#shout out to my bf for the song even tho he doesn’t know my books

[trensu]

Episode 43: The One where WWX is Soft for Children and Bunnies

we're still in the forbidden chamber

wwx has his detective cap on and is being clever

the lan bros are listening attentively as they should be

wwx: jgy is a sneaky conniving bastard blah blah he vandalizes evil music books blah blah

lots of boring plot talk basically

i'm sitting here like, *sigh* so pretty wwx so pretty

which is what i imagine lwj does all the time...

lol wwx goes to lxc and is like, no offense bro but jgy was a skilled spy during the war who was able to infiltrate and memorize wen ruohan's stuff in their secret chamber. invading this one would've been a piece of cake for him

and lxc is like well damn, guess i better test out all this evil music and see if it actually works

lxc: i'll just test the evil magic music on myself. yep. that way no one gets hurt and that couldn't possibly backfire on me at all

lwj: bro

lxc: bro. i gotta do this bro to clear my bae’s i mean friend's name

LOL lxc is like you all see jgy this way but i see him in a totally different way

YEAH WE KNOW, THAT'S THE PROBLEM

LOLOLOL OMG

lxc turns to gaze off into the middle distance and is like, the jgy in my heart is kind and benevolent blah blah

and behind him wwx crosses his arms and all but rolls his eyes LIKE DUDE YOU'RE COMING TO THE WRONG PERSON FOR SYMPATHY. I'M THE ONE THAT GOT KILLED FOR THINGS YOUR BF DID

oh this moment's interesting

lxc is like, can't you allow me to be cautious about making this decision? 

and lwj takes a step towards him, ready to speak but wwx grabs his upper arm and stops him with a shake of his head

the look lwj gives him just before that was like why are you stopping me?

but wwx knows this isn't something you can push

lwj trusts wwx's judgment and holds back whatever he was going to say

i'm curious as to what he WAS going to tell his brother tho

now lwj is leaving to talk to their uncle and lxc is like, sure i'll take your soulmate back to your room for you

WE'RE GONNA GET SOME BABY!LWJ FLASHBACKS SOON OMG

IT'S GONNA HURT

wwx: since lan zhan isn't here, i wanna ask you about something

lxc: tell me

wwx: what are the whipping scars on lan zhan?

lxc: you don't know?

AND THEIR SONG STARTS PLAYING

wwx: i asked him but he didn't wanna say, so i'm asking you

lxc: yeah, if he doesn't think it's necessary he'll probably never talk about it so i'll tell you instead of respecting my little brother's decisions about his personal life

AND OKAY I'M GLAD HE DID BC IT GIVES US WANGXIAN MOMENTS BUT STILL!! 

lxc: do you remember that one time when wn shot and killed your sister's husband?

on the one hand, HOW COULD HE FORGET but on the other hand, he forgets quite a lot of things actually...

lxc: after wq and the others turned themselves in...*cue flashback*

we're at the burial mounds, lwj is standing by himself before wwx's cave facing down a whole freaking squadron of cultivators

su she: *runs his mouth as if we actually care what he has to say*

lwj: *completely unfazed and expressionless* you are not qualified to speak to me

HELL FUCKING YEAH

WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW EPIC THIS MOMENT IS

LOOK AT LWJ OWN THAT ICE PRINCE PERSONA TO STRIKE DOWN AN IMPUDENT ANT OF A PERSON

su she goes to draw his sword AS IF HE HAS ANY REAL CHANCE OF DEFEATING HANGUANG JUN IN A SWORD FIGHT

but jgy shows up with even MORE cultivators and then does that thing where he compliments the person inconveniencing him and takes control of the situation

jgy: oh hanguang jun is so honorable let's not search wwx's secret cave lab right now

BUT THE GREAT THING IS THAT LWJ DOESN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HIS PRESENCE

HE DOESN'T LOOK AT HIM OR SU SHE AT ALL

bc lwj is forever Better Than You.

fuck jgy

jgy: even if wwx is alive, the burial mounds is surrounded so there's no way he could come here without us noticing

he says this to lwj all mildly BUT YOU KNOW IT'S A THREAT

He bows (lwj STILL doesn't acknowledge him and it's GREAT) and walks away

then pauses (bc Drama) and is like oh, almost forgot, your uncle is waiting for you at the cloud recesses. And then he just leaves with all his cultivators

this is when lwj finally looks at jgy (or his back, at least since jgy is leaving)

We cut to the next scene that has lwj slamming the point of bichen in the the stone ground, arm bleeding

HE IS VISIBLY SWEATING AND TREMBLING

lxc: lwj made a mess and fought against everyone there

AND WE SEE LWJ FALL TO HIS KNEE, ONE ARM USING BICHEN AS SUPPORT WHILE THE OTHER RESTS ON THE GROUND

but the fall was gradual and jerky, like he was fighting it the whole way down. 

