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squarebracketsmileyface · 4 months

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A Pearl by Mitski is kinda post Jaylex into Jam territory if you think about it.

Hello? Mind reader?? You are so correct???

This is even better mind reading because of what I was writing like right before I remembered i had this ask and wanted to answer it and shit. Like???? This is very much post Jaylex and into Jam, BUT it is also post Jaylex the first time they "broke up" oh my god.

Hang on, I'll explain it with the lyrics lol

Lyric analysis time because for some reason this is like my favourite thing to do when I wanna think about sorry its locked but can't actually write it for whatever reason.

You're growing tired of me You love me so hard and I still can't sleep You're growing tired of me And all the things I don't talk about

SO ABOUT THAT POST JAYLEX'S FIRST 'BREAK UP' ehehhehehehehehheheh. Right, so, after Alex started dating Amy in college, Jay did (eventually) start trying to, like, date and have sex with other people. He never really managed to date anyone, it was always just not-quite-actually-casual casual sex. And they always ended up getting tired of Jay, because they were trying their best and he was hung up on Alex still (and would be for the next rest-of-his-life) And Jay never actually talked to them about why he was the way he way, just learned to warn them ahead of time to try and scare them away so that he wouldn't end up getting hurt when they inevitably got too upset with him over something and broke it off with him.

And, obviously. Yeah, Jam. Jay's so worried that the same thing that happened with Alex and all the other people is gonna happen with Tim, and if it did it'd probably break him even worse than Alex did, honestly. Purely because the stuff with Tim would stack on top of the stuff with Alex and they'd become one thing and Jay would just not know how to deal with that literally at all.

Sorry, I don't want your touch It's not that I don't want you Sorry, I can't take your touch

Pre first Jaylex break up. Yeah. One of the reasons Jay got broken up with by at least one person was that they were meant to behaving casual sex, and Jay went through a period of time where he just, really really couldn't. Which like, fair, and fair i guess for the person being like, yeah i'll go find someone else to have sex with. but also they did it in a nasty way so never mind, fuck them lmao. (I just love putting Jay through shit lmao, I'm so sorry to that poor guy, I need to write a lil fluffy oneshot of him and Tim just being okay)

It's just that I fell in love with a war Nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night Just to watch it glow Every night, baby, that's where I go

Ow. Just. Ow.

Cos, yeah, Jay did. He really, really did fall in love with a war didn't he? That whole relationship with Alex was just this constant series of battles with himself and his feelings for Alex, and battles with Alex himself because of how he treated Jay and how Jay wanted to be treated. And his brain can't fully comprehend that Tim's not going to just be the exact same as everyone else, the exact same as Alex. And the thing is that Tim IS going to be different, but they're not going to have enough time for Jay's head to actually wrap itself around that so that he can believe it.

And obviously, they never could get enough time, because of all the shit with the operator, but Tim at least is holding out hope that they'll both survive is and they'll get the time afterwards.

Sorry, I don't want your touch It's not that I don't want you Sorry, I can't take your touch

Jay's so scared that having issues with intimacy is gonna fuck up his chances with Tim, but it wont. Logically he knows it wont (and I refuse to make them angsty enough that Jay wouldn't bother to say no if he didn't wanna do something) but there is still this little part of his head that says that if he goes too long not wanting to have sex, it'll somehow fuck something up.

There's a hole that you fill You fill, you fill

Also I fully intend for Jay to be very unhealthy about Tim :] Just like he was very unhealthy about Alex (especially back in college)

Poor guy's gonna fucking idolize Tim once he realizes Tim really really actually likes him. Which, y'know. Not good. Thankfully Jay's lil eventual obsession or whatever it is (idk, a hyperfixation on a person? that's what I called it. Basically, pretty much every waking thought Jay has is somehow about Tim/reminds him of Tim, if Tim is even slightly in a bad mood Jay assumes it's because of him and gets viciously terrified that Tim's going to leave him and hate him forever, he'd accept any kind of 'penance' or punishment from Tim for whatever he did wrong, if anything bad happens to Tim Jay get's violently enraged and wants to 'fix it' the quickest way possible, etc. He basically feels like Tim is perfect and he can't live without him. idk if that makes sense? I'm tired and never figured out what the fuck this thingy is, but i'm giving it to Jay)

Tim is Jay's missing piece, and Jay's going to hack at his own edges to make sure that Tim fits him, just like he did back in college to try and make Alex fit him.

He's just made up of pieces of himself and other people that he sawed off and cobbled together to make sure that the person he was in love with would perfectly 'complete' and 'fix' him.

But it's just that I fell in love with a war And nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night Just to watch it glow Every night, baby, that's where I go Just to watch it glow

goddamnit now i wanna plan a fic to dive into Tim and Jay's relationship after sorry its locked and before Jay dies, just so I can make Jay not okay and Tim not okay, but their brand of not okay works well enough for the short amount of time they have together. If Jay lived they'd have the worlds messiest break up oh my god lmao.

why do i torture them like this?

#Also like oh my god i've been looking for this song for so fucking long because meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lmao #honestly tho. this is such a perfect song for Jaylex as a whole. and the start of Jam #Mostly it's about Jay just being very unhealthy about all the people he falls in love with #he can't be fixed in the amount of time he has left. but if he lived and didn't end up running the fuck away from Tim i think he could heal #and still stay in a relationship with Tim. but itd be really hard and a LOT of work #they could do it. but also sorry its locked has everyone who dies in canon die in it. because i love the angst of:#“Jay dies in Alex's arms because he can't deny himself the chance to be held by Alex one last time” and:#Alex goes to Tim for help dying because he literally can't kill himself and he's so broken over having to kill Jay that he doesn't care #anymore. And he knows Tim has managed to live with the Operator sickness. so if anyone is left alive. yeah it should be Tim #That's too much words in the tags woops #marble hornets #marble hornets fanfic #alex kralie #tim wright #marble hornets fanfiction #jay merrick #jaylex #mh jam #MH sorry its locked

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skydreamplayzz · 7 months

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Tourmaline: I came to return you this * shows a teddy bear * after all the dad gave you this when you

(sorry for not being active rn)

Y'know what. Imma make that He has a bunch of plushies, like he's a plushie Collector. And plushies bring him comfort.

#undertale oc #undertale #undertale au #sans oc #simple!sans #When He Sees a plushie He Likes He buys it right away.#If he has money With him-.#Or He asks one of his parents -w-#But I also See him starting to get Bad habits-#Idk wich ones but idk #Or sicknesses - idk tho #Just my head wanting Angst

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lynxalon · 20 days

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HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT THAT CRITROLE EP WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! im SO glad we had the set up of the last one so we could have the big thrills of this!!!!!!!!! this had everything!! it had ira's bad (and good!) decisions! it had sam's out of pocket wacky can shenanigans!! it had deception and sneaking! it had badass plays and some.. eye-catching talents 👀 it had gross shit that's kinda actually sad if u think about it! it had walking (running) away from explosions (NOT a sunglasses moment this was a loserfail) it had .. terrifying parents. it had imodna momence !! :D it even had some unprecedented wins for our typically fighty/flighty adventurers!!! i will ABSOLUTELY be watching that again come monday!!!!!!!!!!

