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bleachification · 1 year

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a platonic paradox

pairing: grimmjow x reader

warnings: swearing lol thats it

summary: He loves me... he loves me not… he loves me... he... is an emotionally constipated Arrancar with less than desirable social skills and a pension for jealousy. What could possibly go wrong?

One… two… three… four… five shots later, and reality finally starts to blur at the edges. Fuzzier and fuzzier, the strobe lights turn as they cut across blackened space, glowing in feverish haste.

Maybe drinking on an empty stomach isn’t the greatest of your ideas, but no one’s coined you as a genius thus far, and you certainly never claimed to be one. Plus, you have a valid reason for knocking back a row of tequila: men. Or, more specifically, one man who goes by the name Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez—the bane of your existence and one of your closest friends. However, friend is a term you use very loosely after the earlier fight.

The mere thought of him incites another scowl from you… and a sixth shot that slides down your throat like oil in a car—smooth and familiar.

You feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to face the person on your left—a head of ginger pops into view, only to be pushed aside by a tiny girl with an irritated yet concerned expression pasted onto her delicate features. Inoue only smiles as Rukia takes her spot next to you and inspects the row of shot glasses on the booth table in front of you.

“You need to stop,” Rukia demands.

You barely register her words over the thumping bass of the speakers. The club is a swarm of warm bodies, alcohol, pulsing lights, and wall-shaking music. Through the haze and humidity, you make out the DJ standing at the south end of the venue, directly opposite your booth.

“You worry too much.” You wave your hand, dismissing Rukia.

She tries prying the drink you just ordered from your hands but fails miserably.

“For good reason! We’re going to have to carry you home at this rate.”

Orihime pats Rukia on the shoulder in a calming manner. It doesn’t quite work, but she tries anyway. Ever the pacifist.

“I think Rukia’s trying to say that we’re worried about you. What exactly happened?”

Ichigo appears from the crowd and slides in next to his fiancé, beer in hand. “Yeah, what’s going on? You called us out without explanation and started drinking like you were on a personal mission to destroy your liver.”

“I can handle my liquor.” You roll your eyes at your friends’ questioning looks.

“Y/N,” Orihime presses.

You groan. “Fine! Fine.”

They all wait expectantly as you down another drink. Every shot turns the world one degree mistier.

“Grimmjow and I got into a fight,” you grit out. The words taste like gravel on your tongue.

The three of them exchange a look.

You frown. “What?”

“It’s just… isn’t that pretty common?” Ichigo asks.

“No. We argue, sure, but today he… went too far. He was being an asshole—more so than usual. You’d think he’d be nicer to the person who acclimated him to human society. Stupid overgrown cat,” you huff.

“What did he say?” Ichigo takes a swig of his beer.

You pause. The whole argument that led to this moment was dumb. So dumb that you can’t even remember what instigated it. All you recall is the hurt washing over you at the end—a vile, sickening sensation that festered like rot in your chest because of the words Grimmjow bit out right before you walked out the door: You’re nothing special.

In hindsight, what he said wasn’t even that awful. Yet it shredded you the moment it left his lips. Perhaps you took it so hard because you thought you were special to him—in the same way he is to you. The irritating reality is Grimmjow has grown to become one of your closest confidantes. Your best friend. To be cast aside like that… to mean nothing of importance to him… is a harsh and gutting revelation—one that sets fire to your throat and incinerates whatever affection you had left for him to absolute ash.

“Nothing of importance,” you mutter.

The others don’t pry any further, sensing you no longer want to talk about it. They’d be right; you don’t want to talk about it… you don’t even want to think about it, especially since the earlier alcohol-induced buzz has now morphed into full-on drunk goggles.

“I’m gonna go dance.” You’re already halfway across the dance floor before Rukia scrambles to catch up with you.

Orihime slides her attention over to her fiancé. “Uh. Kurosaki?”

Ichigo dials a number into his phone and brings it to his ear. “Already on it.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It is 1:58 am, and Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez has never been more miserable in his entire life. Not when he was a mindless hollow, not even when he lost to Ichigo—that orange-haired freak of nature.

No. The almighty former Espada has been reduced to a mopey mess by a mere human. And an annoying one at that.

It’s been almost five hours since Grimmjow last heard from you. Four of them he’s spent trying to convince himself you’d come back soon like you always do—with that gentle smile on your face that he’s grown disgustingly accustomed to.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Grimmjow clenches the phone in his hand and his arm jerks—almost chucking the device at the insufferable clock ticking in the corner. It is a constant reminder that you haven’t returned to him. He only stops himself from throwing the phone once he remembers how much the hunk of metal had cost him.

Stupid human inventions.

If it weren’t for the need to constantly message and call you about, well… anything really, Grimmjow would never have spent a cent on the damned thing.

The phone clatters onto the coffee table as Grimmjow resumes his prior (pitiful) position on the couch: flat on his stomach, face down, and legs draped over the edge.

Grimmjow frowns—pouts—into the cushions. Twenty minutes pass. Then thirty. Finally, a vibration cuts through the air.

Someone’s calling him.

Grimmjow jerks up and unceremoniously falls off the couch in haste to check the notification. His high hopes are immediately dashed when a familiar contact name comes into view: Prick. His shoulders slump, and he lets it ring a couple of times before lazily thumbing the screen to answer the call.

“The hell do you want?”

“Are you busy?” Ichigo’s voice is barely perceptible amidst the deafening music blaring through the phone’s speakers.

Grimmjow grimaces, pulling his ear away from the phone, then glances at the coffee table in front of him. A half-melted tub of chocolate ice cream stares back, a mocking reminder of his dramatics grief. Just above the sugary mess sits a large-screen TV—one currently playing a series of films that fit perfectly under the “romantic comedy” genre.

Grimmjow turns around and faces away from the scene. Out of sight, out of mind.

“Who do you think I am? Of course, I’m fucking busy.”

“Right… guess I’ll get Y/N home by mys—“

With keys in hand, Grimmjow is already headed out the door when he gruffly cuts Ichigo off. “Address. Now.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Tall, dark, and handsome wraps an arm around your waist as you sway to the suggestive beat.

Rukia’s long gone. You lost sight of her when the crowd drew you further into the dance floor. You don’t particularly care where the shinigami went—probably back to the booth—as the alcoholic haze clouding your mind bars you from focusing on anything but the gorgeous man next to you. He leans in, clearly interested in something other than dancing, but still asks: “Would you like to dance?”

You study his features. Short black hair sweeps over honey-brown eyes that are shadowed by long lashes. He smirks, showing off a dimple on his left cheek. He’s a looker, for sure.

Not bad at all, but nowhere near Grimmjow.

The thought jolts you. Grimmjow has nothing to do with the person beside you. So why is it that every passing second serves as a reminder of him?

You shake those useless thoughts away and plaster a lazy smile on your face. You pull the stranger towards you and wrap your arms around his neck as you move to the beat. He presses up against you, forehead on yours. His lips are millimetres from yours, and his lidded gaze glitters with desire. You welcome it.

For once, you’re lost to the dizzying heat and drunken thrills of the night, and you’re ready to get lost in the arms of a stranger—someone who, hopefully, will distract you from the man plaguing every dark corner of your mind.

A tilt of the chin brings you closer to him. He leans in, and you close your eyes, ready for a welcome distraction. But before your lips can meet, the man across from you is harshly yanked back, and a flurry of familiar voices bombards you from all directions.

You blink twice, trying to take in the scene before you.

Firstly, Grimmjow is here. He’s clutching so tightly onto your poor dance partner’s shoulder that it’s a miracle his collarbone hasn’t shattered. The guy looks terrified… and for a good reason. Grimmjow is pissed. Hell, even that would be an understatement. An air of rage so heavy you almost mistake it for spiritual pressure ripples off him in waves. His normally cavalier expression is distorted. Gone are his usual smirks or annoyed scowls. In their place sits a mask of absolute crazed, seething fury. If looks could kill, this whole club would be home to a mountain of corpses by now.

Secondly, the shouts you hear originate from Ichigo and the two girls; all three are trying to push through the crowd to make it to you and the blue-haired psychopath before you. Thanks to the dark atmosphere, overbearing music, and the fact you’re all in an isolated corner of the club, no one else seems to notice the complete disaster unfolding before your eyes.

Ichigo breaks through the sea of people and immediately hooks his arms under Grimmjow’s. It takes almost all his strength to drag the Arrancar back a metre or two.

Ichigo struggles to keep Grimmjow at bay. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I’ll kill you after I get my hands on him. Fucking let go!” Grimmjow pulls free from Ichigo’s grasp and steps toward the other man.

That split second snaps you to attention, and you run to block him. In less than a second, you’re in front of the other guy and facing a murderous Grimmjow; arms spread out in a protective stance. You wobble a bit and curse yourself for getting this inebriated.

Grimmjow freezes. The look in his eyes—a strange mixture of annoyance, hurt, and unfathomable anger—makes you uneasy.

“What, pray tell, are you doing?” You mentally high-five yourself for not slurring your words. It isn’t easy in your current state.

Grimmjow scoffs. “You’re actually protecting this guy?”

Said guy peeps up with: “Look, I’m sorry. Didn’t realize you had a partner.”

You turn to him and scrunch your nose. “I am not his partner.”

Grimmjow makes a snarling sound behind you.

You whip back towards him. “And you. Are you insane?! Why the hell would you do that?”

Grimmjow shifts closer. You have to tilt your head up to glare at him. His breath fans your face as he answers.

“He put his hands on you. You think I’m just gonna let that shit slide?” He’s speaking low. Rough. Dangerous.

You open your mouth to retort, only to find yourself dangling upside down from Grimmjow’s shoulder. He just hauled you up like a sack of flour.

This bastard.

As if on instinct, you immediately start wiggling in his grasp and thumping on his back, yelling at him to put you down. The struggling only drives him to tighten his hold on you as he marches the two of you out the club doors.

“Keep doing that, and I’ll drop you.”

Bastard move.

“Put me down!” You let out a yell in irritation. Grimmjow pretends not to hear you.

From your peripheral vision, you catch sight of Rukia, followed by the other two, scrambling to catch up. Orihime apologizes profusely to the bouncer at the door for the commotion caused by the man carrying you.

“Ichigo, help!”

Ichigo only shakes his head in disappointment as Grimmjow increases his pace.

Traitor.

Maybe it’s the liquid courage. Or perhaps it’s because you’ve finally lost it, but you raise a hand and land a hard smack on Grimmjow’s ass.

He stiffens. “What the f-“

“I’ll do it again if you don’t put me down this instant, you goddamn psychopath,” you warn.

Instead of complying, he shifts you until you’re being carried in his arms bridal-style. He just cut off your accessibility to his ass. Although you can’t ponder that disappointment for too long, the realization of what he’s about to do dawns on you when he takes a slow step backward.

“Grimmjow, don’t you dare-“Your own shriek cuts you off as he rips through the air and propels you toward the sky. You can only tighten your hold on his neck and bury your face in his shoulder as biting winds whip around you at the speed of light. Despite the cool night air, Grimmjow is warm to the touch. In less than five seconds, you’re staring at the front door of his apartment.

The son of a bitch just sonido-ed you across the city.

Grimmjow finally puts you down as he fishes the keys from his pocket. The whole time he hasn’t said a single word to you.

“Why are we here?” You reluctantly follow him into the familiar unit.

He has his back turned to you. Broad shoulders hunch over as he removes his shoes. Three seconds later, he flops onto the couch while running a hand down his face, quietly letting out a sigh of exhaustion and a hint of something else.

You sit in the spot next to him and pull your legs up. You shift until you’re facing him and only inches away.

You poke him in the stomach. It’s a habit you have that Grimmjow complains about constantly, but he never actually takes any action to stop it.

“Hey. Answers. Now,” you interrogate.

He lazily peeks at you; head still lolled back on the back of the couch. Grimmjow moves and his shifting weight causes you to dip forward. Typically, you’d be able to straighten yourself up. However, drunk you has precisely zero sense of balance, so you topple right into Grimmjow’s lap.

Grimmjow almost jumps out of his skin at the unexpected contact. You feel your cheeks flame up in embarrassment as you try to push yourself back up, only to lose your balance again and fall back against him. Your face presses up against his stomach, and the heat clouds all your senses. You feel even drunker than before.

“For fucks sake.” Tired of your struggling, Grimmjow pulls you up until you’re sat in his lap and face-to-face with him. You try to ignore the fact that you’re basically straddling him. You really try to ignore his hands resting on the side of your thighs. The contact causes something within you to flare up—an unsettling feeling you push away to the furthest corner of your mind.

“Well, this is nice. We’ve reached a new level of friendship now,” you snort. Thankfully, your stable tone doesn’t betray your wavering nerves.

Grimmjow’s jaw tenses. “Right. Friendship.”

You almost reel back. He spits that last part out like it is laced with poison. A sting of disappointment shoots through you, and you move to get off him. Right now, you want to be as far away from him as possible in fear of Grimmjow seeing the tears that have begun to prick the back of your eyes.

If he hates being your friend that badly, then there’s no way he’d ever reciprocate…

“Hey. You crying?”

To your surprise, Grimmjow grabs you by the hips and pulls you back, caging his huge arms around you to prevent you from escaping. His eyebrows furrow as he leans in to examine your face. You muster up every ounce of willpower to suck the tears back into the confines of your eyelids.

“You look like a bug,” Grimmjow murmurs.

You pinch his cheek with a scowl, mind briefly wiped of your previous grievances.

“Bastard.”

He doesn’t even flinch. “You stopped crying.”

“I never started,” you retort.

He makes a noncommittal noise.

“What?”

He grunts, eyes still fixated on your own. “Trying to figure out why you ran away.”

You gape at him. He has to be kidding. Right?

“Okay, first of all, I did not run away; I left because you pissed me off. Second of all, are you serious?

Your exasperation only fuels his confusion. Grimmjow’s face scrunches, and he tilts his head only slightly, but enough to emphasize how baffled he is by this whole situation.

You falter. This whole night you have agonized over his words, never once considering that he may not find fault in what he said. Maybe he never intended to hurt you and only meant to state a fact: that you simply don’t mean anything special to him.

Do you occupy such a minuscule part of his heart? Given that he takes up all the space you have to offer in yours, it is an unnecessarily cruel twist of fate.

You steel yourself. Grimmjow is your friend. Nothing less… and certainly nothing more. He has drawn that line very clearly—in bright, irreversible red.

“Forget it. It’s nothing,” you murmur.

He shoots you a look; he doesn’t believe you. “Oi. Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying,” you insist.

His eyes narrow, and he slowly drawls your name. Irritation coats the word like honey as he presses you for a different answer.

With a shake of your head, you cement your refusal to budge. Nothing good could come from that conversation, and you would rather suffer in silence than lose Grimmjow as a friend—which is the only outcome you can fathom.

“I… it doesn’t matter. Not like you’d care.” The last part is practically inaudible to the human ear. Unfortunately for you, Grimmjow’s senses are anything but human.

He stiffens, looking like he’d just been slapped hard. “What the fuck are you on about? Who told you that? I’ll kill ‘em.”

“No one told me Grimmjow… no one other than you, at least. It’s obvious you don’t care to be friends anymore,” you scoff and look away, too anxious to meet his eyes.

Every single muscle of Grimmjow’s goes rigid. You sneak a glance at him and pause at the storm brewing in his gaze. Tides of emotions threaten to overwhelm one another, but at the forefront of the tumultuous battle flashes an intensity you are very familiar with: desperation.

Grimmjow tips his chin down, lessening the gap between your faces… and lips. What comes out of his mouth next scarcely breaks above a whisper, but the words themselves bear a threatening weight.

“Obvious to who? Because last time I checked, you’re the only human I ever speak to willingly, the only person whose touch I don’t find repulsive, and the only one who can mouth off to me in my own damn house and not die for it. So tell me, Y/N, who is that obvious to? Because it sure as hell ain’t me,” he snarls.

You blink. That sobers you up. Any and all words dying in your throat as you take in everything. You only manage to find your voice again after a minute of deliberation.

“Then why did you say that I wasn’t special? You’re giving me mixed signals here,” you whisper.

Realization dawns on him like an iron curtain as your response dwindles in the hushed air. He shifts again. This time, switching his grip on your thigh to the curve of your waist. His hands settle firmly, yet gently, on your side, and the warmth resonates through your bloodstream, making it increasingly difficult to focus on the present situation. You try anyway.

“Is that why you ran away?”

You roll your eyes. “I didn't run.”

He shrugs. “My bad. Is that why you abandoned me?”

For a split second, Grimmjow’s sulking reminds you of a kicked puppy. A crass, six-foot-one puppy with blue fur and murderous tendencies. Your fingers twitch with an almost overwhelming desire to run them through his hair. You settle for flicking him in the forehead instead.

“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re acting like I fled the country rather than go to a club ten minutes away.” You absently brush a stray strand of his hair aside, not thinking much of it. Grimmjow, however, sucks in a sharp breath and you pause as a glint of something flits across his gaze… something intimate.

A trick of the light, surely.

“You–” Speech morphs to muffled protests as you press a hand to Grimmjow’s mouth, effectively cutting off whatever he was going to say.

“You still owe me some answers,” you remark.

“Mmm… to what?” He’s getting sleepier; the lull in his voice is a clear indication. Warmth blooms across your skin as Grimmjow droops forward and nestles his head into the crook of your shoulder, leaning into you as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“How about why you ruined my perfectly good night out?” You feel his head turn, breath hot like coals against your neck. A chill shoots down your spine at the slight contact, and you ignore the tingling sensation in your stomach that feels an awful lot like butterflies—millions and millions of them.

He scowls. “What, you’re that upset over not seeing lover boy again?” His arms tighten around you, “You could’ve had a better night with me. Here. Like this.”

You draw in a sharp breath as his forehead meets yours. Space is a minuscule concept now as his face hovers mere centimetres from yours. Your mind swims with a torrent of mixed feelings and thoughts.

“Grimmjow…”

“I’m sorry.”

You blink. “Huh?”

“For what I said. I didn’t mean it—any of it. Swear on my life.” His voice is strained, as if not used to the taste of those words on his tongue.

You want to believe him, truly. But the emotional, irrational side of you forsakes that possibility.

You’re nothing special.

The knife in your heart, previously forgotten, now twists again as you recall his words. For a brief second, you wonder if it would be better to feel nothing at all. To bear an empty chest, much like the hollow hole carved into the Arrancars. Perhaps that’s what you need—to lose your heart and live as they do, void of all sensations that make up human nature.

“It’s fine, Grimmjow. You don’t… experience things like I do. It’s not your fault I got upset over such a trivial matter,” you sigh.

He pulls back, something akin to guilt and shock shuttering across his handsome face. “So I did hurt you.”

You swallow, unsure how to face this new vulnerability of his.

“Tell me how to fix this. How to fix us,” he pleads.

“There is no us,” you say. The distance between you and Grimmjow is practically nonexistent, yet you find yourself unable to face him.

“Bullshit,” he spits.

You shake your head, a migraine already forming in its center. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Grimmjow. I can never seem to understand what you want!” Your anger rises with each sentence, but you don’t stop and let the emotion fuel you, “I saw us as friends. Best friends. But then you go and act like I’m nothing to you, only to turn around and get all pissy like a fucking cat marking its territory when I dare spend my night with someone who isn’t you. So for the love of god, what do you want from me?!”

“I want you.”

Your head snaps up. “What?”

“Next to me, in my bed in the morning, in my arms. Wherever I am, whenever it is… I want you with me,” he states plainly. Too casual, acting as if he didn’t just drop the biggest bomb on you, wiping every semblance of your anger away with pure, unbridled shock.

You ignore your racing pulse and focus on the intensity of his gaze instead. “You don’t believe in romance. You told me that.”

“I didn’t believe in many things before I met you.” He presses a searing kiss to the inside of your palm before leaning into it, your touch a familiar comfort.

“Like what?”

Heaven. Home. Love, probably.

He grunts. “Secret.”

“That’s not fair,” you tease. The hope rising within you gives way to giddiness and a whole new sensation: relief.

Grimmjow wants you the same way you want him. Perhaps even more so.

“What’s not fair is being iced out for a whole day while waiting for you, only to witness that thing wrapped around you like some fucking parasite.”

“He was not a parasite.”

“Looked like one to me. Ugly. Small. Easy to step on.”

“You called me a bug earlier. Doesn’t that mean we’re meant to be?” You’re torturing him at this point. It's incredibly amusing.

Grimmjow’s eyes darken. Two slits of obsidian that burn with jealousy and something else under the surface. Something even more dangerous.

“Say that again.”

You only laugh. It is a light sound that eases the tension in both the air and Grimmjow’s shoulders. He’s missed your laugh—craves it more than a drowning man would for air.

After a few seconds longer, he inevitably feels his lips pull upwards into a crooked smile—a special kind that appears solely in your presence.

Your giggles falter into a faint smile when you notice Grimmjow smirking at you. He absently draws circles on your hip with his fingers, lazily tracing the curve of your back as you ask: “What exactly are we?”

“Dunno,” he half-mumbles, too preoccupied with snuggling into your neck.

You let out a soft chuckle as his hair tickles your cheek. “Grimmjow.”

He groans, the sound reverberating against the skin of your collarbone—the place his mouth presses against. ”Does it matter? You’re mine. I’m yours. All I care about.”

“This won’t be easy,” you say.

“Yeah, well, I signed up for you, which is anything but easy. So don’t worry,” he pulls back slightly so that you’re both face to face. “I know exactly what I’m getting myself into. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

You barely register Grimmjow’s words before he leans in and roughly kisses you.

And it is the best damn kiss of your life.

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nichenarratives · 6 months

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Hurricane Heller 20

A Niche Narratives fanfiction

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20: Breaking Point

It's only November, yet the local stores have swapped their Halloween decorations for the traditional, garish reds and greens of Christmas, for it promises to be a good one. With the pandemic restrictions lifted, rationing rumored to relax in early December and the anniversary of the Great War's conclusion on the horizon, even non-Christian communities are filled with seasonal cheer, leaving New York revitalized, rejuvenated and more proud to be American than ever, even as winter rapidly descends upon the city.

Its residents drawn into an icy grip of freezing rain, sleet and an unerring frost that licks the window panes, Mordecai can at least afford to heat his home properly this year. He burns kindling and coal almost constantly when at home, and his landlady often enters to light his hearth before bed to ensure the apartment is not freezing when he returns. In exchange for that simple kindness, he buys the widower a steady supply of coal, ensuring her pension goes on sustenance and essential fabrics rather than just staying alive.

Kosher meat is more readily available once more, allowing Mordecai to reintroduce some much needed variety into his diet. While still rationed for the time being, a little chicken in his soup makes a world of difference. It adds flavour, texture and additional proteins that allow the tuxedo to regain some of the body mass he lost during the Great War. It also adds to his family's diet, ensuring his mother is as healthy as can be as the weather changes and exacerbates her cough.

Regarding his family and restoring relations, it's a tentative process certainly, but they've made steady progress. Esther and Rose adjusted to his return almost immediately, pulling him back into the comforting rituals of Sunday afternoons in an instant. He spends much of his time being shown Rose's newest sketches - which move from animals, to delicately sketched cityscapes and countryside from their father's old books - or helping Esther with chores around the house as mother rests, the morning service having exhausted her.

Reconnecting with his mother is more difficult. While she's obviously happy to have Mordecai back in their lives, former affections return slowly. It takes months to tease more than single word answers from her, numerous more to move from formal discussion to easier conversation. It was the evening she suggested he lead hamotzi he'd finally felt forgiven, an honour he'd willingly split with Esther from that night on. It's also a relief his mother never mentions returning to Temple or speaks of Nataliya, leaving his associating with the synagogue firmly in the past for their present relationship.

Unfortunately, his Mother's health declines as the seasons change; occasional coughing fits become asthmatic attacks, wheezing and persistent malaise that makes housework or cooking almost impossible to maintain. With an unrelenting schedule, Mordecai relies on Esther in particular to keep the house clean, food on the table and accompany their mother to her copious appointments, feeding back the results as he assists with dinner clean-up every Sabbath.

Regardless of the specialist or tests, the outcomes remains consistent; take medications as prescribed, keep the house clean and when possible, move to a quieter suburb.

The constant re-administering of old advice - coupled with a mounting list of ineffectual yet expensive medications - is an exasperating experience for the entire family, but none more than Mordecai. Moving his family to better housing was the main motivation for a foray into the criminal underworld. Yet nine years later, he has a delightful apartment while they fester in rental purgatory, an incessant onslaught of medical bills constantly chipping away at his hard work until he has to add another month to their intended moving date.

