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cyren-myadd · 25 days

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Can we get a story with spider and one of the recoms getting into a prank war until Quaritch has enough and has to use his dad voice to tell them to cut it out

Great prompt anon!

3k words 🚨TW: foul language🚨

It was taco day in the cafeteria. Quaritch wasn’t really a fan of tacos, but his squad was back in Bridgehead for the day and they needed fuel. Besides, Quaritch had a headache coming on in anticipation of the mind-numbing meeting he had to attend with Ardmore after lunch, so he didn’t have the energy to find any other type of food. So, tacos it was.

Quaritch grabbed a recom-sized plate for himself as well as a human-sized one for Spider, before tromping back to the human-sized table his squad had commandeered. They looked a little ridiculous, squatting on the table which looked like it was meant for children next to them. Despite being the right size to sit in the seats, Spider opted to sit on top of the table with the others. When Quaritch set the tray of food down in front of Spider, he eyed it warily. Spider had grown up in the jungle, presumably eating a mix of whatever the natives ate and dehydrated MREs left behind by the RDA. For all Quaritch knew, Spider didn’t even know what a taco was.

His suspicion was confirmed a few minutes later when Spider asked, “what the hell is that?”

“It’s a taco.” Quaritch replied tiredly. He pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stave off the impending headache.

“I know what a taco is!” Spider said indignantly. “I don’t know what that is,” he clarified, pointing to a serving of sour cream set on the side of his tray.

“Oh,” Quaritch hummed in understanding. Last time he checked, there weren’t lots of places to find sour cream out in the jungle, so it made sense Spider wouldn’t recognize it. “That right there is—”

“It’s ice cream!” Wainfleet jumped in before he could finish his sentence.

“Really?” Spider’s eyes lit up. He didn’t know what sour cream was, but somehow, he knew about ice cream. Go figure.

Even perched atop the table with the rest of the recoms, Spider’s eyeline was so low that the exasperated look Quaritch shot Wainfleet literally went over his head. Wainfleet just gave his commanding officer a shit-eating grin in response. Today was the first day since Spider had “joined the team” that Spider hadn’t cussed someone out or thrown a fit about something. It looked like Wainfleet was determined to keep the streak going.

“Oh yeah, buddy, tacos and ice cream is everybody’s favorite lunch back on earth. Go ahead and try some!” Wainfleet encouraged, barely holding back a laugh. The other recoms glanced over at his words, their lips twitching in amusement at Spider’s ignorance.

Before Quaritch could decide whether or not to intervene, Spider took a huge bite of pure sour cream. His eyes bugged out wide as he gagged on the sour cream, and the whole table exploded into laughter at his expense. The only ones who weren’t laughing were Quaritch, who looked like he wanted an aspirin, or maybe a couple of shots of whiskey if aspirin wasn’t available, and Spider, whose face flushed pink from anger and embarrassment.

“That wasn’t ice cream!” He cried.

“Yeah, no shit! It’s sour cream, dumbass,” Wainfleet wheezed, “oh, god, you shoulda seen the look on your face!”

“I can show him,” Z-dog said with a wicked grin as she brandished her tablet, “I got it on video.”

The whole table howled with renewed bouts of laughter as Z-dog replayed Spider’s hilarious reaction on screen. Now Spider’s ears burned pink to match the rest of his face, the way they did whenever he was about to pitch a fit. Quaritch groaned in anticipation of another day filled with teenage attitude. And the morning had gone so peacefully too.

“You’re an asshole!” Spider yelled. He snatched a taco off his plate and reared back to throw it right at Wainfleet’s bald dome of a head.

“No!” With reflexes that only came from parenting an unruly child, Quaritch managed to grab Spider’s wrist and before he sent the would-be missile sailing at its shiny, blue target.

“But he—” Spider began to protest, only for Quaritch to cut him off with a look. He huffed and muttered something that was no doubt very rude in Na’vi, but wisely decided not to protest any further.

“Alright, that’s enough. Are you soldiers or a pack of fucking hyenas?” Quaritch asked his squad.

Finally, the big blue idiots shut up, their faces ranging on a scale from scolded to shameless. Despite being the one who nearly caused a food fight, Wainfleet looked the most shameless of them all. “Aww, c’mon, boss. It was just a harmless prank!”

