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#she really said pained heart eyes this entire episode huh
2nd-mushroom-circle · 4 months
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lines that made me cry in my 3rd relisten to the chaos protocol ep 32 (MAJOR SPOILERS):
- “brother heed me, as you ought.” something about the way connie says brother this time… i will never be ok about sing and seir
- i mean i could say the entire rest of the opening monologue. but the little hesitance on “lover, hold me”? OW.
- THE WAY VAL’S VOICE SOUNDS ON THEIR FIRST LINE. illegal.
- similarly, the sobbing after “it is lost. forever.” always catches me off guard and RIGHT IN THE HEART
- the way connie just moves on to lumiéra after val says “something snaps”. cause there’s nothing more to say. nothing that can fix it.
- “a door that had been so carefully pried open slamming shut, and… he doesn’t feel.”
- “and he just… looks at where he should have been a shield.” have i ever mentioned that cai is a masterful storyteller? cause cai is a masterful storyteller and god. i’ll never stop feeling things about xainan esch
- this whole scene with xainan crumbling into dust destroys me.
- “you have always been half dead, xainan esch”
- connie calling oblivion the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen as xainan is drifting away from his own life sure is something, huh.
- “i think im just exhausted with being a coward” no cause i have so many feelings about lumiéra waiting, waiting, always a little too hesitant and afraid to tell sing how she really felt, even though sing felt the same, because it’s too scary because it’s too complicated because lumiéra is literally just fucking HUMAN and it takes so much to make that step - only for her to finally do it and it’s just. a moment. too. late.
- the moment when we move from lumiéra’s flashback to the present. the imagery of happy, triumphant, hopeful lumi giving way to lumi crouched over sing’s body, tear tracks staining her face.
- and the imagery of seir holding up lumiéra with his sister. fuck me i guess.
- THE FUCKING PERSPECTIVE SHIFT
- ok being fully fr seir’s monologue here is when i actually started crying in earnest this time. what the fuck val. not one line. all of them
- “the knife that is xainan” always hits me a little bit
- “whelming it’s pitiable vessel” is just such a good phrase. didn’t make me cry but i love it
- the music cue when artemis appears did make me cry though
- “eyes that immediately fall upon sing’s body” if i think too hard about artemis’s relationship with sing (artemis singing the twins to sleep, artemis signing her transfer request because artemis can see right through her, artemis giving them all the warning she can, artemis knowing when they die and appearing right away but unsurprised, with grief that has always been there, artemis making a choice) i will break. and start making some not-yet-canon assumptions about artemis’s own emotional state. so we are not thinking about that!
- “a lance in her chest” “bleeding.” ow ow ow the multiple possible readings of this line. connie and sea kicking off their insane narration chemistry with a lance to my chest. ow
- “those warm, gentle hands, that do not touch, that are so careful with their love” ok so when i said we weren’t feeling things about artemis? i lied
- “and when her hands pass through your flaming horns, snuffing them out like a candle at the end of its wick, it is not violent. it is not to put a cap on your grief, not to quiet you, not to for you into a box or a body that cannot contain you -“ “it is a mercy.” “it is the sweet mercy of rest when you have no tears left to cry.” the actual reason i’m relistening to this episode is to memorize all the words. so i can hold them like precious things in a box inside me. btw
- and artemis sings you and your sister to rest one final time.
ok. *wipes away tears.* anyways.
- artemis wiping a tear from lumiéra’s eye and calling her the bravest girl in the room .
- we interrupt your regularly scheduled tears to bring you: i’m gonna pull an øka* and punch fate in the fucking face. “this pain has a design”. yeah it’s called fate’s a BITCH and a BAD PARENT. and you can quote me on this
*i have not yet watched the second stranger only seen the clip of øka punching fate. so many times. i replayed that clip quite a bit after this episode.
- “and you cannot hold on to your life much longer. you are a dead man walking and you can go no farther than this.” ok back to crying! this is the sequence i was originally most abnormal about. and you know what? it still hits. so much. xainan my beloved
- sea and connie narrative trading my beloved.
- “do you want to live?” “i don’t know.” “then why don’t you come with me, and you can tell me your answer later.” god what a line. what a perfect response. there are no words that can fix this, but maybe with time and love and care someday you will want to live again. why don’t you come with me.
- “and she carries you home.”
- i don’t think i fully internalized the imagery of sing’s sword being driven into the earth by the roots of the world tree and the roots growing up around it before, but this time i imagined wildsailors hundreds of years from now coming upon this site and approaching it with reverence and love, knowing that it was here that something bigger than their world changed forever, holding sing’s eulogy in the very heartwood of the wildsea—yeah.
- “i love my dad, ok?” thanks abasi already sobbing.
- “it is effortless, the care that they hold for you. it is a reality unto itself.” just. cause. this is what i was hoping the whole time in the lead up to this episode. i know it would be awful and crushing and it would break them, and i was so worried that they would have to just. find a way to push on somehow. make plot happen anyways. but this, nova being cared for and held and protected in their grief? someone carrying them home when they can’t do it themselves anymore? this was just what they needed. and what i needed. i cannot wait for arc 2.
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rickybowxn · 4 years
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nini: i’m done with boys
*gina and ricky interact*
nini: i’m not done with 1 (one) boy
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sortasirius · 3 years
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“Unity” and the Broken Boys
BOY Y’ALL BETTER SIT DOWN BECAUSE THIS IS AS LONG AS CAN BE AND I TOOK OFF WORK TOMORROW SO I’VE GOT TIME
This is....one of the best episodes in the show.  Yeah, in all 325 of them, this is hands down one of the best.
First of all, stan Amara for clear skin.
That silent treatment babey, right out the gate with the Angst.  Tbh Dean deserves it.
“Like I said, killing Amara, Jack dying...that’s the only way.”
“The only way.  Our one shot.  Our Last chance.  You ever get tired of saying stuff like that?”
“We don’t have to like it, alright?  But you and me, we gotta get it done.”
Amara is such a welcome energy in this whole episode.  She’s warm and understanding, whip-smart and probably more powerful than Chuck.  I love her.
Sam is a wonderful, understanding, loving dad.  I love him eternally.  He loves Jack so much, he’s trying so desperately to do what’s right for Jack but also what’s right for the world.  Jack made this choice, but he can’t live with it.  How do you support your child when their life is at stake?
“Come on man.  Blindly following orders, lying to Amara, sending her to her death. Does any of this feel right to you??”
“It doesn’t matter how we feel!  You know what?  Stay.  Stay.  Someone has to be the grown up here.”
“Yeah well someone has to keep fighting for Jack!”
“He knows what he signed up for!”
“Last I checked, we don’t give up on family.”
“Jack’s not family.”
Y’all should have heard the noise I made.  What a fucking line.
“I know how you feel about the kid, I care for him too, I do, but he’s not like you.  He’s not like Cas.  He’s just not.”
“I’m- I’m ready.”
You can see the regret, the heartbreak in Dean’s eyes.  You can see how he wants to take those words back the moment he said them, and for Jack to hear them?  It’s unthinkable.
Sam and Cas I’m just so fucking emo dude.
“Sam, you stayed behind to find another way huh?  I woulda done the same.”
AMARA
First of all, LOVE this structure.
Amara and Chuck have such a fascinating dynamic.  Rob and Emily do a great job (as they have all along) by clearly being siblings but...heightened.  You can just tell they both exude power, and the other is the only one they consider an equal.
“You and Dean had that whole weird...thing.”
“That wasn’t you writing?”
“Ugh, not that part.  Gross.”
What I took away from this is what I’ve suspected all along.  They HAVE free will, just not total free will.  Dean and Amara’s connection wasn’t Chuck, there are parts of the story he didn’t write.  Obviously, this comes into play later. 
I also have a hunch that Chuck doesn’t write romance.  I also think that in particular will come into play.
“Balance.  Something we’ve never tried before.  Creation and destruction, light and dark, brother and sister united again, but on behalf of one world, this world.  True balance.  The way it was always meant to be.  But you can’t.  You only care about your pleasure, your story.  Well, I guess that makes you the villain.”
“Villains get all the best lines.”
We see again and again this season, Chuck is irredeemable.  He doesn’t care about the angels, he doesn’t care about the world, he doesn’t care about anything.  He is a petulant toddler who has broken his toys. And when he realizes he’s trapped, he gets angry, he shouts and screams, completely at odds with Amara’s peace.
“You can’t hold me here forever.”
“I can hold you long enough.”
DEAN
Pain is the name of the game in this section homies.  Because not only are we dealing with Dean’s pain, we’re also dealing with Jack’s.  Jack says he understands why Cas and Sam mean more to Dean, but Dean clearly doesn’t, he, once again, wants to say more, but is stopped, still stopped by his fear: his fear of not beating Chuck.
Alright guys, gals, and non-binary pals.  Let’s talk about Adam and Seraphina.
Adam.  The first man.  And Seraphina.  The angel.
“My old lady.  She’s the only one who could put up with me all these years.”
Yeah okay.  Volume at 100 I get it lmao.
But also: Adam wants God dead not because he and Eve were kicked out of the Garden, but because he went after their sons.  The theme of protecting the children strikes again.
“Killing God is your plan?”
“Yeah, Billie’s been giving us a hand but Sera and me, this is our baby.”
This juxtaposed directly with Dean’s own pain at what he has to do to kill Chuck, to gain his free will: the cost of his child.
Adam’s rib.
And who else might get his ribs hurt, only to be likely healed by an angel?
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It’s fine, that’s fine.  I’m fine with that.
“Jack, I don’t know how to explain it but, when I found out about Chuck, it’s like I wasn’t alive.  Not really.  You know like my whole life I’ve never been free, but like really free.  But now?  Now me and Sam, we got a shot at living a life, without all this crap on our backs.  And that’s, that’s because of you.  So, I want to say, I need to say...thank you, Jack.  Thank you.”
I’m gonna have to do a separate post about just Dean in this episode, because there is so fucking much to talk about, but there are a couple of things that I think are important:  Dean realizes how wrong he was, to say what he said.  He knows that it’s not true, this is the way he’s always coped with loss, by pushing the person to be lost away, but for Jack to hear it?  He can’t stand for that.
And:
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Dean has finally pushed through the barrier.  He won’t be quiet in the face of his doubts anymore.  This is a breakthrough for him, and, of course, there are more to come.
SAM
Sam and Cas, my chaos duo.
The box, the inscription, the door.
Death’s library, filled with dead reapers.
And there it is.  The Empty.
It tells Sam the plan, the plan for Billie to take God’s place.  For everything to go back to the way it’s “supposed to be.”
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This has always been the game, since season 13.  This is the longest of long games.
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Sam fuckin Winchester, lying his way out of a confrontation with the Empty like the legend that he is.
He comes back with a new purpose: to stop Billie’s plan, and here’s where we get to the heart of the episode and maybe the heart of the season.
“You hear that?  Dean, brought to the edge of doubt.  His sense of duty, his rage winning out in the end.  And poor Sam, always gotta know everything.  Can’t leave well enough alone.  This is my ending, my real ending.”
The gun comes out, pointed at Sam.
Hmm...what did I say during 15x05?  Oh yeah, this.
And:
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Dean would never survive killing Sam, but he’s willing to do anything, anything to earn his freedom.  His ending, where one brother kills the other and then kill himself.
Why, you might ask, did Sam not mention that the angels would be sent back to Heaven, why does he not mention Cas?  I’ll tell you why, or rather, Becky will.
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Plus, Dean looks back at Cas IMMEDIATELY when Sam says that, when he mentions Eileen, and THAT’S the first time he hesitates.  He can’t lose Cas.  But at the same time, he’s willing to do anything to have his freedom.
“Sam we don’t have a choice, Jack’s about to blow!”
“We always have a choice!”
You know me, just sitting here thinking about choice, the ability to choose, and how that translates to their free will.
And Sam...I don’t think there will ever be characters I love as much as these.
“I don’t care if Billie gets what she wants!  I don’t man, I’d trade it all, I’d trade em all for Chuck.  In a heartbeat!”
“What about me?”
“You’d trade me?”
“Chuck has to die.  He has to!  Otherwise he’ll keep us tap dancing forever, and I can’t live like that man, I can’t live like that, I won’t!”
“I know you feel like that right now, okay? I know you do, but you gotta trust me.  My entire life, you’ve protected me.  From Dad, from Lucifer, from everything.  I didn’t always like it, you know?  But it’s the one thing in the whole world that I could always count on.  It’s the only thing I’ve ever known that was true.  So please, put the gun away.  Just put it away.  We’ll figure it out, Dean, we’ll find another way, you and me.  We always do.”
Okay I feel like this is going to be one of those scenes that I cry watching for years to come.  Because fuck.  After fifteen years they finally admit that not only did Dean protect Sam from Lucifer, but he protected him from John.  John.  On a par with Lucifer.
Dean and Sam have, for so many years, sacrificed themselves for the other.  Dean’s demon deal, Sam and the trials, every season they have fought to see who can die the quickest for the other.  But this?  This is them fighting to stop the violence, to stop from killing the big bad.  This is them growing, in our eyes, in real time.  Sam has always been able to get through to Dean when no one else had a prayer, but for Dean to listen, for Dean to take his words to heart, to stop the hunt for Sam, for their family, that’s how you know they do have free will.
(Btw Chuck’s eye effect when he dusted Amara was sick as fuck but I’m emo for my boys so.)
Chuck knows it’s a loss, he knows that his story has, once again, been thwarted by the boys making their own choices.  And he’s pissed, but in his anger, we get a bomb dropped on us.
“Spare me your contempt Castiel, the self-hating angel of Thursday.  You know what every other version of you did after “gripping him tight and raising him from perdition”?  They did what they were told.  But not you.  Not the one off the line with a crack in his chassis.”
Are you fucking kidding me?
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Also, just worth bringing up this one as well:
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Every Castiel pulled Dean out of Hell.  Every one told him the same thing.  And yet, immediately, with this Cas and this Dean, something was different.  Because what has everyone seen about Cas, from the moment he met Dean?
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And there’s our endgame people.  Laid out on the line.
But we ain’t done yet, fam.
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We’ve talked about the handprint, but you know:
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So there you have it, our prep into the “monumental” 15x18.  I have spec on that, of course, but I think a novel is long enough for this.
What to take away: Dean’s rage was always Chuck’s plan, they do have free will, their love for each other, for their family, is what will stop Chuck’s control, Death is about to come back with a vengeance, Cas’ deal is at play, and, most importantly, Castiel and Dean Winchester are a blind spot for Chuck, something he has never, not once, controlled.
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utilitycaster · 3 years
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Wizard Breakdown Tracker #3, episode 133
Greetings and salutations to the exercise I have set upon myself, which is to say deciding the relative mental stability of Wizard NPCs who have been subjected to the Mighty Nein. My intent is to do this at least until Trent Ikithon has fucked off this mortal coil and/or been thoroughly deposed and humiliated.
As a reminder Caleb Widogast is a member of the Mighty Nein and a PC and therefore excluded from these calculations. Wizards who haven’t been seen or heard from lately and about whom I don’t have anything funny to say about will not get a full blurb, but as they re-enter the main narrative so will they re-enter the list. Currently, this is the Essek Thelyss Show ft. Trent and the Volstruckers with guest appearances by Yussa and Allura.
Currently sidelined: Oremid Hass, Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk (I am going to reuse this stupid joke name for him until it doesn’t make me laugh at my own joke anymore, which will probably be never), Pumat Sol (who I hope is having a great day), Ludinus Da’leth (who I hope is not but in true laissez-faire rat bastard form, probably is).
Vess D wasn’t there/morning time in Eiselcross or at her job or anywhere/they snuck in and took her life/and we noticed that her spellbook’s gone and that she’s covered in red eyes.
Trent Ikithon: Okay with the caveat that it’s been a very long time since I saw the entire movie and our only update is Artagan taking a moment from his busy schedule of traveling the globe in the direction of the sun such that he is always technically day-drinking to tell Jester that Trent’s biding his time, I’m getting real Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Frollo vibes. Except instead of Catholicism and lust, it’s nationalism and an unquenchable thirst for power and control, and also he does not feel guilty in the slightest. He’s not at Hellfire levels yet but he will get there and I am slightly disappointed that due to the constraints of a D&D game we do not get an even more fucked up version of the song Hellfire.
Conclusion: 6/10. Slowly stepping it up. Also here’s the great thing: while we know Caleb is going to come after him next, he doesn’t, and the Nein didn’t tell any world governments about the threat of the city unless you count the Tal’Dorei Council via Allura, which means for all intents and purposes they just disappeared into Eiselcross...except Trent also knows Caleb disappeared for five or six years once before and reports of his death were greatly exaggerated. If Caleb weren’t dedicated to the noble goal of ending the Volstrucker program ASAP, he could just chill for a year or so and then pull a really stellar Surprise Bitch move and maybe just get Trent’s heart to explode.
Essek Thelyss: He got a good night’s trance and weird physical affection from a giant ape Caleb and he was healed by Caduceus and he had a serious conversation with the first true peer and one of the first friends he’s ever known about how high-level wizardry may not necessarily corrupt absolutely. And, of course, soup. I mean they are about to head into a terrible battle but he’s at full health and spells and he’s a valued member of the team and his friends love him SO MUCH.
Conclusion: 5/10. There is a distinction between a breakdown and being in a very high pressure situation, and he got some nice moments of respite this week. With that said do I think that post-battle, should he survive (HE BETTER) a whole lot of anxiety will come crashing back? Yeah.
Astrid Beck: With Trent in a holding pattern he’s got to be turning up the mind games on her; I have to imagine he suspects and then she suspects that he suspects and it’s a whole mess, but I’ve said that already. But also just like, in general, I think her speech to Caleb back when he first contacted her was genuine in many ways and specifically I think she was likely to have been Trent’s New Golden Child and then suddenly that got yanked out from under her for still more mind games; I think her difference in demeanor between that meeting and the dinner was partially Trent being present, but partially her having realized in the interim that she will likely never have anything to show for two decades of pain and doing terrible things and nonstop bullshit.
Conclusion: still keeping her at 8/10 until further notice but like. Astrid’s having a bad time.
Um actually Eadwulf is the monster? The hero’s name is Grendel: Okay meanwhile here’s my totally unsupported Eadwulf headcanon of this week which is that he meanwhile always knew he was not the favorite and probably never would be and while I doubt he ever had particularly noble goals I would not be surprised if he had an exit strategy. Personally I hope he tries card-counting in that casino in Ank’harel and gets kicked out posthaste and then tries being a wizard/some kind of divine caster multiclass in Vasselheim and also gets kicked out but finally becomes like an old-school hermit figure somewhere in the woods of Issylra and Campaign 3′s party runs into him.
Conclusion: also keeping him at 4/10 until further notice.
Allura Vyesoren: It’s time to acknowledge that this episode covered a span of like...8 hours? And presuming the Nein are sort of trying to keep a normal sleep schedule, maybe, and using a comparison of Eiselcross being at a comparable time zone to say, Nicodranas, and it’s 5 hours into the night for them, and we know that around mid-day for Nicodranas was early morning for Emon...honestly she’s probably relaxing with a glass of wine. Unless Wensforth contacted her.
Conclusion: I’m going to let Allura have a good day. She’s at 2/10 because the threat of Aeor will be in the back of her mind but also she’s seen a bunch of idiots kill dragons and Vecna and they didn’t even have a wizard.
Yussa Errenis: Experiencing a great disturbance in the Astral Sea, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and then just like, kept doing that.
Conclusion: I decided to really go all out last week on the infinity jokes and left myself nothing to go on, huh. Anyway this breakdown goes to 11 (out of 10).
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idontblushsrry · 3 years
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Itadori Yuuji Boyfriend Headcanons
A/N: Reader is from America and a black female. Idk why i decided to write this but I think that Yuuji would be a fun boyfriend lmao. I don’t entirely know what the reader’s cursed technique should be so lmk if you have any ideas. Until then enjoy Yuuji and reader being 2 idiots in love. Spoilers for all the eps of jujutsu kaisen up to about episode 11, nothing past that though as I want to finish the show first before reading the manga, so please be respectful of spoilers and label them (and tag if necessary) in the comments. Also srry if this cuts off abruptly bcus of the point the show is at. This is also like, all over the place but whatever.
(also sorry this was posted later than usual oops)
Word Count:  1943
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This dork-
He is so sweet and kind and considerate 
But also a dumbass but also like he’s your dumbass
You and Yuuji are both equally stupid like bless yalls hearts
You and Yuuji met during his time at the Tokyo Academy when you transferred from America
The moment this man saw you walk up with Gojo-sensei he was smitten
Like your skin was glowing??? how???
