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#short brocolli
eshithepetty · 2 years
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I was never meant to hurt
A day late to Ritsu's birthday since I have no sense of time, but here <3
[Short ID: a two page comic about Ritsu from Mob Psycho 100 set to the poem: Left to dry out in the light, I wanted out, I wanted in. Now I've found my source of strife. I've gotten out, I've seen what's in. End ID.]
More detailed ID under cut:
[Long ID: the comic starts with a shot of Ritsu seated at a table, a spotlight shining on him, his plate empty. The other figures around him, resembling his friends, are dark, on Tome's plate an alien head and on Mob's a dumbbell. The words accompanying it are: "Left to dry out in the light."
The second and third frame are placed next to each other. The second, set to words: "I wanted out", has a similarly dark purple tone to it as the first, and it depicts Ritsu, in his school uniform, reaching over a wire fence, towards flowering, sharp cacti. The third however is lighter, the background a dull yellow, set to words: "I wanted in", as Ritsu, in a blue hoodie, stares at the back of Mob, who is standing amongst a big growth of brocolli.
The second page starts with a frame of Ritsu, wearing a yellow hoodie, standing against the light of a sunrise, looking towards the camera, expression finally visible. There is rubble around him, and the colors are brighter. And the words say: "Now I've found my source of strife."
The second and third panels here are again set next to each other. The second is put to words: "I've gotten out," and it depicts Ritsu running along a yellow, tall field. And the final panel, accompanying the words: "I've seen what's in," shows Ritsu, clad in the same blue hoodie he wore the day of the accident, and Unknown Percentage. Placed against a warm background, light streaming over them, as they, peacefully, embrace each other.
The caption below says: "I was never meant to hurt." End ID.]
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ericsonclan · 2 years
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Would clothes would the Ericsons wear in a modern au like clothing styles
Ooo, this is a fun ask!
Clementine: Casual athletic wear sort of vibes. Either jeans or sweatpants, cute baseball jerseys, sports bras, etc.
Louis: He wears designer brands and enjoys some jewelry here and there. He alternates between classy understated looks and flashier prints.
Marlon: Honestly not that different from his canon look. He wears a lot of casual clothes and owns maybe one suit (passed down to him from his dad).
Violet: She wears t-shirts and jeans. Hoodies are a must for her and she has a couple of those. As for shoes, it would be some basic sneakers. She also has some nice sundresses but she wears dresses more for special occasions than every day.
Mitch: V-neck shirts and muscle t-shirts. He also vibes with wearing jeans and only wears suits during special dates or events. Had a snapback era but eventually stopped.
Brody: She wears a lot of bright colors. Mom jeans and pastel tops are what she vibes with and cute flower jewelry.
Ruby: Classic southern style clothing. She wears a lot of flannel and jeans. She also loves wearing dresses and dressing up when given the chance.
Aasim: Has cardigan vests and nice dress shirts. For a more casual look, he wears plain colored t-shirts and maybe some fire-inspired fashion too.
Omar: Pretty basic look overall. Tends to stick to purple, greens, and earth tones.
Sophie: Snapback caps, ripped jeans, loose short-sleeved t-shirts with a jacket around her waist. Chill vibes all around.
Minnie: Plain white t-shirts, leather jackets, black pants. Likes wearing multiple rings sometimes. Also sometimes has music-themed clothes.
Tenn: He would probably wear Science Dog shirts, really vibes with dark blue shirts. He wears whatever his parents and sisters buy him and looks good in everything.
AJ: He wears Disco Brocolli merch clothing all the time. Also wears jackets to look even cooler. Sometimes he steals Clem's jackets and wears them even though they're way too big on him.
Willy: He has shirts that are all about his favorite shows, videogames, and random mascots. He has some silly hats too and pants with lots of pockets.
James: He would have a lot of really interesting shirts. All of them have their own flavor of weirdness and fashion to them. Very artistic.
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Hey! Clam Chowder and Brocolli Cheddar Soup for the soup store asks? ☺️
Thanks for the asks! 🤗🤗
Clam chowder: A scene that has special meaning to you?
In an older short story I had a scene where two old friends were reflecting about their lives during the new year. It was something I always thought about going back and rewriting because I don't like the lack of flow. That scene always plucks a nerve in me because the holidays are always a double edged sword for me. Like in the scene they were playing my favorite card game and wondering if indifference was the way to go about the rest of their life, since caring did nothing. And even me looking back on it I'm just like damn, I wrote that? Sorry if that was a lot. XD
Broccoli Cheddar: What was your inspiration for this WIP?
I'm not sure if there's a specific wip you wanted me to answer this for. XD I'll do it for the big three.
Space Don't Dictate Fate: I don't publish much of that one up here. But the inspo was definitely my girlfriend and very faintly seeing the moon in the sky while the sun was still shining. XD I wanted to give her a cool gift and became extremely invested.
Robots & Gardens: The characters themselves. Green and Peace especially. I truly love all of them. Definitely a character driven story.
New WIP still untitled: Open Season especially Boog and Elliot. I literally wasn't even watching the movie. XD I was just like deer man is needed now and brain hopped on it immediately. It was probably a nostalgic moment, I have no clue. My brain was hooked on the concept. Guess I love a man with antlers 😂.
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iankarlo · 1 year
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Homeeeee | 79th
Lazy me Friday.
My God!! There are so many tasks in my head but I really really feel lazy. All I wanted to do is to go home and play with my niece and my dog. 
I was all day staring at my PC and very bored. I wanted to go to office late or skip our sports activity. 
I got busy suddenly and I didn't manage to my tasks. 
Anyway, the day seems to be too short yet it feels long. 
After work, we went out for sports activity. We played futsal and it was very tiring I must say. Our championship game is such a good day. Its very a tight fight and we are all aiming to win. Although, I feel like I wanted to end it as soon as possible.
At the end of the game we still lost. Hahahaha. After our game too, my friends and I went to Harbor to change clothes and buy some drinks. We also ate in Ben's Kitchen. I really like their back ribs and the the creamy brocolli soup. We enjoyed our early dinner and after that, I met my brother in Uniqlo. 
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We roam around the mall and we ate in Unli Shabu shabu. We enjoyed the meal and I really enjoyed it. 
We rented a taxi on the way home cause I am really tired. We got home around 10pm already. 
PS: I had a cutie talk with Ae. I wish I was with him tonight too. I missed a chance to be with him. Omggggg. 
Also, Taylor Swift already released all tracks of Midnight album. I can't wait to hear this new album. 
Love always, 
iankarlo
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luciferfemme · 2 years
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12,13,22,23,27👀, 32,39 :)
12 what’s your favorite fruit?
Pineapple
13. what’s your favorite vegetable?
Brocolli
22. what are your favorite smells?
Rain, things associated with fall, butches
23. what’s your favorite flower?
I love love love flowers that are not supposed to be black but are anyway. Black roses, black pansies, black sunflowers
27. what are you wearing right now?
Short shorts and a very soft comfortable shirt that I've had for ages. Sorry to disappoint.
32. talk about a time something or someone made you happy?
Literally just yesterday, I got Barbie jelly sandals like from the 90s that I have wanted since I was literally 6 years old but could never have and they just really make me sooo happy.
39. do you have any pets?
I have two cats. Both of whom were surprisingly good during the move, although my little old lady cat did get stuck behind a bed at the hotel so that was not fun.
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kittenwithaquirk · 4 years
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“Will you come, Todoroki?”
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Translation: I want to hang out with you.
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marrikko33 · 2 years
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"He's Really Cute"
💞❤Todoroki x male reader🖤💞
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Warnings: none
pairing: shoto todoroki x male reader
Genre: fluff
aged up todoroki
short one shot
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・
Ever since the two of you had started going out, dating and talking to each other a lot more frequently, Shoto was managing to find more and more things he found beautiful about you. Being the introvert he was, it was a little more difficult to express how much he loved you, yet he didn't need to put it in words. You already knew. His blushing face, gentle touches and little smiles were enough for you.
"Y/N? Is there anything you want to do in particular today-", you didn't let him finish, instead hugging him tightly, pushing him onto the bed behind him and kissing him gently. "I-I, w-wait I'm cold", you could hear Shouto stuttering as he looked away quickly, his cheeks dusted a rosy pink and neck burning bright red. "Is that a problem? I like it that way". Smiling, you pecked his slightly chapped lips again and wrapped your arms around his waist. "Let's just stay here for a bit".
You ended up spooning him, your face rubbing against his head, as your muscular figure towered over him. "You are adorable y'know? Blushing red everytime I do this-", you poked his cheeks slightly, "this", now, you begun rubbing circles on his back under the sheets, "and this". Flipping you over, he was now straddling you, his face curved upwards into a grin.
"You never fail to embarass me, do you Y/N?", laughing he fell onto your chest and squeezed your cheeks, it was now your turn to blush madly. "Don't get too cocky", you warned him, ignoring his little pout. "Cocky? Isn't that you?". Narrowing your eyes, the two of you stared childishly at each other for a little, Shoto finally giving up after receiving the most dominant glare you could give him. Burying his head in your shoulders, he wiped the stinging tears in his eyes on your thin button up.
"D'you mind if I hug you a bit?". "Of course icy-hot". "Hey! Don't go acting like Bakuhoe now!". "Hm? Bakuhoe? I'd rather break my bones like brocolli than act like that drama queen". "Brocolli?", his face contorted into a merry laugh, before replying, "Y/N you never fail to surprise me".
Sighing, you sat up, letting him hug you like a bear attached to it's mother and walked over to your desk. "Shoto? You can go ahead and hug me for the rest of the evening, just don't move around to much. It'll cause problems and I'm sure you'd like to rest instead of that". Nodding, he looked up, kissed you lightly on both cheeks and smiling. "Y/N, your adorable". "Adorable, that's you isn't it- oh nevermind". Seeing the shining look in his eyes as you stared at his face, you would let it slide. Just this once.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
doesn't todoroki look beautiful here ;)
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popculturebuffet · 2 years
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VeggieTales: The Star of Christmas Review (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)
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Ho ho ho all you happy people! I’m Jake I review stuff and my blog’s christmas slurry continues with some brocolli, celery, it’s gotta be VeggieTales, courtsey of my good friend Emma. 
For those who don’t know what the heck this is, VeggieTales was a series of religious direct to video specials for kids done from the 90′s to the mid 2010′s starring antromoprhic vegtables, as the simple shapes needed for that were a god send to early 90′s cg. The franchise still persists today, having both had a mediocre and mildly terrifying netflix show and currently a show on an obscure christian streaming service. Despite wearing i’ts secular nature on it’s sleeves (several specails were outright remakes of bible stories and god is mentioned in every episode but never appears, like their version of Norm’s Wife from Cheers), the series blew up in popularity with kids of all kinds. 
