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uhhhhforgetaboutit · 3 years

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Heyyy, so I made picrews of my re8 ocs. Here we have Elaine Dogwood Giannatacio (usually just goes by Elaine Dogwood since some people [cough Heisenberg and Angie cough] cannot pronounce her last name) and Isabel Sato.

Elaine is 5'11 and rather gangly. She kinda stands there like 🧍‍♀️ most the time lmao. Her voice is deeper and smooth, but with just enough rasp to be *chefs kiss* perfect.

Isabel is 5'3 and just small. Not in a super-short-oompa-loompa way, but just a petite way. Her voice is really soft and sweet. The kind of voice you could fall asleep to. Also she can sing! She's not like American Idol or anything but she has a good voice.

Anyway, let us start with Elaine shall we?

Elaine is a very deadpan person with a quick wit and a subtle sense of humor. She likes to keep her emotions under lock and key for the most part. She fears people won't tolerate her if she spills all her negative emotions, so she tends to keep them bottled up. However, she is not a cold or unkind person. Quite the opposite actually, she loves to help people and animals (animals!!!).

Now, about her "powers" (cadou induced abilities) They consist of extreme persuasion/compulsion. By making eye contact with her red eye she is able to compel basically anyone to do anything. Now, Elaine usually wears an eye patch over her red eye because she worries she may accidentally compel someone. However, she does use her ability if she feels lazy or angry and can regret her choices later on. She also compels animals into being her pets because she is lonely.

Now, on to Isabel!

Sweet little Isabel is simply a small town girl who ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. She wanted to strike out on her own and make a life for herself, but ended up being kidnapped by Daniela. So now she finds herself working as a maid in the Dimitrescu castle. It's not all bad, Alcina treats her employees considerably well. For the most part.

Now, the girls are awfully fond of Isabel because of her inherently sweet nature. Of course Isabel is terrified of the girls, but she doesn't let them know that. She is kind to them, even when they are covered in blood and a bit manic. She makes sure they're warm and happy, and they love that. Of course it's literally Isabel's job but if she was being honest, she'd probably help then anyway. Even though the girls are bloodthirsty and a bit sadistic, Isabel couldn't help but see their personalities underneath. She had grown to love them for themselves, rather than fear them for their violent side.

⚠️Trigger warning⚠️

Depression, anxiety, mentions of suicide and self harm

Now, Isabel is just a kind and happy girl, but she does have her own hidden issues. She had a history of anxiety and depression before getting captured by Daniela, but now that she lives in the castle it's amplified. Her hands tremor regularly as she works form the amount of anxiety roiling around in her small body. At night she lays awake crying silent tears as she remembers the taste of fresh air and the feeling of sun on her skin. Sometimes she feels as though she no longer remembers what happiness feels like. At one point her thoughts turned to offing herself for some type of relief, but she grew scared and steered away from that thought. Instead she settled for cutting her wrists. She felt relief from being in control of her pain, unlike her time in the dungeons with Cassandra.

End of trigger warning

Uhh, now this is basically just a fic of Elaine and Isabel meeting for the first time lmao

Isabel and Elaine met when Elaine came to visit Alcina and the girls. Isabel had been one of the maids to serve dinner, and she cought Elaine's eye. Elaine was very aware of how the girls "played" with the maids, and though she didn't exactly agree with it, she couldn't really blame them either. They needed blood to survive, after all. However, she noticed the faint tremble in Isabel's hands as she set a plate down in front of her. She also caught sight of a single cut on Isabel's wrist as her sleeve rode up, but it was enough for her. 'Poor thing, she's not doing well here.' Elaine thought. Now, of course most of the maids dont do particularly 'well', in the castle, but Isabel was different. Most maids were hurried and spurred on by fear and resentment. Isabel... Isabel smiled, a genuine smile. Isabel had gentle hands as she worked, she worked with care.

So after dinner was finished and Isabel reached for Elaine's now empty plate to take it to be cleaned, Elaine gently grabbed her sleeve between two fingers. Isabel froze, pale blue eyes snapping to Elaine's in surprise mingled with fear. Alcina perked up at the interaction. It was rare that Elaine payed any mind to the maids.

"What is your name, darling?" Elaine asked softly. Isabel hesitated, seeming confused by the entire situation.

"My- my name is Isabel, my lady." Isabel responded in her soft, silky voice. Elaine smiled gently at the girl, examining her face closely. She was very attractive, Elaine mentally acknowledged as she turned her attention to Alcina.

"I've noticed Isabel here has been quite attentive all night, a very good maid indeed. I was wondering if I may take her home with me." Elaine proposed, trying not to let on how much she wanted to whisk this poor girl away from the castle. Alcina grinned wolfishly as she tilted her head downward slightly.

"Oh? You wish to take her home with you?" Alcina echoed in a suggestive tone. Elaine refrained from rolling her eyes and simply smiled thinly.

"Yes, that is what I said." Elaine replied, the hand gripping Isabel's sleeve moving to cup her elbow instead. Her fingers curled around Isabel's arm in a possessive manner as she maintained eye contact with Alcina. Alcina narrowed her eyes for a moment before chuckling lowly.

"Alright, you can have her. Consider it an early birthday present." Alcina said with a grin, and Elaine nodded in response, turning her gaze to Isabel, who looked rather taken aback by the whole ordeal.

"Go gather your things, we'll be leaving shortly." Elaine murmured softly, rubbing Isabel's arm before releasing her. Isabel stayed rooted to the spot before curtsying and hurrying away.

Once Isabel had finished packing and Elaine said her goodbyes the two soon found themselves sitting across from eachother in Elaine's personal carriage. Isabel kept fidgeting in her seat nervously and Elaine sat in an awkward silence. Out of habit she fiddled with her eye patch and saw Isabel tense. Realization dawned on Elaine like icewater being dumped on her head. 'The poor girl probably thinks I'm going to compel her into having sex with me.' She thought guiltily as she lowered her hand to her lap. She cleared her throat.

"When we get to my estate I shall show you to your chambers and leave you to get settled in. If you need anything you can find me and ask, I'm usually awake at most hours. When I do sleep I sleep light, so don't worry about waking me. I also must warn you about Marcello. He's my raven, and he likes to be a pest most of the time. If he bothers you just shoo him away." Elaine explained, watching Isabel closely. The blond seemed to relax the smallest bit before nodding.

"Yes my lady. Thank you." She murmured softly, and Elaine swore her heart melted at the sound of her voice.

"You may also call me Elaine. I'm not one for titles. Marcello on the other hand, you might need to watch out for." Elaine deadpanned with an eyeroll. Isabel covered a giggle with her hand and Elaine's ego inflated itself at the sound.

"Alright, I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Elaine." Isabel replied with a soft smile, glancing up at Elaine through her bangs. That was the moment Elaine swore to herself that she'd do anything to see Isabel smile that way.

Suddenly, the carriage came to a halt and Elaine quickly got to her feet. She stepped out into the crisp night air before turning to offer her hand to Isabel. In the dim light she could have sworn she saw Isabel blush as she took Elaine's outstretched hand.

"Well here we are." Elaine announced, gesturing to the dark mansion before the two of them. Isabel stared in wonder at the sheer size of the place. She wondered if Elaine truly lived by herself here. 'If she does it must be rather lonely.' Isabel thought, glancing at the taller woman in sympathy. She was surprised to see Elaine already looking at her. They exchanged awkward smiles before walking up to the mansion together. Little did they know how pivotal that moment was.

#alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #resident evil village #re8 #resident evil oc #re8 oc #original character #daniela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #5th lord oc #maid oc

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tovelarisdreams · 3 years

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Hi! I saw your comments in a recent post where a gwynriel asked why people thought gwyn is a lightsinger and I felt compelled to reach out to you to say I AGREE and I am so sorry for the hostility you were shown for your completely justified (and non-combative) comments.

There are a few points that I wanted to make that I don’t think gwynriels understand.

1. A lot of people think gwyn is a lightsinger because of the possible foreshadowing techniques that Sarah implemented in ACOSF. Bringing up lightsingers so casually and then describing gwyn’s singing and breath and the reactions other had to both of those in the way she did is curious to say the least. Although it’s not confirmed, it is an interesting theory.

2. IF gwyn is a lightsinger, it does not mean she is evil! The most popular theory I’ve seen is that she doesn’t understand her powers and is possibly being unwillingly controlled by Merrill (who I think we can all agree is a little sus). Yes, there may be some people who want gwyn to be knowingly evil, much like many more gwynriels who want elain to turn evil just for the sake of getting her out of the picture. But the majority of elriels I’ve seen and interacted with are more supportive of the possible “Merrill abusing gwyn’s powers” theory since we all know that gwyn is canonically kind.

