#she's in the stage and at an age where she grows so fast

[winterrrnight]

hey angel, please could you write a fic with soft rafe x reader where they have been best friends for years and are finally in a relationship after admitting feelings for eachother and they have cute happy moments where they remember they’re not just friends theyre finally in a relationship now?

Tysm x

oh my goodness, this took me so so long than it should've and I'm so sorry about that! I love and adore this idea so much, but for some reason I never felt satisfied with how I was writing it so there were too many restarts. But we finally have the final product! It's inspired by your request, I don't think it's exactly what you requested, but the main idea was kept in mind throughout. I hope you like this and is up to your expectations 💞

memories

PAIRING: soft!rafe cameron x gn!reader

SUMMARY: a little collection of some of your favorite moments with your best friend, lover, partner in crime all rolled in one: rafe cameron.

WARNINGS: small mentions of alcohol, but mostly fluff and two lovers being mean to each other because it's their love language 🫶🏻🤭

EDITH SPEAKS: thank you to my bestie @runningfrom2am who helped me out with this fic! she told me all her favourite memories with her own boyfriend and that resulted in this very cute fic so thank you sooo much raye 🥹🥹

There is a little KC Undercover reference in the fic, which is like, probably one of the most iconic dialogues of Ms. KC herself and I had this beautiful opportunity to use it so I just couldn't pass it up 🤭

I hope you all like this!! Please ignore any little grammatical/spelling errors. And please like and reblog if you like this 🪂

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It's so easy for you to say how your life has changed for the better when you and Rafe finally became official. He has been your best friend since you both were little, and now to see you both expand your relationship which you had formed since such a small age, always makes you feel like the happiest person on this planet.

It's no lie that it took you some time to finally get to the dating stage. After realising your feelings for each other, you both needed a lot of pushing from your friends to finally confess.

"He looks at you as if you're his whole world! Why aren't you telling him?" Your friends would groan, as they would catch you with your mouth almost agape as he walks past you and gives you a smile.

"No, I don't think he does," you would dismiss your friends' thoughts and before they could say anything else, you would be rushing to your class.

Now, fast forward to three years later, you both are in university and live in a shared apartment. You took your own time to reach to this stage of your life with each other, but you're so grateful where you are now, because there's no one else you'd rather do it with.

"When we'll grow old, we'll be roomies forever!" Rafe would tell you in his little squeaky voice when he wasn't even seven years old. You would giggle at him and eagerly nod. Who knew those little dreams will come true, and you both will be a lot more than just friends?

Sharing an apartment with Rafe is everything you've always imagined it would be, each night feels like the sleepover you had when you were little. Except this time, you don't have this fear of laughing a little too loud that a parent is on their way to scold you for being up for so late. You can laugh and talk as loud as you want to, eat whatever your heart desires and talk about any topic you feel like.

You both have your moments where you tend to forget you're dating and aren't just two best friends who share an apartment solely because they thought it would be fun. One time, you had one of your oldest albums in your camera roll opened, and you were laughing at all the pictures.

"Dude look at this one!" You laughed, finding a hidden gem. Rafe feigned shock as he looked at you.

"You did not just call me dude." He said, deadpanned. You pop a crisp in your mouth from the packet you're both sharing.

"What's wrong with that?" You asked shrugging.

"I'm your boyfriend, that's rude,"

"Whatever bro," you giggled, averting your attention to your phone.

"That's even worse!" He whined.

"OH MY GOD!" You yelled as you laughed out loud, the next picture on your phone seeming pretty unbelievable. It's from a Halloween night years ago, and you both totally forgot you dressed up very poorly as Barbie and Ken. But the thing is, you were Ken and he was Barbie.

You both were dressed in a hot pink from head to toe, and your make up is loud and proud. "You need to be Barbie again," you laughed, as you teased him by nudging his arm with your elbow.

"Definitely not," he chuckled, shaking his head.

It definitely doesn't stop here. It was your aunt's birthday and she had a big party, inviting a lot of your family. It was towards the start of your relationship, and you definitely weren't used to calling this idiot your boyfriend.

"And this is Rafe! He's my uh, my boyfriend! Yes, boyfriend, oh my god!" You said out loud, your aunt laughing at your reaction.

He only shook his head at you and flicked your ear. Your reflexes acted up instantly and your hands went to his hair to completely mess them up.

One thing about you both is that have been extremely competitive since you were little. You've always wanted to beat him in whatever game you're playing, bowling, basketball, or even just Uno. And when one wins, they make sure to remind the other about it every minute.

"Oh my god I totally crushed you!" You yelled, attracting attention from people around you as you jump up and down, looking at the final score of your bowling match with Rafe.

"I won, you lost, I won, you lost," you sang as you danced in front of him, and he just stood there, looking at you.

"Oh shut up," He groaned, walking away as you're there dancing to yourself. You laughed and ran to catch up to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and he instantly picked you up, you now on his back with your legs around his waist.

"I'm sorry bub, but I did crush you big time," you mumbled kn his ear. He groaned again, and then threatened to drop you on the ground. You let out a squeal and tighten your grip on him, which in turn made him laugh.

But you both are a whole another level of competitiveness when you are a team. There's not a single game invented which you both cannot win as a team, and the adrenaline rush you both get after you win results in some of the most crazy victory couple dances.

You found yourself at a party, and the game of beer pong is at an edge as people are watching you and him compete against another couple. It was the tiebreaker point, and if Rafe made the shot, you both would win.

"You can do this yeah?" You said, your hands holding his face as you looked him straight in the eye. "Just take a deep breathe, and shoot." He nodded at you and you handed him a ping pong ball.

He took his position and took a deep breathe in, clutching onto the ball in his hand. He shot the ball, and you watched from the side expectantly, your hands clutched together. It felt as if everything was in slow motion as the ball made its way to the other end of the table. You heard a soft plop as it landed in a cup of beer, and everyone around you started to cheer out loud.

You ran up to Rafe with the biggest grin on your face and he picked you up and spun you around. One of your friends came up to hand you the cup of beer. Rafe drank half of it, and then gave you the beer left to drink.

Everyone came up to you to congratulate you and hype you up even more, getting an occasional pat on your back. You looked at the couple who you both defeated, and Rafe made his way to them with you on his heels.

"Ding!" He said out loud. "That's the sound of the elevator, because you're not on our level!" He teased them and everyone around you gasped and cheered out loud, as you hollered around. The couple just gave you both a dirty look and leave, and you just looked at Rafe and gave him a high five.

"That'll tell 'em not to challenge us anymore," he said, wrapping his arm around your waist and kissing your head.

But what was the most concerning yet your favorite moment between you two was when he had this urge to be your knight in shining armor, but he also wanted to be the reason you needed help.

You were planning to take a little boat ride with all your friends, and as you all were standing on the dock, Rafe gave you a little nudge and dropped you in the water.

You screamed out loud as you went into the water, but quickly resurfacing as you swam up. You wiped your face with your hands as you pushed all your hair back, and when your eyes regained their focus, you saw everyone on the dock looking at you with utter shock.

You were gasping as you felt the cold water on your skin, when Rafe quickly removed his t shirt and came closer to the edge of the dock.

"Don't worry darling, I'm coming to save you!" He yelled with his chest wide as if he's a hero. You watched him jump into the water and swim up to you, and just as he reached you, you punch him in his arm, hard.

"What the fuck is this?!" You yelled, and Rafe came closer to you and wrapped his arms around you.

"What do you think this is? I'm here to save you," He said with a proud smile on his face.

"You asshole, you dropped me in the water," you said as he started to lead you towards the dock.

"What are you saying? You tripped off the edge and I'm here to save you. Did you hit your head on a rock or something?" He shook his head. You scoffed as he helped you get onto the dock. "I'm your knight babe, I'll always save you whenever you need to be rescued."

"What a relief." You said, rolling your eyes.

What he said that day is totally true though, all these times you've wanted help from someone, he's been there for you without fail. He picks you up everytime you fall down, even literally (but after he finishes laughing at you).

He makes you the happiest you have ever been. You'll always be so grateful for him.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @tahliac11 @sadfury

(If you want to be added, check out the 'join my taglist' post on top! + send in requests if you have any, but please read the 'requests' post first!)

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron obx #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe outer banks #outer banks rafe #rafe x reader #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #soft rafe cameron #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #soft!rafe x reader #soft!rafe #written by edith! 🪄

[ricciardoswife]

Podcast

Warnings: none

Summary: y/n talks life and all things motherhood in her best friends podcast

Materlist

Hello and welcome back to the simple life podcast my name is y/f/n and today we have y/n ricciardo with us. Firstly for those of you who don't know y/n has been my closest friend since highschool but also when i first started this podcast in 2020 if you have been listening since then the one person I've always been asked to have on is y/n and I finally managed to get her to come on y/f/n says laughing "you make it sound like I was avoiding coming on" y/n replied laughing. "Okay okay in all seriousness she's been itching to get on but she's never been in Perth long enough since covid the get the time but now she has plenty of time" y/ns friend replied back seriously

"So how have you been y/n" "I'm doing amazing lifes great at the moment it's slowed right down and we're just enjoying each moment as it comes I honestly feel like in the last couple of months we've been able to stop and take in the moment more. Also being back in perth has had its perks no doubt I love this place with everything I got"

"People will get mad if I don't ask this early on so how's daniel and baby Olivia doing" "Their both doing amazing olivias six months old and she's just loving life since we've been back in perth we take morning walks down to the beach as a family and her and daniel just love playing in the sand together. I love watching it because she's at the age where she's more in tune with what's going on and just seeing her and daniel interact is amazing"

"She's six months already it feels like just yesterday I was flying out to Monaco because you had gone into labour. Did she enjoy Christmas whats every day life like with a six month old " "Christmas in general was great we got to spend it with the whole family which we haven't been able to do since covid, Olivia was in her element opening her presents and I think she enjoyed it alot because her cousins were there so she had someone to play with. Yeh six months can you believe it myself and daniel are trying to soak everything in because she's growing to fast but I also like this stage because she's more aware of her surroundings too. Also she's got the biggest smile for everyone and this huge belly laugh that only daniel can seem to get her to do she's definitely her father's daughter" y/n says laughing

"On the topic of labor how was that" "it was tough don't get me wrong but I had daniel by my side every second which I was so grateful for and he's someone who can make me laugh even when I don't want to so looking back on it I was laughing through all of labor and delivery thanks to him I definitely couldn't have done it without him."

"How's your business going" "yeh it's going amazing we do hold little pop up shops every now and then and people love that too. There's a new collection coming out soon which I haven't told people about so I'm sure they will be excited by that"

"Any plans on giving Olivia a little brother or sister" "look we've both said it we would love more than one child but at the moment we so happy with life and she's only six months so maybe further down the line we'll try for another"

"I'll be hated if I don't ask this how did you and daniel meet its been what 18 years this year" " yeh 18 years, you know this story all to well because me and you talked to much in class I got moved next to the class clown who was also incredibly good looking. After weeks of him annoying me I finally gave in and went to get lunch with him. I never looked back since that day"

"When you were that young did you expect the two of you to still be together so many years later" y/n starts to laugh "definitely not I was a huge overthinker and I fell in love eith him quite early on but I knew Daniels plans to be an f1 driver and I had plans to go to college but we both knew wel over each other so we gave it a go and don't get me wrong long distance was really hard but it was so worthwhile. I don't regret any of it. I'm so thankful for everything I have in life especially daniel and olivia their both the light of my life and Daniels always been there for me and has helped me through so much"

"What's your take on life" "I like to just live in the moment cherish everything I have. I try not to worry because I know there's a solution to everything once I look for it"

"Quick fire round"

"Favourite flavour of ice cream"

"Mint chocolate chip"

"Farm life or city life"

"Farm life it's so much quieter"

"Mornings or nights"

"Morning person"

"Dogs or cats"

"Dogs"

"Favourite travel destination"

Iceland or Austin. Austin brings alot of fun but Iceland was where daniel proposed so its always gonna hold a special place in my heart"

"Thank you so much for coming on today y/n it's been a pleasure having you" " thank you for listening to me babble I hope everyone enjoys"

Liked by danielricciardo, yourfriendsinstagram, michaelitaliano and 45,333 more

Y/nricciardo I had the pleasure of speaking on @yourfriendsinstagram podcast about life and motherhood so please go check it out I promise its a good one

Dannyricfan Olivia sounds like the cutest child ever

Yourfriendsinstagram thanks so much for coming on

Y/nfann I love y/n so much

Dr3fann Daniels life with olivia and y/n sounds amazing

Dannyfann3 Only daniel can make olivia belly laugh 🥺🥺

Sorry I've been away for so long but I hope oyu guys enjoy and again as always send in your asks if you have any 🥰

#daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo fluff #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo fake instagram #daniel ricciardo social media au #endless love universe #f1 x reader #f1 #f1 imagine

[lfghughes]

Can’t Make Any Promises pt.2

a/n: once again i just kind of got carried away with my writing but for all my peeps that wanted a second part

Trevor

Jamies sister had left, leaving him to be the one to tell his best friend what exact he had just asked of his older sister. Not that it really mattered because she had said yes for the first time in all the times he had asked. Plus it wasn’t a secret that Trevor had been crushing on her, he never hid his flirting even when Jamie was around but he wasn’t sure if Jamie understood that it’s not just his usual flirty self that he was pretty sure he had actual feelings for her.

When Jamie pulled in Trevor definitely felt slightly more nervous than he had a hour back. “Hey man, did my sister pass by?” Jamie asked and Trevor nodded his head. “She sure did, she already headed out but actually I did want to run something by you real quick.” At that Trevor cleared his throat, the nerves coming up. “You asked her out on a date again, didn’t you?” Trevors jaw dropped a little. “She told me all the other times you did. I’m guessing she finally gave you a yes?” 

Trevor just nodded his head, was his best friend about to hate him now. “I mean I’m cool with it but if you decide you don’t like her and break her heart we’re going to have a problem.” Well that was comforting at least but Trevor wasn’t really worried about that. Now he just had to get ready for this date.

Readers P.O.V

You knew that Jamie wouldn’t be too bothered by it. Your brother had actually told you a few times before to give Trevor a chance and your only excuse was the age thing which shockingly he also did not understand. Maybe it was a guy thing. Anyways now you were getting ready for this date and you had to admit you were a little excited about it even if that small insecurity was still sticking in the back of your mind.

When there was a knock on your door you knew it was time to go and you had decided on a casual but cute outfit since it was just dinner and a movie. When you opened the door you were a little surprised at the fact that Trevor was there holding a small bouquet of flowers. “I stopped and got these for you. If you’re allergic or hate them though I can just toss them.” There was an edge of nervousness to his voice and you thought that was cute. “No, they’re beautiful thanks.”

The dinner had gone a lot better than you expected and you two talked about a variety of different things. It was actually pretty nice to talk to Trevor one on one without your brother there. The conversations were a lot less about hockey which you slightly appreciated. You had to admit this was one of the best dates you had gone on in a long while. The movie part was just as good except you craved talking to him a little more but because of the movie you weren’t able to.

It was pretty disappointing as the night came to an end because it had been a good time and now you were both standing on your front porch. “So any chance there could be a second date?” Trevor asked and there was a hopeful gleam to his eye. A small sigh left your lips “Trevor this was really nice but this still doesn’t change where we are in life. You’re young and you still have your party phase left and I’m just not there anymore, I’m more in the stage of settling down.” You wished that it could be a different story but you knew it wasn’t.

“Who says I’m not ready for all that same stuff. I had to grow up fast and I’m not some college kid. I have a secure job, I pay all my own bills, and I’m not looking to be out at some frat party every night. It’s a four year difference between us that’s it.” A sigh fell from your lips again and you knew he meant every word he said. “If you’re serious about it, I’d like to keep seeing where this could go.” You whispered to him and a small smile filled his lips. His hand went gently to the side of your cheek “Can I?” He asked and you nodded your head. He leaned in and gave you a gentle kiss before pulling away. “Maybe tomorrow you can come over? I’ll cook us both dinner. Your brother already has plans so it’ll just be the two of us.” You nodded your head a second time, looks like there would be a second date after all.

