#sins week 2021

[cowpokeomens]

absolution

Pairing: Pastor!Joakim "Jolly" Karlsson x fem!reader

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI!!!!!!!!! A looot of references to religion (it all takes place in a church, so), smut smut smut (p-in-v) I'm including dubcon bc consent is weird with power dynamics, age gaps (10 yr) (everyone is of legal age though!!), some body horror stuff, power imbalance, I think that's all but if you come across something that I missed please reach out so I can tag accordingly!!! Love u bye!!!

A/N: This was really cathartic to write lmao I have a sprinkling of Religious Trauma and this helped me work through some of those feelings in my own weird horny way. It is porn, please don't start expecting me to be some kinda respectable writer with plotlines or whatever. PLEASE HEED THE TAGS. Okay enjoy!!!!

The guilt of it is eating you alive. 

The pressure between your legs- the raw, empty ache that plagues you day in and day out. Sitting on your pew, you are once again swept away by long, glossy hair and inked knuckles, turning sacred pages of a holy book that can do nothing to hold your attention at this moment.

What an impression of Christ he makes, you think to yourself, sounding hypnotized even in your internal monologue. 

He arrived when you were 19, to your small town, to your even smaller church. The rest of the folks in town think your congregation is too… fanatical. You can’t imagine a world in which someone could be over-zealous for the word of God, and even so, Pastor Karlsson had done a lot to level the congregation out. 

He was a divorcee, not by his choice, he has said. He was only 29 when he first rolled into town, funny accent and even funnier sounding name causing immediate distrust in your tight-knit community.

But God, did he have a testimony. Sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll, the tattoos adorning his body told you the story better than those gaudy stained glass windows in the snobby Catholic churches ever could. A lecherous lifestyle with a woman who didn’t love him, not really - not the way you do. He had humbled himself to you all, and you gladly let him in. He was made a pillar in your community - he became a leader to the congregation.

Which is why you always suppressed your feelings, putting them in a locked sarcophagus and hurling it to the far recesses of your mind. You will not be the thing that tries to come between him and the Lord.

You look up at him as he speaks, standing at the pulpit and wielding the word of God like the Archangel Michael who so valiantly struck down Satan. He who is made in God’s image; Had it not been for your utter devotion to the Lord, you would have wondered if he could sin at all.

But you knew better. Everyone carried their own sins. You had heard stories of husbands and wives who idolized each other so much that they left the church altogether. Your heart broke at the thought of leaving God’s light to worship something as sinful as human flesh, couldn’t imagine risking an eternity of paradise for what would one day be dust. 

Not that you’d know, of course. You’d never felt the touch of a man outside of when Pastor Karlsson baptized you the day before your 21st birthday. It had been fuel for weeks, his gentle hand on your back, guiding you underneath the water of the river that ran out behind the church. You had stuffed yourself full of your own fingers that night, stuffed your mouth full of bed linens so that no one would hear how you came undone at the mere thought of him. 

Perhaps you are the lecherous one, after all. Though you can’t help but think that God has given you Pastor Karlsson on purpose, as a test of your faith. A test that you believed you were passing, for the most part. You haven’t missed a Sunday sermon since you caught the flu in 2021, and even so, you watched the livestreams on Facebook. You keep your nose in your Bible, and ignore the clench in your gut when he tells you good morning. 

This morning is different. 

This morning is worse. 

You just come off of your period- disgusting and uncomfortable as it was, you are thankful it was over and you can enjoy the rest of your June in peace. But it lingers under your skin, an itch that can’t be scratched. Your emotions are raw, and you burst into tears twice this week, unprompted. Worst of all is the ache. 

You didn’t know you could feel so empty. It claws at your insides like a caged beast, mockingly calling in the voice of Moloch himself, “Fill me up, fill me up.”

You threw yourself headfirst into your studies; you reviewed Ecclesiastes as a way to ground yourself, to remind yourself that this was a temporary feeling, and would pale in comparison to the absolution of Heaven. 

Still, sitting in your pew, you felt the hunger gnashing at you, gnawing at your throat. It was overwhelming, all-consuming. You stutter through your hymnal, barely reading half the words. Your mother keeps giving you concerned looks, your father aloof as ever. Halfway through the sermon, she hisses in your ear, “What is the matter with you?” 

You blink up at her, wide-eyed, and stammer out a “I - I don’t know. I feel… weird.” 

She purses her lips, but says nothing, turning back to Pastor Karlsson in the pulpit. 

You pass the time in silence, feeling itchy and hot, until the sermon concludes, and everyone makes a mass exodus to the dirt lot where their cars are parked.

“Hold on.” Your mother stops you as you begin exiting your pew. 

She walks over and, to your utter horror, greets Pastor Karlsson, pulling him aside and speaking to him in hushed tones. He nods once, glancing at you, then nods again as she steps away. She looks grateful, patting his shoulder in that way that mothers do. 

He looks at you then, and his full attention is enough to make you combust. Suddenly your dress is too tight on your chest, your breasts straining with every breath against the linen that encases you. Your bones itch, but your hands stay resolutely tucked into your sides, your Bible held against your chest.

You’re so busy focusing on breathing that you don’t realize he’s walking towards you until he’s right in front of you, smiling warmly while greeting you by name. Your mother is by his side, looking at you in such a way that tells you she had something to do with this interaction. 

“Darling, Pastor Karlsson here wants a word with you. He even said he’d give you a ride back to the house! I’ll set aside a plate for you at home, you two take your time here.” She was smiling in a way that made all of her teeth visible, like a snarling animal. A lead brick settles in your stomach at the expression as you look up at Pastor Karlsson.

He was so tall, you think as you peer up at him. Dark eyes meet yours, making your gaze flicker away to something else- anything else to avoid the intensity you find there. Looking directly into his eyes was like looking into the maw of a starving beast- you weren’t brave enough to even consider it.

Your mother departs with a final “Wonderful sermon, Joakim, thank you!” Flashing one of her pageant smiles at him - one she’s never given your father - as she goes. 

He nods politely, murmuring a quiet, “All the glory to God.” before turning back to you. He gives you a thoughtful look before he speaks again.

“Your mother is concerned about you.” His tone was not accusatory or pointed, just repeating facts. 

You inhale shakily. “Yeah, I feel kind of weird today.” Admitting to such a thing is not a lie - you do feel weird today. 

He nods, as if understanding. Then, “Would you like to speak in my office? I have to pick up a few things, then we can head out.”

The thought of being in an enclosed space with him made you almost pass out, but you persevere, giving a meek nod as you follow him out of the sanctuary.

It was a short walk from the sanctuary to his office, your church is small, even among small churches. You love its modesty; It is a far cry from the towering spires and flying buttresses you saw in your history books back in school, but it has a self-effacing quality that makes it approachable to people from all walks of life. 

The walls are painted white, though slightly yellowed with age. Dark wood lines the floor, blue carpet cushioning your steps as you walk. There aren’t many windows - it was built for insulation, not sight-seeing, after all. Crosses hang sporadically throughout the hallways, some wooden, carved by members, others purchased at a discount at the craft stores a few towns over. 

His office is a glorified coat closet, something the elders threw together haphazardly when God called him to serve. It fit a desk, a desktop computer that was older than dirt, and two chairs, one on either side of the desk. The carpet is green, the walls beige, and you have always thought it is an entirely unbecoming space for such a Godly man. It’s a good thing he was humble; God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble, you think, almost bitterly, as he sits down in the chair by the computer. You make a mental note to work on your own humility as you sit down in the chair opposite him. 

“So, what’s got you feeling weird?” He asks with a small smile, putting his elbows on the desk and lacing his fingers together. His hair falls over his shoulders with the movement, cascading down in a curtain of silk. You remind yourself to breathe. 

Stammering, you try to explain yourself. “I’m- I’m not sure, Pastor Karlsson-”

“Joakim.” He interrupts you gently. 

You blink at him, confusion evident in your face. He must find something about the expression amusing, because he’s smiling softly and continuing, “You can call me Joakim. We’re both grown-ups here.”

You swallow loudly, the sound all but ricochets in the stillness of the room. “R-right. I’m not really sure why I feel so weird. I just had a really hard time focusing today.” You suddenly realize what you’ve said, correcting yourself quickly. “Not that the sermon wasn’t good! Your sermons are always wonderful, Pastor Karls - Joakim.” 

He’s smiling broadly now, clearly entertained by your flailing. “It’s okay, käresta, I understand what you mean." A pause, then he lowers his hands. "Is there something on your mind specifically? Something that’s preventing you from focusing?”

You go still, scared to breathe too fully, lest it give you away. Your eyes slide to the ground, teeth coming out to gnaw at your lip. You can feel your heart racing in your throat- the throbbing sensation makes you wonder if you’ll actually vomit from anxiety. You freeze further when Joakim places a hand on your arm, gently.

His voice is barely audible when he whispers, “Hey, it’s okay. We all have our sins, and sin is sin -”

“- Is sin.” You finish for him, sounding unconvinced. You take a deep breath, then redirect your gaze back to him. His eyes are soft with concern, mouth pulled into the faintest frown. Hating to imagine you’re the reason he’s so upset, you blurt out before you can even process your words.

“I’ve been having lustful thoughts about a man in the congregation.” Once the words have been said, you fight the urge to grab them clean out of the air and stuff them back into your mouth. 

The hand on your arm tenses for half a second, then relaxes again. “Okay.” He begins calmly, pulling his hand back to the table. You resist the urge to whimper at the loss of contact. “I can see where your concern is coming from. Is this man married?”

There were only so many unmarried men in the congregation; it would be an easy elimination if you were truthful. But... You were already coming clean about one sin, no need to add on others, you reasoned. Shaking your head in a negative, you give a meek, “No, he’s not.”

Joakim nods thoughtfully, staying silent for a moment. You can all but see the gears turning in his mind, deducing who it could be. You wonder if he lists himself amongst the unmarried men- or if he is courting some woman, unbeknownst to you all. No, your mind fired at you venomously. He is not the sort of man to slink around in the shadows. 

Finally, he spoke. “While lust is never something to give full rein to, it is understandable, biologically speaking.” Upon seeing your confusion, he offers another soft smile, continuing. “You’re at an age where your body wants you to have children. It is what God made you for, it’s only natural that someone as devoted as you are would respond strongly to His plan. You’re not doing anything wrong, käresta.”

Relief floods your body, making your shoulders sag at the loss of tension. You aren’t doing anything wrong, Joakim even told you so. But that makes you wonder- is there anything you should be doing? You’re about to ask when he speaks again. 

“I’ve been wanting to speak with you privately for a while now.” He huffs a small laugh. “It seems the Lord thought today would be a good time, so it shall be.” 

You straighten your shoulders, sitting up, wanting to make sure he knows he has your full attention. Looking at him fully, you’re not surprised why your body is so responsive to him. He’s so handsome, even with the shadow of dark stubble on his face. You wonder what keeps him up at night, which chapters he gets stuck on for days before clarity dawns on him. It’s no mystery why your body is putting thoughts of lust in your mind; he’s the sort of man who would make a wonderful father. 

You cut off that train of thought, needing to focus on the present moment. He needs your full attention for whatever he’s going to say next. 

“The Lord has been communicating with me for some months now, on the topic of finding a wife.” You both take deep breaths, though for different reasons, you imagine. “You’ve heard my testimony on my previous marriage, so I don’t need to emphasize how much I’ve prayed about this.”

Your heart breaks, shatters, combusts into nothing but ash at his words. The Lord wants him to find a wife, and it sounds like he has someone in mind. You swallow the lump of bile in your throat, trying to listen to his next words as your guts fight the natural inclination to stay in your body.

“I’ve spoken to God a lot, the last few months- even by pastor standards.” The playful smile he gives you feels like a knife twisting in your chest. “And if I’m understanding his message correctly, I believe God wants me to court you.”

You’re so busy wallowing that you don’t understand what he’s said at first. The words sink in slowly, like the drip of an IV into your veins. When you think you understand, you manage a, “What?”

He chuckles, not a degrading sound, rather like he understands your confusion. “I know, it seems sudden, but I’ve been speaking to the Lord about this for many months, and-”

“Oh my goodness.” You interrupt as realization hits you like a freight train. “No - I know. I know. Because God has been speaking to me, too.”

Joakim’s brow furrows at you, and it feels nice to not be the confused one for once. 

You continue, looking up at him shyly. “The… lustful thoughts I’ve been having, they-” You pause, building up your courage. “They’re about you.” 

He’s frozen, mouth slightly agape as he processes your confession. His head tilts to the side slightly, eyes darker than usual as he asks, “You’ve been having lustful thoughts about… me?”

You nod, cheeks tinged pink. “When you’re in the pulpit - I try to focus, I really do, but my mind wanders to… other things.” 

You should be embarrassed, should be ashamed of admitting something so unbecoming. But the comfort of this being God’s plan washes away any ill regards you have about the situation; this is what He has always intended. 

“Other things?” He echoes, eyes focused on you intensely. His voice is hushed, only loud enough for the two of you to hear. “Like what?”

Your blush deepens at his inquiry. “Well, it’s more of a feeling than an exact thought…”

He’s leaning forward now, all but hanging over his desk at your words. He looks hungry, you realize suddenly; Like he’d seen firsthand the famine in Canaan, pupils blown wide, mouth open, breathing slowly. “A feeling?” He prompts.

Nodding, you find yourself leaning forward too, almost desperate to close the gap between you both. You can feel the dust in the air, hear the quiet electric hum of his old desktop computer. Your breath is coming too loudly, it ricochets off the walls around you both. “It feels like an ache.” You explain, sounding hoarse. “It feels like an emptiness.” 

He takes a shaky breath, pushing himself back from his desk in a controlled motion. Standing up, he makes his way around the desk to stand in front of you, one of his calloused hands guiding your chin up to look at him. 

“Do you want me to help you - with the emptiness? The ache?” He questions, eyes boring into yours. 

The thought of it makes your thighs clench together, and the feeling is so delicious that you almost vocalize it. Your mouth is dry, but you feel wetness gathering in your cotton panties already. You almost forget to respond, nodding and breathing out, “Yes, please.”

“Always so well-mannered.” He praises, making you feel warm. You would do just about anything for him to keep going.

The hand on your jaw guides you upward until you’re standing in front of him. You’re not touching, but you can feel the heat emanating from his body, feel the way the air vibrates between you. His eyes travel down to your lips, back up to your eyes, then down to your lips again. 

“Have you ever kissed a boy, lillis?” He asks, eyes half-lidded and voice quiet.

You shake your head, a tiny movement. “No.” You pause, then decide to continue. “I wanted to save myself.”

His inhale is sharp, deep. “Such a good girl.” The words light a fire in your belly, and the familiar gnawing is back, worse than ever before. You shift on your feet, subconsciously searching for any kind of friction. He picks up on the movement. 

“Do you feel empty, now? Are you desolate?” You can feel where his breath hits your face. If you tilted your head right, your lips would meet. The clothes you’re wearing feel itchy - too tight, too rough.  

You can’t speak, so you nod “yes.” His eyes run down your figure, back up again to your lips. 

