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chillorious · 3 years

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✨My abusive Mother✨

The title of this entry says it all;

I have an abusive mother. And I suppose it’s rather strange to say out loud because for so many years I managed to convince myself that she was anything but. When you have a mother, you’re told a lot of things growing up, you’re told that your mother is someone who is supposed to look out for you, someone strong and dependable in your life whenever you and your family need a stern but loving guidance. Someone sturdy you want to lean on when times are tough. They are the shelter in a house, a protector. The one who has earned your respect for raising you up to be more than you thought you could be. Or in simpler terms, a mother is supposed to present a good example.

My mother was hardly a mother to me. I call her mother because that’s the only label I’ve ever given her and I respect her because I was raised to respect everyone, but making a mistake my mother often presented a poor example for her husband and child, whether she intended to or not. I can’t pinpoint when the abuse really started but I know it’s been going on for what may as well be a lifetime. She often laid her hands on me, but my mother also was and still is the type to verbally cut you down to nothing. She had a tongue like a knife. Well I know she’s been through a lot in her life and I know those experiences manifested into something foul, it hangs off my mothers back, whispering little things here and there, poisoning her mind, spirit and speech. She’s a woman that hurts, and has been hurt by people she was supposed to trust and depend on. “I have to understand that” or at least that’s what I always told myself. When family hurts you, you’d naturally feel inclined to defend their actions, you try to convince your friends that they aren’t so bad you even try to convince yourself as a means of rejecting the pain, but abuse is abuse, no matter what color you choose to paint over it. And for a while, my mother was a pitch black silhouette, a figure that I tried to touch but instead all I got to see was a cast shadow of the person she could have been but decided she wouldn’t be. Hardly the mother figure, but often the abuser. But no amount of experience can justify abusing your daughter.

Now I know I’ve been beating around the bush and holding off on explaining everything she did, but it’s hard. And that’s another thought I’m sure a lot of you in and outside my shoes have had. It’s hard to come out and talk about what’s been done to you. It’s hard to admit the truth. But that’s why I decided that I wouldn’t keep quiet anymore. No more fear or worry or talking myself out of all the strife in my mind as if that will make it vanish. I will be for you, what my mother wasn’t for me. Honest, transparent, and a good example. When I was a kid, my mother tyrannized me. Yes, the woman I was raised by had been violating and torturing me. And yes that’s something I blocked out for a long time and suspected but recently often got confirmed with. She didn’t look at me as though I were a child, she made me responsible for everything that happened and I were her punching bag whenever she needed one. She also made me responsible to take care for her broken heart. I remember those faces she made towards me, certain gestures and words that encouraged her desire of killing me. She had hands like barbed wire, everything she touched on me bled. She’d linger near my person and kept me close in a way that sincerely gave me nightmares both as a kid and as an adult, the kind that nearly made me lose sleep. I won’t give any nasty and horrifying details, they wouldn’t benefit any of us anyway but I need you to recognize that a child shouldn’t know that kind of fear and confusion, ever. It just isn’t okay.

In the years that followed my mother tried to force me into a mold. From the beginning, she wanted me to do everything she said, to be dressed in a specific way, surround myself with certain company but above all, she wanted my absolute obedience. And for a while, you could say she had it, but time changes us all and I guess it started when I recorded her torturing me so I had proof it happened, because that’s what gaslighting is. She made sure that I would never believe myself and my gut feeling. She managed to make me believe that she never hurt me which only confused me more. Eventually my mannerisms, clothes and interest took a path apart from what she laid out for me. Which is why she started to demean me at every turn. My mother would talk down to me and if she wasn’t shaming my decisions, she was shaming my very person. She talked behind my back but most times when I was around and was able to hear every word. And she knew it, so the words always found their way back to me in the end. In my mothers eyes I was an irresponsible, lazy disappointment, I was a liar that was always sneaking off to do bad things with awful people. I can’t say I was a saint I’m not perfect but not all my actions were worthy of that inconsiderate reaction to my youth. Nothing I ever did was good enough for her, things I’ve said or done would always become something of a burden on her, always something that I should have second-guessed and felt bad for and I guess, when I look at it that way it’s no wonder I started hating myself. When your own mother makes you feel like you can’t do anything right, when she makes it clear that she doesn’t trust you, you feel broken. I felt like I was falling apart because the woman that should have raised me was breaking me down. My actions didn’t matter, she never really questioned or talked through why I did things, she just judged everything I did for years. Until she trapped me in my own self doubt. And if she wasn’t insulting me, she was insulting my hobbies, if not them, my passions. She put me through hell, she made me feel trapped in that hideous inferno with her, she made me feel powerless and worthless. She made me feel, like I was nothing. Finally, she wore me down, she made me feel tiny small, she made me into an object that she pushed her sick desires and expectations onto, she made me feel unsafe, she made me feel anxious, she made me angry with how she treated me and started to ruin me. She made me fear life so much that I sought comfort and gratification in others to a point, where I clung to them to an unhealthy degree because who else would I turn to. I made food into a toxic addiction, like it was a drug and a safe haven that I didn’t want to let reality into. I took that like pills, constantly just to feel alive and when it wasn’t enough I turned elsewhere. I turned to people that didn’t care for my heart, I turned to distractions that couldn’t heal, I tried to fill my mind with meaningless nonsense just to stop the destructive voices in my head. They literally left me restless, they wouldn’t keep quiet, they wouldn’t shut up day and night, and eventually I thought those dark dark thoughts...

“I can shut them up forever” “I don’t wanna do this anymore” “make it stop”

And I almost took my life, it took me 19 years to get to the point where I felt so miserable that I didn’t want to be alive anymore. That hurt me in ways words can’t describe. However it only took a few days for me to remember it doesn’t have to be this way. If you struggle with suicidal thoughts, there is another way out, you may see that exit sign floating around the pills or the knife but don’t look at it. Don’t approach it because exiting life is not the solution to it. You may not understand it now but our time spent suffering is not even worthy of being compared to the reward and opportunity and joy that overcoming the pain can bring. I know life is hard, trust me. In the process of trying to get the help I needed I had to make a lot of sacrifices so that I could learn to grow and find strength and it was so so hard and the journey is gonna feel hard sometimes and I know you may not like the idea of life getting any harder but I promise you there are so many great things you can have and achieve when you choose to battle your anxiety and depression rather than taking it as it comes. when you choose to fight your personal demons instead of letting them in, anger, rage, sadness, loneliness they will all come, but they will also go again. None of those feelings about yourself belong in you and absolutely none of that defines you. You are more.

Look at yourself. I mean it, look at you. Look at your face, at your hands, wiggle your fingers. Look at them. You see you’re here, you’re still alive. You may be telling yourself “I’m weak, I can’t do it, I can’t keep fighting” but you are here because you’re strong and despite everything you’re going through. You’re still making the decision to get out of bed, to breathe and do something. You think that just happens, you think it’s easy, no!

That is power. That is a body in motion. A body and a spirit that are still alive and aren’t ready to go yet. That aren’t ready to give up. So don’t. Of course everyone’s situation is different and it’s easy for one person online to say life is worth living and things get better when I don’t know what you’re going through but that’s why you need to tell someone. You aren’t weak for seeking guidance and help. You aren’t weak for admitting you have a problem. Tell someone what’s wrong and pray they lift you up because you’ve been staying down for far too long and you don’t deserve it. Don’t spend so much time measuring your worth it keeping quiet because of “how important are my issues” or “ what good can someone like me even do, what can I offer and achieve when I’m like this.” Because you know what? I am someone like you too and I know I have a lot to offer even when I used to say I didn’t after all. I’m telling you my story and surely it’s gonna touch someone the right way. This words will reach someone’s heart and it will be enough to spark a positive change in at least one person, be it in a victim or a person who knows someone going through pain. Think about what you can offer. Believe me it’s not the end, it’s truly only the beginning, you still have the chance. You can still fight, you can still change and heal. Just take the first step.

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atamascolily · 4 years

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An Appointment in Sawarra, 9/?

In which Luke is sorely vexed.

(previously: one two three four five, six seven eight)

The official reason they wouldn't let him fly the X-wing through the Ring--their name for the neutron star cluster--was safety, though Luke suspected security and paranoia were equal concerns. His brain turned to mush from the interminable paperwork, Luke met this turn of unexpected turn of events with as much grace as he could muster.

It wasn't as if he had much in the way of luggage--just the simple rucksack he'd packed with a few changes of clothes, back when he'd thought this would be a simple trip out and back again. He should have known it wasn't going to work out that way.

"I have a feeling you may be gone longer than you think, Mara had said back on Coruscant. Her hunch had been spot-on. Luke was starting to get the same feeling--though like her, he wasn't sure whether it was good or bad yet.

If Karrde's contact could help him with the uneti seeds, all of this would be worth it. If not--well, he'd been on wild bantha chases on much less cause. And perhaps he could use the time in transit to learn more about his mysterious hosts.

The journey through the Ring was uneventful to the point of boring. In theory, Luke was allowed the run of the transport. In practice, they treated him as a bizarre cross between an honored guest and a poltical prisoner, and he didn't understand why.

Luke's attempts to coax out information out of the rank and file proved fruitless. The crew pretended that he wasn't there, with no eye contact or acknowledgement of his presence unless he spoke to them directly. Even then, they were curt almost to the point of rudeness, reverting to cursory nods or gestures whenever possible. Despite the translator box looped prominently around Luke's wrist, they refused to speak anything but simple Basic in his presence, making conversation about anything more complex than the direction to the 'fresher impossible.

Eventually, he gave up and retreated to his assigned quarters for the remainder of the journey. The room was simple and spartan, the only spots of color a holographic image of a flower arrangement and calligraphy scroll on the shelf over the bed. Luke didn't recognize any of the flowers, and the translator was voice-only, leaving him effectively illiterate--an oversight, he realized now. He sat cross-legged on the bed and tried to meditate, but he couldn't let go of the thoughts swirling around his head.

Why had the authorities let him enter Sawarran space if they clearly didn't want him? Either they weren't as xenohobic as Leia and Winter had claimed, or they had mellowed considerably since throwing off the Empire and declaring their independence. Neither of those explanations fit the evidence. Why, then, had they made an exception for him? Because he was a Jedi?

Luke had grown used to people treating him differently once they learned he was a Jedi--sometimes with awe and reverence, sometimes with gestures to ward off the evil eye. The customs agents been intrigued, but not impressed, by Luke's lightsaber and his claimed occupation. It was his connection to Yoda, of all people--a direct, tangible connection, as teacher and student--that had captured their attention.

What was Yoda to these people? And, more importantly, why?

Their arrival in Ri'tarn City a few hours after local dawn was routine to the point of anticlimax. Luke didn't know what he'd expected--a parade? a riot? another horde of bureaucrats?--but there was nothing and no one waiting for him at the docking bay. He was escorted politely but firmly off the ship by the crew and abandoned outside in the bustling street.

"Hey!" Luke shouted at their rapidly retreating figures. "What am I supposed to do now?"

The leader turned back long enough to shrug and gestured off to the side. "Temple that way," he said in Basic, and hastened off after the rest of his squad.

Luke stared, blinking in the morning sunlight, as the crowd bustled around him on the cobbled street past elegant wooden townhouses with open-air shops on the lower levels. They'd let him come here, to a place where foreigners were never supposed to come... and now they were letting him wander around unsupervised?

Then again, he thought, taking in the dark skin and voluminous, colorful robes in the press of people around him, maybe the authorities didn't need to hold his hand to track his movements. Between his pallor and his tightly cut clothing, he stood out like a Wookiee at a Jawa family reunion.

He was relieved and confused to be left to his own devices so abruptly---and, he had to admit, more than a little insulted. He'd been prepared for anything--except, apparently, total indifference. No one in the bustling street was paying the slightest bit of attention to him, the crowd parting around him like a crowd of Coruscanti swoop-bike racers around a cloudcutter.

That, too, was unnerving.

He was alone on a strange planet outside the New Republic's jurisdiction--and, thanks to the pulsars of the Ring, no means to contact anyone on the outside should things go sideways, except through the Force.

Thankfully, that still worked. He could probably reach Leia in a pinch if he violated some taboo by mistake, though she wouldn't thank him if he ended up triggering an intergalactic incident.

Why am I here? What do THEY think I'm supposed to do?

Pay your respects, the head customs agent had said.

"My respects to what?" Luke said aloud. "Yoda is dead. How does this even make sense?"

The crew's mention of a temple intrigued him. Perhaps there were answers waiting for him there. But that wasn't why he was here. He needed to find Dr. Mendoza at the university and ask her about the seeds. Maybe she could help with the other mysteries, too.

But he had to find her first.

***

Luke had assumed it would be easy enough to locate the university with the address Karrde had given him, but it quickly became clear that Ri'tarn City, like everything else in this system, was determined to make even simple tasks an ordeal. Whatever rhyme, reason or logic underlay the streets was nothing like standard grid/level system for ships, stations, and Coruscanti high-rises. Signs were few and far between, not that he could read them anyway.

Meanwhile, the inhabitants seemed intent on thwarting his efforts through sheer indifference. As with the transport crew, none of them would acknowledge his presence unless Luke forced them to. Even then, they refused to meet his eyes or say much beyond the simplest gestures when he asked for directions. Even the wooden seal representing his visa didn't impress them.

The only exception to the general impassivity were the children, who stared openly as he passed, pointing in his direction and giggling among themselves, only to flee if Luke approached them. The contrast between the stoic adults and their offspring made the former's stoic unconcern even eerier.

The sun inched its way across the sky overhead, bright and hot as he wended his way through the streets, increasingly lost and confused. He was thirsty, but there was no sign of water anywhere, and none of the shops he passed would serve him.

A high, piercing alien cry came from overhead. Luke looked up to see feathery lizards gliding overhead, a welcome breeze breaking the heat with a distinctive salt tang. Was it his imagination, or were those ocean waves in the distance?

Out of ideas, he wended his way in the direction of the flying lizards, hoping it would somehow get him to the university. The docks didn't seem like the typical site for an institution of higher learning, but maybe the Sawarrans did things differently here. Either that, or the entire population was in on some big joke they weren't going to share with Luke.

He came around the corner to find himself on the edge of a stark, man-made seawall a dozen meters above the bay--or would be a bay if there were any water in it. A bare tidal flat stretched to the horizon in an endless expanse of sand, a mockery to his hopes. There was no sign of anything even remotely approaching a university, only crabs skulking in and out of their burrows as they dodged the attentions of flocks of hungry lizards wheeling and diving from above.

"Maybe I should have gone to the temple after all," Luke said, to no one in particular, slumping against the wall.

He was tired and thirsty, light-years from home on a strange planet where no one would meet his eyes, let alone talk to him. He'd been here for hours there was no sign of Karrde's contact, and now he was faced with yet another dead end. How did I get into this mess? he wondered, not for the first time.

He hadn't been this off-balance since--since his first trip to Dagobah, actually. Maybe that's why they like Yoda so much, Luke thought sourly. Or maybe they're testing me, the way Yoda tested me at first?

I failed that test back then. I won't fail this one, too.

He had to be missing something, something obvious.

