#shit awesome most of the things theyre listing are things i dont like i can either force everyone to get food im okay with
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youre doing gods work w the boostle list i stg. once that drops its OVER for me. eithet that or ill just hyperfix rlly hard for a week then forget ab it. well see. is there any other dc shit youd rec or whatever while were at it.
MARTY my friend marty is doing gods work theyre helping me a lot rn remembering which specific issues of other comics they show up in before we get to the big big stuff like countdown
as for other dc stuff id rec....Well i recently finishing reading the 80s (and 60s) doom patrol comic and enjoyed it very much! im also watching the tv show and its good but the episodes are like an hour long so its like a Task to sit down and focus on. Im only like a handful of episodes in
I did not fucking care for like the first 20 issues of doom patrol 1987 and almost dropped it until i reached the grant morrison run and it was instantly so good i couldnt stop reading. Ive said this to my friends before but i would say its comparable to the works of stephen king in both the good and the bad ways. It was a good comic in the same way "It" was a good book
The 60s one is fine and i enjoyed it (it has rita! but so does the tv show so if you want to see her but dont want to read a 60s comic you can watch her there) but if youre in it for the surreal really weird storylines you mightve heard rumors of from dp the 80s run is where it all begins. honest to god id say just skip the issues until grant morrison takes over theyre so BORINGGGGG. IN MY OPINION
hm what else have i been reading OH. YOUNG JUSTICE 1998! i recently finished this one as well i dont know why it took me so long it was only 55 issues but it was SOOOOOO GOOD. i do not fucking like the young justice cartoon this comic is the superior yj media i mean just compare yj 98s kon (cool leather jacket. gay earring. undercut. tiny shades. TWO belts) to the tv shows kon (just a t shirt and jeans. ugly haircut. lame. stupid. ugly. die. Straight)
K*N -> THE COOLER KON EL
cant rec this comic enough mostly out of spite for the fact that when most people think of young justice they think of the swagless cartoon and not this beautiful team of teens. For one, the kids actually act like teens in the comic and not young adults having stupid relationship drama. Theyre sweet and stupid and care about eachother and the storylines are really thoughtful and opinionated. a lot of what im saying is regurgitated from things my much more eloquent friend monty has said about yj but since reading it for myself and now knowing firsthand i cant agree more. There was a really awesome story involving arrowette (cissie king jones) about a school shooting and gun violence. a lot of modern comics take the (pussy) centrist route when dealing with big controversies like this but they literally look to the camera and say GUN CONTROL **PLEASE!!!!!!!!**. in an ealier issue theres this funny moment where bart (impulse) zips away to stop some hunters from killing a deer and kon (superboy) is like did you really violate their AMERICAN right to shoot guns? AWESOME!!!!!!!!
also its just earnestly really really really funny. it has that sam and max style of humor which is why i think i loved it so much.
cant sing enough praises for this comic. Also in the yj show they had dick grayson as the robin for the first season? and wally? why do you hate tim drake and bart allen that much. tim kon and bart are a package deal dont separate them you bitch!
umm well that was only 2 comics i ended up recomending but i talked a lot about yj sooooo. there you go
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A comprehensive list for Characters, Aus, and Nicknames:
So buckle up this is probably going to be one of the longer posts. I tried to organize it in a way that makes sense who knows if i succeeded
Au: Fellswap Gold
———— Fellswap Gold is the au in which everything is taking place. I’m definitely tweaking things(side eyes the shit out of my own oc) but for the most part i like the worldstate as is because the world building the original creator did is fucking awesome. Basically 1950s-1960s style kinda world where the underground has been freed and there is a relative sort of peace at this point in time. relations between monsters and humans are somewhat tense.
The boys live in a city that was built at the foot of ebbot that was designed to be the place where humans and monsters could prove coexistence possible. Though not many humans were really chomping at the bit to go live there.
FellSwap Gold Papyrus - Pap, Pyrus
FellSwap Gold Sans - Sans, Fearless
Fellswap Gold Alex - Alex, Human, Firestarter(It was One Time!)
Au: Fellswap Violet
———— so this is one of the aus i had a hard time researching initially and im planning on trying to go looking for more info before i write anything for cash. Most of my current knowledge of him is tangential to other crossover fics.
For the purposes of this fic though Cash served a role in his underground as something of an information broker and protection dealer(among other things). in his timeline the monsters have been freed and Cash has been on the straight and narrow for a while.
Fellswap Violet Papyrus - Purple, Cash
Au: Dancetale
———— Campbell is the closest we actually get to a classic sans and i wanted him here because for one thing i think the dynamics of dancetale are so cool but also i dont tend to see a lot of fics that include him in the crossovers. So why not? Also he looks so soft and squishy in comparison to the fell aus. In Campbells timeline The Underground has yet to be freed. This may be important later
Dancetale Sans - Campbell
Au: Gourmet-tale
———— par is from an au my friends designed that i made an oc for and then also made a couple of variants of as time went on. They are my baby tbh and i love them dearly. So dearly as to kinda wanna watch them vaguely suffer.
This particular variant is from an au where the monsters were never sealed underground. This world is high-key very food focused to the point where honestly this au is basically a cooking anime. Par works in a hole-in-the-wall cafe as a waiter. Also to be noted Par is in fact a variant of Alex. Yeah remember how i mentioned monsters were never sealed? Yeahhhh humans dont really exist anymore by this point in time; theyre basically nonexistent as the species got subsumed by monsterkind.
Par the Fire/Earth Elemental - Par, Hothead
Au: nonexistent
———— Broadcast’s au no longer exists and whoever they were before what they are now, they do not know and do not care. Broadcast exists because they are mainly based on the idea that the multiverse is essentially a living organism and things like broadcast exist to destroy decaying cells before they spread decay to healthy cells. The cells in question are the infinite verses that exist.
Their job so to speak isn’t necessarily to destroy everything in their path but to look for the things that are already decayed to the point of no return. Sometimes Broadcast can save a bit of something that hadn’t decayed yet or, in rare cases, even fix a decaying verse by destroying the source of decay before it gets too far along. They’re less a god of destruction and more just the cleanup crew. They are also half of a pair of their own. And together they very much exist in a yin and yang like balance, creating from destruction and destroying from creation both in turn. All in all they were very fun to make but they are essentially an oc inspired off of error rather than a variant of error!Sans himself by this point.
If you want info/references about error!sans go take a look at LoverofPiggies here on tumblr.
I’d also suggest taking a look at the “forced god of destruction” tag on Ao3 as that played some pretty good parts in broadcasts design as well
Error! Alex - Static, Broadcast, Bars, Editor
Au: Storyshift Swap(bara)
———— hoo boy so i had a very specific idea for cobalt initially and when i went to do research because surely someone had already created this au yes? Yknow what i found? Practically nothing. So very much in keeping with the rest of this fic i rolled up my sleeves and went i guess im making it??? Storyshift is already confusing ill admit and swapping everything around definitely made it moreso but i had fun with it.
Cobalt lives in the ruins, very much haunted by the decisions his brother has come to and has been desperately trying to protect each child that goes through the ruins. He has yet to succeed. Needless to say The monsters have yet to escape the underground in his timeline.
Storyshift Swap Sans - Robes, Cobalt
Au: SpaceOpera
———— ooh this is a fun one. So technically Antares is as he is described however i want you to toss everything except the bare bones of the Outertale au out. It wont help you here.
This is another au me and my friends made and never posted anything about ever. But we were obsessed. This thing got so much worldbuilding to it! I got to design a whole ass planetary system and lifecycle!!! Ooh it was fun! So i wanted to pull one of the characters in for this. Antares is also the only one who would recognize Par as there is a version of them within his timeline. Speaking of:
Antares’ timeline is a long and convoluted one this is in part due to Monsters not being a singular species within his universe. They are various species who are all united(for the most part) by treaties and the like to a galactic community. Antares is from a species that looks vaguely like skeletal insects. His original planet was also destroyed and he was among the few lucky enough to survive the following extremely difficult years(this is where the horror part is accurate) his people are currently within the rebuilding process of their home and culture on a new planet and are on the mend.
Horror OuterFell Papyrus - Antares
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man i wish my brain would let me eat more kinds of food so im not a constant burden on my friends and family whenever the need to eat food comes up
#my family is used to it at this point#but whenever my friends start suggesting places to eat im like#shit awesome most of the things theyre listing are things i dont like i can either force everyone to get food im okay with#or let them get what they want and just deal with it#its not really like sucking it up and eating shit i dont like is an option#cause that will usually end in me getting physically sick and having a mental breakdown#if i bang my head against a wall enough will it remove the autism#every time i have to ask for certain food im like#if i do this one more god damn time all of my friends will break up with me#*trying not to cry* haha im so sorry can we get like mcdonalds or something haha#im doing a funny joke sad voice to cover up the fact that i feel like throwing myself off a cliff right now haha#anyway thats enough being sad on the internet for today#i say things
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ok so i was tagged by @tantamount-treason to do this lil thing??? and ive been blessed w a bunch of new besties lately and im bored <3
1. vulnerability is..
i think most people see vulnerability as a weakness because thats what the media has always portrayed it as, but its really a strength in my opinion. being afraid of vulnerability can be so isolating and prevent us from forming solid, intimate relationships with people. learning how to be vulnerable and embracing vulnerability is learning how to understand ur emotions and how to project them in a way thats authentic. it sounds like bullshit but i swear once u realize being vulnerable is actively choosing to be open and honest about ur emotions ur life can get so much easier
2. you’re called to do something brave, but your fear is real and stuck in your throat. what is the first thing you do?
honestly…. doing something brave… being the overthinker i am that wording is leading me to believe that something perilous is involved and i just dont do well under pressure so probably i would cry and panic :) and do like a cute quick little pros and cons list idk this feels like a very time sensitive thing and thats just not my strong suit
3. what is something people often get wrong about you?
that im super confident and social and that i can easily talk to anyone. while i understand why people think this way, im actually only talkative because im nervous and dont like uncomfortable silence so im overcompensating by making pointless and fast paced conversation.
