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#shenanigans
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“You can call me Moody, by the way. What’s your name?”

The demon stopped for a second. 

“You can’t be serious about this. Usually humans scream when they see me.”

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“No offense, but you kind of remind me of a burnt marshmallow, just… really tall. Let me repeat myself: what’s your name?”

“…I don’t really… have one. Not that you humans can pronounce, anyway.”

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“How about Ashes, then?”

“That’ll do, I suppose.”

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“I really need to crush on someone around my own age.”

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“I mean, just so long as they’re over 18, it’s just a number, right~?”

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“But the guy I like… is 19? It barely counts.”

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Spaces out in 21.

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dear people of the internet,

Here are some of my Quarantine Shenanigans (w/ my friends)

Me and my friends playing tic tac toe on my forehead:

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I can’t really explain this one:

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My friends making me one of those valentine’s day cards with this stupid pick up line i heard once:

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Me saying many strange lines like this one:

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Me and my friends decided to play Animal Jam and we did a ritual and then started calling each other stinky:

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My friends pretending to be sugar daddies on my instagram posts, mocking actual sugar daddies the have commented on my posts:

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(follow my instagram if you want)

sincerely, 425

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Me: Well, I am descended from a bunch of survivalist anti-authoritarian whackjobs.

WW Manager: Whoa, you’re starting to scare me! After the stuff you told me about working for the post office yesterday and that I’m starting to think I should be leery of you.

Manager: You should be leery of her. Although if there was a war I’d take her with me.

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Manager: The photos of the saddles look good, and it’s great to have them all on the site. Except…

Me, internally: Here it comes.

Manager: Next time can we get the different saddles the right size of pad? Like this one looks okay, but this one looks ridiculous.

WW Manager: Now I know where she gets it from!

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WW Manager and Manager texted me within two minutes of each other to tell me to come in at noon instead of 10am. But I only noticed the one from Manager and replied to him before gratefully crawling back into bed.

I get another text from WW Manager like half an hour saying “Oh, I see how it is!”

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Bruh izuku wearing tap shoes instead of sneakers so when he runs which is a lot you just hear an obnoxious taptaptaptap

Omg FUJI NO 😆I CAN’T GET THAT OUT OF MY HEAD NOW

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So, for context we have 3 credit card/debit card machines.

One is only for card pre-authorizations that we use for the saddle trials. However, we don’t use it to actually force the payment. We use one of the other two for that.

However, this morning WW Manager was unattended and he used the pre-auth machine to “complete” the pre-auth. Meaning I had to figure out how to “settle” the thing tonight. (Because if you don’t settle the machine the money doesn’t transfer).

So I keep poking buttons until I find the “Settlement” option. It gives me the option to Settle All or Settle Debit/Credit/Gift Cards. I have to settle all, because no cards actually got used in the machine today.

I grit my teeth and select Settle All. The receipt paper begins to pour out of the machine, printed with every pre-auth we’ve done since the last time I cleared the machine (approximately June last year). I start to panic as I watch tens of thousands of dollars of pre-auths relentlessly print. I’m imagining the clusterfuck of angry calls as everyone’s credit card just got charged for the full price of every saddle they’ve ever taken on trial.

“END OF RECORD” it prints.

Then it prints the card settlement for today. With the amount of the pre-authorization that got completed today. And that amount only.

I melt into a relieved puddle and tear the paper after it also inexplicably prints a record specifically for the non-existent gift card transactions.

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