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#she's the start of my passions the reason i write the core of nearly EVERYTHING I've created
dailydaydreamings · 3 years
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Best in the Worst Way, Part 9
For some reason I absolutely struggled to write this one. I have no idea why. I had such a good idea but nothing. I really wanted this one to have a sex scene too, I wrote it and it didn’t freaking save. So I’ve got nothing on that. It just means a better sex scene is to come ;)
Please enjoy, this gets pretty close to sex (mostly foreplay) and there’s some swearing and mentions of trauma. Oh, and chapter ten will be up tonight too.
The Reader has been having a love affair with two Avengers and gets caught in a sticky situation. She’s suddenly faced with life decisions she’s not prepared for, including who to love, what she wants, and is this all worth it?
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The boys had been gone for almost three weeks. Everyday was a lesson in patrience, and you were failing, miserably. You’d probably be doing a much better job if you’d heard from either of them, but complete radio silence was all you got.
Natasha hung out in your office a lot, trying to keep you distracted. You regularly had dinner with Tony, Pepper, and Morgan three times so far. Everyone else seemed to be flocking to your office more frequently too.
Everyone knew who the babies fathers could be, of course. No one mentioned it, but how could they not when Steve and Bucky’s feud was common knowledge now. Mostly, though, you thought everyone just believed you had been sleeping around, not with both of them.
“Who’s having a baby?!” Carols voice carried through the building. You look up to see her standing, observing the betting pool outside your office. Apparently not everyone knew yet.
You laugh, standing up and smoothing you flowy dress over your bump. Her face was priceless as she came into plain view.
“No way!” She grinned.
“Surprise!” Nat said, standing from the seat in front of you, where she’d been planning your baby shower. Carol gave her a brief hug before coming around to give you one.
“I’m so shocked,” she said, holding you at arm’s length to look at you. “I mean, who’s the father?”
“Ooooh, that’s the question, it’s either Bucky and/or Steve,” Natasha chimed in, reaching for a cookie from your desk.
You cringed slightly.
Carol just blinked in surprise, “What do you mean or?”
You chuckled, “Well, you know, there’s two babies and —”
“Like this,” Natasha held up one hand with her index and thumb making an O and shoved two fingers from the other hand in repeatedly.
“I never told you that,” you pointed at her.
Carol just laughed, going to sit beside Natasha. “Are you being serious though? Like, both of them?”
You nodded, “I was sleeping with both of them.”
Natasha raised an eyebrow, “At the exact same time?”
You pursed your lips, but you oils to help the cheeky smile creeping up on your lips. “Yes.”
Natasha threw her head back and laughed, “Okay but did you, you know, both of them...?” And she made the same crude gesture she made earlier.
“Oh my God Natasha! That’s so rude!” Carol exclaimed. But then she turned to you, propping her chin on her first and said, “You need to tell us now.”
“Do you really need to know?” You ask.
Carol and Natasha look at each other, and then looking back at you, said in unison, “Yes.”
You clicked your pen twice, “Not at first.”
They both cheered and your face flushed. You never imagined saying that out loud. God, seventeen weeks ago you’d never have thought of this moment.
Seventeen weeks ago
Sitting in Steve’s room, you picked up your phone to look for an automatic text from FRIDAY to tell you where the boys were. They were projected to be back from their mission any minute now.
And you were laying on the bed, naked, waiting for them and drinking a glass of wine (which was going straight to your head). You’d debated how to pose on the bed endlessly, opting to stretch across the white sheets on your side, fully facing the door. If anyone was in the hallway when they walked in, they would have a full view.
God, the waiting was making you fucking horny. The month and a half mission wasn’t helping anything. You new the boys would be ravenous when they walked in. Which only turned you on more.
The nights had been so long without them. It had been a while since you’d slept alone, definitely the longest without sex in almost a year. Whatever would ensue tonight would be worth the wait.
FRIDAY’s text told you they’d landed five minutes ago. You had dozens of messages from Stark, and they could wait until morning. You really didn’t give a fuck when your boys were about to walk in. Putting your phone back on the nightstand, you heard key pad beep as someone punched in the code.
Flicking your hair over your shoulder, you shamelessly displayed your entire body as the door opened. Steve’s face appeared, his eyes met yours and he swore.
He actually said, fuck! Before quickly closing the door, with him on the outside.
You frowned, concerned you’d done something wrong until you heard Steve say from the other side, “Sam, maybe now isn’t the time for a drink.”
You covered your mouth with your hand to keep your laughter in. Should you hide? It wouldn’t be the first time you’d almost been caught.
“Come on,” Sam’s voice could be heard clear as day from the other side of the door. You were so close from being caught and you were far too busy dying of laughter. “You just got back, we need to celebrate.”
“Look,” Steve said. “I’m really tired. Tomorrow, I promise.”
“I’m not taking no for an answer.” Ok, now you were debating hiding.
“Sam,” you could barely hear Bucky’s quiet voice, “it was a really tough mission, I really need to talk to Steve.”
“Oh!” Sam said, “yeah, of course, text me if you need anything.” No one fucked around when it came to Bucky’s mental health. You debated if you’d gone a little too far with your surprise, not knowing how the mission had gone until the door opened again.
Steve slipped in, trying the keep the door as shut as possible. Not suspicious at all. Then Bucky walked in, he took one look at you and whistled. Long and low as he shamelessly looked at you.
“Fuck Steve,” Bucky said, “how did we go a month without this one?”
You giggled slightly, especially as Steve sat down on the bed beside you and said, “I know. Sexy mink.”
You sat up until you were eye to eye with Steve and said in a husky voice, “Welcome back.”
He was in you a second later, his mouth fighting yours as he pushed you down onto the bed. There was no time for romance, he pined your arms over your head with one hand as he kissed your neck.
You threw your head back and moaned, your core tightening and toes curling.
He licked the inside of your ear and you nearly came right there just from that. Holy fuck, you weren’t sure if you said that aloud.
He was kissing you with so much passion you lost track of his other hand until you felt it...oh god, you felt it push apart your folds and find that spot.
Your entire body convulsed at the feeling. Fuck, you needed him inside you now.
“What a good girl,” you felt the bed shift as Bucky sat down beside your head. He was naked, a glass of wine in one hand, the other hand stroking his shaft as he watched Steve make you moan.
“Buck,” you started, but then Steve’s mouth moved down to your tits and sucked in a nipple. Your hands clenched to hold onto something but there was nothing.
Bucky put down the glass, laying across the bed behind your head, propped up on an elbow as he continued to stroke himself, “Does Steve make you feel good, baby?”
You would have answered but Steve shoved a finger inside you, his thumb doing circles over your clit. You settle for nodding vigorously as you humped his hand. Desperately.
Bucky leaned down until his mouth was level with your ear, and licked that spot behind it that made you squirm and your core tighten. “Use your words baby, or I’ll get Steve to stop and you’ll have to watch him blow me.”
That had happened once. Bucky had even tied your hands behind your back so you could only watch as Steve swallowed him whole, your core tightening painfully.
You struggled to keep your eyes open as Steve added another finger and you said, “He makes me feel so good.”
Bucky smiled, that sexy boyish smirk of his as he leaned down and kissed you, so slowly and gently, compared to the ruffness of Steve teeth on your chest.
Bucky kept eye contact with you as he said, “Steve, does she taste as good as she looks?”
Steve pulled his fingers from inside of you and you gasped in protest. You were so fucking close!
He put his index finger in his mouth and nodded, “You wanna taste?”
Bucky reached for Steve’s hand, dragging his eyes from you to look at Steve as he took his middle finger in his mouth. The three of you moaned, at the pure sexiness of Bucky, and also him tasting you apparently.
Bucky pulled away and looked down at you, captive on the bed below him, “You have two options, baby, Steve and I came up with them on mission while we were fantasizing about this moment. First, we can keep going like this. We’ve missed your taste and we want to make this about you and make you feel good. Or,” he leaned down and whispered in your ear, “you can take care of us.”
You really didn’t need to think, you sat up and said to him, “Get the lube.”
Bucky chuckled and did as he was told, and Steve rolled off you to lay down beside you. He stroked up and down your body slowly, from your clit, between your breasts, and down again. You squirmed, desperate now.
“I’ve really missed you guys,” you murmured, rolling over so you were facing Steve.
He smirked, a finger trailing over your slit, “I can tell, baby.”
You shivered, but still managed, “I’m serious. Did everything go okay over there?”
Steve propped his head up to look past you, where Bucky was definitely cursing in the bathroom about where the freaking lube was. Steve lowered his voice, “Buck had a really hard time. I don’t know how many more missions he’s got left.”
That was definitely a sobering thought. You propped yourself on your elbow to get a better look at him.
Steve was scared. Actually, terrified would be a better word for it. Your blood ran cold.
“What. Happened?” You demand.
Steve’s eyes darted behind you, and he murmured, “Later.”
Because Bucky walked in the room, rubbing lube on himself, saying, “You ready for us baby?”
You wanted nothing more than to sit the boys down and get to the bottom of what happened on this mission. In fact, the very next day you would. Because after multiple rounds of earth shattering sex, Steve would shake you awake while Bucky was in the shower and tell you that Bucky couldn’t focus on the mission. He missed some key piece of information and almost died. Stave almost died with him. If it hadn’t been for Sam, neither of them would have come home.
Bucky would break down and admit that he hadn’t slept more than two hours a night in weeks. He got away with it at the compound because he could nap, but missions were a different story. He couldn’t fake it on a mission.
He would tell you and Steve his nightmares were so, so much worse. And every time he walked around a blind corner his whole body went on red alert and a couple of times he’d pinned an intern into the wall thinking it was an enemy sneaking up on him. His mind was in constant overload and he was having trouble keeping story and reality separate. He was essentially, unraveling.
So, a new therapy protocol was initiated. Missions were postponed. Everything seemed to being going great.
Then, you found out you were pregnant and Steve left. Bucky still went to therapy twice a week, but his routine was totally disrupted. And it was bad on you for forgetting to ask him about his exercises and if everything was okay.
Because suddenly he was whisked away on a mission and it had been almost three weeks and you hadn’t heard anything. He and Steve still weren’t on good terms.
You were so, so terrified any day now you would hear that they’d died.
Tags
@booktease21 @sexyvixen7 @just-the-hiddles @fading-mentality-bouquet @a--1--1--3 @broco8 @yougottalovefandoms @hailqueenconquer @tazzi-baby @imaginebeinlovedbyme @amiets2 @prettyblueskylark
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strwberrytae · 3 years
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So Long, Farewell, and Goodbye For Now -
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“I don’t know how you are so familiar to me—or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before—in another time, a different place, some other existence.”     - Lang Leav
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Hello, You ♡ Yes, You. You ethereal, beautiful being. I am writing to you with bittersweet yet wonderful news - depending on the perspective. I am writing this post to inform all of you that I will no longer be writing for this blog for the foreseeable future. What I mean by that is that I am not giving up writing forever, no. But my life has changed so much over the last two years, I do not see myself writing again for quite some time. But don’t worry! I will be back!
Below the Read More section, I have poured my heart and soul into the real reasons why I’ve made this decision. I warn you, it’s lengthy but it’s everything that has led up to this over the years. So, if you fancy, have a read. If not, I bid you farewell and wish you all the happiness in the world. Thank you for supporting me so far. I truly appreciate it and love you all very dearly. Now, if you wish to read it at a later time, I will have a link available on my page at all times for anyone who is curious. It’s a hell of a story if you ask me ~
Edit: Made by Me - also, a surprise photo at the end Warnings/Triggers: Talks of emotional abuse, depression, and suicide but also happiness and love -
When I first started this blog, it was 2016. I had been on Tumblr for over a decade now but BTS led me to writing passionately for 2 years. I was incredibly active and utterly consumed by this website. Not just for the writing, but I was so obsessed because of my friends and mutuals that I made along the way. Can I just say that I’ve met some incredible people on this platform - including my best friend and soulmate? Truthfully, the absolute best friend I have ever had. But more importantly, Tumblr was my greatest escape. I mean this website truly has been my saving grace through very dark times.
In that part of my life, I was in an extremely toxic relationship; by then, it was 6 years I was with him. He was emotionally abusive, had such a short-fuse temper, hated everyone I knew which led me never really seeing any of my friends after college, knew I was anorexic and did nothing to stop me, knew I had depression since we started dating and always argued it as if it wasn’t real, crushed my dreams and ambitions, mocked potential suicide attempts, expected me to just abandon all hope to ever leave home to explore someplace new or get a job that I actually love. He was...just the worst. Never hit me though, so I’m grateful for that. But sometimes I wish he would so it would have given me the voice I needed to get out of that relationship much sooner than I did. But regardless, because of him plus having a soul-sucking job that wore me down to the core, Tumblr was my escape. BTS was my escape.
I fell hard and I fell deep. I created a fantasy world within this world. All of my dreams, fantasies, desires, and hopes were poured into my writing. My imagination was running wild. My activity was through the roof because I was always on here day in and out, just pretending like the outside world didn’t exist. It consumed me...but I needed it. Looking back, it was pretty excessive. At the time, I seemed perfectly normal because everyone else was just as active and saying the same things and doing the same things. I felt a belonging, like I fit in.
But I hated the person I became. It took me getting yelled at, mocked, ridiculed, and belittled by my ex to snap me out of that illusion I built and back into reality. That was the roughest night that we had filled with lots of screaming on his end and crying on my part. He thought my obsession was sick. He thought it was disgusting. It all started because he found fake texts I had made with Jimin and Tae. Don’t recall the story it was a part of but he thought they were texts with the actual members… In my eyes, I should get credit for making them look so legit but he didn’t see it that way. He thought fangirling over men was essentially cheating. No matter how hard I tried to explain, he didn’t understand. But a part of his view was right. I learned that I was a bit too much into it and I really needed to take a step back from Tumblr for a while. So I did. I deactivated my account and disappeared for months. Also because he made me and threatened our relationship if I didn’t. Should have taken the out but ah well.
Just two months prior to this incident, I attempted suicide. Well, contemplated. Everything was planned out. Bought a hotel room for Thanksgiving night as I was working a super late shift until about 1-2am. My commute home was an hour long and I still had to come back to work at 7am. So I got a room. Brought a large amount of pills with me and I was going to call it. No notes written to friends, family, or loved ones. Nothing. I was done. Didn’t think anyone would miss me. I just figured the world would keep turning without me. I had thought about doing this several times before but this was my first time making plans for it. It was my lowest of the low. But then I met someone that night that changed my life entirely just in a 10 minute interaction of talking - nothing special. We’ll get to that later. But this person just gave me hope and to this day, I still can’t explain it. It was euphoric. I felt clarity. It was in that night that I thought I might hold out just a little bit longer.
And thus @strwberrytae was born - but it was far from the same. At first, I restarted the blog in secret. Why would I do this? Why would a 25 year old open a blog in secret? Well, two months after the awful fight, my ex proposed to me and I said yes. I know. Believe me, I know. I was scared. My depression was getting worse again. I no longer had an escape except for books. All I did was read so I had some sort of reality to be in besides my own. But returning to a brand new blog did not give the same satisfaction as returning to an old blog.
I worked so hard on my first blog and this redo, I tried to consider it as a gift. Perhaps this was a chance to start anew and rebrand myself. This optimism kept up for quite some time. Slowly, I added my favorite past works then added some new chapters. If you’ve been here with me since 2017, you would know that my appearance on Tumblr was still not the same. Then I got married in October.
An empty, loveless marriage that I regret to this day. Needless to say, my writing and activity on Tumblr was still practically non-existent as I was still too scared of getting caught. Even though he finally gave me permission to use it again because he could tell how miserable it was making me. Yes, gave me permission. Thankfully, it all ended after a year. I finally went to a therapist even though I hated them so much and all past therapists I had. She was pretty great. Within five sessions, I summoned the courage to break up with this guy. I was finally set free. Nearly 9 years together and I finally felt like I could breathe.
Unfortunately, although I was free, I had to live with the guy for about 5 months after the breakup. Which was beyond rough, believe me. Imagine someone writhing in pain and bawling their eyes out and venting non-stop about all of their faults and wrongdoings every single day. At the end of the day, as shitty as he was to me, he was my best friend too. We went through a lot of shit together and he did have some good sides to him too. So witnessing this was horrendous. Needless to say, I wasn’t getting much privacy either. Writing was not my top priority. Now it’s 2019 and things changed drastically for the better - and worst.
Remember the person I met in 2016 on Thanksgiving night? Well, that person is someone I crushed on every since that night. For 2 years. People, I’m telling you. He did absolutely nothing special that night. He didn’t flirt with me. He didn’t check me out. He didn’t do anything remotely to make a girl swoon but I was so drawn to him. The only word that could describe it was “cosmic” - beautifully cosmic. 
Well in January 2019, 2 months following my break up, he came into my store one day. And my god did he look incredible. He was dressed head to toe in black - a fitted black suit at that. He even wore this long, designer jacket to match. Hair shaved on the sides with beautiful, thick dark hair on top. So tall - 182cm. A smile that could kill; quite literally. The canines are on point. He looked like a five course meal. That day, he definitely flirted with me. By the end of the week, we had our first date. Sadly, I also lost my job in the same week and was unemployed for a year because no one would hire me. I was laid off and one of my seniors took my job. Of course, they needed to keep me around for the holidays and then give me the boot. I was devastated. I hated that job so much as it only aided in fueling my depression but losing it was definitely an amazing thing. And! I survived on my savings and definitely didn’t spend my time writing. I had life to sort out last year - like from the ground up. No worries though. I got a job in February 2020 and I love it, so it’s all good, baby. Now I’m in the health field and feel like I’m actually helping people, which I love.