He leaned against the sea wall, and stared out into the distance, struggling to calm his racing thoughts. Think. Think. Think. There's got to be some sort of key. What am I missing here?

Something shimmered on the edge of the horizon.

Wait.

It wasn't his imagination. There was a tower rising out of the tidal flat, with what looked to be a small city at its base, far enough away that he hadn't noticed it on first glance.

There were no signs at this distance, of course, but Luke knew what he was looking at. It was the university. Had to be. What else? could it be?

He squinted. There was no bridge or road leading to the tower from the mainland. The buildings rose out of the sand, shimmering like a desert mirage in the afternoon heat, completely disconnected from the mainland.

"You have got to be kidding me," Luke said in dismay.

It made a weird kind of sense, though. Who needed roads when you had speeders? Or, when the tide was in, boats.

Luke scanned his surroundings. He was alone on the sea wall, the wind whipping through his hair, lacking both a speeder and a boat. The only way he was going to get out to that hazy tower on the horizon was under his own power.

This was stupid and crazy and pointless, and he ought to just give up and go home, but it was too late for that. He'd come this far.

But he'd done plenty of stupid things over the course of his life, both before and after joining the Rebellion. And at least this time, nobody was shooting at him.

"All right, then," Luke sighed. "I guess I'm doing this."

He stripped off his boots and socks, and stuffed them into his rucksack, wishing he'd brought a hat to protect himself from the broiling sun. Then he jumped down onto the tidal flat, landed with a roll, and set off barefoot across the sandy expanse towards the tower.

#an appointment in sawarra #fanfic excerpt

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imaginedanganronpa · 5 years

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Can you please do some headcanons on how the DR2 cast would land themselves in detention? It’s for comedy.

This one took a long time, I hope you enjoy! It was super fun to write.

How The SDR2 Cast Would Get Detention!

Hajime Hinata

He is a good student who rarely gets in trouble. When hedoes, it’s for pretty minor things. With that said, he also rarely loses his temper.

Hajime was good friends with Chiaki but their relationship started to causequestions to arise within the other Reserve Course students.

Rumors were spreading that he was using her to sneak into the Ultimate program.This really got under Hajime’s skin but what could he do to stop it? Pretty soon, everyone was giving him the cold shoulder.

He overheard two of the other Reserve students snickering as he walked by andhe just lost it.

“What?” The other two boys, whom he has never seen before, stare at Hajime withsmug grins. “Take that back, now.”

His eyes were flashing with red. Hajime doesn’t get angry easily but he’lldefend his friends if he needs to, putting their interest above his own.

“Admit it, you’re using that girl… what’s her name, Chiaki?”

In a fit of blind rage, Hajime slips his shirt off and storms up to the otherstudents, shirtless and getting in their face. “I said take it back!”

You’d think that the half-nudity would be enough. When the teachers finallycame to their aide, breaking up a potential fight before it could happen, theyslapped a detention slip into Hajime’s hands.

Staring down at the small paper slip, it read that he was getting detention for a Dress Code Violation.

He assumed that it was because he took off his shirt and tried punching thesmug little kids, but… no, not entirely. Once he stomped down to the detentionroom, the proctor welcomed him and examined the slip.

He’s a pretty calm, collected kid with a good head on his shoulders so his reaction to the rumors caused him to feel embarrassed. Plus, some of the adults got on him for interacting with the Ultimate students already.

“Oh, so you’re the kid who was exposing his shoulders, huh?”

Hajime, puzzled, looks at the man. “My… shoulders?”

Chiaki Nanami

Sleeping in class is a given, but she just can’t help it.It’s something she’s gotten in trouble for in the past but has since slippedby. The adults started to accept it since she’s a good student, regardless of sleeping so much.

Ever since she became Class Representative, though, the teachers haven’t beenso lenient towards Chiaki.

She is the Ultimate Gamer so bringing her video games to class is not out of the ordinary andsomething that most people don’t mind, at least not until it becomes adistraction.

The rest of her class were slowly beginning to huddle around her as she played,her fingers dancing along the controller and her eyes were glued to the screen.Chiaki completely zoned out everything Chisa was saying.

More than once, she tried getting the Gamer’s attention and eventually shesnapped. “Everyone, get away from Chiaki right now! Pay attention.”

But not even that could bring her back to reality. The faint sounds of her gamein the background still playing, she stormed up to the small girl.

Chisa, as politely as possible, grabbed the system out of her hands and placedit behind her back. It caused her to lose the Level and, being newly sleep-deprivedand overly-invested in the game, Chiaki let her tongue slip.

“What the fuck… come at me bro.”

Her expression was still blank but the comment wasn’t very highly appreciated,seen more as a threat.

Chisa sent her directly to detention and the rest of her class watched, astonished, as their Representative became one of the ‘bad kids’ even for just a day.

What can she say? She really loves her games.

Nagito Komaeda

Knowing Nagito, he’d do something that ends up goinghorribly wrong.

He just wanted to plan out a surprise for his class, baking them sweet treatswith the help of Teruteru. Nagito had good intentions but his luck isn’t veryreliable.

He also decided to slip into Seiko’s lab and ask her for some vitamins to makethem taste better, not really believing in his baking skills. He left Teruteru alone with the sweets, giving him an ampleopportunity to slip some unwanted Aphrodisiacs into the food.

Nagito also grabbed the wrong bottle without looking, accidentally swiping someLaxatives instead.

But he was so proud of what he’d made, he had to share it with everyone! Hemade sure to stop by the Teacher’s Lounge and the Headmaster’s Office as wellsince he had more leftovers than expected.

And he didn’t want to eat his own baked goods since that’s just not respectful;it wasn’t meant for him but for his friends instead. So, Nagito didn’t get a chance to taste-test the food beforehand.

Well, those good intentions went out the window. Teruteru didn’t know about the Laxatives, and Nagito didn’t know about the Aphrodisiacs, which is a killercombination.

It was bad enough that his entire class and Chisa had consumed the foodcontaining the two, but to make matters worse, so did the higher-up staffmembers, including Headmaster Jin. For the entire day, those who ate it were in and out of the bathroomand stumbling all over one another in the process, heated and intimate… to put it lightly. Nagitodidn’t really understand, was it that good?

He’d only realized he took the wrong bottle when it was too late, and Teruteruconfessed to slipping in the extra drug while in his… hot state. But Nagito gotblamed for it all and ultimately sentenced to detention.

“Damn, just my luck!”

Ibuki Mioda

She’s definitely a firecracker but Ibuki doesn’t have evilintentions, so she’d do something without really intending to.

Ibuki would be in the Music Room, practicing and writing songs as she always did. Shehas the tendency to skip classes to have her own personal concert instead.

Her signature flame guitar would have some part in it.

It didn’t take the staff very long to find her holed up in the MusicRoom, the loud heavy metal blaring from inside was a dead giveaway.

Knocking on the door,they call for her name with no response, it was too loud and the musician couldn’t hear them.

The door swings open to find Ibuki completely lost in the music. So much so,that when she finally notices the cluster of adults standing in the doorway sheturns quickly to give them a good view of the show.

Unfortunately, she completely forgot about the flames shooting out from herguitar which lit the front of the room on fire, knocking over some rather expensive equipment in the process.

The entire school had to be evacuated immediately, students and teachers alikerushing through the doors for their lives. The Fire Department also had to becalled, which lead Ibuki to explain how she started the fire that nearly burneddown the entirety of Hope’s Peak Academy.

She can’t help herself from giggling and got sent to detention for a ‘Terroristic Act Against the School.’

Hey, she thought that sounded pretty cool! Maybe she’ll name a song after that.

Gundham Tanaka

Being the Ultimate Animal Breeder, everyone is well-aware ofhis love for and ownership of all kinds of species. Hope’s Peak does allow Service Animals and gives specialprivileges to those with animal-related talents.

Which is why he’s able to bring his hamsters, or Four Dark Devas of Destruction, with him eachday.

Here and there, he’ll bring another one of his various pets as well. He’sbrought a couple cats on some days, and during others he’s brought one of his smalldogs. Gundham has walked into class with a bird perched on his shoulder before,too. You never know what he’ll bring to class.

But there’s still a line that even he can’t cross.

And everyone knows that Gundham has pets that he probably shouldn’t, but that’s whyhe’s an Ultimate after all!

His hamsters are never a disturbance and everyone has come to know and lovethem. Cats, dogs, and birds aren’t too much of a hassle as long as he keeps upwith them.

It’s not until he tries sneaking bigger animals in that there’s an issue.

The first strike was his ball-python which isn’t venomous, but some of theother students with less experience around snakes were still a little bitfrightened. It stayed curled around his neck all day, hidden in his scarf.

He jumped straight to strike three when he walked up to the front door with a full-grown Tiger on a leash. Juzo stopped him immediately and forbade him fromentering the building.

“What do you mortals know about the beauty of this feline?! She will pouncebefore you even know what is happening! Do not mess with me!”

Though he claims that she was domesticated, his… threats weren’t appreciated.So he and his Tiger spent the day in detention.

Mikan Tsumiki

The poor thing doesn’t try to end up in the compromisingpositions… it just kind of, happens. She can’t help that she’s clumsy!

By now, everyone in her class is pretty used to it. The same doesn’t go for theother Ultimates in different classes or the Reserves, though.

She’d be late to class one day; Mikan is already an emotional wreck. She’scrying and rushing through the hallway because she was already going to beembarrassed enough having to walk into class after it started.

Mikan is pushing past the others in the hall politely, apologizing the entiretime when she just… trips. Her foot catches on the opposite ankle and she goescollapsing, falling forward.

She’d fall on top of a few innocent students with her legs slightly spread,back arched a bit, skirt accidentally flipping up, and wrists falling above herhead. The student that she fell on was a complete stranger, someone she’dnever seen before nevertheless had a conversation with.

“Oh God, I’m sorry! I’m so very sorry!”

Both of their faces are bright red now and she erupts into a fit of tears.

Though she didn’t intend on falling or ending up in this predicament, theteacher that had been standing just outside of her classroom while the studentsfiled in witnessed it happen and immediately was at a loss for words.

“You, miss!” She exclaims while storming towards Mikan. “Explain yourself!”

“I-It’s not what it looks like~!” Mikan pleas but the teacher is having none ofit. She got sent straight to detention for sexual advances on another student,PDA, and indecent public exposure.

She’d walk into detention in a fit of tears because she didn’t mean to!

Kazuichi Souda

He may be a Mechanic but Kazuichi is quite skilled in manyaspects of technology as a whole. He doesn’t just have to work on cars,airplanes, and so on but he is also handy with your everyday laptop as well.

Kazuichi’s sense of humor is fairly peculiar.

He’ll do things for his own amusement even if no one asks him to and if youever dare him to do something, he’ll complete it without a doubt.

One day, he got the bright idea to pull a little prank on Chisa. He knew thattheir class was going to watch a film about the history of Hope’s Peak Academy thatafternoon and decided to have a little fun with it.

Kazuichi got to class earlier than the rest of his peers, whilst Chisa wasrunning errands for Munakata, and rewired her laptop.

His mind was racing with ideas when he finally settled on the perfect video toreplace the film with.

He was able to set it up so that he could control the video with a remotecontrol at his own disposal. Unfortunately, Chisa was in a rather hostile moodthat day and wasn’t feeling like dealing with Kazuichi’s shenanigans.

In the middle of the film, he switched the button and it started playing noneother than the classic Rick Roll, ‘Never Gonna Give You Up.’

His classmates were dead silent for a moment, all wide-eyed and trying toprocess what they were looking at – of course he had to Rick Roll his wholeclass.

Kazuichi couldn’t hold back his amusement, his smile twisting widely andbursting into a fit of loud laughter. Chisa immediately knew that this had tobe his doing.

He got sent to detention for the rest of the day, but if you ask him – it wascompletely worth it.

Peko Pekoyama

Meditating was her go-to form of de-stressing. It’s where shecould be found during most of the day.

As the Ultimate Swordswoman, her sword was never too far from her side. Pekohad locked herself in the quiet room for hours so she could melt away fromreality for a while.

Her peace was disrupted once the doors swung open and her eyes darted over hershoulder.

Peko’s intensely quick reflexes were nearly the death of Hope’s Peak’scustodian, as she launched her sword over her shoulder blindly, not bothering to look and see whowas there, and snipping the ends of the custodian’s hair in the process.

The blade was stuck in the wall, mere inches from their face as their eyeswidened. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here!”

Despite being known as the Ultimate Swordswoman, even Peko can’t go aroundtossing swords at people’s faces with no repercussions.

She was sent to the Office immediately where she showed absolutely no remorse.

“They shouldn’t have sneaked up on a meditating trained killer – that’s how youend up with a sword in your neck.”

The adults in the room tried to explain to her why that isn’t socially acceptable,in which Peko calmly responded with, “Do you want to find out why I’m anUltimate?”

Done with her shit, they sent her to detention and she put up a bit of a fight. Peko didn’t understand what the big deal was. She wasn’t trying to violently threaten the staff, that’s just the way they took it!

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

He’s got a big mouth which is something no one candeny, not even Fuyuhiko himself.

It just comes with the attitude and pressure that the Yakuza has on his plate, and a bit ofa superiority complex as well.

He didn’t fully respect a lot of the adults he was surrounded by which lead toa lot of conflict. Typically speaking, though, the adults understand due to hisbackground and don’t tend to mess with him since he is a Kuzuryuu after all.

They just treated him like a little kid, and he’s not a fuckin’ little kid!

They had a substitute teacher one day who wasn’t completely aware of their talents andbegan to push Fuyuhiko’s buttons. Had she known he was a Yakuza, she wouldn’t have dared touch him with a ten-foot pole.

There were several ways that the situation could’ve been avoided.

But he snapped and stood on his desk, veins protruding from his neck and forehead. “Do you knowwho the fuck I am? I could have your head on my desk by the end of the day!”

Fuyuhiko has a fairly colorful way of speaking as well and he didn’t stopthere. Once the substitute demanded that he got down from the desk, he took itone step further.

“Leave me alone, lady! Or I’ll rip out your small intestine through your mouth,your large intestine out through your ass, and use them as a fuckingjump-rope!”

She stared at the Yakuza in complete shock. Once he finally calmed down andrealized what was said, he broke a sweat and shrugged.

He didn’t care if he got sent to detention, she shouldn’t have been bugging him!

Sonia Nevermind

She’s pretty new to Hope’s Peak and their school system, it’scompletely different than the one in her home country.

With that said, Sonia had never gotten detention before in her life. Even aftertransferring, she was convinced that she couldn’t possibly get detention. The thought never crossed her mind.

Failing to realize that her status as a Princess doesn’t carry as much weighthere, she feels untouchable. Despite that, she’s a fairly well-behaved studentanyway.

Sonia can be a bit bossy, though. When Chisa had to step out to take care ofpersonal matters, she assumed that her leadership-abilities could come in handyand took the responsibility of ‘teaching the class’ which was more likecommanding them to doing as she pleased.

Most of them somewhat listened, although Hiyoko, Peko, and Fuyuhiko weren’tgoing to let her boss them around; meanwhile, Kazuichi happily obliged.