And you had a slight accent but like he loved it too
And when you came up to greet him and shake hands you smelled so good and your skin was so soft
((He would later come to find out that the root of that was the shea cocoa butter lotion you used))
But yea mans was smitten and he is fully in love with you lmao
Will do literally anything you ask
You hungry? He’s prepared a 5 course, michelin star meal
Want new clothes? He’s been training for the day he could hold your bags for you
Ran out of hair products?? He’s already back with a special box of your products that he had imported from America
To this day you don’t know how he was able to get those products so quickly
He is loves when you tell him things about you from your day, to your times in america, to how your cursed energy works
Yall are the couple that does stupid shit together
Like one time you showed Yuuji one of those life hack videos and he was like 
“We should totally do that” 
And you were like “Bet”
Needless to say Fushiguro was very confused at the sight of bandaids on both of your fingers the next morning
“???What happened?”
“Well you see, I told Yuuji that I should use the glue gun because he didn’t even know where to put the glue stick. And he said nah, I got it and um yea so I fell and the glue gun was plugged in and then he tripped over me and so now we look like this.”
Gojo and Kugisaki thought that this was hilarious while Fushiguro decided that he’d store your guys’ glue gun in his shadows from now on
How yall manage to get through missions you go on together alive is a miracle
Speaking of missions, you eventually ask Yuuji what’s his deal because you feel a powerful aura coming from him but he never uses cursed energy, always cursed weapons
Cue Sukuna’s mouth popping up on the side of his face like “Hey mamas”
(You can’t tell me that Sukuna isn’t the type of guy to ask where his hug at)
“YUUJI WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”
“Oh, I guess you haven’t met Sukuna yet, huh?”
So he sits you down and explains how he ate Sukuna’s finger and you're sitting there like ‘mhm mhm mhm, sorry you what?’
For like 3 days after he told you that you couldn’t bring yourself to kiss him just because you were processing the fact that Yuuji ate someone’s nasty old ass finger and would have to eat 19 more
And the fact that he’s the vessel of like the worst curse known to man 
During those 3 days, Yuuji’s pouting because he’s like ‘I fucked up, now she doesn’t wanna kiss me let alone talk to me because of this monster inside of me :(’
Meanwhile you’re just like ‘why would anyone eat some random mummified finger?’
Eventually you get wind of Yuuji’s bad mood and immediately, you rush to smooth things over with him.
You knock on his door and hear blankets rustling before he goes, “I’m not in the mood to play fight right now Kugisaki’
“Can I come in baby?”
You immediately hear the most comical almost cartoonish amount of noise ranging from a cup falling over, sheets falling off the bed, and what sounds like Yuuji falling flat on his ass before he opens the door
When he does, you’re laughing and it’s like the sky is no longer grey and the world is filled with color
You smile at each other before your moment is interrupted with Sukuna going “Finally, full offense, his whining was getting annoying”
You step inside his room and apologize for ignoring him, explaining that you just needed time to process things, explaining that you should’ve told him that before dipping
He just grabbed you in a bear hug and lifted you of the ground and spinning you around laughing happily, after all he wasn’t even upset with you, he just missed you
And thus begins the honeymoon phase of your guys’ relationship
Fushiguro is actually really happy for you guys and is the most supportive of your relationship but if anyone asked him to admit that out loud he’d actually apparate to the nearest marooned ship
Nobura doesn’t hate you guys but she thinks all couples are disgusting, so while it’s nothing personal, she does gag when you and Yuuji do so much as make goo goo eyes at each other
Gojo is actually like the main cheerleader of your relationship. 
He is the teacher that changes the seating chart to put students he ships together
He was always pairing you and Yuuji up on missions and placing you as sparring partners like ur not slick
If Gojo is the cheerleader, Sukuna is an actual antagonist
Like the man goes out of his way to CHOOSE violence
Like on time you kissed Yuuji’s cheek on a date and when you pulled back, your lip was bleeding and Sukuna’s mouth was smirking at you
Another thing he likes to do is tell you all of Yuuji’s simp^tm thoughts
Like all of them
Now Yuuji isn’t ashamed of how much he loves you and is in fact very open with it, but he doesn’t need Sukuna telling you that the only reason he bought x mouthwash was because it made your breath smell like “sunshine” and he had to see if it would work on him
Speaking of dates, good luck
Now I stand by the fact that Yuuji would never half-ass a date and things with him are certainly never boring
But he’s also like a country boy in the city and his tourist tendencies tend to get the best of him
Like you’ll be trying to find a spot to eat and when you look back Yuuji’s gone
((Prolly to buy another I <3 Tokyo shirt so you can both match))
He always catches up with you ad you eventually learn that but like the first few times be havin you ready to put up a lost child signal on the loudspeaker
He’s very sweet and this is where his thoughtfulness shines through
You and Yuuji plan dates in the same way one plays bingo
Like because you never know where you’re going to be r when exactly you’ll both be free (especially with Gojo-sensei and his bare minimum ass information) you two tend to go ‘ok well if we’re here we’ll go here and if we’re here, we’ll go here’ and so on and so forth
But Yuuji always remembers such little one-off details about you that make your dates.
Like you mention wanting to try a sushi train and he’s already scrolled through multiple yelp reviews and watched every youtube restaurant review like 9 times
But every high has a low and Yuuji and your’s low comes suddenly and it brings you crashing to the ground with no warning and nothing to slow your descent
When your class of first years were sent to exorcise the special grade cursed womb
When Yuuji’s hand got blown off and he told you to run you froze, your mind racing faster than your legs could even start
“(Y/N) RUN!” Yuuji’s voice broke you out of your fear-based trance
“I- I...can’t...I can’t leave you!” you cried out all your rational senses screamed at you to go, run, he had Sukuna and you were barely a grade 2 sorcerer. But your intuition told you if you left him you wouldn’t see him alive again.
You were trapped in a paralysis of indecision but the choice was made for you when a sticky tongue wrapped around your midriff and you were gulped into the mouth of one of Fushiguro’s frogs
“Goddamn it Fushiguro! Let me go! I need to... save... him.” You were outside the building before you could even finish arguing.
You glared up at Fushiguro but your eyes softened some when you saw how beat up Kugisaki looked.
He gave you this look that said he did what he had to do and he didn’t care what you had to say about it 
You and him waited in the rain for Yuuji or Sukuna to exit the building
You tried to focus yourself and save your negative emotions for your cursed attack
When Sukuna inevitably appeared, one finger stronger, you were fully prepared to fight him
However, he didn’t seem interested in fighting you and more engaged in fighting with Megumi
You tried to urge Fushiguro to wait it out, eventually Sukuna would lose control, but when Sukuna took Yuuji’s heart hostage, you both knew you’d have to fight
You and Fushiguro gave it your all but when Yuuji came back he still died 
It took all your strength to not completely fall apart after his death and the support from the second years as well as Kugisaki and Fushiguro helped
You’d tried to visit him at the morgue but Shoko only told you that she didn’t think it’d be a good idea.
You still slept in his sweaters and the things that smelled like him from time to time, trying to make the idea of him last, but after a month, the smell of him had started to fade
Everything about Yuuji’s memory seemed to become leached away with time, from his smell, to the wear present on things he’d given to you
You couldn’t help but feel resentful towards yourself but also to Sukuna, he’d taken Yuuji from you with the same care that one would throw litter on the ground
The pain in your chest didn’t wane either, it only became ignorable to a degree as training for the exchange with the Kyoto students became more intense
Fushiguro is a comfort to you as well, aside from you, him and Yuuji were the closest to each other and so he gets a lot of what you’re going through and doesn’t push when you become more withdrawn
He also lets you pet his demon dog too but when you ask him why he’s letting you pet it he just says ‘because no one would believe you if you told them’ lies
The bastard really just does it because he knows you’re sad and he doesn’t want you to be sad
Speaking of the Kyoto students, Zenin Mai and Toudou Aoi are permanently on your shit list
You’re relieved that Panda, Maki, and Inumaki came to your guys’ aid but like if you had your way Mai wouldn’t even exist
Anyways Maki has Panda physically restrain you while she tries to calm you down 
“(Y/N), you can kick her ass at the exchange!”
When you calm down, Panda puts you down and even though Mai’s long gone with Todou to go get his handshake, you make a promise that carries through the wind
‘Zenin Mai, pray that the next time you run across me I’m feeling kind, because if not-’, the last word is lost as the wind picks up but Mai feels a shiver rack through her body that more than ensures your message.
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whosscruffylooking · 3 years
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The Purest Things: Wingmen (Aaron Hotchner x Female BAU! Reader)
this is based on season 10 episode 10 “amelia porter”
Warnings: None. Pure Fluff.
A/N: I am so beyond obsessed with the mutual pining. Initially, this was going to be one part, but I have to slow burn the heck out of this, so it'll be a few parts. Enjoy!
The Purest Things Masterlist
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august 2014
Bookend: "You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever." – Love & Other Drugs
I walk into the jazz club, searching for Rossi. For the past year and a half, we have frequented this classy establishment, bonding over our shared passion for jazz and fine liquor. We come here every Friday unless the job keeps us away. It's a form of escapism that I have grown to cherish deeply. With a job like ours, finding something to look forward to each week, some semblance of a routine is crucial.
I stroll over to “our” booth, but instead of seeing David’s familiar face, it's that of the Unit Cheif. I throw my head back and laugh, “Of all the people I could have expected to see here...you were not one of them.”
Don't get me wrong; I'm not upset to find him here. I could never get enough of him. I see him nearly every day of the week, I have weekly movie nights with Jack, and Aaron and I have been to hell and back with each other over the years.
He shakes his head and smirks, “What can I say? I'm full of surprises.”
“So tell me Aaron Hotchner, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this evening?”
“David Rossi, ” he emphasizes.
“So you’ve been recruited as one of his wingmen too huh?”
“Apparently so.”
“Well I'm glad you're here.” I slide into the booth next to him.
He glides his cup in circles along the tablecloth, “Me too.”
“May I pry?” I inquire.
He nods, “You may.”
“Why exactly are you here? Believe me, I'm thrilled you're joining us, but David and I have been coming here for over a year. Why'd he invite you now?”
His shoulders tense up, and then he inhales deeply, the tension releasing when he exhales.
“If I'm being completely honest, I think it has something to do with the fact that Beth and I are no longer together.”
“Oh my God, Hotch. I'm so sorry, I didn't know.”
Aaron looks up at me; the professional man, the profiler I'm so familiar with, is gone. Instead, he looks at me with the eyes of a vulnerable man, someone who loves so passionately and craves that same love in return. This isn't the first time he's looked at me with those eyes, and I pray that it is not the last time. If it were anyone else, the prolonged eye contact would deter me; my glance would dart in the other direction. But, for years, I have savored these intimate moments with him. I'm not exactly sure when this connection began or when it deepened to the awareness we now have of one another.
Most likely, it began shortly after Haley’s death, when I started to spend more time with Jack or those late nights working in the office with him. Maybe it was that time I brought him his favorite coffee and bagel to his house because I knew he wouldn’t feed himself otherwise.
(Aaron’s P.O.V.)
I gaze at her with utmost fascination. She is a mystery I have never been able to solve, a profile I cannot complete. She is whole, a pillar of strength for our team, her family, me, and Jack. Yet, there is a fear within her that mimics a young child scared of the monsters that are both imagined and real. She’s seen and experienced things that no one her age should have to witness. I can see through the worn expression on her face. She’s holding herself together for the sake of everyone around her, but inside she’s slowly falling apart. All I want is to help mend those crumbling pieces and hold her together. She doesn’t realize that she has been doing that very thing for me for the past four years.
In my life, I have had the opportunity to love deeply and freely. But two of those loves stand in realms of their own. The first time I fell in love, it was with an opposite. A precious, symbolic tale of love and loss.
With Beth, I did love her. She gave me the strength to feel something again after Haley died. I found the ability to move forward with hope and recognition that I deserve happiness once again.
The second great love came in the form of a mirror. We share an empathy, an understanding of the fundementals of life and love that shapes our individual values. I was far from perfect when we met; I was detached, damaged, and hopeless. I felt like I was barely a man. Truth be told, I won’t be perfect after the fact either. But, she gives me a sense of realness that I never perceived as possible. And since the day we met before I even accepted the actuality of my affections for her, I strove to better myself. Every day since, and for the rest of my life, I want to work every day to be the man she deserves and needs.
Awakening from my trance, I speak up, “I am grateful every day for the relationship I had with Beth. I truly did love her. I love her still for the person she helped me become. I realized, through her, that I can choose to move forward with my life.”
“You deserve to be happy, Aaron,” she interjects.
“Some time ago, Rossi came into my office encouraging me to start dating again. He reminded me that Haley wouldn’t want me to avoid moving on. Of course, my immediate instinct was to deny that I was guilty of just that. But he was right. He told me that I am no good to anyone when I’m miserable.”
She throws her head back and laughs, “Miserable? No, I wouldn’t call you that. Slightly uptight? Absolutely.”
I gasp, exaggerating a look of offense, “I’m hurt.”
She touches my arm, and I can feel my heart stop for a beat. Something about her touch elevated my heart and soul to another plain. It’s as if her small hand on my forearm revealed the certainty I had been searching for.
I chuckle, “Don’t worry. David and I came to the same conclusion.”
“Phew,” she breathes out a sigh of relief, “Good because I didn’t know how I was going to dig myself out of that hole....but please, continue what you were saying.”
I take a deep breath, “When you and I met I had already lost my entire world. Haley had just recently taken Jack, we were fighting constantly, and then...” I feel my eyes beginning to sting, and I realize that she hasn’t taken her grip off my arm once she squeezes it reassuringly.
“When Haley died, it felt like I was staring into an abyss. After the funeral, you found me alone, in some room that I had escaped to for some solace. But I didn’t feel any relief. And then, you came in. You sat across from me, and we just sat in silence. Somehow though, more was said in that silence than I had ever dared to utter out loud to someone. You didn’t know it then, but you saved me that day. You saved Jack too.”
I hear her short intake of breath and look over to see her lip beginning to tremble.
“Aaron...”
As much as I want to hear her melodic voice speak to me now, when I am most unarmed, a feeling that is entirely foreign to me, I have never felt so driven to yell from the top of my lungs a profession of love for this woman.
I begin to speak again, and I am immediately interrupted by Rossi, accompanied by the jazz singer hooked on his arm.
“La mia bella ragazza! Finalmente sei arrivato,” he says, kissing the top of her head. She blushes slightly, her eyes flickering to me briefly.
“You are a sight for sore eyes my dear. Is she not Aaron?”
I take a sip of my drink, glancing at y/n, her beautiful y/e/c sparkling back at me. How can anyone put into words just how beautiful she is?
I nod, “She is indeed.”
I’m suddenly made aware of the absence of her touch on my arm. How can someone’s touch both simultaneously have such a stronghold on you and also set you free? Regardless of the reason, I long to savor that feeling once again.
“Well,” she inches out of the booth, “I’m going to get a drink. Can I get you boys anything?”
We shake our heads in unison. Rossi suggests that his date join her.
He places his hand on my shoulder, “So? Any progress made?”
“I don’t want to overwhelm her. There’s so much I want to say. But I feel like I’ve put her through enough already. I’m an old man Dave. I’m a widower with a son. The damage I’d be asking her to cope with, the burden I’d be subjecting her to...”
David clears his throat and slips his phone out of his pocket. He swipes through some photos in his camera roll and lands on a photo of y/n and me. It’s from a cocktail party he hosted a few years ago. Jack, y/n, and I are sitting on the grass in Rossi’s backyard playing with dandelions. I can still hear their laughter filling the air: Jack’s squeals and y/n’s child-like giggles. We felt like a family. I would give anything to relive those moments of genuine bliss, to feel that sensation of being complete, heart, mind, and soul once more.
“Sometimes,” Rossi begins, “when people are destined to be together, their love grows over an undetermined span of time. It could be months, weeks, even years. You both may feel the shared pain of this rollercoaster called life and the hurt that comes from being separated from one another, but this helps you better grasp the priceless value and purity of the love you share. There is no easy road to love. Anyone who claims otherwise is doomed to be plagued by the mediocrity that is a false sense of security. The path you are on, Aaron is the one walked by the greatest lovers in history. In layman’s terms, don’t screw this up.”
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Subtitles: Episode 4, We Interrupt This Program
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Subtitles Masterlist
Summary: [Y/N] is still recovering from one of the worst migraines they’ve ever had and they have the scars to prove it… Wait. Those scars weren’t there before and they certainly weren’t from passing out on the sidewalk a few days prior!
Word count: 9,361
Warnings: Mentions of (not super graphic) death and mental illness. Also Reader being just a little horny on main, but what’s new; almost 9.5k words and they’re simping for most of them. Lots of dorky fluff and also talking about insecurities.
Tag list: @madamevirgo​ @ravennight41​ @multifandomgirl16 @cyanide-mustard​ @badasspolygenderfriend​
~~~
    In the black void of otherwise dreamless sleep, voices were conversing.
    “[Y/N] [L/N]…” one started.
    [Y/N] [L/N]. Age twenty-five. Born to Killian and Alice [L/N] in [city, state] but Dad wasn’t in the picture. No siblings, no living relatives. They wanted to go to school for botany but Mom was diagnosed with early-onset dementia while they were still in high school, so they changed their career path to neurology in hopes of finding a way to help her. She still lives in their hometown.
    “Oh, wait,” another voice chimed in, almost indistinguishable from the first, “I know this one. Oh, God.”
    [Y/N] was an Honors student, at the top of all their classes. A degree in neurology with phytotoxicology on the side. They took an internship in Europe one year and somehow found themselves in Sokovia. HYDRA was still laying low at the time, caught wind of them.
    “Wait,” a third voice, this one easier to differentiate from the other two. “They’re HYDRA?”
    The second voice responded, “Former.”
    [Y/N] had no idea what they were getting into. HYDRA, always good at hiding in the shadows; they brought [Y/N] in under the guise of an assistant job studying new forms of neural regeneration. A job that paid well enough to live comfortably and even send a little extra home, while developing something that just might solve all their mother’s problems? It was a dream come true. 
Fortunately for HYDRA but unfortunately for [Y/N], they were very good at their job too. They helped HYDRA develop all kinds of nasty stuff. Nanobots that changed brain chemistry, near foolproof brainwashing tech— They even helped develop special toxins, one of the world’s deadliest poisons. All the while, thinking they were doing something good.
“How is that possible?” the original voice asked. “How could they have been so oblivious?”
“One-track mind?” the second voice offered, “Plus misinformation on HYDRA’s part and ‘routine health checks’ with something a little extra mixed in.”
“They were tested on?”
“A victim of almost everything they’d helped create, except the fatal stuff and anything that would disrupt business as usual. IVs and shots full of toxins, nanobots being released into their room while they slept.”
The third asked, “What changed?”
“Wanda.”
[Y/N] stumbled upon Wanda and her brother by pure accident. They’d been late that day and in their hurry, ran through a wrong door to where HYDRA was keeping Sokovian volunteers for testing. The twins were the youngest in their group, [Y/N] was only a couple of years older and the youngest in their division. It was a match made in heaven, really.
“Try hell,” the first voice suggested with a scoff.
The other voices offered their murmured agreements.
“So they knew each other,” the third voice said, “Before.”
That’s when [Y/N] started pulling at threads and HYDRA’s costume began to unravel; their one-track mind had switched gears. There was something too weird about the whole thing, these Sokovian civilians had stories that didn’t line up with [Y/N]’s own. 
“And they believed them?”
They believed Wanda. She and her brother were just two more Sokovian citizens suffering at the hands of war and wanting to help their people. They had no reason to lie. They had more reason to be honest to [Y/N] than HYDRA ever did, actually. It was just a bonus that for Wanda and [Y/N], being around each other was like being a moth drawn to a flame.
[Y/N] may have been naive but they were far from stupid. When they figured out what was going on, they wriggled their way deeper into HYDRA’s ranks under their own disguise of loyalty. They became a full-fledged HYDRA agent, tasked with assisting in neural and poisonous weaponry. They weren’t able to protect Pietro and Wanda from testing, obviously—not that Wanda would have let them; she and her brother still believed they were being tested on for the greater good—but they did their best to stay nearby and keep the Maximoffs’ sanity intact for as long as they could. They even managed to save a couple of the other test victims by injecting them with temporary poisons that lowered their heart rate to the point of appearing dead. When the bodies were dropped off, the poison wore off not long after and some of the victims were able to escape. No side effects to be seen.
“I have a question,” Original voice said abruptly. “Why do we know this much information on one person? Like, this is some in-depth, intimate stuff. Why do we know that [Y/N] and Wanda had the hots for each other since day one?”
Second voice answered, “We’ve done extensive research on [Y/N]. The result of an investigation on the person who caused the apprehension of an entire faction of HYDRA after successfully poisoning them.”
The tests that were done on [Y/N] were not without their outcomes. They gained the ability to transform almost any matter into almost any other form.
“Huh,” Third voice hummed, “That reminds me of a series of disappearances a few years back. One house was replaced by rose bushes and another—get this—burned down because the roof had been turned to lava. Whoever it was, they either stopped on their own or died. What were they called?”
“The Alchemist,” Second stated simply, much to Third’s dismay. “And those were incognito HYDRA agents.”
