#shits never ending

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

#kai rambles #so like #i enjoy ships and learning about them and looking at them but like #i dont really care for warships #i dont hate them viscerally like i do cruise ships but i never really care for them #apart from the ones that were just like either ridiculously designed like the hms captain or the vasa or the novgorod #or the ones where just insane shit happened like with the william d porter #like this isnt even the extent of the porters unfortunate incidents like shr was sank by a kamikaze attack that MISSED #but somehow ended up below the ship and exploded and just like yeeted the porter out of the water #william d porter #uss william d porter #ww2 #world war 2 #world war ii #warships #again warships are really not my thing but god some of them are so fucking funny #uss iowa #fdr #franklin d. roosevelt #this suddenly got so many notes in like less than 24 hours what the fuck #shipposting

[piratespencil]

This is so funny to me. Reducing them down to their simplest attributes. Turning them into symbols.

#this is some bouba kiki shit #also!! i said this in the tags of another post but i've finally gotten to the point in my op reread where i've hit the moment #when i stopped reading op back in like 2014 #that's almost ten years ago holy shit!!!! wild #i know a lot of what happens in later arcs bc i've been keeping up with the op fandom online #but it's weird to be reading chapters that i've never read before... new and fresh op content #(i stopped reading around chapter 750 btw) #(and this is from the sbs at the end of chapter 757) #one piece #zosan #kk talks about stuff #kk talks about op

[ghostdrinkssoup]

nbc hannibal is a romcom purely because the central conflict results from hannibal not understanding his feelings for will and being a total loser about it because he’s never had a friend or been in love before which makes him act so silly and do the most insane things that will interprets being framed for murder as hannibal having something against him (as anyone would), and this series of misunderstandings is not resolved until hannibal’s ex girlfriend and former psychiatrist tells will that hannibal is so in love with him it makes him look stupid. after that will does not hesitate to break hannibal out of jail and douse himself in blood which is this show’s equivalent to the protagonist running to the airport to stop their love interest from leaving the country and marrying someone else before they’ve had the chance to confess that they’ve loved them ever since they’ve known them

#s1 from hannibal’s pov is the funniest shit ever he’s like I think I want a friend… I’ve never felt like this before… #I guess ​the only way to deal with this is to set his brain on fire #and then is shocked when will tells him the light of friendship won’t reach them for a million years #and spends the rest of the show trying to communicate how he feels without EVER SAYING ANYTHING DIRECTLY #the only way to do the miscommunication trope right #hannibal is literally just some guy and he’s so emotionally constipated he can’t even ask a guy out #zero swag and zero rizz but he still somehow gets will in the end #the show is a romcom !! #nbc hannibal #hannibal #will graham #hannigram #ghost speaks

[chappelroans]

missing someone bad for you

trista mateer / trista mateer / sue zhao / u.k / u.k / clementine von radics / trista mateer

#web weaving #webweaving #on loneliness #on grief #on missing someone #on love #quotes #poetry #text #i miss them so bad it aches! i want to cry in their lap again! i want to tell them about everything! i want the world to stop ending! #i was treated like a dog. i left on my own but i still miss the doghouse in the backyard #it wasn’t much but it was something. i should’ve taken what little i could get. i didn’t know that i would leave and get nothing instead #the decision to eat nothing instead of the scraps on the floor is insane. and now i’ve got nobody and we’ll never talk again #there’s a person with half of my soul walking around and i can’t do shit about it #i forget them for a moment but then i see them in my instagram notifs and i blow up the world

[kimbapisnotsushi]

haikyuu is cool because you go and read things like "talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish" "because people don't have wings we look for others way to fly" "today you are the defeated. what will you become tomorrow?" "we are the protagonists of the world" "and if you get really really good, someone even better will come and find you". and you read about how like. kageyama was learning to love again after it was ripped away from him and hinata was learning that he could jump high enough to become the sun itself and oikawa and ushijima and atsumu and kuroo and everyone else were all learning and trying and living with the hopes of becoming something greater than they ever could have dreamed but that something greater wasn't about winning it all it was about how they were so intricately tied that they will forever be part of the same path no matter how many times it splits and it's THE reason they are able to keep moving forward no matter what they may face. and then you're just expected to continue your life afterwards like nothing HAPPENED.

