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#she was too close!!!!! and i was doing the military press and in that moment i felt like dying omg
odinsblog · 22 days
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“I first started noticing the journalists dying on Instagram. I'm a journalist, I'm Arab, and I've reported on war. A big part of my community is other Arab journalists who do the same thing.
And when someone dies, news travels fast. Recently, I pulled up the list that the Committee to Protect Journalists has been keeping and looked at it for the first time. There are 95 journalists and media workers on it as of today.
Almost everyone on it is Palestinian. Scrolling through, I started to get angry. These were the people carrying the burden of documenting this whole war.
Israel is not allowing foreign journalists into Gaza, except on rare occasions with military escorts. These people's names are being buried in a giant list that keeps growing. What I want to do is lift some of them off the list for a moment and give you a glimpse of who they were and the work they made.
I'll start with Sadi Mansour. Sadi was the director of Al-Quds News Network, and he posted a 22-second video on November 18. That was a report from the war, but it also gave me a picture into his marriage.
Sadi's wearing his press vest and looks exhausted. He's explaining that cell service and the Internet keep getting cut off, and it's often impossible to text or call anyone, including his wife. So they've resorted to using handwritten letters to communicate while he's out reporting, sending them back and forth with neighbors or colleagues.
He ends the video with a picture of one of these letters from his wife. In it, she writes,
‘Me and the kids stayed up waiting for you until the morning, and you didn't come home. We were really sad.
I kept telling the kids, Look, he's coming. But you didn't show up. May God forgive you.
Come home tomorrow and eat with us. Do you want me to make you kebab or maybe kapse? Bring your friends with you, it's okay.
And give Azeez the battery to charge. What do you think about me sending you handwritten letters with messenger pigeons from now on? Ha ha ha.
I'm just kidding. I want to curse at you, but we're living in a war. Too bad.
Okay, I love you. Bye.’
A few hours after he shared that letter, Sadie and his co-worker Hassouna Saleem were at Sadie's home, when they were killed by an Israeli air strike that hit his house.
His wife and kids, who weren't there, survived.
Gaza is tiny, and the journalist community is really close. Reading the list, you can see all the connections between people. Like with Brahim Lafi.
Brahim was a photojournalist, one of the first journalists to die. He was killed while reporting on October 7. He was just 21, still new to journalism.
On his Instagram, you can see that in his posts just a few years ago, he was still practicing his photography, taking pictures of coffee cups and flowers. Then he started doing beautiful portraits and action shots. You can really feel him starting to become a journalist.
Clicking around on Instagram, I found a tribute post about Brahim from his co-worker Rushdie Sarraj. In this photo, Brahim staring intently at the back of a camera, his face lit up by the light from the viewfinder. He looks so young.
The caption reads, My assistant is gone. Brahim is gone. Rushdie himself was a beloved journalist and filmmaker.
And I know that because he's also on the list. He was killed just two weeks after Brahim. I read the tribute post to him too.
I saw this over and over again. Journalists posting tributes, who were then killed themselves soon after. And a tribute goes up for them.
And then the pattern continues.
Thank you.
Something else I saw over and over on the list, journalists later in the war who had become aware that they could be making their last reports. They'd say it at the beginning of their videos. And those were the hardest to watch, especially when it was true.
One video like that was posted by Ayat Hadduro. Ayat was a freelance journalist and video blogger. Her videos before the war covered a wide range from what I can tell, interviews about women in politics.
She even appeared in a commercial for ketchup-flavored chips. She clearly liked being in front of the camera. Once the war started, Ayat's pivoted to covering bombings and food shortages.
On November 20, she posted a video report from her home. You can hear the airstrikes hitting very close to where she is. It's scary.
‘This is likely my last video. Today, the occupation forces dropped phosphorus bombs on Beit Lahya area and frightening sound bombs. They dropped letters from the sky, ordering everyone to evacuate.
Everyone ran into the streets in the craziest way. No one knows where to go.
But everyone else has evacuated. They don't know where they're going. The situation is so scary.
What's happening is so tough, and may God have mercy on us.’
She was killed later that day.
Targeting journalists, in case you didn't know, is a war crime. So far, the Committee to Protect Journalists has found that three of the journalists on the list were explicitly targeted by the IDF, the Israeli military. Investigations by the Washington Post and Reuters, Human Rights Watch and the United Nations have also raised serious questions in these three cases.
And the Committee to Protect Journalists is investigating 10 other killings. When we reached out to the IDF for comments, they said, quote, the IDF has never, and will never, deliberately target journalists. That's the answer they always give in these situations.
Meanwhile, dozens of seasoned reporters have fled Gaza. Journalists who worked for Al Jazeera, the BBC, the New York Times, the Washington Post, Reuters, Agence France-Presse. So many media offices were demolished in Israeli airstrikes that the Committee to Protect Journalists stopped counting.
It's not just individual lives that have been destroyed. It's an entire infrastructure.
Thank you.
The name on the list that was hardest for me to look at was Issam Abdullah, because I'd crossed paths with him once. Issam was a Lebanese journalist, a video journalist for Reuters for many, many years. He had just won an award for coverage of Ukraine.
I'm Lebanese and still report there sometimes, and I'd worked with Issam a couple of summers ago. He helped me film a sort of random story in Beirut. I was interviewing this entrepreneur who had started a sperm freezing company after an accident where he spilled a tray of hot coffee on his private area, burning himself.
I know, ridiculous. It was a really silly shoot. Right after we said cut and started to rap, Issam started this whole bit about being in his late 30s, reconsidering his own sperm quality and everything he now realized he was doing to hurt it, and no one could stop laughing.
It was a really good day that felt good to remember and to remember him that way. Issam was killed by the IDF on October 13. His death was one of the three that the Committee to Protect Journalists has identified as a targeted killing.
He was fired upon by an Israeli tank while standing in an empty field on the Lebanon-Israel border with a small group of other journalists. Everyone was wearing press vests with cameras out. They were covering the Hezbollah part of this war.
A few other journalists were injured in the attack, which was captured on video. The IDF says they were responding to firing from Hezbollah, not targeting the journalists. But multiple investigations, including by Reuters, the United Nations, Amnesty International and the AFP, found no evidence of any firing from the location of the journalists before the IDF shot at them.
The journalists in the group and video footage confirmed that there was no military activity near them. I had only met Issam once, barely knew him, but it affected me so much when he died. I know that he understood the risks of his job, but somehow it still felt so random and unfair that he would be struck down like that, following the rules, wearing his press vest and helmet, and a pack of reporters on a sunny day in an open field.
I find myself thinking about him all the time. His last Instagram post was commemorating another journalist, this iconic reporter Shereen Abou Aql who had been killed by the IDF. When I first saw that post in October, I thought how ironic because a week later, Isam also was killed by the IDF.
But then, after spending time reading the list, I realized how common this had become. I still haven't finished going through the list and looking up the people on it. I keep finding things that stick with me, like the funny way this one radio host would cut off a caller who was rambling on for too long.
A tweet from reporter Al-Abdallah that quoted Sylvia Plath. It read, What ceremony of wars can patch the havoc? I'm going to keep going down the list, even though this story is over now.
Just for myself. My own way of bearing witness. Which is, in the end, all that these journalists were trying to do.”
—DANA BALLOUT, The 95. Dana sifts through a very long list—the list of journalists killed in the Israel-Hamas war, and comes back with five small fragments of the lives of the people on it. Dana is a Lebanese-American, Emmy-nominated documentary producer.
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tacticaldiary · 8 months
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can you do a ghost x head doctor!reader? kind of that scenario where ghost is like, “i don’t want a regular plain nurse; i want reader 🙄” and reader is like, the head doctor of the medical wing or whatever, and doesn’t usually deal with regular military injuries, but puts up with ghost’s shit anyways? 😋
Superficial Wounds, Deep Devotion
Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader
Genre: Fluff; Hurt/Comfort
"Need me to kiss it better?" She quips with a roll of her eyes.
"I'll take anything you prescribe." Comes the smooth answer. It draws out a snort of laughter from her as she turns around with the gauze.
"All you need is to stop scaring away the field medics." She steps in between his legs, wiping down the cut on his shoulder with disinfectant.
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"Ghost?" Her head snaps up from the clipboard. "What's wrong with him?" She frowns, pushing down the bubbling panic in her chest.
"He's asking for you to treat him in room Q42."
"Is he bleeding?" The urgency itches just below her skin but her cool professionalism doesn't crack. She doesn't deal with superficial injuries, only the most complex cases. She's seen it all. Mangled faces, guts hanging out, disfigured bodies.
So the fact that they were asking for her-...
Wait.
"Is command asking me to see him?" She says slowly.
The soldier shakes his head. "No ma'am. It was a request from the Lieutenant himself."
She releases a slow exhale, relief tingling. "I'll see to it." She dismisses him with a wave, starting down the hall.
Simon had this...habit of seeking her out. It was a perk of his rank, she supposes, but she'd been the only one to treat him ever since they'd encountered each other way back when she was an on-site combat nurse.
It's impossible to forget seeing him for the first time. That skull mask of his was splattered blood red, a bullet wound in his shoulder as he sat on one of the dusty cots in the emergency tents they'd set up in the middle of the desert.
They'd just clicked.
She ended up treating him again after that, and that's when he started personally requesting her.
It hadn't taken long for the spark between them to explode into something intense and loving. He was the anchor to her stressful life, unshakable and a steady presence. She was his person, one of the only people he trusted with his injuries and his heart, the warmth that let him focus on being better.
Swinging open the door without knocking, the man in question sits there in all his glory in front of her.
Admittedly, the first she stares at is his chest. He's shirtless, a cut that she can tell is superficial and non-fatal from all the way by the door.
"You can come inside." His voice is amused and knowing, the bastard.
"Inviting me into my own house?" She swallows, but listens. The door is kicked shut behind her. The moment it's closed he tugs off his mask, the weary lines of his face much more prominent under the harsh fluorescent lighting of the room. "How was your op?" Stopping by the cot he's sitting on to press a quick kiss to his sweaty head, she breezes past him to the medical trolley nearby.
"Fine. Did what we had to." They both know he won't volunteer any more information. Just as she doesn't confide in him with every horrific injury she deals with, he doesn't expose her to the horrific things he has to do. A mutual withholding of information for the peace of mind of both parties.
"Thought you weren't due to come home until tomorrow. I was gonna meet you on the tarmac and everything."
"Surprise." He deadpans, making her snicker.
"You know, for the big bad Ghost you are, you sure need to cause such a fuss about a little cut." Gathering what she needs, she casts him a glance over her shoulder.
"Thought it was your job to make sure I was in the best state possible for deployment?"
She loves this back-and-forth they have. He does too, if the relaxed way he leans back on his arms is anything to go by. It had taken years and years to get to the place they are right now. Years of work, of communication and trust.
"It's my job to take care of the worst, highest profile cases."
"I'd say this is pretty urgent." This playful side of him came out when they were alone.
"Need me to kiss it better?" She quips with a roll of her eyes.
"I'll take anything you prescribe." Comes the smooth answer. It draws out a snort of laughter from her as she turns around with her spoils.
"Can I prescribe you to stop scaring away the field medics?" She steps in between his legs, wiping down the cut on his shoulder with disinfectant. He doesn't wince or cringe or even flinch at the burn, eyes fixed on her face as she works.
"I'm a Lieutenant, I can do what I want."
She pauses, raising an eyebrow. "Are you really pulling rank on me right now?"
He hums, sliding up to hold her hips, tugging her closer. "Don't seem to mind it when we're alone, love." A smirk tugs at his mouth when a flush creeps up the back of her neck. God, he loves that look on her.
"What's gotten into you?" Shaking her head but unable to push down a smile, she works on securing the gauze, taping it down. "Getting clingy, are we now?"
He...well he can't deny it. He doesn't want to tell her the reason for it either, even if she's subtly fishing for answers.
He'd been an inch away from getting shredded by flying shrapnel from a car bomb today.
If Gaz, quick-witted, sharp, Gaz hadn't yelled and yanked him to cover behind a brick wall he would've been embedded with scraps of metal and rusty nails.
Dead, as his namesake.
Ghost wasn't afraid of death. Ghost got up every day ready to not see the sunrise again. Ghost was a cold blooded machine ready to do whatever his orders were.
But Simon wanted to live.
Simon wanted to come home to her. Simon wanted the last thing he saw to be her smile. Simon selfishly wanted her more than any victory his rifle could earn him.
Ghost had been unfazed, Simon had realised the inevitability of the avoided consequence.
Lips press against his bare shoulder. Right, left, and then gently on the gauze. It brings him back to the present, his grip on her tightens for a moment. Her gaze is soft, knowing. Because of course it is. She's the only one who's been able to get into his head like this, been able to crack the code to thoughts he himself doesn't have the key for.
"Any of other glaringly dangerous injuries I need to take a look at?" His eyes follow the smooth line of her neck as she tilts her head towards him. He exhales, shifts, and pulls her closer without warning, banding a strong arm around her.
"Dunno. Think you might have to conduct a comprehensive examination."
She laughs against his lips and goes down with him when he shifts farther up the cot.
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(1/09/2023)
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vanillaberrychills · 6 days
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CW: not proof read, 40 yr old portrayal of König, unprotected sex, alcohol consumption, smut, lmk if more needed. MDNI // fem! reader
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There were very few occasions you had spoken to colonel König. Every occasion being professional, kept short, and without prolonged contact. To be truthful, you were afraid of him. The majority of his life had been spent in the military; most would crumble - he wasn't most. Something about him made you shiver in fear. A cold sweat down your skin, cold goose bumps forming on your skin. Every instinct in your body would tell you to get away.
However, get a few drinks in his system, and he's different. His hand grips yours much more gently, he guides you rather than drag you. "The alcohol makes me calm, schatz."
The emotion expressed through his pretty blue eyes was softer; no longer the feeling that he wanted to eat you alive. And if you did, it was in a much different way. He'd hover over you, pressing his face into his shoulder, murmuring, "Can I please borrow your warmth, my pretty bird?"
A bird. Something he could trap, easily carry in his large hands, the fear of crushing it evident, but he would never close his fist while with you. You could see that much at least. So, what was the harm in letting him take you to his own private quarters. Powerful man like him, didn't even have to share a room, mostly because other soldiers were afraid he'd slaughter them, but you're beginning to learn hes much more gentle than he looks.
"König ..." You'd whisper so softly, so breathlessly as you stared up at him from behind your lashes. Still had that mask on, always wore something to cover his face. Why? Your hand reached up, attempting to lift the mask, to feel the texture of his flesh on your fingertips. And yet, he leaned away, his eyes narrowing just a bit."
"Nein." He was a colonel, after all. You couldn't expect him to be lenient just because you're a pretty little bird he kept. You understood that, and yet your lip still pouted into a frown. Poor bird. König felt guilty now, lifting your chin up to follow his next words. "Close your eyes."
And you did. You knew what it meant. And now you would know what it felt like. His warm breath against your lips, it made your hands tremble, grip to his shirt. A soft, embarrassing, gasp slipped out of you the moment your lips connected. He smirked, just slightly, still a cocky and arrogant man, albeit tipsy. His thumb rubbed against your jaw line, making you whimper just a bit against his kiss, attempting to pull away and part from the kiss.
"Be good." He whispered softly, licking your salvia off his bottom lip before reconnecting with you. You eyes wanted to open, to sneak a peak, but as his fingers tangled in your hair, pulling it down from the messy ponytail you had it in, hands exploring your soft flesh, fiddling with end of your shirt; all thoughts of free will were missing.
König slowly parted, but you chased with a whimper, "Please..more."
A raspy and taunting laugh emitting from him, slightly breathless from your shared kiss. "My pretty bird wants more, does she? Hnm."
He took your hand gently, your eyes fluttering as he moved backwards - toward the bed. His mask still slipped on, though you could see all the arrogance in his slightly glossy, blue eyes. "Disappointed, are we?"
All you could do was let him pull you to his lap, straddling him as his hands rubbed the outline of your ass. His voice whispering into your ear, "I'm an not going to make you cum, my little bird."
Your eyes instinctively shut once more, too nervous to stare, to speak, to breathe. You felt him sink backwards, his hands grasping your hips, the distance giving you the confidence to let your eyes open, to see him laying under you with half lidded eyes.
"You'll have to earn your orgasm, kardinal."
Right. You should serve your generous colonel, so kind of him to let you ride his cock. Your cunt throbbed just a bit, already so needy, so wet just from his little games. A promise to make it feel so good. You couldn't help but cave. Rolling up the pretty bodycon skirt you wore just for work, your pretty panties so soaked from how desperate you were. You prayed he couldn't see your trembling hands reach down to pull his zipper, to lower his pants. God he really made you do all the work.
You bit your lips, feeling his cock pressing between your inner thighs. He was big, bigger than you've experienced before. Your eyes slowly met his, so nervous, shy. But he stared at you expectantly, "You can do it, pretty girl."
You whined quietly, your hand reaching down to guide his cock to your needy entrance. The head of his cock alone created a burning, stretching sensation that felt so fucking good. You mewled out another moan, your back arching as your head tilted back. You were really losing control of yourself, weren't you?
The more of him you felt the more you whined, begged, pleased, "Feels too good."
König tutted softly, lightly spanking your ass as your slick coated his cock, "I know, but you can take it, can't you?"
Your nodded, rubbing your own clit as you eased yourself down, occasionally pulling him out to gather more of your arousal on his cock. Your eyes rolling back as he filled your sensitive cunt with his hot, throbbing, dick. You couldn't speak, listening to his low growls wnd groans as you gained more and more length, bluncing on his cock like an energetic little pup.
"Such a desperate thing aren't you?" His tone hissed through gritted teeth, fingers clawing the flesh at the back of your thigh. He really wanted to just ram into you, bully his cock since your cunny was so needy. But he wouldn't, not today at least. Today was all about you, chasing your own pleasure. A rhythmatic motion from your hips as you rolled them for some sensation, ignoring how tight you squeezed him, pussy begging for his seed. But he was a man, a man who was nearly twenty years your senior, he wouldn't just let you have it.
You had to earn it. Either hand placed on his chest as you adjusted to his size, well, barely that. You were too impatient, rutting his own cock into your leaking cunt, vision blurring as it hit all the special places of your cervix. A white ring of arousal glazed down at the midsection of his cock, seeing as that was all you could manage right now. His balls tight and fat with seed he wanted in you, but you couldn't be greedy now. Not while you had your hands scratching at his shirt, at the sensation of his abs.
You were pathetically reduced to nothing but a cock drunk girl. His hand running down your back as he gently soothed you, "Good...good girl."
"Cum for me."
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jackactuallywrites · 2 months
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Purely Professional
Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Female Medic Reader
Rating: Mature (nothing too explicit but dick is hinted at)
Warnings: Ghost has a boo boo 😔 (blood, facial injury - split cheek and bruising)
Summary: You are the only medic Ghost trusts to treat him. Also you guys are friends with benefits!
Notes: Yes I do always headcanon Ghost with a broken nose. It’s HOT. Also I’m cleaning out the drafts
Word Count: 1,712
ao3 link
“He’s here.”
You didn’t need to ask to know who the other medic was talking about, nodding thanks to the medic as she left, and you quickly finished up with the young woman you were patching up, “You can take ibuprofen as needed, no more than two pills at a time, and space out the dosage to every four hours.” You wrinkle your nose, “I mean, you know how to take ibuprofen, just basic over-the-counter stuff. But come back if there’s any problems.” She nods, “Thanks, Doc.” You weren’t sure how many times you’d specified the difference between a combat medic and a military doctor, but at this point, it wasn’t worth the air, so you just nodded, gesturing for her to take her leave, “Anytime.” She grabbed the pillbox and made her way out of the room, leaving you to clean up the empty wrappings, tossing them into the nearby bin. You tore off the paper that was covering the bed, binning it as well and then rolling out another cover, making sure everything was fresh and clean. When you were satisfied, you walked out of the room into the waiting room, your eyes immediately landing on the one man who didn’t need to be named.
Ghost.
The intensity of his gaze was intimidating, his dark eyes glowering from underneath the skull mask as though he wanted nothing more than to take down every single person who dared to breathe the same air as him. At this point, the other medics had learned that he wouldn’t accept their help, refusing to utter even a single word until you were free. You leaned against the frame of the door that led into the hallway, beckoning him with a jerk of your head. He rose from his seat, seeming to dwarf everyone else around him as he walked through the room toward you, brushing past you without a word and striding straight into the open examination room, the cold silence seeming to emanate off him like a tangible aura, visibly affecting those around him, the other medics shrinking away from him as he passed.
You followed him into the room, closing the door behind you, “So, what can I help you with today, Lieutenant?” He sat down on the bed in the room, resting one forearm on his thigh, gesturing with the other hand to his face, consistently a man of few words. You stepped closer to him, “You’re going to have to give me a little more than that.” He grunted, reaching up to take off his helmet, setting it on the bed beside him, and then unclipping the skull mask, revealing the balaclava underneath. Finally, he pulled off the balaclava, revealing his clipped blond hair, and then his face, bruised and bloody, his cheek split open, blood already dried to his skin. His eyes, thankfully untouched, the black paint surrounding them unmarred, were on you, boring into your face as he watched you.
You didn’t waste time, reaching out to probe his face, your fingers gently holding onto his chin as you turned his head from side to side, inspecting the damage. It looked worse than it was; facial injuries always bled more, and though he tensed when you gently pressed his cheek, there was no sign of anything broken. After taking a moment just to be sure, you drew back from him, walking to the medical cupboard and taking out an antiseptic wipe, talking as you did, “You won’t need stitches.” He grunted, and you took this as permission to begin wiping the blood away from his face.
“So,” you began, always one to make idle chitchat as you worked, “who did you piss off this time?” Ghost watched you, his face solemn, searching your eyes before he responded, his voice barely more than a whisper, “Couple guys.” You smiled as you brushed the wipe over his split skin, “You know if you want to see me, you only have to ask.”
