#she's always suffering

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[dlartistanon]

Bit early for summer

#arknights #frostnova #talulah artorius #dlarts #based on the reunion 4koma in the 123 manga #yelena wearing a hoodie to the beach i knew it #i didn't expect her to 'feel' hot though #i headcanon that she can't regulate her own temperature so she can't tell if she's overheating #she's just always cold and won't know if she's suffering from heat stroke or heat exhaustion

[captainsavre]

My FSH is high, which means that I can't... Maya and Carina || Station 19 - 7.05 ‘My Way’

#not a surprise tbh… we all kinda predicted it #but still very sad #why carina has to always suffer this much?! #just give her a break and let her live and be happy #for fucks sake #i'm glad they can still try and she can still be pregnant tho #but maya won’t ever hold her little carina and that makes me very upset #marina #maya x carina #maya and carina #maya bishop #carina deluca #station 19 #station19edit #danielle savre #stefania spampinato #mine #otp: you’re my home #tv: s19

[archonfurina]

@flurrina asked: pairings - neuvillette/furina or cloud/tifa

#it's so symbolic that neuvillette always closes his eyes when furina is in pain #when they talked about the knave and she begged him to come with her bc she was scared after the assassination attempt #and then in the trial when she was begging people to believe her and they all turned away #and you know. the entire 400 years they ruled together #i love this ship but god did he do her dirty #it had to happen that way but she's suffered enough #genshin impact #genshinedit #neuvillette #furina #neuvifuri #focallette #gamingedit #mine #this or that

[cindercrows]

My other Baxter shitposts:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

#i'm replaying the baxter dlc #pain and suffering <3 #baxter ward #our life beginnings & always #our life: beginnings & always #our life baxter #olba #i'm sending a friend that doesm't play the game screenshots and she just goes 'this guy is a red flag' 'he is the bane of my existence' #she will want to strangle him when we get to the waterfront scene in step 4

[l832]

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[i-d-e-g-a-f]

i ache for katara so deeply, she deserves so much better than her canon fate. i cannot express in words how much her story and how the fandom views/treats her physically hurts me

#anti kataang #katara deserved better #i know she’s a fictional character so ppl can say think and feel however they want about her and it the end of the day it shouldn’t matter #cus she’s not real but i just feel for her so deeply it hurts #katara my beloved #katara #katara my best friend who i have a DEEP parasocial relationship with i will always be on your side #they can never make me hate you #WE COULDVE HAD IT ALL #yes i’m being dramatic but also 100% serious #truly my favorite character of all time and she has been done wrong not only by the writers but by the fans too lord give her a break #i need her to get justice so bad against bryke and everyone who speaks ill on her #god please take all her suffering and give it to bryke #am i being hyperbolic right now? #your guess is as good as mine #zutara #for exposure ig #anti bryke

[harriertail]

if frostpaw being spayed does circle back around to 'rusty if you become a wild cat you get to keep your balls' TPB moment then can frostpaw go be a kittypet or something

#LET HER LIVE IN PEACE OMFG #and the whole 'riverclan cats are always kidnapped by people becoz they are so pretty' lilke. just let her go be a house cat im begging #whos the guy in TPB is it henry? where smudge is like 'he got his dick chopped off and now he doesnt even hunt birds and just sleeps in the #sun all day' PLEASE let that be frostpaw she has suffered so much xxx #asc spoilers #this is a stupid theory that will not happen but let me cope #thunder spoilers

[fromtheseventhhell]

Arya made a face and hugged the wolfling tight. Nymeria licked her ear, and she giggled. (Arya I, AGoT)

--

“Girls don’t shave,” Arya said. “Maybe they should. Have you ever seen the septa’s legs?” She giggled at him. “It’s so skinny.” (Jon II, AGoT)

--

"Stay away?" Mercy giggled. She was a giggly sort of girl, was Mercy. "No. I've got to get closer." (Mercy, TWoW)

Mercy was a giggly sort of girl...and so was Arya, once upon a time.

