#sheryl talks nonsense

[makeitpoppy]

there's a goddamn gap in my vaccination cards from around 2013 to 2018, when i was a broody teenager who was afraid of needles, and now i dont know what fucking vaccines im missing so i can get them klwadlkhdfhalhd

#personal #trigger warning #tw: vaccines #i guess? #you can never play it too save #sheryl talks nonsense

[helloliriels]

Sleepless in London

PREV | AO3 FIC | MOVIE COVER

“Rosie … ?”

John came walking back into the kitchen to find Rosie climbing back up onto her seat at the counter.

He bought himself a little time by pouring her a cup of tea. Making sure it was in her favourite tea cup. The one with a little chip in it, from when she was younger … As he thought about how to ask … exactly what had led to them reading the letters he had so carefully hidden away … ?

He took a deep breath. Centering himself. Not letting the anger slip into his voice. The frustration. 

He found he was doing that a lot lately … 

.

He looked at Rosie. Swinging her feet, and delighted at her handiwork with the letters … 

. The letters … 

.

John sighed again.

“Rosie -” he began, “I-” he felt the letter in his pocket, and then stared hopelessly at the neatly laid rows of piles on the countertop … “I put these away, Rosie? The letters ? Remember?”

He handed her cup over and leaned his elbows onto the counter as he drank from his. 

“What made you bring them back out for Sam?” 

.

He was proud of the tone of voice he had managed. Reasonable. Curious. Calm.

Even so, Rosie was spinning her tea with her finger. She looked shyly, back up at him. Her eyes were so much like Mary’s when she knew she had done something a bit not good … 

He couldn’t stay angry with her.

“I found one onna floor?” she explained, pointing, “an’ I couldn't read all of the words? So Sam help me!”

John smiled, "helped you? That was nice of her."

Her dimples could win over Satan himself. He was sure of it.

“And these-?” he asked, then, indicating the rest … ?

.

“We wanted … we wanted to see if there were more?!” Rosie argued, yawning.

“More?” John asked, brow furrowed.

“More good ones!” she grinned, “like Sheryl’s!” She was taking her time, spinning her cup and slurping loudly if she did sip, “but we agreed,” she shook her head sagely, “nonna - none of the ones were like Sheryl’s.” 

.

“You getting sleepy?” John noticed how she was repeating her words. The way she only did when she lost track of a thought and was too tired to focus. 

Rosie nodded.

.

“How’s about … you drink up?” He pushed her tea closer, “while I read this letter then … ‘kay?”

Pulling it from his pocket, John looked it over again.

.            It was the one with the little love heart on it …? The one Rosie had tried to hand him on the very first day … nearly three weeks ago?

He remembered now …

Tossing it along with a handful of rainbow coloured envelopes back into the sitting room … and chuckled. It was his own damn fault!

“You really want me to read this one?” he asked, licking his lip as he took the plunge, and opened it.

.

She climbed up onto the counter. Watching eagerly as John unfolded the letter and laid it out. Eyes settling on what was clearly not what he had been expecting … 

Dear Doctor John Watson and Little Rosie Watson …

He read aloud. Pausing.

It was surprising to see their names … their real names … ?

Rosie was catching his eye, glittering as he halted at this curiosity alone. None of the other letters had said anything but ‘Sleepless and Daughter’ or ‘Sleepless and Seven’ as instructed by the radio station.

I know we're supposed to write 'Sleepless and Seven' or some such nonsense, under a misguided attempt at anonymity … however, the attempt seemed feeble, if not futile … You will see my return address on this correspondence, in case it is of interest to you … and I find no reason to avoid this transparency.

“Lovely,” he coughed, clearing his throat. He eyed the address on the back, “‘least we know where to send the fuzz when he turns out to be a stalker?”

“Da-ddy!” she chid, giggling.

.

He chuckled and began again:

(continued beneath cut)

Do not be alarmed … as your name was simple for me to deduce

Simple?! He paused, rolling the word ‘deduce’ on his tongue … 

Not a commonly used verb, certainly? Who talks like that … ? He shook his head. Definitely public school.

Ruling out the other seven that begin with ‘Wat’ including: Waterhouse, Waterman, Watanabe or Wattana … all more likely to be American or Asian-

“Hmm,” he nodded, “that's fair …”

-that left only a few choices … And your accent bore distinct hints of Scottish descent. It was not a guess.

.

“Cheeky bugger, isn’t he?” John mused aloud. 

He had no doubt in his mind already that this one was written by a man. Even if the typed font gave nothing away.

Rosie had her hands over her mouth to hide her big grin.

I should say first …

John started, and again stopped. Chuckling aloud this time, “but you didn’t!  You ‘DEDUCED’ my name, first! Prat!” 

John glared, teasingly, down at Rosie, “and you think this is my soulmate???”

She poked at him and he continued … 

.

“Aha!” he gloated, poking at the page, “there’s always the predictable bit!” He skimmed reading it … “da-da-da … da-da-da … ”

never written a letter like this before …  … unlikely to do so again …

"... We know, mate!” John rolled his eyes. Unbelievable.

But then he paused in his scanning. He turned and caught Rosie’s eye as he read the next line:

And as you are no doubt getting inundated … with piles of letters by now … 

He blinked:

you will be tired of reading this … already …

“How … the hell …?” John was dumbfounded. 

.

He gazed again over the stacks of letters laid out on the counter … and then back at this one … 

No one else had assumed he would get anything but their letter? And yet this man did? He narrowed his eyes and leaned in, reading more closely:

I regret … that the radio host interrupted you before you could tell us what invalided you out of the military prematurely … 

John raised an eyebrow. “Couldn’t guess that one, then, eh genius?!” he mocked, rolling his shoulder, “Fantastic. Rosie! Get this …?!

… or how you ended up as a London GP. Which. You. Are!

John had punctuated every word. Simultaneously amazed and somewhat speechless at the audacity of this man's ‘deduction’. It was ridiculous! Ludicrous! Or …

“Who is this, Rosie? Do we know him???” he scanned through the next section, hovering with each point:

… You are also an excellent marksman …  And I deduce!!!

“That word again … hnngghh! … “ John made a gutteral sound:

… that despite your humility - you no doubt have many hidden and fascinating talents to be discovered.

“Well, ta! I most certainly do!” John was arguing with the writer, muttering something about three continents that Rosie couldn’t quite catch, and was laughing as he did so! Shaking his head in disbelief. This man!!!

… although your true talent is being wasted. 

“Oh please, DO tell!!!”

.

He wasn’t sure why he’d just shouted it to the echoing room at nearly midnight. But Rosie thought it was hilarious.

John cleared his throat and flattened the page back out as he scanned for where he had left off:

… although your true talent is being wasted …

He re-read,

… You are clearly a storyteller, and should be … writing …

John had to take a moment on that one.

He had always wanted to write.

.

He recalled Ella, his therapist, when he had first lost Mary. How she had encouraged him to start a blog. To write about anything and everything that happened to him. That it would help him to recover. And how he had argued back … 

Out of bitterness and resentment at the time:

            “Nothing happens to me.” 

.

The blog still sat untouched. 

.

“Daddy?” Rosie was by his side. He wasn’t sure how long he had stood there. Lost in thought?

He pulled her up to sit on the counter next to him, while he read, now thoroughly engrossed in the letter, the words … only barely whispered as he read and Rosie snuggled into his shoulder:

I have not looked up your records, although it would be incredibly simple to do so.

Bit presumptuous. John thought. He recalled the security status on his and Mary’s last mission records and wished the man the best of luck! 

Nor will I make any attempts to search your profile online … As I doubt you have an internet presence, under the circumstances … and something tells me it would not tell the whole story of who you are, even if you did.

He wasn’t wrong.

If you do not journal or keep a private blog, I would be incredibly surprised.

John stopped reading again and took a deep breath, exhaling, “… yeah … so am I. Maybe it’s time I started, eh kiddo?” He ruffled Rosie’s hair. Feeling her murmur against his chest.

All of this to say

John finished up,

if you are still reading this, and if you are still single this time next year - which I doubt …

He felt a soft smile tugging at the corner of his mouth … 

I would invite you to try an experiment … with me.

He leaned down and read it a bit more slowly. The feeling intimate. Almost daring.

… I will be waiting … at the top of Big Ben at midnight. Behind the clock. New Year's Eve … With a bottle of champagne … And two glasses … As I can tell you are a hopeless romantic …

A soft chuckle escaped at that call out.

… and I doubt you've seen the view from up there. There are few who have.

Rosie shifted and was sitting up. Rubbing her eyes. Watching him.

At the very least, I can promise it will be a memorable night for you … Even if you decide at the end of it that I am not ultimately your type, or even your preferred sexual orientation …

John nodded at the confirmation of his guess earlier.

… and I do not expect anything of you … but your company and a toast to ring in the new year.

Rosie was looking at him eagerly. 

John picked up the letter. Glancing at the sign-off and suddenly feeling self-conscious. There it was:

.

Sherlock Holmes

.

He decided to joke it off.

“Well … that is reassuring,” he nodded, folding the letter up. “Not going to let some posh twat snog me without my permission!” 

… but he had his fond eyes still fixed on the page …

.

"Ready for bed, kiddo?" 

She jumped into his arms, and he lowered her slowly to the ground to grab her floppy bunny and make her way upstairs … 

The last words of the letter playing through his head, over and over:

Do give brave little Watson my best regards. As I have no doubt she will grow up to be a game changer. Not unlike her father. Also, please inform her - if you have not already - that being single is not the worst crime. Not living your life to the fullest however, might be. Do take care, John. Sincerely, Sherlock Holmes

John lay awake.

Staring through the skylight at the stars above.

.          … His body ached.

.

He hadn't been sleeping well.

It wasn’t a lie ... when Rosie admitted to the entire country that he didn’t sleep at all. Some nights. It was a miracle he was functioning really … He was a doctor. He knew the long-term effects of going without sleep.

But at this point … He had been sleepless for so long … He could hardly remembered a time when he’d had a good night’s rest? The long silence wiping his memory of not just the nightmares … but also the dreams … 

‘They say that those who’ve loved once … are far more likely to love again.  John? … Do you think it’s possible that you could learn to love another?’

He could feel her words played again, as they rang out to millions of listeners on the radio. Along with the uncomfortable silence that had followed …

“It’s hard to imagine.” he’d replied a moment too late, by radio standards. His voice hoarse with emotion, “I’m not sure that anyone could take her place. And I wouldn’t want them to. I’d want to respect and love them for who they are … and to be honest - Dr. Irene - I’m not sure that I’m ready.”

John rolled over and took the letter from his nightstand. Staring at it. 

Blue in the soft glow of the moonlit room ...

.

Then pulled out his laptop … and began typing:

He stared at the words a moment. Double-checking the settings. It was still set to private. 

The Blog of Dr. John H. Watson January 29th: Something happened to me. I met someone. Or rather, I might meet someone next year. I don’t know. He sounds like a madman. He’s posh. A bit public school. And I know nothing about him really. Perhaps I'm mad to even entertain the idea? Because I am thinking about it. Guess that makes two of us then. Me and the madman.

Me and Sherlock Holmes.

No one but him could  stumble upon this page if they looked it up …

.        No one but him … could see.

.

He hit publish. 

.

Then he laid back and shut his eyes.

And somehow … 

.        Fell into a dream.

.