All the tension in his face seemed to ease then, his eyes softening as he looked up at you, “I know.” You took this as permission, gently nudging his legs open so you could stand in between them, closing the distance between you, allowing him to reach out in his own time, and after a brief moment, he did, his hands reaching out to gently rest on your hips, his fingers hesitant, still unused to the intimacy you shared. You cleaned up the rest of the blood on his cheek, giving him time to get used to your close proximity as you brought out a small plaster to cover his wound. In a moment of impulsivity, you pressed a gentle kiss to his damaged cheek, your reward his sharp intake of breath and the tightening of his fingers on your hips, pulling you closer toward him.
“You know,” you began, letting your hands rest on his shoulders, “the other medics are going to think you’re sweet on me.” Ghost let his face rest in the crook of your neck, his voice low, muffled by your shoulder, “I’m not sweet.” You smiled, letting your fingers trace over from his shoulders to the back of his neck, “No? What would you call this?” “Desperate.”
There was no mistaking the longing in his voice, the yearning, the way his fingers pulled you closer to him until your body was pressed against his. Already, his fingers were pulling at your shirt, just like he’d done so many times before, secretive fumbles in whatever vehicle or armoury was nearest, all beginning with some injury he only allowed you to treat, all ending with you wrapped up in his arms. You smiled, shifting one hand to stop his fingers on their insistent path underneath your shirt, “I think they’ll notice if I spend forty minutes in here with you.” Ghost didn’t seem entirely put off by the idea, his face tilting up as his lips began to move over your neck, gently nipping at the skin, his voice husky, “You love this being our dirty little secret, don’t you?”
It was impossible for you to lie to him; after all, he was special forces; no doubt he could sniff out every last secret of yours if he truly wanted to. His hand was already moving from your hip up to your cheek, forcing you to look at him as he pulled away from your neck, his pale eyes searching yours, “Admit it.” Every part of you seemed desperate to touch and be touched by him, and you held back a groan, “Yes. Which is why we can’t do anything in here.” His lips quirked in a smirk, “We wouldn’t want them to think you give this treatment to everyone.” You smiled, “I am supposed to be a professional, after all.” His thumb reached out to brush your cheek, “Couldn’t we both use a little unprofessionalism right now?”
The idea was tempting. Too tempting. You could feel those eyes of his melting away your resolve, and you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, biting the inside of your cheek, “What exactly did you have in mind?” There was a wicked look in his eyes, luring you into sin, to submit yourself to his will entirely, “What I have in mind would make too much of a mess and needs more time than we have.” You tilted your head to the side, curious, “So what do we do?” He was quiet for a moment, his eyes flicking over every single facet of your face, your eyes, your cheeks, your lips. He leaned into you, his nose bumping against yours, letting you feel that little ridge where it had been broken. His words were a murmur against your skin, softer than he ever seemed capable of, “I’ll be content with a kiss for now.”
It never seemed to make sense that a devil could be so sweet; you knew what he was capable of, you’d patched him up, you’d seen his medical records detailing what he’d been through, yet here he was, asking you for that simplest of intimacies. You obliged his simple request, leaning forward to press your lips against his, feeling the slight stubble on his skin prickle yours, his hand shifting from your cheek to the back of your neck, the one on your hip moving to the small of your back to pull you closer to him, encircling your body, his lips soft against yours, yet insistent, needy. He pulled away before you, leaning his forehead against yours, letting out a strained sigh, his hand moving from your back to his crotch, adjusting his trousers to disguise the growing bulge there. “The things you do to me.” His voice held some frustration, his fingers tightening on the back of your neck but loosening just as quickly, always in complete control of himself.
You could see the Lieutenant return, the way his back straightened, the grim determination returning to his lips. His hands fell away from your body, reaching for the balaclava and mask he’d put to the side, and you knew your time with him was coming to a close. You stepped back from him, tucking in your shirt, allowing him to resume that persona, covering his bruised face with the black balaclava and then finishing with clipping his skull mask back into place, his helmet finishing the transformation. All that remained of him were those soft eyes, out of place, surrounded by blackness. He reached up with one hand to tuck a loose hair back under your beret, his gloved fingers gently stroking against your cheek. “I’ll be seeing you.”
There was no doubt that he would find you to finish what you’d started here, but for now, he was back to business, standing up off the table and straightening out his uniform. You crossed the room to open the door for him, allowing the outside world view into your privacy, not that there was anything for them to see. He stalked past you without a word, yet as he passed, his hand reached out to gently squeeze your arse, sending tingles up your spine as he left you wanting, trying hard not to look like a lovesick dog as you watched him go.
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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 4 months
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The Danger Zone (Part 14) - Hangman
Pairing: Hangman / Fem!Bradshaw!Reader | OC
Word Count: 4.8k
This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ ONLY.
Warnings: Unplanned Pregnancy; Military Inaccuracies; Daddy and Mommy Issues Galore; Arguing; Crying; Angst; Screwed Up (Seresin) Family Dynamics Discussed; Use of "You," No Use of Y/N, No Set Physical Description
Summary: You and Jake spend some time apart. Maverick offers his help.
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You called out of work the next day, knowing that you were in no shape to go. Closer to lunch time, after you'd wallowed for a time, Maverick drove you over to Jake’s apartment and packed up a few things while Jake was out. You didn’t take everything, just a few days' worth of clothes and necessities, before heading back to Maverick’s house to wallow some more.
Burying your face into your pregnancy pillow, you looked up when the door to your room opened. You sat up when you saw Penny standing there. And when she walked over and sat on the edge of your bed, you couldn’t help but latch onto her.
Penny pulled you close and rubbed your back as you cried, sharing a worried look with Maverick. He leaned against the doorframe, looking like he didn’t know what to do. Penny gave him a look, glancing down at you, before returning the same look to Maverick.
He nodded and walked away to make a call.
While Penny led you outside, Maverick stood on the front steps with his phone to his ear. He knew that it was the middle of the day, but he was still hoping that there was a chance.
“Hey, Mav, what’s up?” Javy answered calmly after a few rings.
“I’m assuming that you’ve heard,” Maverick stated bluntly, causing Javy to sigh.
“Yeah, I’m putting out my own fires over here,” Javy stated, glancing over at Jake’s office.
Jake was furiously writing away at forms and typing paperwork into his computer, barely taking a moment to blink. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night and hadn’t eaten anything, save for three cups of coffee. He was in no shape to do anything. Javy would tackle him to the floor himself before letting him into a plane in this state.
“How’s she doing?” Javy asked Maverick.
“I haven’t seen her like this in a long time. And I don’t ever want to see her like this again.” Maverick glanced back at the house before turning back to the street. “What happened, Coyote?”
“His mom wrote him a letter.”
“And?” Maverick pressed a bit more, not seeing the connection.
“Jake doesn’t really have a traditional relationship with his parents. And for good reason on his part. And he needs to tell her about it, but he’s not exactly the most emotionally intelligent guy.”
Javy gestured for Fanboy to carry in another stack of files into Jake’s office. Jake didn’t look up, working through the paperwork in front of him like a robot on rocket fuel. Fanboy hesitated for a moment but with another sharp look from Coyote, Fanboy turned to Jake.
“Hey, Hangman, we’re kind of falling behind, so I was wondering—”
“—Just put it on the pile, Fanboy,” Jake stated, not even looking up.
Fanboy dropped the stack and walked out, shooting Javy a thumbs up that Javy returned. Glancing worriedly at Jake again, Javy turned away to continue his conversation with Maverick.
“He’s not anywhere near a plane right now, right?”
“No, I’m making sure of that," Javy promised him.
“It might be a good idea to keep Rooster away from him too.”
“Already on it,” Javy replied, watching his wife march Rooster down the hall to go and teach lessons today. Far away from Jake. “I’ve got it handled here but I’m worried about him when he gets off.”
“I should warn you that we went over, and she took her stuff.”
“She’s already decided to move out?” Javy asked, starting to panic.
“No, she just needed some time and some of her things for now. But I'm worried that if he sees her stuff gone, it might set him off.”
“Alright, I’ll drag him home with me and Phoenix.”
“Actually, Coyote, I was wondering if you think that Jake would come with me for a drive tonight?” Maverick suggested, causing Coyote to pause for a moment. “If you think that he needs more time, he needs more time. I trust your judgment.”
“Tomorrow,” Coyote decided after a moment. “Come to my house in the morning. Before he has a chance to get worked up.”
“Alright. Keep me updated, Coyote.”
“You too, Mav.”
Hanging up the call, Maverick walked back inside the house and paused when he saw you and Penny out on the back porch. You seemed to have stopped crying, but you looked so broken that it felt like a direct punch to Maverick’s gut.
You were the little girl that Goose and Carole hoped and begged for. You were the little girl that Goose continually sobbed over when he got a photo of you from the hospital, having missed your birth. You were the little girl that he then proceeded to sob over at the airport in Miramar when he got to hold you for the first time. You were the little girl that Goose swore up and down that he’d protect and love and definitely not let you anywhere near naval aviators.
And when Goose died, Maverick took up that mantle in his place. And he wasn’t going to let you, or Goose, or Carole down.
They were going to fix this. Someway. Somehow.
~~~~~
Bradley, as soon as he saw that something was off with Hangman, knew that something was probably off with you too. And when you didn’t answer his call, he went looking for you after work. He drove by your apartment and after a quick scan of the parking lot, moved on.
And when he saw your car parked in Maverick’s driveway, he pulled in. Getting out of the Bronco, he walked around the back and entered through the side door. Rooster spotted you standing in the kitchen, pouring yourself a drink. You looked up at the sound of footsteps before looking right back down, defeat written all over your features.
“Where’s Mav?” Bradley asked, looking around.
“He went out to grab dinner. Did you need him for something?”
“No, I came to check on you.”
“Why would you do that?” you asked, adding some ice cubes.
“Well, Hangman seemed off today.”
“Did he?” you questioned quietly.
“Yeah.” Bradley waited a moment before asking, “What happened between you guys?”
“Why? So that you can run off and yell at him?” you scoffed haughtily. “Or make some comment to him tomorrow in front of everyone and watch him bite his tongue? Or finally explode?”
“Are you okay?” Bradley asked you worriedly.
“Yeah, Brad. I’m really fucking peachy,” you snapped, causing him to wince. “Look at how okay I am. I’m living out of a bag in Mav’s house after having a massive fight with my boyfriend while I’m nearly six months pregnant with his baby. And one of the things that we were fighting about just so happened to be about how hard my family was on him. Comparing him to my ex. Making him feel like he wasn’t good enough to be with me. Telling him that he was going to be a shit dad.” Placing your hands on your hips, you glared at your brother. “Does any of that sound familiar, Bradley?”
When he didn’t respond, you grabbed the paper towel roll off the holder and threw it at Bradley’s head. And when that bounced off his arm, you reached over and yanked the dish towels off the oven and chucked them at him too. Bradley walked around the cabinets and grabbed the loaf of bread before you could throw it at him too.
“Just put the bread down,” Bradley tried to coax you, worried that you’d grab a knife next.
“Why the fuck did you say that shit to him!?” you yelled, pushing your brother in the chest.
Bradley called your name softly, but you kept pushing him away or trying to hit him. And when he grabbed your wrists gently, you finally broke down. Bradley, not sure what to say, just pulled you in for a hug. You didn’t fight him on that one.
“I love him, Bradley,” you sobbed, your whole body shaking. “Why’d you say that to him?”
“I’m sorry,” Bradley replied a few moments later.
“Are you? You wanted us to break up and now he’s probably shut down completely and is packing up the rest of my stuff in his apartment as we speak.”
“No, he’s not.”
“How do you know? Do the two of you talk now?”
“After your last appointment, he showed the whole squad and about half of the department the ultrasound. I had several people ask me if he had an identical twin brother playing a prank on everyone because he wasn’t acting like his usual asshole self.” Bradley paused for a moment before adding, “A man who’s that excited about his baby isn’t just going to walk away after a little fight.”
You slowly stopped crying, but you didn’t let go of your brother. And he didn’t let go of you. It kind of reminded you of when he came back home to grab some more of his stuff after his fight with Maverick. You were home and tossed everything but the kitchen sink at him for not calling you to tell you that he was alright.
“Everyone has fights. Emma kicked my ass out onto the couch before. We got through it. You’ll get through it too.”
Maverick walked in with a bag of food, not surprised to see Bradley standing there with you. You and Bradley slowly released each other, and you reached to grab a tissue, but paused when they weren’t at their usual spot. You must have thrown them at Bradley.
“I found them,” Maverick called, grabbing the box from behind the kitchen table.
~~~~~
Jake stared at the ceiling of Javy and Nat’s guest room. He hadn’t slept for more than three hours before the nightmares woke him up. You still hadn’t reached out to him, and he took that to mean that you decided to break up with him and the next time that he’d get to see you was in court about child support.
Well, at least he wasn’t crazy to assume that it could all blow up.
Getting out of bed, Jake got dressed. He usually went for a run after he woke up, but he didn’t even care anymore. He just wanted a coffee. But with his current streak, he’d fuck that up too. Not even bothering to shave, Jake headed out to the kitchen. He heard Phoenix and Javy already up and talking.
But when he turned the corner, Jake was surprised to see Maverick standing there.
“Morning, Jake,” Javy greeted him, placing a cup of coffee down.
Jake walked over quietly, reaching for the coffee. He didn’t respond verbally and simply stared down Maverick, waiting for him to explain his presence.
“Morning, Jake,” Maverick repeated in greeting.
“What are you doing here, Mav?” Jake asked, a bit defensive, but mostly exhausted.
“I came to ask if you were free for a chat,” Maverick replied calmly.
“Do I have a choice?”
“Of course, you have a choice, Jake.”
“Should I bring my photo ID? Or would you prefer to make it a little difficult for whoever drags my body out of the ditch to identify me?”
“You can bring whatever you want.” Maverick glanced between Jake, Javy, and Phoenix before moving to leave. “I’ll wait out in the car.”
Jake turned to Javy and Phoenix, who stared at him with encouraging looks as Maverick walked out of the house. Jake took a sip of his coffee before setting the cup down.
“Did you call him?” Jake grumbled, causing Javy to sigh.
“He called me because he’s worried about her.”
“What do you mean? Is she hurt? Is the baby hurt?” Jake asked urgently, but Phoenix quickly shut it down.
“No, just emotionally.”
“You talked to her?” Jake asked her.
“I texted her,” Phoenix answered honestly. “She responded, but not much.” After sharing a look with her husband, Phoenix added, “And she asked me about you. So, if you want to repair your relationship with her, go for the drive with Maverick.”
“You have nothing to lose by doing it,” Coyote added, causing Jake to look to where Maverick’s car was parked in the driveway.
~~~~~
Jake didn’t know what to think about Maverick taking him for a drive. He just sat and stared. Maverick started driving up the coast, letting Jake stew in the silence, before pulling off the coastal road. It was a random barren pull off with a stretch of sand beyond the pavement that wasn’t even a body length wide.
Jake guessed that Maverick wanted him to swim with the fishes.
They walked to the edge of the lot together, though they made no move to break the silence. Jake stared down at the dark waves, waiting for Maverick to speak. But Maverick was too busy staring off into the distance.
“What is this place?” Jake asked quietly.
“It’s the closest point to where my accident happened. The one that ended the life of my best friend. And the maternal grandfather of your child.”
“Why’d you bring me here?” Jake questioned quietly, sounding like he was walking on eggshells. “Do you even bring them here?”
“I brought Bradley here once. Not long after their mom died. But I never brought her here. I’m sure that Bradley mentioned it to her, but she never asked me to take her here.” A breath of silence passed between them before Maverick added, “I come out here to reflect. I guess it’s a type of therapy for me.”
“Why did you bring me here?” Jake asked again.
“You’re having a baby with my goddaughter. That means that you’re part of our unconventional family now. And despite what you may think about us, we know that we’re not perfect. We’re far from it.”
Maverick stared out at the waves, lost in his thoughts for a moment.
“My father died in Vietnam. He was a pilot and crashed after a dogfight. The State Department ran his name through the mud and sent my mother into a downward spiral. She died less than a year after my father. And then I went into foster care.”
Maverick turned to look at Jake out of the corner of his eye, though Jake did not return his stare.
“The only point that I’m trying to prove to you is that whatever you’re worried about sharing with her about your past, she’s not going to care. Your parents don’t define you. Their lives don’t define yours. And they’re not going to change how she feels about you.”
Maverick turned to Jake, his serious expression hidden by his sunglasses. Jake didn’t return his gaze directly, but his body did tilt more towards Maverick to show that he was listening.
“But she mentioned that you told her that you were trying to ‘protect’ her from your parents, which, as her godfather, raises some concerns.” Maverick folded his arms behind his back. “I don’t need any specifics. All I need to know is whether my goddaughter and her child are in any kind of physical danger.”
“They're not”
“Then what are you referring to?”
“My parents, the type of bullshit that they would try to pull would be financial. They would try to stop the transfer of any of my assets to her and the baby. At least ones that I inherited. They’re not the mafia, just some old money assholes trying to keep their wealth.”
“And the baby? They wouldn’t try any bullshit with the baby, right?” Maverick asked seriously.
“They wouldn't fight for custody. We’re not married and she’s not a choice that they would have ever made for me. They’d probably try to prove that the baby isn’t mine or do something else to cut off any sort of inheritance or child support from me or my estate. They wouldn’t want anything to do with the baby beyond that.”
“We can work with that,” Maverick stated calmly. “But you need to tell her what you told me and even more. If the two of you are going to raise a baby together and deal with whatever your parents throw at you, you need to be on the same page. And we’ll support you through it. All three of you.”
Jake nodded slowly, staring out at the waves in the distance before he looked down at his shoes.
~~~~~
You sat out on Maverick’s back porch in the shade, reading a book when you heard a car pull into the driveway. You assumed that it was just Maverick.
But when Jake came walking around the corner, you completely forgot about your book. Jake slowly walked over to you, stepping up onto the deck, and slowly sat down in the seat across from you. The two of you stared at each other for a moment in silence until Jake finally bucked up the courage to speak.
“Can we talk?” Jake asked softly.
“Yeah,” you returned quietly, shifting in your seat. “Of course, Jake.”
“How are you feeling today?” he awkwardly asked.
“Can we please cut past the small talk?” you inquired, causing Jake to pause, looking a bit surprised. A bit embarrassed, you rephrased your sentiment. “Sorry. I just really want to talk about our fight. It’s been eating away at me since I left.”
“I get it.”
Jake pulled out the envelope that set off a bomb in your relationship. He stared down at it for a moment before leaning over and holding it out to you. You started to reach out but hesitated.
“Read it,” Jake insisted, leaning further forward.
“Are you sure?” you asked quietly, gently taking the envelope from him.
“I want you to read it.”
You slowly opened the envelope and pulled out the card. It started out as a normal card would. But there were a few lines that jumped out at you that were distinctly odd. And by the end of it, you were more confused than you were when you started. You looked up at Jake and handed the card back to him. He placed it on the table between you and stared down at it, getting ready to begin his speech.
“I haven’t talked to my mom in five years. I wasn’t lying about that. But she has sent me a few cards, usually for my birthday, since then. Similar to this one. I’ve ignored them because I was happier without them in my life.” Jake slowly turned back to you. “And the reason why I stopped talking to my mom is because she is an extension of my father.”
Jake looked away for a moment, thinking over his next words carefully, before turning back to you. You were sitting calmly across from him, hands folded in front of your bump.
“My father is the type of guy to make his own kid call him ‘sir’ around the house. He wasn’t caring. He wasn’t ever there for me, except when I won an award or did well. And I caught him cheating on my mom at least three times myself.”
“Does she know that he’s cheating on her?” you asked softly.
“She’s known since the first affair. He’s not exactly a discreet guy. But she’s stayed with him for three reasons—her image in their community, her religion that preaches that divorce is a sin and a bunch of other bullcrap, and because he’s manipulated her into thinking that she owes him.”
“What does she owe him for?” you asked, growing more confused and concerned.
Jake paused, rubbing his hands together. He turned back to you and straightened up.
“Because she could never give him the biological son that he wanted more than anything else in the world,” Jake stated, causing you to blink rapidly.
“But . . . you . . .”
Jake let you fumble for a moment before finally dropping the bomb that he had held inside of him pretty much every day since he found out the news himself all those years ago.
“I’m adopted,” Jake explained calmly. “And you’re only the second person that I’ve ever told.”
“Jake, I never would have cared if you were adopted or not,” you reassured him. “And if I ever did, I’m sorry.”
“You never did. And I wasn’t scared to tell you that I was adopted. I was worried about explaining the story that comes along with it.”
Jake rubbed the back of his neck slowly, trying to figure out the best way to tell you.
“My parents tried to have a baby naturally for three years to no success. My father threatened to divorce my mother because she couldn’t give him a baby. And the bastard never stopped to consider the fact that he might be the problem.”
You sat back quietly, hearing the anger build in Jake’s tone and giving him the space to let those thoughts out.
“He never got any of his mistresses pregnant. If he did, he would have divorced her in a heartbeat and claimed that kid as his true son. And he could have easily pulled it off with a paternity test on me. No one else knew that I was adopted. He would have claimed that my mom got pregnant with another man’s baby and he probably would have gotten away with it. Maternity tests aren’t exactly common outside of adopted children and my mom was never going to expose the secret to the world.”
“There wasn’t any paperwork to say that you were adopted? Nothing?” you asked curiously.
“No, because my manipulative father and desperate mother did it all under the table. They found a woman who was unexpectedly pregnant. Vulnerable. Desperate. Apparently, she couldn’t tell her family about the baby and the father was gone. My mother took her to a doctor and paid for an ultrasound. Discovered that the woman was pregnant with a boy. And so began the sham.”
He couldn’t bear to look at you, afraid of what he would see in your eyes. But now that he had started, he wasn’t sure that he could stop until it was all out there and in the open.
