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crimsonkenjii-writes · 3 years

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Hi :DD can i request a giyuu x childhood friend reader? Where they met during the final selection and reunite when she became the lightning pillar? The lightning pillar headcannons made me melt 👌👌😭 i loved it alot and i thought the idea would be cute, don't need to do it tho if you want to ofc :D thankiess 💙

Hello!! Thank you for the request and thank you so much for liking those headcannons!! 🥺 Of course I’ll write it ^^

Here’s the Fem!Lightning Pillar headcannons

Giyuu Tomioka x Fem!Lightning Pillar

Synopsis: You and Giyuu had met when you were doing the final selection and became friends with him. However, life made you drift apart and you both became pillars just to meet one another again.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　♡　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

You panted heavily as you ran through thick fog and towering trees. Your hand griping firmly around the hilt of your nichirin blade. Your eyes were darting from every direction, waiting for another demon to pop out of nowhere and take a slash at you. There was rustling ahead of you and prepared your blade. You brought both your hand to your blade handle and lifted your arms to swing when-

‘Shit, it’s a slayer!’

A small boy with long black hair and a red haori looked at you frightened as you had your blade lifted, ready to slice him down. You couldn’t stop yourself, you had already charged and you couldn’t stop now. In a flash, another boy appears out of seemingly nowhere and connects your two swords, pushing you away with his strength.

You went skidding to the side and almost tumbled over. You were too much in a panic of almost slicing another slayer to process the boy’s strength. After you got your grounding, you quickly jog to the two boys, “I’m so sorry! The fog was so thick and I thought it was a demon! Please excuse my incompetence!” You bowed low to the two boys just to hear one of them scoff.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be a slayer if you cannot tell the difference between human and demon.” The boy with pinkish hair spat.

You cocked a brow at the boy and thought to yourself ‘what’s with this kid??’ You opened your mouth to argue before the boy with black hair interrupted, “It-it’s fine, Sabito. I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

“Tch, fine. Just as long as she learns her lesson.”

You raised your brow at the pink haired boy with squared patterned haori again. You then noticed that the both of them had fox masks on.

“Oh? What are those. They look very nice. Whoever made them must be really good at woodcarving.”

“It’s a warding mask,” replied the pink haired boy, “to help keep evil spirits and demons away. The craftsmanship is very good. Urokodaki Sensei is very talented and taught us all we know.”

“And you two are?”

“I’m Sabito and this here is Giyuu...”

“Ah, hello Sabito, Giyuu. I’m Y/N,” you bow once again and they do the same, greeting you. “Let’s just forget that incident. I’m sorry, Giyuu.” You smile at him and he timidly tells you it was alright and that they’ll look past it now.

You tagged along with the two for a couple a days. You were very surprised by how strong Sabito was. He was saving everyone and no demon was too strong for him. It was amazing watching him. Giyuu was strong as well but Sabito kept outshining him.

One day, a demon attacked the three of you and you ended up getting separated from the two and finished the rest of Final Slection on your own. Once you reached the wisteria section of the mountain to claim your ore and uniform, you were too out of it from injuries and exhaustion that you didn’t see Sabito or Giyuu again. You figured they’d both be alright though.

━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━

Years had passed and you had become stronger. You accomplished Total Concentration Breathing Constant and slayed a number of demons. You quickly climbed the ranks as you went on more mission and killed more demons. Eventually you were finally able to slay one of the Twelve Kizuki and was given the message to join the Hashiras.

You were pretty banged up from the demon and met Shinobu before any of the other Pillars. She tended your wounds and gave you medicated water to ease your pain before guiding you to Master Ubuyashiki’s garden where everyone else had been waiting.

You felt very nervous to see such a range of people. Two of them were very, very tall and stood in the way of seeing some of the other pillars.

They were all greeting you and asking you a ton of questions. Many of them were very proud to see another slayer defeat a Twelve Kizuki and join them in the ranks. Eventually, Master Ubuyashiki made his appearance and everyone got in line to kneel to him. You did the same until he called you up front to introduce you to everyone. You were finally able to see all of the pillars now that everyone was in line. You scan through until you see a familiar face, farthest away and the end of the line.

You eyes widen after seeing a familiar red haori with raven, black hair sat on top and ocean blue eyes staring right back at you. ‘I can’t believe it,’ you thought to yourself, ‘It’s Giyuu! I thought I’d never see him again!’ You were ecstatic to talk to him again but had to wait until Ubuyashiki had dismissed everyone first.

The meeting finally came to an end and you made a beeline to Giyuu, ignoring all the other pillars who wanted to ask further questions.

“Giyuu?! Is that you? It’s me! Y/N! We were in final selection together! Gods, I can’t believe it! I thought I’d never see you again!” He’d grown a lot since you last saw him. His hair was longer, his jaw was more defined and you now had to look up to meet his eyes. Dare you say he looked more handsome.

“Y-Y/N, Its been so long.” Giyuu stuttered out, completely flustered. He could feel his cheeks burning the more he spoke with you. You hadn’t grown much in height but your body filled out more and your hair had gotten a bit longer as well. He was nervous to say that you were making his heart flutter again.

“Don’t be so shy, give me a hug!! I can’t belive you’re a Hashira, how did that even happen?” You continued on as you outstretched your arms to pull Giyuu in. He was very stiff and awkward but couldn’t resist embracing you after thinking you’ve been dead for years. He was completely wrong. You were strong, so strong in fact that you managed to take out one of the Twelve Kizuki and became a Pillar. For some strange reason, he felt so proud of you despite not seeing you for so long.

All the other Pillars just stared in disbelief and confusion. Who where you? How did you know Tomioka? How did you get him to talk? How the heck did you get him to hug you?! And how were you making him so flustered?!?! He’s stoic!!

After pulling away from the hug, you opened your mouth to ask about Sabito when you noticed the other half of his haori. Your eyes softened and touched the yellow and green patterns, you heart sinking a little. You bring your eyes back to Giyuu’s, “Did... did Sabito... not... not make it...?” You ask him sadly, tears threatening to swell your eyes. Giyuu’s eye become very sad as he looks to the side and just simply shakes his head.

“I’m so sorry, Giyuu... he was a very good man. I’m sure he’ll be reincarnated, his heart was very kind and pure.”

The other Pillars finally interrupted and started bombarding you with more questions and you spent some time talking with all of them and keeping Giyuu close to you since he kept trying to leave. You still wanted to talk with him afterwards.

━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━

“Ugh, what a relief!” You let out as you stretch your arms upwards, “I thought they’d never stop asking questions.”

You and Giyuu were walking side by side and leaving Ubuyashiki’s garden.

You excitedly turn to Giyuu, you eyes sparkling as you made contact with his deep, ocean blue ones, “We have so much to catch up on! Tell me, Giyuu, what Pillar are you?”

The both of you spoke all night and caught eachother up on a lot of things. You talked a bit more than Giyuu did of course, but he still replied and shared enough of his thoughts to not make it seem like you were talking to a brick wall.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━

━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Giyuu was so relieved to see that you were okay. He knows he didn’t know you a lot but there was just something so magnetizing about you when you first met. He couldn’t help but feel so interested in you. You’d occasionally come across his mind the years you weren’t there and he would just wonder what you were up to. Pessimism would often creep in and make him think that you might already be dead. He tried his best to shake those thoughts but there was a high chance of that being the reality. Being a slayer never guaranteed a safe future.

It turns out all those pessimistic thoughts were wrong and now here you were, reunited with him. He couldn’t understand why he was so overjoyed to see you again. His heart pounded a bit more around you now than it did years ago. It confused him how you made his thoughts hazy and his temperature rise. But most importantly, he was just so relieved that you were still alive. And to top it all off, you became a Hashira. I mean, a Hashira! The new Lighting Pillar! It made him feel so proud of you. He couldn’t believe you were that strong. Not that he ever doubted you, he just feared that since he enjoyed your presence that you’d be doomed to die too soon.

But now you’re here, stronger than he could have ever imagined, and he was not going to let you leave his side ever again.

#sorry this took so long it takes me a while to write scenarios #I hope you still enjoy it though and that it was worth the wait :)#demon slayer #kny #tomioka giyuu #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba #tomioka giyuu x reader #giyuu x reader #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader

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plus-size-reader · 4 years

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Abomination

‘

Castiel x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2490 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Having a child with Cas and he leaves because an angel cannot be with a human, he comes back years later knowing he was wrong

——————————————————————————————————

The love that you and Castiel shared was fleeting, like a match that was extinguished by the wind.

However, just like a match, your love burned bright and strong and you never thought that it was ever going to end

Every moment was better than the last from the second you met him and for the first time in your life, you found that you were completely and totally happy.

You’d made peace with the fact that Castiel was an angel of the Lord long ago, and it made sense that there were certain things he had to attend to sometimes.

That being said though, there had always been some things about Cas that you had trouble getting passed.

When you found out that you were pregnant for example, Castiel was constantly talking about having to keep it a secret. Through no fault of your own, no one could know.

However, when you asked why that was, Castiel explained that the baby growing within you was an abomination. Angels should not procreate with any entity in creation, humans least of all.

The resulting spawn would be cast out of heaven indefinitely, and he didn’t want to doom a child with that kind of fate. What sort of man would make that choice? It wasn’t his place.

...And that only left him with one choice.

Castiel knew that if your baby was ever going to have a normal life, he would have to leave. It was an unpleasant thought, and he didn’t want to have to do it but he wasn’t going to put your child in danger.

He wasn’t going to put you in danger, for that matter.

Having Castiel’s baby would put a huge target on your back, with angels and demons alike. He knew that there was just no way that he would be able to live with himself if something happened to you.

If for nothing else, they would kill you just for tampering with his holiness.

It was just a simple fact that you had no way of keeping yourself safe from an all out angel attack, so he made it easy on everyone involved.

Without saying a word to you, he packed all his things and hit the road.

It would be painless that way, or so he thought.

In his mind, if he wasn’t there to witness it, perhaps it would be easier for you to process.

Emotions were still rather hard for him to deal with, in that way. Your time together had taught him alot about feeling, and caring for his father’s creations. However, he had never gathered any experience in this area.

More than anything, he just wanted to make sure that you would be safe. He didn’t want you to be in any danger because of him. It just wasn’t something he was willing to do.

Not that his leaving actually made anything easier on you.

All it did was guarantee that you had to raise your baby girl all by yourself, while also missing the love of your life.

It was harder on you than anything ever had been before and had Castiel been around, it would have broken his heart. Luckily for him though, Cas was preoccupied with the Winchesters, keeping him from constantly thinking about you both.

Instead, he could focus on keeping Sam and Dean out of trouble.

For the first couple of years, it was fine. Grace wasn’t showing any signs of her power but that all seemed to change over night.

Without so much as a warning, you entered your daughters bedroom, expecting the six year old you’d tucked into bed the night before. However, in her child-sized bed, was a full sized girl.

She looked to be at least seventeen years old and you could hardly believe it. In fact, if you weren’t seeing it with your own two eyes, you likely would have refused it as the truth.

You’d never seen this person in your life and your first thought was that something awful had happened to Grace.

Perhaps someone had broken in in the middle of the night and hurt her, but you chose to forget about that as a possibility. There was no way that anyone would dare.

“Who are you? Where’s Grace?” you yelled, holding a doll baby in front of you like a weapon. You had no idea where she went but you were determined to find her.

If Grace was in danger, there was nothing you wouldn’t do to bring her back home. However, you had to figure out how this stranger got into your house first.

The girl shot out of bed, looking beyond confused as she looked at you, her bright eyes wide.

...Those eyes.

As soon as you saw those eyes, you found yourself taking a deep breath even if you didn’t want to. You couldn’t mistake those eyes, and as shocked as you were, you knew that this was Grace.

What you didn’t know was how this had happened. It had to have something to do with Castiel, you knew that much. You just weren’t sure if reaching out to him was worth it.

After the way everything went down between the two of you, you had no idea if he would even answer you or care.

There was only one thing that you knew for sure, and it was that if you wanted to know what had happened, you had to reach out to him.

This had to be something angel related, and that wasn’t your area of expertise.

The biggest problem though, aside from everything else, was that you weren’t really sure how to get a hold of Castiel. He did exactly have a telephone, but eventually you came up with something.

You weren’t sure if it would work but you gave it a try.

With a sigh, you knelt down on the side of your bed and bowed your head down, like you thought you ought to. You hadn’t made a habit of praying to angels but it wasn’t rocket science.

You hoped that your intentions would do enough.

“Hey Castiel, I’m not sure if you can hear me but if you can, I need your help” you started, shocked at the sound of your voice, clearly much more desperate than you’d been planning.

When it came to your baby girl, you couldn’t keep from being a bit protective. The idea of anything happening to her killed you, and if you had to put your past with Cas behind you to ensure her safety, you would.

Anything would be worth it.

Now, Castiel heard your prayer of course. There was no way that he couldn’t have, especially because the bond that you two shared connected you two even if he usually ignored it.

It was dangerous for you to even mutter his name out loud, but rather than focus on that, he chose to take note of the desperation in your voice.

You clearly had no one else to turn to, and you mustn't have if you were really willing to contact him.

After all, you had never tried before and it had been a number of years by this point. You didn’t know where he was or if he was even out there, and yet, you were putting yourself in danger on the off chance he was.

Which meant that something was very wrong.

Wrong to the point where he knew that he had to find out what it was, or else your life would be in danger for nothing at all, and he would never know why.

It just wasn’t a risk he was willing to take.

He had to be where you were involved.

“It’s okay honey, we’re going to figure this out” you hummed, doing your best to comfort her as you sat on her bed, comforting the girl as best you could.

You couldn’t really say anything to make her feel better about what she was experiencing but you knew that you had to try. Assuming that Castiel didn’t show up, you would have to just figure it out yourself.

You didn’t have any other choice.

Now, at this point, Cas was on his way to your house, the same place you had once shared with him before Grace was born.

He had done a fine enough job at warding it from harm that you didn’t have to leave, but even if something did happen, he would have found out. Leaving didn’t mean he didn’t have tabs on you always.

It would kill him to lose you.

Having to not be in your life anymore was bad enough but at least this way, he knew that the two of you were still breathing. However, due to the urgent tone in your prayer, he didn’t know how much longer you would be.

Perhaps the angels had finally put the pieces together, though he hoped to his father that wasn’t the case.

You were about to ask Grace if she wanted to help make lemonade with you, in a pitiful effort to distract her, when the doorbell rang.

That was strange.

No one knew where you lived, seeing as your living family no longer spoke to you and you had practically cut yourself off from society to protect Grace. Though, it did cross your mind that maybe a solicitor had just wandered into the neighborhood.

...If only.

That would have been much easier to explain to your already distraught daughter but when you opened the door, you found Castiel standing there.

It was his vessel at least, but you knew well enough to know that if another angel had picked up his meatsuit, they wouldn’t have just come here. This had to be him, which meant that he got your prayer.

He had actually come.

It hurt to admit but you actually didn’t expect him to show up.

