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away-ward · 6 months

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Newcomer here and i just finished nightfall, wanted to share because i saw your fics. Unwanted confessions, and idk if you've received these kinds before: dn series made me feel old. These characters mature so fast and were so sexualised since they were young, and later on being only in their mid 20s, acting as if the world will collapse just because they dont have kids or make babies at 24. They gave me white christian religious parents trauma frfr. Their obsession of being liberal but gender roles still being so conservative put the feminism movement back to 200 years ago, i fucking hate every characters in this series except for emory, frfr. Like they can be dark romance rich billionaires and have amazing char arcs but what the fuck was that series? Dn made me believe, rich white privilege people and blonds are really THAT fucking stupid. I'd like to go to the US just to see blond white privileged americans act like rika & winter frfr.

oh, And that wuss ass "lover" guy will grayson who "claimed" to love emory scott so much (🙄) reach out to her yada yada, while fucking around with other women and having threesomes here and there so easily, it was NOT swoony or romantic. He's cheap as fuck, i hate manwhore male characters like him so fucking much. And they just excuse his shit because he was pining for emory, as if he fucking deserves her or somthing. I swear, will grayson does not deserve emory scott, but thats my unpopularopinion. if he had cared enough about emmy, he shouldve fought for her harder. Urgh, i hate weak male characters, such a turn off. All that nightfall plot happening only because he was the weakest of them, yikes. Cant believe he was only ever a man with emory, it's giving "she's only tough when a man saves her" trope, but in reverse, and oh, what does that looks like? Rika fane and winter ashby's arcs! Rika, winter and will, three dumbest characters of the series, frfr. No wonder damon liked them, theyre so similar with one another. Emory scott's patience is truly better than mine.

And Dont even get me started with alex. I hate her in noghtfall. Why did pd butcher her charcter like that? I was shocked, girl! Shocked! Not even banks and rika who treated her like shit initially got a slap, and emmy who didnt even bother got one? In a conversation thats not even about her? The fuck? Where's the girl's girl personality at? Out the window now that her love life with aydin was threathened? Wow. Worse is, they're friends (emmy alex).... i hate pd for this, they just cannot write two pretty female friends who thrive. They always make their male caharcters have amazing bonds with each other, but all fmcs had some sort of internalised misogynistic catfights. If pd can give us willdamon, they can give us rikalaex, banksemmy, alexemmy amazing female frienships alright. Pd just chose not to. And notice how all of their other books, the girls were always around men, but no amazing same-age female presence in their live? Even emmy admitted she was not familiar around woman. Like?? She had amazing relationship with her mom and grandma was compared to the rest no? Why cant we have at least this in this whole disgusting male worshipping series? Istg, there was no reason for pd to build up a powerful and empowering worldbuilding for a women like the horsemen's wives but only to make their same teachers to be men, who never had to know what it feels like to struggle as a woman, ESPECIALLY in their society in thunder bay? This happened in birthday girl, in fall away, misconduct, like??? Its a pattern atp. I hate it. If you have any book recs thathave amazing female relationship between women, please do share, i need some cleansing from all these stupid male chars.

Other than that, i guess i shouldnt have ever expected monogamy or exclusivity in relationships when it comes to pd's books too. These chars are all so overly touchy. I heard about the rikabanks bonus, and it ruined hideaway and corrupt for me. Because why is banks whole ass personality about being jealous of rika, being so caught with damon and kai, AFTER A WHOLE DECADE. does she not have a fucking hobby or go to therapy or something? Stupid as hell. And why is rika being in the centre a.fucking.gain. God, shes dull af, pd just stop! What also pisses me off even more is when people can freely kiss and touch will (like alex, winter to will in killswitch and noghtfall train scene), but god forbid emmy had the same attention or touchesfrom other men, that bitchass grayson starts to act up, as if he fought for her life or something. Fuck him honestly, atleast damon admitted he was a literal piece of shit. I hate people and chars like will because theyre so hypocritical. Never in a million years i would expect to hate will in his own book, but god damn, he really really ruined nightfall for me. Not a single redeeming quality to that fucker. He made me swore so much. I already hated him for his treatment to rika banks and winter in the previous books, and now him with emmy? And just watching emmy getting hurt again again again, not only by her world and herself, but also by will, by his own friends, and by the people associated to his world like aydin and taylor, and never standing by her side through it all? Yea. No. Fuck man, i hate will grayson so much. I wouldve given up on him by the end of the train scene, ngl.

will grayson will never be a real man to me. Like he's a wuss, my girl emory deserve better. "His only mistake was he loves too much", no his mistake was being a hypocritical self-righteous shallow privilege entitled narcissistic assaulting male whore. And Thats only the tip of the iceberg of his shitty character. Nightfall ws the biggest scam.

i honestly just wanna vent out my feelings about this book, because i just finished nightfall, and hooooo i never thought i'd hate will, man. Never thought i'd hate him like i hated michael and damon but here we are. It's always the hypocritical angelic male ones that ends up being scum like this. Oo at least kai was only whiny and hurt rika/ banks and bare in mind, kai was still fucking shit and i hate him, but god damn, will grayson really was the biggest disappointment of devils night series for me. I immediately went to tumblr to check out his tags and found your fics, and i'd like to say, i like your will only 5% more. I cannot imagine will being that good to emmy honestly, so i guess it stays as a wish fulfillment for me as a fan of emmy. I might fucking hate will, but emmy loves him so wtv. If emmy had done one wrong thing, its will grayson. i cant lie, this was shocking to me because i went into this book expecting to like will. But i only came to meet a whiny loser ass white privilege guy who never had to suffer anything other than the consequences of his and his friend's actions? Wow, not enough that we had this kind of man irl, theyre everywhere in fiction too, god! And people hate rika more? Nah, i hated rika, but never more than will grayson frfr. Theyre all so fucking dumb. And on that dumb note, whats with the chars (except for emmy) always anticipating damon? He never served? He talked shit so much, but never actually served? The fuck? At least in haunting adeline, zade meadows did what he said. Damon was just the guy thatblabbers too much, but do nothing. And even when he had plans, its always with someone else's help? Huh? Cant believe they compared zade to damon. Theyre both scums, but at least zade had creds, and then theres damon, the bland no-skills wolf-like guy.. ughhhh 🤮🤢 i hate when author tries to use shock value to hide their awful arcs, because damon torrance and rika fane were two of their mostshitty ass chars arcs written so far. Plus michael. Michael was like a standee to his friends, but thats a whole nother topic.

i honestly dont know if its fine for me to rant here since im a newbie but if you dont feel comfy, you can just delete this post, just wanted to vomit my rants yk.

Honestly, I have inadvertently cultivated a place for people to send their anonymous rants, so I guess why not? It’s fine.

To be perfectly honest, though, there’s not a lot for me to reply to.

First, thank you so much for reading my fics! And for hating them 5% less that the series. I’m going to take it as a compliment. If it wasn’t meant that way, then let me live in delusion.

Of course, the characters in my fics are a bit more idealized. I write them the way I wanted them to be, which if you read other portions of my blog, is far from what PD has given us. That’s fine, they own the characters; they can write them however they want. But I wrote something that was self-indulgent and soothed over the parts of the series that hurt the most for me, or that I felt were the most intriguing. I wrote them for me first, and posted them in case it helped anyone else. I’m happy that people enjoy them, but I know they’re not everyone’s tastes.

Second, I guess I’ll say I’m sorry about Nightfall. The sour feeling of being let down, I think, is one that most of us are familiar with here.

Ummm. I do think it’s a little weird that you’ve read multiple PD books, and even finished the DN series… especially since you were looking forward to Will. Because I hated Will for the first three books and if I weren’t curious about Emory, I wouldn’t have finished the series at all. I also find it equally weird that your first impulse after finishing a series you hate is to go to the tag of the character you hated the most? I mean, I’ve definitely clicked on hot-takes I know I’m going to disagree with and hate-read things, but it’s not my go-to.

I’m sure the Emory tag is lovely.

I haven’t read any of PDs other books, so I don’t know how they compare.

Beyond that,

I swear, will grayson does not deserve emory scott, but thats my unpopularopinion.

Maybe if you were to poll everyone who has ever read the series, that would be an unpopular opinion, but I think if you look back about six months on this blog, you’ll probably find a dozen or so messages almost exactly like this. So, around these parts, it’s not such an unpopular opinion. I think most people who message me probably feel the exact same way.

But I’ve already written essays of poorly done character analysis to defend Will, Emory, their relationship, and his relationship with others. There’s not much for me to add to that without just restating myself. I share some of the same opinions as you, and some different ones. I don’t think your thoughts and feelings are very unpopular at all.

If you have any book recs thathave amazing female relationship between women, please do share, i need some cleansing from all these stupid male chars

Unfortunately, I haven’t had a lot of time to read lately, so all of my recommendations would be old. When I do have the time, I’ve been rereading stuff.

I also don’t have KU, so I’m not familiar with the catalog. I had it at one point, specifically to read Nightfall, and afterward I started a lot of different series, but there wasn’t a lot that caught my attention. I’m sure there are a lot of KU readers with blogs around that would be able to offer you a rec.

I have recently reread the English version of Hana Yori Dango, or Boys Over Flowers. One thing I noted was how amazing the female relationships are. They’re so positive, even when the girls are conflicted. It’s a manga, 37 volumes long, so of course it would take a diagram or a PowerPoint to break down how this is, but it was something I really appreciated on this read through. The girls are all very different, too, without feeling like they're cardboard cut-outs. If you’re at all interested in manga, and I know not everyone is so no worries, I highly recommend it. It’s honestly a superior take on the “4 rich boys who cause trouble” and their romances.

I’ve also been rereading Sempre, which I mentioned before. That’s sort of a mafia romance, but I would categorize it as dark. I’ve been noting how supportive the female relationships are there as well. I’ve really been enjoying that this time around.

And that brings me to a TV show, actually. I’ve mentioned it and reblogged a lot of Leverage stuff, but it truly is a comfort show for me. Parker sits very close to Emory in my heart, and I had hoped that Emory would have some of the same opportunities to develop relationships that Parker had. Parker’s relationship with Sophie is so interesting and nice to watch unfold.

In fact, something I haven’t said before because I don’t think anyone would understand it, is that I had hoped that Alex would become more like a Terra-type character. For anyone interested, here’s an episode. You’d need Amazon to watch it, but it’s probably free somewhere anyway.

Anyway, that’s all I got right now. I truly am sorry that it was such a bad experience for you. You’re welcome to stick around, but I’m sure since you hated so much, you’re ready to move on after unloading like that. But it’s all good either way. I hope you’re on to better and better things.

Take care of yourself!

With love and appreciation,

-KO

#asked and answered #asked and answered 176

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deuces-stone-cold-style · 2 years

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It's not sad that Ghoulia wasn't in the reboot, she was saved from a terrible fate

#also her live action actress is the only one I fully trust #monster high #ghoulia yelps #its sad but for the reboot #since it didnt have the privilege of her presence

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killrockabill · 3 years

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azula redemptive

so this isnt a full redemption more of a setting her on the path. azula is a character i kind of identify with. i grew up in a chaotic environment and learned to “play the game” manipulate lie and occasionally throw people under the bus. at first it was just a way to get through life but then it kinda just became who i was. i have gone to counseling etc but still occasionally wonder if my feelings are real or if theyre just what theyre supposed to be. i was lucky to have people in my life. my uncle irohs but she didnt seem to. here it is.

Azula was never the type for brooding, that was more zuzu’s territory. Tonight was different. She was tired. It had been a few years since the avatar ended one hundred year war. she had barely kept track of the actual amount of time. In the time since however; she had not grown complacent. she couldn’t.

Zuzu had become the fire lord and seemed to be decent enough at it. At least he was capable of not destroying the fire nation with incompetence. While they were never close there was a hint of something in her that could almost be considered pride. No. Pride was the wrong word the feeling was more that of acknowledgment. He and the avatar won and that was the end of that story.

For a time azula was unsure of her place in the universe. She had lived her life to be the true heir, to be ozai. He was a wrathful and petty god and she was his disciple.

“ Why was that again?” She pondered. “Well what else could i be? Zuzu?” She knew she was smarter than that.

Zuko was soft and too stupid to play the game, so she used him. Every misstep, every weakness was a way to save herself from being him. Did she ever feel bad about it? Perhaps a long time ago, not that it mattered. You do something long enough you get used to it and when you get good at it you start to enjoy it. Every maneuver, every manipulation was a victory and nobody played the game like her.

“My shadow lord” a shaky voice called from behind. The cult of ozai must have sent him. They had been useful to be sure, but she hated that name. It reminded her of the darkness within her, the same darkness her mother saw.

“Yes?” Azula spoke finally in an exasperated tone. “What is it? i have no use of any of you right now.”

“F-forgive me. I-I have come to warn you.” he stuttered as though he were shaken by the earth itself.

“You? Warn me? I may not be the fire lord anymore, but i am still one of the most powerful firebenders of this generation. What could be coming that I need worry?!” That was a bit more intense than she intended, but anyone who knew her knew it was her default state.

“N-nothing that i'm sure you cannot handle, b-but as your loyal servant it’s my duty. The ozai followers t-they doubt your intentions. They believe you don't intend to restore ozai to power.”

That was a fair thought seeing as she had no intention of restoring ozai to power. She had used them to challenge zuko and make him grow into the strong leader the fire nation needed. He was soft on enemies, azula being a perfect example, and not wary of friends that could turn on him as they do.

“Hmph, well I suppose i owe you thanks. Tonight you will leave and discard any sign of joining the movement. Live a life well or not it doesn't matter to me” she hated being in debt to someone. Azula could manage some over privileged fanatics, but knowing she’ll have to get her hands a bit dirty is nice.

“M-my lady i-i-i apologize i meant no offense. please i-“

Azula cut him off. “ you misunderstand. Tonight there’s going to be a … discussion, between the rest of the group. Take this and go do whatever it is you people do.” She flipped a gold piece. She couldn't be bothered to remember if he was one of the wealthy members and what's one gold piece. It was his duty to her to report and that should be rewarded. Flies and honey; perhaps if she did that back then those two. NO we are not going there azula scolded herself. Focus.

The man was still sitting there mouth agape like a fool. Was he processing what just happened? Regretting exposing his comrades? If he betrays her and lets them know she's coming she will live up to the darkness that earned her the title shadow lord.

“I don’t know what you are waiting for, but go. I have an appointment.” Azula walked past him. Ordinarily any threat of a stanger betraying her and leading her to a trap would be subdued by their fear of her. Azula learned that was not a guarantee the hard way. Her shoulder aches like an old woman from ty lee’s strike. That wasn’t what azula had heard about chi blocking, but maybe this hit was deeper.

“FOCUS” azula chided herself “her of all people. Yes, I did use fear to keep them in line but I was good to her. I tried at least. There weren’t many who’s tears could get to me. Fuck, enough. You need to deal with these fools”

Azula had reached the door to where the cult of ozai held their meeting. A Modest wooded shack near where Azula was. It benefited them to be out of the way and not get attention. Azula paused and thought “alright put on the scary eyes” before making her entrance. You could hear the conversation screech to a halt.

“My lady! Welcome, what brings you? New plans rid us of your brother?” One finally broke the silence. The fool that was their leader before azula had seized control.

The gaul to pretend like they werent just talking about turning on her. Did they know who they were dealing with? She was no longer princess azula daughter of ozai; she was the god now.

“Its come to my attention that some of us feel breaking my father, ozai out of prison. Let me clear ozai was a fool who bit off more than he could chew trying to conquer the world. He’s weak now spoiled by everyone's fear of him he lost to a child.”

“You speak out of turn little girl. You wouldn’t be so brave as to say that in his presence!” One of them burst out.

“Ah, yes the withered old man that has been in shackles for how many years?” Azula genuinely could not remember anymore. “I am a prodigy trained by the finest benders this nation has to offer. The bender that conquered ba sing se. Even with his bending he lost to an avatar that I beat. “

Azula wasn’t bragging. This was the fight. Subduing them without having to lift a finger. What happens when azula needs to lift a finger? Well, let's say azula would oblige in earnest. She could tell most of them had already seemed to understand. Any of them try something it’ll end one way. She’d won the fight before they could even try; perhaps she should write a book azula mused. “Azulas art of war”.

The only one not to flinch was their leader. His smile from when he greeted her did not waiver. He must have something in mind, as he would have no way of defeating her in single combat.

“My princess, perhaps you’re right there is something unclear about our partnership.” He started, as calm as can be. “ you are a talented bender to be sure, but without your father’s backing you’re simply an unstable little girl. Your usefulness is only in name and furthering our reputation.”

Usefulness? This commoner did not just reference her as a prop in their machinations. This was when azula began to get heated, literally. Around her the air began to warm until the air around her blurred like that of the air around an open flame. The room had become unbearably hot for the others, but azula the dragon she was, could handle much more.

Azula let out a sigh. “Unstable?!? Lets be clear you work for me! Not the other way around. I have seen and done more in life let alone for the fire nation than you will in what is about to become a shortened life!”

Parts of azula began to catch fire as her rage seethed. Zuzu may have been a lame turtle duck of a brother, but he did show her the usefulness of adapting different bending styles. The fire on her crawled across her body into a sphere in her hands. Though the leader had prepared for a direct strike; azula had something else prepared. She slammed her hand on the floor and allowed the fire ball to be pressed on the ground exploding out in a circle around her.