“They took her in until she had the baby. They hid her away with my mother away from everyone for months to build up the story. And after I was born . . . they coerced her into giving me up. They told her that they would give me a better future than she ever would. They offered her money for her troubles and to write a letter to sell whatever story she told her family. And two weeks after I was born, she left.”
Jake stared at the ground for a long moment and only looked up when he heard you move. Picking his head up, Jake watched you as you slowly walked over to him. You hesitated when you drew close, but Jake didn’t pause when he reached out for you. Finding your seat in his lap, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.
“The only thing that I can think to say . . . is I’m sorry,” you whispered, causing Jake to pull you closer. “That’s awful, that’s-that’s . . . psychotic. Criminal. Absolutely disgusting. I—” You cut yourself off, focusing on Jake in your arms again. ���I’m so sorry, Jake.”
The two of you sat there for a long moment, just processing your conversation. You focused on rubbing Jake’s back and slowly combing your hand through his hair to try and soothe him. You could feel how tense he was and had to wonder how much he had worked himself up to tell you those dark secrets.
Jake didn’t say anything, keeping his face buried in the juncture of your neck. His arm was solid on your back, keeping you supported and close with his hand curled protectively around your bump.
Feeling Jake pick his head up, you turned to meet his gaze, letting him set the tone. He took another breath, leaning back and pulling you further into his lap and you had no qualms about curling up against his chest. You didn’t even realize how much you missed the simplest details about him.
“I don’t plan on ever inviting them back into my life,” Jake began, causing you to nod supportively. His voice cracked a bit as he continued, “And I know that you pictured a life with a guy who didn’t have such a fucked up family and past and—”
“—Jake,” you cut in, tears building in your own eyes. Cupping his cheeks with your hands as a tear slipped down Jake’s cheek, you let a few fall yourself. “I don’t care about any of that. It doesn’t matter what I pictured before I met you. You’re my baby’s father and you’re the man that I love and I don’t care about how your family is. I just care about you.”
“You love me?” Jake asked you softly.
“I love you, Jake Seresin,” you repeated with more confidence in your tone.
“You’re not going to leave me for being a complete asshole to you?” Jake added, his voice breaking again. “Because I hate myself for that. I hated that I said that the second that those words left my mouth.”
“Of course, I’m not leaving you, Jake,” you practically sobbed, tears quickly streaming down your cheeks. “I love you. I don’t want to leave you.”
“I love you too,” Jake returned softly, surprised by the amount of emotion in his voice. “I love you. I love our baby. And I don’t want to do anything else to jeopardize it and risk losing you. Because I can’t lose you. I can’t lose either of you.”
“You’re not,” you promised him, pulling him in for a tight hug again. “We’re not going anywhere.”
“I was stressed and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I just—when Cyclone told me about my promotion, he told me that there was a higher chance that I could get deployed over the next few weeks or months.”
“Jake,” you whimpered softly, drawing your fingers down his cheek. “It wouldn’t be your fault.”
“It would feel that way.”
“But it wouldn’t be,” you told him firmly. “I know that you want to be there, Jake. I’m not going to hold that against you. I knew that was a possibility. And I don’t want you to hold that against yourself, alright?”
“But—”
“—Alright,” you pressed more.
The two of you latched onto each other, letting your tears dry and fade. You felt Jake press a kiss to your neck and leaned into the touch when you suddenly jolted in his lap.
“What? What’s wrong?” Jake asked you quickly, causing you to smile.
“Nothing’s wrong. They’re just moving again. They scared me.” Moving Jake’s hand to rest over the side of your bump that your child was active around, even though he wouldn’t be able to actually feel them, you rested your head on his chest. “They weren’t moving around as much when I was here.”
“Do you need to go to the doctor?” Jake asked, staring worriedly down at your bump.
“I called yesterday. They said just to monitor them and to relax a little bit more. And they were right because now our child’s moving around again.” You leaned back against him as he curled his arm around your bump. “They’re going to be a handful? Aren’t they?”
“More than likely,” Jake agreed, sharing a smile with you before turning back to your bump. “But stop scaring your mom. Do you hear me?” After a moment, Jake turned back to you. “Can they hear me?”
“I think so. At my last appointment, they said that the baby should be responding to sound soon.”
Leaning down more so that he could speak directly to your bump, Jake repeated his earlier message, causing you to laugh. He picked his head back up and turned to you, smiling softly. You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He, in turn, pressed a kiss to your lips that you happily accepted.
“Do you think that you’re ready to come home with me?” Jake asked, causing you to nod quickly. “Then let’s get you packed.”
Jake got you packed in about ten minutes and as you pulled your snacks out of the cupboards, Maverick came walking back inside. He paused by the door, hanging up his keys, before walking over.
“You’re heading home?”
“Yeah. Thanks for taking me in for a little bit,” you replied softly.
“You’re always welcome.”
You pulled Maverick in for a hug and whispered your thanks again. Maverick gave you a squeeze and looked up when Jake came walking around the corner with your bag. Releasing you, Maverick stepped aside and let the two of you out the door.
“Drive safe.”
“We will,” you promised him, smiling over your shoulder at your godfather.
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nsharks · 1 year
Text
bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part seven —other parts
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pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader words: 3.3k tags: death. blood. zombies of course. reader menstruates. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn't here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: some chill stuff before more angst ya know
The next morning, it is your turn to slip a treat into Blue’s hand.
You can tell by her expression that the Twix bar is like gold to her. Her teeth sink in. She stifles a moan. She hisses a swear you haven’t heard yet— Fucking noodles.
It reminds you of the time Paul found a Cadbury egg for Joseph. You smile as you watch, the kind where your teeth manage to poke through and your cheeks have to do some stretching. Ghost is chopping wood somewhere on the other side of camp, but still, you decided to close the shed’s door. 
Last night, you were too worn to stay in the cabin for long. You left just after Ghost shucked on some large helmet with two strange eyepieces attached to it. To see in the dark, Blue explained in a whisper. Of course he would have that. When you asked him where he was going, he’d mumbled under his breath, Gonna make sure you didn’t have any bloody followers. You hadn’t even thought of that. He must not have thought of it until you actually showed up, either. He expected you not to make it.
You don’t know how long he was out there, but by the fact that you’d woken up to his axe chopping wood instead of heads, you figured the territory was clear.
“Better than Nutella?” you ask Blue.
Grey light streaks through the shed and over her face. The smell of potential rain looms in the air.
“That’s a tough question,” she says, licking the residue from her lips. She’s eaten half. She folds the wrapper over to cover the rest and hands it to you. Sweets like these are rare. You told her you’d keep it in your bag until she wanted the rest.
“I think it’s a strong tie,” she decides and then groans, moving her chin to the dip of her folded knees. “I wish chocolate could be hunted.”
“Me, too.”
“Are you sure you don’t want the rest?” She sounds guilty. “It is your Twix.”
“No, really. It’s a thank you.” Your knee gives a nudge to hers. “As if you haven’t given me food that is yours before.”
The guilt turns into a smile.
“You know,” she then says, eyes flicking to your pillowcase bag of looted goods. “When I was looking at your clothes last night, I got an idea of how you could fix them. Can I—” she tilts her head, “Can I show you something?”
She leaves Grim with you as she departs to collect whatever it is she has to share. It turns out to be a magazine of all things. She clutches it to her chest, rolling her lips together before turning it around to show you. The bright ink is faded a little. The corners bent and worn. The date of the issue reads March 2018. There is a woman on the front - some model you can’t remember the name of - clad in a tight blue dress.
The sight is just as weird as the abandoned streets and homes. For a moment, you look down at the skin of your hands, abraded from your bowstring, and press your lips.
“Remember how I told you Ghost and I went to a military base once?” Looking back up, you nod. “Well, we were mainly there to get ammo but we also went through the barracks— that’s where they slept.”
She explains it as if you have no clue, which you don’t. Never in your life did you care about the military, except for that first day when you hoped they might come to find you in some big tanks or something. They didn't.
Blue giggles. “I found this in one of the men’s old dorms.”
When she sees your expression, she says, “It’s okay. I’m not stupid. Ghost told me his old teammates liked to look at pictures of pretty women sometimes when they got bored. Anyway, I’ve looked through it so many times. I like all the fancy clothes people used to wear.”
She begins to flip through the pages and points out a few things. Where before you sometimes zoned out, your mind distracted by survival, this time you listen fully. One page has an ad with lush grass in the background and she informs you that the shade of green is her favorite color.
“Not blue?”
“That is my name, not my favorite color." Her nose scrunches. "What is yours?”
Do you even have one? You think for a moment. What comes to mind are the flowers your mother used to grow at the house in Norbury.
“Violet,” you softly say. “Like the flowers.”
“Huh?”
“They are like… a bluish purple.”
“Oh! There are some flowers like that by the pond sometimes. Hopefully, they come back this year."
Another page she points to has people laying on a white beach with crystal-like water. Blue says she hopes to go there someday. Not to just any beach. That beach.
When she passes an ad with a young man’s face on it - someone about your own age - she pauses for a moment and looks up.
"Do you think he is cute?" she asks. A tender curiosity.
"Um," you can't remember the last time you saw a man's face besides Paul. Ghost is always covered. She holds the page up so you can see it better. A sharp jaw. Dark hair and a strong nose.
"Yeah, he is very cute. Do you think so?"
She nods and bites her lip. "Did you… have a husband before shit happened?"
"What?" You frown. "I'm not that old."
"A boyfriend, then?"
"I had," you search the memories. They feel unimportant. Buried. "I had a few people who I enjoyed spending time with in uni."
"Like sex?"
You almost choke. "What?"
"I am not stupid," she says again. "The rabbits. They do it all the time. Ghost told me that's how they have their babies, and that is how him and my mum had me."
Oh. This is the first time Blue has ever mentioned her mother and you don't know why, but it makes your stomach tight. But she doesn't add anything else about her, as if she'd just told you the sky is blue or Grim is her friend. Something so casual. Brushed aside. As if, she hadn't mentioned it at all.
You don't pry about it.
Not to a kid. Trauma, grief— you can only imagine what a young brain has decided to do with them. But for a moment, your brain tries to imagine what kind of woman it could have been, what kind of woman Ghost enjoyed spending his time with. The only thing you can picture is Blue's eyes. She clearly didn't get them from him.
Blue moves on from the picture of the man. The page she really meant to show you is of a woman wearing jeans with a belt around them. She points to it and explains you could try something like that for the jeans you found.
Right. Jeans. Along with the blouse you grabbed, you got an ugly pink sweater and some jeans that won’t fit you.
"That’s called a belt," you say. “I don’t have one.”
“I have an old shoelace,” Blue says. “How about that?”
“That could work.”
Blue tells you bluntly that you need to bathe first. You smell like those fucks, no offense. You take your new clothes and she finds you a rag. In the bathroom, you harshly scrub your skin to erase the smell of rot. You wash your hair which is slick with sweat.
On your wrist, you notice a light bruise growing where that Grey had grabbed you. Luckily, you were too tired last night for your brain to conjure up any nightmares, otherwise, you probably would've had one about it biting you. Even a bite to just your hand - to a finger - would be enough for the virus to enter the bloodstream. You don’t want to admit it, but with that revolver, Ghost saved your life again. 
After bathing, you slip on the blouse and a pair of too-big jeans. Blue gives you the shoelace. You feed it through the belt loops. It works well enough. The pantlegs fall past your ankles so you roll them. You tuck the large blouse so the excess fabric won’t get in the way while you hunt. The sweater… you don’t bother with it for now. It’s not warm enough. You will stick with Paul’s old coat when you go outside. 
You look in the mirror again.
You stroke your own cheek, looking yourself over. You smooth your hands over the clothes. Underneath, you feel the plush of your breasts. The muscles of your stomach. The curves of your ribs. You are almost back to your normal weight, but it is still evening out. Under your eyes, the skin remains grey. Floorboards and stress will do that to a person.
"Let me see," Blue says on the other side of the door before you open it. You can still hear Ghost chopping wood outside.
“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.” She touches the sleeves. “These are pretty long. They will get in the way when you shoot arrows, right?”
You nod. “Can you bring me the scissors?”
After you cut the sleeves down to your wrists, Blue picks up the scraps of fabric. “Hey, you could tie your braids with these. Like ribbons.”
"I could," you shrug and give a smile. "But I think they would look nicer on you."
The shyness returns as she nods. Gently, you guide her in front of the mirror and begin working your fingers through her hair, just as you do most evenings.
You notice her staring in the mirror with studious eyes as if she is trying to understand exactly what she sees. You wonder if she ever compares herself to those girls in the magazine. An eleven-year-old you certainly used to.
"You look very pretty, Blue."
"It doesn't matter if I do," she shrugs. "It's not like anyone will ever actually get to see me."
"Well," you swallow, "I get to see you right now, and I think you are pretty."
"Thanks.” She accepts the compliment with a puckered expression, before it softens and she adds, "I think you are, too, Twix.”
Twix?
But before you can question it, you hear the front door shut and realize that the sound of chopping wood has been gone for at least a minute. It is clearly Ghost entering the cabin.
You drop your hands before you can finish the braids, stepping back. 
He calls out her name.
Recalling the rifle he pointed at you yesterday, you whisper to Blue, "Maybe you should go out before he—“
But of course, his heavy boots approach. The dark shadow of him materializes in the bathroom's doorway, consuming the space with his head dipped down to fit.
You turn around to face her father at the same time Blue does. His brows are drawn low and in one hand he carries the axe. You notice a sheen of sweat at the bridge of his nose where his mask begins.
The thing is, you try to avoid being spotted alone with Blue like this. She talks to you in your shed. You interact when he is busy with things.
Ghost reaches for Blue’s hand. He gently tugs her to him. He cups the back of her head and bends down to meet her level, though he is still much taller.
"Remember what we talked 'bout?”
What did they talk about?
"I remember," she mumbles. She tugs her arm away. "I was just helping her with her new clothes.” Smoothly, she changes the topic. “What do you think? The shoelace was my idea."
Blue. You almost groan, feeling his dark eyes slowly shift over to you. You think you would rather him press the axe to your throat than share his opinion about your clothes— they aren’t exactly like what the models in Blue’s magazine wore. His stare rarely does anything other than burn holes through your skin, so it is no surprise when you feel the heat through your blouse, up your neck, and all the way to your cheeks.
You look down at your feet.
Then, a bitter memory comes to mind.
You look like you're one 'em already.
That is what Ghost said once.
For a brief moment, you wonder if he still thinks it.
He doesn’t give an answer. All he does is clear his throat. Your strange curiosity fades as he stands and looks down at his daughter. 
"C'mon, kid. Start the fire with me."
"No, not yet. She needs to finish my hair, Ghost."
He allows it, but remains in the doorway, watching as you finish her braids, using the fabric as floral bows to tie them off. 
It looks nice.
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It rains just like you thought it would.
Not too heavy, but enough to cut your hunt short for the day, earning you only one squirrel.
When you return to camp, you find Blue crouched over the wood planter as she covers the sodden soil with a layer of mulch. Apparently, Ghost had her plant some cabbage seeds before the rain. The mulch is to stop the seeds from washing away, she explains.
Spring will soon arrive. With it, some crops to add to their meals. Good for them. Maybe you can convince Ghost to lend you a seed or two to plant for yourself. 
After dinner, you sit by the fireplace with your boots off in order to warm your toes. The soft drum of rain against the cabin's walls lulls you into a trance as you listen to Ghost quietly read to Blue. Sometimes he points to words for her to try.
Tonight it is a book you recognize.
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
Your father read it to you once. A younger version of yourself told him it was too boring. But now you find yourself quite liking the story about a magic wardrobe where kids can escape to another world.
Blue falls asleep on the couch. Ghost carries her to bed like usual. It is your time to leave. The rain has died down some but you already know the water has probably leaked into your shed. Lovely. 
But again you are stopped by a hand around your arm. 
You turn to see Ghost. He clutches the map in the other hand.
“Um. What is it?”
You slip your arm away, his grip allowing it. Is he mad about you hanging out with Blue? Did he discover your secret exchanges? Is he going to finally kick you out since you didn't die like he probably hoped?
“Sit with me.”
You raise your eyebrows. He motions for you to follow him to the table so you sit down, hands in your lap, and pick at the skin of your knuckles. He spreads the map open. He also has a pencil in his hand. Between gloved fingers, he fiddles with it before sliding it over to you.
To your surprise, he demands, “Show me where you went.”
Although confused, you abide, making a small mark over the village. Ribchester. 
His eyes narrow. “Not jus’ that. Show me which way you went.”
“This way,” you say, annoyed by his tone. Faintly, you draw a line through the forest all the way to the highway. “Then I followed the road.”
He takes the pencil from you and slides the map back in front of him, sweeping his eyes over the marks you’ve made. Under the black fabric, you detect the contour of his lips pressed into a straight line.
“How many were there?”
“Not many, really,” you admit. “Do you… Are you wanting to go there?” 
You furrow your brows as you recall what Blue said. They don't make trips often. It is not like Ghost has much need to. 
“No.” Not looking at you, he draws a mark some kilometers south of the one you made. “I want to go here.”
“Why?”
“I need ammo.” 
His voice is clinical and gruff. You definitely prefer it over threatening. As he continues, it officially becomes the most words he has ever spoken to you. 
“Went to a base over here two years ago.” He points a gloved digit to a spot on the east side of the forest. That must be the trip that Blue was talking about. “Wasn’t much left. Took what I could.”
“You’re all out of ammo, then?” 
He gives you a flat look. “No. But I’m runnin’ low. I don’t want to wait until I am all out to go. Need some ammo to make it there, don’t I?”
“Why haven’t you gone sooner?” you pry slowly. “Why do you want to go now?”
“Got a bit more to lose than you do.” 
It is a harsh truth, inviting a sharp breath through your lungs. What he means is he has someone he loves, unlike you. Someone he can’t just leave behind on her own.
You realize that Ghost probably avoids leaving this haven he has set up for that very reason, and maybe it is also why he is particularly conservative about their supplies. Whenever they end up running low, he has to drag her along with him to get more. The threats out there can be hard to predict. You’d been lucky. 
Ghost continues.
“But if you could make it through here,” he gestures back to the marks you made. The route can act as a way to the military base, but he would still have to go further, maybe 10 kilometers past the village. “Then I can make it that way with her.”
You nod slowly as you begin to wonder why he is telling you this. But then, it sinks in, a pit settling in your stomach. If they leave, where are you supposed to go? 
Ghost must read the expression that takes over your face. You don't wear a mask.
“You’re comin’ with us.”
“What?” You stand up, shaking your head as you hiss through your teeth. “No. I don’t want to. I just fucking got back.”
“You’re not staying here on your own,” he growls quietly. “I’m not askin’ whether you want to go or not.”
You catch his eyes. Black glass reflects the dim glow of the fire.
Of course.
He doesn’t trust you enough to stay here.
You have no choice.
1K notes · View notes
stevenose · 9 months
Text
☾₊ ⊹ reaching for the moon (18+)
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pairing: steve x fem!reader with afab anatomy
contains: smut and a dumb amount of world building that was not necessary for this. set in 30s nyc, no hawkins. old money!steve; husband!steve; art historian!steve; not rich whatsoever!reader; they’re married your honor; steve’s parents (they’re the worst <3); slut shaming; allusions to bisexual steve; brief homophobia; soft!steve!!! he’s so damn soft!!!!; period typical everything lol
you might want to know: steve smokes and reader takes a drag; heated arguments which lead to some implied homophobia; reader wears an evening gown with a corset; car sex (info on said car here, for clarity sake)
author’s note: this is very heavily inspired by titanic 1997 (obviously) because it’s been rotting my brain. it’s very self indulgent but i’m hoping others like it!!
⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊☾ ◯ ☽₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆
It’s always the same. A party, an invitation in the mail, embossed with gold foil. Steve fuming because they could have walked over instead of paying for postage, or called him on the telephone. Each time both of you thinking it’ll be different, each time leaving with Steve’s wounded ego or anger levels at an all time high. You don’t know why you torture yourselves other than the fact that his mother will make a tremendous deal out of it when you don’t show up. She’s not above telling guests gossip of your marriage when you’re not around, just so it can get back to you and hurt you again.
Your issue lies with both of them. Steve’s issue lies with his father. Old, rich, stupid. Too well-known for being a lawyer for companies that should be shuttered and closed for violations and accidents. A union buster. And Steve’s biggest critic.
He never wants to hear about Steve’s studies or projects. His mind appears to me hyper-focused on Steve’s shortfalls - no military experience, no investments, married to a poor girl he met at a bar in Manhattan. Steve is everything his father detests, and vice verse.
To his credit, Steve tries, even when he doesn’t want to. He talks to his mother first while she stares at you like you’re venomous. She’s good at reeling in her disappointment. Steve’s her only child and you figure she doesn’t want to lose that. His father, on the other hand, is closer to Steve’s cousins - successors of big oil, engineers, military men.
You smile at her while Steve tells her about his recent trip to Florence, about the chapels and art. You’re wearing her diamonds around her neck. You know she wants to strike them from you. You’d say you clean up well, wearing one of the tens of dresses Steve’s purchased for you, custom made and tailored. Satin and lace and silk, only the finest. His mother thinks she can still smell alcohol and cigarette smoke on you. She detests your miserable background, how unladylike and uneducated you are, that you’ve worked where women shouldn’t and have done things she’d consider unforgivable sin.
“They’d mix pigments with egg -“
“Egg?”
“Right, yes, they called it tempura. And the pigments - Jesus, should’ve been there to see Giotto’s blue, so rich and -“
“Are you talking about those paintings again?”
Steve tenses and turns to face his father. Your face falls slightly.
“I am.”
“How much was that trip, anyway?” his father presses. He gives you a wink as if you’re in on the joke. “Certainly more than your engagement ring?”
You clench your fist within its satin glove. The gold, Art Deco band digs into your ring finger. Steve’s jaw tenses.
