#shitposting at the speed of sound

[the-fourth-knower]

IDW!Sonic and games Eggman be like

"You could solve the world pollution crisis and world hunger with your amazing intellect!"

"Thank you, Sonic - I am the world's greatest scientist after all. But I'm not interested in solving those problems. I want to cover the world in amusement parks and statues of myself. Those other problems will just have to solve themselves."

"You can do both without ruinng everything you touch."

"You mean improve! And yes, I could."

"Could give it a try, you know."

"Yes. But also, no."

Eggman grabs and yeets Sonic Team Rocket style, then dances

#IDW Sonic #Sonic the Hedgehog #Sonic #Eggman #Dr Eggman #hell IDW Eggman would probably do the same XD #Much Egg. Very Sonc. #shitposting at the speed of sound #Knower Rambles

[faceless-dude]

Waiting patiently for my edgy adult aggy child to appear

#shitpost #scribbly scribbles #ink #opm #speed o sound sonic #one punch man

[nyaskitten]

Garmadon s4e1: Nah fam I ain't know who that orange fucker is or what her power is. Hell I ain't know most the fuckers here.

Garmadon s4e4: Nah fam that orange fucker is the Master of Amber her power is absorbing other people's powers.

#I'd ASSUME maybe he learned this during the tournament but . we only ever SEE her use fire for the first few eps #when would he have learned her power . #ninjago #raine's rambles #raine's shitposting #garmadon ninjago #ninjago garmadon #master garmadon #ALSO he claims to have met the master of sound before ??? #but we never see him fight in the war but also hes clearly not as young as the other ninja . #did he know this guy when he was a kid? #wtf garmadon #be consistent !!! #also he says griffin is the grandson of the em of speed . not son. so powers rlly CAN skip generations #take that loser who said thats not true !!!

[thesherrinfordfacility]

#good omens #good omens season 2 #i think its time to put the onion headlines posts to rest im tired #and yet the speed at which i churned this out broke the sound barrier #crowley #archangel fucking gabriel #hes just a silly gooby goober #gomens shitpost

[rocksinmuffin]

It's my personal (and very deranged) hc that K. Cold used to have a fling with Berryblue (thus making her unofficial adopted mum to Frieza) and thus I now have a hc that he has a thing for tiny old ladies lol (hide your Babas lol)

God you are so fucking right about that

That man is fucking grandmas

Wait

Bulma ‘s mom is a grandma…..

Uh oh 😈

#ask #anon #rantsinmuffin #shitposting at the speed of light #dragon ball #dbz #lol new otp #sorry if I sound weird #I’m high right now lo

[dougielombax]

The speed of light?

No.

The speed of LOBSTERS!!!!!

Aww, YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#dougie rambles #personal stuff #my poor attempt at a joke #speed #light #speed of light #or not #speed of lobsters #lobsters #lobster #wildlife #sea life #beasties #a creature #crustacean #blue lobster #what #no context #this sounded funnier in my head #shitpost

[sonteki--movedblogs]

Subtle changes 🤭

#opm #one punch man #sonic #speed o sound sonic #shitpost

[shitpostroundhouse]

Based on your likes! We are going to show this video you already liked the second time you saw it, in case you want to like it again. Why did it take you so long to like it? What's wrong? Maybe you'd better reblog it this time to make sure we show it to you again every time you look at your feed. For the next three weeks. More probably, just to make sure. Are you sure you don't want to like again right now? Because you like it so much that you keep seeing this everywhere you go. It's just meant to be. It's fate. It can never be stopped. It will never stop. I think you better reblog it a few more times so that you can see the escalator cat in your sleep and any time your eyes are closed now. Liiiiiiike meeeeee. Liiiiike the possssst againnnnnnn nnnnow.

#based on your like! #turns off xhibit feature faster than the speed of sound #shitpost #piece of shit feature post #💩📫 #creepy mf #why are you following me creep?

[superconfusedcoryn]

I impulsively bought a nerf gun and instantly shot myself in the face with it on accident

#WHY CAN'T I HAVE NICE THINGS #also these things seem super unsafe? #like sure give your kid a toy which fires weid styrofoam bullets at the speed of sound and just watch what happens #if i had one of those as a kid i would've used it on my silbligs the entire time #but seriously these things hurt like a butcheeck on a stick #shitpost

[grimm-writings]

hihi >_< could i request chilchuck x reader, maybe with reader flirting with him constantly, and then getting flustered when he actually decides to flirt back?

“what a flirt!”