“Whatever it was, it’s over. Get your shit together. We have a meeting in ten,” said Quaritch. The look in his eyes was enough of a warning for the recoms to sober up and finish eating.

Beside him, Spider grumbled under his breath again, but this time Quaritch’s sharp ears caught what he said. “A prank, huh?”

A sinking feeling settled into Quaritch’s stomach. Something told him this was just the beginning of a huge headache— one that had nothing to do with the one brewing behind his eyes.

***

The next day, the recoms were out in the jungle to continue their “field training” while they waited for any intel on Sully. To Quaritch’s relief, Spider had been in an uncharacteristically good mood all day, obeying orders and keeping his snarkiness to a minimum. It seemed like yesterday’s sour cream prank had been forgotten. He checked his watch and noted how late it was getting. Well, what do you know? It was almost time to call it a night and Spider had been on his best behavior all day. Maybe today would be the first day without having a Spider-related crisis. The thought made his lips twitch upwards in the barest hint of a smile.

When he heard a muffled scream followed by Spider laughing like a maniac, his smile went away.

“Jesus Christ,” he grumbled as he turned to see Spider sprint into the little camp they’d set up, an impish grin on his face. “What did you do?”

In answer, Spider just laughed even harder. Quaritch was saved from interrogating him by Wainfleet stomping into camp a moment later, effectively answering his question. A huge, furry yellow mass protruded from his mouth, like he’d tried to swallow a cat whole, and in one hand he held a plant that looked an awful lot like a cattail— a cattail with a bite taken out of it, revealing fluffy yellow insides.

It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together, but Quaritch asked anyway. “Wainfleet, what the hell did you do?”

Wainfleet angrily pointed his cattail at Spider like a spear and tried to say something, but all that came out of his mouth was more yellow fuzz. He doubled over, hacking and wheezing around the plant matter. It almost seemed to defy the laws of physics how much fluff kept coming out of his mouth. Just when you’d think there couldn’t possibly be more, another round of the stuff would appear.

Spider was wheezing almost as hard as Wainfleet was from how hard he was laughing. “I told— I told him— it was like a— a— Na’vi corndog!”

“And you believed him?” Quaritch asked Wainfleet exasperatedly.

Wainfleet gave him a sheepish shrug as he tried to spit out the never-ending stream of plant fur. At this point, the rest of the recoms noticed his plight, and soon everyone except for Quaritch joined Spider in laughing their asses off at him. Z-dog whipped out her tablet and started filming. As they laughed and jeered, Wainfleet’s tail whipped behind him and his ears flattened against his skull. He let out another muffled roar and made a violent gesture at Spider like he wanted to wring his neck. The furious look in his eyes wasn’t enough to make Spider stop laughing, but it was enough to send him scurrying behind Quaritch. This move proved wise when Wainfleet lunged for Spider a moment later, and was stopped by Quaritch’s disappointed scowl.

“Alright, that’s enough everybody! We need to secure the camp before dark!” Quaritch barked before turning to Wainfleet. “You, go clean that shit outta your mouth, and you,” he frowned down at Spider, who was trying very hard to look like he wasn’t hiding behind him for protection, “better not start lying to us about what these plants do. I catch you giving us something that ain’t safe to eat again and I’ll beat you ‘til you don’t need those stripes to look blue anymore.”

“Aww, c’mon, it’s not like I gave him something poisonous!” Spider whined. “It was just a prank.”

Just a prank. The sinking feeling returned to Quaritch’s stomach, along with his headache. Why did he have a feeling this wasn’t going to be the last time he heard that?

(A/N: for anyone who needs a visual, this is what happened to Wainfleet: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/JFKAEnIwtLg)

***

It was less than twenty-four hours before the next prank. The following morning, as they broke camp and prepared the ikran to travel, a piercing scream broke the silence. Quaritch was rearranging Cupcake’s saddlebags when he heard the cry and instantly recognized Spider’s voice. He’d never moved so fast in his life. One minute, he was on the edge of their camp and the next he was at Spider’s side, ready to destroy whatever had dared to make him scream like that. His panic quickly turned to anger when instead of a threat, he found Wainfleet guffawing loudly while Spider cussed him out in a mix of Na’vi and English. Quaritch’s fists shook ever so slightly from how badly Spider’s scream had scared him. He’d gotten so scared it made him feel sick to his stomach, only for it to turn out to be another damn prank. A low growl rose in his throat, but Spider and Wainfleet were too wrapped up in their prank war to notice.