“Show me where.” Is his only command. You can’t read his expression fully, features arranged into careful neutrality. The spark in his eyes seemed to hint at desperation, though.

Your face is probably the color of a sun-ripened tomato, but you do as he says, grabbing his free hand, guiding it between your legs. His fingers curl up through your skirt, cupping your mound. Your eyelids flutter shut at the contact, hands coming up to rest against his chest to steady yourself. Heartbeat racing, you don’t think there could be anything better than the feeling of what’s happening right now.

“Here? Is this where you feel empty?” His lips move against your cheek, breath fanning across your ear, making you shiver.

You blink several times, trying to clear your head. “Joakim, please.” Is all you can muster, fingers gripping at his shirt. 

You can feel him sag against you as his lips crash into yours. You’re not completely sure of what to do, allowing him to guide your lips open, licking into your mouth. You hear yourself groaning into the kiss, crowding impossibly closer until your bodies are pressed against each other fully. 

He breaks the embrace to place wet, open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, down your neck. The feeling is euphoric, making your hips buck into his without conscious decision.

Hands run down your sides, coming up again underneath your dress skirt to grip at the backs of your thighs, yanking you forward with such force that you almost topple over. His left hand is at your back in an instant, holding you steady before unzipping the back of your dress in a swift motion. 

The material pools around your front, hanging loosely until you pry it off, happy to be rid of the too-rough fabric at last. His lips are back on yours in an instant, one hand gripping the back of your neck while the other kneads the flesh of your breast through your bra. 

You outright moan at the feeling, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip as your mouth opens to let the sound out. He works a knee between your legs, rubbing the meaty flesh of his thigh against your core in such a way that has you seeing spots in your vision. Fingers curling into claws where they grip onto his shoulders, you grind down onto his leg, an animalistic snarl escaping you as you do so. 

You know this feeling; Though it’s a sin to give into lust, you’ve made yourself climax before, silently, long after everyone had laid down to rest at night. This is so much more, though - you feel as though someone has soaked you in gasoline and laid a lit match to your flesh. Nothing could have torn you from the carnal desire you felt, being entwined with Joakim like this. You want to take turns ripping each other apart, severing limbs and gluing them back together until you have both been remade in His image. You want to bite and gnaw and lick until you taste blood, to soothe the worried skin with soft whispers and softer hands. Dragged to Hell and back, nailed to a cross and left to rot, rising from the dead with such vigor that Lazarus would envy you - you wanted it all, so long as this moment didn’t end.

“Joakim - I, I -” You choke out, eyes focusing on his, foreheads pressed together.

“Good girl, give it to me, everything you’ve got.” He urged you, the hand on your neck coming down against your hip, ushering your pelvis against his thigh. 

Burying your head in his chest, you climax with a wanton moan, body shuddering through the shockwaves of it. Your breathing is labored, vision blurry from clenching your eyes shut so tightly.

He’s gently prying you off his leg then, maneuvering your positions until you find yourself face-down on his desk. Using a knee, he nudges your knees apart until he fits comfortably between them. The new angle has you feeling vulnerable, visible, licentious. 

You don’t have time to dwell on the feeling, because suddenly his fingers are playing with your folds through your ruined panties. Your knees almost buckle at the stimulation, so sensitive it almost hurts. Gripping the other side of the desk to hold yourself upright, you do your very best to stay still as he explores your body. 

Two fingers hook into the side of your panties, moving them to the side. You know he can see everything like this, and while part of you is screaming at the debauchery of it, another, louder part of you hopes he likes what he sees. You’re fighting the urge to sneak a glance at him when the two fingers that moved your panties aside are thrust deep into your core. 

You let out a howl that could rival a rabid dog, nails scraping against the wooden laminate of the desk as your hands clench into fists. He’s curling his fingers inside you slowly, and you can feel every millimeter of it. A string of drool escapes your open mouth, cascading down into a puddle on a stack of prayer requests from this morning’s sermon. 

“That’s it, so good, just take it, lillis.” He murmurs, fingers still unfurling deep inside you. 

You don’t know that you can do anything but take it. His fingers are so much thicker than yours, taking up twice as much space as you’re used to. You feel wonderfully full, the emptiness inside you finally satiated.

But then he’s pulling them out, and you almost sob at the loss of it. You could feel your hole clenching on nothing, throbbing with want; Whether you enjoy it or not, you aren’t even sure. 

You hear a zipper, then the sound of something metallic hitting the carpet. When you turn your neck to see what’s happening, you’re met with the sight of Joakim’s full manhood on display. 

You’ve never seen a man naked before. There were pictures, shown to you unwillingly by the cruel boys who called you a “Bible-thumper” in school, but this is entirely different.

Joakim is… prettier, you think is the right word. His tip is pink, almost red, and wet-looking in the glow of the fluorescent office lights. Veins bulge along the length, throbbing at you angrily as if to mock the throbbing happening within you. It’s big, you realize suddenly. You can’t begin to fathom how it’s going to fit inside you, when his fingers alone made you feel so full already.

A hand is placed at the back of your neck, holding you flat in place. The weight is reassuring, grounding in its pressure as you’re pressed fully against the desk, the cool laminate a welcome reprieve from the fever burning in your skin. You feel him press his tip against your folds, running it through the slickness there, before slowly pushing past your threshold. 

“It hurts.” Is the first thing you whine, legs already trembling. It does hurt - in a sharp way, like stretching to reach your toes first thing in the morning. 

You gasp as he leans over, thrusting further into you as he whispers in your ear. “Shh, I know. It’s the price we must pay for our sin.” His murmur relaxes you a bit, reassures you of what you’re doing. Joakim would not lead you astray; God had spoken to him, given him fortitude in the last months. This was His plan.

The stretch continues as he slowly slides further into you, until your bodies are joined completely. You’re panting, open-mouthed as he fills you entirely. Your toes are barely brushing against the ground from how far he’s pushed you into the desk, corners digging into your hips sharply. 

A soothing hand runs up and down your spine, unraveling the muscles that have been pulled taut with anticipation. Your breathing slows, body easing around the intrusion until only the sensation of fullness remains.

Joakim pulls back then, a slow movement that has you inhaling harshly as he drags along your inner walls. Your mouth goes to ask him what he’s doing, when he slams back into you, cutting off your train of thought in favor of gargling on your breath. 

“Oh my God,” You keen, eyes so wide they might bulge out of your head altogether. 

A jarring slap lands against your backside, stinging skin left in its wake. “Do not take the Lord’s name in vain.” Joakim rasps, sounding as out of breath as you do. 

He pulls back again, only to crash back into you a half-second later. The force of it jolts you, making you wail as your hands reach out for something, anything to hold onto. Documents and envelopes fly onto the floor in your frenzy, looking as haphazard as you feel. 

He continues at an unrelenting pace, hand still firmly gripping the base of your neck from behind. You know you’re being loud; A distant part of you even registers that, given the circumstances, you should probably be much, much quieter. You can’t bring yourself to care, though, an endless chant of Joakim’s name falling from your lips as you do what you can to grind back into him.

The hand leaves your neck, coming down to grab onto your hip while his other hand mirrors the action. Your pelvis is lifted off the desk, thrusts never even pausing as the new angle drives him deeper into you. Tears spring in your eyes from the overstimulation, having climaxed only a few short minutes ago. 

This is absolution, You think. Being tangled together, conjoined like this - There is no fear of sin, no guilt at succumbing to the lust-filled desires of the flesh. As Joakim plunges himself into you, over and over, you find yourself almost dizzy with relief at the weight lifted off your shoulders, the panic of condemnation a distant memory. 

His arm wraps around the front of your hips, holding you in place, as his free hand tangles into your hair, yanking your head towards him. 

“Say the Lord’s prayer.” He groans in your ear, breath hot and sticky. “Beg for His forgiveness. ‘Our Father-’”

“‘-Who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.” You whimper, the words slipping off your tongue like muscle memory as your body is rocked back and forth by his thrusts. “‘Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth-” Your voice is cut off by your own gasp as he reaches something in you that you’ve never felt before. Knees shaking, you dig your fingers deeper into the mess of papers surrounding you to try and stabilize yourself. 

“Keep going. ‘On Earth, as it is in Heaven.’” He urges, grip tightening on you. 

“‘Give us today our daily bread,’” You continue, moaning pitifully as he drives into that same spot again. “‘And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.’”

Tears stream freely down your cheeks now, a mixture of pleasure and overstimulation driving you mad. Joakim is mouthing at the junction of your neck and shoulder, tongue brushing over a spot that makes you shiver into him. A fire is building in your belly, lapping at the bottom of your throat as you move closer and closer to climax. 

“‘L-lead us not into temp- temptation,’” You stutter, mind hazy with want. “‘But d-deliver us from evil.’”

Joakim’s voice is back in your ear. “‘For thine is the Kingdom,” A harsh thrust, “‘The Power,” Another thrust, “And the Glory forever.’” 

The fire burns so hot that it rips the oxygen straight out of your lungs. Your eyes struggle to stay open, fluttering closed each time he rams into you. A particularly harsh pull of your hair reminds you that he is waiting for your response.

“Amen.” You whisper, vision going white as you climax, body twitching forcefully in his arms. His hips stutter once before he buries himself inside you, spilling his seed into you as he does. 

Whether you lay there for seconds or days, you don’t know. Eventually, Joakim pulls out, a string of his release coming with him, rolling down the inside of your thighs. You whimper at the loss, still too sensitive to move. 

“C’mon, käresta, we need to get you dressed. Your mother will wonder where you are.” His voice is gentle behind you, hand rubbing against your lower back to rouse you. 

Your joints pop in protest as you try to push yourself up off the desk. The room is a mess of papers and scattered writing utensils, your dress nothing more than a rumpled pile of cloth on the ground. 

You slip it over your head gingerly, every muscle in your body somehow sore. Joakim zips up the garment for you, running his hands over your clothed back, as if to smooth the wrinkles. 

Turning to face him, you’re met with a soft pair of lips to your forehead, dark hair brushing against your cheeks. The kiss makes you feel brave as you ask, “Joakim?”

His eyes are warm as he gazes down at you, his fingers coming up to comb through your tangled hair. “Hmm?” Is his response as he works out a particularly knotted strand.

You flutter your eyelashes, a move that feels foreign, but somehow right. Looking up at him demurely, you ask, “Will you be leading tonight’s Bible study?”

#jolly karlsson smut #jolly karlsson fic #jolly karlsson x reader #jolly karlsson fanfiction #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fic #bad omens smut

[iconuk01]

What the actual hell?

A northern California restaurant chain will have to pay more than $140,000 in back pay after it ran a “shameless” wage theft scheme that involved a fake priest who had workers confess to any sins they committed while on the clock.

The owners and operators of Taqueria Garibaldi, a Sacramento-based restaurant chain, are also accused of threatening workers and fabricating timesheets as part of an effort to obstruct an investigation into the business. The US Department of Labor previously found that the company illegally denied workers overtime pay.

The labor department launched an investigation into Taqueria Garibaldi in 2021, at which point the business owners instructed employees to tell investigators that they worked 40 hours a week, were provided two days off and 30-minute breaks, and were paid only with checks, court records show.

Workers were also prohibited from using their usual digital attendance tracker and were instead told to write that they were only working 40-hour weeks on paper timesheets that were then processed by a third-party payroll company.

Employees did as they were told under threat of retaliatory actions such as firing and holding immigration statuses over their heads, according to the labor department.

[mourninglamby]

i return ashamedly on my hands and knees to the throne……i followed you on instagram in 2021 and continued to even when youshared opinions i disagreed with.. until after wilburs finale…..and then i left!!!!! i took YOUR VALID CRITICISM OF MEDIA PERSONALLY and WHINED IN A CORNER FOR A YEAR!!!!!!! and now i am back….i have grown, and acquired critical thinking skills and a nicotine addiction, and i have come to say YOU WERE RIGHT. ABOUT IT ALL!!i remembered your words after seeing everything that hashappened this week and am here to repent for the sin of disbelief………..and forgive me this as well, i am very high

😵‍💫😵‍💫holy cats… well I’m glad you changed ur mind ! I won’t pretend this ain’t very vindicating … a lot of ppl were very angry with my opinion on the ending and although I stand by what I said I think I was also experiencing a trigger that set my brain off by a month. anyways thank u for reconsidering hope u are well 💞🫶🌈

#nicotine addiction #is so funny #like I also smoked cigarettes for two #maybe three months #towards the end of dsmp #never smoked since. #crazy shit 😭

[lixiesfreckless]

Punch It | l. m.

➸ synopsis: there’s an unexpected opening for the leader position of Changbin’s street racing gang club. Naturally, Minho steps up, ready to fill in the role.

He didn’t expect anyone to challenge him, though.

➸ starring: lee minho x female reader(ft. idols from jypnation)

➸ word count: 5.1k

➸ general content: streetracer!minho, actual street racing, the reader and Minho are both too cocky for their own good, rivals to something more, unacknowledged sexual tension

➸ warnings: mild swearing, briefly mentioned alcohol consumption, reckless driving(it is street racing after all)

➸ rating: teen+

➸ author’s note: this is the first fic I posted that made me feel accomplished as a writer. at the time it was the longest thing I had ever written, and I wrote 4k of it in one day; something that was unheard of for me previously. I want this fic here as a reminder as to how far I’ve come as a writer. this was originally posted in 2021, though, so please understand that it is not up to par with my recent works.

♫ this fic has a soundtrack! you don’t need to listen to it while reading(especially if the lyrics will bother you), but dude. the vibes. the speed. we are breaking traffic laws in style.

yes, it’s meant to be listened to in that order. shuffling it will result in Minho cramming you into an air fryer for 20 minutes at 180 degrees.

♫- Sin City

“A shot of hard liquor please, skip the ice,” Changbin told the bartender, pointing towards his favorite brown bottle behind the counter. 

“Woah woah woah- what about our rule?” Hyunjin said, raising an eyebrow while putting a hand on the older man’s shoulder.

“Yes I know the rule; I was the one who made it,” Changbin scoffed, swatting Hyunjin’s hand away. You guys may break a lot of rules on the daily, but catching a DUI? That was out of the question. Which is why this particular club was used for group meetups and pit stops only; touch a drop of alcohol and you won’t be getting back behind your steering wheel.

Changbin turned to face everyone, sitting at the curved bar with questioning looks on their faces.

“Which I guess brings me to the reason why I called for us to meet today,” he sighed, watching how the rest of the crew glanced between each other nervously. Everyone had been sort of tense upon arrival, since this was a Thursday night instead of their usual Friday meetups.

“I'm stepping down as leader.”

“WHAT?!” was the collective reaction of all twelve members, some slamming their palms on the counter as they abruptly stood up.

“Okay so you don’t need any liquor, clearly you’re already drunk,” Minho rolled his eyes, swirling the ice around in a glass of water on the bar counter.

“Oh I’m sober,” he sighed, taking his keys and wallet out of his pocket, and you could see the color drain from Minho’s face as he realized that this wasn’t some sick joke.

“But why,” Hyunjin piped up, playing with his driving gloves. “You’re the best leader we’ve had since I joined the gang.” 

Everyone nodded in agreement; out of everyone that was there Hyunjin had been in the gang the longest, he would know better than anyone else.