“What did you do to her?” you started, not even bothering with petty small talk or casual conversation. It didn’t matter what he was doing here or why he had left in the first place.

All you cared about right now was making sure that your little girl was okay, and to figure out why she was no longer a little girl at all.

Even still, Castiel only stared at you, honesty stunned at the way you looked. You were stunning, though you had gained a little bit of weight since he’d last seen you.

It wasn’t a bad thing, of course, just an observation.

In fact, he caught himself gawking at you without even meaning too, shocked at how quickly the feelings crashed into him as he looked in your eyes.

For so long he pushed memories of you to the side, almost as if mourning a death, but you weren’t gone. Clearly, you were very much alive and he was here to make sure that didn’t change.

“I didn’t do anything. I came as soon as I heard your prayer” he tried, the last thing he wanted was for you to think he would ever lay a hand on your daughter.

He had left, sure, but it was ultimately to protect the two of you. He never would have done it if he had any other choice. Though, he could understand if you didn’t want to hear that.

After all, he had never told you that.

“Well, I guess I have someone to introduce you too then” you suggested, opening the door a bit wider to let him pass. It was a casual motion but Castiel didn’t move.

He couldn’t, but it took you a second to realize that.

“Right, sorry” you huffed, reaching behind the door to scrap a small divot into the warding symbol painted on it. As soon as you did so, Castiel was at your side, not daring to get ahead of you.

Your daughter would likely not recognize him after all this time. You both knew it but neither of you wanted to speak that sad reality into existence. It was much easier to ignore it like a bad dream.

It was much less painful to pretend that Castiel didn’t just abandon you both.

You didn’t have anything to say at first as you stood outside Grace’s bedroom, the angel at your side, but luckily, Cas knew where to go from there.

One of you had to break the ice with her.

“Mom, what’s going on?” she spoke first, only really caring once the two of you were standing in front of her together. It was odd to see someone else, especially because she was very well hidden.

You didn’t have many visitors.

“Grace, my name is Castiel...I’m here to help” he tried, his voice just as slight and one tone as you would have expected. He really had no idea how to speak to his own daughter and it broke your heart.

However, it wasn’t until you took a turn at it that she spoke. “Honey, Castiel is-”

“I know who he is”

It shocked you, but not for the reason that you would have thought. The last time Grace saw Castiel, she was only a year or so old. There should have been no reason that she would remember that.

Though, as you were pondering that, Castiel was surveying the young girl, trying to figure out what had happened to her. He thought he knew before, but this had only confirmed his suspicions.

…

“Grace is a nephilim” Castiel explained, pulling you away from the earshot of your daughter. You had no idea what that was, not really, but it didn’t matter.

For a moment you were just relieved, glad that he had some clue what was going on with her. It was much better than the two of you being lost when it came to her.

Someone had to make sure that she was alright, and you should have known that if anyone had the answers it was Cas. It was always Cas and it frustrated you.

Maybe if he had been here, this wouldn’t have happened.

...But you swallowed that before you could upset yourself. “Okay, what does that mean?” you hummed, trying to keep your head on straight. You had to remember what this was about.

This was all for Grace.

“I assumed that she was conceived of your biology and my vessels when she was an infant, but that doesn’t seem to be the case” he tried, speaking as clearly as he could.

If Grace was actually of angel descent, that meant he had done well in keeping you both hidden all this time ago. It was much more dangerous for her to actually have angel anatomy.

It complicated things but it was the only explanation for what had happened to her.

Now, the two of you just had to figure out what to do about it...which may have actually been the hard part.

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fleshblueberry · 3 years

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Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored

Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality

I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-

When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)

Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.

now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-

Jam out!

... I don't even know what to say to this

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stardancerluv · 3 years

Text

Puzzle Piece

Part 7a

Summary: Alot of things come to light.

Note: reader has esteem issues, oral sex male receiving, dom!kink, & sex.

Getting a drink, you poured yourself some sake. You knew this particular one should be warmed but right now, you could not handle that formality. You needed to simply drink it. Within the last week your entire world had turned upside down.

For certain you were grateful that Ford had not died. You were also grateful that you no longer had to worry about why a chill clung to him or his heart that barely beat. Though your whole idea of reality, living and being dead were no longer anything you were certain of.

Swallowing the smooth liquid you tried to grasp onto something. You couldn’t. While pouring yourself a third, a fuzzy warmth made you feel less unsure about things. You grabbed the bottle and made your way back to your bedroom. You found Ford sitting with his back against the headboard.

“There you are.” He remarked.

You smiled and went over to him. “I needed a drink.”

His mouth twitched upward. “A few actually from the smell of it. Did you bring some for me?”

You nodded. “For us.” You put the bottle down on your nightstand. You eyed his lap, before meeting his eyes. “May I?”

He nodded. “Yes, you know I enjoy you in my lap.”

You couldn’t place a finger on it, possibly because of the sake, but that was oddly the most erotic and comforting thing you had ever heard. Right now, both were exactly what you needed to feel alive, grounded.

Climbing up you straddled his lap, leaned over and grabbed the bottle. His fingers grazed yours as he took it from you. “I need to catch up.” He sniffed it. “Oh.” He made a soft sound. “This is a good one.” You watched as he took a hearty gulp.

“So why me?”

He took the bottle from his lips, and rubbed them with the back of his hand. He put the bottle down. “When I saw you on that park bench I had to come over and say hi. You were so lovely.” He idly ran his hands on your thighs before he rested them beside you. “The night before I had fallen asleep in one of the bushes in that park, it was your delicate scent that roused me from the darkness.”

“Because you wanted to eat me?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “I’ve wanted to devour you. But not like that.” He smirked. “I thought we could have fun together.”

“Oh?”

He nodded. “Yeah baby, then you challenged me and excited me. I grew curious.” He looked away before looking back at you as he raked his fingers through his hair. “Honestly, I have enjoyed how dynamic you are.”

“How’s that?” You took the bottle and took a swig, you weren’t sure if you wanted the answer. Though how he said you were caused nervousness in the bottom of your tummy.

“Living this long I’ve grown bored with the usual meeting and getting to know someone. I haven’t bothered getting to know anyone, I’ve just been eating and walking away.”

You nodded. “What makes me different?”

“Your beauty drew me and then I grew to care about you.” He simply said.

Something about that was particularly dark. It excited you, you didn’t know why but it did. “Should I worry, that one day you will tire of me?”

He shook his head. “Baby, I let it be known that you’re mine. I claimed you.” Taking the bottle from you, he took another drink again. “To be honest, I’ve never done that. I’ve had a few who stuck around but I never claimed any of them.”

You knew that you should be happy that he claimed you, but you were pretty sure that you couldn’t compete with anyone else he had cared for. You were just you. Desperately, you tried to withdraw emotionally. He could very well have fallen for princesses or queens, how could you possibly compete.

“Baby, don’t pull away. There is no reason to even feel a twinge of jealousy.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but the fact that he knew stopped you. “How?” Was all you could say, as your heart beat painfully in your chest at the thought of the others.

“I could feel it. I’ve developed gifts over all my years. One of them is gauging the emotions I feel coming off people. It makes me a better hunter.”

“How could I compete with anyone? I’m just a girl.” He placed a finger to your lips, but you brushed it aside as tears prickled your eyes. “A girl,” you swallowed. “whose lover was killed. You are like a sex god on two legs, who has probably had several women begging to be with you.”

A smug expression washed over his face but then it grew serious. Your breath quickened as his hands drifted up your legs till they slipped under you cami. “Do you have any idea how desirable you are?” His thumbs caressed your sides gently.

You looked away, you had not felt that way in years. Even then, Jerome had been the one to convince you. His cool hands gently squeezed your hips. “Look at me.” His voice had an edge, which brought knots to the pit of your stomach.

Reluctantly you did. His blue eyes dark and his lips were a grim line. “When I was a mortal, artists sketched me or carved my likeness. That’s why I became a fucking ghoul. The vampire who took my life felt my beauty needed to be preserved.”

You had been right, but for the first time ever you didn’t want to be. Why hadn’t the vampire made him a vampire, wasn’t a ghoul a step down, you wondered.

“It’s something I’ve always taken pride in. I use my looks and my charm.” He smirked. “To get what I want, when I want it. But to be honest, when I saw you I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you.”

You flushed.

“Look, the first one I had a relationship with was a handmaiden of Cleopatra, I was infatuated with her. She had taught me how to be a man. I had been a boy with an infatuation.” He shrugged. “When I heard she had died with her mistress, I fled. I stuck to the shadows and avoided all those with ties to Rome.”

“How?” Your interest was growing.

He placed a finger to your lips. “One day, I will tell you. But not now. Ok?” He rose his eyebrows.

You nodded. Something about how he spoke to you now or even silenced you, made you incredibly happy to be his. It made your heart race. It felt as if some kind of wall that had been between the two of you was finally gone.

“The last one I had any kind of connection to was a lady in the court of Czar Nicholas’s wife, Alexandra.” He shrugged. “We met by chance and got to exist outside of the world of rules and protocols of the court.” He grimaced. “What we had was more mutual, but like the one before her. She died. We never saw it coming. Once again, I escaped with those of my kind. I managed to make it here to America where I stayed till the wind of violence ended.”

He took another swig. “So there I am, I was drawn to you baby. You are special in ways I never knew existed. The ghost of your past love was worthy of novels and poems. How you survived his death is beyond me. You are so damn strong. Till you I never knew ghosts were real. I always thought it was some silly way humans would cope with death.”

“But...” He put his finger to your lips again. This time you closed your eyes when he did, letting a soft sound come from you. Something grabbed you as he spoke. It was intoxicating.

“All right, I’ll be quiet.” You said softly, your lips grazing his fingers. Slowly, you opened your eyes.

You watched as he licked and bit his bottom lip. You could not resist squeezing your legs against his.

“I went for a drink.” He continued. “I needed to see if I could push you away. You brought an intensity, an energy in me I had not felt since my maker. It was there I met Jerome. He told me of you and what had happened to him.”

Your breath caught at his name. It had been Jerome, that showed you desire, need. But now with Ford. It was so sharp and intense. As he rocked you gently, he went back to having both hands under your cami. The ache you began to feel for Ford was growing.

“He had wanted to tell me, that he wished you nothing but happiness. That he had wished you’d move on and now be with me. He sees something in me, that I don’t even understand.” He made a face. “But he so desperately wanted the pain you had been feeling to be replaced with love and passion once again.”

“Perhaps that’s why he went into me. I still don’t understand any of it. But know this, that despite caring for those others, I always saw an eventual end.” He shrugged. “Maybe not murder but an end.” He drew close. A sigh came from you as you felt his hand on your cheek, his thumb caressing you. “I don’t see that with you.”

“Ford?”

“Yes.”

“Kiss me.” You breathed.

“I’m going to do more than that.” He pulled you against him. “Do you feel that?”

You moaned, he was very hard under the cotton pajama pants he had slipped into. You’re slick with your desire. “I do but there is something I’ve been wanting to do. Will you indulge me?” You met his eyes from under your lashes.

“Indulge you? I suppose I could.” His words made you shiver.

Gently taking his hands, you placed them beside the two of you. You shimmied till you were between his legs. Once you were kneeling, you reached up and released him comfortably from the confines of his pajama pants.

Your mouth watered. You wrapped your fingers around him, moving up and down. Meeting his eyes, you smiled. “I’ve been wanting to devour you. Feel you hard in my mouth.”

“Baby.” He purred, his fingers ran through your hair.

Holding him you licked slowly from base to tip. You could vaguely remember the lovemaking the two of you had done earlier. Though, you could tell he must have tidied himself up before he had drifted off. You slowly slipped him into your mouth. It felt so good to have him there. Though he certainly filled your mouth like he had the rest of you.

As you braced yourself, you smiled as one of his hands held yours, your fingers interlaced. While with his other hand he gently held your hair to help anchor you and let you set the pace.

Your lips and tongue worked together. The beat of the ache between your legs began to match your pace. For a moment, you just barely paused as you felt his fingers withdraw from your hair or how you were no longer holding hands. But the pleasure from dragging your mouth up and down on him was too good to stop.

You felt a slight tug then a breeze, as the fabric of your cami floated down on either side of you.

You moaned around his hardness as you arched to his touch. His fingers had found the tiny buds that were your nipples. He rolled them between his fingers.

A low purr that could have been a growl came from him. “Does my baby like that?”

Somehow you managed a yes, as you moved with his fingers feeling yourself get even wetter. You could have cum from just that. You sucked and moved even tighter over his hard length.

He trembled himself, you pulled your mouth off him. You met his eyes. “Do you want to-” a loud moaned poured from yours as his fingers continued to play with your nipples. You writhed and arched where you knelt.

“What baby? What do I want?”

You swallowed. “Do you want to cum in my mouth or in me?”

One of his hands left your breasts and you felt as his thumb dragged across your lower lip. “As much as I want to cum in this sweet mouth of yours. I want you to ride me as I sit.”

“Oh...” Your voice shook at his words.

Gathering yourself up and hovering above him, you then slid onto his length. You loved how his hands rested on your hips. Together you moved. Your eyes locked, occasionally a hungry kiss took you. But it would break as a moan would come over the two of you.

Lost in the feeling of him so deeply inside, you took his hands and held them against your headboard. Holding them there you rode him harder.

He drew close. “Are you pinning me to your headboard?”

You pressed a little harder, as you did you felt a little wetter. “Maybe.”

“All right.” He said in a tone you couldn’t read as his lips curled into a smirk.

You were calling out when you found yourself on your back with your hands pinned above your head. He was above and deep inside you.

A moan poured from you.

“You need to know, you need to feel who has claimed you, baby.”

“Yes.” Was all you could say.

You trembled under him, he continued to move in and out.

“Are you mine?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“I’m yours.”

“Are you going to let me feel you cum around me?”

You matched his thrusts. And before you could stop yourself you did just that.

“That’s my baby.”

Moving his grip on your wrists, he let you wrap your arms around him as he thrust deeper and you melted under him.

“You’re mine. All fucking mine.” He growled. And then you felt as he came deeply in you.

*****

Sighing, languid kisses between the two of you were passed as he held you in the hot bath. Your sweet smelling bath salts swirled in the water. Relaxation and just tenderness was between you.

“You’re going to regret not letting me have her ghoulie. Mark my words. Relax now I’d say, she will be in pieces at what will be left of your mangled body.” Ford stiffened as the vampire’s voice filled his mind.

“Fuck you, fangs.” He concentrated and soon he pushed the vampire out.

“Ford, Ford.”

Startled he looked at you. “Yes, baby?”

“You were suddenly far away.”

He chuckled. “It’s you, baby. You leave me dazed.”

You smiled. “Oh Ford, you can be so silly.” You chuckled and nestled close.

Choices and decisions had to be made. In the end, he was certain he wasn’t going to like what had to be done in order to beat that fucking vampire. But now he held your warm curvy body tighter against him and allowed his dead heart to enjoy more heartbeats than it’s had in centuries.