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras blurb #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #( cant make any promises ft trevor zegras )

[crybaby-bkg]

When you daughter gets her first period, you’re not there. Somewhere on the other side of the country doing pro hero shit, thankfully at the end of it, as all you can do now is lay in bed and wait to leave out so you can catch a flight back.

Bakugou, on the other hand, is at home with your kids. He’s mid flip of a pancake when he hears a bloodcurdling scream come from the direction of his eldest’s room. Immediately, he’s flipping off the stove and dashing upstairs, calling her name, panicking even more when she only garbles out a shaky help.

But when he gets there, he’s expecting everything—a villain, a huge bug, her little brother holding a booger to her face. What he doesn’t expect is to see her still on the toilet, teary eyed and sobbing, and a mess all over the bathroom.

“What the hell did you do?” He asks exasperated, but her even harder sob stops him in his tracks. He eyes her up and down, trying to figure out where the cut is and—oh. Oh, that’s what this all is. Immediately, he’s reeling, questioning, how the hell could his baby girl get her period so early? Is it really around that time? What the fuck is he supposed to do? Where are you? Does he throw a tampon at her and run for the hills to get some chocolate and ice cream??

But he remembers you in that moment. Remembers the early stages of your relationship where all you would ask for is him to be calm and understanding, for him to be gentle and quiet, for him to hand you your toiletries under the sink on the right side, start the washing machine, warm up his hands to be your personal heating pad. And he does just that, despite your daughter panicking and crying about not wanting to start her period just yet, he’s gentle with her. Soothes her, brushes back thick blond curls and kisses her forehead before he calls you from her phone to walk her through the process of cleaning herself up.

By the time you come home, they’re both laid on the couch. Despite her age and size, she’s cuddled up against her dad, damn near his twin, sleeping soundly as he grins at you when he sees you. He rubs a soothing hand on her lower back, and you kiss her cheek before planting one on his waiting lips.

“How’d you handle her first period, pops?” You ask him playfully in a whisper as you look over your daughter, still unbelievable that she’s growing up so fast right before your eyes. Bakugou scoffs though, cocky, as he brings you down for another kiss to mutter against your lips,

“Like a fuckin’ champ. Only got through it because I thought about you and the ways you want me to help.” His voice gets softer by the end of his sentence, and it’s enough to make you melt into him. He’s a good husband, you think, but an even greater dad. You couldn’t have asked for anyone better than the man you loved most in the world.

#I tried not to be too graphic but still wanted to get the message across!! #I thought about this earlier bc my cycle is kicking my ass #also my first period story is so funny to me bc #as soon as I saw blood I called for my grandad???!? lmfao why would I call him???? #and he IMMEDIATELY was like lemme get your grandma 🏃🏼 lmfao #but yes this was sweet to write #but I have a headache now :( #I’m gonna lay down and read as much as I can!! #tw: periods #tw: period talk #tw: blood #just to be safe even tho I don’t think I used the word blood?? #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #bakugou treats! 🍬 #dad bkg

[11queensupreme11]

When Percy has children, how long would it take them to grow up taking into account their divine parentage?

I mean, how long would it take as babies and as children and adolescents?

ok so (in my fic at least) ror gods grow up faster than humans, at least in their younger stages

have you watched twilight?? or at least the last movie where bella has a demon baby, rheumatoid arthritis (im kidding her name's renesmee). renesmee grew up REALLY fast before she eventually stopped aging and that's pretty much what it's gonna be like for ror godly babies. it basically takes them about 4-5 years until they become fully grown

(tho, of course there ARE gods who are just born fully grown like athena was)

this is basically why poseidon wishes he got to raise percy. because percy ages the same way as humans, she got to stay as a lil baby and a lil kid longer. poseidon wishes he could've had the chance to experience it 🥺💔

so if percy's a goddess when she's knocked up, her kids are gonna grow up FAST just like most godly children do

but if she's still a demigod, then i honestly don't know. her kids would be 25% human and 75% god, i wanna say they grow up faster than humans, but still slower than gods???

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| arsenic blues

[janort]

What’s the average lifespan of a clown? How quickly do they mature?

Also I still haven’t gotten my new clown girl yet >:(( I’ve been waiting patiently lol

Hello! Thank you for the question, clowns lifespans vary drastically from breed to breed and their rate of maturity is still under some debate from professionals, but regarding teacup-circus breeds I can offer my knowledge.

Teacups are often assumed to be short term commitments, much like how people see hamsters compared to dogs, but this is false. Teacups don’t typically live quite as long as larger breeds of clown, (scare-clowns, jesters, ect, are known to commonly age into their late 110’s) but they can easily live as long as a human, their average life-span is around 75-85. It’s not certain exactly why this is, there are a multitude of reasons, but even though teacups don’t typically live quite as long as larger breeds, they are still lifelong commitments and most importantly lifelong friends.

As for how teacups mature, it can depend a lot on what their crossed with, so general statements are not hard and fast rules, rather a rough estimate for the majority of teacups. They are typically considered chucklets (clownlets, chuckles, baby clowns, all common names) for the first 1-2 years of their life. This stage is where the most rapid development takes place.

After that they enter the juvenile stage and continue slowly mature until they reach adulthood. Some teacups grow slightly in size during the juvenile stage, some stay the size they reached during their chucklet-hood. That’s one difference between teacups and other breeds, their juvenile stage doesn’t contain major physical development, teacups spend their juvenile stage developing their brains and immune systems. Porcelain teacups develop a hardened shell when they’re chucklets and slowly build up more and more layers over the course of their juvenile stage. This is why younger porcelains heal better than older porcelains.

Once they’ve been through their juvenile stage they reach adulthood and are full-fledged clowns. Like humans, their development doesn’t necessarily come to a complete halt, but all their major changes have been completed and they’ve developed a core personality. Just like us, they will still learn and grow through the course of their whole lives, simply less in the sense of physical growth and more in the sense of personal growth.

During their later years, 50-70, they begin to slow down and become elder clowns. Sometimes they develop respiratory problems and joint issues, which can be managed easily with the help of a vet. Towards the very end of their lives, many experience certain pains because of age-related conditions and require medication. Some people tend to be scared of medicating their teacups because teacups are so small and seem as though their systems might be overwhelmed by medication, but keeping an elderly clown from pain management is needlessly cruel and with the help of a vet teacups will be able to enjoy their last years without trouble.

I won’t go into huge detail about end-of life care for a teacup because that’s a whole other topic that I could write on and on about, but it’s a process determined by you and your clown together.

So that’s the teacup life, roughly outlined, they are incredible creatures and surprisingly not as different to humans as one might think, in terms of lifespan and maturity. I’m so looking forward to when you get your newest clown, she really seems like something special, and tysm for the asks <33333 good wishes to all your little guys and best of luck with your new clown!!

Happy clowning :o)

#clown husbandry #clownblr #clown posting #clowncore #clowns #clown #clown care #clown doll #txt post #unreality #clownhusbandry #asks #clown asks #clown info #tytytyty for the asks #<333333

[calumthoodshands]

LUKE HEMMINGS for TUSH magazine

- Tailor made -

On stage, Luke Hemmings is living his bloom, For Givenchy Beauty, the butterfly follows a different trail of scent.

Von Domen & Van De Velde - Into the flowerbed -

Interview by Afra Ugurlu.

It's pouring rain in L.A. when Luke Hemmings joins our zoom call. Just in time, the frontman of 5 Seconds of Summer (5SOS) finds refuge in his car on the side of a quiet road, not far from the big Hollywood sign. A look in the rear-view mirror: At the age of barely 16, Luke and his bandmates from 5SOS found themselves in the middle of an international fanbase. Their songs enthralled especially because of the band's juvenile euphoria, and the Australians quickly soared to new heights in the middle of the YouTube madness of the 2010s. But what happens when boybands grow up? After a decade of pop punk influences and with a little more chest hair, Luke took upon a solo career path for the first time and in 2021 released his debut album “When facing the things we turn away from”; a whole new insight into the obstacles and the success of the last years, he later reveals.

Almost 10 years have passed since “She looks so perfect” and “Don’t stop”. What has the last decade been like for you?

I'm living my dream, what else can I say? It was all very intense. You just accepted whatever came at you. For eleven years, for as long as I grew up, that’s been my whole life. Quite crazy, all the stuff that just came flying at us. I don't know whether we would have allowed ourselves this, even if rather short, break if not for the pandemic. Usually it all feels so fast-paced, I often have to pause to mentally take it all in—if you asked me to describe the last decade, then it’d consist of so many moments like that.

Did you ever feel like you were missing out on certain things and experiences during all that hustle and bustle?

I think they were very formative years, so there are probably some life skills I missed out on. In retrospect, you wonder: when was I supposed to learn that? And then you try to somehow fill those gaps. I had to emotionally catch up, but also with things like doing laundry, running errands and so on. There are some more significant matters, like not being close to my family, not to mention that I was missing my home in general. But then you start to put all those thoughts into another perspective: we did what we always wanted to do: write music and perform.

I remember 2014 and 2015, black, ripped skinny jeans and vans. How do you see yourself now, regarding your style?

Pop punk has always been a huge inspiration, and it was simply the style of all these bands like Green Day, Blink 182 and Silverchair. Back then, I was an absolute late bloomer and had to first of all grow into my own identity. I think it was similar with the other guys. We had found a thing that worked, and just stuck with it. It also just felt like a risk to me, doing something other than that, especially in front of an audience. Around the time of our third album, I started to open up a bit more. Our music was changing, and with it our style. At that point I understood myself a little bit better. From then on it just kind of evolved, and I think it still does.

By now you are someone who likes to step out and look beyond the binary. Was that always something that you were interested in or did you rather find yourself getting into it step by step over time?

Where I grew up, people weren’t open at all, everyone wore the same thing. For a long time, it simply wasn’t even on my radar. And of course, I’m not doing anything that someone else hasn't already done before me. I think it was in 2017 when I just started experimenting with glitter and nail polish. From that moment on it all evolved a bit, but it's actually always been something that fascinated me. It just took a while for me to find that part of myself. I feel pretty doing it, and who doesn't want to feel that way? If you only go on stage with a tracksuit, that might be cool. But I'm not an extrovert, quite the opposite, and when I perform and feel so much bigger, it's almost like playing a character. The makeup only emphasises that and turns me into someone who is not introverted and lost in thought. That's the origin of it all, so to speak.

How can we overcome these toxic gender perceptions and behavioural patterns, and heal?

I think a lot of the stigma we experience comes from people projecting their own insecurities onto us. I understand it better now because I grew up in a place that was very toxic in that regard. I'm from West Sydney, which was very conservative. If you’re a man, you have to be really ‘masculine’ and I think that's just complete nonsense. And I think that just sticks with you, growing up like that. There was a time when I came home and didn't want to wear makeup on stage. There was no way I would have done that, whereas now I just do what I'm most comfortable with. Personal growth means putting yourself first and accepting that people will think what they want either way. So really, you should just do whatever you want. That’s the way I'm trying to see it now. It sounds very simple and banal, but I wouldn’t know how else to put it.

Congratulations, by the way, on the release of your first solo album, “When facing the things we turn away from”. Which things do you want to turn away from this year and what else is there to come for you?

I’m facing myself and trying to be more open with the way I deal with stuff. My wish is to just enjoy everything a little bit more. I constantly worry about what might happen tomorrow. I’m not really present or enjoying the moment to the fullest. Everyone probably says that, but I believe it's more important than ever to live in the here and now. We're always looking for the next thing. You want to be at home when you're out and about, on the road when you’re at home. Only when it's over do you see what you actually had going for yourself, and are frustrated; so no ‘Live Fast, Die Young’. But I also think that this year will be a creative one for me. I want to try out new things. We’ll see which doors are going to open for me.

What kind of creative directions are you thinking about?

I can't really say yet. But also in general I don't want to limit myself by excluding new paths. Doing something by myself musically like the album was very intimidating at first. In the end, though, it was very encouraging as well because it was the first time in a long time that I tried something new again. Obviously I love being in the band, it’s my home base. But the solo album is something I never thought I’d be capable of, and now that I know that I am it’s definitely something I want to pursue further.

How do you manage working both on your solo career and with the band at the same time, and are there any points of overlap?

I have a feeling that with the first album it was a bit easier. We were in lockdown and everything on the band's schedule had to be cancelled. Suddenly, I had more free time than in the last 10 years together. I don’t think I would have made a solo album if it didn't come about this way. With four people in the band, all great songwriters and each having their own projects in the pipeline, I feel like it's actually for everyone’s benefit to give other things a try as well. I wondered what it could be like to produce a song from start to finish, and learned so much in the process. Afterwards, when I return to the band, it makes me feel like I know so much more about the recording process and can thus also be a better band member.

How did writing and composing for only yourself change your overall sound?

I don't know whether it significantly changed my sound, but I feel more confident than ever. When you're in a band, you have the luxury to lean on other people and ask: What do you think of this? Do you think it's good, or should we change this? Or someone will encourage you when you're on the right track, telling you to keep going. With this, the only input came from myself. I had to trust my instincts and first of all understand what my own sound really did sound like.

You have no features on your album. Was it important to you to create your first solo album by yourself?

After 10 years on tour, it was quite good to be alone for once and deal with my subconscious. The album is so personal and emotional to me, it didn't really lend itself to include any features. Maybe someday, but I think it has to fit perfectly then. And who knows what’s coming soon. But I think the point and purpose of doing something by yourself is to get accustomed to working without your usual tools.

What did you learn about yourself while working on “When facing the things we turn away from”?

Newfound empathy and love towards myself. The stories of these songs and the lyrics are mostly things I’m dealing with for the very first time. It's almost like writing a diary, you don't have any idea how to start. You sit down and something comes out of it, and that’s what you then try to decipher.

#5sos #luke hemmings #sololuke #hope this helps! #if you click on the title you'll find the photos @ meg's post!

[softeningmyheart]

Hello and welcome. My name's Rachel. I made this blog because I'm interested in learning more about Islam. I feel called to Islam, but my heart is still torn because of fear and bad circumstances. So please be patient with me as I learn and grow. Insha Allah I will gain the courage and willpower I need to overcome all barriers between me and Allah.

I am not yet Muslim though. I have not taken my shahada. Please do not pressure me to grow faster than I am ready. I will take it when I am ready, when I am able to live a muslim life and exist within a muslim community. I have many barriers in my living situation and in my habits that keep me from being openly muslim or doing things like salah. Rather than judging me, please keep me in your prayers so that I might overcome these circumstances and be free to pursue faith as I choose.

I ask that men, please do not DM me. I am not comfortable with talking to men in private at this stage in my journey. I do not wish to invite any more negative temptations into my life than already exists. Muslim women however, please feel free to reach out. I am all by myself in my journey right now and I hope that will find friendship and sisterhood that will help me grow into a better person.

If you want to know why I'm interested in Islam, there's a few reasons.

Firstly, I feel abandoned by western feminism and I seek real and true sisterhood, without compromise. It feels like Muslimah are the only ones who truly understand what sisterhood is supposed to be, rather than just using it as a means to fuel her own ego and wealth at the expense of others. I feel like I have been encouraged to make myself vulnerable and unprotected for those with the worst intentions.

I have been taught that I am wrong for feeling violated by the exposure of my chest and my hair and I must learn to enjoy being objectified. I have lost all faith in western feminism to help women at all. Western feminists will never look after me or come to save me. It is every woman for herself, so long as she is sufficiently naked and consumerist.

All this, in the name of making a point for a movement that does nothing to actually help women in the worst situations. So for this reason, Islamic ideas of womanhood and the rights of women are highly appealing. Islam gives me the right to gatekeep my beauty. Islam gives me the right to protect myself from the predatory eyes of evil men. Islam tells me that I do not need makeup, or fast fashion, or plastic surgery, in order to be a woman because I was made exactly how I am meant to be by Allah. In Islamic feminist thought, I feel truly protected and liberated from the male gaze.

Some struggle to want the hijab. I struggle because circumstance will not allow me to veil myself. Hijab is a beautiful gift to protect women.