3. Gwyn possibly being a lightsinger is in NO WAY tied to her being an SA survivor. It is the same way that Rhys being able to casually mist people and Nesta being able to literally disintegrate the Queen with her powers have nothing to do with their being SA survivors. When gwynriels say that elriels are “attacking gwyn because she is in SA survivor” just because elriels suggest gwyn might have lightsinger powers blows my mind. And they say that “real life SA survivors are hurt by these theories” - why? I don’t like to talk about my own history but I myself am an SA survivor and in no way do I think that saying gwyn might have lightsinger powers (or even saying she could be evil- not that many are saying that) has ANYTHING to do with her SA history. I equate this with all of the hate nesta and Rhys consistently have gotten over the years. The way gwynriels are using gwyn’s SA history as a reason to dispel theories they do not like is akin to an anti-Nesta saying “nesta is rude and I don’t like her” and then someone saying “you are an awful human being for not liking her because she’s an SA survivor. You obviously do not support SA victims at all. How dare you not like nesta”. A character is not solely defined by their history with SA. And their SA is not inherently tied to every other aspect about them. IF gwyn is a lightsinger (and IF she uses her powers knowingly or unknowingly) that has NOTHING to do with her being an SA survivor.

I am just so tired of gwynriels trying to twist elriels’ words to make them out to be villains. No elriel I have seen on tumblr has ever said anything negative about gwyn’s SA history. If anyone were to attack her for that specifically, yeah, they should called out for that because that is messed up. But people need to stop assuming that everything said about gwyn is somehow tied to her being an SA survivor. That is a part of who she is unfortunately but that is not ALL she is and when gwynriels are constantly using that to combat theories they do not like, they are reducing her to her SA and THAT is what is the most messed up. Gwyn is so much more than her SA and she, as well as every SA survivor in real life, deserves the respect of being treated like they are a human being and more than their SA.

Sorry for this long post but I saw your comments and they were completely in-line with my beliefs as well and I wanted to show my support for you.

Heyyy! Thank u so much. That little "debate" left me a little shaken, to be honest. It became a real trigger, really fast.

Lets talk abou the point:

1) The lightsinger theory for me is one of the best ones. I've been saying this from the begging, Gwyn needs to have a important role next book. Yes, The book is Elain's. But Elain will get the sub plot with her Love interest like Nessian did. Gwyn's role, i believe, is realted to the bigger plot. Sarah described her singing for some reason, and its show to affect Nestha in ACOSF.

2) YES! I do not want Gwyn to be evil, and don't believe she will. Her being manipulated by Merril is a great plot. Cause that woman is weird lol. I understand why gwynriels get so mad about, cause this theory eliminates the romantic aspect of Gwyn's voice on Az. But a theory is a theory, and this one makes a lot of sense with what Sjm left as hints in ACOSF. And what u say is true. The make so many Evil elain theory, not only that but they portrait elain in a very evil, manipulative manners. They think that is super ok, but make on sigle theory about precious gwyn and they go crazy.

3) This is the worst part for me. They use a very serious real life thing, for a petty reason. There is no excuse for using SA as a argument to solidify book theorys. And they use for ANYTHING. Anyone say anything about gwyn, a they come boiling with rage saying u are being toxic and not respecting her trauma. Withou realizing that they are attacking REAL LIFE SA SURVIVORS. Its ridiculous. The Lightsinger theory has nothing to do with what gwyn suffered. Nothing. Most theories doens't. I've been in this fandom for a while, and not once have i seen anyone say anything rude about her in that manner.

The problem is: Their shipp doesn't have solid theories. They have some conversations along ACOSF that show no more than a friendly interaction. And then, the famous extra chapter. The problem with the extra chapter is: what happens there cannot have more power than what happens in regular chapter. That's why i say that the necklace wont be a major issue next book. Even of we decide to take what happens there as important, what do we really have ? Az talks to gwyn and helps her with her training. Then, goes to the library and give CLOTHO (not gwyn) the necklace for her to deliver, but he also say for her to give to any other pristess, if not gwyn. Also, says he does nto consider her a friend. What i take from it is: Azriel is the link between Gwyn and next book. Like i said before, she has a role next book but nothing ties her to elain. We need a link there. And that setence about their friendship, for me, its the hint left behind.

The way i see it, we dont have romantic fellings or interaction there. Only hints to bring her back next book. And talking about elriel in his pov. For elriel, we have the extra step. It says it right there, they never dared do anything other than touching hands and stealing glances. The invisible line they created, almost crossed. But stopped by rhys. Why ?

1) Tell me one author that is dumb enough to make a shipp canon on a extra chapter ? Yes, that kiss couldn't happen there. (Thank u Rhys)

2) Who doens't love a proibited romance ? Rhys order just gave us the best hint for the sub plot of elain's book. Along with some intersting drama between the charaters. (Again, Thank u Rhys)

In the end, sjm got a lot of marketing with that extra chapter too. Azriel is a fan favorite and she knew we were all waiting on that pov. Its a lot a marketing there too.

And Thank u for showinh your support! I love it ! As u can see, i have a lot a thoughts on Elriel hahaha

#elriel #azriel and elain #elriel theory #anti gwynriel #azriel pov #azriel #acotar #acosf #elain archeron #elain #azriel x elain

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n7punk · 3 years

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I was working on this digital fan art for an author whose writing I loved. However, I’ve recently become aware of some toxic behavior on their part. I’m really proud of how the art is turning out though! I even considered making another tumblr to post it so that I could hide my shame. Moment of weakness. I downloaded tumblr to look at She-ra fan art and read other people’s ramblings but I’m incredibly grateful for the thoughtful way you approached the topic. It forced me to dig deep and really think about what I support and what my support means to other people. The depth of discussion around this is hard for me to grasp (cis lesbian using she/her pronouns) but I want to and you specifically are helping me. Long way of saying thanks, I think you’re smart af. I ALSO LOVE YOUR WRITING!!!

ty! rest assured, if i ever do something transphobic, it is an accident and please correct me. I dealt with so much internalized transphobia when i came out to myself (//cw transphobia: i cant count how many hours i spent laying in my bed shouting “youre a girl! just be a girl!” to myself) and it’s hard to deprogram that shit.

The art is a tough situation, especially when you have something like that which you are proud of. If you have friends in the fandom space, perhaps you could share it privately with them so someone can still appreciate it with the appropriate caveats behind the source of the initial inspiration?

Under a read more because I don’t want to give her a voice but I wanna rant about her “apology”:

if she had been at all remorseful, that would be a different conversation, but i am 100% convinced she is a crypto-terf. She deleted her original 6-tweet response that “i’m right that this isn’t transphobic” but boy was it something, and the thin apology she posted later was not sufficient, nor did it feel at all genuine to me.

And okay, let’s pretend that excluding someone based only on their genitals isn’t inherently transphobic: it would still be problematic and hurtful, like having a mug that says “i dont do [fat people]” or any other personal feature. it is discriminating someone based on their body, and nobody would be defending that as a “personal choice” of hers, they would be calling it fatphobic (which takes us back to the part where this was absolutely transphobic).

Then she pulled the “cancel culture is toxic and hurts everybody” card in her next tweet, making herself out to be the victim in the grand scheme. These tweets were not rash reactions btw, they were spread out over the course of several hours or even a day, and she didn’t delete them for many hours afterwards either - these tweets are how she really feels, and the fact she has since deleted everything and is not addressing it shows that she doesn’t want to learn better. (She could be addressing it on her discord/patreon, idk im not on there, but I doubt it).

This isn’t the first incident with her showing disregard for others and it won’t be the last. Her server was a toxic place I legitimately felt trapped in even though I rarely spoke. My readers would notice if I left, so I was thankful when I was given an out to leave. That is when I posted about not taking requests, but I was actually leaving because of the three separate incidents where they triggered me with the disgusting and violent content they posted. They would repeatedly praise authors I have blacklisted for triggering content. If I had owned that server, I would have completely banned discussions of those works, censorship be damned. I can tell you from how she handled triggers that Silk only cares about things that negatively affect her personally. She isn’t a kind or caring person, and that would be enough to earn my block, even if she wasn’t a terf (which she is).

#anon #ask

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petitprincess1 · 3 years

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If you don’t like Villainous so much why do you talk about it as much as you do? What about “let people enjoy things” even if you don’t care for it.

Never said I didn't like it though?? I dont like the direction it's going, but I do think the show has great potential. Also, criticisms are not going to make people stop enjoying the show. How would it? Are they that easily swayed? X3

Also, I've been with the show since it's beginning in 2017, so I know what I'm talking about with criticisms. I'll stop when more people begin discussing the flaws, glaring or not, with the show, instead of just praising it to no end. And I have explained this before.

Plus, I'm not saying this stuff to be negative. Criticism is not inherently negative. It's there to help people grow. Considering how little critiques the show gets, well...it needs a lot of growing, just judging by a lot of the contradictions or how different the characters will act from time to time or even dropped plots. If you don't like it, you can always block me.

#villainous #villainos #villanos #unpopular opinion #ask answered

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gendercunt-archive · 3 years

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hey sorry if this is bad to ask you don't have to answer if it makes u uncomfortable but did sparklekitty-stims do something bad?? i obviously dont wanna support them if theyve done something harmful and it would be helpful if you could explain what the issue is since i cant find anything wrong just by searching and stuff. thanks and sorry if this was wrong to ask i just wanna know what happened

This post has been updated to show sparklekitty-stims correct pronouns!! He does not use they/them!