The cabin had caught fire and many of the cultists were sent flying into the walls and scattered like the insects they were. Azula had practiced that move for some time and understood why strong earth benders would use an impact like strike like that. It was an effective way to combine offence and defense, and not to mention oddly satisfying.

Azula may have been willing to kill if necessary but leaving them broken was the better choice. She snuffed out the fire leaving the smoke cloud to cover her exit. That should be a clear message to anyone. Princess azula is done.

Fire lord zuko did not need his shadow lord anymore. Azula hated to admit zuko had become a passable fire lord. The land prospered, and while zuko is about peace hes is firmer on asserting influence in world. The fire nation is still a force to be reckoned with and she was as influential in it as the avatar or that slob of an uncle. There wasn’t much to do here. Azula wasnt sure what the next move was, but there were things that needed to be drawn before action could be taken.

The palace at the fire nation capital. It was much like she remembered less a gaudy statue of her father. The way the paths lead by lantern fire flowed like a living flame. It was soft enough to have a cozy warmth like that of the hearth. If she missed anything the most of the old princess lifebit was how home loosened tension. This unfortunately was not a vacation.

Her brother liked to sit near the water where the woman and him sat. Only two kyoshi to guard him, I suppose if azula was an average attacker that would do. Azula could already feel the exhaustion this is going to come from this

She waited seated at the spot he typically stops at.

“AZULA” ah that raspy broody voice is never, not funny. He growls like a cub caught without a mother. “What are you doing here?! Trying to cause more trouble for me to clean up? Trying to take the throne?

“Oh zuzu all I’m doing is sitting here. Come I wish to speak to you, as civilly as possible. I’ll even allow one of your fangirls chi block my arms.

A laugh broke the tension “that's even funnier the second time around azula” that cheery pitch could only be one person. Azula perked up in her seat.

“Ty lee, im glad you’re here too. Wait that sounded ominous. I mean the sight of you is pleasant.” Not exactly how she thought things would go they were supposed to be separate. “Well that’s best anyway it’d make the noodle arm treatment feel less awkward when it’s someone you know.”

“Hey that makes this easy” with two jabs azulas arms and therefore lightning wre off the table. “I just want you to know. I am still scared of you, but that fear makes me want to stop it.”

“Ah-um ty lee… i don’t expect you to and ill understand if you say no but i'd like to speak with you after.” Azulas voice was gentle when it reached ty lee.

Ty lee paused to glance back. She was shaken at the thought. Of course she would be what else should she be? Happy? She said it herself she was scared of azula and you cant have friends with that or they betray you.

“Lets try this one first.”

Azula was impressed at how ty lee could not only give a non answer and still leave someone hopeful. After the war, thinking through things during training sessions, azula had a new perspective on ty lee. Azula never doubted her prowess for a second, but being such a skilled people reader and least suspect of manipulation. She was everything azula was not and then some. Where azula scanned for weakness ty lee scanned the person. Where azula would use fear to bend to her will ty lee was playing the long game with positive reinforcement. Azula needed her to know that and more.

“There.” Zuko barked. “Now state your business.”

“Zuzu, you’re not meant for impressions, that was the worst ‘father’ i've ever heard. I'm leaving the capital and maybe even the fire nation. “

“Why?” Zuko was confused, what would be her next move. other nations aren’t helpless and its not like Zuko would leave them to her.

“What is there for me here? Zuko, youre the fire lord ive made my peace with that. You were too soft when you first got the throne, and while not all of my actions were always so benevolent; after a while it was about keeping you on alert dealing with the changing world. Making sure you had fangs. Father, ozai, had beat you to submission for so long and only at the end of the war did you begin standing.

“You think you were helping me? Training me in some insane way?!” Azula knew he’d be this way.

“Heavy lies the crown on the head of the ruler zuko. I should know i had it for a couple hours and lost my mind.” Azula chuckled at the memory. A foolish child who had nobody left to manipulate and nobody she trusted, of course shed crack. “You don't have to believe me. Im not sure I believe me. If i couldn't be the fire lord, I'd help mold him, I thought. You're still too soft with other nations in my opinion but you can manage. You’ve proven that.”

“And why tell me instead of just going?” Zuko had began to calm down, perhaps the avatar was rubbing off on him.

“The very reason i had to have my arms chi blocked. You fear me. Sure, you could fend me off with your friends but you know i am not something you would want to face. Now you know you dont have to look over your shoulder, at least not for me.”

“You expect me to believe that?” Zuko lowered his tone. If azula were plotting it could’ve worked here.

“No. I expect the next few weeks you’ll be on high alert. You’ll be upping security in cities and in constant communication with smaller settlements. Most importantly, you will be training. You Want to know that if we cross blazes, you will win. That is why i am leaving that response to an unseen threat? Exactly as a fire lord should be.” He won't look at it practically, at this point what is there for azula to be here. the only reason to keep this up is to take that throne, the one that broke her, it may be rightfully hers but she was not rightfully its. It was owed to her but she was not owed to it.

“Listen zuko, we’ve both seen ozai for what he is. The man who needed his teenage daughter to take ba sing se because he never could. The shortest reigning fire lord who faced an avatar that had only one year of training on the day he was at his peak. He called you a loser, and always asserted dominance because that was the only way to get people to not see the pathetic incompetent man with good enough luck to have me. Looking at you now he missed an opportunity at a useful tool.”

“People aren’t tools azula.” The father talk began to itch at zukos emotional scabs.

“That was the way of the house, and you never learned that. You were too blind or stupid to think ‘whats the right answer’. That is why i was favored. Not luck, i played the game. Not unlike my friend ty lee, there did with me. She saw me.” It appears that azula had some scabs still too. She felt like her skin was raw and each word was hard to spit out.

“It doesnt matter” she took a breath “it would shame the fire nation anyway having to change leaders every few years. Just take my words and do what you will with them.” Azula was done, this had already been more a spectacle than she cared for.

“Ok, now what you stroll out the front door? We should take you in. That’d interrupt your trip. What now?”

“Oh zuzu, you are so on guard still. Good. I’ve an exit lined up out if the way so nobody questions my presence. If you take me in? Why? So i can escape THEN leave? Just extra steps. I dont mind waiting however. I think we both got something from this conversation.”

The air was warm. Unseasonably warm, its him. Azula wondered if this was coincidence or if he made hes own version of her technique. Now azula was tense. Impressive brother, but these are your options.

Finally, a high pitched intervention. “Uhum, fire lord zuko she also wanted to have a talk with me too. Maybe while you think about what to do with her I can see what she wants to say.”

“Are you sure? If she tries something.” Big brother of the year hm. Hopefully mai watches her back azula mused.

“Zuko im a big girl. Plus you’ll be in holler distance. Just keep an eye out.” Ty lee turned to azula. “Im going to sit next to you now, and if you try to bend at me or kick me i will be very upset.” There it was. Azula looked in awe at how she managed to channel a determined child while making it clear there will be consequences for any transgressions. Azula truly was a fool like her father before her, failing to see what’s right in front of her.

“Hi azula. You wanted to talk?” She tried to keep the pep but ty lee couldn’t help but be nervous. Azula was one Of the most dangerous people in the fire nation.

“I did. Thank you. Even though you know there’s a chance i could actually be up to something leading to you or something or someone you care about because all youve ever seen from me is wrath. So, thank you.”

“Ppft, im sorry azula I really am and you’re right i wasnt sure but that awkward rambling reminded me of that day at the beach.”

“ARE YOU MOCKING ME?! I came here and let you chi block me. Do yoy you know what this feels like? Limp noodles where my arms should be.”

“No, no, azula i swear it just shows there's still some of the good in you. Your aura is less vlack more a...deep watertribe navy blue. Theres also the temper still i see” ty lee tried not to give azula a reason to get heated.

“Oh. I see. Well regardless of the context tgat was rude”

“Yes it was, sorry.” She gave azula the eyes that always got to her.

“Its fine. I may have also been a tiny bit intense there.” Azula hated this. She was a prodigy. Which meant apologies and social interaction were unnecessary.

“Ok. Lets try again. ‘Now state your business’” imitating zukos growl of a voice. It got a genuine laugh iut of azula. It had been a while since she laughed at all.

“How do you do that? Just lull people into a state of placation and lowering their guards.” Azula regrouped.

“Its not a trick like you said. Well, mostly not. I do watch people and learn what i can, but its so i dont do anything to start upsetting people. And the rest is just i have a calming aura”

“So you’re just a pure sweet roll in this terrible world?” Azula was proud. She made a quip that didnt sound threatening. That practice wasnt for nothing at least.

“I dont know about that. All I do know is that if we try the world doesn’t have to be terrible. You’ve changed azula. I can see it. Not just your aura either. You meant at least half of what you said i can feel it.”

“Half? That's more generous than i would be in your shoes. I appreciate that and would love to girl talk i think time’s coming so ill jump to it. I want you to know the same as zuzu. I dont have plans for revenge for the prison. I also wanted to say… im sorry. You may have noticed my opinion of my father has changed and as his heir, his duplicate its making me think i need to redefine me. Clearly our way didnt work. I held you and mai by a leash and when it came down to it who do you side with the leash wearer or holder. I’m sorry it happened that way and what it’s probably done since, but there it is.

Ty lee remained silent.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me or even believe me. I just thought, you of all people deserved that much even from a monster like me.” The silence coming from ty lee was worse than any words she could have said. Each second of waiting for any kind of reply was tourture. Ty lee was never the silent type, so as expected she probably won’t accept it. That's fine azula didnt need her to; she didn’t need her or anyone for that matter. Beasts dont always have packs, especially the most vicious ones.

Ty lee stood up and took a few paces. Azula watched and simply thought ‘there she goes. She may be giving azula an out as a courtesy, ehich is more than she expected.

“You're not a monster.” Ty lee's silence finally broke. Her tone was quiet and somber.

“Youre not a good person. Youre Probably one of the worst friends I’ve had, but we were friends. I dont know how much to believe you, but you’ve apologized for hurting my feelings before in more casual moments. The time away may be good for you. I tell you what, I’ll accept your apology for the both of us. I’ll know i gave you one last shred of trust and if how things ended truly bothered you it can stop now.”

Azula was stunned. She shouldn’t have been. That reaction was as textbook as azula threatening a subordinate. Azula should be a little more at peace now, but she isnt. It hurts. Here was a kind strong woman who managed to make something of herself and azula was nothing anymore. A vagrant who couldn’t do what she was raised to do for a few hours. Kindness and compassion were underused thongs for azula but clearly they’re good for something.

“Ty lee” azula choked on the words. How pathetic. How embarrassing. On the verge of tears because she was not a monster to ty lee.

“ thank you ty lee. I didnt and still don’t deserve your friendship, but i think you did something to me. I dont know what, but something. You may go if you wish. I think i want to wait and see what zuko has to say”

“I’ll put in a good word for you. You called him ‘zuko’ most of the time you talked to him. You're a bit confusing right now but I think that might be a good thing.”

“Ha, oh ty lee you have too much faith in people. I could still be the monster in your closet. Don't ever change that.” Azula needed everything in her to not cry, not in front of them. Not again. Never again

Ty lee turned back to face azula. “And you have too little faith. That's ok though, i may not need to change but I really hope you are.” She smile md at azula. It was a soft smile like the glow of a candle in the night and just as warm. How she could manage a real smile towards azula was beyond her. It was beautiful and it had a way of crushing azula.

Ty lee was gone. Not far, as zuko still had to be in the garden somewhere. Azula was glad for that she could breath and focus on the next hurdle. Getting out with noodle arms would be difficult but not impossible. They were so put at ease about the arms they didnt think of any attacks she could do with her legs. If it came down to it she would set enough of a blaze to keep them occupied and run to her escape location.

Zuko and the others returned. He had a stoney look on his face more grim than broody. Azula cant be surprised its bad news, but it was less than ideal. Ty lee stood next to him. Had she kept her word and gave her a chance? Or was that just to encourage me to stay. She had been bitten once and was twice as shy nowadays.

“Ty lee mentioned your talk went well. Im glad you didnt try to kick or bite her.”

“Zuzu, what do you take me for a platypus bear or something?”

“Or something” zuko remarked. It was a fair enough jab azula decided.

“She told me you seem lost in the world. If this is true, we can help. Theres the beach house so you dont have to interact with people unless you want to. We can get you treated like someone in our family should be. You can help us do good for a change.”

“Where do you people get this faith?! I do not intend on being a ward or high end prisoner. I do not belong here, and cannot promise you I’ll be what you want. For all we know i'll turn on you like i have a dozen times over.” Azula could not tell if he really was that foolish or if she should be offended at the patronizing proposition. “No, if im to become something, someone, else it has to be away from here.

Zuko stood silent for a moment. “Very well, but i want you to know that any action against a fire nation citizen is an action on me. the way you and i have been going for years seems to only have one end so i hope you mean all of this. You may go on the condition a kyoshi warrior shadows you for a while.”

“The ones in the elaborate dresses, white, make up and golden fans? Im sure theyll be like a shadow in the night. Though I suppose it could be worse. If i get left alone they will be left alone, just so we’re clear.” Azula hated being followed, but if its just for a while she can put up with it.

“They’ll watch and see if you're just up to old tricks. You'll get a head start and they'll catch up so you won't be sure they are present. If they determine youre no longer a threat they will leave you.”

“Interesting proposal Zuko spoken like a benevolent leader. I accept.” Azula stood up, and was a little off balance because of the arms but they began to come back to her. “I… suppose that's it then brother. I’ll do you a favor and make it so my way in cannot be used again. We may not see eachother again, so farewell. remember, you are the dragon not some toothless herbivore. Dont embarrass us.” There was an awkward melancholy to azulas voice. They were never siblings in the traditional sense and she did try to kill him. A lot. Still, it’ll be sad to not get under his skin anymore even just a little.

“Goodbye azula. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for. If all of this is true my offer will stand.”

Azula had nothing to say. She couldn’t. She fully intends to be gone, and yet he leaves the door open? It’s embarrassing, its offensive, and somehow its cruel. Azula living the rest of her days in a place designed to make her complacent? No. She may not want the throne but she will not be a pet.”

Azula nodded and walked away. He was as good a brother as you could get in this family and she was as bad a sister as you could get in this family. That bridge is burned whether he realizes or not.

Now all that was left for azula was to decide where to go. That entire exchange left her raw and exhausted. Zuko may have had a point, the beach wasn’t far and a small coma would be nice. A stop off there get some nation neutral clothes and see where the wind take her. It was as good a plan as any for now.

When she finally reached the shore and looked up the stairs to the childhood beach house the exhaustion set in. How long had it been since she slept? More than 24 hours to be sure. Azula dropped to her knees and felt the sand beneath her. Soft, like ty lee's smile.

“No.” Azula dismissed. Now was not the time to reminisce. This sand was once a rock. It could have been a rock that punctured war ships sinking them to their doom, or a smaller rock cutting the food of an unwitting beach goers foot. Azula was that rock. Was she being worn down into sand? Was that ok? Everything in this world wears down, so why not her? If she could be half of what this sand was, pleasant soft and comforting perhaps that wouldn't be so bad.

#avatar #avatar the last airbender #atla azula #atla #atla fanfic #ty lee x azula #azula avatar #princess azula #prince zuko #azula and zuko #atla zuko #fire lord zuko #ty lee #ty lee atla #fan fiction #fanfic

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questionsonislam · 3 years

Note

What are the fundamental rights Islam gives to man?

To comprehend the importance given to human rights in Islam, it is better to have a glance at the circumstances of the world before Islam. As follows:

1. All of the states in the world were ruled by monarchy. The ruling king, monarch or emperor had full authority over the people he ruled. He used to kill or exile the people he desired, and he did not have to account for anything he had done to people.

2. People were divided into classes. The monarchs close acquaintances and relatives (the nobles) were in the privileged class. Besides, a large group of people who were despised and whose rights were violated constituted a separate class. There was a deep gap between those classes.

3. Slavery was carried out in the most barbarous way. Personal dignity was flagrantly violated.

4. People were treated depending on their races and color of their skins; the superiority of the lineages were accepted as the unique superiority measure. People were not appraised according to their intelligence, knowledge, competence, morals and virtue.

5. There were no fundamental rights or freedoms. None of the fundamental rights or freedoms such as freedom of conscience and religion, right of property, freedom of having a residence, freedom of opinion were considered for an ordinary person. People were subjected to oppression and persecution because of their belief and opinions; and consciences were under oppression.

6. The fundamental principles of law were disregarded. It was even impossible to imagine fundamental judicial concepts like equality in law, domination of the laws, individuality and legality of the punishments. Personal desires and commands were deemed as law, different punishments were applied to the persons committing the same crime but belonging to different classes.

The religion of Islam came and committed the greatest revolution in the history of humanity when the world was in such a dark state.

If it is examined fair-mindedly, it can be seen that the ultimate humane targets that have been attained today were realized many centuries before the human rights declarations were published in the Western World both in the Noble Quran and in the practices of the Prophet (PBUH),

As a matter of fact, the principles included in the speech (the Farewell Sermon) the Prophet (PBUH) gave during his Farewell Hajj are the clearest examples about the issue.

