#sidenote the way lip looks at ian while he's talking at the service makes me askdfhajsk dSKLJJKASDJ

[gardenerian]

I just rewatched 7x12, and can we talk about fandom thinking only Ian cares Monica dies—because the other kids care, too! They each have a complicated relationship with her, but they're all feeling something at her wake when they speak. We only hear Fi's eulogy, but it's about as complimentary as it could be, given the circumstances. Then they all dance at her funeral afterparty (a concept Monica would have loved). If Ian was the only one who cared, the other kids wouldn't have shown up, wouldn't have spoken, wouldn't have called Grandpa Bill, wouldn't had gone to the hospital to hear her fate. I didn't remember the ep well, so my interpretation was solely through fics and Tumblr, but rewatching has reminded me it's worth going back to the source (it's also the last of the consistently good seasons, so worth rewatching for that alone).

7x12?? in my inbox??? i could kiss you.

i think the difference is how they care. that's what sets ian apart, and he knows it. he spent more time with her. he knows her in a way they don't - it's not necessarily a good way, but it bonds them in a way the other siblings don't really feel. plus, he's connected with her in a way they can't understand.

you're right, of course they care. but in a huge way, the episode is about how her death touches them. how their traumas collide, how their memories resurface, how it brings them all together. the scene where they dance (she would have loved that, you're right), the montage at the end - it's about them, how they grew up, and how they're gonna go forward. that's totally understandable, and it completely makes sense given the kind of mother monica was to them.

to me, it really feels like most of their actions re: the funeral planning, etc. comes from their sense of duty. this is our family, this is what we do. they give her that day, not due to any real desire to celebrate her, but because it feels like the right thing to do. they resent her, but she gave them life. she gave them each other. they give themselves space to remember and feel that. i've said it before, but that shot of carl at the funeral is one of my favorite shots of the whole series. she hurt them, and they're feeling it together. you're right, it's complicated. it's not pure hatred they have for her, but her death is a chance for them to come together and grieve something so much bigger than her.

but ian.... ian mourns her. it goes deeper than that, of course. but ian holds onto her in a way the others don't. by season 8, they've put on a stiff upper lip and moved on. fiona is surprised to hear that ian is still struggling with it. they'd mourned what she was to them and what she could have been a long time ago, way before she died. but ian doesn't want to forget her. monica scares him, and he resents her, but he still holds onto her. i think of that moment in 7x09, where he's so hesitant to see her, but he still reaches out to touch her. plus - he missed those last days with her. his last moments with her were so angry, i'm sure he regrets that. they do all care in their ways, but ian keeps caring. and it leaves him feeling very lost.

#like the way he touches her things in the storage unit it's about HER #THIS IS WHY S8 HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR IAN #IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO GREAT #ASDFJHASLJKDH FUCKKK #(heads up i drank real coffee for the first time in like a year today so i am AMPED UP to talk about all the stuff in my inbox SORRY) #long post #death tw #grief tw #7x12 #mel answers #sidenote the way lip looks at ian while he's talking at the service makes me askdfhajsk dSKLJJKASDJ #and carl never saw her at all HELP