#she's been damaged for a long time

[fuckmeyer]

Wiggins!) the bizarre thing about the vampire men in the cullen family all seem to be at least subconsciously what Smeyer wants Bella to have but can’t seem to get over her initial vision of what she saw in her drafts or whatever. It’s odd that every single one of the Cullen men are like strongly devoted (but mostly devoid of personality because it’s so Bella centric) but when you compare them to Edward they seem interesting in some ways. Like Narratively we’re supposed to have this threat that Edward is constantly holding back from killer her but I don’t feel like we see that. Conversely, Jasper is constantly the one who is suffering about human smells and is the more vampire-like. But he’s also a glorified lap dog. So it’s like ‘oh he’s a monster but he’ll never hurt me” (things Alice has said out loud. Man even psychics slip up. I swear her powers weren’t so accurate until Smeyer needed an excuse for plot reasons)

Emmett feels like when some women say they like waifish guys because they don’t want to seem like they’re vapid for liking “big dudes with muscles” so of course you pair Emmett with the “shallow blonde”

Carlisle, I swear only exists so Edward has someone to model but I would also argue that he’s proto-Edward before whatever reworking she had to do when writing Twilight for a YA audience and brought him back as a different character.

Yeah a rant

hello again bestie Wiglet! (note to self: learn Photoshop so i can shop Jacob's bad wig onto a pic of Piglet)

this is such an interesting take! thanks for sharing. i totally see what you're saying. in all the Cullen men we see both a blend of softness & devotion *and*, interestingly enough, a patchwork of patriarchal ideas of what a man "should" be. & this idea comes to the forefront with the depiction of the love interests

smeyer wants us to see Edward as the chivalric gentlemen from the Days of Yore. we see this in the opening doors, the cutsey little romance taglines ("you are my life now," "look after my heart; i've left it with you," "so the lion fell in love" etc), the knight saving the damsel in distress, the expensive tokens of his affection, etc.

at the same time, in both Edward & Jacob we see the crude traits of the Patriarchy Dreamboat kinda guy. if i had to sum it up, it's like the guy you see in 80s movies. "bad boy." "opposites attract." he's a jerk. he's a hunk. he's domineering. he's allowed to show emotion only & especially if that emotion is anger. he's persistent in his efforts to get the girl, going so far as to kiss her without her consent if it's For a Good Cause (Edward in New Moon post-Volterra, Jacob in Eclipse). he's a cool guy who's In Control 👉😎👉

perhaps that's why the Twilight saga appealed so such a large swath of women & girls. the women, who grew up with the notion that they could have the true love of their dreams so long as they submitted to the patriarchal social contract, saw the contract being fulfilled in Edward. (i.e., "you can be the king if you treat me like a princess.")

on the other hand, the 90s/00s girlies who grew up in the midst of a feminist revolution & who could see the glimmer of a dismantled patriarchy on the horizon were attracted to Edward for the flashes of radical feminist love they saw: the unapologetic expressions of emotion, the honesty of him sharing his vulnerabilities & weaknesses, Bella's ability to override Edward's will when necessary, etc.

sorry, i know this isn't really the crux of the rant you submitted, but it is extremely interesting to see these contradictions playing out in all the male characters of the saga. it's almost like smeyer is having this internal debate with herself without even realizing it...

#twilight meta #twilight renaissance #the twilight saga #i have been reading too much bells hooks (jk that's impossible) and have been thinking about radical feminist theory & #how it actually both applies and does not apply to twilight #i've been wanting to write a meta about it but fuck it #fuckmeyer 2.0 only takes meta requests i guess #anyway you brought up a really good point about how the cullen men are all a mix of what smeyer wanted Edward to be #and yet she was too afraid to realize the vision to its fullest extent #like yes she wants the muscles but she wants Edward to be soft and loving and delicate #and she wants Edward to have an Unforgivable Past but not SO unforgivable that he's completely damaged goods #and she wants him to be Devoted but not SO devoted that he's 'pussywhipped' #and she wants the devout religiosity and Goodness of Carlisle but she recognizes at the same time that women & readers want conflict #my response was getting long and frankly i didn't want to derail or dtract any further from the facts you were spitting but #i see what you're saying and i think you touch on something very incisive about the vision versus the execution of twilight #if we imagine a saga in which Edward WAS balls-to-the-wall Edward...what kind of character would we see? #that is another meta for another time but WOW am i thinking about this Intently and how different the saga would be if smeyer were to Commi #thanks for sending this my way!!! #cheers <3