....... (to be continued)

@johnlocky @fluffbyday-smutbynight @chinike @rhasima @mydogwatson @kettykika78 @mxster-jocale @cupidford @meetinginsamarra @peageetibbs @calaisreno @7-percent @john-smiths-jawline @anyway-kindness @swissmissing @inevitably-johnlocked @totallysilvergirl @kittenmadnessandtea @topsyturvy-turtely @safedistancefrombeingsmart @colourfulwatson @holmesianlove @kabubsmagga @peanitbear @copperplatebeech @tiverrr @pocketwatchofmycroft @mutedsilence @2smach @loki-lock @daltongraham @amyreadsandstresses @raina-at @discordantwords @gregorovitchworld @bluebellofbakerstreet @sarahthecoat @reveling-in-mayhem @masterofhounds @missdeliadili @mysterythecat @iamjustreading

@midgemao @ileenhaddockhawkins @storytellingdreamer @fuckcannibals @cortinita @a-clithridiate-in-my-heart @charlies-storybook @quickslvxr

janiesprings janetm74 tinchensblog myriath iwlyanmw youcouldcallmegus lilithcroft dragonnan stellacartography

#sleepless in london #chapter updates! #helloliriels #new post up on AO3 #johnlock #sleepless in seattle #au

[cdyssey]

20, 26, and/or 31 for Abbott Ask Game please!

Hell yeah!

20. Share an acting moment that you appreciate!

Have three more!

Sheryl Lee Ralph in the entirety of the "Fire" episode, but oh, God, I'm endlessly thinking of that break in her goddamn voice when she commented on the firetruck matching Mel's hair. "Marvelous." SLR has such an ironclad grip on Barbara's physicality too—the way she was holding herself at that moment... it was devastatingly clear that she was this close to shattering on that classroom floor.

MORE SHERYL APPRECIATION. Whatever energy she was on in this last episode HSIOHDIOHIOSHOID. God almighty—her saying jackass with that shit-eating grin. I love Barbara Howard.

Here's some Tyler love as well! He plays the "straight man" so well, usually balancing out the antics of the more zanier members of the cast with his famous look-at-the-camera reaction shots, but when he does get a chance to show an unexpected side of Gregory, he absolutely knocks it out of the park. One of my favorite Gregory moments from this season is when he's doing a talking head about being happy that he's finally receiving his father's approval. His smile is absolutely radiant here, and yet, tinged with a little pathos as well because TJW has done such an excellent job of communicating the fraught nature of the relationship. His happiness here has a complicated history, which Tyler so wonderfully embodies.

26. Something you'd like to see in a future episode?

BEGGING FOR A BOTTLE EPISODE. TRAP THIS CAST SOMEWHERE AND LET THEM GO FERAL HIOHDOIS!!

It'd be so much fun!!

31. What does Abbott mean to you?

Oh, gosh, right now?

So, so much.

When I started the show last November, I was in a very stressful season of my life between grad school woes and other IRL nonsense; I needed a breath of fresh air, something funny and good and heartfelt to escape into, and Abbott was there, and it's been a comfort for me ever since.

But beyond that, through this fandom, I've met and/or interacted with so many wonderful people, some of whom have become dear friends, which is what makes being a fandom special, really—the thousands of connections you can forge between strangers.

I'm grateful to anyone who has come to my Tumblr and stayed for my silly, little thoughts and insanely angsty fics. And I'm grateful to the mutuals who have replied to my posts and come shouted with and/or at me in my DMs. To the Anons who have sent me prompts and tormented me with deliciously sad headcanons. To my friends in various Discord servers or chats whom I talk to on a nigh daily basis!! To the folks in Delusion Town—you know who you assholes are—I'm a little in love with all of you.

But, really, to anyone I've talked to in the past five-ish months, I'm so lucky that our brainrots have aligned at precisely the same time.

Abbott Ask Game

#maggie blogs #s: abbott elementary #oh here I go hdisohfo being sentimental on the main

[shineeis5]

Guys, help me out with a little thing please?

Do you think 195 dollars/month is a good income to pay for basic living?

#I’m trying to see something #Brasil #sheryl talks nonsense

[things2mustdo]

Bitcoin is further evidence that the “glass ceiling,” the idea that women are kept from reaching the ranks in corporations and in financial success because of a nebulous “patriarchy,” is nonsense.

Economists have disproved the glass ceiling on more than one occasion in the past, so the more well-read will not be shocked by this. Yet, the existence of the glass ceiling has remained a major talking point for feminists. The silence of feminists during the rise of Bitcoin has been deafening.

Bitcoin is an interesting case study because it is modern and doesn’t have the excuses that you hear when the glass ceiling argument breaks out. There is no Bitcoin establishment or “old boys’ club,” because Bitcoin has no establishment. Bitcoin is hardly established, and there is no one central authority.

Feminists claim that “institutions have always had biases” and “it’s a man’s game,” but Bitcoin didn’t come with any biases. It didn’t come with anything. It was nothing ten years ago, and its meteoric growth is well-known.

Bitcoin was created in 2009, a time where women had established themselves in various industries, most notably tech (see: Meg Whitman, Sheryl Sandberg). Nine years later, only three percent (at most) of Bitcoin use (suggested through Bitcoin community engagement) is by women.

Is this the patriarchy keeping women from investing? No. There is nothing that stops women from investing in Bitcoin. Women don’t even need to go to banks to introduce an intermediary which could discriminate against them.

So why aren’t more women investing in Bitcoin? There are a number of reasons for this.

1. Bitcoin is Boring

There are no emotions involved in cryptocurrency investing. Women are more likely to get involved in areas that stir their emotions, from the social sciences to humanitarian work to political rallies.

Bitcoin is mathematical. It was created with a white paper and some computer programming. Since more women take up studies in the arts or humanities than math, it is more difficult to understand the concept and takes more work.

Also, because women prefer soft subjects to hard ones, women end up in jobs related to the arts and humanities versus the hard sciences. They will be more likely surrounded by men and mostly women that also did not study math and computer science and will not be interested in—or understand—Bitcoin.

In addition, Bitcoin isn’t tangible. You can’t feel it in your hands, so you cannot wave it around to boost or lower your status without hopping on a male-centric Reddit page (HODL!!). This reduces the emotional connection to it because there is no physical thing to attach a feeling to. Where money can be a sign of prosperity or options, the numbers in a bit wallet are less tangible.

2. There Is A Lot Of Risk

Women generally value security and strength, which we have seen in relationship dynamics and the number of careers chosen as opposed to entrepreneurs. Men are more willing to take chances.

One of Bitcoin’s tenets is that it is less risky than fiat dollars because it is not subject to inflation and to crumbling governments, so it should be more stable. However, Bitcoin is still young and has a wildly fluctuating value. It is this perceived value that people see as risky, not the idea. It is these wild fluctuations in value that appeal to men.

Bitcoin is also a long-term investment. Bitcoin believers believe the cryptocurrency will be more durable than fiat and will be a superior currency. Women are much more likely to spend and distribute wealth than to build it through investing.

3. Bitcoin Is Competitive

Men eat what we kill. We evolved to eat the animals we hunted, and we still do that in the modern economy. In a tribal setting, the man that hunted the most for his tribe was rewarded with more power and more women to bang. We evolved to be competitive and to fight for the top spot.

These days, men are more likely to participate in sports and more likely to try new things to get ahead (see here). Bitcoin is competitive with other cryptocurrencies as people (men) race to market and grow their currency of choice. Bitcoin is also competitive as a store of wealth. The more men own, the more men can use our primal brains to associate with power and sex.

These are the reasons why only three percent of Bitcoin users—a completely decentralized, open world without bias—are women. These are the same reasons that men make more money than women in the workplace. It isn’t the patriarchy. It’s the evolutionary and behavioral differences in men and women that decide the numbers.

Men are competitive, find freedom in long-term wealth, and are more excited about new ideas and a new, selfish way to increase wealth. At least, more than women.

Read More: Bitcoin Is Creating A New Class Of Millionaires

Right at this very second, the largest transfer of wealth in the history of humanity is underway.  It has been going on since 2009, but it’s really picked up speed in the last 6 months.  A couple of days ago, I wrote a detailed post on RVF explaining Bitcoin in layman’s terms.  I strongly suggest that every reader of this post spend 10 minutes on that explanation, but if you’re too lazy then here’s the summary:

Bitcoin is the world’s largest cryptocurrency, essentially money for the Internet.  It is an open source Internet protocol, like HTTP.  It was hypothesized and first developed by an anonymous author or group under the name “Satoshi Nakamoto”.

Bitcoin is pioneering the idea of a deflationary currency, something which has never been possible before in humanity’s history.  Gold and silver come close, but not all of it has been dug out of the ground yet.  The only two possibilities for Bitcoin are that its value goes to zero, or increases.  There is no possibility that the value ever decreases or stabilizes (in the medium term).  In the long term, Bitcoin’s value will increase at a decreasing rate, but never stop, as it can be lost but not replaced.

Unlike gold and silver, Bitcoin can be essentially perfectly subdivided, and transmitted anywhere on the planet for almost nothing between any two parties with an Internet connection.

Bitcoin is decentralized like the Tor network, so it cannot be regulated or controlled by any government or authority body.

One Bitcoin has climbed from less than $200 to peaks over $1000 in the last month.  Every currency and medium of exchange on the planet is down against the Bitcoin over the last year, including gold and oil.

Innovation Means Winners And Losers

There is a hard limit of just under 21 million Bitcoins.  That means less than 1 in 300 people could own a full one, even if evenly distributed, which they are not (there’s already a number of investors that own hundreds or thousands or more).

One Bitcoin can be subdivided down into 100 million Satoshis (the smallest unit).   Even if the world’s money supply was entirely Bitcoin, one Satoshi would be worth just a couple of cents in today’s USD, allowing for small transactions.  If this were to happen, many many people would be reduced to poverty, living their entire lives on a few Millibits (thousandths of a Bitcoin) or Satoshis.

The new 1% is anyone that currently owns at least one Bitcoin, the world just doesn’t know it yet.  Like this, but on a world scale.  For the most part, this includes white, technically-minded, middle-aged American men but increasingly comprises Chinese technophiles and a cross section of society in economically unstable countries like Cyprus and Argentina.

The US government is starting to clue in and realises it needs to know what’s going on, but all they need to understand is that they can benefit from supporting it, or be trampled as they attempt to regulate something beyond their control.

I can’t say it any better than one of the commentators on the linked article (although I disagree about the inevitability of war and death), so here’s “Dumbhandle”:

US Government: Pay attention. You have almost destroyed the future of our country by retarding bitcoin usage in the US with the ham fisted application and mismanagement of various regs. Wealth is fleeing already to China and accelerating. You have a very short time to deregulate in order to attract bitcoin wealth to the US before the bitcoin black hole inevitably sucks in all world fiat currencies and the flow of XBT wealth to China and other counties accelerates.

Against all odds, your Chinese colleagues have realized this and are working as a team to effectuate capital accumulation over there. They are winning, because they understand fiats and the petro are finished. You need to immediately pull in some experts from the bitcoin community to explain this to you so you can take proper emergency evasive action to reverse the flow back to the US. Here is your goal: deregulate to reverse the capital flight. Then watch the global conversion of fiat to bitcoin. Watch bitcoin accumulate in the most innovative place in the world, the US. Sit back and watch a golden age bloom here and it spreads globally. Any other course will result in wars and death on a massive scale. Now we will watch you screw it up.

Bitcoin Doesn’t Care

Just like hypergamy and evolution, Bitcoin doesn’t care.

