#shut up trick

[anxioussailorsoldier]

Tolkien: "...You are familiar with Thorin's style on important occasions, so I will not give you any more of it, thought he went on a good deal longer than this"

#literally his words #the hobbit #bilbo #thorin #bagginshield #lotr #ok but bilbo then immediately drops thorin's full name crossly in response #THORIN SON OF THRAIN SON OF THROR OAKENSHIELD IF YOU'RE SAYING IT'S MY JOB TO GO INTO THE SECRET PASSAGE FIRST THEN JUST SAY THAT #it's perfect #I rewatched all the movies and now i'm rereading the book and I love all the differences #this one in particular stood out like a sore thumb #thorin is actually a chatty cathy #there's pages on pages of just him monologuing at the start #gandalf tries to interrupt and thorin just straight up talks louder over the top of him #“getting him to shut up is the trick” #this is one of my original fandoms - I'll always love them #fun fact about me I have 22 different copies of the hobbit #love me a hobbit

[evilkaeya]

ADA member: hey tell me about your pm days-

Dazai: :[

ADA member: -with Chuuya

Dazai: :D

#bro is so fond of their time together #literally cannot shut up abt it #'we used to pull this trick all the time! :D' no one asked but okay #atsushi once made the mistake of saying 'was chuuya san this strong when he was my age?' near dazai #and had to sit through 3 hours of chuuya rant #he promised himself to never bring up chuuya near dazai ever again #skk

[justarandomidiot1]

He died

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka #arataka reigen #ghost trick #id in alt text #artists on tumblr #unrelated to this drawing (or kind of) but ive been thinking up a ghost trick au for mp100 lol #i havent figured out everything but ritsu is in lynne’s role bc i think the ritsu + reigen dynamic would be funny in this scenario #reigen: *smiling smugly at ritsu’s fifth death* // ritsu knowing that he needs reigen’s help to prevent his death: shut the fuck up #oh yeah ritsu as lynne also bc i put mob for jowd’s role where everyone believes he did smth but ritsu doesnt believe he did it #but mob believed he deserves to be jailed even if he didnt do it

[sandersgrey]

AUs where either Geralt or Jaskier fake their own deaths after the mountain are good but what about an AU where Jaskier doubles down and fakes Geralt's.

Nilfgaard cant hunt you if it doesnt think youre alive!!

#alex wont shut up #geralt of rivia #the witcher #jaskier #geraskier #in my heart at least #the sandpiper staying behind to make sure others have the chance to run #what. are you gonna argue w the Whute wolfs own bard? #if they see another witcher w white hair well. he never said there wasnt only one #thats clearly a trick to bait the nilfgaardian army into hunting a ghost #dont you think the cowardly bard would be cowering behind him if he were alive? exactly #nothing to see here. keep walking.

[swagveryswagamazinf]

WAOOO MIMORIANA💥💥💥🎉🎉

#elmariana #my art #fanart #el mariana #BIG DAY FOR MIME ENTHUSIASTS #I GOT SO HAPPY WHEN HE REVEALED HOW HE WAS DRESSED #I will never shut up about mimoriana my beloved he's v silly I don't care what everyone says #people saying he is scary and yeah ¡¡¡ but I love him so whatever . #ALSO HE WAS DOING MAGIC TRICKS AND I WAS LIKE HOLYYY SHITT HOW DID HE DO THAT #v good stream I will cherish it forever thsnk uou #wjat other tag do I put

[dictee]

that screenshot from twitter of their clasped hands during the mardi gras dance. i don’t even know how i feel about this. i have exactly zero thoughts about it . not even in a horny way. i’m just struck silent. like. okay. sure.

#i just know that in like betsy’s human college au lestat sees some sorority girls doing the let’s compare hand sizes flirting trick and is #like Louwie give me your hand 🖐️ haha your fingers are much smaller than mine blah blah #and louis is like shut up you’re stupid . but then he thinks about it for the next five weeks #this is so embarrassing i wish i could hide my posts from specific people like on instagram 🤦🏻 #iwtv

[ughgoaway]

happy (late) halloween omg ace! i am so glad to see we are all in shambles over the halloween show i swear matty chose violence (quite literally) with the patrick bateman costume like..... will instantly be imprisoned if I voiced my thoughts about those photos bye-

also the halloween blurb???????? mainly just sending this to scream ab how it literally killed me bye this is so stupid but it instantly made me so happy to read after work and oh i am weepy and weak at the idea of annie masterminding a group costume 😭 even the simplest or ur writings i absolutely adore (still not over the massive list of pre reader dad matty blurbs oh that made my DAY i tell u...)

can we just.... the idea of annie begging u to join them trick or treating,,,, and reader meeting mayhem and mayhem holding the candy bucket in his mouth while annie shows u how well she can walk the 'massive horse dog' 😭😭 and the way u just fit in their unit together so well... oh matty absolutely can feel his heart bursting at the sight gn (and also u getting mistaken for being annies mom/his wife multiple times and the way he just cannot handle how oddly right it feels.... bye!)