[dangoarts]

unfortunately for everyone especially myself i am still thinking about minecraft story mode

#long rant in tags up ahead oops #I AM. NORMALLY UPSET ABOUT ELLEGAARD'S DEATH. #i feel so cringe screaming about the show that gave me so much psychic damage but liek #ellegaard was an influential character that led a whole city #you'd. you'd think there'd be a memorial service. #or like jesse would be more visibly upset and emotionally damaged over witnessing her death and indirectly being the cause of her death #but no #the best thing we got was a brief scene of them going 'oh no she died! :( anyway the wither survivors tho' #i get that they're good guys n all and they were probably like 'i'm devastated by this but i need to pocket that to process later to get- #-these people to safety' but COME ON #justice for ellegaard #the playthrough i watched had ellegaard die if you didn't figure it out through this ramble #i probably would've been as attached to magnus as i was to ellegaard if i saw his arc at boom town but the playthrough chose redstone land #which like yeah samesies #ANYWAY. MAIN TAG TIME SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE IN TAGS (not sorry) #mcsm #minecraft story mode #AND THE FACT THAT THE PIG GOT MORE OF A MEMORIAL THAN HER REALLY RUBBED SALT IN THE WOUND FOR ME #sorry reuben fans i didn't care for him at all #yes this is a kids show meant for 10 year olds yes i'm overanalyzing it what else am i supposed to do on a monday #if i ever make a fix it rewrite story you have full legal permission to ban my tumblr account /j /silly #blood tw #tw blood

[13oddballbooks]

Not sure if anyone has written or posted this idea yet... (Miraculous Ladybug x DC)

Its a common trope for Alya to look up to Lois Lane. I've seen a few fics where those two actually interact, but... I don't think I've seen a fic or post were Marinette is the one to reach out to Lois. With how much shes done for the class, why wouldn't she reach out to Alya's personal hero? But what if... Marinette reached out to Lois for help? With Alya so caught up in Lila's lies, she lost sight of journalistic integrity, and despite the stress of the situation, Marinette truly does want to help her friend... Alya getting a cold wake up call from her personal hero would be just the thing to make her sit back and realize that she truly was becoming a tabloid journalist instead of one that sought the truly like Lois. Idk i think that it would have great potential for Alya to do some serious, long-term character growth, and have her start thinking more and reacting less. She'd backtrack and start fact-checking before posting whatever was said to her. Of course this wouldn't be an overnight fix it, and it not a salt fic either. Just the slow, dawning realization that just because someone who is nice to her and makes promises (that she also realizes always end up falling through or passed onto another to fill) says things, doesn't mean that they're true. That people aren't always who they say they are, and adult aren't the only ones who create damaging lies.

#maribat #alya cesaire #lois lane #mlb x dc #guys i dont even Like alya #like #at all #full sail can't stand her personality #what an extrovert *hisses* #but I think she could have the potential for some serious character growth #that kind that takes months of self reflection and research #and makes for a life long lesson #and just because you try to make things right doesn't mean irreparable damage gets fixed #after all- not even ladybugs magic can fix everything #the teacup has been broken but you only get kinsugi and not time-reversal #bo writes

[knifeslidez]

bandom twt really is just full mask-off with misogyny huh

#the lindsey ''callout thread'' has done damage on these easily swayed mfs #they're just straight-up insulting her and calling her ugly #which like. tell me how that's supposedly activism ? #she's done a lot of bad shit yea. but she also hasnt been online or active in the public sphere for a long time #they rlly will just take any opportunity to both make themselves feel like activists through doing nothing and bash women #ghoul groans

[invinciblerodent]

I can't seem to stop starting new playthroughs

so here's Phyridia/Phyr "I also slept with a god and have a city for a last name Gale, you're not that fucking special" of Warford, an actual DnD character I've played for a while