Now, here we are 2 years later and I’m engaged to the man.  Someone who makes me smile everyday, believes in me, encourages me, let’s me be 100% myself, travels with me, taught me how to love myself, taught me to accept my body, gets me on a level that only my best friend could, and someone who goes above and beyond every single day to show me how much he loves me. Bonus, he welcomes my love for BTS with open arms, reads my writing, AND has even been sucked in himself to the fandom. Jungkook and Jimin, look out. You got another fanboy. I thought true love was impossible for me but I was very, very wrong.
He has shown me that I can be happy and I have finally experienced true happiness. When people ask how I’m doing, I don’t cringe and lie through my teeth. I smile and say that I am doing well because by George, I am. Everyone around me has seen me over the last two years and made the comment, “you look so much happier”. They meet him and swoon just as much as I do. Is he perfect? No, he’s not. He has flaws just like everyone else but he actually grows and learns from his mistakes to better himself. That’s what amazes me the most. Even if we argue, which is seldom, he refuses to let it go without resolution so we can always fix whatever the issue is. As we like to call it, we’re in-sync. In everything, we’re always so in-sync. I’m wildly in love, my dudes.
So, why am I not writing anymore? To put it simply, I’m happy and don’t really feel the desire to write anymore - at least not fanfiction. Even when I was super young, like elementary school, I used writing as an outlet for my dark escape. I wrote poetry primarily and by middle school, it turned to fanfiction for Supernatural, Simple Plan, and Panic! At The Disco. Along with a very long list of other bands and shows but anyways. I’ve been severely depressed since I was 15 and fanfiction put me in this hole that I couldn’t get out of. I relied on this method to help me get through all the bad shit I was dealing with. It was my coping mechanism.
Now? While depression never truly goes away as the lovely disease that it is, I am genuinely happy. Because of this, when I opened all of my past works and works in progress, I felt nothing but guilt. Guilt for not keeping up with my chapters or keeping my account active. I felt dread to have to escape in this world that I had created. I felt no joy or excitement. It was the strangest feeling that happened all in a matter of seconds. Thus leading to my final decision to take a step away from writing. Do I still love it? Absolutely. But now I think I’m going to re-route and focus my writing on what I love - reality. I’m going to get back into journaling and write essays about love and beauty as I’ve always loved to do. But for escaping into a fantasy world? I don’t know when I’ll be back.
Now I know what you’re thinking. “But you can write and be happy!” Nah fam. Writing has been my aid through dark times and now I mostly associate it with those dark times. And for once in my life, I feel this desire to enjoy reality and remain in it - with the exception of journaling here and there. Even daydreaming is difficult. It’s strange. I love my reality. This sounds like gloating now but it’s truly a remarkable feeling. When you’ve been battling depression for 15 years, it feels really freaking nice to say that I’m happy.
So that’s why I’m taking a break - in a very long, drawn out way. But my hope was that after this long story, you might understand truly why I am doing this. It would have been easier to just say that writing doesn’t bring me joy anymore but I feel that I owe more than that; especially because I really don’t know if I’ll write for this blog ever again. The last time I took a break, I disappeared without being able to explain myself and I wanted to do so now that I have the chance.
Ultimately, thank you to everyone who has stuck by me over the years. It’s truly been one hell of a rollercoaster. The friends I’ve made on here have seen me at my lowest of the lows. But hey! I’ll still be around. I just won’t be publishing or continuing any of my works anywhere in the near future. Seriously though. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This website has helped me tremendously and I’ll never forget it. Besides, there’s lots of other exciting things happening in my life now so you’ll certainly see me pop in here and there to talk about it ♡
If you wish, you can message me for questions or anything you want to know. I’m an open book - at least about most things hehe. And don’t worry. I still very much love Taehyung and still wildly obsessing over how marvelous he is. Umf.
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(here’s some recent photos of me as i rarely take selfies anymore haha. and a derp photo of me and the man i love >_< why is the cutest photo of him with the worst photo of me? still cute though hehe)
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carewyncromwell · 3 years
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Oh boy, oh boy, not kidding, I thought about sending you this ask just because I wondered about it earlier today 😄
In all your AUs, the core characteristics of your characters generally stay the same and only change slightly due to circumstances.
What was the biggest change you put one of your characters (OC or not) through across all your AUs (not counting Flipped!AU cause that speaks for itself)? Which was your favourite and which did you find hardest? 💛💚
*considers this* Hmm...that's a very interesting question! Let's see here...
For both the biggest and hardest change, I gotta go with Lucius Malfoy in Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce.
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...Yes, really. 😂 For those of you who haven't read my way-too-long train-wreck, I set about taking on the challenge of giving the entire Malfoy family something of a redemption arc, including Lucius, who would easily be the biggest challenge to show a better side to, out of the three. The HP fandom is generally very on-board with forgiving Narcissa for all the stuff she was involved in, considering she ended up covering for Harry at a critical moment, and forgiving Draco for everything he did because HBP showed him in a pitiable light and J.K. said that he and his wife Astoria raised their son Scorpius better than how Draco himself was...but Lucius? Nope. No way. This is the guy that many fans claim abused Draco, using the films' interpretation of Lucius largely as evidence, since in the books, there really isn't any such cold, abusive undercurrent to Lucius's treatment of Draco. Lucius is often written as singularly bad in fanfiction in order to make Narcissa and Draco seem more sympathetic, and honestly, even if you don't write him that way, I still think Lucius in the books is an objectively terrible person. So trying to find a way to give Lucius any sympathetic depth that could potentially open him up to the slightest bit of positive change was a hurtle I wasn't sure if I could climb. In the end, I decided to break Lucius's character arc into several steps --
Put Lucius and his family in an objectively terrible position. Not only does Lucius nearly die completing a mission for Voldemort, but Voldemort refuses to help save his life, forcing Draco to seek help from someone who has no reason to help them; Lucius loses both of his arms and one of his legs through an incredibly painful process; and worst of all, Lucius has to pretend he's dead and go into hiding without his wife and son, just to keep them from being punished by Voldemort further.
Put Lucius out of his comfort zone. While in hiding from Voldemort, Lucius is forced to live in very modest living arrangements alongside two Muggle-born teenagers, an elderly witch whose daughter was married to a Muggle, and a Squib. This forces him to see those who he would've persecuted previously as individuals, capable of emotions just as valid as his own.
Give Lucius a relatable interest that has nothing to do with his identity as a Death Eater or even as a Malfoy. In this case, I chose choir music, which actually is my mother's greatest passion! Not only does it give us the chance to see Lucius loving something as opposed to hating it, which gives us a new angle to his characterization, but exploring why this interest is news to us (namely, Lucius decided not to pursue music as a career, so as to uphold the Malfoy name) gives his relationship to his family nuance. It also gives other characters a backdoor into his heart, by engaging with him through the things he enjoys.
Explain Lucius's misguided thought process, and then -- naturally -- challenge it. Clearly prejudice has no logic to it, but bigots do still try to find reasons to justify their belief systems and terrible behavior. In this case, Lucius grew up hating Muggles, and rather than seeing how his family's hatred of Muggles prompted his mother to write letters justifying her blood purist beliefs to relatives, which were understandably condemned when they were made public, Lucius solely sees the pain his mother felt at being rejected, rather than how justifiable the backlash to her was. He loved his mother and father, but that love blinds him to how wrong their beliefs were -- just as he was blind to how much him following in their footsteps and chasing glory and status for his family by terrorizing others was wrong. And through his interactions with his fellow tenants and the Muggle World, Lucius comes to see that there's value in the world he used to scorn and that the people he's met don't match the image he'd always had in his head of what "their kind" is like.
Have Lucius stumble a bit, but ultimately learn and grow. Even if in the end, Lucius doesn't exactly make up for everything he's ever done, and so there's still plenty of ground for his arc to cover after the story is over, we see that he's still a much better person than he was at the start, in how he's learned to treat people differently than him with respect and how he even feels the urge to introduce his "bunker family" to his wife and son.
It was a really fun challenge, and one of the things I'm proudest of about Lack of Lamb Sauce is that my mum -- who is as big of a Potterhead as I am and hated Lucius Malfoy more than anyone else in the books besides Umbridge -- said that he ended up being one of her absolute favorite characters in my fic when we read it together. 💜
Favorite changes-wise, I think I'll nominate Pirate!Jacob Cromwell and Merman!Duncan Ashe in the Pirates of the Caribbean AU. I just absolutely loved the dynamic these two ended up having, and it made me ship Jacob/Ashe (Jacashe?) even more than I did already!! 😂 It makes me all the more excited to do more with Duncan in the Tangled AU.
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Fanfic Writer Friday!
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dirty-urie · 3 years
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Date Night
Third Person
Brendon x Sara (OC kinda)
College AU
PWP Oneshot
NC-17
5.4k Words
Disclaimer: This is a fictional story using the names and/or likeness of at least one real person. This is intended for entertainment purposes ONLY. Please do not share or bring up my work with anyone other than fellow fans. Any similarity to real-life events involving these characters that have not been shared with the general public is only coincidence. Just because I’ve included something in my fics does NOT mean I condone, support, or encourage that behavior, language, or action in real life. Please practice safe and consensual sex practices, and just be a good person.
Warnings in Order of Appearance: Real Person Fic, Crude and Vulgar Language Throughout, Mentions of Alcohol, Brief Joke About Forgoing Contraception, Talk and Consumption of Pornography, Unprotected Oral Sex, Female Receiving Oral, Intercourse, Male Receiving Oral, Female Masturbation, Use of a Non-Sex Toy as a Sex Toy, Minor Social Anxiety
Author's Notes:
1. I spelled Sarah's name wrong on purpose because I felt bad writing porn about her. Brendon's technically permitted to write about him, so I'll do that without guilt (okay, with some guilt, but I feel guilty about everything. I have anxiety), but I respect Sarah too much to do that to her. That being said, I didn't want to use a random name, so I decided on a middle ground. Here's Sara, who is both not a real person and also not not married to Brendon Urie in real life. Schrodinger's OC. Okay, thank you for putting up with me.
2. I don’t know if I’m going to write any more third-person fics. I know they’re not really that popular, but for some reason, this spoke to me in third, so I embraced that. Anyway, give it a chance, and if you don’t like it, give whatever I publish next a chance.
3. This used to be split into two parts because I uploaded it on mobile, but I have since condensed the two parts, and now the whole thing is on this post.
Brendon fumbles with his keys as he unlocks the door to his apartment. Sara won't be there for another little while, but he's anxious to get inside anyway. His roommate is away visiting his family for the first time in nearly two months, and he hasn’t gotten any real alone time with his girlfriend since then. It’s hard, and Brendon knows Sara’s been struggling too because she spent their whole coffee shop study-date the day before whispering to him about how she's been practically crawling out of her skin. Brendon shivers at the memory of her hot breath against his ear as he slams his front door shut and hurries to his bedroom.
He's thinking about all the nasty ways he wants to get back at her for getting him so worked up in public when, speak of the devil, his phone buzzes, and Sara's name pops up in the caller ID. Actually, "Brunette from Creative Writing" pops up, but he swears he'll change it one day. Sara jokes that they'll be married with a whole flock of adult children, and she'll be calling him from the bingo hall as "Brunette from Creative Writing." God, he fucking loves her.
"Hey, babe, I just got home," he says after he hits the answer button.
"Okay, I just got out of my lecture, but I'm stopping by my dorm to grab my duffel bag, then I'm going to the drugstore to get condoms that aren't the shitty university clinic ones, so I won't be there for almost another hour," she tells him.
"Noooo, just come straight here. You can just wear my clothes all weekend. And condoms are so unnecessary; I'll just pull out," Brendon whines.
Sara laughs into the phone, knowing he doesn't mean any of that. "Oh sure, in that case, I'll come right over. Did you want to pay me $400,000 to raise a child in cash or check?"
"Uh, check, but you're gonna have to wait a bit to cash it," he replies.
He can practically see her rolling her eyes, even through the phone, "I'll be there in an hour, but I'll bring you something fun from the drugstore," she says.
"Fun like sex fun or fun like gum from the checkout stand fun?"
"You'll just have to wait and see, love you, bye!" she tells him through the phone before hanging up.
"Love you too, babe," he says sarcastically to no one. He walks into his bedroom and makes sure it's spotless. He doesn't want anything whatsoever to get in the way of fun, sexy times once Sara gets here.
His apartment is clean; he has wine and groceries in the fridge, enough money saved up to rent a movie and order dinner later, and no homework, so once Sara shows up with the condoms, he’ll be good to spend the entire weekend at home with her. With nothing else to do, he climbs onto his bed and grabs his laptop. No harm in a little pre-gaming, he figures, pulling up his favorite porn website while he waits.
He clicks on the first video without too much thought. It’s a girl, one Brendon recognizes, wearing a tiny thong and nothing else, and playing with a small bullet vibe while her boyfriend watches. She’s wet, probably just with lube and not actual bodily fluid, he realizes, but at least they bothered to make her look physically aroused at all.
He gets invested in the video, in the new toys that the boyfriend hands her, in the way both of their arousal grows as time goes on. He gets so engrossed that he’s beyond startled when Sara interrupts with, “Starting without me?” eyeing the erection already straining through his jeans.
Brendon laughs with glee now that she’s finally here, “No, no, no, just passing the time while I wait for you. No touching yet, see," he says, holding up his hands and waving them around before pausing his video.
"Well, don't stop on my account," Sara scoffs. "I don't mind you starting without me as long as I'm there when you finish," she murmurs.
They both moan, Brendon in response to her words, Sara in response seeing Brendon's cock twitch in his pants, “Ah fuck, babe, that’ll be sooner than I’d like if you keep talking like that.”
Sara climbs in next to him and snuggles against him so that she can see his computer screen, “Ooo, she’s hot,” she says, pointing to the girl now getting eaten out by the guy who, coincidentally enough, doesn’t look dissimilar to B.
“Yeah, I like a lot of her work,” Brendon says back, disinterested in the video playing on the laptop now that Sara’s actually there in the flesh “hey, you should take your pants off,” he suggests, totally smooth and subtly.
“You’re such a guy, B. No ‘how was your day? Are you hungry? Can I get you something to drink?” she teases.
Under normal circumstances, Brendon would object to such slander on his impeccable moral character. But, well, there’s not a lot of blood in his brain right now, and he knows that she would just respond with more teasing, further delaying the Fun Sexy Times, so he rolls to his side and kisses behind her ear, pressing his cock against her leg in an attempt to tease her into pliability. It works; she melts, whimpering a little bit as heat pools deep in her stomach when she feels just how turned on Brendon is. “You feel so nice, B. Bet you’d feel nicer without this layer of denim between us. Can you help me?”
Brendon unbuttons her pants and moves down to slide them off her body, moving his mouth along the newly revealed skin as he works them off. He’s paying so much attention to the warm flush of her thighs that he almost misses her panties: dark red lace, even darker where she’s soaked through them, and so delicate that they’re nearly see-through.
“Oh fuck, babe, that’s gorgeous. Are you wearing a matching bra?” he asks.
She answers by sitting up and pulling off her t-shirt, revealing the same thin lace. Her nipples are hard, practically poking through the delicate material.
Brendon settles back on his heels to fully take his girlfriend in, now stripped down to just her matching bra and panties set.
Sarah grins down at him, “Why do I get the sense that I can expect this set in every color for my birthday? Although, I know for a fact that I can get the same reaction from you wearing full-coverage high-waisted granny panties,” she thinks aloud after seeing Brendon’s wide-eyed awe.
Brendon isn’t paying attention, though. His mindset shifted from the fun and playful sex they usually have to lust-fueled passion as soon as Sara took her shirt off. Don’t get him wrong, they have great sex, but they normally have to do it fast and quietly and spontaneously, so they’ve gotten good at not taking themselves too seriously, at laughing at Brendon’s old superhero boxers, and then getting to business. Now that he has the chance to really take his time to appreciate, no, worship her as she deserves, he wants to do it right.
He moves off his heels and crawls over her body, supporting himself with one muscled arm as he moves in to kiss her. She picks up on the change in mood immediately, grasping the back of his head to deepen the kiss. He’s throbbing against her thigh now, even through his jeans, and she’s worried that she might come just from feeling him.
She, too, loves their normal sex, but even though it’s fun, it can’t always be as intimate as either of them would like. And it’s a shame too because as good at Brendon is at fucking, banging, screwing, whatever, he’s damn good at making love. At making sure she’s safe and supported and in absolute bliss, even when they’re hooking up in someone’s bedroom at a party, but especially like this when they’ve got hours and total privacy.
When her moans increase in pitch and frequency, Brendon crawls back down on the bed and settles between her thighs. “Darling, these panties are a gift to humanity, but I’m afraid they’re going to get in the way of some things I have planned. You don’t mind if I take them off, do you?” he says, voice deep and gravelly. He mouths against the soaked fabric while he waits for her response.
After taking a moment to collect herself and catch her breath, “God, Brendon, please, I need your mouth, fingers, cock, something,” she whines.
Now that he has her permission, he moves his mouth from her core to the waistband against her hip and bites it, just letting his teeth scrape her skin as he pulls down. Whether intentionally or not, Sara arches her back up, making it easy to slide them all the way down her legs. He kisses her way back up her legs, but instead of stopping between her thighs, he keeps going up. He licks up across the flat planes of her stomach all the way until he reaches her bra. Just like with her panties, he mouths over the fabric first, inching up slowly before sucking on one of her nipples through the lace.