#arya stark #canonarya #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #Arya's supposed to be trying to forget her identity but through her aliases she's actually rediscovering herself in this essay I- #she was so happy and giggly in the first book oh my god 😭 baby she's just a baby #this isn't to say that I think she's /as/ giggly as Mercy is supposed to be but she definitely has that side to her #that hasn't really had the chance to be shown considering everything she's been through #the way she was at her happiest in Winterfell because by her second chapter the Trident incident had already happened... #please let TWOW be the end of her suffering she deserves to be happy 😔 #makes me so sad for her but also makes me appreciate the writing cause George has been delivering excellence since the beginning with her #Arya II (AGOT) will always be among my favorite chapters

[bumblingbabooshka]

Headcanon that Seven of Nine and Naomi actually find Neelix’s cooking to be fine because it’s the only food they’ve ever eaten/their first introduction to food and when they get to Earth everyone’s so excited to show them Alpha quadrant foods but neither of them likes anything they’re offered very much. Seven doesn’t really care either way except that she has to get used to a whole new palette and Naomi likes the obvious (Ex: candy, cake) but frequently complains that nothing tastes ‘right’. Naomi: -pushing away a slice of pizza- I don’t like it... Tom: You’re kidding me. You don’t like pizza? Naomi: It doesn’t taste right! Make it how Neelix used to. Tom: You want me to put gerhalorian beets and yuk mushrooms in the sauce so it congeals into a lumpy, slightly sour mess? Is that what you want, Naomi? Naomi: Yeah :(  I want Naomi and Icheb to work tirelessly together on a side project for years until finally doing it - being able to communicate clearly with those in the Delta quadrant! Icheb uses it to speak to the other borg children (now adults) and Naomi immediately uses it to call Neelix and ask him to find the nearest time portal and toss a big box of leola root into it. She’s been craving it for years! No one told her the Alpha quadrant didn’t have leola root, she wouldn’t have gone otherwise!

#Naomi's suffering through the worst case of 'food you had ALL the time as a kid but can't get as an adult' #Her next goal is constructing some way for ships to pass through the quadrants quickly and safely so Neelix can come visit her and also #Voyager's crew can stop getting themselves hopelessly lost and presumed dead out there #Naomi's favorite joke is that if she knew the alpha quadrant had/didn't have X she wouldn't have come! Her mom doesn't love it v_v #st voyager #Naomi Wildman #Seven of Nine #Neelix #I also think every member of the crew has a certain food they really loved but can never eat again v_v either bc alpha quad doesn't have the #ingredients or the replication abilities or bc it was something that was given as a gift by a delta quad alien or Neelix was only able to #make it once etc #I believe Neelix's cooking is a mixed bag. Some of his dishes are earnestly not good and some of them are for a palette that #the crew doesn't have...but after seven years you develop a palette. Like they still PREFER alpha quadrant food but every so often they're #like DAMN...do you remember when Neelix made-? and it's always a happy conversation #OH and also he has limited ingredients bc of Voyager's situation and doesn't know what the human foods they ask for are or what they should #taste like so it's trial and error babey!!!

[aurabora]

one day we need to talk about how helaena and alicent are glorified into these perfect little victims that can do no wrong and screaming sexist, misogynist, etc when you point it out, while calling rhaenyra a whore and minimizing what she went through simply because she doesn’t want to suffer as a woman in westeros. might it have to do with how rhaenyra’s suffering isn’t as male gaze and fetishizable as the forever victims?

#pro rhaenyra #pro team black #pro rhaenyra targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #anti otto hightower #anti aegon ii targaryen #anti team green #anti alicent hightower #helaena targaryen #pro daemon targaryen #pro lucerys velaryon #anti greens #anti alicent stans #i’ve always believed alicent was excited when rhaenyra got married because she thought rhaenyra would suffer just as she had and they could #bond over it #misery loves company #this is the same woman that married her 13 y/o daughter after saying her daughters house had queer customs #helaena is glorified into this incredibly divine womanly creature #when she’s basically words on paper that exist to be the mother of aegon’s kids #none of these are bad things #but rhaenyra is crucified for less #she’s made into this villain for not wanting to sit in a castle and birth babies for the rest of her life #like sorry

