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#signal dc
parks-and-get-wrekt21 days ago
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The Robins (plus Duke) as moments from the try guys episode where they get kidnapped
(The last one of these did pretty well and I have more to share so)
Kidnappers: where鈥檚 your phone?
Dick: it dropped outside
Kidnappers: why鈥檚 it outside? Why鈥檚 it not on you?
Dick: I don鈥檛 like the way it makes my pants look
Duke: what鈥檚 being kidnapped usually like? Is it like an escape room?
Jason: it鈥檚 more like a bdsm room
Dick: Oo-Kay
Tim: I was afraid of being kidnapped as a kid. And there was this one nightmare I remember, where the kidnappers got to me and I just started screaming 鈥淚 love you鈥
Dick: the royal family have to get trained for live kidnapping situations. Meghan Markle had to go through a kidnapping scenario like we did today. So I鈥檓 basically鈥 married to prince Harry. Except I鈥檓 gonna have a better dress
Stephanie: I鈥檓 gonna put the nap in kidnap!
Duke: (talking about Batman鈥檚 survival training) he鈥檚 the kind of guy who goes into the woods and bites into raccoon neck for like, sustenance
Jason: I鈥檓 not scared, I鈥檓 kind of like鈥 hard. Nope that wasn鈥檛 the word I wanted to say
*laughter from his siblings*
Jason: I meant hard like I鈥檓 tough not hard like, stop laughing dickhead I didn鈥檛 mean it that way
Dick: (clutching his stomach and cackling)
Stephanie: Tim鈥檚 the best at strategy because he plays a lot of board games, Jason and Damian are obviously the craziest. Me? I can create a distraction. Then we鈥檒l throw Duke at them and run away
Duke: what?
Dick: now I鈥檝e heard of Stockholm syndrome which is where you fall in love with your kidnapper. I鈥檓 not saying that鈥檚 gonna happen today, but that could happen today
Jason: you look so stupid right now
Tim: *messing with his handcuffs* thank you
Tim: wait, can I just- *starts pulling his hand out*
Others: slender wrists! Slender wrists! Slender wrists!
Duke: have any of you ever been in a situation like this?
Damian: I got into a cab once, it was going in circles and the driver kept changing directions and talking on the phone. Eventually I just put a knife to his throat.
Dick: I鈥檓 the run guy, he鈥檚 the stab guy
Jason: this is some dark shit y鈥檃ll
Stephanie: is it weird that I鈥檓 excited?
Damian: *immediately kicks a henchman鈥檚 leg and makes a run for it when they put hoods over everyone鈥檚 heads* *gets caught and brought back to the others*
Dick: (conversationally) hey Dami how鈥檇 you do?
Damian: I made it about 50 yards
Stephanie: oh that鈥檚 pretty far
Random henchman: get down on the floor! No talking!
Dick: (lying facedown) what about singing?
Henchman: (kicks dust over him)
*muffled laughter from the other kids*
Stephanie: (mocking the others bc she鈥檚 not actually adopted) you鈥檒l never get away with this, my dad is a very powerful man. Ooooh when my dad finds out about this
Tim: (giggling)
Jason: okay I鈥檝e got a bunch of tape, what did you all get?
Duke: I got zip ties
Dick: I鈥檓 handcuffed pretty tight
Tim: wanna trade?
Jason: (motioning to a lock pick shiv he鈥檚 got in a secret pocket) okay unzip my pants
Dick: (unsure what鈥檚 going on but down for it) okay yeah
Tim: I don鈥檛 know about you guys, but I鈥檓 sweating like crazy right now. Feel my hand
Jason: no I don鈥檛 need to feel it that鈥檚 gross
Tim: I think I can just slip out
Duke: oh no way
Stephanie: his sweat lubed it up!
Dick: Tim鈥檚 anxiety is the best secret weapon
(During interrogations)
Duke: wait you guys it sounds like they鈥檙e torturing Jason
Jason: (In the distance) ow my dick!