As much as he loves how her breathing gets faster and heavier just from that, he can’t resist the actual mouth-on-skin that the low cut of the bra allows. He sucks a pink mark on each breast and then moves to lick and suckle gently on her neck. They’ve both agreed that they’re not middle schoolers and visible hickeys are beyond tacky, but they both go so wild from neck stimulation that it can be hard to resist spending a few minutes sucking a licking at the rapidly-beating pulse points.
As much as Brendon wants to keep teasing, Sara’s squirming like crazy, and he’s worried that if he kept going in the same way, she’d come before he got to touch her for real. He finally settles between her thighs for real this time, kissing and sucking gently on her vulva for just a second or two. Sara is quivering by the time he moves down to suck on her clit. As soon as he finally makes contact with the sensitive hood, she screams out in ecstasy, taking full advantage of Brendon’s roommate’s absence. He sucks around her clit just like her nipple, a few short staccato bursts followed by long, drawn-out pulls. He moves his tongue gently the whole time to stimulate her further.
Both of her hands are tangled in his hair, tugging hard when he moves from sucking on her clit to licking across her entrance. He licks across the opening in broad strokes before his tongue enters her, rubbing her clit with his thumb the whole time. He waits until her thighs are clenched tight around his head, and she’s bucking up against his mouth before he slips two fingers inside to rub over her g-spot.
“B, stop, I’m gonna fucking come!” She shrieks.
He lifts his head without slowing his fingers, “You don’t wanna come?”
“Want you to be inside me when I do. Inside me for real, not just fingers,” Sara pants, trying hard to distract herself from her building arousal.
As much as Brendon’s disappointed that Sara won’t come on his face, after all, he’s been hard for over an hour now, and he would love to get out of his restrictive jeans and get a little more stimulation than rubbing himself against the bed.
He crawls out of bed and peels his shirt off. Now it’s Sarah’s turn to marvel at her lover. His cheeks and chest are flushed a deep pink from the exertion and arousal, his face is shiny with spit and her juices, and his cock is tenting the material of his pants.
Sara strokes over herself lazily, it’s not nearly as good as Brendon, but it’s something to take the edge off while she watches Brendon unbuckle his belt to strip his pants off. He’s moving slowly on purpose. He always did love to put on a show.
Once he’s down to his black boxer-briefs, he asks Sara where she put the condoms when she came in.
“B, I love that you’re so distracted by me, but the bag is right next to you on the nightstand,” she answers.
“Hey, I’m not wearing my glasses. That’s not fair,” Brendon replies softly. He turns and opens the plastic bag with the drugstore logo on the front. Sara laughs when his eyes visibly widen. “Should I be scared?” He asks, holding up a large vibrating dildo.
Sara laughs. “No, love, I just wanted to get some toys I could leave at your place,” she answers as he pulls out a bullet vibe, two different types of lube, a cock ring, massage oils, whipped cream, a multi-pack of condoms, and yes, gum from the checkout stand.
“...I may have gotten a little carried away in the sexual wellness aisle,” she admits.
Brendon’s eyes are still the size of saucers, “God, no kidding, babe, this is all incredible,” he says, stripping off his boxers and opening the box of condoms to tear a packet open with his teeth. It’s a bad habit, and usually, Sara would scold him, but she’s so worked up that she spreads her legs in anticipation anyway. Her mouth goes dry while he strokes himself with lube before he rolls the condom on.
He finally, finally, finally settles over her. “Is this position okay?” he asks.
“It’s perfect, baby; I love getting to see your face when you push into me,” she answers, whining as he drags his cock across her opening.
That’s good enough for Brendon. He rocks forward into her slowly, partly because he’s a tease but partly because he wants this to last as long as possible. After pushing in deep to rub back and forth across her g-spot, he starts thrusting in earnest, relishing her moans and pants.
“Oh B, you feel so good,” she cries out.
“You feel even better, love. Squeezing so nicely around me. So tight and wet,” he says.
Sara scratches down his back in sheer bliss. Brendon’s rhythm is steady, but he’s moving just slowly enough that they can both relish every thrust without feeling overly needy or impatient. She pushes her thighs together to feel him even better inside her.
His thrusts falter for a second, and he chokes out a gasp. “Love you, love feeling you,” he groans, “but it’s been nearly a month since we last had sex, babygirl. If you keep that up, I am going to come.”
She relaxes her thighs just a little bit. “God, I love how sensitive you are right now, babe, responding to my every touch so much. I love you collected and composed too, but it’s such a treat having you so weak for me,” she marvels, stroking the back of his neck.
A shiver goes down his whole spine, and he devotes all of his energy to not coming. “I haven’t touched myself since we last had sex,” he admits, “I figured if my sweet girl couldn’t get off, I couldn’t either. It’s been such a challenge, but fuck, it was worth it. I’m so on edge for you.”
She tightens around him, moving her hand to touch her clit. “Shit, Brendon, that’s so fucking hot. I’m just thinking about you late at night, hard and aching thinking about me, but controlling yourself so it could be all the better when we finally reunited. Did you ever cheat? Did you ever jack yourself but force yourself to pull away right before you came to roll over and go to sleep? God, I bet you had so many dirty dreams. Bet you woke up humping a pillow because your body needed to get off so bad. Bet you’d struggle to hide your hard-on in public when your mind wandered even just a little. Such a dirty needy boy, but so so good for me, aren’t you?” she pants out, squeezing tighter as she talks.
He laughs, “You know me so well, sweetheart, all of the above is true. My roommate was thrilled to have all the hot water for himself this month because… I took a lot of cold showers. I’ll leave it at that. Now, if you don’t mind, I believe you’ve taken my job,” he says, replacing her hand on her clit with his own.
Sara falls back and goes rigid, crying out. He circles his thumb faster as the pace of his thrusts picks up. “I’m gonna come!” She shouts.
“Do it, come on me,” Brendon whispers.
Sara contracts around him, shrieking and convulsing as she comes on him before melting back onto the bed.
Brendon leans down to nip at her shoulder and then kiss her lips. “Good, baby?”
She nods, eyes closed and still panting hard.
“I’ll give you a second,” he murmurs, mostly to himself before pulling out and collapsing down next to her. He strokes over himself while he waits for her to come back down to earth, still rock hard.
“Shit, B, you still haven’t come,” she finally realizes, “do you want me to blow you?”
His cock twitches at the thought.
“Or I could ride you? Let you watch my tits bounce as I fuck you?” She suggests.
“That one wanna be back in that perfect cunt.”
Sara moves to straddle him, rubbing her clit against his tummy and kissing him before moving back to settle on him for real. She lets him thrust up into her a couple of times before moving herself, relishing the way his muscles tense under his flushed skin.
Brendon loves being ridden. He wouldn’t say it’s his favorite position, but it’s up there. It’s even better when Sara takes her bra off, as pretty as it is, and he gets to see her entire naked body. She gets herself at the perfect angle and rides him as hard as she can.
“I’m really not going to last long,” he warns.
Sara tangles her hands back in his hair just like he loves. She’s pulling out all the stops to get him to come. “God, B, me neither, I didn’t think I had it in me, but I’m right back on the edge. Just rub my clit, and I’ll come.”
He moves his hands from her ass to touch her clit.
She shudders, “B, I’m gonna come!”
“Me too,” he grunts out, “do you want me to pull out?”
“No, wanna feel your hot come inside me, even with the condom,” she answers before coming again. Even harder this time as waves of pleasure roll through her entire body.
The rapid contractions around his cock trigger his own orgasm, and his entire head goes blank as he gets lost in the sensation. Sara collapses and situates herself in his arms just as they’re both starting to come down.
He moves, but she stops him. “Honey, I’ve gotta,” he starts, but she whines and shakes her head, knowing exactly where he’s going, “I’ve gotta pull out so we can clean up and eat dinner. Round two after Italian?”
She finally nods but wraps her legs tighter against him anyway, “just two more minutes. Then we can go be romantic.”
***
“Sara, sweetheart, food’s almost here,” he whispers thirty minutes later. He’s wearing pajama pants with no shirt, and his torso’s still wet from the shower he took to rinse off. “Do you wanna go get yourself cleaned up while I set up the coffee table to eat?” He asks.
Sara shakes her head, “I get clingy and needy after sex-”
Brendon cracks a grin because he knows this, of course.
“So you’re stuck with me for the next couple of hours,” she finishes.
“Mm, that’s fine with me, babe. I just want you to be comfortable,” he responds, kissing her forehead.
She moves up into the kiss and realizes that a shower might be nice after all, “Actually, I am a little sticky. Come into the bathroom with me?”
“Anything you want, love,” he says, scooping her up and carrying her to the shower.
He turns the water on for her and then goes to sit on the counter while she rubs off the sweat under the spray. “B?” She calls.
“Yeah?”
“I know it’s nothing fancy, but when you rubbed my clit in little circles, I nearly died on the spot. Normally when I’m alone, I just stroke back and forth, but god, it felt so good to feel something new,” she says. Brendon doesn’t respond immediately. “B?” She calls back timidly, shy now. “B?”
She’s getting worried that he left without her hearing, so she pulls back the shower curtain and has to choke back a moan. Brendon’s still sitting on the counter, his head tipped back on the mirror, palming over himself through his PJ pants.
“God, Sara, sorry, I just love hearing how I make you feel, and I couldn’t help it,” he tells her.
Sara shuts the water off and walks across the bathroom to Brendon, paying no mind to how she’s dripping all over the tile. She yanks him up to his feet and drops to her knees on the padded bathmat in front of the sink. She pulls his pants down just enough- no underwear, she observes without surprise- and takes him in her mouth, getting him slick enough that she can stroke him to total hardness with her hand. Once he’s fully hard, she takes him back in her mouth and sucks hard, making his knees tremble. She bobs her head up and down, stroking him with her hand when she doesn’t have his whole length in her mouth.
He’s bracing himself against the counter to stay upright and not buck into her mouth. She moves down to just stimulate the tip while quickly stroking over the rest of him.
“Can you come for me? Food is going to be here any minute,” she says, looking up at him with big eyes.
“You playing with yourself down there, baby? Getting all wet from sucking me off?” He asks, the dirty talk getting him closer to the edge.
“Oh, you know it, gets me so hot, making you feel good. I wish I had one of my new toys, though,” she pouts before licking his dick again.
Brendon gropes behind himself blindly, trying to find… well. It’s not a vibrator, but it does, well, vibrate, he thinks, hitting the button on his electric toothbrush. He hands it to Sara, who puts it between her legs without hesitation, pressing it against her clit.
She goes weak, moaning a buzzy hum over his cock while she sucks. She knows he’s close by the way his balls are drawing into his body, so she goes ahead and lets herself go. Tightening the pressure around his cock.
“Shit, babe, I’m gonna come,” he warns, hips bucking. “Can I come in your mouth or…?”
She holds up a thumbs up, and he comes, most of it staying in her mouth, but some ends up dripping down her chin. She swallows, and Brendon hands her a wad of toilet paper to wipe off the rest with.
He tucks himself back into his pants and then helps her back to her feet.
“Can I have my toothbrush back, love?” He requests softly.
Sara blushes and takes the still-vibrating toothbrush out from between her legs, “Sorry, I forgot I still had that.”
“No worries,” he responds with a soft chuckle, kissing her forehead. He takes the toothbrush and turns it off before rinsing it off under the sink. “Gosh, you did a number on this thing. It’s soaked,” he marvels, “My perfect messy girl.”
Just then, there’s a knock at the door. “Perfect timing, must be the food. I’ll deal with that while you get dressed?” He suggests, and she nods, still a little dazed from the orgasm. Well, orgasms, plural.
She goes back to his room, where she stashed her bag and rummages through it for her pink silk slip nightgown. It’s super simple, just spaghetti straps with a straight-across neckline and then deep pink fabric straight down to just below her ass, but Brendon loves it. She suspects it’s just because she can’t move very much without flashing her butt, but he insists that the slip itself is gorgeous.
As she’s getting dressed, she hears the door open and Brendon apologizing for his relative state of undress, saying he just got out of the shower. Brendon’s naked more often than he’s clothed, so Sara just shrugs it off until she hears a giggle and flirting coming from the delivery girl.
Brendon stammers out that he has a girlfriend, but he’s flattered, but that doesn’t seem to be deterring the delivery girl, who makes an extra point to linger her hand on Brendon’s as she hands him the food. Sara strides out of his bedroom, “Hey, B, have you seen my panties? I can’t find them in your bed or your bathroom or the kitchen or the sofa, so I wonder if I left them in your pocket during our multiple rounds of lovemaking,” She calls before pretending to spot him and the girl for the first time by the door. She scootches in next to him and kisses him on the cheek, plastering a sickly-sweet smile on her face. “My apologies, didn’t know you had a guest,” she lies, shooting death beams at the delivery girl whose hand is on Brendon’s bicep. The girl retracts her hand, and Sara grabs a twenty-dollar bill from her wallet on the doorside table to tip her. Sara knows Brendon would’ve already tipped her on the website, but this more of a ‘please don’t touch my boyfriend without his consent tip’ than a ‘thank you for your work tip.’ “Have a nice day, ma’am,” Sara tells her, shutting the door.
Brendon smirks, but there’s a weariness behind it, “Way to save the day, baby. Getting possessive?”
“No, I love it when others check you out. Just validates how hot I am for you. You just sounded like you do when you get overwhelmed at the grocery store, and I figured you were feeling a little claustrophobic,” she explains.
Brendon nods. “I don’t mind a flirt, but she was getting way too handsy. And even then, it wouldn’t have been the end of the world; I just felt a little vulnerable being shirtless and all. She probably just wanted a big tip. I bet that works for her a lot. And y’know, I probably shouldn’t have been shirtless at all. If I was in a restaurant, they’d have every right to kick me out, so really, I’m lucky she didn’t blacklist my address,” he rambles, turning to get plates and silverware from the kitchen.
Sara touches his shoulder and grabs the bags of food from him. “Hey, B, you don’t need to justify your feelings, okay? I get it; she was in your space. Both your personal space by touching you and your physical area by being near your home. But it’s sweet of you to give her the benefit of the doubt. You’re probably right, I would guess that works with nine out of ten guys; she was cute. And hey, I gave her a nice tip to get her to go away, so it worked on us too.”
“And you got to brag to a stranger about our hot sex life, so it really did all work out in the end,” Brendon half-jokes, and she’s happy to observe that any panic seems to have left his body.
“Mhm, my favorite hobby. Maybe we should order dessert, and I can change into something even more slutty. This shows my ass so nicely, but my chest is totally covered,” she suggests, and he cracks a real smile for her. “Seriously though, you’re totally good?”
“Yes, ma’am, everything’s perfect,” he responds, and he’s telling the truth.
“Good, let me set up dinner then. You go relax on the sofa,” she orders.
Brendon goes to sit on the couch, knowing better than to deny a direct request. Sara plates the food and brings it to the now dim living room, where Brendon’s lit three candles in the center of the table.
“Awww, how romantic,” she praises, settling against Brendon with their food.
“I had more romance planned, I promise, I just weighed my options, and I cared more about snuggling with my girl than trying to overdo it on decorating the living room,” Brendon responds. “I do still have wine in the fridge if you want that?”
She twists around to kiss him. “The romance level is perfect. Consider me totally romanced. I think I’ll wait on the wine until later if that’s okay? It’ll make me sleepy, and I’m still interested in a round two,” she says, resting her hand against Brendon’s thigh.
“Whatever you want is fine with me, love,” he says, sighing contentedly.
***
“You’re falling asleep, babygirl.”
“Am not.”
“Your eyes are closed.”
“Your eyes are closed.”
Brendon smiles, “Do you wanna keep watching the movie, or do you wanna go to bed? If you’re sleepy, that’s fine, but we’ve gotta move to the bedroom then,” he murmurs.
Sara moves off the couch and stretches, turning on the light. “I’m not even tired; I took a nap earlier. It’s just the dim lighting and carb surplus. C’mon, let’s keep watching, it’s only 10 and we’re not even to the, ‘paint me like one of your French girls’ scene.”
“Okay, if you insist, then we’ll soldier on. I’ll get dessert,” he agrees, getting up to head to the kitchen.
“Ooo what’s for dessert?” she asks.
“Cannoli and coffee,” he responds.
Sara moans playfully. “God, Brendon, I’m so turned on right now.”
Brendon rolls his eyes. “I’ll try not to take offense that you’re more attracted to sweets than me.”
Sara wraps her arms around his waist from behind him. “I’d choose you over cannoli any day. Someone could offer me a thousand cannoli and I’d scoff in their face and then go kiss all over you. I love you, babe. Thank you for a great date night,” she says before spinning him around to kiss him.
“I love you too,” Brendon whispers against her lips. “Tonight was wonderful, and I owe it all to you.”
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loved-lefthaunted · 3 years
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What are your thoughts on all the evermore songs?
oh my god. this is such a hard question for me so brace yourself. it’s taken me nearly 2 months to write this out and i still don’t think i’ve managed to encapsulate all my thoughts.
So, I have very strong feelings about evermore. I immediately loved it three times as much as folklore, for a variety of reasons. I can do a song-by-song breakdown alongside my general thoughts of the album below:
Firstly, I want to preface this by saying that I do not disregard the impact that folklore had on me prior to evermore’s release. I am not oblivious to the fact that folklore likely primed me for the sound that evermore had and that my mind was set up for a similar sounding album so was willing to receive it with more open ears.
