#should know when to stop talking at this point
darling-i-read-it · 2 days ago
Matt Murdock x fem!reader
Word Count: 1.1k
Warnings: nothing I don’t think!
Author’s Note: I think the prospect of this story is hilarious and foggy is a comedy genius im sorry matty
Summary: Based on the story Foggy told in like two lines to karen at some point about the guys back in college but i added the reader lol
Genre: fluff
I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator
(not my gif)
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You sat on Matt’s bed, your legs crossed beneath you. You had your arm propped up on your knee and your chin in your hand. You looked lazily at Foggy as he leaned against his bed on the other side of the room. He had his thinking face on, the one he used when he was actually doing assignments and not getting drunk in the morning. You should both be doing homework. You had a paper due by the end of the week and Foggy had some extra special case prep practice.
But he was sipping on a bottle of beer. You had opted out of a headache on this fine Friday morning.
“That is mean,” you said, shaking your head.
“You just think it’s mean because you’re in love with the guy.” You scoffed.
“I am currently in his bed yeah.” You were also wearing one of Matt’s hoodies and one of his spare sunglasses. You thought they looked funny on you. He always liked to trace your face and then land on the glasses indents. He would say you looked cute and then you would say he couldn’t know that for sure. Wearing them was just an assurance that you gotta have that cheesy conversation over and over again until one of you got bored of it.
“I can only do it with someone else's help. He won’t be back for another two hours. Come on. Please.” You narrowed your eyes. Foggy looked at you expectantly, leaning forward on his bed.
“Ha! Yes!” Foggy jumped up, putting his beer down immediately.
“But I am not helping you put it back. I want to watch you do it on your own.”
“I would call you kinky if I didn’t unfortunately sleep next to you and your boyfriend.” You flushed, standing up.
“Have you already talked to Ben across the way? If we’re putting the stuff in his room then we have to.”
“Yeah, I asked him last week. He and his roommate are never there anyway.”
“Let’s start with the dresser.”
In about an hour and a half you and Foggy had moved every piece of Matt’s furniture to the dorm across the hall. You wiped the sweat from your forehead and stood up straight, putting your hands on your hips. You leaned against the doorframe, admiring your handiwork. The room was half empty. You giggled, shaking your head.
“This is so cruel.”
“He deserves it, he took my cottage cheese last week,” Foggy said. He looked even more exhausted than you did. You nodded once and pushed yourself off the wall. You looked towards the hallway and saw the elevator open. It was Matt.
“And not a second too soon!” you whispered, slinking into your room. Foggy sat down on his bed. You looked around confused for a moment, not sure where to sit now that Matt’s side of the room was gone. Finally you just sat down on the floor.
There was a beat of silence as you and Foggy listened. You suppressed your laughter. You couldn’t look at each other in fear of bursting out with laughter. You could hear the light clacking of Matt’s cane, in perfect beat, one after the other.
The door opened slowly. You covered your mouth. Matt walked in, swinging his cane to his side of the room. When there was nothing there he paused. You leaned forward, holding your stomach to stop from laughing.
“Am I in the wrong room?” Matt asked after a beat of silence.
Foggy burst out laughing, unable to keep it in any more. You released your breath finally.
“It was Foggy’s idea!” You giggled, unable to keep it to yourself. Matt’s cane dragged along the ground to Foggy’s side of the room. He touched the furniture that was familiar, letting out a soft sigh as though yours and Foggy’s voices weren’t proof enough.
“Where’s my stuff Foggy?” Matt asked, facing forward. Foggy had not been able to catch his breath from his own hilarity. He was steel keeling over, bringing in his breath and then losing it again.
“It’s across the hall,” you said, through another fit of laughter. Matt turned around and opened the other door. You stood up and leaned against the door frame. Matt felt around with his hands. He recognized the curve of his mattress and his textbooks that had been tossed on his desk.
“I swear it was Foggy’s idea,” you repeated.
“I believe it.” He walked back to the dorm. He snaked his arm around your waist and pulled you close to him. Matt had this thing where he always needed to be touching you. It was adorable. At first he told you it was because he was blind and didn’t want to lose you. But you both knew that was a line. He just wanted to have a hand on you.
“Are you drunk?” Matt asked.
“Are you drunk?” he repeated. “Mildly so. But your girlfriend helped me and that should not be forgotten here!” Matt nodded once, like he was contemplating this information.
“Y/N?” Matt spoke, putting his hand further up your side. You looked at his face.
“Yes Matthew?” “Would you like to sit on Foggy’s bed while he puts my things right back where they were?”
“I thought you would never ask my dear!”
You hopped onto Foggy’s bed. Matt grabbed his friend's hand, pulled him up, and then sat down on where he was sitting.
“I hate both of you.”
“Should’ve thought twice before-”
“She helped!”
“I already told you I didn’t want to do it!” Matt poked Foggy with his cane. You laid down and looked at the ceiling. Foggy paused.
“But it was funny wasn’t it,” he said, voice far away.
“It was yeah,” you agreed. Matt shoved you and you shoved him back. Foggy rolled his eyes and started to bring things back around.
Marvel Tag List: @dpaccione, @demonchick1, @karasong, @elisaa-shelby, @lov3vivian, @russian-soft-bitch, @alexxavicry, @valentina-luvs-u, @demigirl-with-problems, @chaotic-fangirl-blog, @caswinchester2000, @mads-weasley, @torresbarnes, @gxrlwithluv, @allthingsavenger-y, @navs-bhat @inas-thing
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serenenation · 2 days ago
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🍁 zoo trip !
pairings - childe, xiao, kazuha x reader (separate.)
synopsis - going out to the zoo with them :D
warnings - none, fluff, sfw!
notes - tagging @xienn, i probably wouldn't have finished it if not for him <//3 i did in fact go to the zoo and think about fun date ideas ejdnk yeah-
also reminder that requests are open!
join the taglist ! | reblogs are highly appreciated 🍁
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when you tell him you want to go to the zoo he immediately agrees, he's not crazy about animals or anything, but he loves the marine section 🤲
neither of you can read the map, y'all are struggling to get to the reptile house because you don't know which path to take-
childe acts like he knows what he's doing, he'll be confident you're going the right way and when you end up at the bird exhibit he says-
"yeah! i meant to take you here, we should look at the birds first you see? they always get crowded later in the day!"
they don't 💀
after visiting most of the animals, you two are running to the seal show to make it in time
childe would not stop talking about it, when you two get there the crowd is filled with young parents and their children who are all under 5-
childe doesn't care lmao, he sits close to you and talks excitedly about the seals they bring up on stage hehe :)
he's pointing quietly and whispering in your ear like some little kid T-T
after the seal show, he asks you if you want to see the whales
"the what?"
"do you want to see the whales?"
"childe... they don't have whales at zoos???"
"why not????????"
buys you all the plushies you want at the gift shop :D
he thinks zoos are kinda stupid, like why do you want to walk around and look at animals all day??? that's so weird?
you don't care tho, you take him with you anyway-
somehow he knows his way around after one look at the map
xiao thinks it's cute how you get all excited over the little animals, when you ask him to take photos of you with them, he 'accidentally' focuses the camera on only you instead
when you ask him about it later he denies it and points to the blurry meerkat in the back
"see, the animal is in the photo with you."
"this is a photo of me xiao."
rolls his eyes and tries not to blush at the consequences of his own actions 💔
for some reason i think xiao would like the snake exhibit, you see him put his face closer to the glass as he inspects the sleepy creatures
you don't tell him, but you got a nice side profile photo of him close to the glass
it's quite crowded at the zoo so xiao takes your hand and grips it tightly, maneuvering you away from people to prevent you from falling over <3
there's an area where you can feed some animals if you buy some kibble! you take xiao there and buy a small bag for you to share, all the animals run away from him and come to you instead T-T
you can't tell if he's mad that they're running away or that they're all flocking to you
don't get me wrong he thinks you look adorable making faces at the creatures but this man is attention starved /hj
"why are you looking at me like that?"
"it's nothing."
he sits back with the bag of dried corn pieces on his lap, giving the animals a glare and they jumped back a little
"xiao are you jealous of them?" you tease
his cheeks go red and he sits up straight, he's not really jealous tho hehe 😋
he's glad you brought up a zoo date, he loves nature and all its creatures so he especially likes rescue zoos :)
he leads you around the place with no issue, he doesn't even need a map he just knows-
he holds your hand a lot of the time whilst walking, he likes it when you're close so he can point out all the things he sees, and to make sure you don't get lost heh
kazuha reads all the little signs about the animals and their names etc T-T, he brings his camera to take photos of them (and you) and he gets lost in it
he's the type to just keep walking without taking any breaks but he often asks you if you need a rest after walking around for so long
you two sit underneath a shady tree and kazu buys you all the snacks you want ☹️💔
"okay i got you this, this, this and this," he says, laying down different snacks on the grass. kazuha sits beside you and pulls out his camera, looking at all the photos he's taken so far
"oh that one's super cute!" you say, pointing out the koala, kazuha hums in agreement and nudges closer, favouriting the photo for later
"what about this one?" he shows a photo of you pointing out the fennec fox excitedly, "i think this is rather cute too."
you feel your face go hot as you turn away, the food in your mouth feels hard to swallow
kazuha chuckles at how flustered you are >:(
at almost every exhibition, he tells you some fact about the animal, you're always interested in what he has to say, even if he's just rambling some poetic nonsense <3
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🍁 © please do not repost, copy, translate or heavily ib this post! thank you for understanding :D
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sacredmads · 2 days ago
𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧? [♡]
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✧ hi my loves! i hope you're all doing well. <3 today i'm going to be talking about if you can ruin your manifestation!
✧ this post is going to talk about whether or not you even can ruin your manifestation, how to fix it when you spiral, and the state of knowing.
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essential question: can you *actually* ruin your manifestation?
no, you cannot actually ruin your manifestation. a lot of people, especially those who have a low concept of self, fall into limiting beliefs that tell them it's possible to ruin your manifestation. some "coaches" teach people that if they think negatively about their desire once, it'll become ruined for them. i've even seen coaches say that if you think too much about your desire, you're not going to get it. this is all bullshit and not true! obviously, thinking poorly about your desire definitely has a chance that seeing it conform in your 3D can take a bit longer, but this doesn't mean you're never going to get it.
you can only actually ruin your manifestation if you believe you can. this is what i need to get in your guys' heads. EVERYTHING in relation to LoA is what you decide. all the way down to what methods work for you. whatever you believe is what's going to show up in your reality. the only person who can get in the way of your manifestations is you!
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okay, cool, but what should i do if i start spiraling or feeling like i've ruined my manifestation?
there's a lot of things! before i list the many ways of stopping your spiral in it's tracks, i want to tell all of you to take a deep breath. i promise you, it's normal to have doubts, especially in the beginning, about yourself and/or your abilities to manifest. it's not the end of the world, unless like i said before, you believe it is.
listed here are my favorite ways to calm myself down:
affirm for your self-concept!
don't treat an intrusive thought or spiral as if it's erased all your progress
focus on things other than your manifestation and invest it in yourself! watch one of your favorite shows, do a face mask, anything to take care of yourself <3
completely ignore the fact that you had a spiral / bad thought, and remind yourself that you're that bitch. NOTHING is going to change the fact that you're getting your desire.
you can do whatever from this list as many times as you want. and, obviously, there's more things outside of just this list that you can do to reassure yourself. at the end of the day though, getting yourself into the state of knowing, and getting yourself confident in your desires, is something that YOU are going to have to do. put in the work, and the effort, to change how you look at yourself and your desires. i promise you, it will pay off, and pay off quickly. however, YOU have to do that for you. i'm not going to, no other blog on here is either. neville goddard himself isn't going to. it's all up to you!
i can swear to all of you that eventually, you won't even have to worry about a spiral or intrusive thought anymore. you will be manifesting shit left and right, and basking in your own success! and the only person you'll have to owe it to is YOURSELF, because you got yourself to that point!
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well, how do i get myself in the state of knowing?
you get yourself into the state of knowing by not even STRESSING about how or when your desire is going to come to you. you simply know that one way or another, your desire is going to get to you, and it will be so much quicker than expected. it may take you a little bit to get into the swing of knowing and not stressing, that's okay! it's not an easy thing to go from worrying about the logic to completely disregarding all of it. but i promise you, it's not impossible either. and once you get there, it all feels so much better. and i know ya'll are sick of me saying it, but it's also a lot easier to get yourself into the state of knowing / the wish fulfilled if you have a good self-concept!
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in conclusion...
stop stressing so much about whether or not you ruined your manifestation! it simply is NOT possible unless you say it is! like i said before, the only person in this world who can get in the way of your success is YOU. take credibility for your failures but also your successes! i hope this helps some of you, and per usual, if you have any further questions or need more advice, my inbox is open! <3
sacred ♡
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alrighty-matty · 14 hours ago
dessert and dances
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Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader
Summary: You had invited Matt as your plus one to a cousin’s wedding as a joke. It was all hilarious until he said yes without hesitation— now you’re attending a wedding party together.
Warning: matt being his cheeky self, matt briefly interacting with a child, two idiots in love.
Note: my cousin was getting married yesterday and i think, hmmm. attending a wedding party with matt.
Matt in suit and tie was not an unfamiliar sight. If anything, you had seen him in a suit and tie more than anything else; at one point you almost believed his wardrobe only consisted of jacket suits, shirts, and ridiculous numbers of ties.
So why the hell you couldn’t stop staring now?
Maybe the humid air was to be blamed. You were convinced the stale air of the packed church and the barely functioning air conditioner on the far corner was the one that made your brain wonky. You stared into Matt’s sheen-laced neck, fighting the urge to press your fingers into his collar just to wipe it away.
Matt’s soft laughter—ringing together like a soft chime of a bell—snapped you back into reality. He was bouncing your niece, Lily, on his legs as she cheerfully sang an ABC song she had been obsessing over lately. You didn’t fight the urge to smile. It was an adorable sight, especially when Matt started to sing the song with her.
Definitely the air. And the annoyingly gorgeous wedding decoration.
You balanced Lily’s duck mini backpack on your lap. Inside was her favorite toy and her favorite book— a Winnie the Pooh storybook that frayed around the edges. A testament of her love, your sister would say.
“Matty, do you know what a group of ducklings is called?” Lily asked, a bright smile on her face.
Matt hummed thoughtfully. “No, what is it?”
“A brood!”
He gasped. “Really?” an equally bright smile on his face, so bright that you started to squint. “I didn’t know!”
Lily giggled, delighted that she had a chance to talk about the animal she loved the most. She pulled the hem of your dress to gain your attention, asking you to scoot closer to whisper hush-hush news.
“He didn’t know!” Lily whispered, loud enough for everyone to hear. “Does he know that a pair of ducks is called a brace? Should I tell him?”
You let out a giggle, hunching your back slightly to look like you were about to conspire. Lily straightened her back, completely forgetting she still sat on the subject of discussion’s lap, a glint of excitement in her eyes. You knew Matt could hear everything. Not that Lily was particularly good at being quiet too.
You glanced at him. And to be fair, Matt tried his best to maintain a neutral face and pretend he didn’t hear anything.
“I think he doesn’t know,” you whispered. “You should tell him!”
Lily immediately launched into an explanation about ducks, her arms moving wildly as she recited all the information she knew, no doubt a product of a conversation with her father. Matt listened intently, appropriately reacting when Lily dropped a particularly interesting fact with such fervor. Apparently, ducks are waterproof.
He only stopped indulging her when the bride had arrived, and the music started playing. Lily immediately ran into her parents’ side as soon as everyone stood up from their seat, wiggling herself in a space between them.
“She likes you,” you said quietly.
The corner of his lips twitched upwards. You could see the way the corner of his eyes crinkled from behind his glasses. He leaned in your direction slightly. “See? I’m a delight at parties. Even kids love me.”
“Ha-ha.” you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You waved and mouthed encouragement to the bride, a dearly beloved cousin who looked positively nervous and excited at the same time before leaning in slightly. “Thanks for coming with me to my cousin’s wedding, by the way.”
“Thanks for inviting me.”
“You only come for the bread pudding.”
“Wrong,” Matt poked your side with the tip of his cane. “Now hush, this is a church. The ceremony is about to begin.”
You rolled your eyes and stood straighter, eyeing the bride smiling brightly at her future husband who was positively weeping now. It made you smile.
Matt definitely came to the wedding for the bread pudding.
You had spotted him lining up to fix himself a plate of bread pudding four times at least. Not counting the one he was currently eating now as he quietly listened to the newlyweds having their first dance.
Inviting Matt as a plus one had been a joke initially. You didn’t know what prompted it; a false bravado inherited from a cosmic entity or just false wisdom from an empty bottle of wine, you couldn’t tell. Something about asking a coworker, an associate, and technically, your boss to a wedding party sounded like a pretty hilarious idea at first.
Until he said yes. Without hesitation.
“A favor after you win the case for us,” he said. Like it was a pretty good explanation. Like it was a solid argument.
You were too stunned to argue. Foggy and Karen had a field day talking about coming together to a wedding party. You overheard Foggy talk about something something not a favor, and Karen cheerily sent you cute dress ideas.
“Staring is rude, you know.”
“I’m not staring,” you said with a stride. You were staring. “I’m judging.”
Matt cocked an eyebrow. “Forgive me, your honor. For whatever crime?”
“Demolishing the party’s bread pudding stock.”
“Oh?” he smirked, his red-tinted glasses twinkled underneath the light. “But is it truly my fault that bread puddings are delicious?”
“Your fault is being a menace who tries to demolish a party’s bread pudding stock.”
“I beg to differ,” Matt took another bite of his bread pudding. “Your grandmother thinks I’m charming.”
“She thinks everyone’s charming, especially the ones her grandkids take with them.”
“Ouch. And here I thought I was special.”
“You will be extremely special once you successfully clear out the bread pudding stock.”
Matt nudged your foot from beneath the table. “I’m not demolishing the bread pudding stock.”
You nudged his foot back with more force than his. “You are.”
“Am not,” Matt nudged back with more fervor.
“Are too.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
The argument continued with a game of footsie underneath the table. Matt had shifted his focus from standing by his argument into winning a game of footsie instead, nudging your foot and cleverly dodging your attacks.
You squinted your eyes when you caught a wide grin plastered on his face. You started to frantically move your foot and shoved his foot, trying your best to force him to yield so you could claim victory. Your dream crumbled with a surprised gasp as Matt pushed your chair with his feet instead— effectively forcing you to surrender.
“That’s cheating!” you said, scandalized.
Matt let out a surprised chuckle. “It’s not cheating.”
“It is!” you insisted. “There’s one rule for footsie. You can’t push your opponent’s chair away.”
“Yeah? Since when?”
“Since I said it.”
Matt fully laughed now. “That’s a terrible argument and you know it,” he said, shaking his head. Matt slid a plate of half-eaten bread pudding in your direction. “Peace offering. I ate all the raisins.”
You stared incredulously. “Are you seriously giving me your half-eaten bread pudding as a peace offering?”
“It’s the best that I can come up with as of now,” Matt argued. “And I ate all the raisins. There’s a lot of raisins in there, it’s hard work.”
“I hate raisins.”
“I know.”
You grabbed the plate quietly, dug the fork into the bread pudding, and ate. You ignored the implication of sharing the same plate—and utensil—with Matt and shooed a bubble of thought about how Matt’s lips were on the fork earlier.
You barely had time to finish the bread pudding when a new song played. You perked up. How Deep Is Your Love. by Bees Gees.
People started cheering and flooded the dance floor. Matt tilted his head towards your direction, eyebrows furrowed. “On second thought,” he said, standing up from his seat. “I’ll make my peace offering on the dance floor. May I have this dance?”
You flickered your eyes between his face and the hand he offered.
“C’mooon,” Matt said. “It’s a good song.”
You accepted his hand, feeling your mouth run dry when he curled his fingers around your hand and gently cradled it. “Have I told you that you’re a menace?”
“Once or twice.”
You snorted, carefully threading through the crowd of people dancing with Matt in tow, guiding him into the less packed side of the dance floor. You caught a teasing smile your cousin shot you from across the room, and immediately looked away.
Matt was a better dancer than expected, unsurprisingly, and you had honored him by stepping on his feet too many times to be adorable. You awkwardly shuffled your bodies with him together, moving around to find the right rhythm, and eventually settled for gentle sways to match the song.
His hands were firm—yet gentle—on your hip, burned like embers into your skin. You rested yours on his shoulders, just enough to keep him close but far enough to set some distance. From this proximity, you could see clearly Matt’s recently shaven face, and a barely healed cut hidden underneath his hairline. He smelled like cinnamon and copper, warm but a bit sharp around the edges.
You tapped his shoulder. “Do you know how many people are checking you out right now?”
Matt hummed. “At least three,” he said, jerking his chin slightly to the left. “And the lady over there had been openly staring.”
You subtly glanced into the direction he pointed out. “That’s Alice,” you shrugged. “She used to make fun of my Barbie backpack until I cried.”
“She did?”
You hummed. “She was a bit mean as a child. But she grew out of it eventually. She’s actually pretty decent and nice growing up.” You quieted for a moment, mindful to sway and not stepping into his feet again. “I always want to dance to this song.”
“It’s a beautiful song to dance to.”
“It is,” you agreed. “Thanks for the dance, Matt.”
“And thank you again for inviting me,” Matt ducked his head a little bit. For a hysterical moment, you thought he was about to lean his forehead into yours. You ignored a pang of disappointment when he didn’t. “I had so much fun.”
“Eating bread puddings?”
He laughed. “Contrary to your belief, I didn’t come for bread pudding.”
“Yeah? For what then?”
Matt pressed his lips together, his shoulders tensed slightly. “Sometimes,” he said, swaying you gently. “I like to have some fun. Preferably with someone as fun as you are, even though you make a really awful dance partner.”
“Screw you!” you laughed, jabbed his side slightly. “Watch me. I’ll get better at dancing. I’ll make a great dance partner.
Matt smiled. Wide and genuine. “You owe me a dance, then.”
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poemsforparker · 2 days ago
My little Versailles | Druig × gn!reader
When I tell you I SOBBED writing this I love this song sm. I'm honestly proud of how it came out.
Song inspo: Fourth Of July
Synopsis: After the events in Tenochitilan (the eternals growing apart), you decide to stand by Druig on his decisions, although it hurt you deep to leave your family, and things didn't work out exactly how you planned.
A/N: I changed the place where Druig went after leaving the eternals so the fic would make sense with the song lyrics! I actually learned something writing this bc I had to do a little research to know the place the song is talking about. I know the whole point of Amazon is that is isolated and all but let's ignore this for a sec.
A/N²: alsoo I just opened my requests! If you have any idea (it can be with other marvel characters) I will be happy to know! :)
Warning: lots and lots of angst :), but also soft at the VERY ending of it (as you may notice from now on, I do, in fact, enjoy a lot writing sad things), this one is smaller than I wished for, but it was very emocional for me to write because this song TEARS ME APART.
Word count: 1237 (5.6k characters)
(not my gif)
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"Did you get enough love, my little dove
Why do you cry?
And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best
Though it never felt right
My little Versailles."
📍Tenochitilan • 1521 d.C.
A heated argument between your colleagues happened before your eyes. You felt like your world was falling apart and you couldn't do anything about it. Why couldn't everyone stick together for god sakes?
'But she won't be Thena anymore' as you saw Makkari sign at the others.
"What if it happens again? She could've killed you. She could've killed all of us" Kingo says, with probably the most serious tone you ever saw him speak before.
"Please..." begged Thena "Please, I want to remember. I want to remember my life" you were standing by Druig's side. When you saw the pain in her eyes you couldn't hold your tears. When you leaned to hold his hand you felt him tense up once he heard Ajak's words.
"It's not important if you remember or not. Your spirit will remain. You'll always be Thena deep inside". He held your hand tightening the grip, as if he was giving you a silent message that he wasn't controling himself anymore. "Trust me" you heard Ajak whisper. With that. You saw your boyfriend's jaw close strongly. He was about to blow.
"Why should she trust you?" you heard the accent you love so much say. There was a hurt tone on his voice that you could tell he was trying to hide. You feel his hand leaving yours as he takes a step to the side, being now right at the top of the Pyramid stairs. "You're asking her to let you erase who she is." He completed with anger, but still holding up.
"Druig, I know you're upset"
"Upset?" Druig yells. His tone surprising everyone. He looks at Ajak. At that moment you could swear that if looks could kill. She wouldn't be standing there. "We've trusted you for seven thousand years and look where you've gotten us." Your eyes were blurred by the tears while he let out everything he held up for so long, you being the only one who knew every single one of these deep thoughts of his. "I've watched humans destroy eachother, when I could stop it all on a heartbeat. Do you know what that does to someone after centuries? Could our mission have been a mistake? Are we really helping this people build a better world, huh?"