[spacedlexi]

when u want to like a character so so bad but theyre a cop so its impossible

#sorry even if theyre hot my first thought will always be 'cop' and it kills all desire #slams head thru wall #vi arcane i want to love u so bad......but i look at u and see COP and its over for me 😐 #and her cop gf 😐😔 #before anybody gets mad at me im just sad 😔 shes great otherwise like she fits my fave types but this wall is insurmountable #she grew up in the SLUMS and they make her an ENFORCER??? die #she was wrongfully imprisoned for like a decade and they make her an enforcer 😐😐😐😐 #after finishing arcane i went to read her lore 😐 #felt so Liberal 😐😔 weh weh both sides bad type beat #girl its not too late please dont be a cop and cait pls leave the force PLEASE i cant defend you like this #anybody else trapped in this torture prison abt her or is it just me please tell me im not alone in this #every time i see her on my dash it pains me so much like physically mentally.... #its ok at least i have my other vi who fights ex military with her gf to avoid becoming soldiers in a pointless war :) blink blink #it speaks #only posting this bc i need to know who else is suffering over this.............. it cant just be me

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More headcanons about Anakin and Ahsoka being menaces to the general public

I feel like both Anakin and Ahsoka react to being sick in similar ways and by reacting in similar ways I mean they do everything in their power to ignore the fact that they’re sick 

Which is funny because they both get annoyed when the other refuses to accept that they’re sick Ahsoka will take any hint that Anakin gives her that his condition is failing and runs with it 

Man could breathe different way and she’s like “Master it sounds like you’re sick maybe you should lay down and let me take over” to which Anakin refuses 

Ahsoka’s just as bad because Anakin tries his best to take care of her without letting her know he’s onto her 

But of course she’s not stupid and can tell when he’s being more of a helicopter sibling than normal and calls him on it 

God forbid they get sick at the same time because they just spend the whole time trying to take care of each other 

And god forbid they get sick at the same time when Obi-Wan is around cause then they just turn into whiny children 

Like no seriously it’s like a switch goes off in their brains that renders them into beings incapable of fixing their blankets 

Obi-Wan obliges because what dad would stop taking care of their kid depending on the age 

Honestly my brain kinda leaned into Ahsoka’s chaotic younger sister energy with this one 

But I love the idea that she will just sneak attack Anakin and Obi-Wan 

Most of her “sneak attacks” go something like this: Anakin walking down the hall minding his business when Ahsoka drops down from the ceiling 

But before she can land on him he sidesteps and grabs her by the collar before she can hit the floor which results in Ahsoka moaning and groaning that she “Almost got him that time” and Anakin grumbles back that the only thing that “almost got her” was a black eye

He does have to admit that her random seak attacks have made her better at climbing 

Sometimes she’ll walk up behind Obi-Wan and try to cover his eyes but most of the time all she gets is his shoulders 

Most of the time it doesn’t even slow the man down he just keeps walking while asking her about her day and how classes are going 

But as she gets older she’s able to mask her presence better and manages to sneak up on the men once or twice  

Obi wan is always willing to admit defeat and congratulates her on her well earned victory 

Anakin blames it on his age and that’s the only time that Ahsoka will ever hear him admit to being “old” (he’s 30) 

It’s an ongoing joke that you shouldn’t separate Ahsoka and Anakin some say you risk a limb if you try others say you’re risking your life what most don’t mention is how you’re risking your sanity 

Because they become the most annoying motherfuckers when they’re apart 

Ahsoka acts like they’ve been separated for 10 years and will tell stories like she’s reminiscing about the good old times but most of the time the people she tells the stories to were present for the events so it goes something like this:

“Hey Rex do you remember when me and Anakin threw someone into that lake those were the days” “Yes I do remember that commander because I was that person and it was a week ago”

In his defense that’s the fifth story she told him in the past hour and here was there for all of them

Anakin’s just as bad but for a different reason because all he does is overthink

Like don’t get me wrong he keeps up the “cool guy” personality before she leaves but the second she’s gone he’ll sprinkle little questions into normal conversations like “Do you think she packed warm enough?” “Do they have enough emergency rations?”  “Did anyone make sure that ship was up to code before they left?”