That being said, I think that evermore is the superior album. The overall emotional range and sonic variety of the album is wider and more thought out. The different songs provide a more well-rounded listen in my opinion and give me much more emotional investment than folklore. Each individual song feels strong and there are far more songs with single potential than folklore.
So let’s get down to it:
1. Willow - iconic. The big sister that cardigan deserves. The song that I wish the Lover album had been. A song so fully devoted in such a soft and sweeet way without feeling sickly. A mature way to dedicate a song to the person that you can’t live without but in a way that doesn’t throw pink confetti at your face and tell single people to fuck off. TAKE MY HAND? OKAY TAYLOR. WRECK MY PLANS? FOR SURE BABES. THAT’S MY MAN? 100% FEEL U GAL.
2. Champagne Problems - LOOK. I AM CLAIMING THE NAME SAMPAGNE PROBLEMS FOR ALL FUTURE CONTENT. I want to be proposed to just so that I can reject them and then get wildly drunk on overpriced alcohol. It’s heartwrenching in a way that Taylor hasn’t been since the likes of Treacherous. It doesn’t throw sadness at you, overwhelm you with tears. It hides heartbreak within a soft piano riff and gorgeous imagery.
3. Gold Rush - a sapphic daydream. i cannot believe this is real. The return of a heart-thumping drumbeat and the most lovely, pure song that just describes the infatuation with someone beautiful and how you can wonder about them and be so happy about them and jealous of them all at once.
4. ‘Tis The Damn Season - this christmas song makes me wish i had a boy next door in my hometown that i could randomly sleep with. why don’t i have a fluffy hallmark holiday film based upon this premise? why isn’t there a christmas music video to show me how their interactions work during the holidays and how it differs so vastly with their normal lives? Why can i feel both the distance and the closeness that these two people feel? the cutest dedication to a very un-cute casual relationship. a bittersweet shout out to the people who make us happy for a few fleeting moments spread out over the long haul.
5. Tolerate It - i have very VERY strong feelings about this one. it feels like it both encapsulates romantic and non-romantic love so perfectly. It pairs perfectly with the likes of Closure (more on that later). We all deserve to be celebrated. In a world of people settling for less than they deserve, we should reach for those who deserve us. We are worth it. Find someone who will show us how worthy we are. It’s aching and slow and painful and just....everything. Just because someone has always been there doesn’t mean they deserve to continue to be there. Tolerating you is not the same as deserving your loyalty.
6. No Body, No Crime (feat. HIAM) - IT TOOK 14 YEARS BUT TAYLOR FINALLY MURDERED A MAN IN COLD BLOOD AND I AM HERE FOR IT. MEN ARE TRASH, LADIES. REMEMBER THIS. ENGRAVE IT INTO YOUR TOMBSTONES. TATTOO IT ON YOUR FOREHEADS. MEN AS AN ENTITY DO NOT DESERVE US. MURDER THEM. A YEEHAW DREAM. (I have no strong feelings about HIAM but the existence of Este’s name is a blessing in itself, their backing vocals are a lovely addition and a true testament to their friendship as we know how protective Taylor is about mixing business and friendship through collaborations)
7. Happiness - this song is HURTFUL. a song about growth, a song about finding yourself amidst the loss of a partner, a friend, a family member. a loss so deep that it will hurt you for years to come and take a piece of you away forever. but a loss that you have to be resigned to and grow from and let go of. the slow build of the backing is something i haven’t heard since Holy Ground. Both songs talk about loss and moving on in such starkly different ways but still encompass the feeling of reminiscing on something good and pure and perfect whilst battling the knowledge that it’s over and trying to be happy for the person now that they’re gone.
8. Dorothea - the sweetest girl in the neighbourhood. a childhood friend that we all miss having. a person we watched grow into something massive and successful and we’re so genuinely happy for them. the song encompasses the feeling of a distanced joy. a joy that has nothing to do with you, everything to do with this person that you’d be happy to accept again with open arms but will be equally as happy to watch succeed from a distance. a bouncy backing track and lovely vocalisations that really build a sense of a warm hug and the feeling of soft morning sun on your skin.
9. Coney Island (feat. The National) - alright. so i’m sat on a bench in the cold, wrapped up in a winter coat and a hat and gloves and a massive scarf that covers half of my face. i can see the air when i breathe out. there’s an empty ferris wheel at a deserted fairground and i can remember when it was alive and bustling and when i was surrounded by all of the people closest to me on a late summer’s day. and i miss them. i yearn for that to be back. the way we yearn for a time before covid, before masks and elbow touches and sanitising everything. a time when you could sit around a table with your friends and welcome someone with a hug and visit your family for the holidays. a time of joy that was so overlooked until it was gone. The presence of The National is also a breathtaking addition and truly deserved after Aaron’s input on both folklore and evermore. I’m glad they saved it for this song.
10. Ivy - this song just radiates GREEN. Am I in a forest? Am I just in a greenhouse, watering the plants? The guitar/banjo sounds make me so horrifically nostalgic for Speak Now era. The male backing vocals remind me that Taylor has evolved so far from the girl we used to exclusively listen in conjunction with Caitlin Bird and Liz Huett. 
11. Cowboy Like Me - one of the only songs I don’t really care about? it’s not bad, it’s just not great. it’s yeehaw without the accompanying passion. It’s the end of a sad, sad wild west movie. It’s a backing track in a scene of a TV show when someone is going on a journey alone to find themselves. But it’s nothing special.
12. Long Story Short - DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME. THE BEST SONG ON THIS ALBUM IN MY OPINION. THE STRONGEST BEAT, THE NOSTALGIA OF 1989, THE LYRICS OF RED, THE FUCKS GIVEN OF REPUTATION. THE PERFECT IMMERSIVE TAYLOR EXPERIENCE. TRULY A 10/10 ENTITY. I WILL HAVE THIS PLAYING AT MY GRADUATION. I SURVIVED.
13. Marjorie - the loss of a grandparent is always a lot. i’ve lost 2 due to Covid and it’s cut me deeper than I ever imagined. Marjorie is the 50′s sepia toned daydream that sends you flying back to being a child and being taught life’s most important lessons when you were far too young to understand them from someone so much wiser than you. It feels like I’m being taught to live again. Another build up backing track, but in such an uplifting way? A way that makes you think of the sun slowly coming out of the clouds. Of the end of a rainstorm and the start of a new day. Optimism and innocence. Peace and hope.
14. Closure - right, the return of sadness. The use of the clatter and discord in the background. The death of a Big Machine (subtle and perfectly done). She’s doing better. We all are. It reminds me of the friends I’ve lost and crave to have back but know I’m better off without. We have to let go of this. Close the chapter. You don’t even need the epilogue, it’s over. The production makes me so uncomfortable and it’s SO NECESSARY because lack of closure is UNSETTLING. It’s horrifying. It’s devastating. But the lyrics and the power of the song show how strong you can be and how important it is to push through the discomfort and continue to live.
15. Evermore (feat. Bon Iver) - the titular song. The return of Bon Iver’s vocals and the lone piano background are truly something to be commemorated for years to come. Although it lacks the painstaking hurt of Exile, this is one of her most simple pieces of artistry on this album and it’s BEAUTIFUL. Something that feels bare and raw. A song that cuts deep and shows us the true core of what she’s currently feeling right now: that although pain might feel forever, it’s not. all pain, much like joy, is fleeting and we have to feel it but we need to remember that it’s only a piece of our experience and place it into context. The song veers on self-pity and wallowing in hopelessness until the latter third, where suddenly hope rises out of the ashes alongside a slightly padded out production from Bon Iver’s vocals. A strong end to the album. This song sets us up for future albums on a note of optimism. It’s a new dawn. 
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booksandwords · 3 years
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Autoboyography by Christina Lauren
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Read time: 2 Days Rating: 4/5
The quote: This is how we reveal ourselves: these tiny flashes of discomfort, the reactions we can’t hide. — Tanner Scott
Autoboyography is a wonderful book that enjoys a lot of praise. I really enjoyed it. This review ended up being quite lengthy. I have chosen to focus largely on the characters of Autoboyography which I really appreciated. This is a well thought out and designed story, intended to provoke thought in readers. Not just about religion and relationships but maybe about themselves a bit. It deals with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints referred to as LDS with at least some dignity, more than is normal.
The opening is great, a walk through the relevant parts of Tanner's life and clarification on the LDS. Some stereotypes are displayed, these are still high school students. The LDS we all think of are those on their Mission. The pacing of the plot is at least reasonable, it fits the relationship. Especially after the line "You've always led with your heart first and your heart second, but I need you to think about this one." (Jenna to Tanner, p 100). There are a couple of moments that are questionable. A convenient change in the enrolment numbers for the Seminar (14 to 15), one frequently mentioned moments comes to nothing. The plot is described as Tanner falling in love with Sebastian, which just feels right it really is that simple and that complicated. The ending feels right. An HFN was almost certain but it was the journey that I was unsure of and really enjoyed.
Characters are multidimensional and of their circumstances. With Emily and Jenna wholly distrustful to the point of nearly hating LDS due to their previous experiences with it. Paul knows what could have been and knows the situation his son his in, as well as his familial history having a role to play. Due to the differences between the families, Tanner and Sebastian don't face the same concerns or restrictions within their relationship, though both have the same source to a degree. Tanner's family objects to Sebastian's religion. Sebastian's family stringently objects to same-sex relationships. Autoboyography is one of those books that shows love in multiple forms. Familial, in different forms. Romantic between the protagonists, it's complicated and messy. Platonic between friends and unrequited love as well. Autoboyography has some wonderful quotes about love, faith, family and friendship.
Tanner 'Tann' Scott is a bi, senior and transplant to Provo, Utah from Palo Alto, California, a move that put him firmly back in the closet. Even his best friend, the brilliant Autumn doesn't know his true sexuality. His parents are extremely supportive of his sexuality but don't want him to get hurt in the very Mormon town he now lives in. His subject strengths are in the math/science stream. he's an honors student essentially with his pick of universities. After accepting a challenge to join the Seminar, a semester-long book writing course he is introduced to local celebrity Sebastian Brother. Tann's attraction to Sebastian is instantaneous  "His smile ruins me." (Tanner, p 22) which is a great line, I remember being bowled over like that. His fast movement from infatuation to love is interesting to read. Tanner is helpless to resist even though he knows he should (Sebastian is in the same position there). His coping mechanisms are sometimes healthy, sometimes destructive, reading both in the same character added a great depth. I quite like Tanner, because of how this book his written I could feel his anger and pain.
Sebastian 'Seb' Brother is a published author tutoring the Seminar Tan is in. After the semester is over he goes on book tour than on his two year Mission. While he is attracted to men, he doesn't identify as gay. His father is the local Bishop as such his family are expected to lead by example in both word and deed. Seb's family are very welcoming and accepting of Tann when they meet him. Sebastian's experimentation and reluctance to label (and hair-splitting) were extremely off-putting. I've been known to DNF a book for less, despite what I said earlier, that was more about Tann's reaction rather than Seb's choices. "I'm not gay, I'm not straight, I'm me" (Sebastian, p 224). The very thing that makes him off-putting makes him a great character, it's the circumstances and expectation (familial and communal) that make the person. He also has a hidden passion that is shown only at the right times but it was definitely needed, and it, not a small streak either.
In the support cast, there is a standout. Auddy. Autumn Summer Green. Tann's best friend, she is ride or die but with a complication. Those unhealthy coping mechanisms I was mentioning, they relate to her. My one question about her is how can she be so beautiful and accepting of everything that happens? It's not passivity she's just a really well written best friend. But Tann's family are great. There is a lot going on there. Full acceptance of Tann's sexuality, but wanting to protect him from the pain they experienced. "How would this be any different from his parents saying guys are off-limits?" "It's completely different. Among a hundred other reasons, going to church is a choice.. Being bisexual is simply who you are I'm protecting you from the toxic messages of the church." (Tanner and Jenna, p 99).
One of the minor problematic elements in Autoboyography is a sense of abuse between Tanner and Sebastian. It's psychological, not physical and it called out but not in words. Some people won't have an issue with it due to the context but I did. Your identity is your own if Sebastian (or a real-life person) wants to live their life according to a religious doctrine rather that is their prerogative. There is of course the larger issues of homophobia. The LDS elements may be an issue for some readers. It is core to the plot and cannot be ignored. Those with a particular issue or history with such religions/ doctrines/ cults should read with care. I make no judgements on organised religion here.
Reading the acknowledgements I read something interesting. "We started talking about this book years ago; Cristina worked in a junior high counselling office in Utah, and Saw teen after teen coming through who honestly believed, devastatingly, that their parents would probably rather have a dead child than a gay one. As a woman who grew up bi in the queer-friendly world of the Bay-Area, Lauren felt a social obligation to reach out to teens whose experiences weren't as easy". I like that this is where Autoboyography came from. Built on their experiences with at-risk teens. Given this was the source of the idea I love the inclusion a resource section. The Song of Achilles is entirely unsurprisingly, it is hugely popular and stunning. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe has been on my tbr for far too long. The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert is an absolute classic and is also a brilliant stage musical. LGBTQ Reads I'd never heard of but it's really good. If I may add my own recommendations; The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee (it's my purple pride book) and Cemetry Boys by Aiden Thomas (own voice Trans POC).
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blackevermore · 3 years
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x Secrets of The Lake: The Company of Misery and Pain
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{ Chapter 4: Slight Nsfw }
Summary: Vladimir Masters’ family tree has always been tainted by secrets swept under the rug. From generation to generation there have been countless reasons the Masters’ family had seemed to keep private from the public. Even to this day, Vladimir was no exception. But what was one to do when a restless spirit from the settlement years finally breaks free from restraints and demands you answer for your ancestor’s crimes? Vladimir doesn’t know. However, Clockworks does.
Notes: We just having fun, rewriting some of the canon, new adventure new characters. I will apologize now for any grammar, spelling, weird sentence structuring in advance. My brain writes faster than my fingers and even when I go back through to reread it I still miss things. Sorry about that!
Word Count: 3730
P.s: the nsfw is only in the beginning but it ends in stabbing like nothing graphic. Also would anyone like to be tagged when i update?
He doesn’t remember how he got here, or even where here was but it was familiar and felt like home. It was warm by the fire that lit up the room in feverish reds and oranges. He could feel his body gaining back its energy and his core being restored the longer the warmth surrounded him. In the comfortable bliss, he didn’t notice the pair of arms snaking across his torso until they were wrapped around his neck. His eyes shot open but he was quickly buried in the shallow of someone’s neck in a strong embrace. That’s when he felt the pressure of a body on top of his pushing down. He hadn’t registered the rocking motion against his hips until he heard the broken moan in his ear. Who? It was like a siren's call that made him clasp his hands on the body atop of him. He doesn’t remember how any of this started nor did he care to stop it. The pleasure he felt was intoxicating and drowned out all of his logical senses telling him to stop. He clung to her breathlessly as he felt his chest start to burn, he was now chasing this ghostly high throughout his entire body. 
“Vlad…” The voice called his name in desperation, begging him to continue and singing for all those to hear. Her voice was all he ever wanted to hear, yet he had never heard her like this at all. What? Nails dug into his shoulders and down his back leaving trails of red tracks and intricate designs. It stung like lashes but it fueled him even more as he shifted to bite her neck. Her cry sounded more surprised than pleasurable which worried him for some reason. Before he could pull away to ask if she was alright she pulled him in again and slammed down at just the right angle to distract him once more. 
“Fu-fiddlesticks,” He caught himself saying and pulled her down against him as close as possible. He hadn’t felt this in god knows how long and he refused to allow it to fade away. Once again her nails found his back and circled around his left shoulder blade. It tickled a bit and he chuckled into her, daring to take another bite of her lovely dark skin. 
Vlad had very much given in to this fantasy of whoever he had with him. Surely, there was no harm in enjoying a fit of passion in comfortable privacy. The hands around his neck now played in his hair combing out soft tangles. But when their hand pulled back with a few loose strands he peeked and saw how dark they were. ‘My hair hasn't been that way since-’ his thoughts were cut short as he felt the jerking motion of his body as the hilt of a blade buried itself inside him. Then followed a burning, searing heat pooling and dripping down before pain came from just under his left shoulder.
Vlad shot up from the bed choking back a scream of utter pain as his back still felt attacked. He was sweating and panting as he stumbled to get out of the bed and head towards the adjacent bathroom. He made it to the mirror and looked himself over. He looked exhausted, his long silver hair was a mess as it hung into what was left of his ponytail and his eyes were lifeless. What left him speechless was a small patch of hair towards the right that had now turned jet black. He fumbled with the strands mesmerized and very confused. He hadn’t seen the darkness of his hair in almost 24 years, yet here it was. Vlad’s head began to hurt as everything that had happened flashed across his mind. He was nearly torn apart and crumbled down to nothing, Vlad knew what it was like to be badly beaten but never to the brink of existence. He gripped onto the sink to steady himself when he felt the sudden weakness in his legs. 
He knew he passed out which meant Danny was the one to drag him all the way back home. Vlad felt embarrassed having to think about the young hero having to do so. After a moment of finding the strength to stand on his own again, Vlad pushed off the sink and headed towards the door of the room. He much preferred to be in the comforts of his own bedroom than the guest room. At this moment, Vlad cursed himself for being a rich bastard, the halls seemed to almost go on for miles. He had thought about trying to turn into Plasmius to hurry the journey along but he knew his powers were still in recovery. He was stuck in his normal human form until otherwise. When he finally made it to his room he heard talking coming a few doors down where Danielle’s room was. Who in the world was in his house? That’s when it hit him he was supposed to pick up Dani from Danny’s. Had Danny brought her home? Vlad slowly made his way towards the door and slowly pushed it open. Expecting Dani to be on her bed doing whatever she liked doing. Vlad found Danny instead looking out her window on the phone.