“Not a penny more,” he says cooly. He adjusts his suit coat. His adams apple bobs under the stark white collar of his shirt. “Not that it’d matter, right?”
And Steve’s now doing your favorite thing, where he’ll pretend he actually agrees with his parent’s ridiculous world views until they pick up on the sarcasm. Your eyes meet and the corner of your mouth lifts slightly, but you’re back to being stone faced a moment later.
“Of course not!” his father bellows, hitting Steve on the shoulder like he’s a long time friend and not his son. He looks at you now. For reasons unexplained, his father likes you. Probably for some perverted reason, you figure. “And how’d you fare without him at home?”
“Probably enjoyed company downtown,” his mother says.
“I did.” You look at Steve again, speaking to him with a language only you two understand. It’s okay. “Don’t worry. I hardly had ten glasses of beer.”
His father laughs loudly again, making guests crane their necks to look. His mother narrows her eyes at you but smiles curtly.
“How wonderful.”
“And you’re all right with him going off overseas?” his father presses. “To go look at crumbling paintings and enjoy boat rides in that dirty canal?”
“Not any dirtier than the city, I’m sure,” you say, now taking Steve’s arm in yours. His jaw is set. “Besides, I like hearing about what he’s seen.”
“Pity he couldn’t take you with him,” his father continues. “Surely there’s a reason for that?”
You tighten your grip on Steve to remind him to not talk. “I’d be too distracting, don’t you think?”
“Certainly,” his mother says.
“Not as distracting as your friends’ headlines, though,” Steve says suddenly. “I heard about your latest union bust. How many fatalities did the factory have? Ten? How noble of you to save them from equity.”
You bite your cheek and squeeze his arm again. His father’s mouth twists like he’s tasted something sour.
“Steven,” his mother lulls, shaking her head almost imperceptibly. It’s the only thing you both have in common, trying to keep him cool and calm. It never works.
“And who’d you hear it from if not me?” His father’s tone has shifted. It feels suffocating in the small circle you stand in. “Oh, those dirty men you fraternize with.”
His father’s preoccupation with dirty things is ironic.
“Did they accompany you to Italy as well?” He looks at you now, eyes boring into yours. “Did you happen to see the Statue of David? I heard Michelangelo had an interest in the bodies of men.”
You can feel the heat radiating off of Steve, the implication making him see red.
“Ah, of course, yet another thing you’d rather refuse to understand than empathize with.”
“We should -“
“I’d love to talk to you about sexuality, actually, father. How many half-brothers do I have again?”
His mother looks like she might faint, but his father smirks. It’s as if he lives for arguments with his son. Loves seeing how far he can push him, for no other reason but to be a bastard. It might be the only time he’s ever fond of Steve.
“We’ll get going,” you say weakly, tugging Steve along, and he’s happy as long as he has the last word. “Always a pleasure.”
“You’d know much about pleasure and vices, wouldn’t you?”
It’s the first time John Harrington has ever made a verbal slight towards you. You pause, just barely, and continue moving, but Steve whips around, eyes wild. “I’m sorry?”
His voice is rigid and loud. Guests crane their necks again but this time, they keep staring. You and his mother both grit out “Steve,” but he strides towards his father. You fear he might actually strike him, so you lunge forward, putting your arm between them.
“Surely something we have in common, then, Mr. Harrington.” You glance up at Steve, his jaw clenching and unclenching, face red. “Good night.”
⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊☾ ◯ ☽₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆
It’s cool outside. There are people on leisurely walks despite it nearly being so late. Steve’s still fuming beside you, toned arms flexing underneath his suit coat. He’s mumbling under his breath, then quickly whips around, heading back towards the door.
“I’m gonna-“
“Please,” you beg, grabbing onto his forearm. “Let’s leave it.”
“How?” he huffs. “How can I leave it? He was - he was - awful to you!”
“And he’s awful to you, too. What else is new?” You tug him, beckoning him with pleading eyes. “Follow me.”
He rolls his shoulders and tilts his head as he looks at you. He’s still fuming, nostrils flaring slightly, but all it takes is another little please? and he’s sighing, pulling out his cigarettes and a lighter as he follows you.
"The garage?” he asks, the white building coming into view. A billowing cloud of smoke follows. “What on earth do you want in there?”
You rip your gloves off and flex your fingers. “Indulge me.” You bump his hip with yours, trying to get him to smile.
Steve chuckles, easing up slightly, flicking the ash of his cigarette. "I don't know if committing vandalism is going to make me feel better this time."
“We aren’t vandalizing anything,” you promise. You reach for his hand and take a deep inhale of his tobacco. A needed stress reliever.
Steve seems a bit more giddy as you approach his father’s security detail. Steve’s known him since he was a boy. All he has to do is give a salute and a smile and you’re inside of the garage, door locked behind you, alone now with at least a dozen collectible cars and carriages.
"What do you have in mind, then?” he asks, leaning against the door. “Maybe we can use your heels to carve out some paint."
You step forward, taking the cigarette and throwing it on the ground before stomping it out with your shoe. You lean against him, hands pressed against his chest as you straighten his shirt. You’re looking at his neck as you speak. “Your father seems to think I’m somewhat of a whore.”
You don’t mean for him to get mad again, though it’s delicious when he is. “My father doesn’t have a clue -“
You interrupt, “So I reckon we make me one.”
His eyes widen, cheeks blooming red. "Oh?"
"Mmhm," you hum, and press your lips to his. He grabs you around the waist, fingers digging into your flesh, hidden by the satin and lace of your dress. Your lipstick smears as you move to the corner of his lips, then the stubble on his jaw, then up to the shell of his ear. "Pick a car and take me in it.”
“You - hold on,” he forces out, grip tight on you. “You aren’t a - a whore.” He says it like it’s scandalous, the worst word that could be uttered from his lips. It’s been thrown at him before, too. “You know that, right?”
You look up at him through your lashes. You can feel him starting to harden against your thigh. “Would it be such a bad thing if I was your whore?”
He swallows hard. “Do- do you want to be?”
You smile. “Pick a car before someone finds us.”
"Um." Steve forces his eyes open to look around. You begin unbuttoning his shirt while sucking a bruise into the delicate skin by his throat. He swallows hard. "Uh, the - the Renault.”
Your lips leave his neck so you can follow his gaze. You don’t know much about his father’s insane car collection, but you’ve always liked this one. Powder blue, gold accents. It’s like an upgraded horse and buggy, a large, enclosed carriage in the back with a bench for a driver at the front. It’s not very old, maybe twenty years, but it’s valuable and big and shiny and something his father prizes more than anything, including his own son.
“Plenty of leg room,” he explains sheepishly, and you smile, pulling him towards it. “Now, wait - wait - what’s the plan here?”
He’s so dense sometimes, but it’s because he wakes up everyday in disbelief that you’re laying next to him. The idea of undressing you and touching you seems so far fetched that many times he’s had to stop and think about it before engaging.
“The plan,” you say, swinging the door open and shoving him inside playfully, “is for you to have your way with me. And quickly, darling, we don’t have much time.”
Steve half-sits, half-lays down on the large bench, watching you as you duck inside and shut the door. He watches you with wide, adoring eyes as you climb on top of him, taking his hand gently. You pull it to your lips, kissing the pads of his fingers while he watches you intensely. When you look up at him, your stomach flips.
“My way with you,” he says evenly, “is to treat you like the angel you are.”
You smile and lay his hand gently on your chest. “Show me.”
His lips connect with yours softly. Despite the rush you’re both in, he still wants - needs - to take his time with you. He hikes your dress up as he kisses you, big hands caressing your thighs and ass. He sighs happily, pushing you down enough that you catch on the front of his dress pants, his cock pressing against your core. You gasp and giggle. “Excited?”
“As ever,” he promises.
You hold yourself up with a hand while the other struggles with the belt and buttons of his pants. He kisses down your neck, hot, open-mouthed. He latches on to a certain spot and you moan, breathing heavily into his hair.
“Need some help?” he murmurs, noticing your pause.
“Yes,” you breathe, eyes closing as he continues kissing along your exposed collarbone. You should be careful with your dress, taking it off and hanging it up, but Steve will just buy you another one. And another one. And another one. Anything your heart desires. Rich silk from Egypt, lace from Italy, hand embroidered and luscious against your skin. His life’s purpose seems to spoil you, as intended right now.
Steve finally frees himself, but you don’t have any time to stare. He’s quick to change places with you, laying you down on your back, pushing your dress and underskirt up. The material and color on your skin make him blush and growl lowly. The sliver of your corset that’s showing has him growing hard, too. They’re not always so comfortable for you, so you tend to wear them only on special occasions. And he’s keen on devouring you in only it after.
Neither of you are really expecting him to dive head-first between your legs, but you would never complain. His wet, warm tongue laves up your folds a few times before finally plunging in between them. You gasp and grab onto the seat, knuckles growing white. “Steve!” you cry, a hand curling into his hair, tugging on it.
“Worship you,” he mumbles into your skin, before forcing himself to pull back, chin slick. “I worship you.”
Your heart pounds. You’re at a loss. So lucky that you cannot possibly verbalize it.
Steve leans right back in, taking his sweet, non-existent time. “I- I hate to re-remind you, sweetheart,” you moan, fingers curling again, “but a-anyone could h-have! Have seen us com-coming in here.”
He hums, your back arching. He’s reluctant to pull away, but he finally does, coming back up to perch a knee on the seat below you. He’s quick to roll his sleeves up, muscled and toned forearms on view. Then he rubs his cock along your folds, both of you moaning. You tug at his shirt, now not so pristine, pulling him down to face you.
“Isn’t the idea to ruin the car?” he asks, smiling a little smug.
“Yes?”
“Then I’ve got to make a proper mess of you, don’t I?”
You burn. “You already have me melting.”
“Hmm. Let’s see what else I can do.”
When he pushes into you, it’s like the world stops. The only thing that matters is him above you. His hair tickling your forehead, eyes hazy and hooded, lip caught between his teeth. “Honey,” he groans, pulling a leg up over his hips to open you up, give him more access. His fingers dig into the fat of your thigh and he shivers at it. He always makes love like it’s the first time you’ve been together. Even during this quick romp, he’s taking his time, hearts in his eyes. “You’re incredible.”
“I love you,” you whisper, pressing your forehead to his. He slides in a little further. You wince and he kisses you gently, fingers moving towards your clit to take your mind off of it.
“I love you,” he mumbles. “So. God. Damn. Much.”
He’s sheathed fully in you now, both of you panting, sweating. The car’s windows are fogged. You can’t keep your lips off of each other as he sets his pace, languid and long, filling you up so completely it numbs your mind. Each thrust makes you gasp. His whines are low, but slowly become more high-pitched as he thrusts into you.
“Give yourself to me,” you whisper. “All of you.”
He would never deny you that.
Hips picking up, his thrusts get harsher. He’s chasing your high and his. Chasing away the thoughts of his father and his mother, of work, of anything except you. You, his angel, his promise that not all things in the world are so bad. Not when you’re with him. And certainly not when you’re writhing under him, your dress pulled taught over your tits, your lipstick smudged, mascara running.
Over and over and over, the thinks, The Divine is real. The Divine is real.
Your eyes catch as he’s pulled away to look at you. He’s soft, despite his thrusts. “I love you,” he groans. “God, I love you.”
“I love you,” you whisper, reaching for his face, cradling it. “My world.”
“My muse,” he moans, twitching within you, handsome face twisted in pleasure. His fingers work steadily on your clit and you reach up for your breasts, wishing desperately that you were wearing a nightgown instead. One that Steve likes, all pastel pink and blue, a ribbon of purple silk on the waist. It’s much less restricting and much more revealing. We can always continue at home, you think, your stomach tightening.
“You are….” you pant, eyes rolling back, leg tightening around his hips. “You are more th-than enough.”
His trusts slow. “As are you.”
“Sweet boy,” you laugh breathlessly, rolling your hips towards him. “Please keep going.”
“Oh!” he says, genuinely shocked, like he was truly so lost in your words that he forgot what he was doing. “S-sorry.”
“Just wa-want to show you how much I - how much I love you.”
“You show me,” he promises. “E-every. Day. And - and at these stupid p… oh, Christ - these parties.” His hips angle up towards your sweet spot and you’re gone, unable to hold back, brows marrying and face tightening in a lewd show of pleasure.
“Steve!” you moan, so loud you’re sure anyone walking by could hear. His hips move furiously and you have to reach up with your hand to steady yourself, making a handprint on the window. “Oh, my God!”
“Now it’s time to show you,” he groans, and his lips are back on yours. Half to consume you, overwhelmed with love and lust, and half to keep you quiet. You all but scream into his mouth, hand sliding off the window to clutch his shoulders while he works you into oblivion. “Close,” he chokes, a hand once again cradling your cheek. “With me now.”
You pant into each other as you cum, the car filled with sex and sweat and your crass noises. So unladylike, so perverse. You giggle mid-orgasm at the thought of his mother walking in on such a thing. A son raised as a level below royalty fucking his street-rat wife into a stupor, all in a thousand dollar car, would make her heart stop.
“What’s - so - funny?” Steve pants eventually, resting his head on your chest, his cock softening inside of you.
“Nothin’,” you promise, combing his hair with your fingers. “I love you.”
“Don’t leave me out,” he smiles.
You shake your head. “Tell you later. We should -“
“Uh-huh,” Steve says, pushing off of you and tucking himself back into his pants.
“You’re trembling,” you frown, reaching for him.
“I’m alright,” he promises, taking your hand and kissing it. “I’m happy.”
“So am I.”
He helps you fix yourself and slips your feet into your shoes for you, a kiss pressed into your knee. It turns into another, then another, and then his lips are creeping up your thigh.
“Stevie,” you whisper, the pet name making him blush. “Let’s finish at home.”
“Home,” he sighs dreamily. “Sounds wonderful.”
You’re proud of the stain left on the leather as you get up, your dress falling back down to your ankles. His father won’t check this car for weeks, if not months. You hope it’s fully ruined by then. But, for good measure, you let your heel scrape the paint on the way out.
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eggluverz · 8 months
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hello!! would like to request a modern au with blade, where he’s a idol and due to him being busy with work, he didn’t have the time to visit/spend time with the reader (can be gn! or fem!). hence, he took it upon himself to surprise his s/o
bonus points if they are in a secret relationship and let’s say the reader works as a barista, so imagine the chaos the cafe will be if they see idol! blade having a lover SHSHDHDH
take ur time to write it hehe :3
— EVERYTHING I NEED
In which you’re feeling down about not seeing your boyfriend in a few months and Blade takes time out of his busy tour schedule to surprise you.
PAIRING. idol!blade x barista!reader
WORD COUNT. 1780
GENRE. modern au, idol au, fluff
NOTE. thank u for the request !! <3 i chose gn reader btw :) this was soooo much fun to write ٩( ᐛ )و i enjoyed this sm but warning it’s so very cheesy heh if u don’t like fluffy romcom cringe look away :3 hope y’all like it xx sof
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It wasn’t always easy having a long distance boyfriends of sorts. A busy long-distance boyfriend who you sometimes didn’t see in person for months on end. 
You knew he was busy, but you also knew he dedicated most of his free time talking to you. The relationship was important to the both of you— There was no doubt in your mind about that. Still, there were times the sadness and loneliness crept in. 
Today was one of those days. 
It wasn’t a “special” day as one would say. It wasn’t your birthday. It wasn’t Blade’s birthday. And it wasn’t even an anniversary. But still, you missed him so much. 
You had gone months without seeing him. Your only solace was knowing Blade has gone just as long without seeing you and missed you just as much. He has been in and out of the recording studio whenever he had time in between performances, which limited your ability to call or even text each other even more. 
You were aware the life of an idol could get hectic at times, you knew that well before the two of you started dating. But at times, it took more of a toll on you than you would expect. 
“What’s gotten you so down in the dumps?” The voice took you out of your negative thoughts.
You turned to look at your close friend and coworker, Serval. You sighed, thankful afternoon rush hour had just died down so only few customers were at the coffee shop. “Nothing, really. Just missing Blade.”
She patted your back sympathetically. “I can only imagine. It’s hard enough barely seeing my brother because of military service.”
“How is Gepard, by the way? I haven’t seen him in ages!” 
“He’s coming back for a bit next month! We’re having a little party if you want to come,” said Serval excitedly. “But back to you and Blade. When is the last time you saw him?” 
“Over two months,” you said with a pout. You knew some people in long distance relationships would view that as nothing— Some would even be grateful that a month of not seeing their partner was a long time. But that wasn’t you and you felt yourself growing more dejected each day. “We haven’t even video chatted or called for longer than ten minutes in the last few weeks.” You tried to look on the bright side. “But at least I know he’s doing what he loves. I just hope management isn’t pushing him too hard.” 
“That’s a big ask for money-hungry corporations,” Serval said dryly. “Poor boy is definitely overworked. Have you seen their back to back show dates? It’s all over social media. I’m sure he’s using any possible moment he can to spend time with you without being too obvious and letting the press know about your relationship.” 
You nodded, trying to cheer yourself up the moment you saw a group of customers walk in. It was the end of work hours for most office workers around here so you mentally prepared yourself to give your best customer service smile. “I know he is doing his best. I just get sad about it sometimes, but I know it’s all worth it.”
“There you go.” She smiled. “And you’ll see him in no time, I’m positive. But for now, get ready for the evening rush!”
“One step ahead of you,” you sang, already at the cash register prepared to take the orders. 
As you greeted the hoard of customers and helped your coworkers make drinks if they needed extra hands, you realized the rush lasted longer than normal. 
“Is today international coffee day or something?” you asked as you passed by Serval. “It’s crazy busy right now.”
She shrugged, placing two drinks down at the ready table. “Not that I’m aware of. But this has been more than a rush hour. The sun isn’t even out anymore.”
“And people are coming in without buying anything or sitting down?” 
As you wondered what was going on, you heard a loud, high-pitched scream coming from outside. The sound was followed by more and more squeals of excitement. 
You and Serval looked at each other. 
“Speak of the devil,” she said, shaking her head with a grin. “What a grand entrance.”
All reason left your mind as you were filled with hope and joy. You looked back at Serval, asking for permission to leave the cash register. 
“Go,” Serval laughed. “I’ll cover the rest of your shift.” 
“Thank you! I love you!”
With a big smile on your face, you rushed out of the coffee shop and pushed through the crowd outside. Standing tall above the group of fans, Blade stood there with black sunglasses and a face mask— A poor disguise that did little to nothing to protect his identity. 
You lifted your hand up and waved from the back of the crowd, unsure if he would even be able to spot you amidst all the people. You wondered, even, if you should acknowledge him like this in public. You knew the press was crazy and the fans could be even crazier. Blade’s manager thought it was for the best he keep your relationship away from public eye. 
But he was right here. And you didn’t want to wait another second before running up to him and giving him the biggest hug. Still, you refrained. 
You did not want to jeopardize his image, no matter how much you wanted to give him a kiss right now.
Blade looked around the crowd before his gaze landed in your general direction. He lifted his shades to expose his captivatingly red eyes. When he saw you, he gave you a crooked smile. 
“There you are,” he called, his deep voice rumbling over the muffled chatter of his fans. “It’s been too long.”
He maneuvered through the crowd, ignoring all the photos his fans were taking of him. The only thing Blade was paying attention to was you. Not caring you were in front of a large crowd, Blade immediately takes you into his arms. Time stops as you feel yourself melt into his embrace. The scent of his expensive cologne filled your senses, your face warm as it laid flushed against his chest. 
“I missed you,” he murmured into your hair. 
“I missed you, too,” you said. “But when did you get here? I thought you were in another continent? And are we allowed to be like this in public?” 
As happy as you were to be with him, you didn’t want to get him in any sort of trouble with his management company. 
“I got here just a few hours ago.” Blade rubbed slow circles on your back, not releasing you from his embrace. “I have a show in two days but I needed to see you. And, yeah, I might get in trouble by management but who cares?” 
You pulled back urgently, looking up at him in concern. “You should care! I don’t want you to put your career in danger.” 
Blade frowned and closed to distance between the two of you once more. “Management has worked me to the bone for years, if they want me to keep working for them, then they’ll have to put up with this being public. I’m tired of hiding you.” 
Your arms wrapped around him, a small giggle escaping your lips at how ridiculous this must have looked to the public. You didn’t like being in a secret relationship either. You knew it was for his work, but when you happened to watch his interviews and had to hear him lie and say he was single, it hurt your heart, just a little. 
“Besides, at this point in my career, I’m sure they need me more than I need them,” he said with a cocky look on his face. Even with his mouth and nose covered by the mask, you could see it in the crinkle of his eyes. 
“That’s my Bladie,” you teased, running your fingers through his tangled hair. “Mr. Popular and you know it.” 
“And I also know I want to be alone with you right now,” Blade said with a smirk. “Is your shift almost over? Let’s go back home once it ends.” 
“Serval said she’ll cover the rest of my shift for me. We can go home now.” 
“Thank you, Serval,” he said happily. Blade held your hand as he lead you to his car. “I might have to drive a little fast to lose the fans that’ll inevitably try to follow us. Is that okay?”
You noted his mischievous smile and laughed. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the thought of escaping them excites you.” 
“I’m a simple man.” He opened the passenger door for you and gave you a small slap on the ass as you crawled in. “Buckle up, baby.”
“I can’t believe you did that with everyone watching!” you cried as he gently shut the door. You shook your head even though you knew he couldn’t see it. “It’s a good thing I love you.” 
˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖
When you woke up the next morning, your phone was filled with texts from your friends. You opened Serval’s first. 
Serval: LOL guess who’s famous now
Serval: #CoffeeShopASScape #BladieOnTheLoose ... all the trending hashtags are about you and Blade
Serval: I wish you luck LMAO
You stifled a laugh, only mildly concerned about what people had to say. As you shuffled around on the bed, Blade stirred awake. He inched closer to you and lazily draped his arm around your waist. 
“G’morning,” he mumbled. 