Stephanie: *barely holding back laughter*
Damian: Drake you know what you have to do now, when they鈥檙e torturing you you have to slip out and kill them
Tim: *concern*
*the goons returning from an interrogations*
*muffled giggling as the kids try to get their hoods and restraints back on*
Dick: wait, help!
Stephanie: you鈥檙e on your own man!
*individual interrogations*
Goons: so who has the most money?
Jason: oh Tim definitely (immediately throwing him under the bus)
Goons: wow you really don鈥檛 hesitate to give each other up do you?
Goons: *spray something in Dick鈥檚 face*
Dick: is that axe body spray?
Dick: oh that鈥檚 really bad actually
Goon #1: disgusting isn鈥檛 it?
Dick: (cheerfully) yeah!
Goon #2: purest form of torture
Goons: so apparently this group鈥檚 leader is Tim
Tim: what are you talking about?
Goons: on your feet Timmy
Tim: oh I鈥檒l do that, that鈥檚 fine, I just want it to be on the record that I am the leader, I鈥檓 the number one (being dragged away)
*interrogation room*
Goon #1: this is bear mace, you ever been bear maced?
Duke: I have not seen bear mace no, I can guess though, that it鈥檚 mace but bear strength
Jason: *trying to help get Dick鈥檚 hood off with his hands tied* come towards me I can probably do it with my knees
Dick: wha- you can just use your hands. You鈥檙e just humping my head
Stephanie: (joining the chaos) no wait hold still
*inaudible hump talk*
Stephanie and Jason: 1 2 3, go!
*they actually manage to get the hood off*
Dick: it did work, but it was super awful
*interrogation room*
Tim: I don鈥檛 know if you know this but nobody loves me, it鈥檚 kind of my shtick
Goons: who has the money?!
Tim: (rattling off business statistics)
Goon #1: you just like to babble and spit out a bunch of shit huh?
Duke: it鈥檚 how I think when I鈥檓 nervous!
Goon #2: how do you talk when you鈥檙e in pain?
Duke: pretty much the same
Goon: what鈥檚 wrong with you?!
Tim: oh so many things
*back in the main room*
Stephanie: (as she鈥檚 being dragged away) may I just say that you鈥檙e doing a great job, you have a beautiful operation here
Goon: *insults Damian*
Damian: I鈥檒l remember that when I cut off your head
Stephanie: *fixing Duke鈥檚 hood to look like Yoda ears*
Tim: I told them my shtick is that nobody loves me
Dick: we love you!
Tim: okay then you pay my f*cking random
Damian: not all of us
Jason: (to Duke) (with authority) interrogation 101, you give them nothing dude
Goons: *forcing Tim to stand in a wall sit position*
Tim: oh is this exercise? This is gonna be so uncomfortable
Dick: oh! We got it! We got it!
*the others shushing him*
Dick: okay yeah shh you guys, shh, we got it!
*the kids walking away mostly barefoot after escaping*
Stephanie: (holding up the hoods) I鈥檓 keeping this as a souvenir!
Dick: lets just go until we find like-
Tim: a Starbucks
Duke: does it have to be a Starbucks?
Tim: it has to be a Starbucks I want a caramel macchiato
Jason: can we get fro-yo?
Stephanie: I鈥檓 very proud of myself, I escaped and I annoyed my captors relentlessly
Dianian: they probably would have killed you first as a message to the rest of us
Tim: I would like the record to state that they called me the leader
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robinrequiems6 months ago
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there鈥檚 a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. i don't know what it is but i wanna try it
鈥 something red hood has totally once said, not tony shark
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justakryptonian16 days ago
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tim: I'm freezing cold. I can't stop shivering. Is that supposed to happen?
duke: It's October. You're wearing a light jacket. Go get yourself a proper coat.
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kuna-mart8 months ago
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um continuation mR Duke is mR fAShIONaBLE,,,
and I want a backpack now >:,[
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emblazedwinter4 months ago
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My neurodivergent brain has recently moved the long-time favorite topic of Batman and his army of children back to the top spot for what special interest I feel like indulging in, and I have some headcanons!!! This might have done spoilers but I鈥檓 gonna try to avoid anything major.
