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brummiereader · 7 months

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Hopelessly Devoted (PART FOUR)

Summary: After spending the remainder of the day at your mother's house restlessly trying to keep you worries at bay, Finn, the youngest member of the Shelby family accompanies you to the Garrison after telling you the news of Tommy's victory. Taking your mother's advice you enter the pub in hopes that you and Tommy will finally be able to talk and clear the air. But with the betrayal Tommy believes you made still firmly at the forefront of his mind, the nights events threaten to take a different turn.

Warnings: Language, angst, mutual pining, mentions of blood

"Y/N are you listening to me?" your mother asked as you sat at the table beside the window in her kitchen, pulling back the embroidered netted curtains as you peered out onto the empty streets of Watery Lane.

" Yes I'm listening" you huffed back as you let go of the fabric, your hands coming down to rest on your lap as you nervously pulled at your fingers, wishing your thoughts would settle. After leaving Tommy in the cemetery you had the stupid idea to visit your mother, clearly you hadn't had enough gloom for one day. You had been told that morning by Polly to stay home until Tommy and his men had returned. So, ever the sucker for punishment you decided to forgo the cramped bedsit you called home and come here to your childhood home, to your mother who was currently sat across from you, her brows knitted together in frustration at your lack of response to her relentless rambling. She had taken this rare opportunity in which you visited to badger you with endless questions as to what it was you was actually doing with your life. Admittedly, It had been a good distraction from Tommy and the anger still churning in your stomach after your heated row in the cemetery. But what you couldn't seem to distract yourself from was the real reason as to why he followed you there. His ridiculous excuse as to why was exactly that, ridiculous. Just as Tommy had picked up over the years as to when you was lying, you too had picked up on when he was holding back, unable or unwilling to express what was really bothering him. Closed off and straight face was a demeanor he had adopted for many years. The only difference now was he wouldn't let you in when you had once been his first port of call. You thought to yourself as you stood up, aimlessly walking around the kitchen as you opened various draws and pots to further distract yourself whilst your mother watched on, the crease in her brow deepening.

" You need to get your life together Y/N" she said as she walked over to you, nudging you out the way with her hip as she shut one of the cupboard doors you had carelessly left open, her orderly home disrupted by your inability to stop fiddling with things." Find a man, and stop wallowing in self-pity over that Shelby boy" Boy...Jesus, did she still see you as the unruly teens that used to wreck havoc on the streets of Small Heath? " He was trouble then, and he's trouble now" she added as you rolled your eyes feeling the lecture that was coming your way.

" I'm not wallowing" you said crossing your arms as you leaned against the wall, squinting at the window to see if there was any movement outside. The street was quiet, eerily quiet. Was something wrong, had word come back that Tommy's plan had fallen apart?

" Off" she replied, ushering you away from her freshly painted kitchen walls.

" He was never trouble, he just got into trouble" you said as you looked down at your feet, tucking your hair behind your ear. " Or trouble finds him" you mumbled under your breath, defending him like you always had as you bit the corner of your bottom lip, looking up to see the picture of your little brother sitting on the shelf across from you.

" He liked him you know, your father too" your mother said with a sigh, her voice softening as she glanced up to your brother's picture whilst she folded the tea towel in her hand for a second time, a flash of sadness spreading across her face.

" He liked him because he wanted a big brother instead of a sister. And dad always did like a rebel" you replied, a small chuckle leaving your mother's lips as you tried to comfort her in the only way you knew how with your strained relationship.

" Georgie liked him because he made you smile. And your father liked him because he reminded him of you. Two peas in a pod he'd always say. He was convinced you'd get married one day" she said as you sat back down next to the window, your hand coming up to brush through your hair.

" Yeh well things changed, he changed" you said as you felt the past few weeks emotions well in your eyes, threatening to escape in front of the last person you would ever want them to. Shaking her head your mother walked over to you, digging in her apron as she pulled out a small white hankey.

" Here" she said as she sat down handing it to you.

" Don't need it" you said defiantly as you turned your head away in attempt to hide the tears now staining your cheeks.

" Take the bloody rag child and wipe those tears away. They'll do no good sitting there, building up. Just let them out...dear" she said as your bottom lip wobbled, your face reddening as you tried to hold back from completely falling apart.

" Mum..." you sobbed as you covered your eyes unable to keep up with the assured image you always tried to portray in front of her. Standing up your mother walked around to sit next to you, bringing you into her arms for what felt like the first time in a very long time, her chin resting on your head as she held you close to her.

" You may be two peas in a pod but shelling the stubbornness out of you both is enough for anyone to toss you in the bin" she chuckled as you smiled, wiping your tears away with the hand stitched cloth. "He's never stopped being trouble dear but his heart has always been in the right place, right here" she said pointing at yours as you looked up at her. " Don't fret child, he will come back. He's just brewing over his thoughts"

" He's been brewing for five years" you said with a huff as you sat up in your seat handing the hankey back to her.

" Yes we'll he's a man, it's what they do. Talk to him, clear the air. No doubt there's been a fair amount of misunderstandings, hm?" she said as she pushed your hair away from your face, pausing before her eyes darted to the window. " Jesus bloody Christ, it's that Finn Shelby again!" she said abruptly standing up, pulling back the curtains as she furiously knocked on the glass. "Putting sticks down my drain, i won't have him clog it up for a second time" she said as she stormed over to the kitchen counter. " He'll feel the back of my tea towel on those scrawny little legs before he has a chance!" she huffed as she picked up the checkered kitchen towel ready to march outside.

" Wait, wait I'll deal with him" you stood up wiping your cheeks as you walked past her to open the front door. " You're about to have holy hell come down on you" you said stepping down onto the porch as the youngest of the Shelby family was about to put a large stick into the drain, mischievously grinning from ear to ear.

" My brothers said if anyone hits me I'm allowed to hit 'em back twice as hard" he said as he stood up straight peering around you to see the scowl on your mother's face, the tea towel grasped tightly in her hand.

"Your brothers says a lot of things, a lot of things that will get you in trouble" you said as you bent down taking the stick from him.

" Tommy says your mum's a witch. Is she?" He asked, watching your mother squint her eyes at him as she turned to walk back into the kitchen.

" What a witch?" You replied biting your bottom lip, trying to hold back your laugh as he nodded his head in reply. Of course Tommy would say that, you thought to yourself. He and everyone else in the neighborhood had felt the back of her tea towel at least once in their lifetime, earning her a formidable and now whole new other reputation thanks to him.

" Yes, and she cooks up naughty little kids in her big cauldron for shoving sticks down her drain. Tommy should know he nearly ended up feet first into the hot bubbling water for doing the very same thing" you winked to him as his sudden wide-eyed expression relaxed into a toothy smile.

" I think you're telling porkies Y/N" he giggled as you stood up smiling to him " You coming" he said grabbing your hand pulling you with him down Watery Lane.

" Finn wait hang on, where are we going? " you said coming to a stop as he tugged at your hand adamant on continuing. "Finn?"

" The Garrison. We won Y/N. Tommy won!" he said as he smiled to you, your own smile unable to hide itself as relief washed over you, his promised good mood the perfect opportunity to take your mother's advice and finally clear the stagnant air that had been looming over you both for the past five years.

As you both approached the Garrison the laughs and chatter of the punters inside radiated from within the small pub out onto the mud and dirt filled streets of Birmingham, a celebration was in tow for yet another step up in Tommy's never ending endeavor for more control, more power. Pushing the large wooden door open you was met with the smell of sweet tobacco filling the air, a wave of beer and whisky engulfing your senses and what you were pretty sure was vomit, this was Small Heath after all. With a quick glance around the room you spotted Tommy with his back to you talking to Polly on the opposite side of the room. Swallowing harshly you walked forward into the middle of the pub, your hands resting on Finn's shoulders as he led the way when you felt a hand grab your arm spinning you around.

" Arthur!" You said turning your head to face him, your eyes lighting up to see the eldest Shelby standing in front of you unscathed and in one piece." Finn just told me, congratulations" you smiled as Arthur's attention quickly darted behind you, a flash of worry washing over his eyes as you furrowed your brow in confusion at his unfamiliar demeanor. "Arthur?"

" Did he now" he replied as he looked down at his younger brother, taking his hat off then ruffling his hair. " Y/N..." Arthur said as he smoothed down his mustache, his arm resting on your upper back as he started walking you away from the middle of the room and back to the Garrison door.

" Arthur what's going on ?" You quietly asked, taking note of the small sigh leaving his lips.

" Nothing love, nothing" he replied sending you a quick smile before his eyes cast down to the floor ahead of him. " It wont be long until it starts getting rowdy in here. There's been too much drinking, brawling will start soon" he said as he cleared his throat, his hand on the door as he glanced behind his shoulder " Be an angel and take Finn home for us, ay? " Arthur asked as you let out a small laugh in response. Finn had seen more than most grown men ever would in his short eleven years of life, a few potential pub fights was a teddy bears picnic in comparison to what his innocent eyes had already endured. You thought to yourself as you looked up at Arthur, his eyes barely able to meet yours. Something was wrong and you wanted to know what.

" Arthur what's goin.."

" Y/N!" Tommy shouted from across the room cutting you off as the pub suddenly went a deathly quiet.