Another reason is because it is fully compatible with my own experiences of the supernatural, as a former neo-pagan and occultist. Through following these paths I saw some of the worst of humanity and I've experienced first hand how these things are not only real, but dangerous. Nothing I ever contacted or indulged in ever felt anything like Allah. No other spirit ever offered me guidance, respect, or protection like Allah.

I will not go much more in depth, because I know I should not project my sins, but I feel it is important to explain my background so you can understand where I am coming to Islam from. I was not a Christian, nor a Jew, nor a Buddhist. I was raised new age, I bounced between polytheist practices that led me down the dark path of the occult and Satanic. Now Allah has blessed me with a change of heart. I hope Allah will forgive me for what I did in ignorance. It is a long road ahead for me, but there is nothing beyond the power of Allah.

So that is why I feel called. There are many reasons, but here are a few of my thoughts on the matter. I have a very complicated life situation and a very complicated relationship with faith. I pray only that my heart be softened, my gaze turned to the straight path, and that the right doors will open to lead me toward truth and goodness in a state of flow and ease. I wish only to be a good person, live a good life, know community, know love, and know spiritual fulfillment. Please pray for me so that the right doors will open for me and lead me into a virtuous life.

#islam #muslim #muslimah #revert #islamic #convert to islam #muslim revert #muslim women #interested in islam #learning about islam

[dross-the-fish]

I saw your LO post and something stuck out to me. Most people focus on Hades as a love interest but you made the case that Persephone isn't wife material and I wondered if you could elaborate on that.

I presume you're talking about this post.

I stand by what I said.

This pink teenager isn't wife material, no adult over the age of 25 should look twice at her. This is because this character is functionally a child.

She's technically the physical equivalent of 19 but feels alarmingly younger than that because of her background and upbringing. Hades is supposedly in his 40's and has a full time job and his own assets. At my age and current life stage I'm actually a lot closer to where he's at than I am where she is and I cannot fathom what her appeal would be to anyone outside of her age group.

What is the allure? Is it the way adding her as a household driver would skyrocket someone's car insurance? Is it the way they'd pretty much be guaranteed to have to finish raising her? Instead of coming home after busting your ass at work and having another grown-up to talk to, you'd have to go through the emotional labor of having to play parent/teacher to this child who probably doesn't know how to write a resume and has never had to experience the mental, physical and financial burden of running a household. If you were to date someone like Persephone you'd have to be ok with never getting any kind of mental, emotional, or financial reciprocity because she's not equipped to function in an adult relationship as an equal partner.

That's a HUGE thing and when you get to be my age you will care about these things a lot more than you care about the frivolous "dating" elements that tend to be the focus of younger people's relationships.

Persephone would be incapable of relating to a character like Hades in any meaningful way and while it's cute, I guess, that she's "nice", nice isn't enough of a foundation to build a long term relationship. Due to her lack of age and experience she's not capable of giving advice or even actual comfort if someone had to come to her with typical adult concerns. At best she'd maybe be able to give empty sympathy and, I'll tell you right now, empty sympathy gets old fast.

A very long time ago I dated someone who was my age but at a totally different phase of life and it was a huge mistake. I'd try to talk to her about my job or an apartment I was considering renting and she'd just give me this glazed look like I was speaking another language. The only things I could talk to her about were media or college so when I needed to talk to another grown-up about the very real things I was going through (feelings of inadequacy at my job, concern over financial stability, finding affordable housing) I had NO ONE, because she had never had to worry about any of those things and couldn't comprehend how serious these concerns were. I think the last straw was when I wanted to go do something and she had to ask her parents for money and permission first.

We were both 22 and I had already had a job and my own car for 3 years and the idea of asking my parents for money or permission to do anything seemed ludicrous.

To be clear I don't blame her for that, everyone grows at a different rate and some people get to certain stages later than others, but it did really highlight that this wasn't a person I should continue to date and not someone I could ever feel like I was on equal footing with because she still lived and behaved like a teenager. We were the same age, but sometimes I felt like I was taking on a role that should have been filled by her parents and nothing kills a romantic mood like feeling like the only adult in the room is you.

So yeah, someone like Persephone shouldn't even be trying to start serious relationships, she should be learning how to navigate through life with her peers, people who are also still learning crucial life lessons. But that's not what's going to happen. There's something incredibly gross about the fact that the one who's going to have to teach her how to be a functional adult is the 40 year old man who's eventually going to marry her.

[gowonders]

Please Hyeju x 13th Member Reader Where she’s sorta like Yves, she hasn’t joined any company but ends up joining Loossemble and sorta Hyeju’s reaction to that? I’m sorry I can’t talk for shit😭😭

oh you KNOWWW i love writing idol!reader 😈😈 nah let me absolutely destroy this😋😋 i kinda turned this into a mini lil fic so.. HAHAHAHHA also i’m so so so so sorry this took me ages, ive hit a point where i hate everything i write 😭😭

super-glue ♥ s.hj

warnings; english isn’t my first language, not proofread, mentions of the whole loona situation (☹️), other then that, mainly fluff, lmk if i missed any!!!!!!

hyeju huffs over her phone as she texts you, she saw your message on how you just felt really demotivated from idol work after your last company really set you and the rest of the members up. her heart sank, she knew how you felt, but she definitely had the smallest hope that you could redebut together. ‘i get how you feel, yn! there’s no rush, take the time you need because it’s seriously deserved.” she responds, putting her phone to the side as she thinks over her career. she was going to sign with a company her some of her other bandmates were under, and she was over the moon to be with them, of course.. but you were close! like.. super glue level close, so the thought of possibly debuting without you kinda.. crushed her.

fast forward a few weeks.. and you and hyeju haven’t talked for a second. a little more, actually. you had been so busy catching up with all your family, and still figuring out what’d you’d do from here on out, and hyeju was so busy working on her redebut.. that you just didn’t talk all that much. and it killed her, and maybe killed you more. it wasn’t exactly intentional, but you both definitely felt bad.

and it definitely felt awkward to make a big decision without your other half. you had two ideas for the future lined up, either go back to being an idol and try to sign with a company, or start being a producer and songwriter. this was definitely something you’d ask hyeju about.. but you knew how busy she was! last time you met, she gushed about the new company and how she’s truly happy, having a stage name she actually likes, how the company isn’t an absolute chore to deal with.. and how she was redebuting any day now! and you were definitely proud, but you couldn’t really reach out to her, but you know how comebacks went.. you can’t really judge. but you really wished you could have her, in this one decision.. but..

you could make this a happy thing, for the both of you.

you had kind of been leaning to redebut anyways, and hyejus company didn’t seem bad at all with the way she spoke so highly of them, and to be fair.. your other bandmates were there too, you could surprise hyeju maybe? you could just tell how much she missed you, you guys were so close.

so, you might’ve spent your evening going to her company, and you might’ve asked if you could sign with them.. and your week was totally spent working on drawing up a contract.. which went through! that might’ve been the longest week of your life, but it was about to be worth it. really, really worth it.

“yn?” you hear from behind you as you walk in the hallways of your new entertainment. your eyes widen as you turn around, seeing gowon looking at you with a tilted head. “what has you coming around here?” she asks, a grin rising on her face as she sees you smile and start to explain. “i kinda.. maybe.. joined this company… and maybe the group…??…” you practically whisper, and her grin grows more and more. “wh- uh- i missed you.. but like, does anyone know?” she responds, moving to be next to you. you shake your head, looking at the girl next to you. “well, do you wanna see the rest of the girls?” gowon asks, a smile on her face.. but she wasn’t really asking.. it was more a command, and you couldn’t deny her. “how could i say no….” you trail off, and with that you’re getting dragged to a practice room.

“guyssss… look who’s here~” gowon says in a singsong tone, nudging you in front of her as you’re presented with four other girls from your group, and while you’re all happy to see them all.. you’re most happy to see the one you’re the closest to— hyeju! and clearly, by the looks of it, so is she, with the way she shoots up and runs to you, giggling as she closes you into a tight hug. “yn!!” she squeals, both a mixture of excited and shocked to see you. “i- i thought you were done with being an idol for a bit..!!” she stutters, pulling away from you and looking into your wide eyes, practically prioritizing herself over the others. “hm.. it was kinda a surprise.. let’s catch up? all of us?”

#gyuish: writes #hyeju x reader #hyeju soft thoughts #hyeju soft hours #hyeju imagines #hyeju scenarios #hyeju #loona #loossemble #hyeju fluff

[ninapi]

New to this (Akaashi version)

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Premise: Akaashi Keiji falls in love with a single mother and realizes she's all he wants for his life.

Word Count: 4528

Notes: Ok, so this story will be part of a series. It will be laid out like an otome game, meaning there will be three different routes for the same premise, different endings. The first story being with Akaashi.

Also I'm a bit rusty, so apologies in advance.

Chapter 1: Brighter days ahead

Spring season comes around once more, your favorite time of the year. Sunny days with unexpected rain, beautiful flowers everywhere. A light breeze heaves in through the kitchen window, making you shiver slightly at the unexpected cold and bringing back thoughts you normally throw to the back of your mind on most days.

Being a single mother isn’t exactly easy. Specially at such a young age. Being in your early twenties, you have been able to raise a very smart and gentle hearted toddler. You glance around the tight space, smiling as you see remains of the good life you have had with your son. A jar full of seashells that the two of you picked up on your last trip to the beach. Family portraits drawn by him when he was just three. Polaroid pictures littering the wall above your small tv, all smiles and blue skies, and of course, not to forget that blurry one of a beetle he found at the park the other day. Simple details, yet full of love.

Seeing all this makes you think how it all happened so fast, you can’t believe he’s already five, and thinking about the early stages of it all is still a thorn stuck in your heart. You can still remember being madly in love with the child’s father, waking up to his handsome face close to yours every morning, those tender kisses that you can still feel on your skin and even if time keeps moving forward, they still hunt you on your sleep.

You love your son, he is the best thing that ever happened to you, and you would do anything to see him smile. His eyes are beautiful, honey colored, soft, gentle, with long lashes and they crinkle when he smiles, always scrunching up his nose like a little rabbit, he is just adorable. You decided to let his hair grow a bit longer this year, he was starting to look just like a small version of his father and that was just too much for you, you couldn’t take it, not yet at least. Suppressing another shiver, you turn to your shared closet looking for warmth and silently wishing he never takes a liking to bleached hair.

In the same closet hung the uniform your son was to wear this morning, “Seiji” read on the bright yellow flower tag pinned near the sleeve. His first day of kindergarten, it feels like such an accomplishment for you to be standing here, proud of your son reaching another milestone, one he has been looking forward to for years now. It was difficult getting all the way here by yourself with no one’s help, but this felt like such a reward, he is growing up to be a wonderful little person and you were the only responsible for that. Always knowing you wanted kids one day, you assumed you’d be a good mother, but reality hits hard when you had to do everything by yourself.

The melancholic morning goes on as you push around your eggs with the fork, absentmindedly staring at your baby boy with a sour smile painting on your face as you think of the past. Your parents didn’t want to hear anything from you when you told them you were pregnant and haven’t seen them ever since. They didn’t even know where you lived nor met your son. Your boyfriend left you claiming he was definitely not the father of the kid, and that fact still bewilders you, how can he not be though? He was the only one for you and you thought he knew that. More images of old dates with Atsumu come flooding in, when he confessed to you on the rooftop of the school in your third year. Your first kiss. The first time he told you he loved you. How he used to hold your face in both of his hands and just stare into your eyes for hours. The sound of his shallow breathing when he was asleep. Tears threatened to come out and that’s your cue to get up and clean the table, urging your son to get up and dressed for school.

Turning to the sink, you discard your untouched breakfast and look through the window while rinsing the dishes with soapy water. More memories come, painful ones. “(Y/N), how can you cheat on me like this? Pregnant? Are you fucking kidding me?” said Atsumu getting up from the kitchen table of your shared studio. The cup he was drinking soda from shattering on the floor, making you jump from your seat. You were a nervous wreck, so confused. But most of all, hurt, from the way he was behaving. “I- I don’t know how this happened, but it did. Maybe that one night when I told you I felt a leaking…maybe the condom teared a bit?” you were now walking in circles, chewing at your thumb, “There’s no other explanation for this.”

“Oh, there is, (Y/N). Can’t believe you would cheat on me…” he scoffed, looking at you like if you were a miserable piece of garbage needing to be stepped on and thrown away. He then grabbed his jacket and left, slamming the door shut and causing a small planter to fall from its hanger on the wall. That was the last time you saw him. You waited for him to come back, he had to, all his stuff was still there. But you waited days, weeks even. You weren’t eating properly, barely sleeping thinking he would be back any second and you couldn’t miss it, but he didn’t come back.

Feeling dead in your own skin, you reached for your family thinking your mother would know what to do, having a baby was a lot of work and you didn’t even know where to start. But the first thing she asked was if you were actually having it. Hearing your mother say that to you was even worse than seeing Atsumu leave, of course you would have the baby, it was yours and a product of love, regardless of how things ended he was still the man you loved, your first and only boyfriend and a piece of him was inside of your now growing belly. Disappointed in your reply they gave you the cold shoulder, cutting off the money they would send you every month. “If you want to have that creature then work for it, a daughter of mine wouldn’t get pregnant so carelessly. Don’t ever call us again, (Y/N)”. You still remember how hearing that felt, you were alone, completely on your own. But that wouldn’t stop you.

You sit on the dining table once more, a simple looking Ikea table with just two chairs. Seiji has stopped needing his highchair a while back but still sits next to you and you can’t bring yourself to get rid of it. Gliding your fingers over the soft wood triggers more unwanted memories. When the child was born and you saw him for the first time, you knew you had to try and contact Atsumu again, it was impossible for him to think this was someone else’s baby. He looked just like him. Those beautiful honey colored eyes and tiny puff of dark hair on the crown on his tiny head. Even his sleeping face was like seeing him napping on a summer afternoon. But your attempts failed, most likely getting another number tired of seeing your missed calls and messages. Unnerved, you tried dialing his twin brother, Osamu was always so loving and supportive, he would certainly get you to him, but the same thing happened. How can they just disappear like that? Was it your fault? You were just so tired of this whole thing. So, once you got permission to leave the hospital, you took your son and moved to Tokyo. A bigger city full of new people, new beginnings.

You had to quit college, it was impossible to pay for rent, bills, food and college with a couple of part-time jobs. Besides you couldn’t get any job that would involve you leaving the house, otherwise you would need to pay for a babysitter and that was out of the question. It was rough, and probably the reason why you feel like you can’t throw away the chair you keep on staring at, you worked so hard to get everything you have now and even if it isn’t much, is home. Home for you and for your son, the true love of your life.

And today was his first day of school.

“Seiji, come on we gotta leave soon or you will be late on your first day!” you half yelled, sipping on the last remaining coffee in your mug, now cold and murky due to all your overthinking. And once again you think how beautiful spring morning it is, today will be a day you will always remember and you’re glad the weather is on your side. “Mama…” he looked at you with a not so amused expression on his face, making you look down at him and back from your little breakdown. He looks just like his father but reminds you more of his uncle most of the times and for this you were grateful, “You always tell me I can’t go out of the house without brushing my teeth properly. I need 5 more minutes.” he declared, climbing on his stool to reach the sink.

Your heart swell just a little with pride and suddenly that tightness in your chest just breaks, you have Seiji, you always had, even when all those hurtful memories were your day-to-day reality, he was already inside of you. And you realize, after all this time, that you’ve never been alone.

───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ───

Once the toddler finished getting ready, you two left the house in a hurry and you could see how nervous he was. Your son was fiddling with the straps of his backpack while he walked next to you in complete silence, something rare for him. You wanted to reassure him, but this was a new experience for him, there weren’t many kids his age around the neighborhood so being surrounded by kids was something he was both excited and terrified about. So, you settled for taking his smaller hand in yours and pointed all the little things you could find on your way to the school. “Seiji look!” you pointed to the only cloud lurking around a vast bright blue sky. “Doesn’t it look like the bunny we saw yesterday at the petting zoo?” you grinned at him happily, causing your son to grimace a bit, “Heeh? You think so, Mama? I think it looks more like a koala chewing on some leaves” you tilted your head to the side analyzing said cloud. If you were being honest, the cloud was just a blob that looked like nothing to you, you were just trying to distract him from his anxiousness. “Leaves? Hmmm…more like poop. Don’t you remember that show we watched the other day? They said koalas eat their own poop”. Your son looked at you puckering his lips out, simulating he was going to be sick, causing you both to laugh loudly at each other, the cloud long forgotten same as his worries.