He and Esther talk for hours after Mother and Rose go to sleep, discussing potential short term reparations for their situation. Their landlord won't fix the drafts or the broken kitchen window, an act of unsolved vandalism during the Great War, so they've taped newspaper and cardboard over the hole to act as an insulator. They've similarly insulated leaking window frames with paper, hung up dense curtains donated by a kind Temple member for heat retention, and now keep a window situated at each end of the house barely cracked at all times for fresh air ventilation.

Unable to afford a professional chimney sweep, Mordecai had stripped to his vest and boxers and attempted to clear out the chimney with a broom handle topped with a damp cloth. The mess was immense; a white muzzle ended up indistinguishable from black fur, while his undergarments were so badly stained, they were still gray after four washes and had to be thrown out. The throwback from their next fire was definitely reduced however, well worth a pair of boxers and a vest, when their mother could breathe easier.

After noticing the abundance of mold under the window in his mother's bedroom bringing her some tea a few months prior, he began to dedicate an hour each week to removing the mold in every bedroom, before moving on to the worst offender in the house, the bathroom. The first time he scrubbed it clear of mold, his hands were raw and bloody. He'd gotten lectured by both Esther and his mother into investing in rubber marigolds, which have certainly saved his poor paws from further damage, even if he hates how they feel on his bare hands.

Despite these efforts, his mother's cough moves closer to a suffocating moistness that choked his youngest sister on the stairs that awful night. Esther notices too; when cleaning up tjegtehr, they share a worried glance across the kitchen before glancing at the ceiling, ears straining to hear her wheezing breaths afterwards, seeking reassurance their mother remains alive for another week.

Returning home, Mordecai always counts his savings again each Sunday, willing eighteen months to pass in earnest.

While loath to admit it even to himself, the unerring forward march of her illness has resulted in some unprofessionalism on Mordecai's part. He's short with his own employees, quick to become irritable in adverse conditions, and even less forgiving with the unlucky souls on the receiving end of interrogation. More than once, he's foregone any calculated discussion entirely for physical torture in a quest for swiftee conclusions, the job remaining in his least favourite line of work under Mr Savage's leadership.

Life continues on mostly according to plan though, until just two days before his twenty-first birthday, when Mordecai jolts awake to a banging on his apartment door.

"One moment," he mumbles too softly for anyone to hear, then scrabbles on his bedside table to switch on the lamp. Retrieving his pocket watch, he pops it open and squints at the face a long moment before realizing he can't see without his glass. "Briln," he grumbles to himself, clumsily picks the eyeglasses up and sets them on his muzzle. He then peers at the time with bleary eyes, tilting his head to avoid the awful fingerprints he's just left on the glass to read the face.

3:17am. Mordecai groans and presses his face into a pillow, making his pince-nez wonky in its feathery softness as his arm falls to the mattress beside him. He's been in bed for a few hours, likely only asleep for one and a half. Certainly not long enough to be summoned from slumber and tempted to ignore them and roll back over, it's their desperate nature to eventually encourage the man, begrudgingly, to his feet.

The disheveled tom pulls his robe over striped pajamas and steps into worn slippers, then causally stifles a yawn into a fist while retrieving the Colt from his shoulder holster. Gun in hand, he approaches the door and opens it without thought, the gun hanging at his side more habit than a careful plan. If anyone wanted him dead in that moment, he'd have been a sitting duck in his robe and nightclothes that Sunday night

As luck would have it, there is no threat waiting on the other side of the door, yet it's somehow immeasurably worse to be faced not with a disgruntled, bankrupt client but Rose in just her nightdress and a thin robe, tears staining her cheeks in fresh streaks and body shaking almost violently. The sight is enough to wake Mordecai up entirely, though before a query can leave his lips, Rose has thrown her arms around him and buried her face in his pajama shirt, sobbing hot tears into the fabric without remorse.

Mordecai stands awkwardly, eyes wide and confused, Colt still hanging uselessly at his side while Rose squeezes him tight enough to knock the breath from his lungs. She should not be walking the streets of New York alone at all, let alone at night. She's hardly dressed for the weather, as if she just grabbed the nearest pair of boots and ran soon after waking up, unruly curls escaping from the dual braids uses to keep it from becoming tangled during sleep.

Her attire is as bewildering as her presence, however after a number of seconds have passed, his familial instincts finally return. Bringing the hand holding the gun to rest against her lower back, Mordedai places his other hand on her head in an attempt at reassurance and comfort. It seems effective, as her tears redouble into his shirt, her arms so unnaturally cold to the touch through the thin fabric it makes him frown.

Only then does he finally look up and notice his Mrs Kovitz, his downstairs neighbour and landlady, also standing in the hallway. The elderly woman leans against a wall for support, her face smothered in anti wrinkle cream and frame almost skeletal thanks to the stress of losing both her husband and a son in the war, her palm beneath the opposite elbow to steady her hand as she puffs on a cigarette.

*She say sumzing about motzher going into 'ospital," the elderly woman states between tokes. Her frilly nightgown is like a sea of white on her small frame, making her seem like she doesn't have feet. "I zink it best let her up to speak."

"I appreciate the forethought, Mrs Kovitz," the monochrome tom offers with obvious sincerity on a usually stoic muzzle. He glances down at Rose for a moment, gently stroking the back of her head as she begins to quiet down, before olive eyes rise to meet pale yellows. "Anything with which you require assistance, I would be most-"

She interrupts him with a shoo motion from both hands. "Go be wiv family, narr," she instructs with a sad smile, tired eyes moving to the sniffing girl pressed to his chest. It's her favourite thing to call her peculiar upstairs neighbour, when the man fixates on unimportant things, an affectionate term, even if it sounds somewhat cruel; jester. Mrs Kovitz motions to the girl she hasn't met before. "Time for being man of family, not pester old woman wiv help."

Mordecai nods gratefully before ushering Rose inside, her freezing hands a sure sign her shivering is not just from the expression of intense emotions. She needs a cup of tea to sip while Mordecai finds something suitably warm to pull on over her robe, then they'll go to the hospital together. Until they talk to a professional, Mordecai can only hope there's still something that can be done for his mother's poor health.

oOoOo

Even at six in the morning, the hospital still bustles; around slumbering patients and anxious relatives, nurses move in and out of wards fluidly, taking vitals and checking on their most vulnerable patients with admirable efficiency. Mordecai watches them silently from his chair beside his mother's bed once her cough has been brought under control. Hours flow past for while she and his sisters slumber, he cannot relax. There's no time for rest, not when he has new calculations and risk assessments to run regarding his savings plan.

He reclines in the armchair and stares at the ceiling, fingers entwined in his lap atop a white fedora. With just months left before saving enough to buy them a house, the sudden decline in their mother's health is a kick in the teeth. Doctors expect her to be discharged in three weeks and determined she won't return to a home that's slowly killing her, the time frame for success has significantly reduced to a mere tenth.

This comes with its own slew of problems; there's no way Savage won't notice if Mordecai starts scraping more than one percent off each business under his management. The numbers are simply too high to disguise as unexpected bills or degraded stock, yet Mordecai remains aware his current scheme can't earn the remaining funds in just three weeks, not unless he can exponentially grow his customer base in each consecutive week, unlikely in a post-war climate.

A low wheeze drawing his attention, Mordecai sits up and observes his mother carefully as she struggles to catch her breath, even at rest. The episode thankfully passes just as swiftly as it came when she rolls onto her side, but it's enough to convince Mordecai of his next move; temporarily increasing his embezzlement margins to three percent, and hope he can disguise it well enough to avoid the deception being uncovered.

It's a huge risk, but just two weeks of triple earnings is all he needs to ensure once his mother is discharged, she and his sisters can move into a new home. One without black mold under the windows. I can remain undetected for a fortnight. I have to, for mother's sake.

#lackadaisy #niche narratives #hurricane heller #mordecai heller #lackadaisy cats #fanfiction #tracy j butler #lackadaisy mordecai #fanfic #no beta we die like atlas may #this chapter killed me #but enjoy #please

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ussjellyfish · 8 months

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new job?

I interviewed at a different district on Friday. (I'm a math teacher). I have been teaching 7th/8th, with the advanced classes, because no one wants them, so the fun stuff like geometry and fancy algebra). I've had 4 different classes in the past year, which was a lot, but I did a good job.

I interviewed at a suburban district where my brother lives with his wife and kids. I have been teaching in St. Paul, big urban district. 3rd biggest in my state, 30,000+ students, 8 middle schools, BIG district.

My school has about 600 students, and 5 math teachers.

Potential new school has 1000 students, and 7 or 8 math teachers. It's wealthier. Myold school is in a nice neighborhood (too nice for me to ever afford a house) but it's very mixed economically and racially. It's in an odd position because there are some really privileged students who are really advanced and need one set of things and other students who have really strong needs another way. It's a difficult balance. The kids are great.

I'm sure the kids at the new school would be great. It's wealthier, newer building, more resources. I probably wouldn't have to fight to get whiteboard markers.

more under a cut

Murray (current school) - upsides and downsides

Upsides

I know everyone. I really like most of my coworkers. They're great. I have a work best friend. We're gaining a really fantastic 8th grade history teacher that I could work with, which would help my floor.

I'll get to teach more interesting math. I'm the department head. I have a lot of power (sort of) and I get to pick the interesting classes and can really reshape the department. (partially because no one else cares, but it's fun).

It's the least effort, I'm set up to go back there, I have a plan that works for Felix (he goes to a new school in the 4 year old program. He gets to ride the bus home, which is a big step and I'd have a much easier commute immediately.

I could move to a smaller apartment near work and walk. (in January). I'd still have to drive Felix until he's in kindergarten, but he'd go to a really good elementary school, and I'd be in a really nice little walkable neighborhood. Great little grocery store, taco place, parks, playground, walking distance to work best friend's house.

Pension/retirement here is really good, like, stunningly good.

Downsides

My principal is incompetent, tone deaf and really difficult to work with. He's incredibly privileged, lives in the suburbs (the far out rich suburbs), he has a fancy car, he loves to hear himself talk. He's...someone I avoid rather than enjoy talking to.

Assistant principal thinks she's saving the world while is literally the embodiment of every meme about terrible admin. She's the one who gives a kid a cookie when they cuss you out. She's dragging the building down in so many ways and principal can't do anything to stop her. (there's something weird where she's kind of blackmailed the district? she can't be fired, but desperately needs to retire and won't. She's saving the world, the rest of us are terrible. (she seems to genuinely believe this and it is weird).

We had to go on strike to get a 2% raise in 2020. Our contract is up again and we're negotiating, and we nearly went on strike in 2022 but they gaved at the last minute. With the economy being what it is we're probably going to ask for 5%, and not get it and...there's some uncertainty.

I don't have tenure and will finally get it after this year. (This is in the middle, I guess?)

I am CONSTANTLY asked to cover other classes because we don't get enough substitutes. (like...once or twice a week, it's a lot).

New School SLP -

Upsides

Principal seems amazing. I've only met her for an hour and half, but she trained with my favorite principal ever. She's new to the school and very excited to be there.

Math department is really competent and the way they do teaching and grading is awesome. Really neat program of self reflection for students. I'd be walking into something made by people who know what they are doing and I wouldn't have to make it. I could just use theirs.

They asked my pronouns in the meeting. I had to argue to get current job to talk about them.

I drive to visit my brother's family at least once a week, and it's 20 minutes one way (with freeway). It would be about 10 minutes, no freeway. We could walk on a nice day.

I could move in January (my current lease doesn't run out until then and the penalties are stiff). I have a wide variety of apartments to chose from, near parks, near schools, some of them are in nice walkable areas. It's the suburbs, so slightly different lifestyle. I could definitely bike to work, good paths for that.

If we live in SLP we're much closer to brother and that would even out some of the responsibilities for Dad. I'm definitely moving, by myself in January, so dad needs his own plan by then, but, who knows what he'll chose.

Downsides

Absolute chaos in the near term. I'd need to leave one job (turn everything in, exit, meet with new HR, etc etc. We're going to Scotland on Wednesday so it would be fast and furious for awhile.

I don't know anyone at new place. (I will but...that's scary in the middle term).

Felix would need a different school. So I'd have to find one. I think I can make it work, but it'll be annoying for me.

My commute will be awful until January.

It will be harder (though not impossible) to hang out with my one friend from old work.

I'm struggling here, so this one is probably better?

6th grade math is less interesting, but less behavior problems. They're squirrels, but they're cute at that age.

smaller district? if it sucks, it'll really suck. (but I don't know yet).

Pension is less good. Any salary gains I got would be gone in how much I'd have to put away for retirement.

Brother #1 who lives in Iowa says it's okay to have two decent choices, and they kind of are. It matters how much admin/work culture influences my job, and where I want Felix to go to school. (there is a push that sububrbs would be better for him, I thnk he'd be fine anywhere, he's a good kid).

The short term chaos would be a LOT. (I can do it , it's just a LOT).

#whingeing about life #personal

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limetameta · 2 years

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You know me lads I love a good au:

This time on the table we got ourselves a serving of What if Kimblee got discharged from the military after Ishval instead of going to prison. So you have this really mentally unstable individual who is clearly going through a lot (though most notably for him is the ph stone being taken from him) told he is unfit to serve in the military anymore. And that he will be discharged on grounds of shell shock. Kimblee understands this is their way of getting rid of him, a nightmare to deal with.

He goes home. Well to the hospital first and then to some hearings and then the whole court martial situation and then he doesn't even get to go home but they shove him into a mental institution until he calms down. Because Kimblee? A bit angry. Let's not get into how or why he didn't blow people up let's just focus on the au because this isn't even the good part.

Man finally goes home after this ordeal. Has to reconnect with his family. Mama Kimblee my beloved is so happy to have her boy back from Ishval. If anything she's quite happy that her Solf’s not in the military anymore. If only he'd stop with the alchemy business too and focus on being a doctor or a banker or even a textile worker. Something real and safe and financially tangible.

Kimblee is not a military officer. He gets those veteran discounts and a veteran's pension and that's about it. So he focuses on research.

-When are you going to find someone to settle down with? Martina's boy is already married and he's younger than you!-

So he focuses on research.

-Not to mention that I'm worried about your health. You aren't eating enough. And I don't think I've seen you sleep once through the entire night since you've been back!-

He focuses on research.

-I mean, really, Solf, maybe you should talk to someone about this. Aren't you in contact with any of your war buddies? You never have anyone over. You can't be that disliked. I taught you how to be charming.-

Somehow he manages to focus enough on his research for long enough for his name to become synonymous with alchemy. Has written a plethora of articles and even helped write some books on alchemy. His theories are definitely something else and this gives him a certain level of infamy that the war didn't. Feel like the man gets a PhD. Just so he can write Prof.dr Kimblee. It's definitely filled some void in his chest. His mother's certainly proud her son's a doctor of SOME kind. Still not like Martina's boy who's an actual surgeon, but oh well.

At least he gets out of the house.

Kimblee remains in contact with two people from the military. Very one sided. Kimblee didn't even know these people liked him well enough to write him. But the whole hospital then discharge then PhD thing must be interesting enough to warrant them to write.

There's a whole little box dedicated to the photos Maes Hughes sends him. Kimblee is a bit frightened to think about what kind of box someone like Roy Mustang must need in order to encompass all of the memorabilia Maes Hughes sends him.

Maes is kind of like a normal friend Kimblee can tell his mother about. Because other than the neighbourhood gossip and the music scene in their hometown, he is painfully aware he is running out of topics to talk about w her.

The other person is. Well. Not a person, more of an angel of death if Kimblee can say so. Riza Hawkeye sends one or two letters per year. But she sends them. Kimblee thinks that's nice of her. He sends her cards on the major holidays. Has invited her out to come and go hunting with him in these parts. Has always had the offer declined. Does not mind.

Kimblee is a painfully smart man and he has a lot of stipulations put into place how he needs to use his alchemy and in which circumstances he is allowed to use his very destructive alchemy. It's...exhausting. though it is better than having a tattoo artist completely tattoo over his palms and effectively render him incapable of ever using it.

In comes Edward Elric. He has gone through so many books to no avail. He is at his wit's fucking end about finding any information about how he and his brother can find their bodies back. He has no idea who else he can harass.

Roy Mustang is just about to suggest Shou Tucker, the Life Thread Alchemist - when Riza just says, offhandedly: "I mean, there's always Kimblee."

Roy? Instantly grimaces. Horrified. What even is life?

This reaction? Just enough for Edward to go head first into his manhunt on the Kimblee guy. "I read some of his stuff and he seems really intense. How do you know him? I thought he wasn't a State Alchemist?"

"He was." Roy just leaves it at that. Smart man, this Roy. Not one to waste words.

Anyhow they track Kimblee down. Which isn't difficult. He's in the phone book. Riza has his address.

But it gets a bit funny when he reaches the destination. Edward just keeps pointing at people and going: ''Oi, are you Solf J. Kimblee?'' ''Oi are YOU doctor Solf J. Kimblee?'' ''OI, WHAT ABOUT YOU, ARE YOU SOLF J. KIMBLEE, DR PHD ALCHEMY GUY?'' (billy nye the science guy theme plays)

''He's gone fishing,'' one person says. Finally they point him in the direction of this guy who's on a little row boat out into a lake. He has a hat on and he's chilling. Edward, naturally, keeps shouting at him for attention from the lake shore. He's screaming atop his lungs. ''OI??? OI!!!! YOU DR KIMBLEE OR NOT??? OIIIIII, WE GOT SOME QUESTIONS, WE'RE ALCHEMISTS!''

Alphonse is like: ''Maybe it's not him. Maybe it's just some guy fishing.''

''How can he fish?'' Edward's pointing at the boat and the man in the boat. ''He doesn't have a fishing rod.''

Alphonse hums. It is pretty suspicious.

Edward won't stand for it, thanks. He and Alphonse are getting in another boat because they don't have any time to spare. The faster they get information the faster they can get out of here and maybe finally find a lead towards their goal. Besides, the ph stone continues to be an enigma nobody knows anything about! This guy could very well be a dud, but they'd at least like to figure it out quickly.

So, their boats are neck and neck. Alphonse introduces them as the Elric brothers.

''You're that twelve year old that became a State Alchemist?'' The man says. He doesn't seem surprised, only mildly curious.

''I'm fifteen now, thanks!'' Then. ''Are you that Doctor Kimblee guy or not?''

''If you're asking if I'm Martina Kimblee's son, Adam Kimblee the successful surgeon, I will have to disappoint you.''

Edward is fuming by the end of Kimblee's roundabout answers that he tells him he's come here for one purpose and one purpose only and that's to hear what Kimblee knows about alchemy and ph stones and that he won't be leaving until he gets what he wants.

''Sure,'' Kimblee says, ''I can tell you about my research. On the condition you kill more fish than I do.''

The boat Alphonse and Edward took to get to Kimblee has two fishing rods in it. And some bait. Though, Kimblee's doesn't.

Edward and Alphonse have accepted this bet

Kimblee's humming a classical piece. Maybe the Carmina Burana. He's grinning. He's having a fun time just chilling in his boat looking at these two very determined teenagers trying to out-fish him.

Edward is telling him that he's gonna lose so fucking hard. He hasn't caught one fish yet.

Kimblee points to all of their wriggling fishes. ''And those are still alive.''

Edward huffs and says they'll die eventually. There's no way Kimblee can beat them. They've caught like 5 fish so far. And Kimblee? A big ol zero! Nye-he!

Five fish turns into ten. They're celebrating on their boat already. The poor souls. Kimblee doesn't prepare them for what's coming. He leans over his boat and claps, sparks sizzling from his alchemical activation, and he very gently submerges his palms into the lake water. There's a big boom. Suddenly definitely-more-than-ten fish swim up to the surface, dead and dazed.

Kimblee smiles at them and waves with his moon array palm. ''I win.''

''You didn't CATCH any of them, though!''

Kimblee scoffs. ''I said kill, not catch.''

''He did say that, brother...''

''Motherfucker.'' Edward throws a fish at Kimblee.

''So rude!'' Kimblee says, barely dodging the fish.

#fmab #fma #fullmetal alchemist #solf j. kimblee #edward elric #kimblee #i dont know how to name this au #discharged au #anyhow kimblee joins forces with the elrics because he wants a ph stone for himself after they get their bodies back #it's a win win #and then the fmab sequence of events starts #i rly like fishing kimblee #fishing kimblee my beloved

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mirsvintagesonytv · 2 years

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Chuuya and Yuan headcanons bc I saw a post talking about how the fandom hates Yuan and I’ve had enougH!!! So I’m gonna shove my headcanons down ur throats.

Yuan was the one to do Chuuya's hair in the sheep. It used to be super long, and she'd braid it for him so it wouldn't get in his face. When Chuuya decided he wanted it short, Yuan was the one who cut it for him. She's extremely talented at doing other peoples hair, and both Chuuya and Shirase have commented that if they weren't so poor, she should go to beauty school and become a professional. (this is also in reference to her own unique hairstyle, she created that herself)

She was also the one to take Chuuya to the arcade for the first time. Every time they go now, they have a DDR battle, because it's Yuan's favourite, and the one she first showed Chuuya when they were kids

She basically taught him everything he knew about the world, since when they first met he was completely alone, isolated and unaware of anything. Yuan was Chuuya's first and best friend. She taught him to read, write, and even speak to some degree. She's like his sister. Therefore she gets super offended when he grows taller than her.

Yuan is the chef of the sheep. Basically she's the super capable big sister that everyone takes for granted, and so when Chuuya expresses interest in what she's doing, she goes full Gordon Ramsey mode and teaches him how to cook (there were definitely arguments, a lot of swearing, and food thrown around)

Yuan loves Chuuya's ability. She always looks for any excuse for him to use it on her so she can experience being weightless. They started doing the grocery runs together because of this, and Chuuya will use tainted to send Yuan up to the top shelf that neither of them (both being around the same height) can reach.

They also get up to a lot of mischief together, such as stealing shopping carts for joyrides, attempting to ride down large hills on stolen dinner trays from restaurants, using his ability to freak out pensioners, attempting to learn how to skateboard only to fall flat on their asses etc. which Shirase always ends up lecturing them about

Yuan is the only one to know specifics about Chuuya's past. Because she is a very light sleeper compared to the others (cough Shirase cough that man sleeps as hard as a rock prove me otherwise) and is generally quite a skittish person, she often gets woken up by Chuuya's very vivid nightmares. She is the one who will comfort him after them, and over time, Chuuya came to trust her enough to tell her about them and his past in general (what he can remember anyway) She was the only person in the sheep to know about this until Shirase was roped into stormbringer events, and she never told anyone else.

Because they are both essentially stray cats in terms of personality (skittish, untrusting, will bite your hand off if you touch them/approach them wrong) they immediately understand each other/ get along and hence they become close. This also means that Yuan knows how to interact with/manage Chuuya when things are bad, to a degree that Shirase cannot. They are besties your honor.

Short duo. Every time one of them is in an argument with Shirase or another sheep member, they'll give each other piggybacks to make themselves appear taller in front of the other person. They are so synchronised that it's second nature at this point

Yuan really likes Ducks. Chuuya promised her once that they'd get a pet duck one day and name it Grapefruit (one of the meanings of the first Kanji in her name) After Stormbringer events, Chuuya reaches out to Yuan, who is working in a cafe at the time, and pays for her to go to Beauty school to become a hairdresser. He also buys her a pet duck like he'd promised. Dazai had been confused by Chuuya's spending records that month, but he simply passed it off as a tax fraud thing (laundering money thru a duck business slay)

They are still in touch in the current timeline, and ever since Yuan graduated from school she has been the only person Chuuya will go to to get his hair done. He'll also drag along the akutagawa's sometimes, which led to Gin and Higuchi being the biggest Yuan stans there are. (higuchi followed Akutagawa there because she was curious where he got his hair done) They have girl talk!!! Higuchi SWEARS by Yuan's methods. Unfortunatley though, no miracle hairdressing could save akutagawa's eyebrows.

Back in the sheep, whenever Chuuya got injured, Yuan was the only one allowed to treat him because of his medical trauma. She was the only one he trusted enough to let her deal with his injuries. She has the steadiest sewing hand known to man. Even in the future, when Chuuya is in the mafia, he still will occasionally turn up to her shop when he is injured instead of reporting back, simply because he trusts her more than the mafia doctors. This becomes a lot more common after Dazai leaves since he was the only other person trusted with Chuuya when he was injured.

Her salon is called "Grapefruit's house" because of the duck. He just wanders around while people have their hair done. Tips are accepted in bird seed and ice water for Grapefruit <3 and he follows Yuan around everywhere.