"Tommy" you smiled as you turned around letting go of Finn as you walked towards him. " Congratulati.." you started to say when you noticed the expression on his face, his jaw clenched, his eyes piercing into you as he stood there staring at you without saying another word as you felt Arthur trying to pull you back from what he knew was about to unfold. "Arthur?" You said turning to him, looking for an explanation as to why everyone had their eyes on you when he gave your forearm a gentle squeeze in a small reassuring manner. Reassuring you for what though?

" You dare to fucking show your face after what you did?" Tommy finally spoke as Polly tried to pull him away, her attempts only brushed off as Tommy stalked forward towards you.

" What? " You replied the heat rising in your cheeks as you met his stare. Confusion spread across you face as your eyes darted around the room to everyone nervously diverting their attention else where, namely the bottom of their drinks or the wooden floorboards below them.

" Tommy not here " Polly said trying to stop him for a second time only to be ignored once again.

" How long had you been planning it, hm?" Tommy asked, now only a few feet from you as you tried to step back when he grabbed your wrist, his mounting anger towards you making the uneasy knot in your stomach tighten tenfold.

" Tommy what...what are you talking about?" you replied as you looked down at his strong grip, his fingers inching further into your flesh.

" You hate me that much?" Tommy said through gritted teeth quietly against your ear, his voice laced with hurt and fury. Pulling your head away you was met with his eyes boring into you, glazed over with a film of unspent tears from the rising anger within him. " You betrayed me" he said quieter than a whisper his voice shaking as he let go of you with a push taking a step back, fearing what he would do next.

" Betrayed you?" You questioned, your eyes widening at the mere suggestion you would do such a thing to anyone let alone to him.

" You fucking betrayed me!" Tommy yelled. His contained anger erupting into a loud bellow that boomed from wall to wall within the small room.

" Out! Out, everyone out!" Polly shouted as the whole pub scrambled through the door leaving you, Tommy, Arthur, Polly and John alone in the Garrison." You too" Polly said as her head snapped to Grace standing in the corner by the bar, her eyes briefly meeting yours as she turned around, placing the white rag in her hands on the counter as she casually walked off.

" Will someone please tell me what's going on? " you asked wiping a lone tear as Tommy scoffed in reply, reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his suit jacket. His hands shaking from the fury rapidly coursing through his body as he attempted to light the end of one between his fingers.

" Y/N" Polly said as she hurried over to you, her hand resting on your upper arm. " Y/N, someone let slip about Tommy's plan to take Kimber out. You was seen with his men the other day. Tommy, Tommy thinks.."

" That I let slip?" you replied, your own anger at the accusation now building within you as you stormed over to Tommy sitting on the edge of the table, his thumb rubbing across his brow.

" What you think I told Kimber?!" You said standing in front of him." Tommy they pinned me against the wall, threatened my..."

" I don't want to hear your lies, I don't want to fucking hear them. Danny's dead because of you!" Tommy cut you off as he stood up, his intimidating figure looming over you

" That's enough Tommy!" Polly shouted as your eyes widened.

" Danny's dead? Rosie, the boys..." you said as you looked back to Arthur watching him sniff back his emotions as he downed the glass of whisky in his hand.

" Widowed and fatherless, your doing" Tommy pointed at you, staring you down as you blinked away the tears, swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat. Not only was he accusing you of betrayal but now he was blaming you for the death of Danny Owen, the boy who used to live only three doors down from you when you were kids.

" Tommy you're talking bullshit" John said defending you as he threw his tooth pick on the floor, pushing the chair in his way to the side. Tempers were high, too much liquor had been drunk. Arthur was right, alcohol only added fuel to the flames.

" Just get the fuck out Y/N" Tommy said ignoring John and anybody else's attempts to reason with him.

" No" You said adamantly as you stood in his way, your voice catching in your throat from the tears pouring down your face." Tommy look at me, please..." you pleaded as you held onto the front of his suit jacket. " You know me. You've known me my whole life. I'd never do this to you" you sobbed as you gently placed your palms on either side of his cheeks, his skin scorching hot from the fury bubbling beneath him."Tommy" you said softly, turning his head to face you as he raised his hands, resting them on your arms while you gave him a small smile, gently rubbing your thumb across his cheek.

"You never loved me" Tommy whispered in your ear, pushing past you as you stumbled back, tripping on the leg of the chair behind you as your hand came down onto a broken whisky glass on the floor, missing the table you hoped would steady your fall.

"Fucking hell!" Polly gasped as she rushed over to you, clutching your hand in hers as blood poured down your wrist whilst Tommy looked on, brushing his hand down his face. " Tommy hand me that cloth" Polly said motioning behind him at the towel siting on the bar counter.

" Just get her out of here"

" Tommy..." his Aunt replied, her eyes wide from his lack of response, from his unrelenting hostility.

"Get her fucking out of here! Do you here me? I never want to see her face around here again. You're fired Y/N, get the fuck out of this town!" he shouted as he turned around, his hands resting on the counter of the bar as his jaw clenched at his reflection in the mirror in front of him. Pushing past his brother Arthur picked up the cloth beside him, giving Tommy a sharp elbow to his back.

" Git" Arthur said through gritted teeth as he turned around, walking back to you and Polly.

" Tommy..." you sobbed as you walked to the door wrapping the cloth around your hand. "Tommy! I didn't do anything I swear" You pleaded when he refused to turn around and look at you.

" Don't you worry love we'll get to the bottom of this" Polly said quietly in your ear as she opened the door not wanting the situation to escalate any further, unsure the love she knew her nephew still had for you enough to stop him from doing something he would regret.

" I'll walk you home" Arthur said as he took your arm.

" No" you replied shaking your head as you turned back to Arthur, John and Polly in front of you, your eyes looking past them to see Tommy still looming over the bar. " No" you answered again turning around, suddenly feeling like an outsider as they all watched you leave. Did they believe the same as Tommy, did they believe you betrayed them? As the door to the Garrison shut Polly stormed over to her nephew about to swing at him when Arthur pulled her away.

" You fool, you fucking fool!" Polly hissed, her eyes boring into him as her face trembled with anger. Grabbing her bag Polly stormed out as John followed behind, leaving Tommy with his own choice of insults.

" You're on your own with this one brother" Arthur said picking up his coat as he marched outside, slamming the door behind him.

" Fuck!" Tommy yelled as he threw the glass beside him at his reflection in the mirror, his nostrils flaring as his knuckles turned white from the strain of his clenched fists.

" Tommy?" Grace said as she reappeared from around the corner, slowing approaching him as she gingerly looked around the empty pub. Snaking her hand up his back, she rubbed the side of his neck as she placed the other on his chest, her head resting gently on his shoulder. If her intention from the beginning was to stay back and console him after the bitter row she knew Tommy would have with his family she was in for a rude awakening. It only took a few seconds after feeling the heat of her body pressed against him for Tommy to push her hands away, not entertaining nor giving her an ounce of his attention before he stormed out the Garrison doors leaving her alone and seething for the second time that day. Had Tommy finally realised his mistake?

It's only me" Polly said as she knocked at your front door. It had been a week since that night at the Garrison, the night when Tommy accused you of the unthinkable. Pulling the bed sheets off you walked over to the door opening it then quickly returning to the spot you had barely moved from for the past week, back to staring at the small crack in the wall beside you. Walking in Polly let out a sigh as she looked around the darkened bedsit. Marching over to the opposite side of the room she threw open the curtains, unbolting the window to let in some much needed fresh air. "Tea?" She asked cheerfully as you pulled the covers up to your chin. " You haven't touched any of the food I brought you " she said as she opened the glass bottle of milk in the small basket, its pungent smell making her eyes water as she quickly discarded the contents down the sink. " Y/N?" She said walking over, sitting beside you as she pushed your hair away from your face. You were pale, the colour from you drained. Had you even slept? She thought to herself as she turned your chin to look at her, the wells of your eyes filled with tears. "Oh love, come here" she said as she pulled you up into her arms. The warmth of her embrace comforting you the same as it did when she would cradle you in her arms after your father's death.

"Tell me again love" she said as she collected your hair in her hand, twisting it around her finger into one large curl.

" I've already told you Pol. Kimber's men, they approached me after I left the Garrison. Told me they heard Tommy was up to something and that if he didn't play by the rules both our lives were on the line. Pol, he put my name out there, they knew who I was" you sobbed looking up at her as she wiped the tears from your face with her thumb.

" Fucking idiot" she huffed under her breath thinking about her nephew as her brain ticked over, trying to think of her next plan of action. " When did he tell you he was going to make a move on Kimber?" Polly asked, she was determined to get to the bottom of this mess.

" The day after his birthday. He wanted me to write down the dates John gave when I saw the black star in his diary"

" And you're sure you didn't write that black star down yourself?"

" I'm sure " you sniffed as Polly's head turned to look out the window. " Y/N, does Tommy's diary always stay in the betting shop?"

" No, yes...I don't know, he takes it with him sometimes, to the Garrison" you said as you sat up straight to what you really wanted to say. " Pol I was talking with my cousin who lives in London, her landlord has a new letting advertised " you said as you reached into your bed side table pulling out a piece of paper then handing it to her.

" A train ticket to London King's Cross for today, one minute past noon" she said as her hand dropped into her lap, her eyes widening.

" I can't stay here, you heard him. He never wants to see me again. Small Heath belongs to him, I'm not welcome here anymore" you said as you swallowed back your tears. "I have a few savings I can use while I find work, this place never cost much to rent" you said as you looked around your small bedsit.