4. whats the last show you binged and loved?
maybe the good place or big little lies! i rewatched them both recently and theyre just literally perfect shows idk
5. give us a film you really love!!!
AHHH i have so many wtf um…i really enjoy the 2018 smash hit box office ball buster “ophelia” with rey from star wars (ms. daisy ridley) its just so good and it was all i could think of at the moment but i have so many movies that id die for and love so much so i dont think its fair to rank them
6. a concert you’ll never forget?
i went to atlive last november to see cage the elephant and greta van fleet but metallica was headlining. i assumed the metallica fans would be kind and caring but these specific fans were the exact opposite and ruined the experience for me sadly and ill never forget it since it was my first time seeing cage and theyre my favorite band in the universe :/// but thankfully i did get to see their performance as well as gretas and they both did awesome!!
7. whats ur favorite meal ?
bro i couldnt even tell you… some soup or bread idk hot girl meals u kno the drill
8. whats on ur nightstand right now?
ok so context. my nightstand is a three tier corner shelf so i put like my drinks n shit on there sometimes and like my rings but its mostly for decoration so right now on the top shelf we have 2 edward scissorhand funko pops and a fishtank cool tree decoration and an incense burner that looks like a japanese tower thing? and also a dobby figurine, then the next shelf down we have a shelf dedicated to frog memorabilia and has a salt lamp on it and then the next shelf down has some stuffies and books and a sketchpad!!
9. give us a snapshot of an ordinary moment in your life that brings you great joy.
this is hard bc i think i dont take the time to actually reflect on all the small simple things that bring me joy very often but recently ive started coloring in childrens coloring books (not the adult coloring books those r too elaborate) and that brings me so much joy. showering and being in the shower also brings me so much joy and peace i just feel so cut off from the world in the shower its nice :’)
10. what is one thing you’re deeply grateful for right now?
my cat! her name is newspaper but also bestie. like newspaper is her official name but i literally only call her bestie and she likes it. also my frog willie nelson i love him so much and i hope he lives forever and is immortal and rules the world. i also am thankful for books for being a place for me to run to when i feel really bad bc thats been happening kinda alot recently. OH and ofc for all my new pals as well as my old jackass pals aka my bff, boyfriend, husband, and life coach johnny knoxville aka pj clapp my angel <3
literally if anyone read all of these shit ramblings i will give u a big ole kiss on the cheek with consent bc thats fucking crazy and most of it was probably illegible so thank u
i dont really like tagging other ppl in these things bc it feels like a call out but ill do it anyways bc i wanna hear what u r gonna say <3 @viva-la-jackass1 @count-ravioli
#💌#bro i KNOW no one cares but theres a slim chance someone will#and i love u for that#and j hope ur day is amazing#also i love johnny knoxville hes my baby
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you said you’d answer all
go ahead 😌
gladly
flower crown: last night
fairy lights: do any of them share same feelings with me and who if so?
daises: unsure
1975: @thehugwizard 's stream last night most recent happy memory
matte: try and. fix my mental health, talk to parents about it etc etc and do stuff on my bucket list
black nail polish: yea, so. meet some online friends, go skydiving, and see iceland
pantone: uh... rather not tbh. sry. ik i said ill answer all but that one makes me a lil uncomfy
moodboard: not at all
stars: most likely when i cried last
plants: one of my online friends, we are so. awesome together. never met. i just want to be with them for a while.
converse: i have, tbh.
lace: uh it was noah @thehugwizard talking about a project we are working on. hes a really good friend of mine
handwriting: not sure who but i would say "thank you for making my life that much better i love you" would make sure i say platonically or romantically depending on the person cus idk who yet
cactus: brown eyes are my beloved. the way the light hits them, theyre so pretty.
sunrise: depression is being colorblind and constantly being told how colorful the world is - atticus
take that as you wish
oil paints: many mistakes, many new friends an adventure idk tbh.
overalls: invest it in nfts /j
but for real, donate to charity majority and keep some for myself. i mean like. not even 10% for myself. less than that.
combat boots: depends on what the person did
winged eyeliner: oh boy okay
hey me, i know we look different. just relax and enjoy the moments you have now. i know shit is rough right now but please stay strong. for us. just play stuff out, dont talk to (insert someones name here i rather not say publicly) for your own good. hug people. see the good in people. i love you. ( i know its not long enough but-)
pastel: punk
tattoos: self expression my beloved
piercings: nah just not my thing
cry baby: ajr and i loved them
grunge: idk some online friend saying how we can meet up
space: no i dont, and my rooms messy so-
white bed sheets: uh. i dont really have one, shower every day morning or night, and just be on tumblr then sleep
old books: this account exists
beaches: i would uh go green again ig?
eyes: no clue
lightning: never was either of those things
thunder: buy nfts
storms: listen to one song, i need different people for different things
love: yea i think i have but it feels like just. everything is good with them around you. in a way
clouds: what about the nonbinaries and others!?!
and yes. i rock black nail polish time to time
coffee: non fat no foam chai latte uh i trust my mom cus thats her order
marble: my online and irl friends
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THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series
first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over
which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.
so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.
i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here
without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.
THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1
clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.
firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING
the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case
i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case
i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.
i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!
i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974
i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.??
i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.
i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape
THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2
Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978
awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx
this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK.
so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;
Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978
then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link;
“https://youtu”
claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.
i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files;
relocate X/X/75 felix
storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)
Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten
Shipping Service 1975
New Location -> 1982
i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974
starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.
i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;
Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)
i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote;
Technical Support 1978
then,
Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)
alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;
- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod
- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;
- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho
i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;
- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.
- Tape #4 - Unkown Date
- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978
- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;
TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB
holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;
12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao
found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did
Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao
Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??
starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;
“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless:
at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;
@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*
okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well.
might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.
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incomprehensible conjecture and rambling about sunny/rcg under the cut! idk man I got 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 or wataver and my brain is an abandoned swamp Good Nigte
i certainly am not arguing that mac Absolutely Isnt a stereotype of a predatory gay man/self-hating homophobe or whatevr. i wont argue the homophobe one at all really,not great even if they rectified it and further tried to make up for it or whatever w mac finds his pride (which i love, regardless). but honestly i dont think the predatory complaint really makes a whole lot of legitimate sense considering every charatcer on the show is Extremely predatory in their own right. if he wasnt i’d be irritated to be honest. i do agree w wat mcelhenney said something like that its cool that they decided to acknowledge he was gay without changing him fundamentally as a person; he still needs to fit into the show or watever. like idk he’s not Ideal Gay Rep ofc but he’s awesome still. To Me. I like when character’s sexuality can be an improtant acknowledged facet of them but doesnt overtake the rest of te narrative! It never occurred to me that his behavior toward dennis would be seen as predatory ina stereotypical way seeing as how their relationship dynamic is so fckign bizarre. charlie has the same level of dogged cluelessness about the obj of his affection’s true feelings, so it didnt occur to me to see mac touching dennis’ knee or stuff of that variety as being any different ig or as making fun of queers or watevr. if i am wrong/misunderstanding i apologize. i have never considered mac from that perspective before.