As if the only reason he fell is bc he's used up every ounce his strength and energy he had in his body

lxc: uncle burst into anger and took him back home, punishing him with 300 lashes and repenting in the cold pond cave for 3 years

we cut to the cloud recesses, camera shot from above making lwj, who is kneeling before his uncle and surrounded by disciples, look small AS ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING ON THE CELLO 

his uncle orders them to start beating lwj

AND LWJ TAKES IT LIKE A CHAMP

he barely moves with each strike and MAN THAT DISCIPLE IS NOT HOLDING BACK

oooh, we see him do that fist clench thing which looks even more painful without bichen to grip tbh

dude lwj is clenching his jaw so hard. 

like, he refuses to cry out in pain and it's gotta hurt bc he's bleeding already

lqr: what is rule 52 of the lan clan?

lwj: do not befriend evil

NO HESITATION. SAID IN A STRONG FIRM VOICE

AS IF HE WASN'T CURRENTLY GETTING BEATEN WITH A NIGHTMARE STICK

and lqr is all you have forgotten the fundamental laws of our clan, how can you have the nerve to face your ancestors like this!!

BUT LWJ IS NOT HAVING THAT

HE'LL TAKE THE BEATING BUT HE'S GOING TO MAKE HIS POINT

lwj: i dare ask you, grandmaster, who is right? who is wrong? what is black? what is white?

Bc our boy has learned! He’s learned NUANCE and CRITICAL THINKING and the existence of GRAY AREAS

BC WTF IS THE POINT OF ALL OF THESE STUPID RULES IF THEY DON'T PROTECT THE INNOCENT AND DEFENSELESS?

Bc his soulmate was right all along and he didn’t stand by him when he needed him most and now his soulmate is gone. His soulmate is gone. He’s GONE.

I'M GONNA MAKE MYSELF CRY

lqr: perfect! that's my good student

he does not say this happily. he is in fact SHOUTING this VERY ANGRILY

and here i wanna say, hey lqr, what's that rule about excessive noise...?

cue lwj's fist clench again, which sounds just as painful as the beating tbh

lqr: wangji, you have disappointed me

NOT AS MUCH AS YOU AND YOUR DAMN RULE-BOOK HAVE DISAPPOINTED HIM, YOU JERK

and here we see an ACTUAL VISIBLE SCOWL on our beautiful hanguang jun's face as he continues to be beaten

HOW ANGRY AND TORN UP MUST HE BE TO ACTUALLY SCOWL LIKE THAT??

cut to lwj kneeling at the ice table thing in the cold pond cave, robed in white and face blank but somehow still projecting an aura of cold fury

probably bc the rulebook open in front of him says "eradicate evil, establish laws, and goodness will be everlasting" and he knows that’s bullshit now

but actually this scene is visually very beautiful. 

It’s all in misty shades of pale cold blue and white and everything’s spaced out in a way to emphasize how very very alone lwj is

cut back to the present with wwx and lxc

wwx grips his flute with both hands and looks down like he can't believe what he's hearing

lxc: when lwj was imprisoned i tried to persuade him...but he told me he considered you his confidant soulmate and believed in your integrity

wwx: why would he bother…?

his brow is furrowed and his voice is soft like he truly doesn't seem to understand why lwj would bother to do all that

and on the one hand i wanna scream IT'S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, YOU MORON

but on the other hand, everybody else in wwx's life, everyone else he loved, turned on him or died 

and he probably truly believes he deserved all that, and that he is undeserving of lwj's unwavering faith

and then i cry

lxc: do you know what this place is?

shot of the entrance to the silence room aka the jingshi aka lwj's room

wwx: i don't

lxc: it's where our mother lived

wwx is hanging off his every word

lxc: you might find it strange that the wife of the clan leader didn't live with her husband in the frigid chamber

with a name like that i wouldn't want to live there either...

lxc: you might know that our father used to isolate himself for years, not caring about anything...

Not even his sons, apparently!

wwx: i do

and he explains that his father isolated himself bc of his mother or whatever

lxc: this place was more of a prison than a home

It was his mother’s prison. When did he figure that out? Was it when HE WAS STILL A KID??

DID HE FEEL GUILTY FOR SPENDING TIME WITH HIS  MOTHER KNOWING SHE WAS LOCKED UP AGAINST HER WILL??

THE LAN FAM IS SO FUCKED UP OMG

now he's telling us the whole tragic love story

it was love at first sight, he says and wwx is like ah yes, a typical romance

and lxc is like, uh no, she didn't love him back and she murdered his teacher, idk why tho

lxc: but i guess it's all about right and wrong, love and hate

Which is a major theme of the whole show, tbh

OH DAMN

now he's telling wwx about how his dad took his mom to cloud recesses and married her against the clan's approval and that he told them that this was the person he would love for a lifetime, that “whoever tried to drive her out would have to go through him first"

DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR TO YOU, WWX?

RINGING ANY (WEDDING) BELLS?

DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING AT ALL, WWX?

"after the wedding my father built this house, and locked my mother up"

lxc says this all so calmly and gently, as if he were reading from a story book rather than reciting his immediate family's history

Which is probably a coping mechanism, tbh

this fam is so fucked up, have i mentioned?

lxc: do you understand why my father did all this?

wwx: *nod*

lxc: and do you think he did the right thing?

wwx: i don't know

well, i mean, he married her and locked her up against her will

granted she did murder someone but i get the feeling she probably had good reason to

and now he's telling wwx that they basically had no parents bc they were given off to others to raise them until they were old enough to attend their uncle's lessons

FLASHBACK TO BABY!LWJ READING TO HIS MAMA FROM A LAN CLAN BOOK

HE'S SO CUTE AND TINY AND HIS MAMA IS SO SOFT AND PRETTY. 

