#singing on the edge of her bed singing. going to the mall and staying till it closed. cooking in the kitchen and singing. listening to her

[skepticalkoi-catastrophe]

TᕼOᔕE ᗯᕼO ᕼOᗯᒪ

ᕼYᑌᑎᒍIᑎ ᙭ ᗷᒪᗩᑕK!ᖴEᗰ Oᑕ

✑ 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙵𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙲𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙱𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚢 @parkhabits , 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 2011 𝙼𝚃𝚅 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚃𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚆𝚘𝚕𝚏. 𝚁𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜, 𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜, 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 ~♡

[4] ᗷITTEᖇᔕᗯEET

Next chapter ⏭

I reflexively searched the opposite side of the bed for her, emptiness residing where she should be. "Lei?"

Curiously, I untangle myself from the sheets, stumbling across the floor. Sunlight spills through my bedroom window as I pull my T-shirt over my head to cover my exposed skin.

Concern consumes me as I turn the door knob, swinging open my bedroom door. The unmistakable scent of vanilla, chamomile, and pancake batter fill my nose.

She's making breakfast, huh?

The closer I got, the stronger the scent became. Instead of the routine chirping of birds being heard, I'm greeted by Leilani's soft humming.

Leaning against the kitchen doorway I watch as she pours mini dollops of batter into the skillet. She doesn't seem to notice my presence.

Leilani gingerly sways her hips as her humming turns to singing the chorus of Charlie Puth's "Attention."

It's melody brings a smile to my face. I tip toe closer to her. She's a sight to behold to say the least. Even when wearing her black satin bonnet.

"Good morning, Ankle Biter. " I say suddenly, causing her to flinch.

"Holy shit!" She squeals. "You scared the crap out of me Hyunjin."

Nuzzling into her shoulder, I give her waist a gentle squeeze.

Her tone softens.

"You know, I like your hugs better when I know they're going to happen. How long have you been standing there?"

"Does it matter? Besides, warning you takes the fun out of it."

My pout visible as I watch the mini pancakes cook. I don't want her to leave my arms just yet.

After that night, I've noticeably become increasingly paranoid. The killer is still out there, which scares me and has me on edge.

"Why are you up so early? You're usually asleep till 12 noon." I ask.

She turns off the stove scraping the mini pancakes into two separate bowls with a spatula.

"Thought I'd surprise you with breakfast. Your first day was kinda stressful, so I figured, we could indulge ourselves a little bit today."

Her body practically swimming in my hoodie.  The material barely reaches below her thighs.

"So this is where my hoodie went. I've been looking for it all week."

"I was going to give it back after I found it in the laundry room." Leilani turns in my grasp, her eyes looking up at me. "It smells really good and it's comfy."

She lifts her hand to its collar, self- consciously pulling at the drawstrings. The sleeves are just long enough to cover her fingers. I have a habit of buying my hoodies larger than normal. Because I know Lei has a habit of wearing them.

"It's fine. Just let me know next time okay?"

She nods, her arms falling to her sides after she puts the used dishes in the sink. Walking over to the kitchen island she placed the bowls in font of either seat.

Turning away to the kitchen cabinets she reaches for the maple syrup.

The bottom of her ass peaking out from the hoodie as it hikes up higher.

"Are you wearing shorts?" I mentally curse myself for asking such a stupid question.

Why would I ask that?! I'm such a dumbass!

She side-eyes me, exposing her shorts to me. "Depends on how hard you were staring. You disappointed or something?"

I almost choke on my fork full of pancakes. "What?! Fuck no! No, I'm not."

My brows raise and my eyes widen with humiliation.

She giggles, retrieving two glasses from the dish rack and a carton of O.J. from the fridge.

"I'm just teasing Jinnie." She mocks me.

"Ha ha, real funny, Lei."

Leilani somehow persuaded me into going to the mall with her. Of course, I had no choice but to go along with it. There's no way in hell I was going to stay home.

We went to store after store for what felt like hours. Leilani's indecisiveness reminded me just how much I hate shopping. Not to mention all the distractions in this place. I begin to hear a baby cry from two floors below us.

But that's impossible. No one can hear that well and that far. Right?

Leilani found everything she needed except  some new shoes. She's currently trying to decide between Converses or Vans. Knowing her, we'll be here till closing time if this keeps up. We stopped at Forever 21 so she could buy some outfits.

"Hey Jinnie?" She asks, peeking her head from behind the dressing room curtains.

"Whatcha think?"

She opens them wider. Wearing a fitted navy and white stripped sundress, it sat on her curves just right. It's enough to make a man cat call.

"Y-you look beautiful, Lei." A warm sensation spreads across my cheeks and the bridge of my nose. My words caught in my throat as she turned back to the mirror.

"Beautiful as always..." I whisper under my breath.

"Huh? Did you say something?"

"Nothing. Nothing." I chuckle, stroking my arm. "Why don't we take a break okay? I'll go get us some boba while you finish up. I'll be right back."

On the farther side of the mall, I can hear someone picking up their order at the counter before I step inside. My mind must be playing tricks on me. Shaking it off, I ordered one large brown sugar boba and one large taro boba milk tea.

"Order for Hyunjin!" I'm startled by the cashier's booming voice. I quickly get our order and exit the store.

Some guy shoves past me, causing me to almost drop our drinks. Jerk.

Back at Forever 21, I find Leilani talking to some guy at the storefront. By the way her heartbeat sped up, I could practically smell her nervousness. As well as that awful scent from Friday.

"We should hang out sometime. A drive-in movie under the stars doesn't sound to bad does it ?" His voice is all too familiar.

Fucking San.

The strong urge to punch him in the jaw grew the closer I got.

"You here alone or-?"

"She's with me." My lips tightened as I cut in. Without hesitation I toss my arm over her shoulders. He takes notice. "We're kinda busy right now so she'll talk to you on Monday. We'll see you around."

San's eyebrows pull down together. An askance expression sweeping his face.

"See yah."

I suck my teeth.

What the hell us his problem?!

Taking the escalator down to Journey's, she tries on some shoes. Leilani finds her pair of black high-top Converses and asks the store clerk to bring out her size.

"He wasn't flirting y'know," She says trying on her shoes. "You didn't have to be rude."

"I wasn't being rude, I just don't like him." I sourly protest glaring at my cup of boba. "Something about him dosen't sit right with me. Like he's putting on an act."

Her heartbeat quickens again.

"And why not?" She takes a few steps in her shoes facing a small floor mirror. "You and I both know what it actually  feels like to put on an act. He's polite and just trying to make some friends."

Leilani bit the tip of her thumb ruminating over my words. "I get that you're trust in others isn't what it used to be, but I think you should be worrying about yourself. I can handle myself."

If only you knew.....

She unlaces her shoes putting them back in their box.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that I-"

"I know, just forget it. Pay for your shoes, I'll be right back."

A surge of pain races along the top of my head. Leilani stands by the counter paying for our shoes. Taking the opportunity to sneak away to the restroom I hunt through my pockets for my medication. The pain worsening with every second.

"C'mon, C'mon..."

Finally, both pills are in my hands. But my palms are bloody with claw marks. I shove them back in my pockets. I rush over to the sink and I splash my face with cold water.

There's no blood in the sink. There's no blood on my hands. No claw marks. Nothing.

What the fuck is happening to me?

We ordered Italian takeout before riding the bus home. Locking the front door, we drop our bags and take off our shoes.

"You get settled and I'll get everything ready down here." Leilani says.

I silently nod and head upstairs. Admittedly it was awkward for the duration of our time together after out small spat at the mall.

She wasn't wrong though. My paranoia is getting the best of me, and in my eyes, Leilani and I.N. are all I have in this town. Parents are mourning the lost if their children while students are mourning the loss of their friends.

I have every reason to be overprotective. But I guess I'm going about it all wrong.

Hot water washes away the majority of my anxiety, calming me instantly. As my body begins to relax, I hear indistinct screaming. My mind immediately brought back to the night of the massacre. Crunching leaves, blood splatter, final gasps of breath.

I cover my ears, backing up against the cold shower tiles in a frail attempt to ground myself in reality.

Stop...stop...stop...stop it...

