#shit my dm says

[rpgnonsense]

Player Discretion

DM - "Oh I forgot to use this one action, can I retroactively do it?"

Players - "We'll allow it."

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #shit my players say #dnd 5e #shit my dm says #d&d #d&d 5e

[maniwakpa]

Shit my DM says:

"so you're gonna have to roll for spiders eventually but we'll come back to that"

#shit my DM says

[nerdymusician19]

“Let’s hope I don’t kill (Yoralith) today and kill someone else’s (PC) instead.” -My DM half an hour before session

#dnd #dnd campaign #dnd quotes #dnd quote #dnd stories #dnd shenanigans #shit my dm says #dungeon master #dungeon master quotes #dnd dm

[fouroclockwren]

“The trauma is the happy meal toy that you guys give to every NPC you meet”

#shit my dm says #dnd #dnd quote

[beauty-and-the-ratswarm]

“Well little rat mama…seeing as you got me dry, what if I got you a little…moist?”

#dnd #my art #dnd art #dungeons and drawings #dnd art prompt #art #tiefling #romance #look my DM said this and it BROKE ME #shit my dm says #implied sex #implications #yes they do have sexytimes later

[godsandcrows]

monk, eyeing a trio of yuan-ti pirates: do we get the sense they could eat a child? dm: they could deepthroat a boy.

#okay but why did you have to say it like that #lmaooooo #dungeons and dragons #shit my dm says

[yourplayersaidwhat]

DM (me): as soon as you cross the boundary of the gate, you are unnaturally silenced and cannot make a sound.

Warlock: *in ASL* fuck you!

DM: *also in ASL* eat shit and die

Warlock: *mouthing* hey I taught you that! You can't use it against me!

#shit my players say #rpg #submission #shareable #dnd #don't mess with the dm

[potatogoblin]

My friend got a 4 AM text from his DM that just said “We need to talk.”

Little backstory about my friend and his DM. He has to wake up for work at 4 AM. She (the DM) goes to sleep at 4 AM.

My friend replied to the text, kinda panicked because they’re friends IRL and there was zero context. She didn’t reply. He went to work and was anxious all day.

She didn’t reply to his text for TWELVE (12) HOURS. When she finally replied, she was like “oh, it wasn’t urgent. I don’t even have the info to talk about.” He was (reasonably) a lil frustrated when he found that out.

Moral of the story? Don’t text people that you need to talk in the middle of the night when it isn’t urgent. Also, don’t say that you need to talk when you don’t have the ability to talk about the thing.

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #shit my dm says #wtf dm #dude why

[notahorseindisguise]

I'm so sorry you're hurting yourself like this. You're clearly an autistic young woman. I hope you get the help you need ❤️

thank you so much!! i really needed this encouragement. it means so much to hear you call me a woman, especially since im a cisgender male.

i will get the help i need! ill look into hormone replacement therapy and become the beautiful autistic young woman you see inside me!!

#corntent #i cant. i cant breathe oh my gosh #this is so funny #a terf found my acct ig #and im assuming they saw my face from the video i posted earlier today with my really fluffy hair?? #and ig they assumed i was afab and a trans guy #holy shit im gonna cry #this is such a major compliment ?!?!?! #i cant even tell what ur trying to say #so you think. i dont. pass. as a guy? #im too feminine to be a guy so i must be a transguy says the terf #also #i did in fact interact with a terf earlier today #only one #i liked one of their posts (by accident. i only realised i liked it looking at the acct who i think sent me this) #and im sure its them. theres nobody else it could be #idk why im not naming and shaming. @terven i know this was you #open your asks or your dms or something i want. i wanna know what u was thinking here LKJDSAFAS

[avephelis]

every time someone mischaracterises jay ferin as the therapist friend a fairy loses its wings btw. put some respect on her emotionally-constipated ass.