Look i just want them to be happy okay??? THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME

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foster-the-world · 10 months

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And we are off

My husband has the kids at a state nature preserve while I packed and cleaned up the house. All done and enjoying twenty glorious minutes alone on the couch. My Aunt/Uncle, cousin and their two friends are staying while we are gone. NYC rent is too expensive to leave this place empty. My Aunt is so excited. She's had a rough year so I'm glad she'll will get some fun in.

I cannot wait to be swimming at the hotel pool tmrw. For some reason I'm feeling confident about baby boy flying. The flight to California was a true disaster but I think we've figured it out now. Fingers crossed I'm not in denial.

My husband's boss is leaving. They immediately offered him the position. He doesn't really want to take it. Its a big pay raise but will be longer hours at work. He would still be able to leave the office at 5pm but would be up after the kids go to bed working. There is no part of me that feels like either of us have more hours to spare. Baby boy is really draining all of our energy and its still very unclear what supports he will need in the future. At the same time, it will be hard to turn down the extra pay. He is very lucky to get a full pension based on his three highest years pay (thank you govt work in a liberal state). He can retire at 57 - so its not money just for the next few years but for the next 30 + years. I mean this most likely won't be his last promotion but every step upward counts. If he passes away the pension passes to me. Current employees don't get these benefits - he got in right before they changed the rules. He's been there 20 years now. He/we will have the entire vacation to think about it. Nice either way that they offered it to him. He's also had this amazing boss forever. I'm warning him how miserable his life can get if he gets a bad boss.

Baby boys been behaving very well for the past two days. Maybe he's maturing?? Maybe he just has good and bad days?? He is so damn cute. Last night I told him I was taking the girls somewhere. He goes "Oh, okay. You go Japan???" HA! HA! No kid. The next trip to Japan you are coming.

The girls begged to have a pedicure before vacation. I took them last night. Said it was a treat for doing so well in school. Very cute/fun. Bee is so much more girly then I am.

Foster agency is sticking to making us be re-certified. I can't think about it until we are back. Of course, no one has given us an adoption date so no idea when we need to get the trainings over with. Such a massive waste of time.

Baby boys therapies need to be switched from Department of Health to Dept of Education now that he turned three. After a month of pestering, they sent me a list of over 200 evaluation places throughout the city. I called over 20. None have evaluation appts before October. I put us on all of the waiting lists. Will probably try to pay out of pocket for OT, PT, etc until he is adopted and he can go on our private insurance. Its unGodly expensive. Need to figure out what services will help him. A little lost honestly. Weight vests, weighted blankets, crash pads, sensory toys, brush techniques? Will these things help him?? Do we have room for those things (=No). Need to start videoing when he's really unregulated. One-on-one in an OT office is not going to show what we are talking about. Of course, the foster agency doesn't bother responding to my emails related to any of these services. The medical lady used to be the one consistently competent person at the agency. She moved on and of course the new person is useless.

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silvertsundere · 1 year

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Silver Talks AniManga (16/04/23)

took it easy this week, so no crazy catch up like last one

things of note this week are the new pokeanime and Kill Blue, by the author of kuroko no basket

Anime

Pokemon (2023) Ep1 - 2

I've been asking for ash to get retired for a billion years so I was STOKED when they announced that was actually gonna happen. he still didn't deserve to become champion with all the cheating he's always done but it was inevitable if he was to get taken out back. but onto better things. the new pokemon anime! it's really good! I wasn't sure about it, since pokemon has been airing for 20+ years but it felt like a breath of fresh air. the animation wasn't animation to write home about, even the fight with charizard and ceruledge looked good but it wasn't anything crazy, but it had some fancy looking scenery shots. it's strongest point was riko and sprigatito tho, their interactions are cute and endearing. anyway there's more I could say but I waited to write this til I was done with manga, cause I finished ep 2 like right when the chaps came out, so forgot some of the stuff I wanted to say, but that's the basic gist of it. it's really good, if you like pokemon you'll wanna be watching it.

Mashle Ep2

oh hey they got to the first scene that made me go "oh maybe this can be something special after all" in the manga, still nothing impressive in terms of animation but, again, the start is p chill til it becomes a battle series so we'll see

Jigokuraku Ep3

another good ep, still sticking very closely to the manga and nothing too special in terms of animation, but the sword fighting isn't bad also love seeing my lad gabi being such a wifeguy

Manga

Kill Blue Ch1

fujimaki-sensei of kuroko no basket fame is back on jump! I really enjoyed robo x laserbeam when that ran some years ago (golf sports manga) but it ended up getting axed. kill blue is their newest series, based on their previous one shot with a similar name, like I mentioned in that news post some time ago. anyway, it's kinda like sakamoto and conan, a legendary assassin gets turned into a child and due to various reasons has to go back to school. the first chap was p decent, fujimaki's art is still great and the premise isn't bad so hoping for good things. hope it doesn't get stuck in the "old man goes back to school" thing and does some more stuff but I trust in fujimaki. also calling it here now that his daughter is gonna ge transfered to his class eventually, since they specifically mentioned she's around his (now reduced) age, so he'll get to interact with her and get to know her and become a better dad cause of that

Dandadan Ch101

always funny when yukinobu just drop visuals like this outta nowhere nice chap tho, momo got a new power and we're learning a bit more about vamola before she re-enters the fray

Saihate Quartet Ch9

they really went and made me him into an eboy huh

Kaiju 8 Ch84

another very poggies chap bless, it's been good to see kikoru's character growth

Pension Life Vampire Ch3

another cute chap, like usual, and keeping my yuri alarms ringing let's go

Tokyo Underworld Ch37

not a bad chap, kinda lame jeanne just gets to walk away but at least the mcs realized there's an amogus

Ichigoki's Under Control!! Ch19 (Finale)

MAN it's finally over, thank god, I thought shugomaru was a bad comedy, but at least it made me chuckle once, and when it learned it was gonna get axed it went wild and actually did something remotely decent, ichigoki was just bad from start to finish this is the first 1 I've ever given, and as rude as it might be, I hope the author doesn't do anything else on jump again

The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins Ch21

just when I thought maybe it was getting better it takes another turn for the worse, not really much more to say than I just want it to end already

Fabricant 100 Ch18

hey another decent chap not bad, was expecting him to just copy the way andy uses his powers in UU but they went a different creative route so that's good, still think the series' doomed but the author has improved since the start, which is a good sign for their future stuff

Jiangshi X Ch12

alright chap, not much to say tbh, still expecting a timeskip soon but we'll see

Witch Watch Ch105

I thought it was just gonna be a silly chap with comedian moi as the punchline, but there was actually some plot progression so that's nice

Cipher Academy Ch20

a very good chap, the end was especially hype, maybe the medaka comeback is still on the table for nisio after all. I can only hope so

Tenmaku Cinema Ch2

really good chap 2, himeki is very intense but she's also p goofy, which makes for a good contrast. wasn't too sure on chap 1 but yeah this'll be good, you can really feel the author's love for movies and tosh's art is sharper than ever

Blue Box Ch97

another very good chap, it's still funny to me that the jump sports manga is actually a shoujo romance but it's really such a good blend of the two, god bless miura

Mashle Ch152

he's back baby!!! finally time for the final showdown

Sakamoto Days Ch115

good chap, the scene with sakamoto jumping the bridge was very pog, got to see slur's motivation too

Undead Unluck Ch155

this is an unexpected duo but they're p funny together

The Elusive Samurai Ch106

good lord that was an intense chap, very curious about how they're gonna get out of this. shouldn't be that much left til the manga ends either since takauji is the final boss, but it's had a good run

Akane-banashi Ch58

another great chap, not only did we get to know seiyuu-chan's motivations, akane is also learning more about herself and her art

#silver talks animanga #extra late today cause I didn't have power for 1h30m

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kashilascorner · 2 years

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Aki is probably the most intriguing character in Shoplifters (which surely is full of interesting, nuanced characters). We know so little about her. She seems to come from a good, upper middle class family yet she abandoned that for a life of poverty with her beloved grandmother. She seems to hate her borderline s*x work, yet she seems to make good money out of it. And where does this money go to? Surely nor her primary chosen family unit. Does it go to her little sister Sayaka, with whom she seems to be a bit obsessed? I think it went to the grandma but then, the grandma also received money from Aki's family. Also, though it is implied in the movie and it says so on wikipedia, I am not that sure Aki's parents knew where she was. They say she was in Australia, and though they are obviously lying why would they talk about it like that with grandmother if they knew she was with her and Sayaka had already gone to school? Grandmother seems to not have given any of that money to the others. She gambled, but seeing that after her death they found she had money stored my suspicion is she was saving up for her own funeral. We know half of the money Aki makes in the club goes to the club, and then half of that goes to grandmother. I also had this idea that she was actually not recieving any pension, but that her "pension" money was actually Aki + Aki's parents but that wouldn't add up.

My conclusion is Aki is so awfully lonely, needy and touch starved. She probably ran away from home at some point, and she went to live with her grandmother who treated her with love and care and catered to her whims. Aki is beautiful, probably had at least a decent education, and could have chosen something different, yet she seems to have problema connecting with people. She's a bit of aloner inside the household. She practically begs a client to join her at a more intimate venue because she needs the human contact that badly. She is the only one that actually shows grief (doesn't mean the others didn't feel it in their own way) when grandmother passes away. And she is completely devastated when the social services people tell her grandmother was scamming her/her parents. She is the only character we don't see in any sort of epilogue, but last time we see her, she is yet again at the house the family shared together. Her house.

#shoplifters #shoplifters 2018 #blabla #I'm just so fascinated with some aspects of this movie and trying to reconcile that they seem/were good people with their later actions lol

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schrijverr · 2 years

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Miracle Worker 1

Chapter 1 out of 10

Mike has dropped out of High School at sixteen to take on a full time job as a bike delivery boy to take care of Grammy. He lies that he’s eighteen to get better hours and more pay, somehow ending up working for Harvey on a project that will get him Senior Partnership. Mike and Harvey becomes friends during the course of it, Mike looking up to Harvey as all he wants to be, but probably never will. However, when things go south with Grammy, he considers taking Trevor’s offer to do a drug run, instead ending up with Harvey offering to be his mentor. Offering him help.

On AO3.

