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piastri-lover · 9 months

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who would have guessed; alex albon

summary: in which you and alex are dropping hints about your relationship, and yet no one seems to be getting the hint

pairing: alex albon x celeb!reader

author's note: i fucking love alex albon and this prompt!! icl i dont know he's so underrated but i enjoyed making this sm xx

INSTAGRAM

yourusername 📍tulum, mexico

liked by pierregasly, zendaya and 17293057 yourusername summer time x view comments

user1 i love y/n so fucking much

user2 wife

user3 are u kidding i was lit in mexico two days ago and NOW the queen is here -user4 lit flew out this morning i could have met my wife

zendaya having fun? ;)) -yourusername don't know what u mean by that --zendaya ill keep my mouth shut

user5 after 3 months of oppenheimer filming y/n prob needs a break -user6 she slayed as jean though --user5 100%

user7 mexico is my country and i'm so glad u love it liked by yourusername -user7 omg y/n liked my comment im done

user8 whos she with -user9 idk but someone def took that 3rd photo

user10 why is pierre in the queen y/n's likes?? -user11 i bet he forgot to switch accounts and liked without thinking --user12 ariana what are u doing here

~~~

TWITTER

~~~

INSTAGRAM

yourusername 📍tulum, mexico

liked by sydney_sweeney, landonorris and 32017295 others yourusername thank u for the restuarant reccomendation, we loved it xx view comments

user13 mother is mothering

user14 she's so fit -user15 that scene in oppenheimer changed me as a person

user16 THERES A BOY -user17 omg omg omg this is not a drill

sydney_sweeney y/n... -yourusername ill call u later and fill u in babe

user18 first pierre, now lando -user19 the entire grid is simping for y/n and tbh i don't blame them

user20 the soft launch is beginning -user21 im so ready to analyse every screenshot to try and work this out first

user22 i need that dress

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

alex_albon replied to your story:

alex_albon ur fans are going wild on twt rn

yourusername really?? i haven't checked

alex_albon mhmm like they havent stopped speculating for hours im sure i saw someone ship u with fucking lando

yourusername he is kinda cute...

alex_albon oy

yourusername im kidding we still going out for dinner tonight??

alex_albon yup its me and you, george and carmen and lando lol

yourusername all good

alex_albon pick u up at 8?