And without noticing you were now staring at the gates of his school. Reassuring your son, you let him go inside the class with his teacher, “I’ll be back at 3, be a good boy!” you shouted after them and he turned his head to look at you, “This is it…” you thought, he was going to cry and run back to you, you’ve seen plenty of that in tv and you honestly don’t remember how your first day of school was but you were fearing this would happen to Seiji, but instead, he gave you his wide crinkled eyed smile, the one you love so much it hurts you every time. He would be just fine and so would you, you have each other after all.

Today was a complex day for you, full of mixed feelings and bringing out all your insecurities. Paying for his school tuition and all the things he needed for school was a difficult task with your current income, so you thought of looking for another part time, just one more, you can certainly have three now that he is in school. “I wish I could just get an actual full-time job with a good pay rate instead of needing three part-times…” you sighed, looking through the job listings in your phone. Everything was dreadful, long hours, low salaries, and on top of that you had to pick Seiji up at 3, there was no way around it. You found a bench near the closest convenience store and sat there after getting a bottle of tea from the vending machine next to it. You found a delivery job, for a flower shop, it wasn’t great, but it would definitely help. So, you called the phone number listed on the contact section and you actually got it without much hassle. The shop belonged to an old lady that had hurt her knee and wasn’t able to take the flowers on her own with her scooter. Since you knew how to drive one around and you mentioned your son’s school was very close from the shop, she just couldn’t say no to you.

───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ───

In a blink of an eye a month had gone by, you were exhausted but your son seemed happy. Today you made pizza toast for dinner since he has been begging non-stop for pizza and you were currently in no position to spend money on that, so that’s all you could give him right now, and he took it. You loved hearing him tell you all about his day in school. And he was now telling you about how he met this one girl who’s in the daycare section of the school, a year under him. “So, we read together during lunch break. Well, I read to her, she still doesn’t know all the words” he says between bites of toast, happily pulling it away from his face to look at the stringy cheese.

“That’s great, love. I’m sure she is very happy to have such a reliable upperclassman.” you chuckle quietly when you notice how he puffed his chest out at your words. He is such a sucker for this sort of compliments. He just can’t wait to be an adult, and you can just pray the time doesn’t go by that fast. You bring your hand to his face, swiping sauce off his cheek.

Seiji nods, beaming at you “She even shared her apple slices with me today! But they didn’t have bunny shapes, like the ones you do for me.” he pouts a little before shoving more toast in his mouth. You normally cut his apple this way as you know he loves animals, little things like this are his favorite and you could sense his sadness towards his friend not being able to enjoy them like he does. Such a gentle hearted boy.  “Well, maybe her mom is busy or doesn’t know how to make bunnies. If you want, I can cut bunnies for you two another day, I bet she would like that!” you try to cheer him up, his eyes lighting up at the idea and he hugs your arm “Thank you, Mama. I would like that very much.”

───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ───

The next day you received a very unexpected call that left you in quite a shock. “He did what???” you were taking your break sitting on the stairs of the back room. You couldn’t process what she was saying and asked for confirmation, needing the teacher to repeat what you just heard. “He pushed his classmate to the ground and his mother is making a fuss at the principal’s office. Can you please come?” you could hear the annoyance in her voice and loud screams on the background which you could just assume was the mother of the child yelling at the school staff. “I’ll be right there” you informed the teacher and explained everything to your boss. She told you to take the day off, she wanted to close early anyways to watch a parade in the tv.

You ran as fast as you could. It was about a 10-minute walk from the flower shop to his school, but you made it there in 3. Panting hard, you opened the door to the principal’s office, trying to catch your breath. And you noticed two adults and three children sitting on multicolored chairs, all looking at your unannounced entrance.

Your eyes darted immediately to your son who was jutting out a cut and bloody lip. You gasped at the sight and ran to his side, “Seiji, oh my god. What happened to your face? Are you ok, my love?” he nodded and buried his face on your thigh. Running your fingers through his silky hair you scanned the room. A very large woman with an expensive looking outfit, diamond rings, a designer bag with a tiny poodle inside of it and a large brim hat, huffing like a buffalo next to a just as large kid, with a band-aid on covering his elbow and a deep scowl on his chubby face. He couldn’t possibly be the same age as your son, “he’s gotta be at least 7…” you thought while moving your eyes to the chairs closer to you. There seated a tall handsome man, deep blue eyes, messy black hair, with what you assume is his daughter. A lovely little girl, who looked just like him big blue doe eyes, long braided black hair adorned with two hearts held by bobby pins. She was still crying, clearly scared by the whole situation, and you could see now what was going on.

You decided to sit next to the man, not looking at him but towards the little girl, “Are you Kimi by any chance?” you asked, smiling down at her, who scrunched up her nose to hold in her snot and nodded to you. “It’s nice to finally meet you, I’m Seiji’s mom. I heard you’ve been reading a book about butterflies.” you say trying to distract her and get her to stop crying; the principal clears his throat, snapping you out of the moment before the man had time to even introduce himself or thank you for helping.

“I summoned you all here to discuss the incident that transpired this afternoon” the principal says fixing his glasses up his nose without looking at any of you, whatever he was reading on his phone was clearly more interesting for him that this whole situation, “(Y/L)-kun pushed, Sakamoto-kun onto the ground, causing a scrap on his elbow. His mother here,” he signalizes grandly over to the fancy looking woman with an outstretched arm, posing dramatically “is looking for monetary compensation”.

That caused you and the man next to you to scuff loudly at the same time. “Seiji, did you push Sakamoto-kun?” you looked down at your son, rubbing soothing circles on his back to encourage him to tell the whole story. You were 100% sure that he did, otherwise he wouldn’t be sulking on your leg, but you know your son, he isn’t someone who would just hurt someone, he even avoids stepping on ants when you two play at the park.

He nodded and let go of your leg, stretching up to his full size and looking at you and Kimi’s father with a serious glint in his eyes, like he was about to give a speech and you knew what was coming.This would be interesting. “Remember when I told you this morning, I was going to finish reading the book we started yesterday?” you hummed in acknowledgement and your son continued, “Well, here I was, walking through the courtyard” his expression caused the man behind to grin slightly, very much intrigued by the toddler’s display, “I was looking for Kimi, who said would look for the book, and THEN” he changes his tone, making it more dramatic, causing everyone to be immersed in his story. This kid was something else. “I see Sakamoto-kun pulling at Kimi’s hair! I had to do something, mama. So, I ran to them and asked him nicely to please stand back from my friend as he was clearly hurting her. But what did he do?” he brings both of his hands to his face, pulling his cheeks down in despair and continues, “Instead of letting her go, he punched me on the face” both, Kimi’s father and you gasped at this bit of information and Seiji just nodded as if confirming how grave the situation was. “I weighed all my options and all I could do was push him to get him away from her. And that somehow got us all in trouble. I know violence is a bad thing, you say that to me all the time mama, but detective Connan once said” he air-quoted, “It’s not violence if you get struck first, its self-defense.” Satisfied with his recount of the facts, he sits on the chair next to his mother and crosses his tiny legs, closing his eyes and waiting for the adults to get to an agreement, he’s done his part.

The man next to you heaved an airy laugh, it was refreshing, you’ve only seen him scowl since you got there, “Seiji-kun, are you really just five?” he questions the child with an amused grin on his face and to this, your son only nods, opening one of his eyes in acknowledgement.

He is definitely something else.

“So let me get this straight” says the man beside you, now sitting up straight and glaring at the principal and the obnoxious kid across the room, “My daughter was being bullied by an older kid and this very brave young man stepped in to save the day. Why is this woman here requesting monetary compensation for a scrap? We both could sue the school for not being able to protect your students from bullying. Right…?” he looked at you, realizing he didn’t even know your name yet, “(Y/N)” you said with a small smile, looking straight into his eyes and ignoring the rest of eyes now all on you. “And yes, of course, I’m with you all the way. Kimi is 4, she shouldn’t even be allowed near older kids, is dangerous and totally the school’s fault.” Seiji let out a loud gasp, getting both of your attention and making you chuckle “Unless that older kid is my son, clearly. As he is willing to protect her no matter what” you said, glaring at the bald man behind the desk while patting your son’s knee, signaling not to worry about not being able to hang out with his friend.

But this was Kimi’s breaking point, she started bawling her eyes out again “MAMA!!!” she suddenly screamed and ran straight into your arms. This confused you, to say the least, but held her close, nonetheless. “I bet you were so scared” you said to her gently, rubbing her back while stealing a glance to her father who shut you an apologetic glance. “Let’s get your hair all pretty again, come here.” you lifted her small body over, getting her to straddle your lap. Pulling a wet tissue out of your purse, you cleaned her tear-stained face, and combed her hair, re-doing the braid that had been pulled by the violent five-year-old. “There! Now you look just like a doll once more.” smiling down at her, she returned your smile, proudly saying “Papa always makes sure I look cute, so he made my hair like this for me today!” a thought came right up to you “Papa, huh? So, this is why her apple slices aren’t bunnies. Her mother is probably very absent, that’s why she’s a bit confused right now, hearing I’m Seiji’s mom mixed with all the stress of the day probably triggered something inside of her.” in thought you beamed at her without making any unwanted comment and went to put her back down but, clinging to you for dear life she refused to leave your side and so, you let her be.

The man assessed the whole situation, how you looked at his daughter with such an adoring expression, like she was your own. He was also very impressed on how you managed to calm her within seconds, it always takes him at least an hour to get her to stop crying. And he suddenly was very aware of how beautiful your smile was and became grateful that you were there, otherwise he would probably have to take Kimi out of that school as he would of punch a hole in that ridiculous looking principal.

“So” he cleared his throat, “I expect Sakamoto-Kun to at least get a disciplinary action for his behavior if you don’t want us to sue the school or call the press. Now if you excuse us,” he held a hand behind your back, motioning for you to get up with both toddlers hanging from you, “We have better places to be at right now.” Following his lead, you excused yourself and held your son’s hand, walking out of the building.

Once you had picked up their backpacks, you headed over to the front of the school where the man was waiting for you.

“Akaashi Keiji” he said, looking at you like if it was the first time. You saw his eyes sparkle a little, the side of his lips curling up slightly. “Kimi’s father as you might have noticed.” he starts walking and you trail behind him with a nod. “I was thinking…what do you guys think of getting some pizza?” he looked back at both toddlers with a wicked smirk on his face. Your son letting out a screech now clinging to Akaashi’s leg, probably his favorite person in the world right now. “I think that’s a yes” you said, chuckling at your son’s excitement. “He’s been thinking about pizza for weeks now” you cradle the sleepy toddler in your arms and ask her softly if she would like to go to get some pizza with Seiji, this waking her up instantly and making her bounce excitedly, clinging to your neck.

“It’s a date then.” Akaashi mumbles quietly only for you to hear and begins walking towards the Pizza shop. You noticed the scowl on his face from before was no longer there, making you smile. Wait, what? “It’s a date?” you repeated after him, jogging a bit to catch up with the gang, now walking next to each other. You haven’t had a date in over 5 years, you start derailing with silly thoughts about your hair and make-up choices for today.

Anybody looking at you right now would only see the perfect family out for some fun, even if that was very much far from reality.

○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●

Next chapter Masterlist

#haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyu fanfiction #akaashi keiji #akaashi keiji x reader #Fluff #Angst #Family Fluff #Single Parenting #Slow burn #hurt/comfort #fukurodani #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x f!reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu dads #dad!au #haikyuu daddies

[beccalendsahand]

ZuCasino, Yuzuka Rei: October 2022

Long time no translations! It's been a busy year but I finally found the time to finish an interview that I really really love, I hope you are able to understand more about Rei with this sweet Q&A! ZuCasino is a current segment in Takarazuka Graph magazine where prominent otokoyaku get interviewed via a series of casino-style games and questions. October was with Yuzuka Rei. I've tried something a little different this time around where the first time an actress's name is mentioned I link her takawiki page. I've also done translation notes as I go rather than putting them all at the end. Let me know if you find this helpful or just too much. Without further ado, enjoy!

Part 1: Episode Roulette

We challenged Yuzuka Rei to play our Episode Roulette game!

(Rei has been given a roulette wheel, each section has a topic of conversation, whichever she lands on she has to answer)

A Joke That Went Wrong

Episode 1：

Alright so, this is something that happened to me today. Earlier today I went to the quick-change-station* backstage to pick up some hair products for our photo shoot. But then suddenly, our flower troupe musumeyaku from the 100th class* (Oto Kurisu, Hoshikaze Madoka and Itotsuki Yukiha) popped out of nowhere wearing Japanese biker gang outfits!!! I think they had mistaken my footsteps for those of another classmate because they jumped out in sync pulling the same funny faces as if they had known I was coming!  It was so hilarious I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at them! (laughs)

*The "quick-change-station" is an area in the wings at the Takarazuka theatres where the actresses can change between scenes, it has dressing tables and any costumes/props needed for quick changes but it's not part of the actual dressing rooms. *100th class refers to the 100th class of actresses who graduated from the Takarazuka Music School, Takarazuka is based on hierarchy, not just hierarchy within the star system but also hierarchy based on years in the company, so what class people were in at TMS is quite significant, and actresses have a strong bond with those in their troupe who they were at TMS with. When Rei refers to “another classmate” she means another girl from the 100th class. Later on in this interview, Rei will refer to one of her own “classmates”, Rei’s class was the 95th class.

Something you've been thinking about

Episode 2:

My baby nephew has been on my mind a lot! I often get sent videos of him, he’s over a year old now and has started walking and saying things that sound like words, I can’t get over how fast he’s growing. There’s quite a lot of us in the flower troupe who have nieces and nephews around the same age, so I like to know how they are doing too. Even though I haven’t met them in person, because me and the other flower troupe members are always sharing videos with each other, I feel like I’m watching over them. You know how when you were little you would get those adults who would come up to you and say “Ahh look how big you’ve grown!”? Well, I’m pretty sure I’m becoming that person!

A Special (insert here)

Episode3:

When I’m performing, I like to try and use my eyes like a camera and take pictures of everyone's faces to save to my memory. Those of the flower troupe and those of the audience. There are lots of times when I see someone's lovely sparkling smiling face and I think “Ahhh I wish I could share this with someone”. So, I want to create my own “Special SSS Seat View!”* Like, you know how when you go to theme parks you can buy photos of yourselves on the rides? It could be like that, after seeing a show you could go to Quatre Reves* and get the photos straight from my brain.

*In Japanese theatres, seats are divided by B, A, S, and sometimes SS seats too. In the Takarazuka theatres the SS seats are the middle block of the first floor at the front, so what Rei means here is that what she sees standing on stage is an even closer view than that, therefore her view would be called SSS. *Quatre Reves is the Takarazuka merchandise store, you can find them at the theatre as well as in major cities across Japan and online!

Praise someone!

Episode 4

I want to praise everyone on this earth! I think none of us expected this fight (covid) to go on for so long, but even without an end in sight, we have all carried on, one day at a time. There are probably people out there who feel a loss in confidence, and aren’t able to fight on…So I feel like we and the audience are like “comrades” living through this era of great change together. 

There is a lot of pain right now but the fact that everyone keeps going and doing there best is amazing!

Part 2: Card Game

(Rei has been given 2 decks of cards with words written on the back, deck 1 has an adjective, deck 2 has a type of person. She must take one from each deck, name a person that relates and give us an anecdote about them.)

Deck 1: Cute, Passionate, Must-See, Respected, Bizarre

Deck 2: Upperclassmen, Underclassman, Teacher, Classmate, Flower Troupe Member

Passionate Underclassman*

The “Fashionable Empire” Rockettes

When I was watching the rehearsals for the Rockette number I found myself thinking “wow they really are the picture of youth!”. They are all just so energetic and have a high awareness of the space and each other, you can tell they are thinking about how to make the dance the most effective, they are such promising underclassmen. It was a Rockette dance delivered with so much confidence!

