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jasontoddiefor · 3 years

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Title: infinitely varied Ship: obikin Summary: Sometimes your husband decides to develop an artificial intelligence capable of free choice and something called a soul and succeeds in the middle of a Thursday night. Or, more concretely: he's in the middle of succeeding because said intelligence first has to learn how to speak.Also known as Obi-Wan and Anakin teach a tiny program called A.H.S.O.K.A. how to be something more than lines of code via the power of linguistics. AN: Happy birthday @ghostwriterofthemachine

Language is a process of free creation; its laws and principles are fixed, but the manner in which the principles of generation are used is free and infinitely varied. Even the interpretation and use of words involves a process of free creation.

Noam Chomsky

Life was a query of expectations, margins on doorframes, bucket lists, first loves, broken hearts, and happy middles because only fools would settle for a happy ending when they had so many decades left to live. The thought never failed to bring a smile to Anakin’s face, no matter how frustrated, remembering the simple way Obi-Wan had proposed. There had been no fancy dinner, particularly stunning outing, or anything resembling outlandish romantic gestures. Anakin would have appreciated them because every act would have been colored by Obi-Wan’s love, but now, older and wiser than the rash youth who’s fallen in love at first heated debate, he preferred the way their proposal had actually gone down. A quiet Sunday morning, eating breakfast together on the sofa while the news droned in the background from Anakin’s old radio, a hesitant “I don’t need forever, but I want the present”.

And, well, for all his genius, Anakin could be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but not when it came to this.

Married life was interesting.

Somehow nothing changed, except also everything. They had bought a real house, moved out of their old apartment and made more compromises than Anakin had ever thought himself capable of, for they hadn’t been like fighting an uphill battle but dancing together. It had made him happy to paint the entrance hall in the shade of green Obi-Wan preferred if he got to paint the kitchen in the light blue he wanted.

Obi-Wan got the attic for his office where his antique book collection looked right at home, and Anakin got the basement where the hum of his servers and the generator powering them annoyed nobody else.

It was as close to white-picket-fence as it could be with two queer men, no kids, a bratty cat, and an anxious dog under one roof. His childhood self would be appalled to see how much Anakin, always the whirlwind, had settled. To a nine-year-old, Anakin probably looked very adult.

Anakin, however, did not feel very grown-up, banging his head against his desk in the middle of the night. Obi-Wan had gone to sleep hours ago, and so had Anakin until inspiration had struck and he’d snuck out of bed to return to his favorite project.

A.H.S.O.K.A may not be a child, but Anakin certainly could relate to exhausted parents when they complained about their children in endless repetitions. To this day, Anakin didn’t know why his mother figured it would be great parenting to encourage her WarGames obsessed kid to dig into the world of artificial intelligence when WOPR nearly started a nuclear war, but he’d forever remain thankful.

Or, he’d resume being thankful when he could finally get A.H.S.O.K.A to learn. He’d rewritten her code a thousand times. It was his ever-constant companion, from his first awful-looking early 2000s website to its current incarnation. A.H.S.O.K.A could solve simple logic puzzles, given that he fed her enough data. Her solutions to tasks could be downright hilarious, but they were not enough. He wanted her to be smarter, better, capable of gaining true understanding.

Perhaps, it was a dream for the future and not a Thursday night.

Anakin didn’t have any work tomorrow morning as he worked as a freelancer, so he could afford to pull an all-nighter. But his dear husband had planned a nice afternoon for them, so Anakin should call it a night or a morning as a glance at the clock told him.

Staring at the many lines of code again, Anakin sighed and leaned back in his chair and took another sip of his by-now cold tea. Obi-Wan would definitely complain that Anakin had snatched his favorite mug once he got up and couldn’t find it in the kitchen. Anakin had bought it at the last linguistic convention Obi-Wan had taken him to.

Language is a process of free invention, it read in delicate cursive before the rest of the quote disassembled in pure chaos.

Huh.

Now there was a thought. Anakin got out of his chair and left the basement, haunted by fixed principles and infinite combinations. Up in the attic, carrying Obi-Wan’s computer downstairs again, Anakin thought on interpretations and free creations. He was as giddy and nervous as he’d been on the morning of his wedding day, which had started similarly early. Connecting Obi-Wan’s computer, and more importantly, the priced result of his thesis, to Anakin’s server felt a little like unwrapping birthday presents.

language_acquisition_prediction.exe

Enter.

II.

Obi-Wan was not surprised when he woke to an empty bed. Anakin had a habit of suddenly pulling all-nighters or getting up early before the sun even thought of rising. Given that he couldn’t smell breakfast yet, Obi-Wan deduced that Anakin had pulled an all-nighter again. He slowly crawled out of bed to avoid disturbing Artoo and Threepio sleeping to his feet. Obi-Wan was pretty sure he shared his bed more often with his pets than he did with his husband.

He walked down the stairs to the ground level and went by the kitchen to prepare himself a cup of tea. To his displeasure, Obi-Wan couldn’t find his favorite mug and so had to settle for another. After another thought, he decided to make a second one for Anakin, lavender this time so Anakin would hopefully crash after breakfast. He put both mugs on a small tray together with a couple tomatoes. Obi-Wan usually wasn’t one for eating a full breakfast on workdays – that was the influence of Anakin and his mother’s kitchen – but he was the expert in smalltime snacks. With both in hand, he walked down the second flight of stairs, down to the basement. As expected, he found Anakin at his desk, clinging to what was bound to be a cold cup, staring intensely at his screens, which were running one program or another.

“Good morning,” Obi-Wan greeted him and kissed Anakin’s cheek.

“Mo-orning,” Anakin replied, a yawn interrupting him halfway. “Wait, what time is it?”

“Eight,” Obi-Wan said. “How long have you been up?”

“Uuuh.” Obi-Wan didn’t need to see Anakin’s face to know the answer. “Did you even go to sleep?”

“I did sleep for a while!” Anakin argued. “But then I had an idea, I mean, look at this!”

Obi-Wan gave the screens a closer look. Despite common misconceptions, he was not technically illiterate. Privately, he blamed the fact that Anakin was quite well known for his tech know-how and Obi-Wan tended to talk more about literature given that he was filling in as a lecturer in the British Lit. department. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan had gotten his professorship with a program he’d written, and the code currently displayed on the screens looked very similar to a section that had given him stress nightmares. “Is that my thesis?” he asked.

“Yes, sorta, partially?” Anakin replied. “I kind of took it apart a lot and maybe corrupted it a bit, but that’s not the important part! Look what she’s doing with it.”

She could only refer to one person, intelligence. There were a few constants in their life, their new house the most recent one, and Ahsoka was probably the longest. Obi-Wan didn’t know why Anakin hadn’t set her aside already, he was happy enough to leave other started-never-finished projects lying around, but the last time he’d even just suggested such, Anakin had looked heartbroken.

Obi-Wan looked at the screen Anakin was pointing at and began to read.

script input: inhibition auditory input 1 designation skyguy: /ˌɪn.ɪˈbɪʃ.ən/ auditory input 2 designation professor: /ˌɪn.hɪˈbɪʃ.ən/ analysis: mismatch diagnosis: outstanding

script input: better auditory input 1 designation skyguy: /ˈbet̬.ɚ/ auditory input 2 designation professor: /��bet.ər/ analysis: mismatch diagnosis: rhoticism? query: define

The text continued for a while, though apparently Ahsoka only picked out the mismatched parts in her analysis.

“Is that ‘Must have done something right’?” Obi-Wan asked, the connection between the words suddenly starting to make sense.

“Yes!” Anakin grinned. “I wasn’t quite sure how to teach her sounds properly because I hadn’t equipped her with a sound analysis program before and I figured that if babies just learn by listening to their parents, Ahsoka could learn by listening to us.”

“So you fed her audio of us singing?” Obi-Wan wasn’t sure whether to be impressed, confused, or just plain tired but decided to settle on confusion for now and let the course of the conversation determine where they’d end up.

“That too, but I actually just started by playing old voice messages. I figured getting her used to just one phonetic inventory would be enough for now. Honestly, for the first hour, I wasn’t even sure whether that would be of any use because she had no symbols to connect the sounds to, and I thought using the IPA might bias her.”

Because, of course, Anakin never deleted any of Obi-Wan’s voice messages and just kept them on his phone. The fact that he just glossed over it as if it weren’t anything special either made Obi-Wan smile.

“It’s cute that you think we have the same inventory,” Obi-Wan commented. “But continue. You just let her listen to sounds and then? Don’t tell me you gave her written texts.”

Anakin rolled his eyes and confirmed another one of Ahsoka’s queries before answering. “No, I gave her the IPA then and let her listen to the full inventory and then analyze which ones we use.”

That made enough sense. Obi-Wan was reasonably sure it was a great deal more complicated than Anakin was lying it out right now, but it was still within the realm of possible and not downright sci-fi. There were enough programs that could analyze speech and filter out patterns, recognize even emotions and tone. Feeding data to a computer wasn’t too different from the way babies learned, though, as far as Obi-Wan knew from talking to people with children, they didn’t like their progeny being compared to lines of code.

“And you accomplished this by feeding my thesis program, which is meant to predict the language acquisition of children, to Ahsoka?”

“Yes, that, uh, happened more or less,” Anakin said, his nose scrunched up just so that Obi-Wan knew he wasn’t certain. “I’m pretty sure I like, wrote some of it down. Not all of it because I knocked out at like 4 a.m., which resulted in pretty interesting inquiries on the great vowel shift.”

Obi-Wan froze. “She’s asking about the great vowel shift?”

There was a difference in the size of the Atlantic between analyzing sounds and recognizing a six-hundred-year-old change in pronunciation.

“Not really,” Anakin said. “She just noticed the patterns? And had inquiries? We’ve been following up on it since, mostly by also giving her written text, but I think that might have backfired and confused her a bit. I’m thinking of synching up the input with a visible feed so she’d learn to associate an actual object with the sound, but I’m not sure whether that wouldn’t just lead to her matching data instead of actually learning its relevance. Can teach an AI what an apple looks like, sounds like, tastes like, but that doesn’t mean you can teach it what an apple is and all that.”

Anakin smiled impishly, and unfortunately, despite his generally messy appearance, Obi-Wan still thought he was handsome. “Please don’t cite my book back at me like that.”

Closing his eyes for a moment and pinching his nose, Obi-Wan tried to focus. This was not how he expected to start his free day. He needed to wake up and possibly grab his notes to sort out this mess. This almost made him wish the car was still wrecked and Anakin would spend all his free time fixing that. “Did you have to start her on English of all languages?”

Anakin was fluent in two other romance languages; it would have been much easier to deal with a French AI than an English one. Sighing, Obi-Wan looked at Ahsoka’s latest question and promptly frowned.

script input: bear auditory input: /beər/ match found: bare analysis: mismatch diagnosis: failed word formation query: bear = bare? query: deletion >bare<?

“How long has she been doing that?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Doing what— oh, that’s new.”

So Ahsoka had jumped from matching sounds to text to comparing sound to words and then referencing those words against one another. That was a logical step, but also a step Obi-Wan wasn’t quite sure she should be doing without prompting.

“She thinks bear and bare are related because they have the same sound. Didn’t really expect that turn of events. Should I show her those are two different words?”

“Does she even know what a word is yet?” Obi-Wan asked in turn.

“No.”

“Then teach her what a word is first— after breakfast. I want your pancakes.”

“You never want pancakes on a Friday.”

“My husband also never decided to rope me into teaching an artificial intelligence morphology before.”

Obi-Wan needed a proper meal for this. He could talk to his students on an empty stomach, but he could not deal with the latest brand of Skywalker insanity without something sweet first.

“I haven’t—”

Ever the negotiator, Obi-Wan decided to shut Anakin up with a kiss. “After breakfast.”

Ahsoka’s many questions could wait for an hour.

#star wars #obikin #obi wan kenobi #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #fanfic

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imonthinice · 3 years

Text

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 6/?

Word Count: 2.6-2.7k idk exact

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your name, A/N - Any name (your best friend’s name)

MUSIC IS INCLUDED THIS TIME! Please enjoy my personal music playlist, or at least a snippet of it.

TO THE PERSON WHO REBLOGGED AND SAID THIS WAS CUTE (at least the first part) you straight up made me cry omfg

Warnings: Swearing, gets really fucking heated at the end (no sex, yet), no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Outfit Context:

Y/N:

Jason:

(Cause I finally found an outfit I liked on the boy, men’s fashion isn’t my strong suit,,, heh :) )

“Sorry, is my mouth hung open?” he asked.

“Yes, sir. Very much so,” she mocked.

Jason closed his mouth and outstretched his hand for Y/N’s, cupping it with both hands and kissing the top of it.

“You just look so lovely, Y/N.”

“And you’re chivalrous, Jay. Now, should we get going?” she asked, putting her free hand on top of his two.

“Yes, let’s go,” he let one of his hands go of hers and lead her to the Porsche he brought with him, not intertwining his fingers with hers.

He opened the passenger’s side door and let Y/N get in, not letting go of her hand til the last moment he could hold it. He got in an turned on the radio,

It felt like a good night, for dancing in the moonlight,

In empty streets, well, everybody's got a reason why,

If we could only just get it right,

Maybe it will all work out like in the movies,

But I know Romeo must die before the ending,

With a final poison kiss delivered gently,

Because you don't get lucky twice, and that's the truth,

“Sing to me sweet just like my memory,

If New York City Still moves me then I’ve found something real,

I’ll be okay, I could go on for days,

But I just don’t have the courage that it takes to be real,

And even if it’s dark at least we’ll be together,

Slowly sinking in the Earth to lay forever,

You better grab a hold and hold on for your life,

Because you don’t get lucky twice,

No, you don’t get lucky twice,” She sung with the tune.

Without the Bitter the Sweet Isn’t as Sweet - Mayday Parade

“You, you have the voice of an angel,” he said.

“It’s not that hard to mimic works of art with my voice.”

“Did you ever take singing lessons?”

“I did when I was younger, so I could sing French lullabies to my cousins.”

He placed a hand on her thigh as he drove them through the countryside of Gotham to Metropolis, taking the long way on what seemed like purpose. So he could encapsulate the moment in his memory for as long as he knew her and what she was to him. She was an adventure waiting to happen, a love story not yet written to tell for ages, a rock ‘n’ roll song written to please the masses in hidden corners of the world.

And to her, he was a masterwork of intertwining memories of pain, sadness, luck and beauty. A mind of complexity she was just waiting to dive into and see how it functioned. A story behind the white tuff of hair he had, why he was jacked to the masses if he was a book nerd. A story of his favourite book and his favourite sibling, his favourite trope, his love, his pain, him.

The moments where she stuck her hand out the window and traced symbols into the Autumn air swirling past the two as they cruised down the empty back roads. When he laughed as she sang Reste by GIMS and Sting. He didn’t understand the lyrics, but she did, and she called it a love song. Well, he got the parts Sting sung, but French wasn’t a language he knew like she did.

“I guess being Bilingual helped you out massively with that one, huh?”

“It’s a talent I never knew I needed, apparently.”

“Well, you did know you needed.”

“That’s fair,” she laughed, “ I guess I did always need it as a skill.”

“Do your cousins speak English too?” he asked.

“Yeah, a bit? It’s better English than my father.”

“Can he not speak English?”

“Well, he can, just not well. But my mother is also Bilingual in English and French so they never had to worry about my father being bad at English. My twin sister and I grew up knowing both languages,” she rambled, still playing with the wind, “I guess it’s a one-up I have on a lot of people, being able to just talk and talk in another language, travelling advantage,” she kept going, Jason intently listening to her as she went on and on, he liked the silence being filled by her voice, “You know? You might know, I don’t know how you were raised to a T,” she finished.

“Well, I can assure you I only know English so you have that theoretical one-up on me, too. But I choose to see that one-up as something you can teach me as time goes on and we progress,” he paused, “If you’re down to get serious eventually, that is,” he panicked.

“Well, maybe we’re at that point where we can say we’re casually seeing each other and exclusive, but not serious. Hopeful, but not pressuring ourselves into something that’s going to be put under a lot of pressure as we go on,” she said, still playing with the wind.

“We’ll see about that after dinner.”

“Where are we even going?”

“Fancy little restaurant with a balcony facing over the city,” he assured.

“Really out here living for the moments?”

“Well, most girls crack under the pressure of the paparazzi, you, however, flipped them off, and that’s being rewarded for showing that you can’t give a fuck about those dingy ass tabloids and how they treat you, by taking you out to nice places,” he said.

She laughed, “I’m glad I’m never going to live that one down, it was really fun to do.”

“I hope it continues as we go along, I would hate to see that behavior change when it brings a smile to everyone who’s ever been harassed by paparazzi” when they pulled over for a second, Jason quickly loosened his tie a tad, “Honestly, I want to ditch this fucking tie,”

“It’s not you,” she said, “It’s just not.”

“And you know me that well to take that guess?”

“I could see you struggling with it from a mile away, Jason. Maybe the fancy restaurant isn’t us,” she laughs, “But we aren’t going to not take that dinner date.”

“Oh we’re so going to take that date, but I’m thinking from here on out we do whatever the fuck we want, no fancy dates. Thoughts?” he asked.

“Done deal,” she said.

----------------------------

In the restaurant, the two of them were basically the worst people to be there, it was levels of fancy that neither of them actually wanted, they both wanted simplicity, but they both thought the presence of the other person was enough of a takeaway from the completely wrong choice of restaurant. They had Dick to blame for this one, and Jason made that clear to Dick in a joking text while Y/N snuck off to the bathroom to ‘fix her hair, she was actually checking her breath.

Dick, this fucking restaurant is a god damn bust, man. We aren’t you and Barbara, that’s what we’ve discovered today. lol.

Bummer! We really like that place.

I can see why it screams Dick and Barbs.

You kissed her yet though?

No.

Wuss! Cat got your tongue? Just do it, man.

And at the same time, Y/N was texting A/N about Jason and what to do,

Girl! Thank you so much for reminding me to bring mints, my god, food ruins your breath so much.

You really want the pretty boy kiss huh?

No, I’m eating the mints to not kiss him, YES I WANT THE KISS.

Ha! Honesty is key, just go for it.

She laughed as she packed her phone into her dress pockets (Yeah there’s fucking pockets :) ) and went to leave the restroom to meet up with Jason again. To which, Jason had already paid and tipped the waiter.

“I could have at least helped on the tip, Jay.”

“I tipped him 200%, but if you want to drop more cash, go for it.”

“You tipped that much?” she asked while slipping in a 50$ she had on her.

“Of course, food service workers deserve a lot more than what they get, especially when they have to deal with terrible customers,” he said as he went and grabbed her hand again, not intertwining fingers again, “And my best friend, Will, he complains about people who don’t tip and praises people who quote ‘over tip’ but I think that he deserves 200% each bill for the shit he puts up with.”

“Did you tip him when we went there?”

“No, I called in a ‘No questions asked’ favour. And before you say anything, he did the same to make me babysit his daughter-”

“Your best friend has a daughter?”

“Well, he’s older than me, but yeah, he’s a single dad because her mum kind of sucks, lovely little girl, I’m her godfather.”

“Does she call you Uncle Jason?”

“Well, Uncle Jay, it’s like one of the only works she knows how to say properly, and Dada,” he laughed, “Great little girl,” he said, nervously, “This doesn’t change anything, does it? ‘Cause if he, knock on fucking wood, lord forbids, dies that will be my daughter.”

“Well, he’s not dead and you’re not worrying that he’s going to die, so nothing has to change. God kids are god kids, noble that you took on your best friend’s kid if, lord forbid, anything happens to the man, really,” she assured.

He sighed and kissed the back of her hand, “Then that is just a gift on top of what I did,” he smiled and lead her back to the Porsche once again, opening the car door for her and she slightly turned on the radio, he let out a small laugh to himself, he got the pretty girl. He got into the Porsche again and began backing out.

“There’s something about ditching a really expensive dinner date that leaves you wanting more,” she said, absent-mindedly.

“What kind of more?” he asked.

“The kind you see in the movies, fully exposed and adventurous, you know?”