honestly i kinda get the complaints. i’ve never rly thought rcg all have 10000% pure intentions with the insensitive kind of humor they are into, no matter their loophole justifications for shit. sometimes i almost believe their reasoning and do basically understand but it still seems flimsy when you considers stuff like the blackface stuff which is indeed kind of funny at times mainly bc the joke is the absurdity of it all, like mac in the shower with the brown dripping off him like he’s melting; it’s not funny at the expense of black ppl but more so at the expense of how goddam stupid and unaware mac is. i havent seen the blackface/brownface ones in years sos i dont have a whole lot to say excepe they seemed to be clearly against using blackface as the moral while still using it to get laughs. so. really honestly i don’t know that it’s Liderally Ever edgy white people’s call to use something like blackface regardless of context, regardless of their obvious intent? i dunno i have tried to find Black ppls opinions online a couple times but struggled to find any tangible results. the only other thing i have to say with ym white person words is that i think it’s stupid that the streamig companies take down all insensitive episodes like theyre trying to brush them under the rug and pretend it never happened in wake of a changing political climate. i get it, but kinda just seems like corporate scrambling ie disney getting ridof all of song of the south but still profiting from splash mountain eprhaps. something seems dodgy to me about pretending it doesnt exist anymore just to cover their asses. i understand the sentiment i guess but i dont think that’s really the main goal of the BLM movement, to purge streaming services of any questionable/racially insensitive/Fully Racist material; there’s surely more important things at the top of the lists besids Good Branding . im not sure if that makes sense
also a lot of episodes the joke is the blatant but somehow woefully oblivious homoerotic overtones present between the guys, like a Lot of the time. it is very funny though is the thing and a lot of thm are my favorites. i dunno. i also thought hte pooping transgender bit was pretty funny mainly cause it was absurd. i think maybe because i have my own what i think are reaosnable and empathetic views about certain stuff like queer shit it doesnt necessarily occur to me that they are trying to make fun of queer people.. like people make fun of conservative fans for having completely missed the point of it all being satire, and wat if i am being tricked to into assuming rcg has kind intentions and isnt trying to make fun of queer people just cause the thought didnt occur to me? instead of taking all the gay subtext serious- WHICh i Do, i should probably be more aware that to rcg it is just a bit and not really that deep. but mac and dennis were totally fucjing in s5 canonically. anwyays like aside from the carmen shit which is handled So Fuckign Bad and it makes me so upset cause i actually love carmen they were just very clearly not bothered with actually representing trans people accurately. so in the bathroom one if even fuckin dee reynolds is like, saying a trans woman in a woman’s bathroom is obviously normal.. it seems like they’d rectified some of their previous Very flawed rhetoric surrounding trans women (ie the whole “u slept with me when i was still a man” line. makes me cringe a bit ebery time)u get wat i mean?? not that it atones for it obviously. i love carmen she desreved better
butreallt i dont have any like. Pure Faith in rcg to be super accountable or honest about their intentions or to have the most accurate or agreeable beliefs or whataver. theyre just fucking about really because they can without any lashback. and people i think like being able to laugh at offensive shit thru scenarios which supposedly distance you from bigots/evil people and make u feel better about yourself watching these dumbass evil people talk slime. when like. glenn yelling supposedly arabic-sounding gibberish for example: it is funny in this context not just cause it’s wildly inappropriate and absurd but also because there’s prob significant amt of people who actually dont have an issue with it who could watch it and not have that takeaway whatsoever. i dont kno wt im talking about anymore btu honestly if youre trying to watch a show that isnt rife throughout with controversial/offensive/insensitive language and story beats, i dont know why you would try to stomach it with sunny. like for gods sake they used blackface more than once! i dunno man
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Can you answer every 5th question from your 216-question ask post? Thanks!
Girl you're killin me lol. I'm bored though so thanks for giving me something to do!! I know I'm really late posting this but oh well. Thanks for the ask :)
5) Book/series I reread?
My favorite author is Tana French and I've reread her books a few times. I've reread the book "The Shack" by William P. Young a few times as well. I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting right now.
10) The word that I use all the time to describe something great?
Probably fuck. As in, "that's fucking great" or "this is fucking awesome" or something like that lol
15) Last song I listened to?
Some new Five Finger Death Punch song that was on the radio
20) Favorite video games?
Probably New Super Mario Bros
25) Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?
Ooof... I can't think of any off the top of my head. I have some actors that I like that make me go "oh theyre in this movie, it might be good" but I don't think I ever really watch anything just because of a certain actor.
30) Eye color?
Blueish/greenish. Changes colors sometimes depending on what I'm wearing.
35) Am I excited about anything?
Not really.
40) What do I think about most?
I swing wildly between thinking about insignificant nonsense and everything I'm worried/anxious about (my very uncertain future and what to do with myself and mental health shit I'm going through) and I think about my loved ones a lot too!
45) Last film I watched?
The Hunchback of Notre Dame lol
50) How do I destress?
I'm pretty good at pushing things out of my mind when I want to or need to (a blessing and a curse) Also smoke weed. Idk, feels like I'm always stressed about something in the back of my mind.
55) Play any sports?
I don't anymore but I played volleyball for almost 10 years of my life. Good times. I miss those days.
60) Pet peeve?
People that put masks on their kids.
65) What fictional universe would I like to be a part of?
Friskies world from the cat food commercial of course
70) Can I sing?
I think I can sing ok. I'm not amazing but also not horrible.
75) Where do I want to live?
Away from people and traffic!!! I hate how close together the houses are in the suburbs. But I don't want to be so far in the middle of nowhere that I have to drive hours to get groceries. Idk, maybe I wouldn't mind that after awhile, I'd probably get used to it. I just want my own land and to be able to walk out the back door and have my own personal shooting range on my property.
80) Can I drive?
Yeah. Can't drive stick though. I should learn.
85) Favorite genre of music?
Rock
90) Favorite sporty activity?
Uhhh like walking or hiking I guess. Baseball definitely.
95) How tall am I?
5'7"
100) Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?
I have NO friends lol
105) Last person I texted?
My mom
110) Do I like selfies?
Eh sort of. If I'm feeling good about myself, I might take a few but that's rare for me these days. I like to take pictures of much more interesting things instead! Selfies are boring!
115) Favorite number?
8 I guess
120) Am I much of a daredevil?
Depends on the situation and the mood I'm in. I can be. We all got a little daredevil in us if we drink enough lol
125) The Beatles or Elvis?
Elvis
130) Favorite piece of advice?
Hmm....Anything Jordan Peterson says is usually great advice lol. But I guess simple things like be yourself, enjoy the small things in life, never miss a good chance to shut up, others can inspire and support you- but only you can save yourself, assume you know nothing, listen to your elders cause they know a thing or two about life (SOMETIMES)
135) Do I like gossip?
Eh not really. It depends. I know I'm guilty of it because that's all women be doin but you can definitely cross a line with that stuff and some people have issues with that and that shit can be annoying. it's definitely something I try not to do too much because I wouldn't want others to gossip about me behind my back
140) Do I believe people are capable of change?
I'd like to think so. I mean, I think its not ALWAYS the case. There's definitely people that wont or cant change but there's also plenty of people that are willing to put in the work and have changed themselves and their lives.
145) In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family?
Bitch nobody could play me or my family better than me or my family
150) What is the best decision I have made in life so far?
I honestly don't know. I thought of a few different things and realized none of them were really decisions I 100% made for myself /: I've had a life so far that's been filled with other people making decisions for me. Kind of one of my problems I gotta work on. I guess I would say choosing to finally leave the shitty relationship I was in but he kind of left me in the end so it wasn't completely my decision. There's probably a bunch of small decisions I've made in the past that turned out great for me that I'm just forgetting right now.
155) Who is the most intelligent person I know?
I used to think my brother was because he was a genius child but then I grew up and realized there's a lot of different ways to be intelligent. I was gonna say Jordan Peterson but I dont actually know him lol. It's a hard question for me because I truly believe people are intelligent in so many different ways and Ive met many people that are smart in some ways but dumb in others. I guess my Dad would make the list if I had to pick someone.
160) What color mostly dominates my wardrobe?
BLUE
165) Do I believe in fate?
I think so. I think we can change our fate though too.
170) One of my favorite quotes?
"those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."- Ben Franklin
"unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality"- Emily Dickinson
I have a TON of favorite quotes, I could take up pages lol. Those are just the ones I thought of off the top of my head.
175) Do I dream?
Yes, every single time I sleep. Even when I take a nap. I'm always dreaming.
180) Do I like shopping?
It depends on my mood and what I'm shopping for. Sometimes I'm in the mood to shop and I have fun with it but other times I'm not feeling it at all. I don't like spending money, it makes me feel guilty.
185) If I could master one skill, what would I choose?
Probably being an excellent shot. As skilled as Annie Oakley- if that's even possible haha
190) If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go?
60s or 70s. Maybe the 20s.
195) Would I ever want to encounter aliens?
Fuck no. Definitely wouldnt be like some sci-fi movie. It'd be fucking terrifying.
200) Dragons or wizards?
Neither. Never been into either of those things. I also never got what the big deal about dragons is
205) Do I like my handwriting?
Yeah I suppose. Its very inconsistent. It goes from messy to neat to somewhere in between all in one page. Just like me lol
210) What is on my bucket list?
Travel. See the world. I dont have anything super specific but I definitely wish I could see all this world has to offer.
215) What is the weirdest talent I have?
I have no idea. I have no talent that I can think of. I'm sure there's gotta be something but I have no clue right now.
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Whats your workout routine? Im an absolute stick of a girl but i really want to be strong and plan on going back to the gym when things open up 💚 (i have some workout equipment here at home)
Oh SWEET! I love when fellow women wanna be strong! 💪🏽 😄💓
LONG POST AHEAD GUYS!!
First of all I’m excited for you and luckyyy you got some workout equipment at home so that’s an awesome start :), secondly, just a disclaimer: I am in no way licensed for personal training or anything haha so without further ado:
For strength training I aim for at least 5-7 reps (repetitions of the exercise), which is good for warming up so you don’t waste your energy of doing 10 reps of weights you already feel comfortable with. It’s also a good amount for lifting those challenging weights.
My general guideline is if you feel comfortable doing 7-10 reps of a weight, you should try to move up to a weight that’s a lil heavier. That’s called progressive overload baybee! Because you’re progressively using weights that kinda overload your body a bit so you get stronger. I try to conserve my energy by taking breaks, drinking water, etc in between each set of reps.