(bff anon hopes ur doing better ace! just know basically anything u post..... ive basically read bye need to stop lurking like an insane person 💀 xx)

HAPPY VERY LATE HALLOWEEN!!! It is my fault this is so late, I just couldn't stop talking… are we shocked tho? Jail is calling my name with some of the things I said in dms… let alone my thoughts FUCKING HELL. it was too good-

Stop I'm so glad you liked it, I just love them on Halloween so much. The fact that it made you happy after work actually just added 20 years to my life I'm so glad!!!! I made your day?!?!? Please I'm gonna vomit. You are so sweet and kind. Those ideas were all so fucking good, a google doc has been created bc I loved them so much. You are a genius truly.

Literally, this idea has been living in my mind rent-free in my mind ever since you sent it. MAYHEM HOLDING THE BUCKET YOU'RE KIDDING. Any mayhem content and I am obsessed (hence the mayhem reference in the actual fic), but this image has me sobbing.

(lots more insanity below the cut)

I am gonna alter what you said so slightly bc teacher girlie is PROFESSIONAL and she has work/life boundaries… sometimes… let's say Annie does BEG you to come trick or treating with them and you have to break it to her that you definitely cannot do that but you hope she has the best time ever. “But miss y/n I want you to meet my doggy, he's coming with us. He's gonna be scooby doo! My daddy is shaggy, and I’m Daphne. He's trying to get my uncle George to be Fred, but he wants to have a party with my auntie Charli. They are gonna be-” You have to cut in before Annie gives you a detailed list of everyone she knows costumes (but also, isn't the Scooby gang iconic for them all?!). 

You, of course, have a pumpkin out and are waiting for trick-or-treaters and have the full-size chocolate bars because you always wanted to be that house. A knock at your door happens, and you come running to it in your Wizard of Oz costume. Who is behind that door but the whole Healy family? Matty just makes a noise of shock that he later over-thinks massively, “but Ross, it was such a weird noise. I basically choke-coughed at her. No stop laughing-” Ross eventually assures Matty you didn't notice. 

You did and later tease him about it when you finally get together, “I swear I had to actually bite the inside of my cheek to not laugh, it was so ridiculous” and Matty is like “Can you blame me?? You were in that cute little dress, and you had those plaits with the bows on the end. You were asking me to choke on thin air when you dress like that, sweetheart.” And you're like… “well I think I still have that costume in my wardrobe upstairs if you'd be interested in-”. Immediately, his face lights up, “WHICH ONE? THE BIG WARDROBE OR THE SMALL ONE?” he shouts whilst dragging you up the stairs as you giggle uncontrollably.

Anyway, sorry I got distracted, HALLOWEEN! They're reasonably late in the night, and somehow Matty gatherers himself enough to talk to you, “ohmygod hi!” he says and awkwardly waves, another moment he thinks about far too often (“Why couldn't I do anything normal around you.” and you reassure him “dont worry, babe. it was cute, I swear”) 

Annie perks up and shows you mayhem who just adores you, wagging his tail and you bend down to his level and he's licking all over your face and you just can't stop laughing, matty is mortified. “Oh god y/n I’m so sorry he isn't normally this friendly, very weird actually… but please just- oh mayhem please can you stop-” and he's tugging at the lead trying not to die of embarrassment.

You insist it is fine, and Annie begs you to walk him “Just for a little bit miss y/n! Because then you can see how strong he is and then how strong I am because I walk him all by myself” This comment has you looking at Matty behind her who just shakes his head, confirming that this, in fact, is not true and just another Annie exaggeration.

You agree, grab your bag and come to walk with them for a bit, only after confirming with Matty about 30 times that it's really okay, “are you sure I do not want to intrude” you ask and Matty just dies at your kind eyes looking up at him whilst cuddling mayhem.

“Of course! I'm sure Dorothy would be good friends with the Scooby gang. Please, walk with us” and he offers his hand to pull you up. It's the first time you've really touched, and god, the spark flying thing may seem like a fairytale, but you both swear in that moment that you actually get a shock from the touch. Of course, his hand lingers a little longer than necessary as you stare at each other just vaguely holding hands. Your brain catches up, and you start moving, but god, you wish that moment could've dragged on forever, as does Matty.

As soon as you and Matty get properly talking, you end up walking with them for a longgg time. One house in particular though makes a mistake that lives on in infamy in your relationship in the future.