“Well, we could always sneak into the Wayne Manor Gardens and dance the night away under the stars like lovers do,” he half-joked, placing a hand on her thigh again and pretending like he did it subconsciously, but he was hyper-aware, especially when he caught her smile as she laughed.

“Wayne Manor? With your brothers, sisters, dad, and grandfather?” she paused, “If you’re serious, then no, not tonight. If you’re pulling my leg then, hell fucking no,” she joked.

“Maybe one day, then, huh?”

“One day, for sure. When it isn’t scary to accidentally run into your family on their property running around with you,” she said.

“Well, we can always go into the Wayne Enterprises Ballroom and dance the night away, no one should be in the office for a while and even then since there are no classes in the entire school tomorrow you can just hide out in my office if we stay too long,” he paused to make sure she was still listening, “Security can’t question me because I’m Bruce Wayne’s son, and security is tight as fuck so paparazzi can’t get to us,” he paused to put a little bit of pressure on her thigh, “What do you say? Can I have this dance, Milady?” he half-joked.

“You want to know something Jason?

“Always, Y/N.”

“I took dance lessons when I was younger, can you Waltz?” she asked.

“Yes ma’am, I can.”

“Then I’m in, let’s go.”

-------------------------------------

She loved the feeling of being back in her new hometown, Gotham. So when they pulled into the massive black building, she felt even more welcomed, security at the gates did ask ‘Who’s the girl?’ but Jason just explained it very easily,

“You know that date of mine that flipped off the press and you lot loved it?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” the man responded.

“You can call me Jason, you know that. But this is that girl.”

And they were let through the parking gates and into the underground parking system, they had to travel surprisingly far to Jason’s reserved spot in the lot, but the did get there before it hit AM. Once out of the car, Jason grabbed her hand and they ran into the building’s employees doors. It was a tight squeeze, but the feeling of Jason pressed so close to her sent chills down her spine. They went through many halls and reached the Ballroom, and entering it was like a dream for her.

Walls lined with intricate shapes and colours, but the colours never brought away from the stage at the far end from the door, the curtains seemed to redden with each step towards them, the 3, maybe 4 chandeliers hung above her like crystals in the ocean, it was amazing and beautiful. Checkered floorboards to give it a little bit of dimension, but it was the same colour as the main wall so your brain and eyes wouldn’t hurt after looking at it. It was stunningly beautiful and that’s what drew her in.

When he grabbed her hand and put on Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine, pulling her close to his chest and slowly Waltzing her around the room, spinning her when it felt right for him to do. Neither of them worried about the sloppiness or how it looked to the naked eye because it was for them. no one got satisfaction like they did at that moment. And grabbing her for one last dip was Jason’s goal when the ending of the song hit, although out of breath and his face stuffed in her chest as they both panted, he did pull her up so they were face-to-face on the dancefloor that they wiped clean.

“Did I tell you that you look stunning, Y/N?”

“I think you mentioned it a few times, Jay,” she said, staring directly into his eyes.

“Well, I mean it.”

“And I’m going to mean this,” she paused, taking her hand and placing it on his cheek, “ The way your eyes are a green-blue tint makes me lost in them, they’re like a sea of this mind I find myself liking more and more every day,” she paused to put her other hand on his other cheek, “And the way your nose and cheek freckles frame them is amazing.”

And he went for it. Somehow when he pressed his lips into hers, it felt like they were meant to match, and they both opened their mouths to play the coveted game of tongue-war, but they didn’t play by the rules, it was soft and sweet but full of passion and love, not lust. His hands would travel to her waist and lightly grip her, while her hands would travel to his neck and drape around the back of it.

They pulled away at the same moment to take in air, something they had clearly been missing as they were connected, they both let out a small chuckle before she put her hands in his hair and went in for round 2.

This time it was hungrier, and they both played with the shapes of the other so much more as time went on, he would grab her ass and she would pull on his hair slightly before he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist and moved one of her hands to the nape of his neck, this time, they would break for seconds only to start moving towards his office, which, conveniently, had a couch.

To say he threw her on that couch would be an understatement, he fucking thrust her on that couch and climbed on top of her, it was like 3 days of passion and lust combined themselves in a matter of minutes from their first kiss to them meeting on the couch. They both knew deep down that it couldn’t escalate further than this, especially at 1 in the morning, but time moves fast when you’re connecting in this way.

They finally broke after their passionate exchange and he fell to her side and began to spoon her, “Worth it,” he whispered.

“Worth what?” she asked.

“It was worth it to take a chance and defy my anxieties to ask you on that first date.”

“I don’t like a reality where you didn’t ask me on that date.”

“Neither do I, and I’m positive of that.”

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imagesbyele · 3 years

Photo

the theme I don’t know how to describe because it has too many things featured in it and it will take a year or

aro-ace theme!

note that you are allowed to use the theme for whatever you want, change all colors, images (you want to make it a marvel thing? go for it! It’s personal and you want to use other flag colors? go pick those rainbow colors!), but my inspiration was, well, not having seen aro-ace themes before and wanting to make one. I didn’t upload background images but you have the option. Feel free to edit as you please, just don’t remove the credit or claim it’s yours!

as always in the source you’ll find the link to the post with static preview, code and instructions/extra credits.

theme is contained, responsive, super customizable. It’s free! But as always consider donating to my ko-fi as this was a lot <3 like or reblog if you use! (or just if you like it, if you want to!)

this post will have: what you can edit from custom page, the widgets/scripts used with credits and some explanations. Asterisks * next to something will indicate that more about it will be said in the linked post. I’d apologize for the length but it’s due to how many things I added to the theme and that you should know about.

now, what can you edit from your customization page:

-nearly every font and its color and size, so that if a font is by default bigger than others you can easily reduce the size. There is a select menu for the body font with all the fonts present in this blog, so you know what they are and can type the one you want for other eleents. I think I only left a couple to be edited from the editor, like your quotes posts if you reblog them a lot. This includes h2 as it’s what you use as ‘big font’ in your posts and h3 in case you want to personalize it and use it for something on purpose, as it has to be added to the html of the post.

-one of the new things:I used a gradient for the backgrounds of the big container, the sidebar and the posts container, but also of tumblr’s default music player (latter done initially following @octomoosey‘s tutorial then messed with by me hence no album art). See static preview posts. You can type the colors straight from the costomization page like this:

if you want one solid color you can just write, for example: black, black as it needs at least two. To bottom/To left/to top/to right change the direction. The only thing you need to edit from the html is if you want to go from linear-gradient (like you see in the sidebar) to radial-gradient (like in the big container which has green in the center and purple on the outside) and vice versa, if you want.

-you can also upload background images of the sidebar, container and bigcontainer and select the optional blending with the colors, which can be none and you only see the images or something like screen or hard-color and check the results (bigcontainer as an overlay gif on Screen now) -more typing: you can paste the symbol or the symbol code for the list items and the decorations around the post title, right now both being spades. *

-you can upload up to five background images if you enable the ‘changing background’ function otherwise only the first one counts. They will change when you refresh the page, thanks to @lmthemes

-you can turn on and off the music box (player3 by @glenthemes ), and if it’s enabled you can add two songs from the customization page (or go to the html editor and up it to four before it can get messy as it shows on hover), typing url, author, url of the album art, and song title. You already have We Are Golden by Mika as an example (takes a second to start due to the recording, watch out not to get scared if there is silence and then the first note)*

-optional searchbar in the sidebar with optional suggestions when you click on it (if you want them though you’ll need to go to the editor to type links and names, but you can turn it off and just keep the searchbar, like I said) also by glenthemes’ tutorials.

-the separator between text posts image is also optional and if turned on, you can also turn on and off whether the image is the avatair/portrait of the person who made the post, with a link to the original if it’s a reblog, or if you want the image to be one you upload yourself, 50x50px and it should resize to fit in (also with a link, in this case to the post itself so you can open it from the top of the page). One is the toggle button ifshowtinyimage, and the other is ‘tinyimageisthesource’, if you turn that off you upload the image yourself. If you add a source to your posts, it will appear among the permalinks regardless.

more under read more!

-besides all normal colors and borders you can pick the color of the border/glow/shadow (call it as you want) of three different categories, or turn it off: the mainglow for big elements like containers and sidebar and sidebar images, the audios glow for players like spotify, regular one or soundcloud. Finally the images shadow when inside your posts. The latter is set on inherit because it means that if an image is also a link like your tiny-image it will be of the same color of your links and change on hover. That is something you can only change on the editor by searching for color:inherit and change it to what you want, if you don’t want to turn it off.

-askbox colors have been changed with @eggdesign‘s tricks! look for ask_form in the editor and try changing the number of filter there to see more effects. Also the askbox never shrink, a fix by @whateverhtml -pinned post has a little banner, styled like permalinks.

-you can pick a color for top-info which are the date and notes. I left it empty because it automatically gets the default links color but you can pick it yourself.

-turn on and off unnested captions looks for textposts and for all other posts (as people who use xkit to edit previous posts will get blockquotes anyway and may not like the final result) thanks to @annasthms code. -blockquotes are of alternating colors, by @bychloethemes. You can obviously choose the same color if you want them to just have the one. You can also select the type of blockquote, if a solid line or dots or dashes. -you can choose if your smaller sidebar image, sidebarimg2, is an image you’ll upload or if it’s your avatar/portrait by toggling it on and off. If you don’t want sidebar images and you don’t upload any, there are instructions on top of the html to delete the border so you only see the sidebar bg. (basically just delete their box-shadow) -speaking of which, your title will wrap around the second image like in the preview. If that doesn’t work for you you can try changing sizes and font or by going to the editor and changing the margin-top so it’s out of the sidebar image’s reach and can be a “straight line” again (in case it doesn’t fit and the long title is cut in the wrong place)

-you can turn on and off a copy link of the post button on the far left of your permalinks bar, so people can copy the permalink from dash - also by glenthemes.

-navigation links have two alternating colors, odd links right now are black, even links are white, and their hovers are the opposite of that. You can make them all of the same color, in which case you’ll need to look for .navilink a:hover and change the hover color for both. If you have custom pages and enable the link to show it will be automatically added. To change the cat icons just search for ‘cat’ and replace as pleased. To change the ask icon because maybe you don’t have them enabled look for ‘envelope’ with your ctrl + f. You can type urls and titles of navi links from the custom page, the first two are automatically home and ask, there are three more under the description. All icons from font-awesome have a black border so the white ones don’t disappear on light backgrounds, you can change that looking for .fas

-you can select post-sizes: 400, 450, 500, 540. Whether the sidebar is next to the container or on top will depend on your post size and the screen width as at some point they may not fit. They always do fit on desktop though, and on screens that are smaller than 800px the sidebar is assumed to be on top and will have a max height of 300px (but you can scroll down). I couldn’t make the bigcontainer get bigger for giant screens as I can’t calculate the right size in which all post-sizes + sidebar will look good.

-lightboxes show images with a glow too. Speaking of which you get lightboxes as always, pxu photoset fix and video resizing fix all by @shythemes and with the bychloethemes fix. npf photosets fix by glenthemes. No href.li addition from tumblr when you add a link to a post by @magnusthemes.

-soundcloud player is minimal and its play button is the same color of your permalinks icons thanks to shythemes tutorial. spotify is also minimal, instructions to change it are there.

-tumblr controls are small and semi-transparent until you hover, also dark regardless, followed painthemes tutorial.

-chats are styled like imessages by ncrthlanes now deactivated, submit posts have at least the submitter’s url recognizable, reblogged asks also get a background for the answer as well as borders, link posts are styled as much as a link-post can be styled.

-there are already links and similar things written to be an example in your customization page but in any case you get instructions in the editor and everything is divided in sections as much as possible. Also I’m here for any questions.

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desbianherstory · 4 years

Note

are you a terf?

1. I’m tired of this but here is a post with some links answering related questions. Anyway, I’ve decided to do something unfortunately long-winded in this answer.

2. The term ‘terf’ was created in 2008 by Viv Smythe, a self-described “cis-het” woman who ran a feminist blog. She would post feminist news and events to this blog. In February 2008, she made one such post about a party to celebrate the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. A few comments were left on the post decrying Michfest due to the controversy over the festival’s policy on trans inclusion. Smythe replied: “I don’t intend to censor any mention of a feminist group or event simply because their feminisms may not be my feminisms.” A trans woman commented on the post saying that Smythe should have included a disclaimer: “An editors note saying that this festival was problematic. Very simple, and beyond fair, methinks. As in Note: This festival excludes a highly marginalized group of women, and is considered by some as problematic. As much as I loathe the actions of this crowd, they too have a right to be part of the plurality of feminisms… even at the cost of trans women’s lives (as in dead from lack of services) that have been lost to the atmosphere of exclusion promoted by their transphobic ideas.” Smythe updated the post with such a disclaimer.

An organizer for the party also commented on the post saying, “To report, we spoke with MichFest – They do not have a written policy, or any policy for that matter on Trans. Trans womyn are welcome to the party.” Smythe did not find this sufficiently convincing, saying that Lisa Vogel, organizer of the festival, needed to make a clear statement on the issue.

3. In her guardian piece on creating the term ‘terf’, Smythe explains that the February post about the Michfest party led to the creation of the term as “commenters sent me on a rapid learning curve regarding trans-exclusion issues both specific to Michfest and in general.” If you look to the actual post, it generated a very limited response: 7 replies from 4 users and they were all specifically about Michfest.

In any case, on August 17, 2008, half a year after the Michfest post, Smythe wrote a blog post denouncing ‘terfs’ (the first use of the term) in regards to the internet discussions on gender identity going on amongst other feminist bloggers. These discussions had nothing to do with Michfest and were in no way a continuation of the discussion going on in the comment section of the Michfest post six months prior. However, though the denouncing terfs post is linked in the guardian piece, the specifics of these feminist blogging debates are not mentioned at all. Instead, Smythe depicts Michfest as the start and center of the ‘terf’ term creation story. Indeed, she highlights the fact that a few days after the denouncing terfs post, she made another post about ‘terfs’, this time apologizing for having posted about Michfest at all and committing to never promoting a trans-exclusionary event again. She quotes herself as having written on Michfest: “I am aware that this decision is likely to affront some trans-exclusionary radical feminists (TERFs), but it must be said: marginalising trans women at actual risk from regularly documented abuse /violence in favour of protecting hypothetical cis women from purely hypothetical abuse/violence from trans women in women-only safe-spaces strikes me as horribly unethical as well as repellently callous.” In so doing, Smythe emphasizes that ‘terf’ was created to describe and denounce Michfest.

4. In the guardian piece, Smythe compares ‘terfs’ to racists: “Much of the factional divide here comes down to yet another gatekeeping argument about purity in feminism, perennial since the women’s suffrage movement, and this one has uncomfortable echoes of Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s arguments against extending voting rights to black men.”

It is unclear to me how a music festival organized by lesbians can be seen as equivalent to saying black men should not be allowed to vote, or how a music festival somehow results in anyone’s death from lack of services, or how wanting a female-centric music festival can be described as horribly unethical and repellantly callous. Disagreeing with Michfest’s policies does not make any of these statements make any kind of sense. They are more than hyperbolic; they are distortions. However, this has been the narrative consistently chosen and advanced about Michfest. Similarly, Jill Soloway’s Transparent directly compares Michfest to Nazi Germany. Somehow lesbians organizing a female-centric music festival in the woods is equivalent to white supremacy and genocide. Indeed, in an editorial for the The Bilerico Project, Barbra Siperstein somehow managed to compare Michfest to the Westboro Baptist Church (in addition to accusing Michfest organizers of penis envy).

5. The exact details of what happened at Michfest are not hugely important to this post. There are a number of resources that one can look into: Emi Koyama, TransSisters, Bonnie Morris’ The Disappearing L: The Erasure of Lesbian Spaces, Riki Anne Wilchins’ TRANS/gressive: How Transgender Activists Took on Gay Rights, Feminism, the Media & Congress ... and Won! etc. I’ve drawn my own conclusions but what matters here is how did a lesbian music festival become made into such a flashpoint? And the one and only answer is lesbophobia.

As Lisa Vogel reflected in 2018: “Michigan became a tool that trans activists and gay activists could wield against a larger homophobic mainstream culture. They could say, ‘This is an example of intolerance even in our own community.’ Gay men don’t come from a radical lesbian analysis so they don’t understand why we believe what we believe. [...] The press covered Camp Trans wildly, and I would try to respond. [The portrayal] was in a way that is straight up misogyny — by the gay press and the straight press. We cannot forget how defensive everybody is about having womyn’s space. It was kind of perfect for the straight press and the gay press to have someone hammering us about having exclusive space that was supposedly [from] within the community. All kinds of things happen within the gay male community that is exclusive of trans people, that is exclusive of womyn, that is exclusive of, for example anyone except bears. They have complete autonomy of whoever they want to include. It’s frustrating that this [exclusivity] is only held against womyn, I think it was used as a tool by the all-of-a-sudden exploding trans community to be pitted against these “nasty lesbian separatists.” [...] The reality is that Michigan already did not have the support of the gay community and we were an embarrassment to the gay organizations, who were all trying to be mainstream. And we were not trying to be mainstream, we are trying to live a different ethic and a different politic. No we won’t fly an HRC flag. No, we won’t do that.”

This also accords with the specific way that lesbian separatism is demonized. Lesbian separatism was literally modelled after the separatist movements created by people of colour. And indeed, many lesbians separatists were women of colour. In lesbian film-maker Pratibha Parmar's A Place of Rage, Angela Davis (also a lesbian!) specifically talks about the importance of separatism to women of colour. Yet lesbian separatism is viewed as some unique evil produced by uniquely evil dyke minds instead of a rational response to lesbophobia within feminist organizing and to misogyny within gay rights activism.

6. I think the history of the term ‘terf’ is important to understanding how it is used today. The woman who created the term has put forward a narrative where it was created in direct response to a lesbian musical festival in the woods; she does not say it was created to address transphobia amongst radical feminists, she does not say it was created to protest housing or employment or healthcare discrimination. She specifically tells us that discussing Michfest’s policies was where it began. Thus, while never naming lesbians, she advances a mean lesbians narrative. She, along with many others, advances a narrative where lesbians having a female-centric music festival is equivalent to denying people of colour their basic civil rights. And that is how it continues to be used today. We see lesbians being attacked as ‘terfs’ for literally being ourselves (being exclusively attracted to other female people) and for things of absolutely zero consequence (for saying that we would like to live with our partner in a house with a garden and a cat, for using the venus symbol, for joking that we don’t need birth control etc) and all of this is absolutely in keeping with how and why the term was created. Lesbian existence, lesbian culture, lesbian history becomes ‘terf’ violence. The mean lesbians are at it again. I have no interest in granting legitimacy to this term when its very origin is tied to demonizing lesbians and believe other lesbians shouldn’t either.

#mod post #cw homophobia

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silverwhiteraven · 3 years

Text

Wings of Broken White - Ch. 4

Tag List: @marichatmay

[ Posted on Ao3 ] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 3 ] [ Chapter 5 ]

[ Summary: Alya takes Marinette somewhere, and it turns cute. ]

Alya decided that Marinette wasn’t getting out enough despite the fact that they shouldn't be going anywhere when it was still late winter.

“Girl, you hardly go anywhere anyways unless it’s for someone else!” Alya argues as she dragged a snugly bundled Marinette down snow and salt dusted sidewalks.

“Hey, I went to the school’s Valentine’s party last month, that should count for something!”

Allya scoffed at the weak defense. “You were, like, a ninth-wheel, Marinette. Rose and Juleka, Nathaniel and Marc, Mylène and Ivan, Nino and I, we were the wheels on that bus. You on the other hand…” She trailed off to emphasize her point.

Marinette scoffed. “I think you missed a set of wheels, Als. Max and Kim were there. Chloé and Adrien showed up, too.”

“Max was there sporting an Aro-pride flag pin and keeping Kim company,” Alya shot back. “They were just being single-wheels, together. And Adrien, with Chloé? More like she had kidnapped him to a secondary location! Adrien clearly wasn't the one to decide to show up. And remember the color coded cups? He was using the one for the ‘Single, just here to support my friends’ category. Just like Max, just like you. So my point still stands: You need to get out more often, just for yourself.”