yourusername counting down the minutes baby love u x

alex_albon love u more x

~~~

landonorris

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 4103549 others landonorris my fave couples (im so alone) view comments

user23 umm

user24 lando babe i dont feel like u were supposed to post this

georgerussell63 he's passed out and i dont know his password idk what to do -user25 george are y/n and alex dating??? --georgerussell63 no lando was just feeling a bit silly

user26 george trying to defend alex and y/n when we obv know they're dating

alex_albon i let him take one photo and ofc he does this -yourusername at least we look cute --alex_albon we always look cute baby

user27 i wasnt sure about alex but look they're so wholesome

user28 im j wondering how tf alexander albon pulled the y/n -user29 me too --user30 like nothing against him but y/n is... well y/n

landonorris wait i thought this was my private

landonorris so so sorry -yourusername ur buying me a drink when we next go out --landonorris done and done ---alex_albon my girl has expensive taste lando u have completely shot urself in the foot

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

tagged: alex_albon liked by zendaya, pierregasly and 51294856 othersyourusername lando ruined my softlaunch(🖕🖕) but anyway i kinda love him so be nice xx view comments

user31 no bc theyre acc cute

user32 i hate to have to share my wife but it would be with him

landonorris ive apologised 1000 times idk what more to do -alex_albon she had the entire thing all planned out but no lando norris had to intervene --yourusername honestly im heartbroken i might need another bottle of champagne... ---landonorris fuck off y/n the last bottle was like £1000

alex_albon leng -yourusername appreciate it bro

alex_albon the last photo❤️❤️❤️-yourusername love u big man

user33 omg i hope we get to see her at a grand prix soon -yourusername im def coming to spa and we'll see after that

williamsracing already saving a seat for u -yourusername i cant wait xx

user34 dont know whether i want to be alex or her

user35 bi awakening -user36 fr

user37 sleeping on the highway tonight -landonorris ill be joining u --user38 landos so real for that

763 notes · View notes

husband · 3 years

Text

#shut up im posting screenshots tonight #howl's moving castle #hmc #zero ass jenkins

207 notes · View notes

beigehearts · 3 years

Text

Yandere adult trio: college AU These are drabbles for when they lose their mind and kill the people around you... and kidnaps you

These are going to be a little longer than usual but I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I did when writing it (also im trying out the beta version of the new posting system so lemme know if anything is weird)

Sorry this took me forever bro

CW: murder, blood, physical abuse, alcohol

Hisoka

It's getting quite annoying to be completely honest. He just won't leave you alone, constantly flirting and making passes at you. And yet at the same time he makes fun of you and is actually very mean. It wasn't so bad in the beginning but this is just getting out of hand. You made sure he was aware of this. ---- He's looming over you as he corners you against the wall. You refuse to look up at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

While you aren't looking at him, you can feel him looking at you. You already know he has that annoying grin on his face that makes you want to punch him square in the nose.

He brushes his long fingers against your face, making a quiet humming noise. "Are you ready to give up my pet?"

You ignore his words and slap his hand away from your face. "I need to get to class, move Hisoka."

He frowns though you aren't looking at his face. He opens his mouth to say something when someone from behind him calls out to you. "Hey y/n! Are you okay?"

She walks towards you but before she can get involved you shove the man away and huff. What a nuisance. You turn towards him once you're standing next to your friend and glare at him.

"Leave me alone. It's annoying and it's scaring people. Got it?" Before he can respond you turn on your heels and drag your friend down the hall by her wrist just hoping to put distance between the two of you. ---- You're pretty sure you made it clear that you don't want him near you anymore. But by now you know he doesn't give up so easily. One can only hope that he gets bored of you and finds someone else to bother.

You and your friends went out for brunch earlier, and all was well until Chelsea handed you something. She said that she found it in her bag but it was addressed to you, so you put it in your own bag.

You pour yourself a rum and coke and make yourself comfortable on the couch of your shared apartment. All of your roommates went out for drinks but you were too tired to go out.

After taking a sip of the sweet liquid in your glass, you examine the letter you were given earlier. It's a typical white envelope with your name written in pen. There's no address on it or return address so you assume it was just supposed to be handed to you.

You rip open the letter with your finger and pull out the singular loose leaf paper. It's folded in three sections so you pull it open. The handwriting is messy but in an aesthetic sort of way.

Dear y/n, I strongly suggest that you go to class 406B in the technical building tonight. Don't be late or you'll miss the whole party. 10:45 pm - see you then. I almost forgot, if you don't come I have some revealing pictures of you that I can share with anyone I wish to. XOXO

This is the strangest letter you've ever received. It's probably a prank by one of your roommates or friends. You've never sent nudes to anyone so obviously they're bluffing.

Though perhaps you should entertain your friends and go. Who knows, maybe there will be drinks. But you are tired... Maybe you'll just go to bed. You peek over to the time on your phone, it's 9:12 pm. Yeah, you'll just go to bed after you finish your drink.

'bzz' 'bzzz'

Who is texting you so late at night? You sit up and realize you fell asleep on the couch. You wipe the drool off of your face and grab your phone with distain for whoever woke you up.

It's a blocked number.

ur late

Late? Late for what? Your phone displays the time, 11:27 pm. Are your friends really this committed to their prank? They must be trying to get Tik Tok famous or some shit. Well you're awake now, you might as well head over there.

----

The moment you step into the building something seems off. If all of the lights including the emergency lights wasn't enough, the ground seems sticky. Though you can't bring yourself to use your phone flash light to see what it is.

Eventually you find the room 406B in the darkness. The door is closed and no lights are on in the room. It seems as if no one is inside. As you reach for the handle of the door, you notice something on the window of the door. You can barely make it out, but there's what looks like a hand print. You chuckle, this must be a prank.

Now feeling a little better, you open the door and step inside. It's too dark to see anything but you can make out some figures in the dark. It must be your friends thinking they're being sneaky.

You roll your eyes and look for the light switch, finding it and switching it on. You squint at the sudden light, and your eyes begin to focus. Which you wish they never did.

There is blood everywhere, on the ceiling, the windows, the floor, the tables... But that's not the most jarring part. Your friends are sitting in chairs, one of them sitting on the ground against the wall.

There is your friend Chelsea, sitting in a chair with her head tipped down. You can't even tell what color her clothes originally were, they're covered in red, a dark dark red. Next to her is Derick, he's sitting the same way except his head is tipped backwards. His eyes are wide and his face is left in permanent horror- expressing the brutality of his end. You can't bare to look anymore, you drop to your knees and cover your face with your hands.

You scream and scream until your voice is hoarse and throat is raw. You're left coughing while you are drowned by your own tears.

"Are you ready to give up yet?" A deep voice asks from in front of you.

You can't stop the flow of tears as you look up at this monster. He's also covered in blood, and some is splattered on his face. He wipes a thumb across his face in the blood, and brings it to his lips. Sobs rack your body, you can't even make sense of this.

Hisoka squats down so you're face to face and grips your jaw bone tightly in his hand. You can feel the now cold substance being rubbed against your jaw by his fingers and it makes you want to puke.

"I got tired of waiting for you." His grin is nauseating, forcing you to stop yourself from puking.

His nails dig into your skin, mixing your own blood with that of your friend's. He brings his face close to yours and in a gentle but menacing tone he croaks, "Let's stop this childish game, alright y/n?"

Illumi

It's easy to miss things when you're caught up with the rush of classes and friends and love. All of the parties and hangovers are enough to satisfy your needs for entertainment and drama in this boring life. If you didn't fill up your daily life with these acts, you would probably sleep every day away until you fell into a coma.

To put it short, you're a busy body. And busy bodies don't have time to stop and look around at what is happening. For example, how were you to notice the key under your doormat was missing, or how your dresser drawers were left slightly open when you know you closed them before leaving. Noticing these small things are definitely not on your agenda.

It's 10 am, Saturday, and you don't have any classes or work today. You're sitting at the kitchen bar, drinking coffee and chatting with your roommate. It isn't often that you have a free day, and sometimes it is nice to have even if you want to get moving. The sun is peeking through the curtains and the aroma of espresso beans is a delight. It's a bit chilly so you have a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. What a peaceful morn-

'BANG BANG'

Your roommate eyes you when someone bangs on the front door, already knowing the events that are about to take place. She rolls her eyes and stomps up the stairs to her room, not wanting to get involved. You always feel bad that your roommates have to listen to this but you're really not sure how to end it.

You take your last peaceful sip of coffee and call out, "Come in!"