Once he says that you take step to his side and putting a hand on his shoulder as you whisper to him "Dru...". His eyes softened as he looked at you and let out a "Sorry, but I have to do this, my love." He grips your hand back, giving it a gentle squeeze. A reminder that any of that anger he was holding had to do with you, whatsoever. Doing it he let go of you, but you didn't leave his side while he turned to the door right beside him and walked towards the stairs.
You hear his voice again. "We're just like the soldiers out there. Pawns to their leaders. Blinded by loyalty." He takes a pause to glance at you. You nod at him, not quite sure about what were you agreeing with, much less knowing what the hell he was going to do, but it's not like that mattered anyways. You'd follow him wherever.
"It ends now" he says while his eyes shine in a scary golden light. And watch as the soldiers leave their weapons and the desperate screams for help finally stop. You couldn't say you felt a certain relief by the sudden silence, allowing yourself to finally take a deep breath by hearing nothing but the sound of the fire.
On the side of your sight you could glance at Ikaris aiming to touch Druig's shoulder to make him stop what he was doing. You were quick on grabbing his forearm and pushing him to the wall by your side as fast as you could. Although you hated turn on your family like this. Druig was your everything. As much as you were everything to him.
Still with teary eyes you stare angrily at Ikaris while he turns his look at Druig's direction and spits out "let them go." before the mind controller could answer to it, you stared at Ikaris deep in the eyes "If you want to stop this. You're gonna have to kill me."
And with that. You both went your unknown way without the Eternals. Togheter.
You knew you were safe with him. And different from the rest of the team, you agreed with his thoughts about humans. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt you leaving your family like this, specially leaving Thena while she was struggling against the Mad Wy'ry and doing nothing about it. Still. You followed him.
"Well you do enough talk
My little halk, why do you cry?
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
We're all gonna die"
📍Oregon Coast Range, 1933
"The Great Fire hadn’t destroyed the trees. It had merely killed them, leaving them standing as massive snags that, each summer, got drier and more flammable."
After the both of you left. You went to the Tillamook forest, a place that for some reason, Druig seemed to be found with. And you we're pretty much okay with it. Since you had him. Where you were living wasn't exactly a matter to you.
After centuries of building a life at this place. A misterious fire grew out of the trees. Taking everything you had in the blink of an eye. Not even you could stop it. It was too much.
Now, you both saw yourselves on a dead end. Again side by side. Watching as the fire took away long years of history. The scene seemed to be bringing back memories.
You sat besides your partner in complete silence, watching as the the loud fire took the place of the trees, that were long dried and nearly lifeless. Just standing in there. Waiting for the right moment to fall. You put your head on his shoulder, still silent.
You could hear Druig's light sobs while now touching him, and that made your heart break into a million pieces. The world was now like this, just as he was now, hopeless. While nations struggled with the Great Depression and he saw humans as they sunk themselves on a pile of crisis and death. The first world war had just happened. And specially considering the time you both lived, it was all pretty recent to you, too much new weapons, too much cruelty. All too much. You were now forced to see your beloved humans live the consequences of it. Of their own creations and ambition. And there was nothing you could do about it. Not anymore.
The nature was crumbling, falling apart. And now, just like many other spots around the globe it was happening to your home. The place both of you struggled to protect, were promises were made and dreams were built. It was all down on flames. Tillamook was burning.
"We'll start over" you said to him, wanting to sound as hopeful as you could, but not really sure if you made it. "Togheter" you saw him trying to smile to you as he nodded. You heard a quiet, yet so sweet "Yes, my love" come out of his lips. Making you smile. "Togheter".
At least you had each other.
And that would never change.
"Shall we look at the moon, my little loon
Why do you cry?
Make the most of your life, while it is rife
While it is light"
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crpsed · a day ago
꒰ა object of affections
𓍢 ★  ; c!dream, c!sam. gn!reader.
˖◛ warnings ; none, just fluff <3
૮₍˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶₎ა ; for @sushisoot​ & @god1ngs​ <3
˖◛ also not proofread LMAOOO
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he hates how you turn him into mush, but he can never get enough of you.
he hates how you always give him butterflies or how he gets so vulnerable just thinking about you. and to him, it feels so wrong because you’ve been friends since forever and he shouldn’t be thinking of you that way.
dream wants nothing more than to indulge in the taste of your lips, or to feel how soft your hands are against his own: calloused and scarred with the sting of war.
and he hates being fragile. someone could so easily find out that you’re the one with his heart in your palms and they could use it against him. to rip him away from the pedestal that he built all for himself.
and he can’t even stand looking at you, because the heat rising to his skin is just another reminder that he can’t even function around you.
you get in the way of his plans when he’s trying to hold something over tommy’s head. you throw everything down the drain. you cause him to fail. you turn him into nothing but a confused man with a schoolboy crush and he wants nothing more than to get rid of it.
even wilbur points it out to him, bringing it up through a puff of smoke he lets out. dream has a soft spot for you, wilbur can tell. 
wilbur sees how the blond’s eyes always follow you whenever you’re in the area-- how dream’s body tenses and churns when your touch lingers on him, all before melting and he can’t stop thinking about how soft your hands are.
“you should do something about it, dream,” wilbur shrugs, ignoring the feeling of dream’s eyes burning holes into his head under his mask. “just saying, you could end up with ___ before someone else gets to them.”
it’s not until later when you’re excitedly talking to him and he can’t stop staring.
his eyes are looking at you, then your lips. all across your face and drinking up your features. he’s soaking in how pretty you are, how easy it would be to lean in and kiss you until you’re obsessed with him just as he is with you.
secretly, he’d chase after the feelings you’d leave him with because he couldn’t remember the last time he worried about something that wasn’t tommy, the smp, or power.
dream was never very good with his feelings. strong or not. he never found ways to deal with them, other than letting them bubble inside of him until he finally found some way to deal with it.
with you, he didn’t know what to do. taking wilbur’s advice seemed so straight-forward— what if he scared you off? 
but now, straight-forward seemed to be the only option. that, or he could sit quietly and watch as you became someone else’s object of affections and he would feel bitter about it until it miraculously passes.
“___,” he hisses your name through his teeth, and the pool of worry and frustration sloshes around in his stomach when he catches your eyes. “can— well..”
he’s so angry with himself for coming off as shy. he can’t. not when he’s unraveling himself under your gaze and you could so easily get up and tear him apart for everyone to see. he’ll be run into the dirt; everyone will finally realize that their self-proclaimed ‘god’ is just a fragile man who’s so easily controlled by someone so underneath him.
“what’s up, dream?”
the flare in his stomach pushes the bile into his throat. he tries again. 
“. . can i kiss you?” he’s quiet, scared, and you think that he didn’t say anything at first. you blink up at dream to make sure that you heard him correctly. at least, you didn’t think you misheard him— couldn’t have, not when he’s looking down at you, and you can see the look in his eyes: he’s silently begging for your permission. 
his lips are brushing over yours: dangerously close, he needs to make sure that you won’t push him away. dream has always been viewed as a terrible man, one who could only bring blood and destruction and all sorts of misery just from his hands. but he was yours. your dream, who you’ve known forever; you’ve seen him at his best and worst and you’ve been nothing but his foundation.
you nod.
his lips are soft, the very opposite of the scars on his hands. and they feel right against yours. they’re sweet, and you lean into his touch when his hand comes to cup the side of your face. everything else seems to melt away from the both of you, as it always has. you and dream.
he’d give up everything to keep it that way.
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# SAM.
sam’s a very busy man. constantly being thrown around with his job as the prison’s warden and dealing with tommy and quackity, it makes sense that he’s always frustrated.
even more so when he’s in the mindset of the warden.
and if he was being totally honest, he wasn’t in the right mind to think about getting into a relationship with someone else.
he already thinks that he’s hurt enough people. he wasn’t prepared to have any more guilt on his conscience.
 sam has always gone out of his way to make sure that what he’s doing is right. he needs everything to work properly, there simply couldn’t be any room for error.
you, however, turn his brain to mush every damn time. so much that he’s made mistake after mistake in his work whenever you were around.
sam wouldn’t tell anyone else but himself, but he loved how you always made him so giggly as if he was a kid.
every conversation, every time he found himself coming to you because you were his security over anyone else.. it meant something to him.
he was not the type of person to be that fragile.
but for you, he could be. and would. hell, you already had him in a chokehold when you would bring him little gifts during his shifts. anything he liked, really, and it always made him feel better.
“you’re always stuck in this stuffy building, sam,” you whine, holding out a small box of chocolates to him. “i think you’d be better off if you actually went outside or had something brought to you from home.”
“you know i can’t leave, ___. i still appreciate the thought,” he sighs, but you can still hear the smile in his voice when he takes the box from you. “you made this for me?”
“mhm! niki even helped me-- she kinda laughed when i said it was for someone special. i think she knew i was talking about you.”
and his heart damn near falls into his stomach.
he doesn’t even realize it until he catches himself, but whenever you’re hopping from conversation to conversation with him, he can’t stop smiling. the corners of his eyes wrinkled, even under his mask and you can’t see his face entirely. but you hear it in his voice when he asks you questions to keep the conversation going. 
truly, he could listen to you go on and on about anything forever. your voice brings him back from the cloud in his mind, and he can’t recall any worry he has when you’re so happy to just see him.
when it comes to you, sam is not as confident in himself as he normally is.
he’s stuttering, blushing, like he’ll slip up and say the wrong thing and he’ll completely embarrass himself. 
but he sucks it up.
sam’s better than this, and he knows it. you’re happy to be with him in general, and he’s happy because of you. all of you.
“hello, ___.”
his voice sounds foreign to him, unusually so. maybe it’s from the lack of use. the only time he’s really spoken us when you’ve gone to the prison to give him proper food, and occasionally switching with him so he could get a few hours of sleep while you watch over the cells.
sam isn’t exactly as intimidatingly as he normally is: no warden uniform, no mask, nothing. he looks as normal as he did before he self-assigned the role of warden.
he smiles at your thoughtfulness, before brushing his thoughts aside and clearing his throat.
"thank you, for helping me recently. you don’t have to, but you do. you’ve always been particularly sweet to me," he says.
 you smile at him, "no problem, sam. you do have people who care about you, yanno. i’m always worried about you.” 
sam feels his breath leave his body at that, already so caught up with what you’re saying to him that he doesn’t even realize he’s staring. his lips quirk up, one of the first smiles you’ve seen from him without his mask on.
he wants to hear his name fall from your lips over and over. it sounds just like a symphony-- your voice is the music and he’s the awestruck audience. if anything, he was your muse and you gave him all new colors that reminded him that people were still kind.
“right, well,” he starts, brushing his hands against his pants to rid of the sweat already forming. “i would like to pay you back. a token of my appreciation.”
“you don’t need to, sam.”
“i would like to. it would only be fair because you’ve been there for me constantly and i don’t want you to feel bad—”
he’s interrupted when he feels the pressure of your lips on the side of his face. 
sam nearly falls back, putting his other foot behind him to steady himself and he gasps. a part of him wishes that he was still wearing his mask, because he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t blushing. he couldn’t deny it either, not when you stood there grinning at how fucking red he turned.
 "you don’t need to do anything for me, sam. promise. if anything, i’d like to take you outside of that prison so we could go on an actual date.”
sam can’t find the words. not that he could even try, he feels them turn into stutters from the back of his throat. 
but he smiles back, and he nods.
and again, it’s one of the first smiles you see from him ever since he threw himself into the web of the prison.
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mokutone · a day ago
if it's not too late for the ask game, ummm pakkun?
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answers under the cut!
favorite thing about them —he's SO FUNNY. he looks so grumpy about everything, he desperately wants people to feel his soft little paws, and he is such a perfect contrast to Kakashi. i love pakkun so much.
least favorite thing about them —we should have MORE PAKKUN SCREENTIME. THANK YOU. everything else is perfect.
favorite line —this isn't a line but i like when shikamaru scruffed him and started playing with his jowels and pakkun tolerated it for a bit before biting. talk about restraint! that is an incredibly polite dog!
brOTP —Kakashi. obviously. kakashi is his guy his human his boss!!!! other than that, maybe bull? they seem to work together really frequently. i think they're a team
OTP —he is a dog, i cannot imagine shipping a dog.
nOTP —he is a dog. i cannot imagine having any strong feelings over shipping a dog.
random headcanon —pakkun actually doesn't like to be petted all that much? he's extremely tolerant and will allow kakashi to stroke him, and will even enjoy it on occasion, but it's not something he seeks out very much, honestly. If you were to pet him, he would just kind of stare at you blankly, and when you stopped he might even stand up and shuffle away as though to say "ok. we're done now." a dog who was enjoying being petted, would wave a paw or nudge you to try and solicit continued pettings, rather than moving away, or not responding. he does really like when he puts his paw out and people hold it though. weird little guy!
unpopular opinion —this isn't controversial i don't think, it's just not popular, but in modern AUs (which i. admittedly rarely indulge in), I like to think that Bull and Pakkun work with Kakashi as a three-point service dogs + handler team. In real life, individuals having more than one active service dog is very uncommon (aside from periods where a service dog in training and a soon-to-retire service dog are both active), mostly because acquiring, training, and providing for even a singular service dog can be incredibly expensive, and in many cases, it's much easier to have one dog who can do all the necessary tasks, rather than split up tasks and duties between two different dogs, especially since two dogs would be more likely to attract attention and public interference, unfortunately. It's very easy to see Kakashi's canonical disabilities w/in naruto the series and extrapolate them into real life. His chakra exhaustion could be easily interpreted to be chronic fatigue, or even chronic pain, as well as his multiple indications of PTSD within the show, + other indications that could be used to form an idea for how Kakashi's disabilities might manifest inside + outside of the naruto universe. I see pakkun as being his primary medical alert dog, letting him know before a wave of fatigue, migraine, medical flare-up, or possibly even sense + indicate an oncoming panic attack or dissociative episode, that way Kakashi would be prepared to deal with whatever was coming in advance, and be able to better mitigate the symptoms of his disabilities. Additionally, for the PTSD, bc of his much much smaller size, and because small dogs tend to have much lighter sleep cycles I think it would probably be more convenient for him to interrupt Kakashi's nightmares than Bull if needed—and, for similar small size reasons, would probably be much easier for him to preform very quick room-searches while Bull and Kakashi wait, if that was a task which Kakashi needed. (if ur curious, Bull, I think, would mostly be handling mobility tasking, this includes helping Kakashi walk if he's experiencing symptoms of pain or fatigue, fetching items which may be heavy or light, and returning them to Kakashi's hand, and even blocking if Kakashi was in a crowded space where people were getting a little bit too close, and he felt uncomfortable. these are all tasks which would be, if not impossible for a small dog like Pakkun, then very difficult for him)
ah. sorry. this got very long. i think a lot about this kind of thing!
song i associate with them —i want to hold your hand by the beatles! i hate the beatles but. theres nothing that can be done...that's a pakkun song. :/ he just wants people to hold his hand...
favorite picture of them this is so funny to me. shikamaru please be nice to him. hes a special little guy!!!!! and hes so tolerant!!!!
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ufo-ikawa · 5 hours ago
got a thing about you (and it won't go away)
akaashi keiji x reader, 17.3k words (i'm sorry)
WARNINGS: suggestive themes (fwb to lovers), but nothing explicit :]
SUMMARY: At the beginning of each summer, when school finally let up, they would all meet up in a beach house in Hamamatsu for a week. It didn’t matter if you had a bad year. It didn’t matter what side of the country you were on. All that mattered was that the five of them promised to find their way back to each other, even if it was only for a while.
Akaashi looked forward to it every year.
Except this year, he dreaded it. And it was all because of you.
[A/N: this is officially my longest fic here; see i told you guys i could write serious fics too T_T !!!! i don't have a playlist but i listened to a mix of mitski and taylor swift while writing this so take from that what you will. hope you enjoy! <3]
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“Keiji,” you murmured sleepily against his bare shoulder, the place where you’d been pressing kisses all morning.
“Y/N,” Akaashi tried to say in warning, but all that came out was a sigh, feeling the growth of your smile on his skin.
Akaashi tried to arch away, but he couldn’t move when he felt you pressing more kisses. “Y/N,” he breathed out, trying again, “we have to get ready soon or we’re going to be caught up in traffic.”
And there were other things he needed to do. Like discuss what they’re doing right now and what they will not be doing once they get to the beach house. He closed his eyes to gather all his strength, before cupping your cheek and gently pushing away. “Okay, come on,” he stressed, “we have to be responsible now.”
You only kissed his thumb in response, but allowed him to push you away slightly. “You always want to be responsible.”
Akaashi finally rose from the bed, ignoring you to put on a shirt. He felt like that was the proper thing to do before having the conversation he wants to have. He shouldn’t be naked, you know? When he turned around, he saw you cuddling his pillow.
“I have to be.” is how he started it. “And speaking of responsible, we should talk about this.”
You raised a brow, “This?”
Akaashi pointed lamely to the space between them, “You know. Us.”
You bit your lip, holding back a smile, “What about us?”
He pursed his mouth, and annoyingly enough, you copied him too, puckering your mouth like you were asking for a kiss. He glared at you, “Be serious.”
“I am serious,” you rolled your eyes, “you’re the one who can’t even say it.”
Akaashi’s known you far too long to miss the challenge in your tone. “I’m trying to be delicate. But I should have known that it’s better to be direct when it comes to you—”
“It’s only been eight years, Keiji,” you added with a smirk.
“What I’m trying to say is,” Akaashi cleared his throat, “is that considering how annoying our friends are, I think we should stop doing this. They’re going to catch on and then god knows what I’ll have to do when they start teasing us.”
You laughed, “We can be subtle.” your laugh settled into a smile. “We can keep a secret.”
“You are the opposite of subtle.” Akaashi replied, thinking about all the times they sneaked out to go for midnight walks back in high school and how terrible of a liar you were whenever your parents would catch you sneaking back in. He tried to be stern, “We need to stop.”
You groaned, turning your face to bury it into a pillow.
Akaashi focused on being understanding, instead of the other things his brain was filing for further investigation.
(Like the way his bed smelled completely of you. How right that felt. How good you looked in his bed. How much you both avoided this conversation of stopping. Why he didn’t really want to stop—)
His brain settled on what was safe, simple and true: hooking up with each other felt too good. Who would want to stop?
If not for the impending beach house trip, Akaashi wouldn’t think to put a stop to it either; so he let you have your moment, before going to you and sitting beside you on the bed.
“You’re silly,” he said, letting himself give in to impulse and pull you closer. “You like my body that much? I’m this good in bed?”
From this close, he can see you roll your eyes. “You wish. As if you could keep your hands to yourself. Why stop when we both know we can’t? Why set ourselves up?”
“It shouldn’t be that hard.” he retorted in response.
And it shouldn’t be. You’ve known each other for eight years, and have gone for almost the same amount with all of… this. Besides, you’re not even dating.
It just happened. At least, when Akaashi tried to think about how he ended up here, that was all he could find. It just happened. There was alcohol involved. Maybe mercury was in retrograde. Post-midterms stress was probably a factor. All in all, the circumstances were vague.
But a couple things were clear:
You, for one. He knew who he was falling into bed with. He wouldn’t be able to miss the familiar colour of your eyes. The feel of your hand, even in the dark.
The lack of regret was another. There was panic, of course, but no part of him had recoiled away in disgust or horror when he woke up wrapped around you tight. Instead, it felt right.
So much so that when you opened your eyes, all Akaashi did was fall back into you, against your mouth.
Both of you wanted it, that became clear when you kept falling into bed together with no discussion whatsoever of when to stop.
Until today— and Akaashi admits it was hardly a proper conversation at all. He meant to continue it in the car, he swears, but it was a long drive from Tokyo to Hamamatsu. And on the off chance that it went south, he didn’t want to be stuck in the car with you for that long. But then you fell asleep, and by the time you had woken up, they had already arrived.
Akaashi had missed his timing, and now, as they rolled in through the paved driveway of the beach house, he could only pray for mercy.
No, not from god. But from the bastards he calls his friends.
They spoke for themselves:
The windows of his car are rolled down, so he can hear them loud and clear.
“There he is!” came the teasing voice of Bokuto, “Akaaashiiiiiiii!”
Beside him, you stuck your head out of the window, “Hey, what about me? Are you guys not excited to see me?”
He saw Kuroo and Kenma immediately school their faces into something bored, “No, not at all.”
You didn’t even wait for Akaashi to put the brakes on. The car was still moving when you took off your seatbelt and stepped out of the car. You marched over with the most debilitating pout, and Kuroo and Kenma only managed to hold out for another second or two, before they both broke out into a grin.
You tackled them into a hug, “I missed you guys!”
You squeezed them hard before letting go and launching yourself at Bokuto. Akaashi didn’t know how it was possible, but Bokuto only seemed to have gotten broader over the past few months they didn’t see each other. He smiled when he saw how small you looked in his arms.
You were always going to be smaller. A constant that Akaashi loved.
He finally got out of the car too and called out, “Y/N, don’t forget to grab your bag!”
But all he got was a wave of your hand, “I’ll grab it later.”
Akaashi grabbed it now, because he already knew how the future was going to unfold. You were going to lie down on the couch, forget, and then somehow needle him into getting it for you. He shuts the trunk of his car and locks it.
As he pocketed his keys though, he immediately made eye contact with Kuroo’s shit-eating grin and already, already, he knew what was coming. “Shut up,” he said preemptively. Even swings his bag to hit Kuroo for good measure.
Kuroo just laughed, grabbing one bag from him, “You know, this is exactly why you get made fun of.”
“Shut up,” Akaashi said again and escaped him by entering the house. He took his shoes off, replacing it with one of the pairs of house slippers by the door.
A cool breeze greeted him at the door. He breathed in and some of the tension, left over from the school year, started leaking out of him.
This house and its familiar bones. Its walls and their constant shades of beige and blue. The summer house welcomed him, and something in him settled.
He was at the beach house with his old friends. All else aside, he felt at peace.
The peace obviously didn’t last long. It was expected, considering how well Akaashi knew his friends and their meddling ways (yes, like some Scooby doo villains).
The moment you stepped out of their sights to use the bathroom, Akaashi immediately got pulled into an impromptu meeting in the kitchen.
“Akaashi Keiji,” Kuroo began, voice low and eyes monitoring the bathroom door, “I see there has been no progress on the sad state of your love life. I knew this would happen. We can’t keep letting this go on. It’s pathetic.”
“Hey,” Akaashi said, insulted, “Who says my love life is sad?”
Bokuto carefully reached out to pat his hand, “Oh, Akaashi. If you were dating someone, we’d know. If you were dating our beloved friend, we would definitely know.”
“It’s getting sad, Akaashi,” Kuroo said, putting his hand on top of Bokuto’s that was still on top of Akaashi’s. Kenma, feeling a little left out, also joined in by setting his hand on top of Kuroo’s. “We’re staging an intervention. You need help.”
Akaashi took his hand out of this weird hand sandwich it ended up in, “I don’t need help.”
Kuroo sniffed, “We’re not doing this for you. We’re doing this for ourselves. I’m tired of having to see you guys act all gross and then say you’re just friends. Just kiss already. It’s sick.”
Kenma added on, “Don’t you get tired of being Y/N’s ‘yes’ man without getting benefits?”
He stopped himself from mindlessly blurting out that he was currently receiving some benefits, which wasn’t that difficult considering the annoyance that rose in him at Kuroo’s statement. “Um?” he raised a brow, “What do you mean ‘yes’ man? I am not a yes man. What does that even mean? I say no to her all the time.”
His statement was met with blank stares and raised brows.
“Akaashi, please. We’re all yes men when it comes to her,” Kuroo eventually snorts, looking right through him, “Who do you think can say no to her here?”
Akaashi took a look at his friend’s faces, Kenma’s exasperation, Kuroo’s resignation, and Bokuto’s sheepishness standing out.
“I’m sure there are people in this world who can say no to her,” Kuroo continued, “but not us. And certainly, not you.”
Akaashi’s mouth moved through a handful of words. None of them ever got a voice.
Kuroo smugly leaned back as you came back, oblivious to the smackdown he just delivered.
You patted your drying hands on your shorts and looked straight at Akaashi first, “Keiji, why do you look so stressed?”
Kenma, the only one of them with a mouth that worked as fast his brain, immediately bounded to you with a smirk, “Don’t worry, we just told him he’s cooking dinner tonight.”