Changbin was silent for a moment before he opened his wallet, taking out a small shiny Polaroid.

He slid it across the counter so the group could get a good look at it.

At the bottom, the name “Seo Chun Ja” was written hastily in black ink, along with a date that couldn’t have been more than a week ago.

In the photo was a woman that you had known by now to be his wife, but she was holding something in her arms on the hospital bed.

A baby girl.

Donning a knitted pink cap with yellow flowers, the child couldn’t have been bigger than Changbin’s forearm as she rested in her mother’s arms. 

It only took a couple of seconds for everyone to register what was going on.

“You’re…you’re a father?!” You squealed, leaning farther over the counter to see the bundle of joy in his wife’s arms. You weren’t the only one surprised; Changbin preferred to keep his personal life private, and the only indication that most people had that he was even married was from the gold band on his left ring finger. He smiled fondly at the photograph before nodding, and took the photo back into his fingertips.

“How old is she?” Someone chimed from the other end of the group.

“Three days? Or maybe four,” he chuckled, sliding the photo back into his wallet. “I don’t know, I haven’t gotten much sleep since she made her grand entrance into the world.”

“Does she cry a lot?” Hyunjin asked.

“Yeah.”

“Yup, she’s a Seo alright,” Minho chuckled, raising his eyebrows before taking another sip of his water. Changbin yelled in annoyance as Hyunjin high fived the older boy, cackling wildly.

Congrats and thanks were shared across the bar for another minute before everyone slowly fell silent, taking in the gravity of the situation as the bass thrummed through the room.

“So…does this mean you’re not going to race anymore?” You said quietly, looking up at Changbin. He squinted his eyes before taking a deep breath.

“No, I’m not going to stop racing,” he started, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. “I just don’t have the time for our weekly meetups, not until little Chun Ja can sleep through the night.” You nodded in understanding; racing while sleep deprived would be taking the fast track to heaven.

“And I mean…not that what we do is entirely life threatening, but the wifey is a bit worried that me barreling down the highway at 100 mph isn’t exactly keeping the family’s best interests at heart,” he chuckled nervously, taking the glass that the bartender slid to him and downing it in one go. “I’ll show up every once in a while though.”

“So who’s gonna be the next leader then?” Minho asked, finally putting his glass down.

Changbin threw the keys he had in his other hand towards the middle of the counter, and everyone’s eyes went wide.

Those were the keys to his favorite car, a sleek black 1993 Toyota MR2.

“Changbin, you drove that car here,” Hyunjin said, crossing his arms and tilting his head. “Who’s going to drive you home?”

“You will,” he grinned, and the tall boy slapped a hand to his forehead and groaned.

“I take back what I said about you being the best leader-”

“Shut it, pretty boy.”

“What do you even want us to do with those?” Yeji piped up, your favorite driving partner by far. Her hair was braided into one long platinum tail down her back, and although she used to race motocross, she picked up street racing because those types of bikes weren’t allowed on city roads.

Changbin cleared his throat.

“Since I’m not going to be racing all that frequently, I would hate to see my baby be locked up in a garage to rust away with my other SUVs, so…” he pushed the keys forward with his finger a bit more, “whoever thinks they’re the best driver, after me of course,” he snickered, and you could hear someone snort behind you. “Stand up and take the keys.”

Hyunjin and Minho stood up, but after glancing at Minho, Hyunjin sat back down, to which Minho chuckled to himself.

What Minho wasn’t expecting however, was for you to stand up too.

He stared at you in mild disbelief before looking away and scoffing.

“You’re kidding right?” He said, raising an eyebrow. You folded your arms, taking a defensive stance.

“I’m standing, aren’t I?”

Hyunjin took a sip of his virgin Shirley Temple and side eyed Yeji, who had the same mischievous look on her face.

“I test drove race cars for four years!”

“So?” Yeji chuckled, keeping her attitude at bay while fixing her gloves. “Y/n’s good. Like really good.”

“But doesn’t experience matter more-”

“Alright alright, calm down,” Changbin said, waving his hands while he grabbed the keys. He then swiftly tossed them to Minho, whose face lit up, then quickly fell after seeing Changbin shake his head.

“You know how we settle things around here, don’t you?”

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧ ♫- Automatic ‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧

The car rolled to a stop in between two streetlights, stopping at an intersection of an alleyway and a back road on the edges of the city. Minho leaned back in his seat, beginning to roll up the sleeves of his white button down shirt as you pulled up a stopwatch on your phone.

“And out of all the tracks we like to race,” he huffed, glancing at you, “why did you pick the track that I hold the fastest time for?”

“Simple,” you said quietly, propping your phone up on a vent clip.

“That way when I beat you, the look on your face will be priceless.”

His jaw dropped at your confidence, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t find it the slightest bit attractive.

“Everyone’s tried to beat my record, even Changbin-”

“Not me,” you quipped.

“So you’re just gonna claim that you can right off the bat?” He scoffed, pulling the strap tight on his gloves.

“There’s a first time for everything.”

“You’re-”

“Are you gonna drive or are we gonna sit here and bicker all night?” You cut him off, leaning towards him in your seat. “Because I can do both, but I’m sure the gang would love to know who won the race and not our argument-”

“Okay okay, sheesh,” he said, readjusting himself in the seat and taking the car out of park.

The rules were simple. One lap around downtown on the usual track, no shortcuts, no shenanigans, and no cheating of any kind, such as distracting the driver. It was late enough as is so there would be no pedestrians or traffic, not that this part of town was particularly busy at any time of day. The track took a little more than a minute if you were an experienced street racer, but for Minho, his time to beat was fifty-six seconds.

“Start the clock whenever you’re ready,” he mumbled, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gear shift. He was mad, you could tell. You found that hot, which you hoped he couldn’t tell.

“Three-”

He trained his eyes on the road.

“Two-”

He revved the engine twice. The little show off.

“One-”

He clicked the car into first gear, and you barely registered yourself pressing the start button and yelling “GO!” before the blaring sound of the engine roaring to life filled your eardrums. 

You were both pressed into the back of your seats as the car zoomed forward, turning the small dots of light in the streets into streaks while the black rocket whizzed by.

A sly grin grew on his face as he upshifted twice, and after a few seconds he was well over the speed limit, not that any police officers lingered around this side of the city.

He knew this road like the back of his hand. Every pothole, every crack, anything that would slow him down he knew just how to avoid it. Even when he approached sharp turns, he knew just when he had to start downshifting, and even that was seamless.

Calculated.

Precise.

Completely and utterly predictable.

Everything he is and everything you aren’t.

He rounded a corner perfectly and kept shifting gears until he was tearing down the now not-so-quiet street at 70 mph, tapping on the clutch as if he was trying to match the beat of a song. At this speed, he was going to beat his previous record out of spite.

Outside of the constant roar of the engine, things were dead silent inside the car. Minho was too busy concentrating on the road to speak, and you were analyzing his every move, not that there was much to analyze. He never made any mistakes.

Which is why when he zoomed by the starting streetlights with a record time of fifty-four seconds, you were anything but surprised.

“What’s my time?” He huffed, relaxing into the seat as his chest heaved.

“Fifty-four seconds.”

A pleased grin made its way onto his face before replacing itself with a smug smirk, Minho tilting his head as he turned the car off.

“I’m the best you’ve ever seen, admit it.”

“No thanks,” you replied, unlocking the door and stepping out of the car. “I’ve looked in a mirror before.”

Your heels clicked around the front of the car as Minho got out, shaking his head while he held the door open. Stopping in front of the open door, you nodded your head to tell him to get to the other side of the car so you two could get this over with, but he just looked down at the seat and back at you, waiting for you to step in. You reluctantly sat down and he closed the door behind you before walking across the front.

So he is a gentleman, you thought to yourself while pulling the Velcro on your gloves.

And a handsome one at that, was a thought that you quickly shooed away, not liking how your eyes admired the way the streetlights hit his face for a split second before he got back in the car.

You both buckled your seat belts and he cleared the timer on your phone, opening a fresh stopwatch log and waiting for you to look at him.

But you didn’t, you only tapped impatiently on the steering wheel with a manicured nail.

After a few seconds of tense silence you spoke up.

“What are you waiting for?” You gave him an annoyed side eye.

“Aren’t you going to tell me when to go?”

“Okay, go.”

“What-”

“Go!”

You switched the car out of park and straight into first gear, making him shriek and start the timer while you snickered. The car barreled down the street, picking up fallen leaves and rattling trash cans with the engine alone.

You reached over to your left side and pressed a button, lowering all of the windows in the car at once, and Minho looked at you in disbelief.

“Do you not care about the drag you’re gonna get from that?” He yelled over the roaring wind.

“Not one bit.” You grinned, fixing the rear view mirror with your right hand.

It was at this point that Minho realized that he had never been in a car while you were behind the wheel, and his hand instinctively held on to an interior handle while you upshifted again. His heartbeat started to pick up as he noticed that you didn’t downshift, in fact whereas he usually would be two gears lower by now, you upshifted again and he held the handle tighter.

“Y/n,” he began calmly, looking at the speedometer, “do you see that turn up ahead?”

“Uh huh,” you yelled, holding the steering wheel with both hands now.

“Are you not going to slow down?!” He suddenly yelled, frightened at the calmness in your voice.

“Why would I do that-”

“To keep us ALIVE?!” He screamed, grabbing onto the middle console. “Because that’s how you handle turns?!”

You quickly looked behind you before pushing yourself far back into the seat, pressing your heeled foot a little bit further onto the acceleration pedal.

“This is how you handle a turn.”

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as you spun the wheel to the left just before you hit the corner, and you and Minho were suddenly pressed into the right sides of your seats, the centrifugal forces taking over the black vehicle. The wind whistled through Minho’s window as the sound of tires skidding along the pavement filled the street, and just as he got a grasp as to what was happening, you spun the wheel the other way, realigning the car with the road ahead before you slammed on the acceleration.

And that’s when it hit him.

You were a drift racer.

And you didn’t slow down at all that entire turn.

You screamed in delight, almost as loud as the engine did as you tore up the street, the car swerving left and right as you drifted around nearly every corner, barely pausing to downshift or brake at all. You kept your mischievous eyes on the road, both hands on the wheel, and your foot on the acceleration the whole time.

Minho, in a panic, glanced at the stop watch after you shredded your way through a hairpin turn.

Thirty-eight seconds.

Oh my god, she’s going to beat me.

The final turn of the course approached quickly, thanks to your apparent resentment to using the brakes, and Minho started to grip the center console again, but instead of drifting around it like you usually did, you held onto the gear shift, pulling it towards you in succession just like he did when he drove. You shot him a wink before you rounded the corner, and his heart raced, but no longer out of fear.

The starting streetlight shot by you and you didn’t even bother to slow down, glancing at the stop watch to see that it read forty-seven seconds before taking the route that led to the highway.

“Where are we going?” He yelled, frantically putting his window back up, and you followed suit.

“Back to the club, silly,” you responded, before upshifting one last time.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧ ♫- Break From Toronto ‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧

You pulled the life out of the car with a twist of the keys, killing the engine before turning it over in your hands. The once shiny Toyota symbol was now faded to a dull gray, and many of the markings for the lock buttons were missing.

“Why...why didn’t you drift on the last turn?” Minho finally spoke up, looking at you while his chin rested in his palm. “You would have gotten a faster time-”

“I don’t care about records Minho,” you stated, undoing the Velcro on your gloves. “I already knew I was going to beat you, that was just to show off.”

You swiftly unbuckled your seatbelt and got out of the car, stepping into the parking lot which was mostly empty by now, and he slowly did the same. He was still mostly in shock, lacking comebacks and sass just because he couldn’t process that he had lost. 

Walking across the front of the car, Minho approached you with a hand outstretched, wanting to keep good sportsmanship despite his colossal defeat. You gladly accepted it, closing your hand around the keys you were twirling and offering it to firmly shake hands with him.

“They’ll have a good leader,” he said, nodding his head slightly.

“I don’t doubt that for a second,” you replied, before taking his hand and pressing it to his chest.

The keys to Changbin’s car fell into his hands as he looked between you and them, confused.

“But...you won,” he whispered, turning the key over in his hands.

“Damn right I did,” you chuckled, “but I don’t really want to be the leader, and besides, his car doesn’t have a Bluetooth radio, and I don’t feel like switching it out.”

He furrowed his eyebrows in shock, trying to come up with a response.

“So what do I tell them then?”

“Whatever you want Lee, I don’t care,” you said, stepping closer to him. His breath caught in his throat as you paused, looked him up and down, then straight into his eyes.

“You can tell them I lost, but we both know who the fastest racer in this city really is.”

And with that, you spun on your heels, walking towards your car as Minho stood there, dumbfounded.

“You’re going home?”

“Yeah,” you called back to him, “I’ve had enough excitement for one night.” Your heels clicked away at the pavement and Minho couldn’t help but watch, trying to make sense of the strange whirlwind of emotions in his stomach.

“Oh and uh...a word of advice,” you laughed, turning back to look at him, “you’d be a lot more enjoyable without that pole up your ass.”

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧ ♫- Early ‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧

“Sheesh,” Hyunjin swooned, trailing his fingers over the black exterior of the vehicle, assessing its every curve. “This car is sexy.”

Minho sat on a bench on the curb, trying to let the bass from inside the club soothe his mind as he held his head in between his hands. 

“Ugh and it even matches my hair- if I had this car, I’d never bleach my hair again,” he sighed dreamily, adjusting a rear view mirror so he could look at himself. “Imagine showing up to parties in this baby, and-”

Hyunjin paused, narrowing his eyes at his best friend on the bench, who had barely said a word since he walked into the club and declared himself as the new leader. 

“-and why do I get the feeling that I’m more excited about this car than you?” He said, trading his grin out for a concerned pout as he joined Minho on the bench.

“Because...I don’t deserve it,” Minho said slowly, staring at the license plate.

“Are you kidding?” Hyunjin scoffed, looking at the other in disbelief. “You’re the best racer that I know! Of course you deserve it, you wo-”

“She won.”

Hyunjin tilted his head, letting a small nervous chuckle escape his lips.

“What?”

“Seven seconds Hyunjin,” he began, standing up and rubbing his face with his hands. “That’s how much she beat me by.”

Hyunjin’s face went pale.

“That’s...that’s impossible,” the taller boy whispered to himself, and Minho laughed bitterly at that statement, reminding him of what he had thought earlier that night.

“Not for a drift racer, apparently!”

Minho turned around, facing the other who had shock written all over his face.

“Have you seen that woman drive?!” He practically yelled, and Hyunjin stopped to think.

“Come to think of it, no,” he realized, looking up at his friend. “She’s always helping Yeji learn the ropes when we go on our group drives, so they carpool-”

“Well you should watch her drive,” he continued, more hysterical laughter spilling from Minho’s lips, “she’s reckless, and she doesn’t slow down, and she drifts around every corner, and she drives with the goddamn windows down, and in the last hour she’s made me question everything I ever knew about street racing!” He paused to take a deep breath.

“I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“She’s that good?”

“God, she’s incredible,” he confessed, leaning against the side of the car. “And she could have lowered her time too; at the last corner of the race she downshifted almost perfectly, and didn’t drift because ‘that was just to show off.’”