It doesn’t care if you didn’t know

It doesn’t care if you don’t understand

It doesn’t care if you don’t believe

The critics will cry that “Bitcoin is just a bubble” (alternatively: pyramid scheme), and they’d be right.  It’s a bubble in exactly the same way as the US dollar, which also gets its value entirely from community consensus (the paper it’s printed with cannot be eaten, used as construction material and is pretty poor fire fuel).  I am more prepared to trust a democratic, distributed, deflationary technology than the self-serving government printing press, and I suspect a lot of others might too.  I’m not alarmed by Bitcoin’s incredible growth, it’s just following the same S curve that tech giants like Facebook and Twitter tend to.

Absent any flaw being found in the source code (which has been publicly available and reviewed for years), or more likely one being introduced by the core development team (still a vanishingly unlikely proposition), I believe 1 Bitcoin will be worth at least US$ 100 000 by 31st December 2016.  The Winklevoss twins think even higher.  Max Keiser thinks even higher.  Even Peter Thiel (Paypal co-founder) agrees the revolution has begun.  Although ultimately, we’re all pure speculators on a very untested new technology.

The only other potential issue is advances in quantum computing that smashes apart current encryption standards, but that would cause far larger problems with all online privacy.  If anyone would come out on top it’s the forward-thinking and technically-minded Bitcoin community.

Adapt or live with regret among the masses.  You have been warned.  At the very least, do some reading and make an informed decision.

Bitcoin daily closing prices on MtGox for the last 4 years (to Nov 29), from sub-5 dollars to over $1000.  The closing of illegal, anonymous online marketplace Silk Road knocked the price off for a while, but it freed Bitcoin from any accusations of being useful only for drug deals.  The road up is going to be rocky, but there is no stopping the train now.

NB:  In the time taken for this post to go through the ROK submission and editing process, closing prices have doubled.  The original version of this article had the graph below finishing at $450.

https://www.returnofkings.com/10595/there-is-no-hedge-against-inflation

#bitcoin

[curekibouka]

Memento (one-shot Pandora Hearts fanfic)

Summary: How should one advance onward, when one’s preferred reality was the past?

A/N: So, this is my first Pandora Hearts fanfic posted on tumblr (and it’s my worst one yet 🙂). I tried to convey something sad and something light-hearted at the same time and I don’t know how you guys would take it.

*This fic is also on FF.net and Quotev.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Break?”

Ah. Right.

He was gone.

Forever.

Sharon sighed, it appears she had to do her hair herself today.

A week had passed already. And her habits still refused to be changed. He had always been the first person she’d greet in the morning, and the one she’d count on to arrange everything for her, and the one she’d bid goodnight to right before she slept.

15 years had been such a long time. Sharon couldn’t even begin to imagine what her life would have been like if she hadn’t found him that day.

But she reckoned that forever was a time longer than anything she could conceive of.

It had barely been a week, and she was already missing him so, so much that it felt as if her heart could shatter into a thousand fragments with the slightest touch.

How was she going to live with the knowledge that he was gone forever?

From time to time, the sensation of his head resting on her shoulder still remained. It plagued her to no ends.

His exhausted, raspy voice. His pale complexion. His skin losing its temperature. All of it…

…had felt so surreal.

They all knew Break was going to die one of these days. Besides, he had had just about a million near-death occasions due to his one-man show persona, this really shouldn’t come as a surprise.

But it didn’t feel right at all.

It didn’t feel right talking about him in past tense when she delivered the eulogy, he had always been the liveliest creature in the room.

It didn’t feel right seeing him being placed in a coffin and buried underground, left to rot and perish and decompose, alone.

It didn’t feel right placing little flowers there, those flowers belonged in his once beautiful long, silver hair, not on that dreary, grey tombstone.

It didn’t feel right not being able to watch over him as he rests while calling out his name, pleading him to wake up. That was what always happen when he had used too much of Mad Hatter’s power. It was always terrifying, but at least she’d see his weak breath and his slight movements, at least she’d be by his bedside, clutching his hand, praying.

She had been allowed to hope every time he had collapsed. But she had smelled the sweet aroma of candy when he had breathed his last on her shoulder, and that had crushed every glimmer of it.

Setting down her hairbrush, she felt a churn in her stomach. The truth had been so abrupt, so nonsensical, so uncomfortable, it made her feel sick how her life seemed to be unchanged still.

It was almost repulsive to her. How dare the Earth continue to orbit when he was gone?!

She clutched her head, messing up her hair again. She should not think this way — Break would not want her to think like this.

If Break were here, he’d…

“Sharon-sama?” Reim’s voice came with a few knocks on the door.

“Oh, come in,” she called out, forced to regain her composure.

How rare, Reim was in a casual suit instead of Pandora’s uniform. She tried to remember if today was some special occasion.

Reim saw her assessing his getup, he sighed, “Today is the tea party, Sharon-sama, have you forgotten?”

“Tea party…?” she murmured, and then practically jumped up when the memory hit her, “Oh dear! I did forget! Ahhhhh…! How careless of me! Why did Break not… remind… me……?” She slowed down on the last few words as Reim’s brows furrowed instantly.

“I…” she stuttered, faking an apologetic smile, “Please… pay it no mind, Reim-san. I have yet gotten used to daily life without a valet is all. It’s noth—“

“If you do not wish to go,” Reim said, “if it’s too painful to bear, I shall inform Gilbert-sama of your predicament so that he would not expect you.”

“No. No, I’m fine. Truly.” Honestly, she thought she didn’t really have a reason not to go. Almost everyone who would be there lost someone precious. Leo lost Elliot. The Baskerville lost at least half of their comrades and Fang. Ada lost her family. And even Gilbert, the one who insisted on organising this tea party Oz proposed, lost his master, and a dear friend, and someone who he had almost treated as his own uncle.

Gilbert probably learnt that if sorrow and grief were kept locked away in the darkest depths of a person’s heart, that person would never see the light and might do something foolish they’d end up regretting, mostly because of Vincent’s case. As such, he wanted to do something for everyone, he wanted everyone to get along and try to be happy, even for just a brief hour or so.

Sharon understood Gilbert’s intention, and she did not want his efforts to go to waste.

“I will go.”

Though she doubted his efforts would be of any help to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Glad you both came, Sharon, Reim,” Gilbert welcomed the two of them as they stepped out of the coach.

“Good morning, Sharon-chan,” Sheryl was already there with Rufus.

“Good morning, grandmother. Good morning to you too, Duke Barma,” Sharon curtsied, and went along to greet other people she knew.

The Baskervilles were surprisingly friendly, it was actually nice to hang out with them and to know that they weren’t sworn enemies anymore. Lottie even complimented her dress, and she complimented her hair in return.

But it was no use. Her mind refused to let go of her precious Xerx-niisan for even a second.

She was constantly picturing him standing right beside her, glancing at the scrumptious-looking desserts in front of her over her shoulder. Or him sitting on a table and laughing at the most ridiculous thing ever. Or him bickering with Vincent with an apparent hint of bloodlust behind those sweet smiles of theirs.

Her surroundings felt eerily empty when he wasn’t in it.

A child’s voice pulled her back from her trance, “Hey, Eques… I mean, Sharon.”

She turned to see Lily tugging at her skirt to get her attention.

“Hello, Lily-san,” she immediately put on a smile, as any proper lady would to appear polite, “You look very cute today.”

“Thanks,” Lily looked at her feet like a child found guilty of shattering her mother’s favourite vase.

“Is something the matter?”

“Well, not exactly~~” Lily drawled, “I just really~~ wanted to apologise for what I said and did back… when the Hatter… died. It must’ve scared you, when you were in that state of mind.”

“I…”

“I’m sorry! Tell me how to make it up to you, I’ll do anything I can~~”

“It’s… it’s all water under the bridge now,” Sharon quickly said, half-genuine, half only wanting to drop the topic, “Besides, you and Bandersnatch protected us afterwards, no? I’d say we are even.”

“Eh?” Lily snapped her head up at once, eyes sparkling with joy, “So you’ll forgive me?”

“Of course.”

“Yay~~! Since you and Reim seem to be really close, I thought we might as well be friends too!” she flashed Sharon an innocent smile.

“Friends… that sounds… very nice,” taken aback by the little girl’s proposition, she stuttered, but at least she was genuine this time, “I would… love to be your friend too.”

“Yay~~~!” Lily jumped to hug her, “Oh, I almost forgot~~” She landed back on her feet and delved into a little pouch she was carrying, “I have to give something to you~~”

“To me?”

“Yup! Lottie found it back then~~” she whipped it out and placed it in Sharon’s hands, “Here!”

Sharon’s eyes shot open, gasping, “E… E… E…mi…ly…” Her hands trembled violently, dropping Emily on the ground, herself dropping to her knees along with the doll, tears spilling out uncontrollably, blended with screams.

Reim and Ada both rushed to her side, worried, trying their best to calm her down.

“Lily, what did you do?” Lottie and Leo interrogated the little girl.

“Eh…? I… I don’t know!” Lily was also freaking out, unable to comprehend Sharon’s extreme response.

“No… I…” Sharon defended her, “It was my… fault… When I… saw… Emily… I just…”

She picked up Emily again, held it close to her chest, and continued crying.

At that, Ada also couldn’t help but start weeping along.

“Ada-sama…” Vincent placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I… I am sorry… My mind… starts thinking… about Onii-chan and Uncle Oscar again…”

“No fair…” Lily pouted, “I wanna cry too…! You’re not… the only ones… who lost people you loved…!”

“Lily…” Lottie embraced the child tenderly.

“Fang~~~~~~~~!” Lily bawled, yanking on Lottie’s arms.

“Sharon-sama…” Reim knelt in front of Sharon, not that he knew what to do, he was about as scared as Break had been when Sharon cried.

“Sharon-chan…” Sheryl clearly yearned to take it upon herself to comfort her granddaughter, but Rufus didn’t move her wheelchair.

“The grief of the bereaved could only be fathomed by those who bear the same heartache, ‘tis best to allow them the liberty to manage the situation by themselves,” he said.

Sheryl was about to retort. In her eyes, the scene was full of depressed and confused children, unable to pull themselves together in the midst of woe.

But those very children proved her wrong.

Gilbert trod to Sharon wordlessly and placed a hand on her head.

“Master Gilbert?” Reim questioned.

Gilbert took Emily and strained his voice to sound like how Emily usually sounded, “ShARon, yOU cRyBABy! KeKEkEkE!”

He continued in his normal voice, “It’s a lame quip, I know. But I had the feeling that Break would’ve tried to cheer you up with some distasteful jokes of his if he were here.”

More tears trickled down Sharon’s cheeks when he said that, but she nodded with certainty.

Gilbert joined his brother and Ada next. “Ada-sama, if Oz were here,” he gave Ada a quick embrace, “he would surely allow you to weep on his chest like this.”

“And if Oscar-sama were here,” Vincent added, stroking Ada’s short hair and wiping her tears away tenderly with his thumb, “he would have done this.”

Gilbert turned his focus to Vincent.

“I’m fine, nii-san, Noise… Echo did well. I’m proud of her.”

“Leo… Master,” Gilbert continued.

“I already know what he’d do, Gilbert,” Leo gave a small smile and glanced at a book he brought, “He would’ve punched me playfully and quoted from Holy Knight volume 11, when Edwin taught the readers how to cope with such grief.”

Gilbert reciprocated the smile and moved on to Lily, the (physically) youngest of them all. Lottie seemed to be at her wits’ end as well, for Lily hadn’t had the chance to go on a rampage like this to mourn for Fang before.

“I… don’t know much about Fang, Lily, I’m sorry. But…” he scooped her up and placed her on his shoulders, “but I know how much you loved the piggyback rides he gave you.”

Lily bawled even louder and bashed him on the head, “Gil, you idiot~~~~! Your piggyback ride is NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS FANG’S!!!!!! I want Fang’s piggyback rides! I WANT FANG TO BE HERE~~~~!!!!”