“What the hell even is this?” Spider asked as he angrily pulled something out of his sleeping bag: an evil-looking bug that would’ve been frightening if it wasn’t made of plastic.

“It’s a spider, Spider. What, you don’t like it? Why’d you name yourself after something you don’t like?” Wainfleet chuckled.

“You’re such a dick!” Spider reared back to hurl the fake spider at him, but Quaritch snatched it out of his hand before he could. With a snarl, he chucked the hunk of plastic as far off into the jungle as he could.

“Hey!” Wainfleet protested as his toy disappeared into the undergrowth.

Both Spider and Wainfleet turned to look at Quaritch with matching petulant expressions over having their spat interrupted, but the glower Quaritch gave them was so intense all their childish protests instantly died in their throats.

“Ikran. Now.” Quaritch hissed through clenched teeth.

They made the wise choice to say, “yes sir,” and obey him without complaint. Any other answer would’ve ended with somebody getting chucked into the woods after the toy spider.

***

Quaritch made the mistake of assuming his anger at them in the morning would be enough to bring the prank war to an armistice. That evening, Spider launched his counterattack. When Wainfleet went to lay down for the night, he let out a shriek of disgust at finding a creepy-crawly in his bedroll. It was exactly like what he’d done to Spider, except for one important difference. His unwanted visitor wasn’t made from harmless plastic— and neither were its fangs.

“That’s it!” Wainfleet roared after he’d been bitten on the hand by the Pandoran creature. “I’m gonna teach that little brat a lesson!”

Spider started snickering from across the camp when he heard Wainfleet’s furious voice, but he sobered up fast once he realized Wainfleet wasn’t joking about his threat this time. Once Wainfleet started stomping towards him like an angry titanothere, Spider made the smart choice to make himself scarce. He bolted for the nearest cover, which just so happened to be Quaritch’s tent.

Quaritch was in the middle of writing a status report to Ardmore when he heard Wainfleet start hollering and decided to ignore it. He would deal with those idiots later. Unfortunately, “later” came much sooner than he would have liked when he found himself with a sweaty human teenager scrambling over him to hide in the back of the tent. Bony elbows and knees somehow found the most painful places to land, and a dirty foot sent his tablet flying out of the tent.

“Boy, are you out of your goddamn mind?” Quaritch roared.

Spider slunk into the furthest corner of the tent like a cornered animal. “Sorry.”

An instant later, Wainfleet’s head poked into the tent. His eyes glossed over Quaritch like he wasn’t even there and landed on Spider. “Get back here!”

“No way!” Spider snapped back. The two of them quickly devolved into a shouting match with Quaritch stuck in the middle, completely ignored.

“It’s too late to hide now, you little shit! Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it back.”

“You’re the one who can’t take it back! All I did was finish what you started!”

“I didn’t use a real bug!” Wainfleet waved his hand, which had a swollen insect bite on the palm.

“Sounds like you’re just a pussy!”

“You little bastard!”

“That is enough!” Quaritch’s roar interrupted the shouting match before it could get physical. His gruff voice carried a deep authority to it that instantly cowed the two pranksters. Once he was sure he had their attention, he started dressing them down like he should’ve done yesterday. “You two have been acting like toddlers ever since you started this ridiculous prank war and I’m sick of it! Wainfleet, you’re a grown man for Christ’s sake. The boy is here to teach us and he can’t do that if you keep fucking around with him!”

Wainfleet’s ears drooped down in shame and he murmured an apology. Spider smirked at him.

“And what are you looking so smug for, huh?” Quaritch asked, and his smirk vanished as quickly as it had appeared. “Did you forget you only get to stay out here so long as you behave yourself? You gotta be smarter than this, kid. Not everyone is gonna be as lenient with you as I am, and you’ll get yourself in deep shit acting a fool like this. If I was anybody else, your ass would already be back in Ardmore’s custody, do you understand that?”

