#shut the fuck up brit

[mrschwartz]

Arctic Monkeys’ Alex Turner: ‘I’m comfortable with the idea that things don’t have to be a pop song’

The most influential frontman of his generation is also the least at ease with it. He discusses abandoning rock norms, singing from the gut and treading the fine line between cryptic and gooey on new album The Car

Not for the first time, Alex Turner has lost his train of thought. In a booth of a downtown Manhattan diner, the Arctic Monkeys frontman is hunched forward, grasping for words to describe their new album – a black-tie orgy of cinematic soul, lurid funk and perfumed 60s strings. A waiter swoops in to save him. Would Turner like some milk for his coffee? “I’ll have a bit of milk, yes please,” he says. She returns a minute later, and Turner, having strung together no more than half a sentence, eagerly tops up his mug. “OK,” he says, rubbing his hands. “OK. Now we’ve got it.”

During our two-hour conversation, the affable introvert is determinedly, delightfully animated: he bashes imaginary woodblocks, sprawls across his moulded seat, clasps thin air and shakes it like a Magic 8 Ball. His turquoise jumper’s V-neck reveals a thin gold necklace, which he fondles while digressing into monologues on the genius of composer David Axelrod. Turner has been portrayed as aloof and evasive, but he is a man of pensive silences – an ambivalent overthinker trapped in an eccentric entertainer’s body.

He tries to describe orchestrating that new album, The Car. “Rather than strings on top of rock,” he says finally, “I was interested in switching the ‘rock band’ bit on and off.” He tweaks levels on a mixing desk in his mind’s eye. “With the Sculptures song” – the dizzyingly gorgeous Sculptures of Anything Goes – “the ‘rock band’ fader comes up for two bars here and there, and then it’s switched back off.”

He inspects this thought, then ​​flings out his arms and freezes. He looks like a magician alarmed the rabbit is missing from his hat. Slowly, he reboots. “And I don’t remember doing that quite so … deliberately before,” he concludes. A boyish smile. “Phew!” He clutches his chest. “I didn’t think I was gonna get to the end of that sentence.”

But Turner, 36, is nothing if not acutely self-aware and very funny with it. But surely this superstar, whose new haircuts trend on Twitter, is too famous to be such a brooder. Each of his eight albums, including the two with the Last Shadow Puppets, his project with friend Miles Kane, has debuted at No 1 in the UK. Since its 2013 release, the Monkeys’ juggernaut of a fifth album, AM, has taken just one week’s holiday from the UK Top 100. It spent most of September back inside the Top 10, after the band headlined Reading and Leeds festivals.

The AM era lasted a couple of years – long enough for the Sheffield boys’ image as pomade-slick, leather-jacketed Los Angeles dirtbags to stick in the public memory for good. So when Arctic Monkeys got back to mischief, with 2018’s fantastically strange Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino, fans were confounded. Turner had assembled a cast of distractible narrators to interrogate modern society – technology, politics, hyperreal LA – in a retro-futurist concept album set in a lunar colony. On stage, dressed like a 70s geography teacher, he now addressed crowds with comical formality. Sceptics said he had lost the plot, calling it an act of self-sabotage – or worse, a class betrayal. In Sheffield, somebody graffitied a coffin on a gate at Hunter’s Bar – the area immortalised in Fake Tales of San Francisco. “Hey Alex,” the caption read. “How’s California?”

While tighter and grander than its predecessor, Arctic Monkeys’ seventh album is blissfully unconcerned with correcting the record. It swings from a louche, movie-soundtrack intro to Portishead-stark noir, improbably catchy yacht-funk and the poppy bombast of Elliott Smith’s LA era. At times, Turner dips into a slick, syrupy croon, though he recoils from the word’s stuffy baggage.

“You sort of wish there was a way around the things attached to that word [croon],” he says. “But yeah, everything’s come down a little bit. And I like that, because if it’s come down here” – he runs a finger from his forehead to his ribcage – “it’s out of your head. It’s more coming from …”

He hunts for the word. The heart? I suggest, as he flings invisible confetti from his chest.

“The heart,” he agrees, sounding a bit uncomfortable. “Or even better: the gut.”

Turner is not all the way out of his head just yet. He sings much of The Car in a falsetto that trapezes between Sly Stone and David Byrne. The anxious melodies strike a delicate balance with the sumptuous strings. “You don’t want it to get gooey,” he reasons. “But it’s nice to get to the perimeter of that. There may have been discussions about where that line is, and how many times you can get close to it.”

Still, Turner’s bamboozling lyrics preclude slushiness. Traces of Yorkshire chansonnier Jake Thackray and punk-poet John Cooper Clarke remain, but Turner’s bon mots are now elaborately encrypted. Struggle though you may to picture festival crowds bellowing some of the lyrics here (Hello You opens: “Lego Napoleon movie / written in noble gas-filled glass tubes / underlined in sparks”), you can never rule it out. The similarly inscrutable 505, an album cut from 2007’s Favourite Worst Nightmare, recently caused a sensation on TikTok.

Maybe tackling impenetrable lyrics helps bring us deeper into a song, I suggest. Turner laughs. “I like the idea of you putting that in here and everybody going: ‘Ah, I dunno, sounds tough. We won’t give it a listen after all.’” He admits to scribbling notes in his printed lyric book, teasing out themes mysterious even to him. “The Annotated Lyrics,” he jokes, imitating a 1950s ad man. “Get that stocking filler out for Christmas.”

From the moment in the mid-00s when Arctic Monkeys blew up, Turner has longed to go incognito. He strode undercover into his new public life, a frightened teenager hiding inside a big swagger, collecting shiny awards for songs he had written for mates of mates in pub backrooms. In 2006, the band released what was then the UK’s all-time fastest-selling debut album – a death sentence for his man-of-the-people, kitchen-sink writing style.

On 2009’s Humbug, co-produced by Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme, Turner escaped into a rock archetype. The band’s hairier second phase amped up the sleaze and elliptical lyrics, culminating in the darkly spectacular AM. By this point, the bequiffed Turner was harder to read, particularly in his divisive speech at the 2014 Brit Awards. “That rock’n’roll, eh,” he drawled with indeterminate sincerity. “It’s always waiting there, just around the corner. Ready to make its way back through the sludge and smash through the glass ceiling, looking better than ever. Yeah, that rock’n’roll …”

At the mention of the speech, and its concluding mic drop, Turner winces, sucking air through his teeth. But, I say, since Tranquility, the moment looks more like performance art – perhaps it anticipated his scepticism towards the rock construct. He listens intently, then, on the last point, springs back as if harpooned to his seat. “That’s interesting, yeah, yeah, yeah,” he says, head bobbing vigorously. He chews it over, talking half to himself. “So we’re saying it’s tied to AM, because of the haircut and … that performer …”

He seems unsure just how much of himself was in the mic-dropping rock star.

“When you think about that, and the clothes,” he continues, “I wasn’t doing that with [fourth album] Suck It and See or [third] Humbug. It wasn’t grease in the hair.” He pauses again, considering each album’s “performer” – always a fractured reflection of himself. “Normally, the record you make encourages a certain style of performance. But thinking about the performer in relation to Tranquility, or even this thing” – meaning the new album – “I have considered that you can invert that. The performer can influence the music, rather than the other way around.”

The Car’s performer more closely resembles the Turner I meet today: brilliant company but palpably self-scrutinising – a far cry from the headstrong Brits character. Turner wrote most of the album at the piano, souping up Tranquility’s vanquished lounge singer with a spritz of Rat Pack razzmatazz. Turner and the band’s producer, James Ford, separately drafted string arrangements that the composer Bridget Samuels simplified and edited.

Turner seems mildly embarrassed by the prospect of using strings live (a proposed orchestral TV special was deemed too predictable), but the album sounds just as exquisite without them. During a stunning show at Brooklyn’s Kings theatre the week of our interview, the band premiere three songs: the resplendent There’d Better Be a Mirrorball, a fingerpicked heart-warmer called Mr Schwartz and soon-to-be staple Body Paint, whose gnomic chorus crowdsurfs along a festival-slaying melody: “Straight from the cover shoot,” Turner coos, “There’s still a trace of body paint / On your legs and on your arms and on your face.”

As with 505 or Crying Lightning, it is a head-scratcher fated for mass seduction. “Not exactly what you’d imagine singing over the loud bit,” Turner concurs, chuckling. The body paint could represent almost anything: a literal costume; a stubborn artistic persona; or in a spunkier reading, the residue of an illicit affair. “But it’s as much about the musical ideas as the lyrics,” Turner says. “On Mirrorball, before the words even come in, that instrumental piece [establishes] the feel of the record”: wistful, enigmatic, acutely reminiscent of 70s European cinema. “All right,” Turner recalls thinking after writing it in 2020. “This feels like how the next record starts.”

Turner now lives between London and Paris with the French singer-songwriter Louise Verneuil. He composed most of the album alone, using the technique he road-tested on AM and adopted wholesale on Tranquility: compose, demo, inspect, tweak and re-record, repeat the process to death and eventually add drums and vintage keyboards. Finally: bring in the band.

In the summer of 2021, Arctic Monkeys convened at Butley Priory, a wedding venue and makeshift studio in Suffolk. On a whim, Turner brought his 60mm video camera to document the sessions, later compiling his footage for the impressively chic There’d Better Be a Mirrorball video. “That gave everybody a bit of room,” he says. “James [Ford] definitely didn’t mind that I had something to play with.” During downtime, the band watched the Euros and nipped outdoors for kickabouts. “I do get caught up in those tournaments. Something about that feeling connects you to when you were a kid. You find yourself thinking about Euro 96. And then it ends, and you almost feel a bit mad for feeling like that.”