The memories of bloodshed were getting harder to ignore. I grit my teeth, trying to block out the sound of running water.

Make it stop....make it stop....MAKE. IT. STOP!!

"Hyunjin? Hyunjin are you alright?"

Leilani knocks on the door.

"Your food's going to get cold."

I shut off the water, dropping my hands. Leaning my head back against the tiles until the steam clears.

"I'm fine Lei, I'll be out in a second."

Her foot steps retreat down the hallway to the stairs.

That was a close one.

Leilani stares comprehensively at the movies on the TV screen, stuck between which to choose. It was Disney vs. Studio Ghibi. She closes her eyes, sighing.

"Hyunjin, Blondie, what should we watch?" She asks looking up at me from the sofa. Our food resting on the coffee table.

I snicker, knowing her indecisiveness is getting the best of her again.

"Well you always say I look like Howl so wouldn't that make you my Sophie?"

She burst into a fit of giggles. "You're so corny. Howl's Moving Castle it is, then."

An hour or so later, I glance at her as the movie ends. "You tired?"

She shook her head slowly.

"Lei, don't lie. I can tell." It was late, I realized as I yawn.

I shut off the TV, slipping my hand behind her lower back. She stirs, muttering.

"How long was I out?"

"Long enough. Let's get you to bed, yeah?"

One arm under her legs, the other supporting her back, she buries her face in the crook of my neck.

"I don't wanna go to sleep yet."

"How come?" Carefully, I climb up the stairs to her room. I lower her onto the mattress. Placing the covers over her, I cease when she wraps her hand around my forearm.

"'Cause I like being with you." She whispers. Her droopy eyelids are all I can focus on.

"And I never want you to leave me."

She tugs on my sleeve, pulling me beside her. Grabbing her bonnet I make sure her hair is safely inside of it. Within minutes she was fast asleep. Moments like this made me understand what it ment to cherish someone. I turn off her bedside lamp and planted a light kiss on her forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere, Beautiful."

𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚛 𝚍𝚖 𝚖𝚎. 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 ~

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝- @peachjaem00 @ramenlixxie

#hyunjin fluff #hwang hyunjin angst #hwang hyunjin stray kids #hwang hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #hwang hyunjin fluff #black y/n #black oc #teen wolf au #teen wolf #werewolf au #werewolf boyfriend

[imsfire2]

Out of darkness: chapter two

(Author’s note: So I started a fix-it fic for “Solo quiero caminar”; it was going to be a one-shot but I couldn’t resist taking the story a bit further.  Not sure now how long this one will end up being, though I hope not quite on the scale of “In a dark time...”  Anyway, you can read chapter one on AO3 now, and here’s chapter two).

He starts in the only place he can.  Algeciras. The sea is fiery blue in the spring light, the town comfortably dirty and alive.  Kids drinking cola on the sea front; a market, a shopping mall, a few tourists; ferries putting in and heading out, and the perpetual smell of fish and dust in the air.  The big British rock at the end of the bay, a bulk like an elephant turd, streaked with chalk-white.

A simple place to stay the night, right on the waterfront, Hotel El Bahía; unpretentious, nondescript, the room is small but the bed is good, and he pays extra for a window looking onto the sea.  The sea, not the ocean; not the waters he dimly remembers from some long-ago trip, the memory of warm Pacific waves and sand, all tangled with a child’s fears and hopes and desperations; this is the Sea, the Mediterranean, the hot enclosed sea of legends and histories and myths that are not his own.  Aurora’s sea.

Did she ever pass this hotel, look at this self-same view?  He drinks his coffee in the ground floor bar, looking out at the azure water, the dusty sun umbrellas.  Gulls drift by in the distance, white as torn paper between blue and blue.  

There’s a public library, and a librarian who smiles, and remarks on his accent; asks “Are you trying to trace family here?”

“An old friend.” Gabriel smiles back.  It’s strange how the untruth doesn’t feel like lying. Did he even exchange a hundred words with Aurora?  Yet the memory of her feels as real as any in his life; she’s everything vivid and concrete, her complete certainty of self, calm and brave with him, her face bending unhesitatingly into the kiss and then not looking back.  He smiles at the kindly woman looking up at him from the desk, and accepts the help she offers without looking for motives.

It still feels strange to do this, living without calculation, finding and understanding his own emotions, smiling just for himself.  He’s barely known what it is to feel at all, the last few years.  He must remember to be calm with himself, not to panic and shut his mind to this strangeness.  

His heart is on fire as he reads the local telephone directory.  The air-conditioned reading room is cool and quiet, and the cool and quiet do nothing but inflame him further.

There are dozens of Rodriguez’s but no Aurora.  The cold place under his rib opens up again, it aches with the certainty of coming failure. He’ll never find her – he’ll find her and she’ll be gone – he’ll find her dead - or find her married after all, he’ll find she was a woman who would lie to console a dying man and that mere small kindness will kill him now – and he tells himself Shut up, shut up, cabrón, shut up you idiot and closes the pages, flips to the publication date at the front.  The directory was issued last month.  Just to be certain, he takes it back to the desk and asks for last year’s.

Waiting for it to be fetched his hands are shaking and again the inner voice starts up with its chatter. He never had an inner voice before. He’ll find her gone, he’ll find her and she won’t remember him, or she’ll look at him with ice in her eyes and he will go back to Mexico to find out what it is to grow old and be this much alone…

He turns whole slabs of pages thumping together, D to M to R, and individual sheets crumple as he leafs through them.  His thin fingers slip on the coloured paper: Radigüer, Rafael, Reyes, Rocio, Rodrigues, Rodriguez – and – Abraham Alvise Amaral Antonia Antonio – a stack of Antonio’s –

Aurora.

He’d breathing deep and fast, his nostrils flaring; he has to blink back moisture in his eyes and for a moment his mouth works with shock, before he permits himself to go into the place of emotion again.  To feel this shock, this hope, so intense, almost painful.  To smile this hard.  He’s found her name, and the street she lived on, a year ago.

He thinks of paying bribes or offering threats, of what once would have been his only move now, and his smile shifts sideways and grows even more incredulous as he realises he will not do any of that.  It’s an idiot grin, but he’s an idiot with happiness.  He never really had any hope of it before, he thinks, this thing called happiness; all the hope was just threads, like hairs tickling his skin.  

Dark hairs, long dark hair, he remembers the silken feel of that hair gathered in his hands, heavy, unbound.  If he’s to merit this, he must be whole in his commitment.  No more of Félix’s methods.

He’s not there yet, but it’s a start, and he’ll follow as far as he can, walking down this road.

It takes a few days, a few times standing in front of a stranger and asking plainly for help; but by mid-week he knows where she moved to.  In the course of those questions and requests he hears the word “stalking” used and feels that inward fear again, though the speaker says it only in passing.

Am I a stalker?  Will she see it that way?  

Should I go home now and put this insane idea out of my mind?

And then he is standing in the hallway of an apartment building, outside the door of flat 1A-left, as the naïvely chatty occupant tells him that 1A-right has gone away on holiday and won’t be back till Saturday.  He asks “Where did she go?” and is told

“Mexico.  Mexico City.  She was pretty excited about it.”

He’s shaking.  For a moment it’s hard not to sink down on the tiled floor.  All the excitement and anxiety of the last few days is suddenly a focussed point like a laser, and it strikes him in the side, there where each muscle lines up along the memory of that killing blow and that pain.

“Oh no.  No, no, no. I’ve just come from there.”

“I thought you had that accent,” says the neighbour.  He leans on the door jamb, amiable and very young, and stoned, his frayed yellow jersey hanging around him, too long at the hips and in the arms, a roll-up in his grinning lips.

Gabriel would like to tell him he needs to be more careful.  If he were a stalker he’s just been told far more than he has a right to know.  

But he isn’t, and he won’t come back to the apartment until she invites him.  He’ll watch from outside.  It’s still stalking, it’s disconcertingly close to the way he staked her out, before; but what else can he do?  He came here to find her.  