#lynx speaks #cr spoilers #now to expand upon these!!! i am THRILLED that there has been a more overt notice of orym's hex 😏#thats what i've been excited for for aaaaaaages i adore orym esp when he gets a little more fucked up #what can i say im a bit of an angst fan myself :D #fcg gave ira SUCH a bad time tho like CMON BBYYYYY 1 MINUTE ?!?!?!?!?!! yall r LUCKY yalls r cool af #also tho.... ira actually saving fearne like 👀 i see it!!! i think simply everyone likes fearne and everyone would save her 😎#and team infiltrate i loooved imogen's use of that damn .. what was it called ? the damn static bomb that was sick as hell!!!#and hey!! both teams got in and out without anyone catching on that it was bells hells helping!#is that a first for bh? cause it sure feels like it TBH like the feywild malleus key stunt did NAWT go this smoothly #even with the bumps they had they did terrific frfr #esp with imogen setting up oryms badass fighter play and launda and chet setting each other up for success #and it does FEEL like imogen is more powerful on ruidus just from the plays she makes like the static spell and how it set Everyone up #to protect them all and keep their enemies in bad positions so that bh had good positions #they barely got hits and orym and chet took the brunt of it #they got out everoa and themselves without too much hassle and i'd say team mcfuckin 'splosion did pretty fucken well too #more damage on their side but. thatssss not their fault thats mainly on ira (and fcg 😂)#gosh. goshhh. what a good fucking episode. and sorrowlord zathuda. and liliana. fuck bro.#zathuda is SCARY #and liliana i meaaaaaaan. hun what did u THINK 🧐 imogen meant when she told u to run?? 🤔 'did she know' u know the answer to that.#i was definitely excited cause. we knew the volition were gonna fail in killing liliana. but i felt in my heart that she was gonna #feel betrayed by imogen. despite creating the scenario in which imogen must 'betray' her.#i LOVE fucked up mothers cant waaaaait to see what happens next !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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ganseythethrd · 9 months

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retreating from my private twitter reading account to say that the marauders is a huge fucking fandom now tell me why i cant find any filo socmed aus

#like where are all the filipinos #where is everyone. i cant be the only one #imagine filipino jily and wolfstar #imagine the humor #you cant do this to me #marauders #jily #wolfstar #IM BEGGINGGGG #while we're here does anyone know any jily fics where lily realizes her feelings for James too late. like he gets sick of being rejected at #every turn and just. stops #the angst people the angst #still need it to be jily centric tho #ok thats it mwah #lily evans #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black

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redstainedglasses · 1 year

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Mi Familia

Vertebrae's numerous attempts to breathe life into her collection have always ended in failure. But she won't give up. She can't.

#[ vertebrae's clown guidebook ]#[ clown sightings ]#rodentbloodart #comic #--body horror #--bones #--death #--loss #--angst #--necromancy #//this took me so lonnnnnnnggggg 😭#//I'm so sick of looking at it lmaoooo there's so many errors but I just wanted to be done sdfjlkaj #//I'm glad I pushed through and finished it tho! my first real attempt at a comic (that I can remember lmao)

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shsy7573 · 10 months

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We’re in This Together - Ch. 12

For more info or chapter index, see overview post

WARNING: This chapter contains segments of character death. (SPOILER’S FOR CHAPTER : It’s fine tho I swear)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own own Voyager or any of the characters in this fic (except for the aliens. Those were my creation.)

*This story is not beta-read and has not been edited or proof-read in any way! This was just something I threw together over the past three days and decided to post as my first entry on this site!*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER TWELVE

B’Elanna watched Janeway’s laboured breathing as she slept. Even though she was sleeping, the Starfleet Captain’s expression was anything but peaceful. Her pain, it seemed, was potent enough to follow her into unconsciousness. Voyager’s Chief Engineer brushed her knuckles gently over the woman’s cheek, and watched as her expression softened ever so slightly.

The touch, despite how soft, was enough to jostle her from sleep. Her eyes face contorted as the full force of the pain came back. She opened her eyes a crack to see her Lieutenant smiling down at her.

“Sorry, Captain. I didn’t mean to wake you. You can go back to sleep if you’d like.”

Kathryn huffed, starting to sit up. Immediately she regretted it as the whole world went out of focus, and black dots danced at the edges of her vision. She fell un gracefully back down with a thump, and closed her eyes.

“That’s all right… I don’t… I don’t think… I’ll be going… back to sleep… anytime soon.”

Torres furrowed her eyebrows in sympathy. “Do you want a pain killer? We have used them for a while. I took one this morning when I woke up for my shift.”

Kathryn shook her head slightly, the best she could manage in her agony. “They don’t… help.”

The engineer placed a gentle hand on her Captain’s forehead. She winced at the heat of the Captain’s skin, and turned to pull out the woman’s water.

“Here,” she murmured, pouring some of the cold liquid onto the woman’s face, “this should help a little. Drink some too.”

B’Elanna helped sit Janeway up enough so that she could comfortably drink. When she’d had enough, the engineer set her bottle back down, and lowered the Captain into her lap.

“Thanks,” Kathryn breathed, blinking groggily up at her companion. The feeling of the cool water on her skin was an instant relief, but it was short lived as the area slowly warmed up again.

“Anytime.”

Kathryn closed her eyes again as her breathing returned to its heavy, slow rhythm.

“I wish there was something I could do to make you more comfortable.”

Janeway inhaled deeply before responding, “you’re… doing… your best… Voyager… be here… soon.”

B’Elanna couldn’t help but wince again as the Captain spoke. Every one of her words seemed to take a little more out of her. Torres couldn’t even begin to imagine what sort of pain the woman was in.

“Yes, they’ll be here soon. Just save your strength. I’m not going anywhere.”

The Captain hummed, and swallowed harshly in response.

“I hate to break it to you, Captain, but I don’t think you’ll be able to jump right into work after this. I know you really miss looking over the system's reports, but the Doctor’s gonna be on your ass about resting for at least a week.”

B’Elanna was reworded by a couple of small, barely audible chuckles that jostled the Captain’s body.

“I’m still looking forward to that sonic shower. And after that, you’re welcome to join me on the holodeck or you like. I was thinking of forcing Tom to write me a new program. Or, I supposed I could do it myself, but- who has the time for that? Nothing too spectacular, thinking a nice, long quiet beach with soft white sand, big blue waves, and no tunnels of caverns in sight. Maybe a couple people out in the water, just having fun and living in the moment.”

As Torres spoke, Kathryn allowed herself to get lost in the words. She imagined herself on such a beach, and the thought made her smile. The warmth of the sun on her, the cool breeze blowing in from the sea as the setting sun turned the sky pink. Big waves on the horizon, where you could just make out a couple of surfers getting the last of their waves in before turning in for the night. It was where Janeway wished she was right now.

“It sounds… nice…” she rasped.

“Yeah? I thought so too. With you on my side, maybe you can order Tom to make it.”

The Captain smiled at this, and B’Elanna took it as a win.

After a couple hours, the Captain’s breathing really started to shallow out. B’Elanna had taken to holding her hand firmly as she struggled to stay awake.

“Just hold on a little longer Captain. Help is on the way.”

The only sigh that Janeway both heard and understood the Lieutenant was a small squeeze of her hand. B’Elanna squeezed back, running a hand across the woman’s face.