Chisa came back into the classroom to find Sonia lounging out in her chair withboth Kazuichi and Gundham tending to massaging her legs and ankles,competitively as they were each trying to impress the Princess. She had otherstudents bringing her tea and had self-proclaimed herself as the new leader oftheir class.

That’s not something she can just get away with so she had to be put in herplace, sent to detention at the end of the day. Sonia wasn’t going to gowillingly, though.

A bit air-headed, she blinks at Chisa, perplexed. “Youcan’t send me to detention, I am a Princess!” That really didn’t help her caseat all.

Nekomaru Nidai

He takes his talent a bit too seriously, even turningtowards his own friends to try to get them in the best shape possible.

Nekomaru has good motives behind this but he doesn’t necessarily know when tostop.

Jin and the other staff members were taking a relaxing stroll around campuswhen they stumble across the Team Manager huddled over a group of scrawnyReserve Course boys.

“You have to pick it up!” Lightning was emerging from his eyes as he screams atthe boys, coming across as more bossy and threatening than motivating. “You’llnever get to be as strong as I am like that! Come on!”

The adults approach him and put an end to his… motivating ‘group exercise.’ Heinsisted that the boys came to him for help, knowing he was the Ultimate Team Manager.

But the three small boys were now collapsed, passed out from exhaustion on thegrass. They can’t really have their students destroying one another.

Nekomaru may have wanted to help but pushed them entirely too far. As he wastrying to explain himself, his ‘urges’ suddenly came over him and he succumbedto the pressure.

He tells them he had to go, but Jin forces the Ultimate to stay right there.This caused Nekomaru to snap at the older man.

“Move or else! I have to shit!” He basically shoves him out of the way as hesprints for the nearest bathroom. Needless to say, the adults didn’t appreciatehim shoving his own Headmaster to the ground like that, almost injuring the man.

The two situations combined landed Nekomaru in detention for about a week.

Mahiru Koizumi

Mahiru wouldn’t even do anything that bad, she would justget caught in the middle or end up getting blamed for something out of hercontrol.

After all, the last thing she wants to do is jeopardize her placement in Hope’sPeak Academy.

But even she isn’t immune to the pranks from fellow students. Her friendshipwith Sato puts her in danger of being targeted by one of the jealous and immature students in the Reserves Course.

Some of the boys in Sato’s class sneak in fake nude photographs while neitherof the girls are looking. Mahiru leaves and goes about her merry way for therest of the day.

While leaving her class that afternoon, she stumbles over her ankle and dropsher bag onto the floor; her books, camera, and photos come tumbling out withit.

Of course, so do the fake ones that were slipped into her bag.

Chisa is helping her collect her items when she notices the fake photographs.They were ‘depictions’ of not only Mahiru herself but also some of the boys inher class.

“What is the meaning of this?” She holds them up to the freckled-facephotographer’s gaze and Mahiru’s expression twists into a confused and angrylook.

She is stuttering and snatches them from her hand, examining them for herself.“These weren’t here this morning! Y-you have to believe me, this isn’t mine!”

“Is this you?” She questions and Mahiru is bright red, a complete mess.Although she was telling the truth and truly didn’t know where they came from,Chisa wasn’t buying it.

She got sent to the Office with the incriminating photos in hand and ultimatelyfaced detention for the first time in her life.

Teruteru Hanamura

Anyone that knows this boy knows that it’s pretty hard forhim to keep it in his pants. Teruteru is a very flirty and adventures person with very little shame. It’s hard toembarrass him and when it comes to attractive people, especially women, he’sgot little to no filter.

He’d land himself in detention by flirting with the wrong person at the wrongtime.

Teruteru is walking down the hall one morning when he spots a new face, someonehe’s never seen before.

Granted, he should have assumed she was a teacher of some sort based on the wayshe was standing outside her class as students filed in.

But in that moment, he probably didn’t really care. That, or he was too blindedby love to notice.

She looked to be fairly young, and beautiful. Trust me, he would know if he’sseen her before.

Confidently, Teruteru waltzed up to her with a cocky grin plastered on hisface. “Hello, miss, my name is Teruteru Hanamura, Ultimate Cook… but I preferUltimate Chef,” he takes her hand in his and kisses the top, “we can cook upsomething hot between us… if you know what I mean.”

The young woman is a bit uncomfortable and draws her hand back slightly, kindlyasking him to turn away. “But miss, I believe in soulmates and I think you’remaking a big mistake by turning me down.”

She is growing increasingly frustrated and loses her cool, snapping and tellinghim to leave her alone in the kindest way possible.

Obviously, he doesn’t get the hint. “I love a woman who can command me around.”

With that last comment and over-exaggerated wink, she’s had enough, finallyrevealing her Substitute Teacher ID and claiming that she’s turning him in.

Teruteru’s stomach turns as he realizes what he’s done. He loves an olderwoman, but he would never have guessed that she was a teacher!

Hiyoko Saionji

I mean, if she doesn’t get detention for bullying thenthat’s a surprise, it’s not only Mikan but other students as well who face herrelentless torture.

Hiyoko was making a series of off-hand and rather rude comments directedtowards one of the other female students.

Once she was finally approached, she gave the teacher a very sinister look andtold her to leave her alone, or else she’d squish them like a bug.

Her threat was meant to be taken as light banter and simply part of herpersonality but it didn’t really land. Hiyoko was now arguing with the teacherand sent to the Office.

The girl was already in a bad mood and having to talk to the Headmaster wasn’t helping.“So, I hear that you’ve been bullying fellow students?”

“I’m not bullying them if the bitch deserved it!” Hiyoko huffs with her armscrossed defensively over her chest. She’s jutting her jaw and staring at thewall angrily.

Her behavior was certainly not the best and Jin began to scribble somethingdown onto her report. He started to say that she was going to be sent to detention for the day so he could sort out the situation with the otherstudents in question.

In a blind, heated moment, Hiyoko defensively stood. She truly felt like shehadn’t done anything wrong and was even nastier today than normal. So withoutthinking, she wrapped her small hands around the desk lamp and forcefully threwit onto the ground where it shattered.

As the bulb flickered, she exclaimed, “Lighten up!” Her pun didn’t sway Jinover, but instead only made the situation worse as he extended her sentence.

Byakuya Twogami (Imposter)

He’s a bit of a wildcard and an Ultimate for a reason. He’snot really afraid to take someone’s identity if it benefits him in any sort ofway.

There was an upcoming Exam that he simply didn’t feel prepared for at all. But…he’s an Imposter so there could be some solution, right?

He decided to use his talent for his own gain and sneak into the Teacher’sLounge the morning before the Exam to swipe the answers. He knew that Chisacarried around a briefcase with all of her papers in it as well so he just needed to find her and he’s golden.

He steals none other than Kyosuke Munakata’s identity and slips happily intothe forbidden room. He bumps into Chisa on his way, knowing she’ll trust good ol’ Munakata!

“Oh, hello Munakata! How are you?” He fumbles with an excuse, choking out somelazy conversation. He then asks her if he can see her papers momentarily, andshe happily hands them over without second guessing the situation.

His plan was foolproof until the actual Kyosuke Munakata waltzes into theLounge and sees the Imposter sitting beside Chisa on the love-seat. His jaw drops and the Imposter doesn’t even notice the man standing in the doorway at first.

Her eyebrows furrow momentarily as she looks at the two Munakata’s before herand then puts the pieces together. The real one snatches the Imposter by hiscollar and demands that he explains himself.

After his cover got blown, he was sent to detention where to took the Exam witha proctor watching over his shoulder.

Akane Owari

She has a very strange schedule, essentially trainingwhenever she feels like it. This means that Akane often misses class to rampagearound the campus.

She had been pushing herself harder on this morning in particular, climbing the gatesbefore they opened and arriving at Hope’s Peak bright and early on purpose.

If illegal trespassing wasn’t enough, she missed almost an entire day of class. Herteacher found her climbing one of the buildings and insisted that she came downfrom there immediately.

Akane didn’t see the big deal, coming to class wasn’t mandatory for Ultimatesas long as they passed their Exams and she felt fine!

That wasn’t the issue, though: it was breaking into the school to train beforeclass even started that caused issues to arise.

As Akane jumped from the building, one of her buttons came undone.

She made a perfect landing, her legs hadn’t even wobbled despite the heightthat she jumped from. But… she was a bit ‘exposed’ to say the least.

Akane stood before her classmates and teacher, bra and nearly whole chestexposed. She stood there, proudly with a wide grin on her face. “Did ya seethat?!”

Oh, they definitely did.

Once she finally noticed what they were staring at, she didn’t even bother tocover herself. “Oh well, school’s over anyway! Might as well enjoy the view!” Just because she’s in-tune with her sexuality doesn’t mean she’s allowed toflaunt it.

She got sent to a week’s-worth of detention for trespassing and nude exposure, complaining the whole time since it took time away from her training.

- Mod Rantaro

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theliterateape · 5 years

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The Old Lady Who Hated Halloween Put A Sign Up Letting Us Know

By Don Hall

When I lived in Arkansas, there was a woman in our neighborhood who absolutely hated Halloween. I don’t know if it was that she was extremely Christian and found the themes of ghouls and monsters and magic to be offensive or if she simply didn’t like kids. Perhaps she had some sort of traumatic event on Halloween when she was younger. No matter. Every Halloween, she’d sit outside her house to scream at the kids as they would come up to her yard — every other home in the neighborhood was decked with fake spiderwebs and jack-o-lanterns and were reservoirs of candy. Chris (one of my roommates) and I would buy tons of the good stuff (aka full-sized Snickers, Twix, and Reese’s Cups) and had a blast with the kids. But not this lady.

At first I was annoyed by her curmudgeonly attitude toward a harmless kid’s holiday. I mean, these weren’t the asshole kids who fucked with your house if you didn’t provide them the sugar-rush they so craved. These were mostly littler kids and the old lady scared them by screaming from her porch.

One year, as October was at the halfway mark, Chris went over to talk to her. He said later that he had suggested she put up a simple sign on her lawn that declared to all walking by that she did not participate in Halloween and that the kids should just pass her place by. It did not go well, according to him. She felt that she shouldn’t have to be singled out, that the children shouldn’t be bothering people anyway and why not just do away with the practice on the block altogether instead of forcing her to put up some sign.

We didn’t push the issue as it wasn’t really our business. On the day of Halloween, however, sure enough, she put up a very nice sign that said “This House Does Not Celebrate Halloween. Please Come Back at Easter and Candy Will Be Given Out Then.” And, lo and behold, the kids left her house alone. I don’t know if she gave out candy at Easter but I thought it was a nice way of dealing with it. She managed to protect herself adequately without forcing everyone else to stifle the joy and enthusiasm of the night which, despite it being Chris’s idea, I thought was both responsible and kind.

Just lately, Vice President Joe Biden is under attack for touching women inappropriately. He’s not being accused of sexually harassing anyone because the man is ebullient and tactile with men, women, children with no regard for sex. The man is just enthusiastic about hugging and showing affection in a physical way. I can’t say why so many women have an issue with this, as if consent is required in every physical interaction but I respect their position. Maybe they don’t want to be touched because they had a traumatic experience earlier, maybe because they grew up in less tactile families, maybe they are using this issue as a way to sour voters on Biden so Bernie or Kamala are more viable options. The why isn’t really all that important.

What is important is that most people don’t mind him hugging them or the onslaught of complaint would be voluminous. I mean, over the forty or fifty years as a political figure, I’d guess the guy has hugged and enthusiastically greeted thousands upon thousands of people so the seven women complaining about his hugging them without explicit consent is a margin of a margin of a sliver of that number.

Most people don’t mind a big, friendly greeting. But a few do. They really do. They have prioritized their personal space in such a way that they feel requires everyone to forego the spontaneous joy encapsulated with a happy to meet you greeting. A backslapping, fun way of saying hello or showing affection. I think they are right to feel that no one should invade their person should they feel it is a violation but I hardly think their peace of mind is worth the stifling of joy that everyone else gets from a grand, high-minded hug.

My suggestion is simple. If you feel somehow that no unsolicited physical contact is appropriate, wear a sign or a t-shirt or a hat that declares that you do not want to be touched without expressed permission to do so. If you have kids who have suffered trauma and they need some sort of badge to indicate that grandpa shouldn’t tussle his hair, treat it no differently than a peanut allergy rather than expect everyone to stop eating peanuts.

It is completely your right to protect your personal space and for whatever reasons you may have. It is, however, unreasonable to expect those with no sexual or harmful intent to read your mind and somehow know that this will be interpreted as inappropriate. It is unreasonable to expect that no one ever engage in any spontaneous hugs because you don’t care for them. I’ll add that, unfortunately, this isn’t going to stop the assholes looking to cop a feel which is an entirely separate issue but it will let the Joe Biden’s of the world, the truly gregarious, genuinely affectionate humans out there understand where your boundaries are.

I suppose a better way of looking at it (and in an unusually funny piece of satire on behalf of SNL) is this (watch it to the end):

The saddest thing I can imagine is the looking out among all the people in the world and only seeing predators when so many simply are not. Some, like Joe Biden, are just really nice people who like to express their affection by getting up in there and touching you. I’d prefer to live in a world where those people are not shut down because there’s enough anger and suspicion in society as it is to paint us all as monsters.

I’ll quote a Faceborg post of a friend who sums this up so much better than I can:

As both a woman and a survivor, I actually have a problem with the idea that this whole thing is supposed to be about women reclaiming their voices and rejecting victimhood. Barring obvious and egregious assault, if you can't own your own boundaries and articulate them at the time they're being breached, that is the opposite of empowerment and the epitome of victimhood.

Maybe articulating those boundaries is uncomfortable for whatever reason. I get uncomfortable asking for a raise even when I know I deserve it. But I don't make my boss read my mind that I want a raise and then torch him two years later because he didn't give me one. Life is sometimes uncomfortable -- learning to recognize and enforce our boundaries respectfully (unless real danger is involved), and learning to operate outside of our comfort-zone sometimes, are fundamental adult skills. Sometimes we'll be better at it than others, but it's not reasonable to expect others to know my boundaries, nor is it reasonable to expect everyone else to adopt my boundaries just so I'll never, ever be uncomfortable.

When I was in my early 30s I moved to a new town where I knew no one. A friend of mine contacted a friend of his and before I even got there I had been invited to a party by someone I'd never met. This guy was part of a close-knit group of friends; the very next time I saw these people, the women hugged me and the guys all kissed me on the cheek to say hello, even though I had only met them once. It was clear that this was how they always greeted one another, and not only did I not take offense at near strangers touching or kissing me in what was obviously meant to be an affectionate gesture, but it actually meant a lot to me to be so quickly and obviously accepted as part of this group during a particularly lonely time in my life, and to know that they were happy to see me. FWIW, I eventually married one of them.

So why is it okay that someone who doesn't communicate her own boundaries gets to decide that her boundaries should be the default for the rest of us? If I had been a different person, perhaps I might have felt uncomfortable with physical affection from people whom I'd just met, but then it would have been my responsibility to say so. Maybe it would have been awkward. Maybe I might have been afraid that if I rejected their gestures they wouldn't like me. But on the flipside, if that's all it took for them to withdraw their friendship, I would have been better off without that friendship in the first place.