“Yeah no, Dani has to stay with me until all this is dealt with, not that she minds it. But Vlad still hasn’t woken up and it’s been three days and when he does I don’t think he’s going to be in the best of moods.” Three days? He had been unconscious for three days? Vlad swore it felt like a couple of hours from the time he fainted to now. He gripped his head when it started to pound again. Danny's ghost sense flew from his mouth and he turned around. “Hey, I gotta go, yeah he just woke up and the last thing I need is him dying on the floor. Talk to you later guys.” Danny hung up the phone and crossed his arms.
He gave Vlad a weak smile, “Welcome back to the land of the living, feel like shit?”
“Language,” was all Vlad could retort with before he pulled back out of the room and headed towards his. Danny followed but had never actually been in Vlad’s bedroom before. He felt like he was invading privacy but if this was where they were going to talk, fine by him. Danny should have known it would be a mini apartment but he wasn’t expecting the gothic-like interior. Sam would feel like the dark goddess she was in this room and it made him snicker. Vlad sat in an armchair in front of an unlit fireplace and slumped down to get more comfortable. Danny frowned, sympathetic to the situation, he had been there before, he took the chair next to Vlad and waited for the other to speak first.
“Where do we even begin?” Vlad grumbled before dragging a hand down his face.
“Maybe with what Clockwork told you,” Danny answered. Vlad only nodded and forced himself to sit up straight and take a more proper position before he told Danny everything. Danny really wanted to crack a joke, tell Vlad that’s what he gets for all the years going after his mom, mock him for breaking a heart he knew nothing about, however, Danny kept silent and only nodded along. Vlad took long pauses between his explanations and side rambles when he felt himself getting worked up. It was just a lot to take in.
“So… do’ya know which ancestor she might be linked to?” Danny could see it on Vlad’s face the man was just as clueless as he was back at the lake.
“No idea, like I told you my family stayed in Europe the whole time then settled in Russia. I'm a second generation American, there would be no point in my family owning a servant of African descent in the German empire then losing everything and going to Russia. None of this makes sense.” Vlad’s brows knitted together and he mumbled a few curses under his breath.
“Maybe there was an ancestor that came overseas during the Mayflower or whatever and they never went back. So like now you have this distant relative that your family never kept up with and they did something bad and BAM angry ghost.” Danny could admit he was a bit dramatic with his explanation, the hands in the air waving back and forth near the end was a bit much. But he had a point, a strong point, those that went overseas tended to be forgotten by the main family if the root of the tree stayed put. Vlad had many cousins he knew nothing about simply because they lived in other European countries. This didn’t feel like a distant cousin ancestor problem though, Vlad could feel that it was heavily tied to his main bloodline.
“I would agree with you, Daniel, but something tells me this is more within my family than some twice removed cousin.” Vlad looked up at the boy weakly. Danny huffed and nodded before propping his chin upon his hand. “I have access to my complete family records,” Vlad began again which made Danny perk up a bit. “I could try to trace back and see if anyone had travelled over during that time and had maybe gone back. I heavily doubt it but right now that’s all we have.”
“Better than nothing.” Danny tried to sound optimistic but he knew it failed. Vlad only nodded in agreement before staring off into the distance once again thinking. His thoughts were clouded between checking his family records but also the dream he had earlier. Danny felt the room become uncomfortably silent and knew it was time to leave Vlad alone.
As Danny got to his feet he scratched the back of his head and asked, “So do you need anything? I’ve kinda been babysitting you while you've been out, but don’t expect me to wear some butler outfit.” Vlad lightly chuckled and it made Danny feel a bit better.
“You can’t even tie a tie without throwing a fit, but anyways no I’m fine, you may go, Daniel.”
“M’kay. Let me know what you find.” Danny turned ghost and shot through the floor to get to Vlad’s portal so he could get back home. Vlad watched him leave then sighed before snapping his fingers for a ghost maid to appear. 
“Yes, Master?”
“Something heavy, no ice.” Vlad gave his order and the maid was fading away to retrieve it. A drink, a drink was what he needed even if his body was still in recovery.
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salthaven · 4 years
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Make a Change P15 (an Explanation and Summary)
Part Fifteen (An Explanation and Summary)
So, as I recently posted, I don’t plan to continue this story any longer. As much as I loved writing it, I also...fell out of love, I suppose. I just don’t have the time, passion, or motivation to try forcing myself to write it anymore, and it’s unfair to you guys to have to accept a sloppy second, something thrown onto a document for the sake of a word count and an update. I want to write stuff I’m proud of, and that just wasn’t happening with this story.
That said, one reader asked for a summary, so that they could get some closure. Luckily, I have some notes that I took as I planned the story and started writing it, and I thought you’d like to see some of them. This includes three things: 1. The schedules for most of the main characters 2. The heroes I was planning on bringing in and 3. All of the ideas I had for “Who on Earth will Marinette end up with?” (This was a doozy.) Along with this, I want to talk about other pairings I had in mind. 
With that all said, let’s hop right in!
The Schedules:
I really planned out their schedules, just so I could start figuring out who the Quantic Kids would be. I had a general idea in mind: Each student at Collège des Arts would have to take their four core classes (History, Language Arts, Mathematics, and Science), a language, and then their last period would be a two hour block that focused on their artistic talent. I set it up this way so that I could integrate the Quantic Kids into Marinette’s life. (Along with this, I made it so the whole school had lunch after fourth hour, so that the morning had four hours of classes, and the afternoon had three. I note this, because some schools separate lunches based on fourth hour, so that there is an A, B, and C lunch. I...did not feel like dealing with that, and I wasn’t sure how French schools do it but I doubt it’s like that.) 
Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s schedule: 
1. History (right next to Félix, later on stuck between him and Adrien) The original plan never had Adrien’s arrival, it was supposed to be a moment of comic relief where Marinette and Félix were just kind of half awake and barely conscious at any given time during first hour. This is why their history teacher, Mr. Marcel, was either wide awake or dead asleep. I thought it’d be a cute moment to show off the dynamics of their exhaustion or energy, depending on the day. I didn’t show this off nearly as much as planned, however, because I shifted my focus soon after.
2. Language Arts (with Allegra). A nice, calmer class seemed perfect for Marinette, who’d probably still be waking up. Allegra is calm and classy, so it only made sense to pair the two up for the second hour.
3. Science (Claude’s here!) Loud and exciting, just like their class seems to be, it was a perfect pairing. 
4. Math (with Allegra and Claude) I wanted to show off Allegra and Claude’s...chaotic dynamic. 
5. English (with Allan) Marinette wants to be a fashion designer, and she had to take a language, so she thought “hey, fashion is pretty big in America, let’s learn English”. (It was also the only class I could think of that she and Allan would take...more on that later.)
6. Fashion Design. Pretty self-explanatory.
Allegra: 
1. German. Allegra likes opera music, and wanted to mimic the sound of some German singers accurately. 
2. Language Arts (with Marinette, as mentioned above)
3. Science (a different teacher than Marinette and Claude, though. What a pity) (Also I apparently called it ‘physics’ in my notes and I just noticed.) 
4. Math (With Marinette and Claude)
5. History
6. Choir (She’s a singer.)
Claude Mercury:
1. English (It was for the theatre, but also for Shakespeare, but more accurately….for Shakespeare’s more inappropriate humor.) (and memes)
2. History
3. Science (with Marinette) (Lots of explosions and fires were planned)
4. Math (With Allegra and Marinette) 
5. Language Arts
6. Drama. He was just a simple thespian lad who wanted to have fun and make friends, what can I say?
Allan:
1. Math
2. Science
3. Language Arts
4. History
5. English (with Marinette) He likes hip hop and rap, and wanted to learn English rap, too. He, like Claude, also loves their memes, and I planned to have a few moments where he explained some to Marinette. 
6. Dance. Mainly hip hop, although the boy can break dance a little bit
Félix Agreste: 
1. History (with Marinette) He’s tired in the morning, but good at reciting dates. Again, had a lot more planned for this.
2. Math
3. Spanish. (“Come on, guys, it’s logical. It’s one of the most spoken languages in the world.” -Félix, probably.) I also planned for Félix to already know English. I wanted a cute chapter where he tutored Marinette, only for Claude to start dramatically monologuing because ‘why do you help her but never help me? The betrayal, Fe, the betrayal!’ 
4. Language Arts
5. Science
6. Music (he’s a piano boy in my heart) (maybe also good at violin) (a classy young man) 
Adrien Agreste:
1. History (with Marinette)
2. Language Arts (with Marinette)
3. Science (with Marinette)
4. Math (with Marinette)
5. Chinese (with Marin- oh, wait, we’re done with that!) This class, along with his next, is another reason Adrien relaxed so quickly at the school. By taking Chinese at school, he was able to convince his father to stop the at-home lessons, clearing up some of his schedule.
6. Music. Same as above, playing piano at school meant he didn’t have to do it at home so much.
The Heroes:
“But salthaven, you already introduced the heroes! Envision and Viperion, remember?” Haha, as if those were the only guys I had planned?
Yeah, I had more. Four more.
I wanted the Quantic Kids to be heroes. I had three of them for sure chosen, names and Miraculi assigned to them. (Allegra was my only problem child, but I’ll explain that below.)
The first was supposed to be Allegra. I was going to make her the Fox, with the name Mélodie. I’m pretty sure that was her original hero name, back during the PV stage of this show, and I wanted to pay an homage to her inspiration. But then Félix got it, because I didn’t end up giving him the Cat (yeah, I was really salty when I started this, and I was planning to go the same route that I do in my ao3 fic, Of Patience and Pettiness, and take away the Cat from Adrien to give to Félix.), as Adrien learned from his mistakes. So Allegra waits, and Envision springs to life with Viperion.
Next would be Allan. Miraculous: Bee. Name: Mellifury, based on Mellifura (aka the Africanized Killer Bee) + Fury. He was supposed to be an unexpected storm. A dancer, he uses rhythm in a way that throws off opponents. Uses the spinning top like it's another limb, throws the game way off when first introduced. 
Then we’d have Allegra. After a while, I decided that the Rabbit would be best suited for her. Messing with timelines is a tricky business, but Allegra has a knack for details and organization that would leave her cruising through her tasks with some practice. While it’s nothing musical, it would be fun to see. Name: Cottontail. 
Finally, after an interesting fight that would cause Nathalie to lose the Peacock...Claude would step in. Bold and flashy, the thespian knows how to strut his stuff. But again, he’s a thespian, and theatre kids know when it’s time to hide in the shadows and stay unseen and unheard. With dark blues that can hide in the name and stand out in the daylight, Claude would become Le Paon, turning the tide and becoming a major help for the team. [At first, he dealt with some sickness, but after a talk with Ladybug, who in turn talked to Fu, the Miraculous was fixed and Le Paon could fight as easily as the rest.] He’d use sentimentals wisely, although he’d have a bad habit of monologuing as he created them. 
The Ships:
The moment we’ve all been waiting for. Our first question: Who the hell was Marinette going to end up with? Well, that answer changed throughout the story.
The first choice: Félix. I wanted Marinette to move on from Agreste...and fall in love with Agreste. It humored me, and I was in love with a bunch of Felinette one shots at the time. (And, again, very salty towards Adrien at the moment.) 
But then I redeemed Adrien. No problem, I thought. Marinette could choose between one of the boys...and the other would date Luka! (I mean, did you see the Instagram picture of Luka and Adrien. Luka with either Agreste would be cute, just imagine the musical moments they could have together)
But then I Akumatized Juleka, and Luka was right there...and I made Marinette fall for all three guys. So I decided “Hey, she can just date all three!” And so that’s the final choice, because I’m apparently a sucker for poly ships. 
But I mentioned other ships, didn’t I? So let’s talk about those!
First: Luka with an OC. Yep, I was going to bring in a new girl. It was actually going to be one of my friends, due to a conversation we had that went as follows:
S.H. (Salthaven): So I’m thinking that I’m going to pair up Félix and Marinette. Thoughts?
F. (Friend): Okay, but what about Luka?
S.H.:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
F.: Well then pair me up with him!
So I did. Or I was going to...but then poly ship idea happened. 
As mentioned above, I also considered Luka with either of the Agreste boys. Whoever Marinette didn’t date. Again, couldn’t happen because I went for that sweet poly route. 
Finally: Claude and Allegra. What can I say, they act like an old married couple in my mind!
And that’s everything! Once all the heroes were chosen, and romantic confessions set aside, the Miraculous Team was going to gear up and take down Hawkmoth once and for all. Fun times, the end, we all get a happy ending.
So I hope that makes up for my rather abrupt end to this story. Thank you all for the time you put in, reading my writings, and I hope you enjoy the other works I plan to create! Until next time. <3
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weirdponytail · 4 years
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MIC!Arya and the Infamous Tarnag Temple Argument in IC Canon (AKA Modern Inheritance’s Take on Trauma, Religion, and Arya F***ing Apologizing)
Everyone gives Canon!Arya shit for the scene in the books where she gives Gannel shit in his own temple for having religion. I agree that it’s a bad moment for her character. I also feel it comes out of left field for Arya’s character up to that point but I’ll get smacked from here to the core mantle boundary for that by some of the fandom. I digress. This is very much not about my feelings on the canon version.
Let’s move on to how it might go for my Modern Inheritance!Arya and my version of events. 
A lot of what I write about in MIC is trauma related. Arya’s one of the easiest characters for me to write for in that regard for obvious reasons, and because I’ve shaped my mental picture of her over the years so she’s the one I have the most practice with. Please note that usually when I go to bat for Arya I tend to get my MIC version of her muddled in with canon, so I apologize for any sharp words, brow beating, etc. Anyway...what was I talking about? OH RIGHT, TRAUMA AND THAT WHOLE TARNAG THING. 
So just to further stress, this is Modern Inheritance/MIC right now. 
Arya’s coming off from a hell of a time. You don’t exactly process deaths of loved ones very well while being tortured, and while she’s juggling all that plus two near death experiences that occurred probably within a week of each other, Eragon nearly dying and his back spasms, the guy that tortured her and killed her best friend and her mate is dead but she didn’t get to have a swing at him, mentally preparing to face her queen/mother, the ‘a whole clan now wants to murder Saphira and Eragon’ situation, civil unrest in the city they’re in, just Brom being Brom, physical stresses from the whole *waves hands at previous paragraph*, she’s suddenly reminded that hey...the dwarves and humans have something that elves don’t. 
What’s that? Religion. And what usually comes with a religion? 
The concept of an afterlife. The general idea that when someone dies they have not really left. The comfort that if you pray, meditate, visit a grave, do something special to you/your faith then you can make a connection to your lost loved ones and friends. The promise that even though they’ve left this world, they’re still looking out for you. And one day you’ll see them again. The separation is only brief. 
And damn. Right then, that hurts for Arya. It’s like being kicked while you’re down. 
TMI and on but off topic: My mother died when I was 12. She had a progressive neural disease which pretty much destroyed her mentally and physically over the course of a year or so. During that year, there were a bunch of ‘spiritual’ people coming over. Not mainstream religion types, but still. 
I hated them with a passion. I hated them, the stuff they said about any type of afterlife or spirituality, prayer, the idea that the dead were not all gone, I fucking HATED that bumper sticker that says ‘if anything can go well, it will’ because ho BOY did that say something for the shit I was seeing and going through at the time. 
I had been agnostic bordering on atheist before but this was the nail in it for me. After mom finally died I was a real sourpuss/snarky little shit whenever religion came up. I insulted every religion any time it came up. I shut down anything having to do with my mom ‘watching over me’ or ‘being with me/us in spirit.’ 
It took me years to understand it. I was angry because I couldn’t bring myself to believe that after all the shit I saw, the pain my dad went through, that I went through, and the whole year of watching a bright, loving, intelligent woman that was my whole world turn to a fully paralyzed drooling mess with mood swings and no voice besides a pained moan...that there was any sort of god or spiritual energy or other bullshit out there. Because then why would it happen? And why to her? People say that ‘well if there is a god then why does war/famine/assault/torture/disease/etc. happen?’ but when it happens to you, and you were already teetering on the edge of ‘does it or does it not, maybe there is something out there…’ it’s like being smacked in the face with a shovel. 
I’ve got nothing against religion now, as long as it isn’t toxic or manipulative, etc. But I can see where Arya would be coming from. 
Because deep down, Arya sees what the dwarves have. This comfort in thinking that the dead aren’t all gone, and that all it takes is reaching out to them to share thoughts and feelings, and that you’ll see them again. 
And she wants that too. She wants it so badly. She envies their ability to think that way, to simply have faith in what they cannot see. She wants to talk to Fäolin and Glenwing (who is still alive in MIC but at this point she doesn’t know that) again, she wants to tell them that she misses them and that Eragon and Saphira exist and their deaths weren’t for nothing and tell them all the things unsaid...but no matter how much she wants to, she can’t get past everything thats happened in the past 6+ months and her own cultural beliefs. 
It hurts. She can’t think of anything else to say past the hurt and so she lashes out like I did. She doesn’t understand why really, but knows that religion and afterlives and all of it just make her...angry. Because what else could that cold rock in her chest be?