You gasped and then started lecturing with a frown, “Stop making him cook every time. We had a long drive from Tokyo. Let him rest.”
Akaashi bit his lip. That was cute. It was really cute of you to say that. But whatever smile that threatened to come up died when Bokuto put his arm around his shoulders. They watched you try to smack Kuroo, but was held back by Kenma’s arm on your waist.
“Aww,” Bokuto whispered to him, “Look at her defending you. That’s good girlfriend material right there. For you. Don’t worry, Akaashi. We are not letting you come out of this vacation single. We’ll be the best wingmen ever. You’ll see.”
Akaashi meant it wholeheartedly when he said, “Bokuto-san. That is the single most terrifying thing you’ve ever told me.”
Akaashi didn’t even have to spend that much time thinking about what exactly Bokuto meant about being wingmen. He doesn’t even make it to dinner before the wingman-ning began.
You had managed to save him from being in charge of dinner, but Akaashi didn’t completely escape it.
Kuroo made a ridiculous show of looking at the fridge and then proceeded to gasp so loud, you jumped in your seat beside Akaashi. “I cannot believe we forgot tomatoes. Somebody needs to go to the store and buy them,” and then pointedly looks at Akaashi.
Akaashi’s brow furrowed as he shrugged, “I mean, sure, I can go get them. There’s still that small shop down the street, right?” He made a move to stand up and grabbed a light jacket, but before he could even leave the vicinity of the living room, Bokuto stopped him, “Woah, woah, woah, you’re going alone?”
God, Akaashi already knew what was coming. At the risk of alerting you, Akaashi played along, “Yeah?”
“Dude, it’s late. It’s dangerous out there,” Bokuto said, putting on his big watery puppy dog eyes and directed it to the person weakest to it; you. “You should go with him.”
This is some weak wingman-ning, Akaashi decides. Hamamatsu is arguably one of the safest cities. Akaashi was more likely to suffer from gifted kid burn out syndrome than getting hurt, walking alone at night.
But you clearly didn’t care that Bokuto just gave the flimsiest rationale on why you should go get tomatoes together. You only threw your head back with a laugh, before standing up with a salute, “Yeah, I’ll make sure our old man gets to and from the grocery all safe.”
As you both walked out, he was absolutely certain he could hear those gremlins giggling, behind their hands. They think they’re so slick. They’re so lucky you were oblivious. Actually, Akaashi’s the one who's lucky, because if you knew, he would never, ever, be able to live it down.
The moment you’re out on the main road, you casually slipped your arm around his and looked up with a cheeky smile. “This is okay, right?” you asked with an exaggerated shiver. The ocean breeze didn’t even reach here. “I’m just doing this because it’s a bit cold.”
“Yeah,” Akaashi said with a sigh, “It’s fine.”
“It’s not like they can see,” you reasoned, “It’s fine as long as they don’t, because we can just carry on, right?”
“Y/N.” He warned.
“It’s still a secret,” you said, pressing your cheek against his shoulder, “I don’t see why we should stop. It’s nobody’s business but ours. I don’t understand why we have to stop because of what other people might say.”
Akaashi couldn’t exactly say anything because, well… you’re not wrong. It’s just every part of him shudders at the thought of everybody knowing. Especially, their friends knowing. He hasn’t settled on the answer to why exactly that is. But he does mention what he knows you guys have been suffering through together over the years, “It’s just a hassle. You know the jokes our friends already make about us. Think of how much worse it will be when they find out what we’ve been doing.”
You don’t say anything, only making a soft vague noise. He couldn’t tell if it was made in agreement or in protest. With the weight of the day pressing down on him, he dropped the convo and opted to change the topic, “Is it just me or did Bokuto get really big?”
And that set you off, “Right! Not only that, but he’s sturdy. A little thick, you know what I’m saying?”
The phrasing made Akaashi laugh, “Never thought I’d hear that coming from your mouth. Remember back in high school?”
The conversation took them down memory lane and carried them all the way to the grocery store, where they didn't even bother getting a shopping cart. Akaashi didn’t expect you guys to be there for that long.
They get to the fresh produce section where the refrigerator blasts cold air on the color vegetables. He scans among the greens to find where the tomatoes were, when he accidentally bumps you beside him. “Sorry,” he said, touching the small of your back absentmindedly.
“It’s fine,” you said, shivering. “Let’s hurry. I’m freezing here.”
“Want my jacket?” Akaashi offered, but he’s already taking it off before you could protest.
“It’ll be big on me,” you muttered, but already halfway through putting it on. “This is why I should start going to the gym. I need to get thicker too.”
It is big on you;. it looks like you’re swimming in it, hands hidden by the sleeves. “I thought you wanted to go to get prettier,” Akaash reached over and fixed the collar of his jacket, pinching your nose in the process before he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “Come on. You can pick which tomato we get to eat tonight.”
“I hate tomatoes!”
“I know.”
When they got back and you settled back on the couch, he was immediately pulled towards the kitchen.
“You need to monitor,” Kenma said as he washed the tomatoes they bought. Bokuto joined in, and Akaashi half-expected Kuroo to join in. He didn’t. His job was clearly to keep you occupied by trashing you at Wii Sports.
“So,” Bokuto started, “Give us an update I see you made a move.”
“What move?” Akaashi sighed. These gremlins have too many romcoms, it’s starting to poison their minds.
Kenma looked at him like he was stupid, “The jacket. That’s a classic boyfriend move.”
“Yeah, weren’t you wearing that jacket when you left?” Bokuto added.
Akaashi frowned, fighting the urge to look at where you were still wrapped up in his jacket, “She was cold. Was I supposed to let her freeze?”
Kenma shook his head, “You’re so hopeless. What’s annoying is you’re doing everything right without even trying. Go sit on the couch. Perform some self-reflection.”
Akaashi pouted, even as Bokuto patted him like a stray dog in the park, and stalked all the way to the living room. He walked past the television, and he ended up getting yelled at by young and Kuroo too for blocking their view. It only worsened his mood.
“Akaashi!” Kuroo complained, falling to the floor in defeat, while you cheered, “Suck it, loser.”
Akaashi settled grumpily on the couch and wished dinner would come soon. You burrowed at his side, “Are you hangry?”
He shrugged.You reached over to fiddle with a piece of hair behind his ear and murmured, “You must be.”
You took on Kuroo’s challenge for a rematch and funnily enough, Akaashi missed your presence immediately.
His frown deepened. Maybe he should self-reflect.
He performed zero self-reflection, but he did eat dinner. As always, food solved everything. Well, not everything, but he figured sleep would take care of the rest.
It’s only when he began brushing his teeth that he felt the weight of the day fully hit him. There was the four hour drive. The excitement from reuniting with his friends. And then the stress of having to deal with his friends’ matchmaking schemes.
All he wants to do now is lie down, twist to the side to hear his back crack, and maybe scroll through his sphoner until he passes out. Just like any other self-respecting young adult under late stage capitalism. No thinking. Just vibes.
It’s his main thought as he brushed his teeth.
He heard a knock on the bathroom door and when he opened it, he saw you standing there in pyjamas, a toothbrush in hand.
“Wait your turn,” he said, the words coming out garbled because of the toothbrush in his mouth.
You only smiled sheepishly, coming into the bathroom and lightly kicking the door closed. Akaashi raises a brow when he hears you lock the door.
In response, you only shrugged, “Can I borrow some toothpaste?”
Akaashi spat in the sink and washed his mouth. He gestured at the sink, “Go ahead then. Did you intentionally forget?”
“I knew at least one of you guys wouldn’t forget. If not you, then Bo would for sure have it. You boy scouts,” you shrug, grabbing the toothpaste and squeezing it out.
Akaashi knew he should leave. That he should stop standing there stupidly, watching you wet your stupid toothbrush. What was he waiting for?
He moves, but all he does is lean against the door, his hands behind him—clutching at the door knob but not turning it. What was he waiting for?
He should say goodbye, but all he said was, “It’s because he had braces too. You would never understand.”
“It’s not my fault I was born with perfect teeth,” you smirked at him through the mirror. Thrill ran through him.
Akaashi ignored it, “Perfect, my ass. I remember when you got all your wisdom teeth taken out. You were crying so much.”
You raised a brow before turning on his electric toothbrush. It buzzes noisily, as if to say, what’s your point? Akaashi shook his head. Unlike Bokuto, he felt like you would never change. There’s a certain softness in your cheeks that’s still there. A certain spark that’s never dimmed despite what life’s thrown your way.
He knew you too well, has known you for so long. A part of him, one that’s fearful and anxious at the future he’s hurtling towards, hopes that whatever happens, this never changes.
He’s too caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice you’ve caught him staring. He’s startled when your mouth curls into something bright. It has him looking away, his hand coming up to rub his neck.
Akaashi heard you hum. It sounded annoyingly pleased.
A hand comes up to cup his cheek, forcing his gaze back.
“Now,” you said, suddenly a breath away, dragging his attention down to your mouth. Voice coming down to a low whisper, you ask, “It’s time to see how serious you really are. You really don’t want to sleep with me tonight?”
Akaashi bit his lip. “We shouldn’t,” he said, in a voice he hoped was firm.
You pouted. A debilitating thing that has his hand curling at your hip to push you away. But he’s not quick enough, because you go to hold his wrist. He tries again, “Y/N, we shouldn’t do—“
His voice cracked when you brushed your nose against his. Embarrassment floods him. He’s seen you through your puberty phase. You shouldn’t have this much of an effect on him.
“Baby, come on,” you whispered, guiding his hand under your shirt. Desire burned through him, especially as he felt the heat of your skin. As warm as he remembered it. As smooth as he remembered it. He’s lost, and you know it.
“Don’t baby me,” he said, cursing up a useless storm. In the end, it didn’t matter. He’s already leaning down to capture your lips with his.
You whimpered against his mouth, which only set him off further. He wrapped an arm around You’s waist, pressing him close as he kissed him hard. All thought left his brain. It was just you, you, you, consuming him.
You ended up pressed against the bathroom counter, hands tangled in his hair. When Akaashi nipped at your bottom lip, you tugged at it. He groaned, pulling away.
“Okay,” You panted, leaning back against the counter, “Baby me instead.”
“I baby you enough,” Akaashi rolled his eyes. “Some might say too much.”
You laughed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, “Forget them. I like it when you take care of me. It’s not overbearing. You don’t do it, because I’m helpless. I don’t see the problem.”
But the more Akaashi thought about it, the more it felt like there was a problem.
“Come here,” You said, dragging him between your legs. Akaashi’s hands came to rest on the bare skin of your thighs, where your sleep shorts have ridden up.
“Y/N,” Akaashi whispered, his hand inching further up. “Are you trying to prove a point?”
You giggled, “Is it working?”
It’s working too well. Akaashi couldn’t find it in himself to mind. Here it was again. The lack of regret. Just desire hitting him over and over again.
Everything about this reminded Akaashi of the first time they ever did this. At this random party, in some stranger’s bathroom. Judgement clouded by alcohol. Lack of judgement intensifying want.
Now, under the soft yellow light of this bathroom, they are in the same position. But this time, he doesn’t have the excuse of alcohol.
He hasn’t had that excuse every time in between since then.
And he hasn’t had the time to think about that. Too distracted by your perfect mouth, perfect hands, perfect body to think about when he started thinking of his best friend like this. It should be wrong. This was you.
You with your moon face and round eyes, wide with innocence.
Something between you has changed, and it’s quite possibly irreversible.
He blinked when he felt a kiss pressed against his forehead. “You look worried. Wanna talk about it—“
A knock interrupted them. You’re already rolling your eyes, “What!”
“What do you mean what?” came an annoyed voice. It was Kuroo. “You’ve been there for ages. Some people want to get ready for bed too.”
“I’m taking a shit!” You yelled back, and Akaashi had to cover his mouth to keep himself from laughing out loud.
He heard a thump against the door. “Fine! You better fucking spray after. I don’t want to brush my teeth in that stench.”
“Yeah, yeah,” You said dismissively.
Akaashi waited until he heard footsteps recede before detangling himself from you. Reality literally knocked on the door and said, is this reason enough?
He wanted to hit his head. He was such a hypocrite. He really should’ve left the moment You stepped into the bathroom.
You pouted hard and tried to reach for him again, “We should go to bed.”
Akaashi was better at avoiding this time. “I agree,” He said, before specifying, “Separately.”
“You’re so lame.”
He woke up the next day, feeling like he didn’t sleep at all. It’s because he didn’t. He slept piss poor the whole night, a punishment he thought he didn’t deserve. Not that he thought refusing to sleep with his best friend should be rewarded, but—you know what he means.
He was so goddamn tired, he couldn’t even speak a single word during breakfast until he finished his first cup of coffee.
And to make matters worse, you looked completely okay. Refreshed even. He came trampling through the backdoor; the sand, the sun, Bokuto and Kenma following behind. The sound of your bright laughter irritated his sleep deprived brain.
“Akaashi, you’re awake!” Bokuto said, bounding up to him.
If it were anyone else, he would have grumpily responded. But it was Bokuto, who even at his most annoying was hard to be mad at. He gave him a small smile, “You guys had fun all by yourselves?”
Kenma, on his way to the bathroom, chimed in, “We tried waking you up, but you were dead to the world.”
Bokuto laughed, “You were lying face up, but your pillow wasn’t under your head. It was over. Y/N thought somebody murdered you in your sleep.”
“I was the only one concerned,” You shook your head, grabbing a pitcher of water from the fridge, “Remember that when you’re choosing which one of us is your favourite.”
Bokuto wasn’t concerned, “Do you remember when we used to pass out at his house after a party and he would somehow wake up out of his blankets, legs in the weirdest positions? I still think we should record him sleeping, just to see something.”
You visibly gulped down his water and wiped his mouth, “He just needs to be held down. He sleeps very peacefully when he’s being held.”
Akaashi wished you were joking, but he literally stopped breathing. There’s this brief moment of silence where he’s pretty sure Bokuto was wondering if he heard that right. He’s never been so grateful that two of his friends weren’t in the room. They would never let him live it down.
“Hey,” Bokuto coughed, but his smile was so cheeky Akaashi knew whatever was coming next could not be good, “How do you know this? Have you tried it? Is this first hand experience?”
Akaashi does him better and pretends he has phlegm stuck in his throat. Anything to avoid being part of this conversation. He hacked it up so good, it didn’t feel like pretend anymore. You worriedly came up to him and smacked his back, “Keiji! Drink some water.”
It’s enough to distract everyone.
And then, Kuroo unintentionally did him a solid by walking out wearing the ugliest outfit known to man. (Okay, it’s not that ugly. He just looked like he’s dressed like a middle schooler. Like, come on. A sweater vest and yellow shorts?) By then, everyone’s too concerned about missing out on delivering sick burns.
Akaashi internally cheered. Sometimes, bad bitches (masculine) won.
For now, at least.
Hours later, life tried him again.
Peace never truly lasted. Ws always eventually turned to Ls. He’s been truly put on this earth to suffer.
And of course, the loss was personally hand-delivered by those most beloved to him.
After a huge lunch, they all had food-induced comas and decided that the best way to recover from this was to spend the rest of their day watching movies. (Actually, Bokuto suggested taking a walk by the beach, but he was immediately vetoed by Kuroo, Kenma, and you—who all claimed they needed to be rolled out of the restaurant and back to the beach house.)
Here was the kicker though: after diagnosing himself with onset food coma, all his defenses were low. He went to the restroom to relieve himself a little, change into sweatpants so he didn’t feel like he couldn’t breathe, and when he came back, he found that all the seats in the living room were taken. Even the floor, where Kuroo was sprawled out like an overheated dog, had no space.
There was really only one spot open, and that was the one right next to you.
With a sinking feeling, Akaashi thought, he’s been bamboozled.
None of the rats he called friends would meet his eyes, but they all looked a shade of smug as he walked on over to his seat of honor for the day. Of course, Akaashi thought. You’d both wound up sitting together on a loveseat.
He willed himself to act natural. He can sit next to his friend, all casual. No big deal. He would not give his friends the reaction they wanted. He cleared his throat, “So what are we watching?”
“I think,” Kenma suggested, “we should watch that new show on Netflix? Alice in Borderland or something.”
Kuroo grunted from the floor, “I don’t want to watch that. Let’s watch Midsommar instead.”
At that, Akaashi protested, “I’ve already seen Midsommar. You’ve seen Midsommar.” Akaashi knew that for a fact, because he was the one who bullied Kuroo into watching it.
“Don’t be selfish,” Kuroo retorted, “Bokuto, Y/N, and Kenma haven’t seen it yet.”
“Ugh,” Kenma groaned, “I’m going to have trouble sleeping tonight if we do. And if that happens, I’ll make it your problem.”
Kuroo rolled to his side, his head propped up by his hand, a stupid grin on his face, “Don’t worry, you can come sleep with me if you get scared tonight, Tae.”
“You—“ Kenma bit out, and then Akaashi got the glorious privilege of watching him turn red. He felt like he should shake Kuroo’s hand or something. Rarely does anyone get to do that to Kenma, and for Kuroo of all people—well. Akaashi was simply impressed. Just for that, Akaashi was willing to rewatch Midsommar.
Bokuto, as always, came between the two as peacemaker, “Why don’t we just vote?”
“Okay,” Kuroo raised his other hand, “Who wants to watch Midsommar?”
Akaashi raised his hand, and you casually did too, “I don’t care either way.”
Kenma snarled, “Then fucking put your hand down.” Bokuto held his hand, laughing, “It’s okay, Kenma, I’ll cover your eyes for you during the scary scenes.”
Kenma softened, “Fine.”
Kuroo cheered, pulling himself up to fit himself onto the couch beside Kenma who looked at him with wariness. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s a good movie.”
“You just like it when I’m scared,” Kenma grumbled, and then Bokuto cut in again, “Do I have to sit in between you guys?”
You snorted, “Just get it set up, guys,” and even though Kuroo started navigating to the movie on screen, the three of them continued arguing.
Akaashi heard you sigh and lean your head against the couch cushions. If they were back in his dorm, you would have leaned against Akaashi’s shoulder instead. Akaashi was glad that you finally stopped making this hard for them. He glanced towards the tangled mess that was Kenma, Bokuto, and Kuroo and frowned. How come they got to cuddle in peace? Meanwhile, if Akaashi put an arm around you, he would never hear the end of it. What kind of double standard is this? This is so…sexist? Akaashi-phobic? Whatever it is, it sucked. Cuddling can be platonic.
Some sick voice in Akaashi’s head snidely added: kissing and sleeping with someone can be platonic too. But is platonic what you feel when you do all that with your best friend?
Akaashi shook his head and got comfortable instead. He put his head on your shoulder and thought nothing of it. It’s summer; there was no room for complicated things.
“Don’t fall asleep on me,” You said, resting his head gently on Akaashi’s head.
“I won’t,” Akaashi said, though the mention of sleep made him yawn.
You hummed, “You looked pretty tired though, this morning.”
“I was,” Akaashi said and left it at that.
You didn’t say anything for a while, and Akaashi thought that was the end of it too, right as the movie opening sequence launched, You said, “I couldn’t sleep either.”
“Is that why you were so loud this morning?” Akaashi chuckled lowly.
“That was the coffee I drank this morning. I couldn’t even sleep in,” He couldn’t see it, but he could definitely hear the pout in your voice. A tiny part of him rejoiced at hearing it, the one who never got tired of teasing you. And another part of him relaxed at the thought that it wasn’t only him that couldn’t sleep well.
Good thing the movie finally started. “Be quiet,” He finally said, “You have to pay attention, so you don’t end up confused later on.”
“Mean,” You muttered, but did as he said.
There’s something fun about rewatching movies, especially with people who have never seen it before. You catch a lot of things you didn’t notice before, foreshadowing, easter eggs, plot twists. You understand things a lot better the second go around, especially for these psychological horror type movies. Even better, the scares aren’t as scary as they were the first watch.
Of course, for the first time watchers…
It’s quite fun watching their reactions. He could tell Kuroo felt the exact same way by the way he kept glancing over at Kenma’s and Bokuto’s reactions (more Kenma’s really, he’d been watching some scenes with his hands covering his eyes). Meanwhile, you just looked intrigued. Grossed out at worst.
Akaashi rubbed his face against your shoulder. “Hey,” he whispered, “What are you thinking?”
“They’re so nice to her, comforting her, telling her things she wants to hear,” You said, “Everything her boyfriend is not. She’s going to end up killing him at the end, doesn’t he?”
“Hmm,” Akaashi teased, “I don’t know, you'll just have to wait and see.”
You huffed, “That means I’m right.”
“You’re so impatient,” Akaashi laughed softly.
You sighed, like you were putting down a heavy weight. After a moment, he felt your hand on top of his. Fingers absently playing with his. “I’m more patient than you’ll ever know,” You said quietly, the words almost drowned by the movie.
He didn’t know what to say. Maybe he shouldn’t say anything. Maybe he wasn’t even meant to hear.
The movie neared its end.
On screen, there’s a pire burning. There’s a girl dressed up in flowers, a breathless content smile on her face. “Good for her,” You said, happy to get it right. “What a happy ending,” he laughed.
Akaashi has seen this all before. Had the same conclusion you uttered. And yet, this time around…he’s filled with this weird sense of dread. Something’s not right.
Everything is cathartic-induced bright. The credits played.
Everybody stretched their arms up to the sky, legs outward. Akaashi stretched too, neck to the right, to the left. Eyes out to the beautiful summer sky. It’s bright. It’s so bright.
He glanced back at you and swallowed the awful feeling.
Just a remnant of the movie.
He’s cornered again. This time, by Kuroo as the two of them washed dishes together.
“So,” Kuroo started, and Akaashi didn’t even hesitate to flick soap suds at him. Kuroo swipes his wet hand against Akaashi’s hair and he shivered in disgust. He immediately covered his head and glared, “How could you—“
“You literally started it!” Kuroo retorted. “Anyway, I saw you and a little someone cuddling on the couch earlier.”
“Oh, shut up,” Akaashi said, rolling his eyes. Bold of Kuroo to say, considering how handsy he was with both Kenma and Bokuto. Akaashi didn’t even bother calling him out. Kuroo was a different breed of shameless. “Don’t make it weird.”
Kuroo raised a brow, “I don’t need to make it weird. You guys make it weird. Like the vibes… you guys are giving off.”
Akaashi frowned, “You’re not making any sense.”
“I’m not explaining it right,” Kuroo said, drying a plate, “I mean, the vibes, right? You guys have always been closer than any of us—no, don’t give me that look. You guys have. I always chalked it up to the repressed feelings you guys have for each other. But this time, it’s different. I just can’t tell if it’s good or bad.”
Akaashi froze. It’s that noticeable? What did weirder than usual mean? Fuck, could he tell they were hooking up?
He forced himself to act cool, shrugging his shoulders, “I literally do not know what you’re talking about, dude.”
“Don’t worry,” Kuroo smirked, “I’ll point it out the next time I see it. I promise I’ll be subtle.”
Spoilers: he was not fucking subtle.
Akaashi swore there was absolutely no weird vibes when the group of them were enjoying dessert in the middle of the night. Some ice cream cake they bought to celebrate their reunion. They were laughing about something stupid. Half of them were lounging on their side on the floor, the other half was leaning against the couch. You were the only one left with the fork, taking turns to feed Bokuto, Kuroo, and yourself.
The ice cream-cake enthusiast triangulation.
You usually ate in such small bites. Maybe it was because you were feeding two big-mouthed eaters, but you actually ended up eating such large bites of the cake. Cream on the edges of your mouth while you continued talking and laughing without wiping it away.
Listen, it didn’t mean anything. You looked messy. Akaashi hated messy. Friends helped out friends. Akaashi was also a friend.
He didn’t think much of it, when he reached over and swiped the cream with his thumb. Thought nothing of how it might look when his other hand steadied your chin. “You look like a fool,” He had even laughed as he leaned back, absentmindedly sucking the cream off his thumb.
You look wide-eyed and red-cheeked in his hands.
It wasn’t until Kuroo had taken Bokuto’s chin and loudly exclaimed, “Oh, Bokuto, let me gently wipe your mouth too,” that Akaashi felt extremely self-conscious of his actions. The situation only got worse when Bokuto puckered his lips, which had Kuroo literally laughing on the floor. Kenma, thankfully, only rolled his eyes.
Akaashi couldn’t even look at you after that. He didn’t think it was weird. But now, because of everyone’s eyes, it felt weird.