…ft! chilchuck x gn! reader

…tags! fluff, suggestive comments, grimm trying so hard not to make the flirting sound cring, mention of chilchuck's wife

…wc! 698

…notes! my stupid doodle of chil with an iron is at 4203 notes at the time of writing my fic blog reputation has been squandered by the shitpost… but i finally got motivation do actually WRITE who cheered!!!! hope you enjoy and apologies for the wait!!

“Gosh, Chil, with those hands of yours you could easily please a partner!”

With his back turned away from you all you can hear from the picklock doing his job is a very deep inhale.  You can’t miss the way the tips of his ears glow red, even in the dim dungeon light.  You know there’s a ‘rule’ to not disturb the half-foot as he works but… goodness it’s just too tempting!  It’s not like there’s any harm in it!

When Chilchuck finishes his task he stands up and glares at you pointedly.  You return it with a bright smile.  “Thank you very much!” you chorus with the party oh, so politely.  The rest have partially given up on convincing you to not say or do anything while Chlichuck is busy.  He still gets the job done, at least…

Travels continue, and you find yourself trying to match a tall half-foot’s pace.  You have to slow down considerably but in your head all you can think about is how adorable Chilchuck might look if he tried to match your pace instead.

Right as you were about to drift off into fantasy, Chilchuck cleared his throat.  “You got somethin’ to say or is your head in the clouds again?”

You giggle.  “No, just thinking about how handsome you are.”  Once more, you relish in how flustered Chilchuck gets, attempting to speed walk ahead of you and start up a chat with Laios instead.

It’s so irritating.  Chilchuck can’t say or do anything without you making some kind of dumb comment!  He’s convinced even in a life or death situation you’d find some way to make him choke on his words and stumble.  You probably would let it happen if it means you can get the jump on him and humiliate him once again!

Before Chilchuck knows it he’s gritting his teeth together, his seething not going unnoticed.  Laios says quietly enough so you aren’t quite able to pick out what’s being said, “why not fight fire with fire?”

It’s an alright suggestion, sure, but that means… having to flirt back with you.  Chilchuck doesn’t know what constitutes flirting really.  His old flame used to say that he only ever honeyed her up when he’s a few drinks in.  Is that really what it will take to get you off his ass?

His question would be answered just a few hours later.  Combat isn’t Chilchuck’s forte, so once again he’s hiding behind some rock somewhere, slightly elevated off the floor.  That way he could avoid any collateral damage.

So he hoped at least.  A swing of a tail from the creature, slamming on the rock floor, proves him otherwise.  The ground collapses beneath Chilchuck and for a second he internally laments that he’s going to acquire another spot of brain damage.

But he doesn’t.  Instead, your arms easily catch underneath his knees and torso, holding him almost like a bride.  It’s you, and you look just so relieved, off guard.

Almost on instinct, Chilchuck lets the words slip.

“Looks like I fell for you.”

It’s so awful.  It’s so pathetic.  At least your pick–up lines were actually creative.  He almost wishes you’d let him break a bone or two.  Marcille’s healing might actually hurt less.

What he doesn’t expect at all is how your face deepens in colour and dusts across your face and cheeks, how your eyes widen and your jaw hangs open.  In your hold, Chilchuck feels your arms shaking.  Chilchuck only had to think for a second before realising that you seriously can’t take what you dish out.

The smug, brash grin that makes its way onto his face could infuriate anyone else, but you just feel your knees buckle.  “C’mon, be an angel and let me down, yeah?  Can’t have you dropping me, though I know my charm is irresistible.”

Funny how just a spot of encouragement can bring out this side of him.  Even as you do as you’re told with a pat on the head and, “why, thank you” being cooed at you, you know this isn’t the end of this.

Chilchuck will make sure you never forget how his words make you feel.

#✮ grimm's fics! #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #delicious in dungeon imagines #dungeon meshi imagines #chilchuck imagines #delicious in dungeon x reader #dungeon meshi x reader #chilchuck tims imagines #chilchuck tims x reader #chilchuck x reader

[moonchild-in-blue]

Hello! I'm sorry if this sounds weird, but, I'm new to the st community here (ran away from twt lol), and I'm wondering if there's any specific blogs that do specific things that I should catch onto? Like, blogs that do lyric analysis, lore chat, art etc?

I've been following you for a while, and I've been trying to interact with blogs that come up a lot, but admittedly I'm a bit lost lmao

Again, sorry if this is a weird ask, and doubly sorry if this is something you've already been asked before!

Hello anon!! Don't worry about the questions, I'm always happy to help, even if I have answered before!