That proximity to yesteryear haunts the record, not least in the creeping jazz element, which evokes his jazz-musician dad’s records and saxophone noodlings in Turner’s childhood home. “It came out the front in Tranquility, and there’s definitely a bit more this time,” he says. “It’s one of those things that you try to fly quite close to without [crossing over]. That music you’re around when you’re a kid always has a special power.”

Strikingly, the more sentimentality creeps into the music, the less forthright emotion surfaces in Turner’s lyrics. I ask if he is equally withholding in private – does he find it harder, as he gets older, to tell people he loves them? He laughs. “No, no, I don’t think so. I like to think that outside songwriting, I find it more straightforward to be direct.” He is prone to embarrassment by lyrics from bygone years. Perhaps the more elemental style, with fewer obvious footholds, helps minimise the cringing? “I like the idea that I’m getting better at the … I sort of want to say distillation.” He handles the word cautiously. “I think I’m better at picking the moment to expose the idea behind the song. But you have to be comfortable with the idea that things don’t have to be a pop song.”

What has remained constant since the beginning, he says, “is the instinct of it all”. Even the meticulous experiments of Tranquility and The Car stem from his faith in his bloody-minded intuition. I remind him of something he said, aged 19, about the perils of fame: “When you want it and you get obsessive, you mould yourself to be whatever they want you to be.”

He laughs. “It’s a heck of a time to drop a quote from 2005, when we’re talking about stuff to be embarrassed about.” But he agrees Arctic Monkeys’ instincts and gang mentality insulated them from industry games and greed. “The name of the band seems to allude to how limited the expectations were,” he adds. “If you realised you were gonna be doing this 20 years later, you might’ve had another hour in that meeting.”

Fatalistic fans have already forecast the band’s demise based on the single’s valedictory lyrics, but while the album abounds with goodbyes, Turner seems full of optimism about the future. His bandmates are, too. “You can tell when they’re excited and when there’s that palpable indifference,” he says, grinning. Does he still get much of the latter? “Surely. Intermittently. I’m grateful for it sometimes.” He drifts off again with a dreamy look, zeroing in on the right turn of phrase. “Between the band and James Ford …” he begins, unhappy with the imperfect words he has found. “I can’t do it on my own, I guess is what I’m trying to say.”

#arctic monkeys #alex turner #the car #interview #SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS THE THING THAT HAS LEFT ME THE MOST INCOHERENT THIS ERA SO FAR #HE'S REFERRING TO HIMSELF IN EACH ERA AS ''THAT ALBUM'S PERFORMER''?????????????????????????????????????? #WHEN HE SAID IT FOR THE FIRST TIME REFERRING TO THE BRITS SPEECH I THREW MY COMPUTER TO THE SIDE; #MY PHONE ON THE FLOOR; #STARTED PACING AROUND MY ROOM; AND STARTED CRYING #im not. i can't talk about anything that he said in this i need to sleep and then wake up in order to do so #soooooooooooo straightforward and honest. wincing about his past personas #OPENLY talkign about them??????? with THAT word????? performer??????w #IN THE THIRD PERSON?????????????????W

[rayvern-sheep]

Bruh what is with non-Brit’s hearing a posh English accent and assuming that person is more intelligent or “well-spoken”. Just because someone uses “Queen’s English” (should it be King’s English now??) or they have a posh-cunt Londoner accent they automatically sound intelligent.

Idk man, as an English commoner I don’t think RP (received-pronunciation) makes someone “well-spoken” or intelligent. I can do RP but I’m still a massive dumbass. Someone can use a tonne of slang and not speak w/ RP and they can be very intelligent and actually have a better understanding of the English language. Do not be fooled by rich posh classist cunts, they are not any smarter than anyone else. Once you’ve listened to enough of the waffling of any English politician w/ all these posh-git expensive education shit you learn that they’re fucking morons. (And that’s not getting into their morals…)

#shut up ray #and I’m not saying all non-brits are like this btw #I’m just watching a debate w/ some annoying English grifter #and the person watching the debate keeps commenting on how ‘well-spoken’ this asshole is #he’s fucking not #he’s an idiot #you’ve just been fooled by the posh-cunt accent #tag rambles

[djo]

good morning i cannot stop thinking about the way joe cursed under his breath during a podcast how about y’all

#see what happens when you’re down horrendous #like it’s 10 am and i’m already 😵‍💫 over a brit saying fuck #shut up allie

[streatfeild]

i‘m damaged bc i‘m reading jedtavius fanfic rn but. in my head their voices are trip‘s and malcolm

there‘s just sometging that gets me with the southern x british combo

#natm #star trek #ent #like jesus fucking christ #the guy who said sun/moon pairings are the pillars of society? yes right but consider this: #southern american/british brit #shut up kit

[navree]

ok but it’s hard for me to feel bad for british people going “please don’t make fun of us In This Time” because every time some tweet about how british food sucks gets marginally popular brits on the internet decide that school shooting jokes are funny actually (and also get hypocritical about other social issues as if britain itself isn’t just as much a cesspool of every -phobia and -ism under the sun) so i don’t really have a lot of empathy for your issues

#personal #brits see anyone make fun of beans on toast (an objectively horrible thing) #and make asinine cracks about uvalde or sandy hook as if that's like actually funny at all and not ghoulish #but god forbid someone make a joke about a 96 year old reaching the end of her natural lifespan #'it's so difficult for us' man shut up #ninety percent of the world's overall ills can be traced back to britain in specific #and also you just haven't instilled a lot of goodwill for me to care about your fucking problems #(if this sounds mean that's cuz it is i'm a bit hungry right now and therefore have no filter)

[luciality]

Is it ok to wear knock off rocking horse shoes if im going to actual england where vivienne westwood is from?

#shut up luci #delete later #i have seen brits wear the bodyline and antaina rhs i know its not fucking illegal but #idk i feel like its somehow rude????? cultural appropriation.

[pinkkittysaw]

i adore ghost and soap’s banter

#angel’s altar 💒 #“good advice Lt. i wanna be like you when i grow up.” #“you wanna be better than me johnny” #/// “​away n bile yer heid” #“english mactavish” #“​sorry sir let me translate ‘go fuck yourself’” #/// ​“it’s pishin’ it doon out here” #“speak english” #“it’s raining fuckin’ hard” #“then say so” #“i did” #/// ​“so you do like me” #“i like you alive” #/// “i’m in the coffee shop” #“get us a tea” #“fucking brits…” #/// “trash bin on your right. time to take out the trash…” #“shut up soap- fucking hell”

[quillandrapier]

Funny thing, if you post a gollywog on social media without social commentary I will ask for you to be shot in the street

#Tw: racism #So fucking sick of white brits man #It's not funny okay shut up shut up shut up

[shotmrmiller]

whenever simon needs a lay, he doesn't go for girls like you: all snarky attitude and self-assuredness in that hole-in-the-wall bar with the peeling wallpaper, dim lighting, and sagging ceiling tiles. he wants those insecure things; the soft, quiet ones who've been recently dumped and are drinking away their woes. the ones who'll take him to theirs in a drunken haze and wake up startled, kicking him out of the front door without their number and an embarrassed forget this ever happened.

can do, sweetheart. (see ya never.)

but you've caught his interest. maybe it was the way your face was bare— pockmarks on your cheeks and eyebrows untamed—yet you exuded confidence not even that loud bimbo with the fake lashes and vibrant ruby lipstick could ever recreate. maybe it was the way you held your own against that drunken man who attempted to grab a handful of arse over your faded, torn jeans, catching his pathetic bollocks and giving them a gnarly twist.

who knows. who cares.

what matters is that you've caught him by complete surprise.

he figured you were the type to want a firm hand. a couple of harsh slaps to your cheeks (both top and bottom), a fistful of your hair in his grip to pull, and to fuck you into the mattress until your body was imprinted on it.

wrong.

the moment he pulled your hair taut, you'd immediately tangled your clever fingers into his chest hair. "i'm no horse, brit. my hair isn't reins for you to lead me around with."

then he tried to bend you over his knee. proper brat like you needs to be put in'er place.

also wrong. "not that either. not yet anyway."

and then he's wrong a third time because you're no passive participant.

he sloppily eats your cunt like it's his first meal since coming back from urzikstan— warm tongue, thick fingers, and the occasional pinch of his crooked teeth on your swollen bundle of nerves. when he tries to pull away, your entrance more than slick enough to take him without much discomfort, you fervently dig your heels into the scarred tissue of his strong back., stopping him in his tracks.

"you stop 'til i finish and not a moment sooner." his whiskey breath is warm between your legs when he huffs out, "affirm." you're fluttering around his hand in minutes when you start to direct him on how you like it, which he supposes is fortunate for you since he's real good at taking orders and even better at obeying them.

your climax is sweet in his mouth with a subtle hint of brine. the exact opposite of you, he finds. simon doesn't even get the chance to tell you to say anything because you're flipping onto your knees and shoving his rigid length into your mouth. he can't help the strangled sound that escapes him when the tip of him touches the back of your throat, constricting when you gag.

bloody hell.

you look up at him; wide, glassy eyes and sunken cheeks and it's pathetic how he can already feel himself on the precipice of ecstasy and he hasn't even gotten to the good part.

when he watches you place a condom in your mouth and roll it on his cock without hands, simon had to squeeze his eyes shut and think of england to stop the fire that threatened to light him ablaze.

alrigh', enough. on your back.