You ended up standing up and putting the cake away, sounding annoyed, “I think you’ve had enough cake. Go to bed.”
Kuroo made eye contact with him and smirked, as if to say, now, do you see what I mean?
Akaashi wanted to be alone after that. He felt somewhat transparent and unreadable at the exact time. Like everybody was seeing something that he himself couldn’t see inside of him.
Well. That wasn’t completely true. He knew there was something different…he just didn’t want any of their friends to know. He wanted to figure it out himself, before they started doing what they did earlier. It made him feel weird and ashamed. Like what was going on between you two had morphed into something wrong.
Which didn’t even make sense, considering all the stupid pushing his friends were doing to ‘set them up.’
The best thing to clearly do next is to sleep it off. But as he laid in bed, he found that he couldn't sleep again. He uncomfortable in this bed, and it didn’t matter how much he twisted and turned, he couldn’t make himself feel right. But he couldn’t stay awake either, not with his head all jumbled up.
He was tempted to suffocate himself when his phone buzzed beside him. He frowned, he was so messed up over this that he didn’t even put his phone on silent.
He sighed and reached over. A text message from you.
Sleep with me tonight, the text said.
Akaashi places his phone face down on his own bed and holds back a scream. This was the last thing he needed tonight. Sense told him that he should stick to his rule. Sneaking into your bed wasn’t a good idea. Maybe if you were sharing a room, he could manage it, but they all got their own rooms. It would be hard to sneak back to his own bed without getting caught. It would be tougher to have to explain if he got caught.
His phone buzzed again and when he looked at the notification, he immediately groaned, rolling in bed so that he could bury his face in his pillow. After taking a moment to compose himself, he opened his phone to the message.
It’s a dark picture of you, blanket pulled up to your chin, pouting at the camera. It came with a simple message— I'm cold.
And then another message, I sleep better with you.
His chest ached. He bit his lip, running a hand through his hair. He shouldn’t do this. But Akaashi was struggling too. Sleep-deprived and confused, all he wanted was to rest. And the last time he slept well was when he was with you.
Akaashi sighed, slowly getting up. He never did figure out how to properly say no to you.
He carefully opened his door and crept out quietly when he saw the hallways were clear. Your room was thankfully close; he reached it with only a couple steps.
He turned the knob and saw you mid-rise. He expected some teasing and a smug smile, but there was only relief on your face.
As he climbed onto your bed, you welcomed him with open arms.
“Thank you,” you whispered against him, pulling him down. Akaashi’s face almost crashed against the headboard. “Easy, easy—”
You both adjusted to each—smooth and natural to them now—until you were comfortable. “Thought you weren’t going to come,” you said, tightening your hold around his waist. “I was going to come to you instead.”
“How are you cold?” Akaashi asked instead. His hand ran through the strands of your hair, “It’s the height of summer.”
“Always am,” You said. “Too used to sleeping with you. You’re always warm and I’m always cold…” you trailed off and into a mumble, “Even back when I slept over at your dorm.”
Akaashi hummed, “Didn’t matter if we had a pillow between us. You’d always find your way over.”
You huffed a little laugh, “You just gotta get used to it at this point. It’s the way we work.”
Akaashi snorted, “The way we work…”
You hummed sleepily, “So perfect…”
His hand paused mid-stroke in your hair. Perfect. It’s not the first time that word’s been said between you, but never like this. Usually it’s panted, thrown heatedly against skin, mid-fuck. Never quite as innocent as this. Resonating bone deep.
He didn’t know what to do with this. This feeling that sits in him, beautiful and aching, until seen by somebody else. He could hold onto this as long as nobody else knows. It’s theirs. Inexplicable, uncomplicated; it’s his.
With that he forced himself to relax. He closed his eyes.
He heard the sound of the waves, crashing against the shore. He could smell the salt in the air. Your breaths evening out, the scent of your shampoo against his nose.
He exhaled, finally letting himself relax against the soft comfort of the pillow under him. It’s the kind of sigh that felt less like giving up but giving in.
To this. To them. To whatever you can both call this.
Akaashi woke up late.
Dangerously late.
The sun woke him up, filtering through the thin curtains of the window. It was the kind of sleep most people yearn for. The type where you feel absolutely well-rested, where you wake up naturally. No alarms. No nothing. It’s beautiful, Disney princess-like.
It’s sleep he wanted to stay cocooned in forever.
And that’s when he remembered where he was. Whose body he was wrapped around. Whose scent, whose warmth had lulled him to sleep.
He pulled away—abruptly enough that it woke you up too.
“Keiji…” You mumbled, one foot still in a dream. You reached over, hand searching for the heat of his body. “What’s wrong—“
Akaashi shushed him softly. Better to let you sleep. He leaned down, brushing the hair from your forehead, “There’s nothing wrong. I’ll see you at breakfast.”
You made a noise of protest, hands tightening around Akaashi’s shirt, “Stay with me.”
Akaashi kissed your temple in apology, “I can’t. We’re going to get caught if I stay.”
He pulled your hand from his shirt and set it on the bed. This time, when he stood up, you let him go.
When he reaches the door, he’s as careful as he was the night before. Except this time, he looked back. And he lingered at the sight of you curling into the space he left.
God. God.
He softly closed the door, unable to bear the sight.
He turned and nearly died from shock. “God,” He said, clutching his chest, “What are you doing here?”
“Uh,” Bokuto raised a brow, before glancing at the door Akaashi just exited. “What are you doing here?”
His eyes narrowed, and Akaashi immediately knew he was fucked. “It’s not what you think,” He said, putting a hand up.
“Oh my god,” Bokuto said, eyes widening, “Are you guys—“
“No, no,” Akaashi yell-whispered, going up to Bokuto and covering his mouth. “We can’t talk about it here.”
Akaashi looked around and was relieved to find nobody else. He dragged Bokuto towards his room, before anybody else could see.
Bokuto crossed his arms over his chest and pouted, “Okay, explain. Are you guys dating? Is this why Kuroo was saying you guys have been acting weird—“
“First of all, Kuroo does not know what he’s talking about. Let’s get one thing straight,” Akaashi clarified. His heart was pumping hard in his chest. Heat was creeping up his neck. “We’re not dating,” He said.
Bokuto’s brows furrowed, “So you guys are just…sleeping together?” Bokuto scratched his chin, shrugging, “I guess it could happen. I’ve slept in the same bed as Kenma several times, and it wasn’t weird.”
“Yeah, yeah!” Akaashi enthusiastically agreed, giving him a bright smile, “You got it—“
“It’s not like you guys are doing anything further than that,” Bokuto added, nodding. “It would only be weird if you guys were actually sleeping together,” Bokuto said, his hands gesturing quotation marks.
Akaashi’s smile froze, “Totally not.”
Bokuto paused, “Akaashi…you didn’t….”
See, Akaashi thought with pain, this was the worst part about hanging out with your old friends. They can read you, just with one look. There was never a possibility he was going to get through this vacation without getting caught. He was fucked from the moment he parked in the driveway.
“God,” Bokuto said with disgust, which has Akaashi steeling himself for the worst. He hated disappointing people in general, but disappointing someone as good as Bokuto? It made everything feel much worse. But then he said something unexpected, “I can’t believe you guys are having sex under our shared roof—“
And of all the things Akaashi could say, his stupid brain said this, “We’re all in different rooms.”
Bokuto looked at him with horror, “Dude. Not the point.”
Akaashi corrected himself, “I’m sorry, I mean, we weren’t doing that. At least…” Akaashi scratched his head, “Not here.”
“Akaashi,” Bokuto sighed, his hands going up to his temples. God, he was causing Bokuto stress. “Can we talk about this? This feels like something we should talk about. Unless you’re talking to somebody about this already? Your therapist?”
“Dude, I’m not sharing this with my therapist,” Akaashi said firmly.
“Why not?” Bokuto put his hands on his hips. It reminds Akaashi of Bokuto’s mother. “You already talk to them about the trauma of growing up with divorced parents.”
Akaashi raised his hand, “I don’t talk to them about that.”
“Then what do you talk to them about?” Bokuto said, confused. “I didn’t know you had other traumas.”
“I can’t talk to them about that,” Akaashi said, “She can only handle my perfectionism issues. Anyway, the point is I don’t want to talk about it.”
Bokuto frowned, “Listen, I know you still think I’m immature and maybe that’s why you don’t want to talk about your sex life—“ Akaashi opened his mouth to argue, but Bokuto raised his hand to stop him, “I’m not naive, okay? I know people do that kind of thing without strings attached all the time, but it’s you two.” Bokuto said it straight, “There’s too many years between the two of you. It’s too much just for casual sex.”
Akaashi sighed, his gaze falling to the ground. His hands clenched at his side, “I know exactly what’s at stake.”
“Then why this?” Bokuto asked.
“Because,” Akaashi said simply. There’s so many ways he could follow it up, all of it damning. Because I’m selfish. Because I like it. Because you want it too. “Listen, we’re handling it. It’s between us, and I’d really appreciate it, if you don’t tell the others.”
Bokuto looked like he had more things to say.
Akaashi shook his head, “Please. It’ll be okay.”
It has to be.
Bokuto thankfully kept quiet. Though their conversation that morning had him feeling on edge the whole day.
He’s been too relaxed this whole time, clearly. First, Kuroo had mentioned something. And now, Bokuto knew there was something going on between them. It was only a matter of time before Kenma descended on them, and he didn’t know if he had the strength for it.
The best thing to do, he was certain, was to lay low.
And that meant, staying away from you.
It would be easier if they stayed home that day, but it was too nice to stay holed up in their rooms, their group decided. They wanted to explore town today, despite the fact that they’ve been going here for years now.
There were only five of them. Akaashi knew it was going to be difficult to avoid you, but for the sake of your relationship, he had to try.
It wasn’t too bad in the beginning. Whenever they walked together, Kuroo, for all the length of his legs, walked the slowest, and you always ended up walking with him. So he doesn’t get lonely, Akaashi remembered you saying once. Though if you asked Akaashi, he thought it was because you couldn’t keep up with Kenma’s brisk pace. No matter what the real reason was, Akaashi was grateful.
But then, they’d stop by at places to shop around, and that proved to be a problem. You would quietly follow him around the store, saying things like, that looks good on you, when Akaashi was inspecting a shirt. Things like, do you want me to buy it for you, when Akaashi said it was too expensive. No, no, it’s okay, Akaashi said to no avail, watching as you swiped it off his hands to pay for it at the register.
He knew how it looked. Only couples did that. He avoided Bokuto’s gaze, though he couldn’t avoid Kenma and Kuroo’s whispering from pricking his ears.
He felt monitored, and he hated it. It made him absolutely irritable, sensitive to touch. The glare of the sun on his back made him worse. And unfortunately, you got the brunt of it.
It wasn’t your fault, Akaashi knew. Kuroo was right, you guys were always touchy. You had this habit of clinging onto his arm, an old habit you never outgrew. Akaashi didn’t mind it; in fact, most of the time, he liked it. Liked feeling needed. But today, all it did was make him more paranoid—that his friends would see it and come tease him about it. Every time you touched him, spoke to him, looked at him, his entire body tensed, preparing himself to be called out for it.
The first time he stiffened you gave him a confused glance. The next couple times raised concern. It got to the point where you pulled him aside, a pocket of a moment while their friends were in the restroom, and asked, Keiji, what is up with you?
But Akaashi couldn’t give you a straight answer. You pushed, Akaashi pulled. He insisted it was nothing. And eventually, you left him alone.
You didn’t try to touch him at all after that.
His mood only worsened after dinner. The day’s events had built up on him, and the only thing that he wanted to do was sleep.
His friends had other plans though, and his stomach churned when he saw Kuroo walk out of the kitchen with several bottles of sake, coke, and iced tea. Dear god, alcohol was the last thing he needed tonight.
“Kuroo,” He said, flatly.
“What,” Kuroo said, putting the drinks on the floor where everyone had begun to gather around. “You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to. But I think it would relax you.”
Kenma grabbed a bottle and started shaking it, “Somebody grab some ice too. The coke isn’t even cold.”
“I got it!” Bokuto said, standing up. He patted Kenma’s head as he went. Meanwhile, Kenma pulled Akaashi down by the hand, “Sit down. Even if you don’t want to drink, you can still help make it.”
“Fine,” Akaashi said with a sigh, “Who’s drinking?”
“Me!” Came Bokuto’s answer from the kitchen. Akaashi didn’t really have to ask Kuroo and Kenma, which really only left…you, who had quietly sat in front of him.
Akaashi busied himself with opening the tiny bottle of yakult, “You drinking, Y/N?”
“Yeah,” You said, a heaviness in your voice. When Akaashi glanced at you, he saw you fiddling with a fraying thread on his shorts, “It’s been a long day.”
The response sent waves of guilt through him.
“Don’t worry, Y/N,” Kuroo said, wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulders, “Nothing a little drink won’t solve.”
You laughed, “It worries me. You're saying that when you're planning to be someone’s boss someday.”
“Oh,” Kenma teased, “He has more pressing things to worry about. Like passing calculus.”
Akaashi tuned them out, focusing on making the drinks. Bokuto came back with the ice, and Akaashi took the ice trays, cracked the ice out of the moulds, and placed them in all the drinks.
Against his judgement, he ended up making himself a drink too. Something he was immediately grateful for whenever he felt your eyes on him. It was good to have something to do, even if it was to sip his drink to avoid your gaze.
The alcohol did its job too. He felt tension leak out of him with each sip. His thoughts became muddled too, which was the blessing he needed. All day, he prayed his brain would shut up. To stop giving a fuck for just a moment, so he could catch his breath.
On his way to tipsy, he finished his drink and decided—another one. He got teased for it too. “Look at him,” Kuroo said, highly amused, “The only person who said they weren’t drinking is the first person to get another drink.”
Akaashi snorted, but said nothing. See, he told himself. If this was an hour ago, you would have been absolutely irritated at that. Aren’t you glad you started drinking?
“Me too,” You said, cutting through his internal monologue. Akaashi turned to you and saw a glass pushed towards him, “Make me another one too.”
“Sure,” Akaashi said, taking the glass. Your fingers briefly touched, and he hurried to pull away. He swallowed, determined not to think anything of it, even though his fingers felt the heat of contact as he mixed drinks.
When he handed you the finished drink, he was careful to avoid your touch. He wasn’t as careful avoiding your gaze though, which was a mistake. Your eyes were narrowed, and Akaashi felt arrested by your gaze.
“Thanks,” You said as he finally looked away. He cleared his throat, “Should we play a drinking game? You guys are taking so long to drink.”
“Don’t worry,” Kenma said, “We’re all lightweights here. Except Bokuto. We just need to force Kuroo to take a shot or two and he’ll be there.”
Bokuto shrugged, “A game could be fun. We could watch a movie and take a shot every time somebody did or said something.”
Kenma shook his head, “I don’t want to get alcohol poisoning. And at least one of us will fall asleep halfway.”
“Hmm,” Bokuto thought out loud, “I mean, the only other games I know are Never Have I Ever, Spin the Bottle, and Truth or Dare—“
Akaashi laughed, “What kind of parties have you been going to?”
Bokuto laughed too, but Kenma defended his friend’s choices, “To be fair, those are the easiest ones to play. I’m too lazy to set up beer pong or even King’s Cup.”
“Never Have I Ever…is going to be boring,” Kuroo piped up, “We all know each other. If we did anything, we’d know it by now.”
“That’s not true,” You said, amused, “I could say, never have I ever puked in a public pool, and only you would have to drink.”
Kuroo gave you a sharp look, “That’s a traumatic memory, Y/N. I would appreciate it if you didn’t bring that up.”
You mocked him by copying his words. Kenma cut in before the conversation could devolve into outright smacking each other, “So I guess Truth or Dare, it is—“
“Wow, you’re not even going to entertain Spin the Bottle,” Kuroo said. He puckered up, “You don’t want to kiss me, Kenma?”
Akaashi watched as Kenma didn’t even act like he heard Kuroo, and immediately wished he could be as cool. Kenma smiled, turning to Bokuto who sat between him and Akaashi, “I’ll start. Bokuto, truth or dare.”
Bokuto shrugged, “Dare.”
“Excellent,” Kenma grinned, “Knew you would say that. Go out into the water and stand there for thirty seconds before going out.”
Bokuto gaped at him, “Why, you—“
Meanwhile, everybody laughed. Kenma added, “If it helps, you could go in naked—“
“Thanks for the great idea, Kenma,” Bokuto said, standing up. “I’ll remember it when it’s your turn.” To his credit, Bokuto didn’t even try to get out of it. He just put his hand on his hips and asked, “Is anyone going to time me?”
You raised his hand, “I can do it.”
The two of them went outside, while the rest of them watched from the back porch.
“You’re so evil,” Kuroo said, but he was chuckling as Bokuto bravely walked into the water. They could hear you loudly counting down from thirty. It was a bit evil, but all of them laughed when Bokuto shivered, and even more, when Bokuto immediately raced out of the water when the count ended and hugged you.
Your shriek was loud and you looked disgruntled walking back, meanwhile, Bokuto was laughing so brightly.
They let Bokuto get changed into something warm before restarting the game. “I feel so alive,” Bokuto said, good-natured. He gave Kenma a playful glare, before turning to Akaashi. “Your turn, Akaashi. Truth or dare.”
“Uh,” Akaashi scratched his head, unsure, “I’ll choose dare too.”
Bokuto smiled, “Great, go outside and stand in the water for a minute.”
“Jesus,” Akaashi said, grabbing his drink and chugging it down. When he finished, he shook his head, “I’m good.”
Kuroo coughed, saying something that suspiciously sounded like, coward. Akaashi gave him the sweetest smile, “Well, Kuroo. It’s your turn. Truth or dare.”
“Dare,” Kuroo said, taking up the challenge.
Kenma laughed, “Get into the water—“
“Unoriginal,” Kuroo said, but Akaashi didn’t care. He just wanted to see Kuroo suffer, “No, he’s right. Get into the water and stand in there for a minute and a half.”
Kuroo briefly looked at his drink, before standing up. “No big deal. Kenma, can you time me?”
Akaashi had a feeling all of them were going to end up in the cold water by the end of the night. Kuroo’s turn in the water was even funnier though. For a bastard so afraid of the water, he didn’t even complain that much going in. Though, Akaashi guessed, it wasn’t so much about fear. It was more about pride, which is something he could understand.
Kuroo stubbornly shivered in the water as Kenma counted down and just like Bokuto, he got out fast as soon as the timer was done. However, unlike Bokuto, instead of simply hugging Kenma, he grabbed the phone in Kenma’s hand and tossed it in the sand, before wrapping his arms around Kenma’s waist and carrying him to the water.
Bokuto laughed, “I can’t hear what Kenma is saying. But I can just imagine how creative the threats are.”
“What’s the point of busting his ass at the gym,” you said, “If he can’t even escape Kuroo.”
After Kuroo’s turn, they finally got more creative with dares. You were next, and true to the nature of their friend group, you chose dare too. Kuroo dared him to eat a whole tomato, to which you declined with a quick chug of your drink. Kenma, contrarian as ever, decided to break the cycle of dares and chose truth.
“Who do you think is the ugliest person in the room?” You asked, but Kenma didn’t even let a second pass before saying, “You.”
“You’re so fucking rude for that,” You grumbled, but Kenma laughed as he reached over and hugged you, “I’m just kidding. That’s what you get for asking a bad question.”
They went a couple more rounds daring each other to do more stupid shit, until Akaashi ended up choosing truth.
By this point, all of them were loose-limbed. Kenma and Kuroo were properly drunk, their faces flushed red. You were quietly holding onto your drink, though your eyes were glazed too. Even Akaashi felt the impact of the several drinks he’s had.
Bokuto was the only one that looked okay, though he couldn’t think of a good question to ask, “I don’t know. What’s something juicy?”
“I have a question!” Kenma slurred, pulling himself away from where he’d been laying his head on Bokuto’s shoulder. “Is there someone you want to kiss in the room right now?”
Kuroo tittered, crawling over to where Kenma was to extend a high five. They were too drunk to notice Bokuto’s horrified expression. And this, this was the moment where Akaashi knew he’s had a drink too many. He should have drank instead, but the voice that told him what was proper to say was silent. And so, he answered honestly for once, “Yeah.”
“Oh my god,” Bokuto covered his mouth, while Kenma and Kuroo cheered. The person Akaashi wanted to kiss, however, only snorted. Akaashi frowned, trying to catch your eyes. But the other refused to look at him.
Kuroo giggled, “Okay Y/N, it’s your turn. Truth or dare.”
You stared at the alcohol in his glass, “Dare.”
“Then…” Kuroo said, glancing around the room until his gaze landed on Akaashi. “I dare you to kiss someone in this room.”
Akaashi couldn’t breathe. His fingers tightened around his glass.
“Um,” You sighed, “I don’t want to kiss anyone who doesn’t want to be kissed.”
Kuroo, who clearly thought there was zero possibility he would be kissed, said, “I don’t mind. We’re all friends here, aren’t we?”
And it seemed like everyone had the same idea, for Bokuto and Kenma said they wouldn’t mind either. It forced Akaashi to shrug his shoulders. “I don’t mind either,” He said, not even needing to lie. God, what was he saying?
“Of course,” Bokuto added, sensing the tension in the room, “If you don’t want to kiss anyone here, you don’t have to either.”
You shook your head, “It’s fine. A dare is a dare.”
You placed your drink on the floor and Akaashi watched with bated breath as you crawled over to him. He can’t believe you’re going to do this here, in front of all their friends. He can’t believe he’s allowing this, not after how strict he’s been this whole time. But it’s been a long day of avoiding you, and this drunk, he can’t lie to himself. He wanted it. He wanted it bad.
He could already taste your kiss on his lips. His hands itched with longing for the heat of your body pressed against him.
You came to a stop and kneeled in front of him. Akaashi couldn’t help himself anymore, and he reached for you—
But you turned and said, “Bokuto, I’m going to kiss you.”
Akaashi froze. Everyone in the room did too. Nobody moved as your words registered in their minds. What the fuck?
“Um,” Bokuto blinked, and then he looked at Akaashi in panic or permission. Akaashi didn’t know. He doesn’t think his brain has processed what was happening yet.
But you wouldn’t wait until his brain caught up. You weren’t going to wait for anything it seemed. “Hey,” you said, cradling Bokuto’s cheek in your hand and forcing him to look at you, “It’s rude not to look at the person who's trying to kiss you.”
Bokuto gulped, eyes shaking as You fluttered his lashes at him. Akaashi could only watch as you brushed his nose against Bokuto’s and murmured, “I’m not your first kiss, right?”
“N-no,” Bokuto stuttered. His hand went to your waist, and Akaashi expected him to push you away, but he didn’t. Akaashi couldn’t blame him. You were so gorgeous up close. Who would? Who fucking would? Akaashi wished Bokuto would.
“Perfect,” You smiled, giving him a quick peck. A preamble of sorts, Akaashi knew. It was how you liked to start. He wondered if Bokuto felt a flutter in his stomach. Akaashi always did. If his blood rushed through him in anticipation. Akaashi’s always did.
Bokuto just looked like he couldn’t believe this was happening to him. “Perfect?” He repeated.
You nodded, giving him a sweet smile. You cupped both of Bokuto’s cheeks and said, “Let’s both enjoy it, okay?”
This time, you don’t give Bokuto time to answer, before leaning down to capture his lips.
Belatedly, Akaashi realized he’s never seen you kiss anybody. Aren’t you glad you had front seats to your first time, then? Some sick voice in his head teased.
No, Akaashi thought. He was the farthest thing from glad, and yet, he couldn’t look away. His eyes watched carefully as their mouths moved against each other. As your hand tangled in Bokuto’s hair. As you inched forward, tilting Bokuto’s head so you could kiss him deeper.
Akaashi watched all of this with a tightening feeling in his chest. Why him? Why not me?
He began to feel a little sick, nausea rising in him, when he saw you bite Bokuto’s lip. He could see Bokuto getting lost in it too, slowly forgetting where he was, with the way his hands were moving up your body.
She’s mine, Akaashi thought with wild envy. She’s mine, his entire body seemed to echo. Just the other night, it was his hands on you. This morning, it was him wrapped around you. Akaashi wanted to pull your shirt off and point to a fading mark and say, look, here. I did that. She’s mine.
His hands curled into fists, and when he saw you slip your tongue into Bokuto’s mouth, he lost it.
“Stop it,” He said, voice hard. His words jolted the two of them and finally, Bokuto seemed to remember where he was and pulled away. “That’s enough.”
Bokuto turned to him, looking absolutely sorry, but you were the one who spoke first, “It was a dare. Why are you so angry?”