Lottie couldn’t help but let out a whimper at that too and Doug clasped her shoulder in comfort.

“And I’m sure that,” Gilbert declared to everyone, “if Stupid Rabbit… Alice were here, she would’ve offer to bite everyone’s cheeks.”

Some managed to laugh at that, which proved Gilbert’s attempt fairly successful.

“I cannot speak for everyone,” he returned Lily to her companions and continued to announce, “I understand that everyone deals with grief differently, and that it may be painful for some to remember the past where your loved ones were by your side, only to be pulled back to the present, where they are not. But for me…

“For me, as painful as it is to remember, these wonderful memories also brought me solace. I had cried like you all, I had screamed like you all, but when I cry and scream, they faces would always come to mind. They are not gone, they are and will always be living here in our hearts, forever.” He averted his eyes from everyone, “That is… what I think Oz would’ve said to cheer everyone up.”

“But… But I don’t want Fang to be in my mind~~~!” Lily bursted out, “I want him to be HERE!!!!!”

Surprisingly, it was Sharon who approached the little girl and hugged her tightly.

“Eques…?” Lily sobbed.

“I… understand you, Lily-san…” Sharon spoke with her still trembling voice, “Break… was like a caring elder brother to me too… just like… Fang-san was to you… And I… I do not think I can bear… with the knowledge… that he can only be… in my mind from now on… either…

“But remember… Fang-san must’ve… left the stage… while pursuing the path he had believed in,” she looked Lily in the eye, her cranberry-coloured one’s about as teary as Lily’s light blue ones, “If we… halted in our steps now… they would surely be… disappointed… would they not? For they… had created our paths… one way or another…”

The memory of the blade protruding from Fang’s back instead of her own, the image of his body crumbling to dust, the terror and the fury and the sorrow all recurred to her now. She leant into Sharon’s chest and shrieked madly.

“We must… advance… on their behalf,” Sharon wasn’t very sure whether she was saying this for herself or Lily anymore, “We must… carry their courage… and their will on our shoulders… and move forward…”

If Break were here, he’d surely have implored them to do so. He’d surely have ushered them on the path to that sunlit finale he never managed to reach.

A pair of arms wrapped around the both of them and caressed their heads softly. It was Reim, dutifully holding back his tears even now.

“That’s right,” Gilbert nodded in agreement to Sharon’s words. He spoke with the decorum befitting a proud (adopted) son of the Nightray House, “We stand here today, thanks to our loved ones who had instilled in us the strength to live. Let us commemorate their courage, perseverance and love; and let us remember their fears and mistakes, so that we learn from them.”

Lily looked up at Reim and Sharon, and forced a smile, “Thank… you… I’m happy… to have become friends… with you~~”

Gilbert raised his teacup, “Let us celebrate, today, the wondrous memories they had etched in our hearts, and the lives they had relayed onto us.”

“Happy unbirthday!” everyone cheered, on behalf of those who had cheered alongside them the last time.

And the morning sun shone upon the hopeful paths of those who had overcome the tears and would continue to advance on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End

#pandora hearts #pandora hearts fanfiction #lily baskerville #sharon rainsworth #reim lunettes #paindora hurts

[forbetterorworsefinalspace]

Shonky

Rating: Teen and Up

Fandom: Final Space

Part: 2

Link-  🌌

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Still trying to leave Earth, Sheryl is reminded time and time again that bringing her son along is a big mistake. However he can prove useful. 

Meanwhile Gary is reminded that his mother is a very different person from his father.

For Better Or Worse AU

__________________________________________________

“Is this wrong?”

Sheryl Goodspeed paused her actions to looked up at the sky, annoyed beyond belief. They were only a day or two into their journey, they hadn’t even left Earth yet for fuck sake, and the kid was already driving her up the bloody walls! Kid was a friggen Stickybeak, with no idea about his own personal safety, (She pulled him out of traffic twice already.) but somehow was insightful enough to know when she was breaking the law.

Trust John to raise him properly. Now she had to wreck all his hard work…

“Yes, Gary, but we need to do this.” Sheryl said, going back to her work.

They had driven down to a place Sheryl knew people stored their space vehicles during the off season. Rich tycoons that camp in space or some other nonsense. If they could get a craft that doubled as a living area, that be perfect… However she’d settle for whatever was stored in the fenced in yard.

They just needed to break in and steal one.

“Why?”

God fucking damn it.

“I’ll tell you later Gary.” She muttered, shaking her head. “We just have to.”

“But-!!”

“SHH!!” Sheryl spun to looked at him angrily, practically hiss in his face. “Listen here you little Drongo, see that there?!” She yell whispered, jutting her finger to the house just a few feet away. “That house?! If you wake up the person inside, then they’ll call the cops and take us away! You want to go into foster care?!”

The boy gave a frightened shake of his head.

“Right, then you’d best PULL your head IN!” She growled, then was back at the locks. She fiddled away for a few more moments, grumbling when she realized how rusty she had gotten. However she finally heard the tell tale click, pulling it apart and easing the door open with an ominous creek.

She looked around quickly. No signs of dogs. Or anything else. Suppose the guy just trusted his community. It was a high end area of town.

Sucks to be him.

She stepped in and could feel Gary follow behind her. She shut the door so it wouldn’t slam before leading deeper into the yard. Gary wandered a few steps away, with wide eyes.

“Are these… spaceships?” He asked in awe.

“That's a bit generous.” Sheryl shrugged. “More like space campers, space RVs and space cars, I suppose.”

“Wow…” Gary didn’t seem deterred by the explanation. He walked closer to a sporty looking craft. Likely a racing model. “W-what are we gonna do?”

“Steal one.” Sheryl said, looking over a large camper, only to deem it too noticeable and cumbersome.

“Why?”

Fuckin’....

“To go to space.” Sheryl glared at him. “Why else?”

Gary turned to her quickly, slack jawed and wide eyed. He began to bounce in place, growing a very large smile on his face. Sheryl realized what he was going to do a few seconds before he did.

“Don’t you dare!” She snapped, thankfully stopping him from squealing in excitement. She pointed forcefully to the house again, before going back to her search. As she looked, she kept having to make sure Gary wasn’t about to give them away. Sometimes he started talking too loudly and she’s hush him, forcefully. Sometimes he knocked over tins on the ground or started babbling to himself...and she kept having to stop him, wasting time they didn’t have.

This was a mistake.

He was a mistake…

Focus Sherie, focus.

Finally, near the back, she found a suitable ride. Perfect actually. It was a tow along trailer that had a self contained bubble at the front, where you could put a vehicle to move it, one just like her bike. The trailer area was smallish, but suitable. It had a mini fridge, sink, a few storage areas, a tiny bathroom at the back and two slim beds.

First, getting it out.

“Go hold the door.” She whispered to Gary, who actually ran off to do as he was told. With a heavy grunt she started to pull the vehicle from the storage area, hefting with all her might until her arms ached and her legs burned. Halfway to the exit she started to hurt.

Think of John. This is for John.

She managed it out before taking a second to breath. Gary scampered to her side, looking concerned and slightly upset. She frowned up at him from her seat on the ground.

“W-what?” She huffed.

“How were you moving that?” Gary asked. “Didn’t it hurt? Like a whole bunch? Forever?”

Sheryl moaned, standing up. “Well, sometimes you gotta work through the pain.”

“Why?”

Ah, this kid…

“Unpack our bags and get them in the camper.” Sherly grumbled. Thankfully the boy seemed interested in looking inside and ran to see.

Though still sore, Sheryl forced her bike into the bubble to act as an engine. Thankfully the bags were off it now, but looking inside, she could see Gary jumping from bed to bed, a big smile on his face as he made a mess.

Good lord this kid…

Sheryl leaned against the bubble. This was a mistake… and this was her last chance to leave the kid behind. Or at least on Earth anyway. She was tempted, so very, very tempted to just dump him here.I mean, sure he might get blamed for stealing the camper, but he was a kid. They’d let him off easy…

The boy giggled loudly, beds squeaking under his weight as he hopped around like a roided up Roo. As Sheryl put her head in her hand, pinching the bridge of her nose, the boy leapt from the trailer and ran to take a look at the rockets on the back.

This is a mistake.

“HEY!”

Sheryl looked up into the barrel of a gun, she went rigid as a man dressed in his pajamas started to come closer. “Who the hell do you think you are?!” He asked crossly, waving the weapon around.

God damn it, she hadn’t heard the man coming because of all of Gary’s noise!

Still she shifted to an unimpressed stance, scowling slightly. “That supposed to be a trick question?” She asked dryly.

The man huffed and went fumbling for his pocket, not taking his eyes off her. “N-now you just stay right there until my help arrives, or I’ll shoot you! Don’t you make any sudden moves!”

Where did this guy get his dialogue, a cop movie? Sheryl scowled when he pulled out his phone.

“Wassa matter? Can’t handle a lady on your own?” Sheryl scoffed. The gears were turning in her head, trying to think of a way out of this. Thankfully Gary was quiet now, which was making it a lot easier.

She had to kill him. She just needed to do it before he called for this so called help, or else they’d have to make a runner. She tried to lean to one side, inching her hand down her waist to a knife hidden in her boot. Guy was still trying to dial his cell, which was perfect for her. The longer he struggled, the more time she had to arm herself.

She closed her hand around the hilt when the man seemed to notice her strange posture. He straightened his gun out. “Hey! What are you-”

BANG!

Sheryl started, eyes rounded, as the man straightened like a board, then fell to the ground in a heap. Behind him stood Gary, who slapped his hands over his mouth when the man folded before him. A brick clattering down with the guy.

Sheryl blinked.

“O-Oh no! Oh no!” Gary whined, shaking his hands. “I killed him! That not good! Thats super not good!” He grabbed his hair tightly. “I friggen wreck his stuff!”

“Calm down.” Sheryl knelt, feeling the man’s neck. “He has a pulse Gary, you just knocked him out.”

Gary slumped in relief. “Oh thank crap!- Oph!” He flinched. “Sorry…”

“Fer what?”

“For swearing…”

Sheryl stared at him before laughing. “Ah you can swear all you fuckin want. I don’t give a shit. Just be quiet when we’re sneakin around, yeah?”

“Oh.” Gary stared back at her, processing this information, then hunched in on himself and spoke in a very soft voice.

“Fuck.”

Sheryl was… actually amused by this. She chuckled. “Feel good?”

“Yeah.” Gary looked up at her, but seemed a bit gloomy. “It just, dad said I shouldn’t…”

Sheryl darkened as well. “Hmm, he ain’t here now, is he?”

“No…”

Sheryl glanced back down at the man before taking his gun, she inspected it quickly, lining up her sights with it, then checked the chambers.

Empty.

So he was all bluff.

Sheryl tsked, but put it on her bike. Looking over she could see the house was still dark, but the door was open…

“Come with me.” Sheryl ordered before marching to the house. She nudged the door open, looking into the building. She flicked on a few lights once she knew no one was in the shadows.

For such a nice area of town, this sure was a dump. Everything was in a state. Newspapers and used dishes everywhere. There was no art on the walls, hardly any furniture, and it was cramped to hell.

She pushed Gary to the kitchen. “Find some bags and grab some food yeah? I’m gonna look upstairs.”

“Isn’t that stealing-”

“Gary, we’re already stealing. You konked this dude on the head with a brick not five minutes ago.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Just grab the food.”

Sheryl headed up the stairs, to a small bedroom. It was also sparse, the bed was unmade and every surface was covered in junk. She checked a few drawers and looked over the clutter. Then she found something interesting.