@mac-n-cheesie @shantellorraine @vcat55 @fandomgirl800

#femi!reader #ewan mcgregor #ewan mcgregor imagine #ewan mcgregor angst #ewan mcgregor fluff #ewan mcgregor fanfiction #ford #ford imagine #ford fanfiction #ford angst #ford fluff #ford x you #ford x y/n #ford x reader #ford smut #cold wars tales from the cyrpt #tales from the cyrpt #puzzle pieces #part 7a

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mauve-n-arcadia · 4 years

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Apart

By: Mauve

Trigger Warnings: Death, Attempted Suicide .

I was born with the ability to see my death. Deaths are beings that come into creation with our life. They take the form of what we imagine them as.

When I was a small child, I had no concept of death, so my death became an imaginary friend changing shape all the time. My parents would always comment on the fact that I was staring at nothing, playing with no one, and talking to myself. They figured I’d outgrow it.

I didn’t.

The first time I saw something die, I was able to see it’s death too. It was my class's pet hamster. It’s death took the form of a cat. The cat calmly let the hamster climb upon it’s back, and they walked off, disappearing into nothing. I was confused. I stared back at the lifeless body, I looked to where they disappeared.

“Where did they go?” I asked my death. My death shook its head.

I knew that that the cat I saw was the same as my friend who had been with me since birth, but the hamster had been able to touch their death. I had never been able to touch mine. Communicating with anything other than gestures always greatly taxed us both. I reached out to mine, but they recoiled.

Following this event, my teachers and my parents, they had to explain the concept of death to me, and of loss of life.

“But where does your death take you mummy?” I had asked.

“Why to heaven of course.” She answered. I looked to my death, now in the shape of a cat, they shrugged.

As I grew older, and more aware of the concept of death, I began to be able to see other peoples death. Some took the form of someone they use to know, others took the form of religious icons, others the person's worst fear. Some deaths tried to never catch their persons eyes, always fluttering around, trying to seem unassuming. Others sat on their persons shoulders, and some seemed to try and keep their distance. You could tell alot about a person by looking at their death.

My death and I walked side by side.

Sometimes my death would protect me.

Two paths in the woods, my death would block the way down one, and make me take the other.

A van pulled up next to me once when I was still an adolescent, I walked to the window. My Death took my hand, I felt dread fill me up from the stomach and tumble out of me into the surrounding air. They pulled me away. Run. They communicated wordlessly.

My death touched me. I grew fascinated, always reaching out to my death. They never took my hand again. Sometimes my death seemed annoyed that I was constantly trying to touch it, other times, it would seem lonely, and try to reach out as well. Sometimes, we would pass through each other, and other times, there was an invisible force between us. I read everything I could on the topic of death, scientific literature, philosophical musings, religious dogmas. I volunteered at a hospice as I got a little older.

“You’re so lucky, to be so young and alive,” The patients would say to me. “Your generation will outlive us all!”

Some hospice patients were terrified, others were at peace. But their deaths were always around in whatever form they took, concerned, and reaching out to try and comfort them.

It was always sad seeing a death touch a person that didn’t want to die. The person would be filled with fear, and the death would be filled with disappointment that they couldn’t comfort their person in their time of need. If only everyone could see their death like me!

When it was time for one of the patients, if given the opportunity, I’d run after them as they walked, hand in hand towards the unknown.

“Where are you going!” I’d yell towards them. And they’d just smile serenely and disappear.

It was a bit after these experiences, and after growing a bit older, that I decided I didn’t want to die. I’d ignore my death, I didn’t want their opinions, I didn’t want to play our old games. I wanted an answer. I wanted to know where they would take me.

“You know” I said once brattly “I won’t go with you when you try to take me”

My death looked down forlornly. They begin to hide from me soon after that. I think I hurt it’s feelings. But I was fine with it for a while. I was happy to go on and pretend like I had no death. I was angry with them, why wouldn’t they just tell me where they would take me!

But soon I began to miss my old friend. My behavior got more and more reckless. I knew my death was concerned about me and I could worry my death into coming out.

One night I was out swimming, the sky was dark, the water seemed like eternity around me. I decided to see how long I could hold my breath. I don’t know how deep I was, I stayed under as long as I could, past my lungs burning, I stubbornly stayed past the panic, and started drifting into calm. My death appeared directly in front of me, livid.

My death slapped me across the face.

My eyes shot open and drank in the sight of my death, adrenaline coursed through my body, and I desperately wanted to embrace my old friend, but I shot back up towards the surface of the water. My friends dragged me out, got me into an ambulance, afterwards my death stopped hiding, and stayed by my side as a companion.

And we were companions! I’d chat with my death, have them help pick out my outfits, and joke with them. It turns out my death actually gave great dating advice too!

My death and I walked side by side happily through time like that for a while, until I met someone else who could see deaths.

I’d never met another person I could relate to so closely, we became fast friends, but their death never seemed to be around.

“Where is your death?” I asked. “Are they hiding from you?”

My friend smiled and said yes, their death had been hiding for a while.

“You can probably get them to come out, you just have to embrace them!”

They raised an eyebrow and said they would try it. But I didn’t think they would. I don’t think they were born with the ability to see their death like I was, they must have come across it by some other means. Seeing their death suddenly must have been quite the shock I thought. No wonder their poor death hides from them.

But I didn’t know. My friend was thinking I needed to be saved from myself. I had deluded myself into thinking my death was my friend, when really my death was my enemy!

It took them some time but they took my death from me.

When I first noticed my death was gone, I wasn’t too concerned, but as the absence got longer, I grew more and more concerned. And eventually, heartbroken.

“Where is my death!” I cried to my friend. “They have abandoned me!”

Seeing my distress, my friend confessed, and tried to explain. “I took your death. It’s not your friend! I’m keeping them somewhere, far away. If our deaths can’t get to us, then we can’t die! You’re the only one like me! You can’t die”

I cried, I begged, I threatened. My friend would not release my death. I tried being reckless again, to coax my death back out. It did not work. I searched and searched and searched. I couldn’t coax it, I couldn’t find it, I couldn’t convince my friend to give it back. I felt empty without my death, who had been with me since birth, by my side. I’d glare enviously at people as they walked by, unknowingly complete with their deaths by their side.

I went on, and on, and on. I did get to do much more than the average person I’ll admit. But I kept going on, until I got sick.

I was so sick, past the point of the people I used to watch in the hospice, and I’d cry out for my death to come take me, come comfort me. But they never came. Eventually I did get better. But I never recovered fully.

I tried to kill myself a few times too. But I’d just end up puking my guts out, or laying bored in a pool of my own blood until I stitched back together.

I would meet up with my friend every now and then, we’d catch up on the last few decades, I’d ask for my death, they’d say no.

Me and my friend, we watched humanity rise and fall, wars won and lost. We witnessed a lot of deaths. Violent deaths are interesting, their death usually rushes to embrace them, as if to protect them from what befell them, and they fade quickly.

Empires grew and fell, people went to space, colonized planets. I went with them. To see something new.

It was a normal day when I felt it. I was out on a space walk. I felt something in my heart snap with sudden sensation, and I was filled with both a sense of dread and relief.

I could feel that my death had escaped.

I immediately went into my shuttle, and set a course towards earth.

Once I got to earth, I could feel their pull, bringing me exactly to where they were fighting their way back.

There wasn’t much left on earth any more, we met in the remnants of an old city, most of the buildings were piles of material on the ground.

When my death and I saw each other we rushed towards each other and embraced like old lovers. I could feel their touch on my skin but it didn’t fill me with dread. I was filled with happiness and calm. I smiled up at them and they smiled down at me.

I closed my eyes, and placed my forehead on theirs, smiled serenely, and we… disappeared.

#death tw #tw suicude #suicide #original fiction #original writing #death #short story #urban fantasy #flash fiction #a wee bit scifi

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 4 years

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Barchie 4x17 Opinion/ Analysis

Ok so the I’ve just watched 4x17 and there’s alot of feelings about Barchie and I figured well its been a while since I’ve done an analysis post so here’s my opinion/ interpretation/ analysis of it all. I’m not going to call it a review of 4x17 because I’m only going to be talking about the events surrounding Barchie in this post. Obviously there are spoilers for 4x17, though if you don’t know whats going on then you must have been under a rock because its been a while since I’ve seen a fandom explode quite like this before. And as I always say when I make an analysis, review or opinion post this is just my opinion it is fine if you disagree but please lets keep it respectful. So if you want to know what I thought about the events surrounding Barchie in this episode read on under the tag. If you dont well keep scrolling lol.

So first things first my opinion on the biggest issue people seem to have, the cheating scandal. Now do I support cheating? No of course not. However what I do support is characters who are allowed to make mistakes and, well, be human. Whether we like it or not cheating happens in real life. Just because something is morally grey or even just immoral out right, does not mean it shouldn't be represented in TV shows especially as it often acts as a moral to a story or a way of sending a message. I’ve seen it alot with various shows where fans seem to be of the opinion that ‘action a is wrong so they shouldn’t have written this plotline in because it ruins character development.’ I personally diasagree though, for the reasons I mentioned above these things can raise important issues that should be discussed or they have a moral. I think it depends on how the writers treat the subject and what they are trying to say. Until the whole thing with Barchie plays out we won't know for certain what that message or moral will be. In my opinion as it stands at the moment, I think they might go for the message of when you spend a long time pushing down or avoiding feelings instead of talking openly about them or confronting them, then eventually those feelings will bubble over and ultimately you will end up hurting more people. I know some might disagree with me but I don’t think Barchie’s feelings from season 1 were ever resolved. So lets go back to the beginning of Barchie and break their relationship down.

Right away we learn that Betty and Archie are childhood friends that live next door to each other and that Betty has this long term crush on Archie. In the pilot she finally confesses these feelings to him. Archie however isn’t in the right place at all to be accepting her feelings. Lets be honest here, when we first meet Archie he is an abuse victim. Over the summer he had been seduced by his music teacher who was clearly manipulating him. He is very confused about these feelings he has for his teacher as any child would be in that situation. I do think he was having very intense feelings for Grundy but I also think on some level he had some guilt about her too. Then there’s the guilt and uncertainty he’s feeling about not reporting the gunshot they heard. On top of that he’s struggling with the whole football or music thing he’s got going on. I think the main reason for his rejection of her wasn’t that he didn’t have feelings for Betty but that to him Betty was this pure and perfect person and that he was the opposite of that now, he didn’t feel like he was ever going to be good enough for her. Basically I just don’t think Archie was in the right mental or emotional place to be dealing with those feelings. And of course as Betty doesn’t know about Grundy or the emotional turmoil Archie is going through she takes it as a straight up rejection which really deeply hurts her. As a result Betty’s feelings become a daydream of what could have been that she sort of pushes to one side. She starts to believe or accept that she and Archie will never be more than friends and then things change between her and Jughead and they begin a relationship. But then we come to Archie who is obviously still very confused about his feelings towards Betty and I think this really comes out when Betty and Jughead get together. He clearly shows on multiple occassions that he has some feelings of jealousy, Veronica even calls him out on it when she notices him looking at Betty ‘longingly’. He does try to bring it up with Betty when he says ‘a part of me always thought...’ but Betty shuts him down. In that moment I think she was content in her relationship with Jughead and she’s afraid of rocking the boat by bringing up those feelings again especially after the way she was hurt by Archie’s rejection the first time. I think Archie can see that Betty and Jughead are happy together and as they are his best friends he decides to push his feelings for Betty aside and he too is involved in a relationship with Veronica. The important thing to note here is that Betty and Archie don’t let their feelings for each other go, they push them down, they ignore them and pretend they aren’t there any more. Through out the series we have seen moments where the writers show that these feelings are still there just below the surface, there are moments when these feelings peek out. For example the longing looks Archie sends Betty and Jughead that Veronica calls him out on that I mentioned above, the window scene when Jughead narrates about Archie looking out at the girl next door as if for the first time and old feelings shaking loose. Eventually you then get the first slip up. This is when Betty is being blackmailed by the Blackhood and while investigating they end up in the car together and in the heat of the moment those surpressed feelings flood back up and overwhelm Betty and she kisses him. I do think for a moment this takes Archie by surprise mostly because the last time he tried to talk to her about the feelings between them she shut him down so he assumed she no longer had those feelings. However it wasn’t exactly the right time at that moment to sit and have a chat about those feelings. And then they never do. Once again neither one of them want to confront it or rock the boat, they seem afraid of the feelings. And so this conversation about their feelings never really takes place. They just tell themselves it meant nothing and once again push it aside. I do think after that they both seem to have some silent agreement that they shouldn’t ever bring it up again and they both focus on their respective relationships. But because the two of them haven’t talked about it together those feelings are still unresolved and are still brewing away beneath the surface.

After some time of relative peace things are shaken up again for Barchie. With Jughead faking his death and Barchie fake dating. I do think that fake kiss brought those feelings back again. I think that for the first time despite them knowing it was fake they got a little taste of what it would actually be like for them to be dating and being together. I think they start to enjoy fake dating and so they then can’t help but wonder what it would be like to really be dating. What it would be like to be together for real. Then they reveal Jughead is still alive and they no longer need to fake date. I do think at this moment they probably are very confused about where they go from here. Once again these pesky feelings are rearing their head again and Barchie just don’t know what to do about them. So once again they do what they know, what’s familiar to them and they push them away. But this time somethings different and they can’t seem to push them down as easily as before. I think you can see this in the very flirty texts that they send each other. But despite that they still at this moment are not ready or willing to talk about it. So while they may not be able to completely push the feelings down they do choose to deny them, both to themselves and their significant others. I do think that when both Betty and Archie said to Jughead and Veronica that they were the only boy/girl for them it was as much about them trying to convince themselves of it as it was trying to reassure Jughead and Veronica of it.

Which brings us up to date with the current episode. So first lets talk about the lead up to the kiss. Now when I saw the leaked review I thought it was going to be that Betty and Archie kiss as a reaction to the arguments they have with their signifcant others. That it was going to be that good old troupe of me and my boy/girlfriend are in a bad place and I’m upset but you’re here comforting me and oh no now we’ve kissed. But in my opinion I don’t think that is what happened at all. I actually think the arguments more served the purpose of getting Archie and Betty to be alone together. But they didn’t really have anything to do with the kiss. So then what was the catalyst for the kiss if it wasn’t the rift in their relationships? Well I actually think it was the song. When the scene starts out its Betty and Archie first explaining that they have both had arguments with their boy/girlfriend. But then they start reminiscing about old times and then Archie starts talking about how his connection to music reminds him of his Father. I think this is why Betty suggests they rehearse because she can see that Archie is feeling down and missing his Dad.

So let’s talk about the song. I think the important thing to realise is the song in the sequence isn’t the full length version in fact its not even in the right order. The writers chose which parts they were going to use very carefully and I do think they hold a lot of significance. Essentially I feel like this song is suppose to tell the story of Barchie’s romantic relationship. So lets break this entire scene down verse by verse.