Before you can even finish your sentence, he storms inside and slams the door behind him. Your boyfriend of course is mad about something you've done. He trudges towards you and moves the stool next to you out of the way, and leans towards you so his face is next to yours.

"Are you kidding me y/n?!" He yells in your ear, but you don't flinch because you're used to this.

He rips his phone from his pocket and shoves it in your face after pulling up a screenshot. It's a conversation between you and his friend.

"Can't you learn to shut your damn mouth? This is our business and you have no right to tell anyone about it!" He's practically seething with rage.

You take a last sip of coffee and set your mug down on the counter. You continue facing forward and not facing him. "It's not our business, it's yours. And I asked him if it was true that you were cheating on me." You turn your head towards him while grimacing and mutter, "Again."

Ah but you've just lighted a bomb with your words.

His face has gone red and he looks like he's about to explode. You begin wondering why you were ever attracted to him.

"Maybe if you weren't such a prude! I can't even kiss my girlfriend whenever I want, it's ridiculous. You know full well that you're so... so... Ugh! You know what? Fuck you!"

As quickly as he came, he runs out of the house, slamming the door once again.

You whisper to yourself, "Fuck you too."

God he's such a child, you don't even want to be with him anymore. But every time you decide to break up with him he suddenly becomes Mr.Perfect. "I'm so sorry." "I love you." "Let me make it up to you." And then he does make it up to you only to tear down all of his hard work.

----

It's been a few days since your big fight with your boyfriend. He hasn't talked to you at all but this isn't uncommon for him. You promised your roommates that you would break up with him, not just for yourself but for the sake of their peace and quiet.

You texted him a few times while you were at work but he left you on read. He's so petty. So you text him one last time.

Come 2 my place at 8 tonight, We need to talk

He answers immediately which surprises you.

Can't, flat tire Come to my place

It doesn't make a difference to you where it is so that's fine. You wonder if maybe he's come to terms with the fact this needs to end. Hopefully so. If there's one thing you want him to be mature about, it's this.

Your shift ends at 6:30pm. You drive home, shower, get dressed, eat something and get ready to leave.

You send one last text,

OMW

It's read immediately but there's no response. Well, it's not like you expected much from him anyway. You drive to his house at 7:45 pm, and arrive around 7:58 pm. All of the lights in his town house are on. He's a few years older than you so he has his own house due to somehow being able to hold down a job. With his anger issues it's hard to believe that he can hold onto anything. Damn, he really is an unattractive person isn't he?

You step out of your car and lock it. Now that you're out of the car you realize that it's very quiet. This is unusual for when you go to his house, normally you can hear music or the sound affects of a shitty video game. But it's silent. Maybe he's waiting for you? He must be taking this well.

You step up the creaky stairs of the house, and knock on the equally as creaky door. No response. Maybe he's sleeping? You peek into the mail box and take out the extra key for the house from it. But when you go to unlock the door, it's already unlocked. This is becoming very strange.

You push open the door and peer into the dark living room. It's not too dark that you can't make out the furniture in the darkness. You step inside and shut the door behind you, it's still quiet. Not quiet, absolutely and undeniably silent. You flick the light on and look around again, nothing seems out of place. It's messy, with empty beer cans and bottles on the ground per usual. The stains on his carpet remain untouched, including the vomit stain in the corner.

"Jay?" You call out into the still atmosphere. Nothing. Is he not home? That can't be, his car is in the driveway.

The sound of his old floor boards being stepped on echoes through the house. What the hell is he trying to pull? You look up the stairs, but it's only darker up there than it was down here. He must be drunk.

Each step you take up the stairs, your heart begins to pound faster. Something feels off, this doesn't feel right. This isn't like your boyfriend, he's simple, he wouldn't try scaring you like this. On the top step, you feel your shoe touch something soft. You lean down and pick it up, and raise it up to your face. A pair of thongs that definitely aren't yours. So that's what's happening. He couldn't even pull himself together for one night.

Your pounding heart is no longer caused by fear but anger. He's cheated too many times to count on your hands, but this time makes you angrier than you've ever been. He's never been in bed with another woman knowing that you were coming over. This is fucking ridiculous.

You stomp towards his room and kick the door open. It's dark but you can tell that there are two people in bed. Your vision has gone red, you've never been this angry in your life.

You don't bother turning the lights on, you storm over to his side of the bed and rip the covers off. Just barely you can make out a woman sleeping next to him. You grab his shoulder tightly and shake him violently to wake him up.

"Get the fuck up Jay! Get! Up!" He doesn't respond, you lean down and yell in his ear like he always does to you. "You're such a childish piece of shit!"

He still doesn't move or speak, for fuck's sake. You stomp back to the entrance of the room and flick on the light. You turn around and begin walking back towards the bed, when you're stopped in your tracks.

Everything is red, but it's not your vision anymore. The bed has been dyed red, and his naked body is covered in it. Your mouths falls open but no screams come out. The woman next to him is splayed out on the bed, naked as well. Covered in red. You look down at the hands that touched your boyfriend, they're also red.

You rush over to the bed and shake your boyfriend again.

"Jay? Jay! Can you hear me?" You put your ear to his chest but you don't hear anything. You put your finger under his nose but don't feel anything.

"Hey! Hey! Wake up! This isn't funny!" Tears stream down your face as you pull him to your chest, cradling him.

Your sobs make it hard to speak and your chest begins to hurt. "J-... Jay... This- isn't-" You gasp between each word, "Funny..."

It's only when you hear a noise coming from behind you that you stop to think about what's going on. It doesn't matter to you though, they could kill you too if they wished.

"People are strange." You turn your head to see where the voice is coming from.

It's someone you don't recognize, he's tall, pale, has long hair, and hypnotizing eyes. Your sobs cease for a moment and you hug your boyfriend tighter to you.

"All of that fighting... You were even coming here to break up with him and yet... You're sad that he's gone?" He makes his way towards you slowly, "I've done you a favor, haven't I?"

He looms over you but all you can do is stand there, frozen by fear.

The man grabs the back of your shirt and pulls you violently from Jay. You try to run back to him, but the man pulls you to him, hugging you tightly. No matter how much you flail in his grasp you can't get away from him. You're left sobbing into his shirt, your body limp in his arms.

"Why?" You manage to whisper.

He holds you to him with one arm and pets your hair with his other hand. "You were miserable. He was making you miserable."

He sighs and kisses the top of your head. What is going on?

"Come on, don't waste your energy on human garbage. I'm here, so it's fine." He states it so 'matter of fact'.

"Who?" Is all you can ask, unable to finish your question.

"I guess I haven't introduced myself yet. Illumi is my name." With ease, he grabs you by your shoulders and lifts your face up to his. "Your future husband."

Chrollo

What more could you ask for? You already have easy college classes, fun parties, a good part time job, great friends, and an amazing best friend. Tonight you're going to hang out with a bunch of friends and have drinks at one of their apartments. It's a pretty normal Thursday night, nothing odd about it.

You're waiting for your best friend to pick you up, he's always there to pick you up on the dot. If he doesn't come early that is. You shove all the essentials into your bag and hear a honk outside. Must be him.

But of course you're always tardy. You lace up your shoes and run out of the dorm room, tripping out of the building. He's watching as you stumble towards the car since one of your shoes is already unlaced. When you finally flop down in the passenger seat he shakes his head with a knowing smile.

"Oh y/n, will you ever be organized?" He asks with amusement.

You click your tongue and straighten out your clothes, "Don't ask such stupid questions."

He turns his body towards you as much as possible and pats his lap. You instinctively know what that means. You hike your foot up above the console and put your foot on his lap. He begins tying your shoe, his smile is unmoving. He's always smiling.

"Chrollo, you don't need to baby me." You roll your eyes and groan.

He laughs and pats your leg, signaling that he's done. "If not me then who?"

You swing your leg back over to your side and buckle up. The two of you hang out a lot. Since you're both going to the hangout tonight, you decided to car pool. But first you're going to go get the alcohol. Everyone has to bring something for everyone, that way you guys can get wasted with no qualms.

You plug your phone into the aux and play your shared playlist. The first song that comes on is "The Cult of Dionysus" by The Orion Experience. Something that he added.

Finally you feel like you can relax, it always feels that way around Chrollo. His presence is just, comforting, in every way. You feel like you can do anything, say anything, ask for anything. He's always there for you with no exceptions and honestly you think you may have feelings for him. But it's a question of are you confusing comfort and friendly affection for romanticism. It's just that he's so perfect, he doesn't have a single flaw. Not one that you've ever seen at least. You probably never will see one of his flaws.

You sink into the seat and sigh.