“Here” is Granada; she moved inland, into the mountains, into the city.  He has a hire car now, and a room in another hotel, a high-ceilinged room overlooking the Plaza Bib-Rambla with its fountain and its café tables.  A bronze Neptune above the fountain exhorts passers-by to raise their eyes to heaven. Beneath the god’s feet is a row of stone lions’ heads with green moss dripping in their eyes; pigeons bathe in the lower basin and tourists sit on the edge as the afternoon sun beats down on them.  Gabriel sits on his balcony and pictures Aurora below, stopping, looking up at him. She must have passed those weeping lions so many times.  

Locals sit under the arcades in the shade, and above the square the squat bell tower of the Cathedral rises in the heat.  Over the rooftops he can see the Torre de la Vela and the walls of the Alhambra, pale and rose-gold on their hillside.

He could be perfectly happy too, he thinks, living here between Neptune and Christ, looking up to the hills.

He can’t rest.  The remainder of that day and all of the next he quarters the streets, looking, seeing, touching.  It’s a consolation to his eyes in her absence.  Her roads, her cafés and stores and market stalls, all the places where she lives now, the pavements where she walks.   He is in her world, while she is in his.  He imagines her visiting her sister’s grave, carrying an armful of flowers, granting herself the blessing of farewell.  Until she returns, he can watch over her streets and know that if he leaves now he’ll cause her no grief, no thought at all.  Until she comes.  

There are long shadows and the Calle Marqués de Gerona is cool in the shade and busy with the beginning of evening.  In the Bar La Riffeña the TV is showing the UEFA cup, and when he orders a drink it comes with a dish of olives and cubes of cheese, and a small slice of bread.   Gabriel takes a seat on the terrace, where he can enjoy the evening air and watch both the street and the screen.  The second rum, half an hour later, brings a spoonful of scrambled egg with asparagus, and more bread.  By now he’s enjoying the match even though neither of the teams is his.  Sevilla have just equalised, to the delight of the regulars at the zinc.  

The third drink gains him a tiny dish of Russian salad, tangy with gherkins.  At this rate he’ll have an entire meal gratis if he orders enough drinks.  ¡Viva Andalucía!

At the next table two exhausted Italians are poring over a spread map and downing large beers. There’s a goldfinch in a cage hung over the terrace; it hops about, singing over the buzz of talk and street noise, the rapid glee of the sports commentary.  At first he doesn’t hear the sound of suitcase wheels, and then thinks nothing of it when he does, such an ordinary noise, rattling and meaningless. Then he sees her.

Aurora Rodriguez, in her scarlet jacket, wheeling a bulky grey case towards him.  His eyes go to her as to a fire in the street.

He’d forgotten, he thinks, though he’d thought he remembered every nuance; her lips, her hair, her way of walking as though the guilty world were laying its heart beneath her shoes.

There’s no chance to think through what he will say, or to hide himself.  She’s forty metres away, thirty, twenty, and still walking.  She’s looking straight past him; her eyes are tired and both glad and sad, so that he wonders what she’s seen in Mexico City; does she know something now, for sorrow or for peace, that she did not know before? He’s looking at her approach as if she’s just marched down from paradise with her case in tow, and as she comes nearer he turns his head involuntarily to keep her in his sight.  A slow movement, focussed upon her, like a fixed star. She sees it and it draws her eye, her glance catches onto his, a hand catching on a rough edge of silk.  She takes two more steps and comes to a halt, ten metres away, with her lips parting.  Impassive, watching; then very slowly, slow as heaven, smiling.

The last time he saw her, her lip had still been split, her face bruised, from Félix’s fists.  She’d looked at him with defensive eyes.  He’d known he would have died for her, to atone for what had been done to her and her family, if he had not already been dying.

He stands, to meet her on his feet.

He’s never been a man given to fear; he barely recognises it, it’s so unfamiliar, this thundering of his heart against his sore, scarred ribs.  She is smiling at him and he is afraid.

He’d wanted to smile at her. In all his dreams of this moment he has been smiling.  But his lips will not move, except, for a second, to open, breathless, silent.  He exhales.  His throat tightens on a thousand unsaid things.

Aurora takes the next step, and the next, careful, deliberate.  The suitcase bumps heavily on the cobbles behind her each time.  

“Gabriel?”  So guarded; she was always ice, she was a loaded gun, an averted head, a figure walking away…  Her smile wavers and grows cautious, readying herself to strike or to turn away, and his heart tears apart.  He forces himself into a smile as frail as breathing.

“It’s you.”  

Which of them was it who spoke?  There’s so much tension in his ribs, his spine, he’s a steel guitar string, taut and tightening, coming into tune at last.

“Aurora.”

One more step forward, one more crunch of the suitcase wheels; and Gabriel inhales and flexes his hands, and takes a step also.  Suddenly he’s almost panting for air; but light seems to flood into him as his smile anchors itself in her.  “Aurora. Aurora…”

“Be careful,” she says. “You’ll hyperventilate.”  Her smile grows again.  It gives him life.  All the muscles in his face seem to be twisting, a stupid grin coming and going, helplessly shy.

His hands are shaking, that brief mortal fear still racing in his veins.  He reaches for her and she for him, their fingertips touch suddenly and she presses her lips together and then beams, quivering with mirth that is half shock.  “I’m glad to see you.”

“Would you like a drink?—“

The electrifying touch on his fingers, the dark eyes on his; humour, astonishment, joy.  Their hands slide into one another and clasp.  He’s not sure whether it’s her that is trembling, or him.  Where the boundary is.  She’s barely fifty centimetres away and he can feel the warmth of her body and smell a clean herbal scent coming off her, not perfume but some pleasant everyday thing like shampoo.  Her skin is unblemished, a slight blush of suntan on her brow, her nose, her cheekbones.

“To drink?—“

“Something to drink?—“

They’re speaking over and through one another, still holding hands.  He begins consciously to try and slow his breathing.  “A drink, yes.”

“Perhaps a – a beer…”

“Of course.”

Somehow, he’s holding a chair for her; somehow he’s managed to let go her hand for a few moments. She sits, looking up at him as he tucks her seat in; and as he takes his own again their hands find one another and grab, and hold on.

He eyes her lips her touch…

He’d like to bring her hand to his forehead in fealty; to his lips, in worship.  She’s here, she’s beside him, he found her.

#sqc fic #SQC fix on the way #waving our bloodied flags #runakvaed #rapidashpatronus #ruby-red-inky-blue #mototwinkclub #yavemiel #I can't remember who else was up for this so please can I ask you to share somehow? #Gabriel goes to Andalucía

[feelthegr00ve]

Like fleeting water

- Honey, we got to talk.

- Gonna make coffee, want some?

Emma doesn’t exists without coffee. Collects kettles, Italian coffee makers, agate little mugs with all the colors that exists on the endless shops which sells all kind of piece of crap for $1.99. Her favourite tool is a French press that she bought just to have fun moving the plunger down really slowly and watch the colored little balls of air rise on the air. She buys coffee beans in the cereal zone and always carry a little bag on her purse. Nothing like the smell of coffee to clear the mind when she’s locked on the rush.

-Keep talking, I’m listening.

-I can’t do this anymore. I’m leaving.

He tried to look sad, like it was really painful to say that, but anyone could tell he was already rehearsing that speech.

-You know, it’s really hard to love in here. It’s been months since the last time I saw the horizon, I feel dirty every end of the day. This city is neurotic, the wheater is bipolar, I can’t even tell what will happen on the next corner. I can’t stand the closed face of the sky anymore. You all are really sad people. I did what I could, but I can’t live like that anymore. I need to see colors, breathe clean air, spend some time with myself in a quieter place. Do you understand?

Of course she does. He spent his entire life between the house with pool and the club, where eveything was white and fragrant. Thinks that he knew the country by backpacking, stopping from hostel to hostel, bonfires on the smooth sandy beach, colonial coffee being served till noon. The beauty he knows is the cover of national geographic. You climb a mountain, enter in the waterfall, ride a jipe on the dunes and drowns in his own joy. Walk barefooted on the creek’s little stones, run into a hummingbird kissing a bromeliad, lie on the mat and have a adorned cocktail, Someone took the trash outside, wash the dishes, rags and you’ll never realize that dirt exists. [(Black - Pearl Jam just started to play heheh still in love with this song)] They rub perfection in your face, it enters through the nose, it accumulates in the bottom of the throat and, for any corner that you point the cell phone is another pre-ready masterpiece for instagram. Easiest way to love.