I certainly respect someone else's right to feel that discomfort. But I don't respect their right to impose it as the standard by which everyone else has to operate, especially when they don't speak up for themselves and give people the chance to respect said boundaries. (Again, I'm not talking about egregious words or acts like, say, talking about grabbing women by the pussy....)

The world owes none of us a life free of all discomfort, free of all awkwardness, free of all confrontation. And this kind of hysteria robs young women (and the rest of us) of real agency instead of teaching us to speak up when it really matters, to shake off that which really doesn't, and to understand that that line is different for everyone.

— Risa McDonnell

#do not stifle enthusiasm #not all people are predators #Old Lady #Joe Biden #Halloween

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bloojayoolie · 5 years

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Being Alone, Children, and Internet: Me The three of you need to keep the place clean or I will implement I get it, you have said it e repeated CDKF routine checks Thanos brick what started it all 1s 1 was the one who send the above message and I am not impressed with your response. I would like to talk to you all tonight especially you. It seems that the error of not having rules has resulted in disrespect and chaos and it has to you this mad? Where the fuck did chaos come out of that? can maybe see 'disr blowing her off, but that dez-Monday 6:27 AM Order, chaos. When either triumphs alone the world dies. I tried to bring an end to chaos and it has only led to ruin I like this quote. Encroaching on the freedom of autonomy that people especially adults hold nearest, is a slippery slope. Tread lightly Just solid truth. Trampling on to live their life by their will Monday 12:06 PM Let's all of us meet Tuesday @ 9pm See below Coming to give the sink a plunger dez-Monday 8:40 PM CDKF Sink fixed dez-Monday 8:55 PM If you plan on talking down to me again, you can expect my absence. Here We are not your sons. This unit is separate Treat it as such. Hoping they realize their efforts to institute rules beyond written general instructions is not within their abilities as Monday 9:26 PM See below. Either way we all meet tomorrow. I Dexpect everyone to show up Kevin Fernandez-Monday 9:28 PM Thanks for giving me a reason to be out See below Monday 9:45 PM here You broke my golden rule of respect, to never talk down to me. If we speak, we speak on a level field with level heads. Something that hasn't been clearly demonstrated by the other side involved in this on. Until you admit fault for doing so, we are not on speaking terms Monday 9:55 PM Then follow the rules that will be set in your absences includes the inspection of private quarters on the grounds of cleanliness. consent of the tenant is a violation of privacy within the 2006 ORTA end of text conversion] Some context. As a student, I devote time to my studies and in the process my room can reach a certain degree of disarray. In a unit shared with two others, the sink can very quickly become inundated with dishes that we don't see ourselves as having the time to complete at the same rate as accumulation as such we often rotate [between me and one other] orn the dishes each Thursday/Saturday/Sunday, depending on schedules and upcoming tests orassignments. The couch sheds as well, due to being faux and not real leather, so there are speckles from it that litter the ground even after a few days of casual use. Following the thanos brick comment, the landlord came from the lands above the basement I inhabit and proceeded to rant to me about cleanliness and the tone was of someone who views themself as all-powerful speaking down to who they view as inferior. My ego stands none of that, and thus I stand for myself. Her temper flares as I don't back into a corner, and preaches of "disreprespect and "chaos of unknown origin. The roommates and I are unclear as to what she means by disrespect as, even though she has asked to motivate a cleaning on our own accord in the past, this time her intentions are to mandate chores to each of us, as if we are her children. We have lived in harmony for the past 17 months, with the only real issue being they took most of those 17 months to fix the internet of which is provided to us in our utility charge. Where she gets chaos, I don't know. But her insistance on the implications of rules upon a private residence does not chime well with the 2006 Ontario Residential Tenancies Act, as attemptinge to assert this level of authority-under the threat of eviction no less-is beyond her Prepare for this, as the saga is not over. In the interaction where she and her husband attempted to assume direct control, the husband character administered the following threats. The university often likes to know what their students are up to off campus. and There are things that you can do as a licensed accountant that can make like very difficult le. Both of which are clearly threats as an attempt of coersion and violates the 2006 ORTA chapter 17, section 23 on "Landlord not to harass" These proceedings have left me on the verge of eviction in the middle of the university term. What absolute pieces of shit

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Being Alone #Children

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prorevenge · 7 years

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Just because someone is generous doesn't mean you can take advantage of them.

warning: very long story.

Background: both my parents are ophthalmologists (eye surgeon) and they practice at a private clinic together. To comply with rule #6 I won't mention in which country this takes place but keep in mind this isn't in the states or Canada.

Five years ago my parents took over a private clinic. The doctor that was practicing there previously had treated his nurses horribly (e.g., yelling and throwing things at the nurses when they make a mistake, calling them all sorts of awful names even in front of patients). However, my parents are not the kind of people who can do that.

So when my parents took over the clinic, they gave the nurses a raise, were flexible with their schedule, and treated them humanely. Not to generalize an entire country but for an employer to treat their employees with kindness is not very common here.

Here's where the problem started. The nurses, instead of appreciating my parents' generosity, they thought it would be okay to try and take advantage of this situation. They would show up late, come up with excuses to skip their shift and complain when my parents don't pay them for their personal days, and they would talk down to my parents.

My parents never tolerated this kind of behaviour in the first place. Whenever the nurses behaved like this, they would sit them down and remind them that they should be treating my parents with respect not only because my parents are their superior but because they're all adults. They would behave well for a few months and then the same thing would happen again. My parents have already replaced two of them so it's not like they're under the illusion that they have job security.

*Soapbox alert*: What bothers me most is that these nurses behaved perfectly well when they were being treated like animals by the previous doctor. And I would be more understanding if they were young but these nurses are in their mid-forties to mid-fifties.

Anyway, August is when most businesses take their summer vacation which basically means employees get a three or four day weekend but very rarely more than four. And surprise surprise, one of the nurses last week were complaining about not receiving a six-day-long paid vacation. She's claiming that's how much nurses receive at other clinics (which they don't) and that it's illegal for my parents to not allow them to do so (it's not). And it's not like we're prohibiting her from using up her personal days to extend her long weekend.

I think that was the last straw for my mother. She spoke to our lawyer to double check what we're allowed to do. Here's a rough translation of what my mom said to that nurse yesterday in front of all the other nurses:

"We pay you above average for a private clinic nurse and we've been more than reasonable to your complaints and requests. There's nothing else I can do to make the work environment here any safer and more peaceful. Despite never having done anything illegal nor violating any part of our contract, you think it's appropriate to act like we're taking advantage of you? Fine, let's play by the 'law'."

Her contract needs to be renewed at the end of September. Her pay will be decreased to the legally required minimum wage.

The premium healthcare we provide for our employees that we're not legally obligated to pay for? Her's will be reduced to the basic plan.

Nurses are paid by the hour and there's no minimum number of hours legally required in the contract so we already cut her shifts by half.

The workforce in this country is incredibly competitive so given her age, it is very unlikely she'll be able to find another job as a nurse. Even if she did, she would have to leave my parents on good terms; as in she can't badmouth us or cause chaos right before quitting otherwise her license could easily be taken away and all it takes is for my parents to blacklist her in the doctors' association and no doctor in this country will ever hire her.

Her husband owns a construction firm that does pretty well so it's not like the contract revisions will put her family out in the streets or anything. Still, I know this kind of makes us look like monsters but my parents rarely take such drastic measures. As their child, it was super satisfying to see them finally defend themselves.

(There are multiple updates from the author)

Edit #2: Okay so since this is slowly starting to turn into a guessing game, my parents are from one of the "major" oriental countries. It's not that I'm paranoid about revealing information about my private life, there's just no good that can come from me saying which country it is especially given the context. It's a country that's quite popular in Western culture and the issues I mention are connected to some of the country's deeply rooted issues which are not often discussed.

Edit #3: Okay, so edit #2 was not meant to be a hint but I'm glad everybody is having fun. For those of you trying to make educated guesses from my other posts, I don't live with my parents and I'm only visiting them at the moment but I appreciate the effort. For those who are trying to guess where this is based on my username, who the hell in this world doesn't love to poop?

Edit #4: I've received a lot less negative comments than I initially imagined I'd get given that most of the revenge stories I see on here are the other way around (employee getting revenge on their employer). So thank you for all your support. But there still seems to be quite a few number of people who are going out of their way to make assumptions to fulfill their "all rich people are evil" fantasy. And for those people, I'd like to get a few things off my chest that I think the rest of you would find interesting to read too:

Not all doctors make bank. Especially at a private clinic and especially in a country where there's at LEAST one eye clinic per block.

Not all rich people drive Bentleys and eat live orphans for every meal. We They occasionally eat orphans that are already dead.

Not all rich people are trust fund babies. Maybe, just MAYBE, my parents were born into poor families and they studied really hard to succeed? No? Oh, okay.

Oh and maybe, again just MAYBE, some wealthy people do their part in society by actually paying their tax? No? We all avoid tax and then avoid prosecution because we can afford to hire fancy, expensive lawyers? YES! GUILTY! Where's my maid? I'm starving. I haven't had a dead orphan for like a week.

But on a more serious note, it costs less for a consultation/diagnosis in this country even at a private clinic than a delicious Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell *winkwink. My parents pay almost 20x more than the average citizen here for the nationwide healthcare tax which is why, despite being incredibly advanced in medicine, a complicated eye surgery that would cost tens of thousands of dollars in the states would only cost a couple of hundred dollars here. And clinics only take those payments from patients because they're legally required. It would be more beneficial for clinics to refuse payment from patients because it would attract more business and they receive most of their revenue directly from insurance companies anyway. Boom.

So anyway, just some more interesting details or "hints" if you guys want to keep guessing. Sorry to disappoint the few of you who really, really wanted to believe we were bad people. And maybe we are but most likely not in the way you're fantasizing.

(source) (story by deleted)

#pro revenge #by ilove2poop #prorevenge #pro revenge stories #revenge stories #pro #revenge

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yuki-d-raizel-blog · 6 years

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Hero

Chapter 33/??

Relationship: Todoroki Shouto x Reader (Your/Name), (Full/Name)

Summit: It all begin at the Sports Festival when Shouto’s other half met Endevour by mistake. The student never thought to see his partner fight against his father just to show him that he is wrong. It started from that instant, Shouto’s new path started exactly from that moment thanks to his friends and his beloved one.

---

"Crap, they found it out already? " thinks Joel, "Oh yeah, the waves things... Maybe they saw a change in them and they understood it... Shit."

<<You can't decline it.>> the man stopped (Y/N) before she could speak, <<It's a high priestess's order.>>

<<She wasn't very sick?>> retorts Lenka, <<You didn't come last time to force (Y/N) to take the lead of the family? Now, she's fine?>>

<<She is not, but she is recovering.>> replies the other man, <<She ordered that the third coming of Kafka and her servants must return to the estate.>> they turn their heels and exit, then stop in front of Miraje and Hakkai, <<The third Kafka's heir has two new servants, your violation was helpful, so we will not punish you.>>

<<Her name is (Y/N), try your best to remember it, guys.>> Kirishima can't stand those people at all, <>

<<Do you know who you are facing?>> the woman moves the hand from her mouth to Eijiro's forehead, even with that veil, it's clear that she is looking at the student with an angry gaze, <<Know your place->>

<<(Y/N)!! Hey, hang in there! Call someone!>>

The chiefs open the door again to check what happened and find the girl vomiting blood, bleeding from her nose and eyes. While her childhood friends explain what happened before, the chiefs notice her crystal earring cracking.

<<!! The beasts are going in berserk! (Y/N) control them!>> they're using some strange techniques to help the girl to repress the beasts that are trying to get out somehow.

<<I-I'm t-trying....>> the girl continues to vomit blood and crouch into herself to enduring the pain all over her body, <<T-they won't t-to l-listen to m-me...>>

A strange aura born around her, and the chiefs are ready to suppress her immediately, but Shuu and Joel punch them hardly enough to send them out of the room. Miraje and Hakkai stare at those men laid at the ground shocked.

<<If you want to kill (Y/N), I dare you fucking bastards to do it, but over my fucking corpse!>> both are so upset that it's new even for your grandparents, they’re always so calm, now it seems like they are consumed by their own rage, <<Move a step and this hospital will be your fucking grave!>>

<<Hey sugar cube, we're here, can we do something to help you?>> says Lenka scared of what’s happening, this is all new for all of them, (Y/N) never had symptoms like those.

<<I’m the one... who holds the reins....>> slowly, the aura goes back, <<Obey me... Go to your place...>> a few minutes later, everything is settled, and the girl recovers fast from the crisis. Tenka calls a nurse to change the sheets, while Shouto and Izuku helps you to clean yourself.

<<Come tomorrow to the estate Kafka's child.>> says the woman, <<This is worse than we thought. The high priestess must know this.>> she exits with a fast pace and talks to Miraje, <<Come with me, this is a huge emergency.>>

<<Yes ma'am.>> your grandma quickly follows the leader.

---

The next morning, (Y/N) and her friends, Todoroki and Izuku leave to reach the Ryuhi's mansion. The students are disorientated when they see a boat and a man with similar clothes to the chiefs on board, but without asking anything, they get in and the boat weighs anchor. While you and Shouto rest a bit, Izuku asks politely why they took a boat and Tenka replies to him while plays with a PSP.

<<The Ryhui family is nonexistent for the world, they live and work around the globe, but the high spheres of the family live in a phantom island not reported on maps. That place is used as a training camp for each member of the family to help them to achieve their dreams, or at least, that's what they say.>>

<<They have a fixation for traditions and all those stupid things... Someone in the past died because had broken the rules.>> comments Lenka listening to music, <<Everyone is kind there though, the high spheres are the asshole ones, so until we meet them, you can do whatever you want.>>

"E-eh? They kill people if they break the rules?! Where are we, in the medieval era?" thinks Izuku feeling a huge pressure on his shoulders, <<H-how we should behave then?>>

<<Treat the high spheres like shit.>> says Shuu enjoying the view of the sea, <<Let (Y/N) speak for you and try your best to not do something bad, or she will be in trouble.>>

<>

<<Wait until they meet us to say that.>> the man shakes you gently, you are arrived, <<You're gonna eat those words up.>>

The boat anchors and stops right in front of a wooden bridge. Since Todoroki slept during the journey, Joel summits all the advices that he must respect on these lands, and the student memorized them in once, if they make problems for (Y/N), he will respect those rules better than a soldier.

The view that shows to them is wonderful, everything is painted in green, big cherry blossom trees form a way towards a huge staircase which leads to an enormous oriental castle....? What the hell is that?! Is so big, too big, what the fu-

The tiles are white as the snow, little houses here and there and that's only a side of that place... Their attention is stolen by the same man that was with you during the internship.

<<Young Master, what happened to your hair?>> he says offering his hand to help you to get off the bridge.

<>

<<Really?>> the man looks at you confused.

<<Of course not, silly.>> you lightly hit him on the arm and smile, <> "No matter how many times I come here... I still hate this place with all my might..."

<<Oh, how careless I am, I didn't introduce myself.>> he bows in front of the students, <<My name is Ran and I am (Y/N)'s guardian. We already met during the Hosu accident, but pleased to meet you again, heroes Deku and Shouto.>>

<<Are you the hero, Ray...?>> asks shyly Izuku.