It’s a totally fine question! He didn’t do anything like awful so if you want to support him that’s fine, I just don’t want you interacting with me if you do because he did some really shitty stuff to me in dms and he has an extremely entitled attitude about his terms, I just don’t want people interacting with me that agree with like,, harassing people because they relate with a term you coined and happen to be someone that you dislike (even though they’re not on your DNI)

But to answer what he DID, he harassed me in dms because I “broke his DNI,” which I didn’t do. I used to have anti-shippers on my DNI, and while I don’t owe anyone a detailed recounting of any trauma and negative experience I might have, I don’t like aggressive anti shippers, they freak me out and I don’t want them interacting with me.

He took antis being on my DNI to mean I’m a proshipper, I get that, it’s happened before, which is why I also had on the same bullet point in my DNI “I’m not a proshipper, antis are just a very aggressive group and they scare me, please leave me out of shipcourse, I don’t want to talk about it.”

But he insisted again and again no matter how much I explained that I’m not a proshipper that I really am and that I’m triggering him and that if I don’t take down the reblog he’s gonna “warn the mogai community about [me].” I ended up taking down the reblog because I’ve been the target of harassment on tumblr before and I am very not in the headspace to do that again, especially not on a non-discourse blog that I consider a safe space for me (update, he totally lied, I took down the post and he’s still made a callout chock full of misinfo about me)

So tl;dr it’s not that he’s inherently bad, it’s that I really dislike him and his attitude and he really hurt me and I just don’t want you interacting if you agree with him or are friends with him

#I had more stuff in the tags but it included the wrong pronouns #and I don’t want to leave stuff where he’s misgendered #I apologize

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Im asking this genuinely so pls dont yell at me; when you say that those using trigger warnings dont care about their readers’ mental health and wellbeing, what else are trigger warnings supposed to be for? To make sure people don’t enter fics that have material that would harm them. Just like tv shows that warn about nudity or violence or what have you. Its a rating system, theyre warnings. Tagging for rape or underage ARE the looking-out-for-readers thing. Past that, it is on readers to decide

I try not to yell at anyone engaging in good faith, I know it doesn’t always seem that way, but I would rather be engaged with than ignored...the latter is when my volume goes up, lol.

But in answer to your question, it comes down to the fact that trigger warnings are well established enough in fandom by now, that they exist as a kind of social contract.

In short, its EXPECTED that you provide trigger warnings, and that if you don’t have them, someone will bring that up at some point.

Problem is, this counter-productively works against what trigger warnings are actually FOR.....once we reach a point (which we’ve long since reached)....where a lot of people are only including the trigger warnings because of the social contract that expects them to have them, and not ACTUALLY because they’re prioritizing their readers’ well-being.

Something I see a LOT after trigger warnings is the phrase or sentiment “enter at your own risk”....and the phrasings are so, so key to what I’m talking about.

Take a small sampling and just look for what I’m describing and I’m fairly certain you won’t have to go far to find an example of a fic where the tone of the author is not one of concern for readers, but preemptive concern for potential backlash from readers.

And these are two very different things.

Like, we all know how to read and interpret tone and nuance. Its genuinely not that hard to tell the difference between a sincere expression of wanting readers to be aware of potentially triggering content, and a faux-expression of that when really, the only thing you’re worried about triggering is a negative reception from people, and you want to get ahead of that by making it clear from the get go that hey, you did your job, you warned readers, and thus nobody has any grounds to say anything about your content itself.

Because also too there’s the fact that trigger warnings are inherently fallible. They rely on the author’s own AWARENESS of their content and everything it might include......but a racist author isn’t going to place a trigger warning for using their characters as mouthpieces for even blatant white supremacist ideology.

A genuinely predatory author (and yes, they absolutely do exist, and its willful stubbornness that people rely on to pretend that like, for some bizarre reason, only genuinely predatory people don’t partake in this otherwise global hobby of reading and writing fiction, like what even is that, how do you arrive at that conclusion, that like, actual pedophiles are so busy preying on ‘real life’ teenagers in their zip code 24/7 that they just don’t have TIME to go online and cultivate predatory relationships with real life teenagers via social media? That doesn’t make any sense!)

But anyway, a genuinely predatory author, is absolutely NOT going to tag or place trigger warnings for pedophilia, etc....because they don’t WANT the things they write perceived that way.

People trying to normalize incest are not always going to tag for incest because they want to DISTANCE the cute, sweet dynamic between two ‘only sorta brothers’ as other than the kind of incest that destroys families...regardless of the reality that most cases of incest are the LATTER and its the FORMER that’s so rare it barely exists.

And that sort of thing is how we get terms like dub-con and pseudo-incest and ‘consensual underage sex’ when its describing a relationship between a minor and adult....because this is mitigating, distancing language. Its entire reason for existing is to make unpalatable content seem more palatable.

And especially in Batfandom, we KNOW this.

Because we all, practically universally, give Devin Grayson crap for describing the rape in Nightwing #93 as ‘nonconsensual sex’ and go.....THATS NOT A THING!

And then half of fandom turns around and....acts like that and similar stuff...IS A THING.

That doesn’t work! LOL. It just...doesn’t.

Or another example, because abuse can be just as triggering as rape.....like, for me, personally, I’m a survivor of both, and yes, both CAN be triggering. But not as much as people might think....like, just reading a depiction of these things doesn’t trigger me.

Its, like you were saying at the get go, yes, a matter of surprise.....the kind of thing that CAN be warned for, and prepared for, and its the sheer unexpectedness that’s usually the trigger.

Like.....I went off a few weeks ago about reading a story that was supposed to be about Dick’s brothers learning the truth about what led him to take the Spyral mission and what happened in Forever Evil. That’s what the summary said, that was it, that was the only thing it led me to expect about the story. So understandably, I go into the story expecting it to be sympathetic to Dick. I’m looking for catharsis from it honestly, a salve for the many fics and canon events that blamed and punished him for something I don’t consider his fault, right?

And then towards the end....I get Jason punching Dick again, before hugging him, because that’s just how he reluctantly shows love or whatever.

This genuinely triggered me, yeah. Its why I got so upset about it. Because I was blindsided, I had no way to prepare for it, because I went in expecting catharsis for a story that bothered me due to its victim blaming, and instead I got the author heaping on more of the same abuse we already saw in canon.....with zero awareness that’s what she was doing.

So....that’s absolutely something I wrestled with should I message the author and ask them to add a trigger warning or not? Because I genuinely could have used one. It would have helped. I would have avoided that story if I had any notion that might crop up in it, because frankly, that’s not something I had any interest in reading.

But problem is, there’s only really two realistic outcomes there. If she was open to hearing a genuine request for her to be aware that her content contained triggering material for a reader....chances are, she probably would have just edited it and taken that out entirely. It was just one line. Easy enough to do. It certainly didn’t add anything.

Problem is....there’s an equal and opposite likely outcome....that she’d get defensive, call this unsolicited criticism, and double down on the idea that what she had written wasn’t abuse, because obviously she doesn’t condone abuse, so she wouldn’t have written that plain and simple. It has to be acknowledged that a lot of authors ARE innately defensive about social content in their work, and not open to hearing they’ve done something offensive or triggering....because that’s like...literally the basis of the ‘no unsolicited criticism’ movement in fandom, even though being critical of toxic ideology expressed in content is NOT the same as offering criticism of someone’s writing in general.

So you see what I mean? A trigger warning COULD genuinely help in that situation....but our fandom environment simply flat out is not conducive for readers to be at all confident that they even CAN come forward and alert an author that they delved into an offensive, even harmful take with their content and be well received no matter HOW they phrase it....

For much the same reasons I mentioned in that other post. People are more likely to instinctively jump to the defense of the person WRITING the content that offended or did actual emotional harm....than the person simply trying to say, backed by their own lived experience of....being offended or experiencing emotional harm....hey, this is a problem for me and I would appreciate it being regarded as such....

Otherwise, what is even the POINT of this entire system of trigger warnings in the first place? If a problem for a reader isn’t regarded as worthy of attention in and of itself.....at least, not in comparison to whatever problem that READER’S problem creates for the WRITER.

You see what I’m saying? For this, and a lot of other reasons, trigger warnings are innately fallible. They rely on an honor code system, and the uncomfortable truth is none of us are actually naive enough to believe everyone in fandom is innately honorable enough to honor that....if they were, would we have as much cases of anon hate, spite fics, etc?

But fandom as a whole looked at the trigger warning system and decided well....its good enough. Because its not like I’m proposing a viable alternative, its not like I have a BETTER system in mind, offhand. All I do have is the point that well...no...its NOT good enough as is....because for a ton of reasons, there’s a ton of cases in which there’s a ton of people for which it flat out doesn’t work for or benefit at all.

But when this comes up to any degree, in any capacity whatsoever....and the only thing people fall back on is well, I tagged it, or I used trigger warnings what more do you want, or its good enough for me so that’s what matters, or just....

“I did what I was supposed to per the social contract about trigger warnings, so if anything goes wrong in your reading experience at this point, that’s entirely on you.”