Like many kids I grew up with these, or at least the earlier ones, and loved them dearly, not even realizing they were relegious despite obvious evidence till I was an adult. The show just had pure charm, with great voice acting, fun characters, and a wonderfully silly sense of humor. These 50 specials are a classic for a reason and these characters have lasted this long for much the same reason. 
SO naturally I was happy to cover this for Emma on comission. The result... was easily the thing that pushed my sanity closest to the brink in a year where i’ve had to deal with covid restrictions returning because people are stupid, a disaasterious trip to denver i’d rather not get into, final space and infinity train both getting canceled while owl house had its third season cut to ribbons because “it wasn’t disney content” aka “because it’s very gay and I know we can’t say that but we can certainly imply it”, and a general sense of doom and gloom that while not as bad as last year wasn’t great.. and this was the thing to nearly push me over the edge of insanity. 
See you might think with that leadup this means the special is bad. It’s not. It’s not the shows best, but it’s not half bad. What it is however.. is crazy town banana pants. This may be one of the most batshit things i’ve reviewed on this blog. And in my two or so years doing this i’ve seen Santa untietoinally let his family die because he dosen’t know how doors work, a man who makes golems out of his skin flakes watch two women wrestle in oil, Pinoccio somehow be part of the Donald Duck universe because fuck off, Scrooge McDuck BUY AN ENTIRE ISLAND JUST TO TEACH HIS NEPHEW A LESSON, and whatever the fuck this is. 
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But this my friends takes the case for sheer batshit insanity. This my friends is the Christmas Star and trust me, your going to want to unwrap this one with me under the cut. This.. this is a trip. 
So for starters we’re just plopped right into the story. No real intro, no Bob and Larry on a countertop telling us things like the earlier shorts, just suddenly we’re in turn of the century London with Bob and Larry who are wearing fancy mustaches. Not even a minute in i’m a bit thrown off but thankfully we get caught up to speed quick.
Bob and Larry are two playwrites who have done adverts and what not for toothpaste, but want to do stage shows. They also have diffrent names in this one, but i’m ignoring that because...
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While Bob and Larry and the rest of the cast are TECHNCIALLY playing characters much like say, looney tunes, just because their in a diffrent setting dosen’t mean they act any diffrent. So i’m keeping the original names, if you have any issues with that please see my complaint department
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So our heroes convinced Larry’s Uncle, Played by Nezzer, to let them use his theater for a show on christmas eve in a few days, with Bob’s big gimmick for it being electric lights on the set, provided by his friend Pa Grape, who went to engineering school in this timeline and thus is a kooky inventor, though still as always the voice of reason in this crazy mixed up world. He also brings along his chekovs gun of a car that runs on rockets for the climax later. What a considerate cgi blob he is. 
Bob manages to wrangle a famous actress played by Madam Blueberry and a prince, played by of all the possible characters Mr. Lunt. Why?
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Seriously I feel Archibald Asparagus would’ve made more sense. Maybe it was just because having such a side character, and a normally shady one, play a mostly offscreen difgnified prince who shows up for the finale was inherently funny, which if this was intentional.. well played. Honestly I could just as easily buy they needed all hands on deck for this one and thus went for one that was still a decently sized character, but not one they needed in a more fitting roll elsewhere. 
Bob gets the prince, whose also a theater critic because plot convience, and the actress on board but encounters another problem: he finds out there’s another performance at a church that same night. 
It’s the annual christmas play by Junior Asapragus, whose being a little merry monster to everyone as he overworks his actors and refuses to accept a pea’s wool allergies. He died the next week. Charges were never filed. 
Junior’s dad is the local preist who is heading off to feed a poor family who needs it, something Junior questions. 
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That said the special DOES use this to teach a valuable lesson: The holiday should be about giving out of the goodness of your heart, about doing it for others. Not about the flash and trappings. It’s done slightly subtly, without beating you in the head with it but obvious enough younger kids will get it.  It’s charity like this WHY I don’t dismiss religion out of hand: I won’t deny it’s been used for massive harm: churches are responsible for massive amounts of homophobia, transphobia and generally unhelpful moral outrage, not to mention fueling republican assholes by blindly telling people to support them despite clear corruptions and in some cases ARGUGING AGAINST vaccine mandates despite you know, those being in place to keep ups alive. My point is a LOT of people associated with the church or who go to it are dumb.  But there are also plenty of christians, catholics and other jesus and god loving types who arne’t homophobic jackasses and just want to help out of the kindness of their heart. My Aunt Paula for instance works at a chruch, but is a nice, kind woman who has been nothing but the nicest person i’ve ever known and may ever know.  She set off my lifelong love of comic strips and has been nothing but supportive of me my whole life. Religion isn’t inherently bad, it’s the morons who refuse to think for themselves with it and the assholes who use it to back up their own barely contained bigotry that’s the problem, but when done right.. it can lead to people geninely helping other people simply because they feel it’s the right thing to do and help nudge them to their best instincts. It’s why despite growing ot be cyncial about religion.. I still don’t hate these specials. They try to teach kids the best part sof the bible, helping others and knowing right from wrong and i’m never not going to be okay with that. 
So the first ten minutes or so as you can tell really aren’t all that crazy though I did supsect this would be about Bob the Tomato getting overly competitive with a chruch production of the birth of christ. And good news Bob The Tomato, childhood icon to many DOSEN’T try to run a children’s production out of town.  He does something MUCH worse that we’ll get to soon. 
So Bob decides NOT to steam his competition and have Larry devour the remains unkowingly, again confident he’ll have the better show and achive his goal of “teaching london to love”. Oh yeah I forgot to mention this takes place in england.
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That confidence lasts until God decides Bob needs to be punished for his hubris and Archibald Asparagus just HAPPENS to show up and hear him takling about the star. And thus things take a hard left turn into 
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As it turns out the star Junior’s using.. IS A PRECIOUS HISTORICAL ARTIFACT. Yes the church has had it for centuries and this CHILDREN’S CHRISTMAS PAGENT is the first time it’s being displayed in all that time due to various kings trying to loot it including one who liked eating anything star shaped. That bit got a chuckle out of me but it dosen’t detract from the fact this play is centered around a centuries old artifact.. that’s being USED FOR A CHRISTMAS PAGENT. It’d be like if Charlie Brown just happened to find the arc of a coveneant in the basement of the .. wherever he was that was having a christmas play and used it as the manger. 
So Archibald puts it in the paper, leading to the prince canceling on them. As such Bob’s solution is LIGHTS, LIGHTS ON EVERYTHING. A WHOLE ELECTRIC ORCHESTIRA OF
 LIIIIIIGGGHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSS
Putting them on costumes now. Unsurprisingly this dosen’t work. And here’s where things turn into a tinsel decked fever dream folks. See my first instinct when hearing about the star is “oh okay so bob’s going to steal it” but I stuffed that away, especially when they pivoted to the lights thing. SURELY a christian childrens show for young children wouldn’t have one of it’s most iconic and beloved characters steal from a chruch. Surely. And they wouldn’t.... no instead...
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For those of you who haven’t seen the special this is what ACTUALLY HAPPENS. I swear to god. And I don’t take swearing that lightly he’s pretty harsh on people who lie in his name. 
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I just.. their in the wrong and all but.. you’d think Big Idea would look at the script a bit more before realizing what they’d done. Bob and Larry, two of the most innocent characters I can think of steal from god’s summer home to save their flagging careers. DId Mel Brooks write this one? What is happening. 
And somehow the special gets even more insane as the two stay in the chruch past closing, now guarded by the scottish carrot who rarely shows up , who in this one is Moyer the Destroyer, a former boxing champ, a nice subtle joke.  They grab the star while he’s napping but larry NATURALLY causes a ruckuss leading to a long protracted chase scene which consists of Bob and Larry trying to escape with their stolen goods from a chruch while an old scottish man mutters at them incomprehinesibly the entire time. 
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Our heroes narrowly escape with what they and moyer think is the star. Now your probably thinking SURELY it can’t get any more what the hell right? Right?
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For starters we have play rehersal now with more lights and more stolen religious artifacts! So this seems normal.. till the costumes and bulbs all short out.. and cause an electrical fire....
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Yes really everyone flees and Bob is upset no one is by his side now he’s comitted arson, minus the peas but they really just count as one person. Now you were probably wondering “Wait how was Bob going to get away with the star thing anyway, Moyer saw their faces, their publicly credited on a poster, and he’s pubicly promoting having it. What was his plan”. Well his plan was jack and squat as Moyer brings the police, played by the yellow guy and ...
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So it’s time for VeggieJails as Bob beomoans his horrible actoins and is mocked by a cockney green onion in the corner over trying to make london love again by doing a stage show. I. I don’t know what you want from me at this point. 
Our heroes however are saved.. by the very people they robbed. In a nice gesture Junior choose to forgo the play to let them out. The pastor and son aren’t pressing charges. It’ sgeninely sweet.. even if it underlines that Junior.. really isn’t a character here. He’s more of a plot device, his play setting up bob’s theft and his saving them setting up the last act. J-Dawg is set UP for a character arc of growth and what not.. but... it just dosne’t happen. he’s just nice because we need a climax. 
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Turns out though the pagent is in ten minutes, and our heroes feeling bad this kind act has cost the kid his play vow to get him there using Chekvo’s rocket carriage. So we get a decent race the clock scene in a rocket powered car, which normally would be the higlight of insanity for this show but .. well see above. 
OUr heroes naturally make it in time using all the rockets including the forbidden last one, and while their without a star bob subtstitues using larry surronded by hallogens. We get a message about jesus being the real star, blah blah blah, and we segue into our happy ending: Nezzer suprisingly dosen’t send our heroes to Debtors jail, simply having them work off the debt in his factory, and the prince loved the play and wants to implicitly back our boys next project, and will likely pay off said debts for the theater. Why they didn’t just have him do that instead I don’t know. 
We get one final bit of insanity. While it should be a sweet moment, earlier the green onion or whatever he is complained about never having had a truly selfless act of kindness done to him in his life, so bob brings him dinner. But it’s set to just the most morose JESUS JESUS JESUS christmas song you could imagine, taking the special and the last shreds of my sanity with it. 