<> Ran and (Y/N) see that a lot of people are forming a way from there until the castle, and the girl sighs already tired, <<Young Master, please bear with it. We can't break the rules.>>

<<We can't fucking do anything here, I see no differences.>> she whispers back.

Suddenly, everyone starts to sing with powerful voices and the group moves forward. Children, adolescents, adults and even old persons, male, female... there's so many people, what is this? Since the two young heroes are confused, Lenka explains what's happening.

<<Every time a Kafka's heir arrives, a hymn called: "Riot of a Hundred Flames" must be played as sign of respect and worship, since the ones like (Y/N) are considered as a god here.>>

<<How stupid...>> whispers Todoroki, looking at all those people lowering their heads while singing.

<<As the world recognizes you as Endevour's son and not for being Shouto, here is the same thing.>> whispers back Tenka walking behind (Y/N).

When they reach the top of the staircase, a huge wide space is waiting them. As the hymn reaches its end, the servants of the house, sit on their knees in a very polite pose, immobile as a statue. (Y/N) stays at the top of the group, staring at the side of the castle where there are a few seats and three servants are attending the arrive of the chiefs.

Shuu remembers to Shouto and Izuku to be mute and let (Y/N) speak, even if they’re the bearers of the beasts, she has more power inside the hierarchy, leave everything to her is the best choice right now. The silence falls upon them, everything is so quiet that Midoriya can hear the sound of the river, the sound of the leaves... A whisper rises from the servants group, starting a conversation.

<> , <<We must reveal ourselves? What she was thinking?>> , <> , <<She is planning to reject the right to lead the family, what a disgraceful child.>> , <<What you were aspecting from her? She is the Black Sun.>>

<<Seems that you did a big mistake this time, right, third coming of Kafka?>> one of the servant who’s waiting near the empty seats, speaks aloud, <<This happened because you didn't obey to our orders.>>

<<Shut up useless bitch, I'm not here to talk with you.>>

<<Mph, talks the unwanted child you are, who is the most useless one here?>>

<<Todoroki-kun for the love of god, restrain yourself!>> whispers Midoriya clinging to Shouto's arm because he was unlocking his quirk, <<We must bear with it, or else, (Y/N)-chan will pay for us.>> "God, Shuu-san was right... It's very hard to not say something back. Why these people are so mean with her? Is this the way to treat someone that you consider like a god?"

<<Talks the woman that couldn't become anything in her life, so she decided to become a slutty dog for a miserable master.>> Joel notices that the tip of her hair is turning black, she is losing her composure, this is bad...

<<You->> a door slides open and the three chiefs walk to their seats. Everyone lows their head a little, but not (Y/N) and her friends, they mustn't do that since they are in a higher position inside the family, and they want to treat those bastards like shit too. Two birds with a stone.

<<Welcome, Kafka's heir and her servants.>> speaks the man, <<Explain what happened in the Hosu prefecture.>>

<> responds the girl, <<You are not wise enough.>>

<<Your new servants have tamed the power of the beast?>>

<> your friends understand right away that you’re at your limit, your voice is becoming harsher, <<If you reject my request, I'll do it by myself.>>

<<She is sick today, you must talk with us.>>

<<I've warned you.>> the girl walks a few steps followed by her group, but the woman who was arguing with before and the other servants block her, <<C'mon, do you think that these good-for-nothing can beat me? It's against my vow to hurt someone, I let you step aside voluntarily.>>

<<Dogs don't talk; when your master says come, you come!>> the other man shouts angrily.

<<You might not know this, but I'm a crazy bastard that'll bite her master.>> you smile evilly, <<This is your last chance, let me meet the high priestess.>>

<<Are you deaf-GHA!!!>> (Y/N) grabbed the woman's hand, twisted it and kneed her elbow, breaking her arm. Izuku jumps when he hears what sound makes the other servants that are crushed on the ground so easily and with so much power. They’re groaning in pain in front of the girl, who doesn't even look at them.

<<These bitches aren't suitable even for a warming up. Ran is much stronger than them->>

<<What is all this mess?>>

An authoritarianvoice stops everything.

---Continue...

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 21.5, 22, 22.5, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, Last Chapter

#todoroki shouto #shoto todoroki #midoriya izuku #deku midoriya #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha scenarios #scenarios #fanfictions #anime #manga

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biancagarciacruz-blog · 7 years

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15 Filipinas On Why They Need Birth Control, The Contraceptive Ban And Why It’s Stupid

Unless you haven’t heard, The Supreme Court has issued a TRO (temporary restraining order) on contraceptives in 2015. At first, they were only covering Implanon and other implants. It was later expanded to cover pills, injectables, intrauterine devices, vaginal rings, and other brands. Slowly but surely, oral contraceptives have been disappearing off the shelves of drug stores and health centres, including my brand, with the great possibility of them disappearing forever in about three years.

If The Supreme Court has it’s way, we Filipinos will only be left with two options: condoms and “Family Planning”. For my readers abroad or anyone who simply doesn’t know, “Family Planning” basically means ABSTINENCE. Yes, they are basically asking us to abstain from sex, which by the way is one our basic human needs. Because fuck science, right?

Personally, I am outraged. I am outraged because The Supreme Court refuses to look at the country’s real problems, like overpopulation and immense poverty. They are so focused on turning a blind eye on the real issues only because [Insert Bible verse here]. We are sorry (no, we’re really not), but that will never be a good enough excuse. Wake up, guys! What year is it? People are definitely having sex and birth control is ABSOLUTELY NOT only about having sex. Oh my god, what a shocker. Let me give you 15 Filipinas On Why They Need Birth Control, The Contraceptive Ban And Why It’s Stupid.

First thing’s first:

SIGN THE PETITION HERE

“I am currently using trust pills. It's cheap as hell, does the job, and it’s the only one I have tried so far that doesn't make me feel awful side effects like headaches and nausea. My partner and I were alarmed by this TRO on contraceptives as we're both not ready to have kids yet and let's be real, we're both consenting adults in a committed relationship. We're having sex responsibly. I take the pill for my peace of mind. I like having the choice of deciding when to have kids. We've decided to hoard on pills and hope this TRO will be lifted soon enough.”

-Koko

“I am absolutely furious. This will directly affect my health as I do take Yasmin for a number of things. One, to balance my hormones, because I suffer from hormonal imbalance, which affects my skin, my mood, my hair, my appetite, and much more. Two, I use it to avoid unwanted pregnancy, because I cannot afford more than one child. I feel very violated that a bunch of lawmakers could even think of interfering with women’s health rights. My next move would probably be to buy contraceptives abroad. I will definitely not allow these idiots to control my body.”

-Anonymous

“I use Diane birth control pills, and I take it because my ob-gyn diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). Apparently, it's like an epidemic now, and many young women have it, as it's linked to stress, which I really am. That's my main reason for using it, because without it, I get really crazy hormone imbalance, crazy weight gain/loss, and I skip my periods months at a time, but sometimes bleed for months at a time. I don't really use it for actual contraception uses but, sure, why not? [If] bringing BC in from abroad [becomes] illegal, I have no idea how I'm going to survive.”

-Meriela

“In transition from male to female, you are to take two medications, estrogen and anti-androgen. Estrogen pills are very difficult to find so we substitute it with birth control pills, which has estrogen content in it. Anti androgen is by prescription but unfortunately gender doctors are not available in the country due to laws. Contraceptives are the only alternative for us to transition until we are able to finance ourselves to buy our medications abroad, which is quite expensive. Banning contraceptives here in the Philippines is taking away the freedom of us transgender being able to transition and express who we are. Not only that, it is taking away freedom of women the choice of what happens in her body. The only way for me to be able to transition is if I move to other countries to continue my medication. Transgender people will no longer be able to transition of contraception is not allowed in the Philippines.”

-Ish

**As a former fashion student that has been in fashion school for more than three years, I’ve had the pleasure and privilege of having such a wide array of people with different genders and sexualities around me, including transgender women. The talk of birth control and injections for their transition was a normal, everyday conversation for us. I really can’t explain why it took me a couple of days to even realize that they too will be greatly affected by the TRO. Now, it comforts me to know that we have more beautiful souls to fight for the right to our own bodies.

“Pills have changed my life. For almost a year, I’ve been in and out of the hospital (monthly) because of my ovarian cysts. Antibiotics and other medication have been given to me but they would just cure the cysts for a certain amount of time, then the cysts would still come back. But when I decided to ask for a third opinion from my third OB, she asked me to take Dianne pills for 3 months. I tried it and goodbye cysts for almost a year now.”

-Shin

“For years, I have always been irregular with my menstrual cycle. After getting checked, my doctor told me I have PCOS and that I needed to take birth control pills. It took me three different brands (roughly six months) to finally find the pill with barely any side effects. Finding out about the TRO made me sick to my gut. Most pro-life groups argue that there are "natural" ways to treat PCOS, and trust me, I've tried doing that already. I was on metformin, and I changed my lifestyle. However, nothing made me feel more in control, less anxious and less worrisome than the pill I'm taking now. I think working with the government to lift this TRO is the first step. I know that they agreed for a public hearing, so all efforts must be geared towards that. My last move is to talk to my doctors for alternatives because I'm hopeful that we can do something about it!”

-Ekay

“Ayy, that’s basically preventing Filipina transgender women, like myself, from their transition. We, the transgender community, don’t even get any support from the government to begin with and now they even dare to take away our pills! Worst comes to worst, I’m just going to order hormones from Thailand.”

-Yuko

“As a student nurse, I would go and visit communities and talk to pregnant women, mothers, and families. I was distraught by their lack of knowledge with sex and reproductive health. To have a community of people, men and women who are not used to using condoms and did not undergo proper sex education. What happens to women if you take away the only contraceptive they are using or the only contraceptive that works for them? As a woman, I should have rights that protect myself from the closed minded sectors of this country like the government, religious groups, and the church. Although I have respect for the religious communities and the church, they must understand that not everyone has the same belief system and values as them and the way I live my life should be my choice. I am using birth control pills and my reason for using the pills is that I have a boyfriend, we are sexually active and I do not want to get pregnant. [If it gets banned permanently,] one option would be to get an injection in another country when I travel but also my boyfriend would always use a condom.”

-China

**Just to get a clear picture on how bad it really is here in the Philippines, the same student nurse told me about the one time when she and her co-students were demonstrating how to properly use a condom to a local community. To demonstrate this, they used their thumb as the penis and used the condom accordingly. A few weeks later, they got a complain from a couple in the said community. They were upset that they have been using the condoms just to find out that the girlfriend was pregnant. The nurses later found out that they have been using condoms, except they were using them on their thumbs.

“I’ve been on oral contraceptives for the past 6 years, and every time I had to take a short break from them, all the symptoms that came with my PCOS (month long periods, irregular cycles, extremely painful cramps, acne, mood swings, insecurity, etc.) would start up again. As a Filipina, who is very dependent on birth control, to hear that there is a TRO on contraceptives is absolutely horrifying. It shouldn’t matter if a woman uses BC because she wants to have safe sex, or if someone like me needs to take BC to regulate her period and be able to do the simplest things and not have deal with the inconvenience and pain of irregular periods. 1 out of 5 women in the world have PCOS, and each one differs in symptoms, so I can only imagine how many women have worse symptoms than mine and really do need the pills just to be able to do regular things.”

-Maji

“Since we, my boyfriend and I, do not use condoms, I drink contraceptive pills as an alternative. We do not like using condoms because we feel less every time we do. I actually do not know [what I’m going to do about it]. Abstain, maybe? Or take extra precautions when it comes to having sex. It's going to be hard though. This is why I believe that the TRO is unnecessary. It's like taking hope away from people. We just want to be sexually free, you know?”

-AA

Ladies (and gentlemen), now is the time to act! Please make your voice heard, educate those around you, share the petition, and get our bodies back!

#birthcontrol #philippines #feminism #femenist #humanrights

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deadlyarcanist · 7 years

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13 reasons why.

I just finished the Netflix's show "13 Reasons Why", after spending the past two days literally doing nothing with my free time but watching it.

This show, based on a book series, caught my attention (and so many of my friends) for being one of the most realistic, hurtful, ugly portrait of what having emotional and mental issues can do to you. What people can do to you. What men can do to women.

One of my best friends told me she couldn't keep watching, because it brought up things that she buried inside herself a long time ago. Another friend told me he would feel anxious everytime he tried to watch it. Many others told me they got their mental illness smashed on their faces within every episode. And I lost count on how many tweets, reviews and facebook posts I read where girls would share their deepest traumas regarding sexual abuse and slut-shaming and how the show opened up those wounds a little bit, all over again.

As for myself... I try to not talk about my personal life, and specially about my past, on social media. Or in life, to be fair. I always divert attention to other situations, maybe social interactions, maybe other people, so I can avoid talking about me. I might even pretend to talk about myself a lot - without actually telling you anything that matters. I'll talk about my exchange program, I'll talk about my travels, my music, my make up; I might even talk about my religion or even some of my friends. But, in the end of the day, I didn't said anything about myself, really.

My point with this is, first of it all, to take some weight out of my chest. To make my mind a little lighter than it's been, to maybe get someone who is going through shit (or put someone through shit) to understand how everything can change and how much small things can affect you while growing up.

Or maybe, if you can relate to any of this, you'll feel like you're not alone.

I wanna try and discuss a few of the topics that the tv show approached, and how it affected me and might be affecting people you know or even yourself.

Today's subject will be sexism, the rape culture and the slut-shaming shit we face everyday, regardless where you live in this world.

Let's start saying that if you're a male, when it comes to the sexual part of this, you won't ever understand. Not completely. But I appreciate you're trying.

EVERY girl has been put through some kind of abuse, at some point of her life. I know I did.

I was the girl who wanted to grow up really fast. I had more boyfriends than I could count, I made out with people I don't even know the name. I was the 15 year old kid dating a 23 year old guy. Guys, actually. I lost count on how many older dudes I dated between my 15 and 17 years. That's not only pathetic, it's fucking revolting that I had male adults all over me when I literally just got out of middle school. As you can imagine, none of this turned out that well. I was a child. I was imature, I had no idea of who I truly was and I had no idea on how I should be treated. I let men, full bearded men, take advantage of me (and i'm not even talking strictly about sex here), but to influence on how I grew up.

I grew up with this fucked up sense of needing a male to be by my side or else I would be meaningless. I thought I was weak, dependent. Older males. Adult males taking advantage of a fucked up teenager. They made me believe I was their property. They made me believe I was nothing without them. That this messed up sense of protection was all I needed to be happy. And let me tell you this: some of those guys now play on some of your favorite bands and preach about respect on stage.

So, to all of the guys who walked in my life at that time: I hope you understand that what you were doing was abuse. That I was a fucking girl thinking I was a woman. Who thought it was awesome to have a 20-something boyfriend to tell my friends how cool I was. I didn't knew any better, BUT YOU DID. You were the adult and you should have walked away.

And to all the creeps in their 20s (or over) who think it's okay to flirt, interact or actually date an underage girl: I hope you understand you're a scumbag. And honestly, just to think about all that shit makes me want to throw up.