“oh god, that one house that thought we were together, that moment was on replay in my head for weeks after. The idea that someone else could see us together just confirmed to me I was head over heels for you, and then sadly solidified that it couldn't happen after you corrected her and I was sharply reminded you were my daughter's teacher”

Maybe it's an older woman who opens the door and jumps at mayhem originally but is soon cooing over him and giving him milk bones, “What a pretty boy” and Annie is giggling and telling the woman all about her “horse dog” (nice reference btw bff anon I love u).

Soon, she looks up and actually addresses you and Matty, “Sorry! You must be mum and dad. What a lovely little girl you've raised, and what a beautiful couple you are! Reminds me of me and my husband, constantly talking and laughing” You and matty just stand there open-mouthed like fish for a good few seconds. Annie is, of course, laughing hysterically. You both stutter out explanations, “Oh no-” “Oh I'm actually her teacher. It's a funny story so they knocked and i was like-” Of course, the woman apologised profusely, but the comment haunts you and Matty for WEEKS.

Perhaps a few more people coo at your “lovely family” and perhaps you just… stop correcting them…

Cut to Matty talking to himself (and mayhem) at 3 a.m. in the kitchen whilst making tea, “No it's totally normal people thought that. Man + woman + child + dog = family. and so what we stopped correcting them?? That's normal too… We just got sick of it. And it's also fine that it made me feel weird. It was a weird situation. Anyone would get butterflies at someone saying they're a nice couple. Right, mayhem?” and Mayhem somehow gives him a look that says “Really?” and Matty sighs and nods.

I think this might be the moment he goes “fuck.” and realises he really does like you. And he just… freaks out. Calls Ross and talks a million miles an hour.

I'M SO SORRY I LITERALLY CANT SHUT UP, WHEN WILL I STOP?!

I am doing much better and I literally cannot believe someone likes my bullshit enough to read my posts, I am genuinely obsessed with you?!?! KEEP LURKING I LOVE IT! I LOVE YOU!!!

blurb masterlist here!!

#late Halloween stuff bc i love Halloween too much #the idea of trick or treating with matty has killed me thanks for asking #ace cant shut tf up again #bff anon <33333 #anon! #teacher au! #matty healy fanfic

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

The funniest part of Much Ado About Nothing is at the masque ball when Benedick tries to tease Beatrice, her response is to take the insults and deflect them with a far worse burn, while Benedick's response to her insults is to be a little bitch and whine about them, which is exactly what Beatrice said he'd do.

#Benedick started it and then he could not take what he dished out #like Beatrice started their first fight which Benedick won #and she stalked off with a respectable 'you always end with a jade's trick' #meanwhile everyone and their mother at the ball knows that Beatrice got his ass simply bc Benedick couldn't shut up about it #much ado about nothing

[nabhx]

Whatever song was keeping Holt there during the Trick-or-Treatment has probably been removed from every device and playlist he has, right? Vibes ruined. Straight up.

#i think about the trick-or-treatment like maybe once a day #once every 2 days idk #when will i shut up about it? #not for a while #probably #literally just started actually #really almost killed my mans #didn't even give him a new doll #compensate him smh #nab stop posting non-art on the art blog challenge #my bad #i'll go draw now sdjdjdj #monster high #ghouls rule #monster high headcanons #sort of #holt hyde

[chirpsythismorning]

I thought toxic Milkvans already went as low as they possibly could. And yet one of them coming on here to pose as a Will stan/El anti, saying that no one on the show loves her and so she should just die in s5, is a new level of low with which I have not fully wrapped my head around yet.

#byler #stranger things #like im genuinely concerned and disturbed #and yes i know it was a milkvan… #the most well known toxic milkvan on Twitter #either that or one of their mutuals #bc I rambled about willel twins to them #and at the same time as that was happening one of them tweeted willels need to SHUT THE FUCK UP #it’s just sad bro #so sad #you say you love el #and then the moment you get insecure about milkvan #your solution to quelling those doubts starting to add up #is to roleplay as an el anti #to try to trick bylers into saying they hate el? so you can say SEEE? HA! I KNEW IT…? #like literally just days ago this account was saying they hated Will #and that bylers hate el they just pretend they don’t #like this is so sad dude #they deactivated the tumblr #obviously #hope theyre back on Twitter and coping by enjoying milkvan content #instead of getting off on targeting strangers on entirely different platforms #over a fictional ship!!!!!