This sermon was read in the year A.D. 632 in the presence of more than 100,000 Muslims. That is, 1157 years before the 1789 Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen which is regarded as the first written text concerning human rights.

The new principles Islam brought to human rights also had major effects on the struggle of the human rights in the West.

Man has a different value from the other beings. That value increases through belief in Allah and obedience to His commands. Thus, man becomes the most honorable guest in the universe. Man gets the value of humanity by his birth, in fact by the beginning of his formation in the uterus and he bears that value throughout his life.

The value of being a human surrounds everyone. Woman-man, elder-younger, black-white, weak-strong, poor-rich, no matter from what religion and nationality, race or color; the shadow of that compassion encompasses all.

Thus, Islam protects the blood of every person from being shed illegally, his chastity from being violated, his property from usurpation, his dwelling from being violated, his lineage from being deteriorated, his conscience from being under constraint. Islam assures the honor and dignity of humanity.

The fundamental rights and freedoms Islam has provided humanity are as follows:

1. Islam put an end to the discrimination of race and color. All people descended from Hazrat Adam. It is not possible for a person to choose his own race and color. It is completely by Allahs determination. It is extremely wrong and harmful to make discrimination and to regard some races and colors as supreme by condemning some races and colors both from the point of view of Islam and humanity.

Almighty Allah says in the noble Quran that He created mankind from a male and a female, and that when their numbers increased, he made them into nations and tribes so that they would know and help each other easily and they would make friends . (al- Hujurat, 13)

As it is seen, the fact that people are from different races and colors are not for superiority to each other but for getting acquainted with and helping each other.

An event illuminating that approach of Islam is as follows:

Abu Dharr, from the companions (sahaba), got angry with Bilal al-Habashi and insulted him by saying: Son of the black woman. He despised him because of his mothers color. When the Prophet (PBUH) was informed of the event, he got very angry and told Abu Dharr the following:

— O Abu Dharr. You have despised Bilal because of his mothers color, is that so? Then, you still have the mentality of the age of ignorance (jahiliyyah).

Hazrat Abu Dharr felt very sorry and repented for those words that slipped out of his mouth with a momentary anger without his intention. He began to cry, threw himself to the ground and put his face on the ground and he said:

— I swear, I wont raise my face from the ground unless Bilal threads and tramples on my cheek with his foot.

He apologized to Bilal al-Habashi repeatedly.

2. Islam put an end to the superiority of family and ancestry and being proud of that. During a meeting that the Companions (sahaba) were present, Sad b. Abi Waqqas offered some of the notables to mention the names of their ancestries. He named his ancestors from the beginning to the end. Salman al-Farsi, who was originally from Iran, was also present there, He didnt have a famous lineage as the notables of Quraish. He did not know his ancestors in detail, either. When Hazrat Sad offered him to name his ancestors, he found this offer strange and gave him this answer: I am Salman, son of Islam. I dont know my ancestors like you. I know one thing that Allah has honored me with Islam

Hazrat Umar also felt uncomfortable with that unnecessary offer of Sads about naming ancestors that reminded the mentality of the age of ignorance . He was so pleased with Salmans meaningful answer that he likened his answer to Salmans answer saying, I am Umar, the son of Islam, too.

When the Prophet (PBUH) heard the case, he also liked Salmans answer and he said: Salman is from me, from my family.

The Prophet demolished the mentality of ignorance based on the superiority of the lineages by giving the noblest families daughters in marriage to some companions that were slaves set free.

3. Islam brought the citizens the right to control and supervise their administrators. It aimed to put an end to the arbitrary management, injustice and illegality in the administration of the state. Hazrat Abu Bakr expressed that issue as follows in his speech when he was elected as the Caliph: O people! I have been elected as your administrator although I am not the best one among you. Obey me if I perform my duty in accordance with Islam. If I go astray, warn me.

One day, Hazrat Umar asked the Muslims in the mosque, If I go astray, what will you do? They replied: We will straighten you with our swords. Hazrat Umar was very pleased with that answer.

4. Freedom of Thought and Conscience. Freedom of thought and conscience is the most important human right after right of living. Not giving this right to man means reducing him to the degree of the animals by getting him out of his real essence. Therefore, Islam by no means allows thoughts and consciences to be kept under oppression. With the principle There is no compulsion in religion, Islam does not approve of making people accept the fundamentals of belief by force.

5. Islam has paid attention to the establishment of slavery painstakingly and brought it to a judicial regulation.

When the religion of Islam arose, slavery was prevalent as he most barbaric and inhuman practice all over the world. Islam, of course, could not have been expected to abolish that establishment completely that was prevalent all over the world. So, Islam did not choose to abrogate slavery completely at once but gave it the most humane and civil form by making great reforms regarding it. In addition, Islam supplied some formulae to make slavery abolish indirectly by increasing and facilitating the ways of passing to freedom from slavery.

6. Freedom of Property. Love of property and desire to have goods are among the various feelings Allah has given to man. That issue has been specified clearly in the Quran. Islam has given man the right to have property and has laid the groundwork for satisfying that feeling in a legal way. Nobody can interfere in any way with anybodys right of having property that Islam gives to him without his permission.

7. Equality before Law. Islam accepts all people equal before law like the teeth of a comb. Islam does not allow making a privileged treatment to the people in accordance with their social status and pedigrees.

In Islam, the dominance and the superiority of the laws are essential. The president and any of the citizens are treated equally before law. The guilty one is penalized even though he is a president. The most striking examples of it are that Fatih Sultan Mehmet and a Greek architect; Hazrat Ali and a Jewish; Salahaddin al- Ayyubi and an Armenian were taken to the court to be judged.

A woman from a noble family of the Mahzum tribe committed a theft on the conquest day of Mecca and she was caught in the act. She had to be punished. But, since the woman belonged to a noble family, they were afraid to blacken the name of the family so they wanted her to be forgiven and not to be punished. But how would they attain it? How would they tell it to the Prophet? Eventually, they sent Usama b. Zayd, the beloved one by the Prophet, to the Prophet as an envoy. Usama entered the presence of the Prophet and told him about the case. He asked him to forgive the guilty woman. The Prophet (PBUH) got very angry with this offer. He got out right away and made this historical speech:

O Muslims, do you know why the nations before you had been demolished and destroyed and had become a thing of the past? When a person from the notables committed a crime, they would not punish him. However, when an ordinary person committed a crime, they would desire strongly to apply the punishment. This injustice caused them to be destroyed. I swear, if the person committing the crime were my daughter Fatima, I would not hesitate to punish her at all.

Thereupon, the punishment was applied immediately.

The following sentences from the speech that Hazrat Abu Bakr made when he was selected as the Caliph also attract attention from that point of view: The weakest ones among you are the strongest before me till they take their rights. The strongest ones are the weakest before me till I take others rights from them.

8. Individuality and Legality of Punishment. In Islam, there can be no illegal punishment, and punishing somebody else instead of the person committing the crime is not in question.

The principle of the individuality of punishment is expressed in Chapter al-Anam as follows: Every soul draws the meed of its acts on none but itself: no bearer of burdens can bear the burden (sin) of another. (Verse: 164)

9. Independence and Impartiality of the Courts. Courts, which are the establishments for justice in Islam, have been kept away from all kinds of outer oppressions, personal animosities, spites andarbitrary applications; and the judges havent been allowed to lose their impartiality. In Islamic courts, presidents were tried with ordinary people and they were punished if they were found guilty.

10. Inviolability of Residence and Immunity of Private Life. In Islam, nobody has the right to interfere with an individuals private life and to enter his residence without his permission. In Islam, it is forbidden inspecting peoples confidential affairs.

11. Freedom of Travel. In Islam, traveling is accepted as a cause to learn lessons and to get healthy. Therefore, people are encouraged to travel.

12. Right of living, assurance of protecting lives, property and chastity from violation. That issue has been manifested in the most beautiful way in the Farewell Sermon by Allahs Messenger:

O people! Just as you regard this month, this day, this city as Sacred, so regard the life and property of every Muslim as a sacred trust. They are protected from all kinds of violation.

13. Social Security. The religion of Islam patronizes man so that he wont be aggrieved and wretched due to old age, illness, disasters and accidents, and Islam takes the future of the needy under assurance through social security measures it supplies. Above all, Islam incites people to take themselves under assurance economically by encouraging them to work. Besides, Islam supplies a distinct security in the family, in the circle of neighbors and relatives by various measures it has taken. The state itself takes the individuals security under assurance when all of these security precautions are insufficient. The establishment of zakat (alms) and waqfs are the perfect social security foundations.

14. Freedom of Labor, Justice and Equality of Payment. In Islam, working and endeavoring are appreciated and encourageed greatly. Begging, being a burden to someone else is not welcomed. What is more, working to provide a living for ones family is regarded as worship as long as (fardhs) obligatory duties are performed. The verse, That man can have nothing but what he strives for. shows the importance Islam gives to endeavoring and working

Islam, which assures the freedom of working fully –on condition that it is a legal earning way-, also organizes the relationship between the employee and the employer in the nicest way.

The principle Pay the wages of a worker before his sweat dries assures the rights of workers in the perfect way.

The worker, in return, will try to complete the work assigned to him perfectly and completely and he will accept trying to deserve the wages he receives as a principle.

15. Patronage of Children. Islam patronizes children beginning from their birth; several aids are made to parents for their children nutrition and clothing expenses and subsidies are allocated from the treasury of the government. Today, that aid is supplied in all rich states under the name money for children. Allahs Messenger insistently warned the army of Islam against killing women and especially children in the wars.

16. Fundamental Education is Obligatory and Free of Charge. The hadith Seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim man and woman. makes the fundamental education obligatory. The curriculum of the fundamental education has been prepared very carefully in Islam.

The fundamental education includes vocational education besides religious, ethical and moral knowledge. Islam considers it necessary for children to be trained for a profession along with religious knowledge.

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5-falsehoods-phonated · 4 years

Text

Prompts with boxes around them have been taken. Highlighted prompts have been written.

Death of a Bachelor

Summary: Prisoners set in an unfair game, Logan and Remus plan to both come out alive.

Warnings: major character death, blood, violence (If there are others you notice need tagged please let me know)

Prompt: Deadly Game and Doesn't Realize They've Been Injured Combo (Only one is marked off the card as per BTHB rules)

Ships: Intrulogical, Logan x Remus

wc: 2496

AO3 link!

@warcraftedtardis

Remus was numb as they strapped him into the armor, poorly made with an even poorer fit but with little he could do about it in the situation he was in. He glanced over subtlety so as to not attract the guards attention, the man across from him offering a grim barely there smile.

Make that the situation they were both in.

He winced as he was shoved into line behind the other, taking comfort in the others presence even if they couldn't speak. Up against the wall as they were he waited until no one was looking and reached forward, brushing fingertips with the darker haired man. Logan reached back to grab at him quickly, offering a tight squeeze before letting go. That was all Remus needed. They would get through this. They would win and they’d be alright and taken care of until the next tournament. Guards didn’t care what anyone did in a shared cell as long as it didn’t effect their fighting and Remus was definitely counting on cuddles and stories after this.

An alarm sounded outside and the crowd cheered as another fight began. Idly he wondered what weapons the prisoners had chosen. You were only allowed one, prisoner against prisoner until one died and left one less mouth to feed in the system and left thousands entertained. A mockery of the ancient gladiator tournaments turned to keep jail cells empty and offer a small chance bag freedom. Your crime didn’t matter here. Only your skill. A deadly game set to leave a bloodstain on the tragedy human history was becoming, setting you free with fake honor and a grudge against the barbaracy of society.

The crowd cheered again as a winner was declared, alarm sounding for the next two contestants. The line moved forward as a slashed and bloodied woman stumbled through the door, adding together stains on the floor and glaring at anyone who dared even peek at the state she was in. She was hustled away quickly to be taken care of and thrown back in a cell to heal. Logan tensed in front of him but another brush of hands let him relax slightly. Everything was fine.

A man stood out from the line suddenly, looking the guards straight in the eye before rushing them head on. Remus' ears rang before the bullet wound in the mans head registered and he sucked in a quick breath. The body was left there, cold eyes staring sightless as a challenging warning to anyone else that might think of going the route of stupidity. There was at least one everyday.

"Remus." Logan whimpered quietly.

He turned his head to look at Logan in confusion, the other nodding to the lines order. The mans spot was already filled by another moving up and the guards weren't rearranging them. The pairs were different now.

Remus would now be paired with Logan.

Ice ran through his veins as the line moved forward with every battle. Every alarm sent another wave of unwanted thoughts pounding against his brain. Every winner that stumbled through the door brought another image of a dead Logan or Remus being dragged out another. He couldn't bring himself to speak as they were shoved towards the weapons rack, both choosing simple swords as they gave each other panicked looks through the crowds demanding cheers. Simple refined weapons for a quick painless death. Remus winced at the thought.

The guard waited for them by the door, thankfully not looking as Logan turned to him. "Remus listen to me if we hold out and fight for long enough they might get bored and declare a tie. They've done it before and since we've already proven before that we're decent fighters they may do it again."

The alarm sounded and Remus shot panicked eyes to the guard heading their way. Snapping back to Logan he sucked in as much air as he could to calm his shaking form.

"Do you understand Remus?"

"I-"

"What the hell are you doing? Get over to the door!" The guard laid a hand on his belt, prompting them both to hurry towards the door. Remus gave Logan a determined nod before pushing the door open letting blinding sunlight stream in.

The feild was a little less than the length of the average football field, grass well kept despite its constant carnage. The stands rose up as high as a 10 story building easily, maybe even a bit higher; a huge screen sat on the far end up high enough so that people could see and bet on the prisoners, the smaller screens in front of them allowing them to see as the fight went on with added updates in between. The screen zoomed in on their faces, both white as snow as they stepped carefully forward to the starting positions. Remus gazed at Logan across from him, the shorter man looking smaller and more fragile than Remus had ever seen him. Their swords were gripped tightly in their fists, the shouting and jeering of the crowd fading out until it was just the two of them. Their chests were heaving and faces twisting though they hadn't even started yet, white knuckled and weak knees with apprehension. The grass between them seemed to stretch for miles yet it may as well have only been an inch for all the details Remus could pick out. He saw how Logan’s freckles stood out proudly against his blood drained face. Saw the way his lip quivered and jaw worked as if he had his inner cheek caught in his teeth. Watery brown eyes met his own as he took a sick sort of comfort in knowing Logan was just as terrified as he was.

The alarm sounding snapped him back for only a brief moment, crowd practically roaring as they ran towards each other.

---

Remus giggled madly as he ran towards his friend, backpack slipping off his shoulders and falling behind as Logan caught him up in a squirming mess of a hug.

"Hi, Lo!" As he squeezed his favorite person in the world the other groaned in mock annoyance, hugging him back all the same. Logan was in second grade while Remus was in kindergarten which made the hours spent in school especially lonely for the hyperactive younger child. Logan swung Remus around to grab his bookbag and placed their fingers together carefully to walk home, Remus carefully tucked at his side on the inside of the sidewalk as they both babbled on about their days. Remus had gotten a gold star on his latest art project while Logan was at the top of his class in the reading assignments. Their arms swung between them, oblivious of everything else outside of their comfortable bubble.

---

Remus' arm swung down and to the side, jumping back to avoid a wide swipe by the others sword. Remus bit his lip as he jabbed at the air a centimeter from Logan's face and winced when it came close to slicing off an ear.

---

"It'll be fine I promise." Logan held his hand comfortingly while Remus squirmed in the chair. "You won't even feel it."

The tattoo artist had all the tools laid in front of her, antiseptic at the ready. "You sure this is what you want kid?"

"Yes!" Remus eyes gleamed with nervous excitement as he squeezed Logan's hand, getting an immediate answering squeeze back. His ears were swabbed and he caught Logan's eyes as the needle was pushed through, hardly able to contain his bouncing excitement.

Later as Logan admired the work at a cafe down the street, he laughed a little to himself. "Your parents are going to be so pissed at you."

"I'm 14. What are they gonna do?"

Ground him without phone privileges for a month it turned out. Logan didnt believe him when he said it was worth it, clutching his own ears in horror.

---

Alternating between stabbing offensively and slicing defensively they danced around the field in a carefully improvised dance, eyes locked in desperation and worry. Remus' sword arm was already numbing from the constant clashing but he couldn't let his concentration waver. A misplaced backstep nearly sent him to the ground, crouching low to recover his balance before rolling quickly out of the way of a powerful downward strike.

---

"Remus!" The front of his shirt was caught as he was yanked forward, Logan tipping backwards and letting him fall on top of him with only a slight groan.

Remus huffed against his chest and propped his chin on his hands, palms flat against the others chest. Logan eyes him carefully, looking for any sign of injury. Finding none he breathed out a sigh of relief and gently whapped him upside the head.

"Idiot." He declared fondly.

"Your idiot." Remus corrected.

"I regret ever meeting you if only because you decided dancing on top of an apartment building was a good idea."

"But you can see the stars up here."

"You aren't even looking at them."

Remus locked eyes with him, smiling softly at the way the moonlight caught Logan's eyes, making them practically glow with the mirth that was already there. "Yes I am."

Logan sputtered and flushed darkly, tightening his hands around Remus' waist. Grinning in victory, Remus snuggled in further into the warm safety.