Hyunjin started laughing, for it wasn’t often that he got to see Minho all riled up about something...or someone.

“Never,” Minho spat, “never in my eight years of driving have I ever met anyone with the audacity to-”

“Minho! Minho Minho Minho,” Hyunjin chuckled, getting up off the bench to stand in front of a wide-eyed Minho, placing his hands on his shoulders. 

“Hey,” he gave him a knowing smile, “it’s okay to have a crush-”

“Yah! Does everyone have to be drunk these days?” He yelled, pushing the younger one off of him as he opened the car door to get in. Hyunjin collapsed to the ground, lost in a fit of giggles among the asphalt.

“Call me when you want to talk about your feelings,” he swooned, erupting into laughter again before Minho slammed the door, shaking his head.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧ ♫- Get It, If You Let Me ‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧

The highway seemed awfully quiet as Minho zoomed along the shoulder, watching the street lights flicker through the car like a broken headlight as he let his mind wander. This night had taken more turns than the Le Mans race track, and he was way overdue for some sleep.

He sighed, looking through the windshield, and as he shifted his vision he noticed something amiss on one of the vents.

You had left your phone.

You must have forgotten to put it back in your bag, and Minho cursed at himself for forgetting to take it out and give it to you.

Then again, he was apparently desperately needing driving lessons, specifically the ones where you learn to drift.

Minho slowed down, coming to a stop at a red light as he pondered his decision. He knew where your house was, and knowing you, you’d still be awake, thanks to the countless times he had muted your endless chatting with Yeji in the group chat. 

He was definitely too arrogant earlier. Would you even be willing to accept an apology or give him a second chance?

The light in the left lane flickered to green, letting an absolute lack of drivers make left turns and U-turns back into town, and Minho’s grip on the steering wheel tightened once again.

To hell with this.

He slammed on the acceleration, crossing the three empty lanes between the shoulder and the left turn lane before making a U-Turn, and nothing had felt more right than when he grinned and shifted the car into second gear.

Only one thing left to do now I guess, he thought to himself.

Punch it.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧

“You should have seen the look on his face,” you practically squealed, kicking your legs up off the couch while trying not to spill your glass of wine. “The man was going to pee himself!”

“I know I nearly did the first time I rode with you,” Yeji chuckled, unscrewing the oil cap with a click. “H-Hey, I got it to come off!”

“Good!” You sat up on the couch, suddenly focused. “The oil is coming out black right?”

“Yeah...it’s kinda gross,” she drawled.

“Make sure you empty it all the way-”

Your train of thought was broken by the low rumble of a familiar engine on your street, slowly pulling into your driveway. You squinted your eyes in concentration, trying to identify who was at your house at this hour as Yeji confusedly called your name through the landline.

“Yeji? Are you going to be up for a while?” You said suddenly, holding the receiver up to your face again.

“Yeah...I have a couple more things to fix,” she said, and you heard the sound of a wrench clattering to the floor through the receiver. “Why?”

“I think Minho is at my house.”

“Ooooooooh-”

“Shut up, I’ll be right back,” you laughed, and then swiftly hung up, just in case this took longer than you expected.

You walked up to one of the windows near the driveway, lifting up one of the blinds to see if your suspicions were correct, and they were; Minho got out of his new car, shoving the keys into his pockets before closing the door behind him.

One glance into a mirror and you realized the absurdity of this situation.

You had quickly ridden yourself of the glittery makeup and cute outfit in favor of pajamas as soon as you got home, and here he was walking up to your door, still looking as sharp as he did earlier that night.

Good thing you didn’t care what he thought of you.

Mostly.

A hand through the hair would have to suffice for now.

He stepped up to your door, contemplating whether a knock or doorbell ring would be better, but you quickly erased both options, opening the door as soon as he stood on the welcome mat.

“I knew you’d be back but…” you looked him over and smiled, “...not this soon.”

He only responded with a light chuckle before pulling your phone out of his dark wash jeans.

“I wasn’t planning on being here like this but this was left in my car,” he said, holding it up to his face. “Figured you’d want it.”

You hummed, nodding in thanks and quirking an eyebrow.

“But…?”

“But what?” He laughed nervously.

“But no man in their right mind would drive to some chick’s house just to give her something that could have waited until the next morning,” you tilted your head in amusement and swirled the wine in your glass. “Unless you’ve come to apologize.”

“For?”

“Um, underestimating me?”

“Oh yeah, that,” more nervous laughter fell from his lips. “Sorry about that.”

“And the arrogance.”

“And the arrogance,” he mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Cool. So now that that’s out of the way,” you whispered, putting your glass on a table inside near the door, closing the door behind you and leaning against it, “why are you really here?”

His eyes widened, clearly not prepared for you to have read him so easily.

“I…” his hands fumbled with the edges of his rolled up sleeves as he tried to get his thoughts together. After a few seconds of silence he dropped the act, relinquishing his cool demeanor.

“Back there, when you were driving,” a slow look of astonishment spread across his face, “how did you do that?”

“Do what? Drift?”

“Yeah.”

“You want to be a drift racer?”

“Not necessarily,” he explained, “it's just...we should have flipped over- I don’t get how you did that.”

“All I did was let the weight of the vehicle drive the car instead of me,” you said, nodding towards the hunk of metal on your driveway. “If you’re driving fast enough, turning sharply will make the car drift; the back wheels will try to swing to the front and centrifugal force and whatnot.”

Minho visibly winced.

“To put it simply, it’s about controlling a lack of control.”

“How is that safe?” 

“It’s not,” you laughed, then turned serious. “Not that anything we do is safe.” He just blinked at you, trying to process what he was supposed to do with this information.

“Minho, on average, how much do you lower your record every time you attempt to beat it?”

“Uh,” he squinted his eyes. “I don’t know, like a half second maybe? Why?”

“You do the same thing every time don’t you?”

“Why does that sound like a bad thing coming from you?” He chuckled nervously, shifting on his feet.

“Well then it’s no wonder how I beat your record so easily,” you cackled, “you’ve basically optimized your route; to you, nobody can beat it, because nobody is going to try anything different.”

“Where are you going with this?” He tilted his head, assuming a defensive stance.

“You can’t get better unless you try something new.” You deadpanned, looking him straight in the eyes. “In other words, you can't beat me until you quit being so scared.”

“I’m not scared!” He retorted.

“You basically tried to become Mariah Carey when I drove!”

He opened his mouth to snap back, then for his own safety, decided not to.

“Look, I get it,” you said quietly, “losing control in a car while you spin in a metal box isn’t everyone’s idea of fun-”

“Not when you put it like that-”

“But,” you chuckled, and the sparkle in his eyes returned, “because I know how this is going to keep you up tonight-”

“I’ll sleep just fine, thank you,” he laughed, folding his arms.

“I’ll give you one tip, for free.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“Loosen up,” you said, giving him a light shove, and he stumbled backwards slightly. “Otherwise you’ll be stuck at fifty-four seconds.”

He just watched you turn to leave before you added, “I’ll be at the giant abandoned parking lot past downtown tomorrow night with Yeji, in case you want a lesson or something.” And with that you stepped behind your door, flashing him a smile before closing the door.

Minho stood there, blinking hard and trying to regulate the erratic beating of his heart before you opened the door again, giving him a strange look.

You pointed at him and raised an eyebrow, and he looked down to where your finger was pointed.

“Oh, right,” he chuckled, handing you your phone and you laughed, taking the device from him.

“Goodnight Minho,” you whispered before closing the door again, not giving him time to respond.

Your ability to make him speechless was getting out of hand.

Something tells me I’m supposed to get used to this…

“...goodnight.”

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧

Punch It

a lixiesfreckles_ production

cast(in order of appearance)

Seo Changbin as the only one with a life

Hwang Hyunjin as the drama

Lee Minho as the obvious choice

Hwang Yeji as the best friend

in memory of my old self. you had no idea what you'd be capable of one day.

do not copy or repost. all rights reserved.

#Spotify #stray kids #lee minho fic #skz #lee minho ff #lixiesfreckles_ #lee minho #lee minho x reader #minho #lee know #lee know fanfic

[russianperioddrama]

Welcome to the Russian Period Dramas Bracket everyone! The order of things will look something like this:

Polls will start posting tomorrow. One group (A, B, C, D) will be posted per day, starting with Group A. Polls will run for a week. Once all polls for a round close, polls for the following round will begin posting within 24-48 hours (depending on mod availability). You may send in asks with “propaganda” if you wish.

Round 1 matches are listed out below for a full text version. Note that titles are listed in the format: English tittle (official/”official”* or translated) | transliterated title. (*There are occasionally some variations in what is the “official” English title. I tried my best here, usually prioritizing what is used by a major streaming service or wiki).

GROUP A

Ekaterina: The Rise of Catherin the Great | Ekaterina (2014) vs. Pushkin: the Last Duel | Pushkin: Poslednyaya duel (2006)

The Barber of Siberia | Sibirskiy tsiryulnik (1998) vs. Tchaikovsky's wife | Zhena Chaikovskogo (2022)

The Duelist | Duelyant (2016) vs. Life of a Mistress | Volnaya gramota (2018)

Catherine the Great | Velikaya (2015) vs. Poor Nastya | Bednaya Nastya (2023)

Detective Anna | Anna – detectiv (2016) vs. Gardes-marines Ahead! | Gardemariny, vperyod! (1988)

Bloody Lady | Krovavaya Barinya (2018) vs. Institute For Noble Maidens | Institut blagorodnykh devits (2010)

Union of Salvation | Soyuz spaseniya (2019) vs. Star of Captivating Happiness | Zvezda plenitelnogo schastya (1975)

Russian Ark | Russkiy kovcheg (2002) vs. Poor Poor Paul | Bednyy bednyy Pavel (2003)

GROUP B

The Silver Skates | Serebryanyy konki (2020) vs. Sins of Our Fathers | Grekhi ottsov (2004)

Bezsonov (2019) vs. Voskresensky (2021)

Sunstroke  | Solnechnyy Udar (2014) vs. The Fall of the Empire | Gibel imperii (2005)

Matilda (2017) vs. Gloomy River | Ugryum-reka(2021)

The Road To Calvary  | Hozhdenie po mukam (2017) vs. How the Steel Was Tempered | Kak zakalyalas stal (1973)

Admiral (2008) vs. Quiet Flows the Don | Tikhiy Don (2015)

Morphine | Morphiy (2008) vs. Battalion | Batalyon (2015)

Rasputin | Grigoriy R (2014) vs. Christmas Trees 1914 | Yolki 1914 (2014)

GROUP  C

War and Peace | Voyna I mir (1966) vs. The Queen of Spades | Pikovaya dama (1982)

Pechorin (2011) vs. A Hero of Our Time | Geroy nashego vremeni  (2006)

Eugene Onegin | Yevgeny Onegin (1959) vs. A Cruel Romance | Zhestokiy romans (1984)

Gogol (2017) vs. The Idiot | Idiot (2003)

Anna Karenina: Vronsky’s Story | Anna Karenina. Istoriya Vronskogo (2017) vs. Anna Karenina (2009)

Crime and Punishment | Prestuplenie i nakazanie (2007) vs. Brothers Karamazov | Bratya Karamazovy (2009)

Fathers and Sons | Ottsy i deti (2008) vs. Lady Into Lassie | Baryshnya krestyanka (1995)

Two Women | Dve zhenshchiny (2014) vs. The Emperor’s Love | Lyubov imperatora (2003)

GROUP D

Sophia (2016) vs. The Youth of Peter the Great | Yunost Petra (1980)

Furious | Legenda o Kolovrate (2017) vs. Alexander: The Neva Battle | Aleksandr. Nevskaya bitva (2008)

Viking (2016) vs. Iron Lord | Yaroslav: Tysyachu let nazad (2010)

The Terrible | Groznyy (2020) vs. Tsar (2009)

Godunov (2018) vs. Schism | Raskol (2011)

Land of Legends | Serdtse Parmy (2022) vs. Golden Horde | Zolotaya Orda (2018)

Conquest | Tobol (2019) vs. Secrets of the Palace Revolutions | Tayny dvortsovykh perevorotov (2000)

Elizabeth | Elizaveta (2022) vs. Cathedral | Sobor (2021)

#russian period dramas #russian period dramas bracket #tumblr bracket #tumblr polls #period dramas #perioddramaedit #russian tv #russian movies #russian media

[still-a-morosexual-help]

So I got a comment on my latest fic about how usually those types of fics are about feral Beel and they liked seeing feral Mammon for a change given how rarely Mammon is the one who loses control in canon as well

And I ended up explaining my thought process behind the choice to use Mammon (yes yes surprise it was a choice! And yes there is a thought process behind my fics!) And realised the answer to that comment sounded like a tumblr post...so here we are! ;

I actually shut my Mammon-Brain off for once and considered if I should make this ambiguous? Take out MC calling Mammon's name and instead just say MC called the demon in the fic by his name. Change some of the identifying emotions, reactions and such around - leave it up to the reader to decide who the demon in the fic was. And that kind of small mystery was very appealing but in the end I decided against it because;

• MC really does have a bias when it comes to Mammon and whether or not he's dangerous to their continued well-being (in that even when he believes he's dangerous MC laughs it off or is actually into it)

a.) When Mammon tried to get them to run away from him during the first Paws Event because he was scared he'd attack them and they said 'lol no'

b.) During Mammon's Vampire Devilgram where they basically begged him to drink their blood, even after he said he wouldn't be able to stop himself once he started and that he may end up killing them, and how absolutely turned on they were

c.) During the 2021 Masked Halloween event where they were very much turned on by Mammon (and the rest of the brothers) trying to kill them

d.) In S1, before they were friends when Mammon talks about eating humans or threatens MC, they dismiss the whole thing either by telling him they don't care, talking back to him or just straight up not listening. They were also regularly sharing a bedroom in S1 after like 1-2 weeks of knowing each other, before they became proper friends. And despite how they acted towards Mammon in S1, they were a lot more reserved and careful around the other Sins in S1, which Beel points out to Mammon - saying that MC seems to like him and seek him out.

• MC & Mammon are canonically very ride or die - with Mammon calling MC his "partner in crime" and saying if they were ever to become evil he'd follow them because his place is by their side. And with how much MC follows along with his schemes, to the point that there's one devilgram where MC, despite being present, doesn't say a word as they follow Mammon while he does something very stupid

• Mammon rarely loses his shit. But we have twice seen him get so pissed off he transformed - both times in Devilgrams - once when he thinks MC & Levi had sex & once when he hears his younger brothers insulting Lucifer via insulting Mammon. He also gets genuinely pissed off when he thinks Michael is the one behind whatever was hurting Simeon in S4. So he does get angry (rare as it is) but it's almost always for the sake of one of the others rather than for himself. While (as much as I love the others) they tend to get pissed off by some of the stupidest and most inconsequential shit. So I figured if Mammon got angry in this scenario it'd put emphasis on how dire the circumstances were and how it justified risking the tentative peace treaty held between the three realms - or at least that's what's supposed to be implied

• I'm a monsterfucker & a Mammon × MC shipper.... In the end, I couldn't not y'know?