He looks at you out of the corner of his eye, but quickly looks back at the road. "What's the matter?"

"Oh nothing... Just, everything is good."

He knows you better than anyone, so it's an obvious lie when you say this. "But what?"

Anytime he calls you out, you surrender and tell him everything. "Everything is so great you know." He nods with your statement. "I go to a good school, have good friends, have a good job." This has been on your mind for quite some time.

"Something is missing, you know? The excitement, the... the..." You chuckle and turn towards him and put up jazz hands, "The pizzazz!"

He doesn't turn to look at you but you know he saw you when his smile widens. "I get that. Maybe you just need to step outside of your comfort zone. Do something different."

Do something different? Yeah, maybe that is what you need.

----

All eleven of you are sitting in a circle on the ground, drinking and playing never have I ever. You take a long drink of your Mike's hard lemonade, which is just something to get the night going.

Dina wipes hair from her face and smiles, "Okay okay my turn. So never have I ever.... Uhh." She pops up when she thinks of something, "Never have I ever jumped out of a window."

DJ leans forward and raises an eyebrow, "Okay what kind of window we talking? High up? First floor?"

Dina answers, "Any kind, any kind of window." The majority of you put a finger down which makes the group burst out in laughter.

Your friend Zoey finishes off her bottle and slams it down on the floor. "Let's play something else."

"Like what?" One of your friends ask.

Zoey thinks for a moment, "Like... Truth or dare, spin the bottle. Or maybe eleven minutes in heaven."

Dj interjects, "I think it's seven minutes in heaven, not eleven."

"Oh whatever DJ, they rhyme." Zoey spits back.

Lex answers, "Let's play seven minutes in heaven!"

Of course DJ huffs and rolls his eyes, "What are we? Middle schoolers?"

Guac (which is his nickname) speaks up, "Oh come on, are you shy DJ?"

Finally the quiet Chrollo sitting next to you says something, "I'm not really interested. Right y/n?" He looks at you to back him up.

The group coos at the two of you and someone says, "We get it, you got something going on. The game is just for fun, don't be so serious Chrollo."

Chrollo opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off, "Hey, you told me to do something different. Maybe this is the first step."

His face shows betrayal and you feel a squeeze in your heart.

He stands up and glares at the group, "Whatever." He storms out of the apartment, and everyone mumbles to each other. Chrollo has never acted like this so this is quite a shock to everyone.

In order not to kill the mood you speak up, "Alright, let's pull names out of a hat!"

All of you write down your names on a small piece of paper and put it in a baseball cap. Dina pulls two names out of the hat and of course makes it a dramatic event.

"Alright so first we have the most lovely of people..." She looks at the group like a teacher waiting for an answer from her class. "Gracie!" Everyone claps and she stands up in front of all of you, taking a bow.

Dina pats her thighs rapidly, "Drum roll please!" Everyone obeys her, "The next hot piece of ass is y/n!"

You stand up and curtsey, taking Gracie's hand and leading her to the closet. Dina stands in front of the closet once both of you are inside and grins, "Timer starts now kids." She shuts the door on you two and all of your friends cheer from outside.

Here comes the awkward part. It's too dark to see her expression but you already know she's blushing.

You lean towards her and in a low voice so no one else can hear say, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

She shakes her head, and you brush a hand through her dark coils. The both of you giggle when your finger gets stuck in her hair. She leans in for a kiss, but before your lips meet you're interrupted.

The front door is opened and slammed shut, you hear the lock click as well.

"Hey Chrollo, you feeling better?" "What are you doing?" "Holy shit, please, what are you doing?!" "Are you fucking crazy? This isn't funny!"

Something slams against the closet door and Gracie yelps.

"Whoa whoa, we can work something out." They sound desperate "Back up!" You hear a loud thump and then screams. "Grab him guys!" It sounds like people are running around, but soon the screams become not those of only fear but of pain. There are gargled pleas and pathetic whimpers for mercy.

You and Gracie hold each other, gripping onto one another for dear life.

Soon the screams, pleas, thuds, gurgling, all of it ends. The apartment goes quiet and you try to silence your heavy breathing.

There's a loud thud right in front of the closet and then the doors are opened abruptly. There Chrollo is, covered in blood, and you can see the bodies of your friends behind him. Before you can react, he pulls Gracie away from you, slams the doors closed and there's another thud.

Gracie's screams are blood curdling, screeches and cries for help. You try to open the doors but something is blocking it, keeping them closed. As her screams get louder you throw yourself against the doors, trying to push whatever is there out of the way.

Before you can even imagine of getting out, the screams fade out into whimpers, and into nothing.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

You're given no time to think when the doors fly open and you're face to face with Chrollo. He's blocking out the light and his usually neat clothes are crumpled and bloody. You look down to his hands, a sledge hammer hangs from his fingers, dripping with your friend's blood.

"Ch-Chrollo... Please don't." You whisper.

The sledge hammer drops to the ground and he wraps his arms around you gently. "Oh y/n. I would never hurt you."

He's so gentle with you, so gentle. It almost makes you forget what just happened, because he feels like home. "Why? Why did you do this?"

He steps back and grabs your shoulders, he leans down so he's eye to eye with you. "They crossed a line, a line that should not be crossed."

You begin to speak but he grabs your cheeks with one hand and dawns his usual smile, "You don't need them. You have me." He kisses your squished lips as if it were normal. "Right y/n?"

Slowly you nod, you don't need them. If Chrollo says it, it must be true.

"Good girl."

227 notes · View notes

booksfromblackwood · 3 years

Text

Is anyone still around in this fandom? If so, I thought I’d post the first chapter of an old fic that I re-wrote last year! Let me know if anyone’s still around, and if you’d be interested in reading more! Hope everyone reading this has a great day! :)

Han has left the chat.

Three Days Before The Disappearance

.Sam.Giddings. added josh_wash, ashleeeeey, xXGamerChrisXx, TheOriginalMatt, HanButterfly, BethWash, Mike_Munroe, EmilyD_, and _Jess.Riley_ to the chat.

.Sam.Giddings. named the chat Info For Tomorrow.

.Sam.Giddings.: Hey guys! Just to keep everyone updated on our travel plans for tomorrow! I know it's going to be a long day for everyone so it's vital we stick to the plan and stay in our groups where possible!

ashleeeeey: Okie-doodle!!

TheOriginalMatt: How are you so organised, Sam? You're a lifesaver!

HanButterfly: Hi!!

BethWash: trust sam to be more prepared than those of us organising the trip lol

xXGamerChrisXx: Since when was 'okie-doodle' a thing?

EmilyD_: Thanks Sam x

xXGamerChrisXx: And thanks so much, sam!

.Sam.Giddings.: So quick reminder of everyone's groups:

_Jess.Riley_: I'm stoked!!

ashleeeeey: That's rich coming from someone whose username is xXGamerChrisXx! :P

.Sam.Giddings.: Ash, Chris, Matt, and myself will start the journey first tomorrow morning.

xXGamerChrisXx: You wound me!

Mike_Munroe: Thanks for the plan, Sam!

TheOriginalMatt: Excited to see everyone tomorrow! This is going to be a killer weekend for sure!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Em, Mike, and Jess, you guys are next.

ashleeeeey: You're so dramatic!! XD

Mike_Munroe: Team Two here we go!!

xXGamerChrisXx: Made you smile, though! ;-)

josh_wash: what about us

.Sam.Giddings.: I'm just getting to that!

ashleeeeey: True :)

xXGamerChrisXx: You guys are already there and are therefore irrelevant! :P

.Sam.Giddings.: Han, Beth, and Josh, you guys are there already!

josh_wash: thanks cochise i feel so appreciated

BethWash: lol thanks chris

Mike_Munroe: So, what are we all up to?

BethWash: i found cake

xXGamerChrisXx: Browsing reddit like a nerd XD

ashleeeeey: Listening to Sam's rundown of tomorrow unlike sOmE pEoPlE *coughcoughChris*

EmilyD_: Honestly just packing my final things with Jess. Mike's mostly watching the TV.

xXGamerChrisXx: :-(

.Sam.Giddings.: So, tonight we should all make sure our bags are packed and that we have our passports and tickets ready!! Set your alarms for the right times (depending on your group) and make sure to sleep early too (especially if you're in my group since tomorrow will be an early start for us)!

ashleeeeey: :)

TheOriginalMatt: 5am gang where we AT?

HanButterfly: Beth where are you rn? Because I want some of that cake!!

.Sam.Giddings.: So Team One (myself, Chris, Ash, and Matt), we need to be up by 5:00am and be ready by 5:30am for the taxi to the airport!! Matt and Chris, yours is going to be at Chris' place at 5:24 for some reason so make sure to be ready!!

BethWash: the lodge kitchen bcos where else would there be cake han lol

.Sam.Giddings.: We'll meet up at the airport when we arrive! Once we re-group, we'll check in, probably eat some breakfast whilst we wait, and then catch the 8:30 plane!!

TheOriginalMatt: Sweet!

ashleeeeey: Can't wait! :)

josh_wash: yo matt you surviving the puns

.Sam.Giddings.: Team Two - you guys don't have to be up until around 9:00am since your taxi is at 9:20 and then your plane is at 11:30!

HanButterfly: Josh would you like me to save you some cake before we eat it all? :)

EmilyD_: We'll need a little longer than 20 minutes to all get ready but sure x

TheOriginalMatt: Just about! Myself and Chris have mostly been playing on his PS4 so I've been distracting myself with that! XD

josh_wash: yes please!

josh_wash: i feel for ya bro, a whole evening with chris' puns can prove fatal

josh_wash: you die of cringe

Mike_Munroe: Poor ol' Chris XD

.Sam.Giddings.: Once we arrive and get our bags, we need to catch the 2:30pm train and then the 4:20 bus! After that we have to take the 5:40 bus (I sent you guys screenshots of the route yesterday) and get off at Blackwood Pines ready for our hike up the mountain (with a little help from the cable car, of course)!