#there's a whole ongoing bit where she either a. forces chip to do feelings talks for her or b. says the most awkward shit ever #like someone opens up to her she's like “wow that was a lot. anyway.” #jay “well i'm just a girl so” ferin. jay the answer is gun ferin. #i get this is a common issue with fandom treatment of female characters but COME THE FUCK ON. IT'S A CANON CHARACTER TRAIT. #and it adds so much depth to the times she DOES try to help or comfort people like in 81/82 where she goes up to chip about gill like #“i'm kind of shit at this emotional stuff but i'm going to do my best for you damnit”. AND SHE FUCKING TRIES. BECAUSE SHE LOVES THEM. #also her getting tipsy and spewing the most insane shit and going teehee ^_^ was that awkward sorry ^_^ and falling over. so fucking funny. #jay ferin #jrwi #im so normal about these fictional characters <- lie #i talk about this all the time in my dms im finally making a post about it I CANT STAND IT ANYMOREE

[caseythebunnyboy]

kinda specific thing im in to but i want to have sex with a nerdy passionate person so bad 😵‍💫 while they talk about their favorite game i just keep saying "uh huh" as i reach to unzip their pants, because i got so needy once i saw how their face lit up while they were talking about their game 💜 id start riding them in their gaming chair because they just looked so happy while telling me about a cool character they got a few minutes ago, how could i not instantly mount their lap? maybe id put on their favorite show just to watch them explain every little detail from memory, and then give them a blowjob immediately after while its playing in the background 😊 (he/him, im a guy)

#casey ★ mumbling #nerdy people dm me and ill send u photos of my ussy challenge #geeky people (extremely affectionate and extremely horny) #maybe the reason i like nerdy people is because i AM the nerdy people #(still watches cartoons when hes 18)(likes mha)(likes aot)(likes jojo)(favorite animal is a shark)(named myself after a cartoon character) #theres so much more nerdy shit i do but if i say it all i wont be able to fit my general tags so anyway #gay nsft #gay ns/fw #ftm nsft #ftm ns/fw #mlm nsft #mlm ns/fw #queer nsft #queer ns/fw #trans nsft #trans ns/fw #mlm ftm #ftm mlm #gay ftm #ftm sub #ftm bottom #trans sub #trans bottom #t4t nsft #t4t ns/fw #ftm t4t

[rpgnonsense]

Gotta catch em all...

"These are enemies, you're supposed to kill them, not collect them. This isn't Pokemon!"

An outburst from our DM after we decided we wanted to keep a zombie as a pet instead of killing it.

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #shit my players say #dnd 5e #shit my dm says #d&d #d&d 5e

[littlelightfish]

We alredy know what's Chilchuck's worst nightmare. What if I told you that it was canon?

His daughters have alredy been eaten. His wife was eaten too. His family are all dead. His worst nightmare has come truth. And he for sure feels like it's partially his fault, because it's the Winged Lion doing, yes, but who helped Laios get here? Chilchuck. And who's daughters and wife are now dead because of it? Chilchuck's. The suggestion of recreating them tells us that they've alredy been eaten. The way he says it makes it feel like it's too late. They're dead. Because of him. Of his actions. Of his job. The irony of it all is actually quite cruel. He makes a union so he can prevent bad things to happen to his race, to his family, and then, and he works at the union. And now, because of his job, he got them all killed.

He doesn't even know how his daughters are until way later, I don't even know if in the manga they send letters to him during the feast, because I know they don't go to said feast. So Chilchuck doesn't know if his girls are alright until, again, way later. We know they don't die because, well, there's this comic of them going to meet Laios, the new king. But if not for that, who could tell us they didn't die on the monster appearances? I can imagine that after the feast Chil went stright to check on them. Because he loves his daughters, and he cares for his wife. He sucks at communicating it, yes, but he does.

He doesn't want to risk his family's safety. But he, unknowingly, unwillingly, indirectly, did. He got them eaten by those demons because he helped his friends achieve his goal. Because he cared about Falin and wanted her to be human again. Because he cared about Laios and didn'twanted to see him loose his sister. Because he cared about Marcille, Senshi and Itsuzumi. He cares so much about everyone and wants to help everyone (in his own way), that he doesn't think that the result would, inevitably so, be the worst outcome for him. The one in wich work and private life get mixed together. His job as a member of Laios's party ended dragging his family in, despite his best efforts. His job ended up, not only endangering the whole word with demons, but his family. His four precious girls. It ended up almost killing them (probably it killed them for some time because getting eaten by those demons works wierd).

Worst part? He didn't have the time to be mourn over what he 100% sure thought was the complete loss of his family. He was in a hurry to survive himself, so he pushed those sad feelings and tried his best to help who he had left. Later on he finds out that the demons spitted out people. And he seems shocked with some kind of surprised relief.