"no. get on yours."

your small hands push against his barrel chest, gesturing he lie back— today preferably.

impatient bint.

you ignore that quip, opting to wrap your fingers around his thick base and sink onto him in one smooth motion.

slow, don't want ya hurtin' ya'self.

he gnaws on his tongue painfully— almost cutting it open with his canine— to keep from finishing because, bloody fuckin' hell, do you feel like the heaven he'll never see.

simon's hands curl and tighten around the swell of your hips— his blunt, square nails digging into your sensitive skin. "easy," you hiss, "i bruise like a peach."

taste like it, too.

you look so sweet, so pliant while being split open on his cock, hot cunt sodden with your earlier release— it sends mind-numbing arousal tingling up his spine, feeling it at the base of his skull. simon grunts when you begin to move, a languid up and down, gentle but firm. spots dance in his vision when you take all of him, his bollocks flush against your arse.

pretty thing with fire in your eyes taking him so well even though others have needed breaks to work up to it. muscle memory takes over then, his callused fingers automatically searching for your swollen clit, but you slap them away. "too sensitive, i'd only be uncomfortable."

yes ma'am.

you chuckle at that, pussy fluttering as you do and simon hisses through his clenched teeth.

keep tha' up 'nd i'll be done before the fun even starts.

this time you clamp down on purpose, your cunt squeezing his cock like a silken fist. "wouldn't that just be a shame. old man like yourself only got one in you?" the playful taunt sinks its teeth into the ego he's never cared about— leaving behind a mark that stings and lingers— and the lieutenant rears his head, if only for a moment.

watch it.

your eyes widen fractionally but your lips curl at the corners in amusement. "sorry, sir." minx.

his thoughts dissolve like sugar in hot tea once your hips began to rise and fall again, this time a much quicker pace. he surrenders to your unsatiable passion-- a hungry beast, feeding on want, on need-- with only his obsidian-black mask as witness.

for the first time in months (since price bent him over his desk post-op that one time) he's the one getting fucked.

and when you plant your feet by his sides, when your hips cant at the slightest of angles, his flared head presses against something firm and his world ceases to exist, the intensity of now reaching its peak.

when he comes to, your sweat-slick body trembles with effort, your pretty cunt still stuffed to the brim with his softening length. but he's not done with you yet, not by a long shot. now it's his turn.

in a quick movement, you find yourself on your back, looking up at simon, and the mewl that falls from your lips bounces off of the spartan white walls when he hooks your legs over his broad shoulders, and claims you again.

he plans on leaving a delicious ache between your legs that won't let you forget this night-- at least not for the next few days. (not like you could, i mean look at him. plus, he's going to magically forget his gloves here, maybe his pack of cigarettes. he's also definitely jotting down his phone number somewhere.)

forgive me i'm tired now so i lost some air at the end hehehe

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x f reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley smut #cod smut #simon riley smut

[discountrosaluxemburg]

another work bruh moment: having to repeat to a karen multiple times that her receipt is in the bag after she said multiple times that she wanted it

#batya please shut the fuck up #gotta love retail #this is why europeans say brits are the americans of europe

[lewisvinga]

my mistake | lando norris x fem! reader

summary; lando had been chasing after oscar’s friend, y/n for a couple months now. he’s confused on why she keeps dismissing him until he finally got his answer

fc; nailea devora

warnings; cursing

taglist; @namgification

note; requested !

masterlist !

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others

yourusername: thank u mclaren n oscar for having me 🧡

tagged; oscarpiastri, mclaren

mclaren: always a joy to have you😎🧡

username: pretty girls stan y/n

oscarpiastri: ur annoying

yourusername: god forbid a girl ask for food

oscarpiastri: i kept getting weird stares bc you made me get you 4 plates of food.

yourusername: THE CHICKEN PASTA WAS GOOD🙎‍♀️🙎‍♀️🙎‍♀️🙎‍♀️

username: her friendship w oscar is everything

username: PAPAYAAA

landonorris: you’re forgetting someone 🤔

yourusername: no i don’t think so

landonorris: a handsome brit? 😁

yourusername: oh! lewis😁

landonorris: i meant me…

yourusername: ok !

username: lando😭

Y/N L/N ANSWERS YOUR FAN QUESTIONS!

lando👍

y/n

y/n

y/n🌷

what now lando

lando👍

what happened to u and why’d u distance yourself from f1😁

y/n🌷

none of ur business

lando👍

pleaseeee

aren’t we bffs😁😁😁

y/n🌷

no we are not

you just got my number from osc

lando 👍

well i’m not leaving you alone until you tell me

y/n

y/nnnnnn

answer

answer

answer

pleaseeeeeee🙏

y/n🌷

you really don’t remember?

lando👍

no?

y/n🌷

2019

i was starting to gain a following but nothing like what i have now

and i went to a race and i was so excited to be there and then i saw you

of course i was happy to see you but then when i smiled, you just rolled your eyes at me and looked really annoyed at me

and that hurt , lando

lando👍

shit

y/n i honestly don’t remember

but fuck i’m sorry

y/n🌷

whatever im over it

just sucks when someone you’re a fan of acts annoyed by u xx

but then i met osc and now he’s my friend so now i’m back into this f1 shit

lando👍

y/n seriously i’m so sorry

it was my mistake, i must’ve thought you were someone else

let me make it up to you

y/n🌷

it’s fine lando

past is past but just wanted you to know

lando👍

no i wanna make it up

y/n🌷

i said it’s fine

lando👍

nope!

not until i can make u laugh

at least let me take you out for lunch

y/n🌷

hmmmmm

fine

but i’m gonna order a feast

lando👍

fine by me😁

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and others

yourusername: how does 1 live knowing that u invited someone out for food only to steal their fries ….. #landonorrisisover

tagged; landonorris

landonorris: u got full after 3 bites of your burger

yourusername: wrong it was 4! and it was a very big n filling burger!!

landonorris: omg u finally posted me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

yourusername: don’t make me delete this post, lando norris 😒

username: i just know lando is giggling knowing he finally made it to a y/n post

username: did months of lando norizz flirting in her comments actually pay off??

oscarpiastri: wow.

yourusername: omw w fries for u don’t worry pooks

landonorris: worry if i eat them all

oscarpiastri: shut up lando norizz

lilyzneimer: miss u sm🥹🥹

yourusername: i miss u more💔 lmk when ur going to a race 😞

username: y/n gorgeous omg

username: wait who is that???

username: f1 driver and teammates w y/n friend oscar!

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and others

lando.jpg: the gf chronicles

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: fuck u and those stupid burgers and ur stupid jokes and ur stupid cute smile and the latte u bought me

lando.jpg: don’t worry guys she just hasn’t had her afternoon nap yet

yourusername: i’m so tired 😞😞

yourusername: bf🔥

lando.jpg: gf🔥

username: oh hello

username: wHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

username: she’s scute i love her sm

username: idk who i want more him or her

carlossainz55: about time ! i didn’t know how many more calls of you talking about y/n i could handle!😂😂

yourusername: awh he talks abt me??

lando.jpg: not you exposing me, carlos 😒

oscarpiastri: fuck you you left me with half of my fries that time

lando.jpg: they were good sorry not sorry

yourusername: bro he’s such a fries stealer, i can’t ever eat my fries in peace

lando.jpg: tomato tomato

#formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 smau #f1 scenario #formula one scenarios #f1 imagine #formula one imagines #formula one imagine #f1 scenarios #formula one social media au #lando norris smau #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris scenarios

[landograndprix]

╰┈➤ ❝ desire • l.n c.l ❞ x

part nine - part eleven

➪ Charles hasn't paid much attention to you after your daughter was born but a certain Brit does.

➪ and while there's a lot of things you still need to work on, this is a great start to the new, beter chapters of your life

➪ established relationship mom!reader x dad!Charles x lando

➪ I think we needed a lil' cute to calm our tits 🥰 also, absolutely gobsmacked by the love this fic is getting and how involved you all are with it, you guys are seriously the best and I love y'all so much 😘

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y/nusername posted to their story

milliexoxo replied to your story

milliexoxo

someone's getting laid tonight

guessing you're not coming home tonight 🤪

y/nusername

go back to your coloring book

milliexoxo

wow, okay..I see how it is

no but seriously, are you coming back tonight or are you staying with lando so I can double lock the house lmao

y/nusername

staying in monaco, will be back tomorrow

milliexoxo

nice, I'll see you tomorrow then

have fun and don't do things I wouldn't do 😘

y/nusername

okay mom 😘

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y/nusername

📍 London, United Kingdom

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 539,678 others

y/nusername fifty shades of earl grey. 🇬🇧

tagged: landonorris, milliexoxo

view all 2,001 comments

norry4 cute, lando took them to England 😭

milliexoxo talk british to me

milliexoxo not pictured, y/n losing her mind over a bookshop

↳ y/nusername that wasn't a shop, that was heaven.

milliexoxo okay..nerd

landoscar i agree with y/n, every book shop is heaven

yukisan girl stop bullying your mom, we've warned you before 😭

milliexoxo I'm a rebel, I don't listen to no one

y/nusername big imagination for such a little girl

norrizz god I just know zoë is getting spoiled by stepdad lando 😭

carlandooo Charles crying in a corner rn

↳ charliecharlie I mean that's his own fault lmfao

carlandooo true 💀

bradleyfewtrell please tell me you met max 😂

↳ landomax I just know millie will bully max relentlessly 😂

bradleyfewtrell and I just know y/n would get along with max and pietra so well!

norrizzlandoo lando and zoë 😭😭

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milliexoxo

like by y/nusername, logansargeant and 2,671 others

milliexoxo your typical tourist on tour.

tagged: landonorris, y/nusername, maxfewtrell

maxwellmax lmfao yes max 💀

landonorris ❤️ I nodnol?