After Pietro died and Wanda disappeared—not really disappeared, just left with the Avengers—[Y/N] had a choice to make. They were far too deep into HYDRA’s work now, the awful things that they had done were beginning to weigh on them, as Wanda and her brother had been just as grounding for [Y/N] as [Y/N] had been for her. After she was gone, they had a hard time dealing with the horrible business going on around them. So they did what they knew how to do; they mixed up a combination of poison and nanobots.
[Y/N] had fully committed to perishing with the rest of their coworkers but apparently, the poison hadn’t been quite strong enough. They’d made a miscalculation in a time of poor mental state and woke up the next day to hear that not all of the HYDRA agents had died either. At least the survivors had been taken in for the time being but that just wasn’t enough for them; they’d had a right to be concerned too because HYDRA had a habit of getting themselves out of sticky situations. This case was no different. 
[Y/N] most likely felt responsible for having a hand in HYDRA’s dirty work, for not doing more, and they must have felt even more responsible when they learned that HYDRA was a much bigger problem than they could have ever imagined.
First blurted, “Well, what happened next?”
Second answered, “They went after agents until they got caught, the only way they knew how.”
The second miscalculation that they’d ever made got them caught. The agent put a gun to [Y/N]’s head and pulled the trigger.
“So are they dead too?” First asked. The voice seemed to quiver.
The third voice hemmed and hawed a bit before saying, “They must have, with the way all this weirdness had been going. Oh my god, poor Wanda, not one dead partner but two—”
Second spoke over the other two voices’ rambling, forcing them to calm down and listen. “They didn’t die, though, they—”
The voices started cutting out like the dream was a TV program being interfered by a poor connection and static.
“—Found by—Barely alive—Hospital—Braindead—Westview—Find a doct—”
Suddenly gunshots sounded, one followed by several more, and the darkness cracked and shattered, revealing blinding light behind it. A silhouette walked silently through the wall of light; it was Geraldine—no, Monica—poised with a gun in the outfit she helped deliver Maximoff twins in. As she walked forward, crossing from a plane of burning white to one of void black, the image of her warped and distorted until it changed. Monica, looking much more modern, in a uniform that included a bulletproof vest and a lanyard with S.W.O.R.D. printed at the top, moving carefully towards a broken and bleeding body on the ground with another in a heap behind her. The image distorted and changed again, and the first body was sitting on their knees and looking up defiant defeat. The person they were looking at was no longer Monica but a bulky figure in a dark outfit with straps in the form of an H across their chest, the body that had been laying in a battered pile behind Monica just a moment earlier. The H-adorned assailant held a still-raised gun to the kneeling person’s forehead.
[Y/N] could only spit at their feet before another gunshot sounded and the image disappeared to black.
You woke up sweating and choking on your breath. Your brain, throbbing with a pain that shot through it like a bullet, didn’t register fast enough that you were standing instead of laying down so when you flailed, you threw yourself off balance and fell forward. Catching a quick glimpse of your surroundings on your way down told you that you were somewhere outside and that it was the dead of night. You tried last minute to brace yourself for a concrete-laden impact.
    You were instead greeted with soft fabric and arms wrapping tightly around you.
    “Goodness, [Y/N], are you quite alright?”
    You squinted at the striped sleepwear for a moment before looking up where Vision’s worried gaze and whirling irises were waiting for you; it took your eyes a moment to fully focus as the pain in your head faded but left a faint ringing behind. Then you looked around at your surroundings; not only were you outside but you were standing in Vision and Wanda’s driveway. Your gaze settled on a particular section of the house’s exterior where you vividly remembered a vaguely human shape exploding out of its walls. 
    You were standing in the exact same place you had been when it happened.
    “[Y/N]?” Vision said again, drawing your attention back to him.
    “Oh, cosmo, I’m sorry,” you said but your throat was too dry and you had to stop and clear your throat halfway through. Being in Vision’s arms, you were keenly aware of the fact that you were both in your bedwear and that yours had been sweated through. You slumped against him, partially to hide your embarrassed face but also because you felt like you hadn’t slept at all.
    “Vis?”
    “Yes, my favorite teacup?”
    You snorted softly at that. “You don’t even drink tea.”
    “Oh, I know,” Vision lilted back. Then he nuzzled his face into your hair. “I do like the patterns and the daintiness of them though.”
    That time you laughed a bit. Feeling his warm breath against your scalp and his strong arms holding you safely in place against him, you almost instantly melted into the embrace. You wrapped your own arms around him and pressed your face into his chest. “What are we doing outside?”
    “Ah, yes, about that. You appeared to be sleepwalking again.”
    You groaned. “Again? This is a nightmare.”
    One of Vision’s hands moved to run itself through your hair and down your neck. “That accident you had the other day certainly did a number on you.”
    The accident. In other words, that time where you walked off in the middle of a conversation with Vision, Agnes, and Herb to mumble at a wall and then faceplant onto the sidewalk. Not only was your nose still recovering but your mind and dignity as well.
    “The only time I’ve slept well since is when I fell asleep on your couch,” you whined. Then you lowered your voice and grumbled into Vision’s chest.
    Vision chuckled. “What was that?”
    You looked up at him and scowled. “The four of you are over here in your stupid, big, warm, cozy house. Meanwhile, I’m across the way, alone and uncomfortable, with only Bernard to keep me company. Bernard’s terrible company.”
    “Truly,” Vision agreed, grinning slightly. He loved your strange, cute, not at all challenging struggles.
    The both of you turned to give the lawn ornament in question a pointed look. Bernard seemed to glower back.
    “Well,” Vision said as he pulled away from you a bit, “why don’t you come inside then? Wanda’s up with the babies anyway. You might as well join us, especially if it means you’ll be able to sleep better.” Not taking no for an answer, the synthezoid was already tugging you towards the lit-up porch.
    You were too tired to argue and, quite frankly, you didn’t want to, so you allowed yourself to be pulled along as you admired the soft cotton of Vision’s matching pajama set.
    “Oh, my.”
    “What?” You looked at Vision’s face again only to catch him staring at a spot above your eyes. The porch light glinted off the gem embedded in his own. “What, do I have something on my face?”
    “No,” Vision responded slowly, “but you must have done something to it. You have quite the scar.”
    Your eyebrows raised. You moved away from him to look at your reflection in one of the windows and surely enough, you had a raised scar on your forehead, near your hairline. You gingerly pressed your fingers against it; it certainly wasn’t new.
    A seemingly random thought popped into your head. Is that… a scar from a bullet?
    “What on earth did you do to yourself?” Vision asked. Him walking up to stand directly behind you and press his hands to your neck, under the collar of your shirt no less, was more than a little distracting. “You’ve got one back here too.”
    You reached back to where Vision was touching and when he removed his fingers, you could feel a similar scar at the base of your neck.
    You thought again, Bullet… exit wound…? 
    Something about the dream you were having earlier called out to you but you couldn’t remember anything about it. When you tried to think about it further, the excruciating pain came back in waves and you had to steady yourself on the windowsill to prevent yourself from collapsing.
    “Huh,” you said instead, “I have no idea.”
    “They don’t hurt?” Vision questioned. “They’re not just… odd raised bruises perhaps? Welts maybe?”
    “No, I don’t think so. They don’t hurt at all, though.” To make a point, you pressed down hard on the raised scar on your forehead, watched the skin turn a few shades lighter before releasing the pressure and dropping your hand again. Under the thick, stiff tissue, you barely felt the pressure at all.
    Vision thoughtfully hummed, placing his hands back on the curves of your neck; you prayed to whatever deities existed that you didn’t make any sounds you’d regret.
    “Well,” your partner said, “I suppose that’s better than nothing.”
    A pause. Your eyes stayed trained on the window’s reflection, specifically where you could see Vision’s fingers gently cupping your neck.
    Then he abruptly leaned down and pressed a kiss on the scar tissue, missing a pulse point by a hair. “We should head inside then.”
    You had to take a solid minute to recover from the shockwave of tingles that briefly made your veins turn into lightning. Then you shuffled after Vision into the ever so inviting house.
    Stepping out of chilly darkness and into a home of cozy furniture and warm light that turned the entire place a golden brown felt like walking into another world. An extra added layer of comfort to the usually perfect home was the slight disarray of baby equipment almost everywhere that wasn’t the floor itself, most of which you had gone out and bought during the babies’ day of birth and all of which Vision and Wanda appreciated; somehow, you had prepared for the babies’ accelerated growing on a panicked whim better than the Maximoffs. Tiny baby blankets and stuffed animals were strewn about and each visible part of the house—the living room, the dining area, and the kitchen, although the kitchen was partially blocked off by a drying rack of baby clothes and swaddles of various patterns and sizes—had a designated Baby Tray. These trays, perched on whatever flat surface had been previously free of decor or clutter, held bottles, nonperishable treats, diaper-changing equipment, teething toys, a mini first aid kit for each, and other useful trinkets; the new parents had apparently completely forgotten that almost all their house’s rooms were openly attached to each other and that, if one singular Baby Tray was designated to the dining area, it would take the same amount of about five steps to get to it from either the living area or the kitchen. It was almost comedic, the number of baby care items that were laying anywhere but the floor or in proper storage because, according to Vision, god forbid something gets a speck of dust on it and have to be washed or, according to Wanda, one of the babies be without their favorite toys easily accessible at every given moment. The only thing allowed to touch the ground, aside from feet, was a playpen that now replaced the usual coffee table in the living room area and a play mat in the babies’ room with its attached toys for the twins to play with. A final touch to the hominess was the soft light that you could see streaming out of the baby room’s open door, and the gentle voice of Wanda, singing a Sokovian lullaby, fluttering out of it. 
    It felt like coming home.
    Vision stepped away from your side to clean up somewhat, picking up a few toys and folding baby blankets and onesies to move them aside in case you wanted to make yourself comfortable on the couch. Standing inside now, you could much better make out Vision’s dark blue terry robe over a pair of bright yellow pajama pants that no doubt had a shirt to match hidden beneath dark blue fabric. The yellow of his pants matched the yellow gem that was embedded in his forehead, glittering with an unused power that you had yet to experience and that felt warm whenever you went to place a kiss on it. Poking out from the hems of his robe and pants were perfectly human hands and feet, despite their deep red color that matched the rest of his body; you found the continued presence of fingernails when not in his human disguise—absolutely unnecessary to his design, he’d pointed out when you initially asked about them—weirdly cute and continuously felt the urge to grab nail polish and paint them to match either the color of the gem or the same silver as the plating that started at his scalp and trailed down beneath the collar of his shirt. You briefly wondered how far that plating traveled across his body before mentally kicking yourself.
    The greatest thing about this still-fresh reveal of Vision’s inhuman identity—aside from the fact that he was no longer hiding something important from you, obviously—was that you now knew that he wasn’t just difficult to make blush but rather he quite literally couldn’t blush. You wondered what else he could and couldn’t do, only to mentally kick yourself again. 
    I can’t tell if I’ve gotten worse or better since I’ve started dating them, you thought.
    Oh, your brain responded on its own accord, so much worse. 
    Shhh!
    Vision was still puttering why while you stared and inwardly argued with yourself. At this point, he’d cleaned up most of the chaos and moved the stuffed animals and now-folded blankies to sit neatly on the dining area table.
    “Vis,” you said.
    Before you could continue, the man perked up and looked in your direction. “Yes, duck?”
    You blinked. “You make my heart go rainbow-colored. Anyway—” You broke off into a laugh when Vision went flustered, his hands flapping about while he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. “Did I win this round?”
    Sometimes Vision got into the habit of ending all of his sentences around you and Wanda with a pet name. When you had first noticed this feat, you’d decided to start doing the same, just to see what would happen. He noticed and began purposely doing it back, where he had previously done it unintentionally, and now doing the occasional back-and-forth conversation that ended in pet names more than punctuation was somewhat of a competition between you two. 
    Vision scoffed at you, picked up a plushie, and tossed it at you. “Not fair!”
    Being in the house that was beginning to feel more like home than your own, around your partners and their sweet baby boys, seemed to shield and reenergize you from the exhaustion you felt after first waking up that night. You caught the stuffed animal, a plushie of a wizard, grinned and tossed it back at him. 
    “Oh,” Vision chirped, catching the plush wizard again, “I see how it is.” He puffed out his chest and gave you a warning, albeit amused, glare, then picked up a couple more plushes. In a lower, sort of growling voice that made your heart leap out of your chest and into your stomach, he continued, “If it’s a war you want, it’s a war you shall get.”
    You yelped as he started in your direction and dived across the front of the couch to get some stuffed animal ammo of your own. He nailed you in the foot with a cream-colored bunny and you returned the favor with a plushie of a witch in a red dress after taking cover behind the playpen. Now each of you was standing where the other had previously been, with you poking your head over the playpen’s sheer wall and Vision slowly pacing around the back of the couch for his second lap. You pulled the playpen with you with one hand as you moved away from him and the two of you began circling each other. 
    Oh, if Wanda could see her partners now.
    “Oh, Wanda—” you started to stand, only to get smacked in the face with a blue teddy bear; luckily, it was of the very soft variety. You stared at Vision in disbelief.
    Vision stared back, eyes bulging, unsure of whether he should apologize or prepare for an attack. He was too torn to do either, though, and had to scramble back to avoid an onslaught of stuffed bullets flying his way.
    Still aware that it was very late at night, your war-cry was softened, “Revenge!”
    Then your attack quickly diminished, partially because you were running out of ammo and Vision wasn’t throwing anything back and partially because Vision was now floating off the ground and heading towards you, arms full of said ammo.
    Wow, didn’t know it did that, you thought randomly, eyes fixed Vision floating in general, before specifically fixating on the devilish grin he wore while doing so. He looked like a very handsome, well, vision.
    A handsome Vision, if you will, your brain offered. You almost snorted before remembering you had not yet moved to avoid Vision’s floating plushie attack. You stumbled backward and scrambled out of the living room just as Vision started throwing.
    “No no no no no nonononono—” You were choking between laughter and squawking as you got up and began running down the hallway to save yourself. “Not fair, not fair not fair, not fair—!”
    You ran past the baby room and caught Wanda mid-turnaround, saying, “What on earth is going on out there?” You reeled back to pause in the doorway, caught a glimpse of the babies in their one large crib, smiled, went to pant out an answer—
    Only to feel arms wrap around you and drag you back down the hallway. You started to shriek, then forced it into a startled laugh as to not disturb the babies, and flailed around in Vision’s arms as he lifted you off the ground. It was brief, though, because then your struggling caught Vision off balance and the two you tumbled to the ground. There, you both harmlessly pummeled each other until you both were out of breath and snickering, and you somehow ended up with his top half under you but his legs pinning down your own.
    “You can fly?” you bubbled. You grabbed his face and squished his cheeks in your hands. “What the hell?”
    He laughed and nodded, and one of his hands caught your own. He glanced up at you as he kissed your palm and replied, “Yes, just a little.”
    “Just a little—”
    “And his wife can move things with her mind, like the crib she just finished rocking to put the boys back to sleep, and if she has to do it again because of her partners’ roughhousing…”
    You and Vision quickly disentangled yourselves from each other and looked up at Wanda, whose face said serious but whose eyes twinkled with amusement and who looked no less terrifying in a pale pink, puff-sleeved nightgown.
    You got up and straightened your clothes, with Vision following closely behind. “I will very happily take over the next shift because I started it and I’m very sorry.” 
    “What? Nonsense, [Y/N], I threw the first stuffed animal.”
    “I threw it back,” you pointed out.
    “Neither of you better have thrown and hit something,” Wanda warned.
    You glanced at Vision for confirmation; you didn’t exactly see much when you were chucking plushies aplenty and then running from your flying boyfriend.
    Vision nodded. “Nothing at all, although I did make the evaluation that we do have a plethora of plushies and baby blankets.”
    “I thought I was the one who pointed that out when you first gave me the shopping list, but okay,” you huffed under your breath, then grinned with Vision lightly bumped you with his hip. “So, the babies having a bad night?”
    “Actually, they were apparently worried about you,” Wanda said.
    That made your head do a confused tilt. “Me?”
    “Ah, yes,” Vision nodded, “We fell asleep with them in the living room and Billy started crying. We woke up to figure out what was wrong and Wanda saw you standing outside.”
    Wanda added, “Tommy started crying shortly after I walked to the door with him like he wanted to make sure you were okay.”
    “Aww,” you cooed, peering over Wanda’s shoulder to see the babies. She stepped to the side so you could walk in and shuffle over to the crib, and she and Vision stood nearby as you crouched down to brush a hand over their little sleeping heads. You continued, much softer this time, “Were the boys trying to make sure I was safe? Are they my little protectors? My little superheroes?”
    Tommy gurgled happily in his sleep. Billy remained quiet but his head leaned into your hand.
    You looked up at their parents with big, awestruck eyes to see them leaning comfortably into each other, watching you with the same level of affection you felt for them and their babies.
    “Heroes indeed,” Vision said. He walked over as you stood up again and lightly rocked the crib; Wanda strolled over to join the group. He continued to the twins in baby-talk, “But no hero-ing until after college, my little honeydews. For now, leave the protecting to your parents.” 
    “Especially this one,” Wanda chirped, making her way over to your side and slipping her arm around your back. “They’re a handful.”
    You faked a gasp, “I’m a treasure.”
    “You’re a putz,” Wanda said simply, with a smirk and a light pinch to your hip.
    You gasped harder and stared at her with utter betrayal.
    “A goof,” Vision chimed in. He slipped his own arm around you, the final piece of your three-person puzzle.
    You gasped harder still— and almost choked on air. Then you looked to the babies. “Bullies! Bullies, both of them! Billy, Tommy, you must protect me!”
    Very enthusiastically, neither baby did anything. 
    “I’ve been betrayed yet again,” you cried, not too loudly, though. You slumped against Vision and Wanda’s waiting arms. “Betrayed by my own brood!”
    “Your brood?” Wanda questioned, quirking a brow. Vision was giggling softly at your other side.
    “Yes,” you whispered, looking at her with wide, distraught eyes, “My brood. My pack. My murder.”
    “Your what?” Vision said.
    “It’s a group of crows,” you explained under your breath, before slumping down farther and continuing your distraught monologue. “I’m all alone! Oh, the horror—”
    “Well,” Wanda said, “We’re supporting you very well a family that has completely abandoned you.”
    You flopped your head back in her direction. You were so far to the ground now that you were practically on your knees, only your arms and shoulders being held by Wanda and Vision. You traced fingers lamely across each of their arms. “So strong, those who once held me…”
    The married couple exchanged an amused but mysterious look.
    “Wanda, darling,” Vision said, “They seem to have gone delusional.”
    Wanda nodded sagely in response. “Clearly lost their mind.”
    You squinted, glancing between them. What were they up to?
    “To the ward with you,” Wanda suddenly announced.
    Then you caught a red glow by your feet, but not fast enough before you were swept up into the air on a cloud of red mist. You burst into startled laughter but quickly slapped a hand over your mouth so you didn’t wake up the children. Once you relaxed—enough to stop laughing anyway, not enough to not be freaking out about being magically escorted out of the nursery—you waved your hands through the red; it felt like waving your hands through the open air. The only thing actually felt was the pressure on the back of your body that was holding you afloat and carrying you out of the room, but when you tried to balance on it and move to a different position, all you did was squirm and twist awkwardly in the air before flopping back down. You craned your neck, mostly to make sure Tommy and Billy hadn’t woken up from your outburst, but you only caught Wanda, hands glowing red, following you out of the room and Vision trailing after wishing his babies a goodnight.
    You looked back at the ceiling for a moment. After you heard the nursery door shut, you asked at a normal volume, “I’m not gonna fall, right?”
    “Not unless I let you,” Wanda reassured you. You couldn’t see her but the teasing tone of her voice made you imagine her with a smirk. A smirk, narrowed eyes, her pretty nightgown floating around her, magical powers that she could definitely use to crush you if she wanted to and you’d probably thank her if she did.
    Wow, okay, I either need to confess my sins or go to sleep.
    “Why?” Wanda asked suddenly.
    “Why what?” you choked back, heat rushing to your face. Surely, she couldn’t read your thoughts…
    “Why ask if you would fall?”
    Oh.
    “Oh.” You started flopping around in the cloud of magic, testing the proverbial waters; you were being taken to the living area now. You heard both Wanda and her husband laughing from beneath and behind you when you settled again. 
    Vision asked through chuckling, “What could you possibly be doing?”   
    You suddenly flung yourself to one of the magic surrounding you, thinking maybe you would fall through, but the magic held. You huffed and laid back again but not before you caught a glimpse of the couch that you now hovered over. You grasped at the magic again, watching it wisp through your fingers but feeling nothing at all. “This is so cool.”
    Wanda’s voice was softer when she spoke this time. “You think?”
    You couldn’t hold back the disbelieving laughter that bubbled up. Suddenly breathless out of sheer excitement of learning more about the people you cared for most, you sighed, “Wanda, baby, you must know that you’re amazing.”
    Then you squawked as the magic suddenly disappeared around you, but instead of falling straight to the couch below, Vision flew up to catch you. He held you bridal style as he gently dropped back to his feet next to the couch, grinning—he very rarely just smiled, it was always a big, happy grin when it was directed at you or Wanda or the babies—and giving you a peck on the forehead when you stared up at him, doe-eyed.