Spider squirmed in place at the uncomfortable reminder and also murmured an apology.

“You two are done pranking each other, got it?”

“Yes, sir.” They chorused.

“And when we get back to base, you’re gonna scrub down the latrines until they’re clean enough to eat off of.”

“Yes, sir.”

***

Spider cursed under his breath as he scrubbed the filthy toilet before him— a recom-sized toilet, complete with recom-sized skid marks. Stupid Wainfleet, stupid prank, stupid toilet! He braced his arms against the toilet seat to get a better angle for scrubbing, but he was scrubbing so hard that he slipped. Spider squealed in horror as he nearly fell face-first into the toilet. He managed to catch himself and avoid an accidental-swirly at the last second.

“This is bullshit!” He hurled his cleaning rag against the wall with a wet THWAP!

A moment later, Wainfleet peered around the edge of the stall. “Can’t believe I’m saying it, but I agree with you. I’m an elite member of fucking project Phoenix, not some dumb grunt. This is a punishment for rookies.”

“Yeah, and I’m not a rookie. I didn’t sign up to get bossed around by Quaritch. I didn’t sign up for this at all!” Spider threw his hands up in frustration at his miserable situation.

“I know Quaritch is the boss around here, but he oughta have a little more respect for his squad.”

“And a little more respect for me too!”

Wainfleet gave Spider a sly look out of the corner of his eyes. He held up a bottle of shaving cream he’d found in the bathroom cabinet. “Hey, kid… what do you say we knock the boss down a peg?”

Spider frowned as he processed Wainfleet’s words before giving him a sly grin of his own. “What do you have in mind?”

***

Spider barely contained his laughter as he and Wainfleet snuck down the hallway to Quaritch's room. Usually, Quaritch took a brief nap after his meetings with Ardmore, which made him a perfect target for their prank: the classic shaving-cream-on-the-hand trick. The two pranksters peeked into Quaritch’s room and saw him fast asleep on his oversized bed.

“Go on, I’m right behind you.” Wainfleet whispered, handing him the shaving cream.

Armed with the shaving cream can, Spider slunk into the room as silently as a thanator on the hunt. He’d played plenty of pranks on Lo’ak and Neteyam growing up, so he knew exactly how to approach a sleeping Na’vi without setting off their sensitive hearing. Once he was close enough, he saw Quaritch lying with his hand splayed, palm facing up, right next to his face. He couldn’t have asked for a better set up. Spider took a moment to compose himself before filling Quaritch’s empty palm with a big, fluffy dollop of cream. If he laughed now, the prank would be ruined.

After the set-up was complete, Spider turned to Wainfleet, ready for him to finish the job. He wasn’t there. Spider frowned in confusion when he realized that Wainfleet was still standing in the doorway instead of right behind him like they’d planned.

Once Wainfleet saw he was looking, he gave Spider a devious grin and slowly started to close the door. Spider’s jaw dropped as he realized what Wainfleet was doing.

“Wainfleet, no!” He whispered as loud as he dared. Spider lunged for the door, but he was way too late.

CLICK! The sound of the door locking echoed in the quiet room, shortly followed by Wainfleet’s muffled laughs from the otherside.

“Wainfleet!” Spider hissed desperately as he tried to open the locked door.

The next sound he heard was that of Quaritch waking up and realizing his hand was full of shaving cream. His holler could be heard all throughout Bridgehead:

“MILES JAVIER SOCORRO!”

#cyren myadd writes #avatar #atwow #spider socorro #miles quaritch #avatar the way of water #avatar spider #colonel quaritch #avatar fanfiction #ao3 #recom lyle wainfleet #lyle wainfleet

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cxhleel108 · 1 month

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LITG S8 Thots for this week: I love winning!

(Fusebox hasn’t proven me wrong often…damn near at all, but oh do I love when they do!)

• Ok but his body kinda tea I’ll give him that.

