#shut up im funny

[brooklynsspiderman]

I havent drank water all year

#shut up im FUNNY #dad jokes are only funny when i make them #yes it is jan 3rd #no i will not drink water #miles morales #spiderman #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #spidersona #roleplay #rp

[bad-analysis]

Can you imagine if every muscle in your body worked like your tongue

#Analogy #wtf #i need serious help #lol #funny #meme #haha #shut up im funny

[beck-nightengale]

This was way too much effort for a stupid ass 11-second long gag, but it occurred to me while editing that Jade is a Nehrim desert baby, has probably never seen real snow before, and would therefore lose her damned mind over seeing it for the first time and this immediately popped into my head.

Meanwhile my man Jespar over there, being like

...and probably regretting ever deciding to travel with this woman.

#enderal forgotten stories #enderal #jade the prophetess #vynblr #shitposting #shut up im funny #pls clap

[way-too-addicted-to-fandoms]

What did y'all name your devices? My current phone is just "Dakota's phone" (any suggestions for a new name btw?), my computer was actually named by one of the tech people that fixed it once (I think???) so it's called "ROBOTOVERLORD" and I names my bluetooth headphones "Sirens"

#my old phone was named the dawn treader #because then when it was connecting with something it would say the dawn treader was syncing #shut up im funny #in the tags #technology #phones #computers #puns

[thetoaddaddy]

What was your reaction to Naruto and Sasuke blowing each others arm off?

“Woulda been more productive if they just blown each other.”

#toad daddy asks #shut up im funny

[dragonmoma]

Letting my friends and family know I'm clinically depressed with anxiety means not having to mask and being able to make jokes about it

#personal #shut up im funny #i did proceed to cry for like 10 minutes after this but im up now i sat with my mom for a bit and now im eating

[yourdumbdevil]

I told a friend with did that they contained multitudes today, what have you done to brighten this day

#shut up im funny #dissociative identity disorder #psychology

[kazieka]

one of the dumb things i like about flight rising is that you can just dissolve familiars for alchemy ingredients. like what the fuck. some nice centaur comes out of the woods like “I Have Seen Your Deeds And I Submit Myself To Your Clan To Learn About You” and youre just like fantastic. get in the cauldron

#lindsey shut up #flight rising #im sorry this is just so funny to me. a fully sapient creature wants to hang out with your loser dragons so you melt them into muck. #hagfjshfjsgfhv. gently excavates a prehistoric animal from an archeology dig #carefully bundles it into a catapult that launches it directly into a boiling cauldron full of goop

[planetary]

“they will never make an adventure time abt women in their 20s with shitty jobs”

(fionna and cake comes out)

#changed the wording bc no one was reading my tags and kept being like IT WAS ALREADY FOR i know. shut up #sorry i think im funny ok i know regular adventure time is for us too . #fionna and cake #adventure time #chatter🦋

[jjkyaoi]

how different the atla main group and the lok main group are is Still the funniest thing in the world to me. like, the gaang are real sweet best friends, would die for each other and kill for each other, probably, a sprinkle of found family, friendships CAN last more than one lifetime, etc. and then korra has dated literally all of her three best friends. everyone in that group wanted a piece of the avatar’s ass

#im not saying that korra and her friends didn’t have that kind of bond #they DEFINITELY did considering the amount of times they js went to bat for each other #but like. she was romantically entangled w all three of them. she didn’t ever date bolin properly but ykwim #u can say whatever you want about lok as a show but never doubt that korra gets BITCHES #avatar the last airbender #atla #legend of korra #avatar korra #korra #korrasami #the gaang #the history continues of the avatar’s bagging pretty women #the difference in this cld be easily explained by how aang was 12 yrs old for most of the show and when lok started korra was already a #teenager but shut up and let me be funny.

[bytedykes]

[ID: SVSSS fanart of Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge. It's the scene from volume 1 where Liu Qingge is having a qi deviation. He's on the floor, face and clothes splattered with blood. Shen Qingqiu has a hand on his shoulder, and smiles as he says, "You're too hot- I mean too young to die. We should be friends now." Liu Qingge scowls at him, angry and confused, thinking "wtf" repeatedly and with question marks floating around his head. /end ID]

this is basically what happened i think

#really funny how this is like. the lqg introduction scene. can you even imagine what hes feeling rn #anyway this is kind of a study of the original drawing idk #svsss #scum villain's self saving system #shen qingqiu #liu qingge #nik art #misc #the specific part im making a joke of is when sqq says “a beauty fading-- ahem‚ dying so young” like shut the fuck up loser jdhjdskk #liushen #<- I GUESS