SHE LOOKS AT HIM WITH SUCH LOVE, AND RUNS HER HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR SO GENTLY

lxc makes a point here to say that their mother never complained about her imprisonment or how painful it must've been to be trapped like that

BC THEIR MAMA LOVED THEM

lxc: lwj never said anything, but i knew he looked forward to the day we visited mother every month

HOW AWFUL IS THAT, TO BE RESTRICTED TO ONE DAY A MONTH TO SPEND WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE???

Lxc: he did (look forward to seeing mom). and so did i.

cut to baby lwj kneeling in the snow, all little and by himself IN FRONT OF THE JINGSHI, AKA HIS MOM’S PRISON AKA PROBABLY HIS FAVORITE PLACE IN ALL THE CLOUD RECESSES

lxc: one day, uncle told us that we didn't need to go there anymore. mother had gone.

I'M GONNA CRY

HE'S SO LITTLE AND SAD AND HE'S KNEELING SO STILL WITH HIS TINY HANDS IN HIS LAP

like even lqr is moved bc he goes and puts a hand on his shoulder

lxc: we were too young to understand what that meant.

lxc: no matter how others consoled us or how uncle scolded him, lwj still came here every month. he would sit on that porch and wait for someone to open the door.

I'M SOBBING

LWJ HAS SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE WAITING FOR THE PEOPLE HE LOVES

He’s kept himself still and stalwart ever since he was a kid so that if his loved one chose to come back, he’d still be there for them 

I'M HURTING SO MUCH

HE JUST WANTED THEM TO COME BACK AND THINK HE WAS WORTH STAYING FOR. 

GOD I HATE CRYING. I'M A SNOTTY MESS RN

Lxc: when we got older we realized that she would never come back. that no one would ever open the door for him. but he still came.

FUCK

GOD DAMN IT

STOP HURTING ME SO MUCH, WHAT THE HELL

lxc: lwj has always been stubborn since he was very young

lxc: back then, he watched you learn crafty tricks. he didn't say anything, but i knew...that the pain and confusion in his heart was the same as what he felt for our mother

MY GOD, JUST BEAT ME WITH THOSE NIGHTMARE STICKS INSTEAD. THAT WOULD HURT LESS THAN THIS.

wwx's eyes are all red-rimmed and his brow is all pinches and HE JUST SWALLOWED BACK THE LUMP IN HIS THROAT

THE SAME ONE I HAVE RIGHT NOW AS I CRY AND CRY AND CRY

and lxc is like, well, that's enough intense conversation for now, imma do a flute solo

~flute sounds~

and now he's like i tried to persuade lwj before but now that i'm in his shoes it turns out making a decision isn't actually easy to do?? who'd have thought?

oh here comes lwj, all straight-backed and regal as always but no jewelry in his hair! no topknot! he looks so different this way

AND HE HAS TWO JARS OF EMPEROR'S SMILE WITH HIM

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING AGAIN

oh, the way he holds it out to wwx, like an offering at an altar...

cut to inside the jingshi, we get to see him uncap one of the jars and pour a drink out for his soulmate. 

like, the camera is specifically focused on his hands

which, hey, i’ve seen the tags ppl, i know some of you are Into That so take the time to enjoy this

then we get a shot of all of him and he looks so so soft and exposed and vulnerable  here?? with his hair down in his own room, pouring a drink for his wei ying

it's beautiful

wwx walks in and watches as lwj starts to pour himself a cup of tea

THIS IS A LOT. 

~Their Song~ playing sweetly, no other sounds except the quiet clinks of the cups and teapot. And all of lwj’s actions are just...light

wwx: lan zhan…

GOD I JUST WANT TO SCREENCAP THIS WHOLE SCENE

the shot of lwj here, while he’s focused on pouring his tea. 

the way his head is angled and the wisps of his hair frame his face. 

he takes up a good portion of the screen without seeming domineering or forceful, just...peacefully existing in the space

and then we cut back to wwx's face, his mouth open as he takes a breath 

He wants to say something, anything, but you can see on his face that he can't make the words come

Like he doesn’t want to disturb the moment with whatever he was going to say, bc it’s a fragile moment

and then this brief literally-2-seconds shot of lwj to the right, sitting at the table 

the table is set up so beautifully with the jars of emperor's smile and their cups. and he's looking up and the lighting AND AHHHHHH

IT'S JUST A VERY BEAUTIFUL TWO SECONDS AND I'VE STARED AT IT FOR MUCH TOO LONG ALREADY

lwj: what?

and wwx can't even really return his gaze. he looks just as vulnerable here but, unlike lwj, he also looks awkward, like he’s nervous in his vulnerability same ,wwx, same

wwx tries to say thank you but it comes out stuttered and soft while lwj watches him patiently

wwx mumbles to himself "it's awkward to say it out loud" and his eyes flicker back and forth for a second as his mouth pinches, agitated 

BC IT IS MEGA AWKWARD

FEELINGS ARE AWKWARD

AND AS LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS WWX CAN BE, IT'S NEVER ABOUT HIS FEELINGS.

wwx: *clears throat* i mean...the burden on your brother's shoulders is tremendous

smooth transition, wwx, very smooth

but at least it allowed him the chance to sit at the table with lwj

wwx: after all, jgy is his sworn brother. if i were him...

he trails off awkwardly and it feels even MORE awkward bc the background music just ends suddenly and it's silent for us, the audience

lwj doesn't say anything and instead gently moves the cup of wine towards wwx.