“Give me one second, okay? I’m just gonna check to see if the homing beacon is still active.”

Gently, B’Elanna let go of the Captain, and took off her comm. badge. Amazingly, even after all the floods and spider-attacks and rock climbing they’d done, it had remained stubbornly pinned to her Starfleet uniform. Speaking of said uniform, it had seen better days. There were several holes in the fabric, the biggest ones being on her chest and around her back.

Upon inspecting her badge, she was able to confirm that the homing beacon was still indeed active. That was good. It meant Voyager would know just where to find them when it arrived.

She placed the badge back on her uniform, and grabbed the Captain’s hand again. Not even bothered with how covered in sweat it was.

“Good news, Captain. Looks like our luck hasn’t completely run out yet. The badge is still working.”

The woman’s lips twitched, B’Elanna took at as the best the attempt woman could muster at a smile. She brushed her thumb across Kathryn’s forehead, sending a silent plea to her ship as watched her energy dwindle. Please, Voyager. Hurry.

At this point, B’Elanna had given up on keeping track of the hours passed. All she knew was they had been sitting here forever, and there was still no sign of Voyager.

“I’m sure they’ll be here soon. They’re probably just trying not to overreact.”

B’Elanna was alarmed by the lack of response from Kathryn. She’d been chatting to her idly on and off for the last little bit, and the woman had always at least managed a twitch of her fingers. Now though, there was nothing.

“Captain?” She asked, giving the woman a slight jostle with her knee.

No response.

She tried again, pumping the woman a bit harder.

“Captain! I told you not to doze off on me again!”

But B’Elanna knew that wasn’t what this was. Not this time. As she watched the woman’s chest for any sign that she might be breathing, she was alarmed to be greeting by a complete and utter stillness.

“No!” She gasped, sitting up and laying the woman’s head on the ground beside her.

“No, no, NO!”

She started chest come pressions.

“Come on, Captain! Don’t do this to me again!”

Tears streaked her eyes as she pushed the palms of her hands deep into the woman’s chest. She knew she was probably going to break her ribs with pressure like this, but she would take broken ribs over a dead Captain any day.

“Come on, please! Please, you can’t leave me! Not now!”

Two inches deep, one hundred beats per minute.

“We’re in this together, remember?!”

Help will be here soon.

“You promised!”

They have to be here soon

“Please, just hold on!”

Then, the worst thing that could have possibly happened, happened. Faintly, at the very edge of her senses, she heard the sound of scuttling.

B’Elanna’s chest compressions stilled as she listened to confirm what she was hearing.

No! Not now! Please, not now!

Fat tears dripped from her eyes, and down onto Kathryn’s face as she leaned over the dying woman. Desperately, she placed one hand on her cheek, and the other one in her hand. She leaned down until she was nose to nose with Janeway’s slack face. “I’m not leaving you,” she whispered. “You hear me? I’m not leaving you! So don’t you dare leave me!”

No response.

A sob racked her body as she pressed her hand firmly into Kathryn’s face.

“Please!”

No response.

She heard the sound of a hiss behind her.

All the despair in her face fell away at the sound. The tears still poured down her face as she drew her phaser and turned around.

Eight of the Arachnomen faced off against her. Each of their eyes locked on in hunger, madness, and intent to kill.

Looking at the creatures, B’Elanna was overtaken by a blinding, thick blanket of unimaginable fury. This, all of this was their fault. One of their kind had killed her Captain. Her friend and all these creatures cared about was food. They were disgusting, and retched, and the purest form of evil that, other than the Borg, no other species ever came close to.

And they were not going to take her Captain away from her when they were this close to getting home.

“YOU WON’T TOUCH HER!” B’Elanna roared, but the Arachnomen didn’t seem phased by her fury.

With one final hiss, the hoard lunged, and B’Elanna started firing.

In an instant, a cascade of pincers, hands and fangs engulfed B’Elanna and the Captain. The half-klingon fired her phaser like a mad woman, doing everything in her power to keep the creatures’ fangs from biting her, and to keep all of them away from the lifeless form of her Captain underneath her.

Pretty quickly, B’Elanna’s rage subsided just enough for her to realise that she could never right off all these aliens at once. So, thinking fast, she improvised.

The engineer shot her phaser right at the base of one of the stalactites. The large spike came crashing down, impaling one of the Arachnomen, and covering the area in a thick, quickly dissipating layer of debris.

Using the opening, B’Elanna threw Janeway over her shoulder and fled towards the nearest tunnel. Her feet carried her even faster than they had the day before. It didn’t matter anymore that Janeway was dead weight, Torres’s survival instincts were kicked into too high a gear for her to be slowed down.

The aliens ran after her as she clambered up the tunnel, dodging their long, outstretched limbs and shooting blindly behind her as she continued her beeline through the tunnels.

The Arachnomen were gaining rapidly, their brief moment of surprise not nearly enough to keep the Chief Engineer in the lead for long. She pushed her legs to run faster, practically throwing herself down the passageway as it began to twist and turn.

After five minutes of running for her life, B’Elanna’s felt her eyes widened as they gazed upon her next obstacle. The ground veered up in a sudden slope, approximately seven feet tall, and with very little ways to jump up it. Not unless you had spider limbs.

With a pounding heart, the engineer used all of her strength to throw Kathryn up the the top of the wall, before leaping up as high as she could and draping her arm over the ledge.

One of the aliens grabbed a hold of her leg, and began to drag her back down towards the ground. B’Elanna kicked and screamed as the others piled on. She managed to tear her leg free of one, and used the face of another to shove herself further up the ledge.

One of the aliens jumped up towards the ceiling, and made a frantic grab at her shoulder. It missed, however, and its long spider-limbed hand shot past B’Elanna and managed to grab hold instead of the Captain’s arm. It dragged her body backwards, and B’Elanna shrieked in protest as she held the body of her comrad on top of the ledge.

She rammed her arm out, smacking the spider's own limb hard against the corner of the ledge. It shrieked, letting go of the Captain in its pain.

As hard as she was fighting, Torres’ heart lurched as she felt the seemingly endless sea of grasping limbs starting to drag her back down the ledge. She clawed desperately to the tunnel floor, kicking mangled legs back at the spiders, but it was no use. There were too many of them.

Just as she was convinced that there was no way out of this, a voice came through on her comm.

“Voyager to away team, do you read me!”

B’Elanna kicked one of the aliens off her, giving her just enough leeway to reach up and press her badge. “Chakotay!” She shouted, her voice riddled with pure terror as she was pulled further away from Janeway, “I can’t hold them off anymore! You gotta get us out of here!”

“Stand by for transport.”

“Sick bay, Chakotay! Both of us!” B’Elanna ordered

“Acknowledged!”

B’Elanna screamed as she lost her grip on the tunnel ledge. Just as her body was dragged into the commotion of the Arachnoman’s frenzy, her and Janeway’s bodies dematerialized into the transporter beam.