When the song starts out Betty is sitting down and Archie is standing some distance away from her. To start with they are not really making eye contact and at one point Archie is looking away from Betty and she has her eyes closed. I think this represents the very early days of their relationship way back in season 1 right after the rejection in the pilot. It is symbolic of the distance that existed between them. Also I think that the fact that Betty is sitting and Archie is standing is also significant. It is a representation of how they were on different levels or pages back then. I think they were both holding the other on some kind of pedestal. Betty closing her eyes and Archie looking away could also show how they were both blind to the others situations and feelings back then. Then a few lines into the song Betty makes direct eye contact with Archie and its at this moment when he smiles back at her that she slowly begins approaching him. Again I think this is suppose to show how they grew back together again after that initial rift after the rejection. It could also represent their current situation where they are growing closer together now. I also think the fact that it is Betty approaching Archie could be a throw back to when Betty initiated the kiss between them in the car in season 2 and also how she was the first one to reveal her feelings in the pilot. At the first mention of the word love Betty and Archie both start moving closer and closer to each other. At first they are really shy but as that connection between them deepens they begin to smile more and wider and the atmosphere becomes very flirty. I think them singing the lines ‘the origin of love’ at this moment as they move closer to each other is suppose to show that they were always on this path that was leading towards each other that the moment had arrived, this was the origin of their love.

The scene then switches to Veronica. Now this verse I think is particularly interesting because in the full length version of the song this verse doesn’t come at this moment but actually much later, so the writers specifically chose this verse to come next. The line ‘the last time I saw you we had just split in two’ I think actually has two connotations. The obvious being that in this moment Veronica is thinking about her argument with Archie. I actually think though that despite it being Veronica singing this verse it to is also about Barchie. Again it is taking us back to the pilot, the begining of Barchie. It’s talking about how the last time they both were standing in front of each other like this, feeling these feelings, was that night in the pilot where they were split in two when Archie rejected her. They were split in two and the core four were as well, into two couples. Veronica’s next line is ‘you had a way so familiar I could not recognise because you had blood on your face and I had blood in my eyes.’ Again I think this has two connotations one of which I won’t address until later on but keep this line in mind. The main connotation I really do think is about Barchie. They are feeling familiar feelings to what they were that day all the way back in the pilot but back then they weren’t able to recognise them for what they really were. The ‘blood on your face’ I think represents the mask Archie was having to wear at the time to keep the two big secrets he was keeping. One being his relationship with Grundy the second being the gun shot they heard that could have been a clue in Jason’s disappearance. I also think it sadly is symbolic of the way Archie was feeling about himself at the time, how he felt he was unclean. The line about ‘blood in my eyes’ I think is another hint at how Betty at the time was blind to what Archie was really feeling and what the situation actually was. She was looking at everything through a fog and so couldn’t see clearly, as a result neither one of them were able to actually recognise their feelings at that time. Veronica’s last line is about the children of the moon who were made up of both sun and earth which I again think has a lot of importance but again I actually am going to cover that part a little later on.

Next we have Jughead’s verse. Now here there is a slight shift. Whereas in Veronica’s verse she was singing about one couple, Jugheads is talking about multiple couples. Now I do think it is more about all three couples. I also think it is more about what is to come than about what has happened in the past. I don’t think it is a coincidence that Jughead is the one singing this part. He has always been the narrator of the story and I do think this is the part he is playing once again. His verse is talking about the splitting up of the couples. The line ‘I’m going to split them right down the middle, I’m going cut them right in half’ is obviously suppose to represent the breaking up of the two existing couples. But I also think from the earlier line ‘I’m going to kill them all’ that it is also talking about the splitting of the friendships too. The next line is ‘then storm clouds gathered above into great balls of fire.’ Again this is a pretty obvious one its meant to represent the coming ‘storm’ or turmoil between the core four that will be caused by the returning feelings that Barchie is experiencing. The last line Jughead sings is ‘then it ripped right through the flesh of the children of the sun and the moon and the earth.’ Again fairly obvious its reiterating the whole the couples are going to be split up. But here is where there is an even deeper meaning. I mentioned above that Veronica’s last line was about the children of the moon and how it had some significance. Well to fully explain it I need to explain the myth behind the song for those who don’t already know it. The song Origin of Love is based on a Greek myth told by Aristophanes in Plato’s Symposium. In this myth Aristophanes talks about how originally man looked very different. They had two sets of arms, two sets of legs and one head with two faces that looked opposite ways. There were also three genders. The children of the sun who were two males, the children of the Earth that were two females and then the children of the Moon who were one of each. Cutting a long story short Zeus decided to cut them in two and then scatter them and so now we roam the earth looking for our other halfs. Now the significance of this is that I think the children of the Moon represent Barchie. Veronica only mentions one gender in her verse and that is the children of the moon. As I said I do think her verse is about Barchie and their past together. Jughead on the other hand mentions all three. There are three genders and there are three couples in this situation. Jughead and Betty, Betty and Archie and Archie and Veronica. The interesting part is that in the original myth it talks about how the children of the Moon were born from the Sun and Earth. I think this is telling us that Barchie will be born from the other two pairings, one half from each to create a new pairing. However I do think the inclusion of all three genders in Jugheads last line is also informing us that no one will be spared pain in this situation. There is no easy win no matter what happens all of them are going to be hurt.

As we move back to Barchie for the final verse we are continuing with this theme of storms. As they sing about storms scattering them and tidal waves washing them away Barchie circle around the microphone and have a series of flashbacks. I think this circling actually is a throwback to how Barchie used to circle around each other and their feelings for each other. It could also, however, represent how they’ve come full circle from the pilot. While the lines about the brewing storm are suppose to represent the turmoil of the group as a whole I do also think it is about how there always seemed to be something getting in Barchie’s way all these years. Another thing that is worth noting is that despite the fact that the lyrics are quite depressing Barchie are smiling at each other which is in complete contrast to Veronica and Jughead who look absolutely miserable. However these smiles do drop and their expressions become more sombre when they sing the line ‘If we don’t behave they’ll cut us down again.’ Here I actually think they are trying to remind each other of all the reasons why they shut down their feelings so much in the past. They didn’t want to hurt Jughead and Veronica. But also they don’t want to have to go through the pain they went through after the rejection. I don’t think its a coincidence that the last flashback they have before the kiss is their last kiss in the car. It flashes back to the last opportunity they had to talk and confront their feelings but back then they chose not to out of fear of hurting Veronica and Jughead. Once again they have come full circle and are in the same position again. But at this moment despite everything else they realise they can’t avoid their feelings anymore and then they finally break and kiss. The best way I can think of to describe the Barchie relationship is this. Picture a dam. The water being held back by the dam this is Barchie’s feelings for each other and the dam itself is the barrier they’ve hidden them behind. In the pilot episode Betty comes along and she smashes a huge hole right in the middle of it, letting all of her feelings spill out. But as I said before Archie isn’t ready for this so he patches the hole back up again. But he doesn’t do that great a job of it and as time goes on lots of little holes, leaks appear. Despite both Betty and Archie continuously patching these holes back up the dam is growing weaker and weaker with each new one. Until eventually its not strong enough any more and it collapses. The moment right before the kiss is that moment where it collapses. All of sudden this flood of emotions rushes towards them and just sweeps them away. They are drowning in their emotions and all they can do at that moment is cling to each other. You can see the passion in their kiss that shows how long they’ve held themselves back from it. But there is also to me a sort of desperation to the way they hold each other.

So now we need to talk about the aftermath of the kiss. I have to say the next series of scenes actually made me feel so so sorry for Betty and Archie. They really have found themselves in a horrible situation. But also for Jughead and Veronica for what is coming their way. The very next scene it cuts to shows Betty sitting in her room and she is staring at two photos on her wall. One of her and Jughead and one of her and Archie. You can see her eyes flicking back and forth between them and its very obvious that she is feeling confused and is trying to sort through how she is feeling. You can see her eyes welling up with tears and her lip quivering. Betty knows that she needs to make a choice and that no matter what choice she makes someone she loves and cares about is going to get hurt. Then Jughead shows up and to make it worse he is incredibly apologetic and is being so sweet to her. When Betty says ‘I don’t know what to say’ I don’t actually think she is talking about the essay, I think what she really means is she doesn’t know how to tell him what has happened or what she is feeling because she can’t figure out exactly what she is feeling. She is in emotional turmoil at this moment. You can see when he kisses her that she is not as comfortable with it, she seems tenser and she pulls away faster. I think this is because of the guilt she feels. Jughead picks up on it and asks if she is ok but Betty, though I’m sure she wants to be honest with him, can’t bring herself to tell him so she just says she is fine. After he leaves she just breaks down crying.

Next we switch to Archie and it is pretty much the exact same scene. He is flicking between a picture of Veronica and pictures of him and Betty. Just like Betty he is trying to work through his feelings and he too knows that he’s got a choice to make and that someone is going to get hurt. Then Veronica comes in and again like Jughead she is very apologetic. When Veronica says that shes sorry Archie replies ‘you’re sorry?” He sounds confused because he feels like he’s the one thats in the wrong, I think at that moment he forgot about their argument earlier and was thinking he’s the one who has got something to be sorry about. The interesting thing is I do actually think Archie was about to tell Veronica what happened. After she says that Archie didn’t have to come clean to her but he did and thanks him for it. Obviously she is talking about her Dad but this immediately reminds him about how he is now keeping something else from her. He shakes his head and starts to say something but she interrupts him talking about Kevin’s idea to hold the Variety Show at La Bonne Nuit. I really do think Archie was going to confess at that moment and thats why he then hits the punch bag in frustration once she’s gone.

In both these scenes we see Jughead and Veronica blissfully ignorant of what is actually going on while Betty and Archie are trying to put on this show of everything being ok. This is where line from Origin of Love comes back into play this time both Betty and Archie have blood on their faces / masks and Jughead and Veronica have blood in their eyes/ blindness. I also think this is showing another purpose for the arguments. Any tension Jughead and Veronica may pick up on they will just chalk up to being remnants of their arguments. Betty is upset well thats because shes still annoyed about the argument. Archie is acting weird well thats just because hes still upset about our argument. The arguments have now created this situation where its going to take longer for Jughead or Veronica to figure out that something has changed. This may lend some time for Barchie to try and figure things out but ultimately they can’t keep this a secret forever.

One thing I do want to touch on real quick here though is that I don’t think the issue is as simple as does Betty love Jughead or does she love Archie. Or does Archie love Veronica or does he love Betty. As far as I’m concerned this isn’t a case of one or the other. This idea that you can only have feelings for one person at a time, or love one person at time or even be in love with only one person at a time, is false. We can and alot of time do have feelings for more than one person. If we are really lucky we might go our whole lives without ever being in that position but Betty and Archie unfortunately weren’t that lucky. The point is just because Betty and Archie are developing feelings for each other now doesn’t mean that they don’t still love Jughead and Veronica. They do and that is what makes this so heartbreaking. We can’t control when or how we get feelings for people all we can control is how we respond to them. Anyway back to the analysis.

The next scene is the window scene where Betty and Archie sing the reprise of Wicked Little Town. I think this song was perfect for Barchie at this moment and alot of the lyrics hold significance. It is another one that has been edited for the episode. Obviously some of this is because they had to fit all the songs into the episode but it does mean that lines and verses were chosen specifically which I personally think gives them more meaning. The scene starts out right after Archie hits the punch bag and then spots Betty at her window. The very first line is ‘Forgive me for I did not know, because I was just a boy and you were so much more.’ If any line could perfectly sum up the Barchie relationship in season 1 it is this one. Here Archie is apologising for not recognising his feelings back in season 1. He is fully aware that if he had been able to and had said yes to her they probably wouldn’t be in this situation now. The line about just being a boy and her being so much more I think really does back up my previous point about how Archie was feeling back then, how being young he wasn’t able to recognise his own feelings and that he thought of her as something more than him, something that he didn’t deserve.

Betty’s first line is ‘’When everything starts breaking down, you take the pieces off the ground and show this wicked town something beautiful and new.’ So unpacking this I again think that when they sing about everything breaking down they are talking about the two couples and all of the friendships. I believe its very significant that when Betty sings about picking up the pieces and showing something new and beautiful Archie reaches out and takes her hand starting the dream sequence. I do think the writers are trying to tell us that Barchie is going to be that new and beautiful thing. I think this is telling us that after it all gets torn apart it’ll be Betty and Archie who pick up the pieces together. She then goes on to sing the line ‘there’s no mystical design, no cosmic lovers preassigned.’ This line actually made me think of that scene in the season 1 finale when Archie tries to talk to Betty about how a ‘little part of him always thought’ but Betty replies with ‘we’re both so lucky don’t you think? To have found the people we were meant to be with.’ When she says this line she puts emphasis on the word ‘meant’. For a long time now Betty and Archie have belived that Jughead and Veronica were the ones they were meant to be with, their preassigned lovers. However I do think at this moment they are starting to realise that this might not necessarily be true. That they can choose who they want to be with. As Archie sings ‘there is nothing that you can find that cannot be found.’ I think what they mean is the love they’ve found with Veronica and Jughead they can also find with each other.

Next Betty sings ‘After all the changes we’ve been through it seems the strangers always you, alone in this wicked little town.’ Here I think they are talking about how despite how they’ve grown one thing they still keep getting wrong is unerstanding the others feelings. If you think back on how many mis-interpretations and misunderstandings they’ve had the line makes sense. As a result they are always left apart from each other as oppose to communicating with each other and coming to know the others thoughts and emotions and then getting together or resolving the feelings.

At this point there is a slight shift in the song. Before this it was quite sad and melancholic but here it picks up a bit and the mood changes it seems more positive and they are smiling at each other the dance also gets more movement and energy to it as they sing the lines ‘when you’ve got no other choice, you know you can just follow my voice, through the dark turns and noise of this wicked little town.’ This could be alluding to how Barchie have supported each other over the years but I actually viewed it a different way. To me it seemed more like they were making a promise to each other. No matter what happens next they will always have each other, they will always guide each other and walk through those dark turns together.

Once again though the mood turns sombre as they pull in close to each other again. This part was actually my favourite moment just because of how emotional it was. The way she strokes his hair and how they press their foreheads together it was so beautiful yet sorrowful. Here Archie sings about how ‘it’s a wicked little town.’ It’s talking about the situation they have found themselves in and they are both reflecting on this wicked situation and all the consequences. I mean think about how they must be feeling right now. On one hand they have all these feelings for each other and it feels good when they are together, they enjoy being together. But the wicked part is that if they want to continue feeling that feeling they get with each other then they have to hurt two of the closet people in their lives. Archie will hurt his girlfriend and his best friend and Betty will hurt her boyfriend and her best friend. But if they do nothing about the feelings then they are back at square one and how long will it be before those feelings come out again. Now they’ve got no choice really but to confront those feelings. The last line is sang by Betty. ‘Goodbye wicked little town.’ This part they are saying goodbye to the way things used to be because no matter what now everything is about to change.