-You know, everything I wanted was a little house with yard to raise my children and have barbecue on sunday. A typical family home, little and modest, where I could read newspapper without having someone being a pain in the ass. In here the walls just can’t shut the hell up. I hear plumbing creaking, neighbor fucking, couple fight, a mess on the streets until it’s really really really late. You know that I’m not intolerant but this city confuses freedom with debauchery.

In the university, she read about Lina Bo Bardi. When the architect presented the project of SESC Pompéia, the critics felt offended. They said that keeping the old structure was vulgar. No one wanted to see beams and bricks exposed without plaster, that daring proletarian air. They probably wanted a slender building with mirrored windows, central air conditioning and many ratchets, Lina told them that she did’nt seek for beauty, but poetry.

-All right, then go. Pack your stuffs in peace. I’ll go out, I’ll be back in the night.

Emma thinks way better with her feet on the street.

Here's no beauty jumping in front of you. People on the street just can’t take their eyes off from shiny craps because looking around is just so painful. It’s hard to say good morning to someone after passing by a kid sleeping on the bus station’s staircase. It doesn’t matter if you live on a fancy neighborhood because the suburb crosses the center, branches through sidewalks and intersections, office doors and malls. Whores are in the squares during the day light sharing space with ladies in uniform who practice jogging and tai-chi-chuan. You can’t even go out for an ice cream without passing by at least half a dozen political manifestations.

She knows that seeking for poetry during a gray day is a survival matter. Like hunting food in the trash. You need to sift through a stream of sewage and bitterness and reap little pieces of conflict, contradiction, sarcasm and solve a puzzle searching for some shape of beauty, even if it’s a sad one.

Old people playing dominoes in a bar with a red formica counter and a faded rudder on cracked tiles. The drunk who dances on the sidewalk to the sound of an appliance store. The laughter of the graffiti between ruined buildings. When your sky is a red veil of methane, you need to know how to see stars on the wet asphalt to keep breathing.

She got into the subway without knowing where she was going. Thouight about her mother’s house, but that was just not a good idea. Stopped visiting family after the day she talked about abortion and received a father’s correction named right punch. He just said that he hadn’t raised a nasty daughter, her mother told her to settle accounts with God. Last winter she called to tell that she was helping fiend people with blankets along with Father Julio, but her mother’s Christian spirit didn’t approve such companies.

Thought of calling the girls to have some drinks in the karaoke, but it was monday, eveybody is busy with their own problems. Bad part about this city: so many opened karaoke and no time to sing.

At least she had Pagú. Found the little cat in a box on Bucolismo street, near the old factories of Brás and thought that she had face of Pagú. She’s elegant, Independent and always there when her friend need. When Emma is sad, asks for pizza with stuffed edges and watches bad movies with Pagú in bed.

She sat in the last wagon with no destination in mind. In the purse, a book from Hilda Hilst. Emma used to mark her books by folding the tips of pages, making notes and drawing arabesques on the page’s side. Felt like this way she could return the affection that the books gave to her. Hilda always helped with focus on ideas.

Costuro o infinito sobre o peito. E no entanto sou água fugidia e amarga.

They met at the Elza show, Virada Cultural. He offered a sip of catuaba and she found the red plastic sax he wore around his neck really funny. He was going to spend ten days in a hipster hostel, she offered a coffee and he stayed there until a week after another pagan party, when said I love you for the first time right after burn mouth with a fogazza and pour an entire glass of wine upon them. One week.

He used to say that he was afraid of the night but it was she who came home with her keys tight between her fingers and still went out to dance. He didn’t take risks, so he only got the gray, the surface, boredom. He said he can’t love here but the truth is that you don’t move from yourself.

e sou crível e antiga como aquilo que vês: Pedras, frontões no 

Todo inamovível.

And it’s true that there is roughness and noise and chaos and weariness and all that gray and blood running in the streets. It is true. But there’s also a square with a swing made with a rope and tire lost in the back of each neighborhood. And there is a girl in a flowered dress playing a flute on the boulevard. Palestinians in the Liberdade street in an occupation called Leila Khaled. A waiter who invents poems to those who ask the house’s cachaça and a friar who washes feet of beggars. There’s a kid with a notebook in hand defying a whole police battalion and also a little lady talking to the roses. It’s there for those who want to see.

Terrena, me adivinho montanha algumas vezes. 

Recente, inumana, inexprimível

They said she was hard to love. A woman who shaves her head instead of her armpit. It’s offensive. They can’t accept that such an educated girl likes to make some rhythm on a tin can, answer the way she wants and redden such crystal eyes. They don’t understand the theory, utopia, dysphoric and much less the reasons behind that tattooed heart with a box cutter and blue lighter on the arm. Just wanted her to be beautiful. They don’t dare to look at her.

And it’s true that there are doubts and fights and tears and tears and breaks and a thousand variants of same excruciating will to simply be dead. And it’s also true that there are beauties that are only beautiful because they are sad. But that is surface. Because there are also the notebook in which she watercolor the city and there is the coffee preapred with vagrancy on Sunny Sundays. Pizza, karaoke, fight and this desire to be more and more.

The truth is that, among all this concrete, smoke and shards she can also be happy.

Because she dares.

Costuro o infinito sobre o peito 

Como aqueles que amam

Throw the first stone who never cried in public transport.

--------------

Thank you mom for Hilda Hilst. At the end is always me, myself and my words. Tough time. 

night night

[writerspink]

K-12 Words

K

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1.1

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1.2

interest job because such think thirteen subject answer letter meet north length need times divide (by) times table edge soft months present energy point sound log south wide members exercise flowers set found things heart cause site brother teacher live read billion another distance written kept direction developed wall east happy million world must house turn west change well twenty felt put end does large big even here why ask went men land different home us move try kind hand picture again off dress play spell air away animal page mother study still learn should America

2.1

paragraph weather window third believe discovered simple gone paint new store form cells matter follow perhaps cannot good means around line center kind reason move forest sentence return instruments beside represent wild study back farmers sum difference product quotient remainder mother animal land region record summer general caterpillar scratch modern adjust passenger promise equal creak almost croak book dainty song high every near add food between own below country plant last school father keep tree never start city earth eyes light thought head under story saw left don’t few while along might close something seem next hard open example begin life always those both paper together got group often run

2.2

misty poor caution pest phrase life startle squirm alone centaur rise mountain above illustrator footprint temperature decorate country sweat sometimes hair smiled everything began thick compass themselves enough took although splendid crowded second act attach sly talk wonder let’s whirl someone Africa borrow beat belong blink per fasten pain begin drenched bed shell free earth tiny slippery count factors important until children side feet car mile night walk white sea grow river four carry state once book hear stop without late miss idea eat face watch far Indian real almost let girl mountains cut young soon list song being leave family it’s

3.1

drowsy bashful hatch glad copy possible wicked grin sibling shovel run verb sail polish ride young steep case Indian laughed soil appear bolts costume melody narrow behave howl example flee together lot filthy alarm spiral selfish idea conductor fight rolled middle glacier tree dizzy gather sneaky already construct every miss lively metal couldn’t gold plant mask chat nation hear either bundle section near rescue face divide sob celebrate family loosen jealous crash chimney daily own cozy ripe cut son natural serious carry care paper broken cue within body music color stand questions fish area mark horse birds problem complete room knew since ever piece told usually didn’t friends easy heard order red door sure become top ship across today during short better best however low hours black products happened whole measure remember early waves reached

3.2

being instead ache exactly hard speed buy age late artistic close affordable fraction eyes appetite complain sleep seem eat below remove rusty grow glum stormy trust enormous scale open add grab upset weed denied expensive story terrified lead jumped died basket side bear bend list tomb while batch grateful father gleaming dress light sprinkle amount exclaim result yank leave cheat whimper angle outside remain heap champion surprise dodge moment fancy squeeze pretend village shriek city thunder rapid iron striped don’t attitude bell hat tug isn’t applause children honest cross spring freezing listen wind rock space covered fast several hold himself toward five step morning passed vowel true hundred against pattern numeral table north expert slowly money map farm pulled draw voice seen cold cried plan notice south sing war ground fall king town I’ll unit figure certain field travel wood fire upon