xXGamerChrisXx: I'm being BULLIED guys :(

ashleeeeey: Aw, poor Chris! :P

josh_wash: jk XD

TheOriginalMatt: I like how Sam's still here typing all we need to know whilst we're talking about cake and puns XD

.Sam.Giddings.: Team Two, you guys need to catch either the 5:30pm or the 6:00pm train depending on when your stuff arrives. After that you'll need to get the 7:50 bus and then the 8:40 bus to Blackwood Pines (you have to specify you want it to stop there or the driver won't stop) before you head up. Remember to lock the cable car station once you get in, Mike!

josh_wash: oh gosh tHE CAKE

Mike_Munroe: Gotcha' Sam!

HanButterfly: No worries, Josh! I managed to save most of it from Beth!

BethWash: rip my chance at a third slice of cake

_Jess.Riley_: Really, thanks Sam! We're all packed and ready to go! Xx

HanButterfly: It's really going to be such an awesome weekend! I can't wait :D

ashleeeeey: Thank you so much for inviting me! I've never been on something like this before!! :D

TheOriginalMatt: Yeah, thank you so much guys! I can't wait either, Han!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Have we got rooms sorted out for the lodge, guys?

BethWash: ash take the plans away from sam so she can have time to relax lol

EmilyD_: I'm with Mike in the room away from everyone like agreed right x

ashleeeeey: I'm trying but she won't let me! XD

HanButterfly: I mean if needs be we can sort out rooms once we're here! If not maybe we just sort out the first night rooms since it'll be fairly late when everyone arrives and then we can adjust them as needed as the trip goes on!

BethWash: lol poor sam will be up all night organising at this rate

.Sam.Giddings.: Sounds good, Han!

Mike_Munroe: Great idea, Hannah!

BethWash: em, yours and mike's room (upstairs guest) may not be ready first night so is it possible for you to share a room with jess til we get a chance to sort it out tomorrow?

EmilyD_: That's fine, hon. Thank you again for the trip and for letting us use the upstairs guest room x

josh_wash: how about for the first night emily and jess share beth's room and then beth sam and han go in hannah's room

josh_wash: mike can go to the small room downstairs if he's alright w/ that and matt can room w/ me

xXGamerChrisXx: Yo dude you forgot ash

ashleeeeey: It's alright, Chris! I can find somewhere!

EmilyD_: Ash you're honestly lovely but I'd kinda' like to be with either Jess or Mike if that's alright xx

ashleeeeey: No problem, Emily! I wouldn't want to intrude! :)

EmilyD_: Knew you'd understand xx

josh_wash: why dont you and ash share a room cochise

xXGamerChrisXx: I thought I was rooming with you and matt?

josh_wash: bro please just think for a minute here

ashleeeeey: I'm not sure.

xXGamerChrisXx: Beth, han, and sam, is there any room with you guys?

ashleeeeey: I'm really sorry to be a bother!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Of course you can room with us, Ash! We'd love to have you with us! :)

BethWash: im with sam

HanButterfly: Of course!!

xXGamerChrisXx: Thank you to the only valid washington kids right now!

josh_wash: -_-

xXGamerChrisXx: I see what you're doing, josh. ha ha, we've had our laugh, now please stop before this weekend.

Mike_Munroe: Rough subject, huh?

josh_wash: bro chill you know i was just joking

ashleeeeey: I'm really sorry!! Please don't get upset with each other!

xXGamerChrisXx: No ash it's alright! i promise i'm not actually mad! :-)

josh_wash: he acts mad over text to get his point across but he literally just sits there with a blank expression irl XD

TheOriginalMatt: Is Sam still there, Ash? Haven't heard from her in a while!

TheOriginalMatt: Gotta check up on my plane buddy for tomorrow!!

_Jess.Riley_: Did you guys get window seats or middle isle seats? I got a middle isle and the others got a window!

BethWash: she hasn't drowned in her notes has she lol

TheOriginalMatt: We got two sets of window seats! Though I don't know which of us is actually going to be at the window and which one will be window isle!

ashleeeeey: She's just brushing her teeth! Her mom came in and brought us a load of vegan snacks for the trip tomorrow and now I'm even more excited!!

ashleeeeey: Speaking of which, I'm probably going to head to sleep in a minute! Though I'm not sure how much I'll actually get since I'm so excited!!! :)

xXGamerChrisXx: Sleep well, ash. see you in the morning :-)

ashleeeeey: Night, Chris :)

ashleeeeey has left the chat.

_Jess.Riley_: Well that was cute!

xXGamerChrisXx: People say goodnight to eachother! that's a normal human interaction!

_Jess.Riley_: You know full well it's cute when it's you two

.Sam.Giddings.: Ash told me she logged out so I came to say goodnight!

josh_wash: w/ jess on this one bro

HanButterfly: Goodnight, Sam!

BethWash: night sam!

josh_wash: dont let the bedbugs bite!

TheOriginalMatt: See you bright and early tomorrow!!

.Sam.Giddings.: See you at the airport/lodge, guys!

xXGamerChrisXx: Night!

.Sam.Giddings. has left the chat.

BethWash: its cute because you like eachother chris

xXGamerChrisXx has left the chat.

HanButterfly: Aww, don't tease the poor guy!

TheOriginalMatt: Chris says goodnight, as do I! Can't wait to see you all tomorrow!

BethWash: night guys!

TheOriginalMatt has left the chat.

josh_wash: night!

Mike_Munroe: Make sure to save me a slice of that cake, Han! I gtg!

Mike_Munroe has left the chat.

HanButterfly: Goodnight Mike :)

EmilyD_: We'd best be off too. See you all in the morning.

_Jess.Riley_: Night x

EmilyD_ has left the chat.

BethWash: night

HanButterfly: Goodnight x

josh_wash: night xxxxxxyzqvp

_Jess.Riley_: Ha ha, very funny. Get that one from Chris?

josh_wash: lol night

_Jess.Riley_ has left the chat.

BethWash: PLEASE can i have some more cake, han?

josh_wash: you guys can literally just talk if you wanted

HanButterfly: Nope! Gotta' save some for Mike~

BethWash: you wont shut up about that for the rest of the evening now, will you?

BethWash: lol

HanButterfly: :P

josh_wash: you guys gossip in the kitchen

josh_wash: imma head to bed

BethWash: night bro

HanButterfly: Sleep well!

josh_wash has left the chat.

BethWash: please?

HanButterfly: No :P

BethWash: ugh night sis

HanButterfly: Night, Beth! XD

BethWash has left the chat.

HanButterfly has left the chat.

#until dawn #chrashley #until dawn chris #until dawn ashley #until dawn sam #until dawn josh #until dawn matt #until dawn emily #until dawn mike #until dawn jessica #pre-game #I’ve forgotten how to tag #Let me know if anyone is still in this fandom!

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thethousandyearwitch · 4 years

Text

“Tumblr Cultings” another Shitpost fic.

Hisoka is a ~~Tumblr Influencer~~ and decides to start drama. 1334 Words.

fanfiction.net link

Click. Clack. Click. Hisokas nails tapped quickly against his phone screen. "Tonight it's going down. I have had e-nough of a certain person here, and all of you deserve to know who and why! ~ ♠️ " Post. He didn't have to wait long before the familiar pings and blops of instant messages and questions asked to his blog started.

Anonymous: Who is it?? (≧▽≦) So excited to see you tear someone a new one!! IM from cutiepanther: where do u even get your info from lol?. IM from chaineddown: I Thought You Were Done Creating Drama For Attention.

Hisoka snickers to himself, lazily grabbing another whiteclaw from the fridge, before retreating to his bedroom desk. He takes a first sip of his drink while opening his laptop, and quickly going on tumblr.com once it has finished setting up. @Bubblegumbitch, 20.879 followers. 7.344 posts. 27 new asks, 7 new IMs. With a satisfied sigh, the popular blogger sets down his can, and cracks his knuckles.

YouTube Influencers make a lot of money through ad-revenue. Instagram influencers hold themselves over water with sponsorships. And though Hisoka did hold a platform on both of these as well, he preferred the more traditional customs of the blogging site. You don't get paid for having a lot of followers, or making popular posts, and sponsorships are almost entirely unheard of. But he wasn't in it for the money anyway. The drama was far more alluring. Hisoka had made his starts as a "Tumblr influencer" through creating blog layouts, masterposts of custom themes, and the occasional "funny" post, which was usually just him vagueing about someone that pissed him off that day. His first call-out post he wrote at 7k followers, calling out a far bigger blogger than he is for stealing codes for their theme and for kinning a character from a TV show that has generally been frowned upon on Tumblr for being "atrocious and a bad influence". No one likes to admit it, but everyone loves a little drama, don't they? To see someone else's dirty laundry aired out, the relief that it isn't their own, the community effort of shutting someone out of their reigns for one simple post. A satisfied Huff escapes Hisoka as he dwells in this lovely memory. Time to make a new one.

"CALLOUT POST for @spidershead13 I can't believe I would ever have to do this for someone like him, but Chrollo has definitely pushed it too far~. Definitely don't harrass him, just unfollow and block his sorry ass!~ ♣️ ."

Excitiment starts to bubble under Hisokas skin. In truth, of course, Chrollo did nothing horribly wrong, nothing at least that Hisoka could proof. But everyone likes good drama between popular blogs that follow different themes. If this post could rile him up enough to write a callout post for Hisoka in return- Blop. IM from porcelaincat: Hisoka. Oh no, the fun police. Bubblegumbitch: Yeeeees?~ ♥️ Porcelaincat: Are you not too old to start petty fights online? Bubblegumbitch: OUCH. ♠️ Bubblegumbitch: I stay young at heart, dear.~ Porcelaincat: 1) Gross. 2). Who are you bullying this time? Bubblegumbitch: Chrollo @spiderhead13 :o) Porcelaincat: I am surprised, I honestly did not take you for that stupid. My fault.

Ouch. Illumi never cared if he was hurting feelings. Maybe he should write the call-out post about Hisoka. Though Hisoka doesn't have any viable dirt on him, not yet at least, not until he finds that porn blog that hes SURE Illumi has hidden away somewhere. Whatever, fuck that guy and his voice of reason. Hisoka takes another gulp of his whiteclaw, and goes back to typing.

"It has come to my attention, that multiple people have had the same unpleasant experience with Chrollo, something you cannot let slide so easily~."