↳ milliexoxo oh my god you're so funny lando!!!!!!!

norry4 took me a second 😂

landonorizzzz he's taking his annoying stepdad duties seriously 😭

landoscar I feel sorry for the people who don't follow millie and miss out on all this

charlieslec did she just casually expose lando and y/n??

↳ norry4 are you new here? 😂

maxfewtrell but why?

↳ milliexoxo because I can 🥰

yukisan are we all just going to ignore the fact that Logan Sargeant is hiding in the likes? Yes? Cool 😭

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y/nusername

📍 Miami, FL

liked by riabish, landonorris and 609,578 others

y/nusername week 6. 🇺🇸

tagged: landonorris

view all 1,922 comments

landonorizzzz aw lando finally made it to the feed normally instead of the soft launch bullshit 😇

charlesgirlies zoë 🥺😭

milliexoxo look at my girlfriend living her best life, floating around ❤️

norry4 are we official? Hellooo can I finally fully unleash thr landoy/n shipper in me?! 🥺

yourmumsuser my little zoë 🤩🤩

chilisainz zoe being the unbothered queen that she is

landonorris my girls ❤️

↳ landoscar SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UUUUUUUP 😭

yesrislando brb going to take a bath with my toaster

maxmaxmax man's really pulled a max and stole another driver's girl and child 💀

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Desire taglist; @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @writingworlds @chezmardybum @lewisvinga @xjval @fanficweasley @rockyhayzkid @aundercover @thecubanator2 @minchedchilli @crimeshowjunkie @alisoncasey21 @eeviepepi08 @shamelesspotatos @sleepybrokenmelle @leireggsworld @janeholt3 @iamahalicinationn @dessxoxsworld @kapsylia @22yuki @dark-night-sky-99 @sheslikeacurse @nerdreader

Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie @pretty-little-bunny382728 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @severewobblerlightdragon @cherry-piee @namgification @mycenterfold @devineendevers

Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10 @bored-brunette2 @i83andrew

#lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc #lando norris #lando norris fanfic #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #lando x reader #charles x reader

[karmavongrim]

Dear Father fanfic idea

DC x DP crossover fanfiction

Fanfic idea of Danny adopting everyone. He’s worse than Batman since he does it 200% deliberately with no age nor race restriction.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Absolutely fucking not.”

Yeah, nope. No way in hell was he, John mother-fucking Constantine going to let this happen. Only over his dead body, which might actually be the case by the end of the bloody day if they couldn’t come up with something else other than that. And he wasn’t going to change his mind no matter how much the kid currently gallivanting as a demi-god whined. Wasn’t that a news when he found out several months ago.

“Come on Constans, we both know he wouldn’t mind. Besides what else can we do, we’ve tried everything.” Captain Marvel pleaded with the older man as he gestured their surroundings.

It couldn’t be described as anything else other than apocalyptic. A complete fucking shitshow.

Apparently a prophecy of some kind came to fruition right under their bloody noses and they were left grasping straws to try and stop the end of the world from happening. If only-

“Call him or I’ll call him John! Your choice.” Pressed Marvel who was getting fed up with the magician’s nonsense but he wasn’t bugging, no siree!

“Shut up, we don’t need his help! Just let me-” John yelled while buried head first in his spell book, desperately trying to find away that didn’t require him to relinquish the last few pits of his shabby dignity. Or what was left of it anyways. But Marvel was having non of it.

“Nope, that’s it! I’m making the call!” The red glad man shouted over the blonde brit and pulled out his personal phone which looked like it had been pulled strait out of a sci-fi movie.

This caused John to lunge at Marvel who in return floated away out of his reach.

“Are you daft? I’ll never hear the end of it so don’t even- Hey! Don’t you dare, I swear-!” They were quickly interrupted by a black looming silhouette quickly approaching them.

“I hope that you two have come up with something since you’re able to play around like this.” Batman demanded in gruff manner, man looking worse for wear just like the rest of them. Marvel swiftly positioned the dark one between him and his would-be assailant.

“Oh we did have a solution from the very start but someone thinks that we don’t need any help. His poor ego wouldn’t be able to handle it.” He told as he threw a look over his makeshift barrier’s shoulder.

“Shut your cakehole.” John hissed but was reluctantly put in place by a hard glare from mister darker and gloomier who turned to the floating magic-user.

“What is this solution exactly? Help from who or what?” At his inquiry the boy-man hero couldn’t help but beam when he began to explain what, or rather who he had in mind.

“Well I was thinking calling our-” But he was rudely cut in before he could get far.

“We aren’t calling anybody because we don’t need his help! We can take care of this on our own!” Batman turned back to the blond and was clearly at the end of his patience.

“We are running on borrowed time Constantine, if there is any chance to for us to stop this then we should take it since we don’t have any other options left.”

The two began to argue so heatedly that they didn’t pay attention to Marvel speed dialing the number he kept close to his heart. With a dopey grin he bounced on his heels while he waited for the other side to answer. After just two rings the line connected.

“Hi kid! What are you calling in for, did you get out of work already?” A jovial, baritone voice rang out which instantly relaxed the kid-not-kid hero. The all-composing feeling of warmth, protection and safety could almost be felt through the phone which never failed to make him feel comfortable and at peace.

“Hi dad! No, I’m still at work and we kinda shorta need your help. Badly.”

He could near feel the change in his father’s mood and he definitely heard it in his voice.

“What do you need? Where are you?” Came the rapid questioning. His smile never left as he thought how dad always went strait to business when it came to his family and friends. Always ready to help no matter what or why.

“Well, apparently the apocalypse is happening and we have no idea how to stop it… Can you help us? Please?” He tentatively asked as he glanced back at the bickering duo. Sometimes he asked himself if he really was the only secret child there.

“Ha ha, no need to beg, let alone ask. I’ll be there in a jiffy once I know where you guys are. Just try and hang in there kid.” Voice on the other side commented in lighter tone.

Marvel let out a sigh. He knew that everything would be okay after all.

“Thanks dad. We are currently stuck on Metropolis in it’s central, it’s a complete mess in here.”

“Everything will be fine. See you soon.” The voice chuckled and cut the call.

Yes, everything would be just fine. He turned to call out to the idiots who looked to be near ripping each other a new one.

“You two can stop now, he’s already on his way!”

He had to wince at the speed which the blonde turned his head to stare at him. Then came the familiar cursing.

“Fucking shite!”

He merely rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in irritation. He glared at the magician.

“Seriously, what’s your problem? It doesn’t have to be this difficult you know.”

Before John could comment, Batman pushed pass and stalked up to Marvel.

“Who did you call?”

He couldn’t say much before more of their fellow heroes started to trickle in. Flash no surprise being the first.

“Hope you got something up your utility belt Bats, we can’t take this much longer.” Pleaded the red speedster. He was joined by Green Lantern carrying injured Superman and ouch did he look roughened up.

“Have to agree with Flashpoint. Were running out of juice fast, and even Big Blue is out cold.”

Marvel looked at the others coming in. Martian Manhunter, Zatara, Wonder Woman, Black Canary and even Doctor Fate was there, none of them looking any better.

“Well, I’m glad to announce that help is on their way so we can all sit back and relax for a bit. This will be over in no time.” He declared brightly.

The others goggled at him like he made the most outlandish statement in all of history, minus Constantine who has decided to use this small window of calm to drown his headache in his flask while he still can.

“What the hell are you on about? What help? Who could possibly help with this!” Flash yelled out the question in everybodies mind.

“I would like to known this too finally.” Batman demanded this as well.

Seeing everybody hanging onto his up coming explanation he smirked at John who gave him oh-so-eloquently middle finder in retaliation. Well to bad, he would have to just deal with it, the big baby.

“Oh nobody too important, just the most powerful and influential being in all multiverse. Some of you might know him by his monikers like the First Champion, the Balancer, the High King and the Great One.” He said flippantly as he pretended to check his nails, trying his absolute best to hid his smug smile when he noticed Zatara and Fate going rigid and pale.

Zatara near stumbled thanks to his shaking knees. He took couple faltering steps towards the Champion of Magic. His expression mix of reverence and fear as started to whisper as if dreading that someone or something might hear him if he spoke too loudly.

“Y-You couldn’t possibly mean King-”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence for they all felt the change in the air, in the ground.

He has arrived.

Time came to a crawl, the world slowed it’s movements in face of approaching force. It quaked, it trembled, it slithered. Leak becoming a downpour, a tear in reality of sickly green opened above the group, high out of reach. What little light still had remained in the hellish landscape around them were drained as if all the world’s shadow congregated around the opening to greet its master like a deprived servant. Then a figure of black and white caped in light seemingly holy, descended from it. Even from afar they could distinguish their towering form who’s muscles failed to hide under its full-body armor. Their mountainous presence becomes more and more apparent the closer they came. What they thought as wings of pure and white was actually a cape of moving light.