• Also do I spy a Libra tattoo??? LIBRA GANG STAND TF UP!!!♎️♎️♎️

• Luna really just want every man in here except her own like damn bitch just give Jin to me since you so open to change😭😭😭

• The spat being us disagreeing on one thing for maybe 30 seconds and then Oakley immediately apologizing to and worshipping me like ok girl, sure.

• Keep trying all y’all want I’m not turning on my man😑😑😑

• We not doing this again uh uh.

• But also…HOW DO WE GET OAKLEY IN THESE??? QUICKLY!

• The fact I was finna deny speaking to Hari and then he brings up that he has intel on my man ugh they know how weak I am help💔

• The intel in question being that he was gonna ask us to go exclusive. WOW! WHAT A SHOCKER!

• Theo what I have to say to you couldn’t take any more than 5 seconds. Stop wasting my time PLEASE!

• Oh yes I love when a man acts “playerfully”…

• It was so obvious that the letter was from our partner can we stop being fucking dumb?

• We didn’t emote enough after reading that letter. I needed my bitch to break out into tears while screaming or something!

• They are arguing over the letter omfggg the day that this villa knows peace, pigs will be flying.

• I busted out laughing at this cuz some of y’all were theorizing that Bea was his sister. Do you know how funny that would’ve been if she was😭

• Oh for christ’s sake can Luna shut the fuck UP? I’m so tired of her getting pressed at Jin being flirty with other bitches as if she don’t do the same exact shit. Ho mad cuz he says Bea might be hot but was just begging Hari to give her pussy a taper fade haircut, girl byeeeee!

• Theo finally manned up and admitted he wants me. Woohoo! Can we move on?

• Outfit time!

• Ngl I thought this was gonna look a whole lot more stupid but thankfully it doesn’t. Now as to why they made accompanying shoes that we couldn’t even put on is beyond me.

• Jin stfu😭😭😭

• IGNORE WHAT HARI AND I ARE DOING BAE IS BACK AAAAHHHHHH😝😝😝

• Yes use the good punani powers to distract him sis exactly!

• I’m seriously so glad I didn’t have to wait 20 episodes to see my bookie bear again like y’all don’t understandddd.

• He just got back and he already being messy helpskdmsmasnd.

• I know they ain’t actually shocked that I dropped the rope during tug of war…I already told y’all I am a one dick woman!

• Figures that Bea is the one that’s actually with my man, yet Luna is the one that’s making me wanna smack the shit outta her.

• Outfit time again!

• Say what you want but they are definitely killing the outfit game this season. Another bad bitch fit!

• The fact we can just tell Hari to shut the hell up so we can listen to the other date awww he really shoulda chose another girl to go after.

• Ok I fucks with you Bea! We love real bitches here💯💯💯

• And the fact Oakley recognizes that we would NEVER play those games oh when I tell you we fucking him real good tonight!

• God why am I so evil😭😭😭

• We actually get a private moment and they didn’t hoodwink us this time omg can we get fed like this more often?

• Oooooo wait clock his tea bae! Cuz that actually don’t make no fucking sense like how you out of practice for 2 years and suddenly you pulling out romantic ass stories just cuz you meet one bad bitch on Love Island?

• Oh lord someone duct tape Luna mouth shut before she start another yap fest.

• To clarify, when I say “you both” I’m referring to Oakley and his donk. Sorry Hari!

• Mind you the stuff that’s supposedly gonna change my mind about him is finna be some shit like “Instead of buying you a box of chocolates, he said he was gonna get you a giant teddy bear and a bouquet of roses and carnations.” Like can y’all cut this shit out it do not be gagging us anymore😕

• Because of course as soon as y’all bring me my baby daddy back you take him away again…

• Welp, loyal girlies I guess it’s time for us to suffer for another 2+ weeks!