Like, does that make sense?

Basically, there’s a world of difference between:

This is a problem that still needs solving because the solution provided now is not all-encompassing or inclusive....

And....

This is a problem that’s already been solved as far as I’m concerned, and I’m utilizing that solution so any further problems are just in the mind of the reader and have nothing to do with reality, let alone me and my work.

Again, as I said above....its the difference between genuinely engaging with other members of your fandom community with actual concern for THEIR fandom experience.....or faking engagement with other members of your fandom community when your only real concern is YOUR fandom experience, and at most, the experiences of anyone who already is of like minds to you on a subject.

Hopefully that answers your question or clarifies my stance there, anon. And thank you for actually engaging on this. It feels a bit like shouting into the void a lot of the time, lol.

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squeakadeeks · 6 years

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Hey squeaks, so this is a bit of a personal question but how do you shake that jarring feeling that anything good you have or may get will be taken away? I'm 19, about to graduate, considering going to art school and generally just a late bloomer but I can't shake this feeling that some random circumstance is going to come out of nowhere and either interrupt me forming a proper social life or take away what I already have. Do you have any advice on coping with those thoughts?

hmm, let me see what the squeaks can do!

Now as of late ive had a v e r y unhealthy thinking pattern of “Even if something bad happens, it wont matter, since good things dont matter that much anyway. good or bad events have very little effect regardless, nothing matters we’re all going to die.” NOW THAT….is like setting the foundation for some ripe prime depression. but there are some kernels of good advice within it?

When worrying about the state of the future and preserving good tides:

-Take stock of what you can, and cannot control. Realize that there are mechanisms beyond your grasp, but theres also a lot of things you can control. Focusing your energy on the things you can effect, like relationships, disposition, world view, and perseverance, saves you stress and anxiety. Instead of worrying about things that you could fret about for years with no effect, people’s thoughts about you, acceptance rates, ect, you can fill your thought space and expend energy on things that will make a difference.

-Realize the world is fickle and cyclical. good things happen. bad things happen. then good things happen again. Life has seasons of prosperity, then dull down periods. it does for everyone regardless if they show it. Acknowledging that good things dont last forever…but nether do bad things, helps you rationalize that even if something bad does occur, if something good is taken away, it can come back just as easily. The world isn’t inherently good or bad, for every negative thing, something positive will come about eventually. setting it back to equilibrium.

-Make the right assumptions based on emotion, or logic. Sometimes setting crazy high expectations warps our view of what a “good thing” can be. Adjusting your expectations first starts with balancing out your assumptions. Do you assume people are kind, and good things happen, or that people are cruel and uncaring? My General rule of thumb is “Make logic based assessments on necessities, like housing, finances and healthy social life, and emotion based assessments on supplementary features.” Logic bases assessments are cut and dry, but stable. Emotion based assessments are lively and passionate, but prone to change. Making the right judgment calls, tells me what kind of expectations i can make, and helps me secure a stable emotional track down the road regardless of what happens!

#whoops #long post #squeak speaks

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yvvaine · 7 years

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I was wondering if any [past or present] Jonerys, Pro-Daenerys fans like myself feel this way.....?

Firstly Id say please be nice i just enjoy analyzing the shit out of fandoms I like, (im a history/polysci major ((with an emphasis on Peace Justice and & Conflict Studies)) all i do is analyze and try to be diplomatic lmao) but considering all they petty drama between both ships as well as pro/anti Daenerys stans ON BOTH SIDES I’m going to be “That Person” and at least ask for people to be respectful/civil, I want to hear from everyone and their metas/what they think which is why i tagged like, all the tags, no matter if you love her/the ship or cant stand it, as long as everyone can keep civil So firstly I’ve loved Dany both books and show from the beginning. She’s gorgeous, wants to be the best person she can be, and her hair/fashion style game is always ON POINT. That being said, somewhere around season 5 i think i’ve found my opinion on her cooling a little bit, ep after ep, till now. Like I still like her bc she was my first character love on the show but I’ve def soured in my opinion on her. Maybe it’s because I love learning about the subject that im more baised (im hoping thats the case) but she just seemed to have no interest in actual governance, just the reputation (esp of being the ‘rebel queen’)/the awe/the power/the thrill of the adoration that went along with it to the point where I feel like though she still wants to be a ‘good queen’ or at least wants to be seen that way, she doesnt want to do much work for the title. Like yeah she freed all the slaves and that was a def progressive and awesome move on her part (major props! slavery is sin and im glad someone recognized that who had the power to do something about it) but she didnt handle that aftermath or ensuing problems well at all nor really mulled heavily on the subject to find the best solution. She just got fustrated with pretty basic/common (albeit complex in themselves) issues of standard governance and kind of went agh! fuck this! (obv not actual quotes but that was the vibe I got). And then ESPECIALLY after season 7 her character has kind of nagged at me in the back of brain which i hate but its inherent like its just a feeling i cant help it?? I just dont know why to be honest that Im feeling so negative towards this character i used to love. The whole ‘ bEnD thE knEe ‘ thing w/ Jon and yet pinning it on Jon’s pride not equally on his and her own was more than a little hypocritical, when hon they can discuss it later like at that point they have two common enemies the WW and Cersei they both want to do away with, and then again with the Bend the Knee or Die bit w/ the Lannister soldiers. In fact the whole sequence before that point felt kind of villinous I dearsay, I mean deliberately burning the harvest that most of westeros needs for the winter or even strategically not willing to try, and well, nOOt intentionally burn the food considering its winter, the harvest is over (so likely not much is gonna grow in the time being) when she has a G I A N T ass army of her own to think of feeding???? Like i get it is war shit happens soldiers die but the F O O D ? Was that an impuslive in the moment mistake or did she just not give a fuck? And back to the aftermath scene/Bend the Knee 2.0, her speech was again quite hypocritical...and burning dickon?????? not willing to keep prisoners???? either bend or die??? I actually am glad she did away with Papa Tarly bc he was an awful human, but dickon????? a young idealistic man about to loose his father??? the heir to a major ally/house???? And honestly that bend or die strategy is soooooo dumb bc now she cant trust any of them like theyre only bending the knee out of self preservation homie, no one wants to die. they bend the knee to survive and now they all of the sudden think youre their queen? Nah fam, prisoners were better, all you got are spies in your camps or people willing to backstab you at the smallest promise of coin. And i dont want that for my girl

IDK the whole “im gonna BREAK THE WHEEL,,,,,,,,yet im stating my claim mainly on my housename (aka the predominant force of said wheel for a literal dynasty) and the fact that i can scare people who otherwise are unconvinced bc lets be real westeros has had a bad run of rulers a lot of which were Targs in the past couple decades, into submission bc ill burn you otherwise???” doesnt sit well with me nor does it feel like the character ive been rooting for the past five-ish seasons. She just doesnt seem to put into effort on understanding Westeros, why things go wrong, being self-critical or sharing the blame,thinking on what a “good” ruler would do.... anyone else feeling this way and if so do you think this is just shitty writing? D&D butchering her character? or a new arc for her? perhaps the way shes always been? She just seems like a tantruming child bratty and entitled idk (a beautiful child but still) As for jonerys...... im not gonna go into it much but how are other shippers happy????????? I honestly dont understand. I was SO looking forward to this season/this ship. like so much! But it felt so forced? And i know a lot of people claim its cause its rushed but tbh we’ve had a lot of romances in a similar time frame that felt like A C T U A L romances.....even Talisa/Robb who the Northerners will prob compare any of this too were so much better. THIS WAS MY EPIC SHIP DUDE. I feel the dany side of things (took a while but theres def heart eyes) and yet Jon???? He felt hollow. Still does even after sex. Im so disapointed but more than that I cant see the romance or the chemistry. He looks constipated. Hes never smiled like with his teeth around her the way hes done w others he cares deepily about (ygritte, toramund, sansa, even fkin gendry in the first scene they had together). He never reveals anything about himself. And between the “my queen” ep (and remember he was look warm when discussing her to toramund throughout it) and the previous the only thing that changed was that he saw the actual difference dragons made against WW. You could argue she saved them all too but that doesnt make you fall in love w someone out of the blue and also people have saved his ass before and??? Sansa w the vale anyone??? (Not an argument for jonsa js its happened) (though ill admit ive transitioned to loathing jonerys and loving jonsa more as a potential couple in the space of seven eps where if you asked me I wouldve been like PSH u cray. I never thought it would happen in a mill years but D&D ruined my ship and here i am! Shipping aside tho since its best too look at these things as neutral as possible). Anyways the sigh of his after she left and when he pretended to be asleep.... idk. The only scene that felt genuine and where Jon smiled and it didnt look like a full on grimace and they actually kinda joked around was really nice and at the pit at the finale and if they do a LOT more of basic romance stuff like that I could ship it again but. It was followed by boatsex and boy. I was hoping boatsex might rekindle my like for the two together. I could see the chemistry the passion. I was hoping the passion would overwhelm me and make up for the rest. But instead......like there was no foreplay, it lasted 2 seconds, and it was overplayed by brans voice and a reminder of future conflict or at the very least major angst b/w the two. i didnt see the parallel between regear and lyanna playing alongside their scene as anything romantic or that it should be taken as such. and the look they shared.... I was hoping jon would bring it bc Dany’s look in her eyes is like soooo smitten and adorable and say what you will I still have a space in my heart for her and still dont want her to suffer, but again Jon looks like oh shit/constipated. And not in a good oh shit way either. There is a bunch more too but Imma stop there bc Im just tired at this point. So many things were just....off this season. And it cant all be blamed on the “rushed” time frame. I’ve read the undercover lover theory and hon it makes the most sense (not perfect sense but still, more than what we’ve been poorly spoon fed) but im not willing to believe it just yet. Still, maybe D&D are just butchering a lot of things like making the romance believable and stuff for the sake of time that could be true i guess. But they like to go AHA GOT U so Idk I dont find a lot of meta in the jonerys tag bc honestly (((((i think its bc the tag and ship are more popular and theirs more people both good and bad)))) it doesnt seem like snowballing theories is something all fans take really well in the tag at all. But whatever. I really want to know, is there any meta or theories im missing to either validate the icky feeling Im haveing about D or her “romance” or on the flipside anything that might make me change my mind about it? Theories, meta people! I just want to reiderate im not trying to hate on anyone or any point of view and I will flag any comment anti one ship or person or another if its plain hateful or rude. I just want to understand it and see what Im missing, esp because of how much I was looking forward to her arc and jonerys’ dynamic and how much the words “falling short” dont seem to cover it. And to see if im not the only one to either have critique on the ship or her character [or even actually change ships] Also i apologize for how much ive said “IDK” i just..... I DONT KNOW