Blazing green eyes as that of the tear gazed upon them from under their moonlight hair, which coupled with the iron grown of flames created figures of shadow dancing across their hardened features as if to praise their beholder’s glory.

Zatara had already collapsed on the ground in utter disbelieve. All the myths and legends were true all along.

“King Phantom.” He spoke in awe and bowed before the king as did equally shocked Doctor Fate.

“Hi dad!” Marvel yelled and dragged the laughing magician by his coat to greet their new arrival.

All of their associates looked between the clear powerhouse of a being and their red heavy hitter in utter incredulity at the revelation. Zatara and Fate near had a heart attack at the way their magical colleague addressed the mythical presence. Marvel had a father? And this horrifying existence was it? What sent them reeling even more was how the king’s responded.

With his arms stretched he lowered himself fully to gather the two smaller men in his embrace.

“Kids! Boy, when you said that you needed help bad I think you might have underestimated a tiny bit.” He joked with a toothy smile as he moved to get a better look at his more-or-less willing captees of his affection. His expression softened even more at the face of Constantine, not the others could see.

“John, it’s so good to see you as well.” He said softly and ruffled both of their hairs, eliciting a laugh from his youngest and indignant pout from his fourth oldest who tried to swat the offending hand away.

“Whatever.” John growled but Phantom didn’t mind since he could see the blush caking his scratched up cheeks.

Now this drew his attention, both of his boys were in horrendous shape and he would do something about it after his job was completed. Looking at the blood willed sky no longer colored by his green and the burning wreckage that is this dimensions earth, he knew he didn’t have much time.

“I suppose we should get this over with then. You two better get back to the Keep after this, understood.” He stated and then was gone just like that.

Now that the oppressive feeling of death and power has left along with the godly being, every single one of the heroes present turned to the two for explanation. Marvel send a pleading look towards his brother, but John pointedly turned away and began to nurse his briefly forgotten drink which was now empty, damn you dad.

Discreetly gulping his nerves down he twirled to face his peers.

“Okay, let’s start with one question at a time please.”

This caused the floodgates to open and Zatara practically jumped him in his feverishness.

“You are a son of King Phantom? The King Phantom? I thought he was nothing more than a myth! A legend told through out several histories!”

As Marvel was trying to dislodge the man he was approached by Doctor Fate.

“I too held the believe that he was nothing more than a story to strike fear onto the forces of evil and to aspire heroes of both old and new. To think he was real this entire time.” He mused, and before Marvel could say anything, Flash barged in as well.

“And what about you John? This might be the first time I’ve seen any otherworldly being be happy to see you.” He pointed at the man who chose to wisely stay far behind.

“Fuck you too!” Shouts the offended man from the back. Even if it’s true doesn’t make it any less rude. And oh look here comes Batman.

“Enough! Marvel, explain.” He demands as he moves effortlessly to the front of the pack.

“Well… you see-” Marvel stammers as he tries under the pressure to come up with something to say but was thankfully saved by the sky shifting again.

As quick as a snap the red sky was returned to its blue color, signaling the King’s victory over his enemy. Marvel smiled widely and even John couldn’t stop a heavy sigh of relieve from escaping his mouth. Good old dad, always up to any task he comes across.

“Incredible.” Wonder Woman gasped, even Lantern had to give an impressed eyebrow at the instant change in atmosphere. And while everyone was distracted by his dad’s handiwork, Marvel shimmied his way to the grumpy magician who was in progress of making his getaway.

“I think we should continue this some other time, there’s a lot of cleaning up to do and me and my bro need to do a little house call. So bye!” He called out with a wave as he was crabbed and transported to their destination before anyone could stop them.

Others could do more than blink as Batman stewed in his place. In Lantern’s arms Superman began to stir.

“H-huh, what did I miss?”

#dp x dc fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #dc x dp crossover #dp x dc #dc x dp #captain marvel #john constantine #batman #wonder woman #green lantern #flash #superman #martian manhunter #black canary #dear father fanfic #danny phantom #doctor fate #zatara #king danny phantom #god danny phantom #op danny phantom #justice league #dad danny phantom #ghost king danny phantom #danny adopts john constantine #danny adopts billy batson

[beiasluv]

tis the dilf season | j. button (22)

a/n: ignore the timeline cuz it’s a mess (I actually tried to do the maths) enjoyy 🤭

yourinsta

liked by fernondoalo_official, aussiegrit and 482,167 others

yourinsta and the summer break begins! thank you everybody for this amazing season, it has been an honor to work as your engineer this season and looking forward to the next!

view all 254,156 comments

jensonbutton ❤️

liked by yourinsta

aussiegrit buy jenson some sunscreen, please.

yourinsta 😭 on it

lewishamilton 👊 thank you

yourinsta back to you 🫶

username yn try not to post your man challenge, she failed.

username PLEASE

username I come back to this post religiously everyday

username what am I supposed to watch now that my favorite grid is off for their summer break 😭

username PLEASEEE I need yn and jenson radio for life 😩

username this post was like 6 years ago????

username HE WAS 37!!! SHE WAS JUST BARELY in her 20s

username they didn’t date yet 🤷‍♀️

username Maybe because he WAS planning on it. creeps me out ngl

username shut up. I love my dilf and gen z duo

yourinsta

liked by lewishamilton, jensonbutton and 386,627 others

yourinsta wdym you guys won’t play mermaids with us??? 👎

view all 96,510 comments

jensonbutton I deeply apologise. dinner, my treat.

yourinsta deal 😊🫶

username OMFG??? IT WAS NOT EVEN A QUESTION

username BRO who doesn’t play mermaids?

username duh, it’s childish asf

username blocked. bye.

username YN IS ON A HOLIDAY WITH JENSON AND MARK???

username she’s just using them to get her mclaren engineering position 🤷‍♀️

username their age gap is questionable

username EXCUSE ME?? have you seen the last 5 years of F1 championships? yeah, that’s miss girly there. stay mad, boohoo

username are we, as a SOCIETY, expecting a dilf to play mermaids?

username Yes. Stay mad

username OBVIOUSLY

yourinsta’s story

reply

jensonbutton: what is a 0.5? also, garage in 10 minutes, darling.

: it’s a secret 🤭

: okieee

jensonbutton: quickly then ♥️

f1gossips

liked by username, username and 37,101 others

f1gossips yn ln was seen entering the paddock and completing her track walk for the mclaren team grand prix this weekend. jenson button not spotted near or anywhere today.

admin, reported.

view all 5,751 comments

username miss gurl came straight back from summer break to work, grind that grind gurl.

username she’s just doing her job?

username you hatin for no reason??

username THE ENGINEER IS BACK IN DA HOUSE

username she’s everything and he’s just a ken 🤷‍♀️

username I’ll take jenson any day if she doesn’t want him 😩

username GIRL IKRR

username PLEASE TELL ME MY PARENTS ARE STILL TOGETHER

username somebody TELL ME why jenson is wearing a fireproof in yn’s story???

username exactly!! I thought he is still doing sky news

username GURL PLEASE TELL ME JENSON IS COMING BACK THIS SUNDAY

username I manifestt 😩 it’s wednesday, we can still do ittt

username NOT WITH THE OLD FIREPROOF AND EVERYTHING IN HER STORY 🗣🗣

jensonbutton

liked by mclaren, yourinsta and 696,517 others

jensonbutton it’s great to be back on the grid. (and to be working with my favourite engineer again. ♥️) yourinsta

view all 211,503 comments

yourinsta thank you, mr. button ✌️

username mrs. button when??

liked by jensonbutton

username SHUT THE FUCK UP. HE LIKED IT

username jenson returning as a driver WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD

username IKRRR (I manifested it, yw guys)

yourinsta

liked by aussiegrit, jensonbutton and 503,871 others

yourinsta happy birthday to my (second) favorite news reporter and some driver I guess 🤭 aussiegrit !!

thanks for taking care of my brit! have fun in the retirement gang, hope to see you soon!

view all 217,003 comments

aussiegrit cheers! 😁

yourinsta 🫶

username she can’t even post a happy birthday post without jenson 🙄

username ikr? give some respect

username tell me you’re new without tell me you’re new

username Exactlyyy. it has been the longest running joke that mark’s the third wheel. why are y’all getting mad for nothing 🤷‍♀️

jensonbutton

liked by yourinsta, sebastianvettel and 472,106 others

jensonbutton pretty sure it was her idea.. (love you ♥️)

view all 186,401 comments

yourinsta it was mark’s 😔✊

jensonbutton you’re kidding, darling

yourinsta 🤭 maybe

username couples do couples poseee

username she’s definitely pr training him for lifeee

username if they break up idk what to do

username I’ll take him any day GURLL 🤭

username I need someone to call me darling like Jenson does

yourinsta’s story

reply

yourinsta

liked by jensonbutton, danielricciardo and 452,627 others

yourinsta race dump, and you’re welcome for the surprise guest this weekend 😚

view all 216,016 comments

username EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU MISS GURL

okay…I started simping for him because of a tiktok edit 🤷‍♀️

like, reblog, COMMENTT if you liked it 😚 if not, then why not?

today’s a great day to take care of yourself!!