#oh well a win is a win #my man is back #that’s all i care about #litg #love island the game #litg tempting fate #litg season 8 #litg s8

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dappersautismcreature · 7 months

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only big actual gripe with q!forever's presidency is bro, dude, how did you not expect that becoming president would mean that people would want different things from you, and that people would argue politics with you? like im sorry but thats literally your job, you can complain and avoid it but i think people have the right to be upset with you if you dont do what they think you were elected to do << to clarify this is q! not cc! and also I think its an intentional flaw being put into the character, i think its interesting as well, its just,, buddy you shoulda seen this coming

#qsmp #liveblogging #q!forever

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hemipenal-system · 5 months

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Whats a felkin?

yeah i shoulda clarified that bc no one ever knows lmao. they’re maybe my fave furry species ever (from a monsterfuckery standpoint at least). they look like this

(feat. ridiculous crop. artists are sunny way, i-psilone, symrea, symrea again, and mirkrali)

i just love everything happening here. they’re fucking huge. knot and also flare. very long fluffy tails. forked tongues. thick fur. mmm.

they come in anthro too but honestly i think the ferals are better and it seems like that’s the opinion here based on how much art there is

#terato #terato blog #nsft #fantasy nsft #furry nsft #felkin #furryposting #answering asks #terato asks #oh my gosh i get to coin a new tag #furry asks

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alex-rambles · 10 months

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I saw you said there will likely be fights with yan Sans so I was wondering if you could write about us getting into a fight with him in hopes we can defeat him and escape? And what would happen during the fight and would he go full on megalovania mode

TW murder and yandere stuff

-Shoulda clarified

-Fights meant arguments

-However, I completely understand if you react to your situation with violence, because hey, many people would do the same

-Sans is not actually super powerful

-One attack and one hp

-What makes him so hard is how his attacks are structured, the addition of "Karma," the removal of invincibility frames, and the ability to dodge

-He'd be an easy one hit if he couldn't dodge like everyone else for some reason

-You could lightly tap him with stick and he'd turn to dust

-Always been odd. Is Sans at like, level negative something? Because even Frisk throughout pacifist has 20 hp, but Sans has just one

-Anyway he'd be scared to hurt you, even slightly.

-He wouldn't even attack, just dodge repeatedly while giving a speech about it being for you.

-It's all for you. He can't lose you!

-He can't lose you!

-He can't lose you

-Not like everyone else

-Not like Papyrus, not like whoever was behind the door (*cough* Toriel *cough*).

-"It's for your own good, I swear! You don't know what that kid's doin' out there! C'mon, y/n, let's just go sit back down, and-"

-You hit him

-Sans is distraught

-If he's dead, he loses you

-He can't lose you. In that case, the best way to keep you is...

-This would be where Sans truly "snaps"

-Because in a moment of panic, he impales you and simply waits for your hp to slowly drain to zero with him

#alex writes #undertale x reader #yandere undertale x reader #yandere sans x reader #undertale sans x reader #sans x reader

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clever-fox-studios · 1 month

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Heh..hehehehehhhe

"What're you doing?"

aHHH--

"It's cold out, put some actual pants on will you?"

I'm fine.

"Let me clarify: put some thakking pants on before you catch cold."

>:v

"Alright, fine, be that way--"

PUT ME DOW--WHY ARE YOU WET???

"Condensation~"

GROSS

"Shoulda put your pants on."

#robot #fnaf oc #azil #security breach au #free runner au #eclipse #solar eclipse #black sun #thirst trap #military grade

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husk-not-whiskers · 2 months

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coke like soda, silly.

prolly shoulda clarified hehe

- @adastarion

“I’m not a fan of carbonated drinks”

#husk hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel roleplay #husk ask blog #husk #hazbin hotel ask blog #hazbin hotel rp #husk hazbin #husker hazbin hotel

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the-gayest-show · 3 months

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Thoughts on the Hazbin Hotel series so far? Episodes 1 - 3 were fine, but 4 - 6, goddamn. Great character dynamics, compelling themes, and music that BANGS harder than Disney can deliver atm. I’m so happy this show is approaching greatness cause Viv is talented when she wants to be.

I've kept this ask in the back burner until I've watched all of the episodes from 1-6, so I have done so and here are my takes!!!

This show is great! Really great! Some of the songs have made it in my head and remained there to this day (I'm looking at you, Stayed Gone), and ngl the 1-3 episodes had great character dynamics from the start, though I feel genuinely like there shoulda been a much better intro to HH in e1. It feels like you just spawned in this world and are expected to know everything. I guess it's made with the pilot in mind but that should be clarified at least.

Episodes 4-6 omfg.