#this was way longer and is so rantish but #i might delete this later #depending on if i get hate for 'daring' to be critical #for now tho help a girl out? tel me your opinion? thx #jonsa #anti-jonsa #anti-jonerys #daenerys targaryen #anti-daenerys #plz be nice to eachother or just dont interact at all i just like knowing every side of things #and i feel like theres a side im missing or something im missing #i have a lot of feelings

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j-t-k-moved · 7 years

Photo

I decided to redo my Trollsona cause there's stuff I wanted to add and fix. I also added more detail (as best as I could) and more stuff to describe my personality better.

Warning: Long ass post ahead.

Name: Scmare Ttieer [Seh-mare Tear] (Origin of name is unknown)

Age: 7.85 Alternian Sweeps [17 Human Earth Years]

Gender: Bigender [She/Her/He/Him]

Status: Alive

Blood Colour: Sapphire (Blue Blood, Landdweller)

Lusus: I don't fully know what it is. It's a strange creature that doesn't resemble any Alternian creatures. [See Picture: 7]

Theme: Space

Symbol: [See picture: 9]

Weapon: Double Ended Scythe [See picture: 8] (Weapon is around 4 feet long, rarely ever used)

Power: Aura reading, The ability to perceive energy fields surrounding people, places and things. If I focus hard enough on person/object I can see colours surrounding their body. These colours can mean multiple things, from how they’re feeling to if that person is inherently evil or good.

Typing Quirk: Capitalizes letters that are in my first name (Except when actually typing my name). When useing the word 'neutral' I cap the whole thing. Uses & in place of the word 'and'

Speaking Quirk: Very quiet around people I don't know or when I'm feeling negative emotions. Very loud when around people I'm comfortable with or when feeling positive emotions.

Troll Tag: dysfunctionalCosmos

Quote: "id rather StAy NEUTRAL on thE SituAtion. lEss ChAnCE of a ConfRontAtion."

Hive: A very simple Hive, even if a bit futuristic looking. Made of a white metal, the whole hive in a circular shape. An observatory located right in the middle of the building on the roof. Used for my interest in studying space. Doors open by touching a surface near them (like touch screen)

Respiteblock: Messy room with clothes and tools on the floor. Posters of movies and videogames on the walls, along with some of my shitty drawings. Husktop located on a desk in the back of the room. Recuperacoon is located in a far right corner by a window.

Interests: Fiduspawn, Singing, Reading, Drawing, Crafting, Astronomy, Video Games, Cooking and Dancing

Dislikes: Confrontation, Needles, Large groups of people, Loud noises, Heights, Myself

Bad Habits: Biting my lip until it bleeds, Chewing on matches, Biting my nails,

Hemoloyalty: I do not treat trolls of lower blood caste any different than I would treat a troll of a high blood caste. Though, I do understand my place on the hemospectrum and that unless I want to get culled I need to show some amount of respect to highbloods. Describes it as being neutral, even though I don't approve of the way low bloods are viewed.

Clothing: Black tank top coated in small white specs representing stars, my symbol located on the front of my shirt. Sapphire blue button up short sleeve shirt (usually unbuttoned). Black mid-thigh shorts with ankle high black boots.

Hair: Short thick black hair [See Picture: 6]

Horns: (Horns are 1 foot long) [See Picture: 2]

Teeth/Mouth: [See Picture: 3] Bottom fangs are long and poke out a bit

Eyes: Not fully my blood colour yet [See Picture: 5]

Ears: [See Picture: 4]

Skin: Pale grey [See Picture: 4]

Face: Round in shape. Scar across the bridge of my nose. Square thick glasses covering my eyes. Only make up being some black eye liner. [See Picture: 5]

Body: Chubby, thicker for my height. Around 198 pounds. No tattoos or other body modifications.

Mutations: None

Height: 5'6 [Not including horns]

Ancestor: Anwara Tteeir

Dancestor: Urania Ttieer

Quadrants: [Self insert shipping list for me]

God Tier: Rogue Of Life

=============================================================

Skills:

Knowledge: 7/10 Conceptualization Power: 6/10 Motivation: 4/10 Will to Act: 4/10 Agility: 2/10 Power Control: 10/10 Swordsmanship: 7/10 Hand-to-Hand Combat: 5/10 Long Range Accuracy: 0/10 Offense: 5/10 Defense: 5/10 Social Skills: 3/10

=============================================================Basic Personality Questions: Link To The Questions

1. Are you a leader or a follower?

i'M MoRE of A followER. i don't SEE MySElf AS A good lEAdER.

2. What's your faveourite colour?

dARk bluE & REd

3. Are you more intoverted or extroverted?

ExtRovERtEd. vERy ExtRovERtEd.

4. Do you tend to argue or avoid conflict?

i Avoid ConfliCt MoRE oftEn thAn not, but At tiMES i gEt into SMAll ARguMEntS.

5. Are you a listener or a talker?

liStEnER. i ENjoy liStEnEing to pEoplE tAlk moRE thAn ACtuAlly tAlking MySElf.

6. How long is you attention span

it dEpEndS on whAt i'M doing. if itS SomEthing i likE i'll foCuS on it moRE but if i dont likE it i tEnd to loSE intERESt vERy EASy.

7. Do you laugh a lot? What's funny to you?

itS vERy EASy to MAkE ME lAugh so yEs & A lot of thingS ARE funny to ME. My SEnSE of humoR iS wERid...

8. Are you more Athletic, Artistic, or Intellectual?

i would hAvE to SAy ArtiStiC.

9. What would you do if someone attacked you for no reason?

wEll i would bE foRCEd to dEfEnd MySElf thEn. i would MAkE A AttEMpt to rEAson with thEM but thAt doESn't AlwAyS woRk.

10 . Any fears?

A fEw likE, nEEdlES and A SmAll fEAR of thE dARk.

11. What would happen if your greatest fear manifested itself?

i....honEStly wouldn't know how to dEAl with it.

12. Do you make desicions based on emotions or logic?

i hAtE to AdMit it but EmotionS SEEM to ContRol A lot of whAt i do.

=============================================================

Backstory Questions:

1. What is your earliest memory?

My EARliESt MEMoRy wAS whEn i wAS ChoSEn by My luSuS AS A gRub.

2. Embarrasing Story - Go!

i oNCE tRiEd to intRoduCE MySElf to AnothER tRoll whEn i wAS youngER but i tRippEd ovER My own fEEt & lAndEd fACE fiRSt in fRont of thEm...

3. Tell the story of a scar you have

thE SCAR on My noSE cAME fRoM thE fiRSt Robot i EvER built. it wAS vERy AgRESSivE & punChEd ME So hARd in thE noSE thAt it MAdE A lARgE gASh. i wAS Still pRoud of My CREAtion though.

4. Has someone close to you died?

no onE CloSE to ME hAS diEd yEt, thAnkfully

5. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

i CAn't think of Anything vERy iMpoRtAnt thAt hAS hAppEnEd to ME yEt. i dont think i'vE livEd long Enough. ==============================================

Opinion and Interest Questions:

1. How do you feel about where you stand on the Hemospectrum?

honEStly i wiSh i Could foRm A bEttER opinion on it & ChooSE A SidE.

2. When you look at somone, how much does their blood colour have to do with your opionion of them?

it hAS no AffECt on whAt i think of thE pERSon. i judgE by ACtionS.

3. Do you like to read? If so, what genre?

i likE to REAd SomEtiMES. fAntASy iS MAinly whAt i go foR but MyStERy iS prEtty good too.