“Good morning,” you greeted, kissing his forehead. “Blade… Have you checked your phone yet?” 
“Yeah, when I woke up an hour ago. My manager let me know just how much chaos I caused over voicemail. Then I decided to go back to sleep with you and deal with it later,” he said simply. 
“Blade!” 
He noticed the furrowed crinkle between your brows and he rubbed it away with his thumb. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ll get it all sorted out eventually. All that matters is I’m here with you right now.” 
“You’re right. Let’s enjoy this before you have to go back on tour,” you said, placing your phone on your nightstand and ignoring the notifications lighting up your phone. “And if damage control is too hard to deal with, know that I’m always here for you. I’ll answer your call even if it’s in the middle of the night here.” 
Blade cupped your face and softly kissed your lips. “What did I do to deserve you?” 
“I ask myself the same thing,” you said with a smile. “Now, wanna get some coffee?”
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d0youc0py · 2 months
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Warnings: fluffy, meeting for the first time, making plans for a date, GN reader, storms, too long, not proofread
Maybe renting a cabin in-almost- the middle of nowhere wasn’t there best idea. It had been storming for the past four hours, making it impossible to take advantage of the beautiful world outside. You should’ve brought your rain boots.
You were pacing back and forth across the hardwood when your light flickered twice before going out completely.
“No!” You growled. You flickered the switch on and off as if that would do anything. “Fuck.” With a huff you tugged on your coat and slipped into your shoes, using your phone light to guide you. You went around the back of the house fiddling with the power box. “I better not get electrocuted.”
The thought of that alone was enough to make you close the power box. You turned on your heels making your way to the other rental house down the road.
“Hi Mrs. Collier, is your power on?” You smiled at the older woman as she opened the door.
“What’d your roof cave in?” She questioned, taking in your soak appearance. She moved out of the doorway, silently welcoming you inside.
“It’s been on and off for the past hour.” She sighed pouring you a hot drink. “I’ve got spare clothes in the hall closet- don’t want you to get my carpet moldy.” She shooed you off.
“Thank you Mrs. Collier!” You did as she had told and found a nice oversized shirt and sleep shorts.
“So what do we do? Just wait it out?” You questioned sitting at the counter. She pushed the hot drink towards you, then added another candle to the fifty she had on the counter.
“I do what everyone does when something goes wrong. Call John.”
“Who’s John?” You asked. She looked at you with furrowed brows.
“You’ve been living here for how long and you haven’t met John yet?”
You took a sip of your drink and shook your head.
“Well I guess that makes sense.” She sighed. “He’s in the military- high up I think and he does those special agent type things, Y’know like the things you see on TV- anyways he’s gone a lot, never too long but you can always tell when he is.”
“How so?” You pressed.
“The town falls apart, physically. I almost feel bad for the man, never seems to have time to relax.” Mrs. Collier continued. “Someone’s water heater is always going out, or there’s a storm and one time the Hathaway’s fence completely collapsed- sheep got out all over town. It was quite the sight.” She smiled to herself and you wondered for a minute if she remembered you were there. She shook her head breaking herself out of her trance. “Drink up honey, don’t need you gettin’ everyone sick.” She gave a gentle smile.
Suddenly the lights flicked on. You closed your eyes quickly not ready for the burst of light.
“You alright in there.” A gruff voice called from outside. There was a knock at the front door, before the person outside let themselves in.
“Thanks, John. What do I owe you?” Ms. Collier asked, sliding off the stool.
“I’ll take a muffin if you have any.” The owner of the voice suddenly appeared in the kitchen doorway. He paused for a moment when he saw you. His face softened and he offered you a polite smile. You were too flushed about his your appearance to return it. “I don’t think we’ve met. John Price. I live about a mile up the road.” (I know he’s British) He extended his hand towards you, not before wiping it on his pants. He wore a black rain coat, with his hood pulled up over a black beanie. The beanie was far too low for your liking, nearly covering his vibrant eyes. As if he read your mind he tugged it up slightly.
“Y/N, L/N.” You shook his hand, pulling away quicker than you probably should. “You said you lived up the road? That pretty cream colored house?” You asked. He chuckled at you. It was warm and inviting.
“Never been one to think my house was pretty, but yes that’d be the one.”
“Order up.” Ms. Collier handed John a large ziplock filled with muffins.
“Thank you, Doll.” John smiled. Ms. Collier let out a giggle swatting at him and you couldn’t help the smile that grew on your own face at the interaction. “Where you staying? Need a ride back?” John turned towards you.
“Y/N’s power is out too.” Ms. Collier spoke for you, smirking at your flushed appearance. “They’re staying one house over.” Ms. Collier pointed towards the direction you came from.
“Let’s get you settled then.” John said, nodding his head towards the door.
“Are you sure?” You asked hesitantly. John nodded his head in assurance and you wondered what it was like to be someone with such a comforting aura. “Thank you.” You stood up, grabbing your wet clothes from the laundry room. “Thank you Ms. Collier.”
“Anytime, Honey.”
You started out the door but John pulled you back.
“Umbrella?” He raised a brow at you. You shook your head. He quickly unzipped his jacket, sticking his hand in his pocket and holding half of his jacket above your head. You instinctively shuffled closer. He was warm and smelled like pine- and a little something else that you couldn’t quite put your finger on but it was smoky. You both began your track to your house, breathing a sigh of relief when you entered almost completely dry.
“Where’s your power box?”
“On the side of the house.” He nodded his head starting towards it. You began digging around your house for some sort of payment for him. He already had some baked goods and who knows what else he earned on his travels. The lights flickered on in no more than five minutes. Heavy footsteps thudded against your porch and John stopped in the doorway, not wanting to wet your entire house.
“Thank you so much!” You praised. “Now I unfortunately don’t really have any food, well anything substantial at least, but I have some cash.”
“Don’t know if you should be telling strangers you have cash in your home, love.” He scolded, shaking off his coat on the porch. You gave him a sheepish smile, to hung up on the endearment to fully take in his words.
“Yeah.” You sighed, still waiting for an answer from him. “So how much?”
“Dinner with me?” He said suddenly. You began to head over to your bag but stopped.
“I’m sorry, what?” You could hardly believe he wanted anything to do with you. Your hair was plastered to your face and you were wearing the worst clothes the 80’s had to offer. “Are you sure?”
He furrowed his brows at you. “Am I sure?” He repeated..“Something wrong with you?” He hummed. You nodded your head, but quickly shook it.
“No. I mean nothings wrong with me. Well that’s not true there’s probably a lot of things- somethings that I’m probably not even aware of. I’m sorry I shouldn’t say there are a lot of things wrong with me but”-
“Breathe, Sweetheart.” He interjected. “I’ll take dinner or you can just call this one free as a ‘welcome to town’ favor.”
“I like dinner.” The words came from your lips before he had even finished his sentence. He chuckled at you again.
“Good, I’ll pick you up tomorrow. 7:30 sharp.” He began making his way down your porch steps, back to his truck.
“Okay!” You shouted after him. “Thank you.” You knew he couldn’t hear you, so you decided it was a thank you meant for the storm.
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Crossfire - Pt 1 Jack Reacher (Alan Ritchson) x F/AFAB! Reader.
General Warnings: 18+, as is the whole of my blog, I will mark anything specific but be aware this is predominantly a smutty blog with plot. DNI if you are a minor. By reading further you have taken the responsibility to do so with the warnings I have given. Specific Warnings: This is pure smut with story (but it’s mostly about the smut), Size kink, teasing, mutual pining, angst, P in V unprotected (birth control and trust re STI’s(get checked up and keep your partners informed frens)), drinking, swearing, mentions of violence, mentions of war/war fighting, mentions of PTS/PTSD, trauma, military terminology, strip teasing, rough sex, size kink, (small) praise kink, feisty Reader. No mention of Y/N, Reader has nicknames, Teach/Bambi, was in the army with reacher, still doing covert stuff as a mercenary. This is a one shot, but might look at more instalments if people like it. Wordcount: 5,829
Summary: You run into Reacher after years apart. The flames that once burned inside you are ash, but the way he looks at you could start a forest fire.
Author’s Notes: I love Alan Ritchson and having watched Fast X and Reacher recently well… There’s an itch I want him to scratch.
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Crossfire
The shitty inner-city bar was loud, too loud. Your ears ring as you watch the banker-bros and their dates laughing it up as they dance without rhythm to the modest-at-best live band. You worry at the label on your third beer bottle. The discarded shredded paper piling up as you try and calm your nerves.
“You doing alright there Teach?” Frankie, Frances Neagley, asks as she slides into the high stool opposite you. Her hair is pulled back in a tie, her olive drab denim tucked close against her as she twitches as people move too close to her, yet not close enough to touch her.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that.” You sigh, shaking your head at the nickname that had stuck since West Point between you, Neagley, and Reacher.
“Do you prefer Bambi? We can call you that if you want?” Reacher’s deep rumble sets off a warmth in your spine you’ve tried to push from you mind for years. You swivel on your stool to take in the bull of a man that is raking his analytical blue-green eyes all over you. You mirror his analysis, taking in the new scars, harder lines on his face.
He’s aged faster than his years.
You think to yourself as you flip him the bird.
“That was one time, Teach at least has provenance.” You scoff, hating both nicknames but at least Teach was rooted in renown.
“How you holding up?” He asks you. With the way he’s looking at you, he’s clearly aware of the mercenary missions you’ve been on, even though he had been out of the force for some time. You’re unsurprised but it still bothers you how honed in on your life he always is.
“Nothing to report Sir,” You hiss, emphasising the last word to dig at him, “If you don’t mind, I’ll be on my way.” Reacher has his hooks into you, always able to press your buttons.
“Hey,” Frankie interjects, shooting Reacher a venomous glare before turning back to you, “You can leave if you want, but don’t let him be the reason, he’s not worth it.”
“I’m standing right here.” Reacher says matter-of-factly as he looks between the two of you.
“You’re kind of hard to miss,” You scoff, rolling your eyes but you look back at Frankie and relent, “Alright, Reacher, stay out of my way, I want to have a good time tonight.” You glower at him and the softest, almost imperceptible twitch at the corner of his mouth has you cursing your own stubbornness. You should never had agreed to meet, and even then the moment he turned up you should have bugged out and high-tailed it home.
“Yes Ma’am.” He says softly before stepping away and blending into the swirling mass of the crowd. You try not to allow yourself to be impressed at the ease at which he could do that, considering his bulk and height.
“You two ever actually fuck?” Frankie asks you and you almost choke on the dregs of your beer.
“No, never, fucking hell Neagley, you trying to kill me?” You splutter, well aware that you’re far too flustered. Reacher notices it too and you see the vein on his neck pop as he stifles a triumphant smile.
“You should have, would’ve made things easier.” She shrugs as she takes another swig of her beer.
“That’s rich coming from you.” You needle back, knowing well that your relationship was tight knit enough to make that joke.
“Fair, but you’re a slutty little bisexual, either fuck him and get it over and done with or get over yourself.” Frankie says with a twitch of her lips. She has you there. The only thing that ever stopped you from fucking Reacher was your own ego.
“Fuck you.” You grumble as you gesture between your empty drinks before asking the obvious, “You want another?”
“As long as you’re buying.” Frankie says with a dazzling smile.
“Always, be back in a flash.” You say with a smirk. You love Frankie, you’d even, sort-of kind-of, dated for a while when you left the service, but Frankie being such a haptephobiac scuppered things for you both. You loved each other dearly but you’re a tactile, sexual person, and having to supress your own instincts wasn’t healthy for either of you. But it didn’t stop you loving one another, and that was something neither of you denied, you just expressed it differently, and that was ok.
You make your way to the bar, waiting patiently as the other, dressed up women got served before you. You’d grown used to it, you never dressed up, not for weddings, not for funerals, not for anyone. It had it’s perks, but in a bar, it meant you were served when you were served. You drum your fingers on the edge of the bar after a while, slowly getting tired of waiting.
“Hey,” Reacher’s low rumble makes you shiver as his large form cages you in. His navy shirt sleeves are rolled up to his elbows as you see the firm, thick cords of his forearms hem you in as his large hands rest on the bar, “How’s Civvy life treating you?” He breathes into the shell of your ear as you shudder beneath him.
“Shit, I can’t be as lucky as you and land myself in the middle of murder investigations and big ol’ conspiracies like you J.” You say, using the nickname you know he hates.
“It cost me a brother, so I don’t know if you can call that luck.” He growls against your skin as he inches forward slowly. You feel the brush of his fucking marbled pecs against your shoulders as he tries to draw you in. This was a dance you had both done many times, riling the other up, pushing the limits to breaking point. But there was always an angle, exploiting each other’s vulnerabilities to get what you wanted, or needed.
It’s the toxic part of your relationship with Reacher you never allow yourself to admit to, but it’s also the only thrill you get anymore. Years of the brass putting warfighting over warfighters meant you were numb to just about any stimulus. Except Reacher.
“Fair,” You nod, trying to keep your mind clear as your whole body screams to push back against Reacher, goad him on so he can finally give you what you’ve craved for over a decade, “But we both know you’re not here for sentimentality and feelings.” You breathe, trying so damned hard not to grind back against him.
He wants something, whatever this is will cost you.
“Correct.” He grumbles before a hand falls from the bar, resting against your hip instead, “Tell me to stop, tell me you don’t want this and I’ll walk away.” He pants against the clammy skin of your neck as you try to wrestle control from the primal part of your brain that would let him rail you right now, against the bar in front of everyone.
“Why now?” You ask, the logical part of your brain interrupting at just the wrong time, you want to take it back, let Jack play his game, maybe let him win for once, then let him fuck you into oblivion but that simple question shatters the illusion. 
“Never mind, have a good night, see you ‘round Teach.” Reacher’s tone is clipped as he detaches from you with surgical precision. His body melds back into the crowd instantly as he flees from you retreating back to reality once more.
The bartender finally reaches you and you order your drinks, skulking back to find Frankie gone too. You check your phone and see that she’s bailed. You sit for a while, not touching the drinks for some time, trying to reconcile the night in your mind.
You down your beer and leave Frankie’s drink on the table before ordering an uber. You wait outside and almost scoff at the fact it took you less than a minute to realise Reacher was tailing you. He’s good, but so are you. You spend your nights checking for every sniper position, any potential ambush site. PTS, having the audacity to exist as a woman in the army, and pre-existing anxiety meant you were always hypervigilant.
You head back to your apartment, abandoning the Uber plan as you nip down dark alleyways. Every time he’s there. Sometimes a step ahead, often two or three behind as you watch him grunt in frustration from a rooftop as he reaches a dead end you guided him into.
*
You flop down on your shitty little sofa as the water still beads at your skin from the shower. You know he’s here, already inside your apartment. The tape you leave over the seams of your sash windows peeled back and replaced almost perfectly, but the room felt off, so when you prodded the adhesive tape it had flaked back without resistance. You had checked the bathroom first, wanting to shower uninterrupted, but you left the door ajar, just enough that if he wanted to, Reacher could see your naked form as you washed vigorously in your wet room.
You look around the studio apartment, the bare wood floors and deep red brick walls helped keep your anxiety in check, dirt shows less, stains easier to cover up. There is so little in the sparse room you’re starting to wonder if you were being paranoid. Then you hear the shift from the mezzanine bedroom. You gaze moves to look up through the balcony, eyes shifting along the dimly lit platform.
“You want a beer Jack?” You ask at the space under the bed you couldn’t see from here, position he was most likely in and you hear the soft grunt at the use of his first name. There’s a pause, where you can almost hear the gears turning in his head as he decides it’s worth staying hidden for any longer.
“Fine.” He huffs as he rolls out from under your bed, exactly where you thought he’d be. Your bed is one of the few places anyone could hide in your apartment and you kept it that way for a reason. You pad over to the kitchen and grab a pair of import beers from the fridge, taking your time, hoping your loose linen shorts and thin tank top would entice Reacher to crowd you from behind again. But you’re left hanging as you hear the creak of your dilapidated groan under Reacher’s weight.
“So, what do you want?” You ask, nudging thew fridge door shut with your hip before you saunter over to sit on the coffee table, Reacher, even if he wasn’t currently sprawled across the whole length, would have taken up too much space for you to be comfortable.
“You.” Reacher says without pause, his sea glass blue eyes raking over the ample amounts of bare skin you have on show. You pop open the bottles with the end of the lighter on the coffee table next to your ashtray full of burnt-out joints, as you lazily take in the way Reacher’s tight jeans hug his strong thighs. The way his biceps strain against the rolled up sleeves of his dress shirt has heat flooding straight to your core.
“Denied, anything else I can do for you?” You ask as you hand him the beer, his large fingers brush against yours and you have to battle with your self-control to pull away. Your skin is on fire, your heart in your throat as you feel the pressure of over ten years of pent up desire blotting out the rational part of your mind.
“Can I crash here?” He asks before taking a long swig of beer, you watch shamelessly at the way his throat muscles contract and flex as he swallows.
“Nope.” You breathe, your walls already crumbling as you actually consider saying yes.
“What’s up your ass Teach?” Reacher groans, his eyes hard as he sets the beer down on the table before shifting up into a sitting position, his knees brush yours and you feel yourself clench around nothing. The friction of his jeans against your bare skin, the intensity if his look, his hard stare, all of it riles you up and you have to force yourself to think straight.
“Just getting tired of whatever this is.” You gesture between your chest and his, the truth of your words biting as you steel yourself. You don’t want to fuck this up, you’re in the right place for the first time ever to actually let him in, but you can’t shake the decades of cold hard walls you had festooned around you.
“Understood, see you around,” And he says your name, soft, tender, vulnerable against his stoic, harder than titanium, façade he puts up for everyone. Everyone but you.
Reacher makes it two long strides, which was more like four of your own, before you grab him from behind, wrapping him in a bear hug as you anchor yourself to him. You notice the twitch of involuntary movement as your unexpected contact triggers his fight reflex. But he stills immediately, hands balled at his sides. You press your face into the span between his shoulder blades, inhaling the familiar cotton-fresh, pressed linen and neutral soap smell that you always associated with Reacher. No perfumed frills, as always he was utilitarian, clean, safe.
“Stay.” You whisper into his shirt trying not to sound as needy as you felt, but it’s painfully clear how much you needed this, you can’t hide it from yourself, and you certainly could never hide your feelings from Reacher, no matter how hard you both tried to ignore them.
God he’s warm.
“‘Sure? Seemed pretty clear you wanted me gone.” Reacher says as he places his strong hands on your forearms, as if to move them, but the moment his fingers brush your skin you feel the flash of desire in your chest, striking down your spine like lightning. The hitch in Reacher’s breath tells you he feels it too.
“Look at me.” You order, and without hesitation he turns in your arms, his hands sliding up to touch the bare skin of your biceps. The friction is maddening as you try to suppress the urge to jump him, to wrap your legs around his torso and fuse your lips to his.
“What?” Reacher says with a grunt, his jaw is tight with tension, eyes burning with desire in the low light of your apartment. His thumbs brush the skin of your biceps as he runs his tongue over his bottom lip.
“Kiss me.” You breathe, all thought, every ounce of bravado and cold, self-imposed emotional exile thrown to the wind. He hesitates for a split second before he claims your mouth with his own. It’s slow, cautious at first, barely a brush of skin on skin but that’s all it takes. It’s like kerosene poured on a bonfire, explosive, pressured, and unbearably hot. Nothing can stop this blaze now, and you were past being worried about getting burned.
Jack cups his right hand around the back of your neck, cradling it perfectly in his large hand as the other falls to your hip, pulling you against him, fisting the flimsy linen shorts in his hand as he groans down into you. His tongue presses against the seam of your mouth and you open willingly, moaning as his thick, hot tongue dominates you.
“Bed.” You mumble against his lips, pulling away to look up into his lust blown eyes, then you see a flash of mischief in his eyes. Before you can challenge him you’re being thrown over his shoulder. You yelp, embarrassment flooding you as you hear it, cursing yourself for getting caught off guard. Reacher chuckles, charging up the stairs two at a time before practically throwing you on the bed. You bounce lightly against the paisley blue sheets and glare at him, trying to muster every ounce of venom built up over the years for this man. But all you can manage is a pout, which only makes Reacher smirk triumphantly down at you from the foot of the bed.
“Clothes. Off.” Reacher growls the order and a flash of defiance makes you bold. You shift onto your knees and cross your arms, staring up at him with an eyebrow cocked in challenge.
“Make me.” You respond with a scoff, you might have obliged if he had asked nicely, maybe.
“Brat.” Reacher growls before slipping off his watch, kicking off his boots, and taking off his belt. You flush a little as you realise he’s removing anything damaging, sharp, or otherwise uncomfortable. They fall into a pile to his right before he looks you up and down, analytical as always as he prepares to strike.
You expect him to lunge at you, go in for the kill shot and use his brute strength to make you submit but that’s never been the game between you two. It’s always been about the chase, the delayed gratification, the thrill of drawing it out. The bed shifts dramatically as he lowers himself onto his knees.
Fuck, he’s big.
You think to yourself as he kneels, thighs spread as he towers over you. You shuffle back, feet brushing against the pillows as he slowly inches closer. His large hands fall to the buttons of his shirt, slowly popping them open one by one. Each painfully slow motion reveals more and more of his muscular form. Sure, you’d seen Reacher naked before, hell you think you’ve seen him in every state of undress, including when you had to fish out a stray bullet and patch him up in Moldova. But this was different. This was for you.
“Trade?” Reacher says as he reaches the bottom button, his navy shirt hanging off his shoulders, exposing the scarred, rippling torso you knew so well. You could map every scar on his body, or so you thought, new, fresh, still-pink lines and indentations on his skin made you shudder.
“Trade for what Jack?” You say, trying to get under his skin as much as he had already gotten under yours.
“My shirt for yours?” He asks, eyebrow raised in challenge. You know if you refuse you’ve lost, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of getting you naked too quickly.