Akaashi’s eyes couldn’t help but go to your swollen mouth. He gritted his teeth, “You know why.”
“No,” You raised a brow, “I actually don’t know, Akaashi. The dare said to kiss anyone in this room. I did that. Tell me what I did wrong.”
It wasn’t wrong. But it wasn’t right either.
“But did you have to kiss him like that? In front of me?” Akaashi asked, aching.
“Hey,” Kuroo’s concerned voice cut in, reminding Akaashi there were other people in the room. “It was just a dare. I’m sure it didn’t mean anything—“
His brain couldn’t keep up with his heart, and his hurt heart was running his mouth. Akaashi laughed, the sound incredibly bitter, “She’s not the type. She never kisses and doesn’t mean it—“
“Akaashi.” You raised his voice. The anger in it had everybody tensing. It was an emotion that was rarely seen on you.
It was serious enough that Kenma spoke up next. His words were careful, intended to de escalate, “I think the two of you should talk this out…by yourselves.” Kenma frowned, “There’s something here… beyond one stupid kiss. We’re sorry for the dare, we’ve all had something to drink.”
Bokuto reached out and held Akaashi’s hand. Akaashi let him. “Akaashi,” Bokuto squeezed his hand and sincerely said, “It didn’t mean anything.”
Kuroo tugged at Bokuto, “Let’s leave them be.” He pulled Bokuto up by the hand, and then gave Akaashi a pleading look, before taking both Kenma and Bokuto to a room.
And then, there were two.
Akaashi was ready for a fight.
And for a moment, he thought that he was going to get one too. But you sighed, all the fight leaving. “I don’t want to do this right now,” You said, standing up and running a hand through your hair. “Look, you’ve had a bunch to drink and I have too. We can talk about it in the morning.”
“No,” Akaashi stood his ground, “I think we should talk about this right now. I don’t know how you expect me to sleep after you literally made out with Bokuto in front of me.”
You chewed on his lip, “It didn’t mean anything to me. It was a dare.”
Akaashi scoffed, “That’s not an excuse. You could have kissed me.”
“Keiji,” You were in disbelief, “Why would I kiss you?”
Akaashi was even more bewildered, “Because?” He couldn’t believe he had to explain it to You, “Did the past two months mean nothing to you? Am I just some dick when you’re looking for a good fuck?”
“How could you ask that?” You said, pain colouring your anger. You hugged yourself, “How could you ask me that? The fucking audacity you have—“ you cut yourself off, jaw clenching as you chose the next words carefully, “I didn’t kiss you, because you’re the one hell bent on keeping this thing—whatever the fuck this is—a fucking secret. You’re the one who said we should stop this, or did you conveniently forget?”
It’s true. By god, it’s true, but no matter how he turned the words over to fit the wound, it still left him wanting more. “I don’t think that’s completely true,” Akaashi concluded. “If that was the case, then you would have given him a quick kiss on the cheek maybe. I wouldn’t be angry or hurt, if you gave him a quick kiss on the lips. But you made a show about it. You did that with intent, knowing I was watching. Why?”
You didn’t answer.
Akaashi licked his lips, choosing instead to look at the mess they left on the floor. “I know what I’ve said. I just thought we were on the same page. That there was something between us—“
“You’re being unfair,” You said. “You’re speaking like I’ve ruined it all, when at the end of the day, we’re nothing. And do you know why we’re nothing, Akaashi? It’s because every day I have to beg you for your affection. Stop acting like you’re the victim, when we both know I’m the one who wants you more.”
Akaashi immediately denied it, “That’s not—“
“Is it not?” You questioned. “Before we left to come here, you treated this like we’re just friends with benefits, and said we should stop. When we got here, you’ve been extremely sensitive about how I interacted with you. It’s confusing. I think you want me, but I can’t tell if it’s just my body you want or my heart. You let me come on to you sometimes, and other times you push me away. I know I can be so clingy sometimes, but if you properly reject me, I’ll stop. You know that, right?” You smiled at him sadly, “You can say no. It’ll hurt my feelings, but it’s better than feeling like I’m forcing myself on you, which makes my skin crawl—“
“You’re not forcing yourself on me,” Akaashi couldn’t help but cut in. The implication is horrifying. “I wanted it.”
“And is that all you want?” You asked, sounding incredibly tired.
Akaashi stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked away, “It’s not that simple. Look, we’ve got history, right? Eight long years. Why can’t we just enjoy what we had? Why do we need to complicate things?”
You looked like you wanted to tear your hair out, “But I don’t even know what it is we have. Listen, I was fine taking it at your pace, but I don’t appreciate being jerked around. And…I have things I want too.” You sighed, and in a softer, more hesitant voice, he said, “I want to be your girlfriend, but I don’t think you want me to be.”
Something in Akaashi shook. Like a fist, desperately grasping for something solid. All his heart managed to hold onto was the calcified fear in his bones. “It’s not that I don’t want to date you. I just, it’s eight years, you know? You’re too important, and I’m afraid we’d ruin us. When it’s just us, everything feels right, but when other people get involved, everything feels wrong. Like that’s what I’ve been so worried about on this stupid trip. You probably didn’t notice, but our friends have been trying to set us up—“
“I noticed,” You said, to Akaashi’s surprise. “It’s honestly why I haven’t cared that much with them finding out about us. They want us together. I want us together. Everyone except you, it seems like.”
“Why?” You demanded. Your bottom lip trembled. You looked like you were about to cry, “Are you embarrassed by me? Is that why it feels wrong when other people can see?”
“No!” Akaashi hurriedly assured, “No, no, it’s not you. It’s just suffocating, Y/N. All these expectations people have regarding our relationship. They say we should be dating already so easily, and I hate it, because it makes me feel like I’m not in control of my own life. Like I should just date you, because it’s inevitable. It’s expected.”
You turned away, looking briefly up—blinking fast, inhaling deep, steeling yourself —before looking back at Akaashi, “Then fuck them all. Forget about them. Hell, forget about me for a second. What do you want?”
Akaashi wanted entirely too much. Akaashi wanted nothing at all. He wanted this to be easy. He wanted nothing to change. He wanted to want you without feeling like he’s giving in to everybody else. Most of all, he didn’t want to hurt anyone, himself, but most importantly you.
But some things were inevitable, like going through life and getting hurt. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is choose the option that hurt the least. “I think we should just be friends,” he finally said.
Your face twisted, like you had been punched in the gut. You exhaled, shaking your head, “I hope that’s really what you want. But okay—okay.”
“I’ll stop,” You said, though Akaashi heard it for what it is, I’m done with you. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I kissed Bokuto. I only did it, because you ignored me all day. And I wanted you to feel just once what you do to me. It felt good in the moment, but I regret that it hurt you. Okay,” you nodded to yourself, sniffling, “That’s all.”
Akaashi watched you walk away and enter your room. The door softly shut, but Akaashi wished it had slammed shut instead.
Anger was easier to bear. This just sounded like defeat. The sound made him wince, his shoulders rising to his ears, his hands rising to cover his face—like the impact of what he’d done hit him all at once and the entirety of him folded over. He ended up crouched on the ground, his head in between his knees, his heart aching against his ribs.
He’s surrounded by empty bottles, and right by his feet, sat an overturned bottle in a pool of spilled alcohol.
He fit perfectly here, sitting in his own regret.
Akaashi somehow dragged himself to his room. Got ready for bed. Tucked himself right in bed and laid there, like nothing was wrong.
He wasn’t hungry. He wasn’t tired. If he stayed perfectly still, he’d continue to feel nothing. But he’d blink and his chest would ache. He would breathe and his chest would ache. Even the act of soothing it, hand rubbing his chest, worsened the pain.
It wasn’t until the sun came up that he realised that the night had passed. The shadows haunting his room evaporated in the light. It was just him and his own shadow now, lying side by side.
He was always someone that calculated each step. A planner, if you will. He was typically careful and caring, so that he’d land into a future he wouldn’t regret. But he couldn’t even think about the future right now. His brain couldn’t process anything beyond last night.
He lost you. He knew you would be kind, that you’ll say, it’s okay, we can still be friends. But Akaashi knew nothing would be the same. If he was going to tear everything up like this, he should have been responsible from the start. Shouldn’t have started anything he couldn’t finish.
He buried his face against his pillow and exhaled. He was a coward, a fool, and every stupid thing you’d call someone who had everything in the palm of his hand and lost it.
He laid there for god knows how long, lamenting, ruminating, and he thought he would have stayed there all day too, if not for the knock on his door.
Was it—?
He sat up in bed and was about to get out, when the door cracked open. His heart fell when he saw who it was. Bokuto.
His face must have crumpled, for the hopeful look on Bokuto’s face fell into hesitance. “Akaashi,” Bokuto tried, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Akaashi automatically said, though he was certain, he looked the opposite of fine. Bokuto’s brows furrowed, but he said nothing as he lingered at the door. Akaashi sighed, knowing he was thinking of last night too. He found that he didn’t need to lie, “I’m not mad at you.”
“You aren’t?” Bokuto said surprised. “I would be angry. I don’t like her like that, but I shouldn’t have kissed her back.”
“She shouldn’t have kissed you,” Akaashi corrected, but the fight in him was gone. He didn’t even care about the stupid kiss anymore. “It’s complicated. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I wasn’t even thinking straight last night.”
Bokuto stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. “What happened?”
“I told her I think we should just stay as friends,” Akaashi said, almost regretting it as he did. Now that the words were out, told to somebody outside of you and him, it felt final. Irrevocable.
Bokuto frowned, “Why?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Akaashi shrugged, letting his body fall back to bed. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ve said what I said. What’s done is done. It’s for the best.”
Bokuto tilted his head and gave him a look full of pity, “Then why do you look so sad?”
“Because,” Akaashi said.
Bokuto looked at him, waiting for a follow-up that will never come. Akaashi closed his eyes and turned to his side, away from Bokuto’s eyes. “I think you should leave. Go have fun and enjoy the beach. I’ll be fine.”
Akaashi would be fine. He deserved to be alone. Just because he ruined the beach for himself, it didn’t mean it had to be ruined for his friends. He willed Bokuto to go away and waited for his footsteps to retreat and for the door to shut close behind him.
But it never came. Instead, Bokuto’s footsteps came close until he felt a weight on the bed and an arm wrapped around his waist. “No,” Bokuto said, rubbing a comforting hand on his stomach. Akaashi’s eyes watered at the gesture, “I don’t think any of us can enjoy the beach knowing you’re stuck here in bed, secretly crying your eyes out.”
“You’re too nice,” Akaashi said, voice cracking from the tenderness he was receiving.
“I’ll stay with you until you’re ready to go out,” Bokuto promised.
“You don’t have to,” Akaashi said, but it was futile. Bokuto would keep his promise, Akaashi knew. He would never leave a friend in need.
Besides, Akaashi thought as he closed his eyes, he didn’t want to be alone.
At some point, they both ended up on their backs, staring at the ceiling fan spinning above them.
“You don’t have to answer this,” Bokuto said, his hands resting on his chest, “but I don’t really get why you aren’t dating. From what I know, you guys both like each other. After last night, I think you guys both know that the feeling is mutual. You even act like a couple already. Why can’t you guys just make it official?”
“It’s not that simple,” Akaashi found himself answering anyway. “Dating…stresses me out.”
Bokuto makes a dubious noise, “Huh? But you’ve dated other people before. And you seemed fine.”
“Yeah,” Akaashi said, “Because those were pretty casual relationships. Y/N’s different. We have history. There’s expectations there. There’s a lot at stake if we dated. And I just don’t know if I could deal with potentially losing her.” He gave a bitter laugh, “Though I guess this way, I lose her anyway.”
Bokuto immediately disagreed, “You’re not going to lose her.”
“I will,” Akaashi said. “I already have. She’s going to move on and get over me—”
“Akaashi,” Bokuto said stubbornly, “She might move on, but you know she’ll always be your friend.”
“But it’s not the same,” Akaashi said.
“Why not?” Bokuto pressed. “Because she won’t be in love with you anymore?” At Akaashi’s silence, Bokuto sighed, “Akaashi, do you hear yourself?”
“I know,” Akaashi covered his eyes with his arm, “I know how stupid it sounds. Shut me up already. I hate hearing myself talk.”
Bokuto shook his head, “No, this is good. I think you should talk more. I think we should talk about what you mean by history and expectations. Like, what the hell are expectations anyway?”
“It’s like,” Akaashi struggled to expound, his hand gesturing vaguely in the air, “How you guys have been pushing us to date for the longest time. How my mom thinks I’m going to end up marrying Y/N. Like everyone is just waiting for it, and I’m supposed to just play a part. I feel pressured.”
Bokuto frowned, “So you won’t date her, because you’re rebelling against societal expectations?”
“Well, when you put it like that…”
“I think,” Bokuto started, “You’re thinking about it the wrong way. I guess, if you feel pressured, you should just go at your own pace. We want you to be happy, and if you want us to back off, we’ll back off—“
“I guess now there’s nothing to push for—“
Bokuto ignored him, “But, listen. You’re clearly cut up about this. Maybe I’m the wrong person to say this, because of all the matchmaking things we’ve been doing, but at the end of the day, mine and Kenma’s and Kuroo’s and everybody else’s opinion is irrelevant. You should follow your heart and date him. If you don’t want anyone to know the details of your relationship, that’s fine too. It’s called being private.”
“I don’t think she wants that. She didn’t like it when I pushed her away,” Akaashi mumbled, “Or that I didn’t want you guys to know what we were doing.”
“That’s different, though,” Bokuto said gently. “That’s not being private. That’s called keeping her a secret.”
“Oh,” Akaashi said, the realisation dawning on him like a blow to the head.
“Yeah,” Bokuto said. “And history… you’ll always have history. Why not continue writing it into the story you want it to be? Instead of preserving it for what it is?”
And for that, Akaashi didn’t have an answer. He didn’t know.
“I think,” He eventually said, “That I need some time to think about it.”
Bokuto beamed at him, “Okay, I’m glad you—“
Akaashi’s stomach growled loudly, the sound felt like it was magnified by his relatively empty room. He smiled sheepishly, “Maybe…I should eat first, though.”
He felt less empty after eating. And with Bokuto’s encouragement, there was enough bravado in him to even join the others on the beach.
Bokuto tried to pull him into the water, where the rest were, but Akaashi needed a little bit more time. He sat in the sand and let the sun do its job.
He tilted his face up and closed his eyes. The warmth of it cleared his brain, made it easier to think about what he should do about you.
Bokuto had said something that gave him hope. When Akaashi had thanked him over lunch for keeping him company, Bokuto had shook his head and said, no need to thank me. Then he leaned in and whispered a secret, actually, it was Y/N who told me to check on you.
Hope bloomed in him like a weed. A part of him was still afraid, and that part wanted to desperately ignore Bokuto’s words and stay on his current course. But a part of him, the one that didn’t listen to any thought but his heart, said, what if you were brave for once and asked for what you want?
When he opened his eyes, he saw someone come out of the water. It was Kenma.
“Hi,” Akaashi greeted, watching warily as Kenma sat next to him. He wondered if you spoke to him. He wondered if Kenma was disappointed in him.
But Kenma’s eyes only held concern, “You okay?”
Akaashi shrugged, turning back to the view of the ocean. “I’ve had better days.”
“Sounds like the understatement of the century,” Kenma joked. Akaashi’s mouth quirked up, “Yeah, you could say that.”
“You wanna talk about it?” Kenma asked.
Akaashi hummed, non-committal, “I bet Bokuto told you everything already.”
“Not Bokuto,” Kenma’s nose scrunched, and the confirmation made Akaashi groan. “She was really nice about it, don’t worry. Even told us to lay off on the jokes.”
The information made Akaashi feel like shit. He was the one who essentially broke your heart, and yet, here you were telling people to check up on him and treat him nicely. “Man,” Akaashi whistled, “I really don’t deserve her, huh?”
“Well,” Kenma said, dragging the word out, before smiling at Akaashi, “You’ve had better moments, let’s just leave it at that.” At Akaashi’s frown, Kenma smacked his back goodnaturedly, “Come on, enough with the self-loathing. I still have hope for you guys.”
Akaashi’s brows furrowed, “You do? After what you heard last night?”
Kenma nodded, “Yeah. Eight years, right? You forget, I watched you both grow up together. If there was anybody from our town who would make it, it would have to be you guys.”
It’s an expectation. But now, hearing it said like this, it brought zero pressure. Only comfort.
“Yeah?” Akaashi said, hope in the lilt of his voice.
“Do you know when you fell in love with Y/N?” Kenma asked all of a sudden.
The question had him spluttering. “W-what? Love? What the fuck—“
Kenma laughed, bright and loud. He covered his mouth with his hand, but his eyes were crinkled at the corners with glee, “What is that reaction? You don’t love her?”
He looked away, “I don’t know.”
Kenma patted him on the arm, “Don’t worry. Even if you’re the last person in the world to realize it, you’ll eventually figure it out.”
“Hey!” Akaashi said, insulted.
“I’m serious about the love thing. You’ve always looked at her differently. The only thing I’m curious about is how you took that first step.”
“What first step?”
“Hooking up,” Kenma clarified, “Ever since last night, that’s what I’ve been stuck on. What changed that led you to make a move?”
“Asking for advice?” Akaashi teased, which had Kenma groaning. “Okay, I won’t make fun of you. To be honest, I wasn’t really thinking. I was drunk. Which is more of a cautionary tale, actually. Do everything sober. That’s my love advice.”
Kenma glowered at him, “That’s your best love advice? You weren’t thinking? Don’t get drunk? Remind me to never ask you for relationship advice if I ever need it.”
“You never ask anyway,” Akaashi said, and he realised that there was something to consider in that. How Kenma sees him, what Kenma feels. It’s always been the hardest to take care of Kenma. He had always seemed older than he actually was and it always felt like he knew more than what Akaashi had to offer anyway. It was a little sad, now that he was thinking about it.
“I don’t know if I’ll be helpful,” Akaashi eventually said, over the crash of water on the shore. Distantly, he heard you yelling at Bokuto to put you down. “I mean, look at me. I’m a mess. You’re the one who’s always certain. For example, my thing with Y/N feels quite certain to you, but it feels absolutely fragile to me. It scares the shit out of me.”
Kenma nodded.
“But I will say,” Akaashi added, not knowing if he was saying it for Kenma or his own benefit, “Some things are worth the risk.”
Some things were worth throwing caution in the wind for.
“Yeah?” Kenma said.
Kenma laughed, finally standing up. He wiped sand off his beach trunks and offered him a hand, “Be confident. Take the risk. Come on, I’ll even help you out, since you tried to give me advice for the future. You’ve pined enough from afar.”
“I was not pining!” Akaashi retorted hotly, but took his hand.
Kenma gave him a look.
“Well,” Akaashi started, dusting the sand off himself, “Bokuto and I talked. I don’t know. Maybe I do want to…” He swallows, “date her.”
Kenma stared at him, not saying a single word. It had him looking down, childishly kicking sand as he stuffed his hands in his pocket, “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Kenma laughed out loud and punched him on the arm.
“Ow,” He winced, looking at Kenma with a glare. It hurt more than he wanted to admit. Kenma shook his head, “I thought you’d follow it up with some action plan, Akaashi. Me dragging you to the water will only get you so far.”
Akaashi sniffed, “I haven’t thought that far. Besides, I don’t know if she even wants to talk to me.”
“Maybe ask her then,” Kenma said, pointing towards the ocean. “She’s right there.” And you were there, though when Akaashi looked, your head was mid-turn. Looking away and going, like the seagulls on the horizon.
Migratory birds, a comparison that’s more of a wish than anything else. A hope that they’ll always come back.
His chest tightened the moment the water brushed against his feet and you still refused to look in his direction.
And Akaashi thought, it’s wild. The way moments in life ebb back and forth, the way waves keep meeting the shore.
The first time he met you, you didn’t even know how to swim. So many summers they spent before and somehow they’d evaded being in the same body of water for so long.
The moment he found out though, he’d dragged you to the pool. He couldn’t let his best friend live further without learning how.
You were terrified but stubbornly hiding it. Akaashi could see through it though, could tell by the fear calcifying in the clench of your jaw, by the tremors running in the shake of your fist.
But before Akaashi could even run his hands over your shoulders in comfort, you had swallowed your nerves, nodded at him, and said, I’m ready. You’ve always been the braver one..
Eventually, after months of diving headfirst, you didn’t need to be brave anymore. You were bursting from the water’s surface, swimming like you were born for it. Butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke—devolving to a freestyle of shoving Akaashi into the water and laughing.
It was the summer you learned how to swim and the summer Akaashi learned to stand still, waist deep in the water, and wait for you to swim to him.
Maybe this summer, Akaashi finally learns to stop waiting and finally swim to you.
He floundered.
He has never understood what people meant when they said he had it so easy when it came to you. Watching you obviously avoid meeting his gaze or sitting next to him or even straight up being quiet rather than participate in a conversation he was in—he understood now.
And so, he decided to ask help from the people who’s been (lovingly) torturing him this beach trip. His friends.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, his past self would have strangled him for it. He would be agape with disbelief, but it was okay. His past self was stupid. But he won’t linger on it, he doesn’t have the time.
(Besides, growth mentality is all the rage now.)
With that, he boldly entered Kuroo’s room, where Kenma was currently chilling at the foot of his bed. “Guys,” Akaashi said, walking forward. “I’m only going to say this once. But, I need your help.”
Kuroo grinned. He looked like the shark from Finding Nemo. Terrifying. “On what?”
“I’m going to ask Y/N out.”
“Hallelujah,” Kuroo said, putting his hands together in prayer. “Finally. Our misery is ending. I will finally know peace.”
Akaashi let him have his celebration. Kenma smiled, “Alright, tell us what you need.”
It was a very simple plan.
No, Akaashi was not kidding. All the plan entailed was to have Kuroo, Kenma, and Bokuto quietly leave the beach house, so that he could get you alone.
It was very successful. Maybe too successful because one moment, Akaashi was steeling himself, and the next, everyone was gone. It was the moment of truth.
He knocked on your door and felt his heart leap out of his chest when he heard you say, “Come in!”
Akaashi took a deep breath and then opened the door. You weren't even looking at him, too busy scrolling through your phone.
“Hey,” Akaashi greeted and tried not to feel hurt, when you jumped at the sound of his voice.
“Keiji…” You said and looked at him with an expression that was wary and hesitant and so, so tired. Rarely has such a look been directed at him. Every part of him wanted that expression gone.
Akaashi swallowed, “Can we talk? Please?”
“About what?” You said, crossing your arms. “We’ve already said what needed to be said.”
He winced at the words, and something in you must have faltered over it for your next words were much softer, “Listen, I’m not mad at you, okay? I just need some space and time to get over it.”
What Akaashi means to say is, you don’t have to get over this. But what came stumbling out was, “Please. I don’t want to lose you.”
He hated how it sounded. Like a child. He’s the one who’s supposed to take control. The one who’s supposed to be leading the conversation.
You smiled, but it didn’t look right. Not like how you usually smiled at Akaashi, all bright and beaming sincerity. “You won’t,” you softly said. “We’ll be fine. Been eight years already. We’ll get through this, just like we got through graduating and going to different colleges hundreds of miles away. Just like how we’ll get through graduating this next year and moving on again.”
You said those words so easily it almost convinced Akaashi that things would fall into place. He could almost forget those months he was at college alone, the quiet moments in the middle of the night where he anxiously wondered if there would be distance between you two, if you had grown apart into different people because you were in two different places. You kind of were, until the gap was closed because you decided to follow him. That it was always you bridging the gap. Always you going to him.
You stood up, pocketing your phone, and walked over to him. No, not to him. To the door. Akaashi tried to block you, “Wait—“
But you side-stepped him and all he was left with was panic. Every word unsaid, every feeling rushed through him. It has him reaching for you, his arms wrapping around your waist, hugging you from behind. “Please wait,” He begged, burying his face against your shoulder.
He felt you stiffen in his hold, “Keiji, what—“
“I’m sorry,” Akaashi blurted out, hating the way it sounded clumsy and desperate, so unlike a true apology. He had planned to start with something a little more composed than this. A little more eloquent than the way his fingers tightened around the material of your shirt. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” You asked. “So what if you didn’t want to date me—“
“I’m a coward. I don’t know how you were so patient with my stupid ass. You could do better,” Akaashi rambled, his heart running a thousand miles per second. His mouth was running on nothing but the truth. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with me, that you always have to be the braver one. I always act like I know what’s better for us, but you’re the one who’s always stayed true to your heart. Always pushing us forward.”
