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#shrek 1

Wait- Donkey from Shrek is a bard here’s the proof

1 He sings

2 Great confidence

3 Waffles

4 seduces a dragon

5 has kids with that dragon

6 Comedy master

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Look, I’m not the one with the problem, okay? It’s the world that seems to have a problem with ME! People take one look at me and go “Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!” They judge me before they even know me - that’s why I’m better off alone…

SHREK dir. Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson // 2001

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SHREK


Written by


William Steig & Ted Elliott





SHREK

Once upon a time there was a lovely

princess. But she had an enchantment

upon her of a fearful sort which could

only be broken by love’s first kiss.

She was locked away in a castle guarded

by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.

Many brave knights had attempted to

free her from this dreadful prison,

but non prevailed. She waited in the

dragon’s keep in the highest room of

the tallest tower for her true love

and true love’s first kiss. (laughs)

Like that’s ever gonna happen. What

a load of - (toilet flush)

Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his

day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go

after the ogre.

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These kids really think I’m afraid of getting in trouble for showing them a pg 13 movie once. It’s princess mononoke! There’s just blood in it, there are pg movies that have way worse stuff! And then they complained about the butts the little tree spirits have!. Shrek is literally pg and I can literally list all the things why it should be pg 13, and these kids would argue with me!

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