist]

Washington DC

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