He takes a shaky breath, steadying himself. “I’m sorry for so many things. Like the fact that this is probably the least romantic confession on earth, because I’ve always been better with actions over words. And because I start everything with sorry, instead of my best foot forward, which is what you deserve. I overthink things and get stuck in my own head for far too long. I miss the right timing because I’m so afraid of messing up. But I’m here now. If it’s not too late, I’m here asking for a second chance.”
In front of him, you touched the hands on your waist, slowly pushing them off. Akaashi’s heart sank, but he knew this would be a possibility. Slowly, he peeled himself off and tried hard not to get teary-eyed at the rejection.
You turned to face him, face blank. “A second chance?” you asked.
Akaashi nodded. Figuring that he had nothing else to lose, he said, “Yeah. If you still wanted,” His mouth trembled, “I was hoping you could be my girlfriend.”
Still, you showed no reaction. “Your girlfriend?”
“I’ll even take a single date, at this point,” Akaashi confessed.
“Why?” You asked.
“What do you mean, why?” Akaashi felt like he was being jerked around. (He can’t even complain, because that’s what he did to you.)
But you didn’t let up, “Because you don’t want to lose me?”
“No,” Akaashi shook his head, “I mean, of course, I don’t want to lose you. But it’s not just because of that. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have started with that. I should have started with the fact that I’m absolutely head over heels for you. But I got nervous, and I can’t think when you look at me—“
He was startled when he felt hands cup his cheek. He found himself staring into your eyes, your entire face so close; Akaashi could hardly breathe. “Stop thinking then,” you ordered, “Now, tell me why I should date you.”
Akaashi couldn’t believe his ears, “Are you giving me another chance?”
“Convince me first,” you said, but there was the beginning of a smile in the quirk of your mouth.
“I’d treat you right,” Akaashi promised. “I’d take you everywhere, on all the dates. I’d buy you anything you want, as long as I have the funds. I’ll tell everyone you’re my girlfriend. Kiss you where everybody could see. Hold your hand even though your hands get sweaty after a while—“
“They do not!” You couldn’t help interject, but Akaashi shook his head, letting himself smile as hope grew in him, “They totally do, but it’s okay, I’ll keep holding them. I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ll ever have, that’s a threat and a promise, by the way—“
You raised a brow, “How is that a threat?”
“Because I intend to ruin all men for you,” Akaashi said lowly and watched with pleasure as a beautiful red flush stained your cheeks. “In all areas, but especially in—“
You covered his mouth, “Okay. I’ve heard enough.”
Akaashi perked up, which had you narrowing your eyes, “I’m still mad at you.”
Akaashi kissed the hand covering his mouth, before taking it off, “Okay. I’m your boyfriend?”
“Yes,” You bit your lip, giving him a serious stare. “Don’t make me regret it.”
“I won’t,” Akaashi said, leaning down and closing his eyes, “I promise.”
In the end, you both walk out of the house through the back porch and onto the beach where your friends are hiding.
Akaashi’s holding your hand tight, with no intention of letting go.
You’re both greeted by their cheers.
“Is it official?” Kuroo yelled out.
You covered your face with one hand, “God, he’s insufferable—“
“It’s official!” Akaashi laughed, raising your intertwined hands in the air. You turned to him, a reprimand at the tip of your tongue but Akaashi kissed you before you could say anything. When he pulled away, you kissed his nose, giggling, “I’ll never forget this summer.”
Akaashi smiled softly, “Me too.”
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that-was-anticlimactic · 2 days ago
i’ve seen a lot of sk8 fics where kojiro is the one who initiates or fights while kaoru mothers the kids and not that i don’t adore protective, caring kaoru and kojiro getting to punch ad*m in the face... but i really feel like it’s the other way around. now here me out:
remember when ad*m like. tried to murder kaoru? kojiro didn’t even look at ad*m until he started gloating (like an idiot). when ad*m tries to approach reki after their second beef and he stepped in front and stopped him. he stopped him, and stood in the way. he acts as defense rather than offense. i made this post a couple months ago about kojiro and how he uses his voice and how he isn’t a naturally angry person. his instinctive reaction to bad things is to comfort. kojiro is good with words and he’s good at comforting or being there. that’s how he was able to support kaoru when he was infatuated with ad*m when they were younger. he didn’t hesitate to go to karou when he got hurt, but he hesitated when it came to ad*m.
kaoru, on the other hand, does not hesitate. remember when reki called him “cherry” in public and he straight up grabbed his collar and ready to throttle him? kaoru doesn’t hesitate when it comes to ad*m, and he doesn’t hesitate when it comes to kicking kojiro’s a** (quite literally). kaoru has a bit of a temper and doesn’t always seem to know what to say when it comes to comforting people. that’s where he hesitates.
now this strays a little from canon evidence, but let’s be real: kaoru was the “bad boy” in school, the one who convinced kojiro to skip school with him, who wasn’t afraid to talk back to the teachers if they were rude to students or unfair, the one who got into fistfights if someone looked at him or kojiro the wrong way (and who definitely got suspended for punching someone who talked crap about kojiro / made kojiro feel bad about himself). obviously he’s more reserved now, but he is quick to get in the offensive position. he doesn’t like to sit down when he could do something.
now, i’m not saying that kojiro never took offense. after he made sure that kaoru was okay and safe (because that’s his main priority), he wouldn’t be afraid to take action and fight for kaoru. he is more than capable. but kojiro would be the one who would say “maybe we shouldn’t skip school again...” but would ultimately follow kaoru because he would always follow kaoru.
anyways, i think that kaoru deserves to scream and go feral, should he choose. that’s it. that’s the main point of this post.
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lokibus · a day ago
I wanted to share something with you because there's a sentiment I see quite often in my friends (and also in myself sometimes).
"I should write. I haven't written in quite some time now and I am a writer. So I should write."
What isn't said out loud, but still part of the subtext is usually something along the lines of "Am I allowed to call myself a writer if I don't write every day/week/month or write a certain amount of words/chapters/works".
"Am I enough (of a writer) if I don't write whenever I physically can?"
So maybe this metaphor has been done before, I don't know, but as I was wandering around in our garden, I had a thought:
An apple tree, right? Or whatever kind of fruit-bearing tree/bush you like best.
An apple tree doesn't stop being an apple tree in winter. Or spring. Or summer. Or autumn. Or winter again. It is an apple tree whether it carries apples or not, whether it carries one apple or a hundred. Whether it is young, old, short, tall. It is an apple tree.
You don't go around questioning whether it is an apple tree just because it doesn't carry apples right now. You know it is an apple tree.
In some years, the tree might carry less apples than in others. Sometimes, you replant an apple tree, but the soil isn't right and there are fewer apples this year. Sometimes, the weather throughout the year just doesn't allow "perfect" apple growth. Sometimes, there's not enough insects around to pollinate the tree properly. Sometimes, a storm breaks one of the branches off the tree and there'll obviously be fewer apples the next year.
But this apple tree doesn't stop being an apple tree. It doesn't somehow lose its "privilege" to call itself an apple tree. It doesn't have to carry apples all year 'round or every year to deserve being called an apple tree.
Am I overextending this metaphor yet?
I could go on about different kinds of apples (and apple trees); how some people don't like sour apples but that doesn't somehow make all Granny Smith/Boskop/whatever sour apple you can think of bad apples. But this is getting quite long and I don't know how many more times I can see/type "apple".
And since I want to drive this point home, let me get a bit sappy (yes, this is a tree pun. I am not sorry.)
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This is our Boskop tree. Not the prettiest, I know. It is now about twenty to twenty five years old (but don't quote me on that), and it is one of my favourite plants in our garden. It has seen draught and storm over the years, a lot of snow, some wild boars that made their way into our garden and were weirdly determined to destroy our fruit trees. Some years my dad pollinated it with a paintbrush, because there weren't many bees around (dunno if you can actually pollinate an apple tree with a paintbrush, but it kinda worked?).
This tree has carried apples as big as a child's head and apples the size of an apricot. Some years, it only carries one apple. Some years, not even that. But we celebrate every apple we get from this tree, no matter how big or small, whether it's the only one or the tenth.
And you know what happened when I stood before this tree that's barely as tall as I am, trying to mentally put this weird tree metaphor into words?
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My dog came to sit next to me, because he wanted pets ofc, but also because he's a trained therapy dog and always knows when someone gets a little too lost in their own head.
And he's basically what all my lovely fandom friends are. A "Hey, I'm here if you wanna talk" or a "You're great" or a "Remember this thing called food?" or a "Think about something else, at least for a little while" or a "You've been staring a little too long at this apple tree".
(He then ran and jumped around like a madman, like fandom friends sometimes do as well^^)
You're obviously not an apple tree. And this metaphor obviously has its shortcomings. But... you get what I mean, right? You don't have to write, to draw, *to create* all the time, at every price, to be part of those categories.
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stromuprisahat · 2 days ago
I always found Alina's reaction to learning about amplifiers and Aleksander being one so... subdued. There's no sympathy from her internal thoughts, no consideration of how absolutely terrifying and isolating that must have been for him. At one point she's like "but aren't you scared that someone will kill you and use your bones?" and that's it. Which is such a rude question tbh because of course? What do you think, Alina, would you be scared? She's so selfish, she just doesnt care about people
Well, at least that's one character trait, where she's consistent.
Look at her dialogue with Ivan in chapter 20:
“You know what he plans to do, Ivan.”
“He plans to bring us peace.”
“At what price?” I asked desperately. “You know this is madness.”
“Did you know I had two brothers?” Ivan asked abruptly. The familiar smirk was gone from his handsome face. “Of course not. They weren’t born Grisha. They were soldiers, and they both died fighting the King’s wars. So did my father. So did my uncle.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yes, everyone is sorry. The King is sorry. The Queen is sorry. I’m sorry. But only the Darkling will do something about it.”
“It doesn’t have to be this way, Ivan. My power could be used to destroy the Fold.”
Ivan shook his head. “The Darkling knows what has to be done.”
“He’ll never stop! You know that. Not once he’s had a taste of that kind of power. I’m the one wearing the collar now. But eventually, it will be all of you. And there won’t be anyone or anything strong enough to stand in his way.”
A muscle twitched in Ivan’s jaw. “Keep talking treason and I’ll gag you,” he said, and without another word, he strode out of the tent.
Ivan: My family's dead because of wars. The Darkling's gonna stop them, so it won't keep happening.
Alina: I'm sorry.
Ivan: Yeah, but that's not really helpfull, is it?
Alina: ... anyway... The Darkling EVIL! He needs to be stopped.
Ivan: ...
No compassion, no suggestion of a different solution, just vague strokes of general picture of what should inspire fear and worry, when she completely ignores that’s something he intimately knows in much more specific way. As highly ranked Grisha, he probably faced situations that would put the Darkling’s imaginary rule of terror of absolute peace to shame.
A sad sob story? Who cares?
Wars? Not in my meadow, bye!
(Btw, did you hear I’m an orphan?!)
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obsessedwithseb · 2 days ago
Cut That? Part two
Pairing; Sebastian Stan x co-star!reader
Warnings; mentions of anxiety and overthinking, very cheeky reader, other than that only tickles and fluff!
Word count: 4078
Summary: since you found out this little secret about your co-worker Sebastian, you tried testing this out. But payback followed right after and you never actually got to get your revenge. Until you found the perfect opportunity during a cozy evening in Sebastian’s trailer…
A/N: now this really is the longest fic I’ve written, so excuse the long reading time! I just couldn’t leave out some things! I hope you like this chapter? It took me some time and I was able to write this even when I was busy! So also excuse any sentences that doesn’t make sense at all.
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The scene from earlier still had you flustered, well, rather the aftermath. Just when you thought he did listen to you, the thought flew away in a quick second. And with all the other crew members watching the both of you, it made it even worse. Luckily for you, unfortunately for Sebastian, you probably found out that he was a bit ticklish himself, only by a poke in his side.
You sat in the tent, the bench was not comfortable but the only option in here to sit down, so you had to. You had a bottle of water in your hand, drinking a sip from it now and then. Your throat was kinda dry from all the laughing and giggling, not that you were mad in any way, but you couldn't control your coughing anymore, that's why you sat here, drinking from this bottle, watching Sebastian just walking in.
"Ugh, and to think I would have a quiet minute for once." You groaned, smiling up at Sebastian cheekily. With a gasp he turned to you, scoffing and sucking at the inside of his cheek.
"Want me to go? Want me to leave you here alone all by yourself, cheeks?" He pointed at the outside of the tent, giving you a sarcastic expression with a playful smile. With a giggle you shook your head, looking down when you felt your cheeks flushing pink, slowly but surely.
"I hope I didn't embarrass you that much, did I?" You felt the bench sinking a bit at his weight, followed by a hand rubbing your back. You moved your head back up, catching up with his eyes.
"No. Definitely did not." You started, "it was more than that."
"Oh wow, now you're being a dramatic one." He moved his hand from your back to reach out for a bottle of water himself. You eyes fell down to his side, biting your lower lip with a smile. Should you dare to try it? What if he isn't ticklish? That would be so awkward-
While you thought about it, sebastian already had gotten what he wanted, he opened the bottle and gave you a confused glare. You were deep in your thoughts, in your own world, your eyes not moving away from his side and that's when he caught up on that. A grin slowly grew on his lips and he held the bottle up to his lips.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He drank a sip from the water when you came back to this reality.
"What.. what do you mean?" His mouth was filled with water when his eyebrows jumped up, just like he wouldn't believe that you didn't know what he was talking about. Right after the moment he swallowed, he spoke again: "you know, trying to tickle me."
Even though you were an actor, you couldn't hold back that innocent smile on your lips, followed by the soft shade of pink on your cheeks. You looked away from him, knowing that seeing his smirk, which always seemed so very mischievously, didn't make it any better.
"Now someone's being shy all of a sudden.." he teased, pulling the words long a bit.
"I wasn't going to do something.." you looked back at him, looking as innocent as always.
"Oh sure you weren't, you only wanted to do this!" His left hand launched into your side, making you squeak and jump away from him. Giggles flew out of your mouth and you clutched your side when you had a safe distance to your co-worker.
"Ihi wahasn't!"
"Oh please, you better stop those lies before I gotta take some drastic measures!" He pointed his finger up in the air. You had to be honest, but this looked so ridiculous, he acted like your dad- he was.. but not in real life!
"You're taking that dad role way too serious."
"Oho? Excuse me?" His left leg swung over the bench, followed by his right one until he stood on the ground, slowly coming closer to the place you were. Your smile just got bigger the closer he got, knowing you were totally screwed, but also having a plan.
"For someone that ticklish, you're quite cheeky today, aren't you?" You didn't move a muscle, not even an inch away from him. He did make you nervous as hell right now, you weren't sure if you could follow your plan like you wanted to, but you'll try.
He reached out his arm, his hands forming claws. God he looked like a dinosaur from Jurassic world or something.. he should apply for playing one..
"What's going on in that mind of yours huh? Maybe something like.. 'oh I was just hoping this would happen!' Or... 'is there another tease I can say?' Or- ARGH-" that's when you shot your hands in his underarms, smiling when he let out a few chuckles. But this wasn't the reaction you'd hoped for. When you squeezed down his sides there was a stronger reaction, but this didn't last long. He grabbed your wrists and pushed them away from his body, smiling like a little child.
"Now this is even worse than I thought it would be.." he chuckled and looked at you, "I told you, I wouldn't do that if I were you and you still did! You're making this really obvious, cheeks." Aaand your plan didn't go as you wanted it to go, there's no escape, he's holding your wrists in his hands, not strong, but why would you want to fight back? It's only making it worse and you're still recovering from the attack from before.
"Nonono seb, ihi didn't recover from the attack earlier! Don't!" You begged, hoping deep down that this maybe would work out if you're giving him your best puppy dog eyes.
"Mh? What attack you mean? I don't remember anyone attacking you!" He managed to bring both of your wrists into one of his hands, his free hand wiggled its fingers teasingly right before your tummy.
"Now that tummy is craving for tickles, isn't it?" Nervous giggles flew out of your mouth as you tried sucking in your tummy as much as possible. When his fingers eventually made contact with your body, your giggles just increased, letting out a whine.
"All of this wouldn't have happened, if you didn't have tickled me, you know, cheeks." His fingers danced all around your time and sides, not leaving out one single spot. Your hands tugging against the strength of his arm, god why does he has to be so strong?
"You know what I am waiting for~" he sang, his hand making its way up to your ribs, ever so gently tickling the sensitive skin there. Your nose scrunched up and you closed your eyes shut, looking into his face which had this big, teasy smile on his lips made the sensation even worse.
"Or don't you wanna say it, mh?" His Hand stayed there for a little while before he thought of something he didn't test out yet. Since your eyes were closed, you couldn't see where his hand was going next and when his hand stopped, you got confused. Did he get tired of it?
"You really don't wanna say it," you heard him saying, "but maybe this will make you speak?" You felt his fingertips touching your neck and you immediately jolted away.
"I barely touched you!" He chuckled out surprised by your reaction.
"Dohon't touch my neheck!" You begged with a giggle, opening your eyes and meeting his eyes again. He tilted his head at you, a grin slowly growing on his lips while his eyebrow shot up curiously. When he touched your neck again, fluttering his finger just so lightly against it, you jolted away again, giggling sweetly. Yes he's right, he barely even touched you but this spot.. this spot is a dangerous one.. it's not as ticklish as your tummy, but you would say it's the second most ticklish spot on your body.
"Would you not move away for a second?!" He grumbled in a playful way, squeezing your side with his hand which brought you back into the giggles. Your head shot back into your neck and your back bend, trying to escape his hand.
"IhiHIHIm SOHohORReheE!"
"There we go!" His hand stopped, moving over to his own body, but his other hand which held your wrists still together, didn't.
"But I still wanna find out why are so jumpy when I tickle you right hereee..." just when you thought it was finally over, his hand, again, moved to your neck, scribbling your skin. You squeaked, moving your shoulder up so his hand unfortunately was trapped where it was.
"Now.. my hand is trapped," he sighed, dramatically as ever, "I guess you have to move so you're free from my tickles."
This was just a proof to you, that he's the meanest person ever, even more mean than the grinch, but you still love him. With a bit of hesitation, you moved your shoulder down, not trusting him completely, but he did removed his hand from your neck.
"I'll remember this one." He winked and let your wrists free, quickly rubbing your shoulder and grabbing bottle. His feet wakes him out of the tent since the break already was over.
You watched him go with a smile full of revenge, now you wanted to get him back. Maybe he is strong, but what if it makes him weaker when he's being tickled? Whenever you get the chance, you are definitely going to find this out, taking the risk of having the payback right after.
"Y/N cheeks, I forgot to ask you, if you mind coming over this evening to my trailer?" Sebastian plopped up behind you, scratching his nails along the skin of your neck. He caught you off guard, with a surprised squeak you dodged away from his hand, resting yours on your neck. You let out a groan the moment you heard him chuckling in amusement. He really did like this information about you..
"Yeah.. yeah why not?" You turned around to face him, allowing h to see your soft smile which you wore on your lips.
"Great! Be there at 8, alright?" You nodded. You have no clue of what he's planning to do, but you trust him enough to say, it will be a fun evening eventually.
You walked over to Sebastian's trailer, usually you would be in your hotel room already, cuddling into the sheets and slowly finding your peaceful sleep. But today, there was a different plan which ruined your daily routine. The wind blew through your hair which was put into a rather messy bun, some strands of hair flying around in the air. Your arms crossed over your chest, though you wore a hoodie, the soft breeze was still a bit too cold since you were perfectly heated up. Your sweatpants loosened around your hips, you forgot to tighten them at your waist, but you didn't want to stop walking now, you're going to do that when you at Seb's. You deep down hoped, he already had the cappuccino for you ready, you always needed a cappuccino after an exhausting day at set, especially after this one.
When you arrived at his trailer, you ascended the stairs, gently knocking at the door which flew open seconds after. A smile from your opponent greeted you welcoming, you replied it weakly.
"Didn't think you actually would be here." Seb joked, grinning when he stepped aside, allowing you to enter. You gasped and nudged his arm when you passed him.
"Watch it or I'll leave faster than you think." Now it was your time teasing Sebastian a bit, it wasn't as affective as you thought it would be because he only let out a chuckle, but you still had your fun. You walked through to the couch, taking a seat on the leather and looked at the table expectantly. There was no cup. Not even a snack.
"I already could cry." You clapped your hands together and looked at the empty wood in front of you. Sebastian just had closed the door when he looked at you worried yet confused.
"Why would you do that?"
"Don't you see this?" You asked him with a brief of sarcastic stern.
"No? What do you mean?" He looked around, doing a spin around himself to see if there's something which shouldn't be there.
"Yeah, me neither. So do the coffee and get the snacks." You sassed with a grin, your eyes reflecting the playfulness which boiled in you.
"Oh- oh you.." he couldn't hold back the smile which started to grew on his face. You really were a cheeky one today, he noticed, I mean- how couldn't he? You're making this way too obvious to not be recognized.
You felt some strange feeling of butterflies coming up in your stomach again when he went to make your drink, the smirk not leaving his expressions. The thought of this movie to end made your heart clench, not knowing when you will actually see him again, but this wasn't something you should be worrying now, there's a lot of time left before the last day of shooting arrives.
"Don't forget, I'd like a cap-"
"A cappuccino. I know." He muttered loud enough for you to hear. Was he offended by your words from before?- no he wasn't, otherwise he wouldn't have had this smirk on his face.. but still, the thought of him being offended dominated your mind right now, you desperately tried pushing it away so it wouldn't affect your mood, but it was hard not to overthink.. you went silent.
Sebastian turned around and looked at you, scanning your state when he grabbed for the handle of the drawer.
"Want something to snack there?" He asked you, opening his drawer which was full of some snacks, from potato chips to chocolate bars. You didn't answer since you were lost in your thoughts.
"Y/N?" He tried again, loosening his grip around the handle. He moved over to you and poked your shoulder in hope to get back your attention. Which worked. You jumped at his touch, looking at him stunned.
"I asked you something, Y/N/N." His voice softened just as his facial expressions, you definitely saw some concern in his eyes, "are you okay?" He added after a short pause.
"Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I was just daydreaming." You weakly smiled, it looked miserably in his eyes, it wasn't a real smile, it seemed forced to him. With a sigh he took a seat next to you.
"Now, cheeks, what changed your mood out of a sudden? Some thought crossed your mind, am I right?" He rested his arms on the table, shuffling closer to your side and meeting your eyes. He truly was such a sweetheart, it was still scary that he knows exactly when you were lying..
"You're not offended, are you?" You asked subdued, weirdly playing with your hands and picking at the skin next to your nails.
"Offended by what?- stop that." He noticed your nervous playing at your skin and didn't hesitate from stopping you continuing this by cradling both of your hands into his.
"Well, I was a bit harsh a few moments ago, wasn't I?" You looked at the hands from the two of you, feeling comforted immediately by this.
"Harsh? Oh please, if this was harsh then how is Mackie acting all the time?" The soft chuckle told you he wasn't offended by anything, he rather tried showing you that he felt different about you.
"He's being brutal then!" He chuckled warm-hearted, smiling when you breathed out a soft giggle.
"I know you were being cheeky as always, don't worry about that." He gave your hands a squeeze and your eyes a caring smile. It made you feel better knowing he does know how to take your words.
"Now, let me ask you again.. do you want anything to snack?" He let go of your hands and got up from the couch, kneeling down to the drawer he opened minutes before.
"What can you offer?" You shuffled closer to the edge from the couch and got up slowly, this was just a perfect opportunity...
"Well.. some potato chips, a bit of chocolate or coo- hehey!" His arms slammed to his sides and he fell onto his knees, chuckling at your sudden tickly touch at his sides. This immediately made your mood light up again, smiling wide and bright.
"Gohod youhure so cheeky!" He growled through his chuckles, trying grabbing your hands, but just when he removed his arms from his sides, you tended your hands, not giving him any chance to make you stop.
"But Seb, this is is so fun! Especially since you always act so tough and strong!" Your nails scribbled along his sides, not leaving a spot there untouched. It was way to amusing watching him switching from chuckling through his nose to chuckling through his mouth.
"Youhure soho dohown fohor THIS-" your hands somewhat shot into his underarms, his reaction catching you that off guard, you jolted back, realising him already by accident. The way he jumped away and his voice increased and got loud scared the living hell out of you.