“Well, well, well. No wonder this place is a mess.” She said, holding up a tiny baggie of white powder. She opened it, dipping her pinky in and rubbed it on her gums. It dissolves instantly, leaving a bit of her mouth numb. Sheryl smiled. “Hello Basuco, its been a very long time.” She spotted a large amount of the baggies under a shirt. “And you brought the whole family!”

Sheryl wasn’t one for cocaine. She tried to steer clear of it, if mostly because she saw addiction as a weakness. She did, however, dabble in a few when… when John tossed her out. Thankfully she managed to slapped herself out of it a few days in and just stick to beer and smokes.

These would, however, sell very nicely.

She tossed the lot in a bag and kept looking. Eventually she found the ammo for the gun under the bed. Huh, maybe the guy thought the gun was loaded. Then a large wad of cash in his underwear drawer. After stealing her fill she came down, finding Gary struggling with a large bag of food. It was all junk food and things like that, but Sheryl didn’t care.

“Give.” She ordered, snatching it from him. She took everything down to the trailer, before tossing it inside. She looked back to Gary, but the boy was worriedly hunched over the man he knocked out. There was a sizable puddle of blood on the ground now, which she could see from the light of the house.

“Is he gonna be ok?” Gary asked, frowning.

“Hell if I know.” Sheryl scoffed, coming over. “Bleeding like a faucet though.”

“S-so I did kill him?” Gary asked, sniffling a bit.

Ugh!

“What? Your sad that you killed him?” Sheryl frowned. “He was gonna die someday.”

“Yeah, but I killed him! Me!”

“For the love of-” Sheryl knelted, pulled out her knife, and slit his throat in a quick motion. Blood splashed out, but not as much as she expected. He was likely running low, bleeding in the brain. She wiped her blood off on the grass before looking back to her son. “There. Now I killed him.”

Gary stared at her, eyes the size of pin pricks.

“What now?” She asked, exasperated.

“Y-you killed him…”

“Thats right.”

“...Why?”

She rolled her eyes. Again with the why! “To shut you up and because the less people who see us the better.” Sheryl grunted. The boy just stared back, horrified, making her scoff. “Just get in the bloody camper. I’m gonna hide the body.”

Gary slunk away and Sheryl grabbed the corpse by the legs, dragging him into the junk yard, where she covered him with a metal sheet. Her body groaned, unhappy with all the heavy lifting and pulling.

As she finished up, the dark sky rumbled, a few raindrops coming down from above. It was an ominous sign, but also a stroke of good luck. The water would ruin evidence, and the thunder would hide the noise of their take off.

Walking back to their new home, Sheryl could see Gary curled up inside, clutching the bug jar like a lifeline and wrapped tightly under some blankets. She paused, biting her lip and staring at him. He looked pretty messed up…

Well, he’d get used to it. She had grown up around that sort of thing. Maybe not people per say, but animals definitely.

She came to the bike and closed the bubble, climbing on so she could pull the ship into the sky.

“Mom..?”

“Eh?” She didn’t look at him.

“W-why did that guy have to die?” Gary mumbled. “Was it me?”

Sheryl paused again, and then turned to him.

“Gary. In this world, its either you or them.” She said lowly. “Sometimes the best thing to do is make sure there is no them at all. He would have made it harder for us to get away to space. Now that he’s dead, less problems.”

“Oh… ok.” Gary looked to the window as they started to rise in the air. “But why are we going to space?”

Sheryl looked back out the bubbled, which was rippling with raindrops.

“We’re gonna bring John back.”

The ship took off with a rumble, blending into the thunder as they rose to the cosmos.

And one step closer to John.

#final space #Fanfiction #Shonky #background character death #For Better Or Worse Au #sheryl goodspeed #gary goodspeed

[thanagariansnarebeast]

Top Thirteen James Bond themes

I honor of the release of the theme for No Time To Die (That song won’t be on this list because I’m still deciding how I feel about it) I thought it would be appropriate to make a top ten list of the songs. I will be judging them based on how well I think they fit with the franchise, how memorable they are, and how the lyrics pertain to Bond or the film its about itself. I won’t put links to the songs because YouTube will probably take down half the videos in a month. I went with 13 because its half of 25 if I round up and there are 25 themes.

13. Tomorrow Never Dies - I kinda forgot about this song, but I think its more because the film was so forgettable, the song is actually pretty good. I’m not a big fan of Sheryl Crow, but this song is moody and sexy in a very good way, the lyrics and tune are very erotic and establish a great mood. The lyrics like I said are pretty sexy, and talk a lot about Bond and who he is and what he does. The instrumentals are pretty good, and don’t rely on the Dr. No theme, but are very David Arnold, who helped write a long of the songs on this list. I do think this song could go harder at points though, and it kinda seems to fizzle towards the end.

12. Die Another Day - I think pop and techno elements don’t really scream Bond, but at least this song was trying to do something different (Unlike the film that was so cliche and uninspired that it caused a soft reboot of the franchise). Madona does a pretty good job, but the random lyrics about Freud are just strange and out of place, but the song does a decent job with most of the other lyrics. I think a lot of why this song ended up on my list is that its catchy and energetic.

11. Goldeneye - This was the first 007 movie I saw as a kid, and I think that part of why I like this song is because of nostalgia; that being said this song has some great lyrics and Tina Turner has such fantastic vocals that I had to put this song on here. The instrumentals are great and don’t rely on the original theme, but use them as inspiration. The hook in this song will definitely get it stuck in your head. The lyrics are hit and miss, some are spot on and some are just nonsensical.

10.Another Way To Die - Jack White and Alicia Keys are talented, and clearly It’s very energetic and I love the funk and piano on top of the fantastic vocals of Alicia Keys. The themes of the song work pretty well for a Bond track to, but I think at times the song kind of meanders and almost seems to get distracted.

9.ThunderBall - Tom Jones belts it out hard in this song, and really gets me, I love the instramentals, though I think they rely too much on the original theme and even pepper it in a few more times than needed. The song is pretty good at explaining who Bond is, though not much about what is going on in the actual film.

8.A View To A Kill-  This song is so incredibly 1980′s, which normally is a turn off for me; but I think that it really works for this song and it being Duran Duran of course its very 80′s. I think it does a decent job as a 007 theme and talking about the dark subject matter of them, and I’m sure because of the beat this was played in a lot of dance clubs.

7.The World Is Not Enough - This is a fun music video, but I’m trying to judge these songs just based on the songs themselves. That being said, this is a great one, and seems to be from the villain’s point of view, which we don’t really see much, they even quote the villains at one point. Its sexy and seductive, yet seems sad and angry at the same time. The vocals are great and get slow and sexy, but then get big and loud. This one really gets stuck in my head a lot, and the chorus is really damn catchy.

6. Live And Let Die - Paul McCartney is doing some of his best work here, and a lot of people will probably think that this song should be higher, but it gets a bit too 60′s with its random instrumentals and tangents to be higher for me. I do really like how sad and melancholic the opening is, and the build up to the much faster paced instrumentals. I only think they lyrics vaguely have to do with anything Bond related, other than when they say the actual title of the song/film.

5.Goldfinger - Its a great song, it talks about what an asshole Goldfinger is, and uses a lot of the instrumentals from the original theme; which is why this one isn’t higher, that’s kinda cheating. Shirley Bassey has some great 60′s style vocals for the song and they really work, and so does the bold use of brass at the beginning.

4.The Writing’s On The Wall - Man Sam Smith can belt it out, I love how soft and quiet he gets and then loud and just belting it out. I think the lyrics really talk a lot about the love story of the film, and about how 007 needs a way out at this point and this is probably his last chance to to give up what he wanted to give up in Casino Royale. The instramentals really work for the tone and mood of the song, and keep a good balance for what a good Bond theme should have.

3.Skyfall - This song is such a moody, haunting theme that has some gorgeous vocals behind it, and really deserves a high spot on any Bond theme list. The lyrics are more poetic than anything concrete but I think “ You may have my number, you can take my name, but you'll never have my heart” is pretty much the perfect description of Bond. The orchestral instrumentals of this song are also fantastic and there is nothing wrong with this song, its just not my personal favorite.

2.You Know My Name  I fucking love Chris Cornell, he’s my absolute vocalist of all time so its not surprising that I put him this high on the list. His vocal talent and how hard the song goes are a great way to introduce a new Bond, one we hadn't really seen before and the incorporation of so many elements of the character and the gambling aspects of it just make it even better, the lyrics really seem to grasp the darker aspects of the new version of Bond, and the toll it takes on him.

1.The James Bond Theme (From “Dr. No”)  Well of course this has to be number one, elements of it are in most of the other songs on this list, and even if you’ve never seen a 007 film you know what that song is. On top of that, its just some fantastic instrumentals. It has parts that are very 60′s, and parts that are just classic and timeless. That base line in it is one of my favorite baselines in any song, and there is a damn good reason that this song has stayed around for nearly 60 years.

#007 #james bond #my lists

[osmw1]

Dimension Wave   Chapter 29 — Dimension Wave: Conclusion

—?!

It wasn’t clear who landed the final blow, but Cerberus let out as if he had been torn apart. At the same time, a flash of white light blinded everybody in the instance as they braced themselves for the next attack. The light dissipated and revealed white clouds on a backdrop of blue… just as the skies had been before all of this happened. White petals blew across the battlefield; we were now in a field of flowers in full bloom.

“We did it!”

Everybody was in high spirits and some were crying out from our shared triumph.

“Good job, team.” “Well done!” “That was a doozy.” “Hell yeah.”

A victory fanfare played in the background—this is an MMO, so of course it did. I sat down on the bed of flower as both my—as both Kizuna†Exceed’s body and mind were exhausted. The tension and anxiety I was holding back crushed me all at once now. It was extremely stressful avoiding getting hit as a Spirit.

—The first wave of Dimension Wave has been defeated!

The game popped up a message in my vision. There was also a ranking of who contributed the most. Let’s see where I placed…

—Overall rank #77: Kizuna†Exceed

Looks like I’m 77th place among all other players. There were a few other rankings as well.

—Total damage given rank #1: Tsugumi†Exceed

No surprise there. That scythe was great for crowd control.

Oh, there’s a ranking for resources contribution as well. Alto and Romina were in the top 10. They did a lot to back us up, eh?

Another category was “Everyday”. I assume that’s for like activities, like cooking and other roleplaying elements? I’m at #542 for that.

“Holy! Look! There’s someone who took 80,000 points of damage!”

That guy was #2 for most damage received, but who’s #1?

—Total damage received rank #1: Kizuna†Exceed

… hey, that name looks familiar! I fell prostrate on the ground. Now that I look at myself, my clothes had been unequipped, leaving me in my underwear.

Name/ Kizuna†Exceed Race/ Spirit Energy/ 19,550 Mana/ 8,100 Serin/ 46,780

Skills/ Energy Production X, Mana Production VII, Fishing Mastery IV, Hate & Lure I, Gutting Mastery IV, Cleaver III, Speed Gutting III, Naval Combat IV, Transmutation I

… well, that makes sense.

“Required level to equip… Energy, in my case…”

I never knew there was a level requirement for my clothes. They got unequipped because I don’t have enough Energy now, I assumed. Guess I don’t have much of a choice but to use my old equipment. I’m glad I kept everything in my inventory. I clicked out of the rankings and looked through other information.

—Buffs and item usage

There were patch notes for new skills, equipment, and other changes as well. More weapon types were added too. Something I was just talking about is the new specialization for scythes, called war scythes; dual blades derived from one-handed swords; and katanas from two-handed swords. I can’t tell for sure unless I check with the next one, but I’m sure there are new items and skills that are affected by each Dimension Wave.