Ships: none, pls don't

Warnings: declining health due to age, poverty

~~~~~~~~~~~

You

Mike dropped out of High School in his last year, told his Grammy he doesn’t want to anymore, that he can’t see himself have a future where he’d need that. She thinks he’ll get back next year. She thinks he just needs a break, that being younger than his peers has effected him so much that he just wants to stop for a while before he goes back to school.

He knows that he won’t do that. This is not an act of rebellion or trying to save himself from mental stress. But Grammy’s health has taken a dive for the worse. She isn’t able to work anymore, forgetting more and more, along with her movement getting more restricted. He knows her pension won’t last forever. If he’s going to afford the care she is going to need soon, he needs to build up some savings and fast.

So, Mike is sixteen, telling the world he’s eighteen and riding across New York to delivers messages on his bike. Not to put himself through college, but to care for his Grammy, who is getting too old to recognize the situation for the truth.

It’s not like he cares, he tries to tell himself in the rough moments.

He doesn’t want to go to school anyway. School is boring and easy. It sucks. Now he’s free to do as he pleases. That’s much better. Who would want to trade that for school?

In those moments he ignores how sore he is each day, coming home after many miles beneath his wheels for a small wage that he has to save up or put towards groceries, while the few friends he has contact with from High School buy the latest comics from their pocket money, talking about how much History class sucks.

Still, he takes some of the money for himself. He feels so selfish whenever he does, but each month he allows himself to buy a book.

He can also go to the library and does so often enough, but there’s something that can be said for owning a book. He likes making notes in the margins, underlining things and watching as his collection grows. He wants to own a collection worthy of the title library one day.

Before he dropped out, he wanted to be a lawyer. He still does, though it’s more a fantasy for the late nights than anything concrete. It’s a nice possibility that will never be, to keep him going when the world seems against him.

So, he has legal books. A copy of the Barbri legal handbook, a collection of old courthouse records, the Constitution and more.

Mike knows them all by heart already, but he likes having them. Likes reading about cases in the paper and going through them to see how he would argue them. He especially likes it when he reads about the case later and sees that he’s right (or wrong, though that doesn’t happen often).

All in all, life isn’t good, but it could be worse when he first delivers a package to Pearson Hardman, a famous law firm. He has read about it them the papers. Somewhere he’s excited he’ll get to go into the firm, even if he won’t make it past the mail room. He knows he will never be a lawyer, yet he’ll get to pretend that he belongs in those offices just for a few minutes.

He locks his bike and makes his way into the building, looking around at the sleek marble in the entrance hall. After he has taken in it, he goes over to the doorman, having done this song and dance many times already now. “Hey, I’m here to deliver a package?”

The doorman gives him a skeptical once over, which Mike is also used to, because he doesn’t look like the eighteen years old that he isn’t. So, he holds up the package and says: “It’s for a Mr. Soloff?”

At the name the doorman nods, apparently that name is familiar. He points him to the elevators and says: “Mail room is on the 21st floor.”

“Thank you, sir,” Mike says, having long since learned it’s best to be respectful no matter what, before getting into an elevator car.

In the elevator is a man in a suit, looking all sorts of intense as he barks into a phone. He gives Mike a quick glance as he enters frowning when he sees they will stop at 21 before going up to the 50 that’s also highlighted, before turning back to his conversation: “I don’t care what he says, Donna, I’m not letting him sign that deal.”

“I said keep him there,” the man says after the person on the other side, Donna, replies. “Do what you need to do, I’m on my way up.”

Mike is feeling a bit uncomfortable. This man is obviously important and in a hurry with something major about to go wrong at any moment. So when the doors slide open on the 21st floor, he scurries out as fast as he can. Within one elevator ride, he feels even less like he belongs in this place.

He sighs and looks around in the sleek halls. He knows he’s never going to become a lawyer, but having it confronted like that isn’t really the best feeling.

So, he looks around, having gotten used to finding the way in big offices and makes his way over to the mail room. The transaction is as standard as ever, with Mike feeling like he is the least important person on the planet before being dismissed and watched closely by the guard as he makes his way outside.

Typical Tuesday really.

And while Mike never forgets anything ever, he puts the delivery out of his mind pretty quickly, since it’s one of many with nothing truly interesting really happening.

In the following weeks, he makes a few more deliveries to Pearson Hardman. He learns the doorman’s name is Jose Morales and not as much of a hardass as Mike had first suspected. He isn’t a fun joke-y guy either, just takes his job seriously, which is highly important in such a prominent law firm. And now that he knows Mike, he’s allowed to pass with no problem.

The people in the mail room are still professional and do the bare about of interaction necessary, but Mike can’t really blame them. They get hundreds of deliveries a day, he can hardly expect them to spend social energy on every delivery guy that passes through.

During his deliveries, he sees many men in suits and women in expensive dresses, oozing power. Of course, he doesn’t dare to talk to them, or even meet some of their eyes and gets to know exactly zero of their names. He might from his deliveries, but he wouldn't know which face to connect to the names.

He sees the man from the deal on the phone a few times as well. The man always looks intimidating with his perfectly fitted suits and tightly gelled hair. Mike has seen him smile a few time, mostly when he’s talking to someone as he walks. He always looks like a shark.

Mike is fascinated with the guy. Which, granted, he knows is a bit odd, but he can’t help it. The man is what he imagines his life could have been like had the world dealt his cards differently. Besides, there isn’t much to stimulate his brain when delivering packages. He’s pretty sure the boredom is worse than the physical labor of this job.

A small bitter voice in his mind says: ‘Then you shouldn’t have dropped out, now should you,’ but he pushes that away. Grammy’s new meds are working and even though he doesn’t see her often with how busy he is, it is nice to come home to her remembering who he is.

So, he tries not to think about how strange it is that he made up a world for this one man to live in, imagining himself alongside him as he rides his bike through the busy New York streets, trying not to get run over.

It’s then that he gets another delivery for Pearson Hardman. This time he has to bring it right to the office of one Mr. Litt, apparently it’s urgent and should be top priority.

Mike often hears it’s top priority, which is a lie nearly equally as often. However, the fact that it is to be taken to the office directly instead of the mail room sets off a bell in his mind. He remembers hearing the man say a big case was coming up last time he ran into him on a delivery and wonders if he is Mr. Litt.

Fueled by curiosity he jumps on his bike and paddles first to Rand, Kaldor, Zane, where he picks up the package, before racing to the other side of Manhattan to deliver it. Jose is at the door, raising a brow when he sees how out of breath Mike is. Between deep breaths he asks: “What floor is Mr. Litt’s office?”

“The 50th, go to the left,” Jose answers and Mike thanks him as he hurries to the elevators.

He makes himself look more presentable in the elevator, though it’s a loosing battle. He is in jeans and a graphic shirt underneath a too big zip up, with beat up sneakers. On his head is his helmet, he’s sweaty and he knows he has a zit on his forehead. However, he’s at least no longer gasping like a man who nearly drowned as he exits the elevator and goes to the left.

White letters on the glass are not as easily readable as whoever designed them must have thought, but Mike scans all the names quickly until he sees an office reading: Louis Litt, Junior Partner. In front of it sits an ancient woman, who he greets politely: “Hi, ma’am, I have an urgent delivery for Mr. Litt from Rand, Kaldor, Zane. I was ordered to take it to his office directly.”

The lady looks up to him and takes in his appearance with a disdained look as he tries not to squirm under her gaze.

Behind her, the man sitting at the desk looks up. It’s not the man from the phone, he’s shorter and has dark buzzcut hair. When he hears the noise outside his office, he looks up and presses a button as the intercom crackles to life. “Who’s the charity case out there, Norma? I am too busy for this, alright?”

Norma, as the lady is apparently called, rolls her eyes while Mike ignores the sting of hurt at the description. He’s used to the insults from tense businessmen or associates who think they’re so good, because they went to a fancy school. Norma replies: “It’s a messenger, says he has a delivery for you from Rand, Kaldor, Zane.”

“Already?” Mr. Litt sounds surprised and Mike feels a bit of smug pride as he nods through the glass and holds up the parcel. Take that with your insults.

“Well then what the hell are you doing, Norma?” Mr. Litt snaps. “I needed that package yesterday, so why are you so incompetent that you can’t even let a messenger through.”

Mike startles at the harsh tone, but Norma seems to care as little as Trevor about his grades and just waves him through absentmindedly. He thought he could give it to her, but it seems not. With a little apprehension he walks into the office and hands Mr. Litt the package. He’s about to walk away again when Mr. Litt stops him: “Not so soon.”

“I’m sorry?” he replies, confused.

“This right here,” Mr. Litt points at the package, “can sink or close a multi-million dollar merger. I am not letting you go before checking if you did your job correctly. If a sheet is missing, you’re going back there and getting it, understand?”

“I have other deliveries to get-”

“No,” Mr. Litt cuts off his protest that he has other work. “This might get me my promotion and I’m not letting you screw this up. So, you are going to stand there and wait or I will sue the shit out of you.”

Mike nods quickly, nervously waiting as Mr. Litt flips through the pages. He fiddles a bit and looks around the office to distract himself. It’s a hub of noise and movement with everyone walking like they have the most important places to be, not stopping for a moment as they continue doing their jobs even on foot.

A multi-million dollar merger, Mike thinks. These people represent the most rich and powerful of New York, maybe even the USA. And in a way Mike is helping, though he feels the most out of place he’s ever been in the sleek office.

Mr. Litt is still checking when Mike sees the man from the deal on the phone walking down the hallway. His gait is as easygoing as always, but he’s looking serious and his forehead is crinkled as if something is bothering him.

At first Mike thinks he’s going to walk by, off to the probably important thing that’s on his mind, however, he stops at Mr. Litt’s office, frown deepening. Mike swallows as doesn’t dare to meet the man’s eyes as he brushes past Norma’s desk.

“What are you doing, Louis?” the man asks. “You’re not working on some pro-bono case, are you? Didn’t you hear Jessica, we need all hands on desk for this merger. Not busy ourselves with,” he gives Mike a judgmental one over, “teen boy band rejects.”

And of course, he knew the man would be like all the others, but with the world he build for him, it stings more than expected.

“I’m not working a pro-bono,” Mr. Litt replies, tension between the two men rising. “And I know what Jessica said. I’m looking over the paperwork from Rand, Kaldor, Zane’s office right now, this kid delivered them. I do my due diligence, so he’s not leaving until I know for certain that he didn’t screw up.”

Mike gives the man an awkward smile as the man’s look changes from misprized to intrigued. He asks: “It’s already here? What’s your name, kid?”

“Uh, it’s Mike, Mike Sorkin” he answers, giving the false name he’d used for work, stumbling after being addressed so suddenly. “I- I work for Fly Delivery. Look I-” he steels himself, “I get this is important, but I have more work. I’ve already wasted five minutes here, my boss will kill me. Can I please go?”

“Louis, come on,” the man says, seemingly ignoring Mike again. “I’m second chair on this case, you should have notified me the second this came in.”

“Oh, yeah, sure, so you can steal all the thunder, I think not,” Mr. Litt snaps.

“We’re working together on this, Louis, together. You know what that means?” the man asks, not waiting for an answer. “Turning this into a competition will only delay us. So stop being paranoid and let Mr. Sorkin here go so we can work this case.” Mike is surprised the man even takes it up for him, which is immediately undermined by: “We know his name and where he works. If it’s wrong, we can contact them.”

Of course, fucking lawyers. Mike can’t afford a lawsuit and these assholes are just talking about him like he’s not even there or worth their time.

“Whatever, Harvey,” Mr. Litt says, revealing the name of the mystery man Mike just lost interest in, great.

“Good,” Harvey replies smugly. “Get those copied.” Then he turns to Mike and says: “Chop, chop, you’re free to go and all that.”

“Thank you, sir,” Mike tells him without meaning, as is ingrained, before getting out of there and biking away at full speed, wondering how he’s going to occupy himself now that Harvey has become one of the many faces in the business world. He wonders what the multi-million dollar merger they’re working on is all about.

He puts the whole thing out of his mind, even though it keeps niggling at him. It’s frustrating, he is so smart, yet no one will ever know or see.

If he had stayed in school, he’d breeze through college all the way to Harvard Law, he’s sure of that, but it just isn’t his path. No instead his path is biking from office to office as people shit over him because they think he’s just a stupid messenger.

Well, he’s the best damn messenger out there. He has a lot riding on keeping that job and needs to excel at something again, to keep himself sane. So they can all stick it up their ass and be glad that he’s even doing this job, because they couldn't do it and Mike is pretty sure he could do theirs.

It’s a week later that his boss comes up to him, grinning. Mike knows a grin means good news, but he can’t help but be cautious as he greets: “Hello, sir, what can I do for you?”

“Urgent delivery,” his boss tells him. “Pearson Hardman, for one H. Specter. Apparently he requested you specifically. Good work, Mike. These people pay well for this to be there within two hours. You’ll get a bonus if you manage.”

“Thank you, sir,” Mike says, internally wonder if the H. stands for Harvey and why on earth the man would request him after being a dick last time. Though he was pretty fast.

“I have all the details right here.” His boss hands him a piece of paper that Mike scans quickly. The address he needs to collect the package from is in Brooklyn. It’s one hell of a trip to make, but Mike knows the way.

Alright, he thinks, this man is clearly asking for a miracle, but Mike will show him. He’s not going to give the man a reason to be angry with him and he does need that bonus. “I will get on it right away, sir,” Mike says, already hurrying to his bike.

He’s pretty sure the lady he gets the package from thinks he’s a maniac, but it help her rush along and he needs every minute he can get.

Jose nearly offers him a chair when he gets to Pearson Hardman. Mike is panting, but determined to deliver it himself, so he waves away the chair and gasps: “Specter’s office?”

“50th floor,” Jose answers dutifully. “Corner office if you take the left.”

Okay, yeah, Mike had been in that direction before with Mr. Litt. He knows the layout. “Thanks,” he huffs, collapsing into the elevator and pressing the button.

This time he’s probably looking even more out of place than last time. He is drenched in sweat, still slightly out of breath, but he’s managing and not letting the curious frowns get to him as he quickly makes his way to the corner office as Jose had said.

He still has five minutes to get there. So, he just keeps walking, one eye on his watch the other on the name plates.

When he spots the name plate with Harvey Specter, Junior Partner, on it. He almost cheers, two minutes left. He makes his way over to the redhead who is giving him a concerned look and leans heavily against her desk and says: “Can you please sign this off quickly, ma’am? I get a bonus if I do it under two and I have two minutes left before that disappears.”

“Of course,” she signs it off quickly, noting the time before anything else, which he is incredibly grateful for. Once she’s finished, she asks: “Are you okay? Can I get you some water?”

He hasn’t stopped to drink yet and he can feel his dry throat. “A bit of water would be nice, ma’am, but not if it’s an inconvenience.”

“With how fast you got here, you should be asking for liquid gold, young man,” she smiles kindly at him. “I’m giving this to Harvey first, alright. Just wait here for a second.”

“Yeah, take your time,” he says, happy to be still for a moment.

She hurries into the office and he hears her say: “Harvey, your files are here. I think you nearly killed a messenger.”

“What? Are you serious?” he hears a familiar voice reply as Harvey comes into view, just as he had been in Mr. Litt’s office. Their eyes meet and Mike straightens out, rubbing his nose awkwardly, stubbornly holding the man’s gaze for a moment, before looking away.

“Did you really say he’d get a bonus if he got it here in under two hours?” the secretary asks, sounding judgmental.

“I didn’t think they would actually get here this fast,” Mr. Specter defends himself. “I was going to give the bonus anyway. I was asking for a miracle, I knew that. But later, alright, Donna, I have to get to my meeting right away.”

Mike is pleasantly surprised that Mr. Specter knows he’s asking for a lot and was going to give them money anyway. A lot of these hot shots think the world will bend to their will and will punish anyone who can't deliver on ridiculous demands.

“Don’t forget your meeting with Dreibach Accounting at 4:00,” the secretary, Donna, calls out after him.

“I won’t,” Mr. Specter replies, sweeping out of the office with hurried steps. Mike scrambles out of his way, not expecting him to take a second and say: “Thank you, Mr. Sorkin,” before disappearing down the hall, the package Mike just gave him in his hands.

Right after Donna appears next to him and he startles again. She smirks at that, then says: “You got a thank you. That’s high praise from Harvey. Do you want something with the water?”

“Oh, uhm, no, thank you, ma’am,” he answers, not wanting to overstep and a bit off balance about the whole thing. So, Mr. Specter isn’t a complete asshole, interesting.

“Are you sure?” Donna asks. “Jessica’s secretary, Wendy, brought donuts. I could get you one.” He has to admit that sounds really tempting, but it would be more professional to refuse. However, it seems Donna has read his hesitation and conspiratorially she whispers: “I won’t tell.” Then walks away, leaving Mike to awkwardly wait in the halls.

She returns quickly with a glass of water in her hands and a donut. Mike drinks the water like a man lost in the desert and nearly falls to his knees in thanks when Donna reveals she also has a water bottle tucked under her arm for him. Between a sip and a bite from the donut, he says: “You’re the best, thank you so much, ma’am.”

“Ahw, I know,” she replies, which should sound arrogant, but she makes it work. “And just Donna is fine. Could I maybe write down your contact information so that we can call on you quicker should we need a speed delivery?”

Mike hesitates for a second. He’s allowed to do that, it would actually be good for him, because those usually include extra fees and he can use the money. It’s a good idea, he likes working for deliveries for Pearson Hardman, even if the urgent ones have been tiring. He decides the extra cash won’t hurt and grins: “Course, but I don’t have a fancy business card. Do you have a piece of paper?”

“Yes, here you go,” she produces a pen and some paper easily and Mike eats his donut as he writes down his contact information.

When he is done, he smiles at Donna and says: “I have to go now. I have to get to Queens before three o’clock.”

“Well, don’t let me stop you,” Donna tells him. “Have a good day, Mr. Sorkin.”

“You too. And Mike is fine,” Mike replies, then he’s off again, a rush of giddiness going through him.

He helped with something important for a case, if the reactions are anything to go on. He also just ensured that there is a big company that knows his service good. They want to ask him for more jobs that include better money. He might be able to buy two books for himself this month, or get a new messenger bag.

Mike can’t wait to tell Grammy about it, but first a delivery to Queens, then relaying to his boss that the delivery was a success and they have his number, doing a few more deliveries, before getting groceries and going home to see her.

While he does his deliveries, Mike wonders what the case was about. He picked up the package at the office of a big software company, though he has read they’re struggling in the economics section of the paper. Probably a hostile take over or something.

By the time he gets back to apartment, he is still in high spirits. He opens the door and calls out a greeting, his good mood disappearing when his Grammy replies with: “Hi, James, dear, there you are. What were you out so late for? Was school okay?”

This has been happening more often now. Usually she’ll snap out of it and not even realize it has happened, but some days he’ll play his dead father for an evening.

He knows he should be looking for better care for her, however, if he tries to hire a nurse, CPS will surely be on their doorstep in days, same for trying to get her placed in a care facility. Not to mention the expenses that all comes with. If he wants them to survive, wants to stay near her and not risk all he has built, this will just have to be his life.

So, he replies: “It was good. I had to run some errands for a friend, you know. After basketball practice.” He himself never had much with the sport, but his dad used to say how he nearly went pro, something Mike didn’t believe, but liked hearing about when he was younger.

He’s putting away the last of the groceries, when Grammy enters the kitchen and sighs: “You don’t have to do that, Micheal. I can still get groceries.”

And he can’t help the relief at the fact that he doesn’t have to pretend to be his father tonight. He hides it behind a smile and asks: “But how else would you know to get cupcakes?”

“Cupcakes?” Grammy repeats.

“Yes,” he confirms. “I got a delivery done extra fast today, practically a miracle. The company got my contact info, so I’ll be able to run more deliveries for them. It’s extra money, since they ask for me specifically.”

“That’s great, honey,” his Grammy smiles. “I’m still surprised they let a sixteen year old do this sort of work, but I’m glad you’re doing well. Even if you really should consider going back to school, dear. You’re such a smart boy.”

Mike hates how he’s always lying these days. To his Grammy about his job and why he left school, to Trevor as well, how he lies at his job about his age and name. How he lies when Grammy is out of it, or simply by introducing himself to people when he’s working.

But it’s all he can do to maintain what he has always known, so he pushes it away and says: “I might, Grammy, but I can go back to senior year whenever I want. Right now I’m two years younger than everyone there, might as well save some money for college now and graduate when I can get into college with other people my age. Or do you want me between the parties now?”

“Of course not, Micheal,” his Grammy shakes her head and drops it, again convinced of his lies. He sighs and goes to make dinner, listening to Grammy talk about her chess game with the neighbor, Mrs. Brenda.

They eat on the couch and spend the evening watching TV, until Grammy starts struggling to stay awake and Mike helps her to bed despite her protests. Once she is under the covers, he tidies up, before reading the book he picked up from the library yesterday.

After that life goes back to normal. Not that Mike expected anything different. In the paper he reads about the take over he had suspected would happen when he delivered those files. The line about last minute evidence, makes his chest puff out in pride.

He might not be a lawyer, but he’s sort of part of that world in a sense. He isn’t Robin, but maybe he’s pulling off Commissioner Gordon.

Still, as time passes he starts to wonder if he’ll ever hear from Donna again. His phone stays quiet and his deliveries to Pearson Hardman are all for the mail room to be delivered through the internal system.

Mike is about to write it off as him being a back up or forgotten or something when his phone dings as he’s eating a hotdog by a stand in between deliveries. He checks it and nearly lets his hotdog drop as he scrambles to reply.

The text he has received reads: Hi, this is Donna from Pearson Hardman. Please come ASAP, highly urgent.

On my way!, he texts back, stuffing a last bite of his hotdog in his mouth, before throwing the rest away, jumping on his bike.

He happened to be in the area, so not even five minutes later he’s walking through the hallways towards Donna’s desk. He doesn’t see Mr. Specter through the glass and wonders what sort of delivery this will be as he greets her.

“Oh my, you are fast,” Donna says, reaching for a file on her desk.

“I was already in the area,” he disputes, not wanting to feed into unrealistic expectation unless he has to.

“Well, it’s good that you are,” she tells him. “Harvey just left for the Tweed Courthouse, do you know it? It’s 52nd Chambers Street. He forgot his motion. He just left with Ray, his driver, when he texted me. I need you to get it to him before trail.”

“Of course, where can I find him there?” Mike asks, taking the file and putting it in his messenger bag. New, bought from Mr. Specter’s bonus, which had been generous.

“Harvey be waiting for you in the lobby, unless it’s nearing trail, then he’ll be in room 5,” Donna tells him. “Don’t be afraid to walk in and hand this to him, that sort of thing happens.”

“Okay, I’ll be fast,” he promises, before hurrying away, determined to get to Mr. Specter in time. It is a bit of a game with himself, a little race to see how fast he can go. With this traffic, he might be able to beat Mr. Specter to the courthouse if he calculated right with the time of the text.

So, he paddles with all his might past the busy roads filled with traffic jams. It’s kind of fun. He might hate why has to do this job, but he loves barreling down a road with top speed, wind in his hair.

He skids to a halt in front of the Tweed Courthouse and locks his bike. He’s just about done when a voice makes his head snap up: “Jesus, is your name Barry Allen or something?”

In front of him is Harvey and by the looks of it, he has just gotten out of the black car parked at the curb. It seems Mike beat him there. Then the comments catches up and surprised he states: “You know comics?”

“Of course I know comics, I have some self respect, you know,” Mr. Specter huffs, though he seems more amused than offended.

Just to be safe, Mike says: “Sorry, Mr. Specter,” as he hands him the files Donna gave him.

“No need for that,” Mr. Specter says. “I wasn’t too serious about it. And call me Harvey, Mr. Specter makes me feel old.”

Mike just about clamps down the ‘you are’ as he nods: “Okay, Harvey. Uhm, and, uh, good luck with your motion.”

That also seems to amuse Harvey and he grins: “There is no such thing as luck. And if there were, I don’t need it.”

“Sure, Obi Wan Kenobi,” Mike snorts, unable to help himself, despite the fact that it’s highly unprofessional.

Still, before he can apologize for it, Harvey laughs. Mirth is still in his eyes when he says: “You’re a good kid. Thank you for bringing me my motion, Mike, right?” Mike nods. Then Harvey hands him some money. “I prefer giving cash tips, hope that’s okay. Buy something to eat, you’re gonna need it if you keep going everywhere in a flash.”

Mike smiles and takes the money. It’s a twenty, score. And Harvey seems nice enough. Not as much of a stick up his ass like his colleagues as he assumed. Still, just because Harvey knows movie quotes and comics is no reason to be unprofessional, besides Mike doesn’t know him and he’s secretly a kid, so this could get weird really fast.

“Thank you, sir,” he settles on, before unlocking his bike as Harvey makes his way into the courthouse, while Mike picks up where he left off before his lunch break. However, he does buy a sandwich around three as a snack from the cash, the rest he uses to buy Grammy some flowers on the way home as well as laundry detergent.

He wonders if Harvey’s motion went well and what the motion was about. He also wonders if he can ask next time or if it is weird. Then he wonders if there will even be a next time. Mike hopes there is, Harvey tips well.

A/N:

Btw I have no clue how bike messengers or anything in the business/law world works, I am but a humble archaeology student, I know nothing, but the vibes are there.

#RR writing #suits fanfic #suits tv show #suits tv #suits #mike ross #protective harvey specter #harvey specter #OCs #donna paulsen #louis litt #Miracle Worker #Miracle Worker Part 1 #bike messenger mike ross #young mike ross #suits alternate universe #edith ross

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little-nightmare-gt · 1 year

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Remember this AU? Welp, it's different! Niki and her young brothers are kidnapped but saved by the Dream Team.

To keep them safe during a raid, Dream calls upon his favor from Technoblade (a fearsome Piglin warrior who's taking it easy with his best friend and nephew)

Niki can speak common but the boys are too young

The boys are benchtrio...

Humans, despite being a dangerous race, are small to the universe.

Everyone is mini giants...

DSMP is part of different sections of a pirate crew, Dream is one of the founders.

No real bad guy, just people being people.

Technoblade is turned into Technodad without his permission or knowledge and Philza makes fun of him for it.

Wilbur finds them all adorable and learns about humans from Niki.

Tommy likes Wilbur the most, after Techno, and tends to crawl after him when he's free.

Phil and Kristen are usually holding onto Ranboo and Tubbo, though they like to trade which kid to watch.

Wilbur is a phantom (undead elytrian, think born without a pulse but circumstances brings them back.) His skin is blue translucent and tough to Peirce. His tail is long and mostly bone, luminescent feathers are on his face like an elytrian and avian.

Technoblade is a Piglin Brute, (basically walking talking boarman with a pension for violence.) his skin in pinkish and on each bicep is a symbol of his tribe. He is a warrior and scholar, the first brute to achieve something other than warrior status. He is gentle when he needs to be and firm other times. His eyes are often red with gold irises unless he goes berserk. When he goes into berserk mode, then his pupils disappear and his red eyes glow. Yes he also has a Tail with a tuff of fur at the end.