---

Remus heart skipped a beat as he nearly knocked the sword from Logan's hands, panic flashing in his eyes as he fumbled for a second. Feigning a stumble he let him recover, covering it with a close swipe that was easily covered.

---

Logan stumbled forward in his haste to get into the house, nearly dropping the stack of boxes in the process. He looked up gratefully as Remus braced his hand against the top ones to keep them from falling, nodding gratefully as he recovered.

"So this is it." Dumping his own stack in the living room he looked around at their new home. A nice trailer just big enough for two people in a quiet neighborhood with a park just down the road. Logan stepped beside him and took his hand, squeezing it tightly before bringing it to his lips with a soft smile.

"This is everything." Logan answered quietly, adoration so clear in his tone that Remus could think of nothing better to do than lean forward, capturing his boyfriends lips in the peace of their fresh start.

---

They were both tiring, movements slowing down dangerously but still they fought. Eyes locking along with their swords as their feet slid on blood soaked grass and their ears rang with the crowds jeering. Metal found metal again and again as Remus became slightly more aggressive in his delivery, driving Logan back inch by careful inch.

---

They were both tired, Logan slumped in Remus' lap as he gently carded through his sweaty locks. A guard slammed into the door but neither flinched. No one cared. No one had the energy to. Silent tears tracked down the shorter mans face as Remus tried to gently bring him back to reality. Logan had done the same with him after his own first kill and he'd be damned if he didn't do the same.

"I killed him." Remus froze as Logan spoke his first words in days, quickly resuming his careful touches.

"No. They killed him. They put you on that field to see if you survived and you did."

"I could have-"

"No you couldn't." Remus cut him off with an accompanying scratch to the scalp. "You go out there and its kill or be killed. You aren't a monster Lo."

---

Remus froze as he drew back his blade, the tip slick with blood that ran down its length and stained his fingers. He brought it up quickly as Logan swung down again, switching to careful defense even as shock racked his body.

"Logan-"

Sweat dripped down the others face mixing with the tears that had been falling since the start. Muscles strained and tendons twisted in his valiant attempt to keep moving. Remus saw none of this as his eyes were locked onto the spreading stain on the others shirt, chest plate having done nothing to protect him from the clumsy jab to the abdomen Logan hadnt ducked away from in time.

"Logan!"

Still they fought, legs stumbling and movements becoming clumsier by the minute. The blades flashed in the late morning sun that rose above the stands to shine light on the carnage below. Blocking another blow, he wrenched the sword to the side and knocked Logan’s out of his hands. Dropping his own Remus reached out desperately.

"Logan." He choked on a sob as the other finally stopped moving, grimacing as he looked down and brought a hand to his stomach.

"Oh."

Remus didn't care about the crowd yelling. He didn't care whether or not the guards would be coming. He didn't care what the moderators caught on their stupid screens. Logan was in his arms and on his lap and bleeding and reaching for him and crying in sobs that caught painfully as his breath hitched in desperate gasps.

Remus caught the grasping fingers tightly in his own and held on for all he was worth, his sole focus on Logan’s eyes and Logan touch and trying to stop Logan from bleeding out and Logan Logan Logan

"I didn't mean to, oh god no please." Remus words bordered on hysterical wails as he brought the rapidly cooling fingers to his cheek. "I'm so sorry I'm so so sorry Logan you can't-"

"I love you." His breath caught as Logan focused on him for only a second before his eyes began glazing over. "I love you so much, Remus."

"Logan." Clutching at him tighter he began rocking slightly, pressing down insistently on the wound even as he felt the blood rush out regardless. The hand against his cheek relaxed as Logan's entire body went limp, eyes void of the stars he loved so dearly. "Logan? No no no no no Logan please!"

He clutched at the body even as he was jerked away, screaming at the top of his lungs as Logan was ripped away from him. Grass and dirt slipped from his blood soaked hands as he tried to claw his way back, the other being dragged by his leg in the opposite direction. To be declared dead and disposed of. To clear the field for the next game. To tick one more number off their list.

No one spared him a second glance as he was dragged past the line and down the halls. Thrown into his cell where stars were scratched carefully on the ceiling and only one bed was ever used. His wails echoed unnaturally in the emptier space, cold unforgiving walls slamming his sorrow back into him tenfold and he curled into himself and wept.

Blood stained his hands hours after it cooled, the only thing he had left of the man he had loved.

#bad things happen bingo #sanders sudes #ao3 #deadly game #doesn't realize they've been injured #ask #request fill #remus sanders #logan sanders #remus x logan #remus sanders x logan sanders #intrulogical #tw blood #tw violence #tw character death #major character death #false bthb

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perfectlymarilynmonroe · 4 years

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I just saw a tiktok talking about how Marilyn had relationships with women, they mentioned Joan Crawford and Elizabeth Taylor and her acting coach, and that her therapist revealed that to the public. They even said Joe confirmed it saying that that was the reason their marriage didnt work out. I have never heard or read that before but everyone just took it as facts in those comments, could you clear it up?

Nope. All of the rumors of her dating woman have never been proven, and Joe never confirmed it. I’m really not sure where the rumors originated from, but biographers and sites continue to spread the myth.

There definitely hasn’t been anything to prove an affair with Elizabeth Taylor, as for Joan Crawford, Biographer Fred Lawrence Guiles wrote that she invited Marilyn back to her home and made a pass at her:

“Marilyn was more than ready for an affair with someone she could also admire. Her emotional life was far more complex than the public could even imagine. No sooner had she extricated herself from her entanglement with Natasha than she became involved in a serious friendship with Joan Crawford. Although Crawford’s career was again in decline, she was still a social presence of considerable importance in Hollywood. She had initiated the relationship by phoning Marilyn at the studio and inviting her to her home for Sunday brunch. Marilyn was thrilled to be taken up by one of her early idols and began dropping by Crawford’s home frequently. They found that they had a mutual interest in Christian Science. The aging film queen began to give her advice on how to dress and even offered her part of her own wardrobe, but since Crawford was petite and Marilyn was five foot six, nothing would fit. Just before Marilyn’s first date with DiMaggio, at another brunch and with the hostess slightly drunk, Crawford made a sexual pass at Marilyn and the friendship abruptly ended. Marilyn, who saw nothing wrong with lesbianism, recoiled more from shock than offense. Marilyn had a strong self-protective instinct and she must have sensed that any intimate involvement with Crawford would lead to big trouble down the road. Although she turned Crawford down, she determined to be discreet about what had happened. Within the next year and a half, her loyalty to the woman would be severely tested.”

In “My Story” Marilyn’s ghosted autobiography here is the chapter entitled: “My Joan Crawford Feud”

I met Joan Crawford at Joe Schenck's house. She was an impressive woman. I admired her during dinner. I hoped that when I was her age I would keep my looks as well as she had. Some movie stars don't seem like stars when you meet them, and some seem more like stars off the screen than on. I don't know which is better, but Miss Crawford was definitely the latter type. She was as much the movie star at Mr. Schenck's dinner table as she could have been electrifying a courtroom in a movie drama-even a little more. I was pleased to see I had made an impression on Miss Crawford. She said to me after dinner, "I think I could help you a great deal if you would let me. For instance that white knitted dress you're wearing is utterly incorrect for a dinner of this kind." It was the only good dress I owned. I wore it evenings as well as daytimes when I was going any place important, and I cleaned it myself every day. I looked at Miss Crawford's beautiful evening gown and understood what she meant. "Taste," Miss Crawford went on, "is every bit as important as looks and figure." She smiled very kindly at me and asked, "Will you let me help you, my dear?" I said I was flattered to have her offer to. We made a date to meet Sunday morning in church. It turned out that Miss Crawford and I went to the same church. After the church service, Miss Crawford said as we met coming out, "I'm so glad to see you. But you mustn't come to church in flat heels and a gray suit with black trimming. If you wear gray you must wear different gray tones, but never black." It was my only suit, but there was no sense defending it on that ground. "Would you like to come to my house with me?" Miss Crawford asked. I said I'd like to very much, and it was arranged that I should follow her car in mine. I was excited at what I thought was going to happen. Miss Crawford, I felt pretty sure, was going to offer me some of her old ball gowns and ensembles that she'd grown tired of. The house was very beautiful and elegant. We had lunch in the kitchen with Miss Crawford's four children and a beautiful white poodle. After lunch, Miss Crawford asked me to come upstairs to her room. "Brown would look very good on you," she said. "I must show you the things I've been knitting." She showed me a number of knitted dickies in different shades of brown and explained that they were to be worn under different shades of brown suits. "The main thing about dressing well," Miss Crawford explained, "is to see that everything you wear is just right- your shoes, stockings, gloves and bag all fit the suit you're wearing. Now what I would like you to do is to make a list of all the clothes in your wardrobe, and I'll make a list of all the things you need to buy and see that you buy the right things." I didn't say anything. I usually didn't mind telling people I was broke and even trying to borrow a few dollars from them to tide me over. But for some reason I couldn't tell Miss Crawford that she had seen my wardrobe in full-the incorrect white knitted dress and the wrong gray suit. "It's so easy not to look vulgar," Miss Crawford assured me, when I was ready to leave. "Do make out a list of all your things and let me guide you a bit. You'll be surprised at the results. And so will everyone else." I don't know why I called Miss Crawford up again, except that I had promised I would. Maybe I was still hoping she would present me with some of her discarded ball gowns. I think, also, I had some intention of telling her the truth about not being able to buy any fancy clothes. But when I heard Miss Crawford's voice on the phone, I had to start palavering as I'd done before. Had I made out that list of my wardrobe? No, I hadn't. That was very lazy of me. Yes, I knew. And I would make the list out in a few days and call her up again. "Good," said Miss Crawford. "I'll be expecting to hear from you." I didn't call Miss Crawford again. In fact, the next time I heard from Miss Crawford was in the newspapers. This was a year later. I'd gone to work at both Century-Fox again, and the Marilyn Monroe boom had started. I was all over the magazines and movie columns, and the fan mail at the studio was arriving in trucks. Among the honors that were now showering on me was the privilege of presenting one of the Oscars to one of the Award winners at the Academy's annual affair. I was frozen with fear the night of the Academy Award Ceremonies. I waited tremblingly for my turn to walk up to the platform and hand over the Oscar in my keeping. I prayed I wouldn't trip and fall and that my voice wouldn't disappear when I had to say my two lines. When my turn came I managed to reach the platform, say my piece, and return to my table without any mishap. Or so I thought until I read Joan Crawford's remarks in the morning papers. I haven't saved the clippings, but I have sort of remembered what she said. She said that Marilyn Monroe's vulgar performance at the Academy affair was a disgrace to all of I Hollywood. The vulgarity, she said, consisted of my wearing a dress too tight for me and wriggling my rear when I walked upholding one of the holy Oscars in my hand. I was so surprised I could hardly believe what I was reading. I called up some friends who had seen me at the ceremony and asked them if it were true. They laughed. It wasn't true, they said. They advised me to forgive a lady who had once been young and seductive herself. I have written out this accurate account of one of my "feuds" because it is typical. The feuds are all started by someone whom I have mysteriously offended-always always a woman. The truth is my tight dress and my wiggling were all in Miss Crawford's mind. She obviously had been reading too much about me. Or maybe she was just annoyed because I had never brought her a list of my wardrobe.

*From my FAQ about whether MY STORY is trustworthy:

My Story is based off of interviews that Ben Hecht conducted with Marilyn in late 1953 and early 1954 for an autobiographical work they were doing together. The project was nipped in the bud after Hecht’s assistant leaked the manuscript to a publisher in England. Marilyn lost faith in the project and the book sat away for decades after her death. It landed in the hands of the Greene family, and they published it in 1974 - 10 years after Hecht’s death. After much digging and consideration, I would not regard it as a factual autobiography. The loose information provided like her childhood, molestation, rise to stardom, relationship with Joe DiMaggio is factual, but I would not take the book word-for-word. It’s also incredibly disappointing that her name, Norma Jeane, is mis-spelled as “Norma Jean.” Marilyn’s niece, confirms this on her website as well:

MYTH: Marilyn wrote an autobiography entitled MY STORY.

FACT: No so. Ben Hecht, a Hollywood writer, concocted a half-baked manuscript based on conversations with Marilyn. The manuscript remained unpublished long after Marilyn’s death. Marilyn’s former business partner Milton Greene had it in his possession. — http://www.monaraemiracle.com/disc.html⁣⁣

In the short version, the story is a myth without factual evidence. Furthermore, there is no proof that Marilyn ever engaged in sex with a woman.

From Marilyn herself:

“A man who had kissed me once had said it was very possible I was a lesbian because I apparently had no response to males-meaning him. I didn't contradict him because I didn't know what I was. There were times even when I didn't feel human and times when all I could think of was dying. There was also the sinister fact that a well-made woman had always thrilled me to look at. Now, having fallen in love, I knew what I was. It wasn't a lesbian.” —My Story, ghost autobiography

Marilyn, however, was very supportive of gay rights, in 1960 she told W.J. Weatherby, (about Montgomery Clift): “People who aren’t fit to open the door for him sneer at his homosexuality. What do they know about it? Labels – people love putting labels on each other. Then they feel safe. People tried to make me into a lesbian. I laughed. No sex is wrong if there’s love in it.”

Following the 1953 Photoplay awards Joan Crawford made nasty comments about Marilyn to the press for her dress choice:

“Certainly her picture isn't doing business, and I'll tell you why. Sex plays a tremendously important part in every person's life. People are interested in it, intrigued with it. But they don't like to see it flaunted in their faces. Kids don't like her. Sex plays a growingly important part in their lives, too; and they don't like to see it exploited. And don't forget the women. They're the ones who pick out the movie entertainment for the family. They won't pick anything that won't be suitable for their husbands and children. The publicity has gone too far, and apparently, Miss Monroe is making the mistake of believing her publicity... She should be told that the public likes provocative feminine personalities; but it also likes to know that underneath it all the actresses are ladies.”

Marilyn’s reaction was:

"I cried all night. I've always admired Miss Crawford for being such a wonderful mother--for taking four children and giving them a fine home. Who better than I to know what that means to homeless little ones?"

#ask

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fadeprincess · 4 years

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MM didn’t create the “Saint Kate” idea: a rant

*I dont know why but I need to write this, for me* *English is not my first language* *I should be writing and essay for my english class actually*

Have you heard how lately a lot of people, (including Kate’s fans and Camb’s fans) have spread the narrative that MM its a nightmare for the whole BRF, except for Kate? Because, the fact that MM is such a problematic person makes Kate look better, almost like a saint?

I know you have, somehow there’s a lot of that going on, even here in tumblr and, I’m going to tell you why I dont believe that, and why you shouldn’t believe that either

Kate married our dear Prince William almost 10 years ago, and since then ( and before that too), she has been nothing but respectful, kind, careful, patient, and so on, in contrast to everything the people and media have said and done to her. So, why do people keep saying MM did Kate a favour? Did Kate became a different person when she appeared?, let’s see... 1.- Most people have spoken about Kate’s work ethic as an example of how MM’s presence has “influenced” her to work more, but, REALLY¿? Is that the actual reason?? Are you telling me that watching MM going for 10 engagement in a year, and then she started to complain about the BRF, and ran away to the US, and that that somehow made Kate go:

- Oh dear, I should work more PLEAAASE, MM had nothing to do with that. 2.- W&K became closer, yes, did they changed the way they treat each other to compete with H&M “newly weds” image? NO, if anything, I believe, they are trying to project a more “institutionalized“ image as a couple, to present themselves as the “future - future King & Queen”. But again, not because of MM 3.- Did she change the way she treats her kids? ABSOLUTELY NOT. No, she’s not a better mother becausse MM came to the picture. She’s the sweetest mother, she’s very concerned about her babies security, and together with Will, I am sure they have created a safe enviroment for the kids to grow knowing that with privileges comes responsability ( Yes, Uncle Ben). And the whole idea of taking her kids pictures herself was also B.MM 4.- Did she change the projects she usually supports? Mental health, children’s mental health, education, motherhood, sports?? Did she change that because MM appeared? NOOOOOO, she was doing it before and she keeps doing it now. 5.- Is she dressing in a different way? NO. Like a said before, the whole “future-future queen” image is the goal now, not MM’s doing. 6.- Did she change the way she talks? No, she’s improving but not because of MM but more because she has been in the family for years now, and I am pretty sure she’s been practicing and studying for years. I dont believe that that became a problem when MM married JH, instead, I believe that, for Kate, her public speaking was always and continues to be a personal issue. So, those are a few examples of what I am trying to proof here. I believe that the only difference now is that both the media and the public are now noticing the bright STAR that Kate is. She’s the same person, probably more mature, probably more tired, probably with lighter hair ( yup,love it). But she was always a beautiful woman inside & out, and the fact that MM came to the picture had nothing to do with that. Give women the credit they deserve for been who they are. ( that’s what a real feminist would do, M)

Lets never forget that even though Kate is not screaming what she feels, she can see everything that is said about her. How painful it must be to be questioned in every way, when you have done or said anything to deserve that hate? She deserves to be treated as an individual, an amazing and caring woman, and not to be compared with anyone around her. She’s not the mirror in which we should reflect MM actions. She deserves to be acknowledged for who she is, and not to be represented as the “opposite side” of someone else. I just need to get this out of my system, I was always the quiet one in my family, the one that no one “really knew” and just assumed that I was too serious and cold to be “a nice person”. Something happened in my family, a while ago,something really bad, and I was the one that kept the family together. Later on my mother told me:

-I never thought you were going to be the one that took care of me, I thought you didnt care, I was surprised you were there for me when no one else did- Did I become a better person the minute things turned bad and suddenly had “feelings”? No, I was always that person, the person they never had any intention to meet, until they HAD to. that’s all for now, I really need to right that essay...