Also here's the fic that spawned this post

Unname GN! MC × Mammon

Under the Gentle Rains

For the first time, his human sees what he truly is.

A creature of the night, of bared fangs dripping with the blood of the slain, of endless death and cosmic evil.

A creature finally brought to the light to face their judgment.

A creature that wishes to wail and weep at the realistic thought of finally losing them.

Tags: Blood & Gore ; Violence ; Cannibalism ; Established Relationship ; Fluff

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me! #shall we date? obey me! #swd obey me #obey me mammon #om! mammon #swd mammon #shall we date mammon #om mammon #obey me! mammon #swd obey me! #shall we date obey me #mammon x gn!mc #mammon x gender neutral reader #mammon x gn!reader #mammon x mc #mammon x oc #mammon x you #mammon x reader #mammon x y/n #y/n x mammon #oc x mammon #mc x mammon #you x mammon #reader x mammon #obey me mc #obey me! mc #om mc #om! mc

[intothemultifandom]

– 𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐀 || 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐫

SUMMARY: If you were only ever created to serve Arishem, it did not feel like it. Not when you’d grown to cherish your people in the South Pacific and the entirety of Earth as reverently as you did and not when your heart, artificial or not, belonged to a man from beneath the sea. PAIRINGS: Namor x Eternal!Reader TAGS/WARNINGS: fluff ; light angst ; spoilers for Eternals (2021)

If you were only ever created to serve Arishem, it did not feel like it.

Not when you’d grown to cherish your people in the South Pacific and the entirety of Earth as reverently as you did and not when your heart, artificial or not, belonged to a man from beneath the sea.

In the aftermath of Ajak’s death, of Sersei’s frantic call that detailed what was happening–it didn’t take you too long to gather your belongings, to retrieve all the documents you needed just in case before you rushed behind your house, down the pathway and towards the secluded formation that was hidden deep behind your home.

In the cove you’d created decades ago, he waits for you as he always does. Somehow always finding his way back to your little hideout, again and again, as devoted as the waves that lapped at your shore.

Skin beaded with water, dark eyes pinned on you, always on you–the man you find does not match the names he’d been given over the past five hundred years, a fraction to your own existence. 

K'uk'ulkan. Niño sin amor. Namor. 

Legends only ever depicted him as one of two things: The merciless feathered serpent god worshipped by a long existing culture or the child without love, he who would light the world aflame if only he was not shackled to the ocean. 

Here in this refuge you’d created, however, you’d learned that he was more than just that. Had spent nearly four hundred years unearthing every cavern of his mind, body and soul.

Without saying it, you know his worry has guided him through the currents today. 

“I came to make sure you were unhurt after the Earthquake,” he says lowly, lacking the teasing lilt he often greeted you with. “But it seems you might know more than me already...”.

The armour you wear is dappered in metallic [favourite colour] with [complimentary colour] accents, something he has not seen before in all of your years together.

Wearing it not even a week after the world felt Tiamut’s movement is all the evidence he needs, a damning fact that the tremors felt all over the world are more than what they are. 

Slowly, Namor rises from the water and as he does, sea-foam bubbles around him, the worry you weren’t even aware had begun to fester dispersing just the same. 

“I take it this is not for pleasure?” he continues, his nonchalance contradicted by the twitch of winged ankles. 

“I’m afraid not,” you reply in lieu of your normal greeting.

His eyes linger on the glow of your hands, of the way your shoulders and arms are taught in a way he is unfamiliar with and you’re warmly reminded that he is not the only one who has been made bare before in this cove. 

As detailed as you can, you explain to him what you had learned in the past few hours: Arishem had created your family to evolve the human species, not for their own betterment; but so their progression could provide enough energy for a Celestial to emerge from the Earth’s core once the Deviants were eliminated.

The world is ending, you reveal, almost choking on the cold, ugly truth. 

When Sersei had explained it the first time, between rasped breaths and soft cries, you didn’t allow yourself time to lament what it all meant.

But now, seeing what you’ve come to consider the architect of your very being in front you, the truth unravels in a way that you cannot deny what it is.

An anchor that will drown you, or has drowned you already, considering all you’ve lost before. The people, memories, the love. 

"We’ve never fought a Celestial before,” you admit, thinking of Thena, anguished and desperate, the echo of infinity seared into her gaze, before you think of your people and of him. “But we want this planet to be our last. I want it to be my last.” 

It is not the words, but they might as well be.  

In an instant, Namor grips your wrist, pulling you back into him as you huff with surprise. 

His arms band around your waist, keeping you caged where he can nose along the column of your neck, hear the hitch in your breath at his closeness.

“If this is then true, tell me why I shouldn’t persuade you to stay with me?” he growls lowly at the base of your throat, easily shifting between calm and not, as fluid as the sea. “I could compel you to stay here where it’s safe, where you can stay here with me,”.

You can’t help but groan under the ministrations of his teeth on your skin when he begins to nibble, hands moving towards his face as you summon every ounce of sensibility in you to turn his head away. A hard feat, given the way your blood sings as slivers of his siren melody bleed into his words. 

“Because though you would rather see the world burn, you would protect your people by any means necessary,” you gasp, feeling your fondness for him swell when he stills, caught.

For Talocan, Namor would protect his Kingdom by any means and at any cost. Even if he despised the rest of the world and would gladly burn the surface asunder, he would not condemn his people to burn, too. 

You and your family, as splintered as they’ve come to be, are the greatest gamble he can take to save them and everyone else. Even if it means he can’t join you.

Silent in his defeat, Namor–sweet, enchanting Namor– tilts your head to his languidly, leaning forward and bringing you in a kiss that makes you both want to leave and surrender yourself to him all at once.

Humming, he slots your mouths together even more as he shifts you in his arms, and you have to swallow the moan the bubbles in your throat once he pulls away, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips. 

“The ocean has given me many miracles, mi puksik’al. But it has also given me many tragedies...” he says hoarsely, after a moment.

Leaning his forehead against your own to stare you deep in the eyes, it’s a wonder he’s only ever been called cruel and monstrous things when he all he is is bewitching. Wondrous even as he pleads: “I cannot afford one more, [Your Name].” 

As he breathes, you press your nose against his and do the same. Feeling your heart break and mend all at once as you take life from his breath. 

When you first landed on Earth, you found that there was no greater resource on the planet than its ocean. Deep, vast and endless. A force that could give as easily as it took away. 

You’d revered it and its various forms the same way you did the man before you. Perhaps less than him now, you admit in this moment, when he leans back and brushes his lips against the crown of your head. 

“Come back to me,” comes the murmur. “Meent’ uts”.

Closing your eyes, all you can do is nod as you take in the scent of salt and tears, rasping, “E lele le toloa ae ma’au i le auvai” as you surge upward to breathe him in once more. 

NOTES:

Since all the Eternals all belong to different ethnic groups, Reader is Polynesian. I imagine her living somewhere on the island of Niue, as it is a coral atoll and has natural coves and chasms already though you can imagine otherwise.  

The way Reader “takes life from his breath” when pressing their forehead against Namor’s references the Maori people and the action of the hongi, which recalls the Māori legend of the creation of the first earthly woman, Hineahuone. She was formed from clay by the creator god Tāne, who then breathed life into her nostrils.

“E lele le toloa ae ma’au i le auvai” is a Samoan proverb meaning that life may take someone far from home but they will always return. Case and point: Reader and Namor. 

E lele le toloa ae ma’au i le auvai = The toloa bird flies far, but will always return to the water.

I am not an expert in the Mayan/Yucate language, which I believe is the main language Namor speaks, but I’ve taken the following translations from various online sources and apologise sincerely if its not quite right. Please correct me where I’m wrong and I’ll note it down for future reference. I’d also appreciate any reputable linguistic sources for all my fanfics moving forward, but anyway:

mi puksik’al = my heart

Meent’ uts = please

#black panther wakanda forever #wakanda forever #black panther: wakanda forever #black panther imagine #namor #talocan #namor x reader #polynesian!reader #eternal!reader #mcu eternals #mcu black widow #mcu imagine #poc!reader #talokan #namor imagine #k'uk'ulkan #mayan #intothemultifandom

[fillinforlater]

Monday of Appreciation: Part 65

Hello everyone, Smite here!

It's Monday and so I am back, bringing you MoA consistently since 2021. Should I put a trade mark on that now? Lmao. If I had more time I would make it a whole review paper. Okay that is a tiny bit over the top and optimistic, but nonetheless, the appreciation will be given. You mustn't resist :)

Update: After the craziness I posted last week, I'll go softer (or not?). My current projects are either long or haven't started, so you'll have to stay patient, thank you all!

-1-

@iznsfw: Sweet Talking ft. Sakura

Y E S, Kura smut! This dialogue only smut not only got me horny for more of IZ's Christmas posts, but also ready to finally write Sakura again... hopefully I'll make it till Christmas. Thank you for this very good piece, IZ, you never let us down!

-2-

@sinswithpleasure: [We'll Keep This] Our Dirty Little Secret ft. Chaewon

Sins writing Chaewon, omg! School uniform, stress relief, a little danger, just how I like it. Makes me want to do it in Uni tbh, although I'm a) missing the courage and b) missing the Chaewon. Maybe I'll get one soon kekw. Nice one, Sins!

-3-

@co-reborn: Reign ft. Saerom (Co-writer: @worldsover)

Oh fuck, anal galore. C.O and Levi and it's pure indulgence in and on the ass if Saerom. This is a guarantee to make you horny and an urgent call to read back the other parts. I really hope for more, you two are amazing!

-4-

@kaedespicelatte: white. ft. Chaehyun

Kaede is back, and from this one pic, we all know why. I dunno if my eyes could have been more spread open at seeing Chaehyun in that titty outfit. Click on the link to find out what I mean---reading the fic after that is a given ofc.

-5-

@ggidolsmuts: Hype Boy Hype Girl ft. Choi Yujin

Cuz I-I-I know what you like ddeun boy /

you're my-y-y chemical hype writer boy /

Y'all, listen to Hype Boy and read this fic. The clever usage of the lyrics makes it a blast to read, apart from the usual Ddeun smut greatness.

-6-

@existslikepristin: Summon ft. Lola (PIXY)

I'm angry: this has less than 40 Notes...

I know that the idol is not well know or the theme might be very unique and dark, but cmon, give it a try. It's very well written, genuinely scary and has an idol I've never seen written before. Good job, ELP!

-7-

@iznsfw: Mon Chef D'oeuvre ft. Hyewon

IZ could be on here so many fucking times, but I haven't been able to read all the new fics. I will get to them, I'm excited, but today it's ""just"" two. This one is my favorite, I swear, it's close to the perfect Hyewon fic. It combines elements I've seen in Levi's fics, with creative art smut, story telling and absolute drama. All with the touch of IZ, who is also an excellent angst writer.

I can really, really understand the #IZGOAT agenda. Fucking legendary! All Hyewon fans, READ THIS

Have nice December week, stay warm and hydrated!

#mondayofappreciation #idol smut #female idol smut #kpop smut #girl group smut #izone smut #hyewon smut #chaewon smut #sakura smut #le sserafim smut #lola smut #pixy smut #choi yujin smut #kepler smut #kep1er smut #chaehyun smut #saerom smut #fromis9 smut #fromis 9 smut #fromis smut

[open-hearth-rpg]

#RPGCovers Week Eleven Voidheart Symphony (2021) Adrian Stone

I’ve mentioned Adrian Stone’s work before back in Week Two (Spire/Strata/Sin). As I talked about there, one of the things I love is how he uses color and hue to create depth. This does that again with the combination of purple & red in blocks and glowing elements that evoke a sense of stacks and distance. 

One of the other interesting things here is a shift from Stone’s other work. The earlier covers often use strongly tilted angles to create an effect– instead here the safety tape-like logo, subtitle, and author banners do that work. This image is much more rigidly up and down, echoing the look of a tarot card. Our figure in the center feels like a combination of The Tower and The World, with decorative elements like the crown referencing other cards. 

Following up from that crown we get the top of the tower– our apparent source of illumination but one which still shrouds things in darkness. The building layers behind our floating figure angle upwards like mountains, the lines again reinforcing the emphasis on what’s clearly the foe. 

It’s strong enough that you might not even notice the protagonists. The art here makes them look shaken and uncertain. They look upwards, clearly in a subordinate position before our crucifixion-echoing enemy. It’s a little detail but the way the PC stand-ins are posed, staring up, means that we’re unsure if they’ve seen the other enemies, closer to them, emerging from the haze.

#ttrpg #rpg #rpg covers #great rpg covers #voidheart symphony #age of ravens

[eric-the-bmo]

Blood and Silicon ep16 recap: Past Sins

[Summary: Leo informs the coterie of Percy's stay in the Territory, leading to an impromptu visit despite Blake's current sensory issues. We learn about the Week of Nightmares, a tour ensues, and a face Pauline recognizes introduces himself...] @sanguineasylum @kentuckycaverats @zwoelffarben

Dec 14, 2021.

Blake wakes up and everything is too loud and too much. He texts Leo asking him if he's free, piquing the Malkavian's curiosity by saying he wants to investigate Kyra's base (since she's dead, they can poke around), and they plan to meet up to drive there.

Leo had woken up and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before leaving his apartment, finally replying to the text Cynthia had sent him earlier- he states he had figured it would best to use an alias when introducing himself to Yen, hence why he said his name was Michael.

Leo meets Blake at their normal spot- he notices Blake winces when the car door closes, and the music is turned down unusually low. The Malk asks if he's okay, and Blake says he's got a hangover- Leo, from experience, knows that's bullshit.

---

(Meanwhile, Percy wakes up in the bathtub of a motel room- he had chosen to sleep there, as there's no windows and no risk of getting burnt by the sun. He gets up, and lets out a world-weary sigh as he thinks about how far he's fallen.)

---

Blake and Leo head to Kyra's old place- an abandoned church- and go down into the side alley to break into the place through the windows. They enter, and Blake spots a tripwire- he notifies Leo about it, which is great because this man can't see shit without his phone flashlight. The tripwire is connected to a rope that leads upstairs to the tower of the church, almost like it wasn't tied to a trap but acted more of an alarm.

After disarming it, Blake and Leo begin to explore. The place is abandoned, of course, full of dust, and some of the stained-glass windows are boarded up. There are apple cores a few days old scattered about. A bible is on the lectern.

Blake slowly begins to head upstairs, while Leo approaches the lectern; he uses Sense the Unseen, first, to try and determine if it's safe to touch and open. It seems fine, so he opens it up to the bookmark— Matthew 12 1-37.

And then Leo's phone suddenly rings— Blake winces and glares at him as the Malkavian scrambles to answer it, with his ringtone set to the intro of a popular dnd podcast.

["Hello?" "Mr. Leo," says Percival. "I hope I'm not catching you at a bad time."]