    “Got my own Superman, too,” you said, “Damn.”
    Vision plopped you down on the couch. “Who?”
    “Comic book character,” you responded with a wave of your hand, “Doesn’t matter. You’re far better looking than him anyway.”
You shifted a bit to get more comfortable and watched as glowing red magic started swirling all around you. The magic was misty, red around the edges and glowing orange-white in the center, picking up the scattered toys from your and Vision’s scuffle and tossing them into the playpen, pulling said playpen out of the way and sliding the original coffee table back from its place against the wall, picking up any other stray blankets or baby items and placing them neatly out of the way; it also straightened out Vision’s robe and ruffled your hair. Part of the magic moved out of your line of vision, so you twisted to follow it and saw it taking the baby clothes off the drying rack to fold and put on the counter next to it, then continued watching as it folded the rack itself and moved it out of the way. 
Wanda was now in your sight again too; she was standing still, palms up with magic flowing outward from the red clouds around them, and looking around to see if there was anything else she needed to put away. She was also blushing, from you calling her baby or saying she’s amazing, you couldn’t tell. After staring for probably way too long, probably looking at her with the same starry-eyed, dopey look that a teenager had at their first concert or after a first kiss, her gaze flitted to yours and made a nose-scrunching face at you before finishing her magical cleanup and making her way over to the couch as well.
You slumped back in the pile of throw pillows behind you, covered your face with your hands, and flutter-kicked your feet few times. “This is so cool!”
    You felt a nudge at your feet and you raised your legs so he could sit, then did the same with your head when you felt Wanda’s hand brush across your forehead. When they were both seated, you laid your legs and head on their respective laps and the three of you settled into the comfortable position that had been adopted long after your relationship had started. 
    That is until you quickly sat up again. “Is that how you unpacked your house so quickly?”
    Wanda smiled and nodded. She rested a cheek in the palm of her hand, endeared by your wonderment towards her powers.
    “Is that you unpacked my house?”
    Another nod. 
    “And the magic show was real— Wait.” You scowled. “But all the pulleys and stuff.”
    “That was, ah, my bad,” Vision offered with a raised hand. 
    “Covering for him actually using his powers,” Wanda explained.
    “I knew the mirrors didn’t make sense with you putting your hat through your body!” you exclaimed. “So flight, super strong, and… not sure what to call that last one. What was with you that day, by the way? You acted drunk, but you can’t get drunk!”
    “I swallowed some gum,” Vision muttered, glancing away and rubbing the side of his neck. His other hand waved towards his torso as he continued, “It got all… stuck. Gummed up my gears, if you will.”
    Wanda rolled her eyes at the pun. You snickered at it.
    “I had to magic it out of him,” she added.
    Your gaze flitted back and forth between your two superhuman partners multiple times as you took in the information. Because you were sitting between the two, this involved the turning of your head various times, which made your head swim a bit. You almost wished that they were both sitting to one side of you.
    Instead of suggesting this, you settled your gaze to stare aimlessly ahead and said simply, “I’m dating two of the weirdest, coolest, most stellar people in the world. How the hell did I manage that?”
    “Charisma,” Vision offered, even though you and him both knew at this point how you’d weirdly creeped on him at the office the first day the two of you met.
    “Sheer force of will,” Wanda suggested, but you guaranteed she was remembering how, for the few dates you went on with them, you’d had to be reminded that you were actually on dates and that they weren’t just casual friendly hangouts. 
    You looked between them once more and then you wished you had suggested they sit to one side of you. Despite their steady, comfortable voices, Wanda was in the process of hiding her flustered face behind the curtain of her hair and Vision was chewing on his lip and couldn’t seem to keep his hands and feet from tapping away.
    “Okay,” you said after a moment, patting your thighs to do something with your hands. “I’m grasping that you guys don’t agree with me here. Wanda, go sit by him so I don’t get whiplash from trying to look at you both.”
    You and Wanda quickly switched places. You sat cross-legged on the couch to face them and Wanda and Vision shifted around to sit in a way that allowed them to face you without one blocking the other. After a moment, you waved your hands at them; the cheery air has since faded into something more somber. “What is it? Tell me why you get all quiet like that when I tell you, with evidence, why you’re the actual grooviest people I’ve ever met.”
    There were a few more moments of silence before Vision went to speak first, which surprised Wanda. She looked at him, eyebrows raised high on her forehead, and lightly grasped his wrist.
    “Vis?” she murmured.
    He sighed softly and placed his other hand over hers. “Oh, it’s really nothing dear, I promise. It’s just… Well, you’ve heard how the people of the cul-de-sac talk about us sometimes.”
    “Mean girls,” you grumbled under your breath with a nod, “the lot of them sometimes.”
    Wanda seemed to suddenly sag with sadness and both you and Vision reached over quickly to hold her.
    “Oh, darling,” Vision said, “It’s not your fault—”
    “That’s not true,” Wanda whispered.
    “It is true,” Vision said, and this time he said it with a fierceness that was familiar to you, whenever Wanda was being treated poorly by people like the Queen of the Cul-de-Sac, Dotty, or when Wanda decided to get down on herself. He grasped her shoulders tightly, squeezed them until she looked up at him. “Wanda, darling, love, I didn’t exist before I meant you. I mean, I did, of course, I did, but I was just this strange, non-human, non-machine thing that was just… kind of… there. It was you that gave me an existence, Wanda. You made me human.”
    Both you and Wanda stared at him, surprised. Wanda stared because she obviously didn’t fully agree with his opinion of her. You stared because of course, you were dating two of the weirdest, coolest, most stellar, and most romantic people ever. 
    Get yourself a man like that, you thought. Then after a moment, Wait, that is in fact also my man. 
    “And you—” Vision said, turning his head in your direction.
    “Oh, I’m next?” you stammered. “I thought it was Wanda’s turn.”
    Vision still held Wanda but also reached over to tightly grasp your hand and bring it to his mouth. “I just wished we could have confessed to you sooner. I just hate, hate, hated lying to you and now you’re involved with all this too—”
    The synthezoid with the English accent looked up at you with eyes begging forgiveness as if he’d committed one of the worst sins imaginable. You let out a hoarse laugh and ran your thumb across the side of his hand.
    “I’m sorry,” you said, still chuckling as you wriggled closer to your couple, “but as much as you might like to think you’ve subjected me to something I didn’t sign up for, I’d like to point out that I’ve been about a month ahead of you. I was here before you.” You felt a nagging urge to look at Wanda and repeat the last sentence, and there was something extra special about saying it that second time like there was a double and then a triple meaning behind it, but the way you both furrowed your brows afterward made it clear that neither of you really knew what those meanings were.
    Not yet, anyway.
    You cleared your throat and removed your hand from Vision’s grasp to place it on the back of the couch. “I moved into this town with no husband or wife, no family, nothing but a pile of letters and a new deed to a new house that happened to be the smallest in the neighborhood. My first week here I told one man in front of the entire night watch that I thought the joke he made about his wife was distasteful, and then the week after I tripped and spilled wine all over his wife. Agnes brought because she thought I’d be a form of entertainment and we somehow ended up becoming friends over a flask that she hid in a pocket sewed into the inside of her skirt.” You offered a look to Wanda again while you mentioned that Agnes never thought your “for the children” jokes were all that funny, though. “I’ve dealt with the comments and the rumors and the ‘what’s wrong with them, they don’t have no kids!’ People are weird and they’re mean and they’re fun and they suck. You want human, dude? You got it. If I was still bothered by comments that are nothing but a bummer, I think I’d be trying a little bit more than wearing clothes that I enjoy over the clothes that are expected of me, telling Dotty she needs to stop being awful before she gets frown lines, or, you know, pining over two people—a married couple nonetheless—until I somehow seduced them with my staring at them from around corners and just generally horrible, awful attempts at eye contact.”
    The married couple in question chortled at that.
    You used your hand on the back of the couch to hoist yourself up on your knees so you towered over Vision just slightly.
    “Here’s the thing, sunshine,” you continued, “I’m not in your boat on this one, you dorks, you’re in mine. I was here first and I don’t give a fuck.”
    Wanda gave a sudden laugh. “What language.”
    “Has he not told you about the time I said ‘Fuck you’ to a plastic bird in my garden?” you asked. “Multiple times? His name is Bernard and he’s plotting to kill me, I swear.”
    Wanda’s troubled expression was split by a wobbly smile.
    You threw up your arms in the dramatic fashion that you knew the two people in front of you loved and hollered—then quickly quieted back down to not disturb Billy and Tommy in the other room—“All this for my rambling putz ass to say, who cares about what’s outside this house! You two, and your kids, and I are the only people that matter here. Here being the house, Westview, whatever! Everyone else? Nonexistent.
    “Also, just to clarify,” you paused to wave your arms around, gesturing at the entire house, “Love it here. Love this shit.”
    You suddenly caught Vision’s slacked jaw in your hand and gave him a peck on the cheek. “This face? Love it.” You moved to peck a spot of silver on his skull. “Love this too.” You pecked the gem on his forehead and swore it glowed brighter in response. “Love this.” You pecked one of his ear plates. “Love these goofy things.” You pecked the tip of his nose. “Love this and the fact that you have it even though you don’t technically even need to breathe. Oh, speaking of which!” 
You lifted one of his hands with one of your own and tapped on his red fingernails with your other. You caught a glimpse of his face now that yours wasn’t directly in front of it and noticed him trying to hold back a giddy smile—and failing—while he watched you from underneath red lashes; your whole body would have tried to twist itself in knots under that look if you weren’t too busy swearing to kiss those eyelids and lashes too, at another time. Instead, you pecked each fingertip of the hand you were holding. “Love these ‘useless to my design’ things too. You know what, just speaking of hands—” You dropped Vision’s hand, which made itself to your waist as you went to grab Wanda’s; you were vaguely aware that you were practically leaning into their laps at that point but that could be dealt with when you weren’t trying to make a point.
When you went to touch her, she let you hold her wrist but quickly squeezed her hand into firsts before you could hold it like you had with Vision’s. She was looking away.
    You pressed a kiss to her whitening knuckles. “Wanda.”
    She looked at you, her perfect face distorted by a deep sadness that almost shattered your heart on the spot. She tightened her first further. The deep emotion appeared to make her slip back into her natural Sokovian accent when she spoke again. “You don’t know the pain it’s caused.”
    “I’ve done my fair share,” you affirmed even though you weren’t quite sure why. Then you kissed her knuckles again. “And maybe I don’t, but I know what good it’s caused, that you have.”
    Her face twisted into an ugly grimace. She asked hoarsely, “Like what?”
    “The first time I saw your face, I wanted to go to space, grab the moon, shrink it down—so it looked like one of those cool little lava rocks, you know? But prettier—and get it put on a ring,” you offered, then kissed the back of her hand and whispered, “and that’s after I found out you were married to a very attractive man too…”
    Vision snorted. Wanda cracked the smallest of smiles.
    You whispered lower, “And I may or may not have even been interested in marriage before that…”
    That time Wanda rolled her eyes; you smiled and grabbed her other clenched hand to share the attention with. You continued, “You’re also so nice, like so nice. You are so kind and care about what people think so much, it’s almost buggy—and bordering on self-destructive but that’s not what we’re talking about— And I sort of get it now, you know, but wow, making your magic show worse for the sake of people’s sanity? Wouldn’t even be on my radar.”
    Another little smile.
    “I’d be like, ‘Who wants to see me turn this entire table into a rosebush! Dotty’s rosebush specifically; Dotty, I stole your rosebush.’ I actually did steal a rose from her bush that day.”
    Wanda blinked and you noticed the lines of her expression weren’t as deeply etched into her face anymore.
    “That was Dotty’s?”
    You grinned and nodded, then kissed both of her hands. “Also, I love your hair and the way it perfectly frames your perfect face, and I love your little nose scrunches, and I love your eyelashes and the way you look at me from under them sometimes, and I’d kiss all those things but I’m not going to because I gotta get these stubborn, always-working, never-wanna-take-a-break, always-somehow-perfect-nails-having hands to relax before they hurt themselves even though it’s very clearly hard enough to make who woman who owns them do the same. Oh, I did I mention that smile—hoo, Wanda, that foxy smile…”
    Wanda was blushing now and bringing up her smile made it happen again, just slightly. You took advantage of the moment anyway and flung yourself back onto the couch with a hand over your heart. “Be still, my pounding heart!”
    Vision, who was watching by your and Wanda’s sides, laughed a bit. Wanda herself rolled her eyes again; the smile didn’t disappear afterward.
    You sat up again and pointed at Vision, now that he’d brought attention to himself again. “And I don’t know whether you heard any of the stuff this guy said! You made him exist? You made him human? What? You two also do this thing where you just look at each other and have a whole conversation, I don’t know if you guys know you do that or not. You do, though, and I don’t know if either or both of you are psychic but if you are and still love me? With my unhinged brain? Migraines and all? I wouldn’t understand, even if you explained it to me.”
    Vision offered, “Neither of us is psychic but anyway, please continue.”
    “Have anything to add?”
    “You’re doing wonderfully.”
    “Thank you.” You looked back and Wanda, noting that her face had almost completely softened now, as she was too busy being flustered to be sad at this point. You quickly scooped her hands before they could curl into fists again placed kissed on each of the crescent moon-shaped marks now dug into their palms. “Your magic rocked your babies to sleep. Your magic cleaned up all their and put it all in one nice, neat place. You floated me around the house with your magic and even protected me from falling when I was wriggling around up there; bet that was fun for both of you to watch. Vision said earlier that that was your job, to protect me, and while I don’t fully agree because I consider it the other way around, is that not what you did?”
    “I thought it was cute,” Wanda replied softly to the second to last sentence you said. She watched as you gave her hands a few more pecks.
    “So, you agree then,” you said, “that your magic protected me and also made me cuter?”
    She laughed and the sound made your heart soared, performing an aerial performance in your chest. She tried to wriggle her hands free from you but then you scowled and tucked them protectively under your chin.
    “Gotta say it. Gotta say your magic made me cute.”
    “I’m not saying that.”
    You shrugged and got comfy, laying your head in her lap with her hands still hidden. “Have to. Otherwise, no hands for you. Oh, did I not mention how good you are to your kids yet? You’re so good—”
    “Okay, okay, okay,” Wanda forfeited through a wet laugh. Hearing said laugh, your head shot up in concern, but the woman was smiling as she snagged your hands back; what she chose to do with them next was grab your face and place a kiss directly on your mouth.
    It was quick and soft and sweet and absolutely none of that prevented the fireworks that went off in your skull and your chest and your stomach and your veins that made tingles shoot all the way down to your toes. She pulled away as quickly as she had moved in and you blinked; your brain was still short-circuiting, like a robot—like a Vision with his gears all gummed up, and your dazed brain thought that was a very funny connection, so it repeated the joke verbally.
    Luckily, Vision was close enough to the level of dork that you were and he laughed at it with you.
    It took a deep breath and a head shake to de-gum your brain—if only Wanda could magic that—but after the excitement wore off, you felt sleepiness start creeping in and decided to make your final push. You curled a hand around both of your partners’ necks and brought their faces closer to nuzzle your noses together; they responded by each of them wrapping an arm around your waist and returning the affectionate action.
    “So, in conclusion,” you stated, which caused Vision to laugh lightly and Wanda to grin just slightly, “I love both of these perfect faces.” You kissed each of their noses. “And these funky, magical brains.” You kissed Wanda at the base of her hairline, then Vision just below his forehead gem. “And these equally funky, magical hands.” You grabbed the hands not looped around your waist and kissed the back of them. “And both of those babies, and this house, and y—”
    You sucked in a sudden breath to stop yourself so hard that you almost choked and you reeled back to the other side of the couch only to drag Vision and Wanda with you. The three of you tumbled into a flustered heap on the couch and over their shoulders, you could see early morning light filtering through the windows. This barely registered, though, as you were too busy focusing on the fact that you almost L-worded them on a silly, tired whim. 
    Despite the awkwardness of the moment and the unspoken words, no one made a move to remove themselves from the warm, cozy entanglement. One of both Wanda and Vision’s arms was pinned under your back, keeping them solid in place against you while simultaneously and successfully enveloping you in between them; your own arms, which had instinctively wrapped protectively around their shoulders in the tumble, kept them in a similar state. Wanda’s hair fanned found and covered the three of you like a blanket, and you were keenly aware of her breath softly wafting over the exposed skin of your neck from where her head now rested on your shoulder. Vision’s rested slightly lower, on your chest, and you felt a quickened pulse where his gem pressed into your neck, but you couldn’t be sure whether it was yours or his. 
    You stared past their shoulders and watched as sunlight shone through the curtains and dappled the ceiling. You tried to figure out whether you were stupider for stopping yourself from finishing that sentence or for not saying it at all.
    Then you felt a kiss being pressed to your clothed shoulder.
    “You’ve said so many things that you’ve loved tonight [Y/N],” Wanda murmured, her hot breath causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. “What’s two more?”
    “I—” you started, then bit your tongue again. There was something about saying that phrase that made you worried; you felt like if you said it now, the happy little world you lived in would begin to crumble, like it would all end far too soon. You sighed softly and said instead, “I don’t know how I would live without you.”
    There were a few moments of silence where you watched more sunlight filter in and wished you could take it back because what a way to talk a big game and then not follow through—
    Then Vision’s head appeared above you and he pressed a dizziness-inducing kiss to your lips. When he pulled away, he nuzzled your nose with his own as he murmured, “I love you too.”
    In almost the same moment, Wanda was mumbling the same phrase against your jawline. 
    Sleepy and hazy-brained you couldn’t do much else but stare at Vision like a lovesick puppy that struggled to say that L-word, then snuggle back down with both him and Wanda when they relaxed against you again. That seemed to be the last of what needed to be said, though, because everything was cozy and warm and golden brown in your home again and, one by one, the three of you fell into a deep, comfortable sleep.
    In the black void of otherwise dreamless sleep, you heard the vaguely familiar First Voice finish chewing something and then go, “Aww…”
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tedturneriscrazy · 3 years
Text
Another Saturday, another episode! Let's take a look at Keeping Up A-fear-ances!
(Good lord I'm starting to make myself sound like some sort of content creator)
Oh, okay, we're just starting at that level of intensity, huh?
Chest gem origins
Gwendolyn not being satisfied with managing the curse and determined to cure it? I'm sure this won't be a real world allegory in the slightest.
Oh, so Eda literally just stumbles upon the portal? I could call that contrived, but honestly it's not dissimilar to how Dipper found Journal 3. For that matter, the entirety of Lord of the Rings is predicated on an accidental discovery like this and nobody gave Tolkien shit about it.
Was the eye on the portal cracked in previous episodes? I don't remember.
Seems like Gwen is the "well-meaning but ultimately misguided" flavor of mom.
As an aside, I am now quite curious about how Eda's first trip to the human realm went. Maybe a future episode will cover it? At any rate, I smell a new favorite fic prompt.
The screaming alarms in the Demon Realm will never not be funny to me.
Also, that is a worrying number of hearts. Eda is straight up murdering these poor creatures.
For some reason the gold fang being removable never occurred to me as a possibility, and now I feel like a kid who's discovered that Santa isn't real.
Oh hey, the new outfit! I'm also impressed how close to symmetrical that tearing was.
I need to get a screencap of Luz sleeping on that stack of books because she is adorable.
Also, staying up all night researching? This season seems determined to completely eradicate the notion of Luz being dumb, and I am here for it.
I have a feeling the Hexside mug will be making its way to The Mystery Shack in the near future.
Lilith's first experience with transformation and she seems understandably horrified.
The curse acting stronger when stressed? That seems...important.
Ah, so the dismemberment is from the curse! A surprisingly useful side effect from what we've seen so far.
Can I just say that I appreciate how Eda's reaction to Lilith's first taste of transformation is immediate remedy, explanation, and reassurance? And doesn't make any snarky comments along the lines of "now you know what it's like?" Whatever happened in that week and a half must have been cathartic as hell.
"Always. Always curious." Luz is the TOH fandom.
(Also, Eda, you know she is, considering how much she went on about your "mysterious past" at the Covention)
"Magic bird tornado?!" Luz has a way with words that's just *chef's kiss*.
"Gwendolyn." Eda is already just fucking done.
"MOM?!?!" Jeez, Lilith, you're just now hearing all this?
I was charmed by how motherly Gwen was acting toward Eda, but then she kinda just...dismissed Lilith, and now I'm somehwat less charmed.
(Sweet flea as a term of endearment is kinda cute, though might have some unfortunate implications depending on how you want to interpret it)
"Who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" OH WE GOING FOR THE ANTI-VAXXERS NOW YESSSS
Luz and Lilith's reaction to that whole exchange is priceless.
Everyone's perspective here makes perfect sense for who they are and what they've been through.
Poor Lilith. Her cursing Eda is beginning to make more sense.
Ah, thus begins the collaboration.