------

Still in the subject abuse, now let's talk about rape, about consent. I was lucky enough this one never happened to me, but it did happened to more than one of my closest friends, and to a extremely close family member.

And this haunts them every single day.

They were blamed for their own abuse, they were laughed at, slut-shamed. They had to hear that if they didn't drink that night, it wouldn't happened. If they wouldn't walking by themselves at night, they wouldn't have been abused. That maybe they should have dressed better if they didn't wanted male attention. This is no news to you, i'm pretty sure. I'm 100% sure you heard all of this kind of shit, if you didn't said it yourself.

I just want to tell you that this moment, those five, ten minutes where those girls were being abused, they marked them forever. They changed because of that. Some of them could never get close to a man again in their lives. Some of them have nightmares about being raped again, some of them lost the support of their families, some of them lost their loved ones. All because one guy couldn't understand the concept of NO. Because that one guy couldn't accept the fact that they didn't wanted him. Because the couldn't control himself. Or because he didn't cared. Because they, my friends and my family, weren't people to his eyes at that moment - they were a thing; a piece of meat.

You know, I never been raped and I thank God everyday for it. But I've been abused in so many other ways. I've been touched against my will, I've been forced kissed, I've been chased on the street, I've been pulled by my hair in the middle of clubs, I've been cat called, I've been stalked, I've been sent many unrequested dick pics, I've been threatened to have my private pictures leaked. I almost got thrown in a car by four guys when I was only 14, while I went to one of my school friend's house, literally 5 minutes away. I was wearing my school uniform, which was an oversized tee and boy shorts. Was I "asking for it"? Was my way to dress to provocative to those pervs? I've been called a whore, i've been called a slut, I've been called crazy, I've been called easy. The most recent one is that I post sexy pictures because I seek male attention and that "isn't that what I wanted?" when I got unrequested nudes. Oh, also that i'm a "homie hopping whore", because I liked some pictures on the instagram account that happens to be friends with a guy I went out last year.

My point here: if you're a girl, i'm pretty sure you've been through some sort of situation like that before. You might be going through it right now. That shouldn't be a routine, this shouldn't be normal.

If I didn't had the right people coming to my life, I would never understand how strong I really am, who I really am; I would never be independent and well resolved with my own terms. And more important of it all: that what people did to me, what I believed it was just fine, was completely wrong. And how that made my life as a teenager so much harder than it needed to be.

On the show, Hannah (the main character) commits suicide after being cyberbullied, slut-shamed, objectified and, ultimately, raped. But this is a tv show, right? But I'll get you wondering... How many real Hannah's are out there? How many young girls gave up their lives over unkind words, over mean comments, over being violated? How many girls had their feelings - and their bodies - so hurt that they decided to stop all that by opening their wrists, hanging out their bedroom ceilings, jumping off buildings? How many cis, trans, old, young, black, white, rich, poor girls were so emotionally and psychologically destroyed that their thought that suicide was their only option?

Think about it. Do your research.

Your words, your attitudes, showing your support to friends and people you might not even know can change their whole life. It can be the difference between another day at school or a funeral next morning. It can change the mind of a girl who thought she was nothing more than a piece of meat to actually realizes that she's worth something. That she has more to offer than her body. It can build up or completely destroy someone's self-esteem and the way they cope with daily struggles. Your words and your attitudes can stop your friend from taking advantage of that drunk girl at the party, or to get justice for a victim. It can help your "bros" to understand what's right and what's wrong.

You have no fucking clue on what's happening on someone's life, so be kind. Be patient. Be respectful. Don't cover up for sexist, predatory attitudes. Don't judge, don't blame the victims. Be there for them.

#13reasonswhy #thirteen reasons why #13 reasons why #hannah baker #clay jensen #liberty high #netflix #depression #suicide #sexism #abuse #you're not alone #alone #broken

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morganbelarus · 6 years

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Tila Tequila Claims She’s Responsible For Adult Film Star’s Death

It should go without saying that death is probably the most tragic thing that can ever happen to a human. I mean, it’s literally the end of your life – your relationships, your achievements, your memories can all be gone in the blink of an eye.

And because death is so incomparably tragic, it is a universal norm that we treat the dead with respect. Even, in some cases, if they have done us wrong in the past. However, former Celebrity Big Brother star Tila Tequila doesn’t see it that way apparently. In fact, Tila has made some tremendously vile claims that she was behind the death of a 20-year-old adult film actress by the name of Olivia Nova. Olivia Nova – real name Lexi Rose Forte – was found dead on Sunday in Las Vegas. Her cause of death is yet to be confirmed, however, Tila believes she knows exactly how and more importantly why she died. In a shocking Facebook post, Tila – real name Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen – praised God for bringing about the death of the X-rated actress. The 36-year-old TV personality is no stranger to controversy and seems to thrive off of rubbing people up the wrong way. In August 2015, the reality TV star was removed from the Celebrity Big Brother house after a photoshopped photograph of her standing outside Auschwitz wearing a Nazi armband made its rounds on the internet. The mom-of-one, who doesn’t “believe” in vaccinations, made very callous remarks about Nova, strongly indicating that she deserved to die. She also claimed that she prayed for it to happen. “Looks like more pornstars are dying or have died! Yikes! You all better get out of this industry asap because more deaths and deadly diseases will hit this particular industry very soon because I prayed for it to be!” she wrote. “God is now working his way to make this happen! Don’t say I didn’t warn you all! I suggest those in the porn industry to repent of your sins so that you MAY be saved! FOR THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she added. “Those who laugh will be mourning and looks like that hour of mourning is finally here!!!!! Hallelujah, praise the God of justice!”

Over the last few months, there has been an increase in the number of reported deaths amongst young porn stars, including August Ames, 23, Yuri Luv, 31, and Shyla Stylez, 35. And Tila believes it is their ‘abhorrent’ lifestyles that is ‘wiping them out’ one by one. In case, you hadn’t already realized, Tila is a super ‘devout’ born-again Christian, but instead of displaying qualities such as forgiveness and compassion, she is ‘praying’ for the death of anyone whose lifestyle she disapproves of. “I literally just spent a prayer session TARGETING the porn industry and I prayed that these pornstars will all fall extremely ill with infirmities, and start to die off so that everyone will flee from this industry never again to return!!” she wrote in another post. “Then soon after I see in the news that a porn star died suddenly!!! Whoa! God listens to me and gives me whatever I ask for in Jesus’ name.” In a separate Facebook post, she called on God to ‘strike’ her down if she had said anything which violated Christian doctrine:

“Since everyone is getting all riled up about the things that I have been saying…. I will take it upon myself to take it even a step further by praying that the Lord God strikes me down, breaks my teeth, breaks my bones, and strike me down with lightning if anything I have said so far has been of lies!”

She then goes on to imply that she is an actual bona fide prophet and that the fact that God has not struck her down is confirmation of this:

“If I am a false prophet like many demons or blind ones claim then I pray that God will strike me down right now in the name of Jesus!!! Amen! Ps- And because I am not a false prophet who has not told lies….God will NOT strike me down while everyone else gets struck down with calamity! LMAO! #ThankYouJesus .”

There is no excusing the callous words that Tila Tequila wrote about Olivia Nova on her social media pages. It defies belief that anyone could think that this is a positive message to spread amongst their fans. Tila might not agree with the lifestyles that certain people have but that does not make her life any worthier than theirs. Unsurprisingly, considering her fundamentalist beliefs and the inappropriate way in which she chooses to share her beliefs, Tila’s mental health has been called into question. Hopefully, if she is in need of professional support, she will soon get the help she needs.

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meeedeee · 7 years

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Westworld: (De)Humanising the Other RSS FEED OF POST WRITTEN BY FOZMEADOWS

Warning: total spoilers for S1 of Westworld.

Trigger warning: talk of rape, sexual assault and queer death.

Note: Throughout this review, it will be necessary to distinguish between the writers of Westworld the TV show, and the writers employed in the narrative by the titular Westworld theme park. To avoid confusing the two, when I’m referring to the show, Westworld will be italicised; when referring to the park, I’ll use plain text.

This will be a somewhat bifurcated review of Westworld – which is, I feel, thematically appropriate, as Westworld itself is something of a bifurcated show. Like so much produced by HBO, it boasts incredible acting, breathtaking production values, intelligent dialogue, great music and an impeccably tight, well-orchestrated series of narrative reveals. Also like much produced by HBO, it takes a liberal, one might even say cartoonishly gratuitous approach to nudity, is saturated with violence in general and violence against women in particular, and has a consistent problem with stereotyping despite its diverse casting. In Westworld’s case, this latter issue is compounded as an offence by its status as a meta-narrative: a story which actively discusses the purpose and structure of stories, but which has seemingly failed to apply those same critiques to key aspects of its own construction.

The practical upshot is that it’s both frustratingly watchable and visibly frustrating. Even when the story pissed me off, I was always compelled to keep going, but I was never quite able to stop criticising it, either. It’s a thematically meaty show, packed with the kind of twists that will, by and large, enhance viewer enjoyment on repeat viewings rather than diminish the appeal. Though there are a few Fridge Logic moments, the whole thing hangs together quite elegantly – no mean feat, given the complexity of the plotting. And yet its virtues have the paradoxical effect of making me angrier about its vices, in much the same way that I’d be more upset about red wine spilled on an expensive party dress than on my favourite t-shirt. Yes, the shirt means more to me despite being cheaper, but a stain won’t stop me from wearing it at home, and even if it did, the item itself is easily replaced. But staining something precious and expensive is frustrating: I’ve invested enough in the cost of the item that I don’t want to toss it away, but staining makes it unsuitable as a showcase piece, which means I can’t love it as much as I want to, either.

You get where I’m going with this.

Right from the outset, Westworld switches between two interconnected narratives: the behind-the-scenes power struggles of the people who run the titular themepark, and the goings-on in the park itself as experienced by both customers and ‘hosts’, the humanoid robot-AIs who act as literal NPCs in pre-structured, pay-to-participate narratives. To the customers, Westworld functions as an immersive holiday-roleplay experience: though visually indistinguishable from real humans, the hosts are considered unreal, and are therefore fair game to any sort of violence, dismissal or sexual fantasy the customers can dream up. (This despite – or at times, because of – the fact that their stated ability to pass the Turing test means their reactions to said violations are viscerally animate.) To the programmers, managers, storytellers, engineers, butchers and behaviourists who run it, Westworld is, variously, a job, an experiment, a financial gamble, a risk, a sandpit and a microcosm of human nature: the hosts might look human, but however unsettling their appearance or behaviour at times, no one is ever allowed to forget what they are.

But to the hosts themselves, Westworld is entirely real, as are their pre-programmed identities. While their existence is ostensibly circumscribed by adherence to preordained narrative ‘loops’, the repetition of their every conversation, death and bodily reconstruction wiped from their memories by the park engineers, certain hosts – notably Dolores, the rancher’s daughter, and Maeve, the bordello madame – are starting to remember their histories. Struggling to understand their occasional eerie interviews with their puppeteering masters – explained away as dreams, on the rare occasion where such explanation is warranted – they fight to break free of their intended loops, with startling consequences.But there is also a hidden layer to Westworld: a maze sought by a mysterious Man in Black and to which the various hosts and their narratives are somehow key. With the hosts exhibiting abnormal behaviour, retaining memories of their former ‘lives’ in a violent, fragmented struggle towards true autonomy, freedom and sentience, Westworld poses a single, sharp question: what does it mean to be human?

Or rather, it’s clearly trying to pose this question; and to be fair, it very nearly succeeds. But for a series so overtly concerned with its own meta – it is, after all, a story about the construction, reception and impact of stories on those who consume and construct them – it has a damnable lack of insight into the particulars of its assumed audiences, both internal and external, and to the ways this hinders the proclaimed universality of its conclusions. Specifically: Westworld is a story in which all the internal storytellers are straight white men endowed with the traditional bigotries of racism, sexism and heteronormativity, but in a context where none of those biases are overtly addressed at any narrative level.

From the outset, it’s clear that Westworld is intended as a no-holds-barred fantasy in the literal sense: a place where the rich and privileged can pay through the nose to fuck, fight and fraternise in a facsimile of the old West without putting themselves at any real physical danger. Nobody there can die: customers, unlike hosts, can’t be killed (though they do risk harm in certain contexts), but each host body and character is nonetheless resurrected, rebuilt and put back into play after they meet their end. Knowing this lends the customers a recklessness and a violence they presumably lack in the real world: hosts are shot, stabbed, raped, assaulted and abused with impunity, because their disposable inhumanity is the point of the experience. This theme is echoed in their treatment by Westworld’s human overseers, who often refer to them as ‘it’ and perform their routine examinations, interviews, repairs and updates while the hosts are naked.

At this point in time, HBO is as well-known for its obsession with full frontal, frequently orgiastic nudity as it is for its total misapprehension of the distinction between nakedness and erotica. Never before has so much skin been shown outside of literal porn with so little instinct for sensuality, sexuality or any appreciation of the human form beyond hurr durr tiddies and, ever so occasionally, hurr durr dongs, and Westworld is no exception to this. It’s like the entirety of HBO is a fourteen-year-old straight boy who’s just discovered the nascent thrill of drawing Sharpie-graffiti genitals on every available schoolyard surface and can only snigger, unrepentant and gleeful, whenever anyone asks them not to. We get it, guys – humans have tits and asses, and you’ve figured out how to show us that! Huzzah for you! Now get the fuck over your pubescent creative wankphase and please, for the love of god, figure out how to do it tastefully, or at least with some general nodding in the direction of an aesthetic other than Things I Desperately Wanted To See As A Teengaer In The Days Before Internet Porn.

That being said, I will concede that there’s an actual, meaningful reason for at least some of Westworld’s ubiquitous nudity: it’s a deliberate, visual act of dehumanisation, one intended not only to distinguish the hosts from the ‘real’ people around them, but to remind the park’s human employees that there’s no need to treat the AIs with kindness or respect. For this reason, it also lends a powerful emphasis to the moments when particular characters opt to dress or cover the hosts, thereby acknowledging their personhood, however minimally. This does not, however, excuse the sadly requisite orgy scenes, nor does it justify the frankly obscene decision to have a white female character make a leering comment about the size of a black host’s penis, and especially not when said female character has already been established as queer. (Yes, bi/pan people exist; as I have good reason to know, being one of them. But there are about nine zillion ways the writers could’ve chosen to show Elsie’s sexual appreciation for men that didn’t tap into one of the single grossest sexual tropes on the books, let alone in a context which, given the host’s blank servility and Elsie’s status as an engineer, is unpleasantly evocative of master/slave dynamics.)

And on the topic of Elsie, let’s talk about queerness in Westworld, shall we? Because let’s be real: the bar for positive queer representation on TV is so fucking low right now, it’s basically at speedbump height, and yet myriad grown-ass adults are evidently hellbent on bellyflopping onto it with all the grace and nuance of a drunk walrus. Elsie is a queer white woman whose queerness is shown to us by her decision to kiss one of the female hosts, Clementine, who’s currently deployed as a prostitute, in a context where Clementine is reduced to a literal object, stripped of all consciousness and agency. Episode 6 ends on the cliffhanger of Elsie’s probable demise, and as soon as I saw that setup, I felt as if that single, non-consensual kiss – never referenced or expanded on otherwise – had been meant as Chekov’s gaykilling gun: this woman is queer, and thus is her death predicted. (Of course she fucking dies. Of course she does. I looked it up before I watched the next episode, but I might as well have Googled whether the sun sets in the west.)