[eggsploded]

cant keep their quadrants straight

#the solkat was in fact not out of my system #really funny kismesis dynamic because its not actual real hate rather than a synced temper tantrum between the two #their pitch flirting was pretty weak anyway #i hate myself more than you hate yourself NUH UH and im better at you in smash bros #then karkat meekly asks if theyre still friends and sollux tells him to shut up and boots up a show on discord to watch together #pitch hatred based on the other guy knowing too much about you and caring really hard about your wellbeing and its embarassing #love. its love #homestuck #egg art #solkat #sollux captor #karkat vantas

[unknown-kai]

Big Brain Meme Time

#shut up im funny

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

world's most annoying man is not allowed outside due to his inability to shut up

#AYYYY LIGHTS OUT IS BACK BABEY LETS GO #howdy is Suffering in this au ive come to realize #more so than i previously thought! #he's cooped up in a slightly too small shell of a building #rarely allowed outside bc hes too noisy </3 #mans is desperately Understimmed #wally isnt trying to be harsh hes just asking an honest & earnest question <3 #i have another scribble floating around somewhere of wally putting his hand over howdy's mouth and saying Hush #i think its a funny running joke. everyone is constantly like 'howdy please for the love of fuck. shut up' #he strikes me as the type to talk when nervous. and bored. and excited. hes a talker tell me im wrong #scribble salad #wh lights out au #welcome home au #hes BORED hes with the (objectively) Unfunniest neighbors hes BORED did i mention hes BORED #howdy: *stuffing pouring out of him after getting maimed* this is actually much better than being in the post office #frank: we're going to put you on a leash i swear to fucking god

[the-holy-ghosted]

congrats 2 henry peglar for being the only bitch confirmed as to be Fucking That Old Man

#the heron giveth #the terror #alright here come the funny tags #bridglar #briglar #people spell it both ways i think. ill do both hujst to be safe #henry peglar #john bridgens #uh um um. uh #peglar x bridgens #THIS FEELS WEIRD. TO TYPE #bridgens x peglar #alright im done good GRIEF #this isnt even that extreme compared to the shit people are putting on ao3 about these two. god. #anyways hi ive watched this show maybe 7 or 8 times? only just recently have i gotten hooked on them #the scripts make me go nuts too. ''they were lovers in their pasts'' shut the fuck up dont say that to me ill start crying #this is the most risque thing i have ever posted on here #getting out of the fandom game for a while rewired my brain i have to get weird again. and boy do they make me feel weird ! #i have a number of terror mutuals who r gonna go nuts over this. fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me style #this looks blurry posting it hopefully tumblr doesnt crunch the shit out of the quality anyways im done typing goodbye

[lunarw0rks]

buying an old, secluded house in the scottish highlands, intending on renovating and reselling it. but you find out quickly that it's haunted. like, haunted haunted.

at first, you refuse to believe a man that pretty would be dead. let alone, a nefarious spirit with... questionable intentions.

but, compared to the (literal) horror stories you've heard, spirit!johnny is pretty cordial in his ways of messing with you. always picks up the books he knocks over to startle you, or when you scream at him to give you back your keys, or quit hiding your glasses, dammit

sometimes, when you're in the right mood, you find it comforting to know you're not all alone out in the middle of nowhere. it's not like you can tell your friends and family any details of this. you'll sound downright insane.

you learn to deal with the strong scent of his cologne or the creak of his footsteps (which you only hear because he wants you to, of course).

and—naturally—the feeling of large hands smoothing along your spine, down to your hips, a thumb strumming your lips. possessively, right as sleep engulfs you. the first few times you chalk it up to an erotic fantasy that only surfaces when you're exhausted and bordering on delirium.

however, it proves difficult to rationalize the voice. especially when he knows your name.

#and occasionally his friend appears who is ummmm MASSIVE and /definitely/ scarier #simon thinks its funny to stand behind you in the mirror and disappear right when you notice #hes usually nicer if you set out a cup of tea or cigs for him before bed #you havent heard him talk but sometimes hear a deep chuckle #does this make any fucking sense im experiencing a caffeine crash #do i elaborate or shut the fuck up #unedited #pls spare me #spirit!johnny #spirit!ghoap #[also simon hates you touching his things] #mw2 #call of duty #task force 141 #ghoap #soap mactavish #simon riley #rachel speaks