once that's done he says "if there's evidence, my brother won't tolerate it."

but he doesn't look at wwx and his face is somber

wwx: that's true. he's got his principles

finally lwj looks at him

lwj: you didn't tell him.

wwx: tell him what?

lwj: about the flute on qiongqi way

wwx: you know about that?

lwj: i asked wen ning. he said he heard a second flute

wwx: i thought i was hearing things until nightless city *insert flashback here*

cut to next scene. wwx is standing just outside the jingshi doors with a jar in his hand as it snows

lwj steps up next to him and ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING

they're still talking about the flute and how wwx is confident now that there was a second one used to frame him basically. he's quietly angry here.

lwj immediately says it was jgy but wwx responds with "maybe, maybe not"

lwj looks at him, "you don't want to know the answer?"

bc lwj does. he wants to know who framed his soulmate, causing the suffering that lead to his death

wwx: at first i really wanted to but now i just want to say, 'whatever. screw it!'

he says with a laugh and then takes a swig from his wine jar

wwx put down that wine jar, you've obviously had too much already.

wwx: lan zhan, i actually think whether i know the answer or not won't be of much importance for me. after all, in ppl's minds, the yiling patriarch did bad things. even if i expressed my grievances, people still won't trust me

and he smiles

MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY

He says, "Sometimes the world only needs an excuse or target that everyone can hate"

PAINFULLY TRUE

and then he says something along the lines that it doesn't matter, if he wasn't made the target, someone else would have been

BASICALLY HE'S JUST VERY DISILLUSIONED HERE 

THE WORLD SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED FOR DISAPPOINTING HIM

now we hear the sound of a guqin playing ~Their Song~

lwj at his guqin playing their song to soothe his soulmate

wwx: *voiceover* i was lonely back then. the few who believed in me were dead, wen ning, jyl. Luckily…

and here we get the crescendo of the opening theme as we cut to lwj. 

the voiceover changes from wwx to lwj

lwj: in this world, there is still someone who trust you

I'M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW

voiceover switches back to wwx and we get a shot of wwx watching lwj play

wwx: lan zhan, i toast to you. i'm glad to have one true friend

SO MANY FEELINGS

and then i get distracted as wwx does that thing where he pours wine into his mouth and spills half of it down his VERY INDECENTLY EXPOSED THROAT

shot of lwj thinking: for nothing else but a clean conscience

shot of wwx thinking: no matter how they slander me, i know i have a clean conscience

EVEN THEIR THOUGHTS ARE IN SYNC OMG

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS STILL PLAYING BUT NOW IT'S THE GUQIN AND THE FLUTE COMING TOGETHER

wwx gazes tenderly at lwj and whispers: lan zhan. i'm sorry...and thank you

AND WE GET THE ACTORS’ VOCALS ADDED IN TO ~THEIR SONG~ AS LWJ LOOKS UP AND SEES WWX WATCHING HIM

AND I'M HAVING SO MANY FEELINGS

I WOULD LIKE TO GET DISTRACTED BY WWX'S INDECENTLY EXPOSED THROAT AGIAN PLZ

cut to the next day with lxc meditating and our boys hiding behind a privacy screen

lwj is in perfect posture, eyes closed and meditating calmly while wwx keeps listing to the side and jolting awake bc meditating IS FOR NERDS

lol except this time he lists to the opposite side and falls into lwj's shoulder with a cute little gasp

lwj gives him a look and wwx quickly arranges himself into a sloppy lotus pose

jgy walks in and our boys are immediately on alert peeking through the privacy screen 

(which actually isn't all that private. you can see through half of it??)

now we get a moment for lxc and jgy in which jgy returns the jade token and it’s, like, a Thing

BUT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM

LET'S SEE OUR BOYS' REACTION TO WHAT JGY HAS TO SAY

wwx is watching lwj as jgy says something about how they don't have info on lwj and wwx yet and lwj closes his eyes against the news

i think he's upset he's placed his brother in this position...

now we're informed that there are active puppets in the burial mounds

lxc is like, well it can't be wwx bc he was stabbed

and jgy is like he's been stabbed before and controlled puppets alright then!

meanwhile wwx behind the screen scoffs and thinks "they think too highly of me"

also, like, jgy was trying to get lxc to give them up by saying how lwj would be safe bc of his great reputation

Honestly, it really just goes to show that these people don't actually care about your actions. they've made their assumptions and they'll stick to them no matter what and IT'S SUPER FRUSTRATING

plot talk plot talk sworn trio moment plot talk

now lxc is off to carp tower while our boys prepare for a field trip to the burial mounds

LIL APPLE AND THE BUNNIES!!

our boys are by a stream and there's bunnies all over the place and wwx is telling lil apple they're leaving

~THEIR SONG~ STARTS UP AGAIN

AHHHHHHHHH, LOOOK!!! THERE’S TEENY TINY SMILE ON LWJ'S FACE AS HE PUTS DOWN BICHEN TO PICK UP ONE OF THE BUNNIES

EVERYTHING IS ADORABLE

WWX GETS THAT LITTLE MISCHIEVOUS SMILE ON HIS FACE AS HE GOES TO POKE THE BUNNY

AND HE MAKES SILLY NOISES AT IT AND IS ALL INSULTED THAT THE BUNNY DOESN'T REACT

SO CUTE!!

wwx: see? they only like you *pout* they're only loyal to their owner

so lwj wordlessly hands over the bunny BC IF HIS SOULMATE WANTS BUNNIES, HIS SOULMATE IS GETTING BUNNIES

the bunny wriggles and wwx is like "don't try to run. you can never run away from me. stay here bunny!"