4. What about TV/Moives. What genre do you like?

i dont whAtCh MoivES or tv ShowS offtEn but whEn i do i go foR hoRRoR & RomAnCES

5. Do you believe in magic?

yES i do! i'vE SEEn MAgiC bEFoRE

6. What is your greatest fear?

thAt EvERyonE i CARE About will lEAvE ME...

7. How religious are you?

not vERy, i CAn't pRovE or diSpRovE Any REligionS so i pREfER to StAy NEUTRAL About it.

8. Do you believe in soulmates/true love?

yES i bEliEvE EvERyonE hAS A SoulMAtE, EvEn thE woRST of pEoplE.

9. What would you die (or otherwise go to extremes) for?

pEoplE i CARE About.

10. What do you believe makes a successful life?

wEll....living it thE wAy you wAnt to i SuppoSE.

11. Would you rather talk to someone over Trollian or face to face?

tRolliAN, it'S MuCh EASiER bECAuSE you hAvE MoRE timE to think About whAt you ARE sAying & thERES lESS StRESS.

12. Do you know how to dance?

i likE to dAnCE but i wouldn't SAy i know how to SinCE i'M not good At it.

13. What type of music do you like?

i don't hAvE A fAvouRitE typE, i likE All kindS of MuSiC.

14. Hobbies?

wRiting, dAnCing, CRAFting...And SoMEtiMES i Sing.

15. What's your most treasured possession? Why?

i hAvE thESE bluE & SilvER MEtAL bRAClEtS i wEAR, i liKE the jingling Sound thEy MAkE.

=============================================================

A day in the life of Scmare Ttieer

1. You've got nothing to do. Who do you talk to?

pRobAbly My MoiRAil, oR SoMEonE ElSE CloSE to ME.

2. The sun is already high in the sky and you're still awake. What do you do to entertain yourself?

thiS hAppEnS A lot ACtuAlly, i uSuAlly plAy A vidEo gAME to pASS tiME.

3. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

i wAkE up, wASh off, tRAin A bit thEn juSt pASS tiME by doing ACtiviES i likE. & it dEpEndS on whAt thE diSRuption iS.

4. Would you leap at the call to adventure, or would you have to be dragged along?

dRAggEd. advEntuRE iSn't My thing.

5. It's raining and the power is out, how do you spend the day?

i would REAd oR woRk on SoME CRAfting pRojECtS. MAybE pRACtiCE dRAwing.

6. Favourite food?

i'M vERy fond of thE huMAn food, MAShEd potAtoES

=============================================================

Self Image Questions:

1. What is your greatest strength?

My ACtuAl StREngth. oR MAybE how i CAn SEE thE bRight SidE of thingS.

2. Greatest Weakness

how Shy i CAn bE.

3. What three words would you use to best describe your personality?

Shy, NEUTRAL, kind?

4. Do you think you're attractive?

not REAlly no

5. Name two things you like about yourself. Two things you don't?

i likE My EyES & My hAiR, but i diSlikE My body & how Shy i CAn bE.

=============================================================

Backstory: Link to backstory cause this post doesn't need to be longer

#homestuck #trollsona #scmare ttieer

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topbeautifulwomens · 5 years

Text

#Women, #Painting #and #Power #brunettebabes #challenge #drawing #dressyourface #fashionistas #lifestyle #makeupartist #sky #views #women

I am standing in my studio, observeing ten women portray in silence with beautiful consideration and focus, and the calories is just buzzing. All of a unexpected I hear a groan from one of the women and the phrases “Oh no, I hate it. It truly is so unsightly”. I smile, truly sensation a feeling of wonderful reduction and dread.

Aid given that an additional woman has just blindly stumbled into her gateway to imaginative flexibility. Worry because I know the resistance and arguments I am likely to be coming up once morest as I try to converse her out of get rid ofing what she deems ugly and to even to commence to take the radical phase of accepting what she has produced with desire and comenthusiasm. I incorporate to be quick here because women are practically nothing if not stealthy and cunning and will squander tiny time in eradicating the proof of what they consider unengaging art.

Here is a class in what is known as intuitive painting or procedure painting. The purpose of this kind of painting is to understand to checkpay attention deeply to your self and to then bravely express what you uncover,with no censoring anything,in a spirit of spontaneity, surrendering to the creative process.It’s very various from typical art groups exactly where the principal focus is on developing system and finishing up with a satisfying product. This variety of class utilizes art and painting as a way to get a lot more in contact with the interior globe of soul and psyche. The focus is solely on checking out and expressing that internal process.

This road is difficult for most women, because even though a lot of of us have carried out some kind of self evaluation and discover the worth inherent in that research, we’re nonetheless combating an uphill struggle towards a very strong cultural bias that teversure us to place the greatest value on what is outdoors of us. We’re taught that ideas and an inner daily life are wonderful as far as they go, but what is truly worthwhilst is how we look, what we own, who we know, and where we find ourselves on the financial and reputation hierarchy.

The mysterious stirrings of our soul, the needs of our coronary hearts, the messages from our bodies,and the genius of our instinct, are STILL, even following all of the battles for liberation that we’ve fought, denigrated and deemed trivial and uncrucial, unrealistic and immature. But in the world of the process arts the realm of psyche and desires, creativeness and feelings are staunchly defended as sacrosanct and even given middle stage.

The women in my painting class know the policies of intuitive painting, one of which is that they’re not to destroy anything or cover up what they’ve done just because they never like it or have a negative response to it. They know what they are attempting here is an follow in radical self acceptance which implies embracing almost everything that comes out of them specifically if it tends to make them not comfortable because there is certainly “gprevious in them thar hills” of the psyche that they can mine to great advantage if they are just inclined to stay with the soreness. But the urge to disavow the abomination of a perceived ugly painting by making it vanish can be complicated.

There are 4 words in the English language that remember to never use in reference to a western twenty first century woman if you don’t want to get your tooth knocked out. These four little words are ugly, excess weight, bitch and egocentric.

Every of these four words covers an difficulty of great relevance for a woman, and what they all have in familiar is that they are keys to unlocking the door to our forbidden feminine drive. And one thing you can rely on is that each of these four difficulties will show up at some point if a woman severely provides herself over to making her own art. That’s one cause that women typically shy absent from the creative process.

These words have very negative connotations for a woman and have been used to denigrate and manage us for a very long time.The demand about them is so intensive that as before long as we hear them we toss up our arms, recoil into a place of disgrace, near our eyes and back away from them as if they have been Kryptonite and we were Tremendous Lady. Since we are hesitant to be curious and discover them, we never get to see that in truth these four words explain very positive characteristics and archetypal energies that we determinedly need if we’ll be complete, whole, actualized and resultive feminine creators of our own life.

A single of the hugegest internal obstructions to reclaiming our power is a potent archetype at function in most women’s psyches that can be referred to as the Interior Very good Girl. The Good Girl lives for acceptance and she garners that approval by being women small and risk-free and non-threatening. She is not intesnoozeed in increasing up and is content material to remain forever youthful. Eventually, she is the one that retains a woman from getting able to develop and prosper as an individual who is strong and potent,gutsy and able of having authority over her own life. And the Good Girl never desires to threat being fat, selfish, ugly or bitchy.

If a woman takes her creative life seriously, if she makes a motivation to herself and devotes herself to her creative work, she will eventually reach a crossroads where she has to confront the Inner Good Girl and the list of Good Girl rules if she wants to proceed making with passion and authenticity.

We all know what individuals rules are.Smile, smile, smile, be candy and great, never get nuts (or even discouraged),look fairly (which of course involves being thin), odor good, be new and neat and altechniques be pleasing and accommodating. Will not be loud and stay in the background. What you consider or feel is not really all that important. Don’t upset anybody. And never, ever make another man or woman uncomfortable. In the Good Girl world idealion is an attainable purpose and you need to work relentlessly, tirelessly, exhaustively, to be the absolute greatest mom, daughter, spouse and friend you can be, all the while berating yourself because you inexplicably and frequently drop short of the mark.

As soon as a woman starts her creative life she delivers these exact same attitudes and expectations to her art. She only allows herself to paint pretty paintings that are perfect in every way. Paintings that are nice and make men and women smile. She is unwilling to risk disturbing or intense shade or imagery; nothing that’s as well strong or stands out excessive. But painting in this way eventually departs her feeling bored and stifled. Fairly can be wonderful as part of a increased repertoire, but if it truly is all you happen to be permitted to do it eventually turns into either a noose and a cage.

At a sure point in her creative process a woman needs to be willing to ditch the Good Girl by spliting the Good Girl rules. But breaking those rules qualified prospects a woman into the territory of the sexperiencedow side of the Good Girl, the dreaded yet fascinating BAD GIRL!

The Very poor Girl is alive and well in most women’s psyches and is the part of us who is ill and fatigued of the long list of restrictions that hem in her wild and juicy self. She is feisty and daring, complete of audacity and unconcerned to go for what she wants. She is adventurous and courageous, and loves the buzz that comes with taking positive life-affirming pitfalls.