" Fuck him and his weak threats. Because that's what they are Y/N, weak. He won't do a thing" Polly said as she folded the ticket back in half throwing it beside her onto the bed as she grabbed your face in her hands." I will sort this out" She said nodding her head in attempts to reassure you.

" Polly I've already packed"

" Wait for me until the last minute, if I'm not on the platform then you go love" she said as she brought you back into her arms, squeezing you tight. You may not be blood but Polly always treated you as one of her own, and the one thing she wasn't willing to do was let you turn your life upside down for the sake of her nephews deluded accusations. Standing up Polly walked over to the door, hooking her handbag on her arm. " Pretty sure I saw a rat lurking around the Garrison. We're long overdue a good culling, don't you think?" She smiled sending you a wink as she fixed her hat on her head, shutting the door behind her. Falling back into bed, you pulled the covers around you, your head turning to face the wall as your eyes fixed on the crack you had been endlessly staring at, wishing you had as much confidence in Polly's abilities to get to the bottom of what felt like a neverending pit of hopelessness and despair.

Leaning against the side of the Garrison bar with a cigarette resting between her lips, Grace lit a match when the sound of the pub's heavy wooden doors swung open and a gust of wind blew out the flame in front of her eyes. "We're not open yet" she huffed in irritation as she looked up to see Polly standing by the doors, removing her hat from her dark brown locks.

" Why don't you pour us both a drink " Polly smiled as she graciously sat down at one of the chairs in the middle of the room, pulling out a long sharp pin from her hair. Polly had never been a gambling woman, but she was willing to take a bet that the ace up her sleeve was worth the risk. Or as they called it in the gambling world, calling someone's bluff.

" Ever heard of knocking?" Tommy said as he sat up in his office chair flicking the ash from the end of his cigarette in the small glass dish beside him as Polly stormed in.

" There he is" she said with a satisfied smirk on her lips as she walked over to his desk " Boss of the Peaky Blinders, King of Small Heath and now the proud owner of Billy Kimber's business. Was is worth losing the only thing that truly matters to you?

" What do you want Polly?" Tommy huffed as he opened his pocket watch. Twenty to twelve, he noted as he snapped it closed, his hand coming up to rub the bar of stress sitting along his forehead.

" I've just been to see Grace" Polly replied as she dropped her bag on his desk. " You're not so clever Tommy" she added as she crossed her arms. "She didn't half scurry out of there when I told her you'd be coming for her, gun loaded after hearing what I just heard. You got played Tommy" she said pulling out his diary in front of him, turning the pages back to the black star noted down a week ago. " Y/N wasn't the only person you told about your plans, was she?" So caught up in your own bitterness and self-pity you overlooked that scheming little wench that's been digging her claws into you for the past few months " Polly said as Tommy's brows furrowed, his throat suddenly going dry as he looked at the small black star in front of him. " Called her bluff... She's been working with Campbell. She's the one that betrayed you, she's the reason your plans fell apart" Polly seethed, slamming the book shut as Tommy's eyes widened at the realisation whilst Polly stepped back watching the wheels turn in her nephew's brain. " Yeh let that sink in. The girl who has been hopelessly devoted to you since you were teens, still is. The love that poor girl bears for you has no match" she added enforcing her point, letting him feel the guilt and pain he had unfairly forced upon you for the past five years.

" Call the train station, tell them to stop all the trains" Tommy panicked, brushing his hands through his hair as he abruptly stood up.

" What?" Polly replied as she moved to the side watching Tommy frantically put his coat on.

" Y/N's getting on the train to London Kings cross in ten minutes" he said feeling a heavy surge of nausea settle in the pit of his stomach.

" You bloody knew? Do you also know every time that girl takes a breath?" Polly sighed as she pinched the middle of her brow." Tommy I was meant to meet her, I won't get there in time and neither will you" she said as she grabbed hold of his arms.

"I'll run. And believe me, if I could know everything she does every minute of the day I would" Tommy replied as he put his peaked cap on opening the door to his office.

" Jesus fucking christ" Polly mumbled under her breath." It's too late, you're five years too late!" She shouted to him as she hurried out his office after him.

"Then I'll spend the next five years making things right " Tommy shouted back as he ran out the betting shop onto Watery Lane.

"London Kings Cross now boarding" the rail dispatcher shouted blowing his whistle as you glanced back behind you.

" Mam, your bags" a young employee said as he approached you, offering you help as your eyes darted around the platform, suddenly realising you was the only passenger left standing there.

" What's the time?" you asked him as you both walked to the the carriage door.

" Twelve mam, the train will be leaving in one minute" he replied opening the door, placing your bag inside as he gave you his hand to help you up the large step. The last minute, you had waited just as Polly said. Turning around you watched as the train door closed, your choice to leave cemented as the sound of the lock closed on the opposite side.

" Hey stop the train. Stop that fucking train!" Tommy shouted as he ran onto the platform, slamming his hands on the side of the carriage as he walked along the side of the train trying to open each door when the whistle blew.

"Sir, Sir! Step away, the train is about to leave" The rail worker instructed as he grabbed Tommy's arm pulling him away as the engine started.

" Here, here take it!" Tommy said holding onto the man's suit jacket as he pulled out a bundle of cash pushing it into his chest as he looked back, his eyes widening in panic." No no no, Y/N!" Tommy shouted letting go of the employees suit jacket as the bank notes he was holding against his chest floated down to the platform floor, the screeching sound of the train wheels turning muffling his desperate calls for you.

Sat in the carriage you clutched onto your bag, tears forming in the corners of your eyes as the train started to leave, feeling as is your heart was parting with everything and everyone you had ever known and loved.

" Probably a late comer" an elderly gentleman chuckled to his wife as them and a few other passengers curiously looked out their window at the commotion outside.

" Y/N!" Tommy shouted desperately as he started to run along the platform, banging his fists on the sides of the train. "Y/N wait!" Tommy yelled stopping in his tracks, unable to keep up as the horn blew and a large cloud of smoke funneled along the top of the train. Sitting back in your chair you turned to face the window, wiping the tears away from you blurry vision, the panel for Small Heath passing you by, the final goodbye.

NEXT PART

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#tommy shelby #thomas sheby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x you #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic

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pinguwrites · 7 months

Text

Kinktober 2023 | Day Five — Thomas Shelby + overstimulation, bondage

Pairing -> sub!thomas shelby x dom!reader

Warnings -> smut (minors dni), overstimulation, bondage, riding, mild choking

KINKTOBER 2023 MLIST

Disclaimer: Peaky Blinders characters, plots, quotes, etc. do not belong to me and belong to the rightful owner(s). This is only fanfiction and this is just for fun.

Tommy whimpered — actually whimpered, the first time you ever heard such a noise leave his lips.

You were both in his bed, his hands tied up to each side of the headboard, you on his dick, bouncing and riding like your life depended on it. It took oh so long to get him to agree to this. He hadn’t liked the idea of being bound, even though he’d done it to you before, but eventually, he relented.

You were glad he trusted you enough for this. It’s not like you were going to slit his throat or anything, but the idea of him vulnerable in front of you made your heart flutter and warm up like a fireplace.

You bent over and gave him a kiss on the side of his lips.

He growled, tilting his head to the side, but you pulled away. “I — I want a proper kiss.”

“Do you now?”

Tommy threw his head back on the pillow, thrusting his hips up. “It’s only fair, eh?” He let out a strangled groan. “You’ve been teasing me, overstimulating me . . .”

You obliged and gave him a quick kiss, not enough to satisfy him, but enough to keep him at bay for the moment.

“Don’t be like that,” you said, letting out a moan once you felt his cock reach that deep spot inside of you. “You only came once before, are you telling me it’s too much?”

“Liar.” He shook his head. “You sucked me off — at — at the party, remember? Earlier today?”

You feigned confusion. “No.

“This’ll be the third time,” Tommy breathed out, tugging on his ropes.

“It’ll be the second,” you corrected, even though you were wrong. “The third time will be after this.”

Tommy’s eyes widened at the realization. “Again?” He let out another whine, his hips squirming away. “Ah, fuck.”

“Is that a problem?” you asked, a cheeky grin on your face.

He hissed. “N-no.” But it was clear all the pleasure was getting to him.

A few more bounces was all it took for both of you to come. You halted your movements, wanting to take a breather. You rested your hands on his chest, as Tommy begged for you to take off his restraints.

“No, Tommy. You agreed to it, now follow through.”

Tommy shook his head. “Sweetheart,” he warned, low and dangerous. “You’re driving me crazy. Take them off. I need to touch you.”

You knew he didn’t really want them off. If he wanted he could just escape, which you were sure he knew how to do. Or he could use the safe word you both installed early on in the relationship.

So you let him suffer and started moving again, your hands wrapping around his throat. Another whine escaped from his lips, along with a cry of your name.

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@rainyforest777

@thatwitchybitch420

@madeinuk

@gentyleman

@henrywintersdearestgirl

#thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x y/n #thomas shelby x you #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fanfic #pinguwrites #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #kinktober masterlist

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padfootdaredmetoo · 3 months

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Can you write something for: "being Tommy's wife"? Please. The girl would have been raised by Polly, who raised and loves her like a daughter. She grew up with the boys, especially Tommy. She witnessed Finn's birth and everything. When he goes to war, he promises to stay with her when he returns. Another, Tommy's brothers have her as a sister so they will defend her as one, Ada and her are best friends and Isaiah had a crush on her as a kid... Kisses, sorry for the long thing, I love your stories, see u later 🩷.