IT'S SO CUTE I'M GONNA DIE

HE'S JUST PETTING THE BUNNY ALL OVER AND USING A PLAYFUL VOICE WHILE TALKING TO IT AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL

Don’t be jealous of a bunny don’t be jealous of a bunny don’t be jealous of a bunny

wwx looks over to lwj: lan zhan, it's so strange. i know we're going on a dangerous mission but i don't feel scared at all

then he goes back to the bunny and wiggles it around SO CUTELY: do you think it's strange too? what do you think?

AND HE'S GOT THE BIGGEST SMILE

lwj: it's getting late. let's go

wwx: okay *pets bunny* little bunny, we're leaving~

THIS SHOW SHOULD ONLY EVER BE ABOUT BUNNIES, I'VE DECIDED

BUNNIES DON'T HURT ME 

now we cut to them at the entrance of the cloud recesses

lil apple is being stubborn and the bunnies are on the steps

wwx: they hate to see you go.

and wwx looks at lwj all playfully

wwx: i never thought that hanguang jun would be so popular among the little animals

and then he finishes with AN ADORABLE LITTLE POUT: bc i'm not

lwj: why not?

wwx: all little animals regardless of their habitat run when they see me. isn't that right lil apple? *proceeds to bully the donkey*

lwj: *walks off bc he does not condone animal abuse or smth*

wwx: wait for me hanguang jun!!

NOW WE'RE ON A DIRT PATH

LWJ IS HOLDING THE LIL APPLE'S LEAD WHILE WWX RIDES LIL APPLE

HE’S PLAYING HIS FLUTE AND THEN STARTS PLAYING ~THEIR SONG~!!!!

AND LWJ LOOKS TOWARDS HIM HIS EYES ALL TENDER AND FULL OF LOVE

WWX IS SMILING WHILE HE PLAYS

EVERYTHING IS STILL WONDERFUL

LWJ HAS ONE OF HIS ALMOST-SMILES ON HIS FACE

wwx: lan zhan, i wanna know, back in the murder turtle cave, what was the name of the song you sang to me?

lwj: why do you ask?

wwx: just tell me the name. i think i've figured out how you recognized me

wwx: tell me what song it is. who's the composer?

lwj: me

wwx: so you composed it?!

lwj: hm

wwx: what's the name then?

THIS IS SUCH A CAREFREE PLEASANT CONVERSATION AND I LOVE IT

lwj: what do you think?

wwx: you're asking my opinion?

he gets this huge smile on his face and giggles

wwx: i think i'll call it...

lwj: i'm thirsty, let's look for water

IT'S RUDE TO INTERRUPT LWJ

they find a random house and wwx proceeds to steal a melon

but they're interrupted so they hide like the CRIMINALS THEY ARE lol

and we see mr & mrs mianmian with little mianmian!!

mr mianmian is all if you run off again the yiling patriarch will eat you!

little mianmian is like I'M NOT SCARED, mama says the yiling patriarch doesn’t bully good people

and that's how mianmian and her husband and daughter get guaranteed invites to their future wedding

we cut to wwx and lwj 

wwx is nodding enthusiastically like THAT'S RIGHT, I DON'T HURT INNOCENT PEOPLE, IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT'S ACKNOWLEDGED

ohhhhh really liking how mianmian draws her sword and demands the criminals to show themselves

Lol, she's like WHO'S THERE? and wwx literally answers, UM, NO ONE??

lwj purses his lips like, really?? and comes out of hiding

Mianmian is shocked to find hanguang jun hiding on her property obvs, but is also excited to recognize wwx

wwx: *internally* why does this lady know me?? did she have a problem with me or did i provoke her??

then wwx recognizes her!! he's very excited about it!

and we end the episode on a high note there!!

We get to see the only functional, happy (and alive) marriage in the entire cultivation world!!

And yeah, we got our hearts torn out by kid!lwj but we were rewarded with soft domesticity AND bunnies right after!!!

Overall good quality wangxiantics

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

[mvssmallow]

CWAC: Chapter 29 Part I (temporary re-upload)

Cloudy With A Chance

Chapter 29 Part I: …of airplanes.

Masterlist

Day 0

“You what?”

“I need to go to Japan.”

He stares at Hanbin’s back, waiting waiting waiting for the next reaction with a racing heartbeat in his throat.

“It’s three days till Christmas.”

“I know.” He says with a tired sigh. “They want to meet a producer over there. It’s the last time he’s free before he goes on hiatus with his family for a month. They want to get a lock on him before I start on the album.”

Hanbin stops cleaning his desk and turns around to face him. “When do you leave?”

“Now. Today.” He says, even more exhausted at the thought of having to pack for the airport. “Jin booked our flights already. The cars coming over in half an hour.”

Hanbin nods then and half shrugs. “Yeah okay.”

He’s a little taken aback, unsure what he was expecting but some part of him thought (hoped) that his absence would be more upsetting. He didn’t want to make them sad and miserable but there are times where he just craves some kind of evidence that he’s important in Hanbin’s life.