#formula 1 #f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 imagines #f1 x reader #charles leclerc imagines #jenson button #jenson button x reader #jenson button imagine #Jenson button imagines #Jenson button smau #Jenson button x you #f1 smau #f1 imagine #f1 fic #lando norris x you #lando norris imagines #charles leclerc imagine #formula 1 smau #formula 1 imagines #formula one #fanfiction #smau #mclaren #jb22

[heyhihellosworld]

𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭

Lando Norris x reader

Word count: 5.3k

Summary: An innocent round of golf with your friend's friends turns into a wirlwind of emotions and feelings

Warnings: Golf written by a no golf-fan, smut, fluff

Notes: Landoo again... I was going to write it about Charles but then it was golf, and Alex so it became a Lando one again but he has kinda grown on me, not gonna lie. As always it's gone a bit long...

"Okay, that was just bad y/n" Lily teased, bumping her hip with yours as she went past to gather her ball. "Shut up Lily!" you pouted following her example and picking up the ball that was laid close to the hole but not in it. Typically.

"It's not my fault you haven't trained enough sweetie" she mocked, her expression playful and teasing as you just huffed. "How the fuck have you had so much time training huh? You've been traveling with Alex for months now" you asked, baffled how she could accuse you for not training enough.

"Well we have played together, and even though Alex is not big competition it's still practice, plus some of his friends are slightly better"

"Well I've tried to train as much as possible but you know I have another work" you hummed, slightly envying her lifestyle. "I know y/n and I'm only teasing you, It's just fun to make you envious"

"Yeah it's so fun to stand in the café when you send me pictures of you and Alex on track or when you are swimming, who swims in November?"

Lily giggled as you walked side by side, dragging your carts behind you. Decided it was more fun to walk together than driving a car.

"It's not November cold there, it's hotter than summer so of course we will swim and why not tease you with it?"

"Because it's mean?" you suggested but Lily only laughed, shrugging her shoulders.

"I think it's fine, plus I invite you to come with sometimes"

"I know, but-"

"You work, I understand that" she smiled gently, knowing you needed the money to have a place to live and study.

"Anywaaays" she drawled out, her eyes telling you what she was gonna ask you and you shook your head immideately. "No Lily, don't even suggest it"

"Why not! They are all coming here next week for break, well all that lives in Monaco of course and Alex already invited me for a game, just... join. Once. It could be a nice break from work"

Your head shook through all of her words, telling her no no NO

But she didn't listened, Lily never did. She was stubborn like that.

"Once"

"No, I don't want to meet these people"

"Why not y/n, why not. Also you've already met them!"

"Because-" "Because what?" she interupted making you groan "Because. It would be weird!" you exclaimed, making her giggle

"Is this because of Lando?"

Her eyes gleamed with teasing and laughter. Her tried serious face failing miserably.

"No"

"Oh it is, it is" she giggled, poking you in the side, completely ignoring your deathglare as she continued to giggle

"It's not about him, it just... it would be really awkvard"

"Because of Lando?" "Because of Lando and all the others"

"I think it's more because of a certain brit who slid into your Dm's"

"Well okay that will be awkvard as hell, especially since I didn't even answer" Lily laughed, a light laugh that made you smile even though you didn't want to, this was a seruous thing.

"I think you're fine sweetie" "No I am not going"

-

The chatter continued through the whole round, your play slowly picking up, after all it had been long since you last played a whole round like this.

The one thing that didn't get better was Lily's nagging and by the time you stood at the parking lot, waiting for Alex to pick you up for lunch you were going insane.

"Alex tell your girlfriend to shut up"

Alex's eyes went wide as he looked between you, Lily giggling at him, poking her tongue out at you "he would never"

"You are too cute"

"Wha-what?" Alex stammered out, mouth slightly open as he looked between you.

"She has been nagging me the whole time about going with you to play golf"

Alex's eyes lit up and suddenly you regretted telling him that,

fuck

"That's a great idea! It would be so much fun! They love you!"

You let out a groan, glaring at Lily who clapped her hands together in excitment. You felt yourself bend, giving in to their excitment.

"Fine! Fuck you both because why are you always agreeing with each other but fine I will go on ONE golf round with you and if it's awkvard I will decide what we do for the rest of the year"

Both Alex and Lily giggled together over your words and tone, they had won this time.

"Why are you nerovus?" Lily smirked as you climbed into her car, already pouting.

"Stop it already, I will walk back in and lock myself with my tv" you huffed not very threathingly but Lily seemed to take your little threat seriously because she stopped the teasing immideately.

"Well you look cute at least" she smiled, patting your leg reasuringly "And I promise it will be fun, they are all cool to be around even if you don't know them too well which by the way is incredible seeming as your best friend is dating a driver"

You smiled at her, shrugging "It just never interested me that much, it's cool sure but I don't really think the men are the interesting part of it"

"I think you can change your mind, they are all nice enough"

"I have met some!" you defended and she sniggered "Yeah right, George because that went so well?"

"Stop it, he will not be there tody will he?"

By her face you knew he would before she hesitantly admitted it, "Maybe he will" she winced and you groaned

"Nooo, Lily! This was awkvard enough with Lando! Now George as well"

"It's fine, he didn't seem to hate you after it" "Lily, do you not remember?! I literally said he looked like a Ken and turned him down when he asked me on a date, that is awkvard as hell!"

"Well it was ages ago, plus he has a girlfriend now, it's fine!" Lily waved you off and you couldn't do anything but to pout about it.

-

"Where is the girls?" Alex questioned as he walked out towards the small group on the green grass, clubs and carts ready, smiles on their faces and caps on top of their heads. It was a sunny day, the warmth burning their bare arms and legs as they waited.

"I haven't seen Lily" George shrugged, it wasn't especially often both Alex and Lily joined the small golf cirlce on the grid but when they did it was always loud complaints because Lily always won.

"Did I not tell you that y/n is joining as well?"

"No bro, what the fuck" Lando murmured, his hand combing through his curls before putting the cap on again. "Fuck it's gonna be awkvard"

"Why would it be awkard?"

"Uh-I I kinda slid into her dms telling her she was pretty and all but she never responded"

An echo of laughter spilled from the group but Lando wasn't amused in the slightest "Welcome to the club man, I think soon all of us has been rejected by her some time in life" "Really?"

"She told me I looked like Ken and I qoute 'no thank you' when I asked her on a date and Carlos here tried to charm her with Spanish but she physically nudged him away and even Charles didn't manage to get her number, but to his defence she was with her ex then"

"So I'm not the only one at least?" Lando hummed, feeling a bit less awkvard at the revealation.

"For sure not" Alex smiled, patting his shoulder as he spotted the girls finally, smiling gently at your nervous look.

-

It went better than expected, nothing too awkvard and nothing horrendous happening even though it's awkvard enough to meet with the three guys you rejected in some ways but they were nice enough to brush it off and have a good time with you and Lily, after all the attempts from both Carlos and George had been a long time ago. What was a dread became a fun afternoon of mixed great and awful swings and laughter.

-

"So, the guys says you've rejected half the grid?"

Lando's voice brought you out of your concentration of watching Alex put. His eyes looking gently at yours, his skin crinkling around his eyes as he smiled wide. "Do they now?" you smiled back, shrugging your shoulders

"I wouldn't say I have rejected all of them, more... lack of interest and all of them have given up straight away. But some I did reject directly, sure"

"Like George?"

You couldn't help but giggle "Like George yeah"

"What about me? Was it a direct rejection or lack of interest?"

The question was sincere, serious and it caught you of guard. You had actually never meant to ignore Lando's dm but after you'd opened it it kind off just disapeared in your memory until it seemed too weird to answer it.

"I guess lack of interest"

"So does that mean you will go on a date with me if I show more interest?"

You grinned, teeth showing as you shrugged with a smile

The idea didn't oppose you, you kinda liked how direct he was, straight to the point. He didn't look bad, not at all. He was extremely hot with his bright smile and brown curls dripping into colourful eyes. You pondered it a little, date? It seemed inocent enough but was it?

Your lips pouted in thought as you met his eyes again "If you win the next hole I'll go to dinner with you"

"Really?" Lando smiled so brightly it made you chuckle "Sure" you grinned, winking at him as you walked ahead.

-

He was not bad, you had to give him that but you were better there was no question about it. However you seemed to slack on this hole, bad first hit-mainly because of Lando's distractions- made it one more swing than Lando in total, something the Brit celebrated in earnest.

He was so happy he could start skipping and it made the blow soften a little. You did want to go on a date with him afterall so in a way it didn't feel like a loss.

The whole round went the same, chatting and joking. Observing the Brit every given second, trying to play it off before repeating it.

It was not subtle but you didn't try to be either. He was nice to rest your eyes on, so you did.

When the round came to an end and you all stood at the parking lot, chatting and joking about the just played round Lando pulled you away slightly, smiling small as he combed his hand through his curls.

"Hey, you think I can get your number?"

Your eyes snapped up to his, lips pulling into a sly smirk. "Sure"

"Really?" he asked with suprise

You laughed softly, shrugging "I did agree on a date did I not? It would seem weird to not give you my number" Lando chuckled "Sure"

Despite your reluctance to go in the first place it turned out to be a common thing in the next couple of weeks. You felt yourself growing fond of the guys and spending time with Alex and Lily was always fun.

After Lando's win you had decided on a date weeks forward, why so far away you didn't know but apparently it had something to do with his training schedules and something around the topic. You didn't bother.