Percy says he can call back later (he wishes to have a tour of the territory), and Leo says they can meet in an hour. He writes it down in his notebook as a reminder Blake wants to know what the fuck was that, you said you weren't busy, and Leo is all "...Okay so we might have someone staying at our territory." He explains Harrison had called him about the man they had met earlier-

["That guy? He's staying at our t-" Blake pauses, and puts a hand over his mouth.] He asks if Leo told Pauline about this- he didn't- and Blake looks pissed. He tells Leo to call Harrison and find out where Harrison is staying. It takes a moment for Harrison to answer- probably because this man keeps his phone in his desk drawer- and the Baron says to simply call Percy, and in the future only call this line for emergencies. Leo eventually finds out Percy is staying at a place called Dayspring Motel, some ways south of town. Blake begins to walk out of the church- Leo follows him, picking up on the fact Blake is going to head over right now, and he tries to convince him to chill out and wait the hour like he had promised Percival; Blake almost considers it before saying he's not mad, just disappointed, and continues to walk out the building- he's hurt by fact Leo didn't tell him. (Before Blake leaves through the window, he sets something discreet/hidden by the window; if he comes back later and sees it's disturbed, it's a sign someone else came in here.)

Blake texts Pauline: [Blake: Kid just informed me that we have a new guest on our lot. Going to give him a warm welcome. Could you make time tonight from your busy schedule? Pauline: Good evening, Mr. Moore. That sounds concerning. Yes - would you be able to give me a ride? Blake: Be there in 15. Pauline: Understood.]

It's a tense ride. Pauline enters, asking if they could tell her what happened. Blake looks at Leo to answer, and the fledgeling goes "Once again, I fucked up." He explains the gist, and Pauline frowns.

["Perhaps Harrison should've neglected to inform us himself."]

Blake lets Pauline know the kindred now staying on their territory is the one Leo had distracted the earlier night- and was the one Harrison had a meeting with earlier, and Pauline guesses Harrison wishes to keep a better eye on them. Leo admits he knows as much as they do about Percival, however he did overhear the Venture seems to be searching for something of his own volition. Blake comments that hopefully he won't stay long- this whole thing confirms his belief that no matter what Harrison says, their territory was never really theirs.

Leo calls Percy like "hey uh there's been a change of plans is it okay if we meet earlier?", and once that's over he puts his head in his hands (It's really similar to the shinji pose meme ngl). This man would rather be in torpor.

Pauline questions wtf they're even doing- first it was a Tremere, now this, and we don't even know this man's clan.

---

The trio finally arrives, and Percy is waiting outside. He's wearing a light blue buttoned shirt and a newscap. There's a simple silver ring on his right hand, and he has a gun hidden inside his grey suede coat.

There's a bit of a miscommunication error, as Percy was expecting to be given a tour first, but upon hearing they just want to get to know him first before taking him there he's like "yeah that's fair," and leads them to his motel room (room 212) so they can speak. Percy closes the door behind him and apologizes for the state of his affairs- it's temporary living. He gestures for them to sit- Blake doesn't- and asks what they'd like to talk about. Blake answers they'd like to know more about him. Percy says he's an open book.

He tells the trio his clan upon Pauline's questioning, and he looks vaguely disgusted as he says he's a Ventrue. Blake comments it explains why he's got a suit and asks why he's here.

["First," Percy begins, "May I turn a question towards you? It adds context, I assure you." "It's an open forum. Go ahead."

"July 1999- What do you recall of it?"]

Blake's eyes go dark, and he quietly says he knows more than he'd like to. Percy fiddles with his ring as he explains that in July of 1999, during the Week of Nightmares, he was closer to the Ravnos Antediluvian than he would've liked, and was knocked into torpor. Due to this he's curious about it all now that he's awake again, and wishes to look into Noddism- and he confirms his meeting with Harrison was partially about that, though it was mainly an introductory one.

Leo has some questions, but then Blake comments that it sounds like Percy won't be staying very long, since it seems he needs to collect some more knowledge- Percy says it really all depends on how much information his leads have to give him, and so there's no way to say how long he'll stay. Blake then asks why Harrison chose to put Percy on their territory, specifically.

["Mr. Leo's sire- he believes that he can help me out with my own research."

Blake nods. Ah- there it is. He turns to Leo. "How does that make you feel?"

Leo's gone entirely quiet. His hands have found each other to hold.]

Percy asks if he's alright- the Malkavian's hands unclasp, and he says he wasn't expecting his sire to be mentioned. Percy asks if Blake is done with his questions, and the thing is Percy's been very formal this whole time, so Blake asks him to drop the Mr when referring to him. Percy nods. Anyway Blake's all "so if you have any questions or want to do anything with the territory, please refer to us-" and gestures towards himself and Pauline. Blake is trying to come up with plans on how to extort Percival for money, and suggests the man pay rent- Percy says he can offer protection services, but sure he can pay too. There's discussion of a job hunt for Percy, and Blake hands the Venture his and Pauline's numbers.

Percy says he was promised a tour of the territory- Pauline reminds them all that Leo's got questions- and Blake says he can give Percy a ride. ["It's a quaint little spot," He tells him. "It's got a nice sports bar- They can make a mean margarita." "...Are you still capable of partaking?"]

The group eventually leaves the hotel and begins to head towards the territory; Leo starts his questions by asking what a Ravnos is, presuming it must be one of the clans.

Percy runs down the gist of Ravnos- they're wanderers, really- and Blake chimes in that they're good storytellers but bad company. Percy agrees and says the Ravnos he knew said the same thing. Leo scribbles down what he learns, and Blake adds that Ravnos could make people see illusions- which doesn't seem scary in theory, he mutters, but it's terrifying when cranked up to 11. Leo pauses, and takes note of the illusions.

Leo lets Percy know he's aware of what an Antediluvian is, and the Venture explains the Week of Nightmares; how the Ravnos Antediluvian woke up and decided to cannibalize its childer. He explains there were many things during that week: headaches, visions no one seemed to remember, etc.

Blake says that's not what he heard, and as Percy asks Blake what stories he's heard about the Week (mortals who had the sun in their hands, a disease running through the Ravnos, how something woke up, etc), Leo's eyes glaze over as he mentally goes somewhere else for a moment. Blake implies he's skeptical of the Antediluvians' existence, how something of such great power could just rise up and die like that- and Percy doesn't seem to be a big fan of this :-/ Leo blinks back to hear the tail-end of this.

Pauline asks Percy he views Harrison- it turns out Percival feels the Baron is further from humanity than those in this group, and though he respects the Baron he doesn't feel any particular positive emotion about him. Pauline and Blake secretly approves of this- Leo, however, is blood bound to Harrison, so he frowns at this comment.

Leo then brings up in the form of a question that Percy mentioned his sire? The Ventrue confirms this- he's a scholar that could help him learn more about Noddism, though Percy's heard he might not be among the living anymore. ["Well, to say he's not amongst the living will always be accurate, but- He's not amongst us anymore. Do you happen to know if he's still alive?"] Leo doesn't know what Noddism means- he assumes it's a vampiric thing, like everything else he's learned about- and he also winces. Percy takes note of that reaction, though he's unable to pin down why Leo did that.

Blake makes a joke(?) from the driver's seat about Percy applying for jobs to pay rent as they arrive at the Territory.

---

The trio gives Percy a tour of the territory; Pauline and Blake give a general warning to him about the church and its priest. Speaking of the church- as we get closer to it, we see a crowd of people exiting the building; service has just ended. Someone seems to recognize Pauline and starts to walk towards the coterie- and as always, Pauline's expression is indiscernible (But she knows who this is). As the man crosses the sidewalk towards the coterie, we all use Blush of Life to look human- and as all of my dice rolls thus far tonight, Leo fails and gains a point of hunger.

The figure gets closer- he's a priest.

Leo is suddenly filled with a sense of panic as his headache spikes; everything in him is screaming with the knowledge that the man walking towards them is a threat. It overrides his brain and he shouts, running away. It gets the attention of some of the crowd members. Pauline takes this as her cue to leave, and follows him.

[The priest furrows his brow in concern as Leo runs off. "Hello," he begins, "I was here to speak to one in your group, but... Is the boy alright?" "...He ain't the religious type."]

The priest says that's interesting, since he had seen the woman who went after him during his service a few nights ago, and hoping to introduce himself. Blake offers to pass on his intro, and so the priest holds out his hands and introduces himself as Father William. Blake introduces himself as Robin- Percy looks away from the Father, yet still introduces himself.

Father William hopes they can get Pauline to return to one of his services again- Blake comments she's busy a lot, and upon William's next question he tells the priest she works at a night club. The Father makes a comment about how even light can be found in darkness- she had some interest in God, seeing as how she showed up for a service. He then asks if the others will eventually attend; they politely decline.

----

Meanwhile, Leo turns the corner, running just a bit further. He's connecting the dots, and comes to the general conclusion that religion is Very Bad for vampires- especially priests.

Pauline finally catches up to Leo, saying that he can't just run off like that, and advises that they head back to the group. He explains that he felt the priest was dangerous- she agrees, but again you can't just run off! She asks if the priest had done anything to him, and he says it wasn't an external thing that had caused him to flee; it was more of a brain thing.

["...Leo, are you quite alright?" He pauses, and gives a small laugh, putting his head in his hands. "Oh, when have I ever?"]

---

Blake texts Pauline if she found Leo, and they agree to head elsewhere- on that doesn't have a lot of people- and meet up there, so that Leo isn't stressed out by a potential crowd. Percy asks if Leo was okay, and Blake says he's not sure, but this isn't the first time he did something like this, so it might be something he can't control. Percy nods. Blake comments they should continue the tour after they meet back up- he does a little dramatic bow as he goes "After you :-)" He continues to give a bit of the tour, pointing out the bar, the art museum, etc. (At one point Blake goes into a store and comes out with a job application, handing it to Percy for "just in case." Percy takes some glasses out of his pocket (he doesnt need them) and looks it over, commenting on Blake's dedication to the job joke.)

The Malkavians arrive, and Pauline asks what happens when she was gone- the two fill her in about Father William, and Blake says it was risky to visit without telling the coterie (Leo says nothing to avoid being hypocritical, but gives her a bit of a side-eye). Pauline admits she went to a service but didn't think it was worthy to mention; she apologizes, and mentions she probably won't go to another service.

["FYI," Blake adds. "I didn't explode when I shook the priest's hand. Just so you know."] The original trio briefly wonders if Father William is the guy Harrison had warned them about when they first received the territory- Blake finally asks why Leo ran off, and the Malk once-again gives the rundown that the Father is dangerous. Pauline suggests maybe she should keep on the down-low for a bit, implying she might not visit the territory a lot.

["Maybe you should take the clippers to your hair again," Blake says. Pauline lights a cigarette. "...Perhaps you're right."]

----

Notes/Commentary:

Finally, another night has gone,,, /lh

Leo's been a vampire for 90 days! 🎉

The other player and I began to go wild in the chat over how Blake seems to have unintentionally unlocked Heightened Senses!

[in regards to Blake and Leo texting] "Please know that Leo would not put the discord eyes emoji, but just know it's there in spirit" amazing quote from Past Bmo, thank you

Leo types So Sketchy btw.

We all began to focus on the apple cores tbh. wtf is up with that we're So gonna check those out later

I can't help but wonder if the verses that Bible was open to has any lore significance? Foreshadowing, perhaps?? Or am I reading too into that?

If anyone's curious, Leo's ringtone is specifically the intro to TAZ:Balance ⭐

NOOO NOT THE DISSAPOINTED LINE THAT DADS USE-

Love how some of my only notes for this session was "Leo fucks up. Shinji pose," everything this man's been through has been his own goddamn fault

my boy is so stupid

Love Pauline sm. "hey guys what the fuck are we even doing at this point" The ST plays her So Well

Percy's player had a whole written dialogue prepared for describing his outift and every time he does something like this I'm blown away. So cool,,, decided to describe his outfit there bc of it

Shoutout to the moment the ST and I decided to spontaneously sing that one pina colada song

It's so funny that Leo doesn't know some of the clans and YET he knows what Antediluvians are. (Wonderful job telling your childe information there, J... /sar)

Hey yall. The Week of Nightmares caused headaches and weird visions. Ik Leo is a Malk so visions are normal for them, but... Have we considered some weird Antediluvian shit is going on with him?

Blake's player: Man I miss Pauline :-( ST: Dude she is RIGHT THERE-

I roll to see what Noddism is/if Leo recognizes that. Nothing. I roll 5 other dice for some reason bc the ST told me to- also nothing. /lh

//sobbing the dice HATE ME- (i've declared a Gehenna War upon the dice gods btw)

FATHER WILLIAM-

"Leo's going to run to... an alleyway." "An alleyway?!" "Yeah because nothing bad has ever happened to him in an alleyway" /silly

Leo realizes for the second time in his life that god sucks, more at 11-

Love how Percy contributed to the bit by pulling out reading glasses. Sir you don't need those

This was the first session I recorded hooray! Hence why there's so much more quote bits yayy

Anyway. im very tired gn yall

#eric finally speaks #blood and silicon #vtm chronicle #vtm #leo west #jeremiah

[thegayfromrulid]

I apologize for how little I've been on tumblr in the latter half of 2023. I know there's a lot of people on here who used to look up to me as a fan and some who still do. I'm sorry for being disappointing.

This year started out really good. I thought most of my absence would be because I'm doing really well in school, and I'm so so close to the final step to becoming a doctor in my field. In fact, my goal for 2024 is to start my dissertation, and that's a huge step and grand accomplishment that has taken hours of dedication, and I appreciate my readers' patience as I write during this time.

I passed (unofficially, just have to do some cleanup) my final doctoral qualifier. I finished up two fanfictions after trying so hard to get back into my pace after my accidents in 2021. I got engaged to the love of my life, and I reached spiritual and emotional peace over a 14-year-long trauma that I've been fighting. These were such good things that happened this year, and I'm ready to receive what goodness lies in 2024.

October sent me into a spiral I am just struggling to recover from. Not only is my family in a war zone, but that war zone is one of the most controversial ones in the world right now. And I have spent hours, days, weeks wailing over this genocide. I cannot help the people I love in either Palestine or Israel, who are caught in these crosshairs. And I drag myself to my university, where people scream and tell me that all Jewish people should leave or be accountable for these crimes. It was everything in me to make it to break. I rarely want to go home to my parents for extended time, but I practically fled my campus, and I broke down in tears in my mother's arms. I weep both for the injustice and for the guilt my own community forces on me, as if I am responsible for the sins of Israel.

I cannot promise a lot of activity from me in 2024. As long as Israel behaves this way, I will most likely remain distant from tumblr. Please don't take it personally. The flood of activism isn't wrong; I am just very weak from those voices which are loudly being antisemitic instead of critical of specifically Israel's government. Those voices are so loud I could some days barely get out of bed.

In 2024, I do ask people to be kind. Being kind will not fix everything. But it is one of the greatest things an individual can do during hard times. Kindness is treasured so much right now, especially as I am at such a low from the antisemitism around me. Give a compliment. Do a nice thing for someone. Sit in silence with someone who is too hurt to speak. And, most crucially, love those who struggle to love themselves.

Happy New Year, Shana Tovah

— AJ

#aj update #happy new year #cw israel #cw palestine #sorry for those cw again im just so emotionally devastated #i promised myself i would focus elsewhere but its so close to my damn heart #i have agonized over this most of my life as someone whose family are israelis #and i watched my best friend move back to palestine and die so #this is years worth of trauma and emotional hurt #im walking into my new year afraid of my community #because they assume i support my family's government #and i need all of the support from my friends that i can get

[notstilinski]

One Last Stop Starters !