Hey Love,

I am deeply sorry this took a million years to write. Thanks for sending this in and for being so kind. I'm so happy that you enjoy my writing. Hope you like this one <3

Warnings: Peaky related themes like violence, murder, drunk dads, beatings, suicide, childbirth - and of course kissing and cuteness

You had always been close with the Shelby Family. Your mother died in childbirth leaving you without siblings, something that was easily remedied with the constant chaos of your next-door neighbors. You were often lumped in with them as your father worked constantly. You traded what extra things you had for their company. You weren't rich living on Watery Lane, but you always had extra bread which was kind of like being rich.

As you got older you started to understand what happened down at the Betting Shop. You remembered Arthur taking Tommy aside and telling him to keep you as far away from there as possible. So he took you down to the cut and you spent most of your time with the horses in Charlie’s yard.

Those moments were your happiest. Tommy was always around to get into trouble with. One night when your dad had laid a beating on you for ruining a pair of shoes in the stable he’d helped you climb out of your window across the ledge and into his bedroom. He’d fixed your swelling cheek with some ice wrapped in a kitchen towel.

There was an unspoken easiness between the two of you. John and Arthur were different. John was always teasing you loudly and Arthur was always laughing. Always fun and games until someone was giving you a hard time, then they were all business.

You’d been there for Finn’s birth. A memory that was both happy and sad. You normally avoided the Shelby parents at all costs. Mrs. Shelby had a dead look in her eyes and she would twirl around the kitchen talking to ghosts, other times she would cry out in the night so loud you could hear her in your own apartment. Mr. Shelby was mean. Not much to him other than that. Finn was special, he was the first baby you ever held. You had to help Polly clean him off and get him sorted when he was born. You remembered sitting down once he had been fed and fallen asleep. You sat down covered in after birth swearing you would never have children. Ever.

Watching Tommy come into the room and hold his sleeping brother with a look in his eyes, something deep inside you reconsidered.

Polly was alright, she’d always put bows in your hair and read your tea leaves. Out of all the adults in your life, you had the biggest soft spot for her. She had all the juiciest stories that made you want to go out and start living your own life.

Something you were just on the cusp of doing before the war started.

The boys left and you tried not to let it break you. The unmovable safety they had brought you was gone and the city seemed vicious. Tommy wasn't there when your father was drunk… Tommy wasn't there at all. You’d stayed awake all night before he left. Laying there with him talking about everything you wouldn't be able to talk about while he was gone. Well, almost everything. You held his hand and laughed till your ribs hurt at all his jokes about what it would be like and what he would do while he was gone. Anything to keep the truth of it at bay. You wanted to tell him how you felt but you didn’t want him to carry more burdens with him when he left. You promised him that Ada, Finn, and John’s kids wouldn't starve and he’d kissed your cheek and promised he’d come back for you. Those words haunted your every moment.

To avoid your father and the emptiness of missing Tommy you threw yourself into your job as a mid-wife. At the end of the day you would sneak food out of your pantry and bring it over to Polly. She ran a tight ship void of all the things you had enjoyed about her when you were a kid. She was hard on the kids and they were mostly Ada’s responsibility as Polly shouldered the betting shop. There was a balance, most of your money went to the household and Polly was always grateful for your help. Things were fine until they weren't. Young boys who weren't quite yet fighting age had started up gangs and more drugs and conflict swept through the streets of Birmingham. You ended up working while also causing lots of trouble.

The worst night of it came just before Tommy had come home. You’d killed another stupid idiot pushing his wrapped body into the cut in the middle of the night. It was exhausting, for every life you brought into the world you ended another. A cycle you didn't think you would ever end up in. You knelt by the side of the river letting the rain soak through your clothes. Looking down into the black water you could feel the same pull that took Mrs. Shelby. It was calling out to you softly but you shook your head. You had a lot more fight still left in you.

______________Tommy’s POV

Coming home wasn't the relief he thought it would be all those years ago. He came home and you hugged him tightly. While you looked like you were bursting with life he felt like like he was dead on the inside. Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes bright. Your fingernails had a pink tinge to them. He’d hoped it was from your job as a midwife but he knew how bad things had gotten here. He could feel it in the way people looked at you on their walk home from the train station. Settling in was awful. The nightmares that kept him up at night, the sad sense of rejection that was growing around you. But the weight of the business is what was crushing him. He needed you and Polly out of it, he needed to step up as a man should. You especially should have never had to get your hands as dirty as they were. But there you were all those names etched into your soul, and you still looked at him with girlish adoration, as if he wasn't the man who had commended your life.

Things between him and Polly had never been worse, any move he made she would disagree. You still kept looking at him with your big eyes full of emotions he didn't know how to feel anymore.

Ada was a few years younger than you but you were both old enough now that it wasn't noticeable. He saw the both of you sitting on the front step watching some men moving furniture out of the house down the street. There were glasses of wine between you and the sun made the flush of your cheeks look so red. Ada mumbled something and waved to Isiah as he passed by and both of you burst into giggles. That’s when he realized if he didn't make good on his promise, you wouldn't be around. Men looked at you with fear, but they also acknowledged the fierce competence and loyalty you have. By the time he got the business up, and then got it legal, you would probably be married off. He hated the sense of panic he felt bubble up in his stomach. Just once he would like to feel something pleasant.

All day he thought about what to do. They were drinking beer around the table. He was always happy listening to John and Arthur tell jokes. It made him happy that they had managed to keep more of themselves alive than he had himself.

“Going to head out for the night. I’m on call tomorrow so I can only help around the house.” You looked at Polly who nodded. Your eyes flashed to him for a second before wrapping your wool shawl around your shoulders.

“I’ll walk you home.” He could feel John and Arthur’s eyes narrow in on him as the silence rolled through the room.

“You haven't forgotten I only live next door have you?” You smiled at him and gestured for him to come along. He followed you down the stairs and out the front door. Three steps to your front door and you turned to look at him.

“Well, this is me.” You pointed at the door giving him a smile. “I’d invite you in for a drink but my father wouldn't approve.”

“Walk with me?” He asked and he wished there was more emotion in his tone. You raised your eyebrows and he almost wanted to laugh.

“A private meeting with Mr.Shelby. Wow.” You linked your arm in his and he could tell that there was hurt under your humor.

“Things-” His voice trailed off as he lost all the things he had thought about telling you. He wanted to tell you to marry him but that was much to forward you deserved something nice and for it to move at your own pace.

“Are different” You finished. “You're not you, Polly is pulling her hair out, and your secret-keeping is making it impossible to help with the business.”

“Precisely.” He said in a cold tone. He wanted to explain but the words were still gone.

“Well, fix it then.” You said in a short tone. “You came home and made a mess of things, so fix it.”

“It’s not that easy.” He pulled a cigarette out and offered you one. You nodded and he lit one, taking a drag then watched as you took it from him. Your lips perched where his had been a moment before. His eyes focused on your mouth and he could feel the tension become obvious.

“I want to make things right between us. I’m just not sure how.” He said the words slowly finally dragging his gaze from your mouth. Your cheeks had flushed again and he fought the urge to stroke your cheek.

“Thomas. All you have to do is trust me. Then talk to me. We spent our whole lives that way. Only four years were apart.” There was pleading your eyes and he wondered if he would ever be able to deny you anything.

“Alright. I want to shoulder most of the business.” You sighed and he continued on. “Not because you and Polly aren't competent, but because things are even higher risk than they have been. I want to shoulder the consequences. To do that I need to keep you out of it.”

“I don’t want you to face things alone. Not the risk or the consequences.” It was his turn to let out a sigh.

“I know you don't, that’s why I -” He what? Was in love with you, wanted to marry you? Wanted to build you a life that would make any other woman on the planet die of a jealous heart?

“You what?” They were by the cut now and you turned to look at him. You were angry and you had every right to be.

“I want to marry you.” He blurted the words out and ran a hand through his hair. Your hands flew to your mouth and you looked at him with wide eyes illuminated by the moonlight. Was this positive or negative? The regret and embarrassment started to creep up his neck when you lunged at him.

He stumbled slightly before properly handling your weight. Your arms were tight around his neck and all he could smell was the perfume along your neck. He took a deep breath, the first real breath he had taken since leaving France. He wanted the weight of you pressed up against him all the time. The feeling you brought him was enough to keep the demons at bay. How selfish was it of him to take this easy path out. He should have worked out a proposal and should have courted you properly.

“We don’t - we could -” He tried to figure out what he wanted to ask.

“Shut up and let me have my moment.” You said before pulling away enough to kiss him. It was soft and slow and he knew without a doubt he was yours forever.

After a good amount of kissing, he smiled at you and meant it. He walked you home and then took his beating from Arthur and John.

“I don’t care if God himself descended from the sky to claim her. She’s my sister and you won’t hurt her Tommy.” Tommy couldn't remember the last time he heard his brother’s voice sound so lethal.

“You’ll be held to the same standards as any other dumbass wanting to date her,” John added.

“Trying to do the opposite of hurt her.” He said wanted them to see he was trying to make you happy too.

“That’s what they all say,” Arthur said with pointed eyes before bursting out into a booming laugh. “I want this to happen, brother I do. Just don’t mess around with her.” Arthur gave him a rough pat on the back and John started to make jokes about all the ways Tommy could disappoint you.