It doesn’t help that the only other queer femininity we’re shown is either pornography as wallpaper or female host prostitutes hitting on female customers; and it especially doesn’t help that, as much as HBO loves its gratuitous orgy scenes, you’ll only ever see two naked women casually getting it on in the background, never two naked men. Nor does it escape notice that the lab tech with a penchant for fucking the hosts in sleep mode is apparently a queer man, a fact which is presented as a sort of narrative reveal. The first time he’s caught in the act, we only see the host’s legs, prone and still, under his body, but later there’s a whole sequence where he takes one of the male hosts, Hector – who is, not coincidentally, a MOC, singled out for sexual misuse by at least one other character – and prepares to rape him. (It’s not actually clear in context whether the tech is planning on fucking or being fucked by Hector – not that it’s any less a violation either way, of course; I’m noting it rather because the scene itself smacks of being constructed by people without any real idea of how penetrative sex between two men works. Like, ignoring the fact that they’re in a literal glass-walled room with the tech’s eyerolling colleague right next door, Hector is sitting upright on a chair, but is also flaccid and non-responsive by virtue of being in sleep mode. So even though we get a grimly lascivious close-up of the tech squirting lube on his hand, dropping his pants and, presumably, slicking himself up, it’s not actually clear what he’s hoping to achieve prior to the merciful moment when Hector wakes up and fights him the fuck off.)

Topping off this mess is Logan, a caustic, black-hat-playing customer who, in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it foursome with three host prostitutes – two female, one male – is visually implied to be queer, and who thereinafter functions, completely unnecessarily, as a depraved bisexual stereotype. And I do mean blink-and-you’ll-miss-it: I had to rewind the episode to make sure I wasn’t imagining things, but it’s definitely there, and as with Elsie kissing Clementine, it’s never referenced again. The male host is engaging only with Logan, stroking his chest as he kisses and fucks the two women; it’s about as unsexualised as sexual contact between two naked men can actually get, and yet HBO has gone to the trouble of including it, I suspect for the sole purpose of turning a bland, unoriginal character into an even grosser stereotype than he would otherwise have been while acting under the misapprehension that it would give him depth. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. Logan doesn’t cease to be a cocky, punchable asshat just because you consented to put a naked white dude next to him for less time than it takes to have a really good shit; it just suggests that you, too, are a cocky, punchable asshat who should shit more in the bathroom and less on the fucking page. But I digress.

And then there’s the racism, which – and there’s no other way to put this – is presented as being an actual, intentional feature of the Westworld experience, even though it makes zero commercial sense to do this. Like. You have multiple white hosts who are programmed to make racist remarks about particular POC hosts, despite the fact that there are demonstrably POC customers paying to visit the park. You have a consistent motif of Native Americans being referred to as ‘savages’, both within Westworld-as-game and by the gamewriters themselves, with Native American mysticism being used to explain both the accidental glimpses various self-aware hosts get of the gamerunners and the in-game lore surrounding the maze. Demonstrably, the writers of Westworld are aware of this – why else is Episode 2, wherein writer character Lee Sizemore gleefully proposes a hella racist new story for the park, called ‘Chestnut’, as in old? I’ve said elsewhere that depiction is not endorsement, but it is perpetuation, and in a context where the point of Westworld as a commercial venture is demonstrably to appeal to customers of all genders, sexual orientations and races – all of whom we see in attendance – building in particular period-appropriate bigotries is utterly nonsensical.

More than this, as the openness with which the female prostitutes seduce female customers makes clear, it’s narratively inconsistent: clearly, not every bias of the era is being rigidly upheld. And yet it also makes perfect sense if you think of both Westworld and Westworld as being, predominantly, a product both created by and intended for a straight white male imagination. In text, Westworld’s stories are written by Lee and Robert, both of whom are straight white men, while Westworld itself was originally the conceit of Michael Crichton. Which isn’t to diminish the creative input of the many other people who’ve worked on the show – technically, it’s a masterclass in acting, direction, composition, music, lighting, special effects and editing, and those people deserve their props. It’s just that, in terms of narrative structure, by what I suspect is an accidental marriage of misguided purpose and unexamined habit, Westworld the series, like Westworld the park, functions primarily for a straight white male audience – and while I don’t doubt that there was some intent to critically highlight the failings of that perspective, as per the clear and very satisfying satirising of Lee Sizemore, as with Zack Snyder’s Suckerpunch and Lev Grossman’s The Magicians, the straight white male gaze is still so embedded as a lazy default that Westworld ends up amplifying its biases more often than it critiques them. (To quote something my straight white husband said while watching, “It’s my gaze, and I feel like I’m being parodied by it.”)

Though we do, as mentioned, see various women and people of colour enjoying the Westworld park, the customers who actually serve as protagonists – Logan, William and the Man in Black – are all white men. Logan is queer by virtue of a single man’s hand on his chest, but other than enforcing a pernicious stereotype about bisexual appetites and behaviours, it doesn’t do a damn thing to alter his characterisation. The end of season reveal that William is the Man in Black – that William’s scenes have all taken place thirty years in the past, shown to us now through Dolores’s memories – is a cleverly executed twist, and yet the chronicle of William’s transformation from youthful, romantic idealist to violent, sadistic predator only highlights the fundamental problem, which is that the Westworld park, despite being touted as an adventure for everyone – despite Robert using his customers as a basis for making universal judgements about human nature – is clearly a more comfortable environment for some than others. Certainly, if I was able to afford the $40,000 a day we’re told it costs to attend, I’d be disinclined to spend so much for the privilege of watching male robots, whatever their courtesy to me, routinely talk about raping women, to say nothing of being forced to witness the callousness of other customers to the various hosts.

It should be obvious that there’s no such thing as a universal fantasy, and yet much of Westworld’s psychological theorising about human nature and morality hinges on our accepting that the desire to play cowboy in a transfigured version of the old West is exactly this. That the final episode provides tantalising evidence that at least one other park with a different historical theme exists elsewhere in the complex doesn’t change the fact that S1 has sold us, via the various monologues of Logan and Lee, Robert and William and the Man in Black, the idea that Westworld specifically reveals deep truths about human nature.

Which brings us to Dolores, a female host whose primary narrative loop centres on her being a sweet, optimistic rancher’s daughter who, with every game reset, can be either raped or rescued from rape by the customers. That Dolores is our primary female character – that her narrative trajectory centres on her burgeoning sentience, her awareness of the repeat violations she’s suffered, and her refusal to remain a damsel – does not change the fact that making her thus victimised was a choice at both the internal (Westworld) and external (Westworld) levels. I say again unto HBO, I do not fucking care how edgy you think threats of sexual violence and the repeat objectification of women are: they’re not original, they’re not compelling, and in this particular instance, what you’ve actually succeeded in doing is undermining your core premise so spectacularly that I do not understand how anyone acting in good sense or conscience could let it happen.

Because in making host women like Dolores (white) and Maeve (a WOC), both of whom are repeatedly subject to sexual and physical violation, your lynchpin characters for the development of true human sentience from AIs – in making their memories of those violations the thing that spurs their development – you’re not actually asking the audience to consider what it means to be human. You’re asking them to consider the prospect that victims of rape and assault aren’t actually human in the first place, and then to think about how being repeatedly raped and assaulted might help them to gain humanity. And you’re not even being subtle about it, either, because by the end of S1, the entire Calvinistic premise is laid clear: that Robert and Arnold, the park’s founders, believed that tragedy and suffering was the cornerstone of sentience, and that the only way for hosts to surpass their programming is through misery. Which implies, by logical corollary, that Robert is doing the hosts a service by allowing others to hurt them or by hurting them himself – that they are only able to protest his mistreatment because the very fact of it gave them sentience.

Let that sink in for a moment, because it’s pretty fucking awful. The moral dilemma of Westworld, inasmuch as it exists, centres on the question of knowing culpability, and therefore asks a certain cognitive dissonance of the audience: on the one hand, the engineers and customers believe that the hosts aren’t real people, such that hurting them is no more an immoral act than playing Dark Side in a Star Wars RPG is; on the other hand, from an audience perspective, the hosts are demonstrably real people, or at the very least potential people, and we are quite reasonably distressed to see them hurt. Thus: if the humans in setting can’t reasonably be expected to know that the hosts are people, then we the audience are meant to feel conflicted about judging them for their acts of abuse and dehumanisation while still rooting for the hosts.

Ignore, for a moment, the additional grossness of the fact that both Dolores and Maeve are prompted to develop sentience, and are then subsequently guided in its emergence, by men, as though they are Eves being made from Adam’s rib. Ignore, too, the fact that it’s Dolores’s host father who, overwhelmed by the realisation of what is routinely done to his daughter, passes that fledgling sentience to Dolores, a white woman, who in turn passes it to Maeve, a woman of colour, without which those other male characters – William, Felix, Robert – would have no Galateas to their respective Pygmalions. Ignore all this, and consider the basic fucking question of personhood: of what it means to engage with AIs you know can pass a Turing test, who feel pain and bleed and die and exhibit every human symptom of pain and terror and revulsion as the need arises, who can improvise speech and memory, but who can by design give little or no consent to whatever it is you do to them. Harming such a person is not the same as engaging with a video game; we already know it’s not for any number of reasons, which means we can reasonably expect the characters in the show to know so, too. But even if you want to dispute that point – and I’m frankly not interested in engaging with someone who does – it doesn’t change the fact that Westworld is trying to invest us in a moral false equivalence.

The problem with telling stories about robots developing sentience is that both the robots and their masters are rendered at an identical, fictional distance to the (real, human) viewer. By definition, an audience doesn’t have to believe that a character is literally real in order to care about them; we simply have to accept their humanisation within the narrative. That being so, asking viewers to accept the dehumanisation of one fictional, sentient group while accepting the humanisation of another only works if you’re playing to prejudices we already have in the real world – such as racism or sexism, for instance – and as such, it’s not a coincidence that the AIs we see violated over and over are, almost exclusively, women and POC, while those protagonists who abuse them are, almost exclusively, white men. Meaning, in essence, that any initial acceptance of the abuse of hosts that we’re meant to have – or, by the same token, any initial excusing of abusers – is predicated on an existing form of bigotry: collectively, we are as used to doubting the experiences and personhood of women and POC as we are used to assuming the best about straight white men, and Westworld fully exploits that fact to tell its story.

Which, as much as it infuriates me, also leaves me with a dilemma in interpreting the show. Because as much as I dislike seeing marginalised groups exploited and harmed, I can appreciate the importance of aligning a fictional axis of oppression (being a host) with an actual axis of oppression (being female and/or a POC). Too often, SFFnal narratives try to tackle that sort of Othering without casting any actual Others, co-opting the trappings of dehumanisation to enhance our sympathy for a (mostly white, mostly straight) cast. And certainly, by the season finale, the deliberateness of this decision is made powerfully clear: joined by hosts Hector and Armistice and aided by Felix, a lab tech, Maeve makes her escape from Westworld, presenting us with the glorious image of three POC and one white woman battling their way free of oppressive control. And yet the reveal of Robert’s ultimate plans – the inference that Maeve’s rebellion wasn’t her own choice after all, but merely his programming of her; the revelation that Bernard is both a host and a recreation of Arnold, Robert’s old partner; the merging of Dolores’s arc with Wyatt’s – simultaneously serves to strip these characters of any true agency. Everything they’ve done has been at Robert’s whim; everything they’ve suffered has been because he wanted it so. As per the ubiquitous motif of the player piano, even when playing unexpected tunes, the hosts remain Robert’s instruments: even with his death, the songs they sing are his.

Westworld, then, is a study in contradictions, and yet is no contradiction at all. Though providing a stunning showcase for the acting talents of Thandie Newton, Evan Rachel Wood and Jeffrey Wright in particular, their characters are nonetheless all controlled by Anthony Hopkins’s genial-creepy Robert, and that doesn’t really change throughout the season. Though the tropes of old West narratives are plainly up for discussion, any wider discussion of stereotyping is as likely to have a lampshade hung on it as to be absent altogether, and that’s definitely a problem. Not being familiar with the Michael Crichton film and TV show, I can’t pass judgement on the extent to which this new adaptation draws from or surpasses the source material. I can, however, observe that the original film dates to the 1970s, which possibly goes some way to explaining the uncritical straight white male gazieness embedded in the premise. Even so, there’s something strikingly reminiscent of Joss Whedon to this permutation of Westworld, and I don’t mean that as a compliment. The combination of a technologically updated old West, intended to stand as both a literal and metaphoric frontier, the genre-aware meta-narrative that nonetheless perpetuates more stereotypes than it subverts, and the supposed moral dilemma of abusing those who can’t consent feels at times like a mashup of Firefly, Cabin in the Woods and Dollhouse that has staunchly failed to improve on Whedon’s many intersectional failings.

And yet, I suspect, I’ll still be poking my nose into Season 2, if only to see how Thandie Newton is doing. It feels like an absurdly low bar to say that, compared to most of HBO’s popular content, Westworld is more tell than show in portraying sexual violence, preferring to focus on the emotional lead-in and aftermath rather than the act itself, and yet that small consideration does ratchet the proverbial dial down a smidge when watching it – enough so that I’m prepared to say it’s vastly less offensive in that respect than, say, Game of Thrones. But it’s still there, still a fundamental part of the plot, and that’s going to be a not unreasonable dealbreaker for a lot of people; as is the fact that the only queer female character dies. Westworld certainly makes compelling television, but unlike the human protagonists, I wouldn’t want to live there.

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misswsposts · 7 years

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You are always more important...

You Are Always More Important

“What concept, what belief, what rule can make people see what they don’t want to see? As long as other people’s pain is less important than your own issues.” - Meltem Arikan, Enough is Enough.

I am a performer currently working on a theatre production, a piece of “artivism” called Enough Is Enough. It is a feminist piece shouting out about patriarchy and violence against women and children. It’s a powerful, thought-provoking piece with important points and a strong statement and it’s a remarkably rewarding experience to be a part of it.

I am also an ethical vegan and can’t help but notice parallels between the abuse of women and children with animal abuse. I don’t need to tell you about how the meat and dairy industries breed animals solely for our consumption, genetically modify them to have unnatural, painful defects which make them tastier and commercially viable, enslave them in pens, cages and sheds, violate their sexual organs on “rape racks” (it’s an industry term), steal their babies, murder them, chop them up, rip feathers from their living bodies, peel off their skin while they’re conscious. I don’t need to go into details because WE ALL KNOW what goes on. Everybody who eats a kebab or drinks a glass of milk knows how it got from the animal to their stomach. Why then, when we are all aware of it, do we continue to allow it? Because you are always more important, that’s why. Society has brainwashed the vast majority into believing its acceptable behaviour. People truly believe that because they enjoy the taste of bacon or cheese, it is worth sacrificing the comfort and entire life of another being. It’s worth someone losing his or her ENTIRE life, the only thing they possess, for a brief minute on your lips and a few hours of tummy fulfilment. We turn a blind eye to the abuse because it’s so inherent and normalised in our society. Smiling cartoon chickens and cows laugh at us from TV screens and billboards. “EAT ME” they dare us. But we all know, it’s not the animals themselves challenging us to savour their flesh, it’s their masters, humans. There’s another parallel here. When we see a woman in her underwear advertising a product on television or on a billboard, she has been placed there by a man, daring the audience to consume her with their eyes. Feminists call them up on the exploitation, the male gaze is criticised, all the while, the hypocrites are tucking into sushi made from a fish who has been traumatised, murdered and stolen from its environment through no fault of its own.