Taken from the 2021 novel by Casey McQuinston, One Last Stop Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“(Name), stop telling people about frog ghosts.”

“They’re on (Name)‘s sleep schedule, though. So, a ghost in the night.”

“It gave us nine great years. And carpet can hide a multitude of sins.”

“If they’re gonna kill you, get their DNA under your fingernails.”

“That little twink contains multitudes.”

“They love me as much as they love anyone else.”

“You like jokes. I don’t.”

“Do you realize you just say words in any random order like they’re supposed to mean something?”

“I can’t decide if I’m impressed or horrified?”

“Definitely brought me back from the dead more than once, so, thank you.”

“Really out here smashing pussy, (Name).”

“We get about a hundred hot lesbians through here a week. You’ll find another one.”

“Sorry, like, it’s your life and all, but do you not hear how badass that sounds?”

“That sucks. I’m your mom now. The rules are, no Tarantino movies and bedtime is never.”

“You’re a bullshitter.”

“Because you have, like, the energy of someone who knows things.”

“A frontal lobotomy to forget the night I had?”

“Never thought I’d see a vampire I didn’t want to fuck.”

“We’ve kissed, like, three times, but they have that thing where they’re terrified of being loved and refuses to believe they’ve deserved it. It’s so tedious.”

“Does it ever, like… I don’t know. Make you lonely? To love somebody who can’t meet you there?”

“I hadn’t pegged you for a scammer.”

“I’m mysterious by nature, (Name).”

“Jesus. What did ya’ll do this time?”

“Hey, what’s up with you? Who hurt your feelings?”

“Who do we have to frame for murder?”

“A gift from (Name)? What god have I pleased?”

“Oh, I’m loving this already. What kind of creatures?”

“Cute. Maybe a poltergeist. A cute poltergeist. Can I meet them?”

“So, you’ve gathered us here to tell us you’re boned up for a ghost.”

“What? Pick the lock? What kind of feral child are you? Are you Jessica Jones?”

“You know, I thought you were a little spicy when I met you.”

“I swear to God, if a ghost kills me, I’ll haunt the shower.”

“Your friend is weird.”

“I told you, I think, I’m. Something’s wrong with me.”

“Honestly? The day I met you.”

“Yeah, guess I don’t have the whole magical soulmate bond you have with them.”

“(Name). Can we maybe not treat them like a creature of the week?”

“Like you’re their Pop-Tart angel. Like you shit sunshine. Like you invented love as a concept.”

“I think I should kiss you.”

“I’m repressing it! Let me repress it!”

“You’re so mean to me.”

“So many questions for someone who does not come to work.”

“Yeah, exactly. Forever. As in, it’s the only thing I know how to do.”

“I know logistically how to perform some tasks.“

“Go where? I’m trying to have a nervous breakdown here.”

“Can you turn that brain of yours off for a second and trust?”

“It makes me feel like I’m going to die!”

“You trusted me, right? Now trust yourself.”

“Big dick energy is gender neutral.”

“I mean, it’s as if you like to be emotionally tortured.”

“God, you are the most useless bisexual I’ve ever met in my entire goddam life.”

“I’d disappoint them. They don’t deserve to be disappointed.”

“Loving the sacrilege.”

“Wow, holy shit, you figured it out. You’re gonna win a Peabody Award for reporting.”

“As fun as it is to break your brain, no one at work knows. Tell them and I break your arm.”

“Is your family horny for Jesus too?”

“I’m not cute. I’m-I’m tough. Like a cactus.”

“Where does that disembodied voice keep coming from?”

“They’re always wearing the exact same thing. That’s ghost behavior if you ask me.”

“And I left them. That’s… Fuck. I forgot how that felt. I left them.”

“Yes, thank you. I invite you to eat a dick. Goodbye.”

“Maybe no good timing means there’s no bad timing either.”

“You’re a normal person. Under un-normal circumstances.”

“That’s new for you, huh? Being able to get drunk?”

“Is this a date? Am I on a date right now?”

“(Name). Any way you want to kiss me is the way I wanna be kissed, okay?”

“You’re like—like a fucking painting or something stupid like that, what the fuck. You just walk around like this all the time.”

“Sorry, was I skulking? Sometimes I skulk without realizing.”

“Okay, still, let me be a mom for a second.”

“(Name), we’re adults, just say you got your back blown out.”

“I guess criminal behavior isn’t as much of a turn-on for me.”

“Never go to a second location with someone unless you’ve checked their trunk for weapons first.”

“Let go of me. I deserve to be free.”

“They’re not gonna leave us if they get married, (Name).”

“How did this become a roast of me? (Name) is the one under the table.”

“I’m wearing a shirt and no pants. I’m Winnie the Pooh-ing it.”

“What do you mean? Why would they leave me something? I’m the shameful family secret.”

“No. I hit him. The lip is from when someone else pulled me off of him.”

“It’s like I died. I died, except I have to feel it. And on top of that, I have to feel everything else I’ve ever felt all over again. I have to get the bad news again every day, I have to deal with the choices I made, and I can’t fix it. I can’t even run from it. It’s miserable.”

“No, you didn’t. But you made me realize it. You made me remember. And maybe that’s worse.”

“Just because you can’t run doesn’t mean you can make me do it for you.”

“Uh-huh, and this wouldn’t have anything to do with the way you reflexively ice out anyone who even appears to have rejected or wronged you?”

“Oh, so they… they thought I just left without saying goodbye?”

“It’s not a heist. It’s… an elaborate, planned crime.”

“Okay…hmm… oh, I’ve made friends with a subway rat.”

“Judge all you want, but I’m the only one who will be spared in the inevitable Great Rat Uprising.”

“No, it’s cute! You’re such a nerd. It’s endearing!”

“What can I say? I’m the one that got away.”

“I have to say, I’m impressed. This is definitely the most organized crime I’ve ever been involved in.”

“Sometimes the point is to be sad, (Name). Sometimes you just have to feel it because it deserves to be felt.”

“For what it’s worth, you’ve never disappointed me once since I’ve met you.”

“Is there anything else you want, before tomorrow?”

“I just did it because I thought you were hot.”

“I was really lonely before I met you.”

“I like when you’re in crime boss mode.”

“They have to kill him. It’s the only way.”

“I can think later. Right now I just want to be here, okay?”

“I’m here. I’m not leaving.”

“You’re the most important person I’ve ever met. And I never should have met you at all.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence starters #sentence meme #starter sentences #ask prompts #ask meme #inbox memes #inbox prompts #novel sentence starters #my eyes are so tired from reading all day Jesus #gotta admit that it took me like 100 or so pages to get into this book & then i was in it for the long haul

[skania]

Warning really long read SORRY! I'm new to the fandom I started by watching episode 1 but dropped it for weeks until I saw reels comments and pictures going crazy with Akane. I picked it back up and started the manga after, Akane and Aqua of course became my favorite characters as I was able to personally connect with them through struggles I also faced. Your post have been very helpful as theres not to many places that aren't filled with negativity surrounding these two characters. These two characters have struggled so much and I can see how much they've come to truly care for each other especially when no one else was there. I wanted to share my thoughts with you but hesitated because I feel like they might not make sense. If it doesn't make sense please dont share I'll understand lol

"Kurokawa Akane is a child who takes you there Arima Kana is a child who brings you back"

This tweet from august 2021 from the author Aka Akasaka has alot of people trying to figure out the meaning, many interpret it and paint Akane in a bad light. When I first saw read it I just found it wierd how it was worded and how everything Akane has done for Aqua is always misinterpreted and they try to make her look as a bad person when she's actually far from it. It really got me thinking and this is my interpretation..

In chapter 51 we see how Akane has figured out the twins could possibly be Ai's secret child she got from her character analysis assumptions. She saw how badly it still affects Aqua and sympathized with him she herself knows the feeling of not wanting to worry others trying to take on the burden by yourself, she knows he cant talk to no one about the incident since it would expose Ai's secret. Akane truly cares about Aqua wanting to be the one by his side and helping him share his pain wanting to take her role of his girlfriend more seriously.

That specific tweet came out august 5 2021 the same day chapter 52 was released. The title of chapter 52 is called "boyfriend girlfriend" and at the beginning the editor note says "Where and how is Akane looking after the sick Aqua?" The chapter starts with Akane cooking a full course meal for Aqua and everyone there. We see the director and his mom complimenting her cooking then the directors mom says something that catches my attention she says "AQUA-KUN! SHE'S A KEEPER, HON! EATING DELICIOUS FOOD IS HAPPINESS ON ITS OWN YOU KNOW?" We then see Akane trying to feed Aqua but he ends up eating on his own we see him thinking its good and even blush alittle. During that time Akane is thinking to herself how she wants to help Aqua with his pain/burden just like he had saved and supported her. After we see Aqua lighten up allowing her see old acting videos of his she finds out from the director how he's been having his PTSD attacks when he acts and remembers his past experiences like earlier that day. She notices his performances are prepared in advance with no emotion behind his acting. Akane then asks Aqua why he's doing theater/acting work as its connected to his trauma. He tries saying she wouldn't understand and won't tell her why but after telling him how hes being contradictory he opens up and says well "What If My Goal Was To Kill Someone?" And how the person was high up in the entertainment world had to keep climbing in order to kill them he then asks her "What Would You Do Then?" Aqua was expecting her to not understand him and probably a negative reaction but to his surprise Akane replies "I'd Kill Them With You." with a smile making his negative emotions go away from his eye and even telling her not to say that lightly. Akane acknowledges if it's him he must have a reason and even if hes truly evil she'd still accept him for who he was. She says how she'd happily carry the sin even if the relationship was only for business purposes making Aqua say she out her mind. Akane then says how she wants his help as her boyfriend against kana and himekawa as she doesn't want to lose and Aqua realizes he should help her as her boyfriend. Even tho Aqua knows emotional acting is hard for him he's willing to practice and take it more seriously to help Akane.

After reading many assume its about the revenege part but i don't think thats it..yes aqua does mention it but he never actually asked her to help him though out the duration of thier relationships Akane finds the dad by coincidence. That chapter shows how they are getting closer and wanting to support each other. So i started thinking about the editors note and what the directors mom had said "Where and how is Akane looking after the sick Aqua" shes cooking for him to make him feel better and it did! The directors mom says how eating delicious food can make you happy and though out the whole manga the word "HAPPY" has always been associated with Akane and Aqua. Even in chapter 50 before his PTSD attack when thinking about happy memories his first thought was Akane related then Kana then the idol group. In every star eye color change he's had Aqua has thought of her as part of his happiness!='( So i was think what if the tweet maybe meant "Akane will take him to Happiness" because we actually already saw she did and he was fighting so hard not wanting to leave it but had no choice to protect her. Aqua is no longer there so thats when I started thinking about Kanas part. After recent chapters i started thinking what if Kana is going to help Aqua get back with Akane in the end. I'm thinking how tho then when I think bout how she's so similar to sarina and Ai what if she confesses to Aqua making him finally understand how he truly feels. The reason i also think this is because in the play arc when princess Saya(played by akane) dies Tsurugi(played by kana) helps in bringing her back to life and reuniting with Touki(played by Aqua). The play has alot of similarities to characters and even to the story you can link stuff together. In the Spur interview mengo says how Aka is a demon of analysis and objectivity.

So to end this my interpretation of the tweet is "Kurokawa Akane is a child who takes you there(Happiness) Arima Kana is a child who brings you back(to akane)"

Hi anon, welcome to the fandom! I wonder how many of us would've dropped ONK if it weren't for Akane and Aqua 😂

Thank you for sharing your theory with me! You explained it very well, so please don't worry about it! I have to admit that it has never occurred to me to read Aka's quote that way, my own read erred on the side of caution. But I mean, if we're here to ship, we may as well have fun while we're at it, right? And your take is so much fun! It's truly a Galaxy Brain interpretation of Aka's statement, and I can only imagine how many minds would be blown by it.

It really is funny how many people interpreted that statement to imply something negative about Akane, when Aka never said that had to be the case 😂

I'm thinking how tho then when I think bout how she's so similar to sarina and Ai what if she confesses to Aqua making him finally understand how he truly feels.

I've been thinking something similar!

The reason i also think this is because in the play arc when princess Saya(played by akane) dies Tsurugi(played by kana) helps in bringing her back to life and reuniting with Touki(played by Aqua). The play has alot of similarities to characters and even to the story you can link stuff together.

Yes!! I'm expecting that scene to be foreshadowing as well. We'll just have to wait and see how Aka plays it out 😂

#onk asks convos #with the way aka tries to involve kana in everything except for the actual plot #I'd honestly be surprised if she doesn't have something to say about the aquakane rift #I'm half expecting her to tell akane that she knows how she feels because aqua ignored her for a year lmao

[wartakes]

F-35: The Flying Money Furnace

This essay was first posted on March 2nd, 2021, and is the culmination of my long-time hate-affair with the F-35 Lightning II "Joint Strike Fighter."

The sad thing is I don't necessarily think the F-35 itself was a bad idea as an aircraft, but that the program and the system that birthed it and nurtured it are so twisted and corrupt and incompetent that turned it into an abomination. But anyway, I'll let you read me say that with more words now.

(Full essay below the cut).

The past two weeks have been an interesting one if you’re either a military aviation enthusiast or an advocate for not spending Olympic swimming pools worth of liquified money on imperialist military adventures – or in my case: both. And it all revolves around one particular weapons system that has deservedly been a lightning rod for attention when it comes to waste, corruption, incompetence, and all manner of other sins in the Military Industrial Complex (MIC): The F-35.

What is the F-35, for those of you who are not already familiar? The F-35 Lightning II was the winner of the military’s Joint Strike Fighter (JSF) program in the early 2000s, designed and intended to replace a whole host of combat aircraft across the Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps. An advanced, 5th generation multi-role fighter aircraft, the F-35’s advanced avionics, stealthy profile, and a number of other features claimed by its proponents were supposed to make it the backbone of U.S. military aviation for most of the 21st century – destined to be make up the majority of the military’s fleet of fixed-wing combat aircraft. It was to be capable of doing anything and everything that the military would need and doing it better than anything else.

So, what have the results been in practice, after twenty-something years of development?

If someone were trying to be diplomatic about it, they’d probably say “less than satisfactory.”

How would I put it though? As someone who has followed the development and (attempted) fielding of the F-35 since I was a kid, I think the results of the F-35 program are emblematic of everything currently wrong with the United States – both as a whole, and more specifically in the military and the broader national security establishment. What the MIC has produced is an aircraft that is the personification of the United States: a declining empire stumbling through late-stage capitalism gripped by crisis after crisis. How else can you describe things when the world’s richest and most powerful (supposedly) country has been running the most expensive weapons development program in human history for twenty plus years and yet it can’t even produce a working plane?

Trouble in “Paradise” (AKA Lockheed Martin Corporation of Bethesda, MD)

The inciting incident that started the current discussion and debate about the F-35 came on February 17th in the form of an article from the defense news website Breaking Defense (several other publications picked up the story in the following days). In the article, U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff General Charles “CQ” Brown was quoted by Breaking Defense saying that the Air Force was launching a new study with CAPE on the future composition of the service’s fleet of tactical aircraft.