Philza and Kristen are elytrians, (flying bird people, complete with talons and bird legs.) Their wings are on their backs and talons for claws on their hands. They also have long tails with feathers adorning it. The feathers on their arms are hard and often mistaken (or used) for blades, they harden when the elytrian feels threatened. (If in a supernatural/paranormal AU, these are similar to silver and iron). Fallen feathers can be used as gifts for friends, arm feathers (can only be removed from breaking or natural shedding) used for family.

Niki was used for experiments and fighting pits. The aliens found out quick that she'd do anything for the boys. (Either Axolotl or Piglin)

The boys were experimented on while she was in the pits. (Either All Piglin or ranging from red panda, cat and bunny(for angst) or mouse(more angst) or axolotl)

They will be a type of hybrids (or the same depending how I feel)

Dream Team- Dream, George, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Antfrost and Sam.

The Crew- Puffy, Sally, HBomb, Eret, Skeppy, Minx and JSchlatt

Gambit- Quackity, Punz, Karl, Purpled, Foolish, Slimcicle, Fundy, and Jack Manifold

#alien Technodad au #mini giants everywhere #mcyt g/t #owl imagines #owl writes

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severide-kelly · 2 years

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The Info Sheet: Nobody Touches Anything (S3, E7)

This is a *very* Severide note-heavy episode.

Severide gets back from his Vegas trip. The others greet him happily and he says Vegas was great and asks where Boden is.

In his office, Boden and Mouch are chatting when Kelly comes in. Boden acknowledges that Kelly looks good and the trip did him good. Kelly tells them what he did and drops in at the end he got married. Boden & Mouch are both stunned, before they both chuckle, assuming Kelly's joking with them. Boden looks a little worried when he realises Kelly's serious.

Kelly asks Mouch about getting her on his insurance and pension and Mouch says it'll take a while for him to get it altogether.

Kelly tells the rest of the firehouse about his wife. He tells them her names Brittany Baker, is a graphic artist from Tallahassee. He says they got married 24 hours after meeting, at the Silver Bells wedding chapel. He says she's coming by later in the shift.

The rest of them have the same response as Boden and think Kelly's winding them up. Herrmann is the first to suggest he's kidding. Realising Kelly's serious, they congratulate him, but are all surprised by the news. Herrmann tells Capp this is what happens when Kelly's left alone.

Dawson says to Brett that as she almost went to Vegas with him, it could have been her (This suggests that Brett considered it enough that she 'almost' went).

Casey goes and finds Severide and asks if he's okay. Kelly tells him once he meets her he'll get it and he's really going to like her. Casey says if Kelly's good, he's good. Kelly says she's looking for places for them and they'll stay in a hotel until they get a place. Casey tells him he has a place to stay, it's his home too, which makes it her home. Kelly's grateful for the gesture. Casey asks to see a picture of her.

The crew is called to a car accident. Afterwards, Kelly high-fives everyone and gives them all praise.

Mouch takes a minute to talk to Kelly about marriage before he sorts out the paperwork. He doesn't want to go through the paperwork unless Kelly's certain.

Otis is doing a pool on when Severide's marriage 'flames out'. Casey tells him not to be a dick but put's five bucks on 6 weeks.

Otis asks for more details about the marriage but Kelly says it was a case of they suggested getting married and they did.

Casey comments to Gabby that he's happy. Gabby suggest Brittany comes across like a stripper from what Severide's told them about her. She says the way he's behaving isn't normal. Matt says he's happy and it doesn't matter how he got there.

Boden has Herrmann in his office and asks him to find out what's going on with Severide. Herrmann says when Kelly gets like this, he doesn't listen to no one. Boden asks who can get through to him, and Herrmann says Shay.

Brett asks if Severide regularly goes off and gets married. Mills says as far as he knows, it's a first. Brett says she's just curious.

Brittany arrives at the firehouse and meets Brett & Dawson. Dawson's surprised that Kelly mentioned her becoming a great firefighter to Brittany. Brett gets weird and awkward around Brittany and leaves to clean up as she's covered in vomit.

Brittany brings 51 a huge box of donuts for everyone. She says they probably all thought she was a stripper, according to Capp. She says it all sounds crazy even to her. Herrmann says 15% off all drinks at Molly's in honour of the happy couple.

Kelly thanks Dawson and Matt for letting Brittany move in and says they won't take long to find a place. Matt hadn't told Gabby about this yet. Gabby says they don't know who she is, Kelly doesn't know who she is. She questions why Matt's okay with this. He tells her however things go with Brittany, Severide's going to need Matt on his side, so whatever Dawson decides, Matt's going to be supporting Kelly (I like to think that Casey, although he was doing what he could to help Severide before, realised when he said he couldn't rely on anyone and wanted everyone to leave him alone that he maybe wasn't doing enough to support Severide and this was the first thing he could do to show support for him).

Dawson asks Kelly if he's okay. He says he is and she says that she feels like he's been avoiding things since Shay died. She says she doesn't think he's really happy and that he's hiding and Shay wouldn't want that for him. He counters that Shay wouldn't want her putting her wedding on hold and she says it's completely different. Kelly tells her that different people take different approaches to marriage and says she should think about if she's hiding before accusing other people of it.

Brittany tells Kelly she told her Mum about their marriage. He mentions having a reception for family and Brittany seems to get a little distracted. Kelly brings her out of it. She asks if they're crazy and he says maybe a little.

Kelly & Brittany get back to Casey & Dawson's. They're very much in the honeymoon stage of their relationship and are all over one another. They rush to their room. Casey says he'll give them a week and tell Severide to find a new place but Gabby says she likes Brittany and Kelly is happy.

Casey admits to being a little jealous that Kelly can just get married and that he's tired of all the hiding. Dawson asks Casey if he's been talking to Severide.

Mouch goes through the paperwork with Kelly in Boden's office. Both Boden and Mouch notice that Severide quickly becomes a bit overwhelmed with all the paperwork and there it needs to be sent too. Mouch takes pity and says he'll file all the paperwork for Kelly as his wedding gift.

Boden congratulates Kelly and shakes his hand. Kelly asks Boden how long he has them down for in the pool and Boden says three weeks. Severide says he's going to prove him wrong. After Kelly leaves, Mouch admits to Boden he only has them lasting a week.

At a fire, a woman tells them there's a man in the cellar. Kelly finds the man badly burnt and clutching a box. As the man's being taken out on the ladder, he drops the box. Severide notices pictures have fallen from the box and they're all disturbing images of injured and captive people, male and females. Severide tells Boden to get the cops there and let everyone know not to touch anything.

Severide tells Voight & Lindsay about what happened at the fire. Voight asks Severide if he touched or opened the box and he says no.

Kelly & Brittany are outside. She's upset and says that sometimes it just hits her. He says he understands and it happens to him too. She tells him he saved her life and he tells her they saved each other. He says they should go home but she says his friends threw them a party and she wants to celebrate marrying him.

#Kelly Severide #chicago fire

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brooklynislandgirl · 6 months

Note

Mystery Prompts: Sinday Action Edition -- 8

Life is a Mystery || -

In their earlier days, once Beth had acclimated to Ron Kray and his Trader, she would oft perch herself on the bar back. Despite lacking height she would manage to get her toes on the very edges of the bar top and her favourite bit of affection was to catch him in the space between each leg, effectively trapping him for he was often to kind to push her away. He might tap at a knee, watching her nose crinkle at the corners with a quiet cascade of giggles ~thus learning that Beth happens to be quite ticklish~ or softly request his freedom which she would grant with grace. Much later on, she might get the brush of the backs of his knuckles in a stroke between knee and a respectful midpoint of her thigh. Respectful of her boundaries but still a soundless intimacy that brings dark eyes together however briefly, one of a million different caresses that pass between them. Tonight there's a lilting difference between the affectionate jailing. Through out the busy hours, there have been hands on hips and gentle squeezes. Lingering fond smiles and glances while she took drink orders or delivered them with familiar and friendly faces. Something about the sleeves rolled up to his elbows? The rumble of his voice when he made small talk with the pensioners at the bar. Every beat of her heart felt as if it were made simply by his existence and no one watching her watching Ron could deny the love that gleamed in the depths of her eyes. Once the last patron was served, the last glass washed and stowed away, she's turning up chairs while he goes to the office to finish up the night's paperwork. Ron's barely had time to settle into the ciphering when she lets herself into the room. She saunters slowly toward the desk after changing the music to something low and sultry. Rather than planting her backside on the edge of it, edging with a hip at the ledgers with its precise columns and careful maths, the desk becomes a compass point for orientation. Her skirt is hiked just high enough to allow her to slip onto Ron's lap, one slender leg on either side of his own. Her arms wend around his neck and she presses her brow against his own, nose tip to nose tip. She arches her back that the slight swell of her bosom strains into his chest even as his hand rises and comes to rest at the small of her back. The tip of his kinked pinkie brushes skin and sends a rush of goose-bumps skittering across her, and earns him a husky little sigh. Slowly she begins to grind her hips against him, all soft and warm and silk against impeccably tailored trousers, the man beneath them. A molten little smile crosses her lips before she leans just that much closer, haunting him with the sandalwood and plumeria scent of her, the slurred hush of her breath ~passion, not wine~ as she whispers in his ear. "Wan' you, my Kanuha. Don' wan wait."

#ronmanmob #A Fighter By His Trade|Ron Kray #Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters|Ron and Beth #London Calling|Legend au #Lost in Translation || N S F W

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the-firebird69 · 1 year

Text

We are handling bja and we do have the company Bayliner in-house and a lot of small shops signed on to us and they don't want anything to do with bja at all anyone also taking over his Warehouse business today regardless of what he says and we don't care he's a bum you just need to go there if we say we took it. He doesn't care about people and his fried and it's a pig I was saving them they get to work and they get pensions and place to get food and it's secure and they help do it and they like doing it it's really good stuff too and there's a lot of it and a son wants to be able to access things like that without having these moronic asinine cheapskates we just don't know anything about life at all in the way. Bayliner too it's going out of control our sales are off the charts as soon will be in Florida no we're there now and we're selling and we've got shops believe it or not they're going to go in this week and their Bayliner shops and there's a lot of places that carry the boat and they're looking forward to the new ones and their ours and we can have Representatives down there. We're looking for sales rep for the new yacht division and Stan says he can do it and so when you give it a whirl and they're inexpensive and his people can buy them and more local try and Max will definitely buy them because the ones that have some money and go ahead and spring for it and they're pretty big the yachts bare up to 165 ft, and most of the considered yachts and they're not open boats at all they're like big huge cabin cruisers and I started about 65 ft and it's not the true definition you need a captain's license over 150 ft and there's no change on this one. Stan actually has a course or Captain's course which is great and it's certified and he says Sherry can be his yeoman whatever yeoman is so they're laughing isn't that all the terminology but he owns it and you have to help build some of the world's most famous boats. Clever combinations of boats but this is a great company the boats are inexpensive and the quality and their beanie they used to be not beanie and their economically run 150 ft boat would be a nice fit for him and he likes to do boating like that it's the same kind of stuff that he does just go in and you more or you anchor and you going to town and things like that used to a dog s*** they're burnt out I've got a phone on him and he's trying to threaten her son if I can dog s*** buddy I mean we're going to melt you he's not aware of it but we have to get rid of them it's like stuff that four year old kids do and everybody's watching and everybody goes after your money that's some hefty dog s*** that's what he's been saying there's tons of that she know idiot s***

There are several retailers and we mentioned them and they're big and their big box and they were to sign yesterday and we had some glitches and we discussed it and went through it and negotiated and their big scale negotiations don't have time to talk about each locality if you want to change something along the way it's not measured it's fine but that's the way it goes and these people are huge f****** assholes we're going to start going through them now it was a jackasses kick those f****** off the bike he says they're actually going to wait down there at the courthouse it's the cops just to rest them all these assholes driving around circles should be arrested and wasting fuel on purpose trying to cause carbon monoxide poisoning

**signing over to us today is Costco it's a very big big box store it's all over the world and they have the most big boxes on Earth second only to Walmart but they sell more bulk foods than anything else and they're well known for it and it was very much needed and a lot of people are shop there and the membership is okay it's too much money we want to reduce it to like $20 it's a good reason for it because people just don't sign on I'll send it to sign on I really have to and you never did although he's yeah he really could have he was terrible

**it's a huge number of assholes out here already the only stupid s*** and we're going to dump that a****** one day they just kept coming it's the same guy we kept grabbing him and lots of end up in the incinerator miles would they or else would they be going this is a very big company and sell a lot of wholesale goods and it's pretty decent quality and mostly they check it and it's all decent I haven't seen much of it it's bad but they have some employees that really have to go and we're taking them out today and that brings us to a real winner

**Sam's social club and they put Justin to the ringer and they know about social security and then know about the hours just as a son did and does and they would not do it right for the price of tea and freaking China and he's the one who needed help and they're supposedly people who help with it we're firing those workers today here in Port Charlotte well we're going to give it a go and we're talking to clans was there a bunch of assholes oh what a way to take over just kind of puke all over people be nasty and stuff so it's stupid people do I guess what else can they do have a nice walk to court I mean these people are dumb as hell he was right too they got to go so everything is I'm going to actually just kill you and I have killed you before people like you and they get rid of your clan and family first and erase you that's how it works and it's the same smart-ass but Sam's is full of idiots probably half full I'm going to start firing them today it's going to be a giant number of them

**Ellie thinks her son is in trouble because she was accosting him everybody knows who she is and if she did it or not a lot of people say she did and are some things she did and those it was her assaulting him and nothing really happened to mention but she keeps on saying it did and is obsessed and won't let it go and probably will die again even though Brian stabbed her 39 times she still came back and we're killing his people or BJ's cuz they won't leave that's what Paul hesterberg said doesn't really work. My son's technique looks great on him he just says stuff like his friendly and hits him I tell you that guy is not ready for anything and we've been telling him out loud he's a stupid person we hate him all the time trust is a girl what an a****** they get tougher and tougher then they lost all of their businesses and they're losing all of their people a few days we will be teeny from this b******* that they do. It's too lanky retarded old people are senile as well couldn't get out of the way of a bicycle and almost drove her into the into the water what a bunch of freaking gimps they get off the sidewalk and go to the old rest home for Chrysler half dead already.

so taking the wrong way cuz they're old and lanky and stupid looking but they don't seem to be retarded but they are they don't move their arms they don't say anything your mouth breathers this is terrible it says look at the boat! Used to entertaining Hera so she doesn't get too mad at this morons. Along with those two and BJ's warehouse which we're taking over in hostile takeover that's what they were saying these morlock was saying to you Max the morlock that's right they're saying it's hostile takeover cuz they didn't have your permission to take over and there are copy and imitating people and a lot of you fell for it and it was horrible that's doing it too it's confusing the s*** out of them it's really easy so he's having a good time and he must you feel bad for him and he let him do stuff and didn't properly vet them or interview them or get their plan and so horrible he didn't believe idiots were telling him.

**there's a few more box stores like this and he can't think of what they are right now but there are some new ones there's Aldi's and they have some big ones and their prices are reasonable and their food's pretty good it's just not bulk it's just okay it's like a big grocery store and there is one more if he goes to on occasion no he never goes there cuz he can't find anything that he uses and it's like a big huge convenience store I can't remember the name it says hey good night do I get any clues at all any clues at all that I have to fish around in my memory and they can go around saying stupid s*** about it all day I'll get no matter what they say just got drop foot from being a dick I figured out something. And it is like the Dollar general and all those stores and he was thinking it you said Brad walked by so we couldn't do anything and obviously that was probably not the right comment and they're going by again it's a lot less lanky I think they're superhuman. It's about 50 of these dollar stores Dollar tree Dollar general the dollar store it's really amazing just tons of them used to be Penny stores they went out of business they were just selling like real junk and people are tired of it.

I'm going to publish since it's kind of the same subject and there's a few more stores and a retail

Thor Freya

I have to say hello having a tough time is so damn hot and it's trying to see shelter in a move them along now they're having a hard time with their over here near the courthouse and they're all realizing that they're stupid like when they turn the corner that's what it's funny and there's a lot going on here and I will know that there's a lot of people who are leaving punta Gorda and the same for good and we think they might mean it they're tired of being hassled by each other and the cops they want a new life and this is not it it's too hot here and people are too ornery and too mean they're finding out their friend is some kind of hot shot giant meaning and they don't want to be near it's not a pushover relaxed weird alcoholic like they thought I tried to break them for a while and they're getting crushed since big mistake is a stupid thing to do now the paying for it good

Hera

Olympus real stuff to say and he's working hard it is hot out and he does need shade and we're going to work on it it doesn't want to stand up it says significantly cooler so influence them to try and move

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tillerman1 · 1 year

Text

TILL JOY

translated to the word way too reverently by Thomas Jester

Ingmar Bergman June 1949

The Concert House. Sönderby climbs down from the conductor-lectern. The orchestra breaks up. Someone will advance to Stig and says that he has the telephone.

STIG: Hello. Hello.

Then grips he of dread, throwing on the receiver, takes rock, hat cum fiddle cum runs below for the stairs.

He goes very fort through the streets.

It is a Scanian morning with heat in one sunburst and cold in the shadow. One god's train takes itself gently and panting over from the ferry to The Central Station.

A ship honks in the port.

So go egg white geese outside in The Sun.

When Stig comes in through the door at home sits one large old female cum waiting on him. She travels herself –

GRANDMA: I am Martha's grandmother. I the ring till you at The Concert Hall but I could not speak. Now have I sat here and stilled me some.

Stig gets nauseous(,)[;] can none say anything. The long-standing woman looks long at him. She is entirely calm. Her voice betrays no emotion –

GRANDMA (after lull): Your wife and thy daughter Lisa is dead.

Stig beats the hands for the face and wavers till, since stands he as lame –

GRANDMA: I was not inside when it happened. The spirits-kitchen exploded. We heard the bang and came running. Martha sat on one floor with Lisa in the embrace. She was to consciousness fast[;] she was very burnt. The little girl was dead already. Martha wanted didn't release the child from one defiance there. I bath till God that he would let Martha may die too, and he pitied himself over her and took away her suffering. She died in the car till the infirmary. Lasse vet nothing. [sic] He was with uncle Axle and ate.Stig answers none, is still immobile –

GRANDMA: The Lord has slapped you. You should humble your heart and seek peace with him. Nobody else but him can help you now in your great oppression.

STIG (low): Stop with that there.

GRANDMA (calm): That you want. Nevertheless has me come till you for to reason about burial and other practical details.

STIG (screaming jarring): Not now. Let me get being alone. Go your way. Go so I escape seeing you!The old obeys and approaches oneself the door. There turns she oneself about, has the presentiment of contempt in the voice –

GRANDMA: In the morning need ourselves in all fall possess a conversation. At otherwise fall become I forced shop after own discretion. I promise that I don't further will talk with you about the divine thing, as you seem embarrassed by it. I meant well with the I'm told just.

She goes from there and leaves Stig alone. First walks it around the moment, then folds itself the knees cum he sinks below on the floor only crying doesn't. The Day stops cum pines around him. It becomes dark and still. The fog comes rolling out from a sea cum distant as through a dream hears he of the mist lurking's dull cry –STIG: Now may I not live longer. Now may man not live longer. Martha … Marthamarthamarthamartha … Beloved … beloved … He sees the doll with that long yellow hair. She lies where Lisa has submitted her the day before. He can hear Lisa's laugh – LISA: You can not follow with till grandmother. You should lie here and sleep under the sofa until I come back. Then becomes you so glad. Now to thou sleep. Right adjacent sit ear, adjacent sit heart thumping, perceive it her voice, questions, laughter. Out there sits the bear that lost a head(,) but Martha sewed firmly it again. Now has he always the head at oblique, the stacks. It is no longer the fools. It is a great harp that rights its strings. The Time sinking back … the room … Martha … The Concert House. Autumn's first repetition (rehearsal). The orchestra sits and rights. It is a hell racket. The majority of them think that it will be nice to start a new season, if not else so for the more regular income's sake. One and another sour-pot exists admitted who mostly looks forward to the pension, but he disappears in the general friendly confusion. Then comes Sönderby, the conductor, the orchestra's chief cum leader. Cade most antique man, pretty small. (He is one incorruptible if also slightly dry interpreter of the great masters, burning with not particularly strong but pure flame. Some walk flaming him. Then may he'll dimensions. This orchestra is entirely his creation. He has many enemies and few friends. That is Sönderby, gnarled and ripped as a run(e)-stone, an anti-Romantic gentleman.) He steps up to the desk, polishes the nose cum strikes up a score.

SÖNDERBY: Currently starts us some new season. For air self portion think me it is comfortable. I vet not what you think. I have to greet two new members welcome to Hälsingborg's Orchestra Association. This is Stig Eriksson. Up Sunken that died over (this) summer. God rejoiced the soul.

Stig Eriksson looks down, turns a note-sheet cum looks at a second page. (He is a shy person, looks out like 23 but is 25, operating to be a barn butt.)

SÖNDERBY: Later features we received hit a woman in the orchestra. It is slightly ludicrous and entirely against nature, but she is the helpless gifted. Sits gone there, unless you not already have seen one. She named Martha.

He points with the baton away to second the violins, where Martha sits. All watching. Martha is yet less shy than Stig Eriksson. She looks back and looks very wise out –

SÖNDERBY: You are welcome. (The) city (is) called Sundets pärla [The Sun's pearl]. [Informative with very strong intensity] How (do) pass much pearl there is in the winter will you enough to probably experience, where the fools moo like some hop cows trapped in a freight pocket. It can get one on the nerves. – In start us –César Franck's First[Translator's Note: actually his only] Symphony.

Sönderby raises the arms - stillness - concentration. Down six measures add him anyway down the baton, does off the glasses, shines the nose. The orchestra stops playing cum a gloomy atmosphere expands itself in the congregation –

SÖNDERBY: But my masters!

He says this with a tone and an expression which not is to misinterpret –

SÖNDERBY: Let me get the blows from the start.

The blowers play their effort, ends.

SÖNDERBY: Now get me the strings.

The strings play.

SÖNDERBY: Now takes us everything - all!

It sounds different. He sings to himself, looking neither glad nor sad outward, but his face is still and pure like a craftsman leaning over their hand's toil. The repetition (rehearsal) is over –

SÖNDERBY: It has sounded fair today, but that is entirely natural. God noon mine gentlemen and … the dame. [sic] On Thursday comes Cortot. It becomes music that.

Stig Eriksson packs together and draws himself out at the musicians' foyer –

MARTHA: Hello Stig. Goodday goodday. [sic] Think to we would arrive hit. How have you had it with summer? Have you met Postis any? I have been abroad with my brother and heard one mass score.

STIG (looking at his nose): Well.

MARTHA: Thou self then?

STIG: Summer orchestra.

MARTHA: Wretch!

STIG: It passed weal an only didn't it where Gold and silver had been composed.

MARTHA: Have you worked any then?

STIG: Indeed(,) it has I. I have worked into Mendelssohn you and so have I …

MARTHA: Why sound you so enraged?

STIG: … a pair new fine things. Why would I sound enraged? Have YOU got hold of somewhere to live, huh?

MARTHA: Yes for all part. [sic] And you?

STIG: Pure horror. But it is cheap.

MARTHA: I have [a] birthday. There cars some departure for tonight, will you come?

STIG: Have no lust. What becomes it?

MARTHA: Sheep you view about you will.

STIG (embarrassed): Can you lend me a ten? It is so damn awkward to go and take advance first the day cum self knows nobody here at the construction, so can you lend me, so be it delicate the fishing.

MARTHA: If you will in tonight as.

STIG: It is extortion. But may I borrow twenty bucks as pledge me to come.

MARTHA: Are you sheared then also?

STIG: Will I cut me also, what is now it for any!

MARTHA: Then shall you purchase a present at us for uppermost one and fifty cum late shall you try being glad and kind and not scream and shout and swear and carry you at which you always did before.

Following these order attitudes gives Martha Stig Eriksson twenty crowns and dep Stig comes out of the barber, looking out like a licked cat He stands long in front of a street mirror, staring at his revelation as he finds extraordinarily ridiculous and jarring. Now dive Marcel up behind his spine –

MARCEL (cheerful): What valid the matter?

STIG: I curse my fate.

MARCEL: You look incomprehensibly comical out when you are new-clipped and water-combed. Is it Martha that tricked you till that where?

STIG: Thou so you know her?

MARCEL: Course. I have enjoyed together it with her almost all summer. And you?

STIG: Not whatsoever. Only from Ackis.

MARCEL: She has an outstanding character, but she is colossal frivolous of itself. Alert on love if you understand what I mean.

STIG (disapproval): I have not asked for any analysis.

MARCEL: She made out with us away one stuff way that I almost became in love with her and offered her marriage.

STIG: Well?

MARCEL: I stopped myself unto closing moment, but it was close as only this.

STIG: So. I am not interested.

MARCEL: So then goes you not to the party on tonight?

STIG: Have no time and no lust.

MARCEL: You are coming mountain ice. Take the fiddle with you as taking me the cello cum so do us some music before we become drunk.

STIG: Take the fiddle with you as taking me the cello cum so do us some music before we become drunk.

MARCEL: Cheerio.

They divorce at cum Stig wanders up towards Prästgatan. On the road is it a toy business. He stops and looks at the window, where is a toy train, an electric that cotters round and stops, signals lit cum one other procession sets running. He goes in of shop, regards it around. A person comes and asks what he wants –

STIG: I want something for one and fifty.On a celebrate sitter a yellow small bear. It has a melancholic facial expression. Stig points to it –

THE PERSON: That is costing 4.80.

STIG: I take it anyway.

THE PERSON: Should I flap in it?

STIG: Refusal self takes him as he is.

The person brings down the bear from the shelf and puts it in Stig's hand.

STIG: He looks nice and sweet out, think I.

THE PERSON (impersonal): Well, they here little the bears are indeed much popular.

Stig gives the person a look and walks outside clock the toy store. Martha's apartment. When Stig will till the birthday party is he already quite drunk. The celebrations have reached long cum all are loud. A gramophone plays unobserved.

Martha comes and opens and Stig fumbles with the coat -

STIG: I thought not comma name and really may I not understand why I should be here among a mass idiots. But you have right bought me so now may it good happened.

MARTHA: Too bad that you didn't come earlier, for presently are all the feeding already eaten up. Marcel at upward your portion also, though I tried to hinder him.

STIG: That can self so well imagine me.

The room is little cum cigarette smoke impenetrable. The lighting dampened. Anker takes out his flute and starts playing. All silences and listens. Anker sitter away a table's edge. His sight glimmers, facial is sweaty. The music stops by horrible signals on the doorbell cum a great alarm breaks movable in the vestibule. A horde of persons arch in and meet the tambourine –