Eventually, they let him go up to his room. You had already climbed across the ledge to his window and gotten into his bed.

“Took you long enough.” You said it as a joke but there was something in your voice that gave you away. You were starting to think he wasn't going to show up.

“Boys had to rough me up a bit first.” Tommy shrugged his jacket off.

“Why? what did you do?” Her eyes looked him over with concern.

“Showed an interest in you. They had to do the usual.” He said absently changing into his pj’s trying to seem unbothered by your gaze watching him closely as he undressed.

“What’s the usual?” You whispered.

“Bit of a beating, the usual threats. Part of dating someones sister.”

“You mean any guy that’s wanted to date me has been roughed up by the three of you?!”

“Yeah.” Tommy leaned against the wall looking at you laying in his bed in your night clothes. Head propped up on your arm.

“I thought I was ugly.” You whispered still in shock over this news.

“What?!” Tommy laughed again.

“None of the boys ever asked me out over the years. I thought I was ugly.” Tommy moved across the room and into the bed to assure you that you were never ugly.

_____________________________

It took a lot of time to get out of that house on Watery Lane. Your father had passed before your wedding and Arthur walked you down the aisle. Ada and Poly felt all was right in the universe once you joined the family properly. They had a lot of fun planning the whole thing out. Your honeymoon was in the new house, a massive thing that Tommy had built for you. It was large but warm.

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #shelby family #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders x reader #tommy shelby x reader

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aphroditeslover11 · 4 months

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Christmas Morning Distractions

Tommy Shelby x Reader

This took me longer to get to you than it was meant to, sorry it is so short. It was fun to write though!

No warnings, just fluff!

The Shelby family was a member bigger than it was last year. You and Tommy now had two beautiful children between you, Charlie who was his son from a previous marriage (but had accepted you as his own mother) and now Rosie, your daughter who would be turning one in February. The Christmas season had been full of excitement, Charlie was at the age now where he could understand the concept of Father Christmas and you had managed to bully your husband into playing into all of the traditions surrounding it. No matter how much Tommy complained, there was no way that he didn’t enjoying taking the bite out of the reindeer’s carrot and the mince pies that were left out. It was a bit suspicious though in your opinion that Father Christmas had also been left out at glass whiskey.

The whole family would be coming over later, eating dinner and opening presents together. The children, mainly Charlie, were getting restless that they were having to wait to open all of their presents. Sat in the drawing room, you could see the lines of Tommy’s forehead drawing together in impatience. He was a good father, but not a tolerant one.

“Charlie, we’ve had this conversation. We have to wait for your cousins to get here before you can open anything…” The boy was about to interrupt when you piped in.

“Surely there must be something that you want to do before then? Something else a little festive?”

“Here’s an idea for you Charlie, why don’t we go and see the horses, eh? You like the stables, it’s snowed a bit overnight and the horses could do with a visit, we could take them something for Christmas as well if you like.” The little boy’s face lit up, he was clearly enthused by the idea.

Charlie was sent to the kitchen to find some carrots from Francis whilst you worried about wrapping up the baby. Tommy emerged at the same time as his son, proffering coats to all of you. He had a complex about you getting cold, he seemed to have decided you were particularly fragile ever since the birth. He took Rosie from you, carrying her in one and arm holding your hand with the other as headed out to the stables.

It didn’t matter how many times Charlie saw the horses, he was always just as excited.

“Go on then lad, go and give them the carrots you got from Frances and make sure you wish them a Merry Christmas - horses can sense that it’s a time to celebrate just as much as you can.” The child went bobbing into the stables, going to find his favourite horse, a bay mare that Tommy had flatteringly named after you - it had a particularly skittish temperament. He reached up to it with the carrot, which it gratefully accepted, his little smile even brighter than the pristine white snow which covered the ground. Tommy drew you to him as you was watched, he had arranged Rosie so that she was tucked inside his overcoat, making sure she wasn’t caught in the wind.

“This is a lovely way to spend a morning Tom, a really good idea baby.”

“Well, I do have ‘em occasionally love,” he chuckled.

“You know, I’d like to make this a tradition, do it every year,” you suggested.

“In that case love, that is what we’ll do.”

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #fanfic #requests

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vsecretandmore · 5 months

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#Mckenzie Hewson #Shelby Bay

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bruce-wyatt-burner · 3 months

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👀👀

#shelby bay #oana gregory #cute #pretty #lovely #gorgeous #beauty #beauties #celebs #instagram

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shelbyssins · 1 year

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HI 💕 I loved Home so much and I was wondering if I could request something?? I had this idea of Tommy x Reader where reader was like a one that got away situation with pre-war Tommy and she married someone else but her husband dies during the war but Tommy didn’t ever know that he just thought she was married.. so time passes and they meet again then you can choose the ending!! Happy or sad you can choose, I hope this makes sense English is not my first language lol!! And if this doesn’t inspire you that’s okay too but know I love your work and am excited to see what you write next!!!💕😇😇

Seasons Change, People Don't ~ Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: Language, a sprinkling of angst

Word Count: 6,880

A/N: So this past week or so has just been insanely busy for me and I was struggling to find time to finish this request but here it finally is! I wanted to make this a little more light hearted than my previous request and the idea of Tommy and reader's relationship changing through the seasons really stuck with me so I hope you enjoy! I will be posting some shorter form one shots this week with some different characters so watch out for those! As always, if you read this, let me know what you think! - Rosie x

June 1912

“Tommy!” Y/n shrieked as she bounded over to her friend in the stables. The summer sun was breaking through the thin cover of cloud that drifted over the fields today. Y/n watched as Tommy’s eyes met hers, a soft smile playing on his lips when he recognised her. Y/n pressed a kiss to Tommy’s cheek, smacking her lips louder than she needed to because she knew it wound him up. He made an exaggerated show of wiping the spot she’d kissed and Y/n punched him lightly in response, he laughed gently, feigning hurt as he rubbed his arm.

Tommy was reverently brushing his mare, a bay horse who’s coat gleamed like copper coins under his attention. Tommy was a quiet man, never really as raucous as his brothers could be, but he laughed a lot, those soft little chuckles that never failed to make Y/n blush whenever she pulled one out of him. Tommy was a middle child, but Y/n knew he acted every bit the eldest. Having been blessed with intelligence, his head would soon be burdened with the crown of the Shelby family. Though he did laugh a lot, Y/n could often see the strain he felt as the head of the family, so it was nice to see him relaxed and in his own world.

He was twenty two now, about a head taller than Y/n and she found him so frustratingly handsome. She watched as his solid muscles shifted beneath his crisp shirt with every movement over his mare’s back, all broad shoulders and quiet strength, it was no wonder he had every girl in Small Heath falling over themselves for the chance to go out with him, though he never seemed to care much. Despite the obvious physical attraction, Y/n’s favourite part of him was his bright blue eyes, shining like sapphires in the sun, like stormy seas in the shade. Y/n would like to pretend that she was better than all the other girls, far above so obviously throwing herself at Tommy; but it was hard to push down the magnificently huge crush she had on him when he gazed at her with those pools of blue.

Y/n had known Tommy ever since she could remember, her mother was best friends with his Aunt, Polly Gray, they were practically sisters, and as her father had abandoned them before she was even born, the Shelby family pitched in to help wherever needed. Then, when Y/n was twelve years old, her mother passed and she’d lived with Polly ever since. She knew full well that Tommy only ever deemed her like a sister, but that didn’t stop her dreaming that he’d one day notice her affections.

It didn’t help that Tommy always treated her like a child as well, chiding her when he’d seen her smoking for the first time, always referring to her and her friends as ‘the kids’. Y/n had hoped that now she was eighteen, Tommy might see her in a different light, might start treating her like an adult, but if anything he was even more overprotective.

Just recently he’d refused to let her sit with him and his older brother, Arthur, in the Garrison, telling her, “It’s not proper for young ladies to listen to conversation like ours, you don’t want to be around us when we’re drinking anyway,”. It was kind of humiliating, especially when Arthur had laughed that booming laugh right in her face, so she gave up that night and trailed home, feeling every bit the little girl Tommy thought she was.

“You know, Mark’s been hanging around me a lot recently,” Y/n began, hoping that Tommy might get jealous if she talked about another guy, “Ada says she thinks he likes me,”

Y/n got nothing more than a non committal grunt from Tommy, though his hands had stilled their work over his mare’s mane.

“She thinks he’s going to ask me to go to the Garrison’s jazz night this weekend. As his date,” She added the clarification at the end, searching Tommy’s face for absolutely any reaction.

Tommy obviously wasn’t going to bite, so Y/n decided to try a more direct approach, “You know, if you asked me to go with you instead of him, I’d say yes,”

For all the intelligence he apparently possessed, Tommy just looked at Y/n blankly, a puzzled eyebrow raised as he went back to grooming his horse.

“You know I don’t like jazz, Y/n,” Was all he said on the matter, and Y/n wondered if he really was that bad at picking up her hints or if he was ignoring her attempts at flirtation on purpose.

Y/n was beyond frustrated at the fact that Tommy just didn’t understand what she was trying to say, she had hoped distantly that maybe she had a head start on all the other girls who liked Tommy too; she knew him far better than they did after all. But maybe it was because they’d grown up together that Tommy couldn’t see her as a potential girlfriend, maybe she’d always be just a kid in his eyes. Maybe he had some misguided idea that he was protecting her feelings by pretending to be confused, because perhaps in reality he just wanted to reject her.