Having a spotter / another person to save you from crushing your skull n shit really helps for making PRs (personal records) so you can lift heavier weights than you normally use, without yknow dying if the weights get to be THAT heavy, for your major exercises such as benching, squatting, etc. They only really help you usually by lifting 5-10 lbs of the weight youre trying to lift, sometimes not even that. Im about 100 lbs heavy, and made a squat PR of 155 one time without my mom even touching the bar!!! She was there tho, right behind me, so psychologically I felt 10000x more ready and brave enough to squat. And I went for 12 whole reps. Sometimes spotters help you to re rack your weights or unrack. I’ve gotten stronger from having my parents help me, and I’ve also done the same for my huge buff parents. Works well. Accepting help is the BEST!!!
So here’s my split and here’s what I do. My workouts are different every time but I always train LARGEST muscle groups - SMALLEST muscle groups/ isolate a muscle. Descending order of energy burn.
A lot of these I can’t even rly do because gyms are closed. I mostly improvise with homemade weights now or the dumbbells my mom shares w me now ; I do not have a homemade gym tho :,)
Green = core workouts, that I always include no matter what. They’re the “largest” muscle groups and are often seen in powerlifting competitions because they’re the most crucial for building strength.
LEGS (/GLUTES):
- squats (front & back, changing foot position from straight on & shoulder width apart, to toes facing out wards, to legs being wider apart, to legs being super wide apart (sumo position))
- deadlifts (changing my foot position the same way as squats) — these do LEGS and BACK
- leg press (leg press machine & sled machine)
- hacksquats
- walking lunges, reverse lunges
- hamstring machine
-calves (I sometimes do it after leg extensions)
- leg extensions (isolating your quads this shit BURNS! I love to do DROP SETS (in which I do progressive overload and then do as many reps of my heaviest weight as I can before I can’t, then I DONT TAKE A BREAK I DONT STOP as I drop the weight down by a little bit, do as many reps as I can before my legs give out on this safe machine, and I repeat until I’m legit down to using like 5-10 lbs and can barely do reps of that. That’s how you get a SICK pump btw, by doing drop sets for pretty much anything if it’s safe of course don’t be dumb and do that for benching with no spotter and then kill your chest and die)
- sometimes I mix in more glute workouts like hip thrusts, hip abductions, donkey kicks, fire hydrants w a booty band, or I do wall sits for a few minutes at a time to kill/ pump my quads.
- then I do the stepmill machine squeezing the hell outta my butt and legs going up 2 steps at a time after my leg workout, pretty slow, just to get blood flow in all of my legs again. Or bike. Or any other cardio. Even some sprints. I don’t do much cardio when I’m bulking because I don’t like to lose my gains but some cardio is good for strength building.
BACK & BICEPS (my split does the complimentary opposite muscles, meaning to contract back muscles I use biceps too; and for chest pressing I’m using my triceps):
- lat pull downs with free weights (the plates) on a couple different machines because the change of hand position is EVERYTHING
- lat pullbacks with free weights (I do one arm at a time sometimes because short arms and that’s the only way I can do that)
- lat pull downs with different bars/ handles make all the difference in cable machines
- lat pullbacks with cable machines
- lat pullbacks with dumbbells
- pull-ups (not powerlifting comp exercise but still a core exercise for me; I do drop sets in the assist machines by adding assistance each time after doing it unassisted is too difficult), or if you’re doing it from home I use my kitchen counter.
- any other back or bicep machines gyms may have; I like to explore
- curls ( classic curls, curls where you stop and start at a certain point (not full range), hammer curls, standing vs sitting with your back to a bench, preacher curls, one arm at a time vs both arms)
CHEST AND TRICEPS:
- bench press w bar (I switch my chest days between incline and decline; often doing flat benching after either)
- that with dumbbells now
- chest press machine ( again, incline or flat/decline)
- Arnold’s (I do those on chest AND shoulder day) theyre hard to master
- chest flys with dumbbells, cables, and / or machine
- [for incline chest I have my head on the bench and my body hanging off, knees at a 90° angle, torso parallel to the ground, holding 1 end of a dumbbell making a diamond shape with my fingers without my Versagrips on and I lift a dumbbell over my head kinda like skull crushers except straight arms and I go past my head, fuck I forgot what the exercise is called]
- pushups (changing hand position by width does a lot. Sometimes even having hands together making a diamond shape w the thumb and index finger works the triceps like you wouldn’t believe)
- tricep dips
- tricep extensions behind the head with dumbbells
- cable tricep extensions
- skullcrushers ( gosh that name is so hardcore)
- tricep machines if they have anymore
SHOULDERS: (mix n match with arms)
- shoulder press with dumbbells (preferably sitting so no assistance from momentum but standing is cool too :))
- press with the smith machine, esp if no spotter
- once again Arnold’s
- lifting dumbbells from your side or front, having hands either vertical or horizontal, arms straight, til the hands are extended and right at shoulder or eye level
- holding a free weight like a steering wheel arms extended kinda above head level, turning the wheel left and right, slowly.
- shrugs (machine or dumbbells or barbell )
- handstand push-ups against a wall
- downward dog pushups
- any other machines I may b missing
CORE ( I do everyday because it’s all about burning the abdominals as consistently as possible if you want definition, same sorta w biceps; the weight you use doesn’t matter as much as just the act of pumping them):
- crunches ( lower ab crunch, full crunch, normal crunches)
- sit-ups (in the fitness gram pace test, not to brag but I fûçkin won for those so 😎 LMAOO)
- Romanian whateverthefucks Where you sit back reclining, feet on ground, knees bent, slowly bringing a weight/ kettlebell/ weighted ball left n right across the hips
- bicycles
-burpees
- planks
- mountain climbers
- leg lifts holding onto an overhead bar
- anything else on the Internet; there are infinite ab exercises guaranteed and that’s the beauty of it
So that’s pretty much an exhaustive list of all the exercises I can think of; I don’t always get to all of them because I like to prevent overtraining and getting to eating ASAP after I get a pump to build my muscles and recover as fast as possible. Plenty of food, plenty of rest rest, plenty of water, plenty of stretching does the trick my guy. I like to do yoga at night before sleeping sometimes so I’m not sore as frick the next day (sometimes doesn’t work)
Anyways I love it all. The burn, the pump, the soreness the day after ... it’s all a sign of hard work and it actually working. Consistency is your bff. I believe in you. Time for being strong bb
Best of luck for your strength journey !!!!
💖- Maya
PS: have this pic I posted on my insta ( same url as my tumblr)
11 months can do HELLA
#long post#me#my routine#flex#bodybuilder#strength#powerlifter#fitness#powerbuilding#strong women#workout routine#gym life#fitblr#self love#fbb#transformation
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Do you have any advice for writing or creating regularly? That’s hard for me and I’d like to get better at it.
it boils down to what works best for you personally tbh. i’ve got a system to write semi-regularly (or i did......restricted movement hours have kinda forced me to restructure that lol) and it works for me but that’s just how my brainyot works. i’m a routine-based creature so working writing into my routine was how i got myself to write semi-regularly.
ive also had significant Brain Junk for most of my life and was gradually able to navigate how best to create in spite of that but im also like, medicated for it and the like so self-care was a factor. i couldnt create shit while i was too busy lying in a pool of my own filth having fits of paranoia about the nature of reality so i was hardly about to make myself try and create stuff when that wasnt even on my radar.
i can share some of the things i do to keep myself writing though! like again this isn’t something that’s for sure gonna work for everybody cause everybodys wired differently but i hope some of it helps!
1. daily wordcount - i’ve mentioned this before but i have a daily wordcount that i do for my original fiction. i don’t apply the same standard to fic-writing because that risks making it an arbitrary barrier that puts too many numbers on my internal list. that being said, it’s very small. i make myself do 200 words per day. if that gets me going and writing more than that, awesome. if not, i still got a little bit done. 200 words is small, and it’s not overwhelming to catch up on if i miss a day. no matter how shitty im feeling i try to get in 200 words.