Oh, hey, it said that fishing rods can now be equipped with reels. I’ve gotta get me one of those. I kept scrolling through the notes.

“Racial powers unlocked?”

That line caught my attention while I was skimming. First off, lemme see what’s in store for Spirits.

—Stone of Mediation implemented.

A crystal that allows its user to project their soul. Or, at least, that’s what this Spirit-exclusive rock claims to be able to do. Every Stone of Mediation has a different effect. Some may shorten the amount of time needed to produce Energy or reduce skills’ Energy usage.

Finally, it looks like we all get something from participating in Dimension Wave. Ranks 1-5, 6-100, 101-1,000, 1,001-5,000 all get different items.

And since I’m number 77, I should be getting something pretty decent. I clicked Yes on the dialog box asking me whether I’d like to receive my reward. Then, a slot machine with numbers and fruits on its reels popped up in my vision. After a quick spin, three icons of souls lined up in the center.

—Energy Blade obtained.

It looked so fitting for a Spirit like me, though the description looked far from normal.

Energy Blade Weapon type/ Not applicable Attack/ 0 Prerequisites/ Must be a Spirit User must have at least 2 Energy to equip this weapon. The user charges up the blade with Energy then unleashes all of it in one single blow. Beware that all charged Energy will be expended upon making an attack, regardless of its success.

All that’s there to the weapon is just its handle. It’s reminiscent of old movies and anime, like how the blade part would only appear if the sword chooses its wielder. It sounds cool and all, but I’ll hold off judgement until I try it out. Personally, I don’t have strong feelings either way. Since it’s a Spirit-exclusive weapon, it’s quite the oddball. I bet it’ll be tricky to use as well. At the very least, it’s not an option for me in my current state. It won’t be long until I’m back in business, so I’ll just keep it safe for now.

“Kizuna.”

Shouko showed up just as I had finished stowing away the Energy Blade into my inventory. Just like everybody else, I congratulated her with a “Well done out there”. But even though we’ve defeated the Dimension Wave, she looked less than happy. I couldn’t help but worry about her.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” “No, it’s just that… I overdid it out on the battlefield, causing you to suffer such terrible damage…” “Oh, that’s what’s bothering you? Don’t worry about it. The true winners in games are ones who enjoy themselves, isn’t that right?” “Still—”

Shouko seemed to be bothered about me losing my Energy. I had been swarmed by the mob, hurt myself in trying to protect Tsugumi, and nearly lost my life when I was drawing the boss’ aggro. Even if I had voluntarily done all that, she must be feeling guilty about all of the damage I faced. But I knew. I knew Shouko had tirelessly used her counterattack skill to protect me. Still, the fan-type weapon needs to be charged so, of course, she couldn’t block 100% of Cerberus’ attacks. Nevertheless, it was touching to hear that she had been thinking of me the entire time.

“More importantly, the sea! I mean, I’d love to head back out onto the water, but with the little Energy I have left, I’ll just be dead weight.” “Nonsense. I will help you reach… no, rather, I wish to be by your side and reach beyond the horizon together.” “I couldn’t ask for anybody better. I knew that before, but seeing you out there today, I’m even more sure of it.”

I can’t forget how graceful of an acrobatic Shouko was when facing Cerberus. And frighteningly, she’s as skilled as Tsugumi. Even though her prowess suits the frontlines much better, knowing her and her personality, I’m sure she’ll choose to stay with me. But I know better than to outright ask her to return to the frontlines.

“It’s been a long day. Let’s head back to the First and get some rest.” “Oh, but…” “Hmm?”

Shouko pressed her index finger to her lips, cueing me to stay quiet. Then, she looked over at Cerberus’ corpse. I get it now… gutting, eh? I was going to tell Roz and his party about the power of gutting-type weapons, but I didn’t get the chance to do so. I definitely had a hard time keeping cool back there. I mean, it’s only natural to get mad when someone insults you and your friends, right?

We made our way over to where Cerberus fell and eyed the other players. Many of them were already teleporting out of the instance since the raid was finished. The thriftier ones were walking home while the frontliners didn’t even bat an eye when they used their Tomes of Returning. Some of the braver ones were even saying how they’re headed off for the next battle. There were still too many people around for me to start gutting—that is if I still wanted to keep this a secret.

“Shall we stay here for a while? It’d be a waste to not enjoy the scenery.” “… yeah, why not?”

The bed of flowers was simply fantastic—both in the sense that it was beautiful but also unrealistically so. It’s almost as if the devs put it in here for us players to relax after the raid. Well, Cerberus’ corpse lying there kinda spoils the view though.

“Miss Kizuna!” “Oh, hey, Yamikage. Good work back there.” “I thank ye, but I bear exciting news.” “Ooh, what is it?” “I am now the highest ranked Spirit!” “Number one in the Energy rankings, eh?”

It’s no surprise for someone who has accumulated a total of more than a million Energy. I bet Circle Drain contributed a lot to her growth too.

“Where’s Sheryl anyway?” “… I have been here the whole time.” “Agh! Don’t scare me like that.”

Sheryl suddenly spoke up from behind me. I had no idea she was with us. It’s almost like she concealed herself or something. Well, I’m probably unperceptive because I’m just too tired.

Near the end of the raid, Sheryl was still fighting the mob to not get in our way. It’s boring, but someone’s gotta do it. Or rather, it shows exactly how considerate and attentive Sheryl is. Like that time with the bird-type monster who tried to run from us. She’s always there to back us up and to take care of loose ends. Anyway, it looks like we’re all back together now.

“I don’t think I need to explain much, but let’s enjoy the garden here while we’re waiting to do that thing I always do.” “‘Tis a splendid idea!” “‘kay.” “Yes, let’s.”

I’ll be honest. I’ve never sat around in a park to enjoy the cherry blossoms or anything like that in real life. But perhaps I’m still feeling the adrenaline rush from the fight, this was a little exciting. … I mean, as exciting as looking as flowers can be.

“It’s a little boring to sit around with nothing. I’ll make sure I take up cooking next time, so we can have a picnic or something.” “Will it not be straining your Energy reserves, Miss Kizuna?” “You’re right, but it’s something I should learn sooner or later. It’ll be useful for our voyage on the seas.” “That would not be a bad idea. We bring some food on board, but if we run out, we can rely on cooking.” “Since we have Shouko and Yamikage as specced purely for combat and Sheryl for crafting. I guess that leaves me as the team’s cook.” “… only if you’re okay with it.” “It’ll synergize well with my weapon type too.”

I’ll catch and cook our meals. Now that I think about it, I don’t do much with the fish after I catch them. Why didn’t I take up cooking sooner? The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Hmm? It sounds like someone’s running up to us. It was Tsugumi and Roz’s party.

“Big brooooo!”

She barreled towards me and squeezed me tightly in her arms. Maybe because I’m low on Energy, but I didn’t have the strength to pry her off of me.

“That was some amazing support there, Kizuna.” “You too, Roz. Almost all of you are ranked in the top 100, right?” “Ah, we were just lucky.” “You guys wanna join us? We were just about to celebrate our victory.”

Roz looked like he thought about it for a quick second. Well, I don’t blame him for being hesitant in front of total strangers.

“I hate to say no, but we’ve got to get going.” “You guys heading out for more grinding?” “Nah, but we’ve gotta figure out our equipment and skills.” “Frontliners sure have it rough. Well, good luck with that then.”

They’re throwing themselves back out onto the battlefield right after a huge raid battle. Honestly, I’m ready to pass out already. Frontliners are just so impressive. Well, I mean, I’ve been in their position before too. I know just how addictive games can be. Roz didn’t look like he was here just to say hi.

“Anyways, I was hoping to talk to the girl with the fan.” “Yes? What is it?”

Shouko looked at him with suspicion. He’s gonna ask her to join their party, I bet. Well, after seeing Shouko perform like that during the raid, everybody should be begging her to join their parties.

“I was wondering if you’d like to join—” “No, thank you.”

She cut Roz off before he could even finish his sentence. Yamikage and Sheryl looked like they wanted to say something but judging by how quickly she rejected him, I don’t think anyone could change Shouko’s mind. It was a bit of a shock, frankly speaking. I wouldn’t have expected her to flatly reject him like that, given how considerate Shouko is. She was quick to understand what he wanted as well. But even for being such an upright and proper lady, Shouko has her brash moments too, I guess. To refuse him like that is not unimaginable. Rosette seemed a little taken aback as well.

“But with your skill, you’d be perfect for the frontlines.” “I will follow Kizuna no matter what.”

… I’ve knew from the get-go that Shouko is like that, but still, that’s super embarrassing for me. I can still remember how politely she bowed to me when we first met.

“I see… sorry for trying to poach your party member like that, Kizuna.” “No worries. That’s just how Shouko is.” “Yeah, I can tell… those bastards have no idea what they’re missing out on.”

I’m guessing he’s referring to Shouko’s previous party members. It’s easy to judge us Spirits by the rumors that surround us. A lot of people fall into a bad habit of blindly listening to whatever strategy sites or wiki pages instead of seeing it for themselves. It really is a shame for them. I’ve really hit it off with Shouko. Not only is she a great person, she’s real skilled at combat too.

“Alrighty, then we’ll be heading off.” “Gotcha. I can’t wait to fight alongside you guys again.”

Roz and his party waved goodbye before teleporting away. But my sister, Tsugumi, is still clung onto me like a koala.

“Listen…” “What’s good, bro?” “Your party’s gone already, y’know?”

Tsugumi looked over her shoulder to see no traces of her teammates anywhere. Then, she shook her head and looked at me.

“What’s up?” “… big bro, are you guys going to sit here and chill for a bit?” “That’s what we’re planning to do. What about it?” “…”

For some reason, Tsugumi was staring straight into my eyes. She only looks like this when she’s really concentrating at her games. She must be thinking long and hard about something. No one—not even Kanata—can break her concentration. It’s like Tsugumi gets into some sort of a trance. Shouko gets into a hyper-aware state like this sometimes too. But Tsugumi? She only gets like this when she’s doing something she likes… that is to say when only when she’s gaming. And seemingly as if she’s figured it all out, she beamed with a smile.

“Alright! I’ve made up my mind! See ya, big bro!”

Then, she disappears after using a Tome of Returning. What was that all about?

“Anyway. Let’s go enjoy the flowers, shall we?”

We sat around chatting until everyone around us had left.

contents: /prologue/ /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /ch018/ /ch019/ /ch020/ /ch021/ /ch022/ /ch023/ /ch024/ /ch025/ /ch026/ /ch027/ /ch028/ /ch029/ /next/

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#Average Translations #AvgTL #osm #light novels #ln #web novels #wn #syosetu #一般の英訳 #ライトノベル #ラノベ #オンライン小説 #オンラインノベル #小説家になろう

[makeitpoppy]

speaking of goodbyes

yk who i wish would learn how to let go?

my fucking stalker of an ex girlfriend

#i’m not kidding #it’s been FOUR years since SHE broke up w me #the last thing that girl told me was that she would kill me and then kill herself if i didn’t get back w her #i am TERRIFIED of her #and when i say stalker #i mean STALKER #police level indeed #and still the other day she contacted one of my cousins to know if #“’someone’s protecting’ me wtf #personal #delete later #sheryl talks nonsense

[translationandbetrayals]

Milky Holmes' Rise to Fall, or How to Find Hope in Troubled Times

Milky Holmes reminds me of Žižek. And while it might seem quite nonsensical to tie this sentence together, it’s also something that gives us light about the times we’re facing.