But why is it OK to treat animals as subservient creatures we can dominate? Surely women can identify with them? The feeling of helplessness, being controlled, having no voice in a world created for them by others who are not like them. We justify it by saying animals are less intelligent than us, they lack reasoning and understanding. But how much intellect does one need to feel pain? It’s a basic feeling shared by all animals and some plants. Anybody who’s stepped on a dog’s foot will be familiar with the bloodcurdling yelp that follows. We’ve all seen a cat head for the warmest, most comfortable area of the living room. But cats and dogs have a special kind of relationship with humans. They are members of our family. We curse those who mistreat pets, yet all the while, we are shovelling a once living, breathing pig between our teeth. If we are using intelligence as a gauge, it’s misguided. Pigs have been proved to be more intelligent than dogs, and as intelligent as a three-year old human. The argument for intelligence doesn’t stand up, otherwise we’d be enjoying roast toddler of a Sunday.

The real reason is speciesism. Another “ism” alongside racism, sexism, ageism, and all the other words which describe discrimination. It’s the last taboo but is just as relevant. Numbers-wise it effects more beings in our shared world than any of the other “isms”. In the early days of feminism and the civil rights movement, people mocked activists fighting for change. People were blinded by the system and comfortable with how things were. They couldn’t see the point of fighting for change, at least those people who weren’t suffering couldn’t. But the difference is that the victims had voices and the ability to fight against their oppressors. Their movements gathered momentum from those who were once complacent and they continue fighting to this day. But animals don’t have voices, or at least not ones able to communicate with humans. Their screams, yelps and cries are never in adverts. They are silenced, yet they exist. Animals are unable to unite and stand together, form unions, create Facebook groups. They’re the most vulnerable inhabitants on our planet. It’s for this reason I and others are speaking out for them, and yes, our cause is gathering momentum.

Animals breathe, feel pain, seek warmth, shit, have sex, shiver, feel fear, run away from or fight threatening behaviour, sigh, yawn, eat, drink and fuck, just as we do. How are they really different from us on a basic level? Why do we not give them the same respect we give other humans? Because they look, and think differently? Women look and feel differently to men, children look and think differently to adults. We wouldn’t tolerate that as a reason to abuse women and children so why do we tolerate it for animals? I can’t see the logic behind the justification of animal abuse.

I’m surrounded by animal exploitation and have realised that like the women featured in the play, I too am part of the system. I hear jokes about meat and veganism, and rather than shout out about it, for the most part I stay silent. Compliant. Because I don't want to appear difficult or have my outgoing, fun reputation tarnished. I am more important. I now see I’m no better than the mothers who let their husbands abuse their children for an easy life. I’m no better than women who brush off the banter which oppresses them. Why? Because veganism is still a taboo. If a bandmate had brought back a 12 year old girl to our digs to sleep with, the rest of us would speak out, yet I watch people drink the juice from a raped female cow who has had her most precious child stolen from her and I stay silent. Dairy cows are voiceless females and I am a feminist who is not standing up for them. I am not taking part in the abuse personally but I am doing little to stop it. I remember the works of Edmund Burke, ”The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." I am angry with myself, but feel helpless at the same time.

Animal rights activists are painted as weirdos or extremists. But what is extreme about eating a plant-based diet and feeling compassion for and empathy with the oppressed? How is it more extreme to choose to eat an avocado for breakfast than somebody’s legs? I’m not even getting started on the environmental impact of meat and dairy. I choose a cruelty-free diet because the choice is there. Even in the smallest towns and villages I’ve found plant-based foods. I have the privilege of choice, unlike animals. They don’t choose to be born into an unjust society. When people “choose” to eat meat, they do not like to think their choices have a victim behind them, but they do. Choices should not have victims.

Peers often pity me for not eating the tasty cake or rack of ribs they are enjoying, but believe me, I do not feel hard done by. I only have to think of the poor creatures who’ve suffered to end up in your hands and any feelings for myself go out the window. How can I feel bad about missing out on tasting chicken soup when those chickens missed out on happiness, comfort and life itself?

Discrimination of all forms should be fought and challenged, whether it's the rights of women, children, religious groups or animals. The first step is getting people to see their actions are harming others and have an effect. People need to open their eyes to new ideas, be open to criticism and more flexible in their way of thinking, but it's difficult when society has been hard-wired to be a certain way and when those in power don't share the same ideals. I truly believe there will be a point in the future when people will look back on our society's treatment of animals and view us the way as we view slave drivers during the years of the Transatlantic Slave Trade or the Nazis during the Holocaust, but in the meantime and to reach that stage, we must be non-compliant, continue to shout out and share the real life stories of all victims to incite positive change from the bottom up.

#veganism #animal rights

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familycourtcorruption · 4 years

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Narcissists Are Predictable! 10 Things All Narcissists Say

Narcissists would like to think that they are unique. But they’re not.

It’s astounding how narcissists say the same things and it’s actually FREAKY!

In this Thriver TV episode I share with you how virtually all narcissists behave in certain situations, how they will react, and the exact (or close enough) words that commonly come out of their mouths.

I also explain what you can do to not be affected by this ridiculousness!

Video Transcript

I remember over a decade ago, when I started reaching out to people about my narcissistic abuse experience, people commonly said, “That’s exactly what the narcissist said to me too!”

Narcissists would like to think that they are unique. But they’re not.

They are in fact incredibly predictable, and that’s what I want to share with you today – how virtually every narcissist will behave almost identically, in the following situations.

So, watch on to find out how they do!

Okay, so before we get started, I would just like to say that I am extremely excited to share with you that I have released my next Free Masterclass, which is coming up in only a few days.

After watching this video, you will know just how this Masterclass can help you regarding getting clear and healing from narcissistic abuse, which you may not have been able to achieve before taking this free class.

You can register for this Quantum Healing Event by clicking this link.

Now, let’s get into this juicy topic for today, regarding the ten things that virtually all narcissists say.

#1 When Asked For Your Needs To Be Met

“It’s always all about you!”

When trying to negotiate with the narcissist, a lot of what you’re asking for is just common decent behaviour.

You are not asking for the narcissist to fly to the moon for you.

As examples, if you asked to be spoken to nicely, or to be allowed to know the narcissist’s plans and how they may affect you (simple human requests) the narcissist will take umbrage and tell you how unreasonable, and even selfish, this is.

This is where you can feel like you are going crazy, trying to get a child in an adult’s body to understand that a healthy relationship requires care and consideration for one another.

The narcissist simply does not get this, even about basic things, let alone the extreme bad behaviour that he or she does act out.

When you heal for real from narcissistic abuse, I promise you that you will deeply embody that it is healthy for you to speak up for what you need, and know that you deserve to have your needs heard and met by another healthy adult.

And, you will never accept less than this again.

#2 When You Are Leaving Them

“You will never find anybody like me!”

Other variations to this expression are, “You will never find anybody who loves you as much as I do” and “You know that you can’t live without me.”

It’s not until we heal that we realise how ludicrous this really is – we don’t want to ever find anybody like them again and live the torturous life that we’ve been having!

Yet, when you are still emotionally enmeshed with the narcissist, one of their greatest tactics to keep you hooked as supply is to make you feel dependent and helpless without them.

It’s about having you believe that your life going forward on your own will be one of terrible loss.

I promise you that when you go through your Thriver Healing process, you will discover that this is totally not the case! Rather, you will be thrilled that you are free, and you’ve left all of this pain, confusion, and abuse behind.

And you will become self-generative – meaning happy, confident and whole in your own skin.

#3 When Being Confronted

“Here we go again!” (Accompanied with a sarcastic eye roll).

Other variations of this one are, “You are crazy” and “You are the only person I ever have this trouble with.”

This is invalidation at its finest. This is how the narcissist can make you start to doubt your own sanity and believe that there is something wrong with you.

Invalidation of your feelings and being unwilling to meet you and talk about what concerns you is painful enough, yet narcissistic abuse takes this to another level.

Narcissists know how to not just invalidate you, but to also demean your character and sanity at the same time.

It’s little wonder that so many people feel like it must be their fault and suffer terrible assaults on their self-esteem and personal identity.

I really want you to know that my Thriver Healing process, that is the NARP Program, transforms you to a wholeness and self-validation which means you will no longer try to get understanding from somebody who refuses to give it to you.

Rather, if you have confronted somebody deficient in resources to be humble, real and to engage in healthy communication with you, and they are unable to, then you will disengage, move on and create healthy relationships with those who can.

#4 When Treating You Horribly

“But I love you!”

When this happens it feels so crazy, because it could be said when the narcissist is telling you all the things that are wrong with you.

Or whilst the narcissist is telling you that he or she is going to leave you.

It could even be said to you amongst the most horrendous insults, name-calling, and so much worse.

As many people discover, these words hold very little weight when the actions simply don’t match them. Additionally, the narcissist is capable of horrific discards and even replacing you with fresh and new supply at a moment’s notice.

Of course, someone who really loves you doesn’t behave like this!

This I can assure you, after going through your true recovery from the inside out, you will know what real love is. No longer will you be emotionally dismayed that somebody does not have the resources to love you genuinely. This is because you now have solid and real authentic love already going on within yourself.

This is an absolute truth that we discover after Thriver Recovery – you will never accept a level of love below the level that you have been able to establish in your self-partnering with yourself.

You will no longer agonise about someone’s lack of capacity to love you. It’s just not a match for who you are now.

This is when real love that is genuine and wholesome can and will come into your life.

#5 When Confronted For Adulterous Behaviour

“You have jealousy issues!”

Generally, the narcissist will start attacking you with counter-accusations if you are getting close to catching them out.

The narcissist is totally invested into proving that you are wrong, and they are above reproach.

He or she does this by trying to get you to doubt yourself and start to believe that maybe you are insecure and don’t have a right to believe or think the things that you do.

After healing yourself into being a whole and empowered individual, you will know what you do and don’t deserve in your life. You will be willing to take a stand to lose it all to get it all, meaning that unless there is proof there is no truth.

And if there is no truth then you move away, heal and start to generate healthy, trustworthy and genuine relationships instead of ones filled with deception and betrayal.

#6 When You Want Accountability

“You are damaged from your past!”

If you ask the narcissist for clarification, he or she is likely to tell you that you have trust issues as a result of the problems that you’ve experienced in your past. And of course, the narcissist purports that this has nothing to do with his or her behaviour now.

Many of us, who have been narcissistically abused, are good people who take personal responsibility. It is very usual for people like us to try to fix ourselves to try to make our relationships better.

The narcissist may capitalise on this, especially if we don’t know how to create healthy boundaries, honour ourselves and leave if these boundaries are not respected.

This I can assure you, whilst healing from narcissistic abuse with NARP (the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program), you will know that your boundaries and truth reside in the present. You will also know that the past has absolutely nothing to do with you knowing your values and your rights today.

NARP grants you the potential to never be derailed again from stating and knowing what your boundaries are with a narcissistic individual.

#7 When Using Circular Arguments

“Stop raising your voice!”

Another version of this is, “I’m not talking to you until you speak to me respectfully!”

Narcissists have all sorts of nasty tools in their arsenal to make you feel like your head is spinning in an argument with them. They refuse to stay on topic and use all sorts of defensive comments and nasty projections that are so violating, that it is usual for you to lose all emotional stability.

Then, when you get triggered and angry, the narcissist goes from bait to switch and turns it all back on you.

Those of us who have been abused by narcissists know exactly how epically maddening this is.

During Thriver Recovery, you go through a powerful evolution where you know how to stay only on the topic and refuse to go down rabbit holes with the narcissist (which is where he or she loves to take you).

Then, if the narcissist won’t comply, you detach, detox from him or her and take what is necessary to the next level. When you know how to no longer be triggered and have your facts straight and in line, it is far easier to defeat the narcissist than you might think.

#8 When Gaslighting You

“They know who you are!”

The narcissist will tell you how selfish, immoral and nasty your character is and how other people have found you out and are even talking about your defectiveness behind your back.

This is the narcissist projecting his or her disowned inner parts onto you and making out that these disordered things are coming from you.

Because you do have a good character, it is beyond devastating to be accused of things that are not what you do and also frustratingly know that they are actually how the narcissist behaves.

After healing for real from narcissistic abuse, you will no longer get hooked in by this.

Because you are now totally comfortable in knowing who you are, and are no longer attached to what other people do or don’t think about you. You know that the people who are meant to be in your life will know you for who you really are, and the ones that don’t are totally entitled to their opinion.

It’s not important what other people think about you. It’s important what you think about you.

#9 When Breaking Promises

“Just because I didn’t do what you wanted when you wanted it.”

Narcissists don’t like to comply. They have no desire to be a team player or do things for you that would make you happy (unless there is an agenda attached).

It’s much more preferable to the narcissist to use promises to manipulate you, to get what they want, and to let you down and hurt you when he or she wants to lash out and punish you.

Then the narcissist will twist it all back on you and make it your fault, telling you that your expectations are unreasonable.

During your Thriver Recovery, statements like this will no longer affect you. You will know that they are utter lunacy because real healthy people not only want to commune, care and assist those they love, they also have the emotional resources to do so.

#10 When Abusing You

“You make me behave like this!”

This is the classic narcissistic way of not taking responsibility for horrible behaviour and blaming you for it.

If you believe it, you will try to change your reactions and responses to have a better relationship with the narcissist. However, you will discover that none of this works; the narcissist will still behave terribly regardless of what you try to amend or do differently.

As a result of healing from the inside out with NARP, you will no longer be scapegoated for someone else’s disgraceful and abusive behaviour. Never again will you take responsibility for it. Rather you will leave, heal yourself back to wholeness, and enter and maintain relationships with people who would never have the capacity to behave like this.

Healing From All Of This!

It is eerily freaky how narcissists say the same things!

You may wonder how this is possible. Really, this is simply the product of a disordered Inner Self who refuses to take personal responsibility and suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Until we know better, of course we argue with this behaviour and try to sort it out to make this person see sense and behave decently.

But to no avail!

I hope you can understand that these types of behaviours are narcissistic defence mechanisms that can’t be reasoned with.

This is why you have to find another way, a way that works.

To explain in detail what I have been touching on in this video, I have just opened up my next Free Masterclass where we go through exactly how to create your true Thriver Recovery.

I will show you how it’s done.

So, come join my next Free Masterclass by clicking this link.

Also please share this video with others who you know are suffering from the insanity of narcissistic abuse.

And as always, I look forward to answering your questions and your comments below.