#hey guys it is once again me #being EMOTIONAL #i will NEVER be over the gut punch that was getting to the end #reading about kazuyo #and THEN THE EARTH SHATTERING REALIZATION THAT KAGEYAMA'S HEAD AND HEART WERE JUST FUCKED FROM LOSING HIM #like holy shit . . . #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #oikawa tooru #ushijima wakatoshi #miya atsumu #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu spoilers #hq spoilers #sou says stuff #haikyuu meta

[fernsnailz]

i don't know how to describe how much i love sonic battle's endings with words so i made a comic about it

epilogue:

#had to remake the post after SOMEONE accidentally posted it too early last night so. my bad #but yea. EVERYONE GO PLAY SONIC BATTLE RIGHT NOW ITS REAL GOOD #personally i don't think my adaptation of the ending does it enough justice at all. there's so much more to it than this man #also i never want to draw tails crying again. that shit hurt #fern's sketchbook #sth #sonic the hedgehog #tails the fox #i am so tired and i am not tagging all these characters. sorries

[egophiliac]

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE" As someone who's been playing TWST since march and stopped going out of my way to be spoilerfree after I got stuck at Overblott!Jamil? That's honestly been one of my favorite things about it - seeing something in fanart or a comment you think is just fans joking, only for it to be canon. "The economy!", "May I also throw a tantrum?", Malleus' gargoyle thing, and... everything about Rook being my top examples.

there's a whole bit in Trey's platinum birthday card where he goes on about how he became increasingly obsessed with mustard for like a week straight until the other students held an intervention. how are you supposed to talk about this. how can you bring up something like Trey's descent into mustard obsession to the point that the other characters are worried for him without it sounding like the most obvious lolrandom "he mentioned it once and now fandom acts like he puts mustard in everything" joke. also, how can I slip this into every Twst post from now on, because I need everyone in the world to know that this is a real canon fact about Trey "I'm just an average normal guy (who sticks my hands into people's mouths and owns 20 toothbrushes and used to eat flowers off the side of the road)" Clover.

for bonus points, 1) the punchline is that he still doesn't even like mustard that much, 2) he's saying all of this to Leona, and 3) Leona is actually kind of invested in Trey's mustard story for some reason, which is the most unbelievable part of all of this to be honest. (then Trey gets distracted by a painting of the Cheshire Cat and Leona takes the opportunity to powerwalk away to freedom before they can start talking about dijon versus spicy brown or whatever and extend this bit even longer)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #platinum jacket birthday #sorry that this ended up as me just talking about trey's birthday story for...about as long as trey talked about mustard. whoops. #i have said it before and i'll say it again though #the birthday cards have the best and most insane lore and i love them #especially for trey. he wants us to believe he's just some ordinary dude SO bad but he also keeps saying shit like this. #although to be fair as soon as rook enters the building the weirdness bell curve gets immediately fubar'd #so i guess it's all relative #me any time the characters brush off the most whackadoodle bonkers nonsense: why are they not questioning...oh wait #this is a universe in which rook exists and is a real person that they know #never mind please continue

[coveredinsun]

i just had a thats so raven-esque vision of one time after the war when legolas and gimli are on Their Travels and they encounter none other than legolas’ old one-sided situationship tauriel. and he’s working his way through a catch-up session that’s family reunion level of awkward. he’s like “heyyyyy it’s been like a month (60 years) since i’ve seen you. how have you been since ummm. well. since that guy died. and my dad banished you.” and tauriel is like “well actually i’ve been great! just sort of living off the land. i visit rivendell sometimes that’s fun. i suppose besides The Grief i’m doing fine but i do miss the spiders sometimes. oh and no hard feelings about your dad banishing me by the way! i mean it was pretty fucked up but i don’t blame you for it.” and legolas is like “good, good………. yeah. the spiders.”

and then there’s a very long silence and tauriel is like “so………. care to introduce me to your friend?” and legolas (he’s absolutely 100% fucked and he knows it) is like “Um. Well. This is………. Gimli. Say Hi Gimli.” and gimli is like “hi i’m gimli. son of gloin and husband to legolas. pleasure to meet you my lady!” and legolas has to keep himself from exploding cartoonishly at the sheer >:3 face tauriel gives him before she’s like “wow husband? how novel for a dwarf and an elf to fall in love!” and it’s legolas’ worst day on middle earth and tauriel’s greatest. gimli and tauriel exchange phone numbers

#yeah……. the spiders. #the chronicles of cringefail shit tier ass elf legolas never end #i love making these posts they’re so fun #gimleafposting #lord of the rings #the hobbit #lotr #legolas #gimli #tolkien #tauriel #gimleaf #gigolas #coveredinsunposting

[strangersteddierthings]

So it's like, Eddie comes back and now he's like really affectionate to Steve in a way he wasn't before. Except it's not Eddie, it's Kas trying to pretend to be Eddie. Kas doesn't have Eddie's memories, just echos of feelings towards people and apparently Eddie had Super Strong Feelings towards Steve. So strong Kas thinks "They must have been lovers. If I play in love with the man with the nailbat, they will surely Believe I Am Eddie and I can help Vecna defeat them from within" and that is NOT the case.