4.1

pattern cave hope mile group travel blush killed seed bottom hide important let ticket timid pounds restart silent cranky keep real bright quite curved repeat trip without dart consonant mountains quiet apologize roar grip groan bolt food injury century exhausted cabin atmosphere floor it’s scold transportation delighted giant hill something build fog method rough left everyone obey deserve speak therefore soon french switch until pushed state knob hobby between surround collect fire I’ll arrive road happened certain top order astronomy inches club catch farm nibble color yourself received connect told gaze check wear English half ten fly gave box finally wait correct oh quickly person became shown minutes strong verb stars front feel fact street decided contain course surface produce building ocean class note nothing rest carefully scientists inside wheels stay green known island week less machine base ago stood

4.2

round award crowd slowly yet products, goods, services vowel himself strange whose draw team hold feel flood sent save stood yard notice warn enemy deep please flap coast music wrote safe blast behind island lizard figure famous garden correct whisper listen joined clear share net thus calf maybe cried piece fold seen england decided bank fell pair control clean telescope trouble glass float morning horse produce course hunting rest step statement contain shouted filled zigzag accident cents instrument fly single express visit desert seeds chew dome experiment break gravity against branch size low plane system ran boat game force brought understand warm common bring explain dry though language shape thousands yes equation government heat full hot check object am rule among noun power cannot able six dark ball material special heavy fine circle include built

5.1

mark wealthy row feeling across attention ran map students inside design art mouth ring skill hot during shelter full till log (book) blossom discard bring quickly scientists party town covered wise early cram grain harm goal pause inform heal clue fame freeze badge pimple dim missionary diet dumb rod march agree stick government bulb mall ban greed skiing poison stove image grew fact material dangerous flow gap ago stack explain didn’t strong voice true drawing surface gift corner cloud since king dawn pulled dozen friends greedy burning upon knew insect decimal nervous pay foot weak smooth aware steady serve lost nonetheless beach front atlas questions less cost slight motor banner wire area carefully separate equation local minutes fast table plan fine waves fair sing dive suppose boat thousands shape among toward gas factory birds wait understand sure ship report captain human game history reflect special brave bounce though else can’t matter square syllables perhaps bill felt suddenly test direction center farmers ready anything divided general energy subject Europe moon region return believe dance members picked simple cells paint mind love cause rain exercise eggs train blue wish drop developed window difference distance heart site sum summer wall forest probably

5.2

include cage language base red brain building feast better built demolish excess leap tower ocean plains cold claw information scholar climbed woman worry strand heavy herd common ground damp pack choose president least increase half english invent class measure dash tremble object become doubt became bare wheels continued shiver engine core couple business stars week peak numeral brought nothing touch reached uncle symbols however rumor evening inasmuch (as) force curious heat career system valley dust flock spray robber practice lonely remember luxury warm heard calm rock frighten leader difficulty best gum cheer key support universe stream bit usually fish parade balance money note cliff stand proof you’re pale machine complete cool shown street today shy easy several search unit war power caught settle itself fuel mention fresh planet plane straight period person able direct space wood seal field circle lady board besides hours passed known whole similar underline main winter wide written length reason kept interest arms brother race present beautiful store job edge past sign record finished discovered wild happy beside gone sky grass million west lay weather root instruments meet third months paragraph raised represent soft whether clothes flowers shall teacher held describe drive appreciate structure visible artificial

6.1

afraid absorb british seat fear stretched furniture sight oxygen coward rope clever yellow albeit confess passage france fan cattle spot explore rather active death effect mine create wash printed process origin rose swift woe planets doze gasp chief perform triumph value substances tone score predict property movement harsh tube settled defend reverse ancient blood sharp border fierce plunge consider terms vision intend total schedule attract average intelligent corn dead southern glide supply convince send continent brief mural symbol crew chance suffix habit insects entered nursery especially spread drift major fig diagram guess wit sugar predator science necessary moisture park ordeal nectar fortunate flutter gun forward globe misery molecules arctic won’t actually addition washington cling rare lie steel pastime soldiers chill accordingly capital prevent solution greek sensitive electric agreed thin provide indicate northern volunteer sell tied triangle action opposite shoulder imitate steer wander except match cross speak solve appear metal son either ice sleep village factors result jumped snow ride care floor hill pushed baby buy century outside everything tall already instead phrase soil bed copy free hope spring case laughed nation quite type themselves temperature bright lead everyone method section lake iron within dictionary bargain loyal resource struggle vary capture exclaim gloomy insist restless shallow shatter talent atmosphere brilliant endure glance precious unite certain clasp depart journey observe superb treasure wisdom

6.2

prepared journey trade delicate arrived track cotton hoe furnish exciting view grasp level branches privilege limit wrong enable ability various moreover spoil starve dollars digest advice sense accuse pretty wasn’t industry adopt loyal suggested blow treasure cook adjective doesn’t wings tools crops loud smell frail wisdom fit expect ahead lifted deed device weight gradual respect interesting arrange particular compound examine cable climate division individual talent fatal entire advantage opponent wouldn’t elements column custom enjoy grace theory suitable wife shoes determine allow marsh workers difficult repeated thrill position born distant revive magnificent shop sir army struggled deal plural rich rhythm rely poem company string locate church mystify elegant led actual responsible japanese huge fun meat observe swim office chart avoid factories block called experience win crumple brilliant located pole bought conditions sister details primary survey truck recall disease radio rate scatter decay signal approach launch hair age amount scale pounds although per broken moment tiny possible gold milk quiet natural lot stone act build middle speed count consonant someone sail rolled bear wonder smiled angle fraction Africa killed melody bottom trip hole poor let’s fight surprise French died beat exactly remain fingers clever coast explore imitate pierce rare symbol triumph ancient cling disturb expose perform remote timid bashful brief compete consider delightful honor reflex remark brink chill conquer fortunate fury intend pattern vibrant wit

7.1

capture remark western outcome risk current bold compare resident ambition arrest furthermore desire confuse accurate disclose considerable contribute calculate baggage literacy noble era benefit orchard shabby content precious manufacture dusk afford assist demonstrate instant concentrate sturdy severe blend vacant weary carefree host limb pointless prepare inspire shallow chamber vast ease attentive source frantic lack recent distress basic permit threat analyze distract meadow mistrust jagged prefer sole envy hail reduce arena tour annual apparent recognize captivity burrow proceed develop humble resist peculiar response communicate circular variety frequent reveal essential disaster plead mature appropriate attractive request congratulate address destructive fragile modest attempt tradition ancestor focus flexible conclude venture impact generosity routine tragic crafty furious blossom concern ascend awkward master queasy release portion plentiful alert heroic extraordinary frontier descend invisible coax entrance capable peer terror mock outstanding valiant typical competition hardship entertain eager limp survive tidy antonym duplicate abolish approach approve glory magnificent meek prompt revive watchful wreckage audible consume glide origin prevent punctuate representative scorn stout woe arch authentic clarify declare grant grave opponent valid yearn admirable automatic devotion distant dreary exhaust kindle predict separation stunt

7.2

evade debate dedicate budge available miniature petrify pasture banquet pedestrian solitary decline reassure nonchalant exhibit realistic exert abuse dictate minor monarch concept character strategy soar beverage tropical withdraw challenge kin navigate purchase reliable mischief solo combine vivid aroma spurt illuminate narrator retain excavate avalanche preserve suspend accomplish exasperate obsolete occasion myth reign sparse gorge intense revert antagonist talon aggressive alternate retire cautiously blizzard require endanger luxurious senseless portable sever compensate companion visual immense slither guardian compassion escalate detect protagonist oasis altitude assume seldom courteous absurd edible identical pardon approximate taunt achievement homonym hearty convert wilderness industrious sluggish thrifty deprive independent bland confident anxious astound numerous resemble route access jubilation saunter hazy impressive document moral crave gigantic bungle prefix summit overthrow perish visible translate comply intercept feeble exult compose negative suffocate frigid synonym appeal dominate deplete abundant economy desperate diligent commend boycott jovial onset burden fixture objective siege barrier conceive formal inquire penalize picturesque predator privilege slumber advantage ambition defiant fearsome imply merit negotiate purify revoke wretched absorb amateur channel elegant grace inspect lame tiresome tranquil boast eloquent glisten ideal infectious invest locate ripple sufficient uproar