He looks how everyone that got eaten was alive. And he can't quite either believe it nor understand it. He is really confused. So they didn't die? Are my daughters ok? Is my wife ok? Did everybody survived? Are they alive? He dares to hope that they're all ok and pulls into a box his feelings again, saving it up for when he has the time to be overwhelmed about this all. He has a feast, trying not to worry, but worried sick. Then he goes home and checks on them.

Give this poor man a break and a beer...

#do not. #make him miserable #make him suffer #because #he is a father and a husband and is worried sick about his family well-being all the time #they are why he acts like he does #why he tries to keep family and work in separate rooms #but he fails so catastrophically its almost comical #like #luckily they were alright #but its a miracle his hair doesn't turn white right away #maybe he writed a letter to his daughters during the prepararions for the feast #that would explain why he doesn't have a single white hair after this #but we'll say he disnt for the sake of angst #dungeon meshi #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #chilchuck angst #dunmeshi #dunmeshi angst #dungeon meshi angst #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #if you want to write something about this #dm me the fic #i NEED TO SEE THE ANGST #@ me if you don't want to dm me but i might not see it because it would get lost in my notifs :( #my shit

[otter-pup]

so I have already been pretty quiet on here recently but uh. i kind of genuinely need to take a step back from sexual stuff for a while - nothing happened, i just think it is maybe a bit unhealthy how much of my time is taken up by Being Horny and Getting Off. like as much as those r both normal I do them too often, like. genuinely. idk when I’ll start being active again but thank u for understanding

#dm responses included in this unfortunately #like look I respect the naturalness of horniness and such. But holy shit #I’m genuinely spending multiple hrs a day. nearly every single day. just getting off. #like that’s not healthy for me #and if I admit it on here it will make it feel a little more like I actually have to commit lol #bc i was saying this this morning. and then spent multiple hours today getting off. #puppybarks #sorry for the vent in the tags im just. really frustrated w myself #and w my relationship w sex/pleasure atm #hoping I will feel better soon

[worldsneverfilled]

DM went through our character sheets and gave us new feats.

Enil now has war caster and telepathy.

She can now carry a shield without it hindering her spell casting and her ac jumped up 4 points.

God bless the DM.

#also the mepha azat thing last night had me on my end of the computer just mouthing wtf over and over and covering my mouth #like okay dm what are you up to holy fuck tf is this shit what no stop hold on wait #i was happy wiggling on my bed #a lot of good shit last night #campaign: the coming of the dark #also also the telepathy feat has raised her passive perception by three points and her wis save by i think two #id say im unstoppable with wisdom saves but i will roll nat 1s with my luck...

[dykevanny]

had a really funny idea for an ask blog ft. Vanny and another plex employee oc,,

#Get this right. 2 pizzaplex employees accidentally get tumblr famous bc someone has been leaving weird graffiti everywhere and #Getting up to other shenanigans and sends asks abt it to this one like urban exploration blog. Who later gets an ask basically like #Hey I work at the plex?? This is some insider info only another employee would know???? #The two anons are constantly back and forth in this persons inbox and are eventually assigned nicknames #‘Pix’ for the mystery vandalism employee because she shows up as nothing but weird pixels and glitches on cameras #The other employee is ‘Cam’ because they have been monitoring all this on the cameras #One day they get each others blogs and keep sending each other death threats and shit jokingly but one day pix warns cam not to go to a #Weird late staff meeting #The next night it is literally just the two of them and they think this is so funny they start a blog trying to uncover why everyone else #Just isn’t coming in. At first they are like well layoffs duhhhh #But then ppl send asks and messages like ‘hey have u seen this employee it’s my brother/friend/etc’ and they realize shit is actually going #On in here #One night cam is live-blogging their shift and sees a weird intruder in a costume with a knife and runs around eventually escaping and find #Pix lying at the bottom of a stairwell unconscious with a bloody nose later #Takes pix to the hospital. Only to be alone in the plex the next night and suddenly get a phone call saying that pix left the hospital. Bc #Pix left cam as the emergency contact because ‘she didn’t have anyone else’. #Cam has to survive the masked intruder #eventually starts recording everything but when the intruder gets closer the footage gets glitchier #Eventually there’s just one fuzzy image of the intruder with Roxy and Monty standing on either side and that’s the last we hear of cam. Nex #Post is pix saying hehe thanks for following our little story aha !! Bye now it’s over!! And that’s it…..heheheheh #Killer rab blog has become a little boring for me so… might start this soon…. #I’d have to make like 2 blogs plus some fake dms too probably . Damn