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90sdreamdoll · 2 days ago
All the batkids have stood in a police station at least three times a month during their duration of being batman's sidekick , because supervillains keep calling cps on batman out of spite
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incorrectbatfam · 2 hours ago
Damian: I enjoy pizza very much. Except for the cheese part. And the sauce part. And the crust part.
Duke: What part do you like?
Damian: The box. And the little plastic table thing in the middle. It makes me feel like a giant.
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unbelievable-facts · a day ago
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jasontoddsguns · a day ago
Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, and Tim Drake for the head canons!
Bruce Wayne - Buys off brand cereal bc ‘it doesn’t taste any different.’ (Bruh, you’re a billionaire just buy the name-brand)
Stephanie Brown - constantly has glitter/dirt beneath her nails.
Duke Thomas- Really likes Adam Sandler movies.
Tim Drake - Forgets to clip his nails and constantly scratches people on accident.
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evilly-laughing · 2 days ago
yknow those cokes that have names on them or even friendly terms? like ‘share a coke with a buddy’? what if in dc some had the vigilante/superhero names? what if it was a funny running gag? what if in the justice league flash would take green lanterns drink cause ‘hey it says my name on it i dont make the rules’? what if theres a photo of batman looking angrily at his superman coke that ruins the internet? AND what if the first time spoiler sees one with her code name she puts it on her shelf because getting recognized is the best feeling sometimes? what if red robin puts another bottle next to it that says ‘robin’? what if barbara and cass place the batgirl one besides that? what if red hood gives signal the first one with his name on it? what if theres no red hood one because hes not a hero? what if signal makes a red hood one so the both of them can sit together to enjoy this? what if red hood doesnt even like coke? what if they all drink together anyway? what if this was just a reason to get in touch?
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booksquish · 2 months ago
Do you think the people of Gotham use like fear gas to their advantage, like "you failed your drug test" "oh but I've 'never done drugs' but I was exposed to a new batch of fear gas last week maybe that did something" and you can't refute that because they don't know what's in that shit, it could have cause a false positive.
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bluestnightwing · 22 days ago
Dick Grayson
“My mom used to call me Robin 'cause I was always bobbin' along.”
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Jason Todd
“I'm Robin and being Robin gives me magic!”
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Tim Drake
“Batman has to have a Robin.”
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Stephanie Brown
“From now on, you can call me Robin.”
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Damian Wayne
“Being Robin is the best thing I've ever done...”
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Duke Thomas
“...And we are Robin.”
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Robin: a bird out of Hell.
[ Batgirls edit ]
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incorrectbatfam · 5 days ago
Duke: I am a god.
Damian: You yelled "shut up" at a thunderstorm and it happened to dissipate. It was purely coincidence. You have no power.
Cassandra: Shut it. He's a god.
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steph-the-4th-robin · 12 days ago
Lets talk about the best parts Batman Wayne Family Adventures
Which is alot
Lets start with Duke being considered part of the main Batfamily and hes just starting out at being a vigilante and being mentored by Bruce
Cassandra being part of the batfam because she is Bruces kid
Not white washing Damian or Duke
Jason's hair having the white strip in it
Stephanie being considered Bruces kid too
Writing for the audience. They know how the internet sees the batfam and they catered to that specificly
Tired Dad Bruce
Alfred being the best of them
The art style
Jason's hair having the white strip in it
Catching the spirit and chaos of the batfam
Not completely comic accurate but close to how the characters interact with each other and the world around them
Fighting over a cookie
Jason tackling Damian for the cookie
Playful Dad Bruce
Duke beibg excited about the dinosaur eating people and then being disappointed that it didnt really people people
Bruce having a security system in the yard/garden
Jason's hair having the white strip in it
The family portrait with Bruce and his 5 canonical kids, Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass, and Damian. And Damian saying it needs to be updated for Barbara, Steph, Luke, and Kate
Bruce being banned from cooking
Bruce and Damian welcoming Duke to the family
Damians tour
Jason's hair having the white strip in it
Alfred makes baked goods when no one gets hurt on patrol
Bruce's "World's Okayest Father" mug
Damian wanting Babs to override the Batmobile because Bruce told him he couldnt drive it
Steph and Tim at the wrong bank
Babs beating the shit out a man
Have i mentioned Jason's hair having the white strip in it
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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 3 months ago
Criminals react to Batkids
Loyal Henchman: Oh no, not this guy.
New Guy: What? Why? It’s not like it’s the Bat.
Loyal Henchman: Yes but the PUNS.
New Guy:
Loyal Henchman: Honestly I think I’d rather go to Blackgate again.
New Guy:
Nightwing: Okay, first of all? Rude.
New Guy:
New Guy:
New Guy: what the hell
*a few minutes/eternity of puns later*
New Guy: Okay yeah I get it now.
Nightwing: *slapping the handcuffs on* See? Puns ARE effective combat measures. Batman never believes me.
Red Hood: What the hell, man?
Thug: Sorry, boss.
Red Hood: Not your boss, Jeff.
Thug named Jeff: You say that now, but Dan’s working on a PowerPoint that I think you’ll find very interesting…
Red Hood:
Thug named Jeff:
Red Hood: Just put the nice lady’s purse back.
Thug named Jeff: Right, sorry, boss.
Red Hood: Not your… oh, forget it.
Red Hood: [grumbling] …KNOW I……better than……freaking PowerPoints……nerd bird……corrupting respectable minions…
Thug named Jeff: So this means you’re coming to pizza night, right?
Black Bat: *stares*
Criminal: ohmygoshimgoingtodie
Black Bat:
Criminal: *sweating*
Black Bat:
Criminal: *on the verge of a nervous breakdown*
Black Bat: Leave.
Criminal: Yes sir, Miss Batman, ma’am.
D-list Villain: [horrified gasp] YOU!
Spoiler: Aw, you remember me.
Spoiler: You call THAT an outfit? Please.
D-lister: Hey, now just you wait one second. This is a…
Spoiler: *knocks out distracted villain wannabe*
Very Evil Minion: I’ll just be on my way then. Have a nice night, Mr. Red Robin, sir.
Red Robin: what
VEM: Oh, we’re not allowed to fight you anymore. Boss’s orders.
Red Robin: Huh. Tell Luthor I said hi, and hey, if you ever want to make a career change, you know, to something legal, you can always try Wayne Enterprises. They have a good ex-criminal work rehab program.
VEM: I think this is why we’re not allowed to fight you anymore…
Robin: *unsheathes weapon*
Criminal No. 1: oh hell no
Criminal No. 2: Just once can’t we get a non-feral bat?
Criminal No. 1: ‘Come out East,’ they said.
Criminal No. 2: Did it have to be freakin swords?
Criminal No. 1: ‘Plenty of opportunities,’ they said.
Criminal No. 2: I’m going to get rabies or tetanus or something.
Criminal No. 1: Well SCREW THIS. I’m going back to the guy with arrows.
Criminal No. 2: Where do they even FIND these kids?
Signal: ‘Sup.
Bank Robbers:
Bank Robbers:
Bank Robbers:
Bank Robber No. 4: I thought you were all vampires.
Bank Robber No. 2: Yeah, it’s like two in the afternoon. How’d you even get here?
Signal: That’s kind of my thing.
Bank Robber No. 5: I hate this place.
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homosnapeiens · a month ago
batfam as:
john mulaney quotes
bruce: why did you attack tim?
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batkids: *see a warehouse*
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steph for no reason at all:
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tim in urban legends #6:
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any of the batkids: *having a stable relationship*
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fans: dick is so wholesome and sweet and happy all the time and-
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bane: *fucking murders alfred*
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bruce to cass:
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