“So you’re okay with this right?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s your job now.” Hanbin moves past him to open their drawers and rummage for the passports kept there. “Which backpack do you want to take with you?”

He feels oddly blindsided by everything that’s happened this afternoon. The sudden phone call. The impromptu flight. Hanbin’s blasé response. His internal dissatisfaction.

“Jiwon? Which one?”

“Um, the blue one.”

A blue camo print backpack is thrown on the bed and his passport is tucked into the front pocket. He watches as their wardrobe doors slide open and Hanbin pauses to survey all the pre-ironed t-shirts just hanging there.

“Do you want me to help you pack?”

No, I want you to miss me when I leave.

He can’t say that out loud so instead, he settles for: “Yeah, if you’re not doing anything.”

Hanbin scoffs. “What else would I be doing right now?”

They pack with quiet efficiency. Well, he watches Hanbin pack with quiet efficiency, the tense stillness only punctuated by Hanbin’s short questions and his own single word answers. It makes him want to yell really loudly or say something stupid.

But the hour’s almost up. The car will be here soon.

“Wait a minute.” He’s checking the contents of the backpack with a frown, pushing phone chargers and socks out of the way but still not finding the thing he wants. “Where’s your Snoopy t-shirt?”

Hanbin looks at him with confusion. “Snoopy? That shirt is so old. Don’t you want one of your newer-”

“No.” He shakes his head, suddenly pissed off for some reason. “I need that one.”

It comes out harsher than he wanted it to but if picking a fight is the only way he’s going to get Hanbin to react then he’ll play dirty for once.

But Hanbin just goes and looks for the damm t-shirt without saying anything. It drives him insane and he can’t really remember a time he was this frustrated about Hanbin’s selective mutism.

“Here.” A soft and greying t-shirt is held out towards him. “Are you going to wear it out? It’s so old. It’s seriously getting holes in the sleeves.”

He takes it and tucks safely into his backpack. “No. I’m not going to wear it out. I just want to take it with me.”

“Okay.” Hanbin says slowly, eyes suddenly piercing into the side of his face like they always do when they’re trying to read his mind.

The phone in his his pocket starts buzzing and ringing then. Great timing as always. The car is downstairs to pick him up.

“I gotta go.”

Hanbin walks him to the front door and watches him put on his jacket and tie up his shoelaces.

“So umm, I guess I’ll see you when I get back?” He says, prepared and resigned to leave with just a brief kiss. Who knows how affectionate Hanbin is feeling right now.

“Message me when you land? And when you go to sleep.” Hanbin instructs, his voice shaky and watery for a split second. “And when you’re packing again too, so you don’t forget anything.”

He cracks the first smile of the day. “Yeah, I’ll just message you everything okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Then he sees it; the slumped shoulders, the downcast eyes that never meet his and the subtle frown pulling at the corners of Hanbin’s mouth. He can feel fingers playing with the straps of his backpack, even though there’s nothing to fix or adjust.

Well, finally.

“Come here.” He says softly, pulling at Hanbin’s t-shirt and relieved when there’s no resistance at all. Just a sigh.

He’s going to write a song about this one day. He knows it. This exact feeling whenever he pulls Hanbin’s slightly smaller body into his, the initial thrill of butterflies followed by the deep warm ache that comes from something so good, so unbelievable, so comforting, so his.

“Gonna miss me?” He asks. Fuck subtlety, he needs to hear the words sometimes.

There’s a nod against his chest that makes him want to laugh. Typical Hanbin.

“Say it baby. I wanna hear it.”

“Jiwon….” Hanbin whines.

“Baby..” He echoes with another laugh. “You’re gonna make me late if you don’t say it. I’m not leaving till you do.”

There’s more protesting and he can feel the outlines of Hanbin’s face as it tries to bury itself further into his chest. “Illmissyou.”

“What was that?”

Hanbin looks up at him then, all big doe eyes, long eyeslashes and static in his hair. “I’ll miss you.”

“You better.” He says with a relieved grin.

They don’t kiss for half as long as he wanted them to but it’s long enough for the phone to buzz in his pocket again.

“Ahh shit. I really have to go.”

Hanbin’s clinging onto him now, he can feel the slight panic and desperation in the way those fingers dig into his arm. He wonders if it’s wrong to want Hanbin to be like this all the time. It probably makes him a sadist or something but truthfully, nobody has ever needed him before and it’d be nice if that happened at least once in his life.

“Okay, well. I’ll message you when-”

“-I love you.”

It is so quiet against his own voice but he still hears it loud and clear.

Does he stop breathing? For a second? Or a minute. One of those. He’s not sure which one. The backpack is dropped to the ground and he holds that beautifully nervous face in his hands for so long that his phone buzzes in his pocket for a third time and he has the fleeting though that his Beatbox team should just go to Japan without him.

“Fuck, Hanbin.” He says in hushed disbelief. “Why did you have to say it right now? Worst timing ever. Shit, how am I supposed to leave?”

There’s the most sheepish of shrugs that makes Hanbin look even smaller. Maybe small enough to fit into his backpack.

“I really need to go but fuck, I’m gonna miss you so much. You have no idea. I haven’t even left and I miss you already. Wanna come with me? Please come with me?”

Hanbin laughs at his dramatics before leaning up to kiss him in that infuriatingly slow and sweet way that satisfies every empty part of his soul.

“Mmmmlove you.” He murmurs against those soft lips.

