#shn interview

[frozeninice]

advice from the past -- dear future me pt. 2

Its July 8, 2023, and I have a raging ear infection (one of many and likely many more), and I was thinking of a post, written by me, Katie sent to me a couple months ago. It was a “dear future me” written in September 2018. I had been going through some old notebooks and read a letter written to future me, likely around the end of high school, 2016 ish. I won’t repost it here, but you can find it under the “dear future me” tag. 

I read through the letter from the past to the future me, at the time it was September 2018. I had just started seeing a psychotherapist for my depression and anxiety as I struggled through nursing school. I’m not sure of the exact dates, but I think that was around the time of 3rd semester of nursing where everything went to shit: nearly failed out, burnt out to the bone, crying at the (seemingly) little inconveniences in life (when actually it was the burn out seeping out). It was a bad time, surely, but to see myself wanting to be positive and keep going on, it warms my heart. 

Nursing school were the hardest years of my life. I wouldn’t want to go back and do it all again, do it all different, because I know I had to go through all that pain and struggle to get to where I am--who I am--today. I love who I am. I would never want to change that. What I’m trying to say here, is that even though I was so fucked up mentally, a part of me still wanted to persevere and knew that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if I couldn’t see the end, I hoped the light would be there. Looking back into my memories of these times, its hard to look past all the shit and remember the good in all the bad, so it--what’s the word, not grateful, not relieved--comforts me knowing that a tiny part of me wanted to keep living life. 

What’s life like now?

Well, I finished nursing school in 2021. It wasn’t easy. I failed a couple courses, nearly failed many more. Had to take an extra year, so I really beat down on myself for being a failure, for not finishing in 4 years. But now, in 2023, I see that I needed to graduate in 2021 instead of 2020. Aside from the obvious reason of THE FUCKING COVID PANDEMIC, ahem, sorry had to get that out of the way. My mental state in 2020 sunk to rock bottom. I can’t imagine finishing nursing school, getting my RN, and starting the new grad journey ALL during a fucking pandemic. I think I actually would have tried to kill myself, and I’m not saying that lightly or jokingly. I needed to graduate one year later, despite myself hating it the whole time. I needed that extra year to learn about me. Also, don’t let myself ever forget that you met your best friends of nursing school in that extra year. Marissa, Rachel, Zipora, Kafia, Rae, Joanna, Libby, thank you. These friends helped you get through the last three years. You are still in contact with these friends. You have traveled with these friends. Do not let yourself forget all the positives of taking that extra year. You are not a failure. You are a survivor. 

I studied my ass off and wrote the NCLEX in 2021. For once, I actually felt ready for an exam. I was itching to write it, instead of hiding, I went into the light and did it. I conquered it. I demolished it. I am so fucking proud of myself, of you, for writing it. I passed. June 19, 2021, you passed the fucking NCLEX and became a registered nurse (RN). Congratu-fucking-lations. You fucking did it!!

I then applied for new graduate nursing jobs. My heart screamed Sick Kids, but I later learned that this wasn’t my path, not then, maybe in the future. I had many interviews in one week (still don’t know how you did that, ya crazy crazy girl). My last interview of the week was with SHN for a nursing resource team (NRT) or float nurse position. Most of the jobs you applied and interviewed for had been for float positions, but you didn’t feel excited for these positions. You wanted exciting. You wanted interesting. MEDSURG didn’t feel like either. Your last interview of the week, by now you have mastered the core questions of a new grad interview and DESTROYED that interview. Going into the interview, you felt meh, its another NRT, whatever. But by the end, you felt different. You felt supported, like you could do anything. The manager, Rebecca, made you feel like you knew your stuff, and the clinical practice leader (CPL) Janette, made you feel supported and encouraged. For once, in the interview process, that you could see yourself working as an RN. That this was all becoming real. 

So you accepted the position with SHN as an new grad NRT in the new grad guarantee (NGG) initiative. You started August 3, 2021. You got three months of orientation in different units of your hospital. You were inexperienced. It had been over a year since being in the hospital for placements. You lacked a lot of nursing skills. But you learned quickly. You absorbed, like a sponge, everything you learned. You made mistakes along the way, but you learned from your mistakes and improved your nursing practice. 

October 25, 2021, you were set into the world of nursing on your own. You were in charge of your patients, you were in charge of completing all the tasks of the shift. You struggled. But you knew when to ask for help. You did not let your ego get in the way of your patients’ safety. The very first shift of being by yourself, you were placed on a surgical unit (5W). You had a pt with a colostomy, the bag got too full and exploded. Got all over the patient, the bed, and floor. It was a huge mess. But you learned not to leave emptying the bag until the last minute. You had a patient fresh post op from thyroid surgery. They were satting in the 80s and you panicked. You got the charge nurse and made them stay with you while, together, you figured out how to help the patient. 