*Underclassmen generally refer to actresses who have been in the company 7 years or less.

(Fashionable Empire, 2022) Cute Classmate

Kizuki Yuuma

We were reunited for the first time in forever in the musical “Top Hat”, it was funny though because she’s a senka member now, so everyone was treating her incredibly politely which she seemed quite humbled by (laughs). On stage, she had an immense stage presence in her dandy-style costume, and her character had a high tolerance for people's behavior, but in the wings and in the rehearsal rooms she would bow more than anyone else! I found it very cute how she would suddenly get smaller and smaller and smaller*. Her embarrassment was in huge contrast to how much she helped us throughout the show, in the way she would speak to the underclassmen and the wonderful insight she gave us into her thoughts on the performing arts. It was just so adorable to me, I remember thinking “You don’t have to make yourself so small!!” (laughs).

*In Japanese culture it's common to lower yourself when speaking in order to show respect for someone higher in age or status than you. So what Rei means here by Kizuki getting smaller and smaller is that she was probably bowing her head and bowing with her whole body so often to everyone that she was getting smaller and smaller, which is quite a funny image when you consider how she usually towers above every other actress. Kizuki recently transferred from the Moon Troupe to Senka (a troupe made up of superior members who guest star in different troupes) so there's no need for her to be lowering herself when she is actually higher ranked than everyone else, but she's not quite used to all the politeness and respectful language the actresses are giving to her yet, so she still feels a little embarrassed and finds herself doing it back to them. 

(Top Hat, 2022) (from left to right: Minami Maito, Kizuki Yuuma, Yuzuka Rei) Must-See Flower Troupe Member

Mikaze Maira

She's been Kumicho (Troupe Leader) * for half a year now and she looks after us all by giving us positive encouragement and strengthening the troupe morale. I think she makes it easy for us to all unite and move towards the same goal together by guiding us, not only in the arts but in our emotions as well. Please pay attention to our Kumicho who is full of charm and positivity! *The Kumicho (Troupe Leader) is the oldest member of the troupe, it is her duty to support the troupe and basically make sure everyone is okay, she is usually the first port of call when an actress is struggling with things like stage fright or other worries. Mikaze transferred to Flower Troupe from the Cosmos Troupe with current Flower Troupe Top Musumeyaku Hoshikaze Madoka in 2021, and took over from Takashou Mizuki as Kumicho in 2022

(The Fascination, 2022)

Part 3: Dice Game

(Rei has been given a white dice and a black dice, similar to the last game, whatever number she lands on has an assigned word, white dice adjectives, black dice nouns, the difference this time is whatever she gets she has to perform!)

White dice: 1. Cool 2. Sexy 3. Powerful 4. Flirty 5. Sweet 6. Dynamic

Black dice: 1. Face 2. Flying kiss 3. Wink 4. Pose 5. Back pose 6. Kabe-don

Part 4: Big wins at the Zucasino Question Corner

1. If you are already doing well would you place another bet? I think I usually stop myself when I start thinking about going all in on something. So rather than taking another big bet, I’m the type of person who quits while they are ahead.

2. Are you daring? Or cautious? Tenma Michiru once surprised me by saying “I used to think you were a cautious person, but actually you don’t care at all!”, her idea of the difference between daring and cautious people sounded quite black and white to me. It’s true though that I do just go for it when making decisions. For example, after deciding to move house I moved the next week, and the time between me discovering Takarazuka and enrolling at the Music School was very short.  Timing and chance of course had a lot to do with it, but I do think that when it comes down to those life-changing decisions I get this feeling of intuition to just go with my gut, maybe that's when I become daring.

3. How do you spend big money? For the last 3 years, we haven’t been able to do any trips or go out for any meals together as a troupe, so I’d like to hold a big event where the current troupe members and those who have left the troupe from 2020 onwards all go on a gorgeous trip to Hawaii together! There are so many places I want to go explore so maybe it could be a 3-4 day long trip where we can do our own thing, and then we could plan some kind of special event to do all together during our stay! The girls who have only been in Takarazuka for 1 to 3 years and those who have joined the flower troupe from other troupes like Hitoko-chan (Towaki Sea) have not experienced our dinner entertainment tradition yet, and many of the upperclassmen are itching to perform again so, I think we should put on a banquet and have a good time! Other things I’d like to spend big money on would be buying a holiday home for my parents and maybe starting my own business. Maybe something to do with children's education, something that mothers would appreciate….But I need to know how to spend money wisely first, time to study up!

4. Are you lucky? Or unlucky? I think I’m a lucky person, I’m very happy! Every now and again there are moments where I look at my life and think how happy I am that I am able to make art with the people I love. I may not be lucky enough to win in raffles or lotteries (laughs), but I’m overwhelmingly blessed to live a life surrounded by the many things that I love.

5. What is the luckiest moment you’ve experienced in your life? Entering Takarazuka was a big moment for me, both a lucky and a happy moment (laughs). Not only did I get to be a part of something I love but I met so many lovely people and learnt all sorts of things! Takarazuka has taught me so much, not just about the performing arts, but about being a person as well, I think if I hadn’t joined Takarazuka I would be completely different to who I am today.

6. A moment you’ve betted on In the early stages of joining the Takarazuka Music School you have to make the decision of whether to become an otokoyaku or a musumeyaku. But at the time I was still getting used to it all, I was kind of drowning, overwhelmed by everything, and so I completely forgot that I needed to decide…And before I knew it, we were all lined up about to make our decision! Everyone in turn saying “musumeyaku!” or “otokoyaku!” down the line! My height at the time meant that I was on the threshold between musumeyaku and otokoyaku, and so I was worrying and worrying like “Ahh which do I choose?!”. But then I heard the person before me say “Otokoyaku!” and in a spur of the moment decision I went “Yeah!” and said I wanted to be an otokoyaku. I guess you could say that was a bet? I wonder what would have happened if I had chosen to be a musumeyaku instead. I would have had to use completely different muscles, so my shoulders probably wouldn’t have broadened like they have now…Choosing to be an otokoyaku was a big turning point in my life.

7. A moment that was a close shave! The time when I was still a junior in the company and decided to climb Mt.Rokko by myself on my day off. It was a nice day despite it being winter, and so after enjoying the mountain to my heart's content I strolled back to the bus stop, only to discover the buses had already finished for the day! Looking around frantically I realised there was not a single soul to be seen, I was all alone, it was getting cold and windy and the sun was starting to set… After standing around in the cold for about 20 minutes, just as I started to worry for my life, a cyclist came speeding down the road towards me. But he passed by so fast there was nothing I could do to get his attention, but then he came back and gave me a ride to the cable car! I was one step away from ending up being a news story. I hope that man is doing well…

8. Something you want to protect with all your life The number one thing i want to protect is everyone's smiles. Maybe it's unrealistic to ask for, but I don’t want anyone's smiles to be clouded by anything, not those of the troupe, not those of the audience, or anyone I meet. Everyone is working so hard every day, the people who look after the company so that we are able to perform, the people who come to the theatre, the doctors and nurses who continue to fight to save lives, everyone, so their smiles must be protected. We are forced to endure a lot which can make our hearts feel heavy, but it's for that very reason that I want to be able to capture the smiles of the audience with my “Yuzuka Camera Lense”! No matter your birth, upbringing, age, or gender, people from all walks of life come to the theatre, lose themselves in the story being told and laugh and cry together in that shared space. How amazing is that? I’m so grateful to get to have that experience and so I want to continue to protect it.

Part 5: My Treasure

Illustrations from manga artists I have been fortunate enough to get to be a part of several plays based on famous manga, and have been gifted original illustrations from their creators. Yamato Waki who made “Haikara-san: Here Comes Miss Modern”, Hagio Moto who made “The Poe Clan” and Kamio Yoko who made “Hana Yori Dango/Boys Over Flowers” . Even now whenever I look at the pictures they drew for me I have a deep feeling of amazement of just how great their work is.

My beloved dog, Noir He’s so intelligent that it’s like he’s a human trapped inside a dogs body and at any moment he’s going to start talking to me. He is in tune to so many things and keeps at juuuust the right distance from me, all traits that would make me want to marry him if I could, he’s so cute!

Letters I’ve received from flower troupe members There is a custom in Takarazuka where you give “Pre-Raku Cards”* to those who have looked after you during the performance. I’ve kept all the ones I have received so far. It just makes me so happy that in these letters the actresses get to share with me thoughts and feelings that they don’t normally get to say to me. 

*Senshuuraku is japanese theatre speak for the final performance of a show, it is usually shortened to “Raku” by both fans and actors. “Pre-Raku Cards” or “Maeraku Cards” is a short hand for “Mae Senshuuraku cards” or “The night before closing night cards”. Celebratory messages from fans My album full of birthday cards, top star anniversary messages and other milestones is my number one most precious treasure. “No matter how far the distance may be, my heart will be your side…” This is a line from the song “An oath made on the wind” from “Haikara-san: Here Comes Miss Modern”. During the initial period of the pandemic, these words would often come to mind and they became a phrase which is now very close to my heart. The underclassmen who couldn’t perform the show quoted this line in a video they made during the theatre shutdown, it really cheered me up at that time.

Videos and photos from the flower troupe During the last performance cancellations, I was sent many videos of things like funny little updates, and people singing whilst playing the ukulele. Performance cancellations are so hard, but if we hadn’t of had them then these exchanges would never have happened..

Video title: “I will become the wind” Misora Maru Ukulele Version Picture: Flower Troupe Love Picture Caption: “Flower Troupe Love” Will never end!

Behind the Scenes!

Thank you for reading! For more Takarazuka translations click here

#takarazuka #takarazuka revue #yuzuka rei #translations #my translations #becca translates #theatre #japan #宝塚 #柚香光 #花組 #hanagumi #flower troupe

[markantonys]

crossroads of twilight chapter 15-end

elenia and mellar have so many rude and infuriating and incorrect and evil thoughts about elayne and i cannot wait for her to kick their asses into next tuesday

in mellar’s pov we hear a whole lot of instances of him killing women, because of course Killing A Woman is the sign of true evil and our heroes are good because they only kill men and spare women even when it is a COLASSALLY STUPID MOVE BECAUSE THE WOMAN IN QUESTION IS EVIL AND DANGEROUS AND WILL KILL AGAIN IF LEFT ALIVE. anyway.

i forgot to say this in past books but i go crazy over the fact that at this stage in the series, egwene has a horse named daishar and rand one named tai’daishar. they are foils!!!!!! (egwene and rand, not the horses. tai’daishar and jeade’en are the Horse Foils of the series, and i miss jeade’en immensely. fuck tai’daishar, all my homies hate tai’daishar. no i’m sure he’s a good boy, it’s just that i'm devastated about what he symbolizes about rand’s character arc.)

egwene has reached tar valon! after leaving for that destination 4 books ago! she thinks about how the white tower is Home. girl you were in the tower for a grand total of, what, 3 months? lmao

egwene is thinking about how she has only bad options in front of her (there’s no way to take back the tower without people dying) and has to pick the one that’s least wrong. the parallels with rand!!! they are foils!!!!

“how long ago had it been that she reached tar valon by that same route [a ship]? almost beyond memory, it seemed. an age gone. it had been another woman who came ashore and was met by the mistress of novices.” “egwene compared the farms they passed to those in the two rivers. perhaps the realization that the two rivers was no longer home made her study them. acknowledging the truth could never be a betrayal, yet she needed to remember the two rivers. you could forget who you were if you forgot where you came from, and sometimes the innkeeper’s daughter from emond’s field seemed a stranger to her.” 😭😭😭 KIDS GROW THE FUCK UP SO FAST THESE DAYS 😭😭

egwene going “of course i’m willing to negotiate with elaida! my terms are her complete and total surrender 😤” an icon and a legend, i love her

“leane paid minute attention to her clothes since joining the green ajah.” 🙄 not sure which is more annoying, the fact that Being Hot has become leane’s entire personality (she really was the blueprint for min huh?) or the fact that Being Hot is the entire green ajah’s entire personality. the concept of switching ajahs would be so interesting to explore if leane had had ANY motivation for it besides “i want to be green so i can fuck” lmao

from the next chapter: “[leane’s report was] written on thin sheets of paper in a flowing elegant hand. egwene could not see exactly why, but you could never doubt that anything leane wrote had been written by a woman.” passages that make you shout WHAT out loud jkfjgh even leane’s handwriting is Hot, i guess!

a couple of aes sedai have managed to make ter’angreal. dammit, that’s elayne’s thing! i know The Point is that knowledge is being rediscovered and channelers are growing more powerful again, but every time i see someone who can do elayne’s special talent, someone who’s even stronger in the power than nynaeve etc, i sulk. they are my special once-in-an-Age girls, thank you very much!

egwene’s learned how to make cuendillar! did moghedien teach her or did she figure it out on her own? i don’t remember it being mentioned before, and i feel like it should’ve been. why didn’t we see egwene making this discovery? all the interesting things are happening offscreen between books in this portion of the series. we’ve barely seen egwene in the past few books, but of her little screentime, i could’ve used less Sitting In Tents Worrying About Things and more Making Groundbreaking Magical Discoveries.

update: egwene did discover it by herself! moghedien “pointed the way” but didn’t actually know how to make cuendillar

“‘aes sedai should not be making things for...sale.’ salita invested that word with all the scorn of a woman who accepted the income from her estate in tear without ever thinking how it had been come by.” JSKDJFG egwene went for the THROAT the innkeeper’s daughter from emond’s field IS still in there

“she did not even know where in the world gawyn was, or what to do if she learned. he had his duty to andor, and she hers to the tower. and the one way to bridge that chasm, bonding him, might lead to his death. better to let him go, forget him entirely. as easy as forgetting her own name.” STARCROSSED................. (and once again, egwene-rand parallels! thinking their love interest is Better Off Without Them)

i HAVE been wondering, if egwene bonds gawyn (which she knows she will due to prophetic dream and i know she will due to spoilers, but i repeat that i know nothing else about gawyn’s future besides this bare fact and the bare fact of his ultimate fate, but no clue how either thing happens or anything else he might get up to, so if you spoil me on even the most minor thing about him you’ll be my enemy for life. he’s probably my least-spoiled major character and i want to preserve that!) anyway if egwene bonds gawyn, what will elayne do? who will be her first prince of the sword? poor birgitte’s frothing at the mouth for gawyn to come home and take all those responsibilities off her plate. hey you know who would be a GREAT first prince of the sword? MAT!! altho maybe it has to be a member of the queen’s family. oh, so elayne can just marry mat and then he’s an official member of house trakand, boom, all problems solved for everybody!

aha, following up from our discussion the other week, egwene confirms that “swearing on the oath rod shortens our lives by half at least”

egwene: no one wants to die before they must rand: [looks at the camera like he’s on the office]

there are rumors circulating among egwene’s aes sedai that there are aes sedai under rand’s control. “no one had mentioned Compulsion aloud that egwene knew of, but they had to be thinking it.” “‘i don’t want to think about using the fact that rand may have Compelled sisters. i don’t want to think about the possibility that he could have.’ neither about the possibility that he knew such a repulsive weave, or that he could lay that weave on anyone. she knew it - another little gift from moghedien - and very much wished she could forget how to make it.” damn lots to unpack here! 1) egwene knows compulsion!!! um!!!!!! Yet Another thing i wish we’d seen her learn onscreen (but as always, disclaimer that maybe we did and i just forgot). i wonder if she’ll end up using it after all someday, it’s too tantalizing to slip in that she knows it only for nothing to ever come of it. 2) once again, lack of communication is hindering everybody and making the series twice as long as it needs to be. 3) ever since loc i’ve been foreseeing rand vs. egwene conflict about rand making aes sedai swear fealty to him, and we’re fiiiiinally starting to see it brewing. 4) egwene hates the thought of rand using compulsion and doesn’t want to entertain it, but she can’t help a seed of doubt. it hurts how far apart these two have grown from each other! while i found their relationship in the show un-compelling at the time (going in knowing nothing about anything, i clocked right away that they weren’t endgame so it just felt like the show was wasting my time trying to get me invested in a bland childhood romance) i’m retroactively glad that it was made so much more serious and more loving than it was in the books, bc that’ll make them growing apart later hit even harder than it does in the books (where it’s already hitting me pretty hard!) i was listening to the soundtrack while working the other day and the track that plays when they’re holding hands in shadar logoth made me choke up, that moment specifically is one i’m eagerly looking forward to revisiting after having finished the books. on first watch i was kinda like whatever at that scene but having the context of the books and thinking about how young and innocent they are in that moment and how hard their journeys will be and how far apart they’ll grow, i just know i’m gonna Weep.