Marinette sighed, relenting. “Fine, but next time, I get to decide where I go, so no more surprise trips.”

“Yesss,” Alya pumped her fist in the air victoriously, her wings spreading out, too. Marinette laughed and pushed her hand back down to her side while she dodged out of the way of one fairly the overexcited wing.

“Anyways, where are we going? You said something about, ‘You’re going to love it, my treat!’” Marinette quoted in an exaggerated mimic of Alya’s voice, causing both girls to burst into giggles.

“Just a café,” Alya says coyly, almost teasingly. It made Marinette squint in suspicion.

“It wouldn’t happen to be the same café you mentioned two weeks ago on the Ladyblog, right? The one they planned to theme after Paris’s new heroes?” Marinette asked, teasing her friend right back with her confident guess.

“You remembered! Yep, that’s the place! And it’s not just any regular themed café, either. It’s a cat café,”Alya revealed dramatically, while spreading her wings again to wrap them both in a mock cocoon of unnecessary but playful secrecy. Marinette balked.

“Wait, so you’re basically taking me to a ‘Chat Blanc emphasis-on-the-Chat’ Café?”

Alya snorted, pulling her wings back. “Yes, but it’s actually called ‘Hero Rescue Café’. They work together with the animal shelters around Paris, most of the cats they have are available for adoption. The profits are even donated back to those shelters to help keep the animals cared for. Isn’t that cool?”

“Mhm,” Marinette nodded along as Alya continued to rave excitedly and lead the way to their destination. I wonder if they’ll have any cats that look like Blanc? Probably not. Blue-eyed white cats were already popular, and no doubt are even more so now. Not that I could adopt a cat anyways, but it’s a niche thought. Wait, why is it a nice thought? It’s not like I like Chat Blanc or anything, no way! I don’t do crushes! Oh, who am I kidding? Marinette groaned in defeat to her own thoughts, making Alya stop talking and look at her.

“Something wrong, Marinette?”

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you, I was just thinking about how sad I’m going to be if I see a cat I really want to keep but can’t?”

Alya nodded in acceptance of the awkward excuse, and Marinette sighed in relief. I can never tell her about my crush- I’m scared to find out what kind of match-maker she would try to be. Or even worse, tell me I have no chance! I mean, I know I have no chance, but still, ow. Would Ladybug have a chance? Wait, she and I are the same person! If I don’t have a chance, neither does Ladybug! Hold on, why am I even thinking about this!?

“We’re here~!” Alya announced, breaking Marinette free once more from her internal chaos.

“Is that a cat in the window? There’s a cat in the window!” Marinette let herself get distracted by the café and Alya laughed.

“Duh there's a cat in the window, it’s a cat café, what else would be in the window?” She teased, but Marinette only laughed.

“Well I know that, but I can still be excited over a cat, can’t I?”

“Save it for when we go inside,” Alya winked, opening the door for them both. There was a second set of doors past the first, and Marinette realized that they did the smart thing and made an enclosed entryway.

“Oh, this is to keep the cats from dashing outside, like at a dog park,” she mused, making Alya chuckle.

“Yeah, and gives people a fur-free place to hang up their coats. Oh, look!” She added excitedly, pointing to the opposite wall from the hanger rod. There was something that almost looked like a long shawl or a barber cape. Marinette recognized it easily. “They have wing-covers for patrons to borrow, in case we don’t want the cat’s playing with our feathers. That’s so thoughtful. They really went all-out on this place.”

Marinette smiled and nodded in agreement as she slid off her jacket and hung it up. “It really is sweet of them. Are you going to use one?” Alya shook her head.

“Nope. My wing’s are tough, I can handle a few clingy kitties,” she declared with a proud smile, and Marinette only chuckled as she opened the next set of doors for them both.

Unsurprisingly, Marinette enjoyed the café. She spent a lot of time admiring their logo that was embedded in the resin coating of their tables. The stylized lettering was inspired by some of the animal-themed Akumas. Then the entire name was encircled by the white belt of Chat Blanc and the red and black yo-yo of Ladybug. Symbolic of two heroes saving those in need. They really thought this out. Maybe Ladybug should show her respect here some time.

Surprisingly, the café’s cats also enjoyed Marinette. Alya was convinced they had met every single cat in the building before they even got their drinks. Marinette was just embarrassed and spent a lot of time spreading her attention between each feline before shooing them all off towards other guests. One of the cats, sleek black with yellow-flecked green eyes, was too stubborn to leave, so she let him claim her lap indefinitely.

But, completely unbelievably, the café got a surprise guest. Chat Blanc himself showed up out of the blue. Alya had spotted him running across a rooftop across the street, and proceeded to book it out the door, fly after him, and then shamelessly ask to take a photo of him with the cats that were inside the café inspired by him and his partner. He was stunned at first, but agreed, soon enough beaming happily as he surrounded himself with cats.

“Is he crying?” Marinette whispered to Alya as she recorded the feline hero sitting on the floor with at least five different cats climbing his back, shoulders, and into his lap.

“The happiest tears I’ve ever seen,” Alya confirmed.

Once Alya was satisfied she had taken enough pictures and video footage for the blog, she turned her focus to getting a few personal memorabilias.

“Mari! Come here! Take a pic of me with Chat, please? I want something for my desktop background, this would be perfect!”

Marinette agreed, to the annoyance of the cat in her lap. She managed to get the photo, a cute scene of Alya, her nerdy school friend, and Chat Blanc, her dorky friend-but-only-because-she’s-secretly-Ladybug, doing a silly pose with their arms linked, wings flared out, and several cats surrounding them.

She gave a thumbs up, and Alya whooped, standing to take back the phone. Marinette stepped forward, only for the clingy black cat from earlier to entangle himself with her ankles.

With a squawk, she went tumbling, but was deftly caught in the arms of Chat before she could meet an untimely end via a floor of cats.

Marinette flushed scarlet. Chat Blanc smiled shyly. The black cat jumped up on them, getting his lap-seat back. Alya, of course, got another photo.

All three of them managed to laugh it off, but not without Alya demanding another picture of the two and the cats before she would let them stand up.

“Marinette, I’m texting you copies to keep for yourself. Sorry, Chat, I’d send you some but-”

“No worries,” he chuckled and rubbed his neck, waving her concern away with his other hand. “Secret identity means secret number. You’ll be using your own pictures on your computer, though, right? Consider me honored by that,” he bowed dramatically and the two laughed as he straightened. “And Marinette, I’d be more than happy to let you do the same if you wanted, too,” he played the comment off with a wink.

“Time for me to go,” Chat Blanc continued before either girl could respond. “Chat out!”

They watched him dash out the doors and off over the rooftops.

“Girl...Did he just flirt with you?” Alya looked at Marinette, awestruck.

“What? No! There’s no way! Nope!” Marinette flustered and started walking out in a feeble attempt to escape the accusation.

“Uh-huh, because feeling ‘honored’ to be a screensaver for one girl and being ‘happy’ in case it were to happen by a second girl, is totally the same thing,” Alya followed after, determined to tease the life out of Marinette.

“Yes, exactly! Completely the same! It would have just been awkward to say the same line twice, so he just reworded himself, that's all! He was just giving permission to use his picture for personal use, nothing more, nope!”

Alya laughed before winking playfully. “Yeah, girl, sure. That was all, nothing more, nothing less. Whatever you say.”

“Thank you,” Marinette nodded in finality, ignoring the teasing sarcasm from her friend.

Later that day, Marinette saved one of the café photos as her phone’s background, making sure to put a completely different photo as her lockscreen to avoid any further notice or teasing about her and Chat Blanc.

#marichatmay2021 #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ml wing au #chat blanc #wing-binding #willowbendt

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heyjude19-writing · 3 years

Note

Im the list anon again and boy do I have more for you but this time I also have some questions as well if your time allows and you are willing to answer of course. First with the other things I loved:

1) the fact that Ron warmed up to Draco so quickly! I genuinely think thats so much in character. Ron is not a distrustful person and as a middle child as they come is very easygoing and would for sure make stupid jokes at Draco

2) The patronus. My god the Patronus. I seriously put the phone down and made a small slow clap during that chapter. At first I was like hmmmm *insert unsure kombucha girl face* because almost all fanfics have him with a dragon patronus and leave it at that (and lets be honest at this point my expectations of you were quite high dont blame me blame your bloody brilliant writing) but then, and I dont know if you did this on purpose or not (I have a feeling you did) but the fact that the dragon was the same (pale white) wounded but still feral dragon that Hermione FREEED (!) from a bank (£££) dungeon, malnourished and used for its nature, surrounded by darkness, wealth and misery!! And it was Hermione who broke its chains!!!!! Is just *chefs fucking kiss* slow clap*

3) the way you describe sex scenes are so natural! Ive never read a fanfic or book that doesnt make me gag a little bit (I am not a fan of smut at all but ill go with it because of a good story) until I read yours. Its so simple but yet intricate and you make the entire act so intriguing and normal and intimate. Bravo.

4) I LOVE SASHA. I love that Theo fell for her head over heels and the way you portrayd her reminded me of a friend of mine who works as a sous-chef in London so I always pictured her when reading it!

5) Dracos inner voice is ON POINT. Like I genuinely think you shoud own the rights to that character now.

6) Ill say it again. I love Ginny. You should also own the rights to her character too.

7) my interest for Quiddich (even when reading the books/wathcing the movies) was on par, if not lower than Hermiones. You managed to get me interested in that too so yes another slow clap to you

7.1) Also such a clever career for Draco!! Made si much sense!

Now to some questions

A) What was the deal with Malfoy referring to Ginny as Weasly and refusing to aknowledge her Potter surname. And why did everyone kept correcting him? It was hilarious granted but I wanted to know whether the reason you included this time and time again had to do wih something deeper? Or was this included as just a funny recurring joke?

B) Why did you choose for Draco to have a “fantasy” to produce a patronus and not for example for him to have had to do that after theyd exchanged “i love yous”. Very interesting angle and i liked that it was sort of a loophole to all the ‘death eaters cant have patronuses’ but quite curious on the thought process

C) Why did you opt for Draco to remove his mark? Do you think that stands as reward for him more or for Hermione? Very smart solution by the way

D) if you have the time- Could you please elaborate a tad more on what the soul-bonding means? Why was it so taboo? At furst hand it seems like a very romantic/amazing thing to do with your partner right?

Lastly- Do you ever itch to make a second part to this? And in the most acceptable case that you dont, I always wondered what you had in mind for them in the future- because of the soul bonding thing, you mentioned that the generational curses will be erased, which means I guess that the Malfoys can have more than one child now, and girls as well. (I cannot believe im asking for this as I am the one to avoid any pregnancy fanfics but) do you imagine them with children and if yes, how many? How do they integrate muggle devices(I know youd agree wit me that Hermione would definitively bring some muggle stuff over!) and which devices would Draco really secretly like?

Pleasewriteasecondpartwhereyouelaborateyourthoughtsonthisthankyou.

Ok rant done. :D

List anon! You’re back with another amazing ask. I’ll do my best!

1.) I like to think Ron matured a lot post-war (not enough to stop making terrible jokes, though.)

2.) Regarding your beautiful analysis of my specific dragon breed for Draco’s patronus: How many points would you like for your Hogwarts house of choice? I will add that according to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Ironbelly’s scales are normally a metallic grey. I will also add that I subscribe more to book canon than movie canon. In the book version of events of the Gringotts escape, Harry breaks the chains and Hermione (with eventual help once the boys catch on) destroys the ceiling so it can have a way out. The partially blind dragon does the rest of the work on its own.

3.) Thank you, that’s very flattering.

4.) Does your friend also get you into fancy restaurants and can they make salted caramel bread pudding???

5.) Thank you, it was one of my favorite aspects of writing this story.

6.) Thank you, she’s so fun to write and flesh out from her book portrayal.

7.) Haha, I felt so validated by that line of dialogue in Cursed Child when Draco tells Harry he wanted to play quidditch professionally, but wasn’t good enough.

Now to some answers:

A.) It’s definitely a recurring joke. It’s up to the reader to interpret Draco’s actions here: is he doing it to be a massive troll? Or is he genuinely not retaining the information of her married name because he considers this fact so unimportant that he does not bother to keep it in his brain? Troll, snob, or both, you can decide!

B.) I’ll address the second part of this first, because it was not intended as a loophole. I 1000% do not understand the “death eaters can’t have patronuses” thing. It makes absolutely no sense. Snape has a Patronus. But beyond that… Umbridge has a Patronus (a cat). If we’re letting that woman have a Patronus, then yeah, I think Draco can cast one. As for the vision that Draco used to conjure it… up to you whether that’s a fantasy or a glimpse of a certain ritual actually working. Draco’s thoughts on the matter: “An image of such striking tangibility that he might have already lived it, or perhaps experienced time in such a way that he lived it now.”

C.) I wanted Draco to have a choice, obviously a recurring theme for him in RN. For my characterization of him, that symbol on his arm causes him nothing but shame and self-loathing (see the end of chapter 36 during his heart-to-heart with Hermione). He’d already exercised almost every known avenue to rid himself of it before Hermione entered his life (he lists these in chapter 44). Hermione already loved him (and has told him so) by the time she’s figured out how to remove it: “I love the man you are today and I will love that man tomorrow, bare forearm or not. I simply wanted you, for once, to have the choice. It’s your body.”

D.) Ooh anon, you are tempting me here. I really hate to be coy, but you might see some future writing on this very topic.

I can at least answer the taboo part: I think soul magic in general (horcruxes, the use of unicorn blood) is quite taboo in the HP universe. As no one knows what happens after death (not even ghosts, Nearly Headless Nick says as much when Harry asks him point-blank in OoTP) I think most magical folk would think the intense ritual (blending magical cores) an unnecessary thing anyway. As Draco explains in chapter 48, since no one actually knows the effects or if it works, it’s considered a bit over-the-top since it’s probably futile anyway. It is also not a Vow with a death component; Narcissa is obviously alive in this story even though Lucius is already dead. I wrote the generational curse protection theory in as a dig at Cursed Child for the way they handled Astoria’s character.

The idea of it I think is romantic, but I will stress it is very dependent upon the intent of the two participants. To quote Draco in chapter 48 again: “To twine one’s soul to another showed a willingness to not only physically tether one’s self during your time here on earth, but to commit to a blending of your magical cores, putting faith in your magic to recognize its bonded counterpart in another life. Should other lives even exist.”

If you re-read Draco’s experience during the bonding ceremony in chapter 51 (starting from this bit: “The cognizance of his own powers never felt sharper, more familiar, but suddenly another power pulsed within to join with his.”) you might find it bears a resemblance to the trajectory of their relationship.

Lastly- I’ve left Draco and Hermione to their wedded bliss. I’ve got nothing planned for them beyond where they are in the final lines of chapter 51. I don’t have that itch to write more into their future because it would feel forced. Draco laid out his two envisioned futures with Hermione in chapter 48 when they discuss having or not having children. They are happy and content in the life they chose together. That’s all I ever wanted for them.

You will see more from this story though. I have an entire series of one-shots and outtakes from the published Remain Nameless timeline that I’ll start posting soon.

Thank you so much list anon! These were fun to answer!

#remain nameless #dramione #list anon #asked and answered

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thefreakishmuffin · 4 years

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Why Cinderella is actually a good Disney Princess (you guys are just mean)

Alright, nobody asked me to make this post, but here we are. I post whatever I want.

People over the past years have come to really dislike the older Disney Princesses. They see them as weak, submissive pushovers who always need a man to save them. But of all the older princesses such as Snow White, Aurora, and even Ariel, the one that I see get some of the most hate is Cinderella. And honestly, as a woman myself who is all for helping empower other women, I don’t necessarily think she deserves the hate.

People like to say that she is just a helpless damsel in distress who lets a man solve all her problems for her. That she never does anything for herself. And while I can see where people are coming from, I have to say that I don’t believe this is true. (And for those who are really salty about Cinderella, it’s obvious that all they know about her is from that one really crappy Cheetah Girls song).

Let’s start out from when Cinderella was born. She was born to a wealthy man and his wife, but his wife died very early on in young Cinderella’s life. And so her father remarried to Lady Tremaine, and she brought along her two young daughters, Anastasia and Drizella.

(Look at the way she’s petting that cat. EVILLLLL!!!!)

But not long after their marriage, the father passed away. (I’m pretty positive Lady Tremaine killed him, but whatever). And so what did Lady Tremaine do? Without a man of the house having a hand in how things are done, and leaving Lady Tremaine as the sole head of the house, this gave her the opportunity to do whatever she wished with little Cinderella. And so she made her a servant in her own home.

You could argue that Cinderella was weak for letting herself become a slave in her own home, but you know what? The girl was like, seven. Maybe eight. So chill.

And so the years pass by and Cinderella is still serving her stepmother and two ugly stepsisters. And this is where I see people start to get upset. “She’s certainly old enough now! Why doesn’t she just leave?” Well, here’s why. This is all she has known. As far as we know, she has no other family or friends (outside of animals), out there in the world to go to. And even if she did run away, what do you think would happen to a beautiful young woman all alone on the streets in the mid 1800s? Any number of bad things could happen to her. And there is also the emotional abuse she has been though with Lady Tremaine. This woman has dominated this girl’s entire existence, likely making her feel trapped.

(Yo dude where do I get magic soap like that? That’s pretty dope!)

In fact, while we’re on the topic of Cinderella’s home life, I want to point out something. I think it’s important to understand that Cinderella was very much a victim here. She was a victim of emotional and verbal abuse by her stepmother and stepsisters. She was growing up in a really crappy situation. If she wanted to play the victim, she had every right to. She totally could’ve done that.

But she didn’t.

Instead of sitting back and moping about how her life sucks and allowing herself to wallow in misery, she instead chooses to look on the positive. While she doesn’t like her situation, she makes a conscious effort to be positive. And honestly, I think the ability to be optimistic and joyful even through the worst of circumstances is a very admirable trait to have. One that I think we can all learn from. She had every right to be miserable, but instead chose to look on the bright side and find happiness in her everyday life, even if it was just a little bit here and there.

(*smiles like Flynn Rider* Guys I want a castle)

And then we get to the ever so important plot point of the royal ball. Wanting to be a grandpa, the king sends out invitations to every eligible young maiden in the kingdom to attend a huge ball so that his son, the prince, my find a future bride. Lady Tremaine, as the mother of some eligible young maidens, receives an invitation as well and reads it to her daughters.

It’s here where people like to say that, “Cinderella only wanted to go to the ball because of the prince, and that’s a dumb, stupid reason.” But really pay attention here. I mean really pay attention. We see the stepsisters get all giddy and excited about the prince, but Cinderella makes no mention of him. Like, none at all. She, for the first time in her life, has actually been invited to a party, and a huge one at the palace at that! She’s not excited about the prince here, she’s excited about having the opportunity to go to a big party in a pretty dress. And you know what? If I had to deal with all her family’s crap for the past several years and never got a day off, I’d be pretty stoked too. It’s not until after she meets the prince that she actually gives a crap about him.

And then we get to the next bit of discourse I’ve seen a lot of people fight over. The Fairy Godmother, and how she swoops in out of nowhere and fixes everything.

(Sparkle baby SPARKLE!!!!)

I’ve seen people get really bothered by this part. Some people don’t like the Fairy Godmother, saying that she’s random and that her helping get Cinderella to the ball is, once again, making Cinderella a helpless damsel. But here’s how I personally view it.

I see this somewhat as symbolism as well as an important plot point in the story. To me, this is Cinderella getting rewarded for all her hard work. She’s worked day and night almost her entire life under abuse and terrible conditions, but has kept up a brave face, positivity, kindness, and grace through it all. But then people argue that, “Why didn’t the Fairy Godmother appear earlier when Cinderella was being pushed around for all those years?”

My response to that question is a quote from the Fairy Godmother herself, when she states, “Even miracles take a little time.” This means that good things will come to you in due time, when they are meant to come to you, if you keep your head up and don’t let yourself be weighed down by the world around you. The pumpkin carriage and dress were all rewards for Cinderella’s life of hard work and perseverance, and though we might not get our miracle in the form of some random sparkles, it can always come in other ways.

And then we have the whole scene at the ball blah blah blah...