“Well maybe I’ll just say yes to Mark then,” Y/n snapped, all together fed up with trying to get her meaning across. She looked away from Tommy then, afraid that if he caught her eye that she’d start blushing.

Tommy didn’t look up at her statement, just scratched at his horse’s ear as he said a bored, “Ok,”

Y/n huffed, storming away in a barely contained stomping tantrum that would rival any fit Finn could throw. She felt utterly defeated as she walked away from Tommy, thoroughly embarrassed that she was a tiny bit jealous of a horse.

March 1913

The sun was warm today, the first hints of spring blooming to bask in its light. The grass, damp with morning dew, caressed Y/n’s bare legs just below her skirt as she walked through the meadow in search of Tommy. Y/n knew he would be out here somewhere, desperate to get the family’s horses out in the fields for some exercise after the previous week’s relentless storms had kept them locked in the stables.

As she climbed her way over a short hill, Y/n’s eyes finally set on Tommy, who was standing under the shade of a tree, smoke from his cigarette billowing out of his mouth. Y/n ambled over, the closer she got she took in more of his appearance. He was dressed only in an undershirt tucked into his trousers, his suspenders hung loose by his legs. Tommy’s hair, not gelled down for once, flopped over by his ears. Y/n swallowed thickly as she remembered that she had a boyfriend waiting for her at home.

“Hi, Tommy,” She said softly, not wanting to startle him out of whatever daydream he seemed to be in.

“Y/n,” He replied simply, blowing some smoke in her face by way of greeting.

Y/n rolled her eyes as she waved the cloud of smoke away, faking a cough as she did.

“You got another one of those for me?” She asked with a gesture towards his cigarette, putting on the sweet voice she always used when she wanted something from Tommy.

He wordlessly opened his packet and she took one gratefully, leaning forward when Tommy flicked his lighter. Tommy moved in close to light Y/n’s cigarette for her, she held her breath as he did, wanting to avoid accidentally breathing in his dizzying scent of fresh soap and a hint of whiskey. Y/n took a long drag of the cigarette, having smoked almost half of it in one go when she finally exhaled. Tommy quirked an eyebrow at her obvious craving for the nicotine but didn’t comment.

Y/n relaxed her shoulders a little as she felt the effects of the smoke calm her rushing blood slightly, sagging against the tree as she pulled at the last dregs of the cigarette. Her mind wandered back to the problem at hand when she flicked the butt away into the grass.

“To what do I owe the pleasure,” Tommy asked as he too finished his smoke.

Y/n sighed and looked off into the distance, her eyes finding two of the Shelby horses grazing at the far side of the field in the shade, “I think Mark is going to propose to me.”

She sighed out a breath and couldn’t stop the way her eyes immediately went to Tommy’s face, waiting for his reaction. Y/n had accepted months ago that Tommy wouldn't ever see her the way she wanted him to, so she shut the door on those feelings and kept them buried under Mark’s affections. But she couldn’t help but worry that the lock on her heart was too weak now that she spoke to Tommy about impending marriage, she was powerless to stop the small hope that Tommy might tell her to say no, knew she’d run right into his arms if he wanted her to.

“I’m not sure what light you think I’ll be able to shed on the matter,” Tommy responded, his bored voice grating on Y/n’s final nerve.

“I should’ve known you’d be no help,” She huffed, pushing away from the tree and smoothing her skirts with angry hands. She made to stomp off back across the field, like she always did when Tommy irritated her, but a warm hand circling the entirety of her wrist stopped her in her tracks.

“Alright, love, alright, stop your tantrum,” Tommy was barely concealing a laugh behind his hand, but Y/n could see the humour clearly in his twinkling eyes.

“Shut up, Tommy,” Y/n replied, articulating her scowl with a harsh shove into Tommy’s side, “I’m just… not sure I want to marry him, at least, not so soon,”

Tommy pushed his hair out of his eyes and seemed to consider for a moment, “Well, don’t you like him?”

Y/n rolled her eyes, “Of course I like him, he’s sweet - kind to me, you know... Has a good job,”

“Well there you go, if you like him, why can’t you marry him?” Tommy said, so matter of fact that Y/n might have thought he’d mulled this over before.

“That’s just the thing, Tom. I like him, sure. But I just described him like he’s a pet dog, not a potential husband,” Tommy snorts at that and Y/n can’t help the little giggle that escapes in response, “I just… I always thought I’d be madly in love with whoever I was to marry, I’m scared I’ll regret it if I say yes,”

“What if you say no and regret it?” Tommy asked, his voice as soft as the breeze whispering over Y/n’s skin.

“You’re right. I don’t want to end up alone the rest of my life, and it’s not like anyone else is lining up for the chance to propose to me,” Y/n cringed at how obvious she sounded as she glanced at Tommy, she hunted for any change in those expressive eyes but came back disappointed when there was nothing.

Tommy said nothing more, sensing that Y/n was deep in thought, so they stood there in comfortable silence as the sun climbed higher into the afternoon sky.

Y/n felt bereft at the way her life had turned out. She and Ada used to dream of their weddings like all little girls did. They would excitedly tell each other all the details, what kind of dress they would wear, the colour of the bouquet they would hold, even the flavour of the wedding cake. They would clasp their little hands together and wish their dreams would come true, but there was one dream little Y/n never told Ada. The dream that a handsome blue eyed man would be waiting for her at the end of the aisle, he’d say she looked beautiful as he lifted her veil and they’d vow to belong to each other as long as they both lived.

Y/n's chest tightened sorrowfully as she felt that dream slipping through her fingers. No matter how tight she tried to hold onto it, she knew now that it would never come true.

“Come on,” Tommy spoke up, apparently done with the silence, “We can ride the horses back to the stables and I’ll see you home.”

Y/n felt pained by his words because they came from brotherly concern rather than the love she’d always wanted from him. He walked on ahead of her and Y/n closed her eyes, trying to find a way to barricade the door to her heart just a little more, so that maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much the next time Tommy smiled at her.

November 1913

Autumn came and went silently through the town of Small Heath. The residential area was completely taken up by dull houses and sooty factories, so Y/n always had to go searching for trees just beyond the cut if she wanted to see the change of the leaves before there weren’t any left. All that evidenced Autumn was a slight chill in the air and the constant heavy rain that deluged the narrow streets.

Y/n and Mark had married in that quiet Autumn a month ago in a small ceremony attended by only Mark’s family and the Shelbys, including Tommy. Life since then had been sweet, Y/n had to admit. Mark absolutely doted on her, hanging on her every whim to keep her happy, and Y/n found herself a little besotted with being Mrs Mark Johnson too, much to her surprise. At the wedding reception, Tommy had done nothing more than offer a muttered congratulations and brood in the corner alone for the rest of the night. But for once in her life, Y/n couldn’t find it within herself to actually care what Tommy was doing, thoroughly intent on enjoying a day that was all about her.

Winter then took Autumn’s place. Freezing air bit at bare faces, the town blanketed by a persistent cover of grey cloud. Y/n pulled her coat even tighter around herself as she made her way to the Garrison, praying that she’d find Tommy there since he’d been putting great effort into avoiding her recently. As she neared the place she hoped she’d find the second oldest Shelby, Y/n felt firmly resolute about her plan to talk to him, as she knew his stubbornness all too well. She knew that he’d let the silence between them stretch on until the end of time if she didn’t do something about it. So she steeled herself as she reached the heavy doors of the Garrison and walked inside.

She was immediately hit by the familiar smell of stale alcohol and tobacco permeating the air, barely containing a shudder as her senses tried to get used to the offending scent. Y/n quickly scanned the main area and didn’t find her target, so she walked over to Harry, the barkeep, and smiled at him as he finished wiping a glass.

“Hi, Harry. Is Tommy here?” She asked, hoping he’d at least caught sight of him today.

“He’s in there,” Harry replied, glancing over at the snug and nodding in that direction.

“Thanks, Harry,” Y/n gave her best sweet smile as payment, feeling a little bad about not buying a drink.

She pulled open the door to the snug and felt triumphant as she finally laid eyes on Tommy. He didn’t even bother to try and conceal the heavy sigh he huffed when he made eye contact with her, strengthening Y/n’s resolve that she would confront him about his avoidance even further.

“Hello, Thomas,” Y/n opened the conversation, inviting herself to sit at the table with him.

Tommy immediately brought out his pack of cigarettes, lit one and hastily shoved it between his lips as if he was trying to stop himself from speaking.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, smoke flowing out of his mouth with every word.

Y/n was puzzled at the question, “Is this not a public place?” She asked her own question back but didn’t wait for a response, “I’ve been trying to meet with you for weeks now, Tommy, but you always had some convenient excuse to avoid me,”

Tommy kept his face even and calm, the only tell that he’d been found out being a minute twitch of his lip, “There’s always business to attend to these days, Y/n,” He offered his meagre reasoning, another hasty excuse to hopefully placate her.

“Business,” Y/n couldn’t help but scoff, “Tommy, we haven’t had a conversation as long as this one since my wedding!” She didn’t miss the way Tommy’s shoulders straightened at the mention of the wedding. Curious.

“Why have you really been avoiding me, Tom?” She asked, softening her voice a little in hopes that Tommy would be more liable to answer truthfully.