Final Thoughts:
Well.. that was insane. Seriously I don’t know why.. any of this. It was enjoyable to watch though and for kids it wouldn’t be bad as the impact of you know, one of their childhood icons going to jail likely woudln’t hit the way it did for me and i’ts got a good message, it just needed more time for some better pacing is all. And also the theme song which was sorely missed. So yes this speicial is kind of insane but also great for it. Check it out, it’s free on Tubi which is how I watched it and there’s hardly any ads so go do that. Then maybe check out supseria or something I dunno, I don’t know how you holiday. Maybe you’d prefer some duel masters. Whatever floats your jingle boat
If you liked this review, freel free to join my patreon for exclusive reviews and to help me keep the christmas lights on here. 
LINK IS HERE
Have a happy holiday, thanks for reading. 
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eveningcatcher · 3 years
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Main six + courtiers in Hell's Kitchen AU with MC as Gordon Ramsey
Hi, sorry for being absent for so long. Besides the school starting, there have been some things going on in my private life that didn't really motivate me to write. I can't post new chapters every week like usual, but I'll try to post as frequently as I can. Sorry for not doing any of the requests. I had this chapter as a wip for a while, so I decided to finish it. Hope you enjoy it!
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Previously on Hell’s Kitchen:
Chef MC tasted the contestants’ signature dishes and, needless to say, they were not pleased.
“How can you serve me this garbage!?!” MC shouted, “I wouldn’t feed a stray dog with this crap!”
Both teams had problems in the kitchen
“You moron, what are you doing?” Nadia asked, frowning like a madman, “Where is the chicken?”
And one team had a little throwback because of one of the cooks
“Volta, what in the world are you doing?” MC shouted, not believing their eyes, “That food is for the customers!”
But now all of that is set aside as the new day and new opportunities arise. Will the chefs be able to rise to the top and win the luxurious restaurant in Vesuvia, or will they crumble at the pressure?
“I want to go back home,” Portia sobbed as she hugged her knees, “I miss my grandma.”
  “Wake up sleepyhea-” one of the MC’s sous-chefs, Scout, stopped midsentence as she stared at Valerius’ bed.
He woke up as he rubbed his eyes, feeling like his head is a lot lighter. As soon as he put his head on the sheets he felt something strange. He lowered his head, only to be greeted by the sight of his braid cut off, right next to him.
“My deep apologies for the inconvenience,” Valdemar said as they put a pair of scissors down, walking out of the room to change, “I just can’t have some of your hair in the food we prepare, so I had to make some sacrifice,” they grinned from ear to ear as they stared at Valerius’ pale face, “Oh, don’t you worry, It’ll grow back before you know it.”
 ****
 “Good morning everyone!” MC said as they watched all of the chefs come into the room, “Oh, Valerius, nice hairstyle!” they chuckled as they stared at him who still hasn’t recovered from the trauma, “Who did your hairstyle? I must say I’m quite impressed.”
“Valdemar, they, I, I was sleeping and, and, that plebian-” he was interrupted midsentence by Valdemar.
“No need to thank me, for my dearest colleague it’s free of charge,” they smiled, enjoying Valerius’ reaction.
“Anyway,” MC said, as they walked up to one table, “Today I will be seeing how good your pallets are and,” their gaze flew over Valerius, Vulgora, Nadia, Lucio and Portia, “Judging by how many smokers are here, my expectations are low,” they turned their head to Julian, “Sit this round out.”
Julian nodded as he walked to the back.
“Valerius, Nadia, come here,” they took blindfolders and headphones, putting them on the two of them, “Can you hear me?” MC shouted at the two of them, “Good, now,” they took a plate of foods from Scout, “Let’s begin, shall we?” they raised one spoon, putting it into Nadia’s mouth, “Boiled potato.”
“Is this pepper?” Nadia asked after she swallowed the potato.
MC raised one of Nadia’s headphones, saying: “Boiled potato.”
They walked over to Valerius, who wasn’t lucky enough to guess either. Surprisingly enough, Nadia, as well as Valerius, both guessed all of the exotic foods right, with Nadia bringing 2 and Valerius bringing one point to their team.
Next, it was Vlastomil’s and Asra’s turn. Vlastomil guessed all of the vegetables and fruits, while Asra only recognized a date as well as ham, however, Vlastomil got a heart attack as soon as he realized he ate meat.
“But I’m vegan!” he shouted.
“Still, you’re not cooking for vegans!” MC explained, “You just have to know what you’re cooking, I don’t give a fuck what you eat.”
Overall Asra got 2 and Vlastomil got 3 points.
Now it was Valdemar’s and Lucio’s turn. MC hesitantly put the food in Valdemar’s mouth, trying their best to avoid those sharp teeth.
“Brocolli. Pear. Tangerine. Lamb’s brain,” Valdemar simply stated after they’ve tasted all of the food.
“Wow,” MC said, “Impressive.”
Lucio, on the other hand, wasn’t as good.
“Um, broccoli, this, this is an… apple. Oh, I know what this is, it’s orange! This, this tastes like bacon!”
“Not even close,” MC said as they took off his headphones, “Go back in your line. Portia, Vulgora, come here.”
Portia, just like Valdemar, guessed all of the food right, Vulgora half as much.
“Now it all comes down to this,” MC said as they put on headphones.
Volta guessed 2 right, but Muriel guessed all of them!
“The six of you have just barely won!” MC said, “Change your clothes, I’m taking all six of you somewhere special. As for the five of you,” MC gestured at the brooms, “I want this place crystal clear!”
“Yes, chef!”
  While the winners prepared themselves to finally go outside, the losing team went straight on to cleaning the hell’s kitchen.
“Wonder where we’ll go?” Portia said as she walked with Nadia outside.
“Honestly, any place is better than here,” she commented as she lit her cigarette, offering Portia one.
She happily took it and, once Nadia lit it for her, continued, “He told us to put on swimsuits, maybe a beach?”
“I sure hope it is!” Lucio said as he walked up to the two of them, to which Nadia only rolled her eyes.
 “I can’t believe I was put in the same team as my ex-husband!” Nadia frowned at the camera, clearly pissed.
****
  “Is everyone ready?” MC asked as they watched the other three walk out of the hell’s kitchen.
“Yes, chef!” the six of them said in unison.
“Very well then, let’s get going,” MC said as they gestured to a luxurious limousine.
****
“Finally!” Lucio puffed his chest as he stared at the camera, “A car worthy of me!”
****
 “Can you guess where we’re going?” MC asked the six of them.
“To the beach?” Portia and Nadia guessed.
“No, but you’re close,” MC said as they stared at others.
“A pool?” Muriel asked.
“Nadia and Portia were closer.”
“To the yacht?” Julian asked.
MC smiled and, with a small nod said: “You’ve guessed it!
****
“Oh my gosh, this will be just like my childhood!” Portia happily exclaimed, “The wind blowing through my hair, the smell of saltwater in the air…” she rambled on and on, “Ohh, I can’t wait!”
****
 “Can you imagine what the five of them are doing right now?” Mc asked as they sipped on champagne.
“Oh, I definitely wouldn’t want to be in their shoes,” Julian added as he finished his glass.
  “Alright, now that that’s out of the way,” Valdemar said as they put the brooms in their place, “We need to make a strategy on how to win.”
“We would have won, had someone not guessed only 2 foods right,” Valerius said, eyeing Volta not so discreetly.
“Who are you to talk?” Vulgora said, getting annoyed, “You only guessed one right! You did the worst out of all of us!” it seemed that it was enough to shut Valerius up, but Vulgora continued, “And you! How did you not recognize ham of all things?”
“Because I’m vegan!” Vlastomil shouted, clearly offended.
“This can’t do,” Valdemar said with a frown, “Let’s get one thing straight,” they started talking right after the four of them shut up, “We don’t like each other,” to that all of them nodded, “But the only way we can stay in this competition is to make sure that those six are the ones who always lose.”
“Makes sense,” Vulgora said.
“So you propose that we get rid of 6 of them first?” Valerius asked.
“Exactly, then we can deal with each other later,” Valdemar nodded and, after a short pause, added, “Oh, also, I have no wish to win this competition.”
“WHAT?” the other four asked, not believing what they heard.
“You see, I have absolutely no knowledge about cooking, at all, as a matter of fact, I’m a surgeon.”
“Why did you get here then?” Vlastomil asked, confused.
“Because I made a bet with my colleague, that ginger guy in the opposite team. If I were to get further in this competition than him, he’d have to buy me three rare specimens for my research, but if he were to win I’d have to get him 30 jars filled with leeches,” they finished their sentence, rolling their eyes.
“So, what you’re saying is that you wouldn’t mind if we were to vote you off as soon as that idiot is out?”
“I’d be more than grateful,” Valdemar said with a grin.
“Seems good enough!” Volta said as she nibbled on one of the cookies. “Wait,” she asked as she ate the whole cookie in one bite, “Why were you accepted in the Hell’s kitchen?”
“Same reason why ex-husband and wife were put in the same team,” they simply shrugged, “For the drama.”
“Oh, how much I wish they were to lose,” Valerius said in front of the camera, still thinking about his braid.
 “We’re opening hell’s kitchen!” MC said as everybody got to their places in the kitchen, “Don’t disappoint me again! Also, we’re one waiter short and since you are the losing team,” MC took a glance at five of them, “Valerius, you’ll be a replacement.”
Valerius only nodded as he left the kitchen.
“Vlastomil, you’ll be at the meat section,” Valdemar simply stated as they sharpened some of the knives.
“But I-” he wanted to protest, but Vulgora interrupted them.
“Stop complaining and go!”
 “Alright, let’s begin,” Asra said as they read the first order, “Let’s just put the same effort as yesterday.”
“This will be a breeze,” Asra grinned at the camera, “The opposite team is two cooks short! There is just no way we can lose,” as soon as Asra said that a smile disappeared on their face, “Unless…”
“OH FUCK!” Lucio shouted, not taking their eyes off the burning pan, “Um… I may have made an oopsie…”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?” Nadia shouted, mortified, “Someone, stop the fire!” she demanded.
Everyone gasped in shock, with Asra walking as far away from the fire as they could while Portia pulled Julian towards her before his clothes could have caught on fire as well. Muriel irked his head, trembling at the sight of fire slowly spreading to the other cookware. The fear didn’t stop him though, as he quickly found the fire extinguisher, stopping the fire.
“Oh, thank you,” Nadia said, hugging Muriel tightly, “You’ve saved us!”
“Why do I smell fire?” MC asked as they walked over to the kitchen, “Nadia, explain!”
“Lucio started a fire.”
“Oh my God,” MC said as they buried their head in both of their hands, “Did anyone get hurt?” they asked calmly, not bothering to move.
Nadia quickly took a glance at Lucio and Muriel. She knew very well that Lucio would complain like a little child had he gotten a single bruise. Muriel didn’t seem hurt either, in fact, he turned away, going back to his station as if nothing happened.