#oc: phyr #just to get some shots I played like five minutes and I'm honestly rolling unsettlingly well on her so far #when Iona hadn't rolled above a 10 in the entire prologue she's rolling like.... consistently above 15????? #has attacked twice; crit once and got max damage the other time #she does NOT fuck around #part of the story is that she had a very odd and very toxic and manipulative situationship with the avatar of Hoar #basically are you ever so doomed by your narrative that the very god of vengeance goes daaaaaaamn #squirrel plays bg3 #or better yet have you ever been so haunted that you peg a gaunt-looking bleeding guy and get magic powers from it #a warlock might suit her too but she's currently an oath of vengeance paladin #we'll see how long that oath lasts

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#we r caught back in the agony spiral yall. bc ive made no progress writing today bc its been a long week and im tired #and i cant focus. but i could probably. im just being a baby abt it #i should just go to sleep. ive gotta go do field work tomorrow and im kinda stressed abt it #or i should do something fun thwt will made me less miserable but i csnt do that. theres no timd #time. so i should sleep. but sleep is a waste of time and really i shoulf b writing #but im tired and my tummy hurt :-( #i hope tomorrow doesnt take long :-(( #no sample collection pls 🙏 #and ive got interview stuff to prep for. like thats a month away but i gotta convince ppl i understand photosynthesis #and its been a fucking minute since biochem :-( #ugh. im trying to make better decisions in this new year. less destructive decisions bc i have to convince ppl ive got my shit together #so ill get hired and also i dont wanna b an annoying bummer to exist around #still no joy for what i do tho. like i was working with a masters student last week and she was like oh yea it was fun #and im like *awkward pained smiled* bc it wasnt as bad as i thought but doing it for 2 weeks would kinda hurt s lot #so well see how much damage it does me #no joy. only tasks to do. things to accomplish. for what? why? who the fuck cares. not me #me. without feeling: it would b interesting to see if X and Y #interesting in a i don't gave a fuck sorta way. bleh. so bitter. burnout u never recover from #at least i feel better thsn i did in December. well see how long it takes to drive me under again. #its just weird to look back at the me of before who was excited abt things. i burned thr insides out of that person #but no tonight we r making better choices. no writing happening so we do something more fun #ugh. i just wanna think abt quantum l3ap. but no. other things to do. sigh... even in my fun time im not allowed too much fun :-( #unrelated

[pepprs]

also (this is it i promise) this is why i am so INSANELY excited to have my own room soon. like omg. it is definitely not perfect bc it’s at home and there’s a breaker box in it and you can hear footsteps really loud through the ceiling and also again *it’s at home* when i really need to not be living at home. but the quality of life improvement i am about to have is actually INSANE. i will be able to have a space far away from everyone else where i can sing without bothering anyone and play piano and decorate it (mostly) to my liking and have a desk and draw and paint and do whatever. finally!!!!!!!! that is going to fix me!!!!!

#purrs #i just wish it was permanent or that i had more years to spend in it. like i actually just want to find the place where i will live forever #and just stay there bc oh my GOD am i tired of living in places temporarily. i have so many issues w that bc so many spaces that were #formative for me have been destroyed (e.g. the van 😍😍😍😍 and my grandparents house 😍😍😍😍 and my favorite hs teachers classroom 😍😍😍😍) or are #going to be destroyed (e.g. the office where i work rn 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍) or ive had to leave them and move out bc they’re inherently temporary (e.g. #my on campus room 😍😍😍😍 and my room in brighton 😍😍😍😍😍😍). and ive had attachment issues w space / location : whatever my whole life like i wou #would have huge meltdowns whenever we were transitioning from like elementary school to middle school middle school to high school etc etc.. #so i really just um. would like permanence and stability please. im 24. im done w school for now and maybe forever. i want to find a place w #where i can just like.. stay. so if im paying rent like something that would allow me to renew it indefinitely and not fear bei ng kicked #out randomly or at the end of a determined period. i just want a home lol i want a homeeeee and i want to decorate it with all my things and #never be afraid that i will lose it and get to stay there forever and ever or at least as long as i want. bc my parents already have plans f #for my new room after i move out and i won’t get to decorate it as much as i want bc my mom doesn’t want me to damage the paint. but like if #i have a place of my own then i get to decide a little ding in the paint is worth it to put up my lanterns. you know? idk. the mortifying #ordeal of experiencing freedom like thisfor the first time in my mid-late twenties probably 😍😍😍😍😍😍 but still its gonna be good and i hope it #happens soon and i have to MAKE that happen. so yeah. #wishlist #delete later #ok now im done for real THJS time lol. my mom is gonna be so pissed at me ive barely lifted a finger here. but im enjoying the quiet what ca #can i say!!!!!!!! like OMG ok last thi ng…. like she’s always saying i have to love myself first before i get into a relationship and it’s l #like.. maybe my living conditions do not predispose me to be able to spend time w myself in ways that allow me to love myself!!!!!! #maybe always being on the defense and needing to find quiet spaces all the time and being shamed for that is not a very good way to experien #experience myself in the place im supposed to feel most grounded and comfortable!!! so yeah. #like maybe i stopped doing all the things i loved bc you got alexa and loud speakers and started blasting music all the time and dominating #space and becoming more and more high maintenance… 😳 (and obviously i changed as a person / played a role in it too but again my point / re #realization is… maybe it was in RESPONSE to stimuli that were not good for me and not just bc i suck as a person / am losing myself / etc.) #like theeeee sonic warfare of it all. also my brother is a key player in it too bc he raps and sings at the top of his lungs and it’s like 🤨