We don't really have "specific blogs" around here as per se. There's @sleepanonymous who's the resident Librarian/Archivist/Knowledge Keeper, and then there are some blogs that do exclusively fanart and fanfiction.

Otherwise we're all a mix of everything. Most of us do a mix of lore theories / analysis / fanart / shitpost. Since the band itself doesn't have an "actual" set lore, you'll find a lot of different takes for the same songs / themes. I think we all have our own takes on the storyline, so it's really nice to read everyone's different opinions. Please feel free to join the conversation!

I have a tag specifically for ST lore on my pinned post, if you want to take a look at that!

@melit0n @undekaying @foundationsofdecay @lovingache @hookedhobbies @fivewholeminutes @thevenomousseprent are some lovely lovely people that do/have done lore / lyric analysis (and myself lol).

@leonsleftbicep @ghxstly-death do frequent headcanons if that's more your speed (and fantastic fanart as well). Not gonna be tagging all the ST artists cus I'd never shut up - everyone is so talented lmao.

Other general ST "heavy" blogs that you should follow (aka the people i interact with the most and can atest to how wonderful they are) - @murderofcrow @a-s-levynn @thejawsoffate @polteergeistt @eepymonstrr @takemetoasgard @sleeby-vessel @vesselsscarlet @tonguetyd @lifemod17 @littlequeenofthemangoes @channelsoph @foxgloveinspace and I know I'm forgetting a lot of blogs oof

If you browse through the main tags, and the lore tags, you'll find a lot more people and content to interact with! I know I'm forgetting a million different lovely individuals lmao, I'M SORRY GUYS. So if you see this, say hi and share your stuff!!

#my inbox and dms are open in case you need anything or whatever! #pls don't be afraid to reach out - everyone is super lovely here #i hope this helps!!! #darya answers #anon ask #sleep token

[faceless-dude]

#shitpost #scribbly scribbles #opm #one punch man #sonic #saitama #genos #speed o sound sonic #demon cyborg #caped baldy

[patronizingbitch]

Title ig, I'm not writing one🙄 (NSFW!! Smut with Leander yo. Cursing, bit of a shitpost ngl) g

Gn!reader, your bottom. You and Leander are dating btw, played around with possessive leander

You squirm in your seat in the bar, trying to hide your discomfort as you sigh and bite your lips.

'Damn you Leander, you fuckwit.'

You cruse under your breath as you feel it, the vibrating love egg, go faster inside of you, and you groan while palming your face to cover the blush spreading on your face. You glare at Leander as he sends a sly smirk your direction while he continues to serve the patrons and bloodhounds demanding drinks with a friendly smile.

Earlier (two nights ago), you two were talking about kinks and communicating about what discomforts the both of you so it could be avoided. You jokingly mention that you found the idea of 'public sex' unappealing, but it was a bit of a turn on when one of the partners teases the other with a silent vibrator in public (I didn't know how to make it make sense but i think you get the point). You didn't think he'd take you seriously, but next thing you know is that you woke up this morning and he was inserting a vibrator inside of you with a smile; telling you to stay in the bar with him and that he'd leave you unsatisfied the next time you two fucked, if you try to fuck yourself today without him knowing.

You groaned again, your leg bouncing to provide at least some sort of distraction. Leander would tease you by increasing the speed every now and then before slowing it down, giving you teasing smile every time you sent a glare his direction, he'd stick his tongue out you and give you a wink. You bite your tongue.

You try to make yourself sleep through Leander's voluntary shift, but he sees you and ups the speed two times. A moan almost escaped you, and you press your thighs together, pulling the hood of your cloak down to further cover your face. Leander walks over to you, whispering in your ear with that damn voice of his while nobody was watching. "My love, could you please focus on the pleasure my toy is giving you?" You glare at him. He chuckles and tucks your hair behind your ear. "I-...fuck. I w-would, if you weren't using the damn thing to tease me..!"

He laughs slightly and pulls back, tilting your chin to take a look at your flushed expression. His gaze moves from your eyes to your red cheeks to your lips, then back up to your eyes. He leans in again, whispering with obvious lust in his voice. "Just be patient for me, alright? I'll make it worth it for you later..." You opened your mouth to argue back, but he clicked the button on the remote and increased the speed, making you let out a soft whimper as he moved away with a smile.

you couldn't help but curse at Leander mentally, you hated him so much right now. If you didn't have an ounce of self-control, you would have slipped away to your room and fucked yourself a long time ago. A strong temptation right now, despite the fact Leander's eyes were literally glued to your every movement as if to warn you about even thinking of it.