#star trek #star trek voyager #kathryn janeway #b’elanna torres #pissed off b’elanna #protective b’elanna #sick janeway #it’s rlly scary for a moment there #nurturing b’elanna torres #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #no beta we die like admiral janeway #character death #whump #heavy angst #it’s fine tho #it’ll be fine #CPR

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luvth0t · 2 years

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the state of my drafts rn is killing me 😀

#all i do on here is complain #and lie #and write smut #with some angst #mostly complain and lie tho #y’all have to be sick of me

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chisatowo · 1 year

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Did a sekai character sorter and while I hate doing ties I genuinely couldn't decide between Ena Mafuyu and Kanade as my favorites so I ended tying them for first I feel like a disgrace 😔 also Mizuki somehow got second because I have problems (being that I'm a 25ji fan)

#rat rambles #sekai posting #I forgot to take a screenshot sorry besties #but uh. tsukasa was in dead last. Im so sorry bestie #I love him I swear but its my sibling's job to have thoughts abt him so I just have more thoughts abt literally everyone else fjfjdkdbd #I geuinely forgot abt him and was so scared that shiho or toya would get in last but then I saw tsukasa and was like oh. oops fndkrjr #Im sure shiho will grow on me more as I read more stuff but for now they dont have a whole lot of space in my head #amd toya is one of my mental illness burst characters where I have to be in a specific mindset fjfkfnd #sekai is similar to bndori where I do genuinely love everyone tho so dont take this as me disliking tsukasa djdndjrh #in fact Im sure he'll grow on me more over time right now hes just mostly weighed down by his fans for me #<- mafuyu fan who is so fucking sick of seeing tsukasa fans use them for his angst #tbf tho akito got in the top five despite the fact that Im not fond of a lot of akito fans either #Im still pissy abt how high he got hes my poor little meow meow Im sorry #ngl its the yukina influence that did him the most favors flgkfjdjf

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crimescene-crush · 2 years

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three words about "borowski und die angst der weißen männer":

why

men

#this fucking ep bruh #yikes on bikes #men are dope but uhh not those #shit made me sick to my stomach fr #incredible episode tho #tatort #tatort kiel #klaus borowski #mila sahin #ep: borowski und die angst der weißen männer

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criminalamnesia · 2 months

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Simon x Reader whose already work with TF 141 for a pretty long time. And one day, there's a traitor around the base, leaking their information. All of the proof are leading to reader but reader always deny it! And they interrogated reader, and reader always deny it! And he's (with other 141 members, of course, but it mostly him) do their torture methods to get information out of reader. They keep doing it until someday, the real traitor finally captured!

And make the reader traumatized, pls. Like, she would have trust issues, trauma, and others. She wouldn't forgive them, tho.

ooooo the angst. had to sit on this one for a few days before I wrote something, but here goes nothing.

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

when you blink open your eyes, the room is dimly lit. it’s silent save for the sounds of your labored breathing.

you must’ve passed out. one second johnny— a man you’d known for years—was slicing into your skin with a knife. the next, you’re staring into an empty room.

your hands jerk up involuntarily. still bound. the rope holding them to the arms of the chair have rubbed them raw. the skin is bright red and bloody. it makes you grit your teeth.

you look down at your lap, taking inventory of the parts of your body you can see. large gashes break up the fabric of your tac pants. the blood surrounding the deep wounds is dry and crusty.

one of the cuts looks like it’s getting infected. you swear you can see bone.

you’d taken this kind of suffering before. been capture by enemies, held and tortured and pushed to the brink of death. this was different. this was being done by your team. men you’d bled with. cried with. laughed with.

one you’d even slept with. the same one you loved. the one you called yours.

the door to the room swung open, hitting the wall with a metal thud. your head slowly lifts, eyes squinting to see him. by his stature, you know it’s simon.

he doesn’t bother shutting the door behind him. instead, he walks towards you slowly. as he comes closer, can make out his eyes in the sea of dark paint he smears around them. the same paint you’d helped him apply a time or two.

“back for more?” you say, and it’s meant to sound sarcastic, but all it sounds like is pitiful. your voice cracks, and pain seeps into your tone.

the first rule they’d taught you about scenarios like this was to never let the enemy know it’s working. never let them know that they’re hurting you— that they’re slowly wearing down your defenses.

well, you’d just broken that rule, and you hadn’t even meant to.

you didn’t know how long you’d been tied up, subjected to torture by men you had once called your family. all because a fucking liar whispered your name into their ears. all because they fucking believed it.

apparently the years meant nothing to them. to him, least of all, considering he’d done more damage to you than the rest of them.

simon comes to a stop in front of you. his hands are empty by his sides, but that’s not reassuring. there’s a table full of weapons off to the side. he would have his pick of the litter.

“ready to talk yet?” he says, and his voice is gruff. his tone is hollow. he’s speaking to you the same way he’d spoken to countless enemies. it makes you sick.

“fuck you, simon,” you spit out.

the betrayal of john, gaz, and johnny had hurt. but simon’s betrayal? that was enough to almost put you in the ground.

you’d stopped pleading with them the second they tied you to the chair. now, you were angry. furious. rage filled your veins, and if you weren’t beaten to all hell, you’d find a way out of these fucking restraints and strangle the man in front of you to death.

the man you loved. you’d thought you meant something to him, but apparently not— because who tortures someone they love?

“if you talk,” he ignores your outburst. “it’ll be easier. quick.”

“fuck. you.” you enunciate the words, your jaw impossibly tight as you grit your teeth. “im not the fucking rat.”

“all the evidence,” he starts as he disappears from your vision. you know he’s going to pick his weapon of the hour. you force yourself not to shudder.

“points to you.”

“take that bullshit evidence and shove it up your ass, riley,” you seethe, ropes pulling taut as you lean forward in the chair.

he’s back in your line of sight now, brandishing a large knife.

“you’re only making it harder on yourself, love,” he tuts, and then he’s swinging the knife down, right onto one of your fingers.

you scream as the blade cuts right through skin and bone. your teeth dig into your lip, drawing blood as you refuse to give him more of a reaction. it fucking hurts, but you’ll be damned if you let yourself cry.

“feel like talking now?” he asks, watching as half of your left pinky finger falls to the floor.

“or should we take off another?”

you look up at him, hoping he can see the hatred in your eyes as you speak your next words. “you could take the fucking hand off and I’d still have nothing to tell you.”

“let’s see how true that is then, eh?” he replies, and raises the knife again. he’s about to swing, when someone comes running into the room.

“ghost!”

it’s johnny. he’s obviously winded as he stops beside simon, dropping his hands to his knees as he struggles for breath.

“what, mactavish? im busy.”

“they’re—” he gasps. “they’re not— the— rat.” he says between breaths.

the room goes impossibly still. so quiet you swear you could hear the men’s heartbeats (or maybe that pounding in your ears was your own).

“you sure?” simon’s voice is softer as he lowers the knife and turns to johnny. the younger man nods, his eyes trained on you. you can see the regret in them, the sorrow.

“it’s fucking shepard.”

it’s not funny, but at the news, you burst into laughter. the men stare at you in confusion, but you can’t stop.

you’re laughing so hard you’re crying, and they’re just standing there.

“are you alrigh’?” johnny’s asking as he moves towards you. he’s fully recovered his breath now, and he drops to a crouch to be eye level with you.

you don’t answer— you can’t. you keep laughing. distantly, you hear the knife simon was holding clatter to the ground. can just make out the sound of more footsteps out in the hallway, coming towards the room.

you pass out.

when you wake up again, you’re in the infirmary. your eyes open slowly, adjusting to the bright fluorescent lights.