“Your shirt for one article of clothing of my choosing?” You barter and he cocks his head quizzically but nods slowly. You smirk and slip down the straps of your sports bra before unclasping it and throwing it away. It was the same colour as your tank top so it hadn’t been obvious it was there until your breasts spill out against the tight fabric of your tank top. Reacher’s eyes go glassy as you see his position shift on the bed, even in the low tungsten lighting you could see the bulge in his dark jeans.
“Impressive.” He breathes, you aren’t sure if he meant your trade, or your breasts, but it didn’t matter. The praise had you open mouthed and trying not to squirm as he inches closer, shouldering off the shirt. He goes to throw it on the floor but you snatch it from his hand, quickly pulling it over your shoulders. It swamps you and you bury your nose into the collar to inhale the crisp, clean smell of Reacher before looking back up through your eyelashes at him. His hand trembles as he swipes it back through the short hair on top of his head.
“What next?” You purr, taking in the broad expanse of his shoulders, his thick neck, and the soft yet defined muscles of his chest and abs. Reacher wordlessly pulls down his zipper, slowly shifting his jeans down over his thighs, letting them pool at his knees as he watches you like a hawk. You exhale aggressively through your nose as you see the dark patch of pre-come on his grey boxers, his cock straining against the tight fabric. You knew he had a big dick, but seeing it erect, erect for you has you pushing your thighs together as your cunt aches to be touched.
He stays like that for a few more agonising seconds and you’re almost at breaking point, about to relent and strip bare for him to take you right there when he finally hooks his thumbs under the waistband of his jeans and manages to take them off in a graceful motion, without moving from his knees.
You don’t wait for the next instruction, you had a plan, you mimic his actions in removing your shorts, pooling them at your knees to reveal the white cotton panties that hugged your mound. They were slick with your own arousal, making them cling to you in a way that made you ache further.
“Fuck.” Reacher hisses as he wipes one large hand over his face, sweat beading on his brow as his eyes roam your body, of course he notices the way your panties cling to you, the way your mouth is parted and eyes blown out with desire. He notices the peaks of your nipples painfully hard and pebbled under the thin fabric of the tank top.
“Looks like you’ve only got one piece left to trade Reacher, going to have to pick what I take off next.” You breathe as you bite on your lip, your eyes piercing his as you notice his Adam’s apple bob violently as he swallows hard.
“Me first.” He rasps, thumbs sliding beneath the waistband of his boxers, revealing a smattering of light brown curls as he lowers his underwear slowly, letting his cock spring free with a bounce. You exhale through your nose to try and alleviate the desire building at the base of your spine but you can’t help the whine that accompanies it. He’s larger than you remember and, but then again you’d never seen him hard, and the pearlescent bead of pre-come leaking from his thick, ruddy tip had your hands balling into fists at your side. You notice the slight upwards curve of it and try not to think about how it was going to feel tight inside you.
He watches you with a smug grin, clearly feeling like he had already won but you look away from his beautiful cock and back up into his hungry eyes.
“What next?” You ask, voice pathetic and breathy but you weren’t ready to buckle yet. Reacher swiftly takes off his boxers before shuffling closer, looking between your cotton panties and your peaked nipples as they strain against the fabric.
“Top.” He murmurs, he’s so close now you can smell the perspiration over the usual freshness of Reacher and it does nothing but increase the ache between your thighs. You had hoped he’d say that, you don’t waste your time now, shrugging off his shirt before, peeling the material over your head with a huff as you lose your vision for a split second. The bed shifts beneath you and when you pull the tank top over your head you see him, towering over you, knees almost touching as he tilts his head down at you with a wide smile on his face.
He says nothing but slowly leans forward, his chest millimetres from your face as he reaches behind you to pull his shirt back over your shoulders. You shudder as his fingers brush the bare skin of your shoulders before looking up into his blue-green eyes as you see the strain in his neck muscles as he tries to hold back.
“Looks like you lost Reacher, I’ve still got my panties on.” You breathe as he rocks back down onto his knees, his fingertips trailing down from your shoulders before he reaches your pebbled nipples. He brushes his knuckles against the sensitive buds and you arch forward at the touch, the pleasure blinding as his rough skin scrapes blissfully against them.
“Who said getting naked was the goal?” He asks, his hands trailing down to your thighs, gripping the flesh of your ass in his hands as he leans down into you, his strong nose brushing against yours, lips hovering just short of your own.
“Then what?” You breathe, your right hand rests atop his on your ass, you trail your middle and index fingers down from the hollow of his neck, following the valley of his sternum and tight stomach before ghosting along the patch of curls just above his shaft.
“I think you know.” He breathes, pressing his forehead against your own as he wrestles internally for control.
“Hmmm, think I need you to spell it out for me Reacher.” You counter, removing your hand from his torso to slide it up your thigh instead, tracking slowly up to the seam of your panties where they curve over your mound.
“Fuck.” He grunts but clearly not giving in so easily. You smile and push up on your knees, forcing his hands up as you unfold your legs, flopping back against the pillows under him as you cant your hips up towards him. His hands shift up from your thighs as you move, pinning you down by your hips as he moans above you. You hook your ankles over his calves and look up into his dark eyes with your best bedroom eyes, batting your eyelids as you pull your right hand up to your mouth, pulling your panties to the side with your left. The air hits your soaked pussy and you shudder at the sensation. Reacher’s eyes don’t leave yours, not daring to look down.
“Teach.” Reacher growls in warning but that only spurs you on more. You push your two fingers into your mouth slowly, all the way to the knuckle, hollowing your cheeks out as you suck hungrily on your own digits. He watches you, entranced as you pull them back out, saliva glistening between the digits as you lower them to your clit. Reacher says nothing as he follows them down, he’s practically vibrating with tension now.
You slide your fingers through your drenched folds, whimpering at the sensation as you gather your arousal over your fingers, you bring them back up to your lips but before they get there Reacher snatches your wrist in his hand. Without pause he pulls them into his mouth and groans around your fingers as he laves his tongue between them, savouring your slick like a man starved. Your fingers leave his mouth with a pop and he breathes your name as he cups your cheek with one hand, the other tight on your hip, you were sure it was going to bruise but you didn’t care. He repeats your name again through ragged breaths.
“I give in, can I please fuck you?” He asks and triumph takes a backseat in your mind as you feel the heat rush through your veins.
“Yes.” You breathe against his lips and he presses his tongue into your pliable mouth. You can taste yourself on him and you moan as the hand on your hip pulls you flush against him as he devours you. His length grinds against your slit, rubbing blissfully at your clit as you buck up into him. You want his cock so bad, you wriggle and whimper against him as he continues to lick into your mouth with fervour.
“Need another taste.” He mumbles as he pulls back, dropping onto his elbows as he wastes no time pressing his thick tongue deep into your desperate little hole. You cry out and buck up into it as he laps up your arousal. He shifts up to your clit, swiftly replacing his tongue with two of his large fingers. You cry out as the stretch burns but it’s soon assuaged by the way he sucked on your clit, flicking his tongue in rapid, punishing circles as he fucks you with his strong fingers, his knuckles rutting against your core as you feel the burning heat of your orgasm building. He laps greedily against your clit as he picks up the pace thrusting into your cunt with his fingers.
It’s blinding, like a supernova spreading from the base of your spine, blowing through your cunt and splintering at your toes as you convulse around his digits. You quake as he continues to piston in and out of you as you ride through your orgasm. He watches your face twist and contort, occasionally flicking his tongue against your clit to elicit another shudder from you.
“Jack.” You plead, cupping his jaw as you gently push him away.
“Sorry, ‘just looked too good, twitchin’ f’me.” He babbles, your slick coating his hard jaw as he looks down at you with reverence. You pant up at him but you’re still not truly sated, you want more, so much more. You reach down to his cock and grip him tightly at the base, Reacher’s eyes go wide and he smiles down wickedly at you.
“You sure?” He asks, placing a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth, teasing his tongue against the skin there.
“Please.” You beg, you need to feel him, need him to split you open. Reacher groans softly and nestles down between your legs, one hand on his cock, the other holding you steady by your hip. He swipes his head through your folds before pausing in realisation.
“Do you have a condom?” He asks, voice strained as he tries to be good, to do the right thing.
“Reacher I’ve not had sex in months, I’ve had clean bills of health since, and I’m on the pill, unless you’re packing an STI,” You look up at him this time with a face of judgement, “Which I will be pissed we’ve gotten this far and you haven’t said anything,” You add and he grins down at you incredulously, “I’m down if you are.” You say, looking between where his thick head is already stretching your entrance and his handsome face.
“Hundred percent sure?” He asks once more, twitching as he tries to restrain himself.
“Reacher, just fuck me already.” You growl. Reacher obeys and presses his tip inside, the stretch so much more intense than his fingers but you’re already so wet it’s no more than a pleasant burn.
“Fuck, so tight.” He breathes, easing further in as you buck up into him, your legs wrapping around his waist, ankles crossed to pull against his lower back. He groans as he finally lets go, thrusting deep into you as you cry out in bliss. He fills you so tightly it’s overwhelming, you squirm under him as he brings a hand down to swipe his thumb against your clit.
“Fuckin’ Beautiful.” He growls as he starts a steady pace, his balls slapping gently against your ass each time as he bottoms out. Your nails dig into his shoulders as he fucks down into you, spurring him on his thick cock rakes against your fluttering walls as every thrust threatens to unravel you.
“Reacher, fuck.” You groan as his tip hits your g-spot, making you writhe and clench, your right hand falls from his shoulder as you drop it down to swat his hand out of the way. You circle your clit with two fingers, matching his pace with ease fro this angle. He growls at the sight of you touching yourself as he fucks into you harder now, both hands on your hips as his rhythm falters.
“Can I-?” Reacher begins to ask but you cut him off, scraping angry red marks down his chest.
“Come inside me.” You command and that, combined with the sensation of your nails biting into his skin has Reacher stuttering his hips against you as he paints your walls with his spend. You come seconds later, pulsating around his cock as he fucks you through your orgasm, not slowing until you’re fully spent.
He rolls off you, almost falling off the modest double bed, only for you to catch his arm as you move over to give him some room. His cum is leaking out of you but you don’t care, sheets can be washed, or burned, but this moment with Reacher is precious.
“You ok there Teach?” He asks breathlessly as he turns to face you, pulling you against his chest, looping his strong thigh over yours caging you in against him.
“Seriously? Did you not hear me? Ok would be an insult to you.” You say with a laugh, prodding his sternum lightly with your finger.
“Fair point.” He says as he runs his fingers up ad down your body, tracing every curve, every scar, noting the places where you shudder. You place soft kisses to his chest, dragging your nails of your free hand up and down his back. It’s the most tender moment you’ve ever had, with anyone and the fact it was Reacher who was giving it to you was bizarre but you don’t care. After a while you feel yourself drifting off, but you know you need to wash up, even if you had only just showered.
“Reacher, gotta pee, c’mon.” You grumble against his skin and he sighs.
“I know.” He says softly as he places a kiss to the top of your head, but neither of you move, both terrified that if you let go it will shatter the illusion, the perfect moment neither of you wanted to lose.
“Reacher?” You whisper, anxiety bubbling in your throat as you prepare to ask the question that almost ruined it earlier.
“Hmm?” He responds sleepily, it he props himself up on his elbow and blinks the sleep away as he hears the concern in your voice.
“Why now?” You ask softly, trying to maintain eye contact, not wanting to shy away from this.
“Because,” He says softly, cupping your left cheek as he looks at you in earnest, “I’ve lost a lot of people I love, and I’m tired of pushing the people I love away, because I’d rather live and lose than never live at all.” He says and you can’t help but stifle a giggle.
“Did you just paraphrase Shakespeare at me?” You ask, cocking an eyebrow at him.
“It’s Tennyson, actually.” He grunts but the smile doesn’t leave his lips. You roll your eyes, he always was more into poetry than you.
“Do you want to crash here?” You ask softly leaning up to meet his lips, the kiss is soft, passionate, yet not the same as the hunger from before.
“Thought you’d never ask, c’mon let’s get cleaned up, I’m exhausted.” He mutters against your lips before hoisting you up into his arms, swinging his legs over the bed before carrying you to the bathroom. You grumble something about manhandling being degrading but he just laughs, because he knows deep down you like it. And you do too.
“Nobody knows it, but you’ve got a secret smile, and you use it only for me.” - Semisonic (Was listening to this while about mid-way through this and I just thought it was appropriate. Let me know what you think! I really liked writing this and would love some more Reacher stuff as it's pretty sparse as far as I can see? As always, likes and reblogs and comments are SO appreciated.
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pedrito-friskito · 1 year
Text
strawberry wine - joel miller x fem!reader
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during - part seven
series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3
tommy takes care of joel as best he can, and you try and make a break for it.
a/n: y’all I am having way too much fun writing this story. part 7 earlier than planned, and tbh I’ll probably post part 8 tomorrow if I can. the inspo is REAL and thank you all for the comments and reblogs and messages and general love and support - you have no idea how happy it makes me!! 🤍
word count: 4.6k
warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, angst, canon-typical violence and injuries, death, blood, near-death experiences, questionable decisions on the military’s part
✨follow @friskito-library for updates on new works/chapters!✨
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Tommy watches his brother fall apart.
It’s one thing after another, and he can’t blame Joel. The world’s ending; everything else is falling apart, it only makes sense that he would too. But still, it hurts. Watching his big brother — the only constant in his life for as long as he can remember — break down, it makes Tommy hurt in a way he can’t fully comprehend. It’s not fair.
He thinks about the soldier, in the days that follow. He’d come up the ridge just as the gunfire sounded, already looking for his brother and niece, never expecting to find them the way that he did. Joel was pleading, already hurt, his hands in the air, as good a white flag as any, and the soldier just didn’t care. It went against everything in Tommy, but when the soldier lifted the gun again, Tommy fired first.
But then…Sarah.
There was so much blood. He should be used to it, being who he is, seeing what he’s seen. But it’s different, it feels different, it sits in the back of his mind and haunts his every step. She was so young. So bright, so good. And then just, gone.
“Tommy, help me!”
He’d never heard Joel like that, so desperate, so lost. The only moment that rivalled it was when they’d been in the truck, Tommy driving, Joel with his cell phone pressed to his ear. Talking to you, asking where you were, if you were safe.
“It’s everywhere,” Joel had said, and Tommy had felt a distinct feeling of helplessness wash through him. Whatever was happening, it wasn’t just in Austin. He focused on the road, tried not to look too closely at the chaos in the distance. Shit was hitting the fan, in every sense.
He tightened his grip on the wheel as Joel continued talking to you. You were hurt, Joel telling you to patch yourself up. “I’m not hanging up until you do.”
Tommy could hear the ache in his brother’s voice. Joel had never let you go, not completely, and Tommy knew it. He didn’t blame Joel for it; having you around was the happiest he’d seen his brother in a long time. He liked you, too, liked your laugh and your sense of humour, the way you looked at Joel like you were seeing him for the first time, every time.
He had to swerve the truck as another car barrelled down the road in the opposite direction. Joel grabbed for the dashboard, phone still glued to his ear. “I’m gonna find you, you hear me? Just get out of Boston and I swear to you, I’m gonna find you!” A pause, and Joel stared at the phone. Tommy could see his brother’s hands shaking. “It’s dead.”
A moment later, the radio — which had been spewing news reports since Joel had picked Tommy up — went silent. Joel tossed his phone onto the truck floor, slammed his fist into the dash a moment later.
“Fuck!”
“She okay?” Tommy asked, and Joel scrubbed a hand over his face. “Joel?”
“Boyfriend attacked her,” Joel grumbled, rubbing his forehead again. “Tried to fuckin’ bite her. She said he’s dead.”
Tommy had balked. “She did that?”
“Dunno,” Joel had replied, and huffed a humourless laugh, the noise almost flat. “Is it fucked up if I say I hope she did?”
Tommy had pressed the gas a little harder, the truck speeding down the road. “Everything’s fucked up, seems like.” Silence hung over them only for a moment, punctuated a moment later by the loud whoosh of flames as a car down the road collided with a telephone pole. Joel cursed under his breath, Tommy kept on driving. “What are we gonna do, Joel?”
“We get Sarah, and we go,” his brother replied, and despite the waver in his voice, he sounded sure. Surer than Tommy felt. “East.”
East, Tommy thought. Boston. You. Like he’d expected anything different. “You really think you can find her?”
“I can sure as hell try.”
The conversation feels like a year ago, instead of the handful of days it has been. Maybe a week; he’s starting to lose track, already. They’ve been holed up for a few hours now, tucked in the garage of an abandoned house. They crossed the state line a few hours back, and so far, Arkansas looks the same as Texas: fucking ravaged. Joel sits on the floor, knees up to his chest, face buried in his arms. Tommy feels antsy.
“I’m gonna go look inside, see if there’s anything worth taking. You good?”
“Yeah.”
Seems like every neighbourhood they come across has been evacuated, the houses all empty. They have guns; he already had his own, and he’d swiped the rifle from the soldier that had attacked Joel and Sarah. Though he was quick to give Joel his, take the soldier’s for himself. Something about Joel touching the weapon that had killed Sarah made Tommy’s gut twist. He didn’t like it either, but it was out of necessity.
The house has obviously been picked through, toppled furniture and broken glass as far as he can tell, but they get lucky: a first aid kit, a mostly full bottle of whiskey, and some cans of beans. Tommy grabs it all, heads up the stairs. Clearly an older couple, but there’s a few men’s jackets in one of the closets, a pair of work boots, plain t-shirts. He takes the lot, offering the boots to Joel when he gets back to the garage. “These your size?”
His brother takes the boots with a flat expression, pulling the laces to peer at the sole. “About there, yeah. Don’t need ‘em though.”
“Take ‘em with us, for when you do,” Tommy counters, offering Joel one of the t-shirts next. “You should change.”
“M’fine.”
Tommy hooks the gun over his head, setting it on the ground beside him as he crouches in front of Joel. “You’re covered in blood,” he says, and his brother snatches the t-shirt. “Need to change your bandage, too.”
“And what exactly do you want me to—” Joel starts, but shuts up when Tommy tosses the first aid kit to him.
“Need help?” he asks as Joel gets to his feet, pulls his stained t-shirt off, tosses it aside. They’d found a half empty kit in a cafe back in Austin, dressed Joel’s wound before they took off completely. Joel was lucky, just a graze, but Tommy knows it must hurt like hell, and it’ll leave a scar, a reminder of that night, of what was lost.
Joel winces as he pulls of the old bandage, tossing it in the same direction as the t-shirt. “Don’t suppose you found any water in there?” He digs through the first aid kit. “No antiseptic.”
“No water,” Tommy confirms, but holds up the bottle of whiskey. “Just this.”
It’s not ideal, using the alcohol to clean the graze — and Joel nearly puts his fist through the wall despite the healthy sip he takes before Tommy wipes a piece of gauze damp with the whiskey over the wound — but it’ll work. They have to make do.
Joel sinks back onto the concrete floor once the wound is redressed, the new t-shirt pulled over his head. He takes the whiskey with him, and Tommy sits beside his brother, both of them with rifles in their laps. They sip the bottle in turn, and Tommy savours the burn as it slides down his throat, warmth spreading through his chest. It loosens his tongue, makes him regret the question the second it’s out of his mouth.
“You think she made it?” He knows he doesn’t have to call you by name. Not now.
“I have to,” is his brother’s only response.
+
They stop you at the gate.
You don’t know what you’re thinking, but after staking out the giant metal fence for a few hours, you at least know that trying to sneak over is only going to result in a bullet finding a home somewhere it shouldn’t. The soldiers were firing at anything that made a break for the gate, and running full-force didn’t make you brave, it made you stupid. It made you look like one of them. Infected. Mindless. Blood-thirsty. A few have come sprinting up to the post you’ve been watching, and the soldiers have put them down without batting an eye.
As you’ve watched, a few groups of people have approached the post. All the same, their hands in the air, desperation in their voices, carried to you on the smoke-tinged breeze. Please help us. You’ve watched them get directed away from the post, towards a still-standing building a few yards from the gate, where a military-issue tent is set up. Some of them walk back out, are directed towards an armoured truck parked along the gate, and then the truck disappears, only for a new one to reappear in its stead a few minutes later. It’s like clockwork, but only some end up in the trucks.
Others are carried out the back of the tent, bodies dumped into one of the pits left by the bombing. It makes your skin crawl.
It takes a while, lacking the confidence to put yourself in the line of fire when you could just keep hiding in the city. The soldiers might find you eventually — if the Infected didn’t find you first — but if you could just keep going, maybe there was a break in the fence somewhere, a way out besides what lies ahead of you. But finally, after a few hours of squatting in the rubble, your limbs aching from staying pressed against brick, you step out of the alley, and put your hands in the air. You’ve pulled down the sleeves of the hoodie you’re wearing, letting it cover the bandage around your arm, and you grip the cuffs with your fingers as you raise your arms.
“I’m not infected!”
A flash of movement, and the barrels of at least ten rifles are pointed directly at you. The hair on the back of your neck stands up, bile rising in the back of your throat. A suitable reaction, you think, and you swallow back the fear that makes you want to run. It’ll only get you killed that much faster.
“Name!” one of the soldier’s shouts. You can’t tell who; they’re all wearing helmets, visors covering their faces, turning it into a sea of darkness staring back at you. Your fingers flex, and you call you name back.
“I need to leave.”
One of them starts laughing. Another two look at each other, sharing a look you can’t suss out. A few lower their guns, and the prickle along your spine fizzles slightly. A visor lifts, revealing a soot-streaked face, a grim expression. “Why on earth would you wanna do that?”
“My family is in Texas,” you say, your voice surprisingly strong, if not a little thready from the smoke. “I have to go find them.”
“You’re gonna walk halfway across the country,” a faceless voice asks, “with a baseball bat? Girl, you don’t have a hope in hell.”
“Beats sitting around here, waiting to die,” you throw back, and the soldier that had lifted his visor lifts his brow. “Let me pass.”
