Oops. I’m doing it again.
Damn i am so high, but the vibe just feels way off. Shit be uncomfortable asf, legit having me just sitting here waiting for the come down. Hope y'all have a better high and day. Stay safe out there and wash yourselves. Bless.
Last shot left. Wish me luck that I get it in, cuz the past few shots have all fucked me up.
What y'all motherfuckers up to ? Any of you high right now or about to be ? How y'all dealing with whatever the fuck going on in the world right now ? I’m curious.
Only thing that makes me happy.
pushed on the flash…cant fuck around pullin back when you shootin in a gem.
The amount of heroin promoting on this website is sickening. Pictures, videos, gifs like it is cute. Get some help.
Don’t you dare bring that toxic waste around me
Rigs and water and bathroom floors
That slight moment after a hit when you cant breath and you feel like you might actually die.
I fucking live for that feeling even if it only last 8 seconds.
it’s been rough lately. schools been rough, College is like a pressure cooker. once I’ve hit my limit I’ll burst because of the stress. whether it’s stress or sadness, the only thing assets of mine that can fix this, temporarily, is getting high. the feeling of the needle sliding up into my vein is like my daily supplement of vitamins and nutrients from a superfood green juice. except the “vitamins and nutrients” of shooting up too much heroin can kill me. you can’t beat that feeling of the ultimate high, like an oasis that takes your problems away. at least that’s how it feels right now, but in time i can tell it’s probably gonna get worse. it’s almost like hypnosis, you’re fully engrossed in your relaxation mode, letting go of your mind and body, and putting your control into someone’s else’s hands. this is what heroin does to me. heroin takes control of me, and i don’t choose when it stops.
Who the fuck even reads this shit? I can’t find it if I search a million different things. I thinik this TUMBLR thing sucks.. Anyhow, back to the diary.. What a wonderful moment: when you get into the dealers’ car, and he knows your partner is away, and he casually lays his hand on your thigh. Nothing further happens, but I know what he wants, what he is hinting at.. I live in a place where drugs are so cheap, that you could live easily without having to whore yourself – why do you think I moved here? And it ain’t in Asia – been there, done that, would have been broke within 2 weeks. Life as a junkie.. So who cares? Suck that dick – I could have put my hand on his,. and I am positive he would have given me my 20 or 40$ worth of drugs for free. Probably ask to see a tit or two. And he knows I am married. And he knows that my man is a scary man to fuck with. I am really angry right now. I wrote something really funny on Facebook, shared a funny thing I found, and of course, as always,. all the ‘grown-ups’ that you HAVE to be FB friends with start admonishing me. It makes me want to spread my legs and take a picture of a tampon string and post it on Facebook – but that would not be really that funny to me…. I like funny and shocking shit. This blog is not working. Nobody is reading this. I think I need to change to blogger. Went to the needle exchange today – they are supposed to be open until 6pm – it was 3 pm and they were closed. We called an affiliate of theirs. and were told that they have been doing that alot. Fuck you – we aren’t worth anything?? Now I have to poke myself with old rigs – and what if I had no ascorbine – I have to risk a heart infection with lemon juice!?? I went to the free exchange (where you need an annual TB test to get shit and only between 10-12pm are the hours for the test which is impossible for me), and amazingly, they were out of BD syringes. FInally, I tried a pharmacy. where they send the poor people with no insurance to get medications – they don’t carry rigs – the guy said “it is illegal to sell them without a script” – then how come I buy them all the time at my local pharmacy (which was closed as it was Sunday today). I told him this, and then he said “oh well not in this neighbourhood” (right in the heart of the city). I looked down and saw a sign on the counter that said “We do not sell syringes or needles” – in English,, and this is not an English country. So wtf to do? Use old ones!? Fuck this mentality – as if we are not people that deserve access to clean medical equipment!!! Thank FUCKING god (no capitol g) that we had 3 clean ones at home (we had been taking a break, and so had luckily a couple of new ones), and THANK GOD we both got it in one shot – often I have to use 30 needles to hit. and that sucks with old needles. This is a bitch entry.. I am bitching. But nobody will read or see this. I don’t even know what the fuck tumblr is – thought it was a way to reach ppl, but i think i will just take my posts and copy and paste them elsewhere. Fuck you Tumblr, Fuck You who don’t find shit funny, and Fuck FUCK SCROOGE McDUCK! And if nobody writes me back, then fuck this, Drella go elsewhere.
I wonder how much vodka it will take me to forget the feeling of the needle sting before it enters my vein.
I wonder how much vodka it will take me before my cravings even begin to subside.
I wonder how much vodka it will take me to forget the way you looked while you were about to OD, but you were still driving.
I wonder how much vodka it will take me to forget your eyes when you looked into mine and told me you loved me no matter what; that you were my ride or die.
Becuase i’m already half way to mangled and i can still remember all of it.