8.1

apprehensive dialogue prejudice marvel eligible accommodate arrogant distinct knack deposit liberate cumulative consequence strive salvage chronological unique vow concise influence lure poverty priority legislation significant conserve verdict leisure erupt beacon stationary generate provoke efficient campaign paraphrase swarm adhere eerie mere mimic deteriorate literal preliminary solar soothe expanse ignite verge recount apparel terrain ample quest composure majority collide prominent duration pursue innovation omniscient resolute unruly optimist restrain agony convenient constant prosper elaborate genre retrieve exploit continuous dissolve dwell persecute abandon meager elude rural retaliate primitive remote blunder propel vital designate cultivate loathe consent drastic fuse maximum negotiate barren transform conspicuous possess allegiance beneficial former factor deluge vibrant intimidate idiom dense awe rigorous manipulate transport discretion hostile clarity arid parody boisterous capacity massive prosecute declare stifle remorse refuge predicament treacherous inevitable ingenious plummet adapt monotonous accumulate reinforce extract reluctant vacate hazardous inept diminish domestic linger context excel cancel distribute document fragile myth reject scuffle solitary temporary veteran assault convert dispute impressive justify misleading numerous productive shrewd strategy villain bluff cautious consist despise haven miniature monarch obstacle postpone straggle vivid aggressive associate deceive emigrate flexible glamour hazy luxurious mishap overwhelm span blemish blunt capable conclude detect fatigue festive hospitality nomad supreme

8.2

exclude civic compact painstaking supplement habitat leeway minute hoax contaminate likeness migration commentary extinct tangible originate urban unanimous subordinate collaborate obstacle esteem encounter futile cordial trait improvises superior exaggerate anticipate cope evolve eclipse dissent anguish subsequent sanctuary formulates makeshift controversy diversity terminate precise equivalent pamper prior potential obnoxious radiant predatory presume permanent pending simultaneously tamper supervise perceived vicious patronize trickle stodgy rant oration preview species poised perturb vista wince yearn persist shirk status tragedy trivial snare vindictive wrath recede peevish rupture unscathed random toxic void orthodox subtle resume sequel upright wary overwhelm perjury uncertainty prowess utmost throb pluck pique vengeance pelt urgent substantial robust sullen retort ponder whim saga sham reprimand vocation assimilate dub defect accord embark desist dialect chastise banter inaugurate ovation barter muse blasé stamina atrocity deter principal liberal epoch preposterous advocate audacious dispatch incense deplore institute deceptive component subside spontaneous bonanza ultimate wrangle clarify hindrance irascible plausible profound infinite accomplish apparent capacity civilian conceal duplicate keen provoke spurt undoing vast withdraw barrier calculate compose considerable deputy industrious jolt loot rejoice reliable senseless shrivel alternate demolish energetic enforce feat hearty mature observant primary resign strive verdict brisk cherish considerate displace downfall estimate humiliate identical improper poll soothe vicinity abolish appeal brittle condemn descend dictator expand famine portable prey thrifty visual

9.1

stance vie instill exceptional avail strident formidable rebuke enhance benign perspective tedious aloof encroach memoir mien desolate inventive prodigy staple stint fallacy grope vilify recur assail tirade antics recourse clad jurisdiction caption pseudonym reception humane ornate sage ungainly overt sedative amiss convey connoisseur rational enigma fortify servile fastidious contagious elite disgruntled eccentric pioneer abet luminous era sleek serene proficient rue articulate awry pungent wage deploy anarchy culminate inventory commemorate muster adept durable foreboding lucrative modify authority transition confiscate pivotal analogy avid flair ferret decree voracious imperative grapple deface augment shackle legendary trepidation discern glut cache endeavor attribute phenomenon balmy bizarre gullible loll rankle decipher sublime rubble renounce porous turbulent heritage hover pithy allot minimize agile renown fend revenue versa gaunt haven dire doctrine intricate conservative exotic facilitate bountiful cite panorama swelter foster indifferent millennium gingerly conscientious intervene mercenary citadel obviously rely supportive sympathy weakling atmosphere decay gradual impact noticeable recede stability variation approximately astronomical calculation criterion diameter evaluate orbit sphere agricultural decline disorder identify probable thrive expected widespread bulletin contribution diversity enlist intercept operation recruit survival abruptly ally collide confident conflict protective taunt adaptation dormant forage frigid hibernate insulate export glisten influence landscape native plantation restore urge blare connection errand exchange

9.2

feasible teem pang vice tycoon succumb capacious onslaught excerpt eventful forfeit crusade tract haggard susceptible exemplify ardent crucial excruciating embargo disdain apprehend surpass sporadic flustered languish conventional disposition theme plunder ignore project complaint title dramatic delivery litter experimental clinic arrogance preparation remind atomic occasional conscious deny maturity closure stressed translator animate observation physical further gently registration suppress combination amazing constructive allied poetry passion ecstasy mystery cheerful contribution spirit failed gummy commerce prove disagreement raid consume embarrass preference migrant devour encouragement quote mythology destined destination illuminating struggle accent ungrateful giggle approval confidence expose scientist operation superstitious emergency manners absolutely swallow readily mutual bound crisp orient stress sort stare comfort verbal heel challenging advertisement envious sex scar astonish basis accuracy enviable alliance specific chef embarrassed counter tolerable sympathetic gradually vanish informative amaze royal furry insist jealousy simplify quiver collaborate dedicated flexible function mimic obstacle technique archaeologist fragment historian intact preserve reconstruct remnant commence deed exaggeration heroic impress pose saunter wring astound concealed inquisitive interpret perplexed precise reconsider suspicious anticipation defy entitled neutral outspoken reserved sought equal absorb affect circulate conserve cycle necessity seep barren expression meaningful plume focused genius perspective prospect stunned superb transition assume guarantee nominate

10.1

install reticent corroborate regretfully strength murder concise cunning intention holy satire query confused progression disillusion background mundane abrupt multiple enormously introduce emulate harmful pragmatic pity rebut liberate enthusiastic elucidate camaraderie disparage nature creep profitability impression racist sobriety occupy autonomy currently amiable reiterate reproduce cripple modest offer atom provincial augment ungratefully expansion yield rashly allude immigration silence epitome exacerbate somber avid dispute vindicate collaborate manufacturer embellish superficial propaganda incompetent objective diminish statistics endure ambivalent perpetuate illuminate phenomenon exasperate originality restrict anxiety anthropology circumstances aesthetic manufacturing conventional dubious vulnerable reality precedent entity success term critical repair underscore stepmother republican hesitantly classic wary contents prediction immediate invoke notorious implicit excluding input skeptical foster element punish frank humanity profound dessert orthodox substance disappear encourage neighborhood elder superfluous naive ascertain complacent resilient deafening military tend prudent glare acceptance skillfully induce monster beam gullible conciliate vessel petty cantankerous disclose archaeology anecdote disdain electronics substantiate subjective tourism advisable joyful incredible provocative psychological ruins discipline condone indifferent misfortune judgmental industrialize tasty assume astute mission mar protective definitely escape oppress shocked virtual zealous endorse qualification hostile eccentric abstract disparate geographical scrutinize generalization tolerate activity claim dogmatic influential obsolete extol implausible subsequent resource chronic benevolent improve confidential ambiguous seriously dearth perplex hatred throughout dine contemporary evoke essentially economic flagrant obscure alleviate eloquent dreaadful clumsy sympathy victim condemn vigor condescend spontaneous quell reprehensible substantially sleeve equivocal ironic decry errand articulate progressive eradicate refreshments elicit aspiration recently exemplary bribery theoretical disingenuous partisan revere particle nostalgia self-aggrandizement debunk tyranny rhetoric hierarchy warning whimsical venerate commend assert miserable awful vibe constrain undermine explicit differentiate compliment scrupulous contempt erroneous ideal refute imply cynical rash presume insight revival vary delay renounce indignant offensive temperate circumstantial export peep logo advertise suppress distort chunk convoluted denounce overwhelming fertility rigorous acquire arrogant university antagonize profitable indulgent strategic breathing idiosyncrasy profession frugal discern accommodation adversary incredulous disturbance digress social belie roam smug continual pertinent voluntarily elite subtle blame sincerity lick horror censure involvement candid infer futile impetuous exploit bewilder sustain diligent sincere protect sealed musical empathy callous parenthetical insure acorn sarcasm seize sacrificially allege emphatic irrelevant progress diplomatic stunned improvise deride reconcile meticulous deject scientifically incontrovertible pressure justify gloomy depict supplant endurance analogous diary bolster slip contemplate pesticide glow religious advocate negligent creator lament fundamental embrace throne inherent inferior valuable thrive trivial pretense reserved capricious refresh refusal flight boost explanation coherent prevalent tenacious official royalty assassin rub poach delete