And onto the next point the internet likes to whine about! Cinderella needing a...man to save her?

(Not gonna like, those looks painful to walk in. I can barely even walk in regular heels.)

Alright here’s the deal. The prince didn’t do anything. He sat at the palace the whole time. I don’t know where you’re getting this “she needs a man to save her” bullcrap, because it ain’t there, snowflakes.

Around the end of the story, Lady Tremaine locks Cinderella upstairs in the attic, hoping that she’ll remain trapped up there when the Grand Duke comes a knocking with the glass slipper. I’ve seen people get upset about this, but seriously, what else was she gonna do other than ask her mice friends for help? Yes, she could’ve jumped out the window, but she was really high up and that fall likely could’ve killed her, if not at least horribly wounded her. But I do admit that she could’ve screamed really loud for someone to hear her. That makes sense and probably could’ve worked, but whatever. It’s Disney.

And then people get upset that she went and married a guy who only seemed interested in feet, but you know what? Given the options of either remaining a slave to your abusive family, or living in a palace with the chance of becoming Queen one day? I think we all know which one we’d choose. (Also the prince actually is funny and gets a personality in the third movie...which is surprisingly really good).

(Waking up with flawless makeup and hair is #goals, to be honest.)

And there you have it. Cinderella, is in fact, a good Disney Princess. Now I’m not saying that she’s by any means perfect. But this Disney Princess brings a lot more to the table than just pretty looks and excellent cleaning skills.

And if you still want to get up on your soapbox and scream about how she is an enemy to feminism, then I feel really sorry for you. Because she possesses some positive traits and qualities that I think everyone, not just women, should have.

#disney #disney's cinderella #cinderella #movie analysis #disney analysis #disney princess #disney princesses #cinderella disney

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gettothestabbing · 2 years

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I posted 16,465 times in 2021

871 posts created (5%)

15594 posts reblogged (95%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 17.9 posts.

I added 8,098 tags in 2021

#tweets - 1477 posts

#video - 1345 posts

#heh - 1074 posts

#snerk - 661 posts

#quote - 660 posts

#covid vaccines - 620 posts

#china virus - 609 posts

#cat - 604 posts

#biden administration - 525 posts

#hah - 523 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#then again for me it's just annoying but for a lot of those guys they're probably not hearing from anyone or only getting polite convos back

My Top Posts in 2021

As Joan Gould explains in her book “Spinning Straw Into Gold,” fairy tales operate within a “visual code.” Mythographer Marina Warner dubs it “a symbolic Esperanto.” Whatever you call it, fairy tales use a kind of symbolic shorthand that allows them to convey complex concepts in short, easy to digest metaphors. “The symbolism comes alive and communicates meaning,” Warner explains.

From story to story, the symbols are the same, allowing us to quickly understand the universal truth each fairy tale is meant to convey. In his book, “The Uses of Enchantment,” child psychologist Bruno Bettelheim explained that the fairy tale forest, for example, represents “the dark, hidden, near-impenetrable world of our unconscious.” Gould says that, in a fairy tale, “the good must be beautiful while the wicked are ugly,” not because beauty is prized above all else, but because outer beauty represents inner goodness.

In Disney’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” the prince does have permission to kiss Snow White. He just doesn’t get it in writing and signed in triplicate. When Snow White and her prince meet at the beginning of the film they fall in love. It’s love at first sight, true, but in the language of fairy tales, this symbolically tells us that they each have seen the other’s inner selves, as represented by their outer beauty.

If he hadn’t kissed her at the end, the prince would have condemned Snow White to the “sleeping death” forever because only “love’s first kiss” can wake her. The fact that his kiss does wake her up proves their love is true. Snow White’s prince is exactly the kind of man a mother should want for her daughter.

People like Tremaine and Dowd are misrepresenting fairy tales to our children. They are pulling them out of the symbolic and plonking them down in the real world — a place fairy tales (as the name suggests) never even pretended to inhabit.

In doing so, they are robbing a generation of children of the lessons these stories have taught us for centuries. When a little girl puts on a tiara and happily pulls her flouncy princess dress from her dress-up bin, she isn’t participating in a patriarchal structure that keeps women down — she’s cloaking herself in glory.

82 notes • Posted 2021-05-13 18:16:55 GMT

Portland Police Bureau Chief Chuck Lovell in a Dec. 16 video appealed to the public and insisted that the public needed to lock arms and "do everything we can together to break the cycle of violence."

"Gun violence has plagued our city at twice the rate of last year," he said. "On average, someone is shot in Portland roughly every two days."

"We've come together to mask up, to stay home to keep others safe. We have come together to do our best to stop the spread of a deadly disease," he continued. "Violence is also a disease that kills and our community is suffering the consequences."

"We cannot lose sight of the fact these are human beings who have died," Lovell added.

According to a report from KGW-TV, Portland Police Bureau Lieutenant Greg Pashley reported that there were at least 225 victims of gun violence in Portland in 2020 alone.

"The number of bullets that must have been flying around our neighborhoods, city streets, sidewalks — it's awful," Pashley said.

The bureau is now asking for a a community-wide effort and action to help put a stop to gun violence across the city after its gun violence reduction team was disbanded over the summer.

The team was dismantled after activists and gun control activists said that the bureau was guilty of racism in "stopping people of color disproportionately to others," the station reported.

Pashley later said that "[s]ocial services, government organizations, non-government organizations, church based [organizations]" are of utmost importance "so that people feel as if they have support and options other than to act out violently."

131 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 02:31:54 GMT

I grew up in China. At the time, adults had nothing else to read other than books written by Mao Zedong. A collection of Mao’s books was a typical wedding gift for the newlyweds. Naturally, there weren’t many choices for children’s books either. The few children’s books I read had no adorable characters, nor did any convey a sense of humor or wit. There wasn’t much color in the books either. Most of the drawings were black and white, just like our colorless, dull life under socialism. One story I still remember was “The Rooster Crows at Midnight.” It was about an evil landowner, Zhou, who was very cruel to laborers who worked for him. The story said the Chinese Communist Party liberated laborers and distributed land and livestock formerly owned by Zhou to these poor laborers. One night, children patrolling the village caught Zhou as he was trying to steal a chicken. I still remember the picture in the book that depicts the scene when Zhou got caught: he knelt on the floor, head dropped, back bent, and hands tied back; the children who surrounded him all pointed their shining spears at him, with an indignant look on their faces. The author of the book disclosed in an interview later that this book was based on a true story. In real life, Zhou confessed his crime in a struggle session and was beaten to death. That’s the story I remember from my childhood. I had many nightmares after reading it. The Chinese Communist Party even turned this story into a movie. The CCP wanted people to believe owning private property and having more wealth than other people is evil. This propaganda campaign was effective. Zhou, the demonized landowner, soon became synonymous with evil. In a totalitarian regime, children’s books aren’t meant to bring any joy or inspire a healthy imagination. Instead, their sole purpose is to instill the correct political ideology in young minds so we would be prepared to become devoted soldiers of Communism. Like everyone else, I despised Zhou, the evil landowner, until years later I learned that my great-grandfather had been a landowner also. My great-grandfather was always kind, generous, and hardworking. He earned his land inch by inch through sweat, tears, and even blood. The CCP took all his land and livestock away in the name of “land reform.” He had to endure many cruel struggle sessions, but miraculously, he survived. Learning the truth about my great-grandfather made me feel that the CCP had cheated me out of my childhood twice. Not only did I not have a normal childhood, but also I fell for the CCP’s lie that landowners like my great-grandfather were terrible people.

Helen Raleigh, Stopping The Next Cultural Revolution Starts With Your Home Library

197 notes • Posted 2021-03-16 23:36:46 GMT

"I don't have much of a mitten business anymore because it really wasn't worth it," Ellis said. "Independent crafters get really taken for a ride by the federal government. We get taxed to the nth degree, and it wasn't really worth it pursuing that as a business, even as a side hustle. I mostly just make them as gifts."

Ellis supported Sanders in 2020 but conceded in the interview that "Biden is pretty great," even though she wished Kamala Harris were president instead. All three politicians—two Democrats and one socialist—are outspoken advocates for higher taxes.

304 notes • Posted 2021-02-06 01:24:48 GMT

Some families pleaded with the new administration to honor the previous agreements, one couple writing that they were counting on the leave to deal with “unforeseen complications” during the birth of their child.

“[T]he remaining 9-10 weeks afforded to federal employees is critical to our family and livelihoods as we work to raise a strong, healthy boy under unique and unforeseen complications to our birth plan,” the married Department of Homeland Security officials wrote.

But their calls were disregarded by Biden’s transition team, which said the officials’ previously pledged benefits including payroll ended when former President Donald Trump departed the White House. Continuity between administrations is a long-established tradition in the interests of fairness and unity.

“We understand that a few Trump appointees, including a handful currently on parental leave, submitted last-minute requests to remain on government payroll,” one White House official said. “Because these requests were received so close to Inauguration Day… there was no way to implement an exception to the rule in a way that is fair to all outgoing appointees, including many who resigned as expected without making requests for extraordinary benefits.”

Instead of keeping their leave, “appointees have been advised that they have options including COBRA and the Affordable Care Act.”

847 notes • Posted 2021-02-07 15:38:34 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#sorry to clog the dash but I love compiled info like that #Duolingo told me I was in the top 2% of learners this year and it gave me a huge mood boost #my 2021 tumblr year in review #long post #pers com #gettothestabbing #stats #tags #2021 #Tumblr

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agentrouka-blog · 4 years

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ASOIAF - Food symbolism: apples and Jon “You have to choose.”

Inspired by this amazing post by @thoughtsandgrumbles I felt compelled to look at apples a little.

Apples are a deeply symbolic fruit on a good day, but I’m not going to go too deeply into the general use, because who has time for that? I’m looking at the text itself. This post will be all about apples in Jon’s chapters, once I get the preliminary rambles out of the way.

Warning: LONG. Many quotes.

Just a few things:

Popularly associated with temptation and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the garden of eden, the realization of being nekkid, the Expulsion of Adam and Eve from paradise as a result. (That would botanically not have been an apple, though.)

The apple “to the fairest” handed out by Eris, godess of discord, for Paris to choose among the three godesses Hera, Athena and Aphrodite, ultimately leading to the Trojan War, which GRRM heavily draws from.

Snow White and the poison apple

Sansa is the name of a variety of apple that was developed in the 1970s, an early ripening mix of Gala and Akane.

Just by the general use, we get a theme of choice and destruction. Also Sansa is an apple. But - spoiler alert - that is NOT very central in Jon’s chapters. YET.

Also, some boring numbers, because this is not as easy a fruit as the persimmon to parse for the sheer amount of them:

Apples in general have 155 mentions in all searchable publications, 135 in the novels directly, 22 in Jon chapters. Only 9 of all the novel-mentions concern House Fossoway, 11 in the other literature.

Top chapter uses:

AFFC, Prologue - 14: Oldtown, Quill and Tankard inn backyard. Alleras shoots them with bow and arrow while the acolyte nerd squad discusses Dany and her dragon rumors. "Where's Rosey? Our rightful queen deserves another round of cider, wouldn't you say?" The apples are withered and wormy, the cider is fearsomely strong. Pate agonizes over his betrayal and theft for his creepy, obsessive love. His choice is “love”. Then he is killed. Complex.

ADWD, Jon V - 11: Jon passes out food and asks the wildlings at Mole’s Town to choose if they want to fight for the NW or not. Apples and onions, you have to choose. The apples are withered.

ADWD, Davos II - 7: Getting information about Manderly from an apple seller in White Harbor. Bad apple, good information. Theme in WH: who are you truly loyal to? The apple is dry and mealy, “bad”. Apples and onions, again.

ASOS, Bran III - 5, and ASOS, Jon V - 3: (8 combined) Rotten apples carpet the ground near an abandoned Queenscrown inn. They provide the background for Jon’s break with the Wildling Undercover Operation and flight back to the Watch. Theme: the abandonment of the Gift, the decline of the Watch, the Dream of Spring and Jon really doesn’t even really pretend to want a future with Ygritte. He chooses. The apples are rotten.

POV uses: Jon 22, Arya 18, Prologue AFFC 14, Sansa 13, Davos 8, Jaime 8, Bran 8, Tyrion 8, Brienne 6, Catelyn 6, Dany 5, Eddard 5, Cersei 3, Theon 3, Samwell 2 JonCon 1, Asha 1, Quentyn 1, Arianne 1, Areo Hotah 1, Prologue ADWD: 1.

Jon is not only the single top POV character to feature the apple, he also has two of the top-use chapters that give the apple significance in setting the background. The apple is very closely tied to Jon.

A short note on the red apple Fossoways (Cider Hall) and the green apple Fossoways (New Barrel):

The branches split at the trial of seven at the Tourney at Ashford (of the Ashford Theory), where the red apple fought for the bad guys (Aerion Targaryen) and the green apple for Ser Duncan the Tall.

Both had the red apple of the Fossoways painted on their shields, but the younger man's was soon hacked and chipped to pieces. "Here's an apple that's not ripe yet," the older said as he slammed the other's helm. (…)

"Ser Raymun, if you please." He cantered up, a grim smile lighting his face beneath his plumed helm. "My pardons, ser. I needed to make a small change to my sigil, lest I be mistaken for my dishonorable cousin." He showed them all his shield. The polished golden field remained the same, and the Fossoway apple, but this apple was green instead of red. "I fear I am still not ripe . . . but better green than wormy, eh?"

(The Hedge Knight)

Again with the split of loyalty, with the following your moral code, with the choices.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So how do apples feature for Jon himself?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apples are connected to Jon’s struggle of loyalty to the Night’s Watch, and with his inner struggle in general. Every time they show up, he is confronted with a choice of who to stay loyal to, what values to follow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First apple: AGOT, Jon IX.

Jon’s final chapter in the book. Big Drama!

Jon eats a brown, withered apple when he tries to flee the NW the first time. He is heading South because his father has been killed and he wants to join Robb. He is plagued by self-doubt and fear. Then he takes a break to eat.

In his saddlebag, he found a biscuit, a piece of cheese, and a small withered brown apple. (...) He kept the apple for last. It had gone a little soft, but the flesh was still tart and juicy. He was down to the core when he heard the sounds: horses, and from the north.

Straight after, he is caught and prodded back in an incredibly moving, nonviolent confrontation by his new Brothers reciting the NW vows.

"… and all the nights to come," finished Pyp. He reached over for Jon's reins. "So here are your choices. Kill me, or come back with me."

Jon lifted his sword … and lowered it, helpless. "Damn you," he said. "Damn you all."

In his mind, Jon is determined to try and escape again, but the next day, Mormont lets him know they knew what happened.

Jon’s throat was dry. “You know?” “Know,” the raven echoed from Mormont’s shoulder. “Know.” The Old Bear snorted. “Do you think they chose me Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch because I’m dumb as a stump, Snow? Aemon told me you’d go. I told him you’d be back. I know my men … and my boys too. Honor set you on the kingsroad … and honor brought you back.” “My friends brought me back,” Jon said. “Did I say it was your honor?” Mormont inspected his plate.

Jon thinks he’ll be executed. Instead, he will be taken along to the great ranging beyond the Wall.

“So I will have an answer from you, Lord Snow, and I will have it now. Are you a brother of the Night’s Watch … or only a bastard boy who wants to play at war?” Jon Snow straightened himself and took a long deep breath. Forgive me, Father. Robb, Arya, Bran … forgive me, I cannot help you. He has the truth of it. This is my place. “I am … yours, my lord. Your man. I swear it. I will not run again.” The Old Bear snorted. “Good. Now go put on your sword.”

Apple = choice. The choice is the Watch. Because the war against the Others is more important.

Apple Quality: Brown and whithered. But still tart and juicy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Second apple: ACOK, Jon I

A former green apple (the valiantly knightly Fossoway kind) is to be dispatched from the Wall to garner support from a Baratheon king...

"Renly is not like to heed a quaking fat boy. I'll send Ser Arnell. He's a deal steadier, and his mother was one of the green-apple Fossoways."

"If it please my lord, what would you have of King Renly?"

The conversation turns toward maester Aemon, his repeated refusal to become king and the incredibly foreshadowy information about the ending of the dragon line.

It made him feel odd. “My lord, why have you told me this, about Maester Aemon?” “Must I have a reason?” Mormont shifted in his seat, frowning. “Your brother Robb has been crowned King in the North. You and Aemon have that in common. A king for a brother.” “And this too,�� said Jon. “A vow.” (…)

Jon drew himself up, taut as a bowstring. “And if it did trouble me, what might I do, bastard as I am?” “What will you do?” Mormont asked. “Bastard as you are?” “Be troubled,” said Jon, “and keep my vows.”

Apple = choice. The choice is the Watch. The bigger picture is more important.

Apple Quality: green and unripe. (But honorable.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third apple: ACOK, Jon VII

Jon and the Qhorin Halfhand crew are on the losing side of a game of cat and mouse with the warg-powered wildlings. Squire Dalbridge is about to sacrifice his life by going to shoot the Wildlings that are stalking them.

The squire bowed his head. "Leave me as many arrows as you can spare, brothers." He stroked his longbow. "And see my garron has an apple when you're home. He's earned it, poor beastie."

He's staying to die, Jon realized.

And that’s almost right at the end of the chapter. This is the only apple chapter where Jon is NOT immediately confronted with a moral dilemma of loyalty or the making of choices. And Dalbridge’s self-sacrifice, his off-page death, all of that means it’s a more long-term projection of the dilemma.

The next, final chapter, Jon and Qhorin Halfhand are captured and he is compelled to kill Qhorin to prove himself a turncloak to the Wildlings, in order to start his Undercover Operation.

The flames were burning low by then, the warmth fading. “The fire will soon go out,” Qhorin said, “but if the Wall should ever fall, all the fires will go out.” There was nothing Jon could say to that. He nodded. “We may escape them yet,” the ranger said. “Or not.” “I’m not afraid to die.” It was only half a lie. “It may not be so easy as that, Jon.” He did not understand. “What do you mean?”

(…)

Rattleshirt’s bone armor clattered loudly as he laughed. “Then kill the Halfhand, bastard.” “As if he could,” said Qhorin. “Turn, Snow, and die.” And then Qhorin’s sword was coming at him and somehow Longclaw leapt upward to block. The force of impact almost knocked the bastard blade from Jon’s hand, and sent him staggering backward. You must not balk, whatever is asked of you.

(…)

He knew, he thought numbly. He knew what they would ask of me. He thought of Samwell Tarly then, of Grenn and Dolorous Edd, of Pyp and Toad back at Castle Black. Had he lost them all, as he had lost Bran and Rickon and Robb? Who was he now? What was he?

“Get him up.” Rough hands dragged him to his feet. Jon did not resist. “Do you have a name?” Ygritte answered for him. “His name is Jon Snow. He is Eddard Stark’s blood, of Winterfell.”

(ACOK, Jon VIII)

Ouch. From this point on, Jon will have to make his own choices, no longer guided by other people’s rules, other people’s honor. The choices will be harder, lonelier. They will be contradictory, they will involve even more tangible loss. They will involve dishonor. The reward is as distant as home. Sacrifice. Death.

But one day, the poor beastie will get an apple, he will have earned it.

Apple = choice. The choice is the Watch. The bigger picture.

Apple quality: unknown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fourth apple: ASOS, Jon I

As inconspicuously as above, the apple features in a memory of home, featuring not-yet-deserter Mance Rayder at Winterfell, meeting Robb and Jon up to shennanigans:

“I remember,” said Jon with a startled laugh. A young black brother on the wallwalk, yes … “You swore not to tell.”

"And kept my vow. That one, at least."

"We dumped the snow on Fat Tom. He was Father's slowest guardsman." Tom had chased them around the yard afterward, until all three were red as autumn apples. "But you said you saw me twice. When was the other time?"

"When King Robert came to Winterfell to make your father Hand," the King-beyond-the-Wall said lightly. (ASOS, Jon I)

A neat connection between desertion, vow-keeping and the events that led Jon to take his own path to the Wall. Before Meeting Mance, Ygritte has been praising the values of being “free” like the good Little Wildling Propagandist that she is. But Jon isn’t biting yet.