But just as he’d opened his mouth to speak, in waltzed Arthur, the very embodiment of awkward timing, barrelling in like a rearing stallion, voice booming as loud as gunfire. Y/n rolled her eyes but couldn’t fight the smile that rose to her lips as Arthur pressed a rough kiss to the top of her head.

“And how’s married life treating the new Mrs Johnson, eh?” Arthur articulated his thinly veiled innuendo with a suggestive wink.

“Just fine, thank you, Arthur,” Y/n replied with a smirk, quite enjoying the way Arthur’s eyebrows rose into his hairline, surprised that she’d actually played along.

“I bet there’ll be tiny little versions of you running around Small Heath in no time at all, eh, love?” He garbled around the cork of a whiskey bottle he’d pulled out with his teeth, pouring the amber liquid into his glass.

“Well, that might not actually be the case,” Y/n smiled a little sadly, watching as Tommy sat up a little straighter, quirking a confused brow as a means to ask her to explain.

“Mark has been looking at a property in the countryside, about an hour away from here. If nobody outbids us we’ll be moving come New Year,” Y/n looked down at her hands, her fingers twisting themselves into knots as she tried to avoid Tommy’s penetrating eyes.

Arthur hummed but didn’t say anything on the matter, and Y/n knew Tommy wasn’t going to offer anything new, recognising that the contemplative look on his face meant silence for the foreseeable. So she felt compelled to continue on explaining herself.

“With all this talk of war getting closer and closer to us, we really want to settle down and start a family sooner rather than later,” She rambled, feeling a little interrogated even though neither man had said anything yet.

As Y/n flicked her eyes over to Tommy apprehensively, she saw that his jaw was completely set and he was gripping his whiskey glass so tight that his knuckles were white and his fist was shaking a little.

Y/n looked at him quizzically, trying to make him meet her eyes by some sort of telepathy, but Tommy’s gaze remained firmly fixed on his alcohol. She couldn’t understand why he’d be angry with her about this, her move hadn’t come as a shock to anyone who actually spoke to her often; it had been on the cards pretty much as soon as they were married. Maybe it was because Tommy thought she’d be happier here, maybe it was because he didn’t like her husband; how was she to know if he rebuffed her every attempt at communication?

Silence continued on for a minute before Arthur, characteristically oblivious to the tension, piped up again, “Well! The countryside, eh? Sounds marvellous, love,”

Tommy raised his eyebrows, as if in disbelief, and shook his head, dragging on the last fragments of his cigarette. Y/n muttered a quiet thanks to Arthur as he stood, saying something about another bottle of whiskey from his private collection to celebrate. Her eyes followed Arthur’s slightly drunken gait as he made his way out of the snug.

“Thomas, why are you sulking at me?” She interrogated immediately as the door shut.

Tommy stamped out his cigarette in the ash try, “I’m not sulking,” he replied, frowning.

“Well, you’re doing an excellent impression,” Y/n countered, sighing when Tommy’s lips didn’t even attempt a smile, “I just don’t understand why you can’t even pretend to be happy for me at least,”

Tommy’s shoulders sagged at that and he finally lifted his head up to meet Y/n’s eyes, “Don’t get upset ok?” He began carefully, and just by his tone of voice, Y/n knew she absolutely was going to get upset, “I just didn’t think you’d marry so soon, especially after our conversation in spring, you said he was like a pet dog, not a husband. Now all of a sudden you’re moving away? I know you Y/n, you love our town, what if you hate it in the country?”

Y/n’s face flushed hot, she was utterly incensed that Tommy thought these things about her marriage and apparently just chose to never say a word about it, “Firstly, if I remember correctly about that conversation in spring, you offered me no actually helpful advice when I was obviously asking for it!” Y/n was careful not to shout, so her voice came out like a hiss, “Then you practically encouraged me to marry him! Now you want to act as if you’re the font of all knowledge when it comes to my marriage.”

Tommy bit his lip and scrubbed a rough hand over his face, the way he did when he was trying not to get angry, “I just can’t help but think that your decisions have been too hasty, Y/n,” he supplied, any sweetness in his voice long gone.

The words wounded Y/n deeper than anything he’d said to her before, she felt the tears pricking at her eyes as she tried not to show that she was upset. All she’d ever wanted was this married life with him, but now that she’d moved on and accepted that it was never going to happen, Tommy chose to criticise her every decision, blissfully ignorant of the fact that she had worked so hard to get over him.

“I could hardly wait for you forever, Tom,” Y/n whispered, suddenly feeling exhausted as all the memories of her relationship with Tommy flashed in front of her eyes, she couldn’t help but feel it was such a waste, pining after him for all that time. Such a waste to crave the affections of a man who didn’t pay enough attention to her to notice she was utterly in love with him.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Tommy finally said, looking away from Y/n’s tearful eyes.

“If you had such strong opinions on the choices I made, who I was going to marry, where I was going to live, maybe you should’ve voiced them while you still could’ve done something about it,�� Y/n stood as soon as she finished her speech, walking towards the door when she was certain Tommy wasn’t going to speak again.

Tommy didn’t call after her when she left.

February 1917

The fire crackled distantly as Y/n stared blankly into the flames, amber light casting lonely shadows onto the walls of her cottage home. The room was near silent, but the thud of her heart in her ears was almost deafening.

She clutched a telegram in her trembling hands and didn't bother to fight her tears as she read it for the fourth or fifth time, hoping this time she might make sense of the words written there on the page. But she didn’t know whether she couldn’t understand the sentences or just couldn’t believe the words were true.

Before the war hit England in July 1914, Y/n and Mark had spent a wonderfully happy, albeit short, married life. A few months before Mark was shipped off to France like every other man fit to fight, he worked as a clerk in the postal office of their little village, while Y/n looked after their house. She tended the garden too and often found peace planting flowers and thinking up new arrangements. Mark would come home every evening and greet Y/n with a kiss on her cheek before they sat down to eat dinner. Life was peaceful and picture perfect, no fighting, no drunkards lining the streets, no constant threat of crime. Y/n would be lying if she said she didn’t miss the chaos of Small Heath at least a little bit, but somewhere between their move to the country and Mark’s constant devotion, Y/n well and truly fell in love with him.

Now, as Y/n looked around her desolate sitting room, she realised she had absolutely nothing to prove that their love had ever happened. No matter how hard they had tried, God wouldn’t bless them with a child, and in the suffocating silence of this house, Y/n suddenly ached with longing to hear the patter of little feet running into her arms. At least she’d be comforted by the knowledge that a piece of their father resided still in this cottage, could look at their faces and still see his eyes looking back. But there was nothing, just utter loneliness.

Up until now, Y/n had grasped at any small shred of hope that Mark would return, ever since he left three years ago. She wrote to him every week, prayed for him every night, even though she wasn’t sure there was anyone listening anymore. She wished for his safe return and dreamed of the day he would warm their bed again. But now, there was no hope left in all the Earth that Y/n could beg for. There was no marriage, no husband to speak of as Y/n sat completely alone in this world, still clinging to that damned letter, her tears ruining the ink that spelled the end of her life.

Mark Johnson - Killed In Action.

July 1919

Y/n stepped off the train and took a heaving breath in as she tried to calm her nerves. Tendrils of anxiety curled around her chest as she carefully walked up the steps to leave the station, she knew she was only a short walk away from her home town and the odd need to run away was rising through her body.

Only the month prior, Y/n had sold her cottage in the countryside, finally accepting that nothing was keeping her tied to that place anymore, accepting that she couldn’t fit in without Mark. In the village, every corner she turned was a reminder of her husband, the route he used to walk to work, their favourite spot in the park, the station where she'd kissed him for the last time. She twisted her wedding ring around her finger nervously, she’d kept it on even after Mark's memorial service, it seemed a simple service she could do her husband to wear it, to remember him every day.

Y/n decided to rent a flat just down the road from where she’d grown up, and the familiarity of the streets comforted her as she entered her new home, dropping her few belongings in the hallway. It wasn’t much, but as a woman alone Y/n didn’t really see the point of buying a big house with no one else to keep her company. She sagged against the door, suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to get a whiskey, so she decided to leave the flat for a while and hoped that the Garrison would clear her head.

Almost as soon as she opened the door to the pub, Y/n could hear John’s familiar voice shouting over to someone at the bar and her eyes immediately landed on all of the Shelbys sat around a table, drinking various spirits and pints of ale. The relief she felt as she counted the boys and noted that they were all intact and alive was brief, she couldn't believe her bad luck that she had run into every Shelby the minute she set foot back in Small Heath. Y/n quickly scurried up to the bar, hopefully unnoticed by the family, deciding that she definitely wasn't having this reunion sober.

She had barely taken a sip of her whiskey when a voice called to her from across the room, "Well isn't this a sight for sore bloody eyes," Y/n heard Polly's familiar drawl and didn't need to look up from her glass to know all the attention was suddenly on her. Y/n gave up on the dainty sipping and knocked back the rest of her whiskey as the Shelbys began to descend like vultures to their prey. She focussed on the way the alcohol spread through her body, warming her and giving her that little bit more confidence as she gave a tight hug to her surrogate mother, "Hi, Pol," she said with a smile.

"Now what the 'ell are you doing back 'ere, love?" Arthur spoke as he nodded to the barkeep to refill your glass.