“No, sir, everyone is fine,” Nadia stated.
“Nadia, go back to the station, as for you Lucio,” MC raised their head, staring at Lucio as if they were about to murder him on the spot, “I want the oven spotless and you as far away from it as POSSIBLE!!!”
“Yes, yes, sir,” Lucio visibly shook as he got to work.
 “Come on, this is our chance!” Vulgora shouted as they cut some meat, handing it over to Vlastomil, “DON’T,” they said before Vlastomil could even start complaining.
“Is the shrimp pasta done?” Scout asked.
“We’re on it!” Volta said as Valdemar gave her a prepared sauce. She carefully poured it over the pasta, fighting the urge not to stuff her face with the food like yesterday. As soon as they were done, she carefully carried it over to Scout, who nodded in approval.
 Soon enough Valerius walked over, picking up the plate, taking a glance at both kitchens. Sure, his team was very slow, with only a couple of dishes out, but the other team was somehow far worse. He smirked as he walked over to the table.
“Your order,” he said as he put the plate down, “I hope you enjoy it,” he said with a smile plastered on his face as he walked over to the other table.
“Good evening,” he said as he eyed the customers, “How can I help you?”
“Oh, hi there~” a woman greeted him happily as she played with the blue fabric of the dress, “So, I’d like…” she stared at the menu for a moment, then pointed out at one dish, “This. As for the drink…” she thought for a moment, “I’d like some champagne!”
“Champagne along with that food?” Valerius asked, disappointed, as well as one of the men sitting with the girl.
“Seriously Star,” an older man shrugged, “Everyone knows that red wine would go much better with it.”
“Oh, then I’ll take the red wine,” she said, a bit embarrassed that she had to be corrected by her colleague.
“Agreed,” Valerius said as he wrote down her order, “What would you like, sir?”
“I’d like some pasta, no meat,” he added, “I’m a vegetarian.”
Valerius wrote the order down and, just before he could hand the order over to the opposite team, one of the customers called for him. He turned around, hiding his annoyance, “Is something the matter, sir?” he asked.
“Look at this crap!” the woman gestured at her plate, “It looks disgusting!”
Although he’d gladly agree with the woman, just because that would put the opposite team in a terrible position, Valerius knew there was nothing wrong with the dish. “My apologies, but I don’t seem to understand. What are you complaining about?”
“It’s too hot for me to eat it! And look at the colours!”
Valerius took another glance at the plate and after a moment continued talking with less patience, “What do you want me to do? To blow your food? Just wait for it to cool down like all of the civilized people for God’s sake. Stop wasting my time,” he said as he went back into the kitchen, handing Scout all of the orders.
“Hey, I’m not done!” she shouted as she walked over to chef MC, “Sir, you need to put your waiters in their place!” she shouted at MC, “I have never been disrespected like this in my entire life!”
“What a coincidence, I can say the same,” Valerius commented, unbothered, as he took the plates, walking away from her, adding, “Apologies for not cooling your food down.”
“See?” she pointed at Valerius, “I demand-”
“Miss, I’m working here,” MC said with a deep frown on their face, “Nobody has the time to listen to your stupid complaints,” they added as they wrote something down on the paper, “Please return when you have a reasonable complaint, if not, go to the psychiatrist and solve your issues. Don’t lash out your anger on my staff.”
“How bold of you to complain about my anger!” she wanted to continue, but as soon as she saw MC’s cold face, stopped, going back to her seat.
“Look at that idiot,” Vulgora laughed as they chopped some meat, taking a glance at Volta who was devouring the returned food, “Hey, what are you doing?!? Get back to your station!!!”
“Oh come on,” MC frowned as they watched Volta go back, “Speed it up, speed it up! Stop wasting time on the leftovers!”
Volta nodded, her mouth still full of food.
“My grandma would cook faster than all of you!” they shouted, taking a glance at how the other kitchen was doing, and oh boy, they had what to see.
The other kitchen was a mess. Portia accidentally spilt the boiling water on poor Lucio’s arm and it seemed that Asra and Muriel enjoyed the sight while Nadia and Julian pretended to not hear Lucio’s screams.
“Are you alright?” Portia asked, worried, “I’m so sorry!” she said as she grabbed his hand, only to find out that Lucio was pretending.
“Got ya!” he shouted like a little kid as he showed her his metal arm, “As for you,” he turned to the other three, but before he could make any remark, he noticed MC looking at them, their face turning redder and redder every moment.
“What in the world is going on?!?” they shouted, losing all of their patience. Within a moment the restaurant was closed and all of the chefs shivered in front of MC.
  “You were terrible, disgusting!” they shouted and paused, trying to calm themselves down, “You,” they turned to Volta, “I believe we’ve talked about not eating food during the job.”
“Yes, but Volta couldn’t help herself,” she quickly explained, “Volta is sorry-” she would have continued, but MC raised their hand, signalling for her to stop.
“Your team was so terribly slow-”
“But we were two cooks short! Of course, we’d be slow!” Vulgora protested.
“I know that,” MC stated calmly, “You were also most complimented, especially the meat dishes. Who was in the meat section anyway?” they asked as all of them pointed at Vlastomil. At the sight of him, MC couldn’t help but forget all of the rage they felt. After a good minute of laughter, they continued, “Seriously, you made the dishes?” they wiped off the tears in their eyes, “Good job. Keep it up,” they said as they left Vlastomil to dwell in his existential crisis.
“I…” Vlastomil said, not bothering to stare at the camera, “I’ve been a vegetarian my whole life! I’ve never had any meat in my house…” he paused for a moment, still trying to process MC’s compliment, “So why did people enjoy my food?”
 “As for you,” they turned to the other team, “Yesterday you were, you were amazing, how did it all change in one night? I believe it’s obvious who is the losing team. Muriel, you were the best of the worst, choose two candidates for the elimination,” with that, MC left the two teams on their own.
“Bye bye Lucio!” Vulgora grinned.
“What do you mean?! I’m not getting eliminated.”
After that sentence, everyone stared at him, thinking the same thing – could Lucio really be this dumb?
“What if, what if I get eliminated,” Portia started to get worried, “I mean, I could’ve seriously harmed someone,” she continued with her blabbering, “Oh, what will I do?” she started crying.
“Oh come on, don’t be like that,” Julian reassured her, “Everything will be fine.”
“No, it won’t!” Portia said, “I could have seriously hurt someone, do you think MC will let that slide?” she stared at Julian, her eyes becoming glossier.
“Look, you made no damage whatsoever,” Julian explained calmly as he tried to soothe his sister down, “That idiot could’ve burned the whole restaurant down.”
“Hey, don’t bring me into this!” Lucio shouted, “You did nothing the whole time! You were slow, unorganized and most of your dishes were returned!”
Julian ignored his comments, turning to Muriel, “Please don’t choose Portia,” he begged, “Choose me!”
Lucio turned to Muriel as well, “Don’t even think about choosing me!”
Muriel didn’t say a thing, instead, he just sighed, leaving the room.
“He… he won’t vote for me, right?” Lucio asked, feeling nervous.
~~~
“So, Muriel,” MC said as all of the chefs aligned, “Who do you choose and why?”
“I choose Lucio and Portia,” he felt shame as Portia’s name came out of his mouth, but there is no turning back now, “Lucio could’ve nearly burned the kitchen down had I not stepped in,” he simply explained, “As for Portia, she could’ve harmed someone with that boiling water,” he quickly added, trying to make Portia sound as good as possible, “Also, Lucio’s fake screams were completely immature. Such serious injuries shouldn’t be joked about.”
“Wait, please,” Julian walked out of the line, “I should be eliminated!” as soon as he said that, a smirk appeared on one certain doctor’s face, “I didn’t do anything when the fire started, I ignored Lucio’s cries and many people complained about my food! I, I’m not even a chef! I’m a doctor. There is no reason to keep me in the competition!”
MC stared at him, thinking about everything he said, “Very well then, if you’re so eager, join these two,” they gestured at Lucio and Portia.
“The person that will be eliminated from this competition is…” MC finally continued talking after a long pause, “Julian. Take your things and leave Hell’s kitchen.”
Despite the loss, Julian smiled brightly at MC. “Thank you for not choosing Pasha!”
“It, it’s happening!” Valdemar said happily as he stared at the camera, “Oh, what is this… feeling?” they stared at their hands, “Is it joy? Yes, it, it must be it, I have never felt so good. Oh, this is a dream come true, trust me, there is no better feeling than finally proving an idiot wrong. I just cannot wait to come back to my ordination, I should better start writing down the list of specimen I want!” they squealed like a high school girl, making the cameraman quite uncomfortable.
“Well, it sucks that I’ve lost the bet with Valdemar,” Julian admitted, “But at least my sister can keep going. I genuinely hope she can win and achieve her dream!” he said as he walked out of the Hell’s kitchen.
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wordsfromthesol · 4 years
Text
You’re a what... (2/4)
Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @zalladane @ghost-brocolli Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader Summary: Your life is turned upside down when you suddenly land in Gotham. Thankfully Dick is nearby and knows way more than he lets on. Warnings: Language, violence, all those good things Word Count:  1.7k
Part One   Part Three   Part Four
Dick shook you from your sleep, “Y/N! You’re safe! Wake up!”
You opened your eyes to see Dick leaning over you with a worried expression on his face. Your mind had still not caught up, but you blurted out anyways, “Fuck! How the hell did he even convince Hypnos to let him pull that bullshit?!” Your fists clenched with anger and electricity danced between your fingers. Dick looked over at you and you could see the gears turning in his mind.
“Hypnos…uncle…lightning…family drama…you’ve got to be kidding me. Y/N, you’re a god, aren’t you?”
“Technically…Wait, you actually believe that?”
“Well…” Dick contemplated what he should tell you, or rather how much he should tell you. “My dad knows Wonder Woman. She’s an Amazon, so that’s not that far off…”
You chuckled, “Oh, she’s no Amazon.” Before Dick could question you further, you continued, smiling with the knowledge that revealing this information would just further piss off your own father. “She’s a god, even if she doesn’t know it yet. I wonder what bullshit my father spun for that tale.”
“She said…sculpted from clay, Zeus brought her to life…”
“Yeah, sure. Even my dear old dad doesn’t have that kind of power. He ‘brought her to life’ by sleeping with Hippolyta. He takes what he wants, without regard or consequences.” Your chest went heavy as you remembered your own mother, who died giving birth to you, and left you alone with him. Hera terrorizing you every chance she got, after all you were just another one of Zeus’ bastard children. “So, any chance you know Di – Wonder Woman enough to get me an introduction?”