Queue shenanigans as everyone tries to figure what who the hell is in their friend's body while trying to pretend they don't suspect a thing. Because the sudden affection for Steve is just the piece that tips the scale, because there's been an awful lot of things not adding up since Eddie returned. Like Eddie eating veggies happily while Wayne stares at him, suspicious and confused, or when Will asked about DnD and 'Eddie' was like what the fuck is that and Will's like... Dungeons and Dragons? The others said you were just as obsessed as us with it?? and Kas!Eddie has to be like "*nervous laughter* hahaha I jest I love the Dungeons and the Dragons". Etc.

And then poor steve is left to deal with this affection he wanted so bad before but doesn't want now because he didn't want Eddie for his body (even if it is a really nice body) but he liked all the things about Eddie that no longer seem to exist. He's not loud, he's not outspoken and wild, he doesn't care for music anymore, didn't even know what dnd was! Everything that made Eddie Eddie is gone and Steve doesn't know how to feel about finally getting what he wanted (Eddie's affection) but it's not the Eddie Steve fell in love with. But Steve's supposed to be distracting the imposter while the others work out a plan.

#steddie #kas!eddie #what im sayin' is he fools no one but thinks hes infiltrated SO WELL #angst with a happy ending #like eddie is in there the whole time but shoved back and when El finally rips Kas from his head Eddie is like #holy shit it's me guys!! #and then steves like... so... kas said he loved me. Was... was that just him or do you... could we...? #and eddie tells him that kas never loved him‚ that was an act‚ but eddie DOES love him #and then they smooch

[crowsgrudge]

kayne: what kind of great old one calls himself fucking john

john:

#malevolent #malevolent ep 40 #malevolent spoilers #like damn! leave him be! #kayne really was like stupid ass name... #from the guy calling himself KAYNE i dont wanna hear SHIT #at least john doe has like. meaning behind it #kayne just means little battler like okkk little soldier has daddy looked at u this month 🙄🙄🙄 #sorry i love making fun of his daddy issues #NOW THAT ITS CANON HE'S NYARLATHOTEP #hes never gonna hear the end of it #god forbid azatoth is ever introduced guys im so serious #remi rambles

[judasisgayriot]

Fall Out Boy gets uncomfortable

#patrick stump #pete wentz #fobedit #fall out boy #peterick #i guess?? #fob #anni edits #patrick gives pete a gyno exam. you know. like bros do. lol #why did they do this in particular to make this point?? who can say. normal thing to do obv #anyway the depths of weird fob shit never ends lmao #video of patrick feelin around in pete’s p.ussy literally. incredible.

[fortheloveofexy]

it's a pet peeve of mine when ppl frame Andrew as hating Aaron and being needlessly cruel to him... bc while yes, their relationship is fractured and strained, Andrew genuinely cares about his brother and wants the best for him, he just doesn't know how to show that in a normal way.

like he might not know how to express it in a healthy manner but Andrew LOVES Aaron, like he truly just wants Aaron to be healthy and safe. It's like, his whole Thing. Aaron is one of the most important people in his life. Andrew wants him around. He'd do anything to protect him.

I guarantee Andrew wants to be emotionally close to Aaron too, he just doesn't have the tools to do that and the thought of letting someone in terrifies him. He also has no concept of what a healthy sibling relationship looks like, so he has no frame of reference to work from.

#i love bickering twinyards as much as the next guy but sometimes ppl write andrew has if he thinks aaron is a waste of space #and that just isn't true #andrew values his brother #he wouldn't insist on keeping aaron close if he didn't #when ppl do this is just so obvious to me that they're using andrew as a mouthpiece for their own dislike of aaron #and like ok yeah you're entitled to not like a character i guess #but it's just so wildly out of character to me for andrew to treat aaron like shit for no reason beyond Being Cruel #like yeah andrew can be mean when he's feeling defensive or trying to make a point #and yeah he can treat people like shit if he's got a reason to justify it like Keeping People Safe #but he's not needlessly cruel to the people closest to him without cause #like neil says #everything andrew does #he does For A Reason #even neil isn't needlessly mean to aaron tbh #like he doesn't like aaron much at certain points but if he picks a fight with aaron it's never without cause #and he's genuinely happy for aaron when things work out with katelyn in the end #and he wants aaron to have a relationship with andrew as well! like it's important to neil that the twins have a healthy bond!! #anyway im getting off my soapbox now this is just something i was thinking about today a Lot #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court

[catrasfreckles]

*wakes up*

I wonder how Pyrrha feels about her dead lover's dead daughter having the same name as her dead best friend