MIKAEL: It is just me. But before I he make-up on me and change and get away from the theater so became we few subparagraphs.

MARTHA: It was fun, but there exists not much left.

MIKAEL (2 liter): We have.

All trains presently in and greetings little hit and where everything as it falls itself.

BERTIL: End up with them where they curse the stupidity!

HANS: And then hit him the fist on the tin ramp and said: Stop up with them where they curse the stupidity!

All the acts laughing as they turn themselves, but the other which not is inaugurate sitter of which question-sign. Anker is additionally black for that he not can play finished. Mikael Bro approaches himself Stig –

MIKAEL: It is one history understood you. It is indeed quite funny. I will share it any time for you when we have more good about while.

Someone brings out a cheer for birthday's child. Stig gets a glass with aquavit and all cheer, where after man drinks. Over pure the confusion overturning Stig of itself everything together and hits as of by club kind. He sees a female body and a light rectangle. It is the kitchen cum Martha is in the kitchen. He wavers up against the bright the rectangle, chop while in the girl, tries kiss her -

MARTHA: Let car me currently and was don't dumb.She does herself free without unkindness. He turns himself about and gets sight of Marcel, who stands right next to and grins with the cello in the fist -

–

STIG: What grins you tight[at]?

MARCEL: At you as clearly.

STIG: That can you get fan(hell) for. But since you are drunk so want I don't make you ill.

He starts cranking with the arms, everybody speaking with lips on each other, juniper wood gramophone comes in time. Marcel and Martha dance. Stig ports in a sofa, where sits the actor Bertil –

BERTIL: I am huge when I'm standing in the scene. It is RADIATION.Stig stares at him. He is enormous. The music pounds –

BERTIL: When I become seized when understand thou is I'm like a tank. I'm playing as they may weld unfastened me from the floor after the show.Then gets the evil[-]led Satan in Stig. He steps up and holds a long talk -

STIG (with resounding voice): It can happen. But have you heard me play violin then? I can tell supposing for yourself that all world-famous violin masters are charlatans cum they live on procedure and vaudeville trick. But I see through their tricks and art. For seeing thou the secret of the real art is that it creates then man is unhappy and see thou I prefer to be unfortunate cum it shall the gods know that probably is I me for the most in that predicament. And I shall show all bastards what it would say to play away violin.

[neutral with very strong intensity] Here canceling he it - the voice breaks - and he beats fist on the table as to glass and bottles jumping and staring at the assembled with exploded-red eyes. And when he notices that he across the use of its enormous voice means has created silence and gloom, fits him in to lay in one coal extra-

STIG: Now sitter you all there and has poorly conscience - I know all that you think me: Are we artists we as only think about drink and woman and pension. I am full (drunk) myself, that vet me. It allows me, for it is a slip-up. And be me not full so would I not dare say one only smack. But presently can I say that I in all fall have seen through both you and me myself with for that part. And I'm saying: Take away that only, take away that! For it is none to have. But I shall at all damn die and stand up again cum then shall I let you consult on violin playing. For humility is even so it the will an at, arrived remember it, era uncanny slops, as sitter there silly in the beads and drools and burps with spotted ties.

Here beats him again the hand on the table, but the table is for tiny or maybe has it moved on itself, so the hand beats in free the air, in which Stig Eriksson ports on the floor. There begins him crying, partly of the pain, partly for that the floor swings cum partly from pure self-pity –

MIKAEL (leaning himself over him): Take a cigarette. Here is thou fire. At least so where yes, smoke now calm and stop crying. That here is first the people. Keep boy, it becomes much worse, but I shall not startle up you.

MARTHA: What feel you?

STIG: Eh(,) hear you pull end in on the evening song(,) huh!

MARTHA: Oh(!)[,] shame out you! Where have you incidentally been and clipped you? You look outward like a scalded pig.

STIG: It is right your fault there.

Then laughing her and disappears into the now about possible denser tobacco smoke. Stig puts himself up and holds hands about the head, then feels him ill and falters upward. Someone does him till the bathroom, teeth the light cum bars the door. When he eased himself[,] opens it and staring out into the room. The piano bangs some jazz, man sings.[sic] He hears a girl who laughs uninterrupted and glimpses them the dance[sic] pair. Man has placed a table lamp on the floor(,)[;] it becomes full of shadows on the ceiling and off the walls. They Rachels about each other without order. Stig becomes so resigned and single-handed despondent at the spectator of all this and over his peculiar fill that he thumps the head into the door post so that it rattles. The tears running, but currently cries he of actual terror and loneliness-

STIG: I can none understand who self is and why I none can be like a decent person as self is talented - for that is me. Self is very talented, as self is full (drunk).

Then familiar he delirium and finds himself forced to crawl together into the bathtub with hands for eyes. The last he sees before he loses consciousness is Mikael Bro's sweaty countenance which leans itself over him and breathes on him -

MIKAEL: Have you met my spouse Nelly? I'm assuring you that it is an acquaintance to make. One small amusingly animal with a mouth like a red bloom. I would take home yourself and leave you as a present to her. That would she appreciate.

But when has Stig already sunk together definitive. He wakes middle of the blackness and screams into the high sky, trying protection himself cum the arms. It is already too late(,)[;] the ceiling falls soundlessly down at him and crushes him. He feels how someone takes him on the shoulders and shakes him. Time wakes him truly and finds firstly how he lies on a sofa in a strange room and secondly that he is thundering sick. It is Martha who sitter there and shaking him -

MARTHA: Why shouts you?

STIG: Well, the ceiling tumbled down. Though now see me that it only was the white curtain. I must compose myself up. Self is certainly awful sick.

MARTHA: You took it a little sudden.

STIG: How very is o'clock and where is me?

MARTHA: The clock is five cum thou are home with me.

STIG: Why it when?

MARTHA: It passed not to transport you.

She pats him on the hand and smiles. Her eyes and teeth glare. Stig discovers that she only has a nightgown on herself cum with how he is much weary tries him to embrace and kiss her -

MARTHA: Refusal yet kind Stig, fight not now.

STIG: It is well you which hassles.

MARTHA: If thou not holding yourself calm as get you run eyes-curve.Then states Stig its seduction-attempt -

STIG (with deep self-pity): Self is awful ridiculous.

MARTHA: It is you.

STIG: Such which I should not get live.

MARTHA: For all part.[sic] You do none for when. But probably could you have purchased a birthday present at us, near I begged you so beautifully.

STIG (triumphant): That has I!

MARTHA: Have you? But you have naturally forgotten it native.

STIG: No. No refusal. Wait. Where is my coat somewhere?

He travels one and falters about in the room, finds the jacket, digging in all pockets. Martha looks on and looks very mistrustful outside -

STIG (screaming): Here is it! You might think it is stupid, but it was the only self would find across.

But Martha becomes right caught. She gets so caught that she no come herself for cum to say anything whatsoever. She only does bear and places it on the sofa's armrest cum looks at it. Stig puts himself beside it cum it has her head turned away cum it will that look on her neck. It is a girl-neck cum neckline is downy smooth. She turns her face to his and looks severely at him -

MARTHA: Thanks(,) kind Stig. It was one jolly fine birthday present. But now shall you lay you down and sleep for us have repetition o'clock nine.

Stig obeys. Martha pads off to her bed, yawning a little. They lie silent and look out into the risen dawn light. The white curtain bulges itself in the open window. The bear's eyes look inscrutable outward(,)[;] he sitter (sits) there and glances at Stig.

STIG: [Neutral with very strong intensity] It can happen that man bears himself crazy and ridiculously at, but the central sake is well nevertheless that man WANTS wax a correct person and artist.

MARTHA: Good night now.

STIG: Yes, but that holds you well with on?

MARTHA: Yes[,] it makes me. Good night.

STIG: Good night.

MARTHA: Good night.

It has become fall in seriousness. But this here is a Sunday with sunshine like yet heats, but it blows cum in the shadow is it biting cold. Martha cum Stig sitter wide a sea. Stig throws then and then a stone in the water –

STIG: Sönderby is elegant it, that vet man now, as man has worked with him for over a month.

MARTHA: He is a little dry.

STIG: It does proper nothing.

MARTHA: Might you will be like it then?

STIG: He has done much beneficial cum that would I also desire.

MARTHA: You have the time for yourself.

STIG: Self is 25 cum near man is so pass ought man get been someone - someone with RESPONSIBILITY.

MARTHA: Think me are pleased me.

STIG: Might will start a string quartet, a that is right nice and exclusive and as tours roundly all the world. We would be best.

MARTHA (smiling): It is clear.

STIG: You have one particular way to grin that I don't fancy on.

MARTHA: I feel kind only, so is all the fifth.

STIG: You when? What are thou for one? What wants you then?

Martha jerks on the shoulders and darkens small. She begins digging a hole among the stones –

MARTHA: I would have mine below me long down, so nothing came at me.

STIG (sceptical): Thou are well not unfortunate?

MARTHA: Some have an affected happy expression.

STIG: When I think after so have we only chatted about me when we hit. I vet not one bar about you.

MARTHA: It is funnier both for you and me.

STIG: Talk not rubbish now.

MARTHA: Care you you it minimal about me?

Completely sudden are her eyes right black. Stig looks at her and becomes a little confused –

STIG: What mean you?

MARTHA: You have willed extend in bed with me now of a month cum you have not received that. But if you might lie down with me, would you then care you the least about me? Reply honest! Thou do not be timid for to offend me. – There see you! You can none answer!

STIG (somewhat cranky): I must well think after first. That is clear that man has pondered over why you have been as troublesome and made so much difficulty. But we have right actually had quite fun anyway.

MARTHA: You answer not to my question.

STIG: I understand precisely, though thou thinks me is [an] idiot. You would have insurance on that I love you, as the name in movies, else get you moral convulsions and that it is the worst woman vet.

MARTHA: Phew[,] heck[,] how you are dumb!

STIG (heated): Indeed chatter as so man understands!

MARTHA: I want that we shall keep together.

She says this in a completely naked way cum her eyes are wide-open cum Stig may(,) for one moment (despite that he only is a barn rump), dig straight in on her heart cum he understands a small piece of one other human's loneliness and boredom. He becomes both astonished and arrested -

STIG: Forgive me. Man speaking so much hit and there and nearly never thinking man on that it is a person man chats on.

MARTHA: There has been so much misery, sees you. Then much laxity and indifference both to the body and the soul. Man cares themselves till finished not about anything. [sic] Man thinks that it should be in that way, that it is all the meaning.

STIG: Doesn't need there surely be any meaning?

MARTHA (passionate): Yes, so must it. And is it not so must man find away one, otherwise can man not live.

She turns away the head and beats cum a stone among the land reiterated times. She is much revolted and serious. Stig becomes entirely quiet–

MARTHA: I have been married. Yes, that vet you. But it became only cheat and hustle. I have cheated in my job well, been a little gifted as where. Practically the take anything I have taken myself for has been cheating. All my life.

STIG (a little weak): That there believe I don't on.

MARTHA: That is easy to say. But now would I don't that this here between you and me to become cheating too. It can be either or. – Became thou cautious now?

STIG: Man can take things for gravely also.

Then strikes Martha supposing and laughs. Her laughter is much heavily cum that sound pretty smooth -

MARTHA: For you falls this round like a play on words just.

STIG: That is clear that I want amuse assembled about you, so have you well marked. Man can well not amuse away and speak about eroticism and marriage at every turn[,] either.

MARTHA: I promise that I will be so kind self mayst to you.

STIG: We will not make any commitments.

MARTHA: We can pledge where another that we will be honest. I think that it is utterly necessary.

STIG: And then will we not bark.

MARTHA: No. And tired you or tired I, as saying we till and runs don't cum are considerate.

STIG: It becomes you who tiring.

MARTHA (laughing): That think you not on yourself. We will not make ourselves any illusions. It comes that be difficult many times. Trickier than what man can sit and calculate outward thus here on a sober caliber.

STIG (laughing): Now terminates we.

MARTHA: Vet you what we do. Now go us home and move your things home till us. It gets more practical and cheaper become it also.

STIG: That is nice. I hate my room. And I would beg given get rheumatism there in winter. But from and with tack monthly shares we the rent.Martha smiles against him and pinches together the eyes. Stig thinks that he has made one delicious agreement and just now is Martha sweet. He irons her over the cheek and the back with the hand's wrong side. So will they that begin kissing and it becomes much hot, something which they books with satisfaction -

MARTHA: I promise that you will avoid couch on one where uncomfortable the sofa, about you not particularly willing wants, catch.The concert house. Now is damn loose in the orchestra. Sönderby also. The hair stands like the brush, the glasses on the forehead, sweaty, furious, stomping. Two broken batons. The overture till Prodaná Nevěsta (Sold Bride a/k/a The Bartered Bride) –

SÖNDERBY: What have you had for yourself under Christmas? To this sacrament-damage city where it provided eaten and eaten! Hay sacks! Heard you that I said?

MARCEL: Indeed hurt that here is tricky, among the most difficult which exists.

SÖNDERBY: Exists none as is difficult for the who is gifted. But there exist lazy hounds and wooden skulls. Tag about from B! All together! Stop!

Sönderby throws the baton right out in the orchestra so it stands like a dandy arc -

SÖNDERBY: It is any of the others the fiddles which playing untuned. Few consult on Persson! Persson sole from B as in Bertil. Please, may I consult!

Persson playing with death in the heart(,) quits. It becomes a horrible silence. Sönderby takes off the glasses -

SÖNDERBY (trött): Persson plays of untuned C-string.

PERSSON: Will it be so damn carefully can I stop.Then looks Sönderby on Persson, who of pitiful rubbings and twists starts squirming up its C-string. Martha sitter beside Persson. She looks sick and miserable outward -

SÖNDERBY: I account not out to hear this frightful cat-whining. Us takes time-out ten minutes, under which time Persson should think through his life and ask himself if he none wasted it.

Pause.

Martha and Stig travel themselves simultaneously, Martha yet somewhat wobbly. The exchanges about glancing. Sönderby heads himself straight one road up to the conductor room. Martha and Stig go after and tap on the door. They have one essential important matter. Sönderby snarls something which may imagine all between Stig in and Drag at hell –

STIG: We must be whether off.

SÖNDERBY: Are you not correct wise?

STIG: You promised unto last the week that we would get waddle before one cum now is her half two.

SÖNDERBY: Indeed yet when knew me none that you were so brainless.

STIG: Well of which fall so must we walk.

SÖNDERBY: So.Sönderby kindles a large cigar [be]for[e] to calm himself. He is exceedingly ungracious –

MARTHA: We will name marry us half three.

Then drops Sönderby the cigar. He till and with slaps himself for the forehead –

SÖNDERBY: Gosh, so has I forgotten! I believe I will who pension and stop. It acts endure time on it. I would right …

STIG: You would right good witness, yes.

SÖNDERBY: Indeed possess it was right splendid! Now sees me none another council than that we may dial till the mayor and eject on the wedding..

STIG: You are then not wise! Think you man fires on one wedding without valid reason!

SÖNDERBY: Think you man cancels a rehearsal without current reason?

STIG: Weddings were valid reasons till and with under a war.

SÖNDERBY: There here is no military band.

STIG: Sometimes appears it compression camp, thinks me.

SÖNDERBY: Are thou rude then rehearsing us all day!

STIG: Not with myself and Martha in any fall.

SÖNDERBY: There becomes in such fall the end for the lordship, leastways in my orchestra.

STIG: We make the art in your orchestra!

SÖNDERBY: Thou features received for small lubricating in your childhood you.

STIG: And you initiates become barn on again.

SÖNDERBY (screaming): Drag at hell!

STIG: I want none being in like place as you.

SÖNDERBY: You vet that I not may get this here angry. You are ruthless cum ungrateful cum self could get cardiac stroke and die.

STIG: There be quite the nice, so prevent you leastways don't honest folk off to marry themselves.

SÖNDERBY: There sees man the consequence of that take in woman in the orchestra!

Then faints Martha. Sönderby gets slightly horrified and looks himself around quite nervous -

SÖNDERBY: Refusal only what became it with her now then?

MARTHA: Nothing existent. I am only mighty tired.

She sets it on a stool and looks outward for supposing her thinking faint again.

SÖNDERBY: Thou playing only theatre. All female booms for that few its will advance. That did they already in my time.

Nevertheless(,) go he advance till the desk and orders a taxi -

STIG: Comes you itself then? Forget don't that it is the clock half three.

SÖNDERBY: I am beat with ill methods. But I will note it.

Then they will home become that a snare. Stig lies under the bed and rummages after a collar button. Martha goes into the kitchen and canvases for[?] full machine, for there will be a small party afterward –

MARTHA: Have you seen for in the toolbox?

STIG: Indeed[,] it has I[,] and in your jewel case and the headache box.

MARTHA: Spring outside and purchase one, then.

STIG: Indeed hurt that is right themselves the that a thing only disappears thus there without further. Are you sure away that you none has seen it anywhere?

MARTHA: What said you? I have no time presently fondling.

STIG: Where are you somewhere?

MARTHA: I'll come now. Here are I.She will develop till him and puts herself beside him. For a moment passes about panic over –

MARTHA (sighing): Stream what we have suddenly.

STIG (inconsolable): These that (getting) married oneself is one both period-soporific and maddeningly process, admit it.

MARTHA: Regret thou you?

STIG: To self be fair-dealing so may I say that I regret myself horrible just now.

MARTHA: Me cum. Such ideas man get occasionally.

STIG: Us calling cancellation.

MARTHA: Now? With we have set till one stuff awful life for that come off! What thinks you Sönderby would say then?

STIG (appreciation): You handled him fine in all fall.

MARTHA: How mean you, darling?

STIG: I mean it there with the syncope. It cracked him definitively.

MARTHA (small gloomy): It was probably authentic.

STIG (laughing): Attempt not with me. It was pure cut the amateur theater.Martha travels herself since she has taken of herself the stockings -

MARTHA: Oh where sees man. [sic]

STIG: Feed you real thick?

MARTHA: Think that I did it.Now stands her on the head in the stocking carton -

STIG: Why it when?

MARTHA: So is proper not so weird? Self is with barn, understand you.

Stig becomes right quiet. Martha patterns one brace hosiery and finds that they will do. She puts herself on a stool for how who them on herself -

MARTHA: Thou operating not particularly enthusiastic, think me. For all share, it requires thou none either.

STIG: But where seventeen has it gone till (more)?

MARTHA: I assume just in the usual way.

STIG: Do you not funny, for it is you not.

MARTHA: It was one stupid reply on a silly ask.

STIG: Have you known it here (for a) long (time)?

MARTHA (combative): Indeed said it has me. Almost three months now. Thrash me if thou features lust.

STIG: But why in the peace's name have you not said something?

MARTHA: For the here the young want I have, understand you.

STIG: Kids get man weal whether man would or not.

MARTHA: You are indeed naive.

STIG: Mean you that …

MARTHA: Indeed think it opines me.

STIG: That has thou never said.

MARTHA: Would it have made any difference?

STIG: Have you done abort before then mayst you make it one way till.

MARTHA: Refusal thou.

STIG: I think that all the sake is disgusting.

MARTHA (screaming): What is it which is disgusting?Now become her short entire raging in the eyes –

STIG: That you factually have gone and had a kid behind the back on me for three months. How seventeen will I know that it is my kid, huh?Then gets him a slap –

STIG (angry): Incidentally (Come to that) have us no means to have any barn. And no place either. In it here small the room. Diapers cum piss-odor cum lactation and barn-care-centers and baby baskets and babysitters and damn and your grandmother. And think about all cry and noise and where shall I exercise somewhere? No thanks, self thanks me for it the father's joy. And how did you intrinsically imaginary sequence it whole? One once had you good become forced to tell if it for me? Or had you perchance intended to come home and say one day: Please father little, here have I made a young at you.It becomes silent - terrible quiet. Martha merely sitter where cum irons herself over the thighs. She looks very cursed outward –

STIG: Well?

MARTHA: Should I maybe be about extenuation?

STIG: You understand certainly not this here. I would don't have any young. I execrate barn. And incidentally, think thou that this here is some wider world to propagate oneself over? I prefer to die out I.It becomes quiet again –

STIG (somewhat conciliatory): Why says you none?

MARTHA (resolute): I'm listening to you cum self observes that you don't have a presentiment of what thou talking about but crazy pure the snow moss. (pause) That common.

STIG: What wants thou I should do? To I end you in my arms and commence chatter if that guy shall become stats minister.

MARTHA: I would wish that you a single time spoke and responded like a man.

STIG (ironic): Cade steel man maybe?

MARTHA: A simple and natural man.

STIG: Now accuse her myself for that not good man.Hence pleads it out till an invisible auditorium –

MARTHA: That you were a toddler knew me and how you were neurotic and egoistic also. But that you are cruel and raw, that knew me not.

STIG: It was the worst.

MARTHA (sorry): But it was well that I discovered how the sake before we married us, for presently shall there not be any married.

STIG (horrified): Not heck can we ring cancellation CURRENTLY!

MARTHA (smiling): Imagine dome saying that women are so conventional!

STIG (shaken up): Indeed yet what will that THEN become to everything?

MARTHA: Now goes me down in a tobacco business and calling. I mean because you don't dare. Then can you why dwell remaining here so long you have pleasure. I have nevertheless never considered you as other than one compliance.

STIG: You are crazy - absolutely crazy!

She features stood and occupied with her bag. Now resigns her outward into a vestibule and puts on her hat and coat. She sobs herself and irons with the hand over some eyes. Stig discovers that she cries. Martha cries! He goes out into the vestibule and lays one hand over the door lock –

STIG: Why weep you? I have never seen you cry. Are you sad?

MARTHA: Refusal only self is tired. Away you.

She bends down the head and irons more one once with the hand over the eyes –

STIG (low): Have I ruined everything now?

MARTHA: Uh, that is it for prattle!

STIG: Why weep you then? You vet well the cheer me is.

MARTHA: I'm howling for that self is cursed over that I'm howling. If I don't be so withered ought I not howl.

STIG: You maybe thought that I would be glad?

MARTHA: Innermost inside knew I that it would be precisely so here. But that is clear that I imagined myself about mass things. I vet don't, that belongs possibly till.

STIG: Did you the last time too?

MARTHA: Then where right everything wrong. Then existed there no place for some imaginings.

STIG: But you mean that now …

MARTHA (low): I have right still thought that this here with us was something else. Firmly self should right have understood that nothing changes itself. Everything is the same always, till and with the words man says it cum.

STIG: Shit! I love you the.

These stated he whole unpremeditated and considerably more sincerely than directly romantically. He says this completely without thinking and much more sincerely than directly romantically. But it would he ne'er have said, for currently loosens all dams in Martha and her crying as it pours over her. Thereby, descending an angel from heaven cum submits to the confused Stig a line the inspire sentences, which he fits away to wedge in on suitable places between Martha's grey explosions –

STIG: Thou understanding, I have never liked SURPRISES. I recall that self already when I was jolly small just got scared and angry when people surprised me - also if it was something fun. I think that it was the same it here time. I must say that you could have chosen a more appropriate time. And then when I think after so get man particular child-contribution now. It is fine as pork there. We may let the kid supply us almost! And you (triumphant tone), you can them not move clocks the orchestral for that you are in the thick. The goes not now. [neutral with very strong intensity] You vet Putte's sister, that sitter of The Concert Association, she is on some report practically taken equal and it sitter there and files with the stomach in the weather - that have I oneself seen so - and then when she not can get the fiddle till the chin more for that the stomach sitter away so recalls I me that she gets semi salary. [sic] And it is yes clear that man can change floor if that would be.

Here whining the inspiration, but presently has Martha's tears past cum the practical understanding begins toil itself up from despair's black bag –

MARTHA (kind and concerned): How thou talking much!

STIG: It here about surprises is in any fall truth cum further is it psychologically believable.

MARTHA: Imagine so I look out. And my nose when always becomes double so large when I have licked.

She takes off her hat and lets it fall to the floor. Oneself sitter her on a stool center opposite the mirror in the hall and examines her bloated face. Stig traveling himself from the floor –

STIG: Say what man wants, the round becomes a wedding (such) as both you and I will how remember.

Martha travels herself and embraces him suddenly. They stand so long and hold about each other. Both there blunt and are right solemn –

STIG: Cum indeed has it gone up a Lily-islet's for me. [inspirational with 100% intensity, confident with 100% intensity & optimistic with 60% intensity) I mean former, former thought self that man utterly only should love yourself self, but Lord gad man becomes right older cum man mature and may learn her things.

Since it spatters sheep the no car, thus they take each other in the hand cum runs everything that the cloth holds, yet will anyway five min for late. Themselves ceremony is nevertheless beautiful cum perchance is it the joy in general or the condition which allows how Martha's sight becomes much large despite the crying an hour before and the skin works so translucent and the lips so soft. Or may are it just something that Stig thinks. For a tonight from the provender sitter Anker cum Sönderby left cum they play Mozart all four together away that way that Sönderby plays on his old viola and Anker has received lent a cello. They light candles on the note stand cum that has stopped how rain cum that night is the full moon. The white glow Robber almost of the light, but then account well moon precisely my of the window and shining on a Sound cum the city cum anything becomes suddenly dream and magic. They are alone now. Martha cum Stig sitter long at the window with the face printed against the pane. They say not so worst jolly harm those kissing each other time and time and that wash the marvel barn discovers them where the ice flowers turn out on the window glass –

STIG: He might become state minister. Leastways if he turns like you.

In the window lies something cum glimmers completely secretive, almost like a diamond. It is the collar button –

MARTHA: That will we save. That memory.

The conductor room. Sönderby walks forth and back on the floor and smokes. Stig sitter away the table edge and dangles with the legs, the arms in crosses –

SÖNDERBY: We have so 14 there for us and have gone through the concert two times thou and I. As wide I understand should thou can clear the sake helpfully.

STIG: Sure.

SÖNDERBY (strict): You say sure, yet I vet what you think. What says your wife?

STIG: Nothing.

SÖNDERBY: It was worrying.

STIG: Wager you both try your score is to beat down me in the footwear cum that might you succeed and one two three.

SÖNDERBY: To self be honest, so had I preferred to avoid this round gamble. But that will man do when a visiting violin virtuoso suddenly dies and tangles till all the general plan.

STIG: Thou envisages the sake which settled. What swell you on incidentally?

SÖNDERBY: That will I tell you. I'm standing and glaring at the ambition's little bastard, being sitter and waves in your eyes.

STIG: Yet late when! Is it so awkward?

SÖNDERBY: Refusal there is not the least strange. But you have been a half year in my orchestra cum you have not discovered that Music is the end and isn't a means.

How clapping it him on the cheek cum thereby is the conversation over cum they go down till the repetition. Martha stands cum waiting on the stairs. Söndery[sic?] leaves man and wife on that together contemplate the incurred the situation. Martha is at six the month and rightly ample about the stomach. Her playing no longer per in the orchestra –

MARTHA: Well, what said he?

STIG: It passed the road.

They start going down for stairs together. Stig is so glad that he trembles in full the body. They stay at a staircase window and stand cum looks down on the street, hanging out over the handrail.

STIG: Now have me my chance. Now to I show them what man should game fiddle. Then can here become that that ideally, understand you it, my little thick ice on the fat. Man [You] might get come till [to] Stockholm. Man vet practically taken isn't that which can occur. Think, it is a fantastic feeling to have everything widespread before yourself! To not know about any limits!

He rubs kindly his cheek against hers, cum discovers that Martha hasn't said anything in all time. He gets some huffy but hides it and puffs on her –

STIG: So tells you nothing? Thou are well glad you cum? It here applies right thee as much as me.

MARTHA: So is done self is glad.

STIG: You think just that it to go at hell.

MARTHA: I think it is thus scary that you take out everything in advance then.

STIG: That is good. None believes in me. But I will show you all - you too.

MARTHA: I know that you are very talented. That says all. They say it till and with little for willing. Now goes me home and laws lunch. You come well home till lunch?