2. routine - since i’m a routine-based person by nature i basically found ways to finagle creative processes into all that. it’s not hard and fast because that kind of rigid structure makes me balk and i’m not that disciplined lol, but it’s usually something like “i have an hour-long lunch break at work and literally nothing else to do during it so i’ll write in that time period” or “i have thirty minutes of sitting by the stove making dinner so i’ll write until it’s ready”
3. momentum - or what my housemate fondly calls “The Juice.” if i have The Juice of inspiration i keep that going for as long as i can. if something’s not working for me i don’t scrap it or toss it right away. if i’m having trouble with a scene i make a note to myself and move on to a different one. example of this from my latest wip, which is part iv of mayhem
i hadnt worked out what was gonna go there and nothing was coming to me easy in the moment so i stuck the note there and kept going. my works are full of this shit. if i can’t think of a name or if there’s a statistic or a character i haven’t worked out yet i don’t wanna break my focus and momentum so i slap a note in the first draft and keep going. at a first draft stage the important thing is getting the words Out so it doesnt matter if theyre perfect. ill go back and fix them later, revise all i need to. first drafts dont need to be good, they just need to be there so i can spruce them up later.
on the flip side do not be like me and commit to this momentum so bad that you forget that you are a human being who needs to eat and consume liquids. i do that sometimes because of who i am as a person and it is a serious flaw of mine, do not be like this. sometimes getting some food in you is what you need to get The Juice flowing again and that sounds kinda gross and i am sorry
4. planning and hangups - this ones dependent on how you create. i forget where this analogy came from, but i’ve heard it said that some writers are architects who need a blueprint of where they’re going before they end up there and some writers are gardeners, who don’t need a set plan so much as they need to keep going. i’m definitely an architect - a lot of my works start out as bulletpoints of what scenes i wanna cover, what topics i wanna explore, etc. - though i have on occasion simply Written without any set destination, usually to force myself out of a creative slump. me being a big planner used to be one of the biggest barriers for me creatively because i’d spend hours agonizing over minute universe details and never start the dang story. this still happens from time to time. like heres what my organizational folder looks like wrt “pray for disaster”
that is not even all the files in there. why do i have two dictionaries. jesus. like i make these giant ass fuckin....tomes of stuff i like to keep track of, which i like to call “bibles” lol. except i could tell that getting too organized was gonna be an uphill battle with very little payoff so by the end i just made a “MISCELLANEOUS BULLSHIT” doc and for now i throw everything in there if it doesn’t fit into something like a dictionary or timeline
shit like this is why i like to just sit down and write without a clear destination in mind if i’m having writer’s block. that’s one of those things that goes hand in hand with the way i take advantage of my own momentum - if i reach a certain point where i’m just picking at details and not doing any writing i just go “ok motherfucker sit down and write shit. we will work out the details later.”
5. motivation - the ways i tend to motivate myself are weird so idk how true this is for anybody else but i’ve been writing for a pretty large part of my life. i went to college for english/creative writing and got a whole dang degree cause i still wanna make this my vocation somehow. one thing i cannot ever turn off is the writer part of my brain that’s going “oooh huh that’s not how i would’ve written that” in literally every piece of art i consume - tv, movies, books, songs, etc. sometimes that’s enough to inspire me into doing something on my own time. most of the time though if i’m feeling stumped i tend to crack open some of my personal favorite works, like books or fics that have really resonated with me, to fall in love with the art all over again. seeing the way different authors and artists do their craft helps me get in the zone of wanting to write more cause i get this nice feeling of “damn, these people really did those things with those words.....that’s fuckin amazing.....i wanna do that.”
you do risk falling into the trap of “ugh i can’t write like them though” but that’s the beauty of writing. nobody can write the way anybody else does. ofc i can’t write like terry pratchett, only terry pratchett can write like terry pratchett, and if i compare myself to terry pratchett i’m only gonna get sad and mopey. but i can write in a way thats totally unique to me so i should not try to write like terry pratchett because that’s just impeding my own creative energy in the interest of trying to cookie-cut myself into someone else’s zone. only terry pratchett can write like terry pratchett but only i can write like zero graffitibible.
i hope that was helpful? like this is all stuff that works for me so no guarantee it’ll work for everyone else.
oh right and idk how many of yall are minors because let it be known that i do not condone underage drinking; i am an adult who occasionally will get crunk because i like to write drunk and edit sober. if you too are an adult who can legally consume alcohol feel free to write while buzzed because that is a nice way to write with zero fuckin inhibitions. i dont get blackout drunk or nothing just a little buzzed and sometimes what i write makes no sense but i am at times at my most productive at 2am while mildly buzzed. its a thing.
like again i’m not really an authority on this by any means - this is just what works for me. but if it works for you too, great!! find your zone and all that
#anon#ask#z speaks#alcohol mention cw in case anybodys got that blacklisted#theres nothing as liberating as writing after having consumed 1.5 beers and feeling like a gOD#i say 1.5 but realistically its more like 1#i am a tiny person who cannot hold their liquor#and beer really is just mulled fartweed but thats all right#creating is pain and pain is living and sometimes that entails drinking mulled fartweed cause itll loosen you up enough to really Write#i dont lean on this too much btw#its just like if i happen to get buzzed ill usually go 'you know what i should totally do. write.'#it is at times incomprehensible
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Reasons I am Terezi:
My soon to be deadname sounds like Terezi.
I have an absurdly long tongue.
I look and dress like Terezi. [my hair ends up short, and when I straighten it, it always has a curve at the ends like hers. Ive always thought I look like a female version of Karkat and even tried to be more like him.] I primarily wear black t-shirts with nerdy images.
I love mysteries, solving them, and have a knack for knowing the law on an intuitive level.
I had a best fuckin friend forever that I did everything with. We called ourselves the Greythorne Sisters. I was Wither and she was Malice. [telling much?]
When I broke up with her, I.. used my very strong foresight and saw that there would be issues if we stayed friends. Karkat also encouraged me to do it and was outside when I went through with it. After I told her, she literally crumpled, and I hugged her one last time. She didnt expect it at all. ._.
I went insane with regret and self-hatred afterwards.
My ultimate crush looked, acted, and spoke [yelled] EXACTLY like Karkat.
The reason I got into Homestuck was because I was incredibly shocked at how his likeness was captured in the fan art, and even the official art. EVERYTHING is the same except he has grey-blue eyes, caucasion skin color, lacks horns. Everything else is the same. He sounds most like a more masculine version of Broadway Karkat. Very wicked and masculine voice. Extremely intimidating guy despite his size. [hes not short, just shorter than youd expect someone with a cocky personality like his.]
Karkat even called us the Scourge Sisters.
He hated Vriska. He was jealous of her as well, as anyone interested in me would have been.
I loved Karkat, more than anyone except Vriska, but my self-esteem was too low to believe he legitimately cared about me. On some level I knew he cared about me, but I was too BLIND to see it.
I didnt know I loved Vriska more than Karkat until I had already lost her. v.v
Vriska and I had a serious BDSM relationship [kismesis] after being moirails a very long time. We should have stayed moiraills. :[ It was really my fault that she acted the way she acted.
I am an empath and I can legitimately taste peoples energies.
I may as well be blind because my eyesight is useless to me without glasses.
My favorite color isnt red, its TEAL, but I have a crazy fetish for fiery guys.
Libra ascendant, which is funny because A. your ascendant was your sign in a previous life, and B. its the realm of your PERSONALITY. [Sun is about your life path and moon is about emotions. :P]
I am creepy and cute [or was when I identified as female]. I love scaring the shit out of people. >:]
I like 1337, but I refuse to type that way all the time even though quirks are awesome conceptually. I mean if I could program the computer to remember my quirk, itd be different, but that isnt a thing yet. Itd definitely spice the internet up much more. :]
I still play with plushies and whatevers at hand and draw with chalk.
I adore dragons and see myself as one because I was born in the year of the dragon. :P
I like to cosplay, and wear capes pretty often.
Dave is someone I cared about a great deal. He had a crush on me, but I saw him as a brother. Dirk is a total piece of shit and hurt Dave and Karkat and its why they have so much in common. He IS Daves bro. Dave sort of sticks up for him and Dirk has clueless followers.
Gamzee was a best friend of mine like Dave and we technically had a kismisitude relationship. Gamzee told me Karkat was his best friend but I didnt know it was mutual. He was very upset that Gamzee and I were kinda together.
One night I was sitting at the end of Vriskas bed, thinking she was asleep, and trying not to wake her up with blowing my nose. She was awake and spooked and said she thought I was cackling like a maniac at the end of the bed like a creep. I thought it was pretty much a good assessment.
Another time she told me that while I was asleep, she saw an *evil* me with a sharp toothed grin and grey skin. It didnt seem improbable to me.
John is my biological brother. Hes a Virgo sun, and hes a nerd. :] Hes the only person beside my dad and aunt I talk to. [lots of friends I have, lol.]
Rose is a c*nt but I was fascinated with her for some reason. Rose hates Homestuck because of the fanbase. [lolll]
Kanaya is her sister, not gf/wife. Shes cool, and a reasonable person and was a friend, but we didnt talk much. I dont know why really.. x.x
Aradia was my best friend before Vriska. She and Sollux are married. I had a crush on her hsband and it was awkward.
Equius is an ex. Longest relationship Ive been in was with him.
Eridan is as much of a insufferable asshat as he is in the series, but not good looking in the slightest. He can be.. surprisingly insightful at times. None of us like him, even us INFPs. [Dave and I.]
I see Aranea as my mother. Talks non-stop, ruins lives.. but I used to look up to her.
Calliope was a fellow dragon lover friend that Dave introduced me to. Her handle was Celestial Serpent and she is even more asexual than I am. :]
My friends saw my and Karkats connection as being more like Karkats and Nepetas. He treated me like I was autistic and mostly ignored me. Probably until I confessed to him, and then after I went crazy because I had lost Vriska, and hoped that I could rely on him to be there for me. but despite all that bravado cockiness of his, hes a total wimp. ._.] Karkat and I had a ridiculously brief unspoken relationship that was only through telepathic communication and I got beyond frustrated and kissed a woman, and it was over like that. No one knows about this but us. Its another thing that I have ruminated on and hated myself for and deeply regretted.