The next and last time we see Barchie is during The Archies performance at La Bonne Nuit. During the entire performance you can see them both stealing glances at each other. But there are a couple of other moments that I think are worth pointing out. Firstly when Veronica sings the word love she looks over at Archie as you would expect, thats her partner it makes sense for that word to make her look to him. However Archie doesn’t look back at her. On top of that both Betty and Archie are in the foreground of the shot which makes it look like Veronica is almost pointing them out to the audience. Later on when Jughead is singing he is staring very intently at Betty, again makes sense thats his girlfriend. And while Betty does look round to him it is very brief and she looks away very quickly and then share’s a look with Archie. The last thing that’s worth noting is that when Betty is singing with Veronica and standing next to her she once again makes eye contact with Archie. Directly after this eye contact is when she leaves Veronica and goes back to her spot where she continues to look at Archie with a very sad, guilty and yes longing expression. I think all of these little instances throughout the performance are showing us that Barchie are feeling very guilty about what happened and that they are now feeling a bit of distance from their partners and their friends. It’s awkward for them. Again we can also see that huge contrast between Betty and Archie who often have quite troubled expressions and Jughead and Veronica who seem happy and are completely ignorant to the storm heading their way.

So where do I think they might go from here? Well I do think its really really important that this time Betty and Archie actually talk. And not as in with Jughead or Veronica or Kevin or anybody else but with each other. They haven’t done this yet and I really don’t think they can ever move forward or resolve anything until they do. One thing we do know from the promo for next episode is that at some point Barchie end up alone in the bunker together. I am hopeful that this means that they will talk. I do think that they will be sneaking around behind Jughead and Veronica’s backs for a little while as they try to figure out what they are feeling. But I also think that they will eventually tell them the truth, I’m not certain if they’ll actually get the chance to tell them themselves as I wouldn’t put it past the show to have Cheryl catch them again and have it revealed that way for dramatic effect. But I do think Barchie will likely make up there minds that they want to be together and decide the right thing to do is tell Jughead and Veronica but someone else (probably Cheryl) beats them to it causing drama. The alternative to this is that they break up with Jughead and Veronica fairly quickly but don’t mention how they have feelings for each other and so they still have to sneak around and then its revealed (probably by Cheryl) that they have gotten together and this then causes drama as Jughead and Veronica realise the real reason for their breakups. Given a choice I would rather the second as although they wouldn’t be entirely truthful at least they wouldn’t be continuing to cheat on Jughead and Veronica but seeing as cheating storylines are often used to bring drama to tv shows I’m think its more likely to be the first one but I can hold out hope. Whatever line the decide to take I actually think the reveal about Barchie might happen in the finale especially if they are going for the whole time jump thing for season 5.

Ok nearly finished. But I do want to talk about character development now. I’ve seen alot and I mean alot of posts where people are upset with the cheating storyline because they think it ruins Betty and Archie’s character development. And that got me thinking about how I feel about that. Respectfully I have to disagree. To me character development isn’t a linear thing. It can move forward, but it can also go in different directions, hell it can go backwards. But its still development. Its something that should always be changing and growing but that doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be set backs or pitfalls. In fact in my opinion good character development should have those things. Like in real life characters can make mistakes but they are learning from these mistakes and thats whats important, that is what character development is. For example you can take a character who starts out as a somewhat bad person who is always making the same mistakes and doing bad things. As their character develops they start to learn from these mistakes and grow and become a better person. If this character then slips up and ends up going back to their old ways that doesn’t mean they have bad character development. Sometimes people return to old habits its just reality.Their development just changed direction. Character development is often effected by the events surrounding the characters. An event can take place that has such an impact on a person that it can change who they are as a person, maybe it makes them a more bitter person or makes them a nicer person, maybe it changes their point of view on something or how they deal with similar situations in the future. My point is whatever the change is, whether its for the better or worse, it is still development. In regards to Betty and Archie I don’t see it as the writers ruining their development I see it as them taking it in a different direction. The recent events such as for a while believing Betty had actually hurt Jughead, to having to fake Jughead’s death, to the fake dating. All this had a profound impact on them. During these times they really had to lean on each other and work together. They had to trust each other more than ever because if they got it wrong it was potentially Jughead’s life they would pay with. It was through this support and trust in each other that their feelings came back. This lead to them making the mistake of kissing each other while they were still in relationships with other people. This is the event that has changed the course of their development and they both have something to learn from it that is going to effect their development. So no I don’t think its ruined its just different.

I know alot of people seem to think that Betty and Archie are now awful people and that they should have known better. But this is another thing I just don’t agree with. I think they are just kids and well kids don’t know better, because kids are still learning, they are still growing, they’re still making mistakes thats how you come to know better. I guess what I’m trying to say is you can’t know better until you’ve had the experience first. If after this they decide to cheat on someone again then absolutely they should know better. But I see no point in villainizing two teenagers because they’ve given into their hormones and made a mistake. Let them learn from this before we condemn them.

So in conclusion I don't think the writers are trying to portray cheating as being a good thing to do but more as something that can happen. In the case of Betty and Archie I don't think them kissing makes them bad people and I don't think that's what the show is trying to say either but that they are two teenagers who got caught up in their feelings and made a mistake. Also just because they have made the mistake of kissing each other while in a relationship with other people doesn’t mean that their relationship shouldn’t be explored it should and I really hope they do. I’m actually quite interested to see where they take it from here. So if you have read all the way to the end of this thank you, I know it was getting rather long. What did you guys think of the Barchie development? And where do you think they are going to go from here?

#riverdale #riverdale spoilers #barchie

25 notes · View notes

okiedokie-then · 3 years

Text

heh

in my bathroom there were 60 waffles with a magazine light

numbers aint the one to lead the land

(insert guitar solo)

a check on my clock

the day life with the colors (insert screams)

vocalists can get the 100%

family, congratulations to amber.

nobody told me this...

no, nono, no, red carpet all the water

ride with me, ride with me

bee no bee he does

(insert skate park noises) ow, my knee

(insert bowling ball noises) ow, my knee, again

(insert suspicous noises) ow, my knees

(insert death noises) ow, my knee

set above your soul

its a long way down, personification of cheese

its a long way down.

somebody shoot her, she has my tongue

i want a cat, i want a cat, i want a cat, skatepark man

might all look wild

but they want you here, get out, leave

social media, you dont do that alot though

people who choose to do that

uncomfortable

cout << "do you even work out bro" << endl;

i like the pine tree, in the corner,

always watching,

being very prickly

sometimes youll see a baby in the pine tree

i like the pine tree

slip right out of the door

wheels cut up the rub,

(insert guitar solo)

skate park man goes side to side

the biology doesnt make sense

dirt on the woo's

he doesnt understand the concept

why, you arent evil

university, and military

the large paper tree

oh no, now theres two of them

its undergoing mitosis

(insert screams) you know that, right?

you never did like them

but you were the self, all the way of self

it has my name on it for the two years

the speakers blasting

you were rejected and sent back home

how does it feel?

falling from heaven? must hurt right?

the chair on the table

put them down

she doesnt like them up there

(insert laugh track) the thermostat is at 69, ha

notice, he doesnt it like it ok it

sometimes, he yells

you dont like it when he yells

no excuses for being late, your dead

through thick and thin, ill be as tasty as possible

your priorities dont line up

how could you do that?

he only wanted to eat your snacks, could you reall not give up your crackers?

not again, the stickmen are fighting

7/16 of my father is apple juice, pretty neat, right?

the fire exit hates you.

really? it builds things? cool

46 chickens crossed the road with cacti all over, that was a weird hour to be alive

do you like being treated that way?

the blue cables run all over, its pretty neat really

they hated the basketball picture, i now hate them

oh the white cables are neat to

ha, agriculture, what a joke

why does he want your snacks, you ask

he might just be hungry, you also say

i just want to go back

its to hot in my room

you tried to fly, but your wings made of anti-matter instantly reacted with the surrounding air, and then you fell.

was it a long fall?

couldnt have been, you were eating burritos to be completely honest.

he's rude

the cheezits said no to him, so they were cast into a pit, they're a bit crunchy now, nice really.

the core isnt really good though, hate that thing.

the scans made it by you

"how can they not see?" you said

he got really confused after that

.9531

it kept screaching (insert screeching of a machine), and kept screeching (insert screeching of a machine), and kept screeching (insert screeching of a machine), then it died.

doesnt even connect

section B-B got shut down due to budget cuts

B-B was the rubber ducky section

sad, really, the world may never see happiness again.

"boob beep, am not evil. beep boop." said #27

jesus that ac is loud, how can people stand it?

80-85c is the recommended temperature

ignorance, motivation, the power of friendship, all ingredients to the most well made octopus, preferably with sour cream and Valentino hot sauce.

god do i love mexican food

and no, i am not #27

you seriously dont understand the sheer amount of burritos i have eaten in this past week, i no longer have any money, i did not share with my family, even if i did, they would not eaten them, they are sick of them, i have forced them to eat thousands, preferably with butter on the side, thats all i'd like for today m'am

surface temperature, man, now thats a woozie if iv e ever thought of one

violence is not an answer

violence is a question

and the answer to that question is yes.

god the flowers smell fucking amazing this fine universal collapse

did i mention i like mexican food?

my foot keeps hitting the metal

heard something burning last night, kept smelling the noise it was making aswell, turned out it was my cat eating

who knew

"think different" -a fruit

man i can not draw football players can i?

- skin

- teeth

- hair

- eyes

want human bones? contribute to society and work for them like everyone else, get out of the house, your 33 already josh.

hip hop, or hip hop editor?

ZRX9SR

covered by a thin layer of skin

for some reason i really want potato chips rn

he dropped IT

dont sign in or he'll hurt you

G U M M Y B E A R S

immediately now

c r u n c h

2004

:fire_emoji: Warm-Ups :fire_emoji:

I LET HIM BORROW MY SNACKS AND NOW THEIR RUINED WTFFFF

god my new mouse is gonna feel so good

how do i wash my hands

i did not make that noise

c h e e s e

microbes help preserve lassen college FFA field day

cucumbers will never become pickles

IMPEACH im in the peach

a duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man, runnin the stand, "hey, bum bum bum, gimme the cash"

"okay"he says,

i would kill for a burrito rn ngl

salt bone man?

"meeting the chargers future could prove fatal to all squirrels" says the man in the suit

break your limits, push your boundries, work harder than you ever have before! i know you can do it! you can eat that wheel of cheese in only 30 seconds! i know you can!

bread, artichoke, and beans. thats all you'll ever be.

im currently reading a book about cats

i like cats

#okay

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mha-fanfic-writer · 4 years

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Apology that changed the world

L.O.V & bakugou,todoroki, and midoriya x reader

Here you were, surrounded by the League, You were all mights niece so it was pretty obvious why you were in this situation. Class 3-A and the pros were surrounding everywhere. They had to help you but the league got to you first. Being in your 3rd year and dealing with them since the first year was painful, not because of the fights but because every time you made eye contact with any of them you felt your heart break. They had been through so much and nobody bothered to listen. “Give it up, you're not getting out of here alive” dabi spoke up. “This is getting boring, why do we need to kill them” toga wined. “Shut up you brat” shigaraki spoke. He was standing in front of you with the others circling you. You didn't say anything. “Kid, don't worry we're going to get you out” you heard hawks from above. They could kill you an instant so the heroes could move in right now. “Tenko” your voice was quiet and shaky. He didn't respond. “What brat” he finally said. “Im sorry” you said looking down and clinching your fists. You were shaking but not because you were sacred. “Huh” you heard. “What are you doing” bakugou spoke up thorough the ear piece. Everybody who was sent here had one. The to 10 could here you, class 3-A could hear you, Some other heroes could hear you. But you only cared that the league heard you. You took a step forward earring your class to tell you to stop. “I understand, you’ve suffered great injustice so have thousands before you.” you looked up with tears in your eyes. Dabi and toga stood beside him now both ready to attack if needed. You fell to your knees with your head down. “I offer and apology, and one long over due” you felt a tear roll down your cheek. This was being broadcasted live on TV and you were pretty sure they could hear you too. “I am sorry” you looked up with pure guilt in your eyes. Another tear fell. You but your hand over your shoulder. You had had a deep wound that you were for sure going to die from but that was the least of your worries at the moment. Shigaraki reached out to kill you and you seemed so accepting to it. You moved your head up further to where his hand was. “I know were supposed to fight, I reach for kindness in your heart” you were trying ot hold your tears in as you spoke but they kept falling. He moved his hand away and took of the one from his face and looked at you intently. “If you can forgive” as you were saying those words he reached out to your neck. The pros were going to move in but you told them to stop. “Peace can truly live” by now he had four fingers around your neck griping it tightly. He was shaking that much you could tell. He gritted his teeth before removing his hand and putting it to his side. You put your hand on your neck from how the pressure he put on it at the last moment. “I am scared, but ill use my final breath, to tell you that im sorry” you got back up and extended your hand. He looked at it then at you. “Can we end this dance of death” you asked. He could see the sincerity in your eyes when you spoke and so could the others wich is why they didn't move from there spot. “For the centuries of aggany, I offer you my amended this senseless killing ends” you stepped closer and griped his shirt. He didn't move but just looked forward. He flt something, was he felling sad? He looked down at you and you griped his shirt tighter. You moved closer to the point were it was a hug. “Im telling the truth, I know were supposed to giht I know you have kindness in your heart.” you felt his slowly move his arms up and wrap the around you. Tears fell down his face but he didn't look aways from the top of your head. You both fell to the ground, your small form sitting in between his legs as you embraced each other. Nobody was talking, Not the heroes nor your class. “Please forgive me” you muttered. He closed his eyes and in that moment you both felt at a peace. You were still crying but you could see the other members felt something to. You pulled away from him and looked around you at dabi, toga, kurogiri, spinner, everybody around you felt something. They all slowly made there way towards you and they got on there knees. Toga hugged you not even knowing why she did. Dabi put a hand on your head and felt blood on his face. He was crying and didn't even care. Spinner put a hand on your shoulder and the others just closed there eyes. Little by little they ll moved in and the next thing you know, you were boing cradled by people who were trying to kill you 10 minutes ago. You smiled at all of them. “ if i'm going to die, its gonna be with PEOPLE, who actually give a shit” you said earring a small laughed here and there. You could hear some of your class crying. “Please, anybody who can hear me. Stop all of this, we don't need this. This wasn't supposed to happen, not to them. They’ve been through so much and we never bothered to listen or care. Im begging you, all of you, forgive one another. Make a mens and give them a second chance. They didn't deserve this, none of them. Please, let them be human, we never once thought of them like that so im asking you now please do. Let them live there lives noramly, or as normal as it can be.” you were taking breaks between sentences. You were definitely going to die right now. You only had a few for minutes and you know it. “Please, can everybody come here” you asked. You heard people gather behind the league. “Dabi,” you spoke. He looked at you. Go to hawks” you said and gave him a small smile. He got up and walked towards the winged hero. They looked at each other for a bit both with smiles on there faces. They shook hands and pulled each other into a hug. You know these two had a relationship, you were nt sure what kind but you know there pasts. “Tenko” you said. “Go to midoriya” you asked. It took a while but he did. Midoriya extended his hand with rears in his eye. They shook hands and stood by each other. After sending the others off you called bakugou, midoriya and todoroki to you. The three stood in front of you. Bakugou desperately trying to hide his tears but miserably failing. Todorki was trying to do the same and midoriya just let his emotion through. “Bakugou, your going to be a gray hero, I know you don't need to hear it but I know you just are.” you gave him a small smiled. He got on his knees. “I doo need it” he admitted as tears fell down his face. He took off his goblets and wrapped his arms around you. “Todoroki, Be who you want to be, don't let anybody control you.” you said with the small determination left in you. He got down on his knees nest to you. You grazed your thumb over his scar and smiled before looking at midroya. “Midoriya, dint you ever give up. When I see you from wherever I go, I don't want to see you fall ans say there, I want ot see you fall and get right back up. Put that fuking quirk to use” you smiled. He keeled down and nodded. Your relationship with them was strong. You got to know each one, and became extremely close to them. You liked each of them more than a friend, sucks you would never get to tell them. The boys held you in there arms all of them crying. “Bakugou being who he was decided it was now or never. He leaned in and kissed your lips gently. You gave in before you felt a gentle pull to one side. Todorki did the same fallowed by midoriya. “We were planning on tell you later but we think know a good time” todoroki spoke. You smiled at them. “I love you guys” you smiled one last time before everything went dark. At least everything was ok now.