I鈥檓 not going into any of the attempted murders or stuff like that because we鈥檙e all aware the bats mostly have shit mental health, and that鈥檚 not what this is about (I鈥檒l probably post something like that later).
I have a bunch of headcanons, but this post is just gonna focus on one category. Let鈥檚 talk about the possible siblings dynamics cause I鈥檓 a bitch for found family tropes!
First up is Tim and Damian Wayne. Can you imagine if they got along?
Both of them are unique chaotic on their own. Damian was raised by assassins, has is army of animals and his love for them mixed with his more... violent approach to problem solving. Tim found out the identity of Batman when he was nine years old, became CEO of a company at 17, and at this point is most likely fueled with caffeine and depression 鈥榗ause he definitely isn鈥檛 getting energy from sleeping.
I imagine something happening that frustrates/upsets Damian and Tim just fucking... solves it and informs Damian with the same tone you鈥檇 use when telling someone what the fucking weather forecast is. If the problem can鈥檛 be fixed he鈥檇 take him to the petting zoo or something to help take his mind off things.
In return, if Tim mentions someone is bothering him Damian will either offer to or say he鈥檚 going to stab the person. Someone saying something negative about Tim and Damian overhears? You better run because Damian鈥檚 got his fucking sword and his animals are running right along side him.
Both of them actually working together to fight villains or simply mess with their other siblings? Downright terrifying.
Next we have Tim and Jason (I really like Tim). They鈥檝e had some good moments in the comics, but this dynamic also has potential for absolute chaos.
Once again, we have Tim, the sleep deprived genius. Then there鈥檚 Jason, legally dead, technically a zombie, actually a comedic badass.
I like the idea of these two bonding over how they became Robin. Jason failing at stealing the tires of the batmobile, Tim literally blackmailed Bruce to convince the man to train him.
Jason being unexpectedly protective of Tim in true Jason Todd fashion (ie, probably threatens to steal Tim鈥檚 coffee, drug his coffee, or get Alfred if he doesn鈥檛 get some fucking SLEEP鈥!)
Tim randomly crashing Jason鈥檚 safe houses to drag him over to the manor for family dinner or some charity gala because 鈥渋f I鈥檓 being forced to socialize so are you!鈥
The batkids switching to a different language randomly in the middle of a conversation just because.
Dick and Jason making up "traditions" just to fuck with their younger siblings.
Duke casually announcing things the other batkids did or are about to do.
Prank wars!!!
Think about all the possibilities!
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The Batfams fatal flaws
Bruce: Nothing is worse than that canon fact that he eats hamburgers with a fork
Dick: He eats ice cream with a fork
Jason: Tracks his muddy shoes through the carpet without thinking
Tim: The floor in his room can鈥檛 be seen under the papers, clothes, and more on the floor聽
Cass: She uses the last of something and makes the next person who wants some get the new one
Duke: Describes things, like Gotham city for example, in an obnoxiously inspiring and poetic way 24/7
Damian: Leaves people on read 24/7
Steph: She drags her nails across the chalkboard on purpose聽
Babs: Gets into arguments with strangers on social media聽
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ghostpainters6 months ago
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Duke Thomas: Does anyone else remember Blockbuster Video?
After a relatively easy night of patrol, Duke engages in the weekly ritual of picking up a movie at Blockbuster. Why there鈥檚 one left in Gotham, nobody knows. But Duke is smart enough not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He鈥檚 been going to this store every Friday since he was five. Eliza at the cash has known him since he was literally knee-high. She recognizes him now as the Signal, but she鈥檒l take his secret to the grave. Tonight, it鈥檚 Return of the Jedi on VHS. Duke鈥檚 getting the movie, Tim鈥檚 buying the popcorn, and Jason鈥檚 supplying the TV. (Jason doesn鈥檛 know he鈥檚 supplying the TV yet, but that鈥檚 probably for the best.)
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undyingpeculiarity5 months ago
Oh oh "Fighting on" for Duke Thomas?