“I know.” Hanbin says with a smile before pushing him away gently. “Go to work. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He doesn’t bother hiding his sigh as he picks up his backpack. Every step outside their apartment door is harder than the one before it. He looks at Hanbin leaning against the doorframe in that old disneyland t-shirt, his hair is a mess, cheek flushed and there’s some kind of wistful bittersweet look on his face.

He loves him more than he loves his entire life.

It’s a crazy thought that he’d only read about or seen in movies, believing for all these years that they were unrealistic, impossible and overdramatic….until now.

“Don’t do anything stupid!” He shouts from down the corridor.

“Can’t anyway. My stupid is going to Japan!” Hanbin shouts back.

****

It’s weird.

Too many years spent on a diet of Linklater movies, Murakami books and songs about longing has got him expecting something that never comes. He expected to feel some big gaping hole when Jiwon left for the airport but he doesn’t.

Of course he misses him. He misses him a lot.

But that hollow melancholy that he felt when they broke up isn’t there. Which is good he supposes, he doesn’t want that feeling back. Ever.

It doesn’t really feel like Jiwon went anywhere though. He’s been gone for barely 20 minutes before the first of the texts come. It makes him smile like an idiot.

[did we pack snoopy?xj]

[Yeah we did. He’s in there. Don’t worry. hx]

He thought it’d end there until Jiwon lands in Japan but there’s another buzz of his phone after a few minutes.

[did we pack my passport?]

[YES omg]

[did we pack the killr bees]

[Yes. We packed everything you wanted. Stop asking me. Lol.]

[im bored.]

[Its been like 20 minutes.]

[Yeah I kno. Then we have to wt at the airprt]

[Your life is so hard. Poor baby.]

[Haha am I your baby now?]

[Idk, I have to check with my boyfriend]

[Wts he like]

[Better than you]

[wll thats rude]

[Talk to me when you have a record deal]

[its ok, gt my own bf. hes not as good as u tho]

[You can’t even pretend in texts?]

[haha nope. Can’t pretend like ur not the best]

[You need to get out more]

[nah, got u now. im nevr leavng]

It’s just a few words, full of typos, but it still makes his stomach drop.

[But what should we do about my boyfriend?]

[idk get a biggr bed haha]

[JIWON]

[WHAT]

[!!!]

[im kiddin! you gotta be crazy if u think im gonna share you]

[hey we’re here, hve to go. talk later.]

[love you baby xj]

[Have a safe flight. Love you too.xhx]

The smile doesn’t leave his face. Not for the entire time he makes dinner for himself. It’s only when he sits down at their table that he feels it, the hollow emptiness of the chair next to him, the off-balanced quietness of the apartment, the way there’s only one plate on the table. He looks at his phone but the screen is still black. He can’t even send a message, Jiwon would be in the middle of his flight.

The rest of the night isn’t much better. Even when he knows Jiwon has landed, there’s no texts. Maybe he was just busy.

He cleans up alone. Showers alone. Gets into an empty bed alone. And there’s still no message.

[Hey I’m going to bed now. Hope you’re okay over there. xh]

He doesn’t really sleep though. He can hear the traffic outside his window and it was always weirdly comforting to him, something to do with the mundaness of life continuing on regardless of how bad his day is. But it’s not working tonight, maybe it was only comforting listening to that sound when he had Jiwon’s warm body next to him.  

It’s 1:30am when his dark room lights up from a text on his phone.

[are u still awake]

[Yeah?]

He expects another text marathon but Jiwon ends up calling.

“Hi baby.” Jiwon’s voice sounds rough, exhausted and muffled, like half of his face is against a pillow. “You okay to talk?”

“Yeah.” He’s not sure why it makes him sad that Jiwon has to even ask.

“Sorry I didn’t message or call. Jin got pissed that I was on the phone so much and just took it. He wanted to pack all this stuff into our schedule before Christmas. We just got back from this dinner with a bunch of Japanese rappers. I’m never drinking again.”

He laughs to cover up his paranoia. “Yeah? Did you have a good time?”

Jiwon groans in pain. “I think there should be an age limit on alcohol.”

“There is.”

“It should be like, 30.”

He laughs for real this time. “What happened? Did you do something stupid?”

“No!”

“Didn’t dislocate any jaws today?”

“No, I did not.” Jiwon says bitterly. “We just did a few shots. I’m gonna be so hungover tomorrow and that’s when we’re meeting Doc.”

His ears perk up at that and a shiver runs down his spine. “Who?”

“Doc McKinney. That’s the producer they want to get for my album. Which isn’t even half written by the way, I don’t get why they’re-”

“Wait. Doc McKinney? The american producer?”

“Yeah? You know him?”

“YES.”

“Tablo met him at some company event last month. Thank god he can speak English. They think it’ll be good promo to have a big shot producer on my album but why the hell would he want to work with a no name?” Jiwon laughs then. “Imagine what’s going on in his head. From the Weeknd to me. What a joke.”

“It’s not a joke.” He says firmly. “You’re good on your own but if you got him on your debut Jiwon….that would be crazy.”

“Yeah I know. I’m not gonna put much into it though. We got Tablo, that’s enough.”

Out of the two of them, he doesn’t know how he ended up being the more ambitious one when all the talent was with Jiwon.

“Still try though, right? You never know where it’ll go. It’s always good to make some contacts in the music business. He might be handy when you get into the US market.”