“Uhm…yeah, I…maybe. I’ll let you know.”
You threw your head into your hands, “Then again, the Amazons do love Hera. I wonder if Diana would even help me…I wonder if Hera knows Diana’s lineage? Maybe father actually managed to keep it from her…” You trailed off, forgetting that you were speaking aloud, and that Dick was in the room.
“I’m guessing Hera is not your mother then.”
You looked up at him, “What, oh yeah. No. Which is why I’m not technically, like a FULL on god… like Diana could probably take me in a fight. At least her mom is an Amazon, mine was just your average old human.”
“Human? You’re part human?”
“Is that such a surprise?”
“No…I guess I just didn’t realize Zeus was still coming down here to…play with humans.”
“Oh honey. I’m over a thousand years old. Hera has had him on a short leash after I showed up.”
“There’s no way you’re a thousand years old.”
You shrugged, “Time passes differently,” you pointed towards the ceiling, “up there. Who knows how this stupid human form will age.”
“Didn’t you say you were part human? Now you’re dissing us?”
You throw a pillow in his direction, “It’s not like I’ve ever actually been human!”
He picked up your failed attempt to hit him and threw it back towards you, “Well maybe give it a try first!”
“Hmph. What am I even supposed to do?”
“Get a job, make some friends, live. Like everyone else does down here.”
**
Nearly a month had passed. A month of you bumming on Dick’s couch, not knowing what to do. Not knowing any other human, besides the occasional chat with the barista at the coffee shop down the block or the avoidance of cat calls as you walked to said coffee shop. You still weren’t sure what Dick did, but he definitely wasn’t just a detective. He often came home with way too many cuts and bruises for simple police work. As you were going through the possibilities in your head, Dick walked through the door with a fresh cut through his jaw.
“Good news, Y/N/N, Wonder Woman agreed to meet you.” You moved to get up from the couch, but Dick quickly realized the miscommunication, “Tomorrow. Lunch tomorrow, she agreed to meet you. At Wayne Manor. My dad’s house.”
You settled back into the couch, “Okay.”
“That’s all I get? Okay?” Dick strolled over and sat beside you.
“I just…I don’t know if it’s even worth it anymore. She will know what to do as much as I do. I guess she may be able to get me passage to Tartarus. See Persephone…or give Hypnos a piece of my damn mind.”
“Zeus still invading your dreams?”
“Can’t you tell by my nightly scream sessions.” You rolled your eyes, trying to play off the pain you felt each time you allowed your mind to drift into sleep. In fact, that was why you hadn’t slept in nearly three days, and you had to admit this stupid human body was starting to feel it.
“Haven’t heard them in awhile…” Dick gazed into your eyes and began to notice the familiar signs of sleep deprivation. “Maybe there’s a different reason for that though.” He felt bad he hadn’t noticed sooner, but he had been to preoccupied nailing the drug ring he was after the night he met you.
You hung your head, realized you had been caught. “Yeah, it’s just easier this way.”
“Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but these lovely human bodies need sleep. Come on.” He pulled you up off the couch and led you into the bedroom. He watched as fear paved over your face and your breathing grew unsteady. “Hey, it’s alright. Just a few hours. Your body is going to start shutting down if you don’t get a few hours.”
You nodded hesitantly and crawled into the bed. You looked at him with pleading eyes until he moved to lay beside you. Without warning you curled into his chest, dreading the night to come.
Dick was shaking you awake several hours later, mumbling over and over, “You’re safe, you’re safe, it’s just a dream. You’re safe.” You felt bad for putting this stranger through your nonsensical life, but you had no other choice. Once you had answers from Diana, you promised yourself you would leave Dick out of everything. You didn’t want him dying because he helped you.
**
Finally, the two of you made your way to Wayne Manor. You hadn’t actually met any of Dick’s family…though he did talk about them. You’d much prefer him talking about his family than you about yours. Walking into the dining room, you saw a statuesque figure standing before you. Of course she’s drop dead gorgeous.
“Di – Wonder Woman. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Relax, Y/N. I trust these men, you may call me Diana. So, you are the cause of all pandemonium.”
“I guess so? I didn’t mean to be. Look, can we talk…” you eyed Dick and Bruce, “somewhere else?”
“We can, though it may be easier if we have their help.”
“NO!” The word came out much sharper than you intended. Your mind just kept floating back to scenes of Dick laying dead in your arms.
Diana eyed the two men, “I think it might be best if we were all a little more honest here.” Neither of the men made any effort to reveal information. “Alright,” Diana eventually spoke up again. “Guess we are going elsewhere then.” Diana led you to out to a garden, the two of you walking in silence. You sat on a nearby bench, deciding it was time to spin your tale. By the time you were done, you looked up to Diana, hopeful for ideas.
“My sister, that is a lot. I’m afraid I do not know what to do either. Our best option is to find Persephone. I do agree that she is likely the one who placed you on this earth.”
“Got access to Tartarus?”
“On Themyscria. I will work on passage for you. It should not be a problem, as you are female…and half god.” You grasped her wrist as she turned to leave.
“Diana…you know Zeus is your father, right?”
“I had long since suspected. But I will never get over the looks on men’s faces when I tell them I was sculpted from clay.” She gave you a wink before adding. “Be ready tomorrow. We leave at dawn.”
“Well everything I own is borrowed from Dick, so I’m already ready. Unless I should get back into my toga.”
She glanced over your attire, “It would be preferable. Jeans are too restrictive, and I have a gnawing feeling there is going to be a fight ahead of us.”
“You too, huh?”
Diana nodded with affirmation before heading back inside. You did not follow, you needed time to think, you needed more time to hone your skills. Zeus had trained you in Olympus and made sure all your opponents were stronger than you…but it had always felt different. That was training and though your opponents could have easily subdued you, they feared Zeus’ wrath and didn’t dare harm you. Even Hera’s bribes couldn’t even phase them. You just were hoped that once back in Tartarus, back in a land of the gods, your body would feel like your own again. Somehow in the back of your mind, you knew that would never be true again. It would always be different now, you couldn’t put a pin in why – though your suspicions kept trailing to Dick.
**
Diana approached Bruce and Dick, who were discussing their own plans in the matter.
“You too need to tell her how involved you actually are. She’s worried about you.” Her eyes could drill holes into Dick’s. “I know it would ease her mind, if she knew that you were capable of handling yourself. I have a feeling Zeus will not give up easily, he is not used to defiance. There will be a fight.”
“We can explain on the way to Themyscira.” Bruce’s voice was low and unfaltering.
“Bruce, we’ve been over this. I can’t just bring you to Themyscira, and I especially can’t bring you to Tartarus. Mortal men do not go to Tartarus unless they don’t plan on coming back.”
“Well I’m going. You haven’t seen her. What Zeus is doing to her in these dreams.” Dick shook his head, “No, I’m not letting her do this alone.”
“My mother is not going to like this.”
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queennicoleinboots · 3 years
Text
Foraging with Count Vanilla, part 2
Count Vanilla, Mr. Williamson, and I were hungry again. Mr. Williamson and I went to the store and bought:
Simple organic truth brocolli cuts
Simple organic truth butternut squash
Simple organic truth cut corn, no sugar or salt added (Eat your heart out Wynona Parmello-Grant, FreeLee the Banana Girl (if you're still relevant), and Count Macrula. We found the corn.)
Simple organic truth sweet potatoes
Dr. Praegar's Californication burger
Red hot chili peppers
Lemon cayenne Kavana probiotic elixir
Honey
A seeded watermelon
Skinny popcorn
Lily's dark chocolate bar
Hershey paydays
French Nutpods' Creamer
Good Karma Flaxseed milk
Unsweetened Blue Diamond Almond Milk
Half and Half
Comforts Baby Water with minerals added, no fluoride
Non-alcoholic Budweiser, canned 12-pack
Sliced Jarred Peaches
Diced Jarred Pineapple
Amy's vegan Maculoni Pasta and Cheeze
Dried blackeyed Peas, featuring sliced fingers of Nelly Fertardo
Non-binary Rice
Rudy's white rice bread
Amy's green tamale
Daiya Tex-Mex Burritos
Earth Balance soy-free margarine
Safe Catch Elitist Tuna
Safe Catch salmon
Safe Catch Garlic and Herb Tuna
Red onion
Simple organic truth red potatoes
Coconut Thai Portabella Mushroom Mix
Simply Garden Ragu Sauce
Organic English Cucumber
Distilled water
Hydrogen peroxide
Rubbing alcohol, 73 percent alcohol, 27 percent tears of plebians
Count Vanilla and I were then debating about what kind of butter we would buy for my continuing saga of cooking. He rolled his eyes and tried to tune out my speech of trying to dissect the ingredients of sweet cream and salt. I even had questions about what the cows ate and what type of grass they consumed. I even wanted to know what fertilizer the farmers used to enrich the soil the grass was grown in.
Count Vanilla's attitude was that we would die from the flu, diabetes, 5G radiation, high blood pressure, a heart attack, a government agent shooting you from a tree if the government wants you off the face of the Earth, starvation, or the jab, so he didn't care about what the cows ate or what were the ingredients of food products.
I am vain as fuck, so I care about my looks, health, diet, immune system, and lately, my smile. I have questions about food integrity. Mr. Williamson and I had that in common, and we were both scorpios born in October. We foraged for similar food.
Joebear, my black bear sexy husband, ate very similarly to us. He was a Taurus who grazed on mostly healthy food. His favorite food was vanilla ice cream with red grapes and cinnamon. He ate normally and was no longer a vegan. He used to be a vegan cub, but he questioned himself after a while and started to eat fish again.
Count Vanilla was an Air Bear who ate almost everything in sight. He hated coffee or hot drinks. He was usually drinking Southern sweet tea. He also smoked on occasion, but usually not during important meetings because he was afraid that he was going to be judged by the other members. Hardly anyone else in the series smoked except Peter W. Parker very occasionally.
As a matter of fact, Count Vanilla needed to go outside and smoke after we shopped. He lit a Oldport cigarette and puffed it. A female panda bear sat outside with him and smoked an Alpaca cigarette. They growled back and forth. I assumed they were talking about food.
"Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy," Count Vanilla said.
"Nice to meet you, Joileen," I said.
Joileen looked at me and then looked at him. "She's a goat. Who's your father?" she asked.
Count Vanilla stared at her, blinked nine times before he growled. "Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny," he said. "She's not my birth mother."
"Just wanted to make sure," Joileen said.
Count Vanilla stared at her and blinked nine times. "You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal," he said.
"And? White cubs have a compulsion to repeat themselves up to nine times depending on their age appearance," Joileen said as she stared at him.