STIG: I come home till lunch. Hope me may blood pudding with jam.

Stig kisses her on (the) mouth, wedge fort down the stairs. Martha begins heavily and carefully travel down. She hears the first beats of the violin concerto. She sees not particularly glad out. The public gives up one friendly welcome applause when Stig comes in jointly with Sönderby. Sönderby steps up onto the desk and strokes himself over the face. He waits till Stig has tuned and fine-tuned together with first the concertmaster. Since pending he out the rustle, the coughings and the whispers. Martha has placed herself to the side of the podium up in the scrub, where the radio blokes usually lay till. Of that place has her fine view over the orchestra and Stig's activities there arrive at the conductor-desk. The movement ends with a cadenza. Suddenly begins the G-string sink. In some moments has one sunk almost a one-half tone. Stig loses the grip, tries first playing item, grips sedan till a wild gamble cum transposes. Sönderby stands completely powerless. Martha bites herself on the fingers. Eventually interrupts oneself Stig and commences tuneup the fiddle. He attunes up the G string and stands a moment cum investigates it against the ear. In the hall is that soundlessly quiet. Sönderbys arms hang and fatigue along the pages. So takes Stig about the solo cadenza from the beginning. As in a nightmare and purely mechanically clears him one through. The orchestra continues immediately with the andante cum then is him drenched with sweat and looking almost faint outward. Martha can not sit placid longer. She wanders off and an in the little scrub, whispering for herself itself. Sweep. The applause after finishing the concert is kind but not exuberant. Then Stig comes out from the rostrum seeing Martha one new and else countenance, one embittered, bitten, almost old, foul of disgust and suppressed rage. The applause continues. Sönderby comes out. He is also quite wan however controls himself downright –

SÖNDERBY: Come!

STIG (furious): I'm going don't in again. Self yesterday isn't in! Self yesterday isn't in! Self is none zany!

SÖNDERBY: You go in! You go in, too over it is it last you do! It is not a matter about you now(,)[;] remember that!

He says this with one such commanding calm that Stig automatically obeys him. A janitor will advance with flowers. It is from the board, from the comrades cum from Martha. It is the bitter brew at the bottom. When Stig finally comes out, swingles him furiously the flowers on the wall and starts taking give at one hat and coat. Martha packs in the violin. None says any.

SÖNDERBY: The repetition is not until 10 in the morning, yes that vet you.

Hence takes him his hat and leaves. Stig puts himself on a stool and beats the hands against each other. He is pale and matt but furious –

STIG: Fucking crook! One such damn scoundrel! Now is it glad understood!

MARTHA: Come as go we home and takes a drink. The may we need both two.

STIG: Uh!

MARTHA: Yes came now. Here may we in all fall not sit.

STIG: He is a damn crook! One average potty! One accursed average potty!

Martha answers none but sets herself just beside her man and waits. Marcel will advance and pats Stig in the spine –

MARCEL: That went right over all the expected that there.

He laughs, pounding Stig in the back a time till for security's sake. Stig answers not, stirring himself not –

MARTHA: Hear you tighten so long the road hands, huh!

Marcel loses face slightly grand, shrugs in the shoulders cum goes away without a word again. That the night sitter the at bed together and plays cards, smoke cum drink gin. When the newspaper rattles in the mailbox just at dawn, passing Stig out and draws it cum hands the till Martha. Then sits him herself small remote in the rocking-chair –

STIG: Read you! It is better that you read!

Martha forages a long while in the newspaper, browsing forth and back. Ultimately finds her review and reads quietly –

STIG: Read high.

MARTHA: There is not much which stands there.

STIG: Clasp it as accounting.

MARTHA (reading): Stig Eriksson was for betimes outside in Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto. That is surprising that an old wise orchestra leader like Sönderby didn't put arrest for this rather unnecessary suicide. That is possible that Eriksson is talented(,)[;] he features right after what the enlightened in the program notice, the most solid school.

STIG: More then?

MARTHA: It says nothing more.

STIG: Stands the none more?

MARTHA: No.

STIG: Every it THAT bad!Away this answer none Martha. Stig presses together the palms so that that crack, he chews upon the lips for that none initiate weep, the drops sitter among the eyelashes cum he thinks that he bends together by one enormous pressure. He looks at a spot straight above himself –

STIG: You are well pleased now.Martha reply not –

STIG: Both you and Sönderby.

Martha turns away some head –

STIG: Think what all will laugh.Martha travels it heavily from the bed –

STIG: Where will you walk?

MARTHA: Thinking clod some coffee.

STIG: I would not have anything.

MARTHA: Refusal yet I.

STIG (vocal): You think natural that this here is shit same.Martha answers remain doesn't. She rattles with the coffee pan in the kitchen. Stig sitter remaining. He only presses together the hands time upon time. Martha comes in again, draws up the blind cum opens the window –

STIG: Close the window. I'm freezing.

MARTHA: I feel some fat. To only take a tweak wind.

STIG: Why says you none?

MARTHA: But Stig, what wants you me will say? Should I say that the concert went well, that it is the lie which stands in the blade, that everyone is wrong however you have right? Shall I comfort you, want thou it? Should I say that next time walks it better?

STIG: There become none next time - that vet you as well as I.

Martha closes the window and walks outside with the kitchen for(e) to get the coffee pan. –

MARTHA: If I were like you ought me nevertheless be glad for one thing.

STIG: What when supposing self may ask?

MARTHA: Well(,) how I would get waddle till rehearsal today the clock ten and sit as usual in my usual place and handle my job.

STIG (contemptuous): Where there shows right how little you understand! Now going I'm in any fall outside and takes me a walk. Alone.

Then steps Martha fort out till it and drags him onto the bed edge, takes on his head cum presses it against her stomach –

MARTHA: May I go with you? Kind Stig, may I join cum.

But he hardens himself seriously and pulls himself away.

STIG: I said right that I would go alone. I want none go and pull on an entire freight train.

Martha swallows, deciding to pretend as if she none had heard cum tube at his shoulder –

MARTHA: You go in all fall till rehearsal.

STIG: It may I see cum it concerns you not.

MARTHA (serious): You would not skew stepwise me so here.

STIG (mean): There is so much I not would as.

MARTHA: Man brights it better on man is two about it. That is me sure away.

STIG: Man is ne'er two. Innermost inside is man invariably alone. That there what you say is only talk and a hell crop sentimentality. Refusal, self is alone. Precisely like I always have been. And it is none more with it. Hey hello.

Martha dryers don't reply. [neutral with very strong intesity] She is just as dry and dead inside, sitter there heavy and small frizzy with the hair around the face, pale from night-awake, the feet are naked and some swelling –

MARTHA: Why are you so scared for me?

STIG: Afraid? That was comic! I would be alone, so is thus whole the sake.

And about where goes it, leaving his wife at their thoughts and general misgivings concerning the future. He walks cum sitter and walks again cum sun comes up and shines on The Core. A long while is he outside The Concert Hall and watching and hates till the honest –

STIG (with high vote): One stuff foully ugly house! One municipal shithole! One pack house would man can say. Someone kind home for swine processing! Pack houses for the package!

He speaks loudly and gesticulates. Then go he again and how he walks cum sitter and stands so bump him together to Mikael Bro, the old one look –

MIKAEL: So you are out and masonry.

STIG: Thou self then? Thou looks don't so glad out you either.

MIKAEL: Sleepless.

STIG (small mean): That is maybe one roll as holding in that car till (more)? A creation act.

MIKAEL: Not whatsoever. I heard Mendelssohn yesterday cum the was so nasty as me them dare didn't sleep on above.

STIG: It was kind of you to take it on the way. You understand it.

MIKAEL (laughter): Man vet well self - the great the silence.

STIG: Why laugh ye? All laughing. Is self funny in some way[,] or is that one purely coincidence?

MIKAEL: Clearly that you are comedic, as you are unsuccessful. But come now as go we home to me and get us a cup coffee.Mikael Bros home. Nelly comes outside from the dark bed chamber and greetings of Stig.

MIKAEL: You vet STIG, whom I spoke so much on. A very gifted boy. He has had one high setback cum now will you cum me be kind to him.

NELLY: Him blushing.

MIKAEL: You will not embarrass our friend without now will you compose you here and talk with each other while I go in and put on me the slippers.

Mikael takes Nelly round the waist, looks at Stig –

MIKAEL: Is she not sweet? Cute is way no correct word. She is … (laughing) But she is not kind, though she is cute. But that is one other story.

He releases her and goes in for the bed chamber. Nelly settles herself at a table, takes a cigarette, bidding Stig to sit. Nelly looks long at him –

NELLY: Mikael is such where, so I am accustomed feel you believe. Sometimes will him home with the most bizarre types. But it does nothing. I like if folk. Think about that talk. Mikael is so quiet by himself him so. Reads mostly cum that likes me about him (be)for(e). But it mayst right be fun for me to have someone to gab too. Geez, what here looks messy and vile out. Indeed won't cope man tidy every day either.

MIKAEL: Thou cleaning never my heart.

Mikael has taken off oneself the shoes and the jacket and paws around in the room, disappearing out into the kitchen –

NELLY: We drag down the scroll guard that eliminates man seeing misery. Imagine one time had we as fantastic here that a Healthcare board was hit and said that we would get advance if we none improved us.

MIKAEL (goes through the door): We had a dog at the time, understand you, but he died later.

NELLY: He received puppies. And then dead him.

MIKAEL: Probably in verge surprise.

Mikael sighs and lays themselves on the one the bed in the bed chamber. Stig looks at Nelly. She starts biting away fingernails, is for knee on a stool center opposite Stig cum leans herself forward over a table –

NELLY: Why are you so sad?

STIG: I had hoped a part to can catch the moon.

MIKAEL: In a net. [sic]

NELLY: And it wanted it none?

STIG: Refusal just who I would get upward that so wedged it out and disappeared deep low under me.

NELLY: As a fish?

STIG: No, not which a fish. That one wide coin.

NELLY: Ooh, now realize I precisely. You are one such like-that treasure finder, as is out on the large conciliate sea and fishes after sunken planets.

STIG: Indeed sees thou self had supposititious buy a bomb for the moon and blast a certainly pack house in the air - including the package.

MIKAEL (laughing): Distemper, boy! Word diarrhea! Blast in the air and skew together, slam the fist on the table cum fucking embrace at every turn! Then stops it always cum pension and medal for faithful service. It is like matter always.

STIG: Hold the jaw. Me speaking with your wife.

NELLY: Indeed mayst you take that self is his wife.

MIKAEL: Touching, huh!

NELLY: It is well nothing worth that being married to a thing old swine like you.

Those laughing both two, yet Stig cock himself and is very tired in arms, legs, head, hair, stomach, toes cum all other members and limbs. –

STIG: Now must I walk for self has repetition o'clock ten.

MIKAEL: Good morning my friend. Arrived remember that round are you always welcome, in what state you yet are itself.

Nelly has followed Stig out in the hall and puts herself absolutely against him. Stig looks at her breasts and gets an uncontrollable lust to squeeze on them, starts stroking her over the shoulders –

NELLY: Come shortly back.

STIG: Ne'er in a life.

NELLY: Why not the when?

STIG: Because to me think ill of you.

NELLY: It seems doesn't that.

STIG: Too is this here a shithole in more than one way.

NELLY: Vet ashamed!

STIG: Indeed is how you have good-looking dust harm consequently is it also come-off.

NELLY: It is none that little provided it.

STIG: The first seems you brand and altogether crazy cum if you think that self shares you with that there old the dirty lobster in there so mistake thou you. That bad is it not cum man is not at the bottom yet.

NELLY: Welcome again in all fall. We can right always talk. I mean about the moon and stuff.

STIG: Would be it when.

He opens a vestibule door. She raises herself on tiptoe and kisses him on the ear.

STIG: Refusal hand a heck in that there.

When he comes down to the street gets him the sew for Martha. She stays far away there as if she didn't would scare him. He stops also but realizes the ludicrous among that running away. They meet about away half the road.

MARTHA: I took me also a promenade. Though intrinsically hoped I probably mostly on that I would get hold of you. But presently can we go at was its direction if you want.

STIG: Have (has) been native at Mikael Bro one while.

MARTHA: So.

She sticks her arm under Stig's cum the introduces walking home side at a page –

STIG: Need we talk more about this here?

MARTHA: No refusal. We shall never above speak about it.

STIG: Well about time further on. That man has gotten something older may cum all doesn't do so hurt.

MARTHA: Have you made yourself ill?

STIG: Has me?

He rubs himself on the ear and looks at the fingers –

STIG: It is just lipstick, realize you.

MARTHA: So in that way.

STIG: That was one where significant the bird for persisted cum that she would kiss me.

Martha looks a little surprised at her man harm says nothing cum thus runs them from there. So sitter a nightingale in the big book outside Stigs and Martha's window cum the singing so that it holds on to go asunder. It is a night in early by June. In and then beats The Council House Bell full- and quarter-stroke. All the city bathed in moonlight and nightingale song. Martha goes forth and back into the room. Stig sleeps with opened mouth and little discreet snores. A car thunders past on the street. The night wind sighs in the trees only all the while uninterrupted, persistently, triumphantly sings the nightingale. When the labor takes in and she likings how she will explode, go her out into the bathroom cum bites in a large towel. Then introduces her one's walking again. Stig wakes up like a shot. He sets one up in bed and teeth the lamp –

STIG: How is it?

MARTHA: Well, now will it certainly go off in all fall.At [the] selfsame moment lost her in ye [sic] the bathroom. [sic] Stig will up and is after her –

STIG: Can I help you?

Martha shakes of head and bites at the towel. Then will be it calmer cum she wipes the sweat from the pan, sits herself a moment. Stig feels one also jittery in the legs –

MARTHA (smiles): Are you afraid?

STIG: Yes[,] that is me. Are you?

MARTHA: I have indeed not had any onward lust to feel after. But over any manner is that nice that it becomes by presently finally.

Stig pats her on the cheek and smiles bleached –

STIG: Self is glad that the none is I'm which shall till.

MARTHA: The is I'm cum.

Stig grows even paler –

STIG: The is I'm cum. Is it don't best that we give us off now?

He goes in and lays himself erect long on the bed, speaks with weakly voice cum sighs deeply(,)[;] Martha begins (to) trot around again –

MARTHA: None but correct. The silliest me would be able to think me be that judgment sends home me again. It would decidedly walk my glory for when.

Stig sighs yet deeper -

MARTHA: Poor guy. Shall I prepare a little tea for you and make to order a sandwich?

STIG: Yes[,] thanks. I can none understand what it is with me. Supposedly has been I dined something crazy.

MARTHA: At certain natives is it so wise arranged that: when the woman will food is it the man as goes to bed and the screaming and the berry itself the food. Only so takes him against the congratulations as well cum it is right not more than right. None true, Rise small?

[formal with 100% very strong intensity] They will come inside for a small white rap quadrilateral room with wall-fastened benches, one table middle of the floor, where: he is one number former printer, stands a Pelargonia and the slouch. A nurse will and disappears and in Stig seems to this frightening. One Sister comes and disappears and for Stig seems this scary. Then opens the door, highly light strikes in from the corridor. One new Sister reveals one, taking Martha's suitcase from Stig –

SJUKSYSTERN: Wants wife Eriksson follow with the here the road? Mr. Eriksson maybe is kind and waiting out?

Stig takes whether Martha cum wants to kiss her, but she is already far away on Other hold and nods small absent -

MARTHA: Shot Good if you Darling.

So (is) going her immediately after the nurse who closes the door. Stig sinks below on a bench. The small The Old Women thistles and tassels. Wide remotely can be heard anything as going the blood to is iced in Stig's veins. So is dull the roaring, unconscious howl, rhythmic decrement and increasing, gone a while, recurrent, rising and falling. The small The Old Women thistles and tassels.

THE OLD WOMAN MÄRTA: I have got one new prescription for cucumber. Man shall let it lie much longer only there should be more sugar also, sees Anna.

THE OLD WOMAN ANNA: Yes[,] that there stood in Husmodern as that know man right till. But may Märta imagine itself that I was at Emma on yesterday cum she had brewed wine all herself. We tasted away it[,] and I was indeed really on the snuff.

The little (The) Old [wo]Men cluck fond. The stun distant squeezed echo. Stig tries last for the ears, but this looks so strange outside that he immediately brings away the hands again. The big nurse comes in again –

THE NURSE: Mr. Johansson will walk home. The was well Johansson you called? Indeed to wherever fall shall you go home.

STIG: How is it?

SKÖTERSKAN (astonished): Where so is? Bonny to ourselves hope.

Hence vaporizes her. Stig goes home it. As it will in at flat hears he the nightingale trill and singing harm room seems it thus horribly large cum plot and single-handed. He sits one at a table. There stands Martha's sewing basket and his half-stuffed socks. On the bed is located her nightgown. He draws it to itself and presses it against the face. Entire the time singing nightingale. Concert Hall. Next morning is this season's last rehearsal. They play Beethoven's Symphony no. 1 in C major. Under last the movement comes one of the radio men below from his scrub and beckons to Stig, who disappears silently and still. The orchestra plays further. The strains float around them who blue sunlit water in the summer sea out there. When Sönderby gets sight of Stig when he comes in again taps him off [the] middle of a beat, putting away from himself the baton. –

SÖNDERBY: And so pending us on a report.

Stig has just sat one, travels one, at first can he not say something without standing and swallowing one long while –

STIG (whispers): There became twins.

There erupts a violent noise. A part of the orchestra provides touche, others cheering that at one international match. Stig's neighbors crossbars him on the back as he drops the spirits. It becomes that one great huge laughter in whole the premises.

At night get Stig to visit his wife in the sick room. She sees not in particular cry out. The skin is full of tiles, the hair stupid, the lips hurt and broken, the eyes fevered. Stig sits it on the stool wide the bed, putting his head next to Martha's on the cushion so that his mouth comes against her cheek. The bother themselves aren't about that: speak, but it is why either isn't necessary.

SO GOES FOUR YEARS. Now is it August. Martha's and Stig's summer house upward the coast from Hälsingborg counted. Sönderby is and greets in, lies in the shadow under one large apple tree cum pretending to sleep. A little bit from there lies Lasse and dreams on a felt. The other twin - she is Lisa - plays with Stig on the stairs. She is for themselves some work much busy with that scrubbing the threshold. Stig sitter mostly and watching on. [Formal with very strong intensity, Informative with moderate intensity] Middle of the plan sitter Martha cum devotes one at one significant doll as she has knit and for presently supplied with long yellow hair of woolen yarn. Bees buzz in the cress cum there blows mild from some sea. Sönderby lies there cum peeks at all the glory cum in cum then turns him one look towards some apple tree's crown and the wooly cloud peaks which hang on the tip. –

SÖNDERBY (thinks): It is comfortable how none exist Author. [Formal with very strong intensity, Informative with strong intensity]If I now till such as us myself to describe Stig and Martha from first the day they met for four yrs sedan, imagine thus hell I when would tighten on myself and what false, incomplete picture I would provide. Every time ought I may describe some determined episodes. [Curious with very strong intensity] I ought to tell about how they met, married themselves, got children, significant reasoning as they perhaps have brought, but if I told about ten of the threads that bind these people together, what comes it then from those other hundred thousand?

Now follows images, accompaniment Sönderbys number –

SÖNDERBY (thinking): [Informal with very strong intensity] I ought till example right safe forget away that episode last winter, as I came up for that leave a score till STIG (maybe too for that talk a little. Man begins car old and talks yuck. Man mayst fit himself as carefully so carefully.) The doorbell was kaput, so I only edged on me. I stood in the hall where it was dark and looked in at the living room which was illuminated. They sat on the floor and held about each other. None of them said anything but still was all the room saturated with their affinity. How would I be able to depict the set in which they held about each other, so limitless tenderly but also profoundly erotic consciously(.)[?] It was like music by Schubert, one of his Songs, but just this amazed me also: I mean the joy AND the sadness. So appeared there so much solitude and childish dismay in their calm. There was as one restraint sadness center in this one upper-case Joy. I had (to) go out again and so knocked self on the door. When Martha came cum opened had she everything left of her eyes. I felt self like a robber. Stig had closed again on himself already. But Martha shared with herself at me. Yes, she is a strange little woman. Nor how would I describe their manner to chatter about was another that till illustration now at the dinner. Martha was a thousand things to operate, but suddenly saying she "Stig is so neat when he eats." [direct with very strong intensity and informal with strong intensity) She said it as a joke, only who is me that I would be able to write down all the shades of motherhood and nonsense like Martha gave waist at just at that moment. Or the day when they had quarreled. I noticed it just clearly. It existed there in the air. Martha was a little quiet. She thickset crouched on the sofa and sucked on a sugar lump cum watched on Stig. He chatted all the time cum us injury that was one forced chat. He traveled one for that walk cum retrieve the cognac only on the road till the cabinet passed him over Martha, then crawled him up on the sofa, they looked at where another cum Stig said suddenly: Hello you small. [Formal with very strong intensity] This probable (have got) been one spell, for the printed the atmosphere, this undefinable wind as has been enrolled over the room, relieved and disappeared which a gust of wind from Open the sea. I understand it not and can none share about it. [informative with very strong intensity and admiring with strong intensity] Think to fill page after page in a workbook with those daily and occasional events, to decide the denomination on these one thousand tone fall, that: try to interpret this complicated classified language which two loving educates and the speaking unhindered to protection for their most secret and the finest sensations.

Sönderby turns himself on the side, lays the handkerchief to correct over the head cum finishes their reflections –

SÖNDERBY: To truthfully describe one only day of their life would fill many shelf meters of thick folios. Thank goodness is this hasn't my task. [inventive with very strong intensity] I located myself not in the unpleasant situation to require simplification, select, reject, maybe instead find of and lie(,)[;] I need only reproduce What the Big ones The uncles created in spirit and truth. It is also my pleasure that none can take from me.

Under time go Martha front with the doll till Stig and Lisa. It has both received hair and gown. Stig sounds it walk little hit and there, then takes Lisa touch about the. Stig lays it on the stomach in the grass. Martha puts it next. Stig tickles her with a grass thread on the nose –

MARTHA: I think that: I have become so moneyed.

STIG: Features you become moneyed. The has been you not spoken about for me.

MARTHA: I have you and the kids and old Sönderby as lies yonder and snores cum it is summer cum the sun lights up cum we have no worries.

STIG (irony): And all are we healthy and brisk. I as thought that you won away lottery.

MARTHA: For US is one round more than I ever thought one person could get.

STIG: Sure. You are female. For thee is it in one other way.

MARTHA: Think you? I may enough good nervous also and intend: Ska it car so here the rest of the life: small chores, small blessing, smallish sorrows, nothing entire, nothing which draws off with a. But the where: is a correct terrible thought which man should have thrashing for, think you not?

STIG: I think the honors you.

MARTHA: Not at all.

STIG: The is standing nowhere written that: the person will be pleased, the stands not even that: she will be happy.

In will Sönderby and cancels –

SÖNDERBY: Self believes we must give ourselves away now if we should catch up in fairly time for the concert. Goodbye Martha and the thanks for the dinner.

[sic]A far while yesterday Sönderby and the Stig shut up next to each other's side. Sudden breaks the long-standing male silence –

SÖNDERBY: You are working with Beethoven's Violin Concerto(,)[;] how goes it?

STIG: Not at all. Why asking you that?

SÖNDERBY: But thou working further?

STIG: Yet late when?

SÖNDERBY: I mean that: you will release the thought on that: car soloist. You are one good orchestral musician. Enjoy yourself with it.

STIG: I have not bitten you about some council.

SÖNDERBY: For everything part.

STIG: Man has not period enough. It is all the matter. Only now will I carry duty-free from your cursed orchestra cum such shall I take proper education for professor Sabaska. I have already written to him.

SÖNDERBY: It is vainglory and none other.

STIG (ice-cold): For how thou development is old and unsuccessful so need not me become it.

SÖNDERBY: Ourselves average metrics may also need. But worker-bin no beehives.

STIG: It is horrible that consult you chatter. As that: consult a which already is dead.

In laughs Sönderby, but why him laughing tells him not if. In addition, will the bus to town just in the same while. In Stig will out after the concert stands Nelly and the pending o She has been a white suit

STIG: Have you expected lo

NELLY: I came just now.

They go a bit under silence, then stops Nelly and looks at Stig. Her face is small and white in the dark; the eyes are very large and right black -

NELLY: Why quivers you? Freezes you?

STIG: He is why yet your man, Mikael.

NELLY: Self has told him that: I love you.

STIG: What said he then?

NELLY: He was very understanding.

STIG: The pus fan.

NELLY: You should none say so, for it perhaps is peccancy for him.

STIG: But not about me?

NELLY: No, not whatsoever, for you are selfish and proud.

STIG: That told Sönderby too.

NELLY: Yes, but he loves thyself none cum it makes me.

Mikael Bro sitter wide the table and reading a book and drinking coffee when they will in -

MIKAEL: Hear here. (reading:) [Formal with very strong intensity] Over central is all who called spirit-science, the must intend the self, society, the State, the morale or religion, only an intellectual game with expressions, which man using as about man thus denoted something real.

Mikael hits with the hand in it open book cum the eyes passion like coal in the head with him -

MIKAEL: He is all a bather that there Hägerström and he has my full sympathy.

STIG: He has mine too, but I ignore unto him.

NELLY: Stig is tired and sorry. I believe doesn't he would speak more for tonight.

Nelly becomes the cuddly harm one key set in the outside door cum any comes in and bends about a while in the hall -

NELLY: Spring lodging. It is thundering boring, but VI. must be for the economy.

One boarder stepping in on room cum hat and coat on himself. It is Marcel.

MARCEL (enjoyed): Good evening good evening. As indeed you are up yet. I passed till Grand and received me a piece in demand.

STIG: Servant. None knew me that you lived here.

MARCEL (smiling): The did I not either. Before. But now lives I here. From in goes Evening.

He goes out in the tambourine and hangs off one coat and hat –

MARCEL: Oh really, you hang out in judgment here circuits. The thought I indeed not.

Stig answers no on this[,] and Marcel expects well-being won't either[;]anything responding only teeth a cigarette and strikes one down wide the radio, inclines one back in the chair, looks at the ceiling, takes a match, initiates poking one in the teeth. Stig lays his hands away from himself on the table and sits and looks at them without that touch one look. Nelly takes off her wedding ring and lets it spin around, around, roundly. Mikael Bro sits cum with his book and a thick red crayon cum when cum then dashes him under one appropriate sentence. The radio plays stubbornly on a nocturnal romance. Past juniper wood moment outruns Nelly from the game with the ring till that: gnaw on the nails, Marcel takes a newspaper and of the large rustle folds him the blades yet hit than there. Even all reading moves himself Mikael Bro over of the stool till the swing stool where he begins rocking. Then leaning Marcel one forward over the radio cum initiates seek one another cum more suitable music. Thereby arise a prolonged beeping, whining, sizzling and crackling on the radio. Nelly reaches her after the nail lacquer, in which she immerses herself. Marcel finds no music, snaps off the radio cum reclaims his glance at the ceiling. On the table is located a white cloth. Nelly grips by playful and may suddenly the idea that: she shall repaint a nail on Stig because he has the hands spread and near till hands. Marcel turns himself around on his stool and extends as well he up his hand cum wants to be painted on a nail. He smiles kindly detriment Nelly fires away his hand and dedicates herself (at) [to] Stig. But Marcel persist. [sic] Stig starts watching away him cum Marcel fastens his smiling gaze on Stigs. For other past pushes Nelly away its hand and will return till Stig, then that still staring unto Marcel makes a violent movement with the arm for that stem Nelly. For instead sees him the flask with nail lacquer, so falling over cum a large patch spreads itself over the white tablecloth. At one tomorrow dawn stops about taxi outside Stigs and Martha's summer house. Stig wavering clocks and the pay. He has one hand concerned with a handkerchief that is very bloody. The car choir deleted with one quiet, spinning sound. The headlights sprites no longer on the morning light as Rises along with great speed. Out till marine yelling the gulls. Stig wobbles in on the sand walk and sinks together in Martha's recliner. Where sitter he and hangs some moments. His face is mighty washed cum juniper wood mouth compressed for that hold back a scream of pain and rage. So gradually will he up, taking himself behave the stairs cum initiates seek after the key (may only make use of one the hand), starts thud on the door. It lingers won't long until Martha comes and opens. Stig go doesn't in, holding just out his hand with the bloody stirred handkerchief and the painted nail. Martha pulls at him for how few it to come in, but he wants none but put himself on the stairs, getting a hopeless back. Martha looks at that back, goes in and fetches bandages, sits them beside her man cum begins to loosen the bloody handkerchief. Just at the same while starting the solar stride up from the sea.