(Multiple people meaning one fake blog that he himself created to write himself IM messages "receipts".)

"In the following screenshots, one person tells me about how Chrollo tried to convince them to come visit him in Newyork and joins his 'church'! That's right, the guys a cult leader, trying to lure in more people from here!~ (Blogname in the Screenshots is blacked out for anonymitys sake ofc)."

Was he going too far, trying to convince everyone that Chrollo was a Cult leader probably out to harvest their organs? Or was he not going far enough

"Not sure what everyone was expecting of a goth blog like his, posting all that ~deep~ and ~brooding~ stuff, but pleeaaaseee stay clear of him now, don't let yourselves get pulled into some scary cult bs~ ♦️ .

#callout #calloutpost #internetbloodsports #cult. "

And post. Hisoka spins excitedly in his chair, self satisfied with his own hubris. Immediately more blops and pings storm in. Anonymous: I knew chrollo was a weirdo, mayor bad vibes ಠωಠ Anonymous: thank you for talking about this, honestly scary!!!!! Spiderslegtostandon: What is your damage? Hisoka chuckles. Now only to wait for- IM from spidershead13: Hello. Chrollos timing was as usual, perfect. Bubblegumbitch: Why hello~~~~ ♠️ Spidershead13: I believe we need to talk about whatever that post was. Hisoka glances at the notes, a steady stream of likes and reblogs flowing in. Damage control is gonna be hard for the opposing side.

Bubblegumbitch: Sorry, I believe I'm just warning the people about you~. Didn't take you for such a dangerous guy :o( Spidershead13: Can you give me the @ of the person sending you those messages? Obviously they must have gotten something wrong. I'd never Invite just anyone to come over here, and I'd also never force my beliefs on anyone. Bubblegumbitch: Sorry, no can do. Who says you're not going to doxx em~. ♠️ I don't want to be responsible for putting someone in danger more than they already are~.

The influencer was now just leaning back in his chair, taking in a cool nights-breeze flowing in from the window. Was Chrollo mad? He's sure he'd want to punch him right now. What will he start Hisokas call-out with? Who would people believe more? It was all so exciting.

Spidershead13: Hisoka, this is nothing to joke about. I don't want to loose the trust of my community. I want to clear my name. Bubblegumbitch: if you can proof that I, or my informant has lied, I won't stop you from trying.~ ♣️ Spidershead13: Is this another childish game to you? Bubblegumbitch: A game? I take public safety extremely serious!~ :o(

No reply for 10 minutes. Hisoka bites his bottomlip, basking in the excitement of the unknown next moves of Chrollo. He was unpredictable, and thats what made him fun to toy with. If he was simply out to ruin someone's blogging experience, he could have cherry picked any one popular blog, dig long enough for dirt, and run them off the site in less than 2 hours. But that's predictable, that's normal, where's the fun in that?

Ping. Anonymous: Where's the Call-out?? Did you bitch out? Huh? Anonymous: did you delete the post? Was about to forward it to some friends who r mutuals with chrollo Pardon? Hisoka check his blog, and behold- The post is gone. Wooshed away, as the site itself would annoyingly proclaim. Did the site glitch out and delete it? Is it simply not displaying the post?

Spidershead13: So you did fake those screenshots, I assume. The URL in your IMs leads to an empty blog with the same IP address as you Spidershead13: I did not take you for someone who'd stoop that low. Bubblegumbitch: Hahaha what did you DO?~ ♠️ ♠️ ♠️ ♠️ ♠️ Spidershead13: Had a friend of mine 'check' your blog. He was also nice enough to delete the post for you already.

Hisoka blinks. Once. Then twice. He's been hacked. This was going even better than he had anticipated. Quickly he screenshots the conversation, before hitting "New Textpost". " !!!I'VE BEEN HACKED BY @SPIDERSHEAD13!!!! [Screenshot] #callout #callout post #internbloodsports #hacker"

Post.

Ping. Blop. Blop. Blop. Ping. This was going to be a long, delicious night.

#hunter x hunter #hisoka marrow #chrollo lucilfer #illumi zoldyck #fanfiction

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mojavescr1pt · 6 years

Note

can i be obnoxious and ask what in fuck is happening? (pls feel free to ignore me heavily if you are overloaded!!) i have always found shelby to be one of the nicer people to me in my old neotag age, and hearing all this stuff is really, idk jarring? and i guess i'm confused with all the screencaps and (is that a discord server?? omg i am ancient). i just want to make sure everyone is okay and that i understand what is happening /: sorry to be a bother ahh

hey there, you ain’t bein obnoxious. believe you me its rough to be in a drama situation and have nowhere to turn.

before i get into my side of shit, the best place ive been following for this stuff is neotag-dogma. they’re apparently new?? as in tonight new?? and r reblogging the receipts and making posts abt what’s happening. more explanation under the cut.

for a quick tldr re: the discord situation: Gil and Tor, among the other major mods, ducked out from the Discord to handle irl stuff (i think, this was before my time). Shelby was promoted to mod and shortly thereafter started making major changes to the discord. i myself had found the atmosphere hyper controlling and i didn’t feel welcome in there, mostly bc i was on the Blacklist and could tell (more on this in a moment).anyway, skip forward several months, and Tor and Gil return. Tor makes a joke about another mod of the server, Jack sneezing into their mouth (a neotag meme at the time). Shelby swooped in and started rep reprimanding Tor. now what’s important to remember is that Tor was the owner of the server at the time. and Shelby was a low-level mod, talking about how Tor needed to behave in the server, talking about how she was making the server “better” and that Tor was “ruining” how good she was making it. it’s important to note the server was nigh dead at this point. and then what ensues is what’s in that imgur album of the server meltdown, where it’s revealed that instead of making a private channel, Shelby made an entirely new server for the mods, didn’t communicate to said mods, make 12 additional unnecessary chat channels---some of which were barely used, and overall made the environment hostile.

now as for what’s going on tonight; ppl are starting to post abt shelby’s behavior. i’ve mostly been posting abt what’s happening to me bc im a lil conceited when it comes to people lying about me; primarily something that’s a huge revelation is that there actually IS a Blacklist ran by Shelby; a ton of artists ive spoken to noticed that shelby never reblogged their art, which at first was fine, everyone has their own tastes. but then they started mapping it back and we slowly started to realize she was intentionally walling people out bc she didn’t like them. this theory was dubbed the Blacklist, and a ton of people pushed back against it and claimed there was no Blacklist. but surprise! there is/was one. this was revealed in one screenshot on neotag-dogma’s blog where she goes out of her way to message a new member to the tag, completely unprompted, telling them to avoid me, and my friends, and that i was a bully/enabler.

now not to sound cliche but; i dont think i rightfully fit that bill.

i think what stung most of all abt that revelation is that i was recently trying to re-befriend her. i was forgiving her for shutting me out, isolating me, making me self-conscious and anxious about my own art. and yet she was doin’ this shit. i sorta wish i had the self restraint to not go Hog Wild and scream on my main bc i would’ve loved to see how long she would’ve been able to pretend that nothing was wrong.

and this isn’t even touching on what happened to Em (gelertassassin). i reckon you’ve read that post already, and if not it’s probs the one directly below this post.

and this isn’t even touching on the people still compiling receipts. there’s so much shit that’s been hidden under the surface, that’s now coming up; i dont blame you for feeling like its jarring. maybe less than a day ago i had positive feelings towards her. but now? man its mixed as hell but i can’t say any of ‘em are positive.

shelby may have been a nice person at one point, but she’s turned sour and it’s sorta terrifying at how good she is at hiding this dark side of herself.

oh! and its never a bother to explain stuff like this

#ok to reblog #ask a bean #im super tired so sorry if its rambly #i hope i could help hgbhfbghfbg #venuquin

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tamiddyinyourcity · 4 years

Text

8:11am.

Its Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's lookin forward, tooo theeeee weeeeekeeeeend.

Friday, February 26th of 2020.

I woke up feeling terrible as fuck and ready to kill myself, but moreso the latter is just caused by sleep deprivation.

I went to bed at 2am last night, since Marco, (a thot, not a good kind,) waaaaaas trying to pull the classic, "My girlfriend is so abusive, here is a story where I say nothing but the bad things she's done with no grammatical correctness, or accountability or admittal of anything i may or may not have done, anyway lol did i mention ur the best fuck ive ever had before?"

He does this almost every two months, does he get tired?

He got lucky last summer when I agreed to "hang out" with him, since 1) I figured dude needed a shoulder to cry on, 2) if my pussy ends a toxic relationship then the ends justify the means, and 3) he offered to pay for all my food, transportation, and more.

So when you're a lonely girl with an eating disorder and low funds, and all a dude wants is to maybe hold your hand and vent to you about how terrible your life is.... Then it's not bad.

Plus, meeting with him last year lead me to Patrick #1. (People usually hear about how I openly gave my number to another guy while out with Marco and start simpin for Marco, but I usually say a simple, "Marco had a girlfriend, so he couldn't be mad about it", to shut them up while disgusting them further.)

So here it is, a year later and I'm lonely again. This time, not broke or desperate. Horny? I mean, to an extent, but Marco wouldnt be my first option. Not too into the idea of a short chubby guy putting his chode in me in missionary position, surprise surprise!