Episode 4 was great, loved the insight into Angel Dust, though I'm not as severely attached to him but it was great regardless. Good shit! The song was pretty good.

Episode 5... what to say about it... I FUCKING LOVED IT OMFG HBISABIEBIBVBWVICSJBEBVWIFOI I don't know why but lucifer is in my brain. he is in my soul. i cried at More Than Anything, I am in the process of making a lucifer video comp because of him. The blorbo ever. Instantly fits all the slots to the "silly traumatized men" category of characters that I love so much. The deisgn, his silliness. His voice. Unmatched. I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT HIM AND HIS ARC YOU SEE!!!! I CANT CONTAIN THE SILLY BECAUSE HE IS SILLY!!! HE FUCKIN ROCKS! I LOVE THE SILLY FALLEN ANGEL!!!

worst part is i can now (more tragically [not]) compare the show to Good Omens and DO. YOU. UNDER. STAND!!!! LUCIFER JUST LIKE CROWLEY FR!!!! I LOVE ME SILLY MEN WITH TRAUMA!! FALLEN ANGEL!!!! *screams*

BRO MAKES DUCKS!!!!! CROWLEY AND DUCKS!!!! BOTH OF THEM WITH DUCKS AHHHHHHHH!!!! LUCIFER IS CANONICALLY DEPRESSED AND MAKES THE SILLIEST JOKES EVER!!! HE'S SO SILLY JUST LIKE ME FRRRRRRRRRRR

episode 6 was great it was pretty good and nice reveal and "you didn't know" goes hard with the "if hell is forever than heaven must be a lie" lyric.

yeah uh that's what i got for now!

#posts #asks #hazbin hotel #TL:DR: I developed a fixation on lucifer moringstar and i NEED bros lore ASAP #*grabs you* HELP. ME.

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aroaceconfessions · 11 months

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anon who suggested peeing when body-horny here:

apologies for any confusion! to specify i meant only peeing when you actually had to and not forcing urself. if you don’t have to then i’d suggest drinking a shit ton of water and doing your best to deal with the sensation until it either goes away or you actually have to use the bathroom. sorry again for the confusion i shoulda clarified ;p

original post

Thank you for the clarification anon!

#sex repulsed #asexual #ace #aspec #acespec

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daddyn3xus · 5 months

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oh no, I’m the holland lop, shoulda clarified 😅 -🐰

Hm. Ok. Well.

I guess I do gravitate toward rabbit yokai when I go out. I don't really have a preference for breeds.

#lee txt #inbox answer #any rabbit is a good rabbit #theyre so soft #and responsive...

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djservo · 5 months

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movie recs w bro auras??

ohhhh you shoulda never asked me this question I think about those things way 2 much.. get your reading glasses on pal it gets real ugly down there

ok firstly want to clarify wit "bro aura" there's "whoa this character is so [bro]" in a singular characterization way n then there's "ohhh this is somethin the bros would do" in a situational way n then there's a more general/subtle yet distinctive vibe like the Pathos n Dynamics of it all... that's how i think of it at least all very convoluted yes but just 4 distinction 🦠 that being said I think these recs are more situational/dynamics rather than than str8 up characterizations bc if i tried listing all the individually sergio or joaquin aura coded movies we'd be here forever and i have a pie in the oven rn i don't have the time!!! ok onward .

Some Like It Hot (1959) — sorry to be corny but it's a classique for a reason!! Tony Curtis is so demure and Jack Lemmon is god's favorite court jester U can't take ur eyes off that man's mannerisms + they both play off each other so well!!! I love dummies stumbling thru silly hijinks!! I'd also recommend Matt Baume's video essay on the making of the film for a TMC #herstory moment

The Odd Couple (1968) — kinda theeee opposites-as-roommates movie, not my fav tbh it's a bit of a slog when Jack's not on screen but worth it if you want like a Cinema Classic Bro (brorigin..) moment that's kinda the foundation for the opposites-as-roomies dynamic

Paul Newman + Robert Redford are the original bros in my heart so Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid (1969) is a must and U might as well (in fact I implore you to) toss in The Sting (1973) to cement the fact that their chemistry is magical even just from the way they look at each other with those freaky beautiful blue eyes man it's like they're telekineticing... telekineticizing... shakspear luv.... I got into cards bc of this card trick Paul's character does ugh truly titillating work...