[sideblogdotjpeg]

i have the power to make any song about podcast character

#..... #i KNOW it was a taz fansong. i KNOW its literally about taako taako #..... BUT. #'i have lived a hundred lives and i have died a dozen times but the reaper hasnt caught me yet' #'i have learned a trick or two though ive forgotten quite a few' #'might have told a hundred lies twice as many half as true' #'waiting as a i fail to rise' #'faces newly strange id find none of them resembling mine' #'for i had been your long lost twin closer than a second skin and now i am alone again' #not going to say what character because its embarrasing and you already know who it is #'its a reach' I KNOWW SHUT UP. BUT I HAVE TO THINK ABT CHARACTRR ON THE BUS OKAY.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

phone calls my detested

#i had to make a vet appointment and Wow i am not cut out for this whole independent adult thing lmfao #i had to write down a little script for myself... #i feel so bad for the receptionist i was stumbling and 'uhhhhh'ing my way through that call #fuck and when i was supposed to end the call. i didnt realize #I DONT KNOW THE PROTOCOL OKAY #do i hang up??? do i say bye??? she didnt say bye so was there something else i was supposed to say #she hung up so Yay but oughhhhhhh what the fuck #youre telling me people just Know how to carry a conversation? they just Know the routine? sounds fake #i had to rev myself up for the call too #put on a hat. put on sunglasses to trick my brain into thinking we're outside doing things thus fabricating confidence #phone in one hand fidget-dodecahedron in the other. Pacing #my brain is a normal brain that works perfectly fine thanks for asking #absolutely unprompted #i feel so connected to my neanderthal ancestors when i have to make a call #theyre being stalked by a smilodon... i have to talk to a person... same Fear <3 #no but fr whenever i have to talk to someone my thought process shuts down Completely and i forget that im a living human being #fight or flight - neither. freeze and play dead #i think in my next life... i would like to be... a decorative plant #perhaps one of those tall ferns outside a seaside barbecue restaurant #i'd Win at that life. id be so good at photosynthesizing & rustling in the ocean breeze

[atinylittlepain]

Hey girl don’t cry, add a Parmesan rind to your soup broth then reduce it to a simmer for thirty minutes

#gin shut up #literally my favorite lil trick tho

[fangsforfags]

mutuals if we went through a haunted house wld u let me grab ur hand really tight if i got scared?

#i want to go through a haunted house w/ my friends....go halloween shopping...trick or treating even.... #haha make me shut up challenge

[gregoftom]

pretty sure i’ve seen romance movies with scenes like this

#tomgreg #where do i even start with t his horseshit okay here we fucking go. #so tom's first instinct is to go to greg when he's on shaky ground with shiv. the only way he feels safe is to have GREG with him. #who tf would want greg as an attack dog??!?!? lets be fucking real. when he says that i think he means just a dog. just someone loyal. #who loves him and won't dick him around. i think he's pretty tired of it by now. #he wants an alliance with like. ok in this show who would you pick to ally with. i love greg but he's abso useless in terms of skills that #would keep you safe. if anything TOM would keep HIM safe. in fact tom himself says who else has taken care of you. literally spells it out. #he even says greg is a joke; will fail; will fuck up; so what use does he have for tom other than companionship. other than love? #a dog might do tricks for you but your main reason for getting one is usually love. right? at least it should be. it would be in tom's case. #and don't even fucking get me STARTED on ''do you wanna come with me? ...sporus?" like girl. #you know what you told him about nero and sporus right. and now you're saying to him; yeah i was talking about you. #you and me. you're my favourite and i wasn't joking when i said i'd marry you. #the whole while tom is asking greg to be his attack dog his fuckin. eyes and expression we get it you're in love with him. like it's ridic. #and all this coming with phrasing it sounds like they're fucking ELOPING. I HATE IT!!!!!! SHUT UP! stop saying that fucking shit god. god #they are so annoying. anyway #the way tom's voice breaks as he says he has things to do [what things. will i find out later.] and the deal and!! #what am i gonna do with a soul anyways... i have you what do i need it for. and as that paragraph said somewhere. he castrates his soul. #then they giggle and are fucking annoying and greg'S HANDS LOOK LIK EHE'S ABOUT TO IDK. HUG TOM? AROUND THE MIDDLE MAYBE #or do something else. and then they just hug instead and i fucking. ugh. i've had enough tbh good fucking bye

[honorthysalad]

figured I'd post the rest of the screenshots I took from the light novel. not quite as wild as the others one.

#the translator gets really really confused with pronouns #the summer hikaru died #hikaru ga shinda natsu #hgsn #my hgsn shit #Yeah idk if Yoshiki was being weirdly misogynistic to kurebayashi or if the translator was acting up #She said 9 words and Yoshiki immediately went ‘god why won’t women just shut the fuck up for once 🙄’ #‘Blowing so much hot air I’m being swept away’ #But google translate has tricked me before with much more complete sentences so who knows