I envy gamer girls who are actually good at games and wish I could be more confident and popular. v.v; [Latula]
I had a character on Gaiaonline with the Chucku Norisu scarf and the winged staff item and people drew freebie art of it for me, and when I looked at my pictures after learning about Homestuck it was pretty crazy.
Vriska [best artist I know] drew a character that looked a lot like Terezi that I had liked a lot.
I was very isolated when I was young. Neglected by my parents for the most part and felt too different from other humans. I always wanted a tree house and bulit my own club house that I hung out in as a kid.
My friends pretty much unfairly looked down on and even despised Vriska except Gamzee.
I love the taste and sight of blood. [Im a sadist.]
Dave made a proposition that he, me and Karkat be in a poly relationship and I turned it down. [I did not want to share Karkles with ANYONE. I know in the comic Dave actually disliked the idea, but the poly thing came up with the three of us. I dont know if Karkat was cool with it or not because he always used Dave as our go-between, but if Dave made the offer it must have been Karkat approved. Asshole. -.-]
Karkat and Dave live together and are more than likely morails. Karkat isnt attracted to Dave, but Dave has said he is attracted to Karkat.
I had a dragon umbrella that looked like a cane that I loved a lot.
Karkat is pretty much the unofficial group leader, or at least he was in my opinion. I could see Sollux saying Id make a better leader, though, because Im more clear-headed and calm about things and people from that group respected me [more than I was aware of].
We are all connected somehow.. but the main group consisted of Dave, Gamzee, Rose, Kanaya, me [Terezi], Karkat, and a few people I didnt see as characters from Homestuck. Vriska was not allowed to hang out with us at first. When she finally got her freedom [with my help] she wouldnt hang with the group, and they saw her as taking me away from them. They thought she treated me poorly, but she really didnt. -.- [Vriska did nothing wrong, theyre all just jerks.]
I dont hang out or talk to any of them anymore except John. Im always finding myself reminiscing and I really just wish I could forget I ever met them so I could start over fresh.
I have a spirit guide that is a DRAGON and teaches me anything Id like to know, especially in esoteric matters. His name is Shadowfall Ryu. Ryu is Japanese for Dragon. [lusus] and I agonize that I dont know him irl. Everyone knows about him. I have drawn so much art of him and talked about him so much. He is my ideal self. [i know the lusus in the comics is female, but whatever. Its still interesting.]
I collect dragon stuff, including plushies. I still play with them and wish others would play with me.
List goes on and on.
I cant make this stuff up.
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1-30 can i just have your opinion on all of them please
KDHSKHFKFB whoever u are anon ur actually my only follower ever
1. are you of the “tom nook is a crook” or “tom nook is an honest businessman” opinion ?
HES AN HONEST BUSINESSMAN !!! ur loans have NO interest and he was handing out 100k interest/month for a good while there !!!!! the only reason it dropped to 10k is b/c i accidentally made a mil while tryna get dreamies ok. the whole "nook inc owns the entire island" thing is KINDA WEIRD but like ! i mean. its still a pretty sweet deal
2. do you play as yourself or a made up character ?
i play as me !! and then everyone tells me my character is cute which ROCKS
3. where is your house located ?
well CURRENTLY. its just at the center of the island. but once i get terraforming (which will be as soon as i get lolly, mitzi, and purrl) it will be on its own little island in the middle of the island
4. who were your first villagers ?
hamlet and renee ! and bea and agent s and broccolo. oh and quillson. theyre all gone now but i moved bea into a friends island so i can visit her later !!
5. preferable method of earning bells ?
turnip runs babey !!! srsly i will pay like 500k tips and make a million in PROFIT (per run !!) its fucking awesome. i never use turnip exchange tho that shit website always stops telling me where i am in the queue
6. what villager personalities do you typically get along best with ?
i love all of them. so much. normal and lazy villagers might take the cake, but ankha was on my island for 2 days and nearly stole my heart, so snooty villagers r up there too. smug villagers ? like i mostly have experience w raymond b/c i fucking HATED quillson and keaton n ed i barely paid attention to (ed gets points tho. he shares my bday) but that goddamn nerd has a war with slugs. we love to see it. peppy villagers rock (i have THREE on my island rn... but ugh i gotta kick out merry sometime..... i love her but i just !! have too many). i CANNOT hate jock villagers those guys just wanna work out !!! and talk abt working out !!!! theyve done nothing wrong in their whole lives. uchi villagers are great too and cranky villagers r trying their best !!! every villager is good is what im saying. even quillson (i guess)
7. who is your current best friend in the game ?
MGHGSHGD felicity or raymond !!! they send me mail all the time and also i really like raymond. b/c hes such a fucking NERD of an accountant. and felicity was the first of my dreamies to move in so im 💚 when it comes to her...... SOMEDAY. lolly will also be my bff. lolly come home
8. is there a villager you want to get rid of ?
MERRY WHITNEY VELMA. PLEASE GO AWAY. U R ALL SWEETIES BUT NONE OF U MADE THE CUT. ONLY ONE OF U IS EVEN A CAT. (if you want whitney or velma pls dm me !!! someone asked for merry already but id love for them to be on islands where ppl love em)
9. do you hoard a lot of items ?
YES. i did a purge the other day and laid a fuckton of items out to give away. it did not fit and i had to shove some on the cliffs. i still have a big pile waiting to be taken. meanwhile my storage gets new items added
10. take medicine or save & restart ?
medicine is for chumps.
11. where is your favorite spot in your village ?
HMMMM i rlly like my entrance !!!! its rlly neat and has green AND pink mums + trees..... and fencing and a path. IDK i worked hard on it and think it turned out rlly well !!!! other than that maybe my shopping area ? i dont have terraforming yet so theres a lot i Havent Gotten To wrt my island (like my cliffs are almost entirely undeveloped b/c i havent placed any inclines. so theres no pathing)
12. what achievement do you want to hit the most ? (ex: golden equipment, all fish / bugs, etc)
its not REALLY an achievement but i want all my dreamies real bad. after that i want a 5 star island !! i would like a lily of the valley. or 20.
13. do you know any secret tips ?
HMMM i dont think so ?? i dont really know any secrets. ive been trying out campsite cycling and it has Not been going well tho. if u need tips on tting to move villagers out or smthn i can help w that !! this is such a vague q that im like DO i know smthn ??? that is a secret ?????? i also vaguely know abt *m**b* sp**f*ng but im not allowed to do that soooo. thats a pipe dream. fun fact: its not a secret but gardening is SO fucking complicated theres genetics n shit. its wild. thank god someone straight up gave me blue roses so i dont have to go thru that shit. also do not tt backwards when dealing with turnips. not even 30 mins to save ur 600+ prices frm closing time. They Will Change
14. who are your dreamies ?
THESE CATS (i know major shocker from tumblr user pumakittycat. app is acnh life)
15. favorite furniture item ?
HMMMM THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. maybe mum cushions ? those r cute as fuck. i love every flower item, honestly, frm garden wagons to flower stands to pansy tables to hycanith lamps to. idk the bonsai shelf ? i have one of those. i also love my sea globe. its great. WAIT DO RUGS AND WALLS/FLOORS COUNT THERES NO QUESTIONS ABT THOSE i love so many FUCKING items. also autumn woods wall, if ur out there,
16. favorite clothing item / outfit ?
my green clover dress !!!! its the best thing EVER. my full outfit also consists of a silver tiara, a cherry blossom pouchette, white fishnets, and green rubbertoed sneakers. and, ofc, clover facepaint. ALSO FOR CONTEXT. my island is named clover bay thats why im like Clover Time. Theyre Important To The Aesthetic. im also an aro bitch who loves overall dresses. b/c they slap
17. favorite museum room ?
I LOVE THE LITTLE BUTTERFLY ROOM do not even TALK to me unless ur the butterfly room in the museum THERES SO MANY AT ALL TIMES ITS SO NICE
18. cedar, fruit, or palm tree ?
FRUIT. i literally chopped down every single hardwood tree on my island and replaced them w orange trees
19. favorite fruit ?
.......Oranges
20. favorite fish ?
HM. bitterling has a special place in my heart for being my Only fish model. whale sharks also rock tho. and thats only of the ones ive caught !!! i also love frogs, turtles, and obligatorily catfish. oh and seahorses and bettas
21. favorite bug ?
HM. ladybugs maybe. and both birdwings ! maybe also emperors butterflies. possibly others as well
22. favorite flower breed ?
MUMS !!!!!
23. favorite crossbred rare flower breed + color ?
GREEN MUMS.
24. favorite villager personality ?
havent we been over this ? im a dumb bitch who likes all of them way too much
25. favorite time of day to play ?
i uh. play. all the time. i tt a Lot tho so i like setting my time to 1pm ? idk it Feels like a good time
26. favorite special visitor event or reward ? (ex: selecting an art piece from redd, aiding guliver and getting a special item, etc)
SAHARAH. im obsessed w the fucking rugs and the tickets and the lottery. i also love celeste, and gulliver has a spot on the faves list for providing lucky cats sometimes (also a fave item) and for having been to space
27. favorite kk song ?
call me basic, but bubblegum kk plays at all times in my living room
28. favorite animal crossing game ?