"We'll be consulting someone very special." Why does that seem so...ominous?
Is there anyone who watched this episode for the first time whose bullshit detector didn't go off immediately when Gwen mentioned finding someone who promised a cure?
Heh, Palm Stings.
Nonbelievers will be blinded by the power of the tome? I'm sure they will be, Wartlop.
I must say, as something of a scientist myself (okay that's not true, I'm a QA tech for a food manufacturer, but I do have a chemistry degree), I am 100% here for the swings being taken at faith healing/"miracle" cures/anti-vaxxers in this episode
Oh, we Wile E. Coyote now, huh?
Also, interesting how much apple blood is being played up in this episode.
Lilith please you're projecting your mommy issues on a literal child
OH WE REALLY JUST WILE E. COYOTE HUH?
You're right, Luz, Gwen's bicep game is goals.
(Somewhat disappointed the scars are from questing and not beastkeeping, but eh)
Why do I get the feeling there's gonna be a future episode where everybody stages an intervention for Eda's apple blood problem?
"Those feathers mean we're driving the beast out" Gwen no
Hooty is holding the brain cell? Oh no...
If that ice cream came from the Night Market it would explain why Lilith sounds drunk.
(Side note: I can't be the only one getting flashbacks to Mermista's ice cream binge, right? Different context, but still)
"Abomi-berry" "Franken fruit" "Key slime pie" These are A+ flavor names.
Oh, there's the transformation...
I must say that whole segment kinda rubbed me the wrong way. The way King's opinion on his dad was changed seemed...I don't know how to describe it. I get that they needed a trigger for Lilith's transformation, but honestly if any part of the episode is contrived it's this.
"¡It really is that good!" So that's what an accent slip in written form looks like. (The upside down exclamation point is used in Spanish, in case anyone didn't know)
I keep half expecting Eda to say "Beep! Beep!" at this point.
Luz is finally asking questions. Took long enough.
Ah, the classic "moving the goal posts to extract more money from a desparate family member" technique.
Luz channeling Scorpion, we love to see it.
There is an exquisite irony in Eda's mom being scammed, I must say.
Ah, so that's where the elixirs went. Dammit, Gwen.
Luz is definitely thinking "Are you fucking kidding me right now?!"
Beast!Lilith is massive.
"Sweet flea?" Gwen just realized she done goofed.
"I can see you still need a little time." God Luz is so fucking smart.
The con revealed.
OH DAMN SCARY MAMA
(Also I am terrified of bees/wasps, so extra scary mama in my book)
The scam is revealed, goblins, getting back into the Wartlop disguise is kinda pointless.
She joined the Beast Keeping coven entirely to cure the curse? That's dedication. A shame you couldn't have spared some of that for Lilith.
Still, I do like badass scary mama Gwen. I'd be down to see more of that.
Owl Beast fight!
I am slayed by the fact that the portraits are now officially a recurring gag 😂
Aw, here's The Moment™️
"My turn to drive" Does this imply cars are a thing on the Boiling Isles after all?
Lilith crying almost immediately💔 She was holding onto a lot of pain.
Yes, King, she was trying to do her best. I mean, road to hell or whatever, but at least Gwen got there in the end.
WHAT?! YOU'RE BREAKING UP LULU AND HOOTCIFER?!?!?!?
Terrace, that's just cruel. (Worthless brownie points for whoever understands that reference)
No, seriously, you can't just give me my favorite inter-character relationship in the series after Lumity and just...take it away like that, come on! 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I know I should remark on how Lilith told Gwen about the circumstances of the curse, how Gwen rightfully accepted responsibility for the whole situation, and how Luz finds the big hair aspirational, but...NOOOO DON'T END THE ADVENTURES OF LULU AND HOOTCIFER WHYYYYYYYYY💔😭💔😭💔😭
"BUT I CAN'T HOLD A PEN!"
I will never emotionally recover from this.
Okay, I think I got that out of my system. Anyway...
Not the only human, huh? Cue the "Belos is a human" theorists going into maximum overdrive.
That said, a tantalizing lore dump.
We certainly do have a lot of garbage. Some of it even holds office. HEY-O!
Setting up the next episode, too. Continuity!
Camp's over, huh? That means it's been three months.
Way to misdirect with Camila, guys. That said, we have now seen Camila cry and I HATE it. (In the right way, I think)
WHAT THE FUCK
HOLY SHIT
CREEPY LUZ IS REAL WHAT
OWJEIWHQGIWWOPQ
(It's hard to keysmash on a phone, even with autocorrect off)
That wraps it up! The flaws in this episode seem more pronounced than any others in the season so far, but the good stuff was really good! Overall a solid episode! I know everybody's looking forward to library Lumity in the next one (so am I), but I'm personally eager to see what they do with Gus. His part is the A plot, after all.
Anyway, I'll be back at this next week! Still hard to believe this is a thing, but that's life, I guess.
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bonjour-rainycity · 3 years
Text
Double Heart | Chapter Fourteen ~ Haldir
|previous part|
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1754
Warnings: TW -- mentions of illness
**Read on Ao3 under the user “bonjour_rainycity” if you prefer!**
A/n Can I just say, that I TRULY believe I have some of the best readers in the entire world? Each of you is so kind, so encouraging, and you take time out of your day to read this story!! Thank you, each and every one of you, so, so much! 
Immediately after leaving Cosima’s room, I seek out Baranor. I don’t want to leave her alone and must find a task to calm my mind. Though Cosima sounded sure of her ailment being non-severe, humans are so fragile. What if she were to sway like she did earlier but didn’t have me there to catch her? She could fall to the stone floor and crack her head open.
I freeze. Should I go back?
No. I stop myself. She said she would be fine, I have to respect that. Besides, I sigh, focusing on the bigger picture. I can check on her tomorrow. In the meantime, Baranor might have insight.
It’s still early, only five o’clock or so, and Baranor is exactly where I expect him to be — the healing wards. Like me, his is not prone to taking an extended period without work.
He sees me coming and greets me with a smile, passing along a small jar to another healer clothed in a robe of pale green. “We’re attempting to develop a new salve for burns,” he explains. “What brings you to the healing wards?”
I sigh, suddenly feeling exhausted under the stress of the last twenty minutes. So much could have gone wrong. “Cosima.”
Baranor’s brow furrows in concern and he directs me to what looks to be an extra office loaned to him — it’s already covered in his belongings and notes. He sits in the oversized chair behind the desk, clasping his hands in front of him. “What happened?”
I practically sink into the chair across from him. “We agreed to meet this evening in her room so I could begin to teach her self-defense. She seemed fine when I arrived — her usual personality, bright eyes, didn’t seem tired. One second she was laughing, and the next, gasping in pain. I-I mean, Baranor, you should have seen it.” I gulp at the memory, reliving the moment Cosima’s condition shifted. “All the life left her face and she swayed like she was going to faint. I caught her and sat her on the couch but she pitched forward and nearly vomited. She said she had a headache. When the sickness and pain faded enough for her to open her eyes, she looked absolutely exhausted. She said she wants to rest so I left her room and came straight here.”
Baranor nods, looking calm. “How long did the episode last?”
I concentrate on the memory, though everything in me wants to shy away. “Maybe three minutes?”
Baranor dips his head as if expecting this. “Humans are much more fragile than elves—you know this. If they do not sleep enough or get proper nutrients, they can become susceptible to headaches and mild sicknesses — even stress can have that effect on them. Sometimes headaches can be severe, in which case they are called migraines and usually come with nausea, dizziness, and more intense pain.”
My eyes widen. That’s terrifying. Such normal things that wouldn’t do much to an elf — stress, inadequate sleep, water, food — can incapacitate a human. How much more vulnerable to serious circumstances they must be — injury, for instance.
But Baranor only looks infuriatingly serene. I have to remind myself that he encounters things like this every day, even if he does typically treat ellyn. Mild fluctuations in health do not alarm him because he knows how they are likely to turn out and how to threat a patient if their health declines further.
“I will check on her in the morning after she’s had time to rest, but do not worry, mellon nîn. This is just something that happens to humans from time to time.”
I take a deep breath, leaning against the back of the chair. “Alright. Thank you. I’m sorry to burst in on your work.”
He waves off my apology. But, after a pause, he grimaces.
My stomach sinks. “What?”
He speaks much too slowly for my liking. “I do not want to alarm you, but there’s a chance Elrond might mention something to you or your brothers, and I’d rather you hear it from me so you are not caught off guard.”
I feel my eyes widening and attempt to reign in my expression. “What, Baranor?”
He sighs. “When we first encountered Cosima, she was as good as dead. Her fæ was so far gone, I had to expend serious energy calling her back. I…I had hoped that because she had actually made the choice to wake up that she would acclimate well—make a full recovery. When I dealt with her arm after the attack, I again used the power in my fæ to heal her. I noticed that there is still something…‘off’ in her own fæ.”
I feel my jaw lock. A roaring rushes through my ears. “Off?”
“Yes,” Baranor nods steadily. “Alex’s is the same way. Both the human spirits seem…torn, almost, or wounded. Like I said, ‘off’. I spoke to Elrond and he has agreed to work with them both. He believes their memory loss could related to the injuries in their fæs and, as we heal their memories, their fæs will repair themselves. Our working theory is that the memory loss is so severe it has caused the fæ to forget, almost like the memories were violently cut out of it. I do not know what that means but I think it likely originated when they arrived in this world, possibly before when they somehow transferred from their world to ours — it’s logical to think that had some impact on their fæs.”
I exhale slowly, taking all this information in.
It is alarming, to say the least.
A fæ should not be damaged…it could cause an elf to fade.
But humans are different, I reason. The health of their spirits isn’t tied to their longevity. Well — I have to correct myself. Maybe it is and humans just don’t live long enough to know for sure. I try to turn my focus back to Baranor — these worrisome thoughts are not helpful. “Do you believe this poses a threat to them?”
Baranor grimaces. “I cannot say for sure, but my instinct is that it’s not as long as they receive proper care — almost a physical therapy of sort, but for their fæs. Again, I would not have bothered you with this if I didn’t think Elrond might bring it up.”
I set him with a stern look. “Any information about the health of those in my care is of concern to me. I ask that you keep me updated.”
He bows his head. “Of course.”
I stand, feeling like I need sleep but knowing my mind is racing too much to do so. I say farewell to my friend and catch an attendant on the way to my room, requesting that dinner be sent to my chambers. I don’t feel like eating in the company of the hall. Part of me wonders if I should have the attendant take food to Cosima, just in case she’s decided she’s hungry, but I remind myself that she is perfectly capable of requesting her own dinner. If she wishes to eat, she can arrange it.
That doesn’t stop me from tucking away a banana and some bread just in case she hasn’t eaten by the time I visit her tomorrow. Proper nutrients, enough rest, sufficient hydration, and low stress.
Right as I cut into dinner, Rumil swaggers in with a plate of his own. He snorts, joining me at the small table. “Great minds, huh?” He leans towards me, furrowing his brow and studying me more intently. “Are you alright? You look pale.”
I roll my eyes, trying to cover my anxiety. “I’m always pale.”
Rumil huffs. “Come on, what’s bothering you?”
I sigh. Rumil is probably going to hear it from Elrond or Baranor anyway, so I may as well tell him. I start from the beginning. “I visited Cosima this evening.” Rumil sits back in his chair, a strange look in his eye. Could he already know? How? “I meant to teach her to defend herself, but not long after I arrived, she—she just got sick. Within a moment’s difference, she was nearly collapsed on the floor.” I shake my head against the memories but dutifully recount the full story to my brother, including Baranor’s observations and theory.
By the end, Rumil slumps in his seat, staring over my shoulder with a distant look in his eye. He’s silent for a long time.
“Haldir I…I owe you an apology. Cosima, too, though I don’t think she’d understand why.”
I furrow my eyebrows. What could he be sorry for?
“I’ve been teasing you both lately and have been encouraging your feelings for each other. It was wrong of me — I didn’t consider her mortality and what pursing a relationship with her would mean. I won’t do it anymore, I promise. Can you forgive me?”
I blink. What? “I don’t have feelings for her.”
Rumil sets me with a dubious look. “I’m your brother, you can be honest with me.”
“I don’t have feelings for her,” I repeat, more forcefully this time. Rumil’s being ridiculous. And the youngest of my brothers — his age is showing.
He huffs, looking to the ceiling as if to request strength from the Valar. “Are you really so unaware of yourself? Of her?” At my look of annoyance, he groans, seeming like he wants to push it. I set my shoulders, making it clear that we will be discussing this no further.
Finally, Rumil shakes his head, turning his gaze to his meal. “Fine, I am sorry, I can see I’ve overstepped my bounds. Forget it.”
I return to my food, watching my brother warily. His shoulders sag and he looks almost…scared. His distress is apparent, even if his accusations are baseless. He brings his eyes back to mine and the grief there causes me to freeze. What is going on with my brother?
“But Haldir…Be careful. She will be dead long before this age is done, and that is if she chooses to stay in this world.”
My fork falls to my plate.
A hollow, aching feeling makes my chest feel tight.
I don’t even know what to say to that.
Rumil stands and places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing briefly. Then, he makes for the exit. “I will leave you to your thoughts.”
And then he closes the door behind him and I am indeed alone with these terrifying thoughts.
A/n This one is shorter than the others I’ve posted, but I feel like it’s kinda dense and it was a good place to leave off. Thanks for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs make my day! Also, if you have any thoughts/theories, I would love to know those! @eru-vande sent me one the other day and it was really fun!
|next part|
|masterlist|
Tolkien tag list: @anangelwhodidntfall @eru-vande
Haldir tag list: @tolkien-apologist
Double Heart tag list: @lainphotography @themerriweathermage @thophil2941btw @kenobiguacamole @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @from-patroclus-with-love @boywivlove @ordinarymom1 @my-darling-haldir @sweet-bea-blossom @moony-artnstuff
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Note
Pspsps Kait
Ray, pulling you close to him with a smile on his lips, his eyes dangerous and yet so intoxicated with the sight of you, his precious tester, his sweet, lovely doll...
You won't have to worry about a thing, he'll keep you safe.
This is paradise, after all~
[Guess I'm writing more]
The only thing that was on her mind was how staring at these screens all at once gave her whiplash. There was so much winding information coming across each and every one of them and it was hard to focus on just one.
She had no idea how she did it.
Then again, it wasn't like he had a choice. He had to do it. There was no stopping in the middle of something. He just had to accept it. She still felt as though she was in a daze, and her mind was cloudy. It was like she was in a dream that wouldn't stop. As if the world wasn't real. As if everything around her hadn't ever been real.
As if no amount of trying to figure out where she was, was going to give her the answer. In fact, was she dreaming? Kaitlyn couldn't say for sure. Who was to say that she wasn't trapped in her mind again?
Who was to say that she hadn't finally lost herself to the animated fantasy that she always put herself into? Every time that she tried to say something it felt like the words were just cotton in her mouth. It was an incredibly uncomfortable sensation and she didn't like it.
That was what made her pause.
That was just the thing, though, if it was some kind of a daydream or just a dream, then she wouldn't be feeling any kind of discomfort in her body. She never imagined pain like that.
Her fantasy had always been an escape from reality and she couldn't figure out why she would imagine such uncomfortable feelings.
It just didn't make any sense. It was always possible that she was dreaming and the pain was happening outside of the dream.
It wouldn't have been the first time that she had a flair. So, it kind of made sense if she thought about it like that. But this did not change the fact that there was some worse pain than the feeling of a dry mouth. Her head felt like it was splitting into pieces.
She had migraines so that wasn't weird but this was different. This was a kind of pain that she had never felt before. It was like it was on fire and drenched at the same time. She would have described it as the feeling of oil on fire on top of the water.
It was like she wanted to wipe it away but no amount of trying to do it would make it better. It would just cling to her skin and stick to her. It made her feel the flames and the weight of the oil. If she struggled against it it would just make her sink into the ocean.
She wanted to curl up and make the pain go away. It was hard to sit up straight. She wasn't sure how she was doing it. Every time she got close to making sense of what she was feeling, she would lose her train of thought as she stared at the monitors.
The bright colors and numbers flashing against the screens did nothing but make her forget everything that she was doing. It was like she was on the cusp of understanding what was wrong, but she was too busy being locked in her own body.
Yes, that's what she would call it.
It was like she was inside her body but she was also on autopilot.
It was like she wasn't in control at all. But that expanded the real question she had, if she wasn't in control of herself, then who was? She just sat there in front of the flashing lights, unable to remember how she got there and why she was there.
What had she been doing?
Writing…?
That didn't sound right though… she didn't write at a desk when she worked… she didn't even have a desk. She didn't own many monitors, either.
"You've been a good princess. I was afraid you might be anxious I left you for too long," a pair of gloved hands pressed against either side of her shoulder and she blinked once, the masculine voice coming as a surprise to her… it sounded familiar… It sounded so pretty. "Thanks for waiting so patiently."
Did she know him?
She felt like she knew who he was. But, his name wasn't coming to mind. She wasn't even sure of her own name at that point. It was all a cloudy feeling.
She opened her mouth to say anything, something, but a dry feeling happened. She let a grimace overtake her features and looked down from the screens. She couldn't talk to him.
It hurt.
It hurt!
It hurt so much she didn’t know what to do.
"It hurts, right? I'm sorry… I'm sorry to cause you discomfort. Don't worry, this is a pain that won't last. It's okay if you're a little upset… but I'm here for you. I'm so happy that you're healing properly, to be honest with you. You must feel like you're floating, huh?" His voice continued to say more, this time closer to her right side as his breath tickled her cheek.
The stranger’s arms came to rest around her shoulders. She looked back at him to see eyes that seemed to glow in the reflection of the monitors. She knew those eyes, they sparkled like emeralds, and it made her feel warm for some reason.
She knew him.
She knew him, he was—
Her brown eyes widened and this dreamy smile appeared on her face as she seemed to finally remember who he was and why his voice felt so familiar. She didn't know why she was here with him, or how it'd be even possible for her to be with him. But, he was right in front of her and nothing else mattered.
"It's you, Ray."
Ray?
Oh, right... she liked Ray... but, how was Ray real? It must have been a dream, she reasoned, she must've been having a bad episode of pain and she was dreaming. That's why it hurt... that's why it felt so floaty and disjointed... that's why she thought everything felt weird.
She's just dreaming, she thinks.
If it really is a dream... she has nothing to worry about, after all, she'll wake up eventually and he'll be gone but her heart will still be tickled by the feeling of his hands around her like this. She still feels off, but Ray is here, that's all she needs.
"That's right, it's me," his voice speaks again as she's fascinated by his eyes too much to look away. "I know you've been hurting... but, may I be selfish for a moment? Can I ask you to do a few things for me, princess?"
She smiled, that dreamy feeling still clouded over her mind but her desire to make him happy was stronger, so, she nodded as her eyes closed once more to ease the throbbing. "Of course, I can, Ray... I'd do... anything you want if you asked."
She would miss the way that Ray's smirk widened, emboldened by her words. "I'm so honored. Thank you, thank you very much. I'd love to ask you about... the RFA. Do you think you can tell me everything you know about them? It would help me so much to hear you talk about... your... friends."
Oh?
Was she daydreaming about playing his route?
"Hahahahaha..." a giggle escaped her lips as she looked back at him, as if surprised by his question, she said, "Ray, you're my favorite, you don't need to be jealous of the RFA. I like you more than them... you don't need to worry."
His hand cupped her cheek to make sure that she was looking back at him directly. "I know, I know... I'm so lucky I have an angel like you in my life. But, I really want to know what makes you like them less than me, princess. What about their... characters... make you like me more?"
"Don't get me started," she lifted her hand to brush against his but she missed entirely, fingers coming to rest against his sleeve as she felt the dark fabric against her palms. "I don't think I'd shut up about it if I got started... I don't want to bore you... I couldn't even talk to you like I talk to myself... even if this is my dream... even if you're just my fantasy... you wouldn't wanna..."
Silence overtook the room as he leaned in, brushing his lips against her own with a small nudge. It was a little clumsy but Ray made up for that fact with his confidence. "I want to hear everything you have to say, princess. Tell me about all of it. Tell me all of their dirty little secrets. I'll never stop listening."
She smiled, feeling his sincerity. "Well, for starters..."
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ironmandeficiency · 3 years
Text
falcon, falcon, goose!
pairing: sam wilson / reader
word count: 3547
summary: there were reports of geese leading people to their soulmates spanning centuries, and it seemed like a cool concept, but why did it have to coincide with you coming out of your writing slump?
warnings: cursing, geese, dumbassery, implied happy au where the avengers get along, iw and endgame who?
a/n: this is an older piece i wrote a couple years ago, decided to brush it up and repost it. and the reader works for snl bc why the hell not? keep in mind that the original was written before everything went to shit w iw & endgame. posted from mobile yet again yall what is wrong w me
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it was a sunny day outside, and deciding that you had been cooped up for far too long, you brought your laptop to the park a couple blocks from your studio apartment.
being a writer for saturday night live wasn't always so peachy, what with the lack of a social life outside of your co-workers and constantly explaining your job to confused relatives. you had been in a slump for the past couple weeks, the fact most of your sketch ideas not making the cut for the next episode continuing to throw you off your rhythm.
this week, you were going to change that. Your headphones were playing your concentration playlist full volume and you were hyped to the max. with your laptop on the picnic table in front of you and a warm cup of tea beside it, you were ready to blow the producers away with your next idea.