“Can’t do that,” he replies, and steps up in front of you. He’s got a strange face, eyes a little too dark, hair hidden by the helmet, a scar on his mouth. Something about him reminds you of Dean, but a much harder version, his face more angular, the voice slightly deeper. “No one gets out of the city, we have orders.”
“You can’t hold me hostage here,” you start, stepping towards him. Your hands are still in the air. “My family is out there, I need to—”
“No one gets out,” another soldier interrupts. “FEDRA’s orders.”
Your brow creases. “FEDRA?”
“Federal Disaster Response Agency,” the strange-faced soldier answers.
“So the military is taking over?”
“I never said that.”
You sigh, rolling your eyes. “Just let me go, please? I can’t stay here, my family—”
“Is in Texas,” the soldier replies, nodding along. He hefts his gun slightly, adjusting his grip, and you don’t miss the meaning, the silent threat behind it. “And you’re here, in Boston. Now you don’t have a car, or any real weapons, and we have orders. You’re not going anywhere.”
You bite back the protest that crawls up your throat. If you’re getting out, it’s not through here. “Then where am I supposed to go?”
“There’s a shelter,” he tells you, “in the mall. There’s food, water, beds. It’s temporary, but it’s safe.”
“Temporary, like the gate?”
He gives you a long look, then gestures towards the tent you’ve been watching them shuffle people through. “Let’s get you checked out, and then we’ll get you there.”
You match his stare, setting your jaw, digging your heels in slightly. The muzzle of his rifle dips just slightly, and his eyes pinch, narrowing at you.
“I’ll only ask nicely once.”
Heart in your throat, you drop your hands, and when he gestures towards the tent again, you go. Every single part of you is shaking as you head for the canvas structure, and once you’re inside, it’s no different. It’s shockingly clean, a metal table in the middle, a smaller one to the side. “Put your bag there,” the soldier orders, that familiar stern military tone, pointing to the bigger table. “The bat, too.”
You do as you’re told, seeing from the corner of your eye that he’s still got both hands on his gun. “I’m keeping the bat,” you say over your shoulder, pulling it out from where you’d slid it between the straps of the bag, resting against your lower back. The metal rings when you set it on the table. “For the record.”
“Never said you couldn’t keep it, did I?”
“You want me to go to that shelter in the mall,” you say, sliding the bag off your shoulders, placing it next to the bat, and then turning back to the soldier, “with every other terrified person in this city, and you expect me to believe you’re gonna let me walk in with a weapon?”
The soldier’s jaw goes tight, eyes even tighter. “Strip.”
“Excuse me?”
“Take your clothes off,” he says, clearly getting exasperated. “I might let you keep the bat, but there’s no way I’m letting you into the mall shelter knowing you’ve been bitten. Strip.”
“Bitten?” you repeat, your mind sparking at the new information. “Is that how this is spreading?” To appease him, hoping he’ll give you a bit more information, you pull the hoodie off, disentangling your arms slowly. “That’s what’s turning people into those—”
The hoodie comes off, revealing your bandaged shoulder and forearm, and the gun is pointed back in your face again, a soft click reaching your ears. “You’re injured.”
“Y’know, I usually like to at least know a guy’s name before he sees me half-naked.”
He ignores you. “You’re injured.”
You heave a breath, tucking the edge of the gauze around your arm back into place. “You dropped bombs on this city. I dare you to find someone out there who isn’t injured.”
The soldier just stares at you. You just stare back.
“Take the bandages off,” he orders, and your hands curl into fists. “I need to see.”
“Tell me your name first,” you counter, still holding his gaze.
“This isn’t a negotiation.”
“I’m aware; you’re the one holding the gun. But I also know you’ve been taking bodies out of this tent more than you’ve been sending people to the shelter. So, again, tell me your name.”
He leans back slightly, takes a deep breath, eyes darting to the side before meeting yours again. “Corporal Nicholas Cowan, ma’am.”
“Ma’am?” you repeat, almost laughing. “That’s a bit much, but—”
“The bandages.”
“Okay, okay.”
Carefully, you peel back the gauze on your shoulder. It wasn’t deep enough to need stitches or anything, and you’d slathered it with some kind of ointment in the first aid kit. It still looks pretty awful, and the tape along the edge of the bandage has left little indents in your skin, but it’s definitely healing. Your arm is next, that wound fresher, and it starts to bleed as soon as you pull the gauze away. Cowan gives you a new piece of gauze a moment later, tossing it onto the table between you rather than handing it right to you. “What happened?”
“I was in the bookstore, down on South Street, when you all decided to start dropping bombs. Fucking lucky a bookshelf didn’t fall on my head.”
He still has the gun pointed at you, though the grip is slightly more relaxed, and he circles you slowly, eyes glued to your shoulder. “Those look like claw marks.”
“That’s because they are.”
“So that happened before the bombs.”
“It did.”
“I’m supposed to shoot, the moment I see anything like that. I have orders.”
“It’s not a bite.”
“I know that.” He swallows so hard you can see his throat bob. “They haven’t figured it all out. The bite seems to make it happen faster, but I don’t know if—”
“I’ll tell you what, Corporal,” you interrupt, reaching for your bag, pulling the first aid kit out and fishing out new bandages, “I start to turn into one of those things, and I give you my full permission to blow my fucking brains out.” Cowan balks, his eyes widening for a moment as he stares back at you. “But for the record, it’s been seven days, and I’m still here, faculties intact. So, politely, go fuck yourself, and just let me through the gate.”
+
He doesn’t.
Cowan lets you redress, once your bandages have been hastily rewrapped; you’d protested and he told you they’d give you proper treatment at the shelter. Once that was done, you grabbed your pack — and the bat, which Cowan barely seemed to notice — and he grabbed you roughly by the arm, dragging you out of the tent and steering you towards one of the armoured trucks parked at the fence.
You’re all but stuffed inside, and Cowan gets into the passenger’s seat, a masked soldier behind the wheel. “The mall,” he says simply, and the soldier just nods, and the engine rumbles to life, pulling away from the chain link and heading back into the city.
You keep the bat in your lap as they drive, your eyes glued to the window, to the mess that now only partially resembles Boston. You’d seen enough of the destruction running through the streets, but the truck takes a few pathways you hadn’t. Some roads aren’t as destroyed, obviously not targeted by the bombs, and the asphalt is even, still intact. There’s no getting past the bodies, however, and that pulls your eyes away, staring down at your bruised and dirty hands, wrapped around the bat.
When the truck stops outside the mall, the driver doesn’t get out. You lift your head then, taking in the space around you. It’s more of the same, but the mall looks mostly undisturbed, except for the broken windows, the burned displays. Cowan slides out of the passenger’s side, pulls open your door a moment later. “Let’s go.”
There are three more soldiers standing at the entrance, and as Cowan starts to lead you through, one of them stops you, lifting a hand. “You can’t take that in there,” the soldier says, pointing to the bat. “Give it here.”
“No.”
Cowan sighs, turning back to you, waving off the soldier. “C’mon, just—”
“No,” you say again, your voice harder. “You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m walking around this city without it.”
“You’re safe in the mall,” Cowan says, nearly rolling his eyes at you, but you just lift a brow. “It’s a shelter, and we’re patrolling from the outside.” He points over his shoulder, and sure enough, you see a few more armoured trucks rolling across the street, armed soldiers trailing behind it. Like it makes a difference.
You almost laugh. “Nowhere is safe anymore.” You tighten your grip on the bat. “You really think your chain link fence is gonna save us from those things?”
He gives you another one of those hard stares, but relents, waving off the other soldiers and grabbing the handle on your bag, all but dragging you through the entrance. “If she attacks someone, it’s on you, Cowan!” one of the soldier’s shouts, and he just grumbles under his breath.
“Do me a favour,” he says to you as he releases you, making you stumble a step before he falls into step beside you, “don’t be more trouble than you’re worth.”
“And what am I worth, Corporal?”
“You’re alive, and you’re not one of them,” he says, and you don’t miss the thread of…is that hope, in his voice? “So that makes you worth something.”
He’s quiet, the rest of the way. There’s no electricity, the overhead fluorescents dark, and Cowan clicks on a flashlight, lighting your path deeper into the mall. There’s the whir of generators, as you get closer, big lights that looks like they were taken from construction sites. You see the food court has been turned into a makeshift hospital, and Cowan tells you the big department store on the main level is where you’ll sleep, for the time being.
There aren’t that many people, which makes your throat go a little thick. How many people have died, how many have turned, how many made it out of Boston before they put up the fence?
Cowan takes your arm again as you walk towards the food court, calling for someone as you get closer. “Deanna! I got one for you.”
An older lady, maybe late fifties, pokes her head out from behind one of the triage curtains. Her face is both kind and harsh at the same time, bright green eyes, grey-streaked hair pulled into a long ponytail, blood-stained scrubs and a tool belt around her waist that’s filled with medical instruments instead of actual tools. It almost makes you laugh.
“Must be special,” she says, her voice a little gravelly as she approaches you, wiping her hands on her pants. “You don’t usually escort them all the way down here, Nicky.” Her eyes drop to the bat in your hands and her brows raise. “Or let them come in armed.”
Once she’s close enough, Cowan releases you and takes Deanna by the arm, steering her off to the side. You stand there awkwardly, the bat banging against your leg. Your forearm is a little sore, and you’re half-sure it’s soaked through the bandages you’d haphazardly retied after Cowan’s inspection. You glance over at the pair a few times, seeing them both shooting you looks before turning back to each other. Deanna looks confused, then upset, then almost forgiving. You can’t quite figure out Cowan’s expression.
After a few minutes, she just nods, and Cowan turns on his heel, heading back in the direction you came, leaving you alone. Deanna gives you a once-over as she walks towards you again, putting a warm hand on your back and starting to steer you towards one of the curtains. “Let’s get you cleaned up, honey.”
She leads you behind one of the curtains, then another, and once you’re in the little makeshift room, she pulls another curtain into place. “Nicky said we need to be quick about this,” she says, leaning up on her toes to peer over the curtains, assumedly to see if anyone is coming. “And quiet.”
“Okay.”
You let her take your bag, set it on the chair that’s set to the side. You’re reluctant to let go of the bat, but when you finally let her take it, she puts it beside you on the cot. “You’ve been out there this whole time?” she asks, her voice just above a whisper. You nod. “Even the bombs?” Another nod. “Show me where you’re hurt.”
You hold your breath as you peel off the hoodie. You were right, your arm has bled through the bandage, and your shoulder aches with the movement. Deanna doesn’t say a word at first, her brow furrowed as she looks you over.
She tends to your arm first, wiping the blood from your skin, using some sort of glue to close the wound before she wraps it in fresh gauze. She circles you slowly, just like Cowan had, and you hear her sharp inhale when she sees your shoulder. “What have we here?” She wipes at more of the blood, and the sting makes you tense, your hand twitching towards the bat at your side. “What did that?”
“…boyfriend.”
You look over your shoulder to see her staring at you, a look that toes the line between sympathy and fear on her face. “Was he…”
You give a slight nod. “He was.”
“And is he…?”
“Not anymore.”
Her brows raise. “You did that?”
Another nod. “I did that.”
She blows out a breath, shaking her head side to side. “Damn, girl. Remind me not to get on your bad side.”
It’s the first time you’ve actually laughed since your birthday.
They give you some clothes, stuff that actually fits, pilfered from one of the stores. Toiletries even, and you spend far too much time brushing your teeth. No showers, unfortunately, but the pack of baby wipes you’re offered instead makes up for it. It nearly makes you cry to see your skin clean of the dust and ash and blood.
They give you food, too. A grocery bag filled with non-perishables, more granola bars and cans of soup and whatnot. You try not to chug an entire bottle of water when they give you a second bag filled with drinks; not just water, but sports drinks, random cans of pop, clearly raided from the mall vending machines. And a hot meal, courtesy of one of the food court hot plates. It’s some kind of stew, noodles and meat and veggies, and for a moment, all you can think about is the Thai food that was waiting on your kitchen counter.
Feels like a lifetime ago.
Deanna walks you to the department store, gives your name to one of the soldier’s standing guard. He points you in the right direction, and she goes with you, a steady hand on your back, until you find the cot you’ve been assigned, tucked in the corner of the section where all the towels would have been, the displays still up on the walls. “We took them all already,” she tells you, giving you a half-grin as she picks up the blanket on your cot, unfolding the fabric. “Those extra-plush suckers make great bandages.”
You’re quiet, tucking your bag and your food and clothing under the cot. They’d refilled your first aid kit, too. Your knees are almost shaking as you lower yourself onto the edge of the bed, and the relief that washes over you is almost overwhelming. Tears spring in your eyes, but you don’t have the energy to wipe them away.
“Get some sleep, honey,” she tells you, and puts a soft hand on your shoulder as you slip sideways, collapsing onto the pillow. “You’ll be safe. Sleep as much as you need.”
She pulls the blankets over you, and it’s silly, but you clutch the bat to your chest. You’d wiped it down, too, cleaned the blood and dirt from the metal. Sleep takes hold as soon as you let your eyes close, and you pray no nightmares follow.
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literatecowboy · 7 months
Text
Dr. Feelgood
7. The Healing Properties of Kisses
Next Part Fic Masterlist Summary: You've been in trouble at work several times before for "lack of professionalism" but now you've gone too far. You've been reassigned to Task Force 141 as a temporary doctor to replace the ones they've made quit out of frustration. You must either prove yourself and earn your former position back at a prestigious military hospital in California or face dishonorable discharge. Author's Notes: This is my first fanfiction - please be gentle. Additionally, the reader's callsign is "Feelgood." I have done my best to write the reader as ambiguous regarding appearance, but she/her pronouns and AFAB anatomy will be utilized. I hope for this to be a slow-burn romance with Simon "Ghost" Riley.  Warnings: Gunshot wounds, medical terminology and procedures, SMUT MDNI
-----
You woke up still in Simon’s arms the next morning. He’d woken up before you and was running your fingers through your hair, watching you. 
“You watching me sleep?” you mumbled, yawning and cuddling closer to him, leaning your head on his chest. 
“Tried to get up but you clung on,” he mused, a chuckle rumbling through his chest. You rolled your eyes and sat up. Simon’s heart withered a little as you pulled away from him but he didn’t reach for you. 
“Does the mask trap in your morning breath?” you asked with a laugh, looking down at him. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you back down to him, rolling up his mask. 
Before you could hesitate you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. Simon kissed you back, pulling your body close against his as your lips moved together. 
You were the first to pull away after a moment, leaning your forehead against his and smiling. He rubbed your back gently as he studied you - his intense gaze was warm and oddly comforting. 
“So it’s true,” he said, gently squeezing your hip and running his palm over your rear. 
“What is?” you asked, pecking him on the lips and snuggling in closer. 
“Kisses do have healing properties.”
You spent much of your week with Simon that way: wrapped up in his arms or in his lap, your lips pressed to his. He took you to see the sights and helped you get your lay of the land, treated you to dinners in pubs and chip shops in every direction. One night you even cooked for him and you swore you’d never seen him happier. 
On the last night of the time you had together, you returned to the main base hospital to assist the emergency department. You made it home late but instead of heading to take a shower, made a beeline toward the med bay, deciding to stop putting off your preparations for the following day’s evac. 
You’d stripped yourselves of your scrubs at the hospital and were thankful for the cover of night as you wore little other than soft shorts and a tank top as you bustled around, packing supplies into your kit. The door opened quietly behind you and in an instant, a body was pressed up against you and a pair of lips found your neck. 
“Simon!” you giggled in surprise, trying to wiggle away. He growled softly and pulled you closer, biting gently at your neck and pushing his hips against yours. There was a bulge in his pants - one you weren’t unfamiliar with as he often woke up with morning wood - but it still made heat rush to your cheeks. 
“You look good,” he mumbled, running his hand up your side and cupping your breast over your tank top. You laughed and leaned back into his touch, wiggling your ass against his crotch. 
When his hand slid back down to your hip, you guided it up your shirt and over your bra, encouraging him to feel more of you. He turned you around then, pushing you back against your desk and gazing deep into your eyes. 
“You want me, love?” he murmured, stepping close to you and holding your hips gently. You bit your lower lip and nodded, meeting his gaze. 
“I do. I really like you, Simon,” you said softly, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. He obliged you but pulled away more quickly than you’d have liked. 
“Not here. Come on.”
As the door to his bedroom shut behind you, he sat back on his bed and pulled you into his lap. His lips found yours once more and you wrapped your arms around his neck as his hands found your waist, squeezing gently. You ground yourself down slowly against his bulge, feeling your arousal pool in your panties as you could feel him growing and hardening beneath you. 
“I’ve been thinking about this since I first saw you,” he murmured as he slid one hand past your waistband, gently caressing your ass and giving it a squeeze. You giggled and moved away from him briefly to tug your shirt off, returning to kissing him an instant later. 
“When I first saw you I put my finger up your butt,” you giggled, making him roll his eyes as he popped one of your breasts out of your bra, finding your nipple with his lips. 
“Not bein’ kinky with you right now, love. It’s gonna be good and proper the first time I make you cum,” he growled, biting your breast and leaving a light mark. 
You tugged at his shirt and he obliged you, tugging it off and throwing it aside. At the same time, you unhooked your bra, freeing your other breast and making Simon groan as he buried his face in them, biting and kissing and licking. 
You gasped, a moan falling from your lips as he shifted up for better access to you, his erection settling perfectly between your legs and sending shivers of pleasure through your body as it brushed against your clothed clit. 
“You like that, pretty girl?” he asked teasingly, leaning up and kissing you as you ground your hips down against him more rapidly. 
Your soft noises must have done something to him because he flipped you onto your back, tugging your shorts and panties down in one go and kissing your inner thighs. 
“You’re a tease!” you gasped as he ghosted over your entrance, leaning over to press more kisses to your inner thigh. He chuckled, looking deep into your eyes as he finally found your core, dragging his tongue up through your folds and wrapping his lips around your clit. 
You gasped and your head fell back, your hips shaking in pleasure as Simon’s tongue plunged into your core. He groaned, the noise sending vibrations through your body and making you shiver in pleasure.
You could feel your orgasm building as he devoured you like a man starved, holding your thighs to his ears. 
“Simon!” you gasped, your back arching as you squeezed your thighs tighter around his head. This only made him thrust his tongue deeper into you, his nose brushing your clit and sending jolts of pleasure through your core. 
Simon grunted, grinding his hips desperately against the bed as he devoured you, his eyes fluttering back open as he held your gaze. You felt the tightness in your stomach snap and you came with a cry, shuddering, your hips jerking involuntarily. 
Simon’s rolled-up mask was drenched in your slick now and some rubbed off on your cheek as he leaned up and kissed you, pushing his lips onto yours aggressively. You could taste your sweetness on him and moaned into the kiss as he pulled your hips against his and aligned the tip of his freed, throbbing cock against your entrance. 
“Please, love, let me fuck you,” he growled. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as he ground his cock in between your folds desperately, cradling you in his arms and pushing his lips back against yours. 
“Please!” you gasped, arching your back into his touches. He took hold of your hip in one hand and grabbed your breast with the other as he pushed in slowly, his head falling back from pleasure as your walls tightened around him. 
“Fuck, you’re so good,” he groaned as he inched his way in, unable to resist pulling out as far as he could before thrusting all the way in so that he was buried deep inside of you. 
“You’re so - so big,” you gasped, feeling heat rush to your face as a sudden shyness overtook you. You tried to cover your face with your arm but he pulled it away gently as he started thrusting ever so slowly. 
“No hiding, pretty girl. Need to see that face, need to see how good I’m treatin’ ya,” he cooed, caressing your cheek and leaning down to kiss you again. His thrusts picked up speed until he set a comfortable pace, drawing moans and whimpers from your lips and grunts and gasps from his. 
He pulled away to admire you as you felt your climax building. There was tenderness, even love in the eyes that raked over your body as your breasts bounced and your back arched, your mouth falling open as he found the sensitive spot inside of you. 
“Fuck, Simon, you’re so good!” you cried, reaching down to rub your clit as your eyes fluttered shut. He pulled your hand away and replaced it with his own, gently intertwining your fingers with his and resting his forehead on yours. 
“Cum around my cock, love,” he purred, nipping gently at your neck as he angled his thrusts to brush directly over the sensitive spot. With a cry you came for the second time, clenching around him and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him close. 
Simon could resist no longer and came just after you, groaning and burying his face in the crook of your neck as his hips stuttered and his thrusts faltered. He buried himself as deep inside of you as he could and came, filling you so full that seed dripped out around his cock and onto the bed. 
“Fuck, love, you’re all mine now,” he moaned, his lips crashing down against yours as you both panted.
You caught your breath together slowly. Simon eventually fetched a towel and gently cleaned the both of you. He turned the lights off before he returned to bed and when he leaned in to kiss you, you could no longer feel the balaclava that had covered his face since you’d met him. 
You woke up the next morning tangled together in the sheets, light streaming in through the window. Simon was already awake and had put the mask back on, cradling you in his arms and stroking your hair with gentle fingers. He slowed when he saw you wake, untangling his hand from your hair and wrapping both arms around your waist to pull you closer. 
“Good morning,” you said groggily, rubbing your eyes and yawning as you snuggled into his chest, kissing over where his heart was. He hummed but said nothing, only gently rubbed your back and massaged your shoulders. 
“Boys’re back today,” he said after a moment.
“Should have been doing that all week,” you groaned. He snorted and kissed the top of your head, giving you a little pat on the ass. 
“Got the whole future, love,” he said softly. You smiled. 
“So you meant it? I’m all yours now?” you asked teasingly, looking up at him with a cheeky smile. He grunted and pulled you closer. 
“You’ve been mine for longer than you know.”