The following conversation gives the backstory of Mance Rayder’s desertion from the Wall. It was over a cloak, mended by a Wildling woman who tended to him while he was injured.

“And she sewed up the rents in my cloak as well, with some scarlet silk from Asshai that her grandmother had pulled from the wreck of a cog washed up on the Frozen Shore. It was the greatest treasure she had, and her gift to me.” He swept the cloak back over his shoulders. “But at the Shadow Tower, I was given a new wool cloak from stores, black and black, and trimmed with black, to go with my black breeches and black boots, my black doublet and black mail. The new cloak had no frays nor rips nor tears … and most of all, no red. The men of the Night’s Watch dressed in black, Ser Denys Mallister reminded me sternly, as if I had forgotten. My old cloak was fit for burning now, he said. “I left the next morning … for a place where a kiss was not a crime, and a man could wear any cloak he chose.” He closed the clasp and sat back down again. “And you, Jon Snow?”

Jon uses Mance’s story of visiting Winterfell to spin his own lie:

“And did you see where I was seated, Mance?” He leaned forward. “Did you see where they put the bastard?” Mance Rayder looked at Jon’s face for a long moment. “I think we had best find you a new cloak,” the king said, holding out his hand.

What will the bastard do? Be troubled and keep his vows. So far, so true. But he did kill Qhorin Halfhand, he is pretending to be a deserter. Lines are a lot more blurry than they used to be.

Apple = choice. The choice is… the Night’s Watch. Shifting more and more toward simply the bigger picture.

Apple quality: red autumn apple.

Red silk patches. Conflicting values. Women. There is uncertainty on the horizon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fifth apple. ASOS Jon V. BIG apple chapter.

His final confrontation as an Undercover Wildling.

This confrontation takes place at the abandoned tower and village of Queenscrown, which gets a closer description in the accompanying Bran chapter:

No one had lived in the village for long years, Bran could see. All the houses were falling down. Even the inn. It had never been much of an inn, to look at it, but now all that remained was a stone chimney and two cracked walls, set amongst a dozen apple trees. One was growing up through the common room, where a layer of wet brown leaves and rotting apples carpeted the floor. The air was thick with the smell of them, a cloying cidery scent that was almost overwhelming. Meera stabbed a few apples with her frog spear, trying to find some still good enough to eat, but they were all too brown and wormy.

(ASOS, Bran III)

The abandonment of Brandon’s Gift is a subject of conflict between Jon and Ygritte. A carpet of rotting apples. It opens the very next Jon chapter, as they are on the way to Queenscrown. Ygritte mocks the farmers who left the Gift as fools. Jon doesn’t take the bait yet. He briefly indulges in a fantasy of introducing Ygritte to Winterfell before being overcome with guilt and shame again. Ygritte is super great at reading his mood:

“Might be after we could come back here, and live in that tower,” she said. “Would you want that, Jon Snow? After?”

He doesn’t think about it, doesn’t answer for a while, it rather reminds him of Ned’s Dream of Spring, the plan to resettle the Gift. The Starks and the Watch.

If winter had come and gone more quickly and spring had followed in its turn, I might have been chosen to hold one of these towers in my father’s name. Lord Eddard was dead, however, his brother Benjen lost; the shield they dreamt together would never be forged. “This land belongs to the Watch,” Jon said. Her nostrils flared. “No one lives here.”

Jon isn’t even tempted. Like, no, Jon, Bambi, you did not love this person, no matter what your telling yourself later. He doesn’t even really contemplate it.

Instead of bonding them closer together, Ygritte’s invitation to make long-term plans has the opposite effect. It fans the flames of what divides them. They argue about raiding and rape. Ygritte spouts nonsense.

“You know nothing, Jon Snow. Daughters are taken, not wives. You’re the ones who steal. You took the whole world, and built the Wall t’ keep the free folk out.”

Ygritte, no, that is not why the Wall was built. You think they built a gargantuan magic ice structure to keep out Styr, Magnar of Thenn, or what? Really? Jon is also sceptical of this version of history:

“Did we?” Sometimes Jon forgot how wild she was, and then she would remind him. “How did that happen?”

"The gods made the earth for all men t' share. Only when the kings come with their crowns and steel swords, they claimed it was all theirs. My trees, they said, you can't eat them apples. My stream, you can't fish here. My wood, you're not t' hunt. My earth, my water, my castle, my daughter, keep your hands away or I'll chop 'em off, but maybe if you kneel t' me I'll let you have a sniff. You call us thieves, but at least a thief has t' be brave and clever and quick. A kneeler only has t' kneel."

Ygritte is basically a bland political extremist. I could sympathize with her criticism of feudal culture if it didn’t come hand in hand with her passionate defense of violent theft and rape culture. Like, you paragon of intelligence, not everyone resides at the fair top of the food chain like you do in your peak fitness status within your warrior culture. But of course, rape is fun! Just bring a knife!

"Harma and the Bag of Bones don't come raiding for fish and apples. They steal swords and axes. Spices, silks, and furs. They grab every coin and ring and jeweled cup they can find, casks of wine in summer and casks of beef in winter, and they take women in any season and carry them off beyond the Wall."

Apples in a breath with women. People should not be “stolen”. But Ygritte thinks men who successfully abduct and rape women are sexy. She’s like Dany that way. There are some cultural divides that cannot be pretended away, and their entire conversation circles around it. Jon is plagued by terrible guilt, he tries to warn Ygritte that their plan is doomed, she (rightfully) suspects his loyalty to the Wildlings and Jon believes himself in love but he never wavers in his actual allegiance to the NW.

She grinned at that, showing Jon the crooked teeth that he had somehow come to love. Wildling to the bone, he thought again, with a sick sad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He flexed the fingers of his sword hand, and wondered what Ygritte would do if she knew his heart. Would she betray him if he sat her down and told her that he was still Ned Stark’s son and a man of the Night’s Watch? He hoped not, but he dare not take that risk.

GRRM is going out of his way to undermine the supposed romance by constantly referring to the conflict between them and the apples-of-choice are just all over.

Anyway, Jon is thoroughly eaten by guilt over having to betray these human beings who are a vicious and brutal threat to the place and people he loves and swore to protect. His true identity is hinted at:

Jon wondered where Ghost was now. Had he gone to Castle Black, or was he was running with some wolfpack in the woods? He had no sense of the direwolf, not even in his dreams. It made him feel as if part of himself had been cut off. Even with Ygritte sleeping beside him, he felt alone. He did not want to die alone.

Ghost. Not Ygritte. Not the wildlings. Not the Watch, even. Ghost. Wolf.

They arrive at the Queenscrown inn and an old man is captured.

Jon walked away. A rotten apple squished beneath his heel. Styr will kill him. The Magnar had said as much at Greyguard; any kneelers they met were to be put to death at once, to make certain they could not raise the alarm. Ride with them, eat with them, fight with them. Did that mean he must stand mute and helpless while they slit an old man's throat?

The apples are rotten. Jon spends one last moment with Ygritte contemplating Queenscrown and then the “kill the old man” business starts. He struggles but ultimately refuses. Bran’s wolf Summer disrupts the tension with a bloody attack and Jon doesn’t hesitate to Escape. Like when they met, Jon didn’t slit Ygritte’s throat, but she slit the old man’s. He will not shoot arrows at her, but she did at him. Love.

Thunder rumbled softly in the distance, but above him the clouds were breaking up. Jon searched the sky until he found the Ice Dragon, then turned the mare north for the Wall and Castle Black. The throb of pain in his thigh muscle made him wince as he put his heels into the old man’s horse. I am going home, he told himself. But if that was true, why did he feel so hollow?

Apple = choice. The choice is… NOT Ygritte. NOT the Wildlings. Time and again. But it also isn’t the Watch. Not as it had been before. Jon followed his instincts, his inner values, but it had a cost, it is hard. Jon is lost.

Apple Quality: rotten.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sixth apple: ASOS, Jon VII

The Battle at Castle Black They await the attack, Jon and Satin share a meal. And they get a nod to Renly’s peach quote:

"Eat," Jon told him. "There's no knowing when you'll have another chance." He took two buns himself. The nuts were pine nuts, and besides the raisins there were bits of dried apple. (ASOS, Jon VII)

Compare to Renly, which also took place before a nightly sneak attack.

"A man should never refuse to taste a peach," Renly said as he tossed the stone away. "He may never get the chance again. Life is short, Stannis. Remember what the Starks say. Winter is coming." He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. (ACOK, Catelyn III)

Peaches have an air of incest and hedonism about them, nostalgia and summer, Baratheons and Arya and Asha. The apple is different. It’s about choice, about conflicted loyalty and personal values, about identity and the bigger picture. (And again and again, they connect to women.)

Jon commands part of the fight, it’s grim. He recognizes some of the wildlings as they pepper them with arrows but cannot shoot at who he thinks is Ygritte. Wildlings die, his brothers die. The battle is brutal, Jon’s POV is distant. Satin remains by his side all throughout, grounding him. Jon remembers advice from Theon, from Ned. They eventually beat the wildling attackers with a horrifying fire trap on the stairs, they win. Immediately after, Jon goes looking for Ygritte, Satin still by his side.

The ice crystals had settled over her face, and in the moonlight it looked as though she wore a glittering silver mask. The arrow was black, Jon saw, but it was fletched with white duck feathers. Not mine, he told himself, not one of mine. But he felt as if it were.

We get a Dany-Val nod…

The light of the half-moon turned Val's honey-blond hair a pale silver and left her cheeks as white as snow. She took a deep breath. "The air tastes sweet."

"My tongue is too numb to tell. All I can taste is cold." (ADWD, Jon VIII)

...and a lovely double-layered “not mine, not one of mine”. Not his arrows, but he feels guilty. She is not his pack, but he feels guilty.

She just smiled at that. “D’you remember that cave? We should have stayed in that cave. I told you so.” “We’ll go back to the cave,” he said. “You’re not going to die, Ygritte. You’re not.” “Oh.” Ygritte cupped his cheek with her hand. “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she sighed, dying.

Jon struggles to let go of the fantasy. He is loyal to the cause of the Watch, if not the letter of the vows, but he knows now that his souls want more. He indulges Ygritte’s fantasy of returning because it’s the only thing he has, the only thing he can offer.

Apple = choice. The choice is… the Watch. But painfully. Numbly. No passion. Duty.

Apple quality: dried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seventh apple: ASOS, Jon X

Tormund’s daughter Munda.

After vicious attacking Janos Slynt for insulting Ned Stark during a hiostile interrogation in the previous chapter, Jon is sent to kill Mance Rayder under the pretense of parley to prove his loyalty. He is resigned and shame-filled, contemplating his future, where he will be remembered in honorless infamy. Much bitterness, plenty of woe. His reception by Tormund is surprisingly jovial. They drink mead to honor their fallen Donal Noye and Ygritte, with surprisingly little bitterness. It helps Jon return some of his cheer.

"You bloody crows." Tormund's tone was gruff, yet strangely gentle. "That Longspear stole me daughter. Munda, me little autumn apple. Took her right out o' my tent with all four o' her brothers about.” Toregg slept through it, the great lout, and Torwynd … well, Torwynd the Tame, that says all that needs saying, don’t it? The young ones gave the lad a fight, though.”

“And Munda?” asked Jon. “She’s my own blood,” said Tormund proudly. “She broke his lip for him and bit one ear half off, and I hear he’s got so many scratches on his back he can’t wear a cloak. She likes him well enough, though. And why not? He don’t fight with no spear, you know. Never has. So where do you think he got that name? Har!” Jon had to laugh. Even now, even here.

Autumn apple. Stolen women. Cloak.

Stealing women was a hot topic with Ygritte and Jon is immediately concerned, but is reassured. The tenor of the conversation is conciliatory, while he is revealed to be loyal to the Watch, there is mutual respect. In Jon’s thoughts, Ygritte becomes a mentor voice, drifting away from the romantic woe of before.

Easy for you to say, he thought back. You died brave in battle, storming the castle of a foe. I’m going to die a turncloak and a killer. Nor would his death be quick, unless it came on the end of Mance’s sword.

Similarly to Dany later, Jon is arguing with dead beloved abusers in his head, like she will do in ADWD with Viserys. Ygritte is less obviously horrific, but the “voices in my head” aspect and the sheer idealising that both of them engage in feels disconcerting. Never the less, we see Jon’s current identity status on Facebook is “turncloak”. Not Night’s Watch.

The rest of Mance’s “court” is less welcoming, but Mance draws him in for a private conference. The Horn of Winter is revealed, the mutual cause of the Wildlings and the Night’s Watch is identified.

“If I sound the Horn of Winter, the Wall will fall. Or so the songs would have me believe. There are those among my people who want nothing more …” “But once the Wall is fallen,” Dalla said, “what will stop the Others?”

(Dalla has the brains that Ygritte lacked. Why can SHE not be Jon’s mentor?)

Mance offers to hand over the Horn of Joramun if they let the Wildlings pass through the Wall, or he will destroy the Wall in three days. Jon hesitates because he fears they will ransack the place, but he also has no negotiating credit with Thorne and Slynt. He contemplates just smashing the Horn, when suddenly Stannis attacks. The Wildlings are smashed, a helpless Jon enters the tent with Val to attend Dalla.

He is just... disillusioned.

Apple = choice. The choice is… the bigger picture. The Watch is headed by irrational scum, the Wildlings are no less dangerous to the North than they were before and Jon has no hope of saving his ruined reputation either way. He was about to murder Mance, then about to smash his bargaining chip, yet he has no ill will toward them. Only a depressed, numb resignation to preventing the worst of all outcomes.

Apple Quality: autumn apple.

Again with the autumn apple. There are only 3 “autumn apples” in the books, all in ASOS. Jon I (above with Mance), Samwell II, and Jon X here.

In Jon I it connected Mance’s disloyalty to the Watch to the red-and-black cloak given to him by a woman. Also Bael the Bard, deception and stealing. Jon consults his inner values, and chooses pragmatism. His break with “blind” honor will leave him flailing a bit.

In Jon X it specifically refers to a young woman being stolen. Jon consults his inner values, he chooses the bigger picture, but he’s frayed and his choice is interrupted. Stannis will offer him Winterfell. Ghost will remind him of who he is. Ultimately, he will become Lord Commander and his struggle with loyalty will cease for a long time.

What’s Sam’s autumn apple about? They are listed with many foodstuffs that the angry NW brother’s at Craster’s after the fight at the Fist of the First Men expect to receive. Mormont just remembered the true purpose of the Watch. Gilly has just given birth to her son. Sam offers to take the boy, Craster gets mad. they bury a dead brother and the mood is mutinous.

“Apples,” said Garth of Greenaway. “Barrels and barrels of crisp autumn apples. There are apple trees out there, I saw ’em.”

A confrontation breaks out and they kill Craster and stab Mormont. Sam’s friends flee, the others raid and rape, Sam cradles a dying Mormont. Some wives approach and order Sam to take Gilly to safety.

Gilly was crying. “Me and the babe. Please. I’ll be your wife, like I was Craster’s. Please, ser crow. He’s a boy, just like Nella said he’d be. If you don’t take him, they will.” “They?” said Sam, and the raven cocked its black head and echoed, “They. They. They.” “The boy’s brothers,” said the old woman on the left. “Craster’s sons. The white cold’s rising out there, crow. I can feel it in my bones. These poor old bones don’t lie. They’ll be here soon, the sons.”

The massive abundance of apples suggests a link to the abundance of women, to the connection to inner values over formal loyalty, to the “stealing” of Gilly to save her. To the massive bigger picture. With Jon it translates to his trademark quick-thinking pragmatism, with Sam it translates to compassion and identifying valuable information.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8th and final apple: ADWD, Jon V - The Grand Appling.

ADWD Jon V is another big apple chapter: you have to choose!

Much time has passed since the last apples were mentioned. Jon is Lord Commander and has sent away Sam, Gilly and maester Aemon. The Wildlings are south of the Wall. Food is a constant worry. Bowen Marsh is upset with Jon, Jon is super-diplomatic. Not. It’s time to bring provisions to the Wildlings at Mole’s Town. A Mirror to Dany in ADWD, Daenerys VI, bringing food to the Astapori refugees. The Wildlings are grumpy. Jon struggles to balance the culture clash between free folk, Stannis’ men and Wildlings.

Pig ignorance, Jon thought. The free folk were no different than the men of the Night’s Watch; some were clean, some dirty, but most were clean at times and dirty at other times.

Jon is much removed from his earlier woeful struggles or idealism. A weary pragmatism guides his every action. Grey.

Apples ensue:

"You can have an onion or an apple," Jon heard Hairy Hal tell one woman, "but not both. You got to pick."

The woman did not seem to understand. "I need two of each. One o' each for me, t'others for my boy. He's sick, but an apple will set him right."

Hal shook his head. "He has to come get his own apple. Or his onion. Not both. Same as you. Now, is it an apple or an onion? Be quick about it, now, there's more behind you."

"An apple," she said, and he gave her one, an old dried thing, small and withered.

"Move along, woman," shouted a man three places back. "It's cold out here."

The woman paid the shout no mind. "Another apple," she said to Hairy Hal. "For my son. Please. This one is so little."

Hal looked to Jon. Jon shook his head. They would be out of apples soon enough. If they started giving two to everyone who wanted two, the latecomers would get none.

"Out of the way," a girl behind the woman said. Then she shoved her in the back. The woman staggered, lost her apple, and fell. The other foodstuffs in her arms went flying. Beans scattered, a turnip rolled into a mud puddle, a sack of flour split and spilled its precious contents in the snow.

Apples are once again almost aggressively connected to choices. Apples or onions. Not both. You have to pick.

Barring another meta, I can’t really say what the onion is supposed to represent. Some things that echoe Jon’s apple themes:

His sons were good fighters and better sailors, but they did not know how to talk to lords. They were lowborn, even as I was, but they do not like to recall that. When they look at our banner, all they see is a tall black ship flying on the wind. They close their eyes to the onion. (ACOK, Davos I)

Denial.

Dany nibbled at an onion and reflected ruefully on the faithlessness of men. (ACOK, Daenerys III)

Faithlessness.

The feast was a meager enough thing, a succession of fish stews, black bread, and spiceless goat. The tastiest thing Theon found to eat was an onion pie. Ale and wine continued to flow well after the last of the courses had been cleared away. (ACOK, Theon II)

Theon about to be ordered to attack Winterfell. Betrayal.

The last time it was life I brought to Storm's End, shaped to look like onions. This time it is death, in the shape of Melisandre of Asshai. (ACOK, Davos II)

Life and death brought by the same person.

Melisandre’s manichean world view vs. Davos’ more encompassing one:

"What if I am? It seems to me that most men are grey."

"If half of an onion is black with rot, it is a rotten onion. A man is good, or he is evil." (ACOK, Davos II)

Bless you Sam.

Hungry as he was, Sam knew he would retch if he so much as tried a bite. How could they eat the poor faithful garrons who had carried them so far? When Craster's wives brought onions, he seized one eagerly. One side was black with rot, but he cut that part off with his dagger and ate the good half raw. (ASOS, Samwell II)

Considering apples represent the choice you make to serve an ethical bigger picture (not necessarily loyalty to an order), onions seem to show a contrasting duality of bad and good, a refusal to position oneself honestly, dirty compromises, the darkness in human beings.

Davos’ entire arc circles around being a very decent human being who none the less supports a whole lot of questionable crap. Our resident kraken Theon is torn inside unable to choose between Greyjoy and Stark identity and becomes monstrous.

Melisandre downright denies the existence of grey. The presence of bad cancels out all good. Samwell, on the other hand, embraces the good while disregarding the bad.

Ygritte smelled of onion. Dany eats wild onion on her dragon grassland chapter, Jorah eats onion. Brienne has onion soup on her way to Lady Stoneheart. Jon offers the Wildlings onion soup after they burn their god’s for Melisandre in echange for safety. Dark compromises.

So the choice between apples and onions is the choice to MAKE a choice. Stop hedging your bets or practicing denial, position yourself, one way or the other.

The woman who refuses to choose, loses her apple, loses the fruit that will set her sick son right, loses her cance at following her inner moral compass and doing the right thing.