10.2

warrant circumscribed somewhat explosive optimistic mandate previously detract opinion intuitive feasible intimate persistent humble simplicity tempt deliberate painful unethical fundamentals discrepancy remorse pessimistic possibility conclusion acknowledge impregnate soberly creation paralyze suitability oblige tranquil medal arbitrate pacify illusory susceptible vibrate vengeance infection democratic stressful grave speculative sample identification stifle obligation revenge organization namely mediocre practical scream weaken consensus affectionate deficient treacherous console isolation ingenious memory melodrama despair awestruck composition regret recommendation celebrity decision devoid opaque ornamentation longevity participate dread restore interrogate aid accordingly mislead embarrassment optimism domestic apt funds virtue geography fundamentally thoroughly press despite horrible chilling rental esteemed disappointment innovative contemplation assign popularize haunt deafen serene percent estrangement suffer extravagant throng estimate comment priesthood mass dreadfully promote periphery animated saying relate clarity triple derivative succeed distortion register suicide improvement discreet inquisition probable curative incident praise convenience baffle covet dreadful genuinely weary undisturbed disgruntled humility renown nonchalant monopoly comedy vague decisive inconsequential announcement fabricated nevertheless vigilant scarce neglectful hushed attainment tedious explode snatch pslm agency sentimental tension adhere meanwhile sacred avert conformity likewise challenger accessible responsibility peril contact event roast fallible catastrophic competitor violate resolute deceive exaggeration discredit intolerable approve paste dimly novelist demeanor norm politician satisfaction obvious vehicle reservation defer involve restoration crush audible assistant backpack attain inanimate commemorate confrontation emigration parasite disperse quantitative laughter policy vulgar occasionally repay effective eulogy starvation empty therapeutic overall immortal encompass inappropriate opportune engagement illustrate turmoil observatory classification expression reminiscence comedian invention depress remedy protagonist gesture texture diplomatic election prolong conducive emotional invigorate curiosity expressive %

K-12 Words was originally published on PinkWrite

[officialydonefanfiction]

Split Across the Continents Chapter #11

The Hayes’ house was in a fairly seedy part of town with two floors and a small back yard. Sophie’s room for the mission was fairly small but comfortable with a twin bed, small desk and a dresser. It didn’t matter much to her as she didn’t really intend to stay in it for long. They had all moved in the previous day with the intent for Sophie to start school the next day. Tony and Ziva were sitting at the kitchen table sipping on mugs of either tea or coffee feeling slightly on edge. Sophie had been in the house about ten minutes before she had spotted some of the neighbourhood kids hanging out in a dilapidated old playground and she had figured it would be best if she went and showed her face. Ziva had been about to stop her when she remembered that Sophie’s primary goal was to get involved in the gang as opposed to keeping her away from it.

The kids hanging out in the playground were made up of all ages and colours with the unifying thing between them being the extreme boredom. Sophie knew that there was a Youth Centre a few blocks away but she also knew that any place specifically designed for kids is the last place they would pick to go to. The oldest kid there was a tall guy who had his arm around a scantily dressed girl and they were sharing a cigarette. A couple of of other kids were intent on setting fire to a trash can whilst the youngest kids including a few Sophie’s age were standing awkwardly around unsure of where they were supposed to go. Sophie sidled up to one of the kids who looked a little lost, a skinny girl with big hair and a nervous smile. “Hi, I just moved in down the street. Is there anything good going on round here?” Sophie started watching the girl. “Not much. Welcome to the world’s most boring shithole.” The girl muttered but she didn’t sound unwelcoming. She pulled out her cellphone and started tapping out a text. “I’m Sophie.” Sophie added. “Kendra.” “Have you lived around here for long?” Sophie tried to keep the conversation casual. “All my life. Where’d the accent come from?” Kendra asked showing the smallest interest in keeping up the conversation. “Britain. Lived there until recently. Got kicked out my old school.” This perked up Kendra’s interest. She looked up from her cell phone, peering at Sophie. “What for?” “Messing around too much, ditching school, that sort of thing.” Sophie replied. “Same here. School’s boring. You know something, Sophie, if you get to school tomorrow and don’t feel like sticking around, me and some others are gonna go to the mall, get some clothes, you know?” Kendra added, her tone suddenly turning conspicuous. “Is this the sort of trip where I’m not going to need money?” Sophie caught on quickly smiling at Kendra. “Not if you don’t feel like paying.” Kendra smiled at her, seeming warm for the first time since they met.

At that moment, there was a massive tire squeal and a flashy convertible screeched to a stop next to the teenagers. In the driver’s seat there was a ripped, six foot six dude with a shaved head pumping the gas whilst head banging along to a pop song that was blaring out of the speakers. Next to him was a big chested girl who was also singing along with her voice muted by the speakers. In the back there was another couple, heartily making out. Some of the bigger guys piled onto the hood, dragging a few of the other kids in with them. “Finally something interesting going on here.” Kendra said as she smirked at Sophie. Kendra and Sophie were quite a bit younger than the other teenagers so made no move to pile into the car with the others. “Gonna join us Kendra?” An older boy yelled at her. “No thanks Micky. Don’t want to get in on your foursome with the other guys.” Kendra yelled back as the others all jeered at her burn. “Roasted by the kid sister.” One of them yelled as he punched who Sophie assumed was Micky on the shoulder. Micky punched him back and made a move to go hit his sister when someone yelled from the end of the road. “Coppers! Coppers!” The scramble in the car was massive as the guy in the driver’s seat slammed on the gas and the car screeched away taking the teenagers with it. Kendra flicked the bird before starting to run. Sophie chased after her as the sirens got closer. Kendra and Sophie ducked down a back alley that led towards the youth centre. They both slowed to a walk as Kendra fought to catch her breath. Sophie’s extensive training meant that the two hundred feet that they had run was not enough to wind her but clearly this short distance was enough to have Kendra fighting for breath. “If any of the coppers come round here, we were both in the Youth Centre. They nick anyone round here.” Kendra muttered to Sophie as they went into the Youth Centre. It had opened up just a few months ago but it was already covered in graffiti with the pool tables ripped. A couple of eight-year-olds were playing on the X-Box with a half hearted supervisor reading a romance novel in the corner. Kendra grabbed a pool cue before throwing another one at Sophie. Everyone else at the playground seemed to have had the same idea of reconvening at the Youth Centre. As it was only seven in the evening, it was too early to go home but nobody fancied being arrested either. There was an unspoken agreement that when the cops came knocking everyone would claim that they were at the Youth Centre the whole time and every other kid would back them up. “How long till the cops get here?” Sophie asked feeling her cellphone vibrate in her pocket. Kendra shrugged before hitting one of the balls with her pool cue. “Depends if they can catch the guys in the car. Kyle, the driver, was high as a kite so it should be a fairly quick chase. Kind of stupid for them to pinch a judge’s car though.” Kendra muttered. “It’s all flash and there was no way that they could strip it down fast enough to sell so that was all for show. My Mom is gonna be super mad if Micky was caught.” Sophie listened to all this nodding along. Kendra seemed to be implying that they regularly stole cars for parts but there was nothing in the briefing that had mentioned that. “They get cars for parts?” Sophie asked quietly. “Yeah. My brother works for some garage and he says that parts are worth far more than the full car. Never seen Micky do it but doesn’t surprise me if he is selling stuff on the side.” Kendra said as Sophie played her shot. The white ball smacked into two balls causing them to both roll into the end pocket. Sophie punched the air in victory and offered her cue to Kendra. “Cops have just walked in.” Sophie added as she handed the cue over. Sophie felt her phone buzz again and discreetly pulled it out of her pocket. Five missed calls from Ziva and twice as many texts. She scrolled through picking up the general message of picking up her phone as well as wanting to know where she was. Sophie tapped out a message detailing her location and telling her not to worry. Sophie rolled her eyes at the immediate reply she got telling her to come home. Sophie rolled her eyes at this. She had made friends and not been arrested on the first day. This should be counted as a win. Sophie replied asking if it was supper, their code for asking if it was an emergency. The reply was immediate but that it wasn’t an emergency. Sophie pocketed the phone, managing not to reply sarcastically but nonetheless angry at Ziva. The cops were going round asking the kids if they knew anyone in the car. Sophie and Kendra were both overlooked in their rounds, probably they assumed that they were too young. Sophie and Kendra played a few more rounds of pool whilst the police did their round. “Okay kids, time to head home. Best not show your faces outside tonight.” The middle-aged cop yelled to the crowd at the end of the interrogation. There was some grumbling as the kids gradually began to drift towards the door. “This is boring anyway.” “Nothing exciting happens here anyway.” “Wanna hit my place?” The conversations of the older kids drifted away as Sophie and Kendra left the building. They walked together back down the alley they had come from. Both of them were shivering in just their hoodies. Sophie wished she had brought her coat. “See you tomorrow at school?” Kendra confirmed as she turned to head down a different street. “Yeah, I should probably make sure my Mom’s head doesn’t explode.” Sophie smiled and both girls rolled their eyes. “My Mom doesn’t care what Micky does but if I arrive late, she goes nuts.” Kendra laughed. Sophie watched as Kendra walked down the most run down street of the neighbourhood.