[arctic-hands]

Legit tho I've heard that the best way to make an atheist is to send a kid to Catholic school

#maybe that was my lapsed mother's intention when she considered sending me to catholic kindergarten #however my early-blooming psychosis-having ass would have been the exception to the rule #just being eleven and pychotic and going to baptist church was enough to do long-lasting damage and brainwashing #imagine being smol and believing everything you're told #I'm still mad tho that theta's New Jersey catholic school sex ed was better than my Indiana public school sex ed #her sex ed was basically 'don't do this before marriage but we know you're going to do it anyway so use a condom don't tell the pope' #mine was 'condoms don't work so don't bother using them' #why yes my school was labeled a baby-making factory in national newspapers why do you ask #and why yes my state had a massive HIV outbreak by the time I moved out #tho that was also fueled by the banning of needle exchanges #the planned parenthoods being chased out didn't help tho

[nexus-nebulae]

BRUHHHH i just found an old school notebook and my GOD the sheer amount of egg shit in here

#i found a drawing of a 'self-insert' (actually headmate but we didnt realise at the time #and like- something i didn't even expect to find egg stuff for- we've definitely been polymorphkin for a long time??? #the character was literally a shapeshifter who could take like 50 different forms #and this drawing is of her in chimera form where she has bits of different creatures on different limbs #like one dragon wing one owl wing #one cat paw one hoof stuff like that #and the funny thing is 90% of those kintypes carry to us now lol #specifically cat; owl; dragon; night fury and peryton #this wasn't a comprehensive list of everything she could turn into just the main ones i could fit #to be fair i do know we've experienced phantom limbs since at least the age of 12 #bc at the time i thought it was a normal enough experience to tell others about #but idk i forgot about this one #OH GOD OH NO I FLIPPED TO THE NEXT PAGE AND FOUND MY FUCKING HOMEMADE WARRIOR CATS CLAN 😭😭😭😭 10000 PSYCHIC DAMAGE 😭😭😭😭

[shadowglens]

portia definitely has a few run ins with the ghost crew and it’s not that they’re enemies (they are, for all intents and purposes, on the same side) but things never go very well

#txt #ch: portia zhaori #she and hera for sure clash a lot #in the same way that saw and hera clash #like they're all fighting against the empire but they're not all fighting for the rebellion if that makes sense? #ideaologically hera and portia have very different approaches to rebelling against the empire #hera has always been about hope and rallying and saving the people #while portia has always been more focused on the fight and causing damage and instilling fear in the empire than anything #its not that she doesn't care about civilians but she's definitely a bit blinded by the fight in the same way that saw is #his beliefs having for sure rubbed off on portia a long time ago #it's also ultimately a big part of what drove a wedge between her and cassian #portia is and always has been more dedicated to the fight than the cause and that's ultimatley why the partisans harldy survive the war #and the rebel alliance are the ones to suceed #:(

[arancar-no-6]

Grief is a strange thing, isn’t it.