-----
Taglist: @iamaliceinwonderland, @itsmeamysworld, @ghostlythots, @oranoyaora, @keiva1000
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mirrorpriest · 1 year
Text
pantalone x male reader
CW: yandere/dark themes, doesn't really get into specifics its just a dark fic to explore the concept of being a fatui agent. i feel like pantalone is more likely to own someone than be 'fond' of them.
you burrow down into your uniform coat, willing him to glaze completely over you. the mask on your face only slightly obscures your pinched expression, lips turned into a sharp frown. yet his eyes still find you, pluck you out from the line of Fatui recruits, pin you like a butterfly to corkboard. if only you could go back in time and stop this before it all started. Celestia has long forsaken this world, though, and no one will hear your prayers.
it wasn't always like this. you used to be shaken but ready, like any other young recruit. not wanting death but willing if that's what it takes. living in Snezhnaya there are very few options for a young man without skills or without prospects. join the military or let your family starve. hardly a choice.
then you were assigned to Pantalone, ninth of the Harbingers. the one obscured by polite smiles and civil etiquette. you considered yourself lucky to not fall under the supervision of Harbingers like Capitano or, even more unfortunate, Il Dottore. Pantalone, as menacing as he seemed, was known to be a gentleman. a careful disguise for his immorality, sure, but not wantonly cruel.
which is why you tried your best to follow his orders to the letter. all you had to do was keep your head down and follow his word, then, perhaps, you could pass by unnoticed within the Fatui. where others failed, you gave your all to succeed. never returning unless you had fulfilled your duties. under the Tsaritsa, it is better to die following orders than to return a failure. you gave every inch of your body to battle so you could survive. all you wanted was to survive. live another day to hopefully make enough money for your family, as any dutiful son should.
perhaps that was always your biggest downfall. too steadfast, too responsible. you remember the day you first realized your mistake. the way your pressed uniform felt too stiff and too stifling in the warm air of the parlor, standing at Pantalone's side as he received a mission report from Irina: a stout, sturdy Fatui agent, strong muscles hidden by her thick coat. the dismay was clear not just from her expression but from the way her shoulders slouched, body held stiff as stone. Pantalone let her stand, stew, in that silence before him as he sipped on his drink, an expensive aged wine from Mondstadt worth more than your entire month's pay.
"Mikhail," Pantalone ignores Irina completely to glance over at the Fatui agent by the door, a man you know only in passing. a man with assignments that make your stomach churn. The Regrator wears that civil, polite smile, "I leave this agent's recompense to you. don't disappoint me."
you stand firm at Pantalone's side, even as Irina stutters out protests and promises to do better. you shove down the nausea boiling in your gut. what she did wrong has nothing to do with you. when Pantalone sighs you almost leap out of your own skin, nerves suddenly on edge and body willing you to flee.
"Everyday I have to rectify another agent's damage. This is why you're my favorite." Pantalone's tone is wistful, but his expression is as unapproachable as ever. it takes you a moment to realize it's the first time he's spoken to you if it wasn't to designate a mission. your throat is dry as he sets his drink down, standing suddenly. his heavy coat drapes his figure, casting his body into a singular wall before you. between you and the parlor's doors. you couldn't run even if you wanted to.
his hands are careful, almost gentle, as he fusses over your uniform jacket. you stand unflinching under his ministrations. in retrospect, it was a test. not a means to touch you or be close to you. he was testing your loyalty, your ability to grit your teeth and bear with the discomfort. you must have done something horribly wrong, in the end, to have his focused gaze on you and that smile open to show blinding teeth.
"Pack your things, agent. I will be making a trip to Mondstadt in just a few hours."
it's a horrible thing, to be owned. it's more horrible to be under the care of a man who sees people as objects to possess. if you had known being under Pantalone's guidance meant being an extension of his person, perhaps you would have been happy to volunteer as one of the Second Harbinger's test subjects.
even on far away missions, you feel his severe eyes upon you still. flat, white teeth snapping at your flesh. you have no choice, have never had a choice, but to return to his side.
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babybatgrimm · 1 year
Text
Seven Minutes in Heaven | Johnny 'Soap' Mactavish X Military!Reader
Summary: A trip to the bar then back to base ends with the team playing teenage sleepover games.
Reader call sign Ryōshi, Japanese for Hunter
Warnings: MDNI, 18+, SMUT, Fem!Reader, grinding/thigh riding, praise kink, p in v sex, creampie, agoraphilia (sex in public places), overstimulation,
A/N: Spicy oneshot~
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The night had come and gone. Starting in a dull mood after a mission gone against plan, and ending with eruptions of intoxicated laughter. The evening drawing out into the wee hours of the morning.
Throughout the evening, as the warmth spread through his extremities, Soap found himself stealing glances and smiles from Ryōshi. She hadn't been with the team long, only two years, compared to the rest of them. Despite that, she got on amazingly well with the team, quickly bonding with them all.
She did however, take a particular liking to Soap. Of the team, she'd spent the most time with him outside and during deployment. Often, they'd go to a pub like tonight, or they'd just sit in one of their rooms and talk, or Ryōshi beats Soap at Mario Kart.
The group, having heard a suggestion for playing uno (not that they will remember who by the next day) all decided the base was the best location for their shenanigans. And so, after they all stumble their way back to base, Soap sticking a little too close to Ryōshi.
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Soap wasn't sure how he'd gotten into this situation. He was still buzzed, but had sobered up when he and Ryōshi got shoved into a closet. The team, in their drunken wisdom, had decided to play a bunch of games. It started with the Uno, then became Crazy Eights, then Go Fish, next was Never Have I Ever, followed by spin the bottle, eventually landing on seven minutes in heaven.
Soap had spun the bottle, which stopped pointing at Ryōshi. The group let out a chorus of "Ooooohh~" before promptly shoving the pair into the closet. Soap wasn't sure how long they'd been inside, but it was definitely longer than seven minutes by now. He shuffled awkwardly, trying not to touch Ryōshi as she fidgeted in front of him.
"They could've chosen a better closet." She states bluntly, frustrated by the situation they're stuck in. Eventually, Ryōshi manages to reach the door handle, twist it, and- "Locked. Of course they did." She grumbles, sighing and leaning her head back against the wall.
Soap groans at the discovery, feeling his face heat as he examines her figure, taking note of every curve his eyes drag over. Feeling his pants tighten as he sees her shirt has ridden up, exposing her midriff, along with every scar and muscle that decorates it.
"I suppose we have to get comfy with each other till someone comes looking for us or we find a way out." She sighs, looking up at him, feeling her own face heat as she finally notices the small distance between their faces. Soap clears his throat after a moment of the two staring at each other.
"I suppose we do, but... I don't know how we could without you... Being on me." He struggles the last part, his face heating further, his ears burning as he stares down at her.
"Well... I wouldn't be opposed to it..." She replies quietly in the small space, her eyes darting away from his for a moment. Soap's eyes burn into her, flicking to her lips for a moment before he thinks about what he's doing.
In a hasty motion, he crashes his lips into hers, pressing her back against the wall behind her. His hands move to grab her waist, grasping for purchase as her arms wrap around his neck.
Soap is quick to move, peppering her neck with kisses, slotting his thigh between hers. As he presses his thigh up he lifts her off the ground, pushing her up the wall to be almost level with him. The motion pulls a soft moan from her lips, quiet beside his ear, but lights a fire in his chest all the same.
He leans into the wall with his knee, pinning his leg in place and using his grip on her waist to grind her into his thigh. He's gentle at first, slow ruts up and down his thigh, pulling soft pants and mewls from Ryōshi.
Eventually though, he gets impatient. His hunger for her too great for him to force down. His grip tightens, grinding her harder and faster against his thigh until she's moaning and panting softly in the quiet room.
Soap takes small nips and nibbles at her neck, sucking soft hickeys into her skin, scattering them up and down her neck, chest and shoulders. He pulls his head away, leaning back to observe her as he grinds her into his thigh.
"Fu~ck lass, you look devine.~" He growls, his voice gravelly and lustful as he watches her expression contort in pleasure. Until he stops moving her hips, making her whine in frustration. "I can't wait any longer, bonny." One hand moves to his belt, undoing it and letting it fall to the side before undoing his pants.
Ryōshi bites her lip, following suit with her own belt. Soap let's her drop to the floor, grabbing her hips and spinning her to face the wall. He yanks her cargo pants down, giving her lace covered ass a smack before pulling her panties down to meet her pants.
"Waited so long for you to let me have you, lass." He growls into her ear, leaning over her and pressing his chest to her back. The bulge in his underwear perfectly lined up against her heat, pulling mewls and pants from her lips as he grinds into her.
Ryōshi bites her lip at the feeling, attempting to muffle her moans. Soap leans back once more, grinding harder into her and forcing a louder moan from her lips before a whine as he stops and pulls himself off her.
She hears shuffling behind her before she gasps, which quickly turns into a moan as she feels his tongue run between her folds. His arms wrap under her hips, hands resting on her ass and pulling her closer to his face as he laps at her clit.
Ryōshi's eyes shut as her moans grow, putting her palms flat against the wall to brace herself as Soap suckles on her clit. His nose is buried in her folds as he kneels on the floor, seemingly very comfortable where he is.
His grip around her hips tightens as her legs begin to shake, smirking as he increases speed, drawing louder, higher pitched moans from Ryōshi as her eyes squeeze shut. With a few harder suckles on her clit, she hits her climax, her thighs trying to close but Soap keeps them apart with his biceps. He rides out her orgasm, lapping at every drop she gives him and gently suckling on her clit.
Her breath is laboured as she comes down from her high, her legs still shaking as she leans into the wall. She hears shuffling behind her once more before feeling warm breath against her neck. "You taste like my last meal~" He purrs.
Ryōshi gasps slightly as she feels the head of his cock rub against her folds, her sensitive clit making her clench around nothing whenever he rubs against it. "Tell me, sweets, do you want me to fuck you nice, or hard?" He asks with another smack on her ass.
She whimpers and whines at the impact. "Don't be gentle, Johnny~" she begs, still panting softly. Her words and his name ignite a primal fire inside him. He slips the head of his cock inside her, groaning at the tightness.
With one, slow, smooth trust, he buries his cock to the hilt inside her, letting out a groaned moan as she engulfs his member. She lets out a moan, shutting her eyes as she adjusts to his size, small tears sparkling in her waterline before she relaxes around him.
As soon as she relaxes, he begins trusting into her. Following her request, his thrusts clap with each impact of his hips against her ass. Her moans, his grunts, the smacking of skin, and wet squelching filled the tiny room.
The slick from her first orgasm made it all too easy for Soap to move faster. Like a dog in heat, Soap grabs both Ryōshi's hips, using the leverage to force himself harder into her. "F-fuck sorry lass, you're so t-tight, gonna cum, gotta pull out!" He groans, hunching over as he pants.
Ryōshi shakes her head hastily. "N-no! P-please don't! Cum in me, Johnny!" She pleads, leaning her head back and moaning loudly. The primal fire burns brighter at her request, and who is he to deny her when he's finally got the chance to make her feel good?
Soap can only nod, his focus flooding to chasing his high. He leans forward, his forehead pressing against the nape of her neck and pulling louder moans from the pair of them with the new angle.
Moments later, Soap finally meets his climax, a loud groan leaving his chest as he paints her walls white. She moans at the feeling, expecting him to pull out. She was wrong.
Instead, Soap stays hard, his thrusts unwavering as he wraps his arms around her lower chest, under her breasts and using the hold to force her hard into the wall with each thrust.
Ryōshi moans in bliss, her legs shaking with overstimulation. If it weren't for Soap holding her steady, would have already buckled beneath her. Each thrust into her pulls a grunt from Soap, groaning into her shoulders as he picks up his pace.
Between her overstimulation and Soap rutting into her at an ungodly pace, Ryōshi is quick to reach another orgasm. Her walls squeeze his cock, making him moan and groan.
"Fuck, fuck, fu~ck~" Soap moans, pumping a second load into her, but his thrusts are still unwavering. His cum and saliva mix with her slick, forming a sticky concoction that leaks out of her.
It would be a sight to behold if someone were to open the door. Soap, pants pulled down to his knees, both arms around Ryōshi's chest, cock buried deep inside her weeping hole, and rutting into his teammate like there's no tomorrow.
And Ryōshi. Cheek, palms and chest pressed against the wall, blissfully moaning as Soap thrusts in and out of her, her slick dripping down her thighs and sticking to his hips, making various strings of lewd web connecting her ass and his hips that spreads with each impact.
The constant friction of Soap's determined thrusts bring Ryōshi to climax once more, a blissful shout leaving her lips as she tosses her head back. Feeling her walls tighten down around him again, Soap groans in ecstasy, thrusting a few more times before he pours a third load into her.
With that, Soap's thrusts finally waver, his arms sliding down to hold around her waist, pulling her flush against his chest. Ryōshi gasps for breath, still coming down from her high, looking back at Soap over her shoulder, her own fucked out gaze meeting his desperate eyes.
He stares back at her in a lustful daze for a moment before suddenly pulling out, making Ryōshi whine at the loss of friction. "I wannae see that pretty face, lass." He says huskily, whipping her around and pressing her back against the wall.
Ryōshi gasps at the contact of the cold stone, locking eyes with Soap before he moves toward her, crashing their lips together once more. With ease Soap wraps his arms under her legs, lifting her up so her thighs are against her torso. Letting her drop so her knees rest over his biceps as he cups her ass, taking a firm grasp.
In a swift motion, Soap thrusts back inside her and returns to a quick pace. Their moans quickly returned in volume, the sloppy, smacking sound of Soap rutting into her growing louder than before with his harsh impacts.
The new angle he's given himself allowing him to push deeper inside her, groaning and panting in desperation, his eyes squeezing shut as he focuses on holding off his own high. He locks eyes with her, watching her eyes as they flutter and roll around her head.
"C'mon bonny, let me see that pretty face~" His voice is gravely and low, his hands gripping hard on the tops of her thighs. "I wannae see the look on your face when you cum for me~"
Her eyes roll as she leans her head back on the wall, her back arching with a loud moan, one hand gripping onto his shoulder, the other tangling and grasping at his hair. Soap moves just a little faster, as fast as he can, his thrusts faltering slightly as he chases her high.
Soap's eyes don't leave her face for a moment, taking in every contorted detail and high pitched moan, committing the experience to memory. Ryōshi's eyes prick with small tears, her overstimulation making her legs shake and her hole quiver around him with every movement against her every sweet spot.
Her climax hits hard, her walls tightening down around him once last time, her grip tightening on his hair and shoulder. Her grip leaves scratch marks in his skin, breaking the skin in some places, while her other hand tugs on his hair for some semblance of grounding.
"F-fu~ck lass!~" Soap groans, releasing one last load inside her, leaning his head down to rest his forehead against hers, his thrusts slowing to a gentle pace, pumping the last of his load into her. Their breath mixes in the air between them, panting and soft moans spilling from them both as they come down from their highs.
After a few moments, Soap pulls out and gently puts her back on the ground, holding her steady as her legs wobble. She giggles and looks up at him. "I wasn't expecting such... Ferocity, from you Soap." She teases as she starts to fix her clothes.
Soap chuckles, his face heating once more, fixing his own clothes as he replies. "I did ask if you wanted Nice or Hard." He points out with a smirk. She giggles again, smirking back at him.
"maybe next time I'll ask for the nice~" she purrs, moving to the door and seeing if she can undo the lock. Soap watches her, studying her movements and watching as she forces the lock past it's tension point and popping it open.
The sound of the door clicking open also clicked together something in his mind. "Wait... Next time?" He asks in puzzled excitement before promptly following her.
He can't help the sense of pride as he watches her walk, her legs wobbling with a slight stumble as he follows her to wherever she's going.
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theoperativeif · 5 months
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Roads and Mother (Roads POV)
Road often thought of the hallways as reminiscent of the brothels from her youth. Long corridors with dirty red carpeting and walls adorned with gold and brown designs, large portraits, and artwork. Such a facade was designed to make its patrons believe they still belonged to something high and mighty, to divert their attention from the suppressed cries and choked sobs of those who could never leave.
Road had once been one of those voices.
And yet, here she found herself in someone else's hell, someone important to her. The lab's bleach-white hallways were a stark contrast to the bloody rooms she passed. The deep scratches in the metal and the seemingly mindless movements of the staff were alarming. Their eyes dared not meet hers as she passed. Road had been summoned by the lab's overseer, a woman the Operatives referred to as Mother.
Road snickered ruefully, reminded of the older women at the brothels. They would manipulate young boys and girls, claiming to care deeply, yet forcing them into horrifying conditions. Road swallowed, her throat dry as she flexed her hand. She wouldn't allow the one person important to her to be treated like cattle. Reaching down, Road retrieved a cigarette. Smoking was frowned upon inside a military facility, but Road figured they had more pressing concerns than her indulging in a habit.
She stopped at a room, marked with a long list of numbers next to it, before pressing the call button and waiting.
A few moments later, the door opened. Poking her head through, Road raised an eyebrow. The room was fairly small, with a single bed in the corner, a nightstand, and a toilet on the opposing wall. It resembled a prison cell rather than the once room of a child. Though, she thought darkly, it did look familiar.
"Simple and effective," a cold voice spoke from behind her. Spinning around, she caught sight of the woman, her eyes staring vacantly behind large glasses. The woman smiled at Road, gesturing around. "How are you enjoying your tour of the facility?"
"It's shit," Road commented, blowing smoke towards the woman. "You would think with all the funds you receive, you could build a better facility."
The woman's smile remained unflinching as she lightly waved away the smoke wafting over her face. "You do know that isn't good for you."
"Well, aren't you the true dispenser of wisdom, grandma," Road sneered, flicking the cigarette towards the woman. It bounced in a small bloom of ash and embers against her coat before falling to the floor. "Why don't you cut the crap and get straight to why I'm standing here."
"002," the woman replied, her smile twitching on her face, sending a cold shiver down Road's back. "You are fairly close to them, I hear."
"Well, grandma needs some new hearing aids too because you heard wrong," Road snapped, moving to step past her. "I am close to nobody."
"So it's just a coincidence that you are here, you who would have so much to gain by staying on Earth," she replied, holding out a hand to stop Road.
Road looked at it, wondering if 002 would mind if their mother returned with some broken bones. Sighing, she batted the hand aside and stepped past the woman, exiting the room. This was a waste of her time.
The woman continued from behind her. "You know, the work I put in to make sure my children can see clearly is very important to me. I want to ensure your intentions are pure."
Pure. Road gritted her teeth, rounding on the woman.
"Intentions? You, of all people, shouldn't preach to me about intentions. Look at this place. Your intentions are the ones that should be questioned. I've seen the scars. I recognize those kinds of scars. They aren't from a battlefield," Road snarled, pointing a finger in the woman's face.
The woman's placid smile returned as she reached up, gently caressing a small stone hanging from a necklace around her neck. "Discipline is vital in all my children, and even more so for soldiers."
"They were children," Road said, feeling a small stab of pain in her chest.
"They were dead," the woman snapped, her friendly facade melting away to reveal something more sinister. "I saved them all. Even the ones that failed, I gave their life a purpose. To serve mankind rather then be..."
She trailed off as Roads watched the woman reconstruct her mask of indifference.
"And if 002 failed?" Road said, her hand dropping to her belt. "Or if they fail now, are you just going to discard them like the heartless witch I know you are?"
There was a flash of emotion on the woman's face that Road caught for a fleeting moment before it was masked. It was a brief look of concern, then one of anger. She watched as the woman squeezed the stone for a moment before she relaxed, allowing her hands to drop.
"They won't fail me," she said, a look of confidence on her face as she stepped closer. "But I will be interested in seeing if they fail you."
Without another word, the woman turned, leaving Road standing alone in the hallway.
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actual-changeling · 11 months
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Despite the annoyances and horrors of FEDRA military school, there is one thing Ellie appreciated about it: routine. Her days sucked, but they sucked in predictable ways, and she knew exactly where she was supposed to be and what she was supposed to be doing at any given time of day.
Maybe that's why their mornings tend to look the same once they settle in Jackson, a softer, more pleasant imitation of the structure she was used to.
Every single morning, they either go downstairs together or Ellie finds him in the kitchen with his back to the door, watching as his coffee steams and gurgles into the can, and although she never actively quiets herself, she somehow manages to sneak up on him anyway. Joel expects that, too, by now, and his only reaction when she wraps her arms around him from behind is a still sleep-drenched smile she cannot see but feels as it spreads through him like the first rays of sunshine warming her skin.
He covers her hands with his, rubbing tiny circles wherever he can reach, and she rests her cheek on his back so she can close her eyes and try to drift in the slow morning haze for just a little while longer. Although Ellie would never openly admit it, the mildly bitter smell of hot coffee is almost as comforting as the sound of Joel's heartbeat beneath her ear; both tell her the same thing and calm any worries she carried out of her nightmares.
"Morning, baby," Joel mumbles once he reaches for a cup, and usually all she gives in response is a quiet grumble that's neither here nor there.
She stays pressed against him when he moves around and prepares his breakfast, occasionally humming yes or no when he asks her about what she wants, and her awareness rises with the morning sun. Only when they're ready to sit down does Joel turn around in her grasp, threading his fingers through her hair and pulling her closer with the other resting between her shoulder blades, and the content sigh she lets out every single time makes him chuckle.
"Morning again."
"Morning," she murmurs back, smiling into his shirt when he presses his customary kiss to the crown of her head. They remain in their embrace for however long they feel like it that day, drawing it out when the preceding night has left them distraught and seeking out comfort wherever they can find it, and Joel never leans back before she does.
Ellie tips her chin up and looks at him, her lashes fluttering when he brushes his fingers over her cheekbones to tuck back a few strands of hair. The sun breaks through the kitchen window and gifts them a perfect frozen moment of melting brown eyes and fond smiles, and even after dozens of deliberately slow mornings like this, she still sees the same wonder staring back at her.
What did I do to deserve someone loving me like you do?
They never say it, they don't have to, but it floats in the silence between them, glowing and sparkling even on days where the house is cold and dark, because they both know they will always find warmth in each other.
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