Sophie continued on for a few blocks putting off answering the call from Ziva. What was her problem? Sophie was already annoyed at Ziva’s inability to leave her alone for five minutes. She stomped up the drive hugging her hoodie around herself but nonetheless pleased at her progress. She had already made a friend who knew quite a lot of what was going on. She unlocked the door to the house and immediately appreciated the warmth. She hoped she could sneak upstairs before facing Ziva. She had kind of ditched them earlier without much warning but then mission first. Sophie was unlucky in her attempt as Ziva called her into the kitchen. Sophie sauntered into the kitchen catching sight of Gibbs, Sam, Tony, and Ziva. Sophie mentally cheered at this, she could just give a mission progress report and then go shower. “How did it go?” Sam was the first one to ask her. “Great. I have made friends with Kendra. From what I gathered, her brother works for a dodgy garage that sells on spare parts for cars. She mentioned that a couple of guys were drug users and she had a fairly good knowledge of what to do if the cops came knocking showing me that she had dealt with cops before. We are meeting up at school tomorrow.” Sophie reported leaving out the detail where she was skipping school. Unit J agents are allowed to break the law to keep their cover but Sophie didn’t particularly want to hand over her stolen goods that came with being allowed to break the law. She also remembered in that moment that most of this room were cops normally. “That’s great work, Sophie.” Sam said tapping the new information into his laptop. “Did you catch the name of the brother?” “Kendra said that his name was Micky but I am guessing that it’s a nickname.” Sophie replied her stomach rumbling with hunger. Maybe Tony and Ziva had made some food… Sophie was startled by Ziva sudden exclamation which Sophie could tell she had been waiting to make. “Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Ziva exploded. Sophie had been expecting this but still felt indignant. Did she not understand the concept of undercover work? “If you are trying to get in with the type of people who deal drugs, I can’t just answer the phone to a worried parent every time you call? How pathetic does that make me look?” Sophie snapped back. “All we heard was the police sirens and tire screeching and we didn’t know if there had been a hit and run! We didn’t know if you were hurt!” Ziva continued as if she hadn’t heard her. Tony touched her arm as if trying to calm down. Sophie just stared open mouthed at her before she grabbed a bag of chips and went upstairs trying to control her anger. She slumped on the bed stuffing a few chips into her mouth in one go. Salt and Vinegar flavoured weren’t her favourite but was enough to control her anger. Between each mouthful of chips, Sophie muttered about not being able to answer the phone whilst she was undercover. She angrily thought of how her last mission had allowed her to be completely solo, often not talking to a mission controller for weeks whilst gathering intel. She had managed to save hundreds of lives when she had discovered the bomb plot yet here she was getting yelled at for being in a rough neighbourhood for a few hours.

Downstairs, everyone was still reeling at Ziva’s outburst. Ziva had calmed herself down and even felt a little ashamed. Eventually Sam spoke up. “Ziva, Sophie is right. This was just a showing your face type of interaction. There will be periods of time where she won’t be answering her phone or being able to be in contact with anyone. If you have a problem with that, then we need to address this now.” Sam said quietly. He had been just as shocked as Sophie as her outburst. “Sophie has a lot of experience working alone and probably is not appreciating you underestimating her. I will go talk to her.” Sam added as he made his way over to the staircase. “Get it together, both of you or this mission will fall apart. Now is not the time to mourn the loss of your daughter or be scared for Sophie. She has the training to keep herself safe. Make up with her tonight.” Gibbs commanded before leaving the house. Ziva sank into the chair trying to comprehend what she had just done. When she hadn’t been able to contact Sophie, she had flashed back to the months of radio silence when she first lost her daughter. That fear had manifested itself and all she could feel was the terror of being in the dark. “Are you okay?” Tony settled beside her. “I am tired of feeling scared. Sophie isn’t even mine but all I could think was how scared I was when I heard the sirens and to know that it’s just going to get worse…” Ziva trailed off fighting to control her breathing. “She has more training than us in dealing with this. You should probably go talk to her about this.” Tony added. “Employ our own rule of never going to bed angry with each other.” Ziva nodded feeling confident that she wasn’t going to start crying.

Sam had talked to Sophie saying that she had done good work but to try to manage a text every so often confirming her whereabouts. Sophie had since calmed down and wanted to go take a shower looking forward to the warm water on her otherwise cold body when she heard the knock on her door. Ziva walked into the tiny room and settled next to her on her bed. Sophie stared at the ceiling not really in the mood to talk to them. “Gibbs has a set of rules, one of which is to never apologize. He says it’s a sign of weakness. I am going to make an exception to the rule here.” Ziva started her voice even. “I’m sorry, Sophie. I know you were just doing your job and I overreacted to you being gone for so long.” Sophie looked at her for a while. She had never before had an adult apologize to her and mean it. “It’s okay.” Sophie said in a small voice smiling to show she meant it. Sophie was then completely taken off guard when Ziva pulled her into a hug. As a Unit J agent, she didn’t have lots of people hugging her. The carers when she was a junior agent had hugged her but in recent years, she could count on one hand the hugs she had had. Ziva just pulled her in and wrapped her arms around her and Sophie nearly froze up. Her head was resting just below her shoulder with the rest of her body being held against Ziva’s. It felt weird but nice and she didn’t feel as cold anymore. Ziva felt everything in her settle for a bit and the fear was for the moment muted in how calm she felt. Sophie had frozen for a second and Ziva remembered that as an undercover agent, Sophie didn’t have a family back in the UK so she probably wasn’t hugged that much. The thought of the young girl currently sitting in her lap not being hugged was enough for Ziva to hold her more tightly. She watched as Tony poked his head round the door. “Everything okay?” He had mouthed. Ziva nodded in response before shifting Sophie into a slightly more comfortable position and holding her tightly for as long as she could get away with.

#ncis #tiva #family #fanfic #casefic