siuan straight up thinks cadsuane is a darkfriend LMAO i wish! that would’ve been such a good twist

“eventually they would have to deal with him, somehow. she had grown up with rand, yet she could not allow that to influence her. he was the dragon reborn now, the hope of the world and at the same time maybe the single greatest threat the world faced. maybe? the seanchan could not do as much damage as the dragon reborn. and she was going to use the possibility that he had Compelled sisters. the amyrlin seat really was a different woman from that innkeeper’s daughter.” IT HURTS YOUR HONOR!!! and yet AGAIN rand-egwene parallels, rand being disgusted with himself for using people and thinking that his old self is a stranger to him now are things we’ve seen countless times. people who hate egwene because she clashes with rand are fools and hypocrites who are missing the obvious foiling going on between them. of course they clash! that’s the whole point! that’s what it’s all About! they are foils!

egwene & co all think the forsaken have a huge weapon that destroyed shadar logoth and caused the massive channeling output. rand, please just tell people what you’re doing dear god you’re causing so much unnecessary mass panic! on the other hand, this fear is the impetus for the aes sedai to decide to make an agreement with the asha’man, which to me seems like good progress in theory but on the other hand we know taim and many asha’man are darkfriends, so it may turn out badly. still, aes sedai and asha’man working together is something we do need! in theory!

this also proves the point that so much unnecessary and OOC lack of communication happens solely for plot convenience. like if rand and nynaeve had told elayne and avi what their plan was, as it would be in character for at LEAST nynaeve to do if not also rand (sure he’s trying to protect them, but if he can tell min his plans and BRING HER ALONG ON THEM it makes no sense that he wouldn’t also tell elayne and avi), then they would’ve passed it on to egwene by now and she would know the forsaken don’t have some weapon, so she would’ve been able to placate the aes sedai and no proposal to ally with the asha’man would’ve been made. but since this proposal is likely necessary for future plot, rj had to come up with a motivation of some absurd Forsaken Mass Weapon fear that isn’t even REMOTELY true.

“[too many other places in tel’aran’rhiod] turned out to have eavesdroppers. or bone-deep sadness. she hated seeing what had become of the two rivers since she left.” 💔💔 it’s lame that perrin is the only one who went back to emond’s field bc i feel like he’s the one of the 5 i’d be least emotional about doing so lmao if egwene, rand, nynaeve, or mat went back i’d lose it (tho mat mostly just in the context of show mat with his sisters, book mat i don’t think i’d be too emotional about it)

egwene and avi meet up in tel’aran’rhiod!! oh i’m so happy to see them interact again!! avi comes dressed in fancy wetlander silks (but still with rand’s bracelet) and is then embarrassed and changes them to wise one’s clothes. i can only assume this is because in her heart of hearts she wants to be elayne’s sugar baby.

apparently pregnancy makes elayne unable to use the dream ter’angreal to go to tel’aran’rhiod. rj is making up weird and random pregnancy + channeling rules left right and center. i bet there will end up being some plot point where elayne has a problem that could’ve been solved if she’d been able to talk to somebody in tel’aran’rhiod, hence this pregnancy channeling rule.

“suddenly, [aviendha] grinned. her emerald eyes seemed almost to shine. ‘[elayne] has a wonderful temper sometimes. she threw the ring down and jumped up and down on it.’” fond wife!

“oddly, aviendha took it in stride that elayne was with child, though egwene was convinced the woman loved rand too.” poor egwene, clueless about the avirandlayne throuple. also, i swear on my life egwene was also completely clueless about avi/rand being into each other back when they were all together in tsr-loc?? since when is she aware there’s feelings there?

“egwene would not have thought it of elayne, though! and rand!” why don’t you just fuck gawyn and maybe you’ll calm down

“no one had actually said he was the father, and she could hardly ask something like that” i feel like you could ask that of your very best friend, egwene. i feel like that would be an ok thing to ask. if my BFF gets mysteriously knocked up you bet your ass the first thing out of my mouth is gonna be “who did you fuck??” on a serious note, more fractures in the gang, if elayne apparently isn’t even trusting egwene with the knowledge that they’re rand’s babies :(

fuck i am SO mad nynaeve got separated from elayne before finding out she was Pregnant Out Of Wedlock jkfjgh seeing nynaeve react to that would’ve been SO FUNNY (tho also infuriating, i’m sure - egwene’s judginess here is bad enough! but at least she concedes “the rest of the world was not the same as the two rivers. light, she had come far enough to know that much. she did not have to like it, but she had to live with it.”)

speaking of nynaeve, does she not come to TAR anymore? do the 3 of them not still have standing meetings? because since min is incapable of telling rand about the babies, surely elayne could tell nynaeve in TAR to tell him! Inexplicable Lack Of Communication For Plot Reasons strikes again. or more accurately, for Character Arc Reasons since knowing that he’s gonna be a dad and having that hope for the future and motivation to live past tarmon gai’don would interfere with rand’s downward spiral arc

ah, avi does confirm that they’ve heard from neither nynaeve nor rand. maybe nynaeve is avoiding TAR bc she doesn’t want them to find out about the top secret saidin cleansing mission. which, again, it makes no sense she wouldn’t have told them about. egwene i can see, since she’s so firmly entrenched with the aes sedai as an institution and nynaeve and rand want to go rogue on this mission, but why not have told elayne and avi? god knows elayne is keeping plenty of secrets from the tower already, she would’ve been down to handle 1 more.

upon hearing about the proposed agreement between aes sedai and asha’man, avi’s clothes change into a cadin’sor but “incongruously, the ivory bracley still hung from her wrist although maidens of the spear did not wear jewelry.” no matter how she’s seeing herself, whether as maiden or wise one or wetlander sugar baby, her love for rand is constant ❤️❤️😭😭

“aviendha was in training to be a wise one, and garments or no, she was being a wise one...part of egwene wanted to smile. her friend was changing from the often hotheaded maiden of the spear she had first come to know. another part of her remembered that the wise ones did not always have the same goals as aes sedai...it made her sad that she must think of aviendha as a wise one instead of just a friend.” fractures in the gaaaaang 😭😭😭 also, i feel like a lot of avi’s character development is locked offscreen bc we get so little of her pov. we’ve heard that she’s resumed her training but have seen nothing of it. i want more avi pov!

“if aviendha did not mention it, then the matter was something she and elayne wanted to handle themselves. surely she would have said something if it was anything egwene should know about. or would she? sighing, egwene set her cup on the table...and rubbed her eyes with her fingers. suspicion truly was part of her bones now. and she was unlikely to survive long without it.” EGWENE-RAND PARALLELS and elayne too, we’ve seen this a ton with her since arriving in caemlyn

“‘tell elayne to take care of herself. you take care of her. and her babes.’ ‘i will,’ aviendha said, now in the blue silk.” avi’s clothes changing as she’s mentally returning to her role as elayne’s wife and sugar baby

“‘but you must take care of yourself. i think you use yourself too hard.’...[egwene] was not using herself too hard. only as hard as she needed to.” egwene-rand parallels again! and avi caring for egwene ❤️ if only rand and mat and perrin could still talk to each other and look after each other the way the girls do. i have been saying this in literally every single recap post for the past like 4 books but i never stop being upset about it every time i see the girls staying friends and maintaining their support network and the boys being cut off from every loved one except their one (1) designated girlfriend! rand even has 3 girlfriends but only gets to interact with 1!

there is literally no reason (besides Plot-Mandated Lack Of Communication) why elayne couldn’t have made dream rings for everybody and handed them out! she’s seen mat and rand since learning how to make them and could’ve made them some, and perrin can get to TAR on his own (tho he doesn’t know what it is yet). i want everybody to have dream ring friendship bracelets dammit!

egwene Prophecy Dreams of mat bowling (because bowling exists in randland, nice!) but the pins turn into dead men, and an illuminator is somehow involved. some kind of battle-y thing mat will be involved in that will result in a lot of deaths, i imagine.

another Prophecy Dream of egwene herself being saved by a seanchan woman. i predict this must be either tuon or egeanin since we don’t know any other major seanchan women yet (but of course rj is a huge fan of introducing additional characters at the eleventh hour lmao)

also Prophecy Dream of seanchan attacking the white tower. oh man, they’re gonna get that far inland? no! get outta this continent! the seanchan prove that tweet that was like a single texan is a great addition to any story (egeanin) but more than one is bad news (the rest of the seanchan)

i was convinced mesaana was theodrin but now i think she’s tarna. but whoever she’s revealed to be in the end, there’s a good chance my reaction will be “i don’t even know who that is” because there are 98034985 random aes sedai side characters i can’t keep track of (i had no clue who tarna was until she referenced her trip to salidar, which jogged my memory that she was the representative from elaida whom elayne and nynaeve saw way back when)

dramatically vague discussion between pevara and tarna about a note from toveine gazal that “changes the whole world” but it means nothing to me because i don’t even know who toveine gazal is. edit: a chapter or two later she shows up with logain and jogs my memory that she’s the aes sedai he bonded. she was literally in the prologue of this very book and i already forgot jkfjgh

this is the problem at this stage of the series. too many side characters! too! many! there are like 7 major plotlines going on, and each one has a big cast of side characters who eat up screentime by having their personalities and quibbles with each other gone into in detail (the AMOUNT of TIMES i’ve heard about all the quibbles among egwene’s aes sedai and rand’s aes sedai and nobles and perrin’s camp and the white tower contingent. at least mat’s crew is relatively small and easy to keep track of.) they eat up screetime and yet are completely unmemorable and i can’t keep track of any of them, so it’s just a huge waste of time.

cadsuane pov: “verin knew more about that sort of relations with men than she did - she had never believed in indulging with her own warders, as some greens did, and other men had always been out of the question” verin knows more about. about. oh my god does verin fuck????????? i-

“cadsuane did not think the other sister knew min was bonded to the al’thor boy. she herself only knew because the girl had let too much slip in a careless moment.” MIN STOP BLURTING OUT SENSITIVE INFORMATION CHALLENGE! GOD! and let’s not forget that it would be elayne who would get in by far the most trouble for this since she’s the one who did the weave, so min’s put ELAYNE’S ass on the coals here. next thing you know she’s gonna be telling cadsuane that elayne is pregnant with rand’s babies! goddamn!! early series perrin has definitely passed the “blurting out secret shit all over the place” torch.

cadsuane pov is good because every time she interjects “phaw!” into her narration i lose my shit

but i’m still struggling to see why she needs to exist. she has contributed nothing to the story so far.

we’re introduced to the aes sedai elza (or maybe reintroduced for all i know) who’s extremely loyal to rand. but a chapter later we get her pov and find out she’s a darkfriend. RJ STOP REVEALING DARKFRIENDS 2 FUCKING SECONDS AFTER THEY’RE INTRODUCED CHALLENGE i want to scream!!!!! there is no mystery! no traitor twists! instead i am forced to sit here watching characters be unknowingly surrounded by darkfriends for multiple books (egwene and halima (well forsaken but w/e), elayne and mellar, rand and taim, even elaida and alviarin not that i care about elaida, but it’s the principle of it) which is probably supposed to feel suspenseful but is just frustrating. like, the reveal of natael’s and keille’s true identites at the end of tsr was so surprising and satisfying, more of that, please!

“what was [rand] to do about [min]? about elayne and aviendha?” “was it too late to keep min safe, to keep elayne and aviendha safe?” we are two goddamn paragraphs into rand’s pov and already getting “min!!!! and elayneaviendha blob” i am so fucking sick of this i hate it here!!!

“all he had of them at the moment was a general sense of direction and the knowledge that they were alive. min’s body was pressed tight against his side, though, and the bond made her as vibrant inside his head as she was in the flesh.” I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!! genuinely i think that rand/min makes me angrier than almost anything else in the entire series, aside from the nosedive that is mat’s character development (more on that later). i would rather read an entire book from perrin’s pov than one chapter of rand/min. okay no i take that back. but it’s a near thing.

“without warning, min punched him in the ribs hard enough to make him grunt. ‘you’re getting melancholy, sheepherder.’” because as we all know, the best thing to do if your partner is depressed is to punch them. “[the wound] was not the same side that min had fisted - she was always gentle with that, if not always with the rest of him” i feel like your girlfriend should be gentle with ALL of you, rand. i feel like that would be a good thing for her to do.

“‘you have to do something,’ min muttered, folding her arms beneath her breasts. ‘logain’s aura still speaks of glory, stronger than ever. maybe he still thinks he’s the real dragon reborn. and there’s something...dark...in the images i saw around lord davram. if he turns against you, or dies...’” whoever pointed out that min’s viewings accomplish nothing but making rand’s paranoia worse (butterflydm i believe?), you are SO right. min has no clue what her viewings of logain or bashere ACTUALLY mean, she’s just speculating that they’re bad news for rand, which could be completely off base for all she knows (especially the logain one - maybe he’s gonna get glory by HELPING rand at the last battle, ever think of that?). thankfully, right now rand doesn’t seem pressed about it and just says he has to do what he can, not worry about what he can’t. but i can’t imagine it helps him to have a cassandra stuck to his side foretelling unavoidable doom and gloom 24/7 especially when half the time she’s just making up her own interpretations and misleading rand to believe she knows them for facts!

side note: if anything happens to bashere i’ll kill everyone in randland and then myself!!!!

“the woman carried more knives tucked about her than thom merrilin had. or mat. colors whirled in his head, almost resolving into...what? a man on a wagon seat?” 1) min carries more knives than thom and mat and yet has never ONCE done anything useful with them that i can recall. all she does is flourish them to look hot or stab them into the wall to look threatening (threatening to rand more often than to anyone else). 2) even RAND notes the similarities between min and mat, dammit! mat is the superior mischievous knife-wielding brunette non-channeler love interest for rand! 3) the colors and the seeing what the other person is doing goes both ways! cauthor crumbs! i will note that rand did not have a single thought about perrin in this entire book (all 1 chapter of his pov). just saying.

we see rand seize saidin for the first time since it was cleansed. i feel like this should’ve been a bigger deal. first of all, going into the series i thought the taint on saidin was gonna be a bigger problem than it ended up being, and second of all, i was picturing a really emotional moment of rand feeling clean saidin for the first time, but that just didn’t happen. granted, he still has his other weird saidin sickness going on (triggered by that guy in shadar logoth whose identity i am 99.9999% sure of but hasn’t officially been confirmed to me yet) which kinda cancels out the lack of the taint, but still! in the early books he struggled so much with the taint, it would’ve been satisfying to see him actually........be happy that it’s gone now.

loial is here! and says “you don’t know how good it is to hear you calling [rand] sheepherder, min” which i suppose is a part of the whole “min helps rand remember who he used to be” thing which is absolute baloney because min doesn’t KNOW who he used to be. she met the sheepherder ONCE. where is mat when you need him?? (off in ebou dar having pottery thrown at him by his future wife, that’s where.)