In MIC, Arya is not as stubborn when it comes to atheism or other cultures. Before the ambush, she frequently asked questions about the dwarvish religion, not exactly realizing that her questions could be considered more of ‘you dare question the faith’ than ‘so wait what if this happens? Do you still get to go to the afterlife? But what about when you feel a mind die? Where does it go?’ innocent type questions that come from curiosity. She still has the feeling that the money donated to religions could go to better places, but also realizes that sometimes the religions actually send said donations TO those places/the needy, and that structures/art/etc that were built long ago do kinda need upkeep. So instead of being a dick about it, when the dwarves at the temple bluntly tell her ‘would you shut up and leave already we don’t want to answer your questions’ she adds a cheeky ‘sure I’ll go as long as you donate to the Varden’s current fundraiser’ and goes on her way when they agree to donate.
But Arya still blatantly crosses a line by confronting Gannel rather sharply about her newfound feelings on religion while Eragon is there. She’s been following them as Eragon’s bodyguard (why the HELL did canon!Arya leave Eragon alone, even in a temple full of warrior monks, wheN A WHOLE CLAN WAS TRYING TO KILL HIM?!)  and she doesn’t even realize that she’s said anything until Eragon looks back at her like ‘ooooh nooooooOO ARYA WHAT THE HELL?! WAS THAT?!’ and she sees that the back of Gannel’s head is turning purple with rage. 
Eragon manages to extricate himself from it all and meet up with Saphira, and after a rather...heated...uh…”discussion,” Gannel finally flames that while Arya’s questions before pushed the limit, this was beyond unacceptable and asks what the fuck is wrong with her. Arya just storms out.
Arya comes back to the temple later that night, asks for Gannel, and pretty much kneels down and puts her forehead on the floor in front of him (MIC elves do this only when they realize they REALLY fucked up and use this stance as an open way of saying that they fucked up, apologize, and will accept the consequences) with a sincere apology for her earlier conduct. Honestly, her ear is still red from where Brom had twisted it when he caught wind of what she had done, but she’s not apologizing just because of that. 
She wants to learn how to pray. 
Not to a god or spirit, but how to talk to the ones she’s lost. The idea of religion giving a false sense of hope still hurts and angers her...but she’s realized that maybe there’s a reason why it can bring comfort. 
Gannel awkwardly explains that a way to get started is to simply speak aloud, as if talking to someone that isn’t there. When he realizes Arya isn’t pulling his leg or going to go off on him again, he decides to give her the ‘how to talk to dead people’ primer course over some mead and does his best to keep the more hard religion stuff out of it. As a priest/monk, he’s used to consoling people who have lost family and loved ones. He can pick up the signs easily enough...when the person isn’t ready to punch a hole in his fancy history wall. 
As she leaves, Arya apologizes again. 
And prods Gannel to donate to the Varden’s current fundraiser. 
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The Snake in the Garden
Pairing: Modern!Obyern Martell x Modern!OC (Aliana Tyrell)
Warnings: Smut
A/N: This is a birthday gift for the amazing, loving, beautful @romanticgumchewer .  She has written a beautiful Oberyn fic called Reasons Wicked and Divine and lately, has been writing head canons about a modern version of both.  So, I decided to add to her little AU universe with a little something of my own.  Happy birthday, Ro!
Reminder: I ain’t ever seen Pedro Pascal in FUCK ALL, I’m just coming up with this as I go along, using imdb.com, wiki, and 84,000 tabs I got open to plan out this shit.  I also write soft versions of his characters so if you’re craving asshole vibes, I ain’t got any but my own to offer.
Tag List:
@zeldasayer , @romanticgumchewer, @beskarss , @coolmaybelateruniverse , @the-feckless-wonder , @pascalisthepunkest , @mandoandyodito​ , @randomness501 , @fioccodineveautunnale  [please message me to be added or subtracted]
—***—
“Oberyn!”  Aliana’s voice carried through the first floor of the house as she turned to shut the door.  But when she was met with silence, she stopped.  By now she could hear his voice calling back to her while the dogs nearly collided against her knees in fit of exuberance.  But she stood alone in the foyer, the quiet enveloping her.  Huh.
She began to wander through the house, the sunlight pouring through the windows and bathing the large rooms of her Chappaqua home in a golden haze. As she rounded the couch, a slash of color against the dark floors caught her eye.  She bent to pick it up, noting the teal daisy wasn’t from any of her floral shops.  As she stood, another flash of color caught her eye in the dining room, this one a golden color.  
Soon she found herself frog hopping across the first floor, picking up vividly colored daisies until she held an entire bouquet of them.  She found herself back in the foyer, circling around to see she could find more to add to the veritable rainbow in her hand.  That’s when a beautiful lavender seemed to materialize out of the corner of her eye and she turned, curious.
Aliana was certain that flower hadn’t been on the stairs before, but there it was.  As she climbed the stairs, she saw another and then another and before she knew it, she found herself at the door to the master bedroom.  She began to grin, a shiver running through her belly and settling itself between his legs.  He was home after all.
Oberyn leaned against the headboard, smiling to himself as he heard her heels stop outside the door.  He had tiptoed through the house dropping the flowers like a sneaky Hansel until it led her to the room.  The door slowly opened, and his smile became a face-splitting grin when he saw her eyes widen like saucers.
The entire room was covered in the vibrant daisies as if a fairy-like forest has sprung up in the room.  Aliana slowly wanted into the space, looking around before her eyes settled on the man before her.  He lounged in bed, his orange linen pants hanging off his hips almost roguishly and his white button down complexly open.  The tawny skin beneath amplified the throb between her thighs, and she sauntered over to the table, where an empty vase waited for her bouquet.
She brushed a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear as she fluffed the group of flowers, stretching out the silence until he broke.  He always broke first when it came to her, as if he couldn’t keep his passionate love for her inside.  That it must be said so the whole world know that Aliana Tyrell was his and only his.
As if right on cue, she heard the bed shift and within two strides, he was behind her, his heat radiating off him and seeping into her bones.  She closed her eyes as she leaned back into his chest, letting her head drop to his shoulder.  His hands dropped to her hips and she covered them with her own, the delicacy of her fingers evident against his large ones.  Fingers that have brought her to pleasure time and time again.
“Hello my thorn.”  His breath whispered like a hot desert wind across her skin before his lips brushed against her.  The shivers that had started behind the door were now coursing through her, ripples of pleasure that wetted her thighs and hardened her nipples.  Oberyn continued to kiss lightly across her neck and jaw as one of his hands moved from his hip to her stomach.
“Don’t tease, Oberyn” Aliana hummed as she raised a hand from his wrist and threaded her fingers into his soft hair, the brown locks longer than he normally sported.  She tightened her grip and he groaned, the pleasure sending shockwaves through his body. “You know I don’t like it when you tease me.”
“A little eager my thorn?”  His words danced against her ear before his tongue joined in, pulling a shaky sigh from her.  His smugness was wiped away when her other hand dropped between them and gripped at his aching cock.  “Aliana!”
She smiled as she gripped a little hard, moving her hand just enough to let the silk of his boxers create just enough friction to tease him but offer no relief.    He groaned heavily as he dropped his forehead against her shoulder.  Even this light of a touch made his toes curl into the soft carpet and his even breaths turn into gasping pants.
“No more eager than you, viper.”  The tone was a teasing one as Aliana continued to move her hand just enough to keep the curls of pleasure coursing through him.  She smiled when she felt his hips moving and she wondered if she realized it himself.  She was so sensitive at the moment, that she could almost feel his pleasure within her. Of course, she’d rather have it in her.
He must have though the same thing because suddenly he knocked away her hand and spun her around.  The brown eyes that were normally so soft were pitch black and blazing with lust, matching her own blue eyes which had also gone dark.  As they looked at each other, he grasped her shirt and yanked it open.
“Obyern!”  She yelped before beginning to laugh, shaking the ruined top down her shoulders and to the floor.  She noticed he had discarded his shirt on the bed and his skin was so inviting that she raised her hands to drag them down his chest.  His eyes closed briefly before opening again.  His own hands came up to her bra, flicking open the front clasp. Her breasts spilled out; the silky fabric caught on her hardened nipples.
Suddenly he grabbed her waist and lifted her up, so she sat on the table, legs splayed wide enough that he could see the scrap of silk she called panties so wet, they molded to her core.  The skirt bunched up around her waist as he widened her thighs so he could step between them. She could feel his throbbing erection against her, and she bucked her hips, eliciting a groan from him as he bent his head to kiss her properly.
“My thorn, I can’t wait.  I need you now.”
“Then fuck me, viper.  Make me come.”
Oberyn didn’t need to be told twice as he reached between them to hook the soaked cloth to the side.  As he did that, Aliana pulled at his pants, smirking when she realized he had been going commando underneath.  His heavy cock sprung out, shiny with his pre-come.  She grabbed him again, smoothing the liquid down the length of him before guiding him to her.
They were both so ready that he filled her easily with one thrust and she dipped her head back as she cried out.  Everything about her was heightened and she could feel every ridge of his cock against her as he thrust into her.  She brought her legs up and wrapped them around his waist, while propping herself up with one arm behind her.  The other grabbed at his hair, fisting the strands as if they could anchor her.
Oberyn laid his hands on her hips and drove into her over and over, their pleasure building rapidly.  He dipped his forehead against hers, locking eyes with her.  Behind the lust that had blown out her pupils was the shimmering of the love she had for him.  It excited him to know that every man that she had fucked, that she had been married to saw that love that was never for them and only for him.
The grip she had on his hair tightened further as she felt her climax began to spiral towards its bursting point.  He fucked her harder, determined to make her come until she couldn’t think of anything but his cock in her cunt.  Suddenly, he brushed against her exactly right and the scream she let out as she reached her apex and burst under his touch.
As she clamped down on him, he felt his own climax shatter through him and he trusted once more, letting himself come in her, until she wrung every drop from him.  He dropped his head back to her shoulder, panting heavily as she dropped kisses along his neck and shoulder.  Soon their breathing returned to normal and he withdrew from her, both silently mourning the loss of connection.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her off the table to carry her to the bed.
After she was situated against the soft pillows, he wandered into the bathroom and brought back a washcloth to clean her with.  He removed the rest of their clothing and crawled into bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her.  They laid together for a long time, the sun shifting until the bedroom was bathed in its early evening light.
Soon, Aliana sat upright and reached over for one of the vases of flowers next to the bed.  She placed it between her legs, shivering as the cold glass touched her skin.  Pulling out the reds and the yellows, she began to weave together a flower crown.  Oberyn turned to his side and propped his head in hand as watched her deft fingers work, always in awe of her ability.  When it was complete, she placed it on his head with a peck of her lips against his forehead.
He smiled as she made another one, picking out blues and yellows for herself, but his smile dropped as she pulled out more flower and made a third crown. When she was done, she placed the vase back on the nightstand and gently sat back, laying the new crown on her stomach.
“Who is that for, my thorn?”  She looked over at him and grinned.
“For our baby, my viper.”
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nicollekidman · 4 years
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abby can you talk on how deancas and tenrose are the same?
okay so i need to preface this with the usual…. cannot believe i am enlightened enough to be seriously discussing this in the year 2020, but i’m happy for my teen self. also there is about to be a lot of unhinged earnestness to follow, so if you’re easily succebtable to cringe… don’t read on. ALSO RIP I WROTE 1800 WORDS about just the most general and nonspecific concepts…… brb k wording myself 
first off i think it’s so funny that i just went back and looked and i typed cas/ten as a one and dean/rose as a six completely independently so… that’s where my head is at. 
i think the meat of the issue is the way that tenrose and deancas function both in relation to the overall narrative and each other. there are many differences of course, but at the end of the day, both relationships are positioned as the ultimate working example of what their shows are trying to be About. 
i could write an entirely separate essay on the intersections between cas and the doctor, but essentially…… these are figures introduced to the audience as Beyond Human Understanding. they exist as celestial beings unconstrained by the rules of space and time, more closely connected to god than humanity. we meet the doctor farther along in his journey than castiel, but both of their character arcs are rooted in a Godlike Creature observing humanity and becoming enamored with it/driven to protect and care for it. by the time the doctor meets rose, it is well established that he has a soft spot for humanity, she’s not the one who teaches him that. but she is the one he reaches out to and leans on for support and healing post-time war, and she is the one who influences ten’s regeneration so deeply that he is made in her image/for her. castiel rebuilds dean atom by atom is hell, and upon rescuing him from the pit, finds himself similarly irrevocably altered. it is revealed to us that castiel also has had a long affection for humanity, but nothing swayed him from his ultimate duty before he met dean. and just as the doctor finds himself with a family for the first time after gallifrey with rose and her mother on the estate, castiel finds himself cut off from his family/realm, but with a new family, team free will. they lose everything, their attachment to the heavens, and find a new family and a new reason to continue, in these humans. 
dean and rose also are the ultimate Human Credentials. we all know this term to be indicative of someone who confers humanity onto the other, someone who, by mere accompaniment, allows their beloved to more safely/easily navigate life. and it’s true in this sense. rose is constantly reminding ten how to Be Human (”am i being rude?”) in both big and small ways, just as dean more or less badgers castiel in the same way ( “dude. we talked about this”). neither cas nor ten would be as intimately connected with their “human sides” with their partners. but dean and rose are also Human Credentials in a broader sense, in that….. they act as character references for the rest of humanity, and by virtue of their own selves/their partner’s attachment to them, guarantee investment in the rest of the human race. castiel is more-or-less content to watch from heaven and take orders until he rescues dean and becomes involved with his life (”the moment castiel laid a hand on you in hell he was lost”). his love and affection for dean and his willingness to bend everything to keep him safe means that castiel learns to defy heaven for the good of humanity. ten has always loved humans, but he loves rose a little differently. The Doctor Needs Someone, and we see rose’s power as his human credential most strongly when she’s gone. Without rose, ten is more willing to put himself/others in danger, to make choices that will result in death, to be callous and reckless and thoughtless. rose’s presence is a constant reminder that humanity is Worth the Trouble, that he’s never met anyone who wasn’t important. 
for rose and dean…. these are two, completely Normal, Average People. or so they think anyways. the burdens they carry and their inner lives are very different, but in very simple ways, they both would’ve continued their lives believing there was nothing special about them, getting up to Do Their Duty, never asking for anything special. both view themselves are caretakers, although this manifests differently bc rose is a bratty 19 year old and dean never got the opportunity to be a teenager. but both Feel Deeply in ways/levels that others don’t. each has an extremely open heart and a need to protect/provide for the little people. what ten and cas give them is an entirely new perspective, whereupon it starts to be possible to believe that even the smallest person can affect the world for better, and that they, specifically Deserve More. 
THEN we have the ideas of religion/free will/fate that intertwine both shows. rtd’s doctor who was explicitly and obviously written with the intent to show an atheist universe where the human spirit and mind are enough on their own to be holy, to determine right and wrong, and to decide the events of the universe. obviously ten is often situated in christ-like positions, but he learns from humanity as much as they teach him. supernatural is a little more complicated, with an alternate vision of accepted figures of christianity, but both shows heavily emphasize the power of human kindness, passion, empathy, and individual choice. ten may not live within the confines of space and time, but apocalypses in doctor who often hinge on one small person doing The Next Right Thing, just as supernatural’s base credo is We’re Writing a New Chapter. castiel bursts onto the scene and is literally taught the importance of free will by dean, and perhaps even the importance of his own desires/needs by dean. both core relationships exemplify what it means to make choices outside the realm of fate (even whilst allowing for the existence of soulmates). yes, castiel was ordered to raise dean from perdition, but their human connection is what allows the winchesters to subvert God and move outside the printed narrative - love for a human is what makes an angel CHOOSE to fall from heaven. and ten…. well ten knows that rose is going to die. ten understands from the moment he allows himself to care for her above all others, that he is dooming himself to pain and regret and loss. but he decides to do it anyways, because isn’t the best thing an otherwordly being in love with humanity can do is to eperience love and loss on a human level? both cas and ten understand that there is no love without pain, that they will be the ones to watch their beloveds leave them, but that the Choice to love out of free will is worth it. 
there’s also the element of Expression/Repression. here is where the underlying emotion remains similar but the freedom of how exactly to illustrate these feelings could not be more different. tenrose is a heterosexual relationship at the end of the day, and their storylines require them to be alone in each other’s presence nearly 100% of the time. thus, we get LOTS of familiar touching, lots of body language and casual intimacy and teasing. dean and cas…. lol. not so much. instead of physicality, we get looks, both because of dean’s own upbringing/sexuality and because they exist on the show that they do. deancas deals in the unspoken - the acts of service, the grace healings, the tense moments of battle, the lack of personal space. the expression is different, but the emotion is the same. ten and dean hold themselves back from the more Obvious open-book partners, for their own personal reasons. the end effect being that everyone on screen understands/insinuates what’s happening, and their relationship is so thick with subtext its a wonder no one suffocates. Words are seen as the ultimate step, once which cannot be overcome in normal life. both pairs use death/separation as the final step towards full transparency, but even then we are never granted the ultimate catharsis of an I Love You. castiel couches his confessions in generalizations towards groups, and dean swallows his truth even in prayer. rose says the words through a veil of uncrossable distance, but she doesn’t get to hear them back. they can Know, and we can Understand, but we cannot hear it. 
lastly (for now)…. and perhaps as an ultimate summation…….. death and parallel universes and fate cannot stop them, those who are drawn to each other through heaven and hell, through time and realities. it is to be understood that will all four individuals fight to ensure that each human being is safe, protected, and able to make their own choices they are soulmates. they are soulmates who are bound to each other to be sure, but they’re not Fated in a way that takes away their free will. they’re fated by the series of choices they make, over and over again, to prioritize each other, to traverse time and space and dimension and hell to get back to one another. god cannot see castiel in his plans for the world, and yet castiel has evaded death again and again, to give dean a win. nothing could tear rose away from her doctor, and even while trapped in another dimmension, she hears his voice, she runs to him, and she finds a way to get back to him. each and every choice they make brings them back to one another, regardless of the ultimate ending. we don’t know yet if we will ever hear castiel and dean get their doomsday moment, but we do know that in order for castiel to leave dean’s side, an entirely new dimmension (the empty) will have to be in play to keep them apart. 
ultimately, castiel and ten are both celestial beings with self-worth issues but a burning and true desire to see humanity thrive, directly and indirectly because of their attachment to dean and rose. dean and rose make castiel and ten more human, all while exemplifying why human is a good thing to be. dean and rose become more themselves under cas and ten’s influence, both are given more opportunity to bloom into who they are meant to be. all four become More in the presence of each other, and save the world while doing it. ultimately there is a heavy dose of tragedy in both - whether or not dean and cas get their moment is yet to be seen, but these are still Soulmates with differing relationships to mortality. but is there anything sweeter than defying god’s and fate and our own doubts to grab love with both hands, even when we know there will be pain? 