“easy, love,” a voice to your right drawls.

your eyes are fully open now. you look down at yourself, noticing the lack of bindings. noticing the iv taped to your arm, the stitched cuts, the black and blue bruises, the missing fingernails and missing finger.

the person sitting next to you clears his throat. that’s when you look up and meet the eyes of your captain.

your captain. the man who was supposed to lead you, to keep you safe. what a fucking joke. he’d started the damn witch hunt.

“how d’you feel?” he asks, his words soft, like he’s trying not to scare off a timid animal.

you stare at him for a beat. then two. then you’re moving, pulling the iv from your arm and shakily pushing yourself up in the bed. price is telling you to stop, reaching out to push you back down, but you slap at his hands.

“get the fuck off me!” you shout, and that takes him aback. he stops, frozen, as he watches you shift in the bed. you throw your legs over the side of it and prepare yourself to stand.

“you really shouldn’t—” he begins after he’s regained his senses, but you pay him no mind. you place your feet on the ground and start to stand. your legs wobble, almost give out, but you’re able to stand. barely.

“shut up,” you growl, stumbling forward and towards the exit. he’s moving to cut you off, and you slide him a gaze that’s sharper than a knife. “and leave me the fuck alone.”

he halts again. he seems almost scared of you— but that can’t be right. even on your best days, he would still beat you in hand-to-hand combat.

he’s not scared of your threats or your frail body. he’s scared of what he’s done to you.

just then, johnny and gaz come through the infirmary doors.

“cap, y’alright? we heard yellin’—” johnny begins, but his mouth snaps shut at the sight of you out of bed.

you’re heaving from your spot next to the bed. your legs are shaking violently, threatening to give out any second. you feel nauseous and numb.

“let’s get you back into bed,” gaz says, and he starts towards you, but you stop him as your gaze snaps to his.

“don’t come any fucking closer. any of you.”

“bonnie,” johnny murmurs. he sounds miserable, but you don’t care. don’t give a fuck about how any of them feel.

“don’t. im leaving,” you grunt out, moving a foot forward slowly. you’d be damned if you fell in front of them.

“you can’t, love. you’re in no shape to be walking.” john says, and you snarl.

“and whose fault is that?”

the men stay silent as they watch you slowly shuffle towards the foot of the bed. you’re bracing yourself to walk on your own when simon walks in.

“get back in bed,” his tone is blunt. you ignore him.

you remove your hand from the bed, move to take a step forward without support, and you begin to crumple to the floor.

simon moves forward, quick as a cat, and catches you. he lifts you into his arms bridal style, and you’re screaming hysterically. your limbs are flailing the best they can in such a battered state. you’re in fight-or-flight mode, your body betraying your desire to put up a steely front.

your palms slap against simon’s upper body and his masked face. he gives no reaction. he doesn’t say anything. the others are watching the exchange silently. the room is buzzing with tension.

“get off me!” you screech, landing a slap to simon’s cheek. “let me— let me go! let me go!” you’re gasping for breath, tears streaming down your cheeks. you’re panicking. your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest.

“put me down! get— get— off me! stop—” you sob.

the doctor rushes into the room then, yelling at the men for allowing you out of bed. you can’t make out what she’s saying over the rush of blood in your ears. you feel light-headed. you can’t breathe.

“put them down, now!” the doctor yells at simon. “they’re having a panic attack— I thought I told you four to stay away from them? they’re too vulnerable right now—” the doctor is chastising them as simon places you back in the bed.

spots are dancing in your vision. you don’t even feel it when the doctor sticks another needle into your arm. the words being exchanged above your head are muffled. it’s like you’re underwater.

john’s face comes into view, then johnny’s, then gaz’s. as your eyes start to close, you notice the only face you don’t see again is simon’s.

when you wake up again, it’s been two weeks.

the doctor had put you into a medically induced coma to allow your more serious wounds time to heal, without risking another episode. unbeknownst to you, the members of your team had stayed by your bedside almost the entire time— minus simon. he hadn’t come within ten feet of the infirmary since the day of your panic attack.

there’s fresh flowers on the bedside table. a steady beeping of the heart monitor. a fuzzy feeling in your head.

it feels like a dream, all of it does. none of it feels real as you settle into your body again. but then the hurt starts, and you remember the truth.

your family betrayed you. your lover betrayed you. they locked you up and tortured you. they didn’t believe you.

when the doctor came to your side to check your iv, she smiled.

“how’re you feeling?”

you look up at her, and it takes a moment for you to speak.

“don’t,” you begin. your mouth feels like it’s full of cotton. “don’t let them…in here. don’t…wanna see them.”

the doctor nods in understanding, and she doesn’t say anything else to you. she turns and walks out of the room.

the door clicks shut behind her. she lets out a sigh before turning around to face the three men.

“they don’t want to see you.” she tells them, and their expressions drop. they don’t protest, and like wounded puppies, they walk off.

no one else comes to check on you for a few hours.

you’re in and out of consciousness— can’t tell what’s real and what’s a dream. flashes of your torture come back to you. flashes of a smile. of a scarred face. of hands on your hips and—

you crack your eyes open, and the room is dark. the only light is the blinking of some of the machines. it illuminates the room enough to allow you to see a large, dark figure slip from the room. the door clicks shut so quietly it’s almost imperceptible.

that’s when you notice fresh flowers on the bedside table.

your eyes start to droop once more, and you chalk up whatever you just saw to a dream, while simon exhales heavily on the other side of the infirmary door.

————————————————

authors note:

I hope this alright! it’s one in the morning (and I’m half asleep writing this) so I apologize for the errors that are most likely present, and the sense this most likely lacks. I feel like I could write a whole book about this idea, but im cutting myself off to sleep lol.

thank you for the ask, I hope I did your idea justice. 🫶

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redr0sewrites · 1 month

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Sick!Hazbin Hotel x Reader Hcs

i love reverse comfort sm. im also currently being brutally murdered by allergies but i prefer comforting others so here we are

🥀 Cw: fluff, crack, teensy bit of angst with comfort

🥀 Pairing(s): Lucifer x reader, Alastor x reader, Vox x reader, Adam x reader

Lucifer:

sick? him? please, the king of hell doesn't get sick!

thats what he claims anyways

lucifer brushes nearly everything off as just plain allergies, he could literally have a 103 fever and be shaking on the floor and would still be pouting and saying he's fine

the thing about him tho is that he's easy to take care of- after a little coaxing lucifer just sighs and nods glumly before pretty much submitting himself to your care

once he's admitted hes sick tho, he wants you around him 24/7

lucifer wants cuddles, hugs, kisses, he just gets so clingy when he's feeling under the weather

THIS MAN LITERALLY BURNS UP WHEN HE'S SICK ITS ALWAYS THE LITTLE ONES WITH THE HIGHEST RAGING FEVERS THAT LAST FOR DAYS like he'll be sweating and shivering and crying he gets hit HARD when he's sick and it happens so suddenly too- like one day he's fine and then the next he looks like he's one small wind away from collapsing

he lowkey feels bad about asking for things when he's sick so he'll say something offhand like "yk im in the mood for soup" and hopes you get the message