There is a tussle, Jon tries to rally them with a speech. They are in a Mutiny at Craster’s Keep kind of mood.

“You want more food?” asked Jon. “The food’s for fighters. Help us hold the Wall, and you’ll eat as well as any crow.” Or as poorly, when the food runs short. (…)

“Fight for you?” This voice was thickly accented. Sigorn, the young Magnar of Thenn, spoke the Common Tongue haltingly at best. “Not fight for you. Kill you better. Kill all you.” The raven flapped its wings. “Kill, kill.” Sigorn’s father, the old Magnar, had been crushed beneath the falling stair during his attack on Castle Black. I would feel the same if someone asked me to make common cause with the Lannisters, Jon told himself. “Your father tried to kill us all,” he reminded Sigorn. “The Magnar was a brave man, yet he failed. And if he had succeeded … who would hold the Wall?”

Jon believes in the greyness of men, but he also believes in choices. You don’t have to be perfect to do the right thing. But you have to do the right thing. Or a thing, anyway. You have to choose.

There is more commotion. Jon decides to make it simpler.

"Hal, what was it that you told this woman?"

Hal looked confused. "About the food, you mean? An apple or an onion? That's all I said. They got to pick."

"You have to pick," Jon Snow repeated. "All of you. No one is asking you to take our vows, and I do not care what gods you worship. My own gods are the old gods, the gods of the North, but you can keep the red god, or the Seven, or any other god who hears your prayers. It's spears we need. Bows. Eyes along the Wall. (…)

He recruits, actively.

“The choice is yours,” Jon Snow told them. “Those who want to help us hold the Wall, return to Castle Black with me and I’ll see you armed and fed. The rest of you, get your turnips and your onions and crawl back inside your holes.”

Apples yay, onions nay. Dany killed the slavers of Astapor, and left alive only children under the age of 12. Jon recruit ages 12 and up for the Watch, girls and boys. Dany killed 163 random slavers. Jon recruits 63 Wildlings.

By the time the last withered apple had been handed out, the wagons were crowded with wildlings, and they were sixty-three stronger than when the column had set out from Castle Black that morning.

The apples win out. No more mention of onions in this chapter.

The chapter ends on a grey note, uncertain but hopeful.

Marsh was unconvinced. “You’ve added sixty-three more mouths, my lord … but how many are fighters, and whose side will they fight on? If it’s the Others at the gates, most like they’ll stand with us, I grant you … but if it’s Tormund Giantsbane or the Weeping Man come calling with ten thousand howling killers, what then?” “Then we’ll know. So let us hope it never comes to that.”

Hilariously, it is not the treachery of the apple-choosing wildlings Jon will have to worry about.

The abundance of onions and apples in this chapter sets up the struggle Jon faces in later ADWD chapters. The bigger picture v. Arya. Apples are done, for now, the onions stalk him. He tries to strikes a balance. He hesitates, he sends Mance, he struggles. In the end, the Pink Letter sends him over the edge.

Apples v. onions. Jon has chosen.

Apples = choice. The choices is… NOT the Watch. Arya. The North. The bigger picture. House Stark.

Apple Quality: withered. Like the very first apple.

Jon stood tall. He told himself that he would die well; that much he could do, at the least. “I know the penalty for desertion, my lord. I’m not afraid to die.” “Die!” the raven cried. “Nor live, I hope,” Mormont said, cutting his ham with a dagger and feeding a bite to the bird. (AGOT, Jon IX)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In conclusion:

Apples signal the necessity for Jon make a moral choice according to his own personal values.

Jon always has his eyes on the bigger picture.

His choices becomes increasingly divorced from the concept of loyalty to the Watch.

There is a pronounced conflict between apple and onion, between moral choice and refusal to choose. Jon tries to walk the line between the letter of his vows and his values. He ends up choosing his values. It goes badly.

The quality of the apples has a relationship with the ease of choosing.

whithered apples are fairly clean choices,

rotten apples are traumatic choices,

autumn apples relate to choices influenced by the wisdom of women, the stealing of women.

There is a future apple promised to “the beastie” as a reward.

If we want to draw a connection to the show, Jon will clearly face another apples v. onions conflict and the need to choose will feature heavily. It will go badly. But there is the promise of home and reward.

#asoiaf #fruit symbolism #apples #jon snow #you have to choose #my posts

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foreverfangirlalways · 4 years

Text

The Astronomer and The Florist (Chapter 4)

Summery: Logan gets Virgil flowers, Virgil is an idiot and thinks Logan is straight, and Patton and Roman are trying not to throttle them both.

Ships: Analogical & Royality

Warning: (none?) -let me know if I need to add a warning-

( I hope you liked it! I’ma go ahead and say that I don’t know for certain that all of the meanings I gave the flowers are 100% correct, it is just what I found in my research. )

—-

*BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BE-

Logan blindly reaches out and hits his alarm clock. When it didn’t shut up, he threw it. It then shut up.

“Ha!” Logan thought, glaring at the offending noise maker. Logan grabbed his glasses and then looked at his night stand. He smiled when he saw the flower list, excited to work out his plan.

He doesn’t have to go into work until 12:30 today, so he gets dressed, pockets the list, and heads for the flower shop.

When Logan and Virgil were talking last night, Virgil said that he doesn’t have to go to work till 11, so Logan figures he has about an hour and a half to convince and get Patton to help him.

Logan opens the door to the shop. Patton looks up from the counter and smiles. “Hiya Logan! What brings you in so early?”

“Good morning Patton. I have come to acquire your assistants.” Patton looked a little surprised at that. “Of course kiddo, what’s up?”

Logan raised his eyebrows at the ‘kiddo’, but decided to leave that question for another time.

“Well, you see,” Logan began, “last night Virgil helped me realize that I wanted to teach, and because of his advice, I proceeded to get into contact with my old Professor. It turns out that he was planning to retire anyways, and is going to ask the College Board if I can be his successor.”

Patton’s smile grew and he clasped his hands in front of him. “That’s great Logan! Though I’m not sure what you need my help with?”

“Ahh, yes, well...” Logan stutters a bit, suddenly becoming a bit flushed. “I have a list of... flowers I want to give Virgil as a thank you, and I was hoping you could help me make the bouquet before he comes into work.” Logan said sheepishly.

Patton full on squealed. “Eeehhh! Of course I will help you! That’s so sweet! So, what flowers did you have in mind? Do they have specific meanings?” Patton asks in a rush, but he also had a knowing gleam in his eyes.

Logan flushed again, becoming an even brighter red. “Yes, they do have meanings, I thought he would appreciate it more if it did.”

Patton nodded vigorously, heading to get the little basket he uses to carry flowers. “He definitely will! Now, how about you tell me what flowers you need and why, then I will get them and make them into a beautiful bouquet for you to give Virgil?!”

Logan, still a bit flushed, cleared his throat. “That would be... that would be quite satisfactory. Thank you Patton.” Patton just waved away the thanks and smiled. “Thank me after you’ve given Virgil the bouquet. Now, what am I getting first?”

Logan then proceeded to tell Patton some of the flowers that were on his list.

“Sweet Peas as a thank you for quality time.”

“Hydrangeas as a thank you for understanding.”

“Campanulas to express gratefulness.”

“Chrysanthemum as a thank you for friendship.”

“Iris’s to symbolize a great care for a new friendship.”

Then Logan got to the part of his list that were no longer thank you’s.

“Gardenias for... secret love or crush.” Logan whispered. Patton literally jumped and awed when he heard that, startling Logan.

“Please continue!” Patton urged.

“Blue Violets for affection.”

“Pink Rose for love and gratitude.”

“White Lotus’s for hopefulness.”

“And finally, White Carnations for luck.”

Patton, having successfully gotten every flower requested, then looked up. “I understand almost all of the flowers, but what about the last two? Why would Virgil need to be hopeful and have luck?”

Logan froze, and chuckled nervously. “Well, those are more for me.” Patton furrowed his eyebrows and Logan continued. “You see, I plan to ask him to join me in a social gathering, that could be viewed as romantic, and I thought the flowers would be appropriate.

Patton instantly started jumping up and down. He put down the basket and gave Logan a quick hug.

“That is simply too cute! Oh my gosh, I have some purple ribbon in the back that Virgil LOVES! Let me go get it!”

Patton got the ribbon and immediately set to tying up the bouquet. As soon as he was done, he hands the purple bound bouquet to Logan.

As soon as Logan has the bouquet in hand, Virgil walks through the door.

Virgil looks up and sees Logan in front of Patton. Virgil smiles, and then he sees the bouquet. It is very pretty, filled with pinks, purples, and whites while tried in a purple ribbon that Virgil really liked. Virgil knew what the flowers in the bouquet meant, and he knew that Logan had gotten them based off of their meanings, because Logan told Virgil last night that is how he buys all of his flowers. Based off of their meanings.

“Nice ‘thank you’ bouquet,” Virgil said, suspiciousness heard in his voice by Patton. “Who is it for?”

Logan, ever the poster of eloquence, responded with, “Uhhhh...” Virgil walks over to Logan and raises his eyebrows in question.

Logan said, and I quote, “they are for a person. A person I am very thankful for their help. Because, as you said, it is a thank you bouquet. For a person.”

Patton fought the urge to facepalm. Logan was a bit nervous. He didn’t plan how he would give Virgil the flowers, he just planned what flowers to give. So now Logan didn’t know what to do. Also, Virgil looked really good in his skinny jeans and purple hoodie, so Logan had a hard time thinking straight.

Virgil is a bit confused and weary. He really likes Logan, and Logan is holding a bouquet full of flowers that mean ‘thank you’ and ‘I like you’. Virgil knows for sure that the flowers aren’t for him, and that makes him very sad. He just didn’t know why Logan didn’t want to tell him who they were for.

Roman entered the store in the midst of Logan and Virgil staring at each, and Roman just looked at Patton. Patton just shook his head and waved Roman over with a look that said “please don’t make noises and come watch these two oblivious idiots with me.”

So Roman naturally went behind the counter and stood next to his boyfriend as quietly as he could.

While Roman went to stand next to Patton, Virgil asked Logan about the bouquet again. “What’s wrong Logan? Cats got your tongue?” He asked in false snark.

Logan went from looking nervous to being completely baffled. “No, my tongue is in my mouth and I don-“

“Logan, buddy, it’s a figure of speech.” “Oh. Uhh, well then.” Logan says while fixing his tie.

He sees Virgil smirk, and decides that the only proper way to give Virgil the bouquet and ask him out is by making him blush as much as Logan was right now.

“You see Virgil,” Logan started, his voice taking on an a more silky tone and making Virgil blush slightly.

“I have recently meet someone who is very spectacular, as well as very attractive. They helped me quite a bit, and I decided that I wanted to treat them. So the flowers are for someone I am particularly fond of, and wish to accompany me on what could be seen as a romantic outing.”

Patton and Roman tried not to erupt in cheers, and looked at Virgil. Virgil has gone very pale, and something akin to a mixture of sadness and disbelief flashed over his face before his expression slammed down into a schooled look of boredom and faint intrigue.

Virgil couldn’t believe he was so stupid. Of course Logan was as straight as his tie. That was just Virgil’s luck. He should have been less careless with his feelings. He was never believing Roman again.

Roman must have just been joking when he said that Logan found Virgil attractive, after all, how could a guy like Logan be gay? For Virgil?

The purple ribbon and pink flowers will make some girl very happy.

“Oh, do you now? Please, tell me more about this person.” Virgil said, trying not to sound sarcastic and hurt.

Patton noticed that something was off, but he didn’t know what. Logan, however, seemed to that as a challenge.

“Oh, they are awesome. We actually share a few interests. They love the sky, are super sweet, very helpful, and objectively the most attractive person I have ever had the pleasure of gazing upon.”

Virgil gets noticeably paler and starts to feel a bit nauseous. He doesn’t think he can take much more of Logan talking about how awesome his soon-to-be girlfriend is.

“That’s great Logan.” Virgil said, slight hurt seeping our and being heard by everyone.

“That’s cool. So what is her name?”

Roman gave up on being silent and faceplams. Patton has never been more disappointed in his dark strange son. Patton knows that Virgil can be oblivious and self-deprecating, but this was just plain stupid.

Logan looked he had a Window Error screen behind his head. He unfroze, and looked at Virgil with a look of complete confusion and utter bafflement. “What did you say?”

Virgil rolled his eyes at Logan, trying not to feel even more hurt. “I just asked what her name was Logan. The girl your going to give the flowers to? If you don’t want to tell me, it’s fine. I was just curious.”

Roman made a strangled sound and Patton whacked his arm. Both Virgil and Logan looked at the couple briefly, having forgotten that they are there, before turning back to look at eachother.

Logan cleared his throat and decided to help Virgil see how this situation wasn’t the only thing not straight.

Logan stepped closer to Virgil, who stepped back a bit. Logan had a very, very serious expression on his face. He was kind of scaring Virgil.

Logan leans in, opened his mouth and says in a completely calm and cool manner...

“Please tell me everything about myself that made you think I am straight, so I can change it immediately.”

Patton choked at Logans brashness and Roman cheered at the fact that his best friend had just used one of his line! Ha! And the line seemed to work wonders.

Virgil blushed because he realizes how close he and Logan are standing, and also at the meaning behind Logan’s words. Virgil mutters something along the lines of, “Sooo... your gay?”

Logan rolls his eyes with a fond look on his face and steps closer to Virgil yet again, Virgil stepping back and hitting the shelf, still a bit uncertain as to if Logan actually meant what he said.

”Yes Virgil, I do identify as gay. And also, these flowers are for you.”Virgil blushes very hard, takes the flowers, and opens his mouth to say thank you.

Instead, “I’M GAY TOO!” Is what he yelled out.

Logan chuckled while Patton facepalmed again. He was going to get a bruise if this kept up.

“Yeah, I had hoped so.” Logan says, leaning into Virgil’s personal bubble slightly. Virgil gulps. “So, would you like to join me in going to the party my job is throwing on Friday? You could see your work in full display.“

Virgil grins shakily and nods. He still couldn’t get over the fact that Logan wasn’t straight!

Logan steps back smirking, completely aware of what he was doing to Virgil, and walks towards the door.

“Excellent. I shall text you more details later. For now, I must go to work.” Logan says, walking out the door.

As soon as the door clicks, Roman and Patton let out twin squeals and turn to Virgil.

Virgil sinks down to the floor, cradling the flowers.

Virgil smells the flowers with a dopey expression. He then looks over at Patton and Roman and says...

“God, I’m too gay for this shit.”

Taglist-

@five-falseh00ds-ph0nated

@dragonwithproblems

@sanders-sides-with-quinn

@aleiimm

@yikesdodson

@kawaiikat54

@thefingergunsgirl

@nerdycupcake559

@softestvirgil

@teacupfulofstarshine

@impatentpending

#Analogical #Royality #sanders sides #Virgil #Logan #Roman #Patton #Thomas Sanders #ao3fic

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akariitsuki42 · 3 years

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Spirit Saga

Ch23

Chapter 22

After all that, I went to where I think is where the throne room is located, sure enough there was a very beautiful throne designed for someone to take charge, I confidently stepped up to it and sat in it. I felt a truckload of power going through my veins, this is it, this is my choice, I'm crowned to be ruler of this realm and I will do what I must to make sure I know what is best for my people. The throne changed to my choice of colors: Black and Purple, with a little touch of White and Red. I felt something furry beneath my left hand, I looked, it was a beautiful white tiger, followed by a lion, and a panther. Am I seeing this or is this really happening? I stood up, the 3 big cats looked at me, I looked down to only seeing a dress that doesn't suit me at all, I could hear her, "You can take that off." I did it with no issue and my style of dresses was none other than the Air dress, I dismissed the cats, they went back to where they came from, I walked to the center and was seeing the symbols from the Portal room, I placed my right hand hovering above the center of the symbols, a big table came up and multiple chairs, I saw the chair with the Spirit symbol, I sat in it and began to see what element should I look for next. Strange, the Sand, Gem, Prism, and the Mirror symbol are not glowing, so that must mean they haven't been born yet, Usami's symbol is glowing. She did said to me that the other girls minus her came from a different timeline, which means she brought them over to help because I had no idea on what was going to happen. Right now, I'm just glad that the realm looks complete but something is very off, even though it looks complete, it still needs the chosen elements to be present and defend it all the way through. This is our home land, if it's threatened by anything, we'll defend it, if we lose the home, we'll avenge it and fight back for it, we will do anything to protect the realm from all evil. That includes the toxic government, or anyone who thinks that they have higher power than me, they better think twice about taking this away from us. I will not stand for being tested for just protecting my home, I do not want to be considered a threat to anyone or anywhere I go. I can totally accept the fact that someone might find this out, but they will not see the world outside ever again because they are considered to be under my control, no matter on who they are. I respect my elderly folk but some of them I do not respect, so what I stand for means something to me dearly and it is going to stay with me, I do not give shit about anything that is against everyone's wishes of me being this helpless, worthless, or whatever you think I was supposed to be, but I do not give a damn on what you think is right for me. This is my chance to make sure my voice is heard by everyone who stands in my way, this is the way I see things my way, no one else but me, anyone who disagrees can go away and think twice before doing so. I have to do this in order for me to fit in, but as I was told, Society itself is a lie, quoted by Deceit Sanders, I was writing down on what I am going to say if the day comes. The voice of the wraith says, "Congratulations, you passed the final test." "Wait, for real?" I asked. I do not know on where she was, but I felt a nod sensation, I'm now Queen of the Elemental Realm, "I need a King do I?" "I got that covered, Ulquiorra is the chosen one," she said, "He does fit the Chaos King very well." "Yeah, he does," I said smiling. Then came Ulquiorra, as if on cue, he looks at me in complete awe, I saw my own reflection, my eyes are more Red Orange Amber, my hair is even more longer than it was before but still the same color. I looked back at him, everyone was behind him, apparently my thoughts went through the table and it made sure everyone heard me that was in the Realm. I heard her say, "This is not according to plan, but this is a start of making sure, Talon doesn't keep pushing you away." "Well, it's going to happen either way," I said, "I am no changing my mind on who takes his place, no one takes Jushiro's place ever!" I was hearing her saying something to herself, I couldn't understand on what she was saying but it's got to be important on what I said. I went to the exit of the portal, to only look for my personal weapon, if I am the embodiment of Spirit then I have to find it in order to protect all the ones I love and cherish the most. I looked behind me, seeing no one so far, good, no one is stopping me from protecting my homeworld on my watch, I took flight with my Pegasus wings to look for my weapon by using my new pair of eyes. I was in the middle of scanning everywhere when I saw multiple aura's of elementals, they have to wait, I need to find my personal weapon where ever it might be located. I was scanning the forested area where I thought I saw a glow from afar so that is where I am heading right now, this needs to happen for me to remain alive because I could feel my own body being slipped away.

It took me a while to find where it was, I am guessing everywhere I find the main 13's weapons, they are always in a meadow like area, minus Talon and Mother, mainly Talon's weapon, anyways, it looks so fitting to be a weapon that represents Spirit. I walked up to it, sat right in front of it, knowing that I have to get in touch with the Spirit Element that I took place in. I concentrated on the whole thing, then the weapon accepted me and 2 spirits came forward, there are the 2 centaurs that I took the forms of, the regular Centaur was my 1st form, then the Pterocentaur my final form, until I got a secret form that the Wraith tells me that I can't unlock it because of reasons I do not have a clue what she is hiding from me, maybe it's for the best if I know along the way. The Centaur said to me, "There are huge battles up ahead in the near future, you carry a heavy burden, you need to take it easy because you will only become vulnerable to your own enemy." "Take our advice, let us guide you to what you need to know," said the Winged Centaur, "You are only crowned Queen, you have much to learn before becoming the true Queen of the Realm." "I understand the price that might come," I said, knowing that it is true. I only know so much that I need to take it easy and make sure that I am doing what is right for me, no one else, the Wraith will tell me if I'm doing something wrong or questionable, but that's because I don't know what is wrong and what is right, I can not please everyone in that Realm but I can only please myself for my own well being and mental health.