Rope (1948) inspired by Leopold and Loeb (the original Billy + Stu from Scream if u really think about it) sociopathic buddies with a buttoned-up formality that gives it this smexy polite n repressed edge (don't you love when the killers are true gentlemen!) this film also has a fun gay history so pair with Matt Baume's vid if u end up watching! if you like murder mysteries I think you'll enjoy

all 3 of the movies I did simstober edits based on obviiiii though I feel like generally every other 80s/90s horror movie has bro moments + I'm sure I've even posted a few rando screenshots here if u wanna dig around. I rewatched Re-Animator (1985) last month + almost did that for this year's simstober edit instead 🤭 and An American Werewolf in London (1981)!!!! good ol chummy back n forth right from the start + it also has the best transformation scene Ever (to me).. the Fright Night remake (2011) if u wanna stay in that 'friend comes back wrong' lane (the original is so good too but doesn't have as much buddy interaction if rmbr correctly)... also Lair of the White Worm (1988) which is soooooo fkn fun and worth it for the campiness alone but THAT ENDING !!!! I think about it all the time, it's one of my favs!!

Thelma & Louise (1991) is monumentalllll (lightly referenced in this bro post a couple years ago hehe) if U watch Butch Cassidy u gotta pair these two together, outlaw buddy movie marathon baybee!! & while we're in '91 might as well toss in Point Break ("I know you want me so bad it's like acid in your mouth" bonk) there's just somethin about late 80s/early 90s homoerotic undercover cop/action cheese .. the devastating n overbearing power of friendship(+love) or somethin... something gay was in the water in '91

if u don't mind more of an ensemble film Jason Lee + Jeremy London's characters in Mallrats (1995) are so spot on right down to their stupid conversations + even their outfits and PATHOSSSSS🤌 wise, that general meandering 90s feel ticks the bro aura in my head well BRAIN TURNING TO MUSH god this is getting long but I feel like I'm barely scratching the surface OK buck up (<-me to myself)

situationally Y Tu Mamá También (2001) is prob obvious when it comes to 2 friends getting into a Thing that drastically changes their dynamic (not that that's necessarily the bros .) + Splendor (1991) also fits the 2 guys 1 woman dynamic too but in a sillier way + Araki's style is a treat for the eyes just in general. Hush! (2001) also fits that dynamic but they're actually boyfriends rather than just friends (girl wants one of the guys to get her preggo bc she wants a baby & kinda forces herself into their relationship. me as hell. jk) but it's surprisingly really heartwarming!!! perf for the holidays!! Plan B (2010) is sooo underrated, that's another silly plot where a guy wants to get back with his ex-girlfriend & he hears that her new bf is bi so he tries to seduce the current bf to get him away from her...???? soo fkn silly and fun but Also surprisingly sweet and charming!! I posted about Matthias & Maxime (2019) when I first watched it bc it felt that uncanny... tbqh I'd recommend any early Xavier Dolan to immerse urself in joaquin's early québécois herstory (I totally ripped his backstory from I Killed My Mother not that we would even KNOW that @ djservo's slow ass smh) but this one in particular is soooooo....??!!! just watch it and report back to me . and i'm sorry to say in the year of lord 2023 that The Social Network (2010) is still that bitch to me hand covers bruise I WAS YOUR ONLY FRIEND YOU HAD ONE FRIEND oh my god JAIL TIME mr fincher for making me emotional over BILLIONAIRES !!!

not a movie but I've been sick n wanting something easy on the brain so I've been rewatching Boy Meets World from the start and if you don't already know, I based the bro apartment on Eric + Jack's in s5 and I've finally reached s5 and MAN O MAN!!! goldmine of bro auras through n through honestly cory + shawn have their moments too but literally just watch any eric + jack compilation on youtube (or jump to s5 tbh) to see the vibes it's actually so serious that I've been building an apartment from scratch in my feverish haze to closer resemble their with a working balcony it's soooooo soo gravely serious to me wait what were talking about again

#sry for taking so long to answer j'adore this Q TY!!!#asks

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