Over the next couple months of your new grad nursing career, you made a lot of mistakes, learned from those mistakes, overcame anxiety and imposter syndrome, and became a more confident and competent nurse. 

December 27, 2021, surprises me how easy I remember the date. This was your first code blue. This destroyed you. It was the 4th day shift straight, end of the day, you almost made it to the end, when this code went off. Around 6pm it occurred, I think. You spent your first Christmas away from your family at the hospital with others who were too sick to be with their own. This was your first involvement in a code blue. The first time you did compressions on a real person, first time you saw what a code truly is. How gruesome it is. What is needed to be done to bring someone back to life. You got the patient back, but ultimately, they did not survive the night. You stayed with the primary nurse while she filled out the death paperwork. You knew you needed to see this, even though you were so distraught. Charlene, the PSW on the floor that day, held you as you cried. She helped you process this. You reached out to your manager, Rebecca, to talk about it. You talked with your good friend and charge nurse that day, Christie. You talked with your parents. You talked with your therapist. You tried. It was difficult. But you knew that you wanted to work in emergency, and you knew that you had to work through this so that you would be ready for the next time someone needed to be brought back.

June 5, 2022, you started your new position as a split pediatric-emergency RN. This was your dream, this was what you were working towards during those hours in NRT that you dreaded. Emergency was definitely not what it seemed, and you struggled to grasp everything before your brain shut down. You needed this change, to a new position. Float team was destroying you from the inside. Your mental health was plummeting. It was the best thing you ever did. Working on 7W satisfied your need to work at Sick Kids, you learned you didn’t need Sick Kids. You found your home. 

Since then, you’ve been working your split peds-emerg position. Its not been easy, but its been worth it. 

You’ve been seeing a psychiatrist, alongside your therapist, for ADHD, depression, and anxiety since the middle of 2020. Its been scary, but its been worth it. You are a stronger, more confident you. 

The road you’ve traveled thus far has not been easy, and the road ahead is also not going to be easy. You are learning to accept that life does not become easy once you reach a certain point, you just learn to adapt yourself to be able to process and handle life’s challenges. 

Now in 2023, you are struggling with how to have a work-life balance and how to be Kirsten without the nurse or the baker. 

Life feels grey right now. You are trying to add colour, but it feels like futile efforts. Keep trying to add colour. Eventually you will turn around and see the rainbow. 

Dear past me: I’m sorry I can’t tell you it will be easy. 

Dear future me: You will get better at dealing with the obstacles life throws at you.

I love you so much.

#dear future me #advice from the past

[spyfir68]

China Boosts Its Covid

The facilitation preparations for those inoculated with Chinese vaccines are based mostly on full consideration of the safety and effectiveness of the vaccines, Foreign Ministry spokesman Zhao Lijian stated on Tuesday. https://www.chinavisa.com.tw/china-visa/ limited visitor entry to the country ever for the explanation that pandemic began and only removed flight restrictions this previous... Nepal so far has obtained 2,348,000 doses of vaccines – 1,000,000 doses underneath grant assistance from India, 1,000,000 doses of the two,000,000 doses that the government has purchased from the Serum Institute of India, and 348,000 doses under the Covax facility. IV) Non-Chinese nationals in the U.K.holding legitimate Chinese residence permits for work, personal issues and reunion will now not be affected for entry into China. Travelers with travel historical past to Indonesia or the Philippines might be required to take an Antigen Rapid Test along with the PCR test. Serve a 14-day SHN at a SHN-dedicated facility or a place of residence or suitable accommodation. On the seventh day of the SHN, the entrant is required to retake a COVID-19 PCR take a look at. For these residing in Hong Kong, what this implies is the choice of vaccine might actually be a choice on eligibility to travel to China, or elsewhere, but not both, given the BioNTech vaccine and the Sinovac vaccine are the only available choices in Hong Kong. It would seem, nevertheless, that the BioNTech vaccine, despite being developed in collaboration with Fosun Pharma for shots supplied to Hong Kong, wouldn't fall beneath this category. Fakhoury Global Immigration, a woman-owned enterprise, provides business-based immigration options for over a hundred countries worldwide. Now, let's wait for the 1st nation to make mutual recognition of COVID-19 vaccines with China. 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#台胞證