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DUKE I love him
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remnants7 months ago
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bruce being woken up from his 30 minute after-patrol power nap at 6am by michael jackson's 'they don't care about us' blasting at full volume on the surround sound system because he grounded duke for 2 weeks for calling black mask a pussy on live tv:
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heres-to-evil-skanks6 days ago
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Quarantined: Red Robin鈥檚 Tik Tok Account
I spent the day yesterday reading THIS AMAZING fanfic by @justthatonegirl1815鈥 and the moment I saw this
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I knew I had to draw it so, here聽
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again, its from Quarantined: Red Robin鈥檚 Tik Tok Account聽I鈥檓 in love with the fic
tags under cut(ask to be added/removed)
@casismymrdarcy鈥 @meltedcandlescas鈥嬄
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ameba-from-space2 months ago
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Bruce may not be the perfect father or the most open person but if you tell me that for even one second that bruce wasn't ready to trade his life for the safety of his kids you are lying, Bruce might not have been the best in expressing his love for his kids but goddamn did he love every single one of them with his entire heart and that's something you can't convince me otherwise.
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thatawkwardmoth26 days ago
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One of Bruce's biggest challenges was dealing with Duke's hair. With Cass (and Stephanie), he learned how to braid and do perfect buns for dance classes in minutes.
With Duke, he researched extensively what products were the best for Duke's type of hair. He asked Lucius (not the slightest bit embarrassed, this was for his son) and other parents in his kids friends circle.
Duke then ends up in the bathroom he, Tim, and Cass share with Bruce trying his hardest not to fuck up Wash Day.
He massages the products through his hair and listens to him and Tim argue over which paw patrol character is the best. Duke's hair looks better and the mom that recommended the brand complimented Duke last week and his boy lit up.
It's been a hard challenge but it's worth it to see Duke happy.
(I did some research for this but I'm not in anyway experienced. Tell me if I did something wrong or if I should delete this.
I really just wanted Duke to have a cute bonding moment with Bruce. I always see Bruce struggling with Cassandra and hairstyles for her. But Duke was a whole new ballgame for him.)
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batfam-rewrites3 months ago
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Dick and Barbara: *watching tv*
Jason: *walks by*
Dick: *sees Jason鈥檚 bare leg* Hey Jason, lift up your pants leg!
Barbara: What?
Jason: No!
Dick: Come on, just do it!
Jason: No, leave me alone!
Barbara: What is up with you Dick?
Dick: Jason shaved his legs.
Barbara: How do you know?
Dick: *points at the gap between Jason鈥檚 pants leg and sock*
Barbara: Oh my god! Everyone get in here!!!
Jason: No!!!! I didn鈥檛!!! Your delusional!!!
Everyone: *walks in*
Tim: What鈥檚 up!
Dick: Jason shaved his leg!!!
Duke: No way!
Tim: Prove it!!!!
Dick: Jason, do us the honor!!!
Jason: No!!!!
Everyone: Pull up your pants! Pull up your pants! Pull up your pants!聽Pull up your pants!
Jason: Leave me alone!!!
Cassandra: *tackles Jason and tries to pull up Jason鈥檚 pants leg while Jason is kicking*
Jason: Get off!!!
Cassandra: HE SHAVED HIS LEGS!!!! HE SHAVED HIS LEGS!!!
Bruce: Jason, show us now!
Jason: Eat shit!
Alfred: Master Jason, show us your leg right now!!!
Jason: Okay, fine Alfred!!! *pulls up his pants leg to reveal a bare leg*
Stephanie: How the fuck did this happen!!!
Jason: I鈥檓 not saying!!!
Alfred: Master Todd!!!
Jason: Ugghh!!!! Fine! So last night I was taking a shower, and I saw the razor on the ledge, and I thought聽鈥淲ow, I鈥檓 pretty hairy, I wonder what it would be like to not have hair on my body?鈥
Cullen: Oh my god!
Bruce: Did you shave everywhere?
Jason: *lifts up his shirt* Yeah.
Everyone: *laughs at Jason*
Duke: So this is why you took forever in the shower last night.
Jason: Yeah.
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