But our dating to her has a strong shame and shadow element so she often gets expressed in way’s that end up hurting us. She is the one who eats the whole container of the mint chocolate chip ice product in one sitting down, who isn’t going to return essential mobile phone calls to irritating loved ones members, who spends funds that she doesn’t have on cgood dealhes or footwear, and who has inappropriate interactions with men or women that usually are not good for her.What I am presenting here is a way to reclaim the Bad Girl energy, by means of painting, that is affirming and positive. To recognize that what we have been contacting undesirable are disowned elements of ourselves that need to be introduced back house.

THE SELFISH GIRL: Unafraid of putting herself very first, of being needy and happy of it, of nurturing herself, of preserving her own energy, of filling her own well, willing to have boundaries, making her own self care her first precedence, willing to be her own good mother, willing to take time just for herself, willing to confront and confused her guilt relating to managing herself.

This is the first Bad Girl to show up when a woman initiatives to have a practical creative life, and the first one I see when a woman wanders in the door of my studio to show up at a painting class. I hear over and over again from these women how much they have misplaced by themselves in taking care of every person else. How tired they are of putting everyone else’s needs first and that they have come to this class because they want to do one thing that has no visual reward to anyone else.

For a woman to be creative she needs to be willing to take time just for herself. She needs uninterrupted classes when she is able to enter her studio, sit down at her pc or her easel, and see what wants to come. She needs to let herself get dreamy, do nothing, stare out the window, and be apparently unproductive. All through these interludes in which she drops into a creative trance she is inviting the muse to enter her and inviting the often magic formula and mysterious motion of her soul to express alone.

In these moments, she starts to face herself through her art. She is able to get tranquil ample so that she can listen deeply and start to inquire some essential concerns this kind of as “What do I think? What do I like? What do I really want? What moves me, brings me satisfaction, makes me feel alive.?” It is a me, myself and I time, a time that needs to be dealt with as sacred and inviolable in purchase to allow those creative juices to flow unimpeded and to eventually turn into a raging, dashing river.

Nonetheless, it’s usually not long before the telephone rings or someone faucets (or somemoments lbs ) on the studio door with the cry of “I need you! And I need you RIGHT NOW!” It could be a friend, a little one, a mother a partner, a work duty, or a pipe that has just sprung a leak. Abruptly, somebody else’s needs become more important than her need to be creative, and the woman is confronted with the eternal woman question.” Do I once again close the door to my studio and turn my back on the needs of my own soul? Do I once again prove how reputable, dutiful, comintimate , caring, self sacrificing, accessible, loving, guilty I am, at the horrible price of my own creative self? Understanding that I’ve the small, and getting more compact consolation of being able to say “Nicely at minimum no person is going to be able to call me selfish!”

THE UGLY GIRL: Willing to buck the tide, to be her own distinct self, to not often conform , to step away from the need for approval, to be willing to risk censure, to step outside of the box of what is appropriate as a woman in this tradition, willing to be bizarre, different, unique, outrageous, bold.

The most common lament or prefer that I hear from my women painting student’s is “But I just want my painting to be lovely.”

For most women, cosmetic is a need, a deep irrational starvation, and an subconscious compulsion. Our id with the need to be beautiful is so great and so ingrained that we hardly, if ever, question it. Attractiveness is the key to the magic kingdom of well- being, contentment and achievement. It is the resource of our value, the make sure of love, our only valid access to power, and on a very deep stage has intended survival itself. Due to the fact so much is at stake, the tension a woman feels to be beautiful and to create something beautiful is substantial.

Our whole relationship to beauty displays up painfully and certainly in the painting process. Even though she is painting, there is always some beauty classic- whether or not she understands it or not- that a woman is striving to live up to. Possibly the ideal is of a painting that is neat and flawless where no errors or messiness, no drips or uneven lines are allowed. Or the idealized eyesight may be one of a painting that is well balanced and symmetrical, a paragon of magnificence, grace, and impeccable good style. In this model of perfection, all the hues should in shape, and can only be in the variety of muted pastels with the total effect being comforting and helpful, like a well put with each other design in a home and yard journal.

What ever the ideal, the energy put into attaining it is relentless. When I watch a woman paint I am always stunned by the passion she has for endlessly fussing over and repairing her paintings. Spontaneity is out of the question. She just takes it for granted that her painting must be well notion out, prepared, and arranged , and under as much of her control as is humanly possible. She is used to not trusting in her own innate beauty, and expects that the quest for beauty will require nonquit work. She never questions the ceaseless dieting and exercise, the several hours invested purchasing for just the appropriate outfit and the stressing over her pores and skin, her hair, her nails. She always has and always will are unsuccessful of the beauty mark and just assumes that beauty is something she will constantly struggle for and rarely, if ever, gain.

The really unfortunate thing is that she sees nothing improper with this fretful and nervous approach to her self and to her ar2rk.This ceaseless and ultimately hopeless striving for the extremely hard ideal is just the norm. It’s really the only thing she has ever known.

These slender constraints of beauty that a woman finds herself tangled in are always some variation on the Good Girl creed. These socially recognized specifications are primarily based on a definition of beauty that is associated to being nice and non threatening, to not standing out too much and conforming to an set norm that is pleasant but not effective. Beauty is related to compliance and convention, to subsequent the rules and to fitting in. The Good Girl beauty ideal means that it’s not OK to just be herself, warts and all. She needs to clean herself up and make herself acceptable.

When a woman is painting, the Unsightly Girl often sneaks in as a mistake or imperfection, a smear or a smudge, something messy or uncontrolled.When the woman attempts to clean up the mess, she finds with increasing horror that the clutter only carries on to grow. She is constantly having specialized calamities. The paint drips or operates, she are not able to control her brush, chaos reigns, and it seems like there is nothing she can do to make it stop.

She is desperate to regain to pretty. In jeopardizing spontaneity, she has located, to her horror, that she has created something that appears severe or loud or imperfect. Or,even even worse, something grotesque or malformed. She busyally tries painting more safe photography, more bouquets, rainbows, calm surroundings . But the flowers develop sharp edges and darkish colors and grow absolutely out of control , the rainbow colors become wildly fluorescent , and the landscapes becomes populated with darkly mysterious designs and statistics .

At this point she has stepped out of the confines of charming and attractive, and into an unidentified landscape of the wild, the untamed the unkempt and matted. This is often the start of a relationship to the inner Sensible Aged Feminine archetype, also known as the Witch. This is the face of the deep feminine that doesn’t care about appearances . After all, the Witch walks around with missing teeth and warts, and clearly doesn’t care what other individuals think. This is an awakening of the factor of a woman’s soul who is no lengthier a slave to approval and who has started to walk down the long road away from woman as product and commodity.

THE FAT GIRL: Willing to be big, be visible, to come out of hiding, to be a woman and not a little lady, to take in space, to be hungry, to say what she wants, to know what she wants, to be full of herself, to be too big for her britches, to be a full grownup, unafraid to say yes! A fat girl isn’t really afraid to take up space and to take her place in the world.

In my studio I offer high top quality paper that is of ample size, but pupils can tape the sheets together to make even larger paintings. It’s a heady time when a woman can let herself distribute out and take up some real space,when she can make a HUGE painting, one that can occasionally cover an entire wall.

Making a huge painting is a dizzying and terrifying prospect, and a woman often needs heaps of encouragement and authorization to take this step. Actually I usually need to nudge her a little. She will start with stating something about MAYBE desiring to go a little larger with her work. She feels something pushing on her, seeking to come through, and so she will ask if it’s OK to use two items of paper alternatively of one. I generously offer to get the paper for her but come back with four pieces of paper, instead of the requested for two. Irrespective how “nice” she is, at this point she is more than willing to make a fuss, to strenuously object about how it’s too much, she could never fill up that much paper, she doesn’t have enough to express, she could not possibly take up that much area in the studio.

But as I continue to calmly pin the four pieces to the easel, nodding supportively, yet disregarding her progressively frantic protestations, I see the gleam in her eye. She wants this possibility to take up space, to proclaim herself in residing color, to be unmistakably considered, but is qualified to not give voice to this desire. I watch her as she struggles with the forbidden excitement of the obstacle, the possibility, the sheer daring of it. The door to a secret longing is creaking open up on long unused and rusted hinges, opening to her hunger to be big, to be bold, to be outrageous, to be visible as completely and completely herself.

THE BITCHY GIRL: Willing to be intense and powerful; unafraid of her own anger, unafraid to discuss up, to take a stand, to have limits and boundaries, unafraid to say NO! Unafraid to battle abuse, refuses to be treated terribly, willing to break connections and walk away from poisonous relationships if it means protective your own wild and valuable self.

An additional major crossroads takes place in the painting process when a woman realizes how offended and enraged she feels and she lets herself express it on paper for everyone to see. However, the feeling of anger is so taboo and so threatening that it’ll usually sneak in the back door as just a little color. Some red or black appears on the internet page and then little by little or by “incident” grows larger than the woman had intended .