"honk! honk!"
you felt something nudge your leg, but you were too engrossed into what you were typing to care. after getting through a few more lines, it happened again.
"honk! honk! honk!"
you couldn't hear the sound but the feeling on your leg got a little bit rougher, more demanding. you moved your headphones to the side for a minute and took a moment to look around you. there was no kid running to get their ball back or any squirrels nearby that dropped a nut.
strange.
but you put your headphones back on, trying to keep your groove alive while hoping the interruptions are finished.
"HONK! HONK! HONK!" the goose honked louder, pecking at your leg harder than it had earlier.
you were getting frustrated and a little pissed. the creativity was flowing through your veins for the first time in what felt like ages and this — whatever it was — decided that today was the best day to annoy you.
you kicked your legs out with a strange flail and when you came into contact with something large and solid you nearly screamed.
"ow! motherf- oh my god!"
standing on the ground beside your table was a goose. it honked yet again with impatience (geese could do that?) and nipped lightly at your thigh closest to it. looking to the pond nearby, it was nearly an entire gaggle of the damned things.
so here was this goose honking at you and nipping at you like you were supposed to know what the hell it wanted from you.
"i don't have any bread, dumbass. go find someone else to bother." thinking it would leave if you ignored it, you turned away and continued your work.
"HONK! HONK!" it continued to honk and decided to peck you before flapping its wings, landing itself on the table next to your computer.
"get outta here, ya damn goose!" while you were trying to shop it away, it expertly evaded you. "go! shoo! leave me alone!"
it just stayed over on the bench, expertly dodging your attempts to get it to leave.
a few people nearby had heard your altercation with the infernal bird. one of them was an older gentleman that laughed as he sat across from you, the mirth in his eyes glinting as you give him a sarcastic side eye while trying to deal with the current issue.
"that bird won't leave you alone, you know." At his voice, the goose calmed down and waddled a few feet away from your arm's reach.
that was the first time the thing had been seemingly calm since he showed up at your little table.
"what do you mean he won't leave me alone?"
he pauses, part of him enjoying the irritation in your tone. he remembers someone talking to him like he was to you many years ago, and it made his heart smile at the idea of repaying the favor. "have you ever read about soulmate geese?"
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"hey we're gonna go for a run, wanna join?" steve’s offer was given with a smirk. ever since reuniting with bucky, the two supersoldiers found so much humor in doing laps around sam every time they went out jogging.
it annoyed the shit out of him, the "on your left" comments from steve and the newer "on your right" jabs from bucky, but it also pushed Sam to work harder during his runs. ultimately he knew his non-enhanced body didn't stand much of a chance beating them, but he enjoyed when he was able to close the gap between their times just a little bit.
"sure, just gimme a few to eat breakfast and I'll join you guys." the blond nodded and turned back to the elevator, having woken up far earlier than sam and therefore already ate.
he hummed otis redding as he laid the bacon flat into the pan, shoulders moving along with his created rhythm while changing the grounds in the coffee filter. this was how he spent most of his mornings, barring the occasional hangovers and missions where he couldn't afford the distraction.
he ate, got dressed, and told FRIDAY to let bucky and steve know he was ready to go. h had his water bottle in hand, giving his body a pep talk in preparation for the run. they met in the common room and soon, the trio was off.
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"on your left!"
"on your right!"
"oh, come on!"
he knew it was gonna happen, but for some reason it felt like it happened sooner than normal. either they were trying really hard to mess with him today, or he was off his game. but regardless, he pushed his body harder than he probably should have because when there was something obstructing his path, he didn't pause. no, he charged it straight on through and fell hard.
steve and bucky had seen this from a distance and immediately rushed to get to their friend.
sam rolled onto his back, exhausted and now in terrible pain from the fall. he closed his eyes and just let it all sink in. when he opened his eyes at the sudden foul smell flooding his nostrils, he could feel the palpitations, thinking he was about to have a heart attack.
"holy shit!" sam sat up like a rocket despite the way his body was throbbing from the fall.
the goose stared at him curiously and turned its head toward the pounding footsteps from the approaching brooklynites.
"sam! What happened?" steve was concerned, inspecting sam while bucky noticed the bird. The brunet bent down to meet the goose eye-level and was somewhat surprised that it didn't run away at the close proximity.
"did you trip the dumbass? was it your fault sam landed on his face? Huh, little guy?"
"honk! honk!"
"i thought so. good job, man." bucky pats the animal on the head gently before turning to help steve get sam off the ground.
"nothing’s broken but there's probably a sprain, can't really be sure until we get to cho." sam and bucky lift their friend from the pavement and they have no problem supporting his weight.
they began the walk back to the tower in silence. well, almost silence. there was a faint pitter-patter of tiny, webbed feet behind them that sam and bucky weren't paying attention to.
steve noticed the goose slowly waddling behind the trio and looked at sam with a smile. sam responded to steve’s happy face with a glare, not enjoying any of the situation he found himself in.
"look behind us, guys."
both men took turns looking behind them and see the goose waddling behind them patiently. sam wasn't particularly happy about the culprit from moments before trailing behind him, but bucky thought it was hilarious.
"do you know what this means?"
sam rolled his eyes because he thought the blond was about to make some sort of poetic comment about one thing for another.
bucky had paused to think about the implications of a random goose for a moment before gasping. "dude," bucky nudged sam softly, being conscious of his friend's injuries. "you’re gonna meet your soulmate, man!"
"a soulmate goose. man come on, are you out of your mind?"
"steve got his goose back during the war, i think we know enough about it."
sam had only heard vague reports of soulmate geese throughout his life, but now that he thought about it, it did make sense. the goose showed up randomly in the middle of his routine, completely throwing him off, and was now refusing to leave him alone.
"well if this is my soulmate goose, then somebody’s gotta tell tony about our newest avenger." they laughed at the implication, viciously eager to witness tony’s reaction to the newest resident of avengers hq.
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it has been three days of dealing with your goose, and you were now teased at work as “bird brain”, walking into your office to see several loaves of bread covering the desk. your goose, that you had named piper once you got home, was excited at the prospect of more food, but you planned on donating most of the bread to local shelters, only keeping a couple loaves for the house.
the guest host that week was mick jagger, and he had emerged into the room “i dream of jeanie” style, startling both you and piper, who honked at him in irritation.
it was time for you to work on the song for your little sketch with him, and you had only two more days before performance night (it was thursday) to finish writing it. after settling down and getting into the right mindset, the writing process had begun.
"alright let's see," mick murmured. "let’s all go to the picnic, let's all have a drink. what rhymes with 'drink'?"
you thought for a moment and said quietly, "think?"
you weren't prepared for the absurd response you received from the man, his accent making him round mean as he barked out a loud "NO!" with an unnecessary hand gesture.
piper just about lost it. she was honking and flapping around your office in a tizzy (but staying away from mick because the man was seen as a stranger she wasn't comfortable with).
you racked your brain for another solution, something else to rhyme with 'drink' and you eventually found it: "sink?"
mick thought about it for a moment before replying with a much lighter "yes!" also paired with unwarranted pointing.
‘motherfucker, is this how you write songs?!'
thursday and friday came and went, and soon it was time for your piece to be performed by mick. du to an accidental ankle twist someone else suffered, you were forced to perform a skit live for the first time in your career. it would have been great, but there was one teensy problem: piper blatantly refused to leave your side when it was time to perform, and she would honk and bite anyone that tried to keep her from you onstage.
even poor bobby, who she had grown fond of, was taking the brunt of it. she was not allowing you to be more than a couple feet away from her, and it was almost endearing if you weren't being broadcast on national television.
apparently, piper would also be making her debut appearance on saturday night live tonight as well.
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saturday had arrived, and it was sam’s day of rest. he spent the day doing the bare minimum, eating junk food and watching almost everything on netflix he could find.
he didn't stray too far from tradition, not really. it was just that now he had a goose accompanying him the entire time, honking at this and that and eating occasional pieces of popcorn that sam didn't want to share.
he didn't mind his feathered companion, he was actually quite fond of his goose at this point. whitewing (not to be confused with redwing) was the most calm goose any of them had seen, no biting or nipping and especially no honking at ungodly hours of the night.
steve was perplexed. "Are you sure whitewing hasn't done anything bad? no waking you up at night or bites when you don't feed him soon enough?"
sam would chuckle and shake his head, proud to have such a calm goose. "why are you so keen to see him misbehave? aren’t all soulmate geese like this?"
"for lack of a better word, most geese are assholes. i don't know how whitewing is so well behaved," steve balked at the very idea of all geese being so mellow and decided it was story time.
steve’s goose from the century before was the most rambunctious animal anyone had ever seen. he recounted the first and several occasions following where his soulmate goose, jimmy, fended off the blond man's alleyway attackers.
sam was extremely grateful that whitewing had less feral and goose-like tendencies. whitewing was extremely well behaved and had an almost human way about him, the way he honked in reply to sam or the rest of the team when they talked to him.
it was late in the evening when clint decided to plop down onto the couch and flick the channel to nbc, where tonight's host was mick jagger.
"why are we watching this?" sam was enjoying his sitcoms before the other bird man had showed up.
"i haven't watched it in ages, plus mick jagger is on tonight."
"alright, whatever you want."
the intro played like usual, and whitewing was perfectly complacent. they laughed in the right places with the occasional honking from the bird, and everything was great.
"hey man, look!" clint interrupted, keeping sam from being able to hear the punchline. "i think that's a goose!"
"why is there a goose? The skit has nothing to with-"
sam and clint seemed to come to the same realization at the same time as whitewing, the goose beginning to honk incessantly. he was going absolutely berserk, flapping his wings and hopping off of sam’s lap and onto the coffee table, occasionally pecking at the tv where he saw the other goose.
he was going absolutely bonkers.
"whitewing! whitewing, no! calm down!" sam scrambled to calm down his goose, but he was having none of it. the whole entire skit, whitewing was honking and flapping and being a general nuisance.
he found his soulmate.
whitewing kept at it until the screen went to a commercial, his soulmate off of the screen.
"y’know," clint spoke around a slice of pizza. when did he get pizza? "if you hurry, you could go to the studio and meet your soulmate. the show is about halfway over."
before sam could think over the proposition, tony’s voice was heard from the corridor. "somebody shut that damned bird up before I pay ramsay to cook it!"
"i’m taking care of it!"
with that, sam heads to the armory with whitewing on his tail to get his wings. once he's equipped, sam heads to the window and jumps, immediately setting his course for studio 8h and his soulmate.
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you’re released to go back to your office once you finish the skit alongside mick and piper, the show almost over. you’re gathering your things lazily, knowing that you have no other responsibilities for the night.
just as you lock your office and piper is waddling beside you without a care in the world, you see kyle running towards you with a look of fear in his eyes. that fear seems to only triple when his eyes land on piper beside you.
"kyle! what’s-"
"there’s another goose on the set! no one is safe!"
wait, was he bleeding?!
you were going to try and help your friend but one look at piper sent him off the rails, the lanky man nearly falling on his ass in an attempt to skid the corner. you hoped that someone would help calm your panicked friend, seeing as you were literally the worst person for the job at the moment.
without further incident, you are able to say goodbye to cecily and mikey before you're stopped in your tracks by michael, who gives piper a funny look.
"wait, so the goose that attacked kyle wasn't piper?" You shake your head in confusion. "dude, your soulmate must have come to the set!"
piper must have either understood what your co-worker had said or she could sense a change in the studio, but she began to honk erratically and run away from you. the last thing new york needed was two feral geese running around attacking people, so you did what anyone would do and ran after her.
"piper! piper, come back!" michael laughed as you chased after your goose. while you were running, you nearly died when you heard a honk that you knew wasn't from your piper. hers were carved into your brain, and you were positive that you could pick hers out of an entire gaggle of geese, so there was indeed a second goose in the studio.
to your dismay, piper did not stop and wait, she just kept on honking and flapping and scaring people in pursuit of the other goose, poor old you having to chase her.
there was another voice you assumed was yelling at his goose since you didn't know of anyone naming their kid whitewing. your eyes were not looking straight ahead when you suddenly bumped into someone, immediately stumbling a bit before regaining your balance.
piper had stopped her honking and that scared you. did someone hurt her? was she-
her and another goose were making muted honks to each other. they sounded like affectionate honks, which is one of the weirdest sentences you ever constructed in your head. but it was true! they were cuddling close to each other and making really quiet honking noises at each other, and if that wasn’t affectionate then you didn’t know what would be.
so if piper found her soulmate, that means yours was-
"i hope comin' to your job was okay. whitewing wasn't gonna give up until I left, so here we are." your eyes were dragged from the touching scene of piper and her special goose to a pair of dark brown irises that radiated warmth and a promise of happy days.
you were absolutely dumbstruck. your mouth was unable to form coherent words, so you decided to take in the appearance of your soulmate. he was wearing a soft grey tee and sweatpants, and socks without shoes. did he realize how unsanitary the streets of new york were?
but upon further investigation, you realize that he probably didn't walk to the studio. on his back was what you would normally call a jetpack, but when you recognize the face your mind completes the puzzle: your soulmate is sam wilson, otherwise known as the falcon. holy shit.
"uh yeah of course, i guess you flew here? no sane person in new york would walk around barefoot in the street." did you really just say that?!
sam nodded and then remembered that he was in his pajamas in front of his soulmate without any shoes. "yeah, he wasn't gonna stop attacking the tv once he saw uh…"
you realized he was asking for your goose’s name, and so you hastily gave it to him.
"yeah, once he saw piper, he went wild. caused more chaos in five minutes than he did in five days!"
you laugh, the nervousness falling away as you recount the story of you first meeting with piper.
people are staring at the pajama-clad avenger and his soulmate, their geese finally satisfied. after all, it wasn't every day so many people were able to watch soulmate geese (and their people) meet for the first time.
sam gently took your hand, his thumb smoothing the skin on the back of it, just listening to you talk. you asked him a question about whitewing and he was in the middle of telling you when he cut himself off. "i just realized i don't even know your name!"
in most scenarios you’d be slightly put off by this, but you didn't have an issue because of the specific circumstances. if he weren't an avenger you wouldn't have known his either, and plus, no one really pays attention to the little rat writers. you give him your name and smile when he introduces himself, his voice even helping show off the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.
with impeccable goose timing, piper and whitewing honk at you to hurry your introductions and leave the studio.
"do you want to fly back to your place , or can I drive you?" it was a risk to ask him such a question, but you were genuinely concerned. you hoped he wouldn't think you were trying to jump his bones only minutes after meeting him so you used (terrible) humor to show your intentions. "you shouldn't fly so late at night without headlights, no matter how high up you get."
sam’s laughter was infectious and soon you joined him, your geese about to get more irritated with their humans.
"yeah, I'd like that. lead the way, soulmate." piper and whitewing honk as the two of you head to the lobby hand in hand, the birds waddling behind you just as happy as soulmate geese could be.
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toujoursmiraculous · 3 years
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Thoughts and Reaction to SENTIBUBBLER
For the past month, every day my sister greeted me with "Sentibubbler!" Sometimes multiple times a day. So this episode was a very anticipated one. The trailer spoiled that the opening scene was a dream, so I wasn't expecting to be surprised or anything like that. HAHA BOY WAS I WRONG But first, this dream points out several things she's worried about and she's going to have to address because they're seriously stressing her out. Likely in the order of occurrence in the episode is how we'll see it addressed. (In chronological order because let's be real, broadcasting companies don't seem to care much about what episodes we get when, so we'll likely see them happen out of this order) - Alya and Trixx being able to keep the secret and be trustworthy. (Which seems to be taken care of in this episode) - Nino finding out she's Ladybug. Nino's close with Alya, so tbh it's probably just a matter of time before he finds out on his own, or they break down and decide to tell him. - Chloe's issue with the Miraculous and Ladybug's rule that has only applied to Chloe so far. - And Chat Blanc. It seems Chat Blanc becoming akumatized again is a bigger fear to her than all the rest, based on her reaction, being horrified and backing up to the point she knocks stuff off the table. It also shows that she's thinking about how her and Chat Noir in this other timeline were in fact together and thinking about what the reason for it is. She believed that it was them being together knowing their secret identities, and their love did it. So here in this dream, well everyone knows right, so what's keeping them from being together now? Interesting thought to have for someone who claims she doesn't love him. ;) Tikki squeaks when bounced. Good to know lol But poor thing was asleep. LOL the Lochness Monster is Trixx's doing, huh? It's like every major event in history happened because of a Kwami. What else are we going to learn xD Marinette being freaked out by the tarantula. The biggest spider I've ever seen in my house is a Giant Crab Spider. Freaked me out so much too. Poor thing was terrified though so I let it go outside. xD Are Alya's parents going to be like Marinette's parents and just shrug when their daughter says things they don't understand and let it go. Because in their situation, those are the best parents to have. Except Adrien's, who isn't around....oof moving on. And here is the start of Nino feeling left out... DX Anyone that knows me knows I adore him, so this is going to begin to get really painful for me. ;-; TRIXX IS JUST SO STINKING CUTE And then suddenly with the phone ringing and empty room with a villain on the other line threatening the lives of her friends and family, did I feel like I entered one of my Taiwanese dramas instead of Miraculous Ladybug. And I love it! I had no idea how Alya was going to deal with Shadow Moth's call, instructions, and Sentibubbler in the room, I was at the edge of my seat. Older seasons it was so much easier to have a good general idea anyway of what was going to happen, but now you get caught by surprise much more. Alya is so brilliant, there's honestly nobody better for Marinette to have told first. I love Chat Noir so much and for emotional reasons, I wanted him to know first. But it's so easy for one or both to be unable to transform or do their job, they need at least one other on the outside they can trust. Alya is certainly that someone. I do think Nino knowing and Adrien finding out will make them the strongest though. But of course, not without its consequences. There is no perfect solution. I also want to point out too. When Marinette was trying to decide what to do, she thought of ways that would cause significant trouble, or worse. Transforming in front of everyone and going back in time to erase that. Nothing she thought of to get herself out of the situation was a good idea. Chat Noir didn't want to listen to Rena Rouge and was going to blow her plan up. Her wording wasn't great, and she should've said it differently so he'd be more likely to listen. But
both Ladybug and Chat Noir were going to do things that would cause serious damage and consequences. Rena Rouge was the one that helped make things go smoothly. But also yikes the fact that Chat Noir got so angry and hurt about being left out (it didn't even have anything to do with Ladybug, so that's going to be a misunderstanding that adds up and comes back later ooof) that he destroyed a chimney with his baton. o.o But his "Oh well Miraculous Ladybug will fix it anyway so I can't feel too bad" xD Everything lately about these episodes just screams "Chat Noir and Nino are going to have to know, at least some details, and soon." either that or both of them walk away because they can't put up with it anymore. And I'm pretty sure we're not getting the latter! Chat Noir being told by Marinette to stay where he is. Chat: BUT WHYYYY x.x Marinette: Rena Rouge created a Ladybug illusion to trick Sentibubbler, who is a Sentimonster. If you go there, you might ruin her entire plan! Chat: ... and you know this how? That's really sus, Marinette... Marinette just goes all casual Chat-like as she explains and he just doesn't even question anything anymore lololol Alya being super smart and getting Shadow Moth away from her while she still keeps the Miraculous. Hahahaha what if all the rest do that too, that'll be so great. x3 Chat, explains what's going on and what he has to do. Marinette: Good idea! :D Chat: Relax. The real Ladybug will save her and together we will save you. Marinette: We're already saving them, Kitty. We already are... Me: AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY HEART ;-; The only real physical damage done to Paris that day was when the Agreste's decided to vent their anger out on innocent buildings. Marinette being as Ladybug to Chat Noir as she can be while Marinette's the one with him trapped in a bubble. x33 I love how he uses Cataclysm, gets trapped in the bubble again, and Marinette just blinks at him like "Oh Kitty...:c" In S1, Marinette would've rolled her eyes and shook her head lol Ladybug transforming in a bubble right next to Chat Noir and he knows absolutely nothing :D I'd be so nervous even with that illusion if it were me. Chat Noir: NOBODY CAN MUTE ME Shadow Moth: Wanna bet? THAT ACTION SHOT OF PEGABUG TAKING THE COFFEE CUP FROM HAWK MOTHS IS ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITES Her hair is so pretty and her smug look is just so perfect!! Chat Noir saving Nino <3 Ladybug and Rena Rouge's hug <3 Seriously loving these friend moments. But they make me nervous about what's to come. "Hey, I thought today would be the end of Chat Noir." Oh dear. Please don't have him thinking like this still. What's it going to take for this poor boy to understand he's irreplaceable and she cares so much about him? At this point I think him knowing her feelings for him and some of the truth, but not all of it, would be what it'd take. Okay, the scenes after the end card now are tripping me up. Such creepy, dramatic music with a getting angrier all the time Gabriel. Scary. Thanks to spoilers from TFOU, this scene here, hints at the finale episode for sure. And that was the episode! I really enjoyed this one, I love how it's really getting the ball rolling on some problems that later on will need to be fixed, to then have them come back happier and stronger than before. We just need to live through it first lol.