Jiwon snorts down the phone line. “US market? Are you tripping? I’m not even in the Korean market.”

“You should aim high.” He says, smiling at the dark ceiling. “You have the talent and personality for it.”

“I love talking to you. My ego grows like three sizes bigger every time.”

“Good.”

“Hey you know what else grows three sizes bigger?”

He groans at Jiwon’s lame line. “Seriously? That’s how you’re going to change the topic?”

“Yep. That’s how I’m gonna do it.” Jiwon says, words getting more and more slurred. “What are you wearing?”

“Wait. Do you have your own room?”

There’s a bark of laughter down the line. “Yeah, I do. I’m not that much of freak Hanbin. I’m not you.”

He goes red, even though nobody can see him. “I have never done it in a room full of other people! What are you talking about?!”

“I mean, you like it when you think you might get caught.”

He stays silent, trying to think of an answer that doesn’t self-sabotage or reveal any of his other kinks.

“Am I right?” Jiwon asks with a chuckle. “I am, aren’t I? You are so loud. Remember that time in the carpark? I get so hard whenever I think about it.”

Of course he remembers that night. He remembers it so vividly that he can still smell the sweat on Jiwon’s skin, the hunger in his eyes and the way he always comes with that deep growl.

“Baby? You still there?”

His hand was already wandering down between his legs. “Yeah, I’m still here. I’m just….”

“…thinking about it?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. What are you wearing?”

“Puppy pyjamas?”

Jiwon groans. “Why do you have to be so fucking cute at a time like this?!”

“You asked! What are you wearing?”

“Snoopy.”

He laughs. “Well, why do you have to be so fucking cute too?”

“Snoopy smells like you.”

His hand stops in its track. His stomach does that nervous flip again.

“Jiwon….”

“Yeah yeah, I know. I’m supposed to be nasty and talk about how much I want to fuck you right now. But here I am telling you that I took your stupid t-shirt to Japan just so I can pretend I’m sleeping with you. Fuck!” Jiwon laughs at his own ridiculousness. “I can’t even do phone sex right.”

He waits until his breathing sounds normal again. “I….really want to fly over there. Like, right now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Miss me?”

“Yeah, I really do. It sucks being in this bed without you.”

“Well, it sucks being in another country without you. God, how lame are we? It hasn’t even been 24 hours.” Jiwon says in exhaustion before yawning. “My body is so confused right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t know if it’s awake or asleep. I’m half hard but half not. I really need to come but I’m too tired. And I miss you, so I’m sad, but I’m talking to you right now, so I’m kinda not.”

“You’re a mess.” He says with a chuckle, wanting to reach through the phone line to pull Jiwon into their bed. “What you need is sleep. Big day tomorrow.”

“I can’t sleep though! My dick is waiting for me to do something.”

“Well, what do you want me to do about it?”

“I don’t know? Do it with me?”

He kicks his blankets off and throws the puppy pyjamas on the ground. He knew this was coming. “Take your pants off. And Snoopy too.”

“….Okay.”

He waits for the rustling on the other end to stop before talking again.

“I want to hear you touching yourself. Can you do that? I want to hear all those noises you make.”

“Fuck…..you sound so hot talking like this.” Jiwon says. “I’m so hard right now.”

“Good. What are you thinking about?”

“What your mouth feels like. I wish it was here with me.”

“Just my mouth?” He laughs. ‘What would you do with the rest of me?”

There’s a soft muffled sound, like Jiwon was rolling over in bed. “Mmm, no. I wanna hear what you wanna do.”

He’s stroking himself with a faster rhythm now and as much as the words always make him cringe, he’s so turned on and out of his mind that it’s like someone else just took over.

“I kind of…..want you to fuck me backstage after one of your shows.”

There’s a deep moan through the phone’s static. “Keep going, babe.”

“Sometimes I watch you on stage and you’re so sweaty and aggressive. I always wanted to pull you behind the curtains and lick all that sweat off you.”

“Mmmhmm. Then what?”

“Then you’d push me on the ground and I’d complain that my knees hurt. But you wouldn’t care. You’d hold my jaw and make me open my mouth just so you can fuck into it until I’m gagging and begging you to stop.”

“Keep going keep going….I’m so close…”

His hand is so wet now and he can hear Jiwon’s erratic breathing through the phone.

“I wouldn’t want you to stop though. I want it to hurt. I want to taste you when you cum in my mouth and when you’re done, I want you to fuck me and fill me up so much that it drips down my legs…”

There’s a strained ‘fuck!’ through the phone line followed by that familiar raspy growl and whispers of his name. His own head is full of flashbacks of that night in the carpark, he remembers Jiwon’s eyes as he pushed in, so deep and slow that the stretch made him want to scream. It was an overwhelming mix of desperation, aggression and possession. It’s that memory that makes him close his eyes now and cum all over his hand with a drawn out moan.

There’s a few seconds of silence where all he can hear is their breathing but suddenly Jiwon starts laughing.

“What?!”

“Nothing nothing. I was just thinking of how much trouble you’re gonna be in when I come home.”

He smiles in the darkness, sweaty and aching everywhere. How the hell are they going to handle three days apart?

Soundtrack: July - Kris

#cwac stuff #cwac re- uploads #the original chpt got flagged #tumblr is reviewing the original post #this is a temporary post until the issue is resolved