As this continues , the artist begins to feel a little uncomfortable. She will stand back from her now unruly painting with a wondered frown and turn to me , saying something like ” That seems awfully angry,” adopted briefly by, “You know, I’m not really angry. I don’t get angry. A little depressed possibly, but never angry.” This is a very precarious moment in the process. I have had women truthfully walk out of the room to get away from this intimation of anger, wear their coat and announce that they really must leave now. I am typically able to coax her back to the painting for the rest of the class, but once she leaves I’ll often never see her again. The real truth of her own angry feelings is just too frightening, the prohibitions too strong, and all I can do at this point is hope for her that sometime she will be able to feel safe enough to take that deep plunge into her own passionate and furious heart .

For the woman who is geared up to take that terrifying yet interesting dive, admitting that she is indeed angry can allow an incredible depth of feeling to come flooding out. All the yrs of saying yes, yes, yes when she needed to say no, no, NO to unreasonable needs, to abuse, to putting her own needs on a perpetual back burner, come out on the paper in a frenzy of paint , of color, and of image.

For one woman it comes out as a brilliant red background, with black words painted effortlessly and starkly to read “I AM SO PISSED OFF!'”. For another , it is a large image of a woman with wildly traveling red hair, bellowing open mouthed and brazen ” What the $#%@ about me!!!”

A sixty year old woman, who has been married to a Methodist preacher for forty several years, surprises herself by painting a warrior goddess in very hot trousers, with a Colt forty five in one hand and a cake spatula (to be used as a whacking weapon when necessary) in the other.

The paintings sometimes represent images that are recognizable out of fantasy, including a snake haired Medusa, and sometimes are expressed as a whirl of color and chaos, populated by weird, otherworldly creatures putting on very large, VERY sharp teeth. But what they all have in common is that they bounce off the page with the ferocity of emotion portrayed. There’s no mistaking the intent powering these paintings which is some version of ” I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it any longer!”

I RECENTLY READ an article in a promoting journal that was caution advertisers away from utilizing the words power or powerful in ads directed in direction of women. The creator of this article wasn’t asking yourself the issue of women’s fret around power, just stating an obvious ( to him) fact that women will not likely buy products that are associated with the language of power.

We’ve a long historical past as women around being disempowered and victimized, and we have internalized this fear of power, of our own power, for way too long. We are living in times of great exchange and uncertainty and it is critical that we reclaim our birthright of power, authority and creative vision to take advantage of the opportunity that we have to recreate the world as a place where our most treasured values can endure.

There are many ways to face and to treatment this power wound, and impending it through our creativity is just one of them. But it’s a good place to start. As my women student’s and I have realized over many years, it’s fairly possible to experience courage, transformation and self love by wielding the firm end of a paintbrush. And breaking our long allegiance to the Good Girl and making it possible for the Bad Girl an commemorated place in our lives is not only therapeutic, but makes life a lot more fascinating and fun!

The post Women, Painting and Power appeared first on Beautiful Women.

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jeromechill1 · 6 years

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Don’t confuse “statistical significance” with “importance”

This is the twenty-ninth blog in a series of 36 blogs based on a list of ‘Key Concepts’. Each blog will explain one Key Concept that we need to understand to be able to assess treatment claims.

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When we read the word significant, flashing lights and sirens go off in our minds. We should care about this, we think. Synonyms such as ‘important’, ‘meaningful’, and ‘powerful’ quickly come to mind. Unfortunately, this otherwise innocent looking word has caused a significant amount of trouble in scientific circles, as its use (and abuse) in the context of interpreting results has forever coupled the word with the concept of statistical hypothesis testing (think p-values and see the previous Key Concept blog: ‘Confidence Intervals should be reported‘).

Let’s break it down…

As we discussed in the previous key concept blog, arbitrary cut-offs or ‘levels of significance’ are established by researchers, ideally before starting their work, to later determine whether their results are ‘statistically significant’. The most commonly used threshold in research is 5% (or p<0.05). The interpretation of results using this method is quite straightforward.

For example…

If the p-value corresponding to the difference in mean weight between two groups of participants is less than this threshold (e.g. p=0.03), then we can reject the null hypothesis (i.e. that no difference exists between the comparison groups) and our result is deemed ‘statistically significant’. If the p-value is above the threshold (e.g. p=0.10), we cannot reject the null and our result is ‘not statistically significant’. This procedure is known as statistical hypothesis testing.

I want to emphasize that this p<0.05 cutoff is entirely arbitrary and there is nothing inherently special about it. It is clear that p=0.04999 and p=0.05001 are essentially the same thing, and yet the former allows you to use the magic words ‘statistically significant’ to describe your results and the latter does not. Sometimes, results that do not meet this threshold are never published because they are deemed ‘uninteresting’ or ‘unimportant’ and this has led to publication bias and p-hacking [1,2].

But what is the actual difference in mean weight between the two groups of participants? Neither the p-values nor the dichotomous (yes/no) statements regarding ‘statistical significance’ give us any quantitative information about that. And this is exactly the problem: p-values only tell us something about how likely we would obtain the same study results simply due to chance. We know nothing about the actual point estimate (here, mean weight difference) in which we are actually interested.

Say we find that the difference in mean weight between the two groups to be 0.1kg and we find this difference is statistically significant (p=0.03). This means the average weight in group 1 is different than the average weight in group 2 and that this little discrepancy is probably not due to chance (based on the p-value). Even though this result is statistically significant, is it really meaningful?

The answer to that question entirely depends on the context and is up for interpretation. If we are running a randomized controlled trial with adult participants, a difference of 0.1kg in mean weight between the two groups is probably not important, even though it is ‘statistically significant’. However, we would certainly feel differently if we used a different group of participants; 0.1kg would be a much more meaningful difference in two groups of neonatal infants, for example.

When we increase the number of outcomes, we become more precise in our estimation of the true difference. In other words, we become more confident that our results are not just due to chance. Theoretically, if there are sufficient outcome events, even the most minuscule, meaningless differences can become statistically significant. On the other hand, an over-reliance on statistical significance can lead us to overlook important results or falsely classify uncertain results as negative ones. Because of the relationship between p-value and sample size, this problem is especially prevalent in studies with fewer outcomes. For this reason, it is crucial not to confuse statistical significance with importance.

Sometimes, results that are not ‘statistically significant’ are never published because they are deemed ‘uninteresting’ or ‘unimportant’ and this has led to publication bias and p-hacking.

Let’s walk through another example to illustrate this point…

We need to decide whether a new surgical intervention is more appropriate for a cancer patient with a brain tumour compared to the standard chemotherapy treatment, based on the following hypothetical results:

Hypothetical result 1: “The new surgical intervention statistically significantly reduced the number of patient deaths compared to the current standard chemotherapy treatment (p=0.04)”

What is significant? Do the authors mean considerably fewer deaths or just statistically significant fewer deaths? It is not clear, but possibly just the latter, since the p-value is reported. Here, we don’t have any information on exactly how superior the new surgical intervention was compared to chemotherapy.

Hypothetical result 2: “The new surgical intervention statistically significantly reduced the number of patient deaths compared to the current standard chemotherapy treatment (p=0.04). After five years, there were two fewer deaths in the intervention group.”

Now the exact difference in number of deaths is provided and it is clear the word ‘significantly’ refers to statistical significance in this case, since two is not a large difference. As a reader, it is now important to contextualize these results. In an exploratory study in which each group had only 10 participants, two fewer deaths in the intervention group would be meaningful and warrant further investigation. In a large clinical trial with 1000 participants in each group, two fewer deaths, even if statistically significant, is less impressive. In this case, I would consider the two interventions more or less equal and base my treatment decision on other factors.

Hypothetical result 3: “The new surgical intervention did not statistically significantly reduce the number of patient deaths compared to the current standard chemotherapy treatment (p=0.07). After five years, there was 1 death in the surgical intervention group and 9 deaths in the standard chemotherapy group.”

This time we have a statistically non–significant result that corresponds to a seemingly large point estimate (8 fewer deaths). In this case, it appears the treatment has an important effect but perhaps the study lacks sufficient power for this difference to be statistically significant. Again, we need more information about the size of the trial to contextualize the results. To simply conclude by virtue of statistical hypothesis testing that this study shows no difference between groups would seem inappropriate.

Summary

Hopefully after considering these examples, it is clear that the word ‘significant’ in the scientific context can be rather misleading. Thankfully, there are a host of other words (‘important’, ‘meaningful’, ‘interesting’, etc.) you can use instead to draw attention to the importance of your findings without referring to this arbitrary cutoff. Furthermore, when presenting results, consider using point estimates and confidence intervals instead of relying on the misleading p-value and the dichotomous concept of hypothesis testing.

Additional resources

Testing Treatments

Click here for more resources explaining why saying that a difference is statistically significant or that it is not statistically significant can be misleading

Read the rest of the blogs in the series here

References

Masicampo EJ, Lalande DR. A peculiar prevalence of p values just below .05. The Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology. 2012;65(11):22719.

Head ML, Holman L, Lanfear R, Kahn AT, Jennions MD. The Extent and Consequences of P-Hacking in Science. PLoS Biol. 2015;13(3):e1002106.

Take home message:

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