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nightowlfandom · 3 years
Text
Anime! Fictional! BTS x Real World! Reader- Welcome To My World~ Episode 2
Read the other chapters- Episode 1
CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!
On the previous Episode of “Welcome To My World’
“Get out of here you little-.” you chased the dog out of your room, slamming your door as it scurried off.~...
“I think it’s cute to be honest. Y/N here actually has a hobby besides stalking celebrities online.”~...
“...You just do.” you nudged her shoulder. “You just go for it and hope. Go for it.”~...
“Starting new game....now”~...
...
Everything was dark. You couldn’t even open your eyes. You were aware of your surrounding all while being frightened at the same time. Did you collapse? Were the graphics too strong for you to handle?
“Shh, I think she’s still sleeping!”
“She’s been asleep for hours! Should we call someone?”
“No! She looks like she’s about to wake up.”
You let out a loud groan, feeling your head pounding with pain. 
“Honey! Is everything okay?”
There was a gentle hand on your forehead which eased all pain you felt. “Hm?” 
“You passed out. We told you not to go out when you were sick! You’re lucky we caught you before you made it out the door.”
You suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of Deja-Vu, where have you heard this before?
You finally found it in yourself to open your eyes. Three men were standing over you. All looking very familiar. The first guy breathed a sigh of relief before wiping his eyes. “Love, You scared me!”
“She scared all of us!” The next in line snapped. “Y/N you can’t do that!” he glared down at you.
“...” Your eyes scanned over the three. “W-wha- HOLY SHIT!” You let out a loud scream. You began thrashing your body, falling off the couch in the process. Despite your head still hurting, you scrambled to your feet.
“Hey! Easy!!” a guy with pale blonde hair ushered up to you.
Kim Namjoon: Wealthy Playboy With A Dark Secret.
“Huh...” the words appeared in front of you like magic, yet it appeared that only you were able to see them. They slowly faded out at the next guy spoke.
“Be easy on her!”
Kim Taehyung: Singer With A Heart Of Gold
“I say we knock some sense into her so it doesn’t happen again.”
Min Yoongi: Rapper With A Hot Temper
“Woah.” you whispered. Wait, were you in the game?! This was exactly like the intro to the first BTS Universe game. 
~Try To Get Their Attention OR ~Remain Quiet.
You stared at the floating words in front of you. Try to get their attention or remain quiet. You focused on the three who were all arguing over you. Where was your mom? Mr. Chai? Nari?! You finally made your choice.
“Um...excuse me?” your voice captured their attention. “C-could someone tell me what’s happening?” 
“What happened is that instead of going to bed, you tried to go in to work against our wishes.” Namjoon crossed his arms. “Any questions?”
“Um...yes?” you dared to say. “Where am I?”
“At the penthouse. We bought you back last night.” Taehyung smiled. “You seem to be feeling better though!” 
“Y-yeah...Um I gotta use the bathroom” you replied....Where the fuck would that be? You allowed yourself to walk away down a long hall. “Bathroom....Bathroom. Aha!”
You stared at yourself in he bathroom mirror. You looked like a 3-D rendered version of yourself. “This is real?” you shuddered. “Um...What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
~Wash Your Face OR ~Check Your phone
“My phone?” you began digging around through your pockets until you felt your phone. You stared at the screen and the words ‘BTS WORLD’ flashed across the screen.
“Stats, closet, gacha?” you raised an eyebrow. Curious, you pressed it which pulled up one of those cool Gachapon Machines.
Spend gold stars, or diamonds?...
“How many diamonds do I have?”
You have...90,000 Stars and 9000 diamonds!
You were about to click something else when a knock came at the door.
“H-hello?” you called. 
“Open up!” a gruff voice answers. 
As if not being able to control yourself, you opened the car door.
Jung Hoseok : King of The Crime Underworld
“How long were you gonna take in there?” he seethed. 
“Oh! I’m sorry.” you didn’t know what else to say.
“Sure you are.” he huffed. “..Why do you look like that?” he glared at you. 
“I just woke up.” you guessed. “I’m s-sorry.”
“Ugh, stop apologizing.” he rolled his eyes. “What do you want for breakfast?”
“Breakfast?..Ummm pancakes?”
“Hm...Hey...you look different.” he mused. 
Well you definitely didn’t look like the regular typical visual novel MC...
“I like it.” he smirked. “Keep this look.”
“Oh..Um...okay.” you laughed nervously. You didn’t expect that. ‘Um...I’ll be done in a bit.”
“Hm, very well. Be downstairs in ten minutes.” he said before walking off. 
...(Downstairs)
You awkwardly sat between Hoseok and Namjoon, great...You absentmindedly played with your food, still trying to grasp the edges of what the hell was going on. How did you get trapped in a game! 
“Hm, cat got your tongue?”
You looked up to whoever spoke.
Kim Seokjin: Cold Blooded Lawyer
~Answer Kindly OR Answer Rudely
“Better Play It Safe...” You thought. “Um...No, my head just hurts.” you lied. “It’s nothing.”
“Oh no! Do you need me to take a look at it?”
“You’re always looking for an excuse to get her alone!”
Park Jimin: World Renowned Designer 
Jeon Jungkook: The Charming Doctor
You stared at everyone in front of you. This was real. You all sat at a dining table. You looked around at everyone who were eating and speaking amongst themselves.
“No, I’ll be fine.” you shook your head. “I think I just need to rest today.” you gritted. And find out how the hell you were gonna get home. You were sure your parents were worried sick about you.
“If you want I can give you a checkup.” Jungkook winked. “Come to my room if you’re interested.”
“Please, you’re the last person Y/N would go to for a checkup.” Namjoon scoffed. It was then you felt a strange touch on your leg. “Leave your perverse thoughts to yourself.” Namjoon leaned close and whispered in your ear. “Unless you want me to give you a checkup.
You felt your cheeks heat up as you slowly rose from your spot at the table. “N-no. Really, I’m just gonna go to bed” you scurried off. “See you guys!”
“Am I really in the game?” you asked as you stared at your surrounded. BTS: Universe was the very first game you’ve ever played, so you didn’t even know if you remembered the events of the game all the way. 
You finally found your room and barricaded yourself inside, letting out a loud scream. 
‘WHAT THE- HOW THE-....The disc.” you began rambling. “How am I gonna-” you slapped a hand over your forehead. Usually when you played games like these, you played...dirty.
You chose all the lewd choices, did everything humanely possible with each character, and were basically an entirely different person when it game to playing the games. What were you gonna do now?
“I got to get out of here.” you leaned against the door and sat down. 
End of Episode 2...
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11x17: Red Meat Analysis (or, how can I make every episode Destiel even if Misha isn’t in them)
I have feelings about this episode, and I needed to therapeutically analyze them for REASONS, so here we go.  Script bytes included with my emphasis.
***It is important to note that, despite this being a generally MOTW/brother-focused episode, Dean is so focused on getting Cas back at this point in the season that he doesn’t even want to go on the hunt to begin with (despite just two episodes back pushing Sam to do it in Beyond the Mat):
DEAN 
All right, well, we make a call and we put somebody on it.
SAM
Yeah, but... [He sighs, closes his laptop and looks at Dean]. We'll get him back.
DEAN
How?
SAM
I... I don't know. But we'll figure it out. Meantime, we got to get out of here. Clear our heads. I mean, this is a case. Let's do what we do. Let's work it.
***Since no good deed goes unpunished, Sam’s attempt to clear Dean’s head leads to him almost dying and then (TW) Dean’s grisly faux-suicide attempt in order to get to a reaper to bargain for Sam’s life (really this entire episode should have a TW before the content) (*really the entire show should have a TW before the content).
Anyways, enter Billie, our queen of foreshadowing, who says:
BILLIE 
Just savoring this. Though I have to say of all the ways I thought you'd go... heart attack, some fang, choking on a burger while binge-watching “Charles in Charge”...
***So, you know, both things he goes through in the thing that must not be named, the first being Billie’s actual attempt to kill him, and the second being what kills him for good.  Dammit, Bilie.  I equally adore and detest you and your accuracy.  Are you secretly a prophet?  
Dean continues to plead with her:
DEANS SPIRIT [sadness and desperation in his eyes]
I'm asking you... I'm begging you, please. Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead.
***So as we know, the doctor revives Dean and Sam ends up being alive and everything is fine for everyone.  Well, everyone EXCEPT Michelle, one of the newlywed victims, who loses her husband (Corbin - he becomes a werewolf - Sam has to shoot him).  At the end of the episode, Dean is trying to comfort her ->
DEAN 
Michelle, this is gonna be very hard. But you will be okay. And, eventually... eventually you'll get back to normal.
MICHELLE [sighing]: 
No, I won't.
Michelle smiles gently at Dean, and then turns away, as tears spill.
MICHELLE 
They said I could leave... [she sighs] an hour ago. But... where am I even supposed to go? After everything we survived together... [turning back to Dean] I watched the man I love die. There's no normal after that.
***Later, Dean and Sam leave the hospital, despite the prior exchange, Dean remains aloof/casually optimistic about Michelle’s state.
DEAN 
So, that's it, huh? Two quarts O-neg, and you're good to go.
SAM 
[sighing as he walks gingerly down the steps]: How is she? Ooh.
DEAN 
She's strong. She'll be all right. Those stitches gonna hold?
ANALYSIS: I had some issues to work through on my first viewing of this scene.  It made me feel icky-weird - like, why is my baby Dean being so dismissive?  Why isn’t he taking what she said seriously?  She’s hopeless and devastated - and while Dean is pretty rough around the edges at times, he’s not callous.  He wouldn't just dismiss Michelle’s feelings, especially since she played an integral role in helping him and they really connected on some level during the episode.  Saving people is what Dean loves to do, how is leaving Michelle alone in her despair and grief saving her? 
As everything tends to, this hit different on the rewatch - my assessment - Dean’s attitude in this scene does not come from his lack of sympathy for Michelle, but a lack of true understanding - because what she is feeling he cannot possibly comprehend at this point in the show.  He hasn’t yet really, and I mean REALLY watched the person he loves most in this world die in the same sense that Michelle just did.  Yes, at one point in this particular episode Sam dies, and I’m sure that people draw that parallel as “the point” in this story arc (and then go on to do more than that but we do not allow that crap here), but Sam is Dean’s brother, and it’s just not the *same* parallel.  AND that wouldn’t explain Dean’s attitude - his nonchalant, off handed comment that Michelle will be okay (I don’t think this statement reads as a “cover” of any concerns he actually has, I truly think he thinks she will be okay), so while he went through watching someone die who has been through everything with him, someone he loves deeply as his family, it’s not really the same as watching your soulmate, the person you love romantically die.  Yes - Cas is “missing” because of Lucifer but he is not dead, there is still hope (and while Dean lost Cas back in Season 7, I don’t believe he was quite *there* with his feelings for Cas then to understand what Michelle is going through).  Dean simply cannot fathom the feeling of despair Michelle is feeling at this point.
But he will.  And he will also experience what Michelle did.  I wonder if he thought back to that conversation when it happened to him.
I present to you for consideration the following two images.
11x17:
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13x01:
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***By the way, Dean’s spirit and Billie have another exchange in this season after Cas’s death in 13x05:
BILLIE
That doesn’t sound like the Dean Winchester I know and love. The man who has been dead so many times but it never seems to stick. Maybe you’re not that guy anymore, they guy who saves the world, the guy who always thinks he’ll win no matter what. You have changed. And you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it but you know you won’t, you can’t and that scares the hell out of you. Or… am I wrong?
DEAN
What do you want me to say? Doesn’t matter. I don’t matter.
BILLIE
Don’t you?
DEAN I couldn’t save Mom. I couldn’t save Cas. I can’t even save a scared little kid. Sam keeps trying to fix it, but I just keep dragging him down. So I’m not going to beg. Okay, if it’s my time, it’s my time.
BILLIE
You really believe that. [Dean shakes his head yes] You wanna die.
***There is the despair.  Dean has changed.  There is no normal after Cas is gone.
I know, I know I am “making it all about the angel,” and forgetting that technically Dean lost Mary in the Season 12 finale and he is feeling defeated by the world and can’t get a win.  I get that.  I understand your point.  It isn’t JUST the loss of Cas that brings this level of increased pain to the same words he uttered in 11x17.  I appreciate your viewpoint.
But, I want to also present for your consideration the third image aka the final chapter in the lesson of despair (right after a certain episode with a certain name).
15x19:
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And that, my friends, is why I have feelings about Red Meat.
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lewis-winters · 3 years
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Hi! i really enjoy your daemon au and i-ve gone and watched the new his dark materials series because of it. i love your take on daemons and was wondering if you have nymore headcanons for the other boys? what's luz's daemon? liptons? how do you pick their names? are there any daemons who Re the same sex as their humans? you dont have to rwply if you dont want to i just wanted to tell you i enjoy your world very much!!
Oh, hi! I’m glad you’re watching the new His Dark Materials adaptation! It’s pretty good, huh?
I do have headcanons for not just most of the boys but for the world itself. Though I also call it His Dark Materials!AU alongside daemon!AU it’s actually more the latter than the former. The only things I carried over into this AU from the original world of His Dark Materials are the existence of daemons, the fact that daemons are made of Dust particles, and the existence of witches. The magisterium or any kind of theocracy doesn’t exist. The authority and the angels also do not carry over. Instead, our own religions exist, but there’s just as much emphasis on spiritualism and mysticism as there is on moralism, which I believe would be the natural development of religion in this world where your soul/daemon, the spiritual aspect of you, is literally there for everybody else to see.
All of the boys have small or medium sized daemons, the biggest probably belonging to that of Ron and Tab, who have an Ocelot daemon and a sheepdog daemon respectively. The reason for this being that small or medium sized daemons are easily carried and they, alongside bird or other kinds of flying daemons, are preferred by the airborne. You still gotta jump out of a perfectly good airplane largely undetected. Can’t do that with an elephant daemon. 
Ok. This got real long so I’m putting the rest under the cut. tw: mentions of death, trauma, and mutilation.
Some of the younger boys’ daemons haven’t settled. Miller, Hashey, Garcia, and Jackson. Hashey and Garcia’s settle in Hageneu. Miller and Jackson never get the chance.
Shifty’s daemon, Myrtle, is a Capybara. But he doesn’t know that. Every time somebody asked him what his daemon was, he’d shrug, say ‘Don’t rightly know,’ then leave it at that. What can he do? Capybara’s aren’t native to Virginia and he’s never been out of Virginia. Webster was the one to tell him that Myrtle was a Capybara because he’d read about them in a book somewhere that one time. Myrtle was startled by this and said; “I thought I was some kind of dog!” that was one of the few times she ever spoke out-loud during the whole war.
As I’ve said before in this post, Lew’s daemon is a chameleon named Amalthea. For all of the events of episode 9, Lew kept her in his pocket and that scared almost everybody shitless, because it made it seem like he was walking around without a daemon. The replacements assigned to them around that time, like O’Keefe, thought he didn’t have a soul. He never bothered to correct them because that meant letting Amalthea out, and the idea of her being in the open and vulnerable made him especially ill. He’d rather people thought he was soulless than allow himself and Amalthea to get hurt again. Which is so Lewis.
Skip has a hummingbird daemon named Ilaria, which is a name that means happiness and joy. This daemon-human duo wasn’t hard for me to figure out. It just fits.
Malarkey’s daemon is an artic hare with a summer coat named Felis. She’s settled, but after Foy and after losing Skip and Alex and Buck, she changes again. Subtlely, of course, and not wholely. She stays an artic hare, but instead of a summer coat, she permanently has a winter coat.
It’s not uncommon in this world for your daemon to change after severe trauma. I bet as the field of psychology expands, so does the understanding of trauma’s effects on the soul expand. There’s many studies on the changing of once settled daemons in relation to soldiers’ PTSD.
Buck’s daemon, a male bald eagle named Romulus, changes entirely. Still a bird, but instead of an eagle, he turns into a snowy owl. Before the war, he was a chatty daemon. After, he barely speaks and only does so to Buck and, very rarely, to those close to them.
Eugene Sledge’s male daemon, Daecon goes from a blood hound and gets turned into a Luzon bleeding heart-- which, I know is on the nose but it’s just. It’s such a cool bird, ya’ll. I’ve seen one up-close and ever since that day, I have not known any peace. The shift would be painful and would happen very slowly. It was actually horrific and was a trauma in and of itself. That was the last time they ever changed, though.
I also headcanon that the longer you’ve been settled, the harder and more painful the shift.
Merriell Shelton’s daemon settles in Gloucester. Into what, I’m not sure yet, but a part of me thinks she’s settled into some kind of big cat from the rain forests. Either a cloud leopard or a jaguar. Her name’s Charlotte but he calls her Lottie. Don’t ask me why. It just fits.
That being said, I have some Thoughts about people with big cat daemons. They’re usually aloof. Like, they make a very impactful first impression but they’re mostly solitary individuals who are weird af and difficult to get to know. It takes a really special person to tame a human with a big cat daemon. Once you earn their trust, that’s for life. They’re also really self-assured and are very secure in their sense of self. There is almost little to no tension between big cat daemons and their humans, and if there is, it gets explosive.
Ron Speirs has a big cat daemon, a female Ocelot named Aurele. She never talks, not even to Ron. They have this silent gaze/telepathy going on. Ron also takes on a couple of animalistic traits because of it. They could also... stretch their bond really far? Which is scary as fuck. People think he’s the son of a witch who, in her desperation to make him immortal, made him go through the ritual that allows a witch and her daemon to part for long periods of time and great distances. This is not true. Ron and Aurele just have really high pain tolerance.
Eugene Roe, on the other hand, is the son of a witch. His maman, however, did not make him go through the ritual because he’s not her first son. She knows the pain of outliving her sons well. She loves him all the same but understands that he will die well before her. Eugene’s daemon is a male kinkajou named Louis. Which is both a surprise and also not. For much of the war there’s a lot of tension there. Louis craves connection with others, Roe needs isolation to keep their sanity. It kind of turns into this thing where, if you wanted to comfort Roe or be close to him, you’d have to go through his daemon instead.
Babe’s daemon is a squirrel. A very chatty female russian squirrel named Abigail. They talk to each other a lot, and Abby talks to other people a lot too. Sometimes, she even answers in lieu of Babe. They’re both very blunt and very out there, no hiding with Babe and Abby. It used to get them into a lot of trouble with the nuns at school, who believed that daemons are only meant to be seen and not heard. A+ Catholic repression.
George’s daemon was a little tricky to me. I know his daemon is female and that her name is Thalia. I also know that she can fly. My first thought was: Parrot, either a hyacinth macaw or a white cockatoo. But, I also really like the idea of George having a Butterfly daemon. Particularly one that looks like a leaf when her wings are folded up but is brilliantly jewel toned when she opens them. In the end, I opted for George entering the army, having not settled just yet, and he and Thalia are this kind of double-act, where she shifts into whatever form is necessary for the punchline of the joke. She only settles into a parrot (idk still what kind) after their first jump and all the excitement in Carentan. A gradual thing. They don’t even notice until just before the jump in Holland. When they miss someone, Thalia will mimic that person’s voice. First, it was George’s mama and the voice of her daemon, both speaking in rapid fire portugese. Later on, in Austria, Thalia starts imitating all the friends they’ve lost. Sometimes she’ll sound like Skip. Other times, she’ll sound like Bill. It takes a very long time for her to break this habit. To the point wherein she and George don’t even remember what her real voice sounds like.
Lip’s daemon settled really early and is a female Bonobo named Jane. Has been since he was ten and made man of the house. This, like Skip and Ilaria, was very easy for me to figure out.
Dick’s daemon is a Caracara raptor bird. I’m still figuring out the specifics so she doesn’t have a name yet. Sorry.
As mentioned, Tab has a sheepdog daemon named Marisa who enjoys keeping him and everybody else in check. Have you met a sheepdog? They will literally herd you. It doesn’t matter if you are not a lamb or a sheep. They will nip at your heels until you go where they want to go. That’s Marisa. She’ll nip at Tab’s heels, she’ll nip at everybody else’s heels. If you are going somewhere she does not want you to go she will make sure you know her displeasure. 
It is also super funny when she looks Tab in the eye and goes “Down, boy.” It never fails to make Tab go red and make everybody else laugh. 
Harry’s daemon-- and don’t get mad at me-- but Harry’s daemon is a Scottish Terrier named Saoirse. He carries her around strapped to his chest during jumps. It’s fucking cute. Don’t say that to their faces though because they will lose all respect for you. It’s a daemon suited more to a teacher than it is to a soldier, that’s for sure.