He made sure she packed for every single weather possible, he packed enough rations for two weeks even tho they were supposed to be gone for two days, and he checked the ship before they left 

Sometimes Anakin or Ahsoka will just walk into each other's room and hang out they don't do much they kinda just sit down and talk 

Sometimes they have a silent but mutual understanding to leave the room and go bother Obi-Wan in his 

I love the idea that Obi-Wan and Anakin are victims of Ahsoka’s undying fascination with human hair she loves when their hair is long and encourages them to grow it out longer so she has more to work with 

She all but falls to her knees when she sees how long Padme’s hair is and she’s the creator of some of Padme’s funkier hairstyles (both Anakin and Padme make a small note to force Ahsoka to do their future kid's hair)

She’s also weirded out by facial hair so every single time Obi-Wan shaves or Anakin tries to grow a beard they’re treated like a different person entirely 

It took them a while to figure out why but once they did they lost their minds laughing (and also made silent vows not to do it again cause it freaked her out)

People often say it’s like Ahsoka and Anakin can read each other's minds without using the force 

Some people find it hard to believe but it’s pretty easy to tell when people are having conversations through their bond and when two people are having a conversation just with looks

It’s not an uncommon sight for them to shoot each other looks after someone says something a little bold and for both of them to be laughing by the end of it 

It’s just as common for them to get into little arguments and finish it in complete and total silence before one of them finally gives in with a huff 

It’s kinda freaky but they don’t seem to notice and everyone around them is too used to it to care

#star wars #the clone wars #star wars clone wars #star wars headcanons #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #padmé amidala #captain rex #ahsoka and anakin #snips and skyguy #disaster siblings #they put poor obi wan through the ringer #that man needs a vacation from them #his blood pressure has been through the roof since they met #rex always suffers when they're separated #so does Padme but she's a better sport about it #this show has taken over my brain #and my google docs #like someone free me

[shehsart]

LoV if they met a little earlier.

THEY'RE HER BIG BROTHERS.

#toga himiko #shimura tenko #shigaraki tomura #todoroki touya #dabi #bnha #mha #my art #league of villains #LoV #look at the little bobbleheads #in light of the recent toga chapter im so sad #she didn't deserve to suffer like that man ;; #shiggy would get her a jam donut #he looks the cutest #touya edgy as always but he accidentally wore fuyumi's socks #they're just misfit kids whos quirks were a bit strange #the shit they went through:') i wanna throw up #pink suits toga so much #keeping up with the todorokis #LoV children #bnha Shigaraki #touya todoroki

[mihrunnisasultans]

Have you ever thought what he felt that night when executioners woke him up and wrapped a rope around his neck? And you, what did you feel, brother? What did you feel, sleeping next to his room? (...)  Do you remember what you told me? Your pain will pass, you will forget. You will feel better. A lot of time passed, brother. But I couldn’t recover. And trust me you won’t either; you will slowly burn away just as I did. Hürrem won’t even have a grave. Just like Ibrahim.

Hatice + roasting Suleiman to his face (and to others)

Happy Birthday Plami! @mc-critical

#hatice sultan #perioddramaedit #mcedit #magnificent century #weloveperioddrama #perioddramasource #muhteşemyüzyıl #here we go love #the seris of roasting continues #and it is heartbreaking #when ibrahim died hatice did not only lose a husband #but also a brother with whom she earlier had a close relationship #and only later they shortly reconnected because when she saw him suffering she could in a way connect with him #should I even stress how for all his lecturing on how she must forget and get well #he was always prioritizing himself #because he himself wanted to forget and move on #this is why memories of ibrahim and hatice's suffering hurt HIM first and foremost #he never truly emphatized #it was about his own ass and his suffering caused by his conscience #and him not being able to sleep bc of his guilty conscience #when he decided if he executes ibrahim #while he sleeps it is not breaking his promise #or rather legal edict pls #is poetic karma #I am rabling now but I know you don't mind #love ya sm #suly's version get a grip finally and you won't have depression #I s2g this guy