#Elemental Defenders #Spirit Saga #Rainbow Arc

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dxxtruction · 4 years

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eps2.5h4ndshake.sme

Mr Robot: Season 2 episode 7

Episode and character analysis

This episode is about connecting but also about deceiving.

—

Joanna

—

The episode starts with a flashback, constructed to not look like one at first (I think this mirrors the bigger reveal at the end up the episode “things aren’t as they appear”).

Joanna looks to have brought in a Sephora bag with her (idk what other places use that stripe design on bags) and a gift has been left on the counter which contain earrings, she can be seen wearing once we jump to the present (She keeps part of Tyrell around, the things he was able to provide her with. The gift giving between them is they’re like way of showing affection. This can’t happen in the same way between her and her new lover, but she’s also willing to commit to him (for now). She even gives him a gift for his birthday to show that.) (Birthdays come up like twice in this episode and I’m not sure why but it means they’re cancers.)

This whole scene is very WHITE, even Tyrell is wearing a bright suit, and everyone at the work party is as well wears white/light gray. White is fairly symbolic of the upper class for several historical reasons, it could also represent a purer time within their relationship. Yet another thought I had goes to the rule about Labor Day, the history of which stems from creating inner class divisions between old and new money. The “rules” which determine being an insider or not. Contextually I think this makes some sense, it could even be a Labor Day event (Joanna getting back from Labor Day shopping at Sephora?). At the party The Wellick’s and the Knowles’ talk with Price who mentions Tyrell’s climbing of positions towards CTO. Him (and Joanna) becoming more a part of the “exclusivity” being introduced through Price to others within his circle like Knowles. (It’s their sort of “handshake” if you will.)

Outside the flashback, present. An old woman comes up to Joanna and spills blood (I imagine pigs blood) on her and runs away. (Definitely a Carrie reference)

“Capitalist pig!”

All the purity of the white she wears stained, her relationship with Tyrell stained, all the things she once had dreamed of having stained, because of blood (Sharon Knowles), and now there is literal blood on her as well. (Also the title card is so good)

—

Joanna is in her home, drinking wine, staring with a mixed emotion down at a photo of an ultrasound. She’s still getting these gifts from “Tyrell”, she has intentions on finding him despite finding herself tied to her new lover (She’ll later say out of all the gifts the ultrasound made her the wettest). (Through Joanna we’re led to believe Tyrell is alive (and he is but she’s not getting presents from him), but Robot says he died because they killed him so it’s a huge whats what. (Elliot doesn’t know about stage 2 or Tyrell being involved and Robot wants to keep it this way.) At the moment we ask if we believe Robot or the presents from Joanna? Turns out neither are entirely truthful. This all becomes answered in the 2 part finale. (This season deals a lot with deception, illusions, and lying.)

—

Joanna is in bed with her lover, she seems to be reenacting the Sharon Knowles choking fantasy (yikes). Derek (I keep not saying his name but it’s Derek.), wants to invite Joanna to his 30th birthday party and Joanna says she can’t come. If she doesn’t come, Derek says she’ll break up with her. Joanna seems taken about this. I think she does enjoy Derek, but I don’t think she enjoys the conditions of this relationship. She knows she’s a potential target so can’t risk going public with this relationship.

—

Joanna doesn’t show up to the party but is at his home waiting for him. It’s revealed here Joanna met Derek at the e-corp party (a nice parallel between Joanna and Tyrell during that party. One walked out with a relationship and the other walked out well… you know.). She’s filing for divorce and this is her “handshake” with him. (This later leads to her demise)

Beaten and Bruised

—

(Rami’s acting (THE BREATHING) in this scene gets me)

Robot props up Elliot and they then do more of a hold hands than a shake. Connection is seemingly being authorized at long last. He talks about handshakes; Initialized connections between two points of access. (Tech lingo.)

He says this to us:

“Hello. I see you, I recognize you, I acknowledge your existence. Let’s talk. Get to know who each other really are. All of this said with the simple act of a handshake between two people.”

He then goes on and says he “Doesn’t know how to follow the rules.”

What he’s about to say to Robot may breaks the rules of this new connection they now seem to have (Robot going that extra mile to protect Elliot from the beating)(Elliot then accepting that Robot is able to help him and they don’t have to fight).

What he mentions is Tyrell, and Robot is agitated that Elliot is hung up on him, but an agreement gets made through negotiation that gets Robot to finally say something in order to fill in those gaps of memory he doesn’t have. (So connection has been made, but it’s gonna be a false trust.)

“P-Popcorn” is the last thing Elliot remembers. (Popcorn is one of those repeated items in the show that connect back to moments in Elliot’s past. It may be a stretch but I think popcorn symbolizes the pretense of dying, given where we see it. It’s a weird irony of having death lie below the surface of whats usually seen as something fun or delightful.)

—

While talking Robot is lying to Elliot that they killed Tyrell (This would simultaneously be making that phone call they had unreal to Elliot’s mind, another part of the illusion. This will later make him think Tyrell IRL is not real). My best guess as to why Robot kept all of this is he figures that Elliot would NOT want what stage two is to happen, and it most definitely needs to happen or Dark Army would be pissed = bad new for them. Robot is once again playing the long game with Elliot to get him to fall for something. This conflict will continue to build, so yes this is the opposite of a handshake happening here, “Rules” broken. However he tells part of the truth about that night up until the point of “shooting” him, probably because Elliots picking up on bits and pieces of it and saying things that didn’t happen would break the fact Robot is lying to him. (He also isn’t looking to fight him because they’re finally working together and Robot’s been wanting that.) (Should read that Elliot is finally starting to trust Robot because of this btw. Like a relationship of trust appears to have been formed here, a perfect handshake. But who’s betraying trust now?)(My other guess is that Robot just wants to see out his plans alone W/O Elliot getting in the way)

—

Elliot gets moved back to Ray’s office. He’ll need a few hours to “move the site.” He’s planning on exposing Ray site, opening it up for more than just TOR traffic, opening it up to the public, in the next scene we see the traffic on the site is booming. To make things easier, he also emailed the FBI an anonymous tip. (Rays move was to let Elliot live and let him turn him in.)

Elliot negotiates a game with Ray and he confesses he never actually knew what was on his site, but Elliot made him look. (Not sure what exactly about Elliot compelled him but Ray talks about Elliot highly because of it.) (Rays sorta a toss at the end (?), morally ambiguous. He never actually knew what was on his site but he’s definitely not oblivious. He ultimately decides he should pay for his crimes. Elliots conversations previous seem to indicate confusion on Ray being a good or bad person, I think the guy sort of did enable all that shit to happen so like nah.)(He was also using Elliot for what he wanted out of him, this seems to be a repeated thing with Elliot and various ppl.)(Seeing him for what he can do for them instead of him as his own person.)(Characters like Darlene or Leon (who live) do seem to see Elliot for who he is.)

“You are my answer. It’s not the other way around. So thank you.”

Elliot quotes: “When you see a good move, look for a better one.” -Emanuel Lasker (World champion chess champion) (Elliot knows a lot of chess factoids) (What’s Elliots good move and what’s his better move?)

“Mr.Robot was a part of me that I created because of my pain. So now we have a chance to start again. Our handshake negotiated us as partners.” (Just a good line)

—

Elliot and Leon talk on the court, Leon mentions that Elliot has to watch out for people. The white guys show up to mess with Elliot but Leon does’t budge when asked. They had stock in Ray’s site and want payback. They definitely don’t feel like starting anything with Leon around.

“Just remember cuz, your sitting under the sword of Damocles.” - the imminent and ever-present peril faced by those in positions of power. (Leons word choice is always very nice)

—

There’s been some time since the last scene, Elliots wounds are better. We are in Church group the leader reads from Dueteronomy 12:29 - “When the Lord thy God shall cut off the nations from before thee, whither thou goest to possess them, and thou succeedest them, and dwellest in their land;”

I’m not gonna say I’m a bible expert by any means but it’s a big metaphor for “curiosity killed the cat”, to guard oneself against sinful curiosity and thereby betraying god by falling for errors in judgment; or else. Seems befitting enough to Elliots situation. (“Curiosity killed the cat”, Both in prison when his itch gets scratched with Ray landing him in a bunch of painful situations and at the end of the season when his curiosity towards Robot’s possible plotting leads him towards Tyrell who eventually has to shoots him.(thing is these were just curiosities)) (I can see this being VERY relatable to WR. She wants the Congo, and its her errors in judgement that make for her undoing.(These are more sinful))

—

There’s conversation then had between her and him about being fearful and vigilant as good, because it means gods present with him (IDK church stuff). The church lady thinks he speaks to Jesus/God, “If you let Jesus into your heart he’ll always listen.” (Jesus can be read as a prophet, Robot calls himself Elliot’s prophet), Elliot ends up speaking to Robot.

This is a continuation of this thing between them, “I was supposed to be your prophet, but you were supposed to be my god!” (Robot; season 1 episode 10), but also "Mr. Robot has become my god, and like all gods, their madness takes you prisoner." (Elliot; season 2 episode 3).

(It would take longer than an single episode analysis to unpack the religious themes in this show but I’ll say a few things.) The show is seeped with these religious themes everywhere, I’m still piecing sense together about it. It’s probably some way of saying the forces of life are mysterious at times, we can’t always understand them and yet they carry an amount of power over you. And that Powerful people are like gods. Gods are about to create things but they’re also able to destroy. They may guide you and they may also control you. God may be symbolic of power itself. Deciding who are the gods and masters and who are the men? Whoever has control over the world is he god? Should anyone be allowed to be?

Elliot doesn’t believe in god but Mr.Robot he can talk to and needs to talk to. He needs to know what it all means to work together as partners. Elliot has decided that they need to continue with their work, yet doesn’t know if he like’s what robot has to offer about it. Robot tells him Elliot is actually a leader, that he led the entire world into a revolution. Robot says he follows him simply because he does lead.

“I don’t want to be a leader.” (Probably has some preconceived notions on leaders being terrible people, but also might not feel he’d make a good leader given who he is)

Robot says to get anything done with E-corp it’s gotta have to happen like that.

This conversation between them seems like more metaphor to me, Elliot must sacrifice what he wants (not to be a leader) in order to move things forward to change the world and Jesus had to make a similar decision on sacrifice. (Whats weird about this scene though is how nothing seems to play out of it, after Elliot gets out he’s more of less on Ecorp’s side in order to prevent destruction. And wondering if Robot is even saying anything of truth here or if he’s simply further deceiving Elliot this whole time that they can work together on finishing things.)

—

Book burning: Elliot burns his journal because he doesn’t have any use for it anymore. Hot Carla and him stand and watch over it while he smokes a cigarette. (In RedWheelbarrow Carla has taken this apparently during some kind of riot. I think it’s this riot that lets the next thing happen without any guards coming by)

Attack: The racist white guys make their move on Elliot. They (the main guy) say they’re gonna “fix that courage problem of yours”. Robot takes all the punches for Elliot (King). (TW) They’re definitely taking off Elliot’s belt when they turn him around (fuccck)(TY Leon). Leon does his blade action and saves Elliot then we get the reveal.

“Gonna get a letter on Tuesday, do what it says.”

*stabs a guy in the ass*

“Hey yo man, when you see Whiterose. Make sure you say I did you good.”

*yanks his knife out of said mans ass*

“I’ll be rooting for you cuz, Always.”

Elliot’s in shock (who wouldn’t be?) (This establishes a lot between Elliot and Leon, I think it forms a true trust, but its one met with uncertainty)(This can be paralleled with Robot’s in a way, forming a false trust met with more certainty.)(…Don’t read much into what I say lol.) (It’s nice that ultimately both these connections do end up sticking around.)

—

Krista reads over Elliots release notice. (Tuesday I assume)

“But you were right, you can’t destroy a part of yourself.”

Elliot’s mentioning his “reality” the construction of prison as his moms place (perhaps little on the nose on how it was in the real house). Krista makes sure he hasn’t actually fallen into believing the delusions and we finally get the reveal that this is a prison (Honestly how did I not pick up on this sooner in the first watch?).

“Sometimes control can be an illusion, but sometimes you need an illusion to gain control. Fantasy is an easy way to give meaning to the world. To cloak our harsh reality in escapist comfort. After all isn’t that why we surround ourselves with so many screens? So we can avoid seeing?” (This line plays into a lot of things besides Elliot’s illusion. You could relate Price’s negotiations with the government to “make people believe” to this. You could relate Ray to this. You can relate Angela’s persona of professionalism to this. Whiterose’s machine gets references as a fantasy or something along those lines. You could relate Religion into this. All of them put on “masks”, or make others put on the masks, some avoid seeing and others think they see but they don’t. Ultimately every single one is trying to cope and grapple with life. And wearing them makes it possible to fight for the control they want (or are forced to want…))(I love the way this show messes with perception)

Angela / FBI / internal work

Dom tries to get something out of Angela about why she was on the FBI floor. Angela tells her about her Lunch plans. Dom (still pushing) expresses her curiosity about her job history, then mentions needing a statement from her before leaving. (She seems to be trying to fish for a reaction.)

Angela doesn’t react much, but she seems to falter towards the end, Dom says “Whatever this is? It isn’t like you,” and leaves.

Angela then completes connection to the wifi. They now own the FBI.

As part of this all security footage data is is corrupted on E-corps security cameras, a total wipe. Dom is present on the scene and suggests looking at Angela Moss’s computer. It’s the 3rd of July. (This Op later proves to be fairly pointless on FSociety’s end of things. The real ones who gain anything from this are DA.)(and because people keep perceiving that they have any control over what happens things end up worse.)

—

Angela is in a taxi on her way back home the night of the pwn. The TV in the Cab tells us how things are escalating, we get hints of switching over to e-coin, and suggestions that more services are beginning to stop.

Angela sees Darlene waiting outside the building. Angela hasn’t picked up any of Darlene’s messages or calls which is why she’s there (Angela’s pissed after finding out about Cisco).

We get what Angela has been piecing together throughout this entire time, she sorta knew at the beginning but also didn’t want to admit her friends would do something like this. She understands they’re hackers and could do something like this, but wasn’t able to admit 5/9 was them up until a certain point. Cisco certainly confirmed any unresolved ideas.

“You guys always thought that you were smarter than me. But come on. You never actually hid it that well. Every halloween, when we were kids. You guys made me watch that shitty scary movie. It was so bad.” (This line makes me think the Aldersiblings have always kept things from Angela, and have always kept her out of their more criminal hobbies, but for good reasons. That the siblings grew into very different tastes than Angela so she ended up an outsider of sorts. This jab towards the siblings seems to continue Angela’s story line of feeling under appreciated.)

—

Angela mets with her dad, who works at Walmart. He’s restocking FIVE/NINE emergency kits. Which he mentions are flying off the shelfs after the attack on Washington. (This episode does a lot of alluding to whats going on outside the main plot, forming a connection we previously weren’t getting much of)

Things get tense, this is the point where there relationship breaks. Angela betrays her mom by doing what she’s doing, but also her dad. We don’t ever see him again I’m pretty sure. There’s also an obvious class divide between them, we see just how polarized they’ve become. Somehow Angela is still convinced that what she’s doing will fix things (perceiving more control than she thinks she has).

—

Price meets with Angela.

“You protecting some evil secret agenda?”

(“Don’t we all protect our evil secrets agendas?”)

Angela wants to be moved to a manager position in risk management. (In order to change things from within).

Price confesses that it is his birthday, this is a secret from everyone but he shares with her and invites her to celebrate but she refuses. He’s definitely trying to build some type of relationship to her, since he’s her real dad and all. To Price finalizing the deal how WR needed it to be means Angela is no longer in immediate danger so maybe he’s more relaxed about opening up to her. I think one of Angela’s coworkers said this but it must seem strange to everyone else in the office there relationship, I think Angela finds it strange as well. Angela is an anomaly, caught in so many webs, and even WR sees it.

—

Angela’s first day in risk management, the man, who’s a director in risk management, showing her around. He mentions Flint,MI (who STILL doesn’t have clean water) as a thing they’re currently looking into. He apparently knew Gideon, worked with him a couple times. Angela’s hyper professionalism is super off, and its because literally every other person makes small talk and is fairly casual but her. I think it’s her way of commanding respect, something she wants is to feel respected. Angela doesn’t falter around, the problem is this persona of hers starts to carry on to her other relationships, it consumes her. (I just think to when she shuts Elliot away with her office professionalism in the episode where the buildings blow up.. 3.5?)

—

In Angela’s meeting Susan Jacobs (the executioner, f-society is using her house as HQ) is mentioned to be taking vacation days. (Hint dropped that she may be stopping by her house.)

A lot of legal settlement lingo is just thrown around everywhere (making us feel intimidated but also showing how Angela may find herself lost in this environment). Angela tries to get a shoe in on the conversation by suggesting to put together a summary, but obviously this wasn’t gonna work. Price told the head of risk management to treat Angela “however you want” and this guy finds Angela to be a suspicious case.

—-

F Society -

The gang are all over Mobley’s laptop (top secret call happening on OpBerenstain)(It reads that this should be the same day as the hack when Darlene comes in, which happened on the 3rd.)

(The show sort of hints that this next bit is whats on Mobley’s screen previous, but the dates don’t line up. “Tomorrow” isn’t the seventh.) The House of Representatives. (7/7/15) at 2:07 pm ET #droptheballs happens. Kinda a legendary move that just says “suck on these” to the government. However this scares some people into thinking the worlds ending (hence E corp selling out of emergency kits and needing the restock. Capitalism <3s to sell us our panic it created in the first place.) (and when we buy into that aren’t we buying into its fantasy?)

#h4ndshake.sme #mr robot #I'm not gonna bother tagging everyone who appears in this episode.#Also this is being posted out of order cause i'm still working on episode 6 #these are for fun so like dont take any of my takes seriously

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teddylawrence · 4 years

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task 001 baybee!

PREFERRED NAME — bri

PRONOUNS — she/they either work fr me tbh

AGE — 22

TIMEZONE — est

HOW OFTEN ARE YOU ONLINE? — literally too much.......... like if i’m not online on my laptop i’m lurking on mobile it’s a Problem

HOW DID YOU HEAR OF WATERSHED? — i’m friends w the asshole who Created It /:

DISCORD — chocalety milk#0458

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — uh my personal is here n my pinterest is here im always down to give out twitter n insta too if anyone wants it :B

MYER-BRIGGS — istp

HP HOUSE — slytherin

ZODIAC — gemini

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — like a lot yes an embarrassing amount i am, in fact, that white girl that asks what ur sign is like 3 minutes into meeting them im not PROUD of it its jst me this is real this is me

DO YOU ENJOY ASTROLOGY? — i have the gemini symbol tattooed on me.

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — i think like 13?? or 12 i cant remember tbh

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — 2011 or something i dnt wanna do math thts jst a random guess

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — the magic returns, it was a next gen harry potter rp tht i was in fr im not kidding my entire high school career

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — idk a kangaroo i think........ i kno they can actually b super aggressive and r jacked as fuck bt its rly cute when baby joey’s r in their mama’s pouches

WHAT PET DO YOU GENUINELY CONSIDER GETTING SOMEDAY? — i want another cat so bad and i’d like to have a dog again someday tbh

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — the first song on my discover weekly is 2all by catfish and the bottlemen n i put my spotify on shuffle too n the first song that came up was imaginary parties by superfruit

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — i think besides to kill a mockingbird, brave new world by aldous huxley was my fave??

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — i genuinely can’t even think of a book i hated......... maybe the great gatsby, its my english teacher’s fave n she was hyping it up sm but it jst kinda bored me??

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — i’m binging stranger things with my mom rn and shameless on my own, both r Dumb Good i’m quite obsessed.................

WHAT FILM DID YOU LAST WATCH? DID YOU LIKE IT? — i finished texas chainsaw massacre like the original with my bf and i thought it was rly boring NSDGLJSKDLGH film nerds everywhere b spitting on me rn /:

FAVOURITE QUOTE — i genuinely don’t think i even have one............ there’s been a few that’ve always Touched Me bt i can’t even think of one rn

LINK TO A VINE / TIK TOK / VIDEO THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this bad boy right here

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — i’m attempting nanowrimo but it’s frankly not going well and other than that?? i haven’t in forever but should start again tbh

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL LOVE & TRUST — noel miller, cody ko, chris klemens

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — harry styles until the day i die baybee!