Y/n sighed, overwhelmed by the sudden questioning even though it was only Arthur who had asked anything, "You ok?" Polly whispered, squeezing her arm. Y/n nodded quickly and took another gulp of whiskey, "I wasn't counting on seeing you all so suddenly, I only got here half an hour ago!" She laughed nervously, "But now's as good a time as any to say I've moved back here. Surprise!" There was a chorus of congratulations and happy remarks, but there was only one person's face Y/n searched for, and she finally felt like she was home when she found Tommy's blue eyes.

He looked different, older definitely, but there was a cold harshness in his eyes that Y/n had never seen before. She shivered at what those eyes might have seen in France.

"It's good to have you back round here, Y/n," Tommy said lowly, and Y/n felt like everyone else in the room had faded away as she let Tommy's presence wash over her.

"Let's get a bottle to celebrate!" Arthur boomed, ruffling her hair like he did when she was a child, "Where's that husband of yours?" Y/n sucked in a sharp breath at the tactless question, fighting back tears as she tried to remember that it wasn't their fault if they didn't know Mark had passed.

"Probably at home looking after the kids, eh, Y/n?" John chimed in, nausea rising in Y/n's stomach as she tried to get a word in edgewise before someone said something they would regret.

"Nah, he's probably avoiding the pub, you know he can't handle his booze," Tommy was the one to pipe up that time and Y/n hated the cruel edge to his laugh, she'd hoped he'd grown up enough to get over his childish dislike of her husband.

"Tommy," Polly warned in that low, threatening voice of hers, picking up on Y/n's quickened breathing and tearful eyes. But Tommy carried on laughing, oblivious to his Aunt's insistence that they stop making fun, "You have to admit, he's always been a bit of a boring bastard," and there was the last straw. Before she'd even told her arm to move, Y/n's hand was flying at Tommy's face, slapping him right across the cheek so hard his head actually looked like it might detach from his neck. It happened so quickly Y/n wasn't quite sure if she had actually done it or not, but the boys had stopped laughing instantaneously, and the way Polly physically flinched told her she had genuinely just smacked Tommy Shelby. "How dare you," Y/n hissed before she could think better of it, her voice cold as steel, "My husband is dead, Thomas, have some fucking respect," The entire pub had gone silent, all staring intently at the scene unfolding, but wincing at Y/n's words, like they were watching a car accident happen right in front of them, too morbidly curious to look away. To his credit, John looked thoroughly ashamed of himself even though he hadn't said anything insulting and Arthur's eyes looked like they might pop out of his head, Y/n might have laughed had the cause been different. "Y/n, love, I'm sorry, we-" Arthur reached out as if to comfort her, but he cut off his sentence when Y/n flinched away from his touch, too overwhelmed to be crowded by him. She didn't know when she'd started to cry, but tears were flooding down her cheeks and pooling on the floorboards at her feet.

"Right. John, Arthur? Time to go," Polly insisted, ever the observant one, she knew that Tommy and Y/n had some talking to do. Neither man moved at first, but all it took was for Polly to level them with her menacing glare and they were hurrying out of the pub faster than a horse at full gallop.

Tommy and Y/n stood in silence for a moment, Y/n being too scared to speak because she desperately didn't want to acknowledge that she'd just slapped him.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry," Tommy finally whispered, and his voice was so genuinely sincere that it broke the final shred of dignity that Y/n cared to hold onto, and she started to cry louder than she had even let herself cry at Mark's memorial. Tommy opened his arms and that was all the prompting Y/n needed to fall straight into his chest, she sniffled as he cradled her head against his steadily beating heart, he shushed her softly and held her tight, "Come on now, love, let's go in the other room yeah? We can talk away from all the prying eyes,"

Y/n allowed herself to be led into the snug, struck by how familiar it was even after all these years, Tommy lowered her carefully onto the couch, as if he was afraid she might fall over.

"I'm sorry for hitting you, Tommy," Y/n babbled as soon as her breathing evened out, "It's not your fault, you didn't know Mark was dead,"

Tommy rubbed his cheek and smiled lightly, "Don't apologise, I deserved it. You've got some power in that hand, you know? Not sure any man has ever hit me that hard," Y/n giggled despite herself, sniffing and wiping at her face to dry the tears.

"So how come you're moving back here?" Tommy asked as she sagged into the couch, he avoided asking about Mark's death, sensing that she'd talk about it in her own time.

"Everything back at the village just reminds me of him, I couldn't stand it. Every time I left the house I couldn't stop thinking about how I waved him off to France, to fucking war, and didn't know he was never coming back. So I just isolated myself, only left the house to buy food, never made any friends because I couldn't bring myself to walk around without him by myside, I couldn't walk around as if nothing had happened," Tommy just hummed, knowing there was more to say and just waiting for Y/n to go on, "So when I finally sold the house, I decided to make a new start somewhere I knew would be easy to fit in,"

"You were right, you know," Y/n laughed into the quiet of the room, "I really did miss it round here. I missed how unpredictable it was, the routine of the village was hard to get used to but..." She teared up all over again as her husband's smiling face flashed in her mind, "I really did love him,"

"I'm sorry," was all Tommy said as Y/n swallowed around the lump in her throat.

"I didn't think I'd fall in love with him so deeply. At the start, my main reason for marrying him was because I thought I had no other option," Y/n confessed, not entirely sure why she was spilling all of her secrets to the man she used to love.

"I always thought you liked him a lot either way," Tommy said, a confused edge to his tone, "You used to talk about him constantly,"

Y/n laughed a genuine laugh at that, reminded suddenly of herself at seventeen, "I only talked about him so much because I thought it would make you jealous,"

Tommy's head shot up at that, and Y/n was once again concerned about the structural integrity of his neck, "Jealous?" He reiterated, pausing the rolling of a new cigarette to stare at Y/n expectantly.

"Yeah, I used to hint at you all the time about my very massive crush on you. But for all the good your intelligence apparently does, you never got it. Or, you know, you were just trying to let me down gently,"

Tommy looked like he was about to choke, or possibly stop breathing all together, "Hold on, you liked me?"

Y/n rolled her eyes at Tommy, assuming he was overreacting on purpose, "I know, it's embarrassing Tommy, don't make fun of me. But yes, I didn't just like you. I loved you, Tommy, ever since I was eleven,"

"Oh my god," Tommy breathed, suddenly struggling to get his rolling paper to stick.

"What? There's no need to be dramatic, Thomas," Y/n said, voice snippy due to her slight mortification.

"I just... I liked you too, for years, but I thought you didn't have any feelings for me since you were going out with Mark,"

Y/n was sure her blood had turned cold in her veins, either that or someone must have dumped a bucket of ice over her head, "Are you serious right now? Tommy, you should've just told me! I was being so obvious with my hints and you just refused to see it!"

Tommy looked indignant as he gave up on rolling his cigarette, "Well, why didn't you just tell me!" Y/n couldn't deny that that was an excellent point, "Anyway, I was sure someone as beautiful as you couldn't possibly have feelings for someone like me,"

Y/n slumped in her seat, overwhelmed by the revelations, she smiled as she imagined how she would've reacted to this information when she was a teenager all those years ago.

"Oh, Tommy, you're an idiot!" Tommy started to laugh and Y/n couldn't help soon joining in, feeling weightless for the first time since the war. She gazed into Tommy's eyes again, searched for the same look they'd had when he was in his early twenties, even though she knew she wouldn't find it. He'd changed so much, they both had, but in that moment she wondered if they really could just be the same two kids who loved each other so much, couldn't help but wonder how their lives would've played out if they'd both had the courage to admit their feelings.

Y/n didn't know when it happened, but their faces were suddenly only a hair's width apart, she could feel his breath whispering over her mouth, he smelled sweet despite the tobacco that clung to him. Y/n's eyes fluttered closed out of instinct, her heart thudding as she let herself be intoxicated by Tommy's entire being. But just as their noses touched, she sprung away from Tommy like he'd burned her.

"I'm sorry, that was-"

"No, don't apologise," Y/n cut him off before he could start spiralling, "Tommy... I've loved you since the day I met you, and... I think I always will love you, no matter what happens, or what has happened. You mean the world to me," she stared at her hands, afraid of the vulnerability she felt as she laid her heart at Tommy's feet, "But you have to understand... I loved my husband too, and I can't help but feel like I'm betraying him, because I'm falling for you so fast all over again. I'd - I'd feel so guilty if I rushed into something with you when he loved me so much before he passed. I can't just forget him."

"I won't ask you to," Tommy replied, tentatively putting his warm hand on Y/n's knee, making her look up at him, "But I have loved you too, and I love you right now, and I'll love you tomorrow. I won't ever be able to forgive myself if I let you get away again, not now that I know you feel the same. I want to be with you, whenever you're ready. We can take it slow,"

Y/n was breathless, like all the air in the room had suddenly been sucked out, she was completely consumed by thousands of thoughts running through her head all at once, "What does slow look like?" She whispered, entirely swept up by the ocean of love in Tommy's eyes.

"It starts like this," He murmured softly, taking Y/n by the hand and brushing his lips against her knuckles, "Then it might continue if you'll accompany me to dinner soon?"

"I'd like that Tommy," Y/n replied, a wave of relief flowing through her body, grateful that she could find love again at her own pace.

Tommy leaned in slowly and placed the most gentle and reverent kiss on Y/n's cheek, looking so deeply into her eyes that she thought he might be gazing directly at her soul, his voice was full of adoration as he said, "I promise I won't ever let you go,"

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