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moastays · 5 years

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-eggs and vampires(f)

vampire! hyunjin x reader

summary: you never expected your best friend of 4 years to be a vampire.

warnings: little mention of blood (not really), violence (a lil) , didnt proofread

———

you didnt want to walk to the convenient store that night at all. you were already snuggled up in bed reading a fanfic when your mother yelled at you insisting that you get her some eggs so she could bake some cookies for her bingo meeting. you pretended that you were asleep but that didn't work on her and she quickly yelled again that of you didn't go get it your phone privileges would be taken. so here you are in some gray sweatpants, a black crop top, your best friend hyunjin’s over sized jacket, and some fluffy bunny slippers walking to the convenient store.

you walked quickly to the store, it was only a good five minutes away but you got an eerie feeling from the area tonight. you put in your headphones as you blasted some music walking down the street.

you made it to the convenient store quickly and walked through the door. your mom needed eggs quiet often so you came here a lot so it wasn't a surprise when your normal cashier, chanhee flashed you a big smile. “hey y/n funny to see you here again, let me guess what it is this time is it.....bread?” he said sarcastically as you rolled your eyes. “ha ha ha very funny you know why im here.” you yelled while picking up what your mom had asked for. you made your way to the cash register and chanhee began cashing you out.

you looked around and saw a guy in all black sitting at one of the tables near the front of the store.

“ hey whats up with mister badtz maru tease behind us.” you mumbled (a/n badtz maru is an all black saniro charcter if you dont know skksdhkhsk) as chanhee snickered at your joke. “i dont know hes been here for a while now but he was looking at you walking around the store, maybe thinks your hot under your trash ass outfit.” he said making you glare at him.

“you an asshole.” you retorted back.

“your total is 11.87″ he said with a devious smile as you handed him the money huffing a bit. he gave you back your change and you waved goodbye before walking out the store heading home.

as you were walking you felt a presence behind you as you walked home which cause you to pick up your pace slightly. when you made it around the corner you began to full blast run home getting scared that you were going to get attacked.

but that didnt help quite much.

you were aggressively pushed against a wall a few seconds as you began to run. you groaned at the sudden attack.

“hey beautiful.” the boy said in a low voice as your heart rate began to speed up. you tried your best to stay calm and stand tall as you struggled against his tight grip.

“hey asshole, can you let me go? this isnt a very great introduction.” you said tried to break out his strong hold.

he brought his face closer to your neck and sniffed it completely disregarding what you said. “you smell so good” he said in a mischievous tone. you heart began to race at his strange words.

oh my god im literally going to die.

you tried to fight against his strong grip but everything halted when you saw two pointy teeth coming out of his mouth.

“those are some pointy teeth you got there.” you rambled not quite sure what to do.

you tried to run away again but just ended up cutting your cheek on some sharp object against the wall. the all black emo guy’s eyes got a bright hazel color as you gulped slightly.

his face came close to your neck as you began to cry.

he’s literally a vampire im literally going to die because of some STUPID EGGS? you thought to yourself as you closed your eyes. “this will only hurt a bit love.” he said making you start repenting your sins.

but, when nothing happened you opened your eyes and looked around. you saw mysterious guy in all black tackled to the ground by some other familiar boy. they began to fight which meant this was your cue to run. you pick up your probably broken eggs and ran as fast as your legs could take you.

“im gonna die im gonna die i-“ you kept chanting until some grabbed you by the waist and covered your mouth.

“y/n dont scream its me.” a voice said which you quickly recognized as hyunjin. you turned around and faced him with a smile of relief. but when hyunjin quickly grabbed your face causing you to look into his very unfamiliar hazel eyes and licked your cheek where you were bleeding at, you could say your smile diminished.

so now you and hyunjin just stared at each other. his mouth covered in shock at what he just impulsively did and your mouth dropped to the ground as your face became redder and redder.

“y/n dont freak out let me explain.” he said as your mouth got even wider looking at his tiny fangs protruding from his mouth.

“oh my god your frickin vampire my best friend is literally a vampire HAH HAH HAH oh my god wow this is great what are you gonna suck my blood too-“ you said before he covered your mouth quickly and picked you up bridal style.

“you talk so much sometimes.” he said.

“oh bite me.” you retorted back.

“maybe soon.” he said smiling at you causing you to shut up immediately.

i guess you could say hyunjin used his “vampire speed” to get you both back to your house because you were there in seconds.

“sorry that im late mom i had to fight off a bunch of vampires before i made it home.” you said in a sarcastic tone causing her to laugh.

“yeah i’d pay a million dollars to see that if that were the case.” she said back causing you to mumble “well that was the case..” under your breath.

“hi mrs.______” hyunjin said before walking upstairs so she would see his bruises from his mini fight.

“hi sweetie!!” she said absentmindedly.

you went into your room and sat on your bed as hyunjin went into your drawer and pulled out some clothes he had left over here.

“care to explain yourself hwang.” you said he began changing causing you to cover your eyes.

he giggled at your cute gesture before sitting in front of you on your bed.

“well i guess yeah i am a vampire. i have always been one since i was little and my parents are also. vampires arent like how they are portrayed in movies; we live normal lives we die at a normal age and everything but we are just kinda sensitive to sunlight and we do need blood to survive kinda.” hyunjin said scratching his neck nervously.

“i hope this doesnt change anything between us im sorry i kept this from you.” he said quietly grabbing your hand and playing with it, like he usually did when he was nervous.

“no jinnie even tho is the wildest shit i have ever seen youre still my best friend and i love you.” you said causing him to smile. hyunjins heart raced at your understanding words. he grabbed your face and held i close to his.

“thank you for understanding i love you too.” he said before pulling you in for a kiss. your eyes widened at what was happening but you quickly responded by kissing him back causing him to smile. after a few more seconds you both broke the kiss and looked at eachother.

“well isnt this just a night full of surprises.” you said softly as he giggled.

“you could say that.” he said

“can i touch your fangs?” you blurted out making him giggle again.

“if you let me bite you sure” he said with a smirk making you blush.

“umm maybe another time lover boy” you said while rolling your eyes. you continued to lay down with hyunjin for the rest of the night, the kiss you shared racing through the both of you guys minds.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids au #stray kids vampire au #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids blurbs #stray kids boyfriend #stray kids oneshot #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #kpop fluff #kpop imagines #kpop au #kpop scenarios #hwang hyunjin

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bigsquinky · 5 years

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quick sketches from a shapiro and mulligan alien au ::3c i wrote something too for this scene. I dont write stuff very often so its rough but i will put it under the cut here

the storage corridor was dimly lit, sparks from exposed wires lighting the way down the destroyed passage. the alamanium steel doors were crushed, thrust open unnaturally with an inhuman force that rendered them useless. all the way down to the end, large dents and ruptures could be seen along the walls, identical to the ones leading back down the main hall.

Shapiro was not happy. Not happy at all

she had been away for just a moment, something to do with confirmation for a shipment or going over some trivial documents, nothing out of the ordinary of what usually happened during the day. a lot was expected of her, but there was no way she could supervise training cadets, overseeing daily maintenance, and everything else in their quadrant of the ship. she was only gone for the smallest moment, but thats all that was needed for everything to go wrong. a large crash echoed from the training bay, followed by the audible screaming of a few cadets, as well as, oddly enough, the odd roars of cheering.

whatever ruckus had occurred while she was gone left the bay in shambles, large craters on the ceiling and the walls, lights and equipment broken, everything would have to be replaced, everything brought back to code. it was going to be a bureaucratic nightmare. oh, and that one cadet would have to be taken to the emergency wing. but he was the least of Shapiros worries at the moment, he would be fine anyways, Grutians were known to be virtually indestructible, if anything, only his pride was wounded.

No, Shapiro's worries were down that busted up supply hall, and as the appointed quadrant manager, she needed to bring everything back to efficiency quickly, before more reports would be required. A large group of cadets and employees gathered behind her in the hall, all murmuring in fright and surprise at what was happening. Shapiro clicked at her belt and put a regulatory protection field between her and the crowd, preventing them from moving any closer into the supply hall. the frantic chattering of a cockroach in a labcoat was heard coming closer to the scene of the mess, as O'Reilly banged on the field, his muffled pleas to Shapiro to wait for an armoured squad fell on deaf ears. It was her responsibility, and this mess was going to be fixed, even if she had to make another one.

She made her way down that hall, mentally preparing herself for the struggle that could happen. From day one, that cadet only got in trouble, and caused her trouble. She thought that keeping him on probation would solve at least some of her problems. its not like he was doing any of this on purpose, but this Cadet Mulligan seemed to attract trouble wherever he went. It was everyone else that seemed to have problems with him, stemming from eons old beliefs in superstitions that beings like him were considered cursed, or biological mistakes. she at least knew how it felt to be looked down upon, being Atharian meant that from birth she had to work harder than most to even get to where she was now, but she still had more of a privilege than the cadet did, even if he was half Arachnian. But because Shapiro worked so hard and gave up so much to get where she was, it jsut meant it could be torn away from her so much easier, her higher ups were just waiting for her to fail, giving her all of this work knowing full well not even the most able of commanders could not complete what she managed to in a day, and she knew it. Despite all her successes, all she needed was one slip up, and it could come crumbling down beneath her. She could not afford to show weakness in a time like this, not again. not ever. she reached the end of the hall, and pushed the big storage room door open

to say it was a mess was an understatement. Shapiro could barely creak the door open enough to squeeze through with the large shelf of various supplies toppled over in disarray. the only light in the room from the working emergency lights lit the clutter in a dim, cold blue light. She quietly navigated the maze of toppled over supplies and stock, taking expert caution to make her presence in the room unknown. if one did not know about the events leading up to this mess, one would assume the ship had made course through an asteroid belt. Shapiro's pointed ears perked up as she finally heard the source of her troubles. Mulligan was there

Shrouded in the darkness, he was hard to make out. Shapiro squinted, as hard as the emergency lights tried to do their job, they were beyond overdue for repair after the beating they took today. What she could make out of his figure however, broke Shapiro into a cold sweat. Finally, she clued into the seriousness of the situation she put herself into, wishing in the back of her mind that she did listen to O'Reilly, although she would never admit he was right if she ever got out of here

Even though he was sitting, he towered over her, his head short of hitting the ceiling. the once recognizable Atharian frame that he had donned was gone, instead a colossal figure grunted and snarled, writhing in confusion as his he tried in vain to reconstruct himself. he panted heavily, clutching his head with two large arms, while four other appendages scratched at his body and braced himself to the steel storage case. Mulligan twisted and contorted but to no avail, a large fist slammed into the wall behind him, leaving a large dent. Shapiro silently stared petrified, her breath ragged. She attempted to shuffle herself backwards and out of there without being noticed, a hand moving slowly to her belt for a plasma taser, in case she needed to defend herself, but instead she misstepped, her foot knocking a small provisions can into a panel, causing the latter to reverberate, and her presence to be known

Mulligan stopped and jerked his head unnaturally towards the sound, breathing heavily, his face partially blocked by his arm. Shapiro froze, and their eyes locked. Mulligan's expression changed from a look of fury, to distress, as he let out a booming cry. he shifted back into the dark as far as he could go, his back against the wall. His breathing was rapid, with a look of horror on his face, it was like he was a scared animal backed into a corner. Crying out in a foreign tongue, what sounded like a plethora of backwards wailing to Shapiro, Mulligan's arms frantically moved into a defensive position, and attempted to cover his face. He continued to wail as Shapiro got off the floor and steadied herself, cautiously moving closer towards the creature. Mulligan tried in vain to move further back and away, but he could not move anymore, his large form made it impossible to break out of this corner. His breathing quickened, and his speech became broken and more unintelligible as he choked back tears. He violently flinched as Shapiro brought up her hand to her scouter, combing through old catalogues of alliance data to find translation as to what the cadet was saying. The scouter laboured for what seemed to be an eternity before it made a cheerful beep as it finally calculated a basic translation of the cacophony. Mulligan continued to cry out in panic as Shapiro finally read what he had been saying this whole time

" GO AWAY! AWAY FROM ME! MONSTER! AM MONSTER!"

the script had scrolled across the screen multiple times as Shapiro stood there in silence. Mulligan closed his eyes as he continued to shake and repeat the devastating message. His fingers dug deep into his face as all the sounds around him started turning into static, letting out one last painful cry before he quickly stifled himself in a swift jolt. His eyes shot open, his breathing ragged, as he looked down and saw a small purple hand lightly touching at his knee

Shapiro sat up tall, facing away from Mulligan with her hand on him, her three fingers slightly stroking and patting his thigh. He brought a quivering hand down, dwarfing her hand as he gently brought it into his. Shapiro continued to look straight forward, as Mulligan's breathing slowed and became controlled, his shoulders relaxed, and he slowly leaned forward away from the wall, and the two sat in silence

She waited a while, before she finally spoke. "Mulligan, what happened?" He sat there. Shapiro repeated herself in the same unwavering but quiet tone. "Mulligan, what happened?" Mulligan swallowed, his entire body still shivering. "It-It-It happened so fast, I couldn-couldn't stop- I just-" "Mulligan, what happened in the training bay while I was gone?" Shapiro didnt want to escalate things, but she had to get Mulligan to talk before a security squad busted through that temporary field. Mulligan stammered. "It-it-it was Giraldi. He came up to me, saying it was my fault he was taken off the scouting mission. He-he slammed me against the wall, I didnt do nothin', I just took it until-" He paused "-'til he brought up YOU." "Me?" Shapiro finally turned slowly to look up at mulligan, the faint blue glow partly illuminating his face. His expression darkened, his fangs were bared and a low growl escaped his lips. "He said shit that was deplorable, about Atharians, about you, that it was beneath him as a Grutian to take orders from a bug. Disgusting shit about what he could do and no one would stop him, and he called you, he called you a-" Mulligan's grip on Shapiro's hand tightened. She let out a small yelp as Mulligan gasped and pulled his hand away "IM SORRY!! Im sorry-im so sorry i-". Shapiro grabbed his hand with both of hers this time. She looked at him intently, her spots glowing faintly revealed the makings of a pained expression, the first time she had bared any resemblance of feelings to anyone since that time. She took his hand and rested her forehead on it, as Mulligan's breathing calmed down. Mulligan exhaled. "Af-After that, I lost it. i lost control, i could only see red as i flung him around that room. When i remembered what was happening and where i was, I freaked out and ran off here. I got, so scared that what happened last time was gonna happen again, i had to calm down fast, but i couldnt! i was still so upset about everything, and then-" He stopped. He turned his head to look at Shapiro, his purple, polycoria eyes the only thing visible in the shadows. "Im so sorry, Lieutenant Commander"

Shapiro closed her eyes, and exhaled, still keeping her grip on Mulligan's hand. "Whats done is done, Cadet. We cant change that. I dont know what will be decided by the Commander, or if a higher council will be brought in but-" She smiled slightly "- i thank you for standing up for me, Mulligan" She felt Mulligan's hand shrink in her own, and felt the growth of another finger, until it finally slowed, and he locked his fingers with hers. She looked up at him, his form back to that of a fake Atharian, and a tired smile on his face. His two eyes, once four, while displaying no signs of his metamorph mutation, are slightly red. "Thank you Shapiro." She smiled back. "Dont thank me just yet, someone will have to clean up this entire mess!" Mulligan chuckled, and the both of them walked out of the storage hall, still holding each others hands.

#my art #sketches #shapiro and mulligan #alien au #my writing #lmao its a lot but i got into it :3c

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personality-slate-blank · 5 years

Text

Catradora soulmate au

"I'll keep your little secret from Lord Hordak" the shadowy figure echoed, "Only because I do care about you adora, and dont forget what I can do if you tell anyone. It is a privilege that you have, not a right" it seemed as if the shadow smirked, sending chills down the young girl's spine, the eerie presence eventually left, leaving Adora sat on her bunk, holding back the tears as she had been taught to do, she felt a weight drop onto the bed behind her,

"Hey adora.." the small voice behind her caused her to turn, she could never get used to how vibrant Catra's eyes are. All bright and sparkling, and her hair, so dark compared to her own she grabbed on tight to her, and waited until she could speak, Catra wrapped her little tail around Adora's leg. Breathlessly, Adora whispered "Catra, I was so scared, I thought she was gonna kill me"

"Dont worry you're fine, shadow weaver loves you" Catra answered, remembering all the times she had been punished by the same woman, "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you"

Adora sat up and laughed, wetly. Grabbing Catra's hand "I can take it. We'll get through this, together! We'll be the best in the hoard now, that's probably why we aren't allowed to tell anyone"

"Yeah, they dont want us to have an advantage, why don't they let everyone see like this?"

"I don't know Catra, but you heard Shadow weaver, we better not talk about it any more"

"Yeah... ok. Are you ok to go back out?"