"Holy shihit.." you grabbed your heart, smiling at Sebastian who still breathed out some chuckles, "I wasn't expecting you to be that ticklish there.." you continued, definitely with the intention to tease him about that. You knew you were screwed now, you would be confused if not, but you didn't mind, because only these few seconds of actually tickling him made you feel like you won.
"And I wasn't expecting you to attack me while I was so kind offering you some of my snacks!"
"Well.. I couldn't resist.." you sheepishly said, scratching the back of your head with a quick giggle.
"Of course you couldn't." He growled and got back onto his feet, a grin placed onto his lips.
"I hope potato chips are enough for ya." He grabbed a bag and handed it to you. You nodded and threw the bag onto the table before your eyes swung to the coffee machine. Finally your cappuccino was ready for you to drink, the scent was filling the trailer and you were desperate for one.
"Thanks for the cappuccino seb" you thanked him sweetly and grabbed the cup, drinking a sip from the cappuccino when some foam remained on your upper lip.
"Mhhh that's good.." you hummed with your eyes closed, licking over your lips happily. Now this evening can start...
You were cuddled up on the couch in a soft blanket seb gave you, this was just perfect. It was only a bit of talking, but this already made your evening a great one. Seb was talking about his past in Romania and Austria, how he got there and what he still remembers. You listened to his words, careful not to drift off to sleep.
"And what about you? Do you have any past?" He asked you in a soft tone, holding the warm cup in his hands and twisted it a bit in them.
"Uh.. nope. I guess I'm just boring." You shrugged with your shoulders. Of course there is some past, but yours couldn't keep up with his, yours was really just an usual childhood with a treehouse and school.. and now you became an actor. That's probably the only cool thing that happened to you.
"Nah I don't believe that!"
"You have to, I'm really just-" Sebastian cut off your words with a smile.
"Don't say that word again." He warned with his index finger pointing at you.
"Yes that word..." he mumbled over his lips, a smirk slowly appearing on them.
"But it's the truth!"
"Now you're taking it too far, cheeks." He growled and grabbed your arms, pulling you close to his side and wrapping one arm around your abdomen. You let out an excited yet nervous squeal, kicking out your legs in hope to (accidentally of course) kick him so you would be free, but he didn't care.
"You really want those tickles today, don't you?" He chuckled into your ear while watching you struggle in his hold. Teasingly, he dug his fingers into the soft skin of your stomach, just so that you started to giggle already. While your cheeks heat up with a soft shade of pink, you grabbed his arms, giggling sweetly at the slight tickly sensation.
"But it's so good to know that you don't want me to stop!" His other hand found it's way underneath the blanket, squeezing your thigh in a steady rhythm which made you kick out in hectic. You still didn't know why he was so good in tickling you and if you rather enjoy it or not, because this. This was pure agony.
You screamed in ticklish giggles when he already got bored from your thigh and switched to your hip, thrilling his thumb into the muscle next to your hipbone.
"What a great time to test out these other tickle spots on your body," he whispered into your ear, making sure to blow enough wind against it to leave a tickly feeling there, "and those hips seem pretty ticklish, don't they?" With these words, he pressed his thumb just a little more into the spot, making you flop around like a fish. His hand tickling your hip and your tummy at the same time was torture through and through, making your mind stop thinking for the moment.
"SEHEHEB!" You managed to shout out his name, but like he cared, he didn't listen to you. His hands on your stomach started to press into your lower ribs, wiggling them into the flesh with a grin as bright as the sun (cheesy…).
“That’s what my friends use to call me.” He jibed and continued to torture his on-set child with tickles.
“This is also payback for tickling me! Thought you got away with that, huh?” No, you never thought you got away with this. You were just excited.. in a way.. for when this is gonna happen.. and now it’s happening and it’s making you feel free and happy.. especially when he switched the spots again, from your hips and ribs to only your stomach, kneading into the hypersensitive skin and making you scream. Desperately you giggled like crazy, then becoming hectic after a while when he didn’t stop attacking your tickle spot.
“EEK- NAHAHA!” He kneaded this spot with pure amusement, knowing how ticklish your tummy actually was and how much he enjoyed tickling you to pieces there. Also bearing your giggles made his evening much better, the days have been exhausting recently, he did choose this job, but sometimes it is exhausting and he could fall onto his bed, being fast asleep.
Your laughter became hoarse when he, for the first time, blew a raspberry on your neck. All of a sudden, and in your complete surprise. This knocked you off and you went silent immediately, not being able to move from all the trashing and giggling in his arms. He chuckled into your ear again, slowly stopping his attack and eventually stopping completely.
“You okay there?” Tiredly you nodded a yes, smiling wide while breathy giggles escaped your lungs still.
“Now you’re tired, huh?” Again, only a nod. You already felt your eyelids becoming heavy and you weren’t even close to your hotel! You can’t just sleepover in your trailer.. or can you?
“I’ll bring you to the hotel, yeah? C’mon.” He shoved you off his side carefully, offering you his hand to bring you up onto your feet. This was a crazy day filled with a lot.. of tickles. And during the drive to your guy’s hotel, you looked out of the window, thinking about all of this. Thinking about if this was reality and not just a dream you were being caught in. If you were really sitting in Sebastian Stab’s car and if he really became one of your friends. All of this still felt unreal to you and you probably were never able to realise anything of this until you see yourself next to sebastian on the screens. This was really a rollercoaster ride, and even if you don’t really like them, you never wanted this one to stop.
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shprka · a day ago
The true missed opportunity of Stranger Things should have been the older teens all solving the season's mystery together, Scooby Doo style and all the chaos that would cause
First and most obvious you have Nancy and Steve who have history
Steve and Jonathan who had a fight and Nancy basically cheated on Steve with Jonathan
Nancy and Jonathan are the only couple in the group and are disgustingly in love
Then you have Billy who has beef with everyone but he's the most intimating and strong and knows how to fight so they need him (who also inserts himself into the group because he's nosy, hates being left)
Billy is smarter than everyone gives him credit for (not book smarts but street smarts and the most emotionally intelligent out of the group, even though he acts like a dick). He keeps Nancy on her toes and Billy obviously doesn't like how she acts like she's better than him and also because she cheated on Steve
Him and Steve are rivals too but Billy likes Steve the best from the group but doesn't know how to show it
Steve is trying to be civil but is convinced Billy hates him, and is just plain tired of his bullshit. Also Billy beat the shit out of him that one time and they haven't resolved that so there's that
Also Steve is confused because Billy is bullying him but it feels like flirting (it is, in fact, just Billy flirting but in his dumb way)
Billy also has beef with Jonathan because of his involvement in the Steve/Nancy situation but also Billy sees himself in Jonathan, they have a lot in common and Billy hates how meek Jonathan is, even though he was strong enough beat the shit out of Steve
Robin she just eats snacks and is watching all the drama and chaos unfold
Robin is nosy but likes to keep her secrets close, like maybe she had a crush on Nancy at some point, and now she's BFFs with Steve and also knows Billy is super gay for Steve
Maybe Robin and Jonathan were friends when they were in primary school because they were outcasts and relentlessly bullied but stopped talking to each other suddenly and kept pretending like they don't know one another
Also Nancy (for all her book smarts) is bad at feelings so she's convinced that Robin and Steve are secretly dating and that Billy hates and bullies Steve
Their team name is the Scooby Gang
Also because it's fun Billy would be the Fred of the group, Steve is Daphne, Nancy is Velma, Jonathan has major Shaggy vibes and Robin, idk, I don't wanna say Scooby but then I laugh when I imagine her in a scooby fursuit 😆
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errythinisblue · 7 hours ago
After the video with mason cocking in his kitchen, can you write one where you two are cocking together and he asks you to finger yourself in the counter and after that he fuck you .🥵
Hi babes! Well this was a hell of a request really, it was SO HOT to write that down! I hope you'll enjoy this! ;) <3
Two can play this game
Mason Mount x Y/N
Summary: When you and Mason decide to have an at home date night, pots and pans are not the only things that are getting heated.
Warnings: SMUT, lots of SMUT.
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It was Saturday afternoon and you just got back from shopping. As you had the night off work and Mason had to play on Sunday, you thought it could be a great idea to have an at home date night. You really couldn’t go out on the night before a match, so you and Mason planned the perfect night just for the two of you: you would start your date by cooking your dinner together, and then you would either watch a film or play games, depending on the mood you wanted to set.
As for your mood, it was insanely high. You really couldn’t wait to spend the night alone with your boyfriend, since it was from his birthday night that you hadn’t had a proper date. You were singing to some music that was coming from the speakers in your living room, while you were putting the groceries away; as you noticed the extreme amount of food you bought you suppressed a laugh, shrugging it off immediately as you really didn’t know what you’d like to have for dinner. That was why you bought noodles, pasta, some meat and of course some fruit and vegetables, not to mention the cookies and chocolate that couldn’t really be missing.
“Well looks like I stocked the kitchen up…” once again you laughed to yourself, scratching your head as you looked at your now full fridge and cupboards.
“I already thought you went mental for buying all of that,” you heard Mason say from behind you as he made you jump from the scare, “but talking to yourself is a whole other level babe!” he laughed at the sight of your terrified face.
“Mount I swear to God I’m gonna end you if you keep scaring me like this!” you shouted at him as you clutched your chest with both of your hands.
“It’s not my fault if you keep the volume so high that you can’t even hear me sneaking up on you!” he provocatively made his way to you as he looked directly into your Y/E/C eyes.
“That’s not an excuse for you to act like a child.” you told him as you were now crossing your arms on your chest to stop him from hugging you.
“Aw c’mon babe relax…it was just an innocent prank…” he put his hands on both sides of your neck, tilting your head up with his thumbs, “I didn’t really mean to scare you like that…” he told you as he started laughing again.
“You’re such a bastard. And I was even falling for your words!” you laughed at him in disbelief, pushing him away from you.
“Where do you think you’re going, mh?” he gently grabbed you by your elbow, not letting you go away from him this time, “It’s our date night babe, don’t you think it’s a bit rude to act like this?” he asked you, keeping his gaze on your face.
“You were the first one being rude by scaring me so, it looks like we’re even.” you dangerously neared your face to his, leaving a peck on the corner of his mouth, teasing him, “However, I’m hungry… what about you?” you leaned your palms on his toned chest, feeling his muscles contract under the hoodie he was wearing.
“I am too…should we start cooking?” he kissed you on your jaw, running his hands over your back, under your – his– sweater.
“Yeah, what do you want to eat my love?” you bit your lip as you looked up at him with big sultry eyes, wanting to test his patience.
“I really don’t know now,” he was keeping himself from laughing once again, “since my girlfriend decide to stock up on food to last for a lifetime…” he then let a smile appear on his face.
“You’re really getting on my nerves Masey. Don’t test my patience.” you playfully warned him, pointing a finger at him.
“Then you shouldn’t test mine either.” he stared at your lips, as he wrapped one of his hands around your forefinger you were pointing at him with.
After you decided that you’d have some Bolognese pasta, you started making it. Once you divided your tasks you started cutting the onion, while Mason was grabbing all the ingredients you would need to prepare your dinner.
You were full on crying when you finished cutting the onion, and Mason couldn’t resist the urge to make a funny remark. In his mind, two could play that testing game, and he was determined on winning it by making fun of you and teasing you, knowing full well you couldn’t stand him when he did that.
“Oh babe why are you crying?” he mocked you, “I really didn’t mean to scare you!” he stuck his bottom lip out as he cradled your face in his hands, feigning regret.
“Oh c’mon Mount you can do better than that. Even you know that.” you rolled your eyes at him, drying you tears with the back of your hand and removing his hands from your face.
“Y/N/N you really are no fun…” he raised his hands in the air, knowing he hit a spot since you were really touchy and you couldn’t stand being criticized.
“Oh am I?” you furrowed your brow at that, making him believe that you were annoyed and that you were about to give in. “Okay.” you just shrugged your shoulders, leaving him dumbfounded at your unusual behavior.
You knew he was trying to push your buttons by making fun of you, he knew how thin-skinned you were and he was acting on that. But what he didn’t know was that you were just getting started with him. The doe eyes you gave him when he came home, the barely there touches you left on his body, were only the beginning of your plan.
As he started stirring the sauce you would need to put on your pasta, you started to rearrange the kitchen. But you had your own, unique way of doing it. Every time you would go near him, you made sure to brush your elbow against his own, or your hip against his. You were teasing him with your lingering touches, and every once in a while you would leave soft kisses on his clothed shoulder while you were making your way past him.
When you didn’t hear a word from him in minutes, you knew your plan was working. You could tell even by looking at his face, the visible vein on his temple telling you that he was about to burst. And he did once he saw you bending down, and your bum casually, or maybe not, brushed against his thigh.
“Enough.” he growled, leaving the spoon he was stirring the sauce with in the pan and switching off the induction hob.
“What?” you smirked at him, knowing you had him exactly where you wanted him.
“Don’t play pretend now. You tried to wind me up since I got home, didn’t you?” he asked you, holding your face in his left hand.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you looked at him with your best mask of defiance on, trying to keep your balance on your already shaking legs.
“I told you not to test my patience.” the words left his mouth in an animalistic growl.
“And I told you not to test mine before that.” you were keeping your mask on, you just didn’t know it was about to crumble at his next move.
He lifted you up and sat you down on the kitchen counter, making space for you as he pushed aside everything he found on the marble surface to make room for you. He took your face in his hands once again as he kissed you hungrily, feverishly, lowering his hands down on your body until he met the waist of your black leggings. He hooked his fingers in it, and pushed them down your legs with a little help from you.
You could see the arousal fogging his brown eyes, as his pupils were so dilated that his eye color turned into black. His lips were swollen from the bruising kiss you two just shared. His adam apple was bobbing with the harsh breaths he was taking. His chest rising and falling quickly as his breathing was labored. And when you lowered your gaze to his crotch you understood why.
“I shouldn’t even let you look at me.” he told you, his voice even lower than before.
“What should I do then?” you asked with your soft voice, swinging your legs and slowly opening them wider and wider, so that you could tease Mason even further.
“You’re still trying to play your little games?” he asked you, while he walked around the kitchen counter looking at you like you were his prey, “Then show me your tricks,” he ordered you as he grabbed a stool and sat on it directly in front of you, “would you finger yourself on this counter?”
Your breath hitched at his request, your palms becoming sweaty at the warmth you were feeling in every cell of your body. When he leaned his hands on the marble counter, one on each side of your hips, your first instinct was to open your legs for him.
“Tell me,” he continued setting your body on fire with his words, “would you do that knowing that it turns me on?”
You couldn’t seem to find the words to answer him, so you simply nodded your head, making him chuckle as you knew he wanted to hear you.
“Would you?” he asked you in between his teeth, clenching his jaw.
“Yes.” you breathed.
“Then do it.” he leaned back on the stool as he kept his famished stare on you, “Let me watch you babygirl…I wanna watch you.”
You did as you were told as you slowly pushed your underwear to the side, not wanting to waste another second before starting to move your fingers around your clit. The first touch was enough to send a bolt of electricity up your spine.
Mason watched as you threw your head back and your mouth fell open at the pleasure you were giving yourself, and his cock twitched at the sight of you touching your pussy in front of him, for him. He started to palm his dick through the black Chelsea joggers he still had on from when he came home, while his eyes didn’t move from your fingers.
When your eyes were back on him you thought you died and went to heaven: he was sitting on the stool with his thighs open wide, his torso fully relaxed against the little backrest and his right hand that was stroking his erection over his joggers. He was looking at you through hooded eyes, licking his lips as he eyed you like a full course meal.
The sight of him spurred you on as you slowly inserted a finger inside of you. You moaned at the feeling, as you started moving your hand faster and faster. When you saw him pushing down his trousers enough to free his cock, you instinctively put another finger inside of your now dripping pussy, clearly imagining it was his cock that was filling you. But as your fingers weren’t enough you started circling your nub once again, and in the blink of an eye your fingers movement and the sight of him touching himself in front of you brought you to the brink of your orgasm.
Just as your climax was about to crash down on you like a tidal wave, Mason’s hand stopped your movements as you were about to experience the most intense orgasm ever. Or so you thought. He didn’t even let you whine about your ruined orgasm as he pushed his dick inside of you with a deep, hard thrust that had you boat moaning loudly.
“Did you really thought I’d let you come like that?” he groaned as he stilled himself inside of you, while he was removing both of your shirts from your bodies.
“Please Mase please…move…” you whined as you were now laying back on the counter.
“Should I?” it was his turn to tease you now, as he circled your still sensitive clit with his thumb making you clench around him, “I mean…fuck. You feel so good like that, clenching down on my cock and taking it all like the good girl you are.” he struggled with his words, “’Cause you’re a good girl right?”
“I am…” you whimpered, feeling your body on fire even when your back rested against the cold white marble, “oh fuck me please…let me show you I can take it all baby please…”
“Show me then.” he started thrusting into you at a fast pace, “Show me you can take it all.” he growled as his hands were holding your hips so tight that you could feel his bitten nails biting at your skin.
“Oh fuck!” you reached back and grabbed at the edge of the counter with both of your hands, arching your spine at the pleasure he was giving you.
“Keep your hips down.” he moaned as he pushed you back down on the counter, with his hands grabbing at your breasts that were now on full display for him.
“Mase I’m so close…” you whimpered, putting your hands on his, and circling his waist with your legs to keep him there.
“I know baby, I’m close too…” he groaned as he watched the way his cock slipped inside of you so easily, “Fuck I think I’m gonna explode baby…fuck. You feel so tight around me…” his face was contorted in pleasure as he looked down at you.
At hearing his words you couldn’t resist anymore. As one of your hands went down to your pussy and started circling your clit under his stare once again, his hips started hitting you at a bruising pace with forceful thrusts. His dick was hitting every nerve inside of your body, it felt like it was made just for you.
“Want me to come inside of you babygirl?” he wrapped one of his hands around your throat to keep you steady.
“Oh yes baby, fuck!” you moaned, “Fuck Mason I’m gonna c-cum!”
As he felt your pussy clench around him continuously, he felt like he was going to faint as he was feeling lightheaded with all the pleasure running in his veins after the buildup he experienced.
“Ooh fuck fuck fuck!” he growled as he came deep into your pussy, leaning his face in between your breasts as he was giving you everything he had, “Fuuuck…” he whimpered as he felt himself slipping out of you.
“Did you run out of words baby?” you lightly laughed as you ran your fingers through his now messy hair.
“I only need a minute to recover…” he said still out of breath from the intensity of his orgasm.
“Take all the time you need,” you told him, “I just wanted you to know that I’m starving really…”
“You could have told me before, I would have fed you babygirl…” he winked at you making you blush at his dirty joke.
“Are you trying to start another round of our game Mount?!” you asked him with a vein of disbelief in your voice.
“I’m always up for our game, you should know that by now.” he made himself clear, “Even more so when it’s been days since we had all night for ourselves…” he softly told you as he helped you on your feet once again.
“Well take me to bed then, what are you waiting for?” you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.
“Wait weren’t you hungry?” he frowned.
“Starving actually…” you whispered against his lips, “…for you.”
Might do a part 2... ;)
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thefanficmonster · a day ago
What’d I do?
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warnings: Swearing (?)
Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Corpse’s wife Y/N participates in a new TikTok challenge. It doesn’t bode well for him, to say the least.
Requested by 🦊🌈 Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your request! I had a lovely time writing it and I hope you have just as much fun reading it and it makes up for the long wait you’ve had to endure. Love, Vy ❤
I blink, cringing at the sting in my eyes which is honestly entirely my fault. I wasn’t able to sleep all night so what did I do - I strained my eyes some more in front of a computer screen, scrolling through some horror story entries from fans that I hope to narrate soon. I also went on the NoSleep and Let’sNotMeet subreddits to try and find some interesting ones where I still currently am at 8 AM.
Over the lo-fi beats I have playing I can faintly hear the shuffling in the kitchen, a tell-tale sign that my wife of a year now Y/N is up an about. She’s an early riser and a night owl and I envy her so much. Although I always attempt to convince her into getting a proper eight hour sleep she always beats down my argument on the base of hypocrisy so I’ve stopped trying to do so.
I read a few more stories before I decide to get up from my chair to stretch my legs. I’m just about to leave my office when...
Oh no....
I stop mid motion, my arm hanging awkwardly mid-air as it was previously reaching for the doorknob but now, much like me, it has second thoughts. 
“Corpse, could you come here for a sec?!“
What’d I do? 
Good question, brain - what the hall did I do?
Now, I’m aware that to some this might seem like one hell of an exaggeration but if you were in my situation, knowing the things I know you too would be freaked the fuck out. What I know is that Y/N never uses my name unless she’s talking about me to someone else, aka in third person. In a year of marriage she’s only ever used pet names to address me or beckon me over to where she is.
Except.....except when she’s upset with me. Except when I’ve done something wrong.
While what I’ve done may or may not be important at the moment, what matters is what I do now to avoid that disappointed glare. Do I just sit here and pretend I’m asleep until she leaves for work? Wait, it’s Saturday, she doesn’t work on weekends. Did she say she has to go grocery shopping or meet up with friends?
Ok never mind, I should probably face the issue head-on and apologize for what I did. But what’d I do?? 
Aight Corpse, time to face the music...
Yeah well the funny part is: my cowardly self ain’t about that shit.
I open the door a crack to peek just my head out. My office door is just a few steps down the hall from the kitchen. I scan my surrounding and my eyes land on Y/N who’s standing by the kitchen island giving me the exact glare I was afraid to see.
“Mornin’ babe....“ I greet her nervously, giving her a small wave, “What’s up?“
“You tell me.“ She says with her hands on her hips.
Oh shit, it’s worse than I thought.
“I-I don’t know?“ I’m aware I made it sound like a question but I believe the more innocent I sound the easier she’ll let me fix my mistake.
“Oh, you don’t?“ That’s when her facial facade cracks and her lips spread in a grin as she picks up her phone, aiming its camera at me. “You sure?”
I quickly connect the dots and come to the realization that Y/N has indeed been spending a lot of time on TikTok lately. This has to be one of those trends or challenges I see on there all the time.
Sneaky little minx....
With that I frown at her, throw up a middle finger and hide back in my office.
I hear her run over to the door and knock. She attempts to open it but I prevent her from succeeding with a sly smirk on my face.
Time to pretend I’m mad at my wife for approximately...hmm...thirty minutes...
“Babe please open the door! I put a sticker over your entire upper body, no one’ll see anything!“ She pleads, still wiggling the doorknob.
“That’s not the point, Y/N!“ I retort as ‘harshly‘ and ‘hurt‘ as I can with a TON of laughter lulling in my chest, “You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!“
She stays quiet and pauses her movements which makes me think she’s given up on the persuasion but she speaks up, telling me otherwise, “I’ll make you chocolate chips pancakes?”
Now that’s simply unfair! How can I remain ‘upset’ with her when she throws pancakes into the question?
To no one’s surprise, I open the door to see her grinning victoriously. The grin doesn’t remain on her face for long though since the second I extend my arms in her direction she knows she’s still in trouble and I’ve brought out my ultimate weapon - tickling. She squeals and quickly takes off running with me chasing after her, knowing she doesn’t really got anywhere to run mwahaha!
Also damn, that’s gotta be a new record! I’ve been pretending to be mad at her for....a whole minute!
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veirsewrites · 2 days ago
Five time stayed with A? I'm a little bit broken from the five times left /lh
Let me offer this: in order to leave you must’ve stayed at one point 🤔 or umm hurt only comes from a place of love? Uhh…
The first time they saw you, on the ground, they wanted to keep walking. No one has ever helped them, why should they help you? But they couldn’t because they’ve felt your pain. So they stopped, they stayed. They picked you up and they listened.
The second time they met you, they didn’t second guess themselves. They wanted to stay, they needed to help. Again, they took care of you because they wanted to. They wanted to be there for you the way no one was ever there for them.
When they were struggling, drowning, they expected no one. That’s how it was and how it would always be. But then you showed up and you stayed. You stayed for them and they couldn’t believe it. That was the third time.
The fourth time meeting was strange and unexpected. The two of you talked and laughed. You shared pain but you also shared happiness. The two of you stayed in one place longer than usual, enjoying your time. And when they did part, it felt like you wanted them to stay. They know that they wish they did.
This would be the end. The last time. They’ve found you once again. As long as you’d have them, they would stay forever. They hoped with all their heart that you’d ask them to stay. Please. Ask them to stay.
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lucianalight · 15 hours ago
Thor Ragnarok wants to talk about colonialism but it ends ups kinda validated it. Because the narrative doesn't want Odin to be bad it places all the blame on Hela it makes seem like she was the real problem. Odin changed but he still did all those terrible things and even if Asgard is nice now it doesn't make up for all the people who lost their land and their lives. But you know it's fine because Asgard not place it's a people.