ABSOLUTELY THE TYPE TO GET FEVER DREAMS AND START RAMBLING WHEN HES SICK

like he'll wake up from a nap and still be half asleep and he just starts genuinely rambling about literally the most obscure things

lucifer definitely gets nightmares even when he isn't sick, but when hes feeling like shit and is so delirious he can't tell reality from fiction? be prepared for him to wake up crying and shaking, he just gets so so scared :(

lucifer feels bad about you taking care of him and wants to help, but will lowkey end up pushing himself too hard. PLEASE reassure him and tell him it's alright he'll literally melt

once its all over, lucifer will genuinely trust you more after you saw him in such a vulnerable state and is much more likely to come to you instead of hiding how he's feeling in the future

Alastor:

alastor? weak? lmao no

he would literally rather die than admit he's sick like he would literally just keep pushing on

alastor is one of those people that has an iron immune system like he VERY rarely gets sick but when he does its like torture

to even be alastor's partner you'd have to know him for a long time and you'd probably be able to read him pretty well (at least compared to other people), yet even you sometimes miss his sickness in the earlier stages

alastors biggest tell tale sign of being sick? exhaustion. he very rarely sleeps on the regular, but when he's sick that all catches up to him

he also gets more irritable and a little less composed, he'd be more prone to getting angry and would lash out if anyone asked if he was ok

alastors ears would also be turned back slightly, like most animals do when they're being aggressive, but its pretty much only obvious to people who know him closely

alastor never wants to be vulnerable or weak but you notice that his eyelids keep drifting of their own accord, and how irritable he's been, and it clicks to you that he's obviously not feeling well

approach him about it in private, while alastor does trust you he still doesn't want others to knowm

no matter how much you try he will not lay down, take medicine, or do anything (at least at first)

alastor genuinely thinks that he can just push through on his own and lowkey thinks you're worrying too much

however after two weeks of pure suffering and exhaustion, combined with no sleep and your irritation at his lack of will to take care of himself, alastor finally breaks

he'd prob come to your room at like 4 in the morning and just curl up on the edge of the bed, shivering a little but staying quiet

you wake up to him fast asleep, his ears twitching every once and a while as he rests peacefully near you

get a cool towel and lay it on his forehead to break the fever, and he'll just keep sleeping

he probably wouldn't wake up for at least a few hours, months of lost sleep are catching up to him at this point, giving you the opportunity to make him some soup and medicine

alastor will stir a little when you get out of bed but wont wake up, but once he does wake up he wants you to come back

when he's sick he wants you to be nearby, alastor isn't the touchiest person and being sick makes him feel gross, so he wouldn't want to be touched but would want you arround just to know you're there

this is probably the first step in him being more open to vulnerability around you, and while it may have been a bit of an irritating process to get him back to his usual healthy status, it's definitely worth it as he begins to trust you more

Vox:

lowkey a man child (affectionate)

vox is one of those guys who will take care of himself when he's sick, but he'll complain about it every step of the way

i think he's pretty responsible when he's sick, he'll take the day off and relax but won't do much other than that

he likes when you pamper him though, and a part of him lowkey enjoys being sick because he just gets to have your full attention all of the time (as if he doesn't already💀)

vox would be irritated about showing weakness and not being in control, but he wouldn't be irritated at you

if an employee was being too nosy about his wellbeing? yea he's pissed but if you're the one taking care of him, he'll just sigh and let you do what you want

VOX IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHOS LITERALLY ALWAYS COLD AND ITS AMPLIFIED WHEN HES SICK

he becomes like a literal ice cube he's SHIVERING and everything

vox has the cutest sneezes too, he glitches out and denies how cute his sneezes are but they really are adorable

vox takes like 2 baths per day when he's sick he hates feeling unclean, and def wants you to join him in the bath (just to relax, get your mind out of the gutter)

vox would be a little pissed about missing work, i think he's a bit of a workaholic and might try to work in bed or sneak some paperwork behind your back

it doesn't work though because he just ends up passing out anyway

vox is big on sleeping when he's sick he's definitely the type to just sleep it off and thats that

like he CRASHES in bed and just does not get up for hours

he sleeps like the dead too, his screen is blank and he barely moves in his sleep

like lucifer, he has fever dreams but they lean more on the weird side rather than the sad side

its funny but instead of talking more when sick, vox actually talks much less. he starts getting super quiet and a lot more needy for your attention

vox is more than happy to return to work and be back on his feet, but will send you a little thank you gift and pamper you in return for taking care of him

Adam:

manchild x2 (also affectionate)

adam DREADS getting sick like he genuinely hates it so much, he sees it as one of his own flaws and it makes him lowkey disgusted at himself

he whines like a baby over a common cold, its almost sad how the slightest sickness will make him act like he's on his death bed

adam whines and complains whenever you aren't around him, he wants cuddles and kisses and is 10x more clingy when he's sick

he has little to no appetite when he's actually sick but gets a huge appetite right after

like you'll have to force him to eat at least a piece of toast per day while he's actually feverish but once he's in recovery he's literally FAMISHED and will ask for so much food

he barely eats or drinks while hes sick it just feels icky to him

i also think he's the type to not want to move like he just collapses on his bed and barely moves an inch (unless you force him)

adam exaggerates when he's barely sick and then underplays it when he's genuinely really sick its lowkey so confusing

like he could have pneuomonia and be half dead and say he's fine but he could have the most common cold and complain foreverrr

he doesn't think you're genuine when you say you want to help him and take care of him, he thinks its just a joke since nobody has ever really taken care of him before

like sure he's been told what to do and bossed around and treated him like a foolish child, but no one has ever sat with him while he's sick and held his hand yk?

while he can be irritable and annoying while he's sick, he apologizes afterwards

its one of the few times he ever apologizes but he genuinely feels bad about lashing out

adam isn't used to being below someone when it comes to status or health and relaxing and letting someone else take care of him is kind of foreign for him, but you both work it out over time

while he isn't the easiest to take care of, he genuinely appreciates that you want to help him and wants to return the favor someday

I WILL MAKE A PT 2 OF THIS WITH MORE FEM CHARACTERS OR WITH HELLUVA BOSS CHARACTERS BUT I DIDNT WANT TO CROWD UP THIS POST TOO MUCH!!!!! ALSO SORRY FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES I WROTE THIS WHILE HALF ASLEEP ♥️ HOPE YALL ENJOYED THIS TEEHEE

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frmisnow · 2 months

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✧˖ ?!— THE ASSHOLE THAT MIGHT MAKE YOU FORGIVE & FORGET. - (NSFW.)