ACNH lmao. i never really sat down and got Dedicated to city folk, which is the only other game ive played
29. if you’ve played animal crossing before, are there any animals you’re nostalgic for ? if this is your first game, has any animal in particular left some effect on you ?
ROVERRRRR come home :( also harriet.... i Miss Her. and resetti (i REFUSE to use rescue services dont @ me). and also the bus driver guy who took u to the city. If You Were An NPC In City Folk I Miss You Now
30. share a story from your gameplay
SO. i love the little alien easter egg. i set up a photoshoot and made like a little storyline abt the aliens and stuff. i even got a flying saucer and put that down and used it. and every fucking time !!!! i do shit with aliens !!!!!!! gulliver shows up on my beach. i know he went to space in cf n stuff (I GOT FLAVOR TEXT ONE TIME-- DURING NH-- ABT HIM NOT WANTING TO GO BACK EVEN) so i think its fucking hilarious that the aliens show up.... so does he
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You're radical! also bonus writing prompt: june and dave discussing plans for a karkat surprise party
thanks! youre radical too!
im not much of a writer but maybe i can try? gonna write it as a log because it’s what im most comfortable with lol
putting it under a readmore because dave tends to make things long uwu
JUNE: are you sure he’s going to like it?
DAVE: i swear if you ask this one more time im gonna kill you
DAVE: and then youll be dead and i wont have a best friend anymore
DAVE: ill be forever haunted by the murder i committed and i wont even get jailtime because were all gods and standards laws dont apply to us
DAVE: which is fucked up by the way
DAVE: wait youd probably come back to life so forget about it
DAVE: all of this to say yes for the 100th time im sure hes gonna love a surprise party, come on are you saying i dont know my BOYFRIEND or something?
JUNE: wow.
DAVE: what?
JUNE: that’s the first time i’ve heard you call him your boyfriend ahah.
JUNE: anyway i was talking about the confetti, i don’t think that’s a very karkat thing i guess?
DAVE: of course its not a very karkat thing theyre ironic confetti
JUNE: what’s the difference between regular confetti and ironic confetti?
DAVE: regular confetti is lame
DAVE: ironic confetti is awesome
JUNE: i don’t get it.
DAVE: point is no karkat will not like them but its a fun touch
JUNE: okay i guess i can get behind that, confetti are super fun.
DAVE: you really dont get it
JUNE: i really don’t!
JUNE: but what ever, let’s move on, do we need a cake or something?
DAVE: no its ok im already on it
DAVE: figured hed prefer one of the weird troll cakes for his bday
DAVE: you know how hes like with human food
DAVE: and since janes invited the human food part of it all is basically already taken care of so we dont need to worry bout that either
JUNE: i’m honestly impressed at how good you are at planning this.
JUNE: do i even need to be here?
DAVE: of course you need to be here whats a man supposed to plan without his best friend?
DAVE: nothing thats what a mans supposed to plan without his best friend
DAVE: plans dont get made without your best friend around to hear them thats just rude and im no rude boy no maam that aint me
JUNE: ahah, thanks dude.
JUNE: so we have the invitations, the cake, the ironic confetti, i’m guessing you’re going to make the music?
DAVE: hell yeah im gonna make the music
JUNE: and you’re sure there’s no way he’s going to catch us?
DAVE: yeah im sure leave it to my man to forget his own birthday every single year
DAVE: to be fair i think hes just not used to the human calendar
DAVE: time is super arbitrary anyway like how we count it doesnt matter what matters is this is an excuse to party
DAVE: everybody likes an excuse to party
JUNE: then i guess we’re done! we just need to go buy all that stuff for tonight.
DAVE: dont stick too closely to the list we dont wanna stifle our creativity now ok
DAVE: oh shit the store closes in like 30 minutes fuck we need to go now
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im gonna hit u with the trinity...jayroy, jayconnor, jaykyle
HHOOOOOOOO boy. lets go
jayroy
who wakes up first in the morning: jason does and he likes the quiet of it when he can hear roy’s breathing and just. recenter. especially if the night before was long or restless
who’s the first to fall asleep at night: jason dozes a lot in the night but is also really easy to wake, when they actually go to bed roy can usually pass out once hishead hits the pillow
what they playfully tease each other over: god EVERYTHING. their families. their clothes. “you used that gun?” “oh im sorry i didnt know the archer was now the pistol police”. etc etc
what they do when the other’s having a bad day: roy is very touchy and while jason isnt so much whenever theyre feeling down they just like to be close to each other. legs linked while they sit on the couch together, hands caressing the backs of each others necks, arms always brushing because theyre standing too close. physical comfort is a major aspect of their relationship after each having struggled with it for so long and learning it can be a good thing together.
how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments: jason is really stubborn but when it comes to these two hes usually the first to apologise. it will be a short apology and he’ll never acknowledge why they fought but roy will always accept his apology once theyve both cooled off
which one’s more ticklish: jason. roy found this out when he gave jason’s knee a horsebite and wound up with a blood nose
their favourite rainy day activities: roy makes jason watch bad tv shows he missed while growing up, cleaning their weapons, just... being alive
how they surprise each other: they don’t really surprise each other much? theyre so intune with each other from working together that they can usually predict or understand what the other is up to. sometimes roy will come home with a classic version of a book jason likes or sometimes jason will wear a shirt of roy’s he called ugly, but nothing major.
their most sickening shows of public affection: [headline reading: RED HOOD AND ARSENAL CAUGHT MAKING OUT ON ROOFTOP IN GOTHAM - EXCLUSIVE PICS]
jayconnor
who wakes up first in the morning: connor is the only person jason knows who wakes before him. he still hasnt figured out how its possible, but it is nice to wake up to coffee thats already been made for him
who’s the first to fall asleep at night: also connor, but his bedtime is like 9pm
what they playfully tease each other over: jason always gives connor shit about his green arrow outfit, connor always gives jason shit about... anything. also bruce and ollie get a lot of shit from the both of them once they really get going.
what they do when the other’s having a bad day: connor knows that jason always needs someone to listen to him, because usually his frustration over the little things actually has a lot to do with something bigger. hes good at digging within a conversation to find what that is. if connor is feeling down, jason knows to take him to the take out place across town that reminds him of his favourite one in star city
how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments: connor is usually the first to cave, but only because he knows he can get jason talking about the argument after
which one’s more ticklish: connor, but only in a very few particular spots
their favourite rainy day activities: they hang out at the local conservatory and connor gets jason to list off all the stupid ways the plants could kill them from what he knows of ivy
how they surprise each other: sometimes jason like to offer connor information about what hes thinking without connor prying too much; connor likes to let jason be the big spoon every so often
their most sickening shows of public affection: some girls once found them at a park in star city while they were going on a not-really-a-date-but-a-date and asked connor for pics, unfortunately jason happened to be plastered to his side and holding his hand in the photos later uploaded to instagram. its how ollie found out that his son was dating the red hood and he had an aneurysm nearly. bruce thought it was awesome.
jaykyle
who wakes up first in the morning: kyle always wakes way too early, so goes back to sleep. jason is always the first to actually get up
who’s the first to fall asleep at night: jason. kyle’s so used to the night sky it’s hard for him to get to sleep most nights
what they playfully tease each other over: kyle found out about jason’s brief interlude with the robin suit with shorts, and also found out that there were photos. he has copies. jason just teases kyle about the fact that he had no real choice in bruce being his dumbass dad - whats kyle’s excuse for his relationship with hal?
what they do when the other’s having a bad day: kyle flies them to the santa monica pier for them to sit there for a few hours. kyle always misses the beach, and jason likes how the scene is so different from gotham
how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments: unless its a really major argument they generally tend to just... take a few, then move on with their days
which one’s more ticklish: jason. he’ll deny it though
their favourite rainy day activities: “wanna go annoy bruce with stories about the lanterns” “if he tries to kill me i’d like to know you’d take my side.” “....sure”
how they surprise each other: “babe i just drank your art water. again. can you stop using the nice mugs for it” “oh dont worry i bought nicer nice mugs instead. won’t happen again” (it does happen again. jason absolutely loses it with him)
their most sickening shows of public affection:
kyle: [constructs a boquet of flowers]jason: put that away thats disgustingkyle: :( okayjason: wait no i wasnt serious i love them. just dont let anyone else see
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on hole
ok so this posts been a long time a comin’ but i finally feel like im drunk enough to talk about (and never shut the fuck up about) one of my favorite bands... Hole
hole’s music has meant a lot to me since i picked up Live Through This at some boring ass used cd store that also happened to sell erotic fantasy novels about good fathers. but anyway. holes music is for women with bad fathers. women who are kind of fucked up and angry about it, too. women who have trauma and scars and are kinda gross. women who were wronged but somehow by the grace of god empowered in the face of their horrible experiences.
or at least it feels like that, dont it?
that was the main appeal of hole to me, anyway. i fell in love with this album around the second or third listen through. i was like, damn, shes pissed. it was so refreshing to hear a woman just screaming out her frustrations. how cathartic must it have been to be able to not only get it out, but also be taken somewhat seriously? of course hole never got the recognition they deserved. im of the unpopular opinion that they were waayyyy better than nirvana. without sounding kinda sappy... you know what fuck it im not apologizing to any of u. hole totally made me embrace womanhood. it influenced my own, much beloved way to just exist.