People criticize Killmonger character for being portrayed in way so the audience doesn't agree with him too much. "Oh no don't challenge the status quo in that way" But by the end of Black Panther T'Challa does call out his dad and it's up to him to be better and help. By the of TR it's not up Thor to atone for Asgard's mistakes. He's just king that's it.
The audience is told Loki being non-interference is a bad thing. Also when Loki asks Thor "What's it feel being lied too?" Its portrayed as Loki being jerk but he has a point. That scene feel like it's their so Thor himself never has to actually question his father. Because that might lead to character growth if he did. Loki's clearly the one who refuses to change.
All of this! TR has nothing to say in regards to colonization criticism. Anything about it is just superficial. And the main issue is the narrative framing. It wants to hero code Odin and villain code Loki. Therefore it ends up with contradictory messages.
You can't hero code Odin, say colonization is bad and blame everything on Hela, but stay silent about the fact that Asgard was holding power over the Nine Realms all of these years. This shows that Odin did not change at all.
And you can't claim you're criticizing colonialism and completely ignore Loki who is a victim of Asgard's colonization and his grievances and him struggling with internalized racism is a direct result of that. And while we're at it how about not frame internalized racism as sth that can be make fun of in a stupid play which the audience supposed to find funny.
Also according to TR, military interventions in other realms is good when Odin does it and putting a stop to it is bad because it's Loki who made that decision. So is colonialism good or bad? Make up your mind.
Agree about Black Panther too. The movie ended up validating part of Killmonger's beliefs, that Wakanda should have done sth and be active in protecting black people. Which was also Nakia's belief. And T'Challa called out his dad and his ancestors for the wrong way they chose.
Something that we never saw Thor doing. He never questioned Odin or came to the realization that Odin made many mistakes. On the contrary he still saw Odin as a powerful guide to him in the end of the movie. No wonder then that he, or the narrative really, never validated Loki, his pov and grievances when Odin still was portrayed a hero in the end.
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queenshelby · a day ago
The Girlfriend Experience (Part Six)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader
Words: 2,567
Warning: Smut, Fluff
Notes: Not based on Cillian’s real life obviously!
After Cillian threw on some clothes, he quickly made his way to the door, letting in whoever he was expecting.
Clearly, he had forgotten about the visit of whoever it was and, with that, he left you behind in the bedroom.
You also were quick to gather your clothes and get dressed but you also remembered that some of your belongings were scattered throughout the living room.
You weren’t sure whether you should emerge from the bedroom to introduce yourself to whoever this was or whether you should hide until they are gone.
Eventually, after about five minutes of pondering on about the issue at hand and knowing that there was plenty of evidence of your presence throughout the apartment, you decided to make an appearance and, when you did, Cillian must have already mentioned that he had company.
‘We are sorry for interrupting’ a man who appeared to be in his forties said before the woman who was with him introduced herself.
‘I am Emily and this is my husband John’ she said with a warm smile but she couldn’t hide the look of surprise on her face and you wondered whether it was the fact that you were there or whether it was because you were quite young.
‘I am Y/N, nice to meet you’ you said, shaking her hand while pondering on about the familiarity of Emily’s and John’s faces.
‘So, how long have you been going out with Cillian? He didn’t mention…’ John began to say before his wife Emily gave him a nudge, indicating for him to be quiet and stop asking questions.
‘I don’t think this is any of our business, is it?’ she then said to him and he was quick to apologise but Cillian responded nonetheless.
‘Not very long actually. A few weeks’ he said before giving you a wink and you couldn’t help but chuckle.
‘And how did you meet?’ John then asked curiously while his wife rolled her eyes at him and apologised for her husband’s intrusive and nosy questions.
Of course, you couldn’t tell them the truth and, nervously, you looked over towards Cillian with a look of concern on your face.
‘We met at a coffee shop nearby. Y/N used to be there most mornings and I asked her out one day’ Cillian was quick to say and, since you don’t even drink coffee, you thought that this was a rather amusing substory and nodded.
‘A coffee shop huh?’ Emily asked. She was a little surprised by the fact that Cillian would have asked a random and much younger woman on a date in circumstances like this but when you played along with his story, she nodded and let it go.
You then talked for a little while and became to realise who Emily and her husband John were. Just like Cillian, they worked in the movie industry and Emily was a well-known actress. Emily told you that she was playing the wife of the character who Cillian was portraying in his new movie and that they had worked on a movie together in 2019 called A Quiet Place Two.
You had heard about it but, since you struggled with scary movies, you admitted that you had never actually seen it.
‘I will most certainly put it on my list of movies to watch now though’ you promised with a shy smile and, just when you were about to suggest that you would head off and let them spend some time together, Emily invited you to lunch.
‘A friend of ours is having a birthday lunch at his holiday home in Santa Fe at noon, you should come and accompany Cillian. It will be fun’ Emily said and Cillian’s eyes widened immediately.
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea. We haven’t really been seeing each other for long and…’ you began to stammer, trying to get out of it after seeing the nervous look on Cillian’s face.
‘It’s a private party and if you don’t want to disclose your relationship there that’s fine. Just introduce yourselves as friends’ Emily explained and Cillian nodded reluctantly.
‘I think it’s fine Y/N. The people who are there all work in the movie industry and maintain a certain kind of discretion’ Cillian pointed out before asking you to join him and, with that, you agreed.
The Birthday Lunch
When you arrived at the large mansion at around noon, you were surprised to see so many people and you wondered who this house belonged to.
There was literally no sight of the man whose birthday it was and you simply followed Cillian around until you felt somewhat comfortable.
You recognised several famous actors and felt somewhat out of place at this event which was something Cillian had clearly noticed.
‘I hate these kinds of events too’ he admitted as he handed you a glass of wine and you felt somewhat relieved when he said this.
‘Is this why you asked me to come along? For distraction?’ you chuckled and Cillian’s smile gave it away.
‘Yeah, that and because I wanted to spend the day with you’ he whispered into your ear just when a tall blonde woman came to say hello to Cillian.
She greeted Cillian with a friendly kiss on the cheek before turning around to face you, waiting for an introduction.
‘Anna, that’s Y/N. She is a friend of mine’ Cillian said before introducing Anna as one of the designers on the set of his new movie.
‘Nice to meet you Y/N’ she said while she scanned you from head to toe, knowing very well that you are more than just a friend to Cillian and you could immediately sense her apprehension and a hint of jealousy.
‘Nice to meet you too’ you said before you watched her talk to Cillian about the movie and, as she did, she was trying hard to flirt with him.
Cillian, however, didn’t seem interested in her at all and, after you watched the situation unfold with some amusement, Emily pulled you to the side.
‘She’s getting her flirt on, isn’t she?’ Emily whispered into your ear and you couldn’t help but laugh.
‘It seems so’ you giggled shyly, which is when Emily assured you that Cillian wasn’t interested in her.
According to her, Anna had been trying to make a move on him for weeks without avail and it had become rather amusing.
‘Your man is quite popular with the ladies on set. Although, I wouldn’t worry about it. He doesn’t mix work with pleasure’ she explained and you realised that this is why he had you.
Eventually, Anna was pulled away by the director of the movie, Christopher Nolan, and you even managed to get a quick introduction to him before this happened.
The truth, however, was that you didn’t know much about movies and, until Cillian explained who Christopher Nolan was, you didn’t have a clue.
‘I don’t fit in, obviously’ you chuckled after you realised that you probably should recognise most of the strangers at this party, but you didn’t.
‘Neither do I, trust me’ Cillian winked before suggesting to you that you both should find a quieter area of the house for a while which is when you nodded and followed him downstairs.
It was obvious to you that Cillian felt a little out of place and quickly became overwhelmed by events like this.
He had been doing this job for over twenty years and had great passion for it, but he hated the publicity. He hated doing interviews and he hated attending galas and events, including events like this.
But, sometimes, he didn’t get a choice and today was one of those days he knew he had to make an appearance even if he didn’t want to.
It was obvious to you that he was stressed and tired and a little on the edge when it came to all of the interactions with people from the industry while, in fact, he was not like any of them.
He was down to earth, reserved and enjoyed his privacy which is what you liked about him the most. He was just like you, a normal person and, with that, you made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
‘Do you want me to take the edge off and relieve some of your stress?’ you whispered into his ear as you reached the downstairs area of the large mansion and watched a group of five people play pool.
‘It depends on what you have in mind’ Cillian said with some ignorance to what you were proposing.
‘Common, follow me’ you said before discreetly pulling him down a small hallway which was leading towards a bathroom you had found earlier that day.
‘We can’t possibly…’ Cillian began to stammer as you pulled him in to the bathroom and locked the door behind you.
‘Relax Cills. I found this place earlier, looking for a bathroom that is not already a total mess. This, clearly, is not being used by anyone. No one comes down this way’ you explained as you pushed Cillian back against the vanity while reaching for his crotch.
‘Y/N, fuck. If someone comes in here…’ he began to stammer but, at the same time, you could feel his erection grow.
‘I read your wish-list carefully and you listed public sex as something you enjoy but not participate in for obvious reasons. Now tell me to stop and I will’ you said as you began to unzip Cillian’s jeans which is when he lost all of his willpower.
‘Didn’t think so’ you winked as you pulled down his jeans halfway together with his black Calvin Klein briefs.
‘You are so hard already too’ you then cooed as you stroked him a couple of times before kneeling down in front of him.
‘Jesus Y/N’ Cillian groaned with approval as you began to stroke his hard cock in your hand again before bringing your mouth forward to the tip of his cock.
With one seductive lick, you collected all of his precum with your tongue and Cillian immediately threw his head back and groaned.
You continued to pump his cock, and felt more precum rise through his shaft before it seeped from his hole which caused you to lick it clean once again.
Cillian’s cock was rock hard now and you cupped your other hand on his balls, and caressed them.
‘Do you have a lot of cum in there for me?’ you asked seductively.
‘Probably…’ Cillian replied dreamily as you massaged his balls and stroked his cock as you leaned forward to lick the tip once more.
His cock stood straight up and after you were done teasing the head, you ran your tongue from the base of his cock up to his tip.
Cillian moaned again and you took him into your mouth and sucked it, making wet, slurpy noises.
‘So fucking good’ he cooed as you began to go faster and harder.
Occasionally, you stopped to kiss the head of his cock and then took it into your mouth again and it was this kind of teasing Cillian enjoyed the most.
You made deep sucking sounds and you moaned around Cillian’s cock, sucking it like it was candy.
Eventually, Cillian’s groans and moans became louder and his breathing became more laboured, which is when he began to pump his cock into your mouth. He pushed his cock all the way to the back of your throat and pulled it out, over and over again.
‘Such a good girl, taking my cock so well’ he cooed as you gagged and sucked and moaned, loving it when he became so dominant with you.
‘Anything for you daddy’ you smirked when he gave you a chance to breathe before pushing his cock back into your throat.
He held it now, deep in your throat. I felt like your head was going to explode. Your eyes filled with tears and the wetness in between your legs was building.
‘That’s it fuck’ Cillian groaned as you pushed your face against Cillian as hard as you could.
Finally, Cillian pulled your head from his cock and you gasped for air, and coughed.
‘Oh, fuck. Your cock…’ you gasped as you grabbed it and began to stroke it once more ‘Oh, it's so fucking good’ you finished your sentence.  
‘You suck my cock so well little one’ Cillian told you in between groans.
‘Oh, I love your cock daddy’ you whimpered before stuck out your tongue again and ran it along the underside of Cillian’s big, hard cock.
Then, once more, you took him into your mouth.
You worked him slower this time, tasting his flesh. Skilfully, you sucked on Cillian’s juicy cock to coax the cum from his balls. His cock tasted delicious and you wanted to taste his cum. You sucked and sucked, moaning as you did.
You ran your tongue down his shaft and over his tasty balls, then back up his shaft to suck him into your mouth again.
‘Oh, it feels so good, don’t stop’ Cillian moaned and you once again began to work his cock harder, sucking and moaning as you pumped it with your mouth while squeezing his balls with your left hand.
‘I am…’ was the last thing you heard from Cillian at this point but, before he could finish his sentence, his cock exploded into your mouth.
His sweet cum filled your mouth and coated your tongue and throat. It ran from your lips and you pulled your mouth off his cock and opened wide, allowing him to fill your throat with his cum.
‘That’s it. Make sure you swallow it all’ he groaned and when Cillian’s cock stopped shooting, you showed him how much of it you had collected in your mouth.
‘So sexy’ he confirmed and, with that, you swallowed before collecting the spillage on your chin with your fingers. You then licked his cum from your fingers and Cillian pushed his cock back into your mouth for you to clean it off.
‘Did you like this daddy?’ you eventually asked and Cillian confirmed that, indeed, he did which is when you heard a knock on the bathroom door.
‘You finished in there? I need to pee’ a man said from outside and your face quickly turned red in a blush while Cillian pulled up his pants in a haste.
You were quick to straighten up your clothes and fix up your smudged make-up before, carefully, approaching the door.
You both knew that you had no choice but to face whomever it was on the other side of the door and, with great embarrassment, Cillian opened it.
Unfortunately, when he opened the door, you saw someone you didn’t ever expect to see again.
‘Robert?’ you asked surprised. Your chin dropped and worry filled your mind.
‘Y/N? Holy shit, I didn’t expect to ever see you again Y/N, specially not at my house’ the man grinned.
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kuromochimi · a day ago
From Yesterday
XXI: Your Truth and My Truth
Suna x Reader smau
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♡ You were particularly fond of collecting antiques and by some twist of fate, you ended up buying an antique box filled with mysterious love letters. Trying to find the person who wrote the letters, unexpected detours and bonds were made. Something more was found. And even more at risk of being lost.
Series Masterlist
Content & Warnings: angst, fluff, alcohol drinking, suggestive (and possibly sexual) themes, college setting, use of curse words, mutual pining eventually. Please tell me if I missed any! Pls ignore time stamps! Excuse my typos too
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When you heard a familiar engine stop in front of your house, you tensed. You were the one who asked to talk but if you were being honest with yourself, you felt like throwing up instead. You were nervous and still shaken and hurt with everything that happened in the past two weeks. But you didn’t want to drag it for longer either. You mindlessly walked out your house and towards suna’s car. He immediately got out once he saw you nearing, he then opened the door to the passenger’s seat, helping you in before he went to his side. And it was quiet. For a while, no one spoke. The tension and unsaid thoughts hung heavy in the air. “So…” suna finally spoke. “Where are we going to go?” Without looking at him, you replied. “Just drive around, if that’s okay” ; “of course, just tell me if you want to stop over of go somewhere along the way” you nodded at him, giving him a go signal to start driving to somewhere neither of you knew.
“Rin.. I’m going to be honest” you spoke softly but without affection anymore. “This, I wouldn’t be here had osamu not convinced me but I guess he’s right. We have to talk a lot about this and whatever it is we have. Or had.” Suna tensed at the words you last uttered. You could visibly notice how his hold on the steering wheel tightened. “And I’m sick of trying to figure it out so tell me. What happened back at your place?” You finally took a peek at him. “I was shocked. I didn’t expect her to come straight to my place and I didn’t know what to do or say. I… felt guilty. And I didn’t want to hurt her because I’m still kinda responsible for what happened to her.” Of course. It was impossible for him to just get over everything but even osamu told you, that you’re not responsible for the things you have no control over. In his exact words “I know suna is still hurt and healing, but it’s not your obligation to fix him. Especially not when you’re breaking yourself trying to put him back together.”
You took a deep breath, preparing to unload weeks worth of thoughts and emotions. “Think about it. How I was on a date with atsumu when I met you. It was supposed to be him but I somehow ended up gravitating towards you. How I bought your box instead of all the other dozen antiques at the sale. And how after two years, mayu finally came back. It’s so.. so mean and what the fuck are the chances for those things to happen one after the other. Doesn’t it freak you out how much all of this is saying that we should just let this go. Whatever this is.” Suna stared at you. Dumbfounded and hurt. To be frank, to suna, what happened wasn’t as severe as you were seeing it. From his point of view, all he had to do was to own up to his mistakes, straighten everything out with mayu, and then he can finally come back to where you two left off before this mess started. “yn, where is all this coming from?” He spoke in his softest voice, one reserved only for you, but not like you knew that. “I just…” he looked at you expectantly, eyes scanning your troubled expression, one he wished he wasn’t the cause of but he knew better. “Mayu talked to me”. What once was a soft expression on his face turned into concern. “And I just want to say that I’m telling you this, not because I want to one up her or any of that petty shit. I’m telling you this because you deserve to know” suna simply nodded, letting you continue.
“Mayu asked me to back off.”
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• Hi T_T I know it’s been nearly two months since I last updates but things just kept happening here and there and I always had to take some time off just as when I was about to be free :/ thank you for waiting!
• 4 chapters to go!
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mistertiberius · a day ago
Y’know the five you wrote about the animal whisperer s/o with the Sinclair brothers? I was wondering if you could do some angst where the reader runs away into the forest to live with their animals and the Sinclair brothers find them holding a funeral for all of the ones who passed.
If not that okay!
Dead Doesn't Mean Forgotten
Sinclair Brothers x GN S/O
Warnings: Funeral for a dead animal
I tweaked your ask a bit because with the way that the two prior parts turned out, I don't feel like Y/n would run off to live in the forest, lol. But Y/n would definitely put together a funeral for all the friends that were lost to both natural or unnatural causes.
*cough* Vincent *cough*
Link to << Part One / << Part Two
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“Hey Bo, ya seen Sweetpea anywhere? I have’a littl’ somethin’ fer ‘em.” Lester called, ducking under the half-raised garage door to interrupt whatever his big brother was doing. Which turned out to be not much, Bo was actually just doing some maintenance on the torture tools that were usually kept on a cart in the room beneath the shop.
“Y/n? Nah, can’t say I have. They not at the house?” The elder Sinclair questioned, pausing his mind-numbing task as his gaze cut to his dirt-caked sibling. “No, tha'was the first place I looked. Then I went ta the museum an' Vincent hasn’t seen'em either.” Lester’s brows furrowed, the beginnings of worry bleeding into his eyes.
“I haven’t talked ta Y/n since this mornin’ at breakfast.” Bo relayed with a frown, carefully setting his favored pair of wire cutters aside before pushing to his feet. The eldest Sinclair hastily brought all his torture implements back downstairs before locking up the basement, then the two left the shop to start their search for you.
“Head back ta the museum an’ tell Vincent to check the town, you take Jonesy ta the pit ta make sure they didn’t go there ta mope again.” Bo ordered, his concern for your questionable safety taking the bite out of his comment pertaining to your potential whereabouts. Lester nodded, starting off toward the mentioned establishment at a jog.
Bo didn’t waste another second, marching into the forest seeing as you had another known hideaway for when you felt overwhelmed and needed a moment to yourself. Bo was pretty sure that you didn’t know that he and his brothers were aware of said safe haven and even knew its location due to Vincent stealthily following you one evening when you had gotten into a screaming match with Bo.
You had stormed out of the house, the eldest Sinclair shouting after you, vanishing into the woodland with tears in your eyes and venom on your tongue. Vincent had told Bo later that you were bitching him out the whole way to your secret spot, which was actually pretty amusing to hear once he’d had time to cool off.
Regardless of how the area was discovered, Vincent had taken Bo and Lester there so they knew where to find you should something like this happen. So here Bo was, trudging through the dense forest that surrounded the town. Eventually, his ears picked up on a voice that was carried by the wind, a very familiar voice.
His pace slowed without his permission, his movements quieting as he began to carefully map out his steps in order to make as little noise as possible. Bo drew to a stop just out of sight, lurking behind a tree. You stood in front of an open grave, your back to him. You held a shovel, the round point anchored in the ground with your hands folded over the handle.
“...to celebrate the life of not only Eleanor, but all the friends that are no longer with us. She was kind and liked to cuddle, which -if you guys haven’t noticed- is up there in terms of favorite activities.” Your laugh was brittle and your voice was choked with emotion, mourning the loss of yet another friend.
Bo frequently wondered why you kept setting yourself up for such pain -emotional or otherwise- he didn’t understand why you cared so much about a bunch of wild animals who probably didn’t give two shits about you beyond getting some of the snacks that you thought you were so sneaky in obtaining from the kitchen.
“I can only hope that Eleanor's last moments were peaceful, that she passed without pain. I wasn’t there for her, in the end.” You had to pause when your voice cracked, Bo taking an instinctual step forward before remembering that he was supposed to be staying out of sight and forcefully stilling his traitorous feet.
“But I’m here now and I think she can rest easy knowing that she’s in good hands, that she’s among friends. I’ll always hold the memories of our time together close to my heart. Rest in peace my sweet Eleanor.” And, with that, you ended the service by pulling the shovel out of the dirt and starting the process of burying the rabbit.
Bo vaguely remembered the long-winded introduction he'd had with said rabbit, which had been colored a light gray. He also recalled that you had been absolutely smitten. Bo's thoughts came to a shrieking halt when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He whirled around with a snarl, grabbing the individual who had their hands on his person and slamming them against the tree that he had been hovering behind.
The red haze flickered and died out completely when he saw that it was only Lester, the youngest Sinclair was watching him with unhinged eyes. Bo felt firm pressure against his inner thigh and looked down to see Lester had drawn his hunting knife and had the sharp edge pressed alarmingly close to certain bits that he very much wanted to keep attached.
Lester followed Bo’s pointed stare downward and balked at his own hand like it had betrayed him. “‘M so sorry Bo, I jus’ reacted.” The youngest Sinclair immediately moved the knife away, returning it to its sheathe. Bo scrutinized his brother for a moment longer, coming to the conclusion that his explanation for the hostile behavior was truthful.
“Pull that shit again an’ I’ll seriously beat the snot outta ya.” Bo sniffed, stepping back as he released the other man. The eldest Sinclair heard a word of thanks from you, both Lester and himself perking up before turning in tandem to find Vincent had taken the shovel from you and was now methodically scooping dirt onto the grave to fill it up.
“You're so sweet, Vincent. I’ll get you something nice when I go into town with Lester tomorrow.” You promise, briefly lifting his mask in order to press a fleeting kiss onto his cheek before readjusting the face covering. Vincent didn’t even twitch at the action, but he did pause his current task as not to disturb your show of affection with his movements.
“That bastard knows what he’s doing.” Bo grumbled, stomping out of the brush with Lester right on his heels. You turned, eyes widening upon seeing the other two Sinclair brothers. “Oh, hey guys. I’m just-” You were cut off when Bo flapped a hand at you, your jaw shutting with an audible click.
“I know. We came to...support. Or whatever.” Bo huffed, arms crossing as he waited for your response. You seemed stunned for a moment, but it wasn’t long before a bright smile curled onto your lips. Bo fought the ridiculous urge to squint as his arms unfolded, seeing the inevitable hug that was rapidly hurtling closer from a mile away.
“I appreciate that. I really do.” And, as expected, you lunged for him. He had to take a step back to avoid toppling onto his ass, wrapping his arms around you with a decidedly fond roll of his eyes. Bo rubbed soothing circles on your back, rocking from side to side in order to give himself something else to focus on other than the fact that his skin was crawling with the contact.
He jolted when you pressed a smooch on his jaw before you pranced over to Lester, unceremoniously throwing yourself at him. The youngest Sinclair squawked as he went down, Bo and Vincent sharing a look when you cackled from your place on top of the dirty man. You were straddling Lester’s waist, smiling widely as you cupped his face.
“Alright, alright. Quit with the mushy shit.” Bo hooked his hands under your armpits to haul you to your feet, sparing Lester a dark look that was simmering with thinly veiled hostility and another emotion that he refused to acknowledge lest he come to a distressing conclusion that he was very much avoiding.
“Aw, Bo. If you wanted me to sit on you, all you had to do was ask.” You tease and the eldest Sinclair very nearly chokes on his own spit at the image that conjures up, his mouth going bone dry as blood rushes south with a speed that leaves him dizzy. “If I wanted your ass on me, I would’ve asked by now.” Bo retorted, stubbornly ignoring how tight his jeans were.
“You got me there.” You sigh, but your grin is back a moment later as you take his hand and drag him closer to the grave that Vincent was doing the final touches on, the masked man packing the loose dirt on top of the grave with the shovel. “Thanks, for being here.” You voice your gratitude loud enough to snag the attention of all three Sinclair brothers.
It’s Lester who responds, and he sums up their feelings on the matter perfectly.
“O’ course, sweetpea. We’ll always be there fer ya.”
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