The boys yelled at the top of there lung when they knew you were gone. They didn't want you to br but you were. Pros who barley knew you were crying, your class was too. The league, everybody. You were right, the whole thing had been live on TV for the world to hear. They all saw and heard what one apology could do to the world. How one 18 year old could do so much in so little time.

The aftermath was just what you wanted. The ‘villains’ were no longer considered villains, they were regular civilians know, and everybody was so expecting to them. Dabi lived with his family again but was usually with hawks. As you figured the two had something going on. There were less villain attacks and more of them turning themselves in some getting off with a year or two in prisons and then released and other a little more but in the end they all got to live a normal life. Years later the three were all in the top 10, hawks took number 1 after endeavor had to retire due to him breaking ihs back and as it turns out he also had lung cancer. Wonder why. As of right now kirishima and bakugou are officially engaged. And todoroki and midoriya married. It had taken the ma while to move on but after you visited them in there dreams you told them to find someone, that they weren't allowed to die until they found someone and sure enough they did. You watched from the clouds as they all lived on happily. You had ended up being a fricken legend to the kids. Eri and kota were both 10 and 11 and they seemed to have a thing for each other, so that was a possibility when they got older. All for one passed shortly after the whole thing and shigaraki was living pretty good down there. Toga was happy, she didn't really see her family alot but she was good friends with uraraka and tsu now. “What do you think” toshinori asked as you both looked down at everybody. “Its what i’ve always wanted” you smiled softly.

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gayidiot12 · 4 years

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Lets Talk About Neon Genesis Evangelion... And Why I Love It (With Pictures!!!)

Not a lot of people are going to read this and that’s okay. I have a problem, when it comes to getting attached to shows. The problem is I get REALLY attached. Like, I get emotionally invested in characters, locations, events, lore, everything. I’ve found that writing about a show, and how it makes me feel, helps me ease off this attachment.

Spoilers for the show below, even though its been out for longer than I’ve been alive.

So, I just watched the Netflix dub of NGE. This after seeing both the original Japanese dub, and the original English dub, and loving both of them. Generally, I liked the Netflix dub. I think the voice acting and dialogue has significantly improved in most areas. I’m not entirely sold on Shinji’s new voice actor, although they did such a wonderful job. I just think once you’re used to Spike Spencer as Shinji, its hard to hear it any other way. I have a few gripes though:

1. The pronunciation of NERV... I know... I know... it was changed to be closer to the German pronunciation meaning “soul” but “Nayerve” is as ugly as “moist”. It will always be “Nerve” in my heart.

The removal of swearing. In Japanese there is no swearing, so in the spirit of bringing the dub closer to the original, they removed it. However this is jarring in some spaces. “I’m the lowest of the low.” and such.

The removal of the gay subtext in episode 24... we’ll get to this...

So Moving on: EVA may not have been the best show to watch while locked up because of the ongoing pandemic. Like I said, I get ATTACHED, and this show, perhaps better than any other takes all the characters and locations you’ve grown to love... and it fucking destroys them. No mercy, at all. You like this character? That’s cool BOOM they’re gonna get emotionally destroyed just as things start going right in their life.

Nowhere is that better exemplified than in Shinji. Now this is a character I really relate to. Much in the same way as him, my relationship with my father was tumultuous at best, and down right abusive at worst. I joined the army to get away from it. I guess you can say the army was my NERV, but instead of a giant purple robot (although its not actually a robot, that’s not important), I got a gun and got to sit in the desert for a few years.

Shinji sells me so hard on this series. Its easy to say hes a wimp, or a weakling, or a baby, and that’s all well and good. However if you want a ra ra action series, go watch Gundam or something. Shinji is a person, a flawed person. But a well written, understandably flawed person. He’s spent his life abandoned, and struggles to make connections with the people around him.

I’m going to Largely skip over talking about Rei, Auska, and Misato, because they too have all been analysed at length by people far more qualified than me. Needless to say, I love them all for different reasons. Particularly Misato, the troubled parental guardian. Shes an incredible leader and especially for the 1990′s, she’s a fantastic female character.

What I will go into though, is EVA’s numerous side characters who I love dearly. Particularly one (1) boy:

I would die for this boy, and in Evangelion fashion, I would’ve had to.

Everyone, from the 3 officers that work under Misato in operations, to Shinjis Classmates Kensuke and Toji (Toji seen above), to deputy commander Fuyutsuki, Dr. Akagi, are all fleshed out, interesting characters who I love in their own right.

Toji in particular, “the jock with a heart of gold” is introduced at first, as a sort of antagonist. The first thing we seem him do is punch Shinji in the face. However, this wasn’t just in the name of being a dick, it was because (unknowingly) Shinji had injured his sister while battling the angels.

Skipping over some (excellent) character development, they become best friends and low-key, I shipped it. From there, he goes on to become an EVA pilot just like Shinji, but after his start up test, his EVA loses control. Infected with an angel, it goes on a rampage. Against his will, Shinji is forced to put down the EVA, severely injuring Toji. In the original draft, Toji was going to be killed in this incident, and instead got off “easy”... only losing a leg. I’m skipping over alot of detail here, but chances are if you’ve seen the show, you know whats up. If not, go watch the goddamn show.

At this point the show doesn’t pull punches. In fact, episodes 16 onward are known for being gut punch after gut punch, breaking our characters down, and only partially rebuilding them. Some never recover at all.

All of this continues until episode 24. This episode left me a mess... and that’s all before Kaworu even shows his face.

For context: all of Shinji’s friends are gone, evacuated. The thriving, vibrant metropolis of Tokyo-3 has gone from this:

To this:

Annihilated. All of it. The world we built up, gone. And there alone Shinji sits, at the empty pit that used to be a city... and he runs into Kaworu. In the white haired boy he makes a friend, his only one in the weeks after the city was obliterated. In the original English dub (here comes the controversy) Kaworu is the first person to tell Shinji that he is loved, and worthy of being loved.

This is huge! its a small glimmer of hope for someone who has just been crushed over, and over again. Now in the Netflix dub, this line is translated as “you are worthy of my grace”. Did it bother me? yeah. Was I able to look past it? also yeah. In the end it did the same for me.

However none of it is meant to last... Kaworu was an angel all along, and finally in what is technically the last episode of the series, after shinji has lost his friends, his home, any chance of a positive interaction with his father... he is forced to kill the one person who loves him.

FUCK

So episodes 25 and 26. I recommend everyone sit through them at least once. They help break down whats going inside shinji’s head during some key scenes in the movie: End of Evangelion.

End of Evangelion takes that destruction of everything Im attached to I keep mentioning, and dials it up to 11. We watch Nerv personnel get mercilessly gunned down, burned alive, or turned into fanta against their will. We watch Auska get horrifically ripped apart at the hands of the Mass Produced Evangelions... and we watch the horrifying destruction of humanity in perhaps my favorite concept for the end of the world... ever.

And after all of that... all of it... what happens at the end is mostly up for interpretation. Leaving me, tired, isolated, and bored, to spend my days thinking endlessly about this masterpiece of a show, its characters, and its world.

Listen, if you made it this far into my rant, thank you and I’m sorry. I definitely needed to get this all out of my system.

God’s in his heaven, all is right with the world

#evangelion #neon genesis evangelion #anime #nge #shinji ikari #rant

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littleshebear · 4 years

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Destiny Fanfiction: Truth

Some self-indulgent Dawning-related fluff I wrote last year but never posted for whatever reason. Here’s a dark age, kinderguardian Zavala learning about the power of myth and stories, then teaching those lessons back to a Guardian Sasha.

Crunch!

“What are you doing?”

Crunch!

Zavala trails behind Sasha, watching her bunny-hop through the snow outside the gathering hall. He had recommended they leave when Sasha had reached for her knife after the tenth or so suggestion that they get a room.

“It’s really satisfying,” she replies, jumping onto another patch of virgin snow. Crunch! “You should try it.”

“Is it calming you down?” He cocks his head, smiling at the incongruity of a woman who can snipe three Fallen Vandals in as many seconds, playing in the snow like a child.

She turns to face him, grinning brilliantly. “I wasn’t actually going to stab anyone, you know.” There’s a series of gratifying crunches as she hops towards him. “You worry too much.”

“I’m never sure when you’re joking.” He hazards reaching out and brushing the back of his fingers against her chill-flushed cheek. She doesn’t flinch or pull away, a fact he finds infinitely more pleasing than the sound of freshly-trodden snow. “It’s cold, you should get inside.”

“No,” she protests, taking his hand in hers. “I’m not tired yet. Come on.” She leads him back towards the festivities but eschews the main hall. The normally sterile winter air is alive with the scent of woodsmoke and roasting meat. They weave through the crowds until they reach one of a few braziers dotted around a larger bonfire. There’s a group of people gathered around the open air fires listening to Matushka hold court. Sasha warms her hands over the flames and smiles up at him. “There. I won’t freeze to death, happy now?”

“I just worry.”

“We already established that,” she says with a chuckle. “It’s endearing." He looks sceptical so she adds, "Really.”

He nods towards the old woman. She speaks with a clear, ringing voice, in a language he doesn't understand. “What is she saying?”

“She’s telling stories.” Sasha smiles softly, unmistakable pride creeping into her expression. “Matushka knows them all. We lost so much during the Collapse but alot of our legends made it. The Fallen could burn as many archives as they liked but you can’t burn down an oral tradition. So long as there are storytellers, the stories will survive.”

“Which story is this?”

Sasha takes a moment to translate. “How Lake Baikal came to be. Well, one version of it, there are a few.”

“I thought it was seismic activity?”

“No!" She gives him a playful smack on the arm, before hedging. "Well yes. But no. It's an old, old legend. I’m no Matushka but I’ll do my best. So, Old Man Baikal had three hundred and thirty six sons and one-”

“Busy man, this Baikal.”

“Shh!” She gives him another light tap on the arm. “He had three hundred and thirty six sons and one daughter, Angara. She was said to be the most beautiful woman in the world, so Baikal became jealous and cruel. He locked her away and refused to let her see anyone. She spent her days in loneliness and misery, the birds where her only contact with the outside world.” She paused to listen to Matushka speak for a while, before continuing. “One day, the birds brought her news of a young man named Yenisei who had heard of her plight. The birds carried messages between them and they fell in love.”

“Birds can’t talk.”

“It’s a myth, Luchik, work with me here. Suspend your disbelief.” She sighs to compose herself. “So. Yenisei came to rescue Angara and they managed to escape Westward. When Baikal realised Angara had fled he became enraged. He picked up a massive boulder and threw it at the young lovers to try and stop them.” The lake is shrouded in darkness but she knows exactly in which direction to point. “The Shaman Stone, that’s the rock he threw. It sits at the source of the River…" She expands her palm outwards in a revelatory gesture, "Angara! When Baikal realised he’d lost his daughter he wept and wept until his tears formed the lake.”

Sasha falls silent again and rests her head on his shoulder as she listens to the end of the story. “That’s how Lake Baikal and the Shaman Stone came to be. And that’s why three hundred and thirty six rivers flow into Lake Baikal and only one, the Angara, flows out and merges with the river Yenisei.”

There’s an outbreak of murmurs and discussion from the gathered crowd as Matushka finishes the story. Zavala says nothing for a time, he just gazes into the flames in front of them. “I don’t understand,” he says, eventually.

“What’s not to understand?” Sasha asks.

“Why do you still tell these stories? You know they’re not real. You know that these rivers and lakes happened because of tectonic plates, glaciers and what have you, not a possessive old man’s tears.”

“Just because they’re not real, that doesn’t mean they’re not true.” She need not to look at him to know that his brows are almost certainly knitting into a confused frown. “We don’t tell these stories because we literally believe them. They tell us things about ourselves. There are truths in myth.”

“Very well, I’ll bite,” he says, putting his arm around her shoulders. “What’s the truth about an angry old lake spirit throwing rocks at his daughter and her lover?”

Sasha relaxes against him, drawing on his warmth as well as that of the fire. “Well, I think it tells you about what love really is.” Zavala holds his breath, hoping that she can’t feel how much he’s tensed up all of a sudden. “Yenisei loved Angara. He wanted her to be free but Baikal...” Sasha pauses, leaning into the embrace. “Baikal said he loved Angara, he claimed she was the most precious thing in the world to him but. Well, that’s just it. She was a thing to him. He kept her locked up like a jewel in a box. That’s not love. That’s possession. In trying to hold on to her, he lost her. Attachment like that, it’s…” She takes a deep, shuddering breath. “It’s not healthy. If you love someone, if you really love them, you have to be willing to let them go.”

Zavala closes his eyes and encircles her with his arms, as if to relieve her of the weight of the words she's just spoken. “You don’t need to do that, Sashenka. I meant what I said.”

She returns the hug, the way her fingers sink into the fur of his jerkin belying her words. “If you need to leave for the Traveler after the thaw, I won’t stop you.”

“I’m not leaving.” He plants a kiss on top of her head that seems to serve as a full stop.

They stand in silence for a while, watching the fire and listening to voices that float over from the main gathering. Sasha eventually interrupts the quiet with a question. Zavala knows she’s trying to change the subject but he’s willing to let her. “Don’t you have stories? The Awoken, I mean. Aren’t there stories in the Reef, creation myths, tall tales?”

“There are, I guess but…” Zavala hedges. He guesses there are but he’s damned if he can remember any of them. “We left. Maybe our stories didn’t have enough truth to them.”