“aviendha assumed that he would marry her, and elayne and min as well, in the aiel fashion. elayne appeared to think so too, strange as that seemed. he thought she did. what did min think? she had never said.” min thinks that she wants you all to herself but doesn’t want to look bad by saying so, that’s what. also, not all relationships have to end in marriage! same thought earlier when egwene was all huffy about rand and elayne loving each other and having babies together while Not Being Married, Oh The Horrors! this attitude is just so obviously a product of the author’s own culture rather than something that makes sense in-universe. the emond’s fielders i can see, since they were raised in a tiny community with traditional values, but i feel like avi and min would be much more open-minded and less set on Marriage As Endgame (and elayne sort of since she knows much more of the world than the emond’s fielders, yet at the same time that was more like textbook knowledge and her actual life experiences had been very sheltered, not to mention that as a person she’s such a hopeless romantic that it makes sense to me for her specific character that she would seek Marriage As Endgame). and yet, even among the aiel with their views on relationships that boggle wetlanders’ minds, they don’t even seem to conceive of a romantic relationship not resulting in marriage. mat was our ONE character who was happy to have romance without marriage, but of course he’s going to change his mind in the end now that tylin and tuon are whipping him into Proper Husband shape. i mean, personally i love marriage, i love when characters get married, i would love to get married myself someday, but i just don’t think it’s realistic that this entire cast of characters with wildly different personalities and cultural backgrounds would all feel the same way lmao

“it isn’t like with you humans, min. you do everything rand asks.” LOIAL JUST ABSOLUTELY MURDERING MIN LMAOOOOO it’s true and he should say it!

“‘it has to end!’ rand thundered, echoed by the crashes in the sky. he had doffed his coat before this interview, and rolled up his shirtsleeves to bare the dragons twined around his forearms in scarlet and gold, the golden-maned heads resting on the backs of his hands. he wanted the man in front of him reminded with every look that he was facing the dragon reborn.” 🥵🥵

“he suspected flinn would fight as hard to hang on to corele as she to him; he was fairly certain there was more between those two than the bond now. well, if an aes sedai could bond a man who channeled, what was to say a pretty woman could not fix on a gimpy old man?” rand says as if that doesn’t happen all the time in this series 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

“davram bashere appeared even shorter than he really was alongside the ogier” short king!

“no matter what you’ve done, it is time to turn your eyes to the black tower before taim splits it worse than the white tower is. if he does, you’ll find the larger part is loyal to him, not you. they know him. most have never even seen you.” logain, that is a very fair point.

on the subject of taim: is he demandred in disguise, or was he originally supposed to be but then rj changed his mind? because i have seen “taimandred” referenced but as of now it doesn’t SEEM like they’re meant to be the same person, and i’ve seen mentions of demandred’s and taim’s original plotlines being changed partway through. if they really are the same, don’t tell me, but if they were originally supposed to be the same but then that was shelved, do tell me so i’m not like “we’re popping the biggest bottles when taim is revealed to be demandred!” and then it never happens jkfjgh

“[logain] knew saidin was clean, but he could not believe rand or any man had actually done the cleansing.” poor rand is busting his ass on the group project and not getting any credit for it. when a bad thing happens everyone assumes he’s behind it even if he didn’t do it, but when a good thing he actually did do happens, no one will believe he’s the one who did it 😔

“did he think the creator had decided to stretch out a merciful hand after three thousand years of suffering? the creator had made the world and then left humankind to make of it what they would, a heaven or the pit of doom by their choosing. the creator had made many worlds, watched each flower or die, and gone on to make endless worlds beyond. a gardener did not weep for each blossom that fell.” damn, rand’s getting philosophical! and depressed!

loial: “even you [rand] can’t face the dark one! i mean, i know the prophecies say you will, but that has to be just a way of speaking.” bless his optimistic heart

rand wants to arrange a truce with the seanchan noooooo babygirl you’ve gotta wipe them out before it’s too late! but then, it already is too late, they’re spreading all through the continent 😔

“it was good to have someone he could talk to about missing faile. [berelain] listened, and smelled of sympathy.” this would’ve been an excellent throuple if only perrin and faile weren’t both so painfully monogamous. but no even then i wouldn’t see any romantic chemistry between perrin and berelain (if she’s being sincere now and really has dropped her attempts to pursue him, then their newfound friendship is so wholesome!) so i think they should be co-spouses worrying about their wife together. that’s the dream!

“wil gave perrin one of those open, innocent looks that fooled so many girls back home” so wil is trying to flirt with perrin, then? bicon wil al’seen! “wil liked too much embroidery on his coat at feastdays” perrin why don’t you get more embroidery on your own feastday coats and maybe you won’t be so bitter

“[medore’s] coat, with its puffy green-striped sleeves, looked odd on her bosomy frame. the daughter of a high lord, she was every inch a noblewoman, and men’s clothing just did not suit her.” perrin quit being a blacksmith to become a member of the fashion police, i guess.

“neald grinned too much since the shaido were found” the two greatest enmities in WOT are rand vs. the dark one and perrin vs. men who smile

perrin is in such faile tunnel vision that upon hearing there are DEAD PEOPLE WALKING in so habor he’s just like “whatever, they’ll have to deal with their own problems, i gotta save faile” jfkgj DUDE

i’ve heard no spoilers whatsoever relating to this, it’s so intriguing and spooky!!! i should’ve paid more attention to the ghost elayne’s maid said she saw earlier in the book

also, another potential positive of the show’s laila addition is that it will make perrin’s faile tunnel vision in this plotline so much more understandable and sympathetic and heartwrenching (tho i still hope the show will give him additional things to care about in his life besides just faile)

oh damn!! Dark Perrin coming out in full force in his desperation to save faile!! oh damn!! and his conversation afterwards with elyas about violence was so well done, and then him sticking his axe in a tree and leaving it there. one of the best scenes in perrin’s entire pov to date.

and now perrin is going to consider allying with the seanchan to save faile. SIGH. no truces with seanchan! no!

“in truth, those silvery leashes and the three sul’dam were the only real lever [mat] had with the aes sedai...not that he really thought about putting those collars on the sisters again. not often, anyway.” ugh mat. what’s happening to you? is this the beginning of him just being fine with marrying the seanchan empress and becoming complicit in the enslavement of women who can channel? this is not MY mat, i can tell you that much. his arc and characterization peaked at him saving elayne from the gholam and since then has taken a steep nosedive.

“‘it seems suroth might have made an alliance with some king,’ juilin reported with a smile over a cup of mulled wine. at least thera seemed to be making him smile more.” unlike perrin, mat IS a fan of men smiling (also, this much-talked-about alliance the seanchan have just made is defs the one with perrin since he’s quite nearby (but i bet he and mat still won’t ever cross paths!!! ugh!!))

“‘most of the settlers seem to have been sent east,’ thom said, peering sadly into his cup. as juilin grew happier day by day, he seemed to grow sadder.” FWHFGHLSFGKLJL THOM/JUILIN RIGHTS literally HOW else am i supposed to take this besides as thom being jealous of juilin and thera

“he needed someone to attract tuon’s ire, someone to make him seem acceptable by comparison” so, exactly what rj did for tuon with tylin lmao

“tuon sat cross-legged on the floor playing snakes and foxes with olver” okay cute! +1 point for tuon

“‘toy doesn’t mean to be rude,’ tuon murmured in that slow honey drawl. ‘he just has never been trained in manners.’” -10 points for tuon. this dynamic truly is just a gross version of matlayne, i’m so mad!

“he hated battle too - a man could get killed dead!” that made me laugh so hard jdkfjgh

“she purely enjoyed the game, laughing exultantly when she pulled him into a trap, laughing in delight when he managed a clever placement to escape. she seemed a different woman once she lost herself in the stones board.” cute again! +1 point for tuon

to think mat could be in caemlyn right now giving presents to elayne who would actually appreciate them 😤 he gives tuon some cloth rosebuds, roses are elayne’s thing! dammit!

characterization update: still makes 0 fucking sense that mat is trying to woo tuon and give her romantic gifts instead of running as fast as he can in the opposite direction

“he had overheard setalle cautioning selucia that he was a rogue with women” still makes 0 fucking sense that mistress anan is having Woman Solidarity with the evil tyrants who invaded her home. especially when she got on nynaeve’s and elayne’s cases for annoying mat back in acos (if i’m remembering that scene correctly which i may not be), why did she take mat’s side against them but not against women who are evil????

i’ve heard something of this before, but here we learn officially about the seanchan marriage custom that calling someone your spouse 3 times in front of witnesses is enough to make you legally married, so mat is now halfway to being legally married to tuon. i hope you guys have been making use of this trope to write accidental marriage fics for other ships for all these years, don’t let me down!

i’m annoyed bc there’s so many memes about mat’s love for lace but it turns out he only acquired that love for lace because he got stockholm syndromed into liking the clothes tylin forced him to wear that he never would have liked on his own. that being said, i’m laughing at the contrast between mat wishing his coat had more embroidery vs. perrin hating on wil al’seen for wearing too much embroidery, just like mat being glad to see a man smile vs. perrin hating when men smile. mat is queer and perrin is homophobic jfkgjh

“[egeanin] was not the one who had to marry the last person on earth she wanted to. a noblewoman, all cool reserve and her nose in the air, when he liked barmaids with ready smiles and willing eyes. the heir to a throne...a woman who spun his head like a top” “oh, burn him, on top of everything else, he was going to marry a woman who could channel?” THIS IS LITERALLY MATLAYNE BUT WORSE!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!! if i hadn’t known spoilers and somebody had given these passages to me earlier in the series as i’ve typed them here with a couple seanchan-specific things removed, i would 100000000% have thought it was talking about matlayne. DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

also, the fact that in all his listing of tuon’s bad traits, mat does not once mention the fact that she enslaves people. okay. mat/tuon is matlayne but worse in many ways but especially because his friendship with elayne was helping mat get over his hatred and fear of and prejudice towards channelers, but being with tuon is just making it worse again to the point that (from what i hear of spoilers) he’s not even going to care that the damane system is still in place at the end of the series and he’s married to the woman responsible for it. not going to care or try to do anything about it.

“‘perhaps i will have lace added to your robes if i make you a cupbearer.’ could she still make him da’covale if she married him? he would have to ask egeanin. light, why did women never make it easy?” mat i promise you that making you worry about whether or not they will ENSLAVE YOU is not a General Woman Thing

mat also may or may not have seen dead people walking around, i’m so interested to find out what this is all about!!

tuon is happy when mat puts his foot down with her (“if you’re going to buy anything, it’s going to be here. i’ve had al the exercise i care for this morning.”) perhaps because of the classic trope which matlayne could’ve done better of sheltered royal being glad when love interest treats them like a normal person instead of bowing and scraping?

“even when a woman needed help, if she did not want it, she made you pay for giving it” remember the wonderful character and relationship development of mat saving elayne from the gholam and her sincerely thanking him for it, thus, you might think, putting an end to this sort of sexist thinking mat used to have? i miss that.

“if he left her behind, then she could not say the [marriage] words, or if she did, he would be too far away for the words to matter. if he left her behind, he would never learn why she smiled those mysterious smiles, or what lay behind the mystery.” cool, so LEAVE HER THE FUCK BEHIND THEN god!!!! so many opportunities for him to get rid of her and he just chooses not to for ooc reasons! these are the kinds of thoughts mat should only be having 5 books into an enemies-to-lovers slowburn, not after a few chapters of tuon giving him (and the reader) absolutely nothing! the fact that this romance could have been so well done and compelling and interesting makes the fact that it’s instead rushed and forced and ooc so much worse.

it’s so frustrating that 2 of my 3 #1 favorite characters (mat and rand, with elayne being the one still going strong) are now stuck with arcs and/or romances i hate for them.

but it is kinda hilarious how this book has elayne and egwene doing their own hot girl shit meanwhile both perrin’s and mat’s plotlines are pretty much entirely revolving around their female love interest. feminism? lmao

a woman (renna) escapes with the intent of exposing mat & co to the seanchan, meaning they would all die and/or be enslaved. the good news is that mat has enough sense to order her to be killed when they catch up to her. the bad news is that he’s all “aaaaaaahhhhh killing a woman!!!!!” “that made three [women he’d killed whether directly or indirectly]. never again, he thought as renna floated out of sight around a bend. if i die for it, never again.” good GOD this is one of the most infuriating aspects of the entire series

tuon: “she was trying to betray you. what you did was justice, and i name it so.” +1 point for tuon. actually +5 points because i'm so annoyed about the Can’t Kill Women thing that tuon not giving a shit is a balm to my soul lmao

EGWENE WAS BETRAYED AND CAPTURED BY THE TOWER AES SEDAI AAAAAAAAAHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!

okay moving back to the start of that chapter. i said before that i changed my mesaana guess from theodrin to tarna, but now i’m going back to theodrin - part of why i changed my guess is that we hadn’t seen theodrin in a long time (the other reasons being that alviarin thought mesaana was a sister inside the tower and theodrin isn’t, and that alviarin said mesaana’s disguise had blue eyes and the next chapter tarna was stated to have blue eyes), but she cropped up again in this chapter just before things went bad for egwene. coincidence? i think not! plus, mesaana is a nerd so if she was in disguise as an aes sedai she would totally be brown like theodrin rather than red like tarna. “that fool girl [theodrin] has less brains than a fisher-bird! you’d think she wants someone to find out she’s keeping an eye on romanda for you.” maybe she DOES 👀👀

this is exactly what i mean when i say i want rj to hold back information about secret identities, traitors, darkfriends, etc. more often. i’m having so much fun with this mystery! nobody better spoil me!

“larine [ayellin, a new novice] was almost the same age as [egwene], and a close friend growing up. they had spent hours together, gossiping and practicing putting their hair in braids for when the women’s circle said they were old enough.” i think this is the first time we’ve heard about a specific childhood friend of egwene’s, seeing as she doesn’t seem to have been actual friends with rand, mat, and perrin like she was in the show.

another piece of evidence for our “what causes agelessness” debate: egwene talks about how the kin live longer and “show age like anyone else, if more slowly.” romanda replies “if they channel, they would achieve the look. if they age, they cannot be channeling very often if at all. and neither way could they live five or six hundred years!” and egwene says “there is only one real difference betwen aes sedai and the kin. they left the white tower before they could swear on the oath rod.” which i’m guessing is as good a confirmation as we’ll get that it is indeed the oath rod that causes the aes sedai ageless look.

a random aes sedai is said not to be “interested in men that way” another explicit confirmation of queer people existing in wotworld! and a full sister who is still a lesbian and wasn’t just experimenting as a novice, and isn’t in the man-hating red ajah (she’s blue)

okay so egwene argues with some aes sedai (mainly romanda) about whether or not aes sedai should unswear the oaths and retire, and with others (lelaine and maigan) about whether or not to more or less use compulsion on the asha’man to leash them to the tower (egwene says HELL NO and is horrified and disgusted by the thought, but lelaine and maigan think they should). this + theodrin possibly being mesaana, there are lots of potential suspects for who would’ve wanted egwene captured by elaida’s contingent. a good mystery!!!

“bode’s future would be brilliant. her potential almost equaled egwene’s.” love that for her!! and meanwhile her brother has a future of being complicit in the enslavement of women like her :) i wonder if bode and mat will ever see each other again by the end of the series.

egwene-bela reunion!!! 😭😭 “you carried me away from the two rivers. can you run as fast now?” 😭😭😭😭😭

bode was with egwene when egwene got captured, did bode get captured too???? (rhetorical question) i hope not, but i also hope so because i would love to see more of her and see her become a bigger character.

bashere says the seanchan want rand to meet the daughter of the nine moons, and good thing i know this is a trap and won’t actually be tuon because otherwise it would be SO MEAN to tease me with this possibility of a cauthor reunion in the next book. i wish!!!!

and the conclusion is an emo as fuck poem that rand may or may not have written jkfgh i’m yelling!! love that for him! can’t believe he found time to write a poem.

thus i have made it through what i believe is widely considered the worst book of the series lmao it wasn’t as bad as i’d expected. i definitely think that reading the books all at once rather than as they’re coming out, with years between books, helps the pacing feel not as bad. the faile kidnapping plotline, for example, while my least favorite of the current plotlines, doesn’t feel as dragged out and meandering as everyone said - it’s really only like 5 chapters per book, which is not that much wasted screentime. but overall, definitely not much happened in this book. like 2/3 of it was devoted to showing people reacting to a channeling event that happened in the last book, which is just ridiculous fjgkh it’s going to be hilarious when the show does all that in 1 episode or less

thoughts on the plotlines: elayne’s is by far my fav of the current plotlines, my eyes glaze over a bit with all the minor aes sedai and quibbles between them in egwene’s but i’m enjoying hers overall (and am very excited to continue it because of that cliffhanger), perrin’s pov has always been boring to me and is not significantly more boring nowadays, rand’s and mat’s have sharply declined in enjoyment because i hate their girlfriends and mat’s character direction. but i know matlayne and cauthor reunions are coming eventually, so there is light at the end of the tunnel!