Bill’s daemon is a pit-bull named Darla. Scary looking one, too, with a very bawdy sense of humor. She will growl at you and pretend to bite and you will be very scared but she only does it as a joke. She’s honestly really cool. When Bill and Babe are walking around together, Abby likes to perch on top of Darla’s head. It’s adorable. Sometimes, when Abby gets too much, Darla carries her around in her mouth. It’s still cute. But only to them, everybody else finds it vaguely horrifying.
I know there’s this taboo of humans not touching other humans’ daemons but it’s kinda difficult in such close-quarters like theirs. It is also heavily implied in the original text of Philip Pullman, that the no-touching thing is a cultural thing. Like, I think in religions that deal a lot in repression like Catholicism or Protestantism, the touching of another’s daemon is a no-no and is only reserved for the most intimate of relations (i.e. marriage). But I feel like religions such as Judaism, Wiccan, Paganism, or even some branches of Folk-Catholicism encourage touch/celebrate that connection between two humans. Neither of these two beliefs are wrong, of course. It’s just a cultural thing and they carry with them both pros and cons.
I bet Lieb grew up very used to his daemon being touched by his mother and father or older siblings. It’s not taboo to him, though he recognizes that it’s taboo to others. He doesn’t get it though, and is constantly rolling his eyes every time somebody gasps when they accidentally touch someone’s daemon.
A lot of the boys just kinda ignore the touching daemons thing until they get used to it.
I’m not sure what Lieb’s daemon is or what her name is, too. I know she’s a social kind of daemon-- not solitary like a big cat or a reptile (like snakes). I thought maybe a wolf, but a wolf daemon is too... large and there are a lot of connotations attached to it. I think Lieb’s daemon is something medium-sized and unassuming. Not a dog. Not a domestic cat either. A part of me thinks flightless bird, but no. Not that either. Give me time. I’ll figure her out. As of now, I’m thinking either a marsupial or a canidae/fox but not quite. She’s a mammal, that much I know. Just don’t know what kind.
Grant’s daemon is a male domestic cat named Saladin. He’s either an Abyssinian or a Bengal. Either way, he’s really cool. Like super cool. They’re both super duper cool.
And... that’s kinda it. That’s all I have for now. I’m really sorry it got so long, anon. I get really excited when talking about daemons. It’s character study but with animals! Thank you for giving me this opportunity to ramble. This is where I leave you.
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lizacstuff · 3 years
Text
Merhaba friends - SCK episode 35 asks
(Fragman 36 ask at the end)
Apologies to those of you who sent asks for last week’s episode and I didn’t answer them. The week got away from me and then suddenly it was show day, the episode aired, and the asks were no longer relevant. Even if I didn’t answer I appreciate you reaching out!
Anonymous said: I’m dying to know what you thought.
While my ego would like to think that there are a variety of subjects that people might seek out my thoughts on, I’m going to guess you want to know what I thought of episode 35. 
I had a mixed reaction. I liked a lot of things, loved a lot of things, there were some things I found disappointing, and a few characters I wanted to strangle. So let’s explore from that perspective. 
Liked:
Romcom feel was back. It felt lighter and was easier to watch than a lot of eps in this arc.
Aydan, Ayfer and Seyfi working together to unite the kids. They were actually funny and trying to do the right thing, even if their methods were a bit morally gray. 
Serkan and Eda’s photo on outdoor advertising and on the cover of magazines. We’ll ignore how quick the turnaround was to get those photos up, it was just plain fun to watch Serkan see himself on his drive into work and be embarrassed and aggravated by the whole thing, while there was also a little spark of excitement from him in being linked to Eda like that. That was enjoyable.
Melo is always the best bestie and Ayfer didn’t suck as an aunt!
LOVED:
Most every individual Edser scene. 
Serkan out-of-his head with worry, planning to jump into the frigid sea, even though he wouldn’t have any shot of saving her that way. That’s my ride-or-die, protective romantic robot! 
Serkan making faces as Eda plans her wedding. Excellent work from Kerem here. 
Eda buttoning up Serkan’s shirt. That was hot. It was also hot that he just let her. 
Sekan buttoning up Eda’s dress (get a room kids and start going the other way... unbuttoning, UNBUTTON) This scene was emotional and the sexual tension! 
Serkan clutching his chest. The poor boy was about to have a panic attack right there. Follow through, writers, give him the full fledged panic attack!  
The hair caught in the button (There’s that button again!) sequence. it was funny and sexy and made Selin into a foolish, immature third wheel. I’m all for it. 
Serkan apologizing to Eda for Selin, that was big because up til now he hasn’t really recognized how awful Selin is in most situations. He has blinders when it comes to her, mostly because he doesn’t pay attention, so it was satisfying to see him acknowledge her bad behavior.
EVERY MOMENT AT THE BOLAT HOUSE. That was a great sequence, and IMO we mostly have Hande and Kerem to thank for it and not the writers. They brought it to life and obviously a lot of it was on them to just figure out what to do in the scene.  I loved that Serkan saw Eda amongst the flowers in that painting. Swoon!  their conversation about how they were both hungry was hilarious. Every moment with them fixing the sandwiches was gold and then it just got better from there. With him being willing to share food, to the throwback “mesala” conversation to her listening to his heart. All so... so... good. 
However, while we definitely deserved those nice, long, funny, heartwarming scenes, I must say the writers didn’t use them to their fullest potential. How did the night end? How did they part? Why was no progress made after spending the night that way?  If the writers were even half decent at their job they would have had Serkan confess some feelings while high, but not remember in the morning thus giving us the parallel with episode 11 when he was sick. Eda would have felt defeated when he didn’t remember, again, and it would have made more sense why she thought the fake wedding was her last shot at getting through to him. 
Characters I’m mad at:
Ceren knows the whole episode that Deniz loves Eda, she knows he’s being weird about it, she makes up with Eda, and stills says nothing? WTF?
Engin makes it to the wedding, he knows Serkan has his memories back and he doesn’t stop the wedding to let Eda know before she says yes? WTF?
Ferit allegedly has the photos and he thinks the wedding is real, but he doesn’t show Eda the photos so she has a better idea of what she’s getting into? WTF?      (though through that whole Ferit/Selin scene I wondered if Ferit was just playing along with Selin, trying to get info out of her and he’s not really the one who has the photos. Time will tell. )
Selin/Deniz- Obvious, psychos, I need them freaking gone. How Deniz can claim to love Eda, but sit there and watch her look devastated and cry her eyes out at the thought of fake marrying him, while knowing he’s about to pull a disgusting trick is unfathomable. He needs to be committed.
Disappointing:
To be clear, I no longer care, but I can’t believe how badly they flubbed this storyline. That? That was the payoff for the hell we’ve been put through for 7 weeks? Wow talk about not worth it and anti-climactic. I’m not going to go on about all the ways they failed, but I could. 
While I fully believe that Serkan fell back in love with Eda before he got his memories back (see this post) he should have confessed to Eda before he got them back. That was the whole point of this entire storyline and they carried that the entire time, but then fumbled the ball at the 1 yard line. Good grief, these writers are bad. 
Serkan gets his memories back, he knows time is of the essence, and he still is torn and has to think about it? WHAT? Just no. Ridiculous. I realize they did it for maximum suspense, but they shouldn’t have. They really shouldn’t have.
That was their reunion after all we’ve been through? Come on, writers, step it up. I realize we no longer have the writers that gave us his love declaration in 11 or Eda’s and Serkan’s proposals, or their make up scene in 28 or their goodbye scene in 28, but this was lackluster. 
So, in summation, there was a lot that I really enjoyed, I thought the episode flowed better than some of the others in this arc, and lots of great individual Edser moments, it’s just the way they flubbed the whole storyline. I’m just so glad the amnesia is over, that thankfully I don't really care.
Anonymous said: when pushed by engin and aydan multiple times in the episode he never denies he ISN'T in love with her and rather skirts around the issue and deflects with "she's marrying deniz!" which should be proof enough he fell in love with her especially considering in 29 he was telling eda that "there was no such thing as love" between them. it was almost reminiscent of eda in 10/11 where she doesn't tell him her feelings bc she believes he wants selin, this time in reverse bc he believes she's moved on.
This came in response to this ask, and yes I agree. I should have hit that point harder, that Engin and Aydan ask him and he never denies it. When this arc started he would have denied it in a flat second. 
He fell in love with her again, full stop. It’s just a shame that they didn’t make it the entire crux of his love confession, we deserved to see that. Just one of the many ways the writers dropped the ball with this storyline. 
Anonymous said: The whiplash we got going from 26-28 to the drag of 29-35 though. 🤦🏼‍♀️ and you really could cut out that entire storyline and you wouldn’t be missing anything because really nothing happened. They didn’t even have Serkan stopping Eda before he got his memories back to fulfill a basic assumed foreshadowing. Like....huh?
I don’t want to be negative, but it’s crazy to me that they sped through wedding prep at a lightning pace and then went through this painful amnesia storyline at a snail’s pace. They should have had at least 5 episodes of wedding prep, doing just one pre-wedding activity per episode, but kept Babaanne around to create the drama. I wanted at least one episode of them back together, but keeping it secret so they could work against her. We were robbed of that!
Anonymous said: I know we’ve been hating a lot on the new writers but the showrunner still has to sign off on these scenes right? And it’s been the same one this whole time. What has she been thinking? Maybe the writers didn’t do their homework but surely she can tell that scenes being very out of character wouldn’t make sense?
Bold of you to assume there’s a showrunner as we know them on a Hollywood show. I assume you’re talking about Asena, but I always think of her more of a cross between an EP and a network exec. A bit more removed than a showrunner.  I have no idea who the guiding light of this show is since Ayse left. The production timelines are so tight, I don’t think there’s time to review scripts and reject them. Sometime I think it’s a wonder anything makes sense at all. 
Anonymous said: I see you've giffed some of the edser "questionable positions" bookshelf scene. (Awesome gifs btw). Honestly, that entire scene was really funny, with the rest of the art life crew jumping in. Even Selin made me laugh when she came in there and said "how did her hair get stuck?!" and Serkan very sarcastically replied with something like "I wound it up in there, what do you think??" Not to mention all the very close face talking that was going on!
Great scene! Here’s the gif set you’re referring to.  I suppose the writers proved they could do fun, and romantically comedic scenes if they want to. More like this, please. 
Anonymous said:
With these past 5 (?) episodes with these last set of writers, I truly believe that they did not go back to watch SCK at all before writing. Any past references were probably given to them on a checklist or something. Like I don't know if they even watched episode 28 with how they ended up doing away with the memory loss. Its kind of astounding how much they dropped the ball. Hopefully the rumors of new writers are true and they get enough episodes to give us a good ending to this story!
This came in right after the episode, but unfortunately, we learned today that we are apparently not getting new writers, at least not for episode 36.I was fully convinced we were since Sefkat (the production company twitter admin) liked Yasin’s post when he said we’d be getting all new writers for 36. Normally I don’t believe anything Yasin says because he has lied so many times that any info he actually has just comes across as a clock being right twice a day.  However, when she liked it, I found that convincing.  Also the way they cancelled shooting on Saturday and H/K were in for a meeting on Friday. Seemed like it was all adding up. We’ll see, maybe there will be new ones for 37??
As for not watching what came before, it certainly feels like they only skimmed and watched certain scenes and didn’t do a deep dive on the series. Watching all the eps in full should be a requirement before they start the job. I always feel they are  just off with Serkan’s characterization, they don’t quite get him and they turn him a bit into a cardboard cutout of early Serkan. It’s like the character sketch outline of Serkan, but with no depth. 
Anonymous said: When I saw the character description of the new cast member added to the show I was like "great, another possible screen space filler in regards to Aydan" but after watching the episode, I was actually really intrigued by his character. I know there's a bunch of theories out there that Serkan is actually his son, which I don't really buy into right now, but nevertheless he was a real potential to be a father figure in Serkan's life... and maybe the only guest character to not be a villain lol.
I’ll tell you this, that casting makes it seem like they at least want us to think he’s Serkan’s father.  He’s way better looking that Alptekin and he just looks like he could genetically be responsible for the magnificence that is Serkan. 
We’ll see what they do. I think it could be interesting, just because until Serkan met Eda he was so invested in being “Serkan Bolat” that having his identity shaken like this would be seismic for him. It could create some really good drama for him in all his relationships without tearing apart Edser. Also, if Alptekin knew it would go along way in explaining that relationship. Alptekin always demanding perfection and the cold way he sent him away to boarding school. It would explain why he could never earn his father’s love or approval, and that knowledge might give him some peace. 
In addition, and a big plus, it would mean that his biological father was NOT responsible for the deaths of Eda’s parents. 
Anonymous said: 1/ everyone for weeks was waxing poetic and had super detailed headcannons of how serkan would remember in really specific ways when he realized he was in love, something that ayfer kinda poked fun of at the beginning of the ep talking about the fake wedding, but i was genuinely laughing out loud at serkan and engin accidently getting into a fight and him yelling throughout it that he remembers and engin pushing him in front going "can you give him one good hit?!" lmaoo
2/ getting a good hit to the end to unscramble your brain that is already giving you flashbacks is more actually more realistic than the usual fairytale way.. sure, less romantic, but definitely more realistic. the man was already in love with her, super confused on what to do since he genuinely thought she was marrying deniz, and was already having flashes, all he really needed was good hit in the head lol. maybe eda should've kept going when they were boxing 😂
I like your take on it.
Anonymous said: i think they saw the fandom complaining week after week that there was too much heaviness/drama in their romcom and said "so you guys want romcom? here i'll give you full on romcom" which is what i thought this episode was! and i really appreciated such a fun ep overall to watch to bring this otherwise really sad and emotion heavy memory loss plot to an end.
Yes, the episode was a lot more fun than most that had come before it. If only they could have tied it all together. 
Anonymous said: Something that just occurred to me that's so crazy in addition to wrapping an episode days before it airs, is that in Turkish television, a series has like 1 permanent director and a small writing team that writes ALL of the episodes. In US TV, that's pretty much unheard of - different writers rotate owning each episode and the same director will shoot maybe 2-3 episodes at most a season. The production turnaround time is so short that it's insane that we don't hear of more last-minute delays
I know, I think about this all the time. It’s crazy to me that there’s only one director. Which is why there’s not a lot of added layers to this show.  When a director just has one episode on their plate and they spend a couple of weeks prepping to direct, every shot, every angle, every bit of set dressing can be meaningful. This show doesn’t have that kind of visual depth.  On the other hand you do get a director that knows the actors and crew inside and out and they all have a short hand which allows them to get to what they want faster and easier. That can’t be replicated with directors who come in for one episode. 
Anonymous said: Over the past month or so, I’ve been seeing so many people cancel Serkan and wanting Eda to leave him forever and move away, but she really never gave up on him and she might finally get him back this week 😭 in fact, Eda and Melo are the only people we’ve seen who have tried to help get his memories back! Everyone who has been friendly to Selin can disinvite themselves to the Edser wedding
I’m glad I didn’t see a bunch of this nonsense myself.  But, honestly, anyone who wants Eda to leave and not end up with Serkan... why are they watching this show to begin with? Did they take a wrong turn somewhere? How did they last this long watching it? We’re 35 episode in and this entire show is their love story, beyond that story and it being a vehicle to showcase Hande and Kerem’s awesome chemistry, it really doesn’t offer many other reasons to watch. 
And yes to jettisoning anyone who was friendly with Selin. PIRIL I’M LOOKING AT YOU. I sure hope Piril finds out exactly how low Selin will sink. She needs to feel ashamed for welcoming her back without question. 
Anonymous said: That fragman for ep 36...part of me wants to hope that it will all be solved pretty soon, since we got edser separated for so long we deserved them together now. But part of me also knows these writers suck so I’m expecting the worst. I just wanted edser together again 😭
I know. When I saw the full fragman my initial reaction was to yell “WHY CAN’T WE HAVE NICE THINGS!!!!!!!”  But I’ve calmed down now. 
It seems to me that we have Serkan and Eda together and working together to figure this mess out, which is good. we have romantic walks on the pier, and Eda spending the night at his place and a sweet breakfast setting with Eda in jammies. All good.  
But then we also have Selin and Deniz refusing to quit.  Selin comes up with the plan that if Deniz doesn’t sign the papers in time, then they will have to get a divorce which means Eda can’t marry for 300 days. So then, what? Deniz steals Serkan’s car and goes on the run? 
What they hope to accomplish with this, I don’t know. Because even if they succeed and Serkan and Eda can’t get married right away, it’s not like they’ll just magically decide that they want to be with those two psychos instead.  I can see Selin doing it just for revenge so she can make them miserable, but what’s Deniz’ motivation? The further psycho he goes, the worse Eda will think of him. Bizarre. 
As for the pregnancy thing. It sounds like Eda must hear that from someone. My money is on Deniz. That’s his Hail Mary to try and drive a wedge between Serkan and Eda. Because seemingly when Eda brings it up, Selin asks where did you hear that. Also, phew, Eda says right away that if its true that Sekan deserves to know, which hopefully will clear things up (because the writers showed us over and over and over again that they weren’t sleeping in the same bed) and it will show Serkan just what kind of crazy he’s dealing with. 
Anonymous said: I was pretty excited after watching the fragman, but surprised when I went on twitter and saw that almost everyone was really upset by it. I’m sure most people know Selin isn’t actually pregnant, but they all still somehow hate the storyline (possibly bc they think it’ll drive edser apart?) idk am I crazy for thinking that we’ll still get good edser moments and them staying together and fighting together? I guess the show needs drama to continue but I’m not mad because I think good edser will outweigh bad/miscommunication edser.
I’m sure we’ll get good Edser moments, but I can’t really fault anyone for being extremely annoyed by this fragman. I think this little plot point will end up not being a big deal at all, however, I can see how it feels like a kick in the face after what we’ve been through the last 7 episodes. It’s like can we get one happy episode? Just one?
Also it’s just very uncomfortable. I’m in the camp that currently thinks it’s impossible for her to be pregnant because they haven’t slept together. He was too fragile and injured before they came back to Istanbul (sleeping on the couch with his PTSD) and after he was too confused and consumed by Eda and just uninterested in Selin. I have to believe they kept showing us them not spending the night in the same place for a reason. 
However, if they were to have had sex, it’s very unsettling because it’s a little too close to him not being able to give consent. It’s Rape by Deception. He had a brain injury, amnesia, was suffering a myriad of traumas and was not in his right mind. He did not have the full set of facts on where their relationship stood, but she did (she knew he wanted nothing to do with her and told her he never loved her and didn’t even want to be friends) and instead of being honest she abused him. She lied to him. She didn’t tell him the truth about what had happened. She isolated him from anyone who could tell him the truth and manipulated him into thinking that she was the only person in the world he could trust and the person he loved and trusted most was untrustworthy and an enemy. 
However, as the audience we know the things she’d done in the past to abuse his trust, and we know for certain if he remembered, he would never consent to sleep with her. Never. So even beyond the cheating and the romance it would rob us of if they did have sex, it’s ICKY and GROSS and none of us want to even think of it.  I don’t expect TV writers in Turkey to be on the forefront of thought when it comes to issues of consent, so I’d rather this door just not be opened at all. 
But here we are, they opened it. Now all we can do it hope that it is a device to hear Serkan say that it isn’t impossible and for Selin to be fully exposed as completely unbalanced and a lying, manipulator.
Anonymous said: the fandom by use of sheer will forced this selin plot line into existence LOL. i swear since the beginning of the memory plot in 29, the "selin will lie to eda she's pregnant" rumor has been constantly making rounds, and i guess it's time to cash in. i will say that i've seen ppl thinking know that somehow serkan and her were intimate even though she's clearly lying.. guys, if there was even a POSSIBILITY she would've used this way back before now and would have told everyone, including serkan.
I agree with this. If this was a card she could play with Serkan, she’d play it. She’s been getting more and more desperate. And in the fragman there she is coming up with ways for Deniz to run away so he can’t sign the papers. If there was something she could hold over Serkan, she would, She’s not because then the con would be up, we’ll just have to wait and see how big of a lie she’s willing to tell. 
Anonymous said: I wonder if Selin was a spy when she was younger! That woman is always watching everything from her car! Even in the new trailer.
Ha! Let’s hope that in the end she’s not a very good spy and they finally get one over on her. Oh please oh please oh please let the stable boy be the one who has the photos and let him have more on her. I want there to be tons of photos of her in her car spying on them. That would be so humiliating for her. 
Seriously, though, who knows what happened to Selin to make her the way she is. Frankly, I don’t think my assessment of her has really changed (most of my old posts on her are tagged with “anti Selin”) She’s just a spoiled, selfish, entitled brat who thinks she should get anything and everything she wants. If she wants Serkan, she should have him, doesn’t matter what he wants or who she hurts, she’ll do whatever she has to do to make that happen. She was probably never told no as a child. So when she’s thwarted she thinks she’s entitled to whatever reaction she wants to have, if that’s ruining other people’s lives, so be it.  No one can be happy if she’s not. 
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