Count Vanilla giggled nine times. "Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct."
"I take it you are not used to panda bears," Joileen said.
"Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope," Count Vanilla said.
"There aren't many panda bears that come to our meetings," I said.
"You haven't been in the right areas. On this planet, it's on the other side of the world. Like, that part of the Green Planet is overrun with panda bears. There are a few pockets of panda bears in the forests here. I'm a member of Erudite Bears of Laatharah, Glorgia," Joileen said.
"There were literally two pandas that were in our organization on Earth," Count Vanilla said.
Joileen burst out laughing. "Earth? You're from Earth? Oh God, the panda bears from Earth are the laughing stock of the panda bears of the galaxies. Sort of like the United Emirates of Chinta being the laughing stock of the nations of this planet. Jeez. And I thought that I was kind of retarded. Uuuuuugggggghhhhh. You can't use that word anymore. Political correctness has affected every multiverse. I want to find the multiverse that remained in the 1990s, a time when political correctness didn't exist."
"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes," Count Vanilla said. "That's one of the six or seven words you can't say. Are you questioning my intelligence?"
"Not directly. Indirectly," Joileen said.
"I had to take an IQ test before getting on the ship to get here. Those that scored less than 85 had to ride the short spaceship. That spaceship landed in Watuna, Glorgia. That city is five miles west of Athenia. I scored 103. I rode on the bigass space ship. You probably saw on it on the news," Count Vanilla said.
"You have an average IQ. Mine is 155. And yes, that spaceship is legendary. It takes up a good seventh of all of Athenia. I'm sure bears live on that ship," Joileen said.
I'm dumbtarded compared to her. On a good day, I have 144 IQ, but I usually my IQ is 120. My IQ is still average compared to most people but pretty good for a female.
"Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Yes, a lot of bears live on that ship because it was a cruise ship for the three days it took us to get here," Count Vanilla said.
"Do you live on that ship?" Joileen asked.
"No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer," Count Vanilla said.
Joileen chuckled. "You're hilarious. You're an actual polar bear."
Count Vanilla discarded his cigarette before smoking another. "Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub," he corrected her.
"You're literal AND compulsive. That's incredible. What's your number?" Joileen asked with a smile. She had smoking stains on her otherwise well-formed bear teeth
"Nine," Count Vanilla said. "Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine."
"I meant telephone number," Joileen said as she stared at him with her green eyes and giggled.
"Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh," Count Vanilla said. "It is 786-423-1905."
"Great," Joileen said as she plugged the number into her smart computer phone. "My number is 110-110-0110."
"Binary?" I asked.
"Very. And my telephone number. It means 'I don't give a fuck. I'm rich bitch.'," Joileen said.
"Young Jeezy?" I asked.
"Yes. Not Xara Si's 'I'm Broke,'" Joileen said.
"I'm Xara Si," I said.
"I'm aware. But my telephone number was created before I heard your song. Your song is humorous and true at the same time," Joileen said.
"Thank you," I said.
"You're welcome. Count Vanilla, I plan to call you soon. I must continue my forage. It was lovely chatting with you both," Joileen said as she started to walk away.
"Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay," Count Vanilla said. "I look forward to my phone ringing."
"Nice to meet you, Joileen," I called before I spoke to Count Vanilla. "Should we continue our forage?"
"You can. I already found what I was looking for. The only things that would make this moment better would be Mommy Cream and Mommy Chocolate," Count Vanilla said.
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Text
Wanderlust Adventures
Chapter 16
Reader x Bucky!Travel Blogger; Social Media AU
Series Masterlist
[a/n: This will be the second to last chapter of the series. Thank you for supporting this series! Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. If you reblog I will comment back. This is a sub-blog so I cannot reply back to replies. Again thank you for all the love on this series.]
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Y/n arrives outside of Bucky's mom's house in Brooklyn. Steve was waiting for her outside, like he said he would. He helps her with her baggage.
"Thanks." She says.
"No, thank-you." Steve replies.
She notices his appearance, very different from how he looked in Europe. He was clearly trying not to break down himself. Y/n gave him a hug, he let out a short sigh and hugged back tightly.
"How is he?" Y/n asks.
"Not good. He hasn't eaten anything since we've been back. Sam and I have been taking turns keeping an eye on him." He tells her as they walk up the front steps of the house.
Steve abruptly stops right before the door.
"Just want to give you a heads up. It's a bit of a mess in there. He went on a bit of a rampage and broke a few things," He warns her, "And Bucky doesn't look how he left you."
She nods her head, understanding what he was telling her.
Y/n started to feel like maybe she shouldn't be here. Who is she to Bucky? Who is she to come in here and help a man she only met two weeks prior. But if the people closest o him thinks she can help, then it's worth the shot.
As they walk into the door she's greet with someone yelling and banging on a door. She and Steve move farther into the house, Steve placing her luggage in the living room. She quickly took a look around to notice the damage Bucky had done, trying not to step on broken cups, plates, or picture frames.
"Bucky, open the door!" Sam yelled, as they found him in the middle of the hallway outside a door.
"What happened?" Steve asked.
"He locked himself in there and refuses to let me in. Or answer me." Sam explains, finally noticing Y/n with Steve.
"Thank- you for coming." Sam greets her with a tight hug.
Steve looks at her with pleading eyes, then back towards the door.
"I can give it a try." She whispers.
"Thank-you." Sam says, "We'll give you two some space."
"We'll be cleaning up out there. Just yell." she nods.
Sam and Steve left her alone in the hallway. Y/n took a deep breath and knocked on the unknown door.
"Bucky. Hey it's Y/n." she said, pressed against the door.
On the other side of the door, sat Bucky frozen at the sound of Y/n's voice.
"Bet you weren't expecting to hear my voice." She tries to keep it lighthearted.
"Steve called me. He and Sam are really worried about you. He also told me what's going on. I am so sorry James. I can't even imagine what you could possibly be going through." She paused for a second, "I'm here if you want to talk, or you just need someone to sit with you."
She waits outside the door quietly for a minute, before she hears some quiet movements from the other side. Then she hears the unlocking of the door, and some more shuffling around.
She took another deep breath, before opening the door.
She walked in and softly closed the door behind her. She took a look around to discover that this must've been Bucky's childhood room. She then notices Bucky sat on his bed, facing the window, his back towards her.
She made her way towards him, and took a seat to his left.
"Hi." she softly said, looking at his side profile.
"Hi." He very quietly said, that she wasn't even sure if he said anything.
He looked at her. She finally understood what Steve meant. He looked so broken, clearly having not slept since arriving, the dark bags under his eyes letting her know that. The sight alone broke her heart. 
She slowly brought her hand up to his tear stained cheek. Gently caressing his cheek. Bucky closed his eyes at the gentle touch, leaning more into it as she softly rubbed it with her thumb.
No words being said, just a comforting silence enveloping them. Y/n not wanting to push him to talking when he clearly didn't want to.
Bucky stopped her hand, she was taken back until he rested his head on her shoulder. She relaxed at his touch, wrapping her arm around him as best as she could. Just holding him.
After a few minutes of silence she looked at her shoulder to find Bucky had fallen asleep.
She smiled, finally he'll get a moment of peace. She slowly moved his head off her shoulder, laying him down on the bed, then placing his feet up as well. She grabbed a blanket at the foot of his bed to cover him with. Placing a soft kiss to his forehead before walking away.
As she was starting to leave his side, she felt a hand grab her wrist, she looked down then back to the man it was connected to.
"Stay with me. Please." he sadly said looking up at her.
"Of course." she softly smiled at him.
Y/n took her shoes off and climbed in next to him, where he had scooted over making room for her. She laid with her back to him as he wrapped his arm around her, cuddling up against her.
"Thank-you for coming." he whispered against her neck.
"Anytime." she replied, lacing her fingers through the ones that held her.
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[Social Media AU]: Y/n is a popular travel blogger, and a freelance travel writer for a magazine. She travels the world with her two best friends, Valkyrie who is a freelance graphic designer that the reader “drags” out of bed to see the world, and Carol who’s a new up and coming model. This is the first time in a year all three girls are traveling together due to Carol’s new busy career. A month long European excursion, that might end up being their last trip together due to their lives taking them elsewhere. Bucky Barnes used to be a model but now travels the world with his best friends. He has a hard time commiting to one thing, which is why he loves to travel so much. He travels the world with his two best friends, Steve who runs a gym in Brooklyn and Sam, who works for a popular food magazine where he gets to travel and eat all the food he wants. Bucky has once again convinced his childhood best friends to join him on a month long trip to escape the trapped feeling of being back in New York. Steve and Sam are worried about Bucky and his constant need to runaway from his issues, they’re hoping this trip will be an eye opener for their friend. Inspired by: @geosaurusrrex’s social media AUs.
To support my ko-fi
[Tagged: @neerness @free-2bmee​ @veronawrites @malionnex @sickeningly-sweet-honey @ravenkake @lolychu @angstybadboytrash @ghost-brocolli @quokkatrash @whothehellisbucky @everything-is-awesomesauce @take-me-to-ny @chloemac86 @smolandrare-coffee-bean @p-marie-sp @kakakatey @thetired-bi @nerdgirljen @itsgiorgiaz @bitchwhytho @hobodolly @marvelousstyles @a-book-pressed-rose​ @moshymosh​ @randomthingsthoughts​ @xjiasx​ @momobaby227​​ @thewackywriter​​ @meganlikesfandoms​ @awesomeepossumm​ @emo-ish-but-in-mcu​ @ihaeresortedtonothingness​ ]
[Permanent tagged: Permanent tagged: @definitelynotafangirl @1awesomeash @princess-evans-addict @geeksareunique @sebbbystaaan if you’d like to be removed just ask and I’d be happy to do so]
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bepp-ers · 4 years
Text
Headcanons #2 [1-A girls edition]
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bakugo wtf the fuck are you doing there ??? anyway here are my headcanons for what it’d be like to be best friends with each 1a girl
Jiro:
firstly
i’m so gay for her
also random order of girls
i spun a wheel literally
anyway she’s a good friend
she’s always there for you
and you gotta be there for her
like
she won’t ditch you ever
also you’re the person she confides in with music things
:))
please please please hug her everyday
she likes hugs even though she doesn’t seem like it
that one emo friend™
ughh i’m gay and so are you now
she’s gay too so
;)
Hagakure:
she may be invisible but i love her
super girly
but that’s okay
you two both shop together i broke my enter button heLP--
nvm fixed it
be it clothes or groceries you guys shop for it
she’ll help you decorate your dorm
plushies and bows galore
it may not be your style
so you’ll have to say something if so
but a few in the corner wouldn’t hurt
:)
also
aTTACK HUGS !!!