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theanimeview · 5 years
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The Obelian Royal Family and Magic
This is a topic I’m revisiting after my first theory about the royal family’s magic was shown to be dismally wrong (I said that it might be light and black magic in my post, The Obelian Royal Family: The Heir).
But what is their magic? 
Well, let’s review what we know so far: 
1. Strong magicians are said to “freeze” their hearts because emotions can cause them to lose control of their magic. We see the image of a pink glowing crystal heart when this is revealed, implying that by “heart” they mean their emotions, not the bodily organ. 
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2. There is a Magic World Tree (I think the name is the world tree, but I’m not sure) and in Chapter 54 we see that it can provide magic to people via its fruit (Lucas hopes to use it to replenish his magical core). It is also deeply rooted (pun intended) into the nature of Athanasia's world, as random storms can be caused by interacting violently with the tree (another thing we learn through Lucas). It may also have a sort of consciousness as it sweats chibi-tear drops when Lucas threatens it. 
3. Everybody has some magic in them, but the royal family is extremely powerful in that respect and displays specific physical characteristics as a result (the jewel eyes). Oh! Interesting note--Claude, despite still being very magically powerful, seems to be slowly losing the jewel feature to his eyes as chapters continue. At least, I've seen a stronger mix of a simpler gradient to his eyes the longer the series goes on with it being most evident after giving Athanasia his magic. 
4. Black magic refers strictly to curses thus far. Everything that has been used by or made with black magic has thus far resulted in, or been hinted to resolve in the future with, extremely bad consequences on the intended and the originator. Jeannette, having been created by black magic, is a ticking time-bomb from what we understand (though the person revealing this information may not be reliable). The old book shop owner claims that a being like Jennette’s existence will lead to something terrible and Lucas believes her to be a homunculus, which is a term yet to be clarified by the series but given context is probably a “humanoid creature” rather than a human itself. (Note: In other translations, Lucas refers to Jennette as a something like a, or part, chimera, which is more of a monster.)
That's about all we really know. 
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In theory, the more refined the magic is the cleaner and less noticeable it appears, rather the more integrated it looks. For example, Lucas’ magic is very natural to him. He uses it with ease and manipulates the world around him comfortably.  With Claude too, we see very gentle magic as he passes memories to Athanasia making them appear like dreams to her rather than intentional magical influence. Heck, until Claude started physically attacking Athanasia in chapter 53/54 we never even saw the protection spell upon her, meaning that it is well hidden from the eye. Moreover, day to day magic appears rarely in the work so we can probably assume that despite being present in almost all people it is either rarely used or used in very small situations like moving objects or protection or something that is mundane enough not to gather Athanasia’s attention. (Sort of like how characters in current comics will rarely comment on the wonders of a cellphone--while older ones might show a group surprised that their friend has one. It becomes natural and therefore uneventful to mention. Since she mentions everyone having it once, and we rarely see people besides Lucas use it, if ever, we can make that assumption.) However, Athanasia’s magic is newly stabilized and, to our knowledge, appears unskilled. Moreover, in this unskilled and newly stabilized state, her magic seems to be very active and raw. When we see it, it is only in extremely emotional situations and like a force of nature, such as the electricity when the guards move to take her outside or the whirlwind when she escapes Claude in Chapter 54. 
I write “unskilled” because these magical attempts look very raw, matching the emotional state she’s in and because she is using natural elements, like the whirlwind, to perform her escape rather than the refined teleporting we see from Lucas. I think also that unlike almost every other subject Athanasia has studied or had lessons for, she has never been taught magic. I have a few points to reason this:
Firstly, her magic was really unstable in the beginning. Lucas mentioned separation from her spirit animal to avoid transferring the magic in said animal back to her body because it was so detrimental to her health. One might think then that spending that magic would help relieve her of the problem, but given how unsteady emotions are that a young age and how we are told early on that magic can be dangerous if passion overtakes reason, she might have been kept from doing so. 
Second, it's never a lesson Claude seems to require of her. As we have all read, when something arrises like Athanasia nearly drowning or her having trouble cutting a steak, Claude assigns her lessons and tutors. In the two examples I gave, Claude had her learn swimming and then etiquette. She might even be a semi-skilled martial artist, given that Claude mentioned it before. We know she has some teachers, she mentions them once as a child, after showing Lily and the maids she could read, and mentions them again with Claude (her dancing instructor, for example). However, since she doesn’t mention it once or hint to it, I assume she hasn’t had any training with magic yet. More than likely, Claude and Lucas were waiting until Athanasia was older with a stable magical core before attempting lessons in the subject. 
Third, everyone in the hall at Claude’s birthday celebration appeared surprised by Athanasia’s magic. I doubt they were surprised that she had magic, I mean her eyes and bloodline tell us a lot, but they might be surprised at her lack of control or use in that particular moment. (Like, they might think, ‘The Emporer nearly executed you and you’re going to use magic against him?!’ or maybe it was more like, ‘Oh no, she’s an emotional teenager who potentially has a lot of magic and could kill us all!’) While rumors were kept low with Athanasia’s isolation from the court, surely a magical tutor would have been mentioned or theorized or asked about by Athanasia’s young lady friends if there had been one, right? Or the author(s) would have mentioned it? I mean, unless they’re going with the “don’t explain the magic” mentality... but who knows for sure?
Since Athanasia’s use of magic is so new to the story, we can’t say for certain that this is correct, but that’s the theory I’ve held recently. The particular magic of the Obelian Royal Family relates to control over natural elements. 
If everyone has magic, and we know some semblance of its usage, like passing memories, picture taking, applying images to stones (it's mentioned in an earlier chapter) and putting emotions into stones. We can assume that these uses are things a man can make in other ways but don’t because of magic. Using the same examples I just mentioned, the man-made equivalent might be like taking pictures, films, money production, etc. But control over nature is an entirely different element, which we do see with both Claude (in the alternate timeline/story of the Lovely Princess) and Athanasia.
Claude, for example, in the alternate timeline/story of the Lovely Princess, is seen collapsed before Jennette while a storm is raging outside. In point two I mentioned how the tree can cause freak weather disasters so maybe Lucas is the culprit here too, but I doubt it. Since Claude is normally very composed, even when angry, it would make sense that in moments like that he starts losing control in other ways. We see a nature element again with the present timeline as Claude attacks Athanasia in chapter 53, starting off with a few bolts of electricity. No one else in the series, even Lucas, shows this (though Lucas has many other cool magical abilities). 
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That electricity is like a more angry version of what Athanasia does during the birthday party. 
To conclude, my theory is that the Obelian Royal Family’s specific magic is one which controls elements of nature. In addition to that, I theorize that the more control a person has over their magic, the more the magic will integrate and appear natural in the world around them. 
What do you all think? 
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izumisays · 4 years
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dear yuletide author
Thank you so much for reading this and taking part in this wonderful annual conspiracy!

First of all, I hope you have a lovely time! If any of the fandoms below pique your interest, I’m delighted already, and ready to hear all the stories you want to tell.
Fandoms:  Chihayafuru, Nirvana in Fire, Thunderbolt Fantasy
As for reading preferences, I’m happy with a wide variety of tones and genres, of any rating, ranging anywhere from lighthearted antics to dramatic casefics. But the core of all the stories I love has always been character interaction and interplay of their competences.
How the characters play off each other and bring out their best/worst, how they’d react to a divergence of events, how true they’d stay to themselves in a different setting – I love fanfiction for allowing us to reconnect with our favourite stories time and again by asking these questions. And there are so many ways to do it! To name a few favourites, I’m always game for POV hijinks, a missing scene, a casefic, canon expansion, backstories and what-ifs.
You may notice that quite a few of my requests lean towards shipfic – those, too, are welcome in a variety of tones – but I also tried to include openings for gen ideas if that’s your jam. Additionally, while it is not usually my top interest, I don’t have anything against AUs if there is something that you are itching to explore: I tend to enjoy them for a new aesthetic that fleshes out the favoured character dynamics in a new light, or a fusion that redefines the playing ground to allow the characters to exhibit their core competences in new and exciting ways.
I would be very grateful if you could avoid a/b/o and similar kinktropes, played-straight soulmate fic, and character interpretation that runs contrary to their core values. If in doubt, please reach out to me on anon - the askbox is open!
CHIHAYAFURU: Mashima Taichi, Wataya Arata, Suou Hisashi
You don’t have to include all three characters, but I’d love to see a fic that explores the connections between them better. I’m up to date with all manga scanlations.
Wataya Arata/ Mashima Taichi
In the immortal words of Henjin Meijin, Arata is that person for Taichi whose opinion makes or breaks him. (His wording may have been different, but if I go rummaging into the chapter archive to find the exact quote, I’ll end up binge-rereading year three into the night again, and then where would my Yule sign-up be?) (On that note, what kind of a MASSIVE LOSER waxes poetics about Taichi’s boyfriend problems to Taichi’s MOTHER, whom he JUST met? Suou Hisashi, that’s who.) Needless to say, that paramount opinion was not always great, and neither was Taichi’s general wellbeing.
Good news is, Arata is confident in his manliness, and he has no problem acknowledging Taichi’s ridiculously pretty and not too bad at karuta these days, and he’s also moving to Tokyo. Taichi’s definitely pretty and has an apartment in Tokyo, where a country bumpkin of paramount importance may possibly stay over until things are sorted out… eventually. Hint hint.
Jokes aside, I pine for the dynamics between the two of them. I nearly lost it, reading the Meijin semifinals — and if you can show me a person who saw them bawl as they crawled into each other’s laps on Japanese national television and didn’t bawl in response, well, that person is sure not me.
I’d like to see a story that lets them build and explore that connect. I do not object to eventual OT3, but I think Chihaya is on a quest to find her own footing and pursue other goals at the moment, and I’d really like it if she was allowed to do this (join forces with Shinobu to drag karuta into a professional league, girl!). I’d like to think that in that space, different bonds and relationships can develop and strengthen, starting with Arata and Taichi.
Taichi the overanalyzer, the hardworker and the looker, the golden boy who at some point surely hit that red button, meme-style: you will be perfect at everything, you will have everything, except the one thing that you want above all. Arata appears to be his perfect foil: steady and serene where Taichi’s scrambling and flawed, adorably awkward and disarmingly sincere where Taichi’s groomed, smooth and miserable about his own deceptions. But they don’t see it like that! And they keep tripping each other up so beautifully!
I’d love to read your take on them growing closer and hopefully smooshing their faces together. Roommates in Tokyo? Long-distance friends? Figuring out how to tell your flatmate you’ve been in love with him since you were 12? Established relationship while hijinks happen? AWKWARD THIRDWHEELING WITH SUOU?!
On that note:
Suou Hisashi & (or / - wejustdon’tknow.gif) Mashima Taichi
I cannot believe that ridiculous man. Did you see a grown ass adult swoon because his unrequited disciple I mean not-friend I mean Taichi just up and went to meet his relatives??? To  help reconnect them?? One can do things like this?? What next, being able to make phonecalls like an adult??
Does not compute.
I was there, Gandalf. I was there when the story first indicated that we might be getting an unlikely team-up of the world’s weirdest Meijin and Tokyo’s most miserable overachiever. But even in my wildest dreams I did not dare hope to see them sprawled on the carpet on a humid summer afternoon, Taichi comfortable in his own skin and Suou, erm, probably not very comfortable with his fascination :D He did not sign up for this. He, a grown ass man in what must be his early twenties, is too old for this youthful seishun sakura bullshit. And yet it is he who mournfully accosts Taichi’s mom to talk about how this other boy is paramount in Taichi’s universe. He who gets offended because Taichi knowing how to adult and work the social ropes is too sexy and competent. He who finds something compelling in the painful struggle of genius and skill.
Arata - Taichi - Suou
For maximum indulgence of yours truly, bring those into one place. Arata coming to Tokyo and finding Suou a fixture in Taichi’s life how?! Suou being infinitely pissy at the Fukuyi upstart and yet dragging himself to socialize with the boys regardless like a totally-not-pathetic adult with a social life of his own? Arata being mildly puzzled about the antagonism, but in there for the sweet snacks?
You tell me! I delight in my anticipation.
NIRVANA IN FIRE: Mei Changsu, Xiao Jingyan
Is this a complex, narratively inevitable historic tapestry strangling people with its treads, full of delicious politicking and identity porn? Yes, it is.
Is my burning – nay, primal – desire so simple as to smoosh two faces together and watch them kiss? Yes, it is :’)
I mean, I will obviously not say no if the kissing is giftwrapped in the said tapestry of beautiful, politicky plot, but the fever I can’t get out of my system is this: LET THEM KISS, GODDAMMIT. LET THEM BE HAPPY. I welcome canon divergences, alternative endings, fix-its, insert eps and codas where it looks like they would have kissed (erm, or at least confronted each other in a way that would inevitably end with them making out) if only Mei Changsu wasn’t so caught up in self-loathing and fluffy foxfur coats, and Jingyan didn’t talk too loudly about his so dead, so very dead beautiful ex to hear Mei Changsu weep stoically into his beautiful white furs.
I adore Prince Jing. He is 90% cheekbones and 20% heartbroken pouting over his so very dead friends, and all of it noble and awkward and stubborn and deserving of happiness. Mei Changsu is ridiculous, and capable, and twisted into pretzels of his own creation: not above gloating over his enemies while daintily dipping cookies into his tea, he gets too caught up in weaving the tapestry to notice he is a part of it.  Pull him off his high horse, Jing! Render him helpless by being yourself! Do something about being hopelessly charmed with each other, through resentment, loss, bitter pining, and narrative inevitability! JUSTKISSALREADY.gif!!
THUNDERBOLT FANTASY: Rin Setsua; Sho Fukan
I LOVE THIS SELF INDULGENT WUXIA NONSENSE AND I CANNOT LIE!
Sanfan is a mixture UTTER GLEE and deep fondness for the genre staples, self-aware and masterful playthrough of all the wuxia tropes in the book, and one goddamn well-constructed story. It plays the tropes straight, calls them out with a knowing wink, walks the tightrope between the two with panache, and just as you are relaxed and enjoying this trapeze show, it grins cheekily at you, sets the discoball on fire and pulls a bunny out of a hat.  It’s DELIGHTFUL and fun and lovingly crafted, just like a good passion project should be.
I want anything that capitalizes on the absolutely hilarious dynamics between Rin Setsua and Sho Fukan (and while personally I end up using the Japanese versions of their names more often, please feel free to go with the Chinese names if you prefer). Sho Fukan does not want any of those heroic quests, he’s the human equivalent of been there, done that mood, and he just wants to REST and hopefully dump a bunch of magical murderswords someplace safe. Rin Setsua is a Totally Respectable and Non-Villainous Member of Society, of which he will inform you firsthand in the most high spoken and verbose way possible, and maybe even produce paperwork that has definitely not been tampered with. He harbours no ulterior motives, ever, and does not trail behind Sho Fukan for any reason beyond the pleasure of his company, and his mission to personally victimize and cockblock every morally derelict villain in two countries, by no-one’s request.
Whether you go shipfic (yiss!) or canon levels teamup circus (also yiss!), don’t hold back your horses. Everything about this is Extra, and should continue to be so <3
I am okay with both expanding the canon and playing with AUs/crossovers/fusions for this one, provided they retain the character dynamics. I love the extended cast as well: any characters including the Seiyou gang (and on that note, if you want to write the Seiyou backstory for Shou’s gang that has no Rin in it, you’re welcome as well), reappearance of the familiar faces from Touri (read: Rin’s victim list, past, future and present), original characters lined up and waiting to be screwed over (guaranteed) and rescued (the administration does not bear any responsibility etc etc).
Thank you for taking the time to read the letter, and I’m greatly looking forward to reading your story — and hopefully, getting to chat about these ridiculous and wonderful characters post-reveals :)
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rp-repliforce · 4 years
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 {Get to Know my Muse in 8 Songs or Less}
Music is a great way to get a sense of a character’s personality, history, or general vibes. You might only have a handful of songs you associate your muse, or you could have a massive playlist that’s impossible to list. Songs make it for all kinds of reasons: the lyrics, the genre, or maybe you just found the song at random and it stuck. The purpose of this meme is to introduce your muse in the span of one album or less, share some of your musical inspiration, or even stuff you’re into right now while you write! You can explain as much or as little as you like (multimuses are welcome to do one track per character too!).