but also i guess i just really love tunes.
ps im not here for the courtney killed kurt debate lmfao!!
ok so heres the part where i write my onions about their four studio albums
Pretty On the Inside
their first album and admittedly, my least favorite (that doesnt say much because i still really enjoy it). its sound is much more abrasive. love employs her most guttural screams in this one, but ill get to that. to its credit, its the most experimental but many interpret it as amateur guitar screeches and song bits just hashed together. and maybe theyre right! but what band doesnt have that not-quite-there-yet first album? its an unrefined, beautiful mess. A song title or two is spelled wrong. Garbadge man is one that comes to mind. and for some reason, its just... fitting. its an artistic mistake left in and its so dumb but thats the fun in it! thats the punk in it! they dont give a fuck so why should you? this album is a messy bitch.
track im gonna nut about: mrs. jones
this song is apparently about a back alley abortion, and its just as brutal. love is screaming, just guttural sounds and expletives and nauseating lyrics. when i first heard it, i was absolutely entranced in the atrocity of it all. shes sweating, panting. i will follow you down the sick drain
other favorite tracks: teenage whore, good sister bad sister, pretty on the inside
Live Through This
their most popular album also happens to be my favorite! the start of it all...
i havent shut up about this album since day one because i just like it so much! she refines her skills and just comes out with a successful album that ties an array of horrible themes and wraps them up in a pretty pink bow. its soft aesthetic covers the dark, sickening themes that make the album. rape, anorexia, self harm, self hatred, violence, abuse... the list goes on. someone i one knew asked me why women with bipolar disorder and bpd love hole so much and i had to bite my tongue but to be brutally honest we probably like it because love had the nuts to scream about taboo themes that are so hurtfully common in our lives. just like how the depressed rally behind the smiths. oh that and the musics awesome. but anyway, the cover is a beauty queen the moment shes crowned. its supposed to represent someone who has fought, clawed, and fucked her way to the top. but look! shes the queen! shes the beauty queen! everyone will finally love her and treat her with respect! and all she had to do was sell her soul. all she had to do was get abused over and over to the point of breakdown. but she made it, didnt she? i mean, look how pretty the crown is!
favorite track im not gonna shut up about: i think i would die
im gonna be super lazy and just copy and paste what i wrote up one time when i talked about this song before:
wait nevermind i cant search for my post through my tag because tumblr is broken. something about breastmilk? ill update once i find it lmao.
other favorite tracks: violet, softer softest, miss world
Celebrity Skin
i dont have as many onions on this one. supposedly, love didnt want this album to become ‘the widow album’, but theres a song or two about kurt’s death snuck in there. this albums loud, but not nearly as angry as the first two. in fact, when shes not singing catchy pop tunes about how jaded she is, shes being sincere and heartfelt. all in all, its a fantastic album and my second favorite that hole has to offer.
favorite track of the album: heaven tonight
ive heard two stories about what this songs supposedly about. on one hand, people say its about two lovers. the girl wants to lose her virginity to the guy, so she drives (recklessly) to his house and dies in an accident. she’ll never grow old, she’ll go to heaven tonight. on the other hand, i heard that love just wanted a fun song to sing to her daughter, frances bean. either way, it makes me want to dance. so idk if its about teenagers fucking or about a little girl who just needed a song, but its cool.
other favorite tracks: awful, celebrity skin, reasons to be beautiful
Nobody’s Daughter
years later, hole released their final album. when i first heard it, i was disappointed. the first track was great, but then.... i noticed her voice had deteriorated significantly due to her smoking and other vocal abuse. and i thought, damn, i really wish she released this when she was younger. she sounds normal when she screams, but i guess to compensate when singing softer parts, she does this kind of weird weird thing when enunciating that... ok i cant pinpoint or describe what exactly it is but it kinda sucks. ‘honey’ is the only hole song that i dont like very much, and its the best song to use as an example when trying to explain how her voice got all fucked. now, we cant all be bowie (whose singing voice only got better after years of smoking). but still.
anyways, i listened to the album again, and i mean really listened to it. and actually! the smoker voice is the beauty of it! its a woman who is past jaded and past giving fucks about anyone or anything. its songs from a woman of experience. and she still sounds badass! her voice is so rough, she sounds like she could still fuck anyone up. its exciting.
favorite track to get all sappy about: letter to god
i really found an appreciation for this song. this is a song about someone who cant be saved. and isnt that fucked up? youre so bad, so hated by all of those around you, but no one can hate you as much as yourself. and you try everything to pick yourself up but just nothing works. and everyone has their two cents in what they think will help you. but youve tried every med in the book and youve tried this and that and the other thing, and you come to the conclusion that you just cant be saved. youre drowning. so what do you do? you turn to god, a supernatural all-mighty being. but shit, i hope he can help you. because if he doesnt, fucking nothing ever will. so go write him that letter.
i never wanted to be the person you see
other favorite tracks: nobodys daughter, skinny little bitch
and thats what i have to say about that!
#hole#courtney love#long post#goddamn this took forever to write lol i just had a lot to say#and still have more but ill shut up... for now.#im not actually drunk but i wrote this post last night at like 1 am#well i was drunk but not christmas morning damn
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If ye don’t mind me asking, what’s Kin mean? I’ve looked around on the internet and the definitions don’t seem to fit how i see em used..
it’s kind of like… well, it varies from person to person (and it even varies among my alters ghjfdkhgd;;)
the most prominent kind you see about on tumblr nowadays is fictionkin, where people identify as a fictional character– like, basically having a response of looking at an image of them and having the same “that’s me!” response as if they were looking at themself. this can because of feeling like they were that character in a past life, or that character is an alternate universe version of themself, or identifying with them because of similarities in trauma or mental illlness, or because they’re just a lot like that character in general, or… just because!
the strength of it can range from “this is literally me and i remember things from their canon as if they actually happened to me” to “i like representing myself with this character”. if someone has multiple kintypes (characters they ID as), they can have various kins on any end of this scale.
for me, mathonwy is a coping kin– i identify as him because of mental illness stuff, and i started drawing myself with a variant on his mask and it kinda stuck as an element of some of my personas. i also like presenting myself as him by using icons and having a url based off his name, because it makes me feel better? kind of hard to explain.
lal, meanwhile, is someone i draw a lot of parallels between myself and him, and project a lot of myself onto him and it kind of led to this weird… thing. (and bc this can be a concern in mc storytelling stuff, this is specifically lal the character. some ppl can mistake it as “wait so you mean the person behind the character?” if its a rp thing and my answer is “no, absolutely not”)
one of my alters, Pat, is a fictive of an obscure character– meaning that kir system origins are “there is a version of this character that lives in my head”, basically, and for kir the explanation behind it is trauma & coping with events in my life that were happening at the time i got into kir source media and i got attached enough to the character to help me work through what was happening to me that my brain kinda. made kir. but that’s an entirely different thing and is system-exclusive, and on top of that kie has “typical” kintypes as well! like Tails. kie’s the sort that has “remembers canon events as if actual memories”, which can actually be kind of rough on kir when kie gets things scrambled up between “wait did this actually happen, or is this weird memory stuff”
…and then there’s Cazwell, who also has memory recall but it’s never anything important or relevant to any questions she gets asked about it.
HOWEVER all of this is about fictionkin, which is actually a comparatively new thing! like, ive been on tumblr for way too many years, and fictionkin in current tumblr… society, i guess, has only been a thing since like 2015. not as in that fictionkin only started Existing in 2015, but that previously it was only a tiny fringe subsection of a much bigger community: otherkin! or therians, or nonhumans, or however they feel like calling themselves depending on situation. it’s basically the above, except swap “fictional characters” with “animals, fantasy creatures, or anything nonhuman”. this can also be because of past life/spirituality, alternate universe, coping, or just relating really hard. ica’s a gryphon!
it’s kinda weird to us to see the sudden shift to fictionkin being a) very widespread and b) actually more wellknown than otherkin? bc when we first got involved in the community in, like, 2011, fictionkin as a term didn’t EXIST. they were labelled as “fictives” despite that being a system-exclusive term, and there were actually a lot of arguments over it, if it was even a legitimate identity, etc.
something to keep in mind with all of this is that kins, fictives, etc Know theyre not “physically” what they identify as. as awesome as it would be to be lal irl (i’d be like a solid foot taller! holy shit!) im not, i just like using icons of him on the internet and drawing myself as him (…this is actually where digger came from.) and while sometimes we make jokes like “we’re [character/animal/etc] irl” its a “this is pretty much Me” thing while still knowing its just… not.
its okay if you dont “get it”, just like.. be respectful if it comes up? like, dont make fun of people, because it can often be very personal to them. i know it can sound ridiculous, like with the whole komaeda kin thing (some kintypes get… reputations… if theyre from a popular media that a lot of people find connections with, especially among teenagers figuring out their identity and potentially using kintypes to help build it), but i kinda just consider it a fun fact about me. like, for me, i see my fictionkin thing as a list of characters you can learn about and learn more about me as a result, because i identify as them for personal reasons.
#leo chirps#leos reply#long post /#VERY LONG OH GOD SORRY i got carried away#system shit#Anonymous#ask
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