Regardless you felt a sear of hapiness everytime you saw his brown curls amongst the group. Usually hearing his gorgous laugh before you laid eyes upon him. But the sear of hapiness was nothing against the rumble of disapointment you felt whenever he wasn't there. Trying to mask the disapointment was hard.

He texted you. Every day, especially the days you didn't see him. It made your heart almost skip a beat whenever his name popped up on the screen, grumbling at yourself for the stupid reaction.

To keep it short your heart did sommersaults at the mention of him and it was stupid because you were still practically strangers.

He looked like a rom-com perfect date. Black dress pants and a dark button up. His curls were styled, not overly much but still enough to not flop around everywhere and he sported a warm, comfortable smile as he waited.

You felt giddy, something you hated but it was inevitable. His face lit up as he saw you striding towards him, eyes glittering in the dim light of the lobby.

"You look gorgous" he smiled, a line you deemed cheesy, something everyone said but it still made your heart skip a beat. Because it was Lando.

"Thank you" you smiled, kissing his cheek softly, loving the way his face flushed at the action, a sudden shyness taking over the usually confident guy.

Lando tried to compose himself as he led you out the door, smiling softly as you jumped into the car.

You had decided for a simple dinner date. Eating at a small comfortable place where you hopefully could be alone to just talk, get to know eachother in private and focus only on you, not the other idiots you called friends.

Lando's restuarant choice didn't disapoint. You had agreed on not going to any fine dining or exclusive super place but a normal cozy place. And he had done well. Booked a private table in a extremely cozy little restuarant. Red velvet sofas with dark wood tables and dim lit candles. It gave a homey feeling and your table seemed to be the furthest away from everyone else's giving you the perfect lone time you could posssibly find in Monaco.

"Wow, I didn't think you would manage this well"

Lando snorted, looking almost offended as you giggled at his face. "What?"

"Well not to bring you down but this is Monaco after all, it's an fine dining country"

Lando tilted his head, that was true and to be completely honest he couldn't take all the credit. He had gotten some, well, a lot of help from Lily and Alex to find the best spot possible for you but you didn't have to know that.

"I'm happy you like it" he said instead, smiling dumbly at you in a way that made you have to smile back.

"I do, it's great" you nodded as he poured up some water in the glass in front of you"

He was so easy to be around, silence never uncomfortable, talk never pushed. It flew naturally like you had known the guy for years. He made you laugh so loudly even the personel seemed to pick up on it, his flattering seemed to make you blush endlessly and his stories made you intruiged.

You loved how easily he was telling you about formula one, how he spoke to you easily about it, not complexing the sport you knew very little about. You loved how he trusted you with more private stories, loving how his eyes turned into hearts as he talked about his family and their support. But what you loved the most was how easy he fell apart under you. One comment and his cheeks turned a deep pink colour, eyes fleeting away from yours as a choked sound made it past his lips with a giggle.

To put it shortly the date was amazing, making you feel the same flutter you had felt every time you had seen his curly head on the golf course or everytime his name had popped up on your phone this last weeks.

It was riddicolous, you knew that but it didn't stop the spiralling feelings and flutter in your tummy.

After a heated discussion about Alex's golfing skills you left the restuarant, sated and full of the warm belly-filling food the place had provided. Lando had blushingly asked you if you wanted to go to his apartment, to 'watch a movie or something' and you had accepted, not caring what that would include or not just not wanting to seperate from him yet.

The walk was short, Lando's laughter filling the air of Monaco and lightning it up as you walked along the darkening streets.

His apartment was nothing short of amazing, not because you had thought differently. He was a formula one driver after all but still. It was a lot bigger than yours, not to bring down your own place which you loved, but this was the next level.

"Wow, this view is fantastic" you mumbled, going straight past him to look at the view of Monaco from his window. He had not put a lot of effort into decorating, something you deemed fine since he barely was here anyway but the space still looked nice. Modern as hell, but nice.

"Wow, just walk right through me why don't you" he muttered sarcastically making you huff out a laugh as you tore your eyes away from the view. "Sorry but this is... remarkable"

"And I am not?"

"Well I can't see the whole of Monaco in you can I?"

"I don't think you have even tried, have you?"

You giggled, poking his chest teasingly as he stood in the open room. His coat and shoes discarded, revealing his great looking button-up once again. "Fuck you look good in this" you hummed, teasing your finger on his first button on his shirt.

"Mhm, is that how it is miss y/n?"

You peeled your eyes off his gorgous shape and looked him in the eyes, the orbs screaming with cockiness and a hidden smirk.

"Been thinking all evening off what's underneath it" you admitted, letting your eyes travel again "I invited you here to watch a movie, but you have such dirty thoughts" he tutted jokingly "Sure" you scoffed, smiling at him

"A movie was what you were thinking"

Lando didn't answer, just gave you a giggly smile you reciprocrated.

His lips met yours in an instant, moving softly and slowly against yours, no hurry just savouring the moment. His lips were soft against yours, following you as you tilted your head slightly.

When you broke apart that was it, no itchy hands on each other no intention to do anything more right now. Both just sated to have shared that. Instead you took a step back. Grinning at the brunette as you walked around the sofa and plopping down in the comfortable furniture. “What’s the movie then?”

Lando smiled, not sitting next to you but leaning over the back of the sofa to get closer to you. “Whatever you want, you choose. Do you want something to drink?”

“Okay, uhm yes please, I take whatever you do” you smiled softly before reaching for the tv remote. Scrolling through the many apps and channels he had to pick a movie.

-

The movie was meh, not interesting enough to take your mind off the guy next to you but not boring enough to stop.

Lando kept on joking with you, straight up teasing you during the movie. Hands moving down your body, not in a overly sexual way but the way he cracked a joke, or a dirty comment made you boil with need and hotness.

It didn't take long until you broke. Shuffling up in the sofa, catching his gaze as you watched him with need in your eyes. His own eyes gleaming with cockiness and success. Watching his eyes were enough, scootching over you straddled his lap, catching him with slight surprise as you pushed your lips against his, needy and rough.

However it didn't take him even a second to respond to the kiss, battling for control, tongues fighting and hands gripping wherever they could reach.

Neediness pooled in your stomach but you kept it in control, not wanting to let him have all the control. "Fuck y/n" he sighed, leaning his head back over the couch as you pulled apart for a moment.

"Bedroom?" he smirked, one eyebrow raising and if you wouldn't want this so bad you would scoff at his expression but it was also Lando, you would not excpect any less from him.

Instead you nodded, letting him lead you to his bedroom which was just as gorgous as his livingroom. Big windows with view over Monaco, a few pictures on the wall and nice furnitures.

However he didn't let you spend a lot of time looking at the decor, instead towering over you, attacking you with his lips.

"I usually don't agree on doing these things on the first date" you hummed against his skin, his smile warming your heart even more. "Well technically I wouldn't count this as a first date because I feel like I know you by now"

You giggled "You are really full of it aren't you?"

His smile was so achingly sweet, made butterflies swarm in your belly and overflow with adoration.

You leaned up, catching his mouth with your again, kissing him slowly and affectionately, hand scratching on his scalp and luring out a soft sound from him which only made your heart beat faster.

Heat bloomed in your stomach, desire to touch him and make him feel good took over your thoughts as you kissed down his jaw, hands gently sliding under his shirt.

His muscles tensed under your cold fingertips, feeling out his sculpted stomach and muscles, gently rubbing over his nipples before trailing down towards his v-line and then back up again.

His mouth had dropped open slightly, eyes following your every move as he breathed hard, small noises tumbling out of him whenever your hands rubbed over his nipples or teased his pant-line, frustration bubbling in the small grunts and huffs as you took your time, feeeling him up, memorizing every part of his skin under your fingers.

When he had had enough he ripped the buttons open in a hurry before tugging it right off his body, throwing it away before he roughly guided your face to his again, wanting, no needing to kiss you.

The kiss was rough, heated and a battle of control. A battle you won as he pulled back and locked eyes with yours. His pretty eyes was glazed over with pure desire, visable in every centimeter of his body. In the way his shoulders tensed, body heaved and eyes glazing over.

You looked as he unbottoned his pants before tugging them off, taking a seat on his bed with an open invation dangling in the air. An invitation you took.

Two short steps and his hands enveloped you, pushing you against his hot body, limbs and breaths entangled as you sat straddled on his lap. His hands ran all over you, ripping your shirt off your body, your skirt bundling up around your hips as they moved against him.

His hot hands settled on your thighs, eyes not seeming able to leave were your panties where showing, sliding against his boxers.

When he met your eyes again you slid off his lap to the floor, loving the way his eyes widened and mouth opened as you settled on your knees, prompting him to sit up better on the edge of the bed.

Hands teasing over his boxers before his patience ran out. Eager fingers pushing yours away to discard the item. You couldn't help but to giggle at him, eyes narrowing him down "Eager much?" "Shut up" he grumbled, visably relived over the freedom he know had.

Your eyes slowly looked him up and down, completely naked in front of you, so easily and comfortable displayed on the bed. Not an ounce of embarrasment or selfconciousness, with all right.

He was gorgous from head to toe, his legs tense placed on the floor, hands gripping the bedsheet, arms flexing his toned muscles, chest heaving, his sculpted body, muscles showing, abs glistening, his face already looking fucked out despite having barely even started. His brown curls were a wirlwind of chaos, eyes looking at you with so much attention and focus, dick standing proudly against his stomach. He looked dreamy. Drool worthy.