seriously
she will bombard you with hugs when she sees you
walk to school with her
she’ll gush about guys to you
and you can back
girly friend™
Mina:
asjdvkldgk
where do i begin
so gay for her <333
Mina is chaotic bi energy defs
she also initiated the friendship
flirting
lots of flirting
;)
but it’s cool
she’ll also point out people she thinks are cute
which includes you
so much PINK
matching bootie shorts
they say “eat my dick”
sending each other memes at 4am
“hey [name]”
“yea”
“lemme tap dat”
“hell yea”
you guys are a wreck
honestly
but you won’t find closer friends anywhere
Tsuyu:
oml she’s adorable
like
aaaaaa my h e a r t
she’s a little tough to read as a person
but as her best friend you know all
you can usually tell what she’s thinking
but she knows you 100x better
like you’ll tug the corner of your mouth down a little
and she’ll be like
“oh is Bakugo annoying you, kero?”
magic :)
but you guys are open
and sometime she has nightmares about you getting hurt
so you gotta comfort our little froggy
also
you just gotta ask in a text
“so if you can do what a frog does”
“can you”
“can you change into a dude????”
you never did get the answer to that question
Yaomomo:
out of all girls
i am most gay for her
she could create a gun and kill me
and i’d say thank you queen
you guys have been friends for as long as you can remember
your families have partnering things for their companies
idk you don’t really care
what you care about is the amazing goddess you were fortunate enough to befriend
you
are
so
gay
for yaomomo it’s unbelievable
and uhh
she’s pretty gay herself
she thought you’d stop being friends after she told you she was a lesbian
but you were like
“ack-- marry me you’re too amazing!!!”
“i also like girls”
“seriously marry me”
you flirt a lil with her
but she’s so innocent
also a very big mum
sugar mama???
jk jk
unless.........?
ahh i love her
Ochaco:
last but by no means least
she’s so cute !!
you were friends with midoriya at middle school
and at u.a he made friends with her
and you were just
aosdfong midoriya is friends with such a cute girl ?!?!
howww ??
you can relate to her financial problems
broke af™
but you guys help each other out
you’re both the same size 
you’re thiccer than a sniccer
you like em big and chunky tho
so you share clothes
woot woot!!
“hey is that my shirt?”
“are those my jeans?”
“yea”
“yep”
“nice”
“you suit them”
so wholesome
she’s too adorable for her
you guys often get mocha an stuff together
and who knows
she leans more towards boys
but there is a slight chance she could like you more than brocolli over there
<3
okay thanks i’m trying a new format that’s got more jokes in it lmao. feel free to request please i need ideas and also i am one huge simp for like all the1a girls. also midnight, kendo, mirko, mt. lady, ahhhhh i have a boyfriend but girls tho :)) jk i love him a lot but i still have crushes on anime. k bye
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katsukikitten · 5 years
Text
Meal for one
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You groan silently as you slide agaisnt the kitchen counter. The microwaves hum the only sound. Your body screams as you reach for your water and you snarl at the audacity of the bottle to be placed so far away.
Training was getting harder and longer. Especially now that your third year was quickly approaching. Lucky enough to still be with your friends, well more your family now, that was class 1A. You had been late to dinner tonight, well more like every night since your second year ended, you were studying and working your ass off in training to try to keep up with your amazing peers.
One more so than the others. Not that he would notice.
At least not anymore.
You are so lost in thought that it takes you several seconds to realize that the microwave is counting down from five.
You try to catch the microwave just before it ding but sadly the sound seems to echo in the overly sized kitchen as you growl to it to shut the fuck up.
When you remove your meal with unsated anticipation, eager to eat as you haven't had the chance all day. Your stomach growls audibly as you set the burning hot container on the counter.
You pull back the flimsy film all for your mood to sour.
Your little meal for one was cooked far too long, it needed only three minutes but you hit eight by mistake in your haste. And it didnt help that the display on the appliance only half worked.
You stared at the sorry shrivelled up pieces of chicken in the now mushy brocolli and fought back your frustrated, exhausted, borderline giving up on this whole hero thing tears.
All you wanted to do was eat your pathetic meal and get some rest before the new semester started tomorrow.
Was that too much to fucking ask?
The universe seemed to think so.
"Oi." His voice calls behind you and you stiffen.
The voice of the boy, well now becoming man, that you've been avoiding since that accidental and very drunken kiss at the beginning of the summer at that party that Mina just had to fucking have.
"Why are you making so much damn noise? I can hear you all the way in the living room." He growls and you sigh.
The two of you could have been called friends.
ONCE.
But no longer.
Suddenly you're brought back to the party.  The loud music of the memory competes with the heart beat in your head as you see his perfect face.
The room spins, you giggle placing your lips so quickly onto his after confessing.
"I've always wanted to fuck you Katsuki-kun. But not that one and done shit either."
He stiffens beneath your lips, pushing you harshly and you stare at his face.
Contorted in horror and rage.
You really fucked it all up.
You tongue your cheek damning your brain for being such a glutton for punishment.
"Yea yea I know this fucking extra does it all wrong all the time." You bite trying hard to control your voice. You slam your meal into the trash as deep red eyes follow your movements.
"You cooked it to trash it? You idiot." He spits and you grip the counter top to keep yourself from encircling your hands on his throat.
"Yea, that's how I eat now. Burn it to fuck all and then have sleep for dinner." A bitter laugh escapes your lips before your voice betrays you.
You clear your throat, keeping your head down while burning tears spill onto your cheeks as you start to make your way past the muscular hot head. Youd sell a part of your soul to have Toru's quirk right about now.
Sadly you do not and Bakugou grips so tightly onto the crook of your arm you'd think he was apprehending a criminal.
You make the mistake of giving him a harsh glare out of instinct, eyes still rimmed with defeated tears. You watch as his eyes narrow to slits.
As if he could see into that fucked up head of yours.
He pulls you back harshly and slams you against the counter top. The handles to the lower cabinets bite into your ass and you half yelp before gripping onto his arm tightly.
"Bakugou." You growl so lowly you feel him tense, "I'm not in the mood."
"Nether am I." He stares into your soul for a moment more before he lifts you light as a feather onto the countertop, he forces your legs open so his body can fit arms trapping you on either side.
So close that the sides of his thumbs dig into your thick thighs and hips.
He looks you over in your next to nothing training outfit of a sports bra and too tight too short shorts.  He takes silent note of your skin tone and how it is lackluster when normally you glow after a work out. His eyes find the deep bags beneath your own next before he sucks his teeth at how far you've let your body down.
Pushing it to exhaustion and not even fueling it properly.  He butts his forehead to yours angrily and with enough gusto that a bruise begins to form on both yours and his third eye chakra.
"Ow what the fuck?!" You rub at it harshly.
"Dont. Fucking. Move." He says as he backs away, eyes glued to you before he turns his back to rummage in the fridge.
He makes quick work of starting some sort of PROPER meal for you as you sit by the stove top, for once obeying his command.
Though you'd do anything to take back that kiss and have your normal rapport of teasing back. Your blush is delayed as you realize how close he made himself to you, at how close his lips were and you feel the ghost of his thumbs in your hips.
You swallow your desire as his horrified face flashes in your mind. You distract yourself easily as you watch him saute the chicken perfectly slowly adding the vegetables before adding the bean sprouts last. He opens the cabinet to grab a fresh plate only to be greeted by an empty shelf.
"Fucking really?" He hisses staring at the overwhelming pile of dishes in the sink. You begin to ease yourself down from the counter to wash a plate.
It's the least you can do considering he made you a whole damn meal at 1130 at night. Sacrificing his favorite movie for your shitty sake.
Your movement alerts him and he whips his head faster than you've ever seen him before.
"Didn't I tell you not to fucking move?" His expression matches his tone, dark. You hoist yourself back onto the counter  before placing your hands up in surrender.
He grumbles as he cleans and dries your dish and utensils before finally plating the dish with such meticulous detail that it should be served in a restaurant instead of to you. You sigh reaching for the fork and reluctantly take a bite.
You moan from the delicious melding of flavor before your scarf the whole meal down.
You're so absorbed in your meal that you almost forget about Bakugou even as he moves around the kitchen to clean his mess. You dance as you eat, taking bite after mouth watering bite. You pout audibly when your fork scrapes agaisnt an empty dish.
"Heh." The sound pulls you from your bliss and you're met with a staring Bakugou. Suddenly you are hyperaware of the whole situation.
Katsuki didn't cook for anybody and you couldn't remember the last time he had cooked for just you. You shrug it off as you think of something clever.
"So what do I owe you for the meal?" You tease leaning closer to him as he watches you.
"A kiss." He retorts with a cruel smile as you look away.
Cheeks burning with rage and embarrassment.
"I..." You swallow your pride, "I'm sorry okay Bakugou?"
"What?" He snaps.
"I said I was sorry Bakugou don't play deaf."
"Not that." A hiss, "What is my name?"
"Bakugou." You say slowly as if he were dumb to which his eyes narrow.
"Try again, Y/N"
You glare, dumbfounded, you hadn't spoken to him majority of the summer. Hell youd barely been in the same room as him and so suddenly he wants you to say his name?
"Katsuki." You offer dryly after his stare does not let up. He gives you a look as if expecting more. You snarl before biting out.
"Katsuki-kun."
"That's not how you normally say it but I guess I can still reward you." He produces your favorite chocolate, the kind that's hard to find and your eyes widen.
"Ah so I did remember right." He teases as you reach for it. He pushes agaisnt your stomach until you stop leaning on him to get that damn sweet treat.
"Please Katsuki-kun?" You allow that old softness into your voice that you only reserved for him. He stops for a moment, making good work at hiding the heat creeping on his cheeks as a mean smile sets on his kissable lips. He positions himself back between your legs, your knees rest slightly onto his hips.
"Open wide." He says placing a single square onto your outstretched tongue. When you moan from the melting chocolate and close your eyes he bites his lip.
He had almost forgotten all about the sparkle in your eyes, the way your voice said his name like a prayer and the sounds that you made.
He swallows thickly as you hold out your tongue for more.
He pushes thoughts of you like that on your knees away. Biting the inside of his lip and damning you for kissing him that day.
For opening the flood gates on what he was so desperately fighting against.
"This time close your eyes and keep your mouth shut."
"Why?"
"Just do it." You obey and wait eagerly for more chocolate. You do not feel him shift beneath you and you grow impatient and a little self conscious as you worry he is staring at you despite only a few seconds ticking by.
