#shutupdashnobodycares

[captainbritish]

Every now and then I get a message or a mention from someone who enjoyed my old-ass content and it still blows my mind every time, be it my old YouTube or MLP stuff.

In December I had someone draw art of my Colgate for the first time in nearly a decade that legit made me cry, I've gotten messages from people saying they watched my old YouTube content growing up and it's now nostalgic for them, asking for links to long-since privated videos because I was embarrassed about them.

It's so easy to look at a video of mine from back in the day and hate it, to see it only got like 1k views and think that confirms it was a waste of time... But, in reality, that was a thousand fucking people who took time out of their day to watch me ramble... And somehow, through all the noise and the endless stream of content on the internet, a few of them remembered me.

Maybe this all sounds self-centered but the fact that a decade later there are at least four whole people who look back fondly on my work? It makes me so fucking happy.

I never thought I'd make it to my thirties, in the early 2010s I was prepared to die almost every day, I almost did on several occasions. But, in spite of everything, I'm still here to see that the things I made at the peak of my depression... Meant something to someone, and I cannot put into words how much that means to me. That's all I ever wanted, to brighten a few people's day enough for them to look back fondly on that time.

So... However many of you are still around from those days, thank you for spending your time with me.

#shutupdashnobodycares

[dashthroughalens]

I think this may well be the most complicated restoration I’ve done to date. It’s not perfect by any means, but I had next to nothing to work with here. Obviously the shirt was kind of messed up by the scaling process, but I couldn’t quite fix it without making it look unnatural.

I literally had to rebuild the face from the ground up by mashing together different bits of different people’s faces, so it looks kind of uncanny valley but I’m kind of proud of it anyway?

Bonus mid-restoration no chin version:

#shutupdashnobodycares #Images #photo restoration #restoration #oldschoolcool #photography #photomanipulation

[namesforbenedictcumberbatch]

Hubert Cumberdale?

#shutupdashnobodycares #Sherlock #Salad Fingers

[captainbritish]

I can't help but wonder... How many queer folk discovered themselves through the Brony fandom? Seriously though.

I swear, every other person from Tumblrpon or the pony fandom who I look back on now and then, each of whom used to identify as cisgender and straight, now identifies as LGBTQIA+ in some way.

One of them I remember getting in a really hardcore debate with someone on my dashboard about how it's okay for straight dudes to like My Little Pony, which was ofc but they were SO impassioned defending against slightest bit of theoretical emasculation. Now they identify fully as a woman attracted to men. A complete 180.

And the same shit applies to me. For all my regrets surrounding those days and all the dodgy people I met, would I ever have accepted being trans without the fandom? Would I ever have realized that sex and gender means nothing when it comes to the people I love? Maybe. Who knows.

It feels embarrassing to say, but those days were insanely formative when it came to accepting myself.

I wish I hadn't been so ashamed of that and given away most of my colourful horses.

#shutupdashnobodycares #i'm feeling kinda nostalgic #just musing on that tbh #mlp #my little pony #bronies

[captainbritish]

Just found out that people are selling weed edibles on Etsy but they're very, very vague about it which leads to stuff like this.

Oh to be a fly on the wall when this poor woman first realized that these brownies were BROWNIES.

#shutupdashnobodycares

[captainbritish]

I know I'm late to the meme, but I don't think this joke has been made yet.

#spongebob squarepants #there are many benefits to being a marine biologist #shutupdashnobodycares #meme

[captainbritish]

I just realized that Twitter still holds onto all your tweets even after they're deleted, so here's a post of me shitting on my 18 year old self.

You got mugged and it triggered your agoraphobia so bad you proceeded to not leave the house for years, lel

You still haven't written it, you re-write it periodically every few years.

Rip, you came out as trans. Obviously because Old Spice didn't come to Britain soon enough.

You fucked up, laddie.

After this point things become mostly Pony related for a while...

Oof.

#shutupdashnobodycares

[captainbritish]

As I slowly work towards re-booting my YouTube channel, I done did myself a new logo with a bit of the ol' Mighty Boosh flair.

Yeee

#shutupdashnobodycares #youtube reboot

[captainbritish]

My laptop sticker collection keeps growing :D If you can name everything on here we'd probably be mates.

#shutupdashnobodycares

[captainbritish]

I never carved pumpkins as a kid so this is only like my second attempt. I did a gastly and a lenny face B)

Bonus "Khajiit has wares if you have coin" picture.

#halloween #jack o lantern #shutupdashnobodycares #black cat

[captainbritish]

I love how it seems like the original Sonic Movie was kind of just used as a foundation, not a whole lot of references or lore deep cuts, but now that the film franchise is established and successful it seems like they're going all out with the game references.

It makes me very happy.

#shutupdashnobodycares

[captainbritish]

Weird sentimental post time but, anyone who does/used to do art, you guys ever think back to the first time someone commissioned you? I just did and it's mental how good that felt at the time, the knowledge that someone actually thought my work was good enough to be worth money.

@beeskeepony Thanks fam.

#shutupdashnobodycares

[captainbritish]

Ngl I'm kind of tired of having to preface every instance of talking about my eating disorder with someone for the first time with "I know I don't look like it" or something more self-depreciating.

I wish more people understood that an eating disorder doesn't automatically mean that you're going to be skinny. Weight gain comes from many other places than just food.

It's so disheartening because I know that's the first thing some people are thinking when I bring it up.

That is all.

#shutupdashnobodycares #tw: mental health #tw: ed #tw: eating disorder

[captainbritish]

Tempted to just scrap the idea of having a character to host this shitty YouTube series I wanna' do. As much as I appreciate the work of the few people I've spoken to willing to help draw the channel art, things keep falling by the wayside... Which is fine, I can't be mad when I have next to zero budget to pay them. But fuuuccckk.

Guess at least I have a character design now rather than a vague idea of what they should look like :u

Time was when I couldn't move for artist friends. Rip that time period. Rip Tumblrpon.

Maybe I should just make the host a pony, that's all I can draw.

#shutupdashnobodycares

[captainbritish]

I think I found the origin point of us entering the worst timeline. Hm.

#shutupdashnobodycares

[captainbritish]

I'm legit freaking out over Doctor Who for the first time in years, it actually feels good as SHIT. I miss being hyped about stuff, man. It never happens any more.

Even RTD's worst episodes were still ENJOYABLE, MAN.

FUCK

#shutupdashnobodycares