"Yeah, race you!"

"No fair!"

Since being 6 years old, Adora had seen in colour, a gift none of her other teammates shared, it put her ahead in combat training, but she still worked so hard to attain the ranks and positions she did, after one almost devastating training session, she narrowly beat Catra, who came in at the last second, to win. Dusting herself off, she tried not to linger on Catra's eyes as she walked over to their commander for a brief and progress update, basically a summary of what they had done wrong, Adora got full marks though, so when shadow weaver asked for her, she left and wouldn't miss anything. Not that she had a choice to follow the woman, but better her than Catra getting this talk. So she sighed inwardly before asking what shadow weaver wanted now.

"CATRA! CATRA COME HERE!" the excitement in Adora's voice roused the other girl from her nap so she kicked down the air vent and dropped behind her friend with a shout, "Hey adora!", causing the other girl to jump in fright "That never gets old, so what are you yelling about?"

"Look!" Adora said, pointing to her chest, a bright yellow badge was displayed there with the two great wings of the hoard displayed on it

"Oh wow, congrats, you're officially a force captain, huh? and active dudy, damn, give Brightmoon hell for me"

"Yeah the orientation is tomorrow night, I was assigned last minute, so I'm gonna study up"

"Boring! Don't you wanna do something fun?"

"Fun like stealing a skiff? Our little trek can always be classed as recon, come on, it'll be fun!"

"LETS BLOW SOMETHING UP!... Wait, aren't you concerned about shadow weaver?"

"Didnt you see her this afternoon? she was all weak, her hair was barely floating"

That was normally a sign she wouldn't be around for a few days, locked in with the giant red rock, now would be the best time if they were going to go anywhere, Catra leaped off her perch on the top bunk and walked towards the door, turning back to hold out her hand, Adora smiled, she couldn't resist those eyes, they both wanted an adventure. She grabbed her hand and ran down the stairs.

..........................

She awoke in a cold sweat, Catra barely moved at her feet, that decided it, she needed to go back, into the woods, she needed answers, the sword seemed to pull her towards it and now it haunts her dreams, no thanks. Quietly getting up and pulling on her jacket adora headed out. Concentrating on getting another skiff, she hadn't noticed Catra coming up behind her, "what are you doing?"

Grabbing her and shoving her into the wall as the drone security bot passed Adora quietened the other girl, "shhh.... look Catra, I know I saw something out there, it feels important, I know it"

"Sounds good, let's go!"

"No, you should stay here, shadow weaver will be waking back up soon, and who knows what she'd do to you, please just trust me, I'll be back before anyone knows I'm gone" and with that she ran around the corner, down the stairs

"I would know you've gone"

..........................

It was a lonesome journey, watching out for patrols and then abandoning the skiff just inside the woods, choosing to trek through the underbrush as it is quieter, colour seemed to make no difference in here everything was dark, dark green, dark blue, dark grey, not to mention she had no idea how to find this sword, this was going to be a long night. She sighed and continued crawling, looking out for ethereal blue lights or anything in the woods that might try to kill her, read: everything

Talking to herself, she saw said blue light creeped into the clearing. 'The sword! Wait, what is that? Voices? Getting closer, they clearly dont care about being spotted, maybe guards patrol these woods, damn, I'll just have to grab the sword and run!'

As they spotted her, the smaller one yelled "HOARD SOLDIER!" and they both started war cries, Adora sprinted to the sword and could almost touch it, before a puff of sparkles appeared and the small one with it glaring at her. Adora reached for the sword before the young girl teleported a few feet away, clutching it tightly.

'A princess, right, can I take a princess? Yeah, in training. She can teleport so binding won't work, just need the sword, I dont want to have to hurt her'

She threw the sword to her companion, he dropped his bow to catch it, she could try to take him on, especially unarmed, he ran with it and the princess spawned on top of her back, she shook her off violently, throwing a bola at his legs and sprinting for the sword again

"Stand down, I don't want to hurt you"

"Since when do hoard soldiers not want to hurt anyone?" The princess yelled, now in front of her, throwing a sort of smoke bomb of glitter.

They wrestled for the sword, but just as Adora touched it, a bright flash of light hit and Adora was dragged into her dream, "My name is Lighthope"...

...................

She awoke bound by ropes, the princess staring her in the face, yelling "Hoard spy! How did you get so far into the whispering woods?"

"I... walked in? And I'm not a spy. Who are you?"

"I ask the questions. The whispering woods are rebellion territory, you were lucky to make it as far as you did"

She dragged her comrade off and not-so-subtly whispered about bringing her to Brightmoon, an excellent chance for reconisance, if she survives. That's a big if. They would probably take her for interrogation, she could handle that, after all, it's only a little bit.... of a lot of pain. Well Shadow weaver was no push over, though she could be quite lenient sometimes, oh what would Catra do? She knew how to talk to people

They got up and walked, supposedly back to Brightmoon, though with the way her two captors, bow and glimmer apparently, argued, they may not be going the right way. The boy, bow, tried to make small talk, a big mistake, Adora couldn't stop herself from almost shouting, "You know she's a princess right? Princesses are a dangerous threat to all of Etheria! How can you follow her? It's weird, her hair is literally pink and sparkly, that's not normal"

"Wow, thats what they teach in the hoa- Wait, you can see in colour? You can see the pink?"

"What do you mean that's what they teach?"

"Woah, woah, wait up. You can see in colour?"

"Yes, why?"

"Hoard soldiers have soulmates... GLIMMER! GLIMMER, LISTEN TO THIS!"

"What are soulmates, what are you on about?"

The princess popped over, looking annoyed, "Bow this better be important or so help me"-

"This hoard soldier can see in colour!"

"What?!?"

"I know! This means that myths were true!"

"Nope, no way, they cannot be like us, not with the things they do"

With that Glimmer stormed off, a few seconds later they heard her gasp and Bow dragged her over.

Tents were destroyed, rubble lay strewn, there were no people to be found. A dead bot was abandoned to the side. It had hoard markings, the great wings. Emblazoned red like the blood on the floor. "This is all the hoard ever does, they can't just do this, they just kill and steal and ruin our land"

That's what the hoard does? What about helping and improving the lives of those part of it? Was this a secret rebel base? Is that it? There's no technology to suggest so, but that would mean... no she cant think it. A heavy silence weighed in the group as Glimmer dried her tears, before storming off ahead. Only to quickly return running through the brush, "There's something out there!"...

...............

Everywhere is so beautiful, all the town, the people, the animals, so much joy in one place, from the darkness of the whispering woods to this place of bright colour, it would be a shame to miss this, it's nothing compared to the darkness of the fright zone.

When the hoard attacked this innocent town, Adora was thrown into the chaos, dragging that damn sword with her. It was chaos, bloody chaos, hoard soldiers left and right, blasts and shocks rocking the earth. She stood before the cannons as She-ra, etheral and eternal, glowing as she struck down the weapons, out of control in an ordered way. However upon seeing those eyes though, peering through the smoke, those vibrant, unforgettable eyes, her hands shook and her resolve crumbled. She returned to her original form as soldiers closed in, Catra ran and bowled her over, "Adora? I'm so glad you're safe! Shadow weaver's throwing a fit", smiling as she said it, holding Adora tightly, "Yeah, it'd be funny if she weren't such a horrible person" the last bit fell flat and a shudder ran through them both, "Adora, please, come home"

Adora just looked at her shocked that she could consider it with the devastation around them, "Catra.. I can't, I need to understand myself and I cannot stand what the hoard is doing, dont you see? These are innocent people!"

"That never mattered before, come on Adora"

"I didnt know before! Call me stupid, call me naive, but I wanted to believe what they told us, so I did, but now, its different, we're different, Catra. All these beside you cannot see the blue sky, or the grass or even those that they hurt, I didn't for a long time, I really hurt you, and I know that I can't apologise enough, I'm so sorry. Truely. But I won't go back, they have answers and I need them. I'm going to Brightmoon, for myself, are you coming with me?" Adora offered her hand out to the girl sat opposite with an honest smile, a small circle of hoard soldiers had gathered. It was now or never.

"Please Catra, I need you by my side again"

"...Ok, let's do this!" Catra sprung to her feet, ignoring Adora's offered hand and drew out two weapons, handing one off to Adora, "I think you'll understand this a little better than that oversized beast" Catra said before throwing herself tooth and claw into the fray, Adora followed shortly after. When Adora met up with Bow and Glimmer the hoard threat was eliminated, the two joined arms as Adora explained what had happened, they distrusted Catra, but agreed to give her the answers that she desired.

#catra #adora #catradora #spop #shera #she ra

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mywildloves · 7 years

Text

So, let me give you guys an idea of whats been going on since I was active on a daily basis here.

Ive finally admitted to myself that the fact that I lost my job was my fault. I developed a severe mental illness due a multitude of factors I had no control over, but, my illness and the therapy got in the way of my job performance, and my presence in the lab. Its like, yeah I didnt expect my brain to decompose and I certainly didnt know how to deal with that, but at the same time the responsibility of trying to do the very best I could was mine. And I didnt. And thats why Im here. I carry a lot of guilt about it.

Being unemployed for this long has been really scary. Ive been out of work since June and Ive only had two interviews and nothings come out of them. I have a feeling that no one in NYC will take me because they all know my boss and they dont want him to think theyve “poached” me from his lab. That was one of the concerns that a woman from one institution had. She said she still had to keep up a relationship with the members of the microscopy community, and didnt want my employment with her to cause a deterioration of the relationship she has with my former lab. Could be bullshit, maybe hiring me is a risk... and its hard to know that that fact IS my fault. That I should have handled the therapy and the effect of my mental illness more professionally. They call me because Im qualified, but then they wont take me because of where I used to work. I feel like either I need to move to a new state, or change professions. I love microscopy though. I do. I want to stay there. I want to contribute to the knowledge. I want to be part of the effort. Science excites me.

Theres one job that Im still waiting on, and its the one I REALLY REALLY WANT, but I havent gotten much of a response to the few emails Ive sent. Im showing them that Im enthusiastic about the position without being overbearing and irritating. I sent the guy I interviewed with a “thank you for your time” email, like youre supposed to. And then I sent him an email with a few questions, since he said it would be understandable that after the interview I might have some questions that didnt come to mind during the interview. No answer. Then I emailed his assistant to see if the position had been filled and she said that nothing has happened with that position that shes aware of and that he and the other PI on the project have been travelling a lot, and to “stay tuned” for more info. The feeling I got from that interview was that they werent in a rush to get someone.

I asked him if waiting for me to relocate would be an issue as this position is in Boston and finding a place to live, a school for my kids, some kind of day care situation, etc, would take time. His answer was “Well, were not interested in finding the person who can start as soon as possible, were looking for the right person. If you told me you couldnt make it until May, then we might have to talk about getting that time frame a little closer” So... Im not out of the pool. He didnt even want references as he said that he knew a bunch of people from Einstein (where I used to work) that now work for their company. I know who hes talking about, and thats a very very very good thing.

Strangely, a company based in France that works on temperature controllers for microscopes contacted me. That was the thing I was trying to patent, and build while I was working at my old job. No one knows about that except for you guys, vaguely, and the people in my old lab. How word got to some start up company in France is beyond me.

Ugh, enough about the job thing. I know, that was a lot but thats whats front and center here.

In other news, Im now 125 lbs! Much better than the 105 lbs I had dropped to. It was gross. Being 105 lbs isnt gross, but the quickness at which I lost it gave me saggy skin and even though I looked good in clothes, naked, I was a mess. Just a horror show. Now Im filling it out and the yoga is REALLY helping me tone up. Ive been eating more and taking the kids to the playground after school a lot (since winter will be here before you know it and those days will be few and far between). When I take them to the park I dont do the sitting on the bench playing with my phone thing. I play. I love the playground, so while Im having fun Im also moving and exercising. All of Dylans friends like me a lot because I engage them while their parents are all squawking in the parent clique, and Im there to have fun with them all. Dylans “girlfriend” really likes me too. We had a jumping competition last time I went. Who could jump the longest off of the highest step on this one jungle gym thing. It was like 4 steps high, so I wasnt putting her in danger, but it was cute. I did save her from some bigger boys that were picking her up and swinging her around and boy did I read them the riot act.

Dylan got 100% on his first test, which was a spelling test, and of course Im so proud of him, but at the same time Im also pretty peeved that he had to take a test in the first grade. I dont know, maybe Im too soft, but at 6 years old theyre still babies and they dont need tests yet. What if they dont do well? Thats hard for a 6 year old. Its unnecessary at their age IMO.

Theres so much more but Ive written a shit ton here that no one is going to read because of length, so Ill write more as I think about it. Its just a hard time right now, but really Im making the best of it. Im owning my shit and trying as hard as I can to fix it. The time Im getting with my kids is really awesome, and its a privilege honestly. Ill cherish this forever. I wish I could make some money while doing it, but thats almost impossible after not having established myself at any kind of company. I dont even care what I do. I just want to stay here. I thought about selling artwork but Im afraid Im not good enough for that. Theres just so much to figure out but not a whole lot of time.

Anyway, talk soon.

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s3venpounds · 6 years

Note

1 - 40

jesus buddy, if you wanted to know more about me just friend me somewhere and talk to me facebook,discord,overwatch,psn, snapchat w.e! haha i dont bite!

also this is gonna be really feckin long

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

How to train your dragon (1 and 2 i can’t decide) I fucking LOVE dragons. the idea to fucking ride one in the sky?!?! fucking DOPE. the idea that theyre also SCALY DOGS?!?!? MOTHER.FUCKING.DOPE. i just associate the idea of freedom with flying through the sky and that feeling was conveyed really well in that movie so i really loved it!

2: Talk about your first kiss.

honestly? kinda dumb now that i look back on it. it was a peck, i wasn’t even like mentally prepared and it happened way faster than i thought. If i knew it was going to happen i would have really like milked that fucker. i woulda went romance movie on that shit with all the extra shit like groping and weird inhaling noises and kissing so hard your teeth almost clink together. but yknow coulda woulda shoulda

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

theyre not a part of my life anymore which admittedly fucking sucks but i think its for the better at least for them. do i wish it worked out and we were together? i mean yeah duh, the reasons i fell for them don’t fucking disintegrate/ i just have more information than i had when i first met that person. will i actually actively pursuit them in the chance to be with them again? hell no. i’m tired. and i’ve seen enough “ self confidence” posts on here to think “ hey if someone really wanted me in their life they would go out of their way to do so and seeing as they haven’t even messaged me in god knows how long then its safe to say theyre off being happy

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

man i haven’t seen this person is literally almost 20 years. I need to apologize. or at the very fucking least, see how theyre been doing. its driving me mad just trying to picture how theyre living and just coming up with a giant question mark.

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

lets be real bro most of my birthdays have been shit so i gave up on tryna make them memorable or fun, ‘s just another day to me. i mean the best one would have to be this one time i got a gameboy advance but thats pretty much it

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

yknow how everyone says “ OH MY GOD WE SHOULD KEEP IN TOUCH” once you move? yeah thats bullshit. honest to god bullshit. i kept tabs on everyone when i moved to a different city and when i came down to visit for my birthday inviting all those people who supposed “wanted to keep in touch with me” literally 1 person showed up. and i think they only showed up because our parents were friends too. so yeah. fuck people sometimes.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

hygiene. breath, hair, clothes, eating habits, manners, anything that might make me come off as unclean to people im trying to impress drives me off the fucking wall. specially at formal events. if im wearing snazzy clothing at like a suite 16 or a debut or a wedding bet you $100 that im adjusting little aspects of my appearance every like 15 seconds. eating mints the second one is finished, trying not to be too close to someones face when talking, even when i fucking fart i always take note of which way the wind is blowing, or im sitting down on something that can absorb the stench, how much pressure is in my gut and how much of it can i let out in small bursts to avoid sound. that or asian dick syndrome. yknow. haha asians got a small dick? that kinda shit bugs me a bit. not a ton but more than i thought it would

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.(i am literally only 8 questions in and my fingers are a little sore from typing)

my singing and impressions? i once scared some friends when i imitated a party blower kazoo thingy since the ones they bought from the dollarstore didnt make any sound. same as my singing, i tend to get high scores and i impressed my cousins once with a perfect score on a backstreet boys song HEH

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

my biceps? theyre not like chris hemsworth level of meaty but like when i worked at this physically demanding job my coworkers are like “ woah dude ur arms are different from mine, if you worked out theyd look so ripped” that kinda stuck with me for a while specially knowing they were a football jock and they had their own special diet and fitness instructor or something. i also like my smile/ jaw shape? my hair can look pretty good too sometimes

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

my family is very passive aggressive oh and racist

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

i once had this dream where i had reallllly passionate sex and it felt real and i could feel like every little detail down to like hairs brushing my skin on my arms and shit. i swear to this day it was a modern day succubus or something

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

that dream where i was a bird and flying away from”something” just all my instincts telling me to RUN. or that dream where i got shot in the hand, chest then the head and before i blacked out i said “Ch*****” who incidentally i was going to see later that day which made things very awkward at least for me

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

it was pretty good. looking back i was probably shit in bed hahaha first time so of course theres shit to work out.