Suddenly you feel warmth on your lips as his have captured yours and you cannot help but moan against him as his hands squeeze onto your thighs. He nips at your bottom lip for entrance to which you oblige. His hands work up and down your frame before one finds the hair at the nape of your neck, fisting it to deepen the kiss.  Your hands fly for his shirt, desperately moving beneath it to do what you've always dreamt of doing.  Running them along his chiseled chest.
You kiss for awhile, long enough that by the time he is done you're both panting, adoring swollen lips.  You flush.
"Ba.." He gives you a look and you clear your throat, "Katsuki-kun what was that for?"
"For dinner dumbass." He says kissing you a final time before leaving you in the kitchen by yourself.
Your fingers fly to your lips and you think about how he tastes much sweeter than any chocolate you've ever fucking had.
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mittens-220 · 4 years
Text
Hatamaou Short Story “The Day When the Demon King, Hero, High School Girl, Demon General, Fallen Angel and Inquisitor Did Not Interact With Each Other” Lucifer’s Part
The Chinese translator only translated Lucifer’s part in this story, so here’s the english translation below.
The wind blowing in from the windows was considered rather gentle if it was early summer, the sun rays shining down was considered rather strong if it was spring, this was a certain Sunday during a season like this.
In Room 201 of the sixty year old wooden apartment Villa Rosa, with that kind of wind blowing on his body, he tapped on the keyboard of his old laptop in an ultra bored manner, repeatedly surfing websites and videos.
Then he felt hungry, taking off his earphones, when he lifted his stiff waist and bottom off the tatami and cushion and stood up.
"Eh? Ashiya?"
He sensed that, the househusband of Room 201 (it would  not be exaggerated to even term him as the Master of Room 201) --- Ashiya Shiro, was actually not in the room.
When did he leave.
Sweeping his gaze around the room, he noticed that on the simple kotatsu in the middle of the room, a note was left for him on the back of some flyer.
"I went to buy things. You can settle your own meal."
No wonder, so it appeared to be because he was wearing earphones, he did not notice the sound of Ashiya leaving the house.
Since he did not have memory of such a loud sound of someone leaving, it was possible that Ashiya left the house without even telling him.
"Ma, this is fine. Since I won't be nagged at, I'll just whip something up."
Urushihara opened the cooler portion of the fridge as he spoke, was silent for a while, then opened the freezer section.
Then,
"Saying settle my own meal, but what am I supposed to take and how am I supposed to settle my own meal......"
By the way, in the cooler portion, there were no ingredients left inside which could be used to fill the stomach.
And there were no instant foods in the freezer section, only frozen ingredients such as cabbage, brocolli and corn in packages which had been opened before.
As for snacks, as if it was a joke, there was none left, he also knew about this.
At this kind of time, if Ashiya was at home, asking him for food would meant that he would only receive complaints, Urushihara thought it was troublesome, so he would tolerate it if he was not too hungry. But when Ashiya was not around, then he would be unable to tolerate his desire for food, it was very mysterious.
Even though he had thought of using Maou's credit card to go online and order delivery or something, Ashiya told him to settle his own meals and left the house, so if the cutlery were discovered, it was easy to think that he would be the target of Ashiya's complaints again.
With this, the only method Urushihara could use was drastic measures where he would rather bend his diginity as a fallen angel.
Urushihara looked at Room 202 next to this room's closet, and in the next instant, relaxed his shoulders and shook his head.
"Before even talking about demons, when it comes to the matter of people asking for food, it should not be done even if one was human."
Urushihara was not so particular about conversing his own diginity, but he did not choose the option of asking Kamazuki Suzuno next door for help with regards to food.
Rather than the thoughts from Suzuno herself, he considered Ashiya's and Maou's reactions after this matter was revealed.
"The ability to judge things calmly would be lost after being too hungry."
If Ashiya went out to buy things, he should stay out too long.
Before that, he could just make a dish where he fried the frozen cabbage and corn in oil and salt.
As he thought this, he looked at the time displayed on the laptop, it was 1:30pm.
Urushihara repeatedly looked at the note Ashiya left behind and the time, mumbling to himself.
"He said he was going to buy things, but he's so slow, could it be......"
At this moment, this thought came to Urushihara for the first time, the possibility that Ashiya went out to work.
"Until Maou comes home today, I will be the only one at home?"
Then he suddenly realised, he was currently facing a food crisis.
Frantically, Urushihara seriously searched the cooler and freezer section again.
"......Damn it, it feels like I am being controlled by Ashiya at every step, how annoying."
In the deepest part of the freezer section, rice wrapped in cling wrap, with an amount enough for one meal, was sleeping there.
Urushihara pulled out the rice roughly and thawed it in the microwave, throwing various ingredients into oil and fried them, but at the end, he did not realise, there was still the option of taking rice out from the rice bag and cooking the rice himself.
Thoughts
Why did Ashiya leave a note for Lucifer that he was going out to buy things when he went out for work, that’s so misleading XD
Well.... it is true that Lucifer could have cooked the rice in a small pot. After putting the rice in the water, turn on the fire and wait for the water to boil, then it only takes 3-4 minutes after the water boils for the rice to be done. Though before cooking japanese rice in the pot, it’s best to soak them in water for 30 minutes first.
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ishipeverything33 · 4 years
Text
MHA meets Ok KO! LET'S BE HEROES
So I had this idea a while ago where Izuku was born with a quirk and has similar powers to K.O.
You know where he's super strong, and his punches are super powerful and his fists light up. But Izuku's fists would have green flames.
Except one day when Izuku was about 9 years old he was hit by this quirk that split his personality.
All his negative emotions manifested into a whole knew personality.
Izuku regularly gets beaten up and bullied by Bakugo.
He and used to be friends up until Bakugo got his quirk. Bakugo then had this idea that he was somehow better than everyone else and his personality changed drastically.
He started to be mean to Deku. Deku was the last person in his grade to get his quirk and was made fun of for being a late bloomer. One day Deku is following Bakugo and his gang into the forest.
Bakugo and his gang started making fun of Izuku which got him all worked up. Izuku punched his fist in the air only for a ball of green fire to shoot out from his fist and just barely miss Bakugo's head :")
Bakugo and his gang are shocked, and Izuku is kinda freaked out himself. He apologizes profusely to Bakugo for almost hurting him. But then his guilt is quickly turned into excitement as he realized that he his got his quirk! He and his mother were starting to worry that he'd never get one.
Bakugo's gang is more than impressed with his new abilities.
Bakugo is then filled with rage and jealousy as he's not the only one with a super cool and super powerful quirk anymore.
He then starts to bully Deku even more. Putting him down, convincing him that he was weak and  his quirk was nowhere as powerful as his. Izuku soon starts to believe Bakugo and his self esteem is very wounded.
That day Izuku had just gotten beaten up by Bakugo and his group of goons and lackies. And he went home crying {poor brocolli boi o(TヘTo) }
On his way home he encountered a villain that tried to convince him to join his side. Deku refused, but was then attacked and hit by a quirk that (as stated before) split his personality.
Since he was feeling such strong negative emotions: anger, sadness, despair, longing, the personality was created from all of his negative emotions.
His new personality is similar to TKO
At random times, especially when Izuku gets overly worked up, his personality switches to T.Deku or Evil!Deku.
His other self has the personality of villain!deku
Izuku feels extremely discouraged because all he's ever wanted was to become a hero. But how can he do that with his new dark side?
He now tends to lash out on other people without being able to control himself. He can see everything that goes on but it is like he isn't in control of his body.
Sometimes he's his sweet, energetic self and other times he's violent, hot tempered, cold hearted and bitter. And there's absolutely nothing he can do about it.
Eventually Deku learns to live with his other half and takes UA's entrance exam, which he gets in with his powerful punching quirk.
Deku befriends Uraraka and Iida.
After that training excercize where they were divided into villains and heroes, Izuku's dark side is revealed to his new friends.
After he explained what happened to him in the past, they understand and accept him.
Difficulties he must face is learning to accept himself for who he is. Learning to accept both of his sides. Most of all, learning to get along with his other half and working together is a synchrony.
Much like TKO, TDeku (short for Turbo Deku) is his own person.
He has his own personality, his own flaws and his own interests.
TDeku has slightly different powers. Powers Deku can only unlock when he's very angry or emotional. He can fly, his flames are red and so are his eyes.
And like TKO, TDeku is angry at the villain for creating him and he wonders why he exists in the first place. He wants to be his own person and he doesn't like the fact that its "Izuku's world and he's just living in it."
(Original quote "its KO's world and I'm just living in it" or something like that)
As a result of Deku's personality being split by his emotions, Izuku is very happy and bubbly and kind, and TDeku is angsty bitter and mean.
Izuku doesn't want to be put back together and have his personality combined again because he knows TDeku is his own person and he feels that getting rid of him would be like murder.
There are some occasions where Izuku can get angry and some where TDeku is nice.
Despite what some think, TDeku wants to be good and he isn't evil. Just very angry. (Like Bakugou)
Eventually Bakugo hates Deku less because of TDeku. He sees that TDeku isn't weak, isn't a push over, and is willing to fight if people get on his nerves. TDeku is also sometimes seen as evil. But he can tell he isn't evil, just very angry and easily agitated (as he is the physical embodiment of Deku's negative emotions).
Bakugo prefers Deku as TDeku, and actually can't stand his overly cheery self. Too bad Deku appears more being that he's the original personality
TDeku is basically incapable of being happy yet Deku always tries to cheer him up.
Like KO and TKO they can't take control at the same time. They need to take turns being in control. However, when one is in control, the other can see what is going on through their eyes.
Eventually, they more frequently switch who is in control. To the point that they can talk right after each other. Their eyes change colour depending on who is in control (green eyes for Deku, red eyes for TDeku)
Their appearance also changes.
Izuku looks like...well...izuku
And TDeku looks like villain!deku. Red eyes and dark marks under eyes. His tone of voice it also different from Deku.
Eventually they start to learn how to work in sync.
Although it is very difficult at first
They slowly get the hang of it as plot progresses. They are more powerful when sync because they can access each others powers. (Basically Deku's full abilities.)
Their eyes also glow yellow when they are in sync (Like a traffic light, green, red and yellow.)
Oh, and Deku and TDeku have a headspace much like KO and TKO where there's basically a mini word in his head. And his eyes are like screens which he can see the outside world through when they're not in control. And there's a little control panel they can use.
Oh, and eventually all of class 1A know about Deku's other personality. And they accept them both as individuals 😌. Although some of them are a little scared of TDeku when he is mad.
_______
If you you reblog this, please don't tag it as BakuDeku. Idk what I'm gonna do with this AU yet. It's just an idea I had although I may make fan art for it in the future and write a fan fiction for it.
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