Sasha tips her head back to look up at him. “So make new ones.”

~*~*~*~*

“Zavala!” Izanami flitted around Zavala’s head like a gadfly, nudging his shoulder and purposefully blocking his view of his work. She wove left and right trying to lock his gaze with her optic. “It’s the first night of The Dawning, that’s enough now. You haven’t even looked at the Dawning Crystal, Ikora really outdid herself this year. The night shift is here. Everyone else has left, you’ve got no excuse...”

“The Dawning isn’t going anywhere, The Dawning can wait a few minutes while I finish up.” He replied, gently pushing her out of his way.

“We’re going to be late, Amanda will kill us.”

“First of all, we’re not going to be late and secondly Amanda will not-”

“She’s been working hard on this dinner, if we’re late she will literally kill us.”

Zavala pressed his lips into a thin line. “Literally? Words mean things, Izanami, you know I don’t like it when you do that.” The little AI’s shell was quivering with nervous energy. If he didn’t know that Ghosts didn’t eat, Zavala could swear she was hyped up on too much sugar from Dawning treats. Maybe it was psychosomatic? Could Ghosts pick up on the mood of over-excited humans? No matter, the root cause didn’t change the fact that she was actively delaying him rather than hurrying him along.

“Let’s go!” She pleads, turning in an impatient pirouette.

“The more you pester, the longer this will take. You go on ahead, tell Amanda I will be there in twenty minutes.” He raises an eyebrow for emphasis. “Literally, twenty minutes.”

“Fine.” His ghost turns to leave before abruptly turning back to face him. “But if you’re late and Amanda does kill you? I’m not rezzing you.”

“Thats a risk I shall have to take.” Zavala returned to his work with a wry shake of his head. It wasn’t just dotting i’s and crossing t’s in these missives to the Speaker. For his own peace of mind, he had to be sure the hand over to the Night Shift was properly handled and besides, there were Dawning-specific social niceties to think of. His conscience wouldn’t have allowed him to head off to a celebration without personally thanking each and every one of the staff who had volunteered to work over this festival. It was a selfless act and that was something that spoke to Zavala’s pride in his City like nothing else.

When he finally left, he decided to take a brief detour to take a look at the decorations around the Tower. As the Dawning Crystal hove into view when he ascended the steps to the plaza, he had to admit, Izanami was right. Ikora had outdone herself. A warm feeling bloomed in his chest as he took in the sight of the lanterns strung around the plaza and the snowfall filling in the footprints of raucous guardians armed with snowballs. He turned towards Traveler’s walk; the view from there during winter was always lovely and that area was less likely to be used as a snowball field of conflict. As he suspected, it was far quieter there. It was silent save for the sound of two feet jumping simultaneously into the snow over and over. He followed the sound to see who was making it.

Sashenka. No, he couldn’t call her that, not anymore. Hunter. Guardian. Those were the only appropriate names now. She was leaping, two feet together, from one unsullied patch of snow to another. She would occasionally pause to stamp down the snow into ice before moving on. He shouldn’t be there, he could practically hear his Ghost urging him to leave, telling him what a terrible, terrible idea it was to stay. Yet, there he was. Rooted to the spot, taking in every detail; How beautiful she looked bathed in the combination of lantern and Traveler light, the snowflakes settling on and standing out against her black hair, how similar she was to that woman he fell in love with centuries ago. How very discomfiting it was how often she challenged his assertion that Guardians were not the same people they were before they died.

Sasha did a one-hundred-and-eighty degree turn. Her laugh when she stuck the landing was suddenly cut short when she saw Zavala watching her. She staggered to the side, spoiling the pattern of double footprints she’d left in the snow. She gave an awkward wave.

“Evening, Commander.”

Zavala responded with a respectful nod and crossed over to her. “Hunter. Enjoying your first Dawning?”

She shrugged and nodded a little too vigorously. “Uhm. Yes?”

He frowned at how unconvinced she sounded. “No plans for tonight?”

“My friends are having a party.”

“Your friends.” He held her gaze. “But not you.”

She exhaled slowly and seemed to deflate. “I’m just not feeling it.” The lines on Zavala's forehead deepened, signalling a demand for an explanation. “It’s not a real festival. It’s all made up.”

“Not real?”

“It’s cherry-picked. It’s a hodge-podge of different cultures.” She bowed her head and looked up at him through apologetic eyelashes. “It seems fake to me.”

Zavala brushed some snow off a nearby bench and gestured for her to sit.

“Did I say something wrong?” She asked, sinking down, her shoulders hunched up as far as they’ll go.

“No,” he said,settling on the bench beside her. “Just consider the possibility that just because something isn’t real, that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.” He paused to let her respond but her only answer was knotted brows, so he continued. “Rites, rituals, festivals. They give structure and meaning to our lives. You don’t have to believe in the reality of the Dawning to believe in the truth of the message behind it.”

“Which is?”

“How did you feel when you were first resurrected?”

“Scared. Lonely, I guess. Doesn’t everyone feel that way at first?”

“At first, yes. Being awoken, alone, without even the memory of who you once were to keep you company is a hard thing to bear. I know I felt adrift, with only my Ghost to keep me right.”

Sasha shook her head ruefully. “It’s hard to imagine you as a confused kinderguardian. You’re so-”

“- Choose your next words carefully,” he deadpanned.

“Stolid.” She grinned up at him, waiting for his reaction.

“All right. That’s an acceptable description.”

“Well I’m relieved, Commander,” she said, through soft laughter. “But what does this have to do with the Dawning?”

He smiled, allowing himself a modicum of pride in the fact that he can still make her laugh, stolid as he is. “I was scared, yes, lonely too but I found people. Made friends, formed connections. The same goes for the refugees who came to the Traveler and founded the City. The collapse was culturally devastating, so much was destroyed; Histories, languages, communities. We lost our stories, we lost those things that teach us about the world we live in. So we salvaged what we could and made new stories. We took what was true, what mattered and made new festivals to preserve them. We survived. We joined together and were stronger for it. We rebuilt. We are the light in the Darkness. That’s the story the Dawning tells. That’s what it’s for. So yes, it’s constructed. Made up, if you will.”

“But it’s true. It's the City's truth. I get it.” She gave him a sly, sidelong glance.“So it’s not just about cookies and presents?”

“Well, no. A big part of the Dawning is about celebrating family and friendship. Cookies and presents help with that, I suppose. So go. Be with your friends. Eat drink, be merry, for tomorrow we fight.”

Sasha rose and vigorously shook her head, theatrically ridding her hair of the snowflakes that had settled there. “Wait.” She smoothed her hair out of her face and looked intently down at him. “You’re by yourself. Do you have somewhere to be? You can’t be spending the Dawning alone, not after that speech you just gave me.”

“I have somewhere to be,” He reassured her as he got to his feet.

“Oh. Well. Good.” She seemed relieved and perhaps a little disappointed too. Zavala couldn’t be sure but he wondered if she’d started forming an invitation in her head. He decided that was just egotistical wishful thinking on his part. It was safer that way.

“Happy Dawning, Guardian,” he said with a respectful nod.

“You too, Commander.” She pivoted her foot as if turning to leave but the rest of her body didn’t follow suit. “And thank you.”

“For what?”

“You always know what to say.” She shrugged, as though that were completely obvious.

“I’ve had some very good teachers.”

If Sasha were intimidated by the intensity of his gaze, she didn’t show it. She stared back at him for a not uncomfortable couple of seconds before finally blinking several times and looking away. She drew up her hood with a sheepish smile and a mumbled, “G’night.”

Zavala didn’t move. He watched her make her way down the path, waiting, hoping for her to grace him with another glance in his direction. Amanda Holliday’s amused drawl over his comm unit eventually distracted him from his vigil.

“So your Ghost wanted me to tell you that you’re officially late, Commander.”

“Are you going to kill me? She was at pains to tell me you would literally kill me if I were late.”

“Nah, you’re fine,” she explained. “You’re officially late, not Zavala-late.”

“What is Zavala-late?” he started ambling down the path once Sasha was finally out of sight.

“Half an hour after the official starting time. That lets you squeeze in all those one last, one last things you always have to get done before you leave work. So you’d better get down here before your Ghost has a nervous breakdown.”

“I’m on my way. I’ll see you soon.” He turned off his comm unit and halted where the path met a patch of snow-covered grass, deciding that he had one last, one last thing to do before he went to dinner. He regarded the pristine, gleaming expanse of white with a serious expression. He glanced around furtively, looking to make sure no one else had entered Traveler’s Walk. When he was sufficiently satisfied that he was alone, he put his feet together and bunny-hopped forwards onto the snow, chuckling softly to himself.

#destiny fanfiction #the dawning #commander zavala #zavala x oc #zavala x female guardian #dark age flashbacks #my writing #oc: sasha #zavala x sasha

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sharksfood · 4 years

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i cant read more on mobile. skip if you dont want to read about animal death.

my older cat Sweet Pea is being put to sleep today and im at work and cant stop thinking about her. i feel as if she should live longer, alot of cats go to 17-18 it seems?? our first cat Fred was 19 when he passed away. but Sweet Pea’s had alot of health problems over the years, so its no wonder. i feel horrible.

My family got her when she was 2, fresh out of surgery to fix her and take off her front left leg, but she was a fighter. she was always cranky, though loved my family, especially my parents. she lived through both our dogs, living with Fred and now Gerald. Shes moved with us once and seen all the remodeling of both houses. When i was younger I considered her my cat as i fostered her and brought up the idea of adopting her. But she’s the family’s cat, and I’m happy with that.

The story about her missing leg is that when she was 1 or younger her original owner’s had an apartment fire, so they threw her out the window to save her. Well she couldn’t flip over in time and landed on her left leg, breaking it. she also got some burns. after that, her owners dumped her on a neighbor, who eventually gave her up to the animal shelter. they couldn’t save her leg after all that time being broken, but she was never seriously bothered by it being gone.

In 2016 she underwent radiation treatment to cure a thyroid disorder, i was so worried she wouldnet survive, or itd get worse, but she was okay. now, its a manner of her quality of life. if we keep her alive a little longer with force-feeding, medication, etc. she’ll be miserable. but do nothing and just let her wither away would be worse. so putting her to sleep is the best option, she wont suffer any longer.

The vet says she has stomach and kidney problems, combined with her natural small size and strain on her legs from missing one, its just not good for her. my family and i are decided, but super sad. im just glad she didnt pass away while i was in college, unable to see her before she’s gone. but thinking about it, i dont know if i can watch her die.

Sweet Pea is so dear to me. shes an extremely special cat, someone who’s been there for me all the way. She’s of course fiesty, but also kind. Shes funny, dedicated, and doesnt let her size or disability get in her way. She around 15 years old now.

I remember the first day back from the humane society she managed to jump ontop of a cabinet we had in her room, close to the cieling! the few times we first let her outside (shes only now ever out on the deck or front patio and we keep an eye on her), she somehow dug up worms and put them in my bedroom closet! i guess it was get way of bringing me a prey gift. her favorite toy is this red or blue catnip fish on a string we got from the dollar store. its the only toy other than string she likes. she’ll case it in circles occasionally pouncing on it. shes so cute!

even though Sweet Pea hates most other animals, and is super picky on which people she’ll be nice to, everyone loves her. im going to miss her so much. All of my pets’ deaths were hard, but Fred and now Sweet Pea’s will be the worst. Cats are so important to me. It will be so strange visiting my parents and not saying hi to Sweet Pea...

#babble #animal death -#my cats #sweet pea #im trying not to cry at work #she got to sleep in my moms bed last night and i kept gerald at my apartment #so she got some peace and quiet #she was never bothered with going to the vet or riding in the car but she HATES getting her claws trimmed #she likes to sit either in the spare chair at the dinner table or on my dads chair armrest while we eat #she always loved being close to us #shed try to sleep on my parents heads at night too hehe #i miss her already #long post -#animal injury -

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remember-the-fanfics · 4 years

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Pink Diamond x reader? Maybe Pink is a vampire or something? I think it'd be cute

Complicated (Vampire!Pink x Reader)

This is like a story with bullet points. I'm bored with no internet

I also got bored and added like a soul mate thing in the middle.

Like when you touch someone for the first time, you would know who they are and that they are your soulmate.

• You had meet her during one of her trips away from the others with Pearl.

• She had never seen a freed human before and Pearl was quick to try and attack you, you dodged and hit the ground

• "Pearl!" She said, getting Pearl to look at her and stopping the attack to you. "They clearly mean no harm, They are just a human."

• You took offense to her words

• "What do you mean just a human?" You asked, getting a surprise look from the two.

• "You can... speak?" Asked Pink.

• "Of course, all humans can."

• Her family had lied to her about your kind, saying that you couldn't do anything to your own accord.

• "I am sorry, human." Said Pink, as you got up and dusted imaginary dust off your shoulder.

• "That's fine, I'm sorry I gotten in the way of your walk, ma'am."

• Pearl was going to tell you of Pink's actual title but a pleading look from Pink had stopped her.

• You had struck a conversation with the two, even though it was mostly just Pink.

• "You should get going, you probably need to sleep." Said Pink before you realized it was almost 3 am.

• "Oh shot. Bye Pink! Bye Pearl!" You said before running off towards you house.

• "Wait! I didn't get your name!" Yelled Pink just as you disappeared out of sight. "I didn't know humans

• You told your family about the peculiar lady you had meet in the woods at night.

• They knew who she was but not thinking that you would ever see her again, your parents just forbid you to out at night.

• The two of you had lived or move on with life, never just forgetting the event.

• Pink had brought up that she had ran into a human that could speak and think on it's own.

• "And you didn't kill it?" Questioned Yellow. "It has a pointless existence Pink, you would have better it's life."

• "But they were very respectful even if they didn't know who I was."

• "How could they not know who you are? That's just more disrespectful, Pink." Told Blue.

• Pink sighed and stopped talking about you to them. Wondering if anymore humans could be just like you.

• You had started her wonder of humans.

• As the years go by you become a full adult and leave your families house.

• Pink had been given a territory to rule over by the others, telling her, she had to get rid of most humans and turn the rest into supernatural creatures.

• She had been make humans just leave her land by fear or warning, if they didn't, she other to deal with them by killing or turning. She had came to your house to do the same.

• You had been cooking when you heard a knock on the door and you went to open it to see her, the lady from the woods.

• "You!" You both said.

• "Why are you here human? I didn't think you lived on this land." She said before glancing around. "Let me enter please. I can not be seen in the open for much longer, my human."

• "Of course, you can enter." You said stepping to the side and she entered. "Oh, wait. My soup!" You yelled running towards you kitchen and Pink laughed at you actions.

• "Oh no, I eat other things than that." Said Pink when you said she could have some. "You need to leave you land, human." Said Pink, earning you choke on your food.

• "W-what? Why?" You asked, sitting your food down.

• "You are in grave danger if you stay, the humans are being changed or killed in these parts."

• "Change? You mean turn into one of supernatural creatures?" Tou asked and Pink shook her head yes.