*click, click.*

he was smirking, as if he enjoyed seeing you suffer. You wanted to wipe that shit eating grin off of his face, since all you could do right now is just hope that he would just take you to your room and fuck you until all the paint on the walls chips off. He was taking his sweet time, teasing you.

You sighed and bit your lips, resting your face on the bar table to better disguise yourself as a blacked out drunkard. You were breathing heavily, the sound of your breathing hidden with the loudness of the bar and the bloodhounds around you.

*click, click, click.*

'Leander, you piece of-' you were about to absolutely destroy this man with every curse word you have present in your vocabulary before you felt strong arms hoist you up and carry you to your room. About fucking time, you wanted to say, but you felt so desperate to finish that only moans and whimpers could escape you.

"Leander...." you breathed out as he placed you on your bed, you squirmed. He leaned down to kiss you, you pulled him closer; his knee between your legs, pressing against your core (idk if this a gn term, lmk) as you moaned. You really needed to cum, you were teased for so long you just can't take anymore teasing.

You took Leander's hand and pressed it on your core, pleasureful tears streaming down your face. "Fuck, please...please, I-..." you cut yourself off with a moan as he chuckled at your desperation.

"So needy for me, such a mess... you're so adorable when you want me so desperately." He said as he stripped you, turning you on your stomach and lifting your hips. He started at the love egg vibrating inside of your hole and pressed a finger to your entrance, causing you to gasp and squirm under him, clutching the sheets.

Leander stared in amusement and desire. watching your every move, your every twitch, even the way your body shook and trembled underneath him. It turned him on, everything you did turned him on. He couldn't believe that you were his, and he doesn't plan on letting you go any time soon. This body was his, this hole, this mouth, this person, all of it was his and his alone. He'd never share you.

"Leanderrr..." your whine snapped him out of his thoughts, he laughed and apologised for pulling away his attention from you. "Sorry baby, you're just so beautiful I got distracted." He whispered as he inserted two fingers inside of you pressing on the love egg and causing you to gasp and arch your back. He wasn't lying, he truly thought that you were beautiful, gorgeous even, when you were under him trembling and moaning because of every touch. It satiated him to no end thst he was the cause of this, but it wasn't enough.

Leander pulled out the love egg, listening to you whine at the loss, pulling you close as his hard as fuck dick pressed against your ass. His hands were on your hips, lifting your hips as he gently inserted the love egg back inside of you. He wanted to fuck you, but that could wait.

*click, click, click.* he smiled slyly as you moaned and squirmed, shoving his fingers inside of you again and pressing the love egg against your sweet spot; receiving a gaps and a high pitched, shaky moan that did something to him. Leander gently thrusted the love egg in and out of you, making sure it pressed on your sweet spot every time he thrusted it back in and waiting a couple of seconds before sliding it out.

*click, click, click.* he increased the speed until it supposedly couldn't any faster, and good lord he's never seen you moaning so loudly and shaking so helplessly. He couldn't get enough of you. He increased the pace of thrusts, ignoring your whimpers and warnings about cumming as he turned you on your back to watch you.

just before you reached your orgasm, he turned off the love egg and you pouted, this fucker just edged you. He leaned in and whispered before turning it on again and increasing the speed. "Cum for me, my love."

You came with a shiver, almost squeezing your legs together but he forced them to stay open as he watched you reach your high. So beautiful.

-------

you wake up in Leander's arms, his hand caressing your back and playing with your hair. He smiled once he noticed you shift in his embrace, "sleep well?" He asked, his tone full of love and warmth that was directed to you only. You nodded and yawned while rubbing your eyes. "Well, that's good because-" he sat up, moving you onto his lap where you felt a throbbing bulge press against your ass.

"-I have a bit of a problem."

And legends say, you couldn't walk properly for 2 weeks. RIP.

#touchstarved leander #Touchstarved leander × reader #leander x reader #touchstarved #touchstarved game

[darubyprincx]

i go between existential profound thoughts to minecraft shitposts at the speed of sound. to my followers hows the whiplash going

#ray's tag

[sonteki--movedblogs]

Task:

Hide The Booty..

…

…

FAILED

#is this a shitpost? #my art #sonic #speed o sound sonic #opm #one punch man #fanart #digital art

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@allvalley100

Prompt: Snake Oil

Pairing: Hawkmetri

Inspired by this shitpost I made forever ago XD You really can have SO much fun with the mlm abbreviation.