#the fact that i could do this entire book in only 2 recap posts shows how little is going on in it lmao #granted this one is quite a long post #wot #wot book spoilers

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

Exoplanet may reveal secrets about the edge of habitability How close can a rocky planet be to a star, and still sustain water and life? A recently discovered exoplanet may be key to solving that mystery. “Super-Earth” LP 890-9c (also named SPECULOOS-2c) is providing important insights about conditions at the inner edge of a star’s habitable zone and why Earth and Venus developed so differently, according to new research led by Lisa Kaltenegger, associate professor of astronomy at Cornell University. Her team found LP 890-9c, which orbits close to the inner edge of its solar system’s habitable zone, would look vastly different depending on whether it still had warm oceans, a steam atmosphere, or if it had lost its water – assuming it once had oceans like Earth’s. “Looking at this planet will tell us what’s happening on this inner edge of the habitable zone – how long a rocky planet can maintain habitability when it starts to get hot,” Kaltenegger said. “It will teach us something fundamental about how rocky planets evolve with increasing starlight, and about what will one day happen to us and Earth.” Kaltenegger is the lead author of “Hot Earth or Young Venus? A Nearby Transiting Rocky Planet Mystery,” published in Monthly Notices of the Royal Astronomical Society: Letters. LP 890-9c is one of two super-Earths orbiting a red dwarf star located 100 light years from Earth, researchers announced last year. They said liquid water or an atmosphere rich in water vapor was possible on LP 890-9c, which is about 40% larger than Earth and circles the small, cool star in 8.5 days. Those criteria suggested it to be one of the best targets for JWST to study among the known, potentially habitable terrestrial planets, in addition to the TRAPPIST-1 system. The team’s models are the first to detail differences in the chemical signatures generated by rocky planets near the habitable zone’s interior boundary, based on variables including the planet’s size, mass, chemical makeup, surface temperature and pressure, atmospheric height and cloud cover. The calculations were key to estimating how much time JWST would need to confirm the basic composition of an atmosphere – if there is one. The models span several scenarios thought to reflect stages of rocky planets’ evolution, ranging from a “hot Earth” where life might still be possible, to a desolate Venus featuring a carbon dioxide atmosphere. In between are phases Earth is expected to experience as the sun grows brighter and hotter with age, causing the oceans to gradually evaporate and fill the atmosphere with steam before boiling off entirely. How long those processes might take is unknown, and the astronomers say LP 890-9c provides a rare opportunity to explore that evolution. “This planet is the first target where we can test these different scenarios,” Kaltenegger said. “If it’s still a hotter Earth – hot, but with liquid water and conditions for life – then the timeline is slower than we thought. If we see that it’s already a full-blown Venus, then the water gets lost fast.” It’s possible that LP 890-9c has no atmosphere and hosts no life, or that it resembles a Venus with thick clouds that would block light from reflecting and thus yield little information. Deeper investigation promises to provide valuable clues, Kaltenegger said. “We don’t know what this planet on the edge of habitability could be like, so we have to look,” she said. “This is what real exploration is about.”

#space #science #Astronomy #physics #news #exoplanets

[grimeysociety]

Um, ok, what if Darcy was a volunteer at an animal rescue, and one day someone (pairing of your choice, Steve, Bucky, or Wanda) comes in looking for a furry companion because their therapist recommended adopting a pet. My pick would be Steve, because I feel like there is a deep well of loneliness in him. Either part of the MCU or AU, dealer's choice.

(ugh, I hope things idea doesn't suck)

Ah, this is such a sweet idea and I love it so much! Thank you bb. 🥰

(T, 1,707 words, un-beta’d)

Most likely, he’d walk into this place and walk out alone. He didn’t know what he was looking for, and he had little hope a dog would actually like him since he’d never owned one before.

Steve sighed, glancing at the front door to the shelter. He came in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday to avoid seeing too many people. He felt kind of embarrassed about this whole thing because he didn’t know what he was doing. His therapist had mentioned a companion more than once, and because he was against dating anyone right now, they’d agreed that a pet would be a better choice.

Most likely, he’d walk into this place and walk out alone. He didn’t know what he was looking for, and he had little hope a dog would actually like him since he’d never owned one before. He could hear distant barking from his car when he parked it, and now that he was closer to the building he could smell the earthy animal scents from beyond.

He readied himself for overstimulation, moving to open the door gingerly when it suddenly slammed open and he jumped back, a middle-aged woman emerging, led by a giant husky that barked constantly.

“Shut up, you goof,” the woman grumbled, but she was smiling.

Her iron hair matched the dog’s, something that made Steve stare after them, a smile threatening to form on his face. The door was left ajar and he heard a female voice call out from within:

“Next?”

He walked inside, rubbing the back of his head as he went to the front desk where a young brunette stood in her navy polo shirt and dirty matching pants. Her clothes were covered in different types of fur and her arms had little nicks along them in varying stages of healing. Her shirt pocket had a name across it in italics – Darcy.

“Hi, I, uh… I was thinking about adopting a pet.”

“That’s great!” she said, and she seemed to mean it, smiling up at him.

She had a gap in her front teeth and Steve nodded at her, a little distracted. He felt obligated to talk more, to give her context. Usually with strangers he wanted to fly under the radar but this was somehow different.

He wasn’t an idiot – she was cute, but it was hardly the place or time to try to impress her when he was meant to be deciding on a pet.

“What were you thinking?”

“Pardon?” he said, and she chuckled.

“Do you want a cat?”

He respected cats, but he knew he’d only disappoint a cat. A dog seemed like a safer option; they were man’s best friend after all. He shook his head.

“Uh, better not.”

“Okay,” she said, chuckling again. “I’m free now, so I can show you the kennels.”

She detached keys from the carabiner on her pants, which made Steve stare at her hips for a beat before he looked away. She gestured to an exit and he followed her out, the barks growing louder as they slipped through another backdoor Darcy propped open for him.

There was a long line of dogs, with another worker walking one in the middle of the courtyard at the center of the kennels. She gave Darcy a little wave, the dog she was walking deep in thought, sniffing the teeny patch of grass. It was some type of border collie, with one blue eye and one yellow eye. It tilted its head at Steve as they passed.

“He’s getting picked up in a little while,” Darcy explained. “I knew he’d be adopted fast.”

“Good for him,” Steve said. “What’s his name?”

“Bandit.”

Steve nodded, watching Bandit go back to sniffing and circling. Darcy gestured to the line of dogs and he followed her. He felt inexplicably nervous.

“I’ll let you check them out,” she said, and Steve nodded once more. “I should take over for Lizzie.”

She swapped with the other worker and began walking Bandit, cooing at him and petting him as Steve delayed the inevitable. He drew in a breath, unsure of how he was meant to decide on anything.

Some of the dogs were hiding at the back of their little fenced off spaces. A couple barked at him, snapping their jaws. Others whined and paced. It was overwhelming, Steve’s nervousness turning to a kind of guilt. It felt wrong that they didn’t have a home, but he couldn’t take them all. Maybe this was a terrible idea.

He stopped at the end, seeing a dog come up to the fence, its tail wagging. It was a mix of orange-golden and white fur with a long snout and big brown eyes. Steve didn’t know why, but he crouched by it, placing his hand against the fence for it to sniff his skin.

“Hey, little fella,” he murmured.

The dog reacted immediately, its front paws hitting the cement floor with alternating stamps. It ducked down and sniffed, its tongue darting out to lick what it could reach.

“You wanna come home with me?” Steve asked.

The dog seemed to understand the significance of this, bounding back and barking. Steve gripped the fencing, glancing over at Darcy. She was already watching him, Bandit sniffing her sneaker.

“What kinda breed is this one?”

“Boxer-cross,” Darcy said.

She wandered over, Bandit trotting. She stopped beside him, sorting through the keys. Bandit started to bark and bounce. She unlocked the little doorway and Steve stepped inside, the boxer-cross jumping on top of him instantly. He was licked all over his face, his laughs spilling forth as Darcy chuckled.

“That’s Buddy, he was surrendered last week,” she explained.

He kept wanting to lick at Steve, his paws on his thighs, tail wagging faster. His fur was soft and silky, which led Steve to believe he was health.

“How come?”

“His owner died,” Darcy murmured, and Steve looked at Buddy again, giving him some harder rubs.

“Poor guy.”

“Yeah, his owner’s daughter had to bring him here, her landlord wouldn’t let her keep a dog in her apartment,” Darcy said, sounding frustrated. “Which is ridiculous. He’s like, the nicest dog I’ve ever met, and I’ve met a lot of ’em.”

“I believe you,” Steve said, Buddy’s tongue swiping at his cheek.

Man and dog stared at one another and Steve felt something unfurling in his chest.

“Could I…? I mean, can I keep him?”

“Yes!” Darcy said, and Steve found himself pulling Buddy into his arms.

Steve loved Buddy. He knew that the second he held him to his chest. The dog wriggled, too excited to contain himself, licking him as Darcy took them back to the main reception. Steve had to put a leash on him and keep him next to him as he filled out paperwork.

Darcy leaned against the table, watching him do this, and Steve began to feel self-conscious.

“You changed when you saw him,” she said, and he looked at her, pen hovering.

“Yeah, that’s probably true,” Steve admitted. He shook his head a little. “I wasn’t too sure about coming here, but I’ve been told I needed someone else…”

He trailed off, unsure of whether to divulge too much. He could come across a little nuts if he wasn’t careful.

“My therapist, uh,” he muttered, eyes ducking back to the paperwork. He initialled the bottom of the page and flipped it over. “She thought it was a good idea to get a pet. So I was less lonely.”

He dreaded looking back at her but he made himself, seeing Darcy nod at him, empathetic.

“I’m glad you gave it a shot,” she said. “I think we all should have a pet to keep us company.”

There was a short silence, Darcy’s eyes studying him, her head tilting.

“Why weren’t you sure?”

“I’ve never had a dog before,” Steve said, and she nodded. “Uh, does that exempt me?”

He’d already signed everything. He just had to pay the adoption fee. Darcy shook her head, smirking.

“Absolutely the fuck not.”

He let out a short laugh, relieved. “Great. Except now you know I don’t know what I’m doin’.”

She began to laugh, and Steve’s stomach flipped. She reached for something beside the computer monitor in front of her and took out a business card.

“My cell number’s on there,” she said. “Call me if you’ve got questions.”

Steve took it, eyes lingering on hers. Darcy was the one to look away that time, eyes falling to Buddy.

“You’ll be very happy together.”

Steve nodded, sure of this. He already felt a flurry of affection every time Buddy’s tail hit his leg as it wagged. He looked at Darcy again.

“Thanks.”

“It’s my job,” Darcy said.

Once he paid and took his receipt, Steve turned to walk out the door. Darcy waved them goodbye and they set out into the parking lot, the sun beaming down on Buddy’s fur.

The dog looked up at him when they got to Steve’s car.

“You gotta sit in the front seat,” Steve said. “I don’t have a cage for ya.”

Maybe Buddy was hesitating because he wasn’t sure. He could sense the trajectory of his life – or maybe Steve was romanticising this a little. He just really cared about this little guy, and he’d only known him half an hour.

Buddy gave a bark, and Steve frowned.

“You okay?”

Buddy’s head turned toward the shelter’s front door. Steve thought about Darcy, and how she’d made him stare and fumble his words. He swallowed.

“Alright, I got it.”

He’d already taken a risk today and it paid off. Another wouldn’t hurt. He could picture his therapist punching the air when he told her how his week had been and he shook his head a little.

He opened the door again, Buddy tugging him inside. Darcy glanced up from her monitor, a pair of spectacles on this time, which she pushed up her nose.

“Oh. Did you forget something?”

“Your number,” Steve said, putting a hand on the desk between them. “Can I use it for non-dog-related reasons, too?”

It took a second for his words to register, and then Darcy’s cheeks flushed, her lips parting. She bit her plush lower lip as she grinned.

“Yeah, sure. Anytime.”

“I meant for dinner and movie sometime –”

“Yeah, I figured,” Darcy said, and she put out a hand for him to shake.

“Steve.”

“Nice to meet you.”

#darcy lewis #darcy lewis x steve rogers #shieldshock #prompts #freyaswolf

[isa-sketches]

Varga reference/Guide sheet(2022) Finally, after 3 years or so I finally made a guide for Varga haha. I included 4 stages of her life, of which I want to make stories. From early childhood to adulthood. I also have a 5th stage of her old age, but im not quiiite there yet.  Varga is a Nordic orc, heavily influenced by Nordic iron age history. Orcs are born without their tusks, and they keep growing until the age of 25. Small orclings are not given very nice clothes as they grow out of them fast and child mortality is high(such is the time). However if you do survive the dangerous first year a big celebration is held where you are given an official name and welcomed into the tribe. In orc society, genders dont matter and its skill based what you end up doing, if you are good at sowing you probably will work with sowing, and if you are strong and good with an axe you are probably going to go into training to be a warrior.  they dress in a way that signalizes who they are and identify with. There are no official uniform for any gender and since everyone makes their own clothing. As small children they are trained in survival skills, and most know how to fish and set traps by the age of 9. As a soon to be teenager Varga is usually dressed in a natural linen dress with and blue dual strap overdress made out of wool. Her shoes are made out of leather all through the years. As a child she is expected to follow along and observe the adults at work. During the day they help out around the farms and housework and the evenings are for socialization and story telling around the fire.  A coming of age ritual is done in their teens/late teens before they can be classified as an adult. A young orc can choose when they feel ready to for the challenge between the ages of 18-21. Many spend years training for this task.   As the tradition goes the young orc is sent out into the wilderness to scratch a rune with their knife in to a cave wall along the runes of their ancestors. After a mark has been made they have to hunt down and animal that corresponds with their animal twin soul. Vargas family is said to have the spirit of the wolf. Some have the spirit of the bear, boar, Lynx, Moose etc. This inner animal spirit is brought out to help them in after a short ritual before a battle. This is simply a mental state they enter. After an animal of their clan has been killed, a hide is to be brought back and to made into a piece of clothing such as a belt of cape. Varga kills a wolf and carries the fur on her shoulders as a cape. They also sew in small pieces of the fur into their everyday clothing. A meal is to be prepared of the animal and eaten. The road to the cave is long and dangerous. The nature in the north is cold and hostile, with jagged mountains and deep valleys. The forests are dense and dark, and many host many predators. They spend all this time alone and for many the silence of the deep forests can be enough scare them.  Its usual for a young to use a month to complete the challenge. When they return they are greeted with a big celebration where they are given carefully crafted beads and amber on a chain that attaches to the brooches on the chest. After this ceremony they officially step into the ranks of the adults. As children they get one chain of beads after the first year and as teens they have two and as adults they have usually minimum of 3 rows of beads. (some have more to be fancy) Varga sets out on her journey at the age of 19 and returns to the village after a month and 3 days with new scars across her face. The scars are a symbol of victory and survival and most of the orcs carry scars from their life.  None has yet not completed the challenge and the longest it has been recorded taking is about 2 months.  As she grows up she chooses to go into training for battle. Orc society can be tough and weakness is not something looked nicely upon. She grows hard over the years and she ends up on a journey to revenge a fallen friend. Friendship, family and oats are highly valued and if a friend is killed unfairly (outside of a battle or by a cowards way)  Its almost mandatory to go after the killer to get justice. Oats are sacred and should not be broken if sealed.  ----- I still haven't decided if I want her to find a partner and settle more in the future, but we will see lol. Marriage is an important step in many orcs life and most dont marry until the age of 25. They have a lot of things that needs to be learned and mastered before they can settle.  My orcs also celebrate a couple different holidays and traditions but I dont think i can write it all out in just one post. There are so many things I want to talk about ! Thank you for reading my wall of text

#orcs #sheorc #oc #original character #original character art #art #artwork #ref sheet #character ref sheet #reference sheet #artist #drawing #fantasyart