14: Talk about a vacation.

hit on by a cousin AND their gay friend. to which the cousin threatened me with self harm but the gay friend took the rejection very easily it was almost baffling in comparison (although the second the settled down they started to bash on me for rejecting their friend) also ate some REALLLLLY garlic covered crab the smell took 5 washes to get out… also got to ride in the back of a truck as its driving at like 120 mph and flying off all these little hills and tracking mud everywhere it was great

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

she was in my arms fast asleep and i took a photo. she didnt like that but let me keep the pic so that was nice.

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

i can’t really remember any that stand out they were all equally fun. dont get me wrong some were super fun its just that it was also followed by a lot of bad choices that kinda take it down a notch. i will say this one party a friend hosted where i got to meet a BUNCH of new people. i also snorted some fundip powder as a dare. they refuse to let it go so i figure might as well own it. i also landed some sweet shots in beerpong

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

ellen paige would be dope to be friends with. same with zendaya. and gal gadot just so i can like sit in her presence and be in awe for extended periods of time

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

i was cheating on a test and my so called friend ratted me out never talked to him again that white privilege lookin hoe

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

i stopped talking to a friend that id thought i would be friends with for my whole life. i also became friends with my current best friend

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

people are dumb. drama is dumb. people who seek out this kinda shit needa leave me the hell alone. and if youre going to challenge me to a fight, tell me about said fight so i can show up. dont march around telling people ur gonna fight me and not tell me so i dont show up and make it look like i pussied out. like for real?

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

oh yeah like the vacation one said : shit got really weird. and to have that sorta conversation on spotty wifi in an airport in south korea meaning jet lag is also disorienting af

22: Talk about your worst fear.

death. nuff said

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

it sucked but it happens so like.? lmao i dont really know waht to say but it sucked

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

i have a horrible memory and on top of that my mind moves at like 32754895274 miles a second so i dont keep stuff in mind a lot in the first place. i can’t really think of anything that had so much impact that i’ve remembered it. well i mean there was this one song a friend told me about in a letter and to this day i’ve kept remembering the same verse “ maybe if we met each other under a different sky maybe things would be much better between you and i”

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

we just….grew apart. and if we tried to be friends now im sure there would be tension and unease. hes just in a different friend circle. i dont hate him for it i just feel like hes living in a world of white and im living in a world of black like its just plain and simple

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

on the computer. i can’t rest when im sick. i just keep trudging along. school, work, hangouts, i still go. i just take precautions to not spread it

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

neck? shoulder? hands? face? hair? idk dood i don’t really like specific places more of how WELL those parts can mesh together to make this beautiful being.

28: Talk about your fetishes.

y’all about to learn some shit because im gonna teach you a thing about me. pov’s, deepthroat/gagging, emo/goth, anal, massage, ropes and power trips, asians, tentacles if im feeling kinky, hentai /cartoon shit, glory holes, dirty talk and asmr (who woulda thought theres porn for that huh?), ahegao(being fucked silly or till your mind breaks into being nothing but a cumdump), swallowing, threesomes, double penetration, latex is pretty cool too, cosplays are nice if the characters are ones i recognize, tittyfucks, source film maker porn of like video game characters are getting pretty professional nowadays, lesbian, orgys, teenage girls and old ass guys, horse dicks and girls who try to take em, i got turned on by a girl fucking a dog once so i guess bestiality is a thing, oh i saw this scene in a movie im not sure if it was real it seems kinda hazy but it involved necrophilia but im not sure if it turned me on or it was so weird i’ve memorized it because of how weird it was. chicks with dicks fucking other chicks. and a plethora of other weird shit. i dont know what fetishes count and what doesn’t so i just listed whatever came to mind as i wrote have fun with that shit

29: Talk about what turns you on.

short hair, asian heritage, playful and lighthearted but can be lustful as all hell, shorter than me, big boobs is a plus, mid driffs, underboob, small frame or face, scent( god if you smell good thats instant brownie points with me), likes anime, high pitch voices are cute as hell, very physically intimate, loves PDA’s, yeah i can’t really think of much

30: Talk about what turns you off.

uhh smells bad?, when their personality is bland/boring, or just shit. over timidness i get being shy but like if you can’t trust that the person youre interested in then like what am i supposed to do. i literally dated a girl who was so sheepish all i could do was ask her yes or no questions. and honestly that got old really fucking fast. i get she was trying but like i can only finesse so much of a relationship man. bad hygiene holy fuck. if you got like ear wax showin our ur ears, or like a bleeding pimple in plain view and refuse to at least dab it with a wet cloth or tissue then pls its not gonna work out. dandruff oh my gOD. dandruff would drive me nuts. like if i get close enough to see individual fucking flakes im gonna tear my whole scalp off

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

i feel like our bodies stop responding but our “souls” are still present there trapped screaming and trying to move our body but can’t. and thats why burials and shit sound so terrifying

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

dont need to. im a couple blocks away i can visit it any time. (my elementary and middle school the neighbourhood surrounding it was also where i used to live so that was dope)

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

i force myself to get MORE sad so i can get it all out in one go and much faster. like how the human mind can only get so angry that the brain gives up and just tries to find another way to spend its time.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

when i was a kid me and bunch of other kids decided to clog a slide with just a shit ton of people and one of my friends who came after me kept pushing me to the point i was hanging on for dear life using only my knee down that was wedged between a fat kid and my friend who went after me. i fell off eventually knocking skulls with another kid near the end of the slide(this slide was shaped like a spring so that explains why there were kids under me) my arm bend backwards for a sec after hitting another kid’s legs, and then i fell chest and fast first on the asphalt winding myself. kids are rugged as all hell man they can really take a hit. i walked it off but god damn if i didnt get bruises and shit afterwards. or that time i got beaten so bad by father dearest because work was stressful and i ended up blacking out. wasn’t even allowed to go to the hospital. just kinda laid down in my room with bruises all over.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

relying on people for happiness. distracting myself from sadness and responsibilities. procrastinating in general

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

i dont really feel guilt save for some specific circumstances. ask any of my friends. does that mean im a sociopath or whatever?

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

they just got out of a relationship with someone and was avoiding them profusely and i just started to get to know them. we got to the point that when she was ready we could date. little did i know that later, she would end up dating a friend of mine. to which i promptly had the appropriate reaction of crying myself to sleep, sending that friend a text message with all the things he should know to keep that girl happy and ultimately smashing a lot of things (some bottles actually because we were gonna build a sculpture or something together with em. man middle school was a fucking RIDE)

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

mmmmmm i would prefer to keep those underwraps.

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

family will be there for you in the end. (not because they want to but because the world teaches them that they have to meaning they will help just in their own way and to their own ends.) friends come and go. they always have always will. anyone who says forever is a fuckin idiot. lovers come and go thats just a natural part of growing up. and lets be real all the people that said they would self harm ultimately never did so dont stress it so much god damn(but dont let it slide either)

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

how about the end of my interest in anime and video games. nothing seems to really interest me anymore. everything is just kinda “meh”

#ask me shit #its fun to tell people way more shit than they wanted

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bronzeflower · 7 years

Text

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

-----

Chapter 6: A Message At Long Last

It had been days since you saw the cute guy, and you have basically given up any sort of hope that he would actually message you.

To be fair, it had only been one or two days, but still. Anyway, you still had stuff to work on, so there really wasn’t any use in moping about a cute guy you talked to for a grand total of four minutes and thirteen seconds.

Someone was pestering you, so you decided to answer, only to find that it was a handle you didn’t recognize.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: I CANNOT FUCKING *BELIEVE* THAT YOU ARE THE SAME FUCKING ASSHOLE THAT TEREZI GAVE ME THE CHUMHANDLE TO.

CG: I WASN’T GOING TO TROLL A DUMBASS LIKE THAT, SO I DIDN’T FOR WEEKS BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE A STUPID WASTE OF THE PRECIOUS AMOUNT OF TIME I HAVE LEFT. CG: AND YET, HERE I AM. CG: MESSAGING YOU. CG: BECAUSE I DECIDED THAT THERE WAS A POSSIBILITY THAT YOU WEREN’T A COMPLETELY AWFUL PERSON. CG: ALSO, IF YOU HAVEN’T FIGURED IT OUT YET, I’M THE GUY WHO WORKS AT ROSEMARY. CG: YOU KNOW, THE STORE YOU WENT TO GET A SUIT AT.

TG: holy shit you actually messaged me TG: this is the best goddamned day of my entire life TG: ive been blessed with your presence

CG: DAMN RIGHT YOU HAVE.

TG: you seem a lot more angry over text though

CG: IN CASE YOU FAILED TO NOTICE, I WAS AT WORK WHEN I MET YOU. CG: I WAS ACTING “PROFESSIONAL.” CG: PEOPLE DON’T USUALLY TAKE KINDLY TO OTHERS YELLING INSULTS AND CURSE WORDS INTO THEIR AURICULAR SPONGE CLOTS

TG: so are you always this angry when youre not at work

CG: YES.

TG: goddamn TG: also, you know tz???

CG: YEAH, SHE’S A CHILDHOOD FRIEND, AND SHE ALSO DEMANDED TO GIVE ME YOUR CHUMHANDLE DESPITE ME SAYING THAT I ABSOLUTELY DID *NOT* WANT IT. CG: BUT YOU GAVE ME YOUR CHUMHANDLE ANYWAY, SO IT’S NOT LIKE IT MATTERED.

TG: wait but why did she give you my chumhandle in the first place TG: did she just up and decide that we needed to be friends because she and me are friends and so are you and her

CG: NO. SHE GAVE IT TO ME BECAUSE I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE NEW FUCKING MEMES GOING AROUND THAT ARE BASED ON A VIDEO YOU MADE. CG: I COULD MAYBE HANDLE THE VIDEO. CG: IT WAS KIND OF FUNNY, AND KANAYA SAID I SHOULD TRY LAUGHING AT MY PAST MISTAKES INSTEAD OF GETTING ANGRY AT THEM. CG: BUT THE MEMES. OH GOD THE MEMES. CG: THEY WERE THE MOST HORRIFIC THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE, AND THAT’S PRETTY FUCKING DIFFICULT THING TO ACCOMPLISH, SO I GUESS I AM FORCED TO GIVE PROPS TO THAT. CG: BUT THAT DOES NOT NEGATE THE ESTABLISHED *FACT* THAT THEY ARE THE WORST THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY EXISTENCE. CG: THEY MAKE ME WANT TO STAB MY EYES OUT AND BE BLIND FOR THE REST OF MY WAKING LIFE. CG: I WON’T EVEN GET TEREZI TO TEACH ME HOW TO SEE BECAUSE THAT WOULD ENABLE ME TO BE ABLE TO TAKE A WHIFF OF THE SHIT PEOPLE PUT ON THE INTERNET. CG: I’LL JUST GO THROUGHOUT MY LIFE BEING PERFECTLY FUCKING CONTENT WITH BEING ABLE TO SEE JACK SHIT.

TG: are you the guy who sent me that ten page rant then TG: because that was fucking amazing TG: best goddamn thing i ever seen TG: highlight of the year

CG: IF THOSE GOD-FORSAKEN MEMES BECOME THE MEME OF THE YEAR, I WILL FIND SOME WAY TO MURDER YOU IN THE MOST SLOW AND PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE.

TG: ouch TG: guess im going to have to resign myself to my death TG: because that meme is the best TG: it will live on for generations TG: it will never get old TG: we will be on the edge of death all wrinkled and dying of whatever old people die of TG: like a heart attack or something TG: and then i will turn to the nearest person and speak with my dying breath TG: “maybe one day my death will come so i never have to look at your god-forsaken channel ever again, you complete and utter douche muffin” TG: and then theyll start laughing because they love that fucking meme TG: memorized the entire goddamned thing TG: it will be taught in schools TG: kids will have to recite an excerpt of it to the class TG: analyze the shit out of it TG: where does all this guys anger come from TG: nobody knows TG: theyll just have to guess until theyre blue in the face

CG: THE WORDS. THEY DON’T STOP. CG: I’VE JUST BEEN OVER HERE POLITELY WAITING TO SEE IF YOU WOULD BURN YOURSELF OUT. CG: BUT APPARENTLY YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO GO ON FOR UNTIL AFTER THE UNIVERSE END UNLESS SOMEONE SHUTS YOU UP. CG: AND CLEARLY THE UNIVERSE HAS GRANTED ME THIS VERY IMPORTANT RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE SURE YOU DON’T RUN YOUR MOUTH FOR ALL ETERNITY.

TG: clearly the greatest honor to ever be granted to someone TG: the privilege to tell the dave strider to shut his pothole

CG: SHUT YOUR POTHOLE.

TG: hahahaha TG: on a completely different note what even made you write a ten page rant about my channel anyways

CG: MOSTLY THE FACT THAT IT WAS A STUPID CHANNEL. CG: BUT ALSO THE FACT THAT IT WAS THREE AM, AND I HADN’T SLEPT FOR A WHILE.

TG: so what youre telling me is TG: you *actually* sent me a ten page rant when you were that sleep deprived TG: no wonder it was so incoherent

CG: I COULD PROBABLY HAVE WRITTEN IT BETTER IF I WASN’T SO TIRED. CG: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST GODDAMNED PIECE OF WRITING IN ALL OF PARADOX SPACE CG: NOTHING ELSE COULD EVER COMPETE TO THE MASTERPIECE I WOULD HAVE CREATED. CG: HOWEVER, INSTEAD, MY PAST SELF, AND BY THAT I MEAN *MYSELF*, WRITES A HEAPING PILE OF FESTERING SHIT.

TG: point taken TG: the question here is TG: will you ever write this masterpiece TG: will i ever get the pleasure of reading this glorious piece of hate mail directed towards yours truly

CG: NO.

TG: wow harsh TG: shut down immediately TG: didnt even get to go on a weirdly personal tangent TG: would have been fantastic TG: i have no conceivable idea of where it would have gone TG: but i can guarantee it would have been the second best thing in the universe TG: second only to the hypothetical rewrite of the glorious hate mail that you sent me

CG: AND IT WILL STAY HYPOTHETICAL FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. CG: I REFUSE TO EMBARRASS MYSELF LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN. CG: HOW DID I EVEN GET TO THE POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I AM MESSAGING YOU. CG: OH, WAIT. NOW I REMEMBER. CG: IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T A COMPLETE ASSHOLE IN PERSON. CG: CLEARLY THAT DOES NOT TRANSFER OVER TO TEXT.

TG: im hurt karkat

CG: SUCK IT UP, DINGUS.

TG: dave actually TG: i dont know if i actually introduced myself to you

CG: I DON’T THINK YOU DID EITHER. CG: ALTHOUGH, I THINK YOUR SISTER INTRODUCED YOU, BUT IT OCCURS TO ME THAT I DIDN’T ACTUALLY CATCH YOUR NAME WHEN SHE SAID IT. CG: IT’S A MIRACLE YOU ACTUALLY REMEMBERED MY NAME.

TG: what can i say im good with names TG: and also multiple people said it in my presence so i guess there is also that

CG: I GUESS

TG: …

CG: …

TG: …

CG: …

CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE BOTH OF US ARE OUT OF THINGS TO SAY FOR ONCE.

TG: huh TG: i suppose so TG: …

CG: I GUESS YOU COULD PESTER ME IF YOU EVER FIND SOMETHING TO RUN YOUR MOUTH ABOUT. CG: OR I’LL TROLL YOU ABOUT SOMETHING OR OTHER. CG: LATER THOUGH. CG: BYE.

TG: see ya

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

You sigh, a bit sad that the conversation ended, and then you immediately decide to inform others of this happening.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: rose rose youll never guess what happened

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] is an idle chum! --

TG: i guess you will never guess what happened since you arent even hear to guess TG: what are you even doing TG: please dont tell me you went into your writing bunker TG: if you did i wont be able to talk to you for at least a week if not more TG: and no one else will be able to either TG: what if kanaya tries to message you TG: assuming you actually exchanged contact information TG: how long ago did you even do that TG: how could you not tell your own brother that you got a girls chumhandle TG: have you asked her out yet TG: it would be great if you were on a date instead of in the writing bunker TG: then people could actually contact you and you wouldnt be completely isolating yourself from the rest of the world other than brief trips outside to get food TG: anyway karkat messaged me and we had a conversation TG: i would tell you more about it but it seems you are an idle chum TG: pester me later if you want the details

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

TG: tz youll never guess what just happened

GC: 1M GO1NG TO T4K3 4 W1LD GU3SS 4ND S4Y TH4T K4RK4T F1N4LLY GOT 4ROUND TO M3SS4G1NG YOU

TG: youd be correct TG: how did you know TG: i mean i know that he got my chumhandle from you but also he refused to message me for weeks

GC: 1 H4V3 4 C3RT41N T4L3NT FOR KNOW1NG TH3S3 SORTS OF TH1NGS GC: 4ND 4LSO K4RK4T 1S Y3LL1NG 4T M3 1N 4NOTH3R CH4T GC: 1 H4V3 OPT3D TO 1GNOR3 H1M FOR NOW GC: 4NYW4Y, WH4T D1D YOU TWO T4LK 4BOUT

TG: we talked about memes

CG: M3M3S?

TG: yes memes TG: specifically the memes that erupted after the rant video

GC: OF COURS3 GC: H3 W4S V3RY 4NGRY 4BOUT THOS3 GC: WH1CH R3M1NDS M3, WHY D1D H3 M3SS4G3 YOU 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3 1F H3 W4S SO 4G41NST 1T B3FOR3?