Well, then again, I do wanna have sex again. Now that I no longer can plow my ex, for his ultimate crime of being attractive but a massive toolbag, then weeeeell...... I should still have sex anyway? Why feel guilty? I'm single, and Patrick #2 made it clear he never wants to see me again. (How ironic.)

Agh.

Anyway, Marco said a few choice words that he could've kept to himself. Realizing I wouldn't bang him, or not without inherently getting something beneficial in return, he proceeded to say "By the way, you're no longer the best fuck ive ever had. Lol."

He must've realized this is a baaaaaad thing to say to a girl who is not your girlfriend, sincr he followed it up by "Godly, but not great. Saula holds that position. But its only good on LSD, so, lol"

Still not polite, so I told Marco, "Hey I'm so tired so I'm probably gonna go to sleep, but I'll be sure to send your girlfriend a good night text with these screenshots before I do. Gnite"

And before he said anything else, I texted "Done! Have fun talking to her about our conversation in detail from tonight tomorrow morning, without my presence!"

He proceeded to then blow up my phone with texts, angry and distressed and begging not to tell her.

The funny thing is, I didn't tell her anything. I just figured that someone was grimey as him could benefit from the lesson of, "Stop trying to use me for sex/treat me like shit, and stop trying to cheat on your girlfriend."

Whether he stays with her out of love, fear, or a loneliness complex, he still stays. She still stays. He still gaslights her and cheats on her. She still punches him in the throat and leaves him gagging for air. Not a fantastic couple, but they're good at putting on the front of one.

Hell, as Marco texted me an hour before in the evening all about how much of a "toxic bitch" Saula had been, and nearly breaking up with her, since he does not love her...... I literally texted him "Didn't you make a post on Instagram today, saying explicitly that you loved her?"

He sure the fuck did!

Christ, Marco.... A mess, you are.

Anyway.

Love is dead. My ex doesnt think about me any more. Azalea probably does, but who cares. Marco wants to cheat. I want to eat. And frankly, i think im starting to care less about moral rights and wrongs either way.

Life is stupid. :)

On the bright side, I'm successfully deep cleaning my room. After weeks of sleeping among filth, I decided I'd rather have the energy to leave my bed and do whatever, instead of suffering over my ex and cuddling empty water bottles and--

8:47am. Damn, the laundry pickup person was quick as HELL to arrive. And strong as FUCKKKKKK. I was out of breathe even dragging two of the laundry bags to the door, but the woman working was deadass HULKED OUUUUT, slinging 25 pound bags of laundry over her shoulder and walking down hella stairs with ease.

You're doing amazing, sweetie. Oh my goddddddd.

Anyway; I'm getting my whole wardrobe cleaned. Starting off an early spring with all my sexy summer clothes back in my everyday life, with my peach colored tank tops and summery bright red and orange dresses? Whew chile, the girls are gonna be mad at me this summer.

Ordered hella jewelry, to get my sparkle on. Since I'm tired of missing out on parties, all because of a little "Agh, damn, none of my outfits are popping, and I don't have enough chains and finger rings on to let the girls know that I'm gay. What's even the POINT, MAN?"

And I'm getting my hair done this Monday, as well as some extra clothes I had ordered online.

That's what I call a glow up. Going, "Fuck this shit, I wanna do things with my life, and I can't just lay down to die."

So I called the laundry people, even if I loathed the idea of sorting through all my clothes or paying for service. I just went, "You have a paycheck that you aren't blowing in food, rent, or anything relevant anytime soom. Chill, order the service and get ready".

Tossed out all the junk in my bedroom, and now I just gotta find all my longlost zirconia earrings to look like a bad bitch when my hair, skin, nails, and wardrobe makes me look finer than china this Monday.

(I would put "Bandit Gang Marco - Nasty" here, but Tumblr is tripping. :) .)

Anyway, self care is good.

Other good things to do:

Bake a bunch of goods for my loved ones. The woman nearby is giving away lemons, so now is a better time than ever go to out and give people slices of lemon cake. My family, the homeless, and people I wanna apologize to seem like a good start. Building alliances and feeling good is always super important.

Grocery shopping for myself seems like a good idea. I don't know if I wanna get wine or not, since when I was stressed recently, I was feeling reaaaaaally with-drawal-y about not being able to drink until my body forgets my problems. I should save my potential alcoholism for my 40s, so that I can get a beer gut, low self esteem, and the cleft lip gene WAAAAY after having kids and whatnot......

Fabric shopping! I literally know how to sew, and have two sewing machines. And inheriting an insanely huge bin of patterns from the 1940s to 1990s? Seems great. I loved the looks from those eras.... So, fabric shopping and making my own quality pieces seems better than coughing up my hard earned dough to stuck up shopkeepers who overprice unwanted items. No more fsst fashion, just gonna sew my own shit.

Trying out new restaurants. Best way to make food and meet others.

9:03am.

Now, do I really wanna think about my ex at 9am? I don't think I do, but, I get the feeling I should anyways....

I don't hate him. Not at this point in time. I just loathe his actions, and his reluctance.... At this point, I lost hope for him. Since he never makes smart choices, and it just fucks me over in the end.

The day he got that letter, he could've either told me after reading it the full extent to his emotions and how he really felt toward me, or just let me leave and not say a damn word.

Both would have been smart choices. He could have told me about how he supposedly reciprocated my feelings, and either explained his worries about pursuing things further, or expressing some sort of boundary or request to make things mutually work out. Since frankly, if he was gonna call me and say he was open to more, or at least discussing our issues, i would have stuck around.

Or, the opposite; letting me leave. Knowing he would never truly make the effort, nor want to. Just recognizing that it would have never been enough for me, and letting me leave in silence. Since if I was gonna leave, silence would have shown me that he was satisfied with leaving. And I would've turned out fine. "I left at the right time, since he never would have done more, and the silence proves it" came to mind.

........

He tried to dip his toes into both options at once.

NIGGA, YOU CANT JUST SPRINKLE IN A "sad to see you go, i regret not kissing you, and i love the kiss you left on your letter" and not say jack shit afterwards??????

Oh my gooooooooooood, i was pissed when i had got home.

I cried in my uber once i left his place a bit after giving him the letter, before feeling contented, and happy!

Whoohoo! I successfully ended a relationship in a way that doesn't result in low self esteem, threats of a restraining order, or suicidal thoughts and feelings of worthlessness.

Just to get on my porch and finally see his texts....and feeling very offput by them. Was he mocking me? Flirting? Hinting at feelings? Why say you want to kiss a girl who clearly wants to be left alone by you, a young man, with no emotional consistency and nad habits of lying or purposely distancing yourself from me?

.....

I liked everything. The kissing, the cuddling. But, it was never gonna be enough. Or compare to what we had before, unless there was effort given on both sides.

Like I said in my letter, "its the difference between someone drinking a fresh cup of hot pressed italian coffee, and a stale cup of McDonalds coffee that they microwaved after a week of it sitting inside of their car."

I was getting oral sex and low self esteem. Dick and increased abandonment issues. Occasional movie watching and beachside sitting, but never any intimacy past maybe grabbing his ass occasionally.

Like.... I'm upset that he asked me, "What was missing?"

What wasnt missing, man? There was sex. And maybe watching Battle Royale. But if you compare it to how we used to act around eachother when watching Murder Party, or Evangelion, and the way we used to cuddle buttass naked and talk without being afraid, or overstepping boundaries, or seeming "relationshippy" when it was clear we never would... As good as it is to not give me the vibe of s relationship, it made me realize, "But its what i want".

God.

I wish he never lied that night. I wish there was honesty, and never violence. I wish he never fucking gaslighted me, and didnt just pin every avoidable problem in our relationship, that could have easily been resolved if he made the fucking effort to help.... on ME. (He's got a lot of nerve, thats the thing that pisses me off most. If he told me any of the shit related to any of our original problems when the time called for it, things would have never got so bad. But he put off being honest with me, and I was not happy to find out MONTHS later all the real reasons for shit, that if i knew sooner, would have easily gotten fixed.)

I really love so much about this dude, but his conflict resolution skills are garbage, and he seems a little bit narcissistic, but I dont wanna throw that word around like confetti.

Going to sleep. Night.

#me #yep

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homebeneaththestairs · 7 years

Text

garden gnomes and group chats

Sirius to felons or falcons: im ready to pass or die

Remus: I literally sent you a study package two weeks ago

Peter: i left u my notes from last semester what are you doing with your life?

Sirius: not studying

Sirius: I thought that was really obvious

Sirius: cmon guys get with the program

James to Remus: i left snape a step by step instruction manual on how to properly wash his hair

James: its in his locker

James: what do u think are the odds that he’ll actually figure out how a shower works?

Remus: first of all: oh my god

Remus: secondly: good job.

Lily to Sirius: s2g black give me back my pencil case

Sirius: it was an emergency

Lily: you’ll be in the emergency room if you don’t give it back to me

Peter to felons or falcons: guys guys guys

Sirius: don’t u dare

James: don’t

Peter: reminder that college applications start today!

Sirius: blocked.

Peter: :////////:

James: yeah u think about u did

Remus: I’m in the library right now filling out applications

James: blocked.

Sirius changed the group name to: if remus mentions colleges one more time i’ll kill him

Remus changed the group name to: sirius stop using the group chat name to make a point

Sirius changed the group name to: make me

Remus to slim slam dunk slimmies: I swear to god that i will kill whoever keeps leaving raisin boxes in my locker

Remus: I’m talking to you James and Sirius

Sirius: i literally have no idea what ur talking about

Remus: someone keeps leaving those boxes of raisins in my locker and i hate raisins why do you guys keep doing this?

Sirius: I’m going to go with innocent until proven guilty, mate

Remus: I’m not an idiot

Remus: its either you or James doing this how stupid do you think I am?

James to Peter: so when r u going to tell Remus that you’ve been breaking into his locker all year?

Peter: probably never

James: respect that

Sirius changed the group name to: plexiglass fuckers

Peter: wait what

Remus: How does one even?

Sirius: carefully, and with punk attitude

James changed the group name to: punk is really dead get over it black

Sirius: im never talking to u again

James: but u just did

Sirius: damn it

James to james potter is a secretly a walking talking jar of jam: im failing out of english and its a problem

James: like seriously

Sirius: yes?

James: literally not the time buddy

Sirius: i always have time for u

James: bro <3

Sirius: bro <33333

Remus: sirius shut up

Remus: what do you mean you are failing out of english? have you done any of the readings?

James: hamlet is literally the worst torture in the history of ever i can’t get through it and i’m so far behind i need help i just got a 40% on the paper and she gave me an extension to redo it but i don’t know where to begin

Remus: you’re going to be fine

Remus: i’m messaging a friend. maybe she’ll agree to tutor you

James: bless u

Peter to Remus: fuck u

Remus: what on earth did i do to deserve this

Peter sent to Remus three screenshots

Peter: he hasn’t shut up about her dainty little wrists yet

Peter: u did this

Remus: oh my god what did i do

Remus to Lily: how did it go with James?

Lily: I think I found the problem

Remus: he was dropped on his head as a small child?

Lily: ???

Lily: no he’s been trying to read a copy of Macbeth, not Hamlet

Remus: why am I friends with these people?

Peter to four guys with great hair: i dunno y but sirius makes great decisions when drunk

James: wait u went drinking without me?

Peter: u said u wanted to watch lily do homework at the library

James: u make it sound so much creepier when u say it like that

Remus: why did you call me 20 times tonight?

Peter: sirius tried making a fire

Remus: with what??

Sirius: e v e r y t h i n g

Peter: actually though

Peter: it was a bit more of an explosion than a fire tbh

Sirius to Remus: not to be controversial

Sirius: but i really don’t like bbq sauce

Remus: literally wtf is controversial about that

Remus: also its 3am fuck off

Peter to the discount spice girls: i forgot we had homework in history

Peter: someone skip history with me

James: im in chem but sounds coolio

Sirius to the discount spice girls : wait we had homework

Sirius: don’t leave without me guys

Sirius: guys?

Sirius: g u y s

Remus to Sirius: you submitted your applications right?

Sirius: ???applications,,,, 4 wat?

Remus: why are you like this

Sirius: oh yeah college appLications

Sirius: kind of

Remus: this is the last day to submit

Remus: where are you

Sirius: in the libBBrary picking progRams out of a hat with James

Sirius: do u think i could work with kids?

Remus: i think the kids would be to mature for you

James to the Lily Evans Appreciation Group: she is so perfect

James: she loaned me one of her gel pens today

James: GEL

Sirius: ohhhh gel?

James: gel.

James: purple gel pen

Sirius: wow thats serious

Peter: ^^^ :D

James: i honestly dunno whats better. the fact that she blessed me with one of her pens, or her eyes.

Remus changed the group name to: mention lily’s eyes one more time james

James: they’re literally the most beautiful eyes i have ever encountered

James: like they are honestly so green

James Potter has been removed from group.

James to Peter: have u seen sirius?

Peter: no

Peter: craig said he saw him hitchhiking earlier, looked pretty bad

James: im grabbing the car

Peter: i’ll meet you by the school

Peter to the Remus Lupin is a Moon Man: i got rejected by my safety school

Sirius: im literally on my way with beer

Remus: where are you getting alcohol from?

Sirius: i broke into bellatrix’s apartment and stole her stash of candles and beer like yesterday

Sirius: james the jim was the get away driver

Sirius changed James to jamesthejim

James: honestly that school was stupid

James: you’ve got plenty of time to hear back

Peter: liar

Remus: trust him on this one

James to Sirius: he keeps baking cookies

Sirius: aw shit

James: we ran out of dairy already

Sirius: no please don’t tell me

James: he started making vegan cookies

Sirius: sinful

Remus to the Peter Won’t Stop Baking Support Group: he got rejected from another school and he’s moved onto making cupcakes

Remus: I think he’s crying

Sirius: i’m in the middle of calc homework i want some pie

Sirius to Peter: james is making a move on evans

Peter: omg no way

Sirius: yes way

Sirius: they’re at her locker

Peter: im across school report everything

Sirius: k well james tried that awkward leaning thing beside her locker and lily dropped her textbook on his foot

Sirius: i dunno whats redder her hair or his face

Sirius: nm his face is way redder

Sirius: he asked if she wanted to meet up for coffee but she thought he meant for tutoring and im dying his face

Peter: maybe this will be the end to all that is perfect about lily evans

James to wtf does duolingo not have elvish????: Lily told me this really clever riddle today

James: i didn;t get it

James: at like all

James: but she was so happy and so cute

James: im gonna marry her

Sirius: u jinxed it peter

James to Remus: I GOT ACCEPTED

Remus: I’m so glad Lily dragged your marks up for admissions

James: ikr same

James to the Peter Won’t Stop Baking Support Group: his mom started selling the cakes that he was making

Sirius: i dunno y i keep offering to eat them

Remus: he made over thirty cakes today

Remus: half of them were coconut flavoured

Sirius: so?

Remus: you’re allergic to coconut????

Sirius: yeah but if i die i don’t have to do homework

James: lucky

Remus: i hate you all so much

Remus left the group.

James added Remus to the group.

Remus left the group.

Sirius added Remus to the group.

Remus: i hate u both

Sirius to Remus: not 2 b political or anything but technically every war is a skeleton war if u think hard about it

Remus: w h y

Peter uploaded a video to james stfu about evans: here we r blessed by remus singing starman

Remus: i remember none of this

James: i thought i was the one that sung that

Peter: no u got really drunk and started moving your lips to the words and got excited that u learned how to talk and not talk at the same time

James: wait what time was this even

Peter: 10pm

Remus: where’s sirius?

Peter: see that questionable lump in the right corner of the video? that’s sirius basically dead

James changed Sirius’s name to questionable lump.

questionable lump: y u do this

James changed the group name to: lily’s eyes are like glitter i swear

Sirius changed the group name to: literally no one cares

Sirius to Remus: i see u

Sirius: posting some whimsy status about college acceptances

Sirius: whatever

Sirius: thats only a little cool, moon man

Sirius: siriusly though congrats

Lily to James: why did sirius throw glitter at me outside homeroom?

James: oh my god

James: im so sorry

Sirius to Peter: did u know that james has been stealing garden gnomes and hiding them under his bed?

Peter: that is the weirdest fetish

Sirius: ikr i wanna hide them in remus’s locker

Sirius: it’ll be really funny

Peter: omg lets

Sirius to the Baking Has Stopped Bless All: the oven is off

James: oh thank god

Remus: wait i was hoping he’d try doughnuts next

Remus to James: do you know if sirius has heard back from any schools yet?

James: dude i was just going to ask u that

Remus: shit

Peter sent three links to Remus: k so i know one of these is a literal dumpster but sirius basically is a dumpster

Remus: i see no difference

Peter: James liked the second one option for the apartment

Remus: oh god i’ve agreed to live with james potter and sirius black in one house

Peter: how bad could it be?

Remus to WHERE DID YOU GET THE GNOMES FROM: wtf guys

Remus: my locker

Remus: they all came falling out

James: wait

James: where did the gnomes come from

Sirius has left the group.

Peter has left the group.

James: damnit they found my stash of gnomes

Remus: ????????????

Lily to Remus: why did you have my mom’s garden gnomes in your locker?

Remus: what

Lily: the gnomes

Lily: i recognized them from the ones that went missing

Remus:this is definitely not what you think

Lily: black stole them didn’t he?

Remus: sure

Lily to Sirius: im gonna find you

James changed the group names to felons or misunderstood falcons?: i wrote lily a poem

Sirius: no no no

James: roses r red, violets r blue

James: i hate flowers but love u

Peter: i can’t tell if that was sweet or not

Sirius: u should totally give that to her

Remus: sirius no

James: im committed to the plan

Remus to Sirius: have you gotten any news from the schools you applied to?

Sirius: yeah funny story

Sirius: i sort of messed up applying

Remus: wait so you didn’t send out any applications??

Sirius: naw just messing with u

Sirius: i heard back months ago

Remus: R U KIDDING ME

Sirius: i broke u this is the best moment of all 88 years of my life.

Sirius: yeah though. haven’t opened anything yet

Remus: you mean you never opened the letters?

Sirius: yeah no i liked the suspense

Remus: jesus christ open them right now i will cut you

Sirius: cool beans i got in

Remus blocked Sirius.

James to Lily: i like u a lot

Lily: ask me out then

James: wait what

Lily: i’ve been literally waiting all year

James: jesus christ will u go out with me

Lily: yeah y not

#lily evans #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #social media #mauraders #mauraders social media #group chat #mine #tag yourself #im sirius

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