#tmi but #I’m losing my sister this week and I am having a hard time coming to terms with it #she’s still here living and breathing #but her consciousness is lost to severe brain damage #we always joked about her going first #natural as she has been terminally ill for a long time #but I guess I was never actually ready to become an only child #I always thought it would be a ‘get a call in the middle of the night’ sorta thing #and not a ‘I have to make the choice to pull her off life support’ #again: grief is a strange thing

[silentgrim]

your art has been so cute and it's so sweet of you to do too! i keep looking forward to seeing whoever you end up drawing next :)

aaa thank you!!! 😭 i’ve been really insecure about it,,, tho i’m glad you like it! you just gave me a confidence boost so thank u! 🤍

#i have a long list of sims to draw #just need to fight for some time i’ve been really busy these days #luckily today i have the day off 🙏 #so we’ll see! #i do feel like i’m improving #which is a big plus! definitely my goal of this drawing adventure #considering i haven’t drawn anything since middle school…so like 10 years or so #my art teacher form that time was a HUGE asshole #she really bullied and degraded lots of kids #she got fired eventually #right when i entered highschool tho #but she had caused enough damaged to lots of kids myself included #so yeah #it’s been a huge step showing my art on social media! even tho i want to choke myself after posting it #anyway #much love to you anon!! 🤍 #thank you!!! #ask #anon

[yuyu-bubu]

shoutout to devi mccallion and ada rook for inventing music

#I've been listening to their peaceful as hell album and #i think its my favorite album. ever #its so mecore like yeah this world sucks but #there's a part of me that says fuck that i want to be nice to people and i still have hope others will too #ok my favorite songs so far #damage suppressor #beautiful friendship #im a freak cuz im always freaked out #and mirrorgirl #ok fine yeah i know thats like half the album #im not even done listening to it but i fucking love this album already #these lyrics just describe me so perfectly #i felt like that ''omg!! she's literally me!!'' reaction image the entire time i was listening #the funny thing is #i put off listening to this for so long because i didn't think i could handle their music #but this fits my tastes perfectly every song is a banger #ok music ramble over listen to this album or die bye #/j about the die part you don't have to listen if you don't want to hehe #yuyu thoughts not clickbait #music rambles #devi mccallion #ada rook #black dresses #peaceful as hell

[dashiellqvverty]

general warning that this post is about like serious topics and references csa/inappropriate relationships but anyway

we NEED to stop sucking pete wentz’s dick (especially in the context of propping him up over shitty guys from other bands) like. he very much did “date” a 15 year old when he was 23. like he did do that. i’m not trying to claim i’m perfect or anything like i literally still listen to fall out boy (i’m becoming more and more uncomfortable with that but like i’m dealing with that personally and stuff) i’m not here to tell you what you can and can’t do. but i am really sick of people presenting him as morally superior to other band men or just worshipping him in general

#a lot of people have tried very hard to prove it wasn’t actually that bad or she wasn’t that young #and i wanted to believe that but as j found out recently #the woman was on a podcast a couple years ago (about something completely different) #but was talking about her life and stuff and she didn’t mention him by name #but talked about getting into a deeply toxic and damaging relationship with a 23 year old when she was 15 and was like ‘obviously looking #back now i have a better understanding of how bad that is’ #and you know. there’s nothing else she could’ve been talking about #anyway like i said i was very willing to be convinced it was maybe not that bad but like. it is. #something i see come up a lot is that it’s like baseless accusations and it’s antiblack to constantly bring them up #and the thing is there are no accusations. she has never accused him of anything he was just publicly dating her!!!!!! #i don’t think it was super public or known until she was a little older but it wasn’t a secret. she’s mentioned in rolling stone. #HOWEVER i only ever see it brought up on posts/tiktoks by black creators talking about the fact that he’s black #like literally that’s the only time i’ve ever seen ANYONE talk about it in the past few years #which i think IS a problem. like it speaks to larger antiblackness and racism towards these creators that that’s the only time #it gets brought up #but everywhere i go it is just constant dick sucking and it already didn’t sit well with me when i thought it was maybe not As Bad #but it is and i am just sick of only being vague about it or not posting about it #csa mention #i never want to post about this bc i don’t want to be The Person responsible for breaking to people or whatever #i have put off posting anything about this for SO long like i saw so much comparing him to brendon as the better alternative #on tiktok and stuff #and i was like tiktok is not the place for this. but i just. it is hard to watch people post about him like he has never done anything #wrong in his life ever.