*goes back to sleep*

#i need Pyrrha to tenderly cradle Gideon in her arms like a wittle baby. #the locked tomb #pyrrha dve #gideon nav #tlt #kiriona gaia #pyrrha rly is just haunted by all the people shes loved. everywhere she looks theres another reminder #but i think she could give gideon a lot of perspective re: cavaliers #in ntn right before cam and pal do the thing and she talks about how lyctorhood is not love. good shit #anyway. my point is i love pyrrha and she should scoop up gideon like a little bug. and give her a blanket and some hot cocoa maybe. #and also that its kinda fucked up to be in your dead best friends body forever and be reminded of him constantly #grief never ends

[butterfilledpockets]

2 am bent doodle idea. They are trying to bake a cake but failing miserably. Peepaw keeps smooshing the eggs a la 2al style. Raph is mixing the batter to death. It's everywhere. Ronin is wearing a cute apron. Idk donnie is lighting things on fire. Whatever shenanigans you think they can get up too. If you want <3

Raph is the Gordon Ramsey of the crew, Leo is the fucker who eats everything (Raph's apron says "Ill feed you fuckers")

Raph is the only one actually working on the recipe (I like to think these two are the only ones with good enough backs to still have break dancing parties)

he will harness the Keya engine to back these cookies. Raph will sacrifice the cookies if it means a lightshow

ronin has not touched a kitchen in a long time he feels like a fish back on water (the fish having evolved lungs and legs and has now been chucked into the water thinking 'the fuck? I'm back??? why???' which is also the entire premise of this au) (realize i forgot to draw his goggles)

this is the 8000th time this has happened (this is what fueled the flamethrower situation)

you have no idea how much time I spent looking for aprons I was SPOILED for choice- there are some that are pure gold

(full collage under cut)

#thank you so much for this ask wren #b.e.n.t #PLEASE EVERYONE GIVE ME MORE APRONS THEY ARE SO FUNNY #bad end ninja turtles #tmnt crossover #tmnt au #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2012 #the last ronin #tmnt last ronin #rottmnt #2003 raph #2012 donnie #last ronin #rottmnt leo #tmnt future #future leo #mutant apocalypse #same as it never was #had so much fun with these holy shit

[roomy-ghosted]

None of these bitches are wearing seatbelts by the by and I love that they're all probably for different reasons.

#I say the reasons at the end of the taglist tehe #jrwi #the suckening #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #shilo bathroy #shilo bathory #hate he has two spellings #jrwi grefgor #jrwi grefgore #emizel tucker #emizel doesn't fucking care about road safety so he's chilling #Gref and Shilo both have never been in a car before so they dont know they need to seatbelt up #arthur doesn't think he'll crash but he has the tenacity of Ceasere Zomburger whilst driving to me #('I will /CRASH/ this BUTCH MECHANISM!') #also the shit he(ceasere) says about parking #Arthur fucking drives on the left still as well. like tell me this man is not fucking dumbass whilst driving #also watch bigtop burger for me bye <3

[zvahl]

thinking about how when Garroth gets back from the Irene Dimension he immediately gives himself the task of fixing up the old docks. thinking about how the docks first came about as a direct result of Aphmaus influence on the town originally, her tasking herself out of her own good-will to fix up and serve the first town she stumbled upon and decided to call home. thinking about how garroth says he fell in love with her as soon as he knew she was a good person. thinking about how Aphmau paving streets and renovating villager houses is what made him love her. thinking about how the docks was Their spot, it's where he saw her off and waited for her to come back from all her out-of-town quests, its where they meet up after Donna and Logan's wedding and where Garroth goes to reflect after Zenix's betrayal and is comforted by her. thinking about how Garroth's love for Aph is ultimately an extension of his love for Phoenix Drop and her love for Phoenix Drop is how she shows she loves him. Thinking about when he comes back from the Irene Dimension, after inadvertently leading the town to decay, blaming himself for Aaron's death, and irreparably damaging his relationship with Aphmau his first course of action is to fix up the docks. He's fucked up and the only thing he feels he can do is what Aphmau did so long ago that proved to him she was a worthy lord and a good person: roll up his sleeves and pick up a hammer and nail.

#z. #minecraft diaries #aphmau #garroth romeave #garmau #im coming out as a garmau enjoyer they make me so fucking ill. #i could froth at the mouth over all their Motifs and Themes and shit for hours dont tempt me #even if they never end up together Phoenix Drop is their proverbial Baby. the town is the ultimate symbol of their affection for eachother #the more they love Phoenix Drop and its people the more they love each other and the more they love each other the more Phoenix Drop thrives #the docks is the microcosm of that. him repairing it is his first step towards reparing Them. do you understand. do you understand me.