TG: okay so remember the cute boy i was talking about like two days ago

GC: Y34H

TG: that was karkat

GC: … GC: … GC: …

TG: terezi?? TG: did i actually break you or do you just need a moment to process the information i just gave you TG: yo tz i need some confirmation that you did not just die from an overload of information TG: hit me up with your response TG: are you alive

GC: NO

TG: thank god youre not dead

GC: TH4TS WH4T TH3 GOV3RNM3NT W4NTS YOU TO TH1NK

TG: shit youre right TG: the government is doing all this nasty shit and now they are making it so we think we arent dead TG: how do we know the government isnt dead though

GC: SHHHHHH GC: TH3S3 4R3 TOP S3CR3T GOV3RNM3NT S3CR3TS YOUR3 SPR34D1NG 4BOUT GC: YOUV3 GOT TO B3 MOR3 D1SCR3T3

TG: discrete is my middle name

GC: NO, YOUR3 M1DDL3 N4M3 1S 3L1Z4B3TH

TG: shit you got me there

GC: 4ND YOU 4R3 4BOUT 4S D1SCR3T3 4S 4 TR41N CR4SH GC: YOU COULDNT BE D1SCR3T3 1F YOUR L1F3 D3P3ND3D ON 1T

TG: those are some harsh words

GC: 4R3 TH3Y WRONG?

TG: …

GC: 1 R3ST MY C4S3 GC: 4NYW4Y, W3 H4V3 GOTT3N 3NT1IR3LY OFF TR4CK FROM TH3 CONV3RS4T1ON 4T H4ND GC: R3G4RDL3SS OF HOW MUCH FUN W3 W3R3 H4V1NG W1TH TH1S S3CR3CY T4LK GC: WH4T 4BOUT K4RK4T M33T1NG YOU 1N R34L L1F3 CH4NG3D H1S M1ND 4BOUT M3SS4G1NG YOU?

TG: i honestly dont know for sure but he said something about me actually not seeming like a complete douchebag in real life

GC: M4K3S S3NS3 W1TH HOW FLUST3R3D 1 4M 4SSUM1NG YOU W3R3 GC: TH3 GUY W4S COMPL41N1NG HOW YOU W3R3 COMPL3T3LY MONOTON3 1N 4LL OF YOUR V1D3OS GC: 4ND TH3N H3 S33S YOU H4V3 4N 4CTU4L 3MOT1ON >:O GC: 3SP3C14LLY 4N 3MOT1ON WH3R3 YOU SHOW TH4T YOU L1K3 H1M GC: TH3 GUY 1S 4 SUCK3R FOR ROM3NC3 GC: NOV3LS 4ND MOV13S 4L1K3

TG: holy fuck TG: i cant believe i kind of flirted with a hopeless romantic

GC: 1 HOP3 YOU DONT TH1NK TH4T H3 W1LL D4T3 YOU JUST B3C4US3 OF TH4T

TG: of course not TG: im not some goddamned creeper TG: if he doesnt want to date me thats fine TG: it would be great to be friends with him at least TG: i had fun talking to him earlier

GC: D4V3

TG: what

GC: 1S TH4T 4N 3MOT1ON 1 SM3LL?

TG: oh my god tz we are not doing this for the hundredth time TG: we get it TG: i TG: the cool kid TG: has emotions like every other human being on the planet TG: its not such a surprise anymore

GC: YOU H4V3 4N 3N1R3 GRUBTUB3 CH4NN3L D3D1C4T3D TO R3V13W1NG TH1NGS 1N TH3 MOST 3MOT1ONL3SS W4Y POSS1BL3

TG: … TG: ok thats fair

GC: BUT 1M W4RN1NG YOU NOW 4BOUT K4RK4TS LOV3 OF ROMCOMS GC: H3 W1LL T4LK 4T L3NGTH 4BOUT TH3M 4ND TH3R3 1S ABSOLUT3LY NOTH1NG YOU C4N DO TO PR3V3NT TH4T FROM H4PP3N1NG GC: SO YOU M1GHT 4S W3LL G1V3 UP HOP3 NOW

TG: god damn TG: and here i was TG: woefully unprepared for the potential onslaught of romcoms TG: and then you come along TG: with all your future knowledge and shit like a some kind of seer or something TG: and allowed me to arm myself with the knowledge that karkat really fucking loves romcoms TG: thank you for you have done a great deed

GC: JUST W41T UNT1L H3 FORC3S YOU TO W4TCH TH3M

TG: is that a thing he does TG: aggressively shoves romcoms into his friends faces TG: how are yall still sane

GC: 4T SOM3 PO1NT YOU L34RN TO 4CC3PT YOUR F4T3 B3C4US3 1T 1S E4S13R 1N TH3 LONG RUN GC: 4ND T4K3S UP L3SS T1M3 GC: YOU C4N 4LSO JUST F4LL 4SL33P DUR1NG TH3 MOV13 GC: K4RK4T W1LL B3 TOO 1NTO TH3 MOV13 TO 4CTU4LLY C4R3

TG: good to know TG: i thank you for the sheer amount of wisdom you hold

GC: YOUR3 W3LCOM3 GC: OH 1 H4V3 TO GO NOW GC: 1 H4V3 4 D4T3 GC: >;]

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: wait hold on who are you going on a date with TG: shit TG: youre already gone TG: ill weasel the truth out of you sooner or later TG: or i guess youll just tell me TG: same difference really TG: or maybe not TG: whatever TG: case still stands that i will find out who you are going on a date with TG: i want details TG: except maybe not really TG: i would rather a brief overview of the date if that is possible TG: please dont go into weird tangents about how much you licked them TG: because that would be awkward and weird TG: anyway TG: later

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

You decide to take the remainder of the day to work on some more videos. After all, you know Terezi will probably tell you who she went on a date with sooner or later, and Karkat said he might message you in the future. You can't help but smile at that. He was fun to talk to, so it would be nice to hear from him again.

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #terezi pyrope #homestuck #rose lalonde #pesterlogs

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limejuicer1862 · 5 years

Text

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews

I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me. I gave the writers two options: an emailed list of questions or a more fluid interview via messenger. The usual ground is covered about motivation, daily routines and work ethic, but some surprises too. Some of these poets you may know, others may be new to you. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I do.

Magdalena Ball

was born in New York City, where she grew up. After gaining an honours degree in English Literature from the City University of New York (CCNY), she moved to Oxford to study English Literature at a postgraduate level. After a brief return to the US, she then migrated to NSW Australia, where she now resides on a rural property with her husband and three children. While in Australia she received a Masters degree in Business from Charles Sturt University and a Marketing degree from the University of Newcastle. Magdalena runs the respected review site Compulsive Reader. Her short stories, editorials, poetry, reviews and articles have appeared in a wide number of printed anthologies and journals, and have won local and international awards for poetry and fiction. She is the author of the poetry books Unmaking Atoms, Repulsion Thrust and Quark Soup, the novels Black Cow, and Sleep Before Evening, a nonfiction book The Art of Assessment, and, in collaboration with Carolyn Howard-Johnson, the Celebration Series poetry books Sublime Planet, Deeper Into the Pond, Blooming Red, Cherished Pulse, She Wore Emerald Then, and Imagining the Future. She also runs a radio show, Compulsive Reader Talks. In addition to her writing, Magdalena is a Research Support Lead for a multinational company, and regardless of what she’s doing, will usually be found with a book or two in one form or another, sneaking time for reading.

The Interview

1. When and why did you begin to write poetry?

I honestly cannot remember a time when I wasn’t writing poetry. It feels very natural to me to express myself poetically, probably because I grew up with a lot of poetry around me, from Dr Seuss and Maurice Sendak to the songs my mother, who was in a rock band, was writing and singing or the poetry my uncle set to music including literary giants like Edna St Vincent Millay, Frank O’Hara, WB Yeats and Emily Dickinson. Poetry has always been part of my environment. I created a lot of handmade ‘zines, themed booklets and celebration poems for friends when I was growing up, but my first official publication was a full centre-page spread in a Greenwich village magazine while I was an undergraduate. I’ve lost the publication now though I kept the clipping for years, but the buzz of that first publication was pretty intense.

2. Who introduced you to poetry?

I think I’d have to say my parents. They both read to me a lot – and there was poetry in the children’s books I loved (Sendak and Seuss come to mind immediately because I also bought and read many books by those two authors for my own children, but there were many books I loved when I was very young like The Story of Ping by Marjorie Flack, Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown, and Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crocket Johnson, all of which became introductions for me to what language can do as an art form, and how poetic language in particular can convey complex ideas in ways that jump past the intellect using rhythm, correspondence and imagery. I always had a visceral response to the books that were read to me, perhaps because my parents were very good readers and tended to act out the work and engage me in the process by talking to me about what they were reading, letting me fill in words and take over when I was ready. I’m deeply grateful to them for this early gift, which to be honest, I didn’t properly recognise until I was much older. Beyond being read to, I was pretty heavily influenced by my uncle, the composer Ricky Ian Gordon, who not only set a lot of superb poems to music – the sound of which formed a backdrop to my childhood as I spent a lot of time at my grandparents’ house where Ricky, who is only 10 years older than me, was growing up, but also he was always recommending and gifting books to me. I remember a book pack he gave to me when I was around 12 after he read some of my poems. I still have the books, which include Plath’s Ariel, Sexton’s Live or Die, Brecht’s Manuel of Piety and Rimbaud’s The Drunken Boat – none of which were age appropriate (!) but they certainly left a mark on me – like many young women I became a bit obsessed with Plath in particular for a while! Even now, when I see him he’ll usually recite a poem by heart to me from someone he personally knows or has recently discovered which will immediately blow me away.

3. How aware were and are you of the dominating presence of older poets?

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t suffer from imposter syndrome regularly as a writer. However, I have always been a confident reader. The delight I take in other people’s words is something that has bolstered me since I was very (possibly too) young. I think it’s fair to say that nearly all writers, no matter how famous, need and love attentive readers and reading is my happy place. So whenever I don’t feel like I’m writer enough to match the company I’m keeping (and that company may be on the page rather than in the flesh though I have been lucky enough to meet some intimidatingly good writers), I’m always able to fall back on the joy of delighting in the words of others. It’s a great privilege I think to be able to just pay attention to art that is exquisite. The sheer joy of that deep engagement is something that I think transcends age, fame, and even genius. It’s connection that is very primal and powerful and wipes out jealousy, intimidation and domination. That said, I’m always actively seeking diversity in my reading as I’m conscious that the “dominating presence of older poets” is really partly determined by a canon that isn’t necessarily very diverse. I’m actively trying to read as diversely as possible, not only because it is healthy to be exposed to what challenges you, but also because nuance and exquisite beauty can often be found in under-represented writers that isn’t so easy to find in some of the bigger, more famous names that are treated as “classics”. So I will sometimes deliberately resist that domination.

4. What is your daily writing routine?

I think it would be a rare day when I didn’t write something, but aside from that I just write whenever I can, often in brief snatches here and there, or while everyone else is watching television in the evening once the hubbub of the day has eased off. I have done things like pulled my car over to the side of the road to write something down that came to mind; written poems during business meetings; stirred something on the stove with one hand while writing with the other – you get the idea. I have three children and a day job so can’t really be precious with the time. Poetry is particularly flexible that way and can be fitted into a tight schedule but I have to admit that fiction is harder for me to write in short bursts which is why I’ve been writing a lot of poetry over the past few years.

5. What motivates you to write?

I’m not really sure what motivates me! It’s kind of instinctual. If I don’t write almost every day I find I’m not at my best – I get cranky – some variation of hangry – like there’s a hunger that needs satiating. Being able to sit down, even for just a few minutes, and put something down in writing is part of what my body needs each day – like food, water, exercise, sleep. It’s just part of how I live in the world. I get a lot of pleasure from extrinsic motivations like publication, praise (poets seem to me to be particularly supportive of one another and I’m so grateful for the gorgeous community I feel very much bolstered by), the odd tiny financial reward, and being able to perform/read/connect with readers – they’re all really wonderful perks, but the practice of writing is something I do regardless of those things.

6. What is your work ethic?

I was born and raised in New York, and it may just go with the territory but I think my work ethic has always been a little bit too strong. I have really tried to ease back on my work ethic – to be more present; to take more time on quality over quantity; to slow down a little bit and not feel like I have to be ticking every box on a daily to-do list. That said, I’m always feeling the tug to get one more thing done today. I’m trying to plan a little bit less, and to be more open as I get older.

7. How do the writers you read when you were young influence you today?

See question 2. The writers I read when I was young have had a massive influence on me – they’ve helped formed my identity and not just as a writer. I honestly don’t think I’d be the same person if I hadn’t read so much Maurice Sendak as a child. I still get a little shiver of excitement thinking about Little Bear’s trip to the moon or that wordless page of the wild rumpus in Where the Wild Things Are. I also was heavily influenced as a young adult by writers like Czesław Miłosz who I saw perform at Princeton when I was about 17, and I used to hang around the St Marks Poetry Project around that time hoping one day I might just end up having a conversation with Patti Smith, Jim Carroll, Allen Ginsberg or Anne Waldman. I was always too shy to approach them (see question 3), but I knew very strongly then that this was a place I felt at home and that theses were voices that resonated with my young self. I took a lot of that in and it helped form my identity.

8. Who of today’s writers do you admire the most and why?

I love so many writers that the answer to this question could go on for about 20 pages! It never fails to amaze me how much superb work just keeps coming out. I’m very lucky to be a book reviewer and so I get a lot of books. I certainly don’t like everything but I get at least one book a week that is excellent, often by someone I never heard of before. I know that the minute I commit a name to paper I’ll have missed out someone critical or maybe I’ll read someone tomorrow and by the time this goes to air I’ll be sad I didn’t include them. So instead of answering this question I might just ‘gather some paradise’ (to steal a phrase from the wonderful PoemTalk podcast) and talk about a few poets that I’ve recently read whose work I like. Please note that this is a snapshot of the work I’ve been in contact with over the past month or so and is in no way comprehensive! Tracy K Smith’s latest book Wade in the Water is just so good. You can read the title poem here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/147467/wade-in-the-water Another poet whose work gets me everytime is Danez Smith’s Don’t Call Us Dead. I don’t even know why but the book has brought me to tears several times and even now, I’m thinking of the title poem. I’m right in the middle of reading Anne Casey’s Where the Lost Things Go which is just so warm and lovely – so rich with empathy and compassion, and so very relevant. Another book I recently read and loved was Ali Whitelock’s And My Heart Crumples Like a Coke Can, which is hysterically funny, raw, sad and uplifting all at the same time. Both Anne and Ali are people I recently met and immediately became friends with – it was like we’ve known each other for years and we instantly began planning collaborations, tours, tweeting about one another’s work, etc. I’m so happy to give their wonderful books a shout-out.

9. Why do you write? Probably answered in question 5.

10. What would you say to someone who asked you “How do you become a writer?”

At the risk of sounding like Yoda (it wouldn’t be the first time), there is no ‘become’ – if you want to write, write. Don’t waste too much time dreaming about it or making elaborate promotional plans (something I have been guilty of). Just get on with it. Write what you like to read best or what you feel compelling to write. Or pick a competition and begin working towards a submission. Push asdie the doubt and discomfort and that stupid “monkey” voice at the back of your head that says you’re not up to it, and just get on with it. No one is a ‘natural’ – first drafts are almost all bad, every writer no matter how well-respected is struggling with what they’re working on now, and the only way to get good at writing is, like anything, regular practice. You have to fail. It’s part of the learning curve – so get on with the failure, accept it, become comfortable in its presence and keep going. When you’ve got enough material or when your material fits a market, submit it somewhere. Then repeat the process. The one other thing you must do is to read, a lot, and diversely. If, like me, you’re nervous about promoting your own work or you’re uncertain that what you’ve done is great, then promote someone else. Shine a light on the wonderful, especially where it’s underrepresented. Everyone has the power to do that these days – leave a review, buy someone a book for a present, talk up what you love. Then get back to the table and make your own beauty. There’s no magic formula and raw talent that isn’t utilised is nothing. (may the force be with you…)

11. Tell me about the writing projects you have on at the moment.

I’ve just had a poetry book published by Flying Island Books titled High Wire Step, and I’ve got another one coming out in April from Girls on Key Press titled Unreliable Narratives. Neither of those were planned this time last year and I’m really pleased with how they came together and the incredible editorial support I had on both books (I’m very grateful to Kit Kelen and Anna Forsyth respectively). I’m still a bit in promotion mode for these two and there are launches and performances planned at the Newcastle Wrtiers Festival this year and throughout the early part of 2019. I have begun working on a new book of poetry (I’m always working on a book of poetry ), and I am still working on my third novel, a sci fi which is proving to be quite difficult. One of my resolutions for 2019 is to either finish the thing or call it. Every time I sit down to write it strikes me as being too good and too far along to abandon but then I get distracted and it drifts away from my mind and the desire to work on it recedes. This is the year I either finish, or make the call. I also have quite a few multimedia/anthology collaborations in-hand, which I’m very excited about. I can’t divulge, but good things are on the horizon.

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews: Magdalena Ball Wombwell Rainbow Interviews I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me.

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