• "I do not wish any of those on you." Said Pink, taking you hand before there was a flash of light as you both felt it.

• "This makes everything alot more complicated for you." Said Pink, remembering what the other told her what would happen if she ever meet her soulmate. "But atleast now I know your name, (Y/n)."

• "So you are a vampire, no wonder you asked me if you could enter." You said. "And you're name Pink, like the color."

• "Oh no. I was just being polite-. Hey!" Said Pink laughing before getting serious again. "My family, in terms, can now tell that I have a soulmate and can figure out if it's you."

• "Oof. That does make everything alot more difficult. They clearly aren't the nicest from what I know." You said.

• "You can come with me (Y/n)." Said Pink, giving you the easiest yet complicated way.

• "Yeah but I would have to be not human, Pink." You said before seeing the sad look in Pink. "Not that I wouldn't mind being with you forever Pink but I don't want to do that because of others."

• "O-Of course." Said Pink.

• "You've ever thought of running off?"

• "All the time." Pink said instantly. "They aren't the gentlest people (Y/n)."

• "Well, I heard from a old family friend, there's land where they don't control. We could go there. They wouldn't be able to find us."

• "They'll still know I'm alive and I'm not leaving my friends here with them." Said Pink before think. "What if we faked our deaths?"

• "We?"

• "Yes! They could smell it in your blood who you were suppose to be to me. It would be a romantic tragedy."

• "You need not to read anymore of those books but isn't faking our deaths to far?" You asked and Pink stood up and got closer, took you hand once more and look at you in the eyes.

• "It's the only way (Y/n). Trust me please." Said Pink, knowing what she was doing but it is your idea to start with.

• "Of course." You said, feeling weird. "I trust you, it's the only way."

• Pink said thanks and she had to leave to once more. She had promise she would be back soon with her friends and a plan.

• After a few days of waiting, she arrived with Pearl. She said she couldn't get the other one but she didn't regret it.

• "So you're going to blame a person that you've made up for our deaths? And how will they know that you died?" You questioned and Pearl pulled out a bag of ashes and a stake.

• "We will also require some of your blood. We want them to think someone took your body." Said Pearl, nervous about this as much as you.

• "I can help with this (Y/n)." Said Pink, showing her fangs. "It's mostly painless and I have a glass to put your blood in."

• "Of course." You said sighing, you had a feeling this was going to happen.

• Pink had quickly bite your wrist and caught the blood in the glass. She had held it close to her face before licking the rest off.

• "You actually taste better than I thought you would." Said Pink after she kissed your wound and wrapped it up.

• "That's extremely weird complement." Said Pearl, stating the obvious.

• "Oh! Sorry." Said Pink.

• And then you had to set a scene with others watch the event to give eye witnesses.

• That their beloved Pink and her new found soulmate suffered the same fate after meeting each other.

• The starts your escape to the land, you've actually seen. You had went to your family for the map and said goodbye to them.

• As you adventure went, Pink switched her name to Rose as the fake person who killed her. You kept yours as no one truly knew you. Pearl had stayed by both your sides as you meet and gain new friends, Amethyst and Garnet.

• Garnet was a vampire-witch and Amethyst is a werewolf, both running away from Pink's family for differentiating from the normal.

• After a few years after you all made a life and house together, Pink had turned you and it took you forever to actually want to try blood.

• Even if your new body was fading. Pink had to get some blood of a willing human and made you drink.

• "See it wasn't so bad?" Said Pink earning a glare. "Don't give me that look. You were going to kill yourself."

• "Fine, it wasn't that bad." You mumbled, blood didn't taste like copper anymore. Better than expected but you couldn't put a finger on what it actually tasted like.

10/31/19

Ahaha, this would be posted on Halloween if the internet worked but I hoped you enjoyed.

#su steven #steven universe x reader #steven universe imagine #steven universe #su pink diamond #su pearl #reader insert #gender neutral #happy halloween

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pkmnsdarkqueen · 4 years

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Specifics on how the Masked Man Affected Karen

TW: child abuse, TW: violence, TW: sex, TW: alcohol, TW: death mention, TW: grooming-ish? (I don’t know how else to phrase that last one so here’s mini version you decide for yourself: to sum up at one point Karen wanted to learn how to seduce people but didn’t do anything until she was of age. details are limited)

Also it’s long, I’m sorry.

For background: I head cannon it that Will and Karen joined at the same time, and knew each other before joining. Will ran from home because people were scared of his psychic abilities. Karen ran from home because it was overall a bad place with a mom that ignored her unless she wanted something. Karen wanted to be a pokeathlete so she made a base under the bleachers and competed. Will and her ran into each other, and when she saw he was homeless to invited him to stay with her. Things went great until Karen was successful enough that her mom saw her on TV and rushed to get her. Not wanting to be trapped at home again Karen went on the run again with Will in tow. Although now it was harder because they didn’t have hardly any income leading to pick pocketing, and light crime. How they met the Masked Man was because Will tried to pick pocket form him using his powers, failed, and instead of being mad or scared the guy was super kind and even offered to take both he and Karen in. Will was rather sold on this but it took a week to convince Karen cause she didn’t really trust this guy.

Ok everyone caught up? Cool.

So Karen’s crux as far as a weakness is that if she cares about someone she will do next to anything for them. Usually to get into that inner circle it takes time with her, and some deep level of similarity with the person. She also never had really a family except her pokemon, and again was mostly ignored by her mom unless needed. So training started and how she got manipulated was that the Masked man would spend dedicated time with her not always for training, just time with her, which meant alot and contrasted her mother. He set the tone of them being a family, something he knew she wanted. This helped with the similarity function, and during the one on one time would always make it sound like they had alot in common. Plus with how Rocket operated this felt so much bigger and grander than when she was wanting to be a pokeathlete just to have Will tag along. No in her mind they were all together in this.

She wanted to be a part of this bigger grander thing, she wanted to make the Masked Man proud because in her mind he genuinely cared about her more than what she could accomplish, everyone here including him felt like her in one way another thanks to his manipulation, and she actually had a family. Everything seemed right to her.

During the more formal training he managed to convince her killing, stealing, lying, destruction, etc. was all valid as long as she did it for the group. If someone wasn’t part of the group they weren’t part of the family, and they were a possible threat to it, so if she was told to do something bad to someone then it was ok because they were a threat.

He also wore Will out during training with him thus making it hard for Karen and Will to have good quality time with each other to really talk about things.

Again Karen is thematically the light in the darkness from what I summarized here. How this plays in is that Karen like in the beginning always had a lingering doubt about everything, like a candle in a dark room. The Masked Man tried desperately to snuff it out constantly telling her to care less. Her light though was Will. He was the first human she considered a friend, and even family. She watched the Masked Man change him, as time went on she felt a separation between him. Of course this was intentional. The Masked Man while outwardly structured it as a family the connections of loyalty were supposed to only be drawn to him. He wanted connections between each individual person to be weaker than connections to him. Karen though couldn’t make herself put The Masked Man higher in loyalty than Will no matter how he tried to force her. He did alot to try and make this happen such as gradually sending them on missions with others or on solo missions and this started to work slowly.

The double M scar carved onto the back of her neck started when she was 14, had been with him 3 years, and already had committed enough to wrack up a high body count. What she did to earn the scar was something that would seem minor. During training she was beating Will and at point stopped thinking that she’d done enough damage. The Masked Man told her to keep going, she did a bit, and stopped again, he said to keep going, she did a bit and then stopped again. Then he got furious asking why she kept stopping, and she explained that she didn’t want to hurt Will more than was necessary. Then when The Masked Man told her she shouldn’t be worried about that she argued back. Next thing Karen knew she was forced on the ground, and he was carving the letters into the back of her neck. It started with him telling her it was a reminder on who knew best, then that eventually became who she ought to listen to, then who she obeyed, and then finally who owned her. He would recarve it anytime it started to fade, or she put someone else above listening to him.

It was about 15 when Karen wanted to help prove her loyalty, and convince herself this was good. Her attempt to snuff out the light. It started when while training she had a cyst on one of her ovaries burst. Of course she needed an opperation, and it resulted in her loosing an ovary. After that she questioned why she needed them anyway. Periods interrupted missions at times, and she wasn’t planning on ever having children. She had seen her mom bring home guys and simply use them, she heard about other girls being able to do it, and without ovaries she could seduce with no consequences. So she wanted to gain skills in that kind of manipulation. The one good thing The Masked Man did is that he didn’t want her to do anything too far for her age, and also questioned the medical safety of this. He convinced her to keep the other ovary. She could learn but not do until 18, and Karen obeyed this. So she made friends with a stripper, who would later become her bartender Kimiko, and learned how to seduce people. Thus warping the concept of love for her by her own choice. Karen at the end of the day though felt rather proud seeing it as her giving even more, and proving her loyalty even greater. However she still kept seeing that metaphorical flickering candle light as she watched Will change telling her something was wrong.

He grew to be so much more invested in the whimsey of essentially doing as he wanted since they were outside the law. While Karen justified it by, this is for the family, he was sold in on the fact he could do what he wanted when he wanted as long as it was within the reigns of helping or obeying Rocket. He could even use his psychic powers more freely and they were hailed as something to be proud of. He didn’t see he was being used just like Karen didn’t. Also to block out the emotions of guilt Karen carved her emotions out slowly but surely even with Will to some extent putting a strain on their relationship.

When Blue and Silver entered the scene Karen was so bent on proving to herself this was good she often lashed out at the pair of kids. She was a bit nicer to Silver since she could relate to the awful home life, and absent dad. To Blue she was the most vicious since Blue had everything before coming to the Masked Man. It was around then Karen and Will also surpassed Carl and Sham in favoritism to the Masked Man, and Karen was hell bent on not having Silver and Blue take the spots she and Will had so viciously fought for. Doing so also kept her from asking ‘why do I want this so badly?’ When Blue and Silver managed to get out later she was both disgusted they leave, happy to no longer compete, stressed because she couldn’t let out her anger anymore, but ultimately it aided in her questioning.

Ho-oh and Lugia entered the picture soon after, and Karen felt such an honor to have the pokemon. Pokemon were also her family. She knew they were supposed to just be tools to most of Rocket, but Pryce treated his well so she did as also. The only thing was that the more time she spent with Ho-oh the more she found a reflection of herself. The bird may look majestic, and powerful but at the end of the day it was trapped. It never emoted, just did as it was told. It didn’t seem happy or sad about anything simply existed because it had no other option. In fact it only really emoted when Lugia did something and viece versa. Besides those times the pokemon never really felt as though it was alive, just existing.

Back at her mother’s house she had left because that’s always how she felt. She only existed really when her mother needed something or in school when she caused touble. She wasnt a part of anything either so she couldn’t exist in any other place. She had people that were friendly but not many friends since she was given weird looks when she talked about home life like the other kids. She just didn’t exist really for any reason at all. And looking at Ho-oh now she wondered if she was repeating the process. Did she only exist when she was needed?

She tried to talk to Will about it but by then there was such a gap betwen them it was hard. She couldn’t talk to any of the other kids because they despised her. So she would talk alone to Ho-oh, and even if it wasn’t able to understand she didn’t care because in her own way she sort of existed to someone then.

As these questions piled up and this small candle of doubt grew bigger the reality shattering moment happened. They lost the legendaries. Now she knew that was bad and she knew the Masked Man woukd be upset. He’d hurt them before but this was different. Will took the blame, he shouldn’t of because it was Karen that pushed for them to keep fighting when they shouldn’t of. It confirmed for Karen that even though there was a gap their connection was still there, he still cared. And then Pryce hit Will so hard he went down in record time. Karen saw one of her idols almost kill her only family member and then told her,“Handle this.” Like he was a stray piece of paper to be picked up, as insignificant as a squashed fly. And that’s when Karen knew everything she feared was real. They didn’t matter. They only mattered, they only existed when they were needed, and they were nothing more. They weren’t a family. The only family she had was Will and at the time of it happening she thought he died.

Thankfully he didn’t die, but she never wanted to get that close again. And she ran away with Will who was still fading in and out. She didn’t know where they were going, and she didn’t care all she needed was him, and their pokemon. To her nothing else mattered.

A day later they ran into Koga and Bruno. The best way to describe Karen was a cornered injured animal viciously protecting her companion so nothing about her was friendly or welcoming. She would of denied their help, but she was desperate to help Will and accepted it. Eventually this lead to a very positive outcome too! When Will was better he bonded alot with Bruno since both of them had their heads messed with/adapted to fit Rocket’s wants. They could understand the trauma and invasiveness of it on a very deep level. Plus they proved to be the two goof balls when together. Koga and Karen bonded being the ones who were a bit more serious about the matter, Karen also reminded Koga of his daughter, and well Karen’s father figure record was absent then abusive so an actually healthy one (compared to the others yes he’s healthy)was a nice change of pace. Although it took MUCH longer for her to open up to Koga this time around still traumatized from The Masked Man. While with Pryce it only took three months roughly to trust him. It took about a year and a half to really trust Bruno or Koga. Then it wasn’t until 3 years and they were in the league that Karen accidentally called Koga ‘dad’, and then realized Bruno was like an uncle to her.

For the record. Karen has learned by now her bio dad wasn’t absent by choice but forced to be, and is a great person. Though she sees him as her father Koga is in her mind still her dad.

As for the aftermath of Pryce well she despises the fact that he’s allowed to still be a gym leader. However they can’t do anything about it because if they did it’d put all of the Johto league behind bars as well. She’s contemplated murder multiple times, but anything that happened to him would automatically make her and Will suspects especially since Carl and Sham have seemed to disappear. It irks her to see him anyplace and she tries to simply not acknowledge him. One time he called her daughter at a league event, and Karen shattered the glass in her hand by squeezing it. Thankfully she was with Bruno and Lance so they were the only ones to see it, and helped her bandage it up. She simply refuses to address him. She also can’t bring herself to go to Mahogany town. The memories are run too deep and she will start to have a panic attack. Yes, she’s tried multiple times to go back even with Lance since he loves the lake of rage, but she just can’t do it.

She is doing her best to make amends with Blue and Silver. What really bothers her is Carl and Sham though. She has no idea where they are even with all of her contacts, and she is afraid they might come back to destroy all that she’d built.

To sum up love now for Karen btw. She concluded when she was younger love was only something a couple had as long as everyone in the couple got something out of it. When you couldn’t give anymore you weren’t wanted. Which was why she never wanted to pursue love for anything serious, after all why bother when it was always doomed to fail or trap you. Karen has adapted that but still takes her time in relationships avoiding anything sexual especially because in her mind:”I want to know that even when you don’t need me my I exist to you, and my existence means as much to you as yours will to me.”

#TW: death mention #tw: abuse #tw: death #tw: violence #tw: child abuse #headcannons #long #karen's time in rocket #(this isn't even including the shiz where she told a joke and everyone passed out cause that really opened a can of worms which are her #current character flaws)#(which btw the passing out joke thing is cannon so not my addition it's in the lore)

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