— ‧₊˚ — 🍸: "wanna make you hate being touched by anybody else but me, i'll be so selfish with you ??"

summary. despite your best efforts at avoiding your much-hated hookup boxer, he somehow finds a way to your apartment claiming he's here for your own good benefit, being a total ass- does he even have the ability to change? well, he's determinded to make you forgive & forget... in his own unique ways!

notes. haven't written full blown smut in quite a while aaahhhh also my longest fic up to date??? - this is part two of TWO WHORES IN A ROOM, THEY MIGHT KISS but can be read on it's own.

warnings/includes. (MDNI!!) non idol! jungkook x f! reader, they still kinda hate eachother sry (tiny bit of character development in the middle tho), elements of angst, making out, he's a bit of a dick :/, reader is kind of a therapist (pls don't go around in real life trying to fix ppl!!), tit/nipple play, riding, kook sub tendency towards the end, unprotected sex (she's on the pill tho), not proofread :/

you starred blankly at the text bubble he sent you a minute ago, hell- it was 2 am- you blinked repeatedly, reading it once more:

unknown number (jeon ) : i'm outside your apartment

you've done your absolute best avoiding him at all costs, you couldn't no- you shouldn't at all, never ever form a connection with him and though you'd usually be okay with having a little fling, you didn't want to be associated with him nor did you want to see his face. it was a hate fuck, nothing more, nothing less - but he always knew just how to ruin your plans.

you looked outside the window, actually sighting a figure, a motorcycle close to them as the person lifted it's head shortly from their phone, you quickly typed in a response.

y/n ( reader ) : how do you know my number, how do you know my adress and what makes you think i'll open the door unknown number (jeon ) : i'm cold

the simplicity of the incoming answer, made you roll your eyes, opening the window instantly after reading yelling out to the person: "i'll call the police for stalking"

he instantly yells back, "you don't actually have any intentions of calling the police. you want to see me" with every word stepping a bit closer to your apartment, now practically being next to your door.

"ha," you let out till full blown starting to laugh, "i wanna see you?" the smile from the laugh still plastered of your face, "you really think so?"

"oh i'm sure of it, what else is there to do on a saturday night? i just know you've been thinking bout my big dick all day, i know it makes you sick- but y'know what? i'm here to fix it for you" he looks up to you while delivering his dialogue in a sarcastic tone like he's the savior of the world, his smirk coming back once more.

you skipped down the stairs, opening the door just a few centimeters, enough to see your face, not enough to completly look into your apartment, answering him back now face to face, giving him a rather unimpressed look: "right, you showed up but somehow u're still blabbering 'bout me wanting you here, but whatever go on- tell me i'm the needy cockslut who wants you right now"

his hands reach out to presumably touch your tits as you make the split of the open door a little smaller so his hands won't fit through while he makes a tiny sound of disapproval in the mean time almost like a 'tsk tsk' until he starts talking again:

"you're standing here in your pjs at 2am opening up your door for no other then me and that says just enough"

you stand there silent for just a few seconds till bouncing back on his answer, "don't get it twisted, i wanted to see what you have to say for yourself-"

his smug little smirk on his face grows bigger as you speak, his words dripping with sarcasm as if you're playing right into his hands "oh so you are interested in what i have to say?"

"very much so but so far you've been talking a lot of shit which doesn't necessarly surprise me either"

jungkooks grin still remains maybe even gets bigger, his voice dripping of sarcasm, "oh c'mon you love anything that has a dick for you to suck on, you're not big on words"

you open the door a bit more further, sighing like you're tired: "well quite frankly i don't feel like having your dick in my mouth"

he runs his hands through his hair, few seconds of silence passing when he finally responds now a little more serious: "are you really gonna act like you didn't enjoy the last time we're together?"

you gulp, for the first time avoiding eye contact: "well not everything revolves around sex"

"ah well isn't that cute, trying to play innocent?" his smile suddenly disappears, his brow furrowing as he gives you a serious look, "look at me. right on the eyes"

you look him in the eyes again, voice getting just a bit louder: "you don't get it, you see any pussy and jump straight onto it then leave which would be fine- but i don't want us to be fuck buddies, i don't want us being awkward at work, i don't want to form an attraction beyond sex to you in any way and i won't even risk it- and you? you don't even think about anything, you just think with your dick"

his eyebrow raises as he lets out a chuckle and rolls his eyes, "yeah, yeah i guess i am quite a shitty guy for not wanting anything more than just to dick you down for all eternity"

you rest your head on the wall next to the door in frustration, making a sound close to a sigh again: "you'll leave me in a week, i'll get attached, you'll make fun of me- i don't want that" surprisingly honest and serious.

he stares at you for few seconds longer, you're not making eye contact anymore, still pressed on the wall your head facing downwards. he sighs and his eyes close as he takes a deep breath as if preparing himself for what he's about to say: "you really think that little of me huh?"

you respond calmly though still avoiding his eyes, admitting in all honesty: "you've given me no reason to think more of you"

and for the first time since you've ever seen him, you see jungkook generally hurt, his eyes not settling as he begins to slowly nod like he understood, taking a step back from the door, "i'll leave you alone"

you watch him take a few steps- but you just can't do this. he was right, for the first time in everything he has said so far- he was right: you wanted him. you didn't know if you wanted him beyond sex but you weren't gonna figure this out right now either so you made the spontanous gut decision, you swiftly walked behind him- grabbing his arm, stopping him.

"you can call me a dumb whore- but i've changed my decision, i don't want you to leave"

you can almost see his brain working your words out one by one till he returns to good old self, voice thick of sarcasm, a sly grin making it's way onto his face once more "oh and why's that?"

"can you shut up?"

it's a messy kiss. desperate, longing, needing - telling. his hands not settling, moving all across your body, squeezing and kneading wherever they can in a matter of time you both stumble back into your apartment, lips not breaking apart not even once even as he closes the front door with his foot, deepening the kiss mean while.

you get pushed back onto the couch, your lips still locked together as his hands move under your clothes, taking off each item of your clothing at lightning speed, like he's trying to tear them all apart.

you break away in the mean time to breathe as you basically pant, taking the short time to look down onto yourself, practically naked then look at him who still had way to many clothes on for your liking, "not fair" your words barerly good said as he basically swallowed them by kissing you once more.

he shifts his position again, wrapping his arms around your bare waist, pulling you onto his lap, groaning into the kiss, trying his best to combine keeping you in place with one hand and cupping your face rather violently with the other.

"please," you pull his pants just a bit to get your point across, "not fair" repeating what you already said like a broken toy in addition you pouted which y'know gets u sympathy points usually, you wanted to feel him- it was only fair.

"oh look who's upset?" a grin splarred over his face, tone mocking maybe even belittling, "you'll have to earn it" running his fingers through one of your hair strands till his gaze returns to your eyes.

"i thought we were over this," you whined till throwing your head back in frustration, "please, i was so nice"

"nice? you called me a shitty guy, thought little of me and basically called me a womanizer among other things." he puts both of his hands on your knees and spreads your legs apart more so you sit wider on him, "and you really think that 'pretty pretty please' is gonna be enough?"

no matter how good he was of a fucker, you weren't just gonna throw away your morals for him completly so you bluntly responded: "the fact that i'm even on your lap right now after some of the shit you said is pretty damn nice of me"

"fair point" he admits and his hands wander up your body once more, tracing each and every curve of your body, holding you down tightly to stop you from moving "you're not a nice girl. you know what you are?"

you responded instantly before he could say anything, putting a finger on his mouth to pervent more bullshit coming from that pretty mouth of his: "don't call me a whore, i won't tolerate slut shaming anymore when you're just as much of one as me, if not more"

he squeezed your thighs during your little speach, acting like a brat who doesn't give two shits about whatever you're saying, "you know i love it when you try to play this 'respect me' act, acting like you really are not some little whore that just wants to get pounded into a matress till she can't take it anymore"

you rolled your eyes immediately, taking in a deep breath: "everytime i have the feeling like i'm getting somewhere with you, i'm talking you developing your brain from teenage boy age 13 to 14, you piss me of even more- god i fucking hate you"

he leans forward, his body even closer to yours, a cruel smile crossing his face, "oh i love the way you get angry" his hot breath hitting your face and his eyes locked into yours, "it makes you look so helpless"

you get closer to his face, now inches apart to make sure the next few sentences really get to him: "i just want you to know that whatever you'll think after this whole thing, i want you to know that you didn't magically pull me in, i'm not helpless neither are you the only person with good dick in this shitplace, you're an avaible option that can be replaced at any given moment, you are a whore that goes around and gets used, no matter how much you hate that fact or not, it's the damn truth, so start being a fucking man and accept it, suck it up" you say something he'd say to you, a taste of his own medicine if you will.

you see it on his face that you've managed to finally get to him, like he's actually taken aback by something for once. your words seemed to cut him deeply and he just stares at you, his breath shaky and his eyes big, wide doed like you've never seen before.