This is a 5-parter--500 words total!

***

“Uh…Demetri?”

Demetri pauses frantic texting. His coworker’s leaning on his cubicle wall, frowning.

“I’m on lunch, Gary.”

“I know.” Gary chuckles. “And you’ve spent it glued to your phone instead of devouring your shawarma.”

“Right, uh. Trying to get an old friend out of this MLM…situation.”

“Oh?” Gary’s frown returns.

“We haven’t talked in forever, but…I worry about him. Don’t want him mixed up in that sort of…depraved lifestyle.”

“I see.”

Gary now seems more concerned. Demetri laughs awkwardly, trying to ease the tension. “Pyramid schemes, am I right?”

“Oh, multi-level marketing!” Finally, Gary relaxes. “Thought you were being homophobic.”

*

“He’s always been impressionable. Got brainwashed by this karate cult when we were teenagers, cut me off because I said they were sketchy.”

“He what now?” Gary’s eyes widen.

“Don’t worry about it. Point is, he gets really into questionable stuff, and…he hasn’t listened to me in years.”

A pause.

“Some mean girl from junior high messaged my wife, selling Speed-Gro hair enhancer shampoo,” Gary muses. “Lady sounded pitiful. My wife vowed to free her…even if she did steal her boyfriend in 8th grade.”

Demetri brightens. “Did it work?”

“Probably not a catch-all, but…show me the conversation. We can try.”

*

5:20 p.m. Hawk: Don’t ever speak to me again, or I’ll END you. Go rot in your basement playing nerd bullshit, bitch.

7:47 p.m. Demetri: Fine. Goodbye, Eli. ✔✔ Seen 9:53 p.m., September 24, 2018 ✔✔

-----------------------------------------------

March 17, 2030

7:26 a.m. Hawk: Hey man!! Selling Kickass Karate™️ equipment—gloves, pads, nunchucks…anything!!! INCREDIBLE prices. New discounts, too!

9:41 a.m. Demetri: Hawk! It’s been too long! Why not discuss these awesome deals further over coffee? I’ll pay. You’re giving me your time AND a great opportunity!

9:50 a.m. Hawk: …like a date?

10:02 a.m. Demetri: No, no, strictly business :) Pick you up tomorrow?

*

Eli’s surprisingly pleasant on their da—er, business outing. 0 mentions of Cobra Kai.

Instead, he waxes poetic about working for Kickass Karate™️, and how they’re “totally hiring right now!” He barely notices them parking at Demetri’s apartment because Demetri “forgot his gift card.”

~~~

“The fuck? I’m not getting free coffee?!”

Traces of “Hawk” emerge when Eli finds himself locked in. Demetri accounted for this.

He thrusts a macchiato at Eli as the lights dim. “Ordered them earlier. Hope that’s still your favorite.”

A PowerPoint opener illuminates the TV.

“Demetri’s incredibly badass guide: Besting the dumb pussies scamming you.”

*

“You’ve looked better.” On Wednesday morning, Gary does a double take. “What were you doing with that PTO?!”

Demetri grins meekly, dabbing antiseptic across assorted cuts and bruises. “Eli finally listened about the pyramid scheme thing. He wanted to deal with it immediately.”

“You two…” Gary’s eyes widen. “You fought the guys scamming him? Is that even legal?!”

“Probably not.” Demetri shrugs. “But neither’s most MLM stuff, so…”

“Not true.” Gary smirks. “Not since Obergefell v. Hodges.”

“…fair point.”

“Is that why you have this Eli character openly saved in your phone as ‘Babygirl?’”

Demetri’s cheeks burn. “That’s not important!”

#allvalley100 #hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #binary boyfriends #elimetri #hawkmetri #hawkmeat #demetri x hawk #eli x demetri #demetri alexopoulos #demetri cobra kai #eli moskowitz #hawk #cobra kai #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #tagging Eli's most-brainwashed-by-a-cult seasons akshuofvgdkh #sadly the boy WOULD be very susceptible to mlm (both varieties) #we stan my man Gary in this household! He's totally straight but he's a top tier ally! #oh to only fall in love with guys who are frighteningly susceptible to karate cult recruitment tactics </3 #Gary: Why does the guy you beat up scammers with call you Babygirl #Demetri: Hey don't worry about it #also yes the implication is very much that Demetri took a whole-ass vacation day #to beat up multi-level marketing scammers with Eli #pour one out for my man Gary he probably has so many questions about how they're not both in jail #the poor man does not realize he is living in the hit karate soap opera tv show Cobra Kai universe