For those of you who don’t have a cipher handy for the Pentagon’s alphabet soup, CAPE is Cost Assessment and Program Evaluation – essentially an independent think tank within the Office of the Secretary of Defense whose job is to look at procurement and acquisitions, ask questions about cost effectiveness, and if necessary to develop alternatives to service plans for new weapons systems and force structure (something that in my opinion they should be doing far more often and far more robustly, but I digress). When you have your grubby little fingers in a big juicy defense contract, and CAPE starts asking questions, you should start getting worried.

And in this case, its anyone who is involved with the F-35 who should be worried. This is based on several key statements Breaking Defense quoted Brown on from a conversation he had with the Defense Writers Group on the 17th. In particular, Brown stated (on the topic of the study):

“This will help inform the decisions that I think I need to make internal to the Air Force, and what I would recommend that force mix might be,” Brown told the Defense Writers Group late this afternoon. “Now, I will also tell you I don’t think that everybody’s going to exactly agree with what I say. But I want to actually have a starting point as a point of departure, a point of dialogue.”

Brown didn’t stop there:

The study will include a “clean sheet design” for a new “four-and-a-half-gen or fifth-gen-minus” fighter to replace the F-16, Brown elaborated. Rather than simply buy new F-16s, he said, “I want to be able to build something new and different, that’s not the F 16 — that has some of those capabilities, but gets there faster and uses some of our digital approach.”

That’s the paragraph in particular that says it all about the F-35, without actually saying the name of the F-35 – in fact, the original article itself only mentions the F-35 once, in the context that the General still believes that the service will need some fifth-generation fighters like it. But despite the fact that both Brown and the article take pains not to make this discussion about the F-35, don’t be mistaken; this is all about that particular grift of an aircraft. This was driven home further on February 25th, when the Air Force informed Breaking Defense that not only is their future tactical aircraft fleet under review, but so are those of the Navy and Marine Corps – who are also receiving F-35s to replace the vast majority of their fighter fleets. A memo obtained by Breaking Defense also noted that Undersecretary of Defense Kathleen Hicks had specifically ordered CAPE to review the F-35 – in addition to several other major acquisitions efforts.

Now, I’m not the first one to write about this (Forbes already published a piece by David Axe that basically came to the same conclusions as I have, as has Charles Pierce over at Esquire). But seeing as I probably have a slightly different take on all this even if I overall agree with them, I’m going to go ahead and take a stab my own, rambling analysis.

The most important thing to note here is that as the F-35 was intended to whole-sale replace the F-16 – a line that the DoD has stuck to until now – and suddenly the professional head of the Air Force is talking about something else replacing the majority of those aircraft, it suggests that the military’s confidence in the F-35 overcoming its prolonged “teething issues” has finally begun to wane to levels that probably has Lockheed Martin – the manufacturer  of the F-35 and the F-16 that it is replacing – starting to sweat. It has already been waging a battle – both directly and through various proxies – to prevent the Air Force from buying 144 new F-15EX multirole fighters to replace aging 70s and 80s variants of that fighter (which was supposed to have been replaced by the now curtailed F-22), seeing it as a threat to their current monopoly on building new fighter aircraft for the military.

These new statements by Brown have clearly already dumped some gasoline on the fire beneath Lockheed Martin’s feet. Since the story broke, Brown has had to walk back his statements slightly, asserting that the F-35 is still the Air Force’s “cornerstone fighter” and is not a “failure.” The fact that he came under any sort of pressure to do so, however, should tell you that the level of confidence those involved in that program have is currently very low and likely fragile (as should the fact Lockheed Martin is scrambling for good news on the F-35 in other areas).

Failures of the Flying Money Furnace

“So, what’s the deal with the F-35?”  You ask in your best Jerry Seinfeld impersonation, canned sitcom laughter echoing all around you.

In a nutshell: the “deal” is the fact that after over twenty years of development and over a trillion dollars spent – making it the most expensive weapons development program in human history – the F-35 is still suffering from numerous technical issues and shortcomings – with new ones being discovered consistently. Yes, despite twenty years and $1.727 trillion dollars, the F-35 has still not actually entered full-rate production – something it was scheduled to do in 2020, and has since been delayed indefinitely, with the plane remaining in low-rate initial production instead. This has left the F-35 – despite the fact that 563 of the aircraft have already been produced as of September 2020 – remaining little more than a “massively expensive prototype”, as the Project on Government Oversight (POGO)’s research puts it. This is reinforced by the fact that despite setting modest mission-capable rates for the aircraft, the F-35 failed to reach that rate by the prescribed deadline of September 2020 (the Marine Corp’s F-35B actually saw its mission capable rate drop. Ouch. Nice job, leathernecks).

POGO’s research on the F-35 program shows that the primary reason for the delays have been the persistent technical flaws and issues that have plagued the F-35 throughout its development – with the most serious having been discovered only after the initial production aircraft have arrived at units for operational testing. According to the latest annual report on the F-35 from DoD’s Director, Operational Test & Evaluation (DOT&E) published in October 2020, the F-35 has 871 unresolved deficiencies – a decline of only 2 from 2019. Of these deficiencies, ten are classified as Category 1, the most serious classification of flaw, meaning that they could cause severe illness, injury, or death – as well as major damage to or the loss of the weapons system in question, with a negative impact on combat readiness.

The report (not surprisingly) does not go into any real detail on the nature of the F-35’s flaws, but it does point to significant stability issues with the aircraft’s software, with the solving of one bug by developers creating more bugs in the process at a rate faster than they can keep up with. This is not the only way in which software is a liability for the F-35. Its heavy dependence upon computerized systems and networks means it is essentially a flying vector for cyber-attacks – as is its ground-based support system (which we’ll get to in a moment, along with its other flaws). If you think the problems are only with software though, don’t speak too soon: POGO points out that the F-35 has suffered from numerous mechanical breakdowns over the years too – the key driver behind that abysmal mission-capable rate that we touched upon earlier.

Even as the rate of breakdowns has declined, the F-35 suffers from being a notoriously hard plane to repair, with even experienced ground-crews reportedly taking twice as long as should be necessary to repair the aircraft when its broken. This then translates into incredibly high costs as well. When the F-35 can fly, it apparently costs $44,000 per hour to keep it in the air – over twice as much compared to that A-10s and F-16s that it is supposed to replace in the Air Force. When POGO extrapolated that out over the expected 8,000 flying hour lifespan of each F-35, it came out to $352 million to operate one jet, effectively making it nothing more than a flying money furnace (and conveniently, a great title for this essay).

Then there are the problems with the plane that aren’t with the plane itself but are with the entire infrastructure needed to support it. Despite having 14 years in change to prepare, contractors have been unable to complete the simulators and ranges necessary for further testing and training – part of the reason why the aircraft has remained in low-rate production. The F-35’s Autonomic Logistics Information System (ALIS) has also been notorious for its failings – which included forcing maintainers to work excessive hours just to create workarounds to avoid the system creating false deficiencies and ordering incorrect parts. The Pentagon finally admitted in 2020 that the system was beyond salvaging and now plan to spend $550 million over the next five years to build a replacement system for it. Oh, and by the way, that replacement system (which is called “ODIN”; try not to roll your eyes)? DOT&E is already saying that DoD’s expectations and deadlines for the replacement are unrealistic, calling it “high risk” in its F-35 report. Its already reportedly running into some issues out of the gate, cutting corners and creating potential problems later on down the line.

I usually try not to get sucked into “time is a flat circle” despair, but I can certainly see why some people do when I start to do a deep dive on the F-35.

Finally, even when you look past the design deficiencies and flaws that have emerged after the F-35 has entered production and operational testing, there’s the fact that the F-35s superiority is dependent upon a quality that the United States can no long take for granted: stealth. When the F-35 began development, the United States was still the only country in the world with stealth aircraft, which it had used to bomb Iraq with impunity during the 1991 Gulf War. The F-35 was to utilize the stealth developments of past aircraft like the F-22 fighter, B-2 bomber, and F-117 strike aircraft to allow it to get the drop on any and all adversaries.

The problem there is, in the twenty years it has taken to develop the F-35 and put it into production, stealth isn’t what it used to be. Russia and China – and even U.S. ally Germany – have claimed to have developed new and advanced radar systems that may be able to detect stealth aircraft like the F-35 and F-22. Even certain kinds of existing radars may also have an ability to detect stealth aircraft as well by utilizing technology and techniques from as far back as the 1950s. These systems have all obviously generated some scrutiny, and I’d remiss if I didn’t say we should take any claims from Russia and China that they can defeat the stealth capabilities of U.S. aircraft with a grain of salt. But even if these radars are only partly effective, those marginal abilities be used as part of a suite of systems that could counter stealth aircraft. Its easy to forget Serbia was able to down an F-117 stealth fighter during Operation Allied Force in 1999 – they actually hit another too, in a less well-known story – though that one didn’t crash).

Now all this doesn’t mean stealth is completely useless or obsolete.  But assuming stealth will always be assured is a risky move to make, especially when you’ve gambled big on it being the chief advantage of your primary airframe – like with a certain 5th-gen fighter we’ve been discussing. So, what is the F-35 like when you take away that advantage?

Well, for one, the F-35 doesn’t carry a lot of munitions – at least if you want to maintain that stealth profile to begin with. If you do want to maintain stealth, you need to carry all your ordinance internally. This not only cuts down the amount of ordinance you can carry but limits you to only one kind of air-to-air missile – the AIM-120 AMRAM and one kind of bomb – the JDAM  (as of 2019 Lockheed Martin appears to have found a way to increase the number of missiles the F-35 can hold from four to six, probably feeling the heat from competitors or curtailed construction). It’s also slower than the aircraft its most likely to go up against, like the Russian MiG-29 and Su-27 families of aircraft – even when it’s not restricted from supersonic flight to avoid damaging itself in the process. Hell, it’s even slower of the F-15s, F-16s, and F/A-18s that its slated to either replace or supplant in U.S. service.

On top of those points, the F-35 is also far less maneuverable than 4th generation fighters, easily outfought by aircraft from both the United States and abroad. Some proponents of the F-35 have argued that this doesn’t matter, as the age of the “dogfight” is dead. The problem with their comeback is, their argument – by their own admission in some cases – hinges upon the F-35s stealth capability, assuming that most of its kills would be undetected and beyond the sight of its enemy. This brings us back to our original question “well, ok, but what if you don’t have stealth?” This presumption that the F-35’s stealth advantage will go unchallenged now or in the future, further lends credence to the fact it is a double-edged sword: its main advantage, but also potentially its downfall in combat.

All these factors (and more that I could go deeper into if this wasn’t already shaping up to be the longest essay that I’ve written so far) add up to tell you one thing: when you take away the stealth advantages, the F-35 is pretty much just a middling fighter jet with a lot of expensive computers in it. Those expensive computers may offer some key advantages, but don’t offer enough on their own to justify the price tag. With its overdependence on stealth – an advantage the United States will not have a monopoly on forever – the F-35 is the perfect fighter for an imperial power that has convinced itself it has a God-given right to military superiority.

Why Should We Care?

I could go on about the technical and conceptual failures of the F-35 for hours. Literally. I could. I have before (ask my poor friends who have been subjected to shit like this in our DMs and hours-long voice calls). I had to throttle myself back on how much I bombarded you all with from the DOT&E report and POGO’s analysis of it and other F-35 data, out of the fear I may scare even more of you off (if you’re still reading this essay this far in, bravo to you). If you want to really geek out about this like I do, I suggest you go back and read both of those documents (I’ll link them both here in case you missed them before) to soak up all the other failings of the DoD and Lockheed Martin that I wasn’t able to describe here lest this turn into a full-on book that even less people will read than already are.

But again, I digress. I’ve thrown a lot of boring NatSec nerd shit at you about aircraft and procurement and testing and etc. So, what you may be wondering is “KD, why should we care about this?”

I feel like some of the answer to that is already implicit in everything that’s occurred, but it’s still a fair question and I’ll break down my own personal feelings – which is that resources wasted on this program and the attempts to casually shrug it off after spending insane amounts of money on it that could have been put to countless other better uses, enrages me to my core both as a national security professional and as a leftist. I’m going to try and break down why it gets to me in both those facets, separate from one another – though there is arguably some crossover.

As a leftist, it should be pretty obvious why this gets to me – or anyone really. We’ve entering year two of life under lockdown due to COVID-19, where the amount of financial support from the government has been absolutely pitiful in scale, with our leaders dithering over providing people with what are essentially band-aids to put on financial sucking chest wounds (by the way, on that topic: where’s my fucking $2000 Joe? Not $1400, $2000), let alone a minimum wage increase. Additionally, government response to the myriad of other natural disasters over the past year has also been laughable, the most recent example being Texas’ response to a blizzard that resulted in multiple deaths – that response consisting more of blaming the Green New Deal (which is still just a proposal and isn’t even a law yet) while casually ignoring their own lack of investment in protecting their infrastructure and their insistence on having their power grid be isolated from others in order to avoid Federal oversight.

The message we get from all of this, is that the government can’t afford to spend money on health care, unemployment, raising the minimum wage, natural disaster recovery, improving infrastructure and utilities, or any of those things that maybe a modern country should have in the 21st century. But what it can do, is spend north of a trillion dollars over twenty years or so on a shitty fighter jet that doesn’t even fucking work. They can’t spend the money to – at bare minimum – prevent people from dying in their own homes during a severe weather event, but they can continue to throw money at the failed jet in a desperate attempt to make it work. Then, as it to kick additional dirt in our face, they can casually suggest that maybe the $1 trillion jet was a bad idea and we should try building something else, without a hint of remorse or guilt, as they wring their hands over a single $1400 check that they somehow expect will be enough for people suffering throughout this trash fire of a year to live on until the pandemic is over (whenever the hell that may be).

If you’re not a leftist already, I don’t see how this would do some serious leg work in pushing you further there. The money spent on the F-35 compared to just about anything else we need in this country truly reinforces a feeling that at best, our leaders our simply oblivious to the plight of the most vulnerable and the repercussions of the ongoing crises, and at worse they are fully aware and just don’t give a shit about people’s suffering as long as they remain in power and they – and their rich friends – get what they want to get out of it. Even before I became a leftist, I thought the F-35 was a wasteful boondoggle that made me sigh and shake my head. Now it makes me spew out several thousand angry words about it in text form because I have to do something in order to keep the rage from completely consuming me.

So, that’s my rant about the F-35 as a leftist. Pretty standard. But what about as a national security professional? From that angle, the F-35 angers me because it just points to the utter breakdown of the defense establishment since the end of the Cold War – and in particular since the start of the War on Terror after 9/11. If any of you who have read some of my other pieces by now, you know that despite my politics, I am under no illusions that we’d still very much need a military under a leftist political system. War, as I have said and will continue to say, is not going anywhere. Despite what tankies on twitter may try to tell you, countries like China, Iran, North Korea, and Russia are not your friends and do not have good intentions. There are plenty of other legitimately bad actors out there too who have ill-