Milky GODS

Always controversial, the Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek does have some interesting things to say. But even though he’s mostly known for his approach of leftist politics, the analysis of his that has stuck with me the most doesn’t relate to politics, or at least not directly. It’s his commentary about the animated film Kung Fu Panda, produced by Dreamworks. He has referred to the film a couple of times while highlighting something that has now become sort of a recurrent topic of his mythos. The idea of faith. This idea, also explained by him in the form of an anecdote about a scientist (Niels Bohr) who didn’t believe in charms, yet used to put one in his house just because he was told “it would work, even if he didn’t believe in it”, is essential to Kung Fu Panda and to Dreamworks as a whole (even if Žižek doesn’t directly acknowledge it). While the film works as a parody of Chinese martial arts films, and spends part of its runtime satirizing Chinese philosophy, in the end these principles are embraced, as Po’s wu wei defeats Tai Lung’s ambition (and we can say the same about the way Shrek and Megamind relate to fairy tales and superhero fantasy, just to cite other examples). 

But what does any of this have to do with Milky Holmes? What is this Milky Holmes, even? And as many of you might not be familiar with this long running multimedia franchise, it wouldn’t do harm to recapitulate its history. To understand Milky Holmes, we must first understand its seeds, which are in Broccoli and Bushiroad, two Japanese companies which were both founded by a single man, named Takaaki Kidani. Kidani started Broccoli in the late ‘90s, which first worked as a doujin management company for events, then expanding itself through Gamers, a goods store directed towards the otaku market. Gamers was immortalized and popularized through the Di Gi Charat franchise, produced by Broccoli and extremely massive through the late 90s and early 2000s. Spanning various anime adaptations, numerous manga, and lots of merchandise, the now classic characters were a boom within this same otaku market, and part of this success even crossed overseas, as you might see if you venture into old anime archives.

This really handsome dude is Takaaki Kidani

Now the success of Di Gi Charat probably wasn’t just because of the mascot made designs, though of course that had a part in its popularity. Aside from the already obvious fact, the Di Gi Charat franchise, at least in its first animated adaptation, had a pretty good sense of humor and irony. In a way, it was mocking the very own otaku it was targeted towards, and while it sure wasn’t the first to do so, this style of self-deprecating and sometimes grotesque or even infantile humor the series subjected its viewers to was something special. And while Di Gi Charat had quite the acid tone, it wasn’t without its share of tame and even heartwarming moments. It was moe, marketable of course, but there was something else as well. This series had a heart.

The heart of the show has a name and it’s Puchiko

It’s this spirit that Milky Holmes, more than 10 years after the creation of Di Gi Charat, held as its foundation as one of the star projects of the then recently started Bushiroad, founded after Kidani left Broccoli. Learning from his success in Broccoli’s projects such as the aforementioned Di Gi Charat, and also the media franchise Galaxy Angel, Milky Holmes was thought of as a multimedia project from the start. In the case of Milky Holmes, radio dramas, a manga, a PSP video game, an anime adaptation, and, perhaps most importantly, a seiyuu/idol unit were launched. I say most importantly because it was the disbandment of this unit that signaled the end of the franchise as a whole. In January’s 28th of 2019, Milky Holmes gave their final live performance at the Budokan, in fact ending the decade old franchise.

The end of Milky Holmes

On the anime side of things, the last installment was Psycho no Aisatsu, a crossover special episode featuring the main character of the Cardfight!! Vanguard franchise, a trading card game series for kids that was also created by Bushiroad. It was the symbolic pass on the torch to a younger, still profitable franchise in Bushi, that hopefully might keep the spirit of the Milkies alive. But we must not be sad for what has ended, as this franchise will always stay there to be revisited, even for people who never got to experience it when it was still active.

And it’s because of this that I have not forgotten about Milky Holmes, even though it has been years since it ended. I feel especially partial to the anime, particularly its first two seasons, and the 2016 movie: Milky Holmes' Counterattack (and what a movie is that one). One common thing about these three is that all of them feature Makoto Moriwaki as a director. And I feel she’s the one who better captures the spirit I mentioned above when talking about Di Gi Charat. It isn’t the only way to understand the series: there’s the video games, that might be seen as the source material; the Alternative OVAs, that are a closer adaptation of the games; and the two other anime seasons, which are completely different to anything else (and most people don’t seem to like); but Morikawi’s interpretation is the most interesting one, at least to me.

Now, you might be tired of so much anticipation and context, but it’s important to understand the background of this director to realize what she brought to the franchise (because yes, it’s a she) to, as I believe, perfect it. Makoto Moriwaki has mostly made a career out of directing children’s anime, more specifically anime for girls. Series such as the Sanrio based My Melody and PriPara have been directed by her, along with some Jewelpet seasons and even some Doraemon episodes. But a sort of black sheep among all that family friendly content is the raunchy adult comedy Ebichu, which, in spite of its cutesy visuals reminiscent of Hamtaro, is a series mostly targeted towards older women, full of jokes about adult life that, of course, involve a lot of sex.

it means a dirty word, if you didn’t realize

The Milky Holmes directed by Moriwaki is a middle ground between those two poles. On one hand, the cynicism, irony, and hidden sexual references in an outwardly kids friendly series, and on the other, the fantasy and the hopeful nature of magical girls and idol anime. And this dichotomy is also highlighted when we understand the target of this series. Despite its looks, Milky Holmes is not directed towards children. It’s not a kids show, but rather, a completely otaku business. It was broadcasted as shinya anime at 11 pm, it has its share of adult humor, and of course, the moe characters are exactly that, there’s no ambiguity there. It’s made to sell merchandise, discs and BDs to fat weirdos. But it’s quite interesting how the show treats its own audience, because if we’re to take Milky Holmes as an otaku product, it isn’t simply cynical.

Yes, that there is a ****plug

We have talked about Milky Holmes as a product and as a media franchise, but let’s review the series itself. To those who don’t know, Milky Holmes is set in a fantastical time and space called the Age of Great Detectives. In this world, Great Detectives and their eternal rivals, Gentlemen Thieves, are in constant struggle. They’re aided by their Toys, special powers whose name might be an irony on Bushiroad’s own status as a company.

A fascinating part of the Milky Holmes franchise for any crime or detective fiction freak is that most of the character names are taken from legendary detectives and criminals. There’s the 4 Milky Holmes members, which are respectively: Sherlock “Sheryl” Shellingford, the always energetic and optimistic leader (named after the most famous detective of all); Nero Yurizaki, a greedy, egotistical bokukko (named after the gluttonous Nero Wolfe); Hercule “Elly” Burton, a shy girl who has the most awareness inside the Milkies (named after Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot); and Cordelia Glauca, the shoujo-esque dramatic and delusional member of the crew (named after Cordelia Gray, the only character of the four that is originally female).

From left to right, unlike your Japanese mangos

They battle constantly against the Gentlemen Thief Empire, led by the intense and prideful Arsene (after Arsène Lupin, the French gentleman thief also recalled by the Monkey Punch character); and completed with Twenty, a narcissistic nudist that weaponizes his erect nipples (based on Menso Nijuu, a villain from the Ranpo Edogawa canon); Stone River, a prude warrior with a samurai pride (based on Goemon Ishikawa, the outlaw hero from Japanese folklore, also referenced by Lupin III); and Rat, who’s victim of everyone’s forgetfulness (based on Kozo Nezumi, a folk hero from the Edo period).

Twenty, Arsene, Stone River, and Rat

There’s also a third party in discord, that can either work as ally or enemy depending on circumstance (much like in your typical detective story) which is of course formed by the cops. The G4 is the “elite” patrol of law enforcement whose effectiveness also depends on plot convenience, and their leader (and child genius with infinite amounts of IQ) Kokoro-chan’s (named after Kogoro Akechi, the famous Ranpo Edogawa detective) mood. The other members are Tsugiko Zenigata (after Heiji Zenigata, a Japanese legend), a somewhat tomboyish girl voiced by Miyuki Sawashiro; Hirano Hasegawa (after Heizo Hasegawa, from the Onihei Hankacho novels), a traditional Japanese girl who is a master of combat; and Saku Toyama (after Kagemoto Toyama, a historic character made legend), the technological expert of the gang.

She just keeps it going up

Don’t call her Kokoro-chan, she’ll get angry

However, the main source of conflict (and comedy) in the series is that, despite being quite powerful and capable as detectives with the aid of their toys, the Milkies are pretty much nothing without them. Dame dame (useless), is something they’ll often have to hear, as they constantly struggle with the loss of their toys at the start of almost every new installment (save for Futari wa and TD, in which they weren’t the main characters because of this exact reason). Nonetheless, in spite of how hard they might fall, how much they can be humiliated and degraded (and they sure will), and basically turn into dumb slapstick cartoons, they will always stand up again, never losing hope even when taking a detour, or when they’re becoming farmers instead.

Milky farmers

In this acknowledgment of the cyclical and absurd nature of their misfortunes, made explicit in the movie by the (unintentional) use of words by Sheryl: “it’s rise to fall”, the philosophical implications of the series are unlocked, at least from the Moriwaki iteration of it. It’s an absurd reality, in which no matter how high one can be, one can always fall to the lowest of the low. Yet, when you have fallen, there’s nothing else you can do but go up, try and hope for the best, never giving in to life no matter how discouraging or absurd it might become.

It’s existential philosophy, right inside a moe anime, and one can’t be anything but thankful of someone who is giving such messages inside a work that could conform to just offering a product for profit. Instead, what Milky Holmes is doing is to tell its audience that no matter how hard their lives might get, no matter how repeatedly they might hear that they’re useless, that they’re dumb or hopeless, they must never give up. It’s quite beautiful, even more so when you’re aware of the darker sides of the otaku and the stigma and social alienation a lot of these people face in their country. And so, Milky Holmes might be a ray of light amidst a rabbit hole of isolation, which can be relatable to most of us as we face the current pandemic. A sign that even if we can’t see it, there’s hope at the end of the tunnel.

Yes, she’s saying that when they’re in prison

Closing on a hopeful note, I’ll let you in on a cool fact. Do you know who directed the Milky Holmes movie alongside Moriwaki? I will give you some lines to guess, if you think you’re smart detectives.

… 

… 

… 

… 

… 

… 

… 

… 

Yes! It was Hiroaki Sakurai, who, coincidentally (or not), was the series director for most of the Di Gi Charat anime versions since its first installment in 1999. It’s really cool how everything circles back to a now almost prehistoric franchise, but it also circles back in a less symbolic way. 2021 seems to be a new year for Di Gi Charat, as the franchise is getting a revival as “Di Gi Charat Reiwa”, a new generation of the series which contemplates lots of merchandise and, most importantly, a new anime series, helmed by no other than the same Hiroaki Sakurai. Here’s hoping for a revitalization of this lively spirit, a hopeful affirmation of the disgusting manchildren we all have inside.

Promotional image for this era’s own Charat

Salvador González Turrientes

Links and additional sources of information:

Žižek on Kung Fu Panda 

The Milky Holmes article from the English Wikipedia 

Wikipedia list of the Milky Holmes characters (in English)

Takaaki Kidani's article (in English)

Takaaki Kidani’s article (in Japanese)

Di Gi Charat's Wikipedia (in English)  

Hiroaki Sakurai's (in English) 

Makoto Moriwaki's article (in English as well) 

The news of the Di Gi Charat Reiwa anime (from ANN) 

#Anime #Japan #essay #submission

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

the ultimate citation list for Schneider of ODAAT, volume 1

A reference collection of quotes and details, organized chronologically, for the first 26 episodes of One Day At A Time. Used to create this character guide.