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i met kurtis conner at the last 1975 concert i went to it was quite awkward i cld jst tell he did not want 2 take another picture LHSDGLKHSDG

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — tbh in the summer all my friends and i do is sit in my backyard drinking beers and playing card games so that

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — the mandela effeect

ARE ALIENS REAL? — yes ofc u cannot look me in the eye and tell me we’re the only living species in the universe

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — /: i have 4 diff versions of candy crush on my phone...............

PLAY ANY OTHER GAMES? WHICH ONES? — i was never allowed to play like any computer/video games growing up so i jst never did it was a sad childhood

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — i can’t think of one....... maybe surfs up i was obsessed with that when i was little bt i bet if i watched it now i wld hate it LSHDGKLHSDLKG

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — ticket stubs from the movies i go to, weird like vintage/homemade jewelry tht i never wear, old coins, etc.

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — politics tbh

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — spanish, latin, mandarin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — tangled........ i went thru a phase fr 2 months where i watched it every day i was so obsessed...........

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — rue from euphoria probs the most tbh

IS THERE ANY MEDIA (BOOK/MOVIE/GAME/TV SHOW) YOU FEEL CHANGED YOU IN SOME WAY? — maybe the harry potter series...... the biggest rp besides this one i was in was based off it n what not so

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — like now tht i have a bf who likes sports kind of?? my whole family loves watched the blue jays baseball and maple leafs hockey games so i Sit There bt i dnt rly . care tht much JSDGKLHLDSG

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — /: reading?? fkin...... Drinking, i do some music stuff tht i need to . focus on again

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — uh?? watch chris klemens on youtube if u dont

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? (IF NOT APPLICABLE, WHO DO YOU LIKE MOST IN THE TWILIGHT SERIES) — i was jacob when i was younger now? alice and jasper........ the Real otp of twilight

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — the lighthouse

DO YOU STILL READ FOR FUN? — not as much as i wish i did /:

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — the furies fr the watershed book club

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – i didnt hate it rly i like talking abt myself quite a bit its jst the truth

#wshtask #wshtask001 #:B

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incarnateirony · 5 years

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Re: 14.14, Ouroboros

So I said I’d write a post about this on Monday but I got more free time today to at least get started on churning out thoughts because, holy shit am I excited. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a modern day hermeticist, I’ve banged pots and pans about the Men of Letters and “Aquarian Star” before, but seeing the Ouroboros pulled up is just Y E S. I went to go find my mountain of serpent jewelry but realized I just woke up and ain’t nobody got time for that.

Anyway rather than writing like I have a stick up my ass I try to make it modern and fun so hopefully this won’t be too agonizing.

Let it be said I don’t think everything I could ever talk about will come up in an episode but Yockey has proven great at manifesting really abstract concepts and I can see how he’s been arranging for something like this.

Okay first point people can gloss off of a wiki article: The sign of the ouroboros is a fairly universal emblem. We find it in Egypt, people have drawn relation to Jormungand, there’s a lot of mesoamerican and related cultures that have their own version, there’s mention of it in Vedic texts, so it’s kind of everywhere, but hermetics and alchemy are probably the most recurrent gong-bangers about it, as well as adjacent thoughts like gnosticism.

More babbling than this is gonna have me put it beyond a cut because, holy crap batman.

OKAY: the shorthand version you probably know is that the Ouroboros of alchemy is a cyclic figure, the serpent eating its own tail endlessly, and the symbol of “all is one.”

“That the first day should make the last, that the tail of the snake should return to its mouth precisely at that time, and they should wind upon the day of their nativity.”

Every beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. *anonface NPC whispers in ear* Wait, that’s a song? *leans into whisper* Oh they used it on the quote board season 13?

Neat.

Anyway, I’m also side-eyeing “The Shadow” now and wondering if they chose that name for Jungian purposes, because Jung also tapped on the ouroboros. Just like alchemists, the thought of consuming yourself was thought to be like

bad gifs aside, in jungian psychology specifically, eating one’s own tail is also consuming the shadow, of which all people have, as a sort of primitive collective subconscious dreaming thing we all bubble up thoughts in and hide away parts of ourselves we don’t want. Or at least don’t want to admit exist or show to the world. (Carl Jung, Collected Works vol 14)

In Jungian thought it’s specifically part of attaining a true Persona, which you may remember me yelling about the psychology of a game series with a similar namesake.

Anyway, we consider this cycle of eating our own tail as somehow bad, but a lot of the symbolism came from, to the common eye, the immortality of serpents. They shed their skin and just kept growing. Obviously we know snakes aren’t truly immortal but that was the symbolism involved in it. The idea that all things cycle, that all things come to a full ring, but that the end of the ring isn’t a bad thing, just a new beginning, powered by the mistakes and advances of the old one.

So on the psychological side of things, the ouroboros is us having parts of ourselves that we don’t want to admit exist, that we take on, master, and start over again on a new journey, reaching the point of our birth to begin with.

Either way, it doesn’t just end at psychology, as one of the key matters of hermetics is “as above, so below.” Or as Gabriel put it in season five, “As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth.” Gabriel, 5.08

Just... and-or the other way around, it puts it into a standard of sort of... relativity, chicken or the egg.

The Ouroboros is just one of several transitioning forms of the alchemical and hermetic serpent, which includes Nehushtan the brazen serpent,

In close association to the crucified serpent, as well as Asclepius and the Caduceus,

Funny we just saw Dean on a cover wearing an Asclepius pendant but OKAY whatever.

Anyway a quick brush over these attributes is that the brazen or crucified serpent is a snake that has broken its cycle and rather than simply consuming itself to exist and ‘grow’, it climbs the tree it would have been staked on. The image of the small idol there is it climbing the qabbalistic tree of life, which has a whole bunch of associations.

Notice the handy dandy traveler’s guide fnear the bottom-centerish of the image that looks like a zig zag or arguably, a sharp snake. Yeah, that thing. Yes, I keep that around my desk. Yes, it’s relevant to me. Yes, my cat has puked on it and I’ve had to clean it up, sorry about that. But the notes all over the page should probably tell you just about the kind of ideas this tree and climbing it considers.

But, still likened to the ouroboros, once the serpent reaches the top of the tree, it descends in the form of a white dove from kether to malkuth, and sort of starts its cycle over again. Similarly, when not specifically the brazen serpent but rather the nailed crucified one, it’s a matter of transmuting the self by mastering the dark serpent, the other self, sort of binding it unto itself. The specific readings on this vary, but think of it like removing unnecessary chemicals that are mucking up an experiment, but not necessarily dividing from the shadow, as even the caduceus -- much less Jungian thought -- recognize the need for the shadow and things we consider not-good a lot of the time. It’s all about balance.

And that ascent to the divine also keeps it from being a stagnant cycle, but takes that whole “growth” part to another level, represented as a spiral, often tapping on the Fibonacci sequence, which is why Tool’s Lateralus album written all over with alchemical and hermetic concepts is sequenced to the Fibonacci spiral.

So I’m going to try to avoid getting into a ten billion page exposition about lengthy qabbalistic thought on the many planes, but you’ll notice one part of the image is its relation to the inner man (bottom right) -- part of that As Above So Below.

Also a lot of the time there are two snakes, that are arguably eating each OTHER to “grow” in their cycle. In this case, one has wings to represent volatile substance (”the bird of hermes is my name, eating my wings to keep me tame.”), while the other has no wings, representing fixed substance. But the creature(s) birth each other, metaphorically-marry, and slay each other in this circle of eternity, perpetual motion, but immobile, yet always in motion, recoiling on itself. It’s creation to order, and back to chaos, it’s the background radiation of the universe, it’s just this weird perfection-in-stasis, and yet, with the psychology aspect attuned, still room for improvement. Even the brazen serpent still has a cycle which basically involves passing go, collecting 200 dollars, and going back down as an enlightened dove to work its way back up this infinity ladder again.

Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

The path of the serpent, and the balanced polarity of the related caduceus, is all about attaining personal perfection and completion, manifest “so below” into the physical world through ideas like the pursuit of gold in the philosopher’s stone, but there’s so much more to it than Just That. It’s about the self, the Best self, but the journey never being over.

youtube

#supernatural adjacent #speculation adjacent #14.14 #steve yockey #my meta #pagan life #serpent #shadow #anima #souls

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hamliet · 5 years

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Disney Princesses as Strong Women: Cinderella’s Courage and Compassion

Ah, time for one of my favorite princesses and perhaps the most common target of, for lack of a better term, haters. As a film, Cinderella is a surprisingly realistic portrayal of abuse and how abuse survivors cope, as well as an optimistic fairytale.

As a disclaimer, there is room for legitimate criticism of Cinderella and this is not going to invalidate any valid criticism of her film, but rather offer a different perspective on her film and specifically on Cinderella as a character.

Cinderella is too girlish! Cinderella waits for a man to save her! Or so the criticisms go. As for the latter, that’s blatantly not true according to the story, and as for the former, well... I’ll quote part of what I said in my Snow White analysis here, adapted for Cinderella:

If you... devalue her based on the strong presence of her traditionally feminine traits while ignoring her very real and very present strength[s], perhaps you should be reexamining your own sexism.

As for Cinderella herself, her defining traits are not that she cooks and cleans--she sings as she does so, but she also doesn’t voluntarily do any of it, unlike Snow White. She does however do almost everything out of compassion both for others and for herself. Why compassion is seen as a feminine trait is honestly another discussion all together and it’s disturbing that this does appear to be a common assumption. Compassion is good. The answer isn’t to not emphasize compassion in a female character (who, by nature of existing in a fairy tale for children, is going to be a relatively simple character), but rather emphasize it for male characters as well. Cinderella (1950) does also play with gender roles several times, notably with Lady Tremaine (the wicked stepmother) and with the Grand Duke.

This film goes out of its way to highlight Cinderella’s compassion as the trait that is most beautiful about her, though it’s certainly a valid criticism that the stepsisters are noted to be “awkward” (the film never uses the word “ugly”) and Lady Tremaine is noted to be jealous of Cinderella’s beauty--but also her charm, aka her personality.

It’s noted that Cinderella’s father married Lady Tremaine only because he felt his daughter “needed a mother’s care.” In other words, the man’s own insecurity and belief that he wasn’t enough led to him marrying the woman who would later abuse Cinderella. In other words, because he didn’t think he could be enough of a feminine influence on her, she wound up being abused. Damn you sensitive masculinity.

But it’s also notable that the father is noted to love his child very much, and that compassion is clearly very important to Cinderella’s journey. Under her father’s care, the chateau she grows up in is noted to be beautiful, but once he dies Lady Tremaine “squanders” the fortune on her daughter’s “vain and selfish” interests, letting the chateau fall into disrepair. The chateau can be seen as symbolic of Cinderella herself in some ways, but also of Lady Tremaine--the more energy and time she spends on her selfish jealousy, the more she doesn’t realize that her inner beauty is falling into disrepair.

Cinderella’s got a backbone. The girl is not a pushover even when she’s being ordered around. Starting from her very first proper scene, wherein she teases the birds for waking her up and tries to stay asleep. But she can’t, because she’s got to face the world, which is not as kind to her. She grouses at the clock, complaining that “even he orders me around." When Anastasia and Drizella accuse her of deliberately putting a mouse in her cup, she starts the conversation with her stepmother with “oh please, you don’t think that I--” She tells them “I’m still a member of the family.” She is smart. She is polite to her abusers, yes (often, unfortunately, that’s realistic and a survival strategy) and even kind to Lucifer, the privileged fat cat (and the best character). And yet Cinderella doesn’t take Lucifer’s bullshit, sarcastically telling him “I’m sorry if Your Highness objects to an early breakfast.” She has spunk.

However, Cinderella is also naive and prone to losing herself in dreams. Dreams are coded as positive in Cinderella, but also as something that doesn’t suffice as a long-term solution. Instead, dreams are tools that help you escape. For example, the Fairy Godmother’s illusion is basically a waking dream that enables her to reach her escape. But the Fairy Godmother also warns her the dream comes with a time limit, and she needs to pay heed to it (and almost doesn’t): “But like all dreams, it can’t last forever.” The next morning, Cinderella again loses herself to her daydreams, humming and singing and so lost in her dreams that she doesn’t hear her animal friends trying to warn her that Lady Tremaine is about to lock her in the tower. Which she does.

Yet without dreams, Cinderella could not have survived the years leading up to her dream becoming a reality for a few hours. As she directly states, while Lady Tremaine can take almost everything from her, no one can order her to stop dreaming. While Cinderella is trapped in an abusive situation, she desperately wants to leave, and she believes she will escape some day. A dream, for Cinderella, is escapism, because she can at least be free from something the film itself directly calls “abuse” and “humiliation.” Dreams are not silly; speaking as an abuse survivor myself, sometimes that’s all you have. In her song “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes,” she sings:

In dreams you will lose your heartache

Whatever you wish for you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday

Your rainbow will come smiling through

No matter how your heart is grieving

If you keep on believing

The dream that you wish will come true.

Is it simplified? Sure. But that’s a beautiful message to give kids suffering. And given the dual coding of dreams as being something you cannot lose yourself in either, it gives a practical message of acting on your dreams as well.

Cinderella’s compassion is primarily shown through her treatment of the pesky animals, the ones that disgust her stepsisters (like mostly mice, but also birds and Bruno, the dog whom Cinderella warns the stepmother wants to kick out). But she encourages the mice to be smart and Bruno to learn to like cats (aka Lucifer) if only for practical reasons (because they’ll throw him out otherwise). I think this reveals a good deal of Cinderella’s mindset: that she does what they want her to do because she wants to survive. She wants a warm bed and food, and running away all on her own would ensure she’d lose that. Abuse victims do genuinely weigh their options like this, and choosing to stay (especially as a dependent, like Cinderella is) is not something that should be condemned.

The moment Cinderella hears that a mouse (GusGus) is in the rat trap, she stops what she’s doing and rushes down the stairs. In other words, while she can’t yet escape, she’ll be damned if she’ll let someone else suffer abuse in a trap they can’t leave. Not only that, but GusGus is terrified and Cinderella notes as such, and asks for someone who better understands (Jack) to talk to him, and even though GusGus is aggressive at first, Jack’s insistence that they like him and Cinderella likes him coaxes him out of the cage. In other words, compassion and kindness enable him to make a courageous choice and leave the cage.

GusGus is the opposite of Cinderella in some ways: he directly wants to challenge Lucifer until Jack begs him not to. He wants to fight, but practically speaking, it’s just stupid for a mouse to go up against a cat, and Cinderella too lacks the means to go up against her stepfamily. It’s a realistic portray of abuse. GusGus also repeatedly makes naive choices, but in contrast to Cinderella, he tends to be more active (taking risks that aren’t exactly the wisest). For example he gets attacked by the more powerful chickens in a quest for food and they steal his food (it’s foreshadowing to the later scene where the stepsisters will tear Cinderella’s dress from her), but Cinderella intervenes and she gives a downtrodden mouse some food.

Like Snow White, Cinderella’s kindness is rewarded, in that the mice and birds are genuine friends to her (it’s a kids movie don’t take it too literally). They help her make her bed, shower, etc. in the morning, and they then make her dress for her when she doesn’t have time to do it herself. And again, there is a realistic portrayal of abuse in that the stepmother dangles a false hope/dream in front of Cinderella: finish all your chores and get something nice to wear, and you can come--but she fully intends to never let Cinderella come by giving her extra chores.

Despite being a fairytale, in Cinderella, compassion is not always rewarded by things working out. The stepsisters are not just jealous of Cinderella’s looks and her own compassion, but the compassion given to her. They don’t want the beads or the sash, but Lady Tremaine manipulates them into tearing them from Cinderella. Again, it’s realistic to abuse, because parents will often mobilize and manipulate other children to target one.

This is Cinderella’s nadir, in which she sobs, “It’s no use. No use at all. I can’t believe. Not anymore. There’s nothing left to believe in. Nothing,” That’s pretty dark for a kid’s movie, but honestly... don’t we all know that feeling? I certainly do. Cinderella’s arc is about learning to be courageous and take steps in that courage, and this is the moment all of it deserts her, because the one thing she has that connects her to others--compassion--appears to have all been for naught.

What gives Cinderella the push of courage she needs to leave the chateau? The compassion of the fairy godmother. And the fairy godmother makes the ordinary things, the despised things like mice and Bruno (an old dog at risk of being thrown out) into magical things, again reinforcing the theme that the ordinary can be extraordinary, and that the real magic is in the compassion and love she shares with her friends (who are animals because it’s a kid’s fantasy movie). In the end, though the dress they made for her was destroyed, she still couldn’t get to the ball without her friends.

So Cinderella is off to the ball, and that’s when she will meet the prince--who is having to deal with his own issues. The Grand Duke is not nearly so abusively coded as Lady Tremaine, but he is kind of unreasonable and threatening towards his vizier. He also plays with gender roles in that he is the father begging his son to marry and make babies because he wants to hear the little feet of his grandchild. He literally dreams about it, and again shows the potential danger of becoming too attached to dreams in that he’s not very nice and is pretty controlling in his wishes to make dreams happen (aka, there’s not a ton of compassion). That being said he’s coded comically and does want his son to genuinely fall in love. Also of note: usually the nagging parent desperate for grandkids in fiction is a mother, not a father.

At the ball, the Prince’s sees Cinderella wandering around, lost and out of place, and goes to comfort her. His compassion leads him to her.

They sing a song together, and, well, to quote this amazing article about Snow White:

they share a song together, which is Disney/musical theatre code switching for “romantic/sexual love.” Generally speaking, the big waltz that Disney’s romantic duos share at the end of the movie is their act of sexual consummation—sex without sex on Disney terms

Again, it is not sexual. It just conveys the same emotional meaning for the characters as sex would in a romcom. It’s a fairytale for kids so of course they fell in love in a few hours--that isn’t meant to be a recipe for real life love advice. She also doesn’t know he is the prince and says as much when she leaves, telling him “I haven’t even met the prince yet!” as an excuse to run. In other words, contrary to the common narrative that she went out looking for a man to save her, she did not. She went out looking to have a good time and happened to find a man.

The song they sing is “So This is Love” and includes the lyrics “My heart has wings/and I can fly.” Because Cinderella--she’s free now. And throughout the rest of the film, she is free. The guards try to stop her as she flees under the time restriction but she makes it through the palace’s gates. No one and nothing--not the royal guards, not the chateau she grew up in, not the cruelty of her stepmother and stepsisters--can hold her back now. Even though she does go back to the chateau as many abuse victims do, her compassion has enabled her to make connections that will have set her free, and she will run to physical freedom soon enough.

Her stepmother realizes it too: once Cinderella hears the man she was dancing with was the prince, she drops the trays (symbolic of her servanthood, as she’s repeatedly shown carrying those trays) in shock, and as Anastasia and Drizella threw clothes and orders at her to help them get dress, she dreamily shoves them back into their arms and goes to get dressed herself instead.

When the stepmother locks her in the room, it’s the mice who face off with Lucifer, but this time not for mere food, but for their friend, and they free her. The mice dive straight into the teacups to get the key from Lady Tremaine, which is also a callback to an earlier scene in which GusGus was trapped in a teacup to hide from Lucifer.

The man is also about to give up and is distraught when Cinderella is finally freed but Lady Tremaine smashes the slipper. But Cinderella pulls out another slipper, again showing herself capable of helping other people scared of people in power over them. Her compassion saves her, and saves others around her. When Cinderella gets married the mice and old horse and Bruno, who all played a role in freeing her from Lady Tremaine and also escorted her to the ball, are celebrating with her. Because Cinderella’s story is meant to give hope to the people in her story, and to the audience.

A dream cannot save you, but it can give you a chance to escape by giving you the hope you need. Compassion and courage is what will save you. I think that’s a beautiful message within Cinderella.

Thanks for reading! Up next, Princess Aurora from Sleeping Beauty--which was one of my favorite movies as a kid. For previous entries in this series, see here:

Snow White’s Self-Esteem

#disney meta #Disney Princess #cinderella #cinderella meta #lady tremaine #prince charming #feminism #abuse

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