"okay," you take his hands away from your thighs locking them with yours, face still close to his, holding eye contact, "it's okay, it's okay to have sex, it's okay to want to live a free live but you have to communicate that and stop being a prick, stop using girls, stop blowing your ego up and then maybe we could have something" you whisper it as calmly as she can, squeezing his hands every once in a while like you actually want to help him.

he looked onto the both hands locked together till squeezing your hand back, his voice trembling as he tries to remain calm when speaking, "why are you still being so nice to me?"

"you know you do this thing where i look at you and you say something so good, so rational and it happens every once in a while where i think to myself- this is why i can't leave our whole thing alone cause somewhere just somewhere there still is that one valueable dude, it's just-" you sigh, till burrying your head on his shoulder in frustration, "i'm so stupid, i feel like i'll always come back to you, i don't know if that's good"

he almost automatically wraps his arms around your figure and now is the time where you actually do feel helpless in his arms, god- you were so stupid.

he buries his face in your hair, breathing you in, he didn't want to feel this vulnerable around you- it almost hurt to let his emotions show "oh c'mon- don't say that, please" his voice is shaky and his words carry a clear feeling of hurt.

"i always used to say that i don't believe that people can change, it's funny how you try to make excuses and loopholes for your morals when you actually experience something on your own," you straighten up your posture, removing your head from his shoulder, avoiding his eyes while trying to gather your thoughts.

his voice still carries the same shaky emotion as he speaks "why are you avoiding eye contact?" he burries his head against your chest, rubbing against it like trying to make you look at him, softly beginning to lick the skin.

the more he nibbles and licks on your skin, the more little mumbles against the skin are hearable, "i'll make you forgive me" or "i'll make you forget" - it's like a trance.

his tongue getting to your tits, "look at me, please" he pleads like not having your attention on him even for just a few seconds is a crime sentence - at the same time wrapping his lips around one of your hardened nipples, sucking with just as much passion.

he leaves thick traces of saliva on both ones, an occasional muffeled moan slipping out, "could do this forever, i could die happy with one of- mmh" giving both of them his full diverted attention like he had to make sure the other one doesn't feel left out.

when his head comes up from your chest, his eyes are half-lidded, hair is all over the place, a little bit of saliva in the corner of his mouth yet he instantly cups your face kissing you again and again.

everytime he breaks away just shortly to breathe he whispers something into the air then immediately kisses you, swallowing the words like they were dangerous to fly around unanswered.

"wanna do this forever, have you on my tongue over and over again till my tongue goes numb, till i can't taste or feel anymore"

"wanna have you in every position you can think of, wanna fuck you so much your body only remembers me, my shape, my dick- everything, only me"

"wanna make you hate being touched by anybody else but me, i'll be so selfish with you"

dangerous words.

dangerous words that feel a bit to real.

it's so evident he has long lost any control over himself, those eyes still so doed like he's begging you to give in, fully drop your boundaries, to give into his fantasies. eyes locking with yours to speak up just once more like he's admitting something, voice more quiet:

"fuck it, i'm already way to selfish with you"

your hands find the zipper of his pants right before opening, pausing to say something yourself, "i'm selfish too, i choose what i want in the moment instead of what would be better for me in the longterm" you pressed your lips onto his almost to shut down your own thoughts, the important ones, the conscious ones that were barerly left till breaking off again, "i don't care, not right now"

you can already feel his hard cock rub against your panties through the jeans material, "i'm so hard it hurts" he looked at you so pleadingly like you were the doctor with the medicine to safe his life, like this was a do or die situation, a tiny cheeky pout on his face, "can you fix me?"

you didn't know if he was talking about himself as a whole or his cock but regardless you took his hands in order for him to stand up so it would be easier to remove his pants and boxers doing it all in one swift motion.

making him sit down onto the coach once again, he whined at the feeling of cold air on his bare skin and you not immediately sitting down onto him, you strip down your pretty ruined panties, his eye not knowing where to look as he played with his lip ring, tilting his head like he's tryna get a better view.

his hands reach out practically on their own, yearning to get his hands onto anything yours, "sit down, ride me" jungkooks tone shaky yet he tried his best to hide that (not rly working) as he added a tiny quiet "please" at the end of it, barerly audible to the average ear.

you couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that he was behaving like a child (nothing unusual) but the laugh got cut of by a moan as your pussy practically swallowed his length, his hands instantly quite harshly going to your hips, leading you- maybe even guiding.

"fuck yea-" his voice so awfully strained as his both of your hips moved in sync, his fingernails digging into your soft skin, making you groan.

"missed this pussy so much," he moaned out, throwing his head back onto the coach headboard till he weakly added: "so obssesed with you, i've been wanting this tight- mmh, fuck- ever since-"

he couldn't finish his sentence neither did he look like he could form any coherient thoughts, face scrunched up in pleasure, a bit of sweat on his forehead- and you probably didn't look any better yourself.

your walls clenched around him out of sheer response, you were so wrong- this was such bad decision, it would be so hard to let him go after this, it would-

"gonna cum, fuck- i can't"

his pressed out words cut through your thoughts like a sharp knife, the skin slapping noises suddenly feeling louder then they had been before, your own pussy clenching around him once again.

"can't hold it back, i don-"

he was going to leave marks on your hips for sure, you bet he didn't even realize how hard he had been squeezing the poor skin, occasionally moving to your ass.

you moaned yourself, feeling your own orgasm approaching, jungkooks eyes closed, lips parting slightly like he's on the top stage of ecstasy somewhere over the rainbow as you could feel your own walls getting coated with cum.

your body instantly went weak after, lightly collpasing onto his chest as though he seemed unusually tired he wrapped his arms around your back, stroking the skin and bone structure slowly.

it felt so comforting even your eyes closed, you felt so tired- what time was it again?

"fuck- i forgot the condom" his fingers paused, the shook in his voice audible.

"i'm on the pill, we're good" you closed your eyes again, now the clear goal was to fall asleep.

yet y'know how it was with your plans and jungkook- he cut through them as he lied still for a few minutes till whispering, "i don't hate you by the way" his fingers now again continuing the gentle act on your back even slower then before like a quit lullaby, "not even one bit"

"i know"

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