STIG: I must be yourself about a thing. Can we not advance in till town with the same. As fort(fast) as possible.

The apartment. Martha sitter in Kitchen and provides Lisa supper. She frowns and wants doesn't eat properly. Stig comes out, stands in the door -

STIG: Was it necessary how you and the youth migrated cum in till town? You had yes such good in a l Why answers you not?

Martha lets go down Lisa on the floor, wipes her about the mouth with the bib and walks up to the sink, turns back cum poll till -

MARTHA: Walk and dress of you now, Lisa.Lisa disappears soundlessly. Stig begins measuring the floor, stops just behind Martha, takes her about the arms cum turns her around. She lets it happen yet outermost unwillingly -

STIG: Why processes you me which a criminal?

Martha looks far for him but says still nothing. One black fury starting ascend upward in Stig -

STIG: Mayst you understand that no Sabaska has written and replied to my letter.

MARTHA: Release me(,)[;] you make me bad.

Martha tries to make her off detriment Stig keeps her with an iron-hard grip cum it darkens more and more in him -

STIG: Sönderby or you perhaps also have written.

He begins shaking her, though not particularly much –

MARTHA: You are not wise. Release me.

It holds on to Become fight only just in like moment comes Lasse in with the old and now something shaggy the teddy bear –

LASSE: Look What Lisa has done.Lisa's startled nose glimpses into the doorway. The head has gone off on the Poor animal.

MARTHA: It does nothing. I will sew together him unto tomorrow. It goes for a little kick.

LASSE: Indeed injury Lisa took the bear solid her vet that she didn't may. She is cheeky, Lisa.

MARTHA: We get chatter of the thing. Fast in BED now.

Lasse obeys but looks wounded and gloomy at his Father. The door closes.

MARTHA (low): We Set not till something fraction here with the kids about us, arrived remember it, Stig. What for yet happens, nothing fraction as the kids see.

Stig goes out from the kitchen. Martha yesterday in till she till nursery fitted food corner. The kids have laid one. They have books and toys on the beds. She tucks in them, extinguishes the light –

LISA: Now tell you a saga.

MARTHA: I can not of tonight.

LISA: Why that when?

MARTHA: Self is so tired and sleepy.

LISA: You can sit here one while in the dark in all fall. It is very healthy.

Martha sets one on one stool away at the door. She snaps her hands on her knees. The becomes silent. She hears them breathe and move one small of the beds. She vet doesn't correct how long she has sat, but when she comes in of it other the room holding Stig already on that: clothe of itself -

MARTHA: How very is o'clock?

STIG: Half eleven.

He initiates squirming on his wristwatch. Martha goes there till the window and opens it. She stands where: a small while and watching out -

MARTHA: Keeping up on that: become a horrible mist at night.

STIG: The sound.

Based on the sea honks the fools. The sound ghostly and the desolate with them distant forever reappeared mooing. Martha draws down the blind -

MARTHA: Coming thou Remember what Sönderby said: It is as a mass choir trapped in a tree finch.

Stig answers not. He has received on himself the pajamas, crawling up in the bedstead and pending on that: Martha shall become completed. Then her dress by itself is located he and the watching on her, calm and scrutiny. Martha sees his glance and draws till one the dressing gown.

STIG (small derisive): What is it now where?

MARTHA: I think not if by the time thou glances at me on it there the way. The is which about you was low where: and did compare.

STIG (smile): Maybe it.

Martha puts one cum initiates wash the face with facial water and cotton yet ends and lays the cotton ball from now on itself and merely sitter -

MARTHA: Mayst we none car kind towards each other again. Why may we not even speak with each other about any only thing now?

STIG: The salaries itself so small.

Martha sighs, answers none but finishes its restroom, takes on itself the nightgown in defense of the dressing gown cum crawling in bed. Stig extinguishes the light. Those lies shut up both two, listening to its peculiar breathing and the fools like honking out there till marine. So sound childish. Martha paws up and the in at the nursery. Lisa sitter for the bed and cries single-handed but dogged -

MARTHA: What is the Lisa?

LISA: The was a large black old guy.

MARTHA: Maybe where that some cleaner.

LISA: It here was a dangerous black old guy, sees you.

MARTHA: Now to you few a sugar cube cum such will you lay you down and dream something fun in the place.

LISA: I dreamed not at all.

MARTHA (low): Round exists no upper-case black guys.

LISA: He came in at the kitchen and looked at me[,] and he looked very dangerous outward.

Martha goes out in the kitchen and kindles the lamp –

MARTHA: You see, here is nobody.

Lisa gets one sugar cube cum peace restores. Martha paws in of it other the room again. Stig has (fallen) asleep, but his face is not calm and relaxed. It jerks in the eyelid cum he has a wrinkle between the eyebrow. The mouth sees bitter out. Martha lies and looks at him jolly long cum fear cum the loneliness sensation grows major cum major in her heart. Time awakes him all suddenly, ironing himself over the face with both hands. Then draw it her adjacent herself cum kisses her cool at mouth cum is starting to iron her over the shoulders and the breasts. She gets tears in about Eyes but lets him Be. He kisses her several times harm her face is dead -

MARTHA (sudden): Let me be! I think it is disgusting! I may not help that, but I think it is disgusting - sickly!He releases her lightning-fast with dispatch[,] and she slides over to her bed[,] where she drills below herself into the pillow and cries silently. Stig bites in the knuckles of exasperation.

STIG: Lie not and cry! It is nevertheless none who hears.

Till out hardens him and are forced to get clocks the bed, take of themselves an old bathrobe, is going out of the kitchen, fetching a Pilsner from the fridge. Aisle to time is he compelled to cross it over the face. Martha's crying silences. The bed lamp lights up inside of the room cum she sitter of the bed forward-inclined -

MARTHA: We may not amuse on so here.

STIG: You may decide the one cause itself.

MARTHA: In any wise feels it which the end.Stig answers none but drinking clocks and the will in and puts it on her bedside, ago he extinguished in the cuisine -

MARTHA: I HAVE attempted. I have done so well self have been able. I have not come of reproaches or accusations. I have tried ken yourself always, always.

STIG: The error is thus mine.

MARTHA: I never allowed any questions.

STIG: Be for would you ask me about things that none concerns you.

MARTHA: Concerns that I don't to you are together with Nelly Bro.

STIG: Not as far as I can see. You can be morally indignant if that Roar you, but keep this for yourself oneself. I am not interested.

MARTHA: But Why? Why? Why?

STIG: What then?

MARTHA: Why are you together with her?

STIG: Why stumbles MAN in one dog dirt on the street? Because that man didn't look up. Cum then features man it on one.

MARTHA: That you can!

STIG (scornfully): The will you say as prior we met low till Right and left. You each till and with together with the where disgusting Marcel.

MARTHA: But that was right then. Before we had the kids. Mean not they anything?

STIG: That had you before also, although you did you off with them.

MARTHA: Occasionally regretting I'm that I persisted when you none wanted we would have some barn.

STIG: See you. See you, Martha.

MARTHA: Yes[,] I see. I see how shabby we have become.

Stig lays himself straight over his peculiar bed and looks at the ceiling.

STIG: I vet what all the illness is. We do none that we get out anything from our life. We have arrested of clear sight both you and me. Man learns sure to do it at our age, have I heard. Simultaneously with a clear sight comes thus the disgust. That is a natural consequence.

MARTHA: Sooner could us right also dispute and be mean to matter another, but then needed us the only reach outside the hand so each the good again. Not even it. And never needed ourselves argue and discuss. It was one such high security.

STIG: And now have we discovered how that none is anything so named security.

MARTHA: Coming you remember what you said here our first night together: The main thing is good nevertheless to man becomes a correct person.

STIG: Man {You} talked so much at the time.

MARTHA: But it was true.

STIG: It was lying, Martha. If a time is this here not so important longer and even a little later mayst we joke about it. Till out forgets we deleted that we ever were unfortunate or that we longed and hoped. It is late in the song that near man is old and wise, as one called.

MARTHA: Maybe it feels so for you. But I will never become such. Never!

STIG: Recall thou the night when I came home with handset broken. Then started my lucidity. And it was so unbearable that I stretched out one fist through a window pane for that be so tangled that I never more would need dream some soloist dreams. But when self late stood where with the hand bloody so thought I: What self nevertheless is ridiculous! Why is it none which laughing? The hand passed it. So easily escape man not stepwise namely. Sönderby is right. Self is a mediocrity who balks accept his mediocrity.

MARTHA (bitter): Me and me and me! Notice you not that it sounds horrible?

STIG: For {To} all share. I ask about extenuation. We will not speak more about the matter.

So have they none more to say in a long while.

MARTHA: I travel till grandmother. There is the great for the kids also.

STIG: How will you get cash till the journey when?

MARTHA: Judgment thought me you would get provide me.

STIG: I have no money.

MARTHA: It was remarkable.

STIG: You received yes in former the week.

MARTHA: Till telephone well, which we were after with, and so the milk affair and the rent.

STIG: The money sufficed former.

MARTHA: Wants you see in the book. Believes you I'm embezzling?

STIG: You ignore among that: save, it is all the matter.

MARTHA: You may well take one advance which all other.

STIG: That has me already done.

MARTHA: YOU must have data. Those the monies have I not seen the smoke of.

STIG: You have nothing with my money to do.

MARTHA: Well over the extent to concerning the household.

STIG: How as anyway is there no money till your sudden incurred trip. We are relatively poor actually and have not council with expenses for emotional reasons.

MARTHA (mean): And judgment money you pills till Nelly Bro?

STIG: Hold the jaw is you kind.

MARTHA: That is there for ton thou uses.

STIG: I use like tone against you as you against me.

MARTHA: It costs money with a hold-dame.

STIG: Indeed harm still is that for something way more honorable for award is fixed.

MARTHA: Now where you quite raw think I.

STIG: So sensitive you have become! Where you equal sensitive on it the time with Marcel … It must where complicated.

MARTHA (raw): I understand not how you may have a lover, you who now not even fill the minimum rings on an authentic man.

STIG (raw): The presumable is it your private wrong.

MARTHA: Naturally. I have been naive enough that imagine myself to man would be faithful.

STIG: Stop now, Martha.

MARTHA: But thou must why have outflow for your artist's temperament and Nelly suited well-being your misunderstood genius better. Fast she has well-being none had it for fun her either, the Poor.

Then strikes Stig her middle in the face. He strikes her so hard he can cope. Late strikes him several times full recklessly and but hiatus. She crawls together with the head between her hands and her face downwards for to try to safeguard herself against the battle that hails over her.[sic] But she screams not, the going no one sound from her. Finally tired him cum just sitter and blown out, breathing intermittently and heavily. Martha highlights up a face. She bleeds from the nose and off the lips. Then Grips he of horror and despair over what he allowed –

STIG (whispering): Forgive me, Martha. Forgive me.

MARTHA (calmly and dead): This here last was my custom fault. I had myself self to blame.

STIG: Sorry me still.

He tries concern at her harm she strikes away his hand -

MARTHA (hateful): But the others forgive self don't. You can be convinced again that I will get cash till the cock, if I so will walk down in the street and beg together them.

STIG: Martha. Martha – not so.

MARTHA: Touch me not. Take don't in me. Thou disgusts me so unbounded to I would have spit you in the face.

Then stops Stig how venture comma till number to her. They look at each other. One high and new-aroused hatred. And both harden themselves -

STIG: For all share. It is you who would get it then here. You will get your will forward. I will be {ask} Sönderby about money for morning cum that will become damn comfortable to avoid seeing you further.

ONE HALF-YEAR LATER.

Home of Mikael Bro. Stig stands and reads on one block. Where stands: Says it is brain-bleeding only I know that Nelly has poisoned me. Stig lowers a block and sees for Mikael Bro when located in his bed fixed and with the mug petrified. One eyelid is lame, the eyes can he move, the hand irons over the wrap, he breathes through the mouth as stands like a mailbox opening. Inside round at the bedroom are the blinds drawn down, the prevails half-twilight. But in the other room is shining the sun strong. Cold winter Sunday. The clock rings. She bends one down (be)for(e) that stroke him over the cheek, but he stabs at her like an angry hound, her screams till of hysterics and crawling merged. Mikael mutters something hateful with one lame tongue, cum does sign at Stig to take off her. The murmur rises till unarticulated noise. Stig takes Nelly in the arm and for her out clocks the room, closing the door. She masters its grey and takes the hands from the face -

NELLY: Think you he plagues?

STIG: Probably.

NELLY: That is good. I want that he has such pain how that he would scream all the time.

STIG: He can not scream(,)[;] he is right lame -

NELLY: The is it which is it delicate, sees you.

STIG: Thou must hate him, you.

NELLY (shrugs at the shoulders): Oh, he deceases well soon!

STIG: Times are the like a dream.

NELLY: What then? This here?

STIG: Man denies belief that sometimes is true.

NELLY: Self is cautious for him also. Sometimes of a night how think I that he will rise and come in and hit dead myself or strangle me.

STIG: I believe still almost that you have poisoned him.

NELLY: I have often imagined that I would do it.

STIG: What has he intrinsically done you?

NELLY: That he has made me? He exists till just. Of somehow fashion is I'm dependent on him. I vet don't me.

STIG: You can divorce yourselves.

NELLY: Where would I then take the road? Would you who hand about me?

STIG: You could take one work.

NELLY: Others will work - but not me.

STIG: Then have you right ever Marcel.

NELLY (laughing till): I measured the product somewhat wrong away, but I'm holding invariably with failure the horse.

STIG: That is for to you are so damn mean and lack human feelings.

NELLY: Yet your wife when? As passed from you.

STIG: We beloved each other.

NELLY: And so short as beloved you each other not anymore. I thank you myself for such eroticism. In prefers me my line.

She goes till the corridor, takes off oneself the morning coat cum starts who on one a dress -

NELLY: I think it is cold.

STIG: It is thirteen degrees minus.

NELLY: One day shall I find a millionaire. He will have a yacht. Under winter shall we cross of Caribbean the sea. He will have a black boy, who has just cut palms and nails, cum him will I love when self is free from the millionaire. I'm beginning Certainly stay fat over the bottom.

STIG: This is the age.

NELLY (sighs): Oh yes, man has not so huge much time on one intrinsically. There is reason to whip oneself past the corner. Feeling you any millionaire?

In calling it on the bell -

NELLY: Walk in you. Myself bears he nevertheless not see.

STIG: Self is {I am} no pass{wake}-up call at {for} him.

NELLY: No[,] this is you not, but he considers you as his only friend.

STIG: Poor weakling.

NELLY (reflects herself): That thinks me too.

In Stig will in till Mikael lies that with a part of Shakespeare's Assembled Writing of the abdomen. He points to something he wrote on a block. Stig puts it so that: he may see Nelly. In the bed prevails dusk. The other room is highly enclosed as one stage. Nelly goes around of room out there, draws in the socks, stops in front of a mirror, starting crest one. Stig reading along with low vote -

STIG (reading): "Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then not heard from. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing."

Marcel has come in till Nelly. He used to approximate that a big brownish cat, trying concern at her, only she beats soundlessly but angrily from itself. He makes new type over the floor -

STIG (reading): Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then not heard from. It is a tale Told by an idiot,…

The Voice logs itself. Him traveling one up. These words Items him with violent force. He lays the book away from itself and may not get advance one sound. The Sun is lit high and hard. The church bells calling. Nelly stands center in the light[,] and Marcel comes forward yet one time and makes a renewed attack. Mikael may not see any of everything this. He lies immobile, filled with knowledge, composing on the block: "Self is a damn people cum it is right at me it which takes place, but you shall be beware you. Watch out thyself, Stig." Stig reads what Mikael wrote and provides him the block back -

STIG: You Mikael. Now goes me my road cum will never more back. [appreciative with very strong intensity] Self is very grateful for what you have taught me detriment self may not stay here a minute longer for self wants not become which you three cum the only as may help me is Martha.

He cares one none of to look at Mikael when he goes thence. Martha will of the record with one letter in hand. She goes up IN THE FOREST for one itself cum while she goes reading her the letter from Stig -

STIG (voice): Dear Martha, you will be surprised now since you wouldn't have heard from me in odd-come-shortly three months. But self is forced to write till you and speak about how there have happened me things, for it was as if all my madness suddenly got understandable for me and I discovered that I have wasted with it the only one that really has any value here in life…[sic]The concert house.

In Stig sitting under a pause on the rehearsal and the orchestra is round approximate him and the correct, fish him up one letter from Martha and the reading it quiet for one itself -

MARTHA (vote): Dear Stig! [concerned with very strong intensity] When I received your letter of the hand got me primary very nervous, then I sensed in me all this last time that: thou been single-handed and the had it difficult in a lot way. I have read it several times and despite that: you are very reserved, may I read me to that: any essential Happened you. Too I have thought about here in the loneliness[,] and I vet {know} now that we never will that separate, how so were a cruel mistake. However, believe me not that I will come home, but I'm yearning much after you.

It is night. Martha sits in the window of her small WIND ROOM cum her viewing a letter from Stig. The kids sleeping in their beds, the moon draws large squares on the floor -

STIG (voice): Dearest beloved Martha! I was so fucking glad over your letter as I almost was forced to cry one while. You look man closing again about so much cum that had good me too done in some way with you and the kids, for it made for hurt. Or also have I never before properly understood how in of the reed very me holding off yours.

The raining. Stig stands under an umbrella and reads a letter from Martha -

MARTHA (voice): Min beloved friend! Now want me soon that you will hit and retrieves us, we have right so much that we must arrange and plan for the summer, have we not? Stream fondest how it feels stupid and strange to write. I would want to say so much, but it looks both stupid and sentimental outside on paper. I have enough tried may you believe. Way trust I don't to we need talk somewhat either when we meet. I know precisely how I will show you how much I think about you. Can you guess? Come soon! – – –One windy and sunny spring day, when it mutually blows and shines hot over the sea and the plain, gets Stig and the train for that download his wife and their children. The train honks and drives, the rattles and fumes like real trains do, the curtain waving in the open compartment window. Mid against Stig sits an old lady and an oldster, both asleep well. But Stig he sits there and thinks -

STIG (thinking): This here the train goes very slow. Should will leap off and run beside a while. Maybe ought me eject on in some slope if I came in that mood. [neutral with very strong intensity]I think it will be so remarkable to hear her speak till example and say: "Well but now is you well good stupid in any fall" or "When washed you thyself actual last in the ears?" or "Thy wretch, have you so disease in the stomach. "Wow, Oh, where feels the most evil?" or also to sit in movies together again at some idiotic film and hold each other in hand, or sit in the kitchen at night after a concert and eat from the pantry and drink aquavit and beer, and speak and joke and don't say a serious word. [sic]The attic bustle. Martha clothes herself and adorns herself. She is shaken up as a young girl as shall strike its dearest for first past. This has till consequence that the hair stands on end and crackles, that the powder is finished, that the brassiere goes asunder, that Lisa has used her earrings, for each those untraceable disappeared. But the blouse is white as a summer cloud cum her takes its most high-heeled summer footwear cum it perfumes herself so that her body is fragrant. But lipstick care she one not about -

MARTHA: No lipstick, the looks just crazy out afterward. I can bite myself some lit on the lips just before the train arrives that become verdict delicate red still. Are enough much nice actually and brown have I become. Not visible there how I none has slept at night either. Indeed hurt there is why ridiculous, I will why only meet my old man. We who set each other till disgust. And still is everything new, new, new! Clean! Bathed novel! How it will be fun to cook food again! Being of own kitchen, Dona and command, sleep for custom bed, feeling his warmth, having him sleeping beside me, never more what … alone … never more what alone.

The train puffs and honks, for an enormous noise. Now spatters it also, but the sun shines. In (the) north stands a vast rainbow. There will be a thousand pearls on the passenger compartment window. Stig gets happier and happier.

STIG: Her face … her eyes … the fine wrinkles around the eyelids. I have seen those where: the streaks get there, self are well self guilty till some of them. Chin when is so round and determined, Ear that is so small. An artwork is her ear -- and her mouth that is so lovely and soft to kiss. I love her body too. The smooth skin on the shoulders and breasts that never right retrieved itself after the kids, only as are sensitive like living beings. Her feet… little ones with high foot arches, the fine silly of the neck, the stomach's friendly sensual camber. The waist… so thin that I can grasp supposing it with my hands. [Formal with 100% strong intersity, freindly with 80% strong intensity ans admiring with moderate intensity] I love her for that we have slapped each other, for that we made each other ill, only also for the thousand nights we had in blessing and utter enjoyment. Soon stops some trains cum then maybe she is there and meets me. Fy fan how self is nervous![sic] Only self is glad also! As glad as I ne'er have been. And as poetic as self is now was never any poet in world literature. They can go home and put one all the band, especially verdict as wrote about love. For min eroticism till Martha is the most unique and the Marthas eroticism till me it most unfathomable which ever occurred in this wretched and the dark world.

The train stops. The Sun is lit hot harm it blows. Martha sees him come towards her[,] and he is very lean and long-haired and looks embarrassed at his nose, but yet sees her that he is much lucky, for his face shines like a lamp. And she goes advance till it cum they meet middle on a school trip as shall increase on for that: travel till Stockholm. It is further 100 kids cum the is one noise cum one congestion, something as Stig and Martha hardly notice. It goes thence tight printed next to each other, dumbfounded cum sink. The wind takes chat in Martha's skirt. The is which one piece of music only it.

SOME YEARS LATER.

The apartment. Lisa sits on the floor, is now seven years old, have the strange doll in one bosom. It sees both tarnished and miserable out -

LISA (till the doll): You understand, thou have not been any further mild, so you may not follow up with now when VI. shall be travel till grandmother and the health of. You may lie down round under the sofa and sleep until I will back. Then becomes you as glad. Now shall be thou sleep.Hence puts her in the doll under the sofa and goes thence for that: check the baggage. Martha holds on to clothe Lasse —

LASSE: We will meta very much large fishing cum then a beautiful fine one as we will take home and have in the bathtub cum it will I teach that talk.

LISA: Fishes can not talk.

LASSE: They can learn one.

LISA: That can they not whatsoever.

LASSE: You could not talk[,] but you taught yourself.

LISA: Indeed hurt self is No fish.

LASSE: I have met a fish that can talk cum one was a boy for my age who had taught him.Lisa becomes incredibly upset by this sentence –

LISA: Mamma, now lying Lasse again!

MARTHA: Stig, would you ring after a car.

LISA: Dad, Lasse lies.

STIG: Lasse lies nothing. He poems cum why would one fish not can speak. Man can ne'er be entirely sure.

Then is ordering it the taxi –

MARTHA: I think you should ask Sonderby (to) come home at night. There is Vichy water in the refrigerator.

STIG: It becomes a little lonely.

MARTHA (laughing): You think it will be nice.

STIG: The juveniles could well trip cum as could you stay here with me and possess vacation.

MARTHA: You are witless you. What believes thou grandmother would say?

STIG: Of any fall has you with your packing as if you would be away till Doomsday.

MARTHA: You need don't follow with till the station. I can take a commissionaire.

STIG: And what is this here? A bomb?

Stig rummages among the stuff; there is a large brown and slightly angular package –

MARTHA: It is a spirits kitchen.

STIG: What now (,) [;] then? Will you have food with you also?

MARTHA: That is well jolly better. We may live in the summer cottage and cook food (by) ourselves and trouble not them old.

STIG (sighs): Yeah yeah yeah.

MARTHA: Sigh you, but you arrive to think it is so pleasant when you will there.

Now stands Stig on the platform. Martha, Lisa[,] and Lasse are in the window –

MARTHA: You should go and trim yourself.

STIG: It is so nasty for Man may so much small hair inside the collar.

MARTHA: If you got per now could I cliff you.

STIG: Coming right later.

MARTHA (sighs sudden): Strange that man ever yearns for you still.

STIG: Why is it awkward?

MARTHA: So long as we have been married. Lick not on the window Lasse(,)[:] it is dirty.

STIG: You get beautiful weather.

MARTHA: It looks out as if it held on to become spring.

STIG: Why goes none the train?

MARTHA: So, you would be off with us?

STIG: Refusal only that is always so silly to stand as here at a station.

Then goes the train –

STIG: Goodbye, goodbye.

MARTHA: Adieu the laddie mine.

She takes his hand and holds it a time. The kids waving.[sic]

LISA: Salute her that lies under the sofa that she not will be the less for I'm coming soon again.

So vanishes they out of sight, for the train goes in of one gear waveform. Stig goes homeward, turns one suddenly about, senses a dull emptiness, trying aiming the train, but it is away. He stands on the platform and knows not where he will take the road –

STIG: Martha, my beloved. Now traveled you and I became so sorry. None understands self why.

Stig lies on the floor prostrate. Now shines sunlight in. It is morning. He sits one upward. The eyes are dry, the countenance is the summary in one painful grimace and petrified. He hears laughter and the child's scream from the street, so belongs him Martha's voice absolutely against his ear. –

MARTHA (voice): [formal and friendly with very strong intensity] If I were like thou as should I still be glad for to few go till the repetition today the clock ten and few sit as plain in my usual place and take care of my job.

It travels one, takes the violin case cum the cap cum beg one away. The concert house. Just before the repetition shall start going Sonderby forward till Stig –

SÖNDERBY: I have heard on Detours What that happened. I … I … you … you understand I'm is … you must comprehend that you don't need (to) come here if you don't want yourself..

Stig looks not on Sonderby but travels one from the chair. He holds the violin under his arm and the bow points to the notes.

STIG (whispering): Thank you. But it is better to work.

SÖNDERBY: Yes, you do what you want. Sönderby pats him on the neck –

STIG (whispering): Don't touch me. The members of the orchestra gather on the podium. The choir will also be present on this day. It arches in through the large doors and sets up behind the orchestra.

SÖNDERBY: We start at the double line. There are eleven bars before the recitative. He raises the baton but lowers it again –

SÖNDERBY: The cellos and basses must sing like hell, you understand. He thinks a little, pushes his glasses up on his forehead and slurs, finds it difficult to express himself -

SÖNDERBY: [formal and joyful with 100% strong intensity; admiring with 60% strong intensity] That is the question of joy thus. No such happiness as expressing itself in laughter or even your delight that says: self is happy. Bet I mean is a joy that is so great and special that it lies beyond the pain and the limitless despair. You see, it is a joy beyond all understanding. Yes, I can none explain it better.

Stig feels that someone considers him. He looks down towards the salon. Lasse has silent and still came in and set himself on a first bank. He looks unannounced at Stig. Sönderby raises the baton and suddenly flames him cum fire spreads itself cum everyone grips off the fire. The huge recitative crashes upward against the walls in an explosive joy beyond all understanding.

Afterword by Jan Holmberg

The summer [of] 1949 left Ingmar Bergman collectively with a friend and an actor Birger Malmsten on one of their few vacation trips. The journey joined till French The Riviera. IN BERGMAN ABOUT BERGMAN tells him about the journey:

Then met self some good friends there down – painters and such there – man was intrinsically never sober and so sat me and longed home and joined romanticize my marriage – one erstwhile – one that I previously with actual delight had cut in pieces in connection with THIRST.[sic] I became a little sentimental cum so started me to think of the time in Hälsingborg, where cool it was cum of the symphony orchestra cum that self none was so ingenious as I had imagined me.[sic] The first real adversity had begun present itself. Yet man thought, how even supposing man was one average need man the work and so manufactured I any some comfort for it then. How it is the culture's infantry that is that important and not this here remarkable cavalry.

So began the work with TILL JOY.

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