((I kind of broke the rules of this meme, and made a playlist for my main 3 muses. It’s a lot to go through, so its ok if you don’t want to listen to them all... ^^;))
General
1. [Stadler - Dreams of war] This was actually one of the first theme songs I chose for General, but I feel like it still manages to capture his personality prefectly. I think it kind of speaks for itself.
2. [A Cerulean State - If Only I Had Forever] When I listen to this song, I imagine General leaning against a balcony and staring at the stars... Maybe thinking about the things that could have been.
3. [Evening Star - Octavia] Here’s one that’s more upbeat. Even though this is an MLP song, it’s always reminded me of General. I don’t really know what this one makes me think of though...
4. [Two Steps From Hell - Submariner] Here’s a look at General’s more serious side. This one makes me think of General on the move. Most likely headed to a battle.
5. [David Edwards - Insurrection] I’ve been thinking about choosing this song as his new combat theme, because it captures how scrary it would actually be to fight him. His armor is nearly impenetrable, he’s strong enough to bash through the walls of fortresses, can easily crush a reploid in his hand, and It’s almost impossible to hide from his onslaught (if you’re a reploid) because his whiskers can detect electrical activity. I tend to assocoiate heavy sounding orchestral stuff with him anyways.
6. [Audiomachine  -  Last Plane Out] I chose this song to be the theme of General’s sacrifice. I remember that in my story, I actually drew the scene out a bit. Instead of moving himself into the path of the final weapon’s beam, he instead dives into the structures surrounding the core, and uses the last of his strength to cause as much destruction as he can. General eventually succumbs to his wounds, and has a surprisingly peaceful death before the inferno from the core’s implosion could take him. He died a true hero, giving up everything he had already sacrificed so much for to protect the innocent humans and reploids of earth.
7. [The Volga Boatmen (Paul Robeson cover)] I remember sharing this song to show how I imagined General’s singing voice to sound.
Colonel
1. [Two steps from hell - Never back down] This is the song I chose to be Colonel’s theme song. Beleive it or not, it has actual lyrics. I think they suit him really well.
2. [Kingdom Hearts II Soundtrack - Passion - KINGDOM Orchestra Instrumental Version] If I could make this Colonel’s theme I would, but I have a personal rule against using songs from popular media for themes. I remember a time when I had almost lost muse for him, but listening to this song helped me remember his more noble and heroic side (mostly at 1:56 though).
3. [Thomas Bergersen - Immortal] This is actually one of the previous theme songs I had for him. I think it still does kind of fit
4. [Two Steps From Hell - Winterspell] Whenenver I listen to this one, it almost makes me picture a scene where Colonel goes on some kind of mission. Also so far it seems like most of these songs make me think of Colonel running. He’s pretty good at that after all, being able to reach a top speed of 30mph on foot.
5. [Charlene Soraia - Wherever You Will Go] Sometimes I imagine Colonel singing this song to Iris. It reminds me of an idea I had a while ago where Colonel and Iris would have a bit of a falling-out, and Iris would try to stay on Earth with Zero while Colonel would try to go space with General. Still, even though her descision had hurt him, he respected her choice. They had been close their whole life, and now... They would be truly separated for the first time. Even though she’s not there to listen, it’s like Colonel is silently calling for her to come back. It makes me feel a little choked up knowing that despite all the greif that Iris had caused him during the war, he never stopped loving her. (One of the lyrics doesen’t really work here, but... you know.)
6. [Manowar - Die with Honor] The lyrics of this song really makes me think of Colonel’s last stand against Zero at the spaceport. I remember imagining that He had actually decided to stay back and fight off the hunters so that General could escape. Maybe I’d change a couple words in the song though, since Colonel never had a son... ^^; It also makes me think of this card from Teppen, which says: “Pushing himself ever further for the sake of his comrades, this proud reploid's blade can cleave any enemy in to two.”
7. [Two steps from hell - Unforgiven] This is the battle theme I’d decided on for him. The ascending notes in the background are like rising winds, the snare is like rain hitting your face, and the big drum that comes every now and again is like a thunderclap. Near the end, I imagine that Colonel is wounded, but has one last surge of energy before he either wins or loses. I didn’t call him the “Silver Prince of storms” for nothing. I remember imagining that his final battle with Zero would get so stormy and rainy that they would both have reduced visibility and would be at risk of falling off of the bridge they’re fighting on.
8: [josielemmings - In a Dying Whisper] “...Never in my life did I expect you to be the one to strike me down... Our practice duels... At one time we bonded over them... But now... It seems that they were only the beginning..." -Colonel, when he realized he was dying I’d say that by the time the chorus starts, he’s completely gone.
Iris
1. [Lucas king - Smiles] This is the song I chose for Iris’s theme. I think it really fits the impression she tends to leave on people.
2. [Lucas King - Cat] In Iris’s bio, I used this song to describe the way she feels when she’s with Colonel. Warmth, happiness, security, familiarity... Those are the words that come to my mind. I like how the bass of the song almost makes me think of Colonel’s presence and/or voice.
3. [Yann Tiersen - Summer 78] I’m not quite sure why, but this song still reminds me of Iris. I guess it’s her more ‘serious‘ theme. I feel like this track and the one after it do kind of capture her hopefulness.
4. [Yann Tiersen - Mother's Journey] This one makes me picture Iris running through the rain as fast as she can, as well as how she did her best to endure the turmoil happening around her. It makes me think of her perserverance and her quiet desperation.
5. [SAMUEL BARBER - Adagio for Strings] I imagined this to play when Iris would go to Repliforce’s spaceport, but she would find that not only have all of the ships left, there’s also fallen Repliforce soldiers littering her path. Eventually, she finds Colonel laying there... Completely motionless. She was too late to say she was sorry...
6. [Really Slow Motion & Giant Apes - Swirling Dinosaurs] This one was a last-minute descision, since I was kind of dissatisfied with the battle theme that’s actually in her bio (for X4). When Iris fought Zero, she was pushed to her physical, emotional, and psychological limits... All for the sake of trying to finish Colonel’s fight for him.
7. [Lucas King - Hurt] I picked this song to play for Iris’s death scene. No joke, when I played this over the cutscene in X4 (redubbed), I felt like my eyes got slightly moist. It really reminds me of her body struggling to stay alive in that moment as she becomes weaker by the second.
BONUS TRACKS: Post a joke song, a song fitting a relationship, or anything else you couldn’t make room for) 
[Atherine Jenkins & Laszlo Maleczky - Amigos Para Siempre] I’ve kind of made this my song for Colonel and Iris. I oftem imagine them singing it as a duette.
[Two Steps From Hell - Dark Harbor] I think this song would be good for Jet Stignray’s grim mission... Cut off the Hunters’ supply lines by destroying its very source.
Tagged By: @radio-pirate​ (Sorry I took so long... ^^;)
Tagging: @keiko-sacaro @ask-navigator-layer
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fulcrum-agent · 5 years
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About the Character - Ashe of Dalmasca
NAME OF YOUR CHARACTER:
Ashe of Dalmasca (Princess* Ashla Manasse)
ALIAS OF YOUR CHARACTER:
Ashe, Phoenix (Little Phoenix), the Princess of the Heart, the Lioness Rampant
ONE PICTURE YOU LIKE BEST OF YOUR CHARACTER’S FC:
Dark Embers (Balmung)
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While I am updating all of the graphics for the FC, I still really love how the original logo (which is above, once you ditch the Year Five! subtitle) turned out for the FC. The new one is in progress, as I lost all of my layer styles and PSDs during the issues with my PC.
TWO HEADCANONS YOU HAVE FOR YOUR CHARACTER:
[ Twinthings ]
Most twins have some sort of innate bond, particularly monozygotic and bi-monozygotic (there’s a third, yet unnamed type of twin science is looking into, so I gave it a name, your welcome science), but the bond shared between Ashe and Rel exists on a deep and complex aetheric level. The existence of such has manifested several times over the course of the Manasse Twins lives.
While minor changes to her aetheric configuration, such as colouration changes or ‘hiding’ her freckles, don’t affect her twin all that much, major changes to Ashe’s aetheric configuration - like longer-term aetheric dispersal - do have an impact on Rel.
Despite being in their 40s, Rel looks remarkably young, though not quite as young as Ashe does. He’s only just starting to get his first grey hairs, and there aren’t many of them. This discrepancy stems from the handful of times that Ashe's aether has shattered, for a total of somewhere around 7 - 10 years of ‘missing’ time; while she looks barely 30, Rel looks to be in his mid-30s or so.
Major alterations to their forms brought about by things like injury also reflect from one twin to the other, to varying degrees. While Rel’s hands were nearly destroyed during the battle at Nalbina Fortress, his sister frequently has arthritis-like symptoms in her hands, particularly within the palms, which is where most of the damage to Rel’s hands occurred. And while his scar has faded quite a bit more than hers, the scar across the bridge of Ashe’s nose is from an injury her brother suffered not long after Nalbina.
There’s quite a number of additional scientific and anecdotal things involving twins that I’ve as headcanons for the Manasse Twins, but the above is the most modified version of such.
[ Aetherology as Particle Physics Science ]
As much as people baulk upon the initial hearing of this phrase, the game has plenty to support the idea that a lot of aetherology has roots in quantum and particle physics. The most notable being the way the aetheryte systems and other forms of teleportation are described/how they work.
The specifics of Ashe’s Echo gift are all based on this concept, built on the same sort of idea as the Sphere Rote system of Mage: the Ascension. The applications of this are only limited by the person’s imagination and their ability to think on their feet - much like on the fly Rote casting in MtA, which I got pretty good at (I also dodged Paradox like a champ, but that’s for another post).
However, much like MtA’s Sphere system, there are a number of things that can limit how much or how fantastical Ashe’s use of this can be. While it’s not quite like the Paradox system, there’s a similar underlying concept. There’s checks and balances on this, even though they weren’t all that clear near the beginning of playing Ashe, due to having to frequently make the Storyteller call of removing the limiters to deal with certain RP situations.
Underpinning all of this is Ashe’s core Echo gift - the ability to ‘see’ aether in its rawest forms. Much like Neo in the Matrix, the minutiae structure of aether is plain to her, though how it’s actually seen is more like the colour/shade overlays of the Miraluka sight in KotOR.
THREE THINGS THAT YOUR CHARACTER LIKES DOING IN THEIR FREE TIME:
Cooking - While she’s always been a capable enough cook, after spending time learning the more granular layers of the art from Elric, the Roegadyn chef employed by the Knight-Captain, cooking has become something that is relaxing, even though she’s constantly challenging her skill level with new styles, techniques, and recipes.
Writing - Although she’s thus far only published translated works since arriving in Eorzea, Ashe writes frequently. Sometimes it’s just updating her journal (though I’m shite at that since a couple of months after starting the character), or working on writing the modern history of the Kingdom, or working on the occasional piece of fiction. Aside from long-form novella writing, she’s got some skill with poetry and prose and can write song lyrics, when such a fancy strikes her.
Dancing - Most make the mistake of thinking that Ashe learned how to dance due to her family’s station prior to the invasion, however, they would be mistaken. Ashe loves dancing, having learned and taught herself myriad of different styles and techniques, as well as creating something of a fusion style with all she knows. Though she doesn’t get to dance often, she does really enjoy such.
SEVEN PEOPLE THAT YOUR CHARACTER LOVES/LIKES/RESPECTS**:
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[ I. Her Knight ]
{ @thelionofdalmasca }
There will always be a soft spot in Ashe’s heart for the squire that had been assigned to guard her when she was a child. No matter the trouble she got up to, no matter how well hidden she was, he’d always find her, being sure to make her smile and laugh before guiding her home.
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[ I. The Lion of Dalmasca ]
{ @thelionofdalmasca }
Despite the passing of decades, the man the squire became ultimately didn’t fail in keeping the promise he made to her when they were but children - that he would always find her. Though the passage of time has greatly changed him, and though their paths have since parted, she’ll always care about him, and always - though sometimes begrudgingly - respect him.
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[ II. Her Starlight ]
{ @jurien-ashur }
If someone had told her how important he’d become, how integral a part of her life he’d be, the day she met Jurien, she would have laughed and brushed their words aside.
Perhaps it’s as much of a surprise to her as it is to everyone else that she and Jurien have become something far more than anyone ever imagined. After everything that had come to pass between herself and her Knight, the last thing Ashe was looking for was something that lay between philia, ludus, and pragma***.
Despite the fact their marriage was something of an accident, she can’t bring herself to take off the ring from their eternal bonding ceremony; thus far, he’s given her no reason to want to, and she’s hoping he never will.
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[ III. The Doctor ]
The level-headed nature of this Raen, along with his penchant for tea and the higher sciences, led to Ashe coming to respect and trust Doctor Briggs in short order after their first meeting. Before she began her rapid trips between Dalmasca and Eorzea, she considered him something akin to her royal physician, even though she knew he’d never enjoy such an unforgiving position amid the court.
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[ IV. The Violet Mage ]
{ @gal-the-violet }
Despite initial uneasiness between the two, Ashe developed a healthy respect for Galtara during her few moons with the Desert Sapphire Company. The woman’s passion for knowledge, both practical and theoretical, gave the Mage something of a foot in the door with Ashe. Her capability as a combatant, as well as her quiet method of leadership, also garnered respect from the Dalmascan.
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[ V. The Axe-Maiden ]
{ @vayduh }
While there is still much Ashe doesn’t know about J’veda, what she has seen from the Seeker has earned the woman an odd sort of respect from Ashe, one that’s quite unique to Veda.
The warrior’s confidence with her feelings, stating her mind, and particularly her body and sensuality - while sometimes overwhelming - creates something of longing respect for the Seeker. Ashe would very much so like to be as carefree and confident about such things, but always feels the grip of noblesse oblige and the expectations of her behaviour it places upon her.
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[ VI. The Gilded Lily ]
{ @mai-takeda }
Although they’ve not interacted all that often, soft and quiet respect has been growing for the Raen. While initially, she seemed far too naive and far too shy, Ashe has realised there’s more to Mai than she initially expected, finding her wide-eyed selflessness to be incredibly endearing.
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[ VII. The Playwrite ]
{ Return to Ivalice NPC }
Despite the fact that he’s a Garlean pureblood, she has nothing but respect and admiration for Jenomis cen Lexentale. His love for her kingdom and the kingdom that came before it, coupled with his passionate sacrifices have deeply touched Ashe, and given her hope for the Garlean people.
With her understanding of auracite, knowledge of the Lucavi, and the geography of Dalmasca, Ashe became something of a fixture within the group attempting to prove the writings passed down within the Lexentale’s family correct. The journey from a return to Rabanastre, to the Lighthouse of Ridorana, and finally deep within the Golmore Jungle to discover the strangely familiar Orbonne Monastery has been something she’s quite thankful to have experienced.
For some time, she’s been working on both a written adaptation of Lexentale’s precious artefact known as the Durai Papers and an adaptation of the play he’s created from the Zodiac Braves myth that’s more palatable to foreigners with no background to the story - primarily, Eorzeans.
TWO THINGS YOUR CHARACTER REGRETS:
Her time as a conscript within the Garlean Military.
Revealing her childhood love to the person whom it was for.
A PHOBIA YOUR CHARACTER HAS:
Arachniphobia****
Tagged by @jurien-ashur (This was sooooo long! And I crashed like six times and lost most of my work on it. YOU HAD BETTER APPRECIATE MY FINISHING THIS.)
Tagging: Everyone in the list of seven people are tagged for this, along with @snow-and-sea, @the-ruby-rogue (WHY YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME ON ME, I WAS SO CONFUSED), @kazexvoss, @arcanakiller, @galla-xiv, @rinrin-rinalys, @aelathetrashcan, @catdette, @velarishiku, @thewitchofthechocoboforest, @zhauric, @garlean-nonsense, @hei-lowell, and anyone else who’s wanting to torture themselves for a few hours!
ANNOTATIONS
* - I made the mistake of not hauling down my line of succession information off my SCA document backup before working out the Manasse family’s place in the nobility and lineages. As it turns out, it all put Ashe into the line of succession, and given the death toll in Dalmasca, she’s now fairly near the top of such. Until there are more clarifications on the leader of Lente’s Tears, and/or perhaps the B’nargin twins’ life before the Garlean invasion, it leaves her within the top 5.
I considered retconning it but got encouragement to keep it, and so I did. It should be noted, that unless something is really super wacky with the Dalmascan story that’s unfolding, Ashe is so not going to become the rule of Dalmasca - and even then, I’d feel awkward as hell and probably not. XD
** - Choosing just seven people was rough because there’s more than that many people that Ashe gets along with, or has respect for while saving space for some of the NPCs she deals with. In the end, I picked just one NPC, even though there are three or four who fit the bill.
Please don’t feel like your character isn’t important to Ashe if they’re not mentioned in this list. All of Ashe’s friends and colleagues are important and cherished by her - and by me.
*** - Anyone who knows me has heard me bitch about how terrible a language English is, in so much as the fact that we have words that have myriad and varying meanings, which leads to far more confusion than necessary. Often, when expressing some sort of ‘love’, I will revert to the 7 Loves created by the ancient Greeks. Because while they still don’t cover the various different types and levels of love, they do a hell of a lot better job of it than English could ever hope to.
Also, as English is nigh a requirement in this world, I prefer the Queen’s English. Deal with it.
**** - Most of my characters have this phobia because my RL arachniphobia is so bad, I can’t even fake that it doesn’t exist for role play fun times.
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