When he grunted you realized how long you had been staring at him, clearing your head you stood up only to crawl out of your skirt and brah before dropping to your knees again. Hand immideately reaching for his hard dick.

It was already leeking pre-cum, a result of the teasing you had been keeping up for long now. You jerked him slowly, relishing in the way his eyes fluttered, not knowing where to look, eyes flickering between your newly revealed skin, eyes and to where your hand was currently moving over him.

A groan left Lando's lips as you thumbed his tip, hips jerking to try to savour the feeling but you didn't let him instead leaning forward to lick a bold stripe from base to tip. The sounds he let out was filfthy eyes closing, mouth agape. You could probably cum just looking at him.

"Fuck y/n" he grunted, hips jerking slightly, trying to get your tongue closer to him again and you let him, swirling your tongue over his tip before taking him in your mouth, slowly sinking down until you couldn't anymore.

You set a brutal pace, hand twirling around his base whilst your mouth sloppily worked over his tip, messily running your tongue on the underside of his dick every now and then.

He had lost the little control he had, groaning and moaning without a care, his head thrown back and hips thrusting desperately. You knew he was close without him having to say it and when he started to jerk more promiment you stopped, letting go of his dick with a pronographic pop.

He whined

He fucking whined and you felt like you were on fire. He was so sexy, so fucking sexy and you couldn't let it go. Desperation flowing in your core as you looked up at him, no shields from what you felt.

"Come up here" he whispered, his hand on your cheek guiding you up to his lips, gently flipping you into the matress, his body covering yours. A sudden gentleness taking over the whole sitatuion as he peppered kissed over your body. Moving from face down to your core. Licking over your nipples, gently sucking your skin, licking over your navel, inner thighs. Teasing you just like you had with him, delicate fingers peeling your underwear off.

When his mouth ghosted over your core you jerked, hands finding his curls pulling them like nothing else mattered.

He was skillfull, more so than you had imagined as he ate you out. Tongue moving, fingers holding, lips sucking, murmurs traveling through your body.

You moaned, thighs clenching around his head. The Brit let out a soft chuckle at your reaction, relishing in the way your eyes fluttered and body arched under his tongue but it didn't stop him from diving straight in. Licking and sucking until all you could do was pant.

He didn't let you come, the whimper on your lips disapearing as you bit your lip, hips chasing his mouth, another chuckle. A mocking one.

He didn't have much resolve left, eyes searching yours before positioning himself, gently pushing in as you nodded, too much excitment.

His head in the nape of your neck breathed hard against your collarbone, barely containing the lewd sounds escaping his soft lips, setting a gentle slow pace.

"Ah"

"Fuck baby" he groaned, meeting your hips with his making the friction tenfold. It felt like your head was swimming with emotions, moans you didn't even notice tumbled from your lips, sweet like sugar, filthy as few.

His hands hooked under your legs, drawing you even closer to him, using the hold to go harder, deeper and it felt like you would black out, eyes closing as he pounded into you. Eyebrows frowning in concentration as he tried to focus his thrusts.

"Feel good hm?"

It felt all too much, body squirming to get away from him, away from his thrusts touching your most sensitive places. Away from the overwhelming pleasure but he didn't let you. Just held you in place as he continued and you were positive you would soon start to sob.

"Fuck you take it so good" he grunted, hands tightening on your hips, pace never relenting, you couldn't answer just moan at his words. You couldn't in your life imagine him being this good in bed, nor so good at dirty talk, so hot.

"You close?" he mumbled, his hips starting to jerk slightly as he got closer to his release, keeping a hold on himself. "Hm?" he pushed as you didn't answer him, head spinning. "Yes, yes so close" you mumbled, positively trashing on the soft sheets.

It came fast and hard, blindingly so as you fell over the edge. Body crumbling, mouth open in silent moans. Lando came immideately, loud groans escaping his lips before he could stop himself, eyes dropped close, jaw slack. His eyes burning with pleasure and adoration, curls slick of sweat on his forhead, body heaving. He looked so gorgous you never wanted to forget this, wanting to etch this picture in your brain.

You felt spent to your very core as you relaxed, Lando's body covering yours once again but this time in a soft manner.

Falling asleep had never felt so easy as it did in his arms, his soft calm breaths tickling your cheek, arms wrapped around you thightly.

"Wow y/n! What has happened with you?" Lily giggled, watching as you did the perfect swing, the ball landing exceptionally close to the hole. "How much have you practiced?"

You grinned at her, raising one eyebrow, shoulders shrugging. "Not that much"

Lily didn't reply but her eyes held so many words you didn't want to reply to. So many questions danced behind her irises, smile saying it all.

"Maybe it's just the extra energy?"

"Don't start" you grumbled, pushing her to make her swing but she didn't, stubborn to say what she wanted to and at this ocassion she wanted to tease you to crumbles. "What, I mean I haven't pointed it out yet but let's talk about hickies huh? What is this y/n, are we back to being teenagers?"

You horrid face made Lily crumble in laughter, almost dropping her cart in the commotion. Your hand instinctively went up to your neck, grimazing as you did so. "That little prick!" you exclaimed, shaking your head as Lily continued to laugh.

When the laughter sobered off you turned to look at her again, a warm smile now etched on her face. "But hey, y/n. I'm really happy for you, he is a great guy and all that matters for me is that you are happy" "Aw, going soft on me now Lils?" "Maybe? I just always wanted what's best for you" she said softly

"I know" you smiled, throwing your arm around her shoulders as you continued walking

"But If you say anything to Alex about this!" you half heartedly threathened making her laugh, head leaning against yours.

#f1 imagine #f1 imagines #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #f1 #mclaren #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fanfiction #lando norris imagine #lando norris imagines #lando norris oneshot #lando norris fluff #lando norris smut #Lando Norris #lando no rizz

[theemporium]

Foreplay with norstappen when lando cums in his pants and is a bit embarrassed but y/n and max assure him they find it hot

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

It was hot. 

So unbelievably fucking hot that it made his head spin. His body felt like it was on fire, his cheeks were burning up and he couldn’t tear his dazed eyes away from the sight in front of him. He didn’t think he ever wanted to look at anything else again.

Maybe it was the stress of the upcoming season. Maybe it was the fact he had been away in England for the last week because of meetings and factory visits. Maybe it was because Lando was a simple man with simple desires, and everything in front of him was a wet dream come to life. 

Or maybe Lando was just really fucking weak when it came to you and Max. 

He had landed not even a few hours ago, finally coming back home to your shared flat after a week of messages and late night calls. He wanted you. He wanted Max. He just wanted to be at home with his people again. 

And somewhere between the greeting kisses and murmured catch-ups with a show playing on in the background, Lando found himself sprawled across the bed with you on top of him, hips rolling and grinding down on his painfully hard dick. Max was behind you, his fingers threaded through your hair as he tugged your head back so he could kiss you. 

Lando tried to hold himself back. He tried to grip the sheets beneath him and think about anything except the scene in front of him, but your hips kept rolling and Max was moaning into your mouth and he just couldn’t help himself. 

He let out a pathetic whimper as a rush of pleasure ran down his spine, hot and white and breath-taking. His face burned in embarrassment when he realised what he had just done, and now he wanted to be anywhere but near you and Max.

“Stop, stop, stop,” he exclaimed, catching both you and Max off-guard as he lifted you off his lap before he pushed past the two of you to try and make it to the bathroom.

“Lando?” Your brows furrowed together as you reached for him but he jerked away from the contact. “Babe, what’s wrong? Are you okay? What happened?”

“I–” Lando closed his eyes when he felt hot, shameful tears well up on his lash line. “It’s nothing. I’m fine. I just…I need a sec, okay?”

You shot Max a look, your concern only growing tenfold.

“We can stop, it’s fine,” Max murmured as he took a step closer to the boy, his hand resting on the Brit’s back. “Just tell us how we can help.”

Lando let out a low groan as he covered his face with his hands. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You can tell us anything, baby, you know we would never judge,” you murmured as you stood up off the bed, moving closer to your boys.

“I—” Lando paused as he let his shoulders drop, turning to face the two of you as he tried not to wince at his next words. “I…finished.”

You both stared at him. “Okay, and?”

“And it’s embarrassing!” Lando retorted, his cheeks flushed a pretty pink colour. “Look, let’s just not talk about this ever again and pretend it never happened—”

“Lando,” you called on him softly, stepping forward to take his face in your hands so he couldn’t turn away. “I was humping your dick, I’d be more offended if you didn’t come.”

“But…I usually do better than that,” he muttered. 

“You haven’t seen us or touched us for a week,” Max reminded him. “You missed us. It happens. It’s hot. It’s no big deal.”

“It’s not hot, it’s embarrassing,” Lando grumbled. 

“I agree with Max,” you said as you wound your arms around his neck. “It’s hot, baby. It's so hot that you can't help yourself.”

Lando gulped slightly.

“Do you like watching us?” Max murmured as his fingers gripped Lando’s chin, turning his face to look at him. “Answer me.”

“Yes,” he whispered his confession. 

“Knew you were a little freak,” you teased jokingly as you nosed his jaw. “Do you wanna keep watching? Wanna watch Max absolutely ruin me?”

Lando’s eyes fluttered shut. “I—”

“Words,” Max reminded him, his voice a little sterner this time.

“Yes,” Lando whined. “Please, I just…please.”

You grinned as you glanced at Max before turning your attention back to your other boyfriend. “Anything for our good boy.”

.

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