“Can you believe it's only been 10 months since you moved in? I remember 'cause I got my five year sober chip and your mom baked me that cake. I enjoyed watching you guys eat it." 1x01

"You're 40 and you look stupid." “I'll have you know, I was invited to several Pride parades." 1x01

Uses a “very expensive” Damascus steel hammer. 1x01

"I've been doing some outreach down at the rec center, talking to at-risk youth. You guys wanna start takin' bets? Actually, scratch that. I'm addicted to gambling.” 1x01

"Love isn't even real. It's just something your nanny says sometimes to your dad." 1x02

"Hey, I may have money in the bank and two living parents, and four living stepmothers but there is a hole in here. We never had family meals. I ate alone in front of the TV. Oh, don't get me wrong. It was a massive TV. Sometimes my nanny would join me, but only if I agreed to watch telenovelas. This one time, Rosa got jealous of the housekeeper 'cause she was makin' a move on her man, so she threatened to throw live scorpions on her while she slept. Rosa was my nanny. Ex-nanny. Now, stepmother." 1x03

[Lydia and Pen fighting] “It's startin' to feel kinda like home in here.” 1x03

Schneider cooks fancy hipster food. "Nutted quinoa, wilted broccolini with radish micro-greens, and venison carpaccio on a bed of nettles. Grab a cedar plank and dig in." 1x04

"Always interesting to be the sober one at a dinner party." 1x05

"I immigrated here illegally. I'm a Canadian. But yeah, born in the 'Couve, overstayed my student visa, forced to live in the shadows of Pepperdine University. Anyway, it's fine now. My lawyers made it all okay." 1x05

Uses sheet masks, knows about chauffeurs, butlers, estates. 1x06

“The kids barely touched my black olive tapenade.” “Thanks for helping out, but maybe next time pick a food a kid would wanna eat or has heard of.” “Yeah, and maybe next time, don't hand out masks with my face on them.” 1x07  

"The members of my college band have finally put aside our differences and we're reuniting to play at the fair this afternoon. My band, Full Sail, plays yacht rock. These guys were like family. I used to show up at their dorm rooms unannounced and just hang out for hours and hours and hours." 1x07

"We were setting up for the show and our keytarist threw a decorative anchor at me. This is why Full Sail broke up in the first place. Too many passionate personalities." 1x07

Has a magnifying glass in his costume trunk. 1x07

"I know nothing about my grandparents and I never will. And they live in Pasadena!" (but he goes to 'the depot' in Pasadena) 1x09

"I have never seen such un-professionalism. This is why I don't work!" 1x09

"I need to find a new place to get my eyebrows threaded." 1x10

Has a safe. 1x10

"Well, Father believed it's best to have this kinda discussion in a car because you don't have to make eye contact. Plus, you're traveling in the same direction, which fosters intimacy. So we're in the Bentley with our chauffeur, Paco. Father said it's time to have the talk. We came to the next stoplight. He hopped out, Paco told me everything." 1x10

"I didn't get the period talk till I was 12. Paco just called it 'Shark Week.'" 1x10

"When I was a kid, there was an adult section in the back of the video store. Behind the beads. I'd always chicken out and just rent a Jane Fonda workout tape. Still worked. Still works." 1x10

"You'd be surprised how many of my hookups started with 'Ugh!' ...When I was 15, I told Father I wanted to be a professional tap dancer. He laughed. It was that lack of support that contributed to my drinking and drug problem. Oh, do you find that amusing? Because 15-year-old Schneider's drinking peach schnapps out of an unused tap shoe right now." 1x11

"You have a girl over here and you were offering to have sex with me?" - "Yes, Penelope. That's the kind of friend I am." 1x11

"My dad never came to my games. All he ever did was put me through rehab six times and buy me this building." 2x01

"Maroon 5 is the best." 2x01

"Okay, I decided to take a break from dating. See, I realized that women were just another one of my addictions, like alcohol, drugs, gambling, cigarettes, snow globes. The point is, I've broken the cycle of addiction with spinning. Five hours a day, every single day. I have to do it! Plus, it's the perfect substitute for dating, 'cause it burns a lot of energy and also numbs my junk!" 2x02

“Snow globes? Is this one of our family?” 2x02

"I come over, tell him to do stuff to me, he does it, I go home. You should get one." "I think what Nikki was kinda dancing around is that you don't always have to have a relationship with a capital "R." Sometimes all you need is what the great poets of the Renaissance called a junk buddy." "Exactly. You don't even have to like them." 2x03

"See, the great thing about having a green card is you get to live here without having to do all the stuff Americans have to, like vote or serve jury duty or become obese."

"Okay, but at least you vote in Canadian elections." "Mmm. No. Even in Canada, nothing ever changes. Clean air, sensible gun control, free health care. The system's rigged." 2x04

Can picture himself “doing it” with Elizabeth Warren, was Stephen Hawking for Halloween. 2x04

"You have to pay taxes with a green card? I just texted my accountant, and he said 'cause I'm in the highest income bracket, I don't have to pay taxes." 2x04

Keeps on hand: panic room, gas mask, water purification pills, MREs, enough cash to get to Cape Verde by boat. Followed Max on Instagram. Would be honored to be Penelope's maid of honor. 2x05

"I'm very patriotic. Look in that basket. There's a bald eagle thong." 2x06

All Elena's video game equipment belongs to him. 2x06

"Penelope, tell my third stepmother I loved her! Not the second one, though. She was kind of a jerk." 2x06

"Hummer limo's downstairs. My third stepmother used to take me to the racetrack to spy on Father. For the longest time, I thought she was saying, 'Your father is with Rebecca, that horse!' It's like I'm back at the racetrack with my stepmom. What's next? Throw a mint julep in his face?” 2x07

"I love Cuba! I've been there four times. Property manager, job's just temporary. My father owns the building. I'm really a musician. Play a lot of rap-rock-ska. I'm like a male Gwen Stefani. When you're hiring a nanny, make sure she's not too hot. That's how I met my fifth mom. I had four nannies and look at the results." 2x08

Did not speak a word of Spanish when he first met them, is interested in single moms. 2x08

"If you joined an adult kickball team after saying you were too busy to join mine, you are on a long road to forgiveness." 2x09

"Your idea of stress is when your chest-waxer goes out of town." "Roberto is the only one who doesn't make it sting!" 2x09

"I shouldn't have to need these either, but I do. To see. So it's Fourth of July, 2011. I'd been sober for a while, so I thought I'd celebrate with a beer. Woke up three days later in an alley. Then the bowling ball hit me. I was in the gutter for a long time. It's really slippery without the shoes. That was the day I truly accepted that I can't have alcohol or drugs, ever. Not a beer, not a glass of wine, not even six hits of acid at a Grateful Dead show, no matter how well it makes me dance. I kinda get where you're coming from. There's something I want that I can't have for the rest of my life." 2x09

He and Pen are best friends. Also considers Max his bestie. Wants to Netflix and chill with them both, together. 2x09

"My abuelita used to put Vicodin in her coffee. And her lemonade and her sandwiches. Maybe she had a problem. As my father said to me on my ninth birthday, 'You don't need me anymore.' I use my garage for pickling and sea horse breeding." 2x10

Loves puns. "This is Elena Alvarez, my handyman mentee. Or handy-manatee." "The toilet is a cruel mistress. She is flush with complications." 2x10

"Herb and Sherb McGurb. Her real name is Sheryl, but she gets a kick out of Sherb." 2x10

"Bonsai's for dorks. This is penjing. The gentle Chinese art of tray scenery. Now that you're working for me, I finally have some leisure time." "Oh, look, there's little people. Wait, is that my family?" "Could be any Cuban family." 2x10

"I may only look two or three years older than you, but I have the wisdom of that ancient bonsai!" 2x10

"Always take the lemonade. That's Handyman 101! So you watched Jeopardy with them and then what? Well, now we know what your problem is! You fixed their toilet, but you didn't fix their souls. Elena, growing up, I had everything. But I was always alone. I don't want my tenants to feel that way, so I do more than just fix stuff. Apartment 306, macrame with Mrs. Watson. 201, lose at chess to Mr. Roth. 402, listen to all their Cuban nonsense. That's the job. That's what takes four hours. That's the difference between being a handyman and a super." 2x10

Has heard 'you're fired' a lot. 2x10

"After a grueling 30 minutes of thought, Nikki, will you be my starter wife? You're on the rebound. That's the best time to get married. You don't have time to think. So you were never thinking about me? My emotions? My feelings? You used me, Nikki, Finn's mom! And not in the way I like! And that's not all, Sister Barbara. We knew each other. Biblically. And while we were doing it, she took the Lord's name in vain. A lot!" 2x11

"Last night, I was testing the pH of the water in my seahorse ranch and, as I looked at those vomiting little guys, I realized I suck at tests. All tests. Drug, sobriety, vision, IQ, smog. You name it, I fail it!" 2x12

"Have you ever been arrested?” “Does public nudity at a hockey game count?” “There is, uh, no mention of a public nudity charge in your file.” “Oh, you just go to YouTube and type in 'Zam-boner.'" 2x12

"Yeah, they didn't specifically ask if I got drunk and tried to ride a moose, so after that I was golden." 2x12

"How important is having kids to you?" "Never really thought about it." 2x12

"I'll have you know I babysat my babysitter's kids while she was babysitting my dad, so, yeah, I got a little experience under my belt. Oh, it's my cousin Gordy. He still thinks I'm full-on Canadian. All right, good news is Gordo bought it. Bad news is I'm judging a poutine festival in Saskatoon next week." 2x12

"You're the single greatest mother I know." "Thank you. That means a lot coming from a guy with five moms." 2x12

"Fuzzy Afghan she likes, picture of the Pope, picture of a different Pope, picture of your dad, picture of the family, picture of me with the family, picture of me by a waterfall. I'm just gonna keep talking 'cause I'm not good in crisis situations." 2x13

"It's so crazy how we're both immigrants. I mean, I would never compare my story to yours, but the parallels are spooky. You were 18, I was 18. You left your family behind. I left four step-families, a maid, a butler, a chauffeur, and a horse groomer who really got me. But Father was expanding his business to the US and so I had to go. I remember, at the airport, I was crying. But Father put his arm around me and he said, 'Son, only losers cry.' So that was a long flight. You don't know how dirty a dirty look can get until you're crying for a whole plane ride and you're not a baby. I really didn't wanna be in America. So I drank. And I recreated the snowy plains of Canada with cocaine. I'm told I attended classes at Pepperdine University, but I will have to take that on faith. So, I'm in a detox center in El Segundo. This was my fourth rehab. My re-re-re-rehab. I thought I'd been doing a kickass job keeping my drug stuff a secret from all the tenants and then you showed up in my room at that clinic. You brought me sopa de pollo and said it's Cuban penicillin. You told me, 'You eat this, you get some sleep, and tomorrow, you try again.' And then you tucked me in and kissed me good night on my forehead. Forehead kisses are wildly underrated. Just something really comforting about 'em. Then again, it might just be you. Dad never did that. Or my horse groomer. After I got out of rehab, I started hanging around your apartment a lot more, 'cause it helped. Back then, it must have felt like you had this annoying, intrusive guy over. Not like now. 'Cause now you're my family. Don't worry. I haven't legally changed my last name to Alvarez. My lawyer said it was a whole thing, so... Anyway, Pen said no crying, so I'm not gonna. Actually, for once, I agree with Father. Only losers cry. And we're not losing anybody today. Let's hit that oath ceremony soon, okay?" 2x13

#schneider #reference #odaat #one day at a time