1/29/23
I’M BACK!!! Omg hello everyone!!!! I am brushing off the dust on this blog and starting to bring back some snippets of my daily study life.
I am proud to say that I did get into my nursing program! I’ve just been REALLY into vtubers and I started doing study with me streams hehe. I think i’ll make an updated intro pin post soon.
stay hydrated!
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Hello gorgeous souls, here is my take on love
I truly wonder how is it to love again someone.
How it feels to have the touch of a lover, the smell, that electricity crippling when they touch you with theirs fingers smoothly throughout your skin.
To wake up in the morning turning around and there they are, peacefully sleeping, to get out of bed thinking of making a breakfast surprise, with warm tea or milk, some cookies or toasts and their favorite fruit to finish all up.
To be alone at the kitchen and suddenly arms surround you from behind giving you a tiny jump but melting completely in their arms.
To have little discussions of who knows more about a show or bickering on who takes care of the laundry that day.
To make sure they eat and drink their water, to pass by a store and see something that reminds you of them, to buy a snack on your way home because you know they probably were either craving it or simply not eaten yet for quite some time.
To look at the sunny days, when they already bright seam brighter and the rainy ones just seam warm water after a swim in the ocean.
When your phone rings and in the hope that a sweet or simply a "what do we need from the supermaket?" text from them.
To those 3 am conversations about how you felt five years ago when someone scold you for doing something wrong.
The gentle caress of a finger in your cheek.
Songs to dance and sing together.
Dinners out.
Dinners in.
Make up sex and straight out making love to each other.
The inside jokes.
The exchange of looks when one of us feels anxious or tired from a party.
Cooking meals together or cooking a meal thinking of them.
Flirting like we've met only a week ago.
Those deep conversations about unknown themes, themes that are not usually brought up so comfortably while with friends.
The tenderness in their eyes and the warm smile you give in response when they are across a room.
So much more then just this, that words most of the time can't even describe, to love someone when you love yourself too, too have someone as a lover an inspiration to life, to grow togheter and apart!
And i am only touching the beautiful things because those ugly ones that make us human are here too, because to love someone as they are is to accept them, to aprecciate and grow!
Beautiful thing to do when you can grow with someone and feel less alone in your little world!
I trully hope that one day everyone finds their love because everyone deserves love to love and to be loved!
Have a beautiful day amazing souls and romanticize your life once in a while, it will make no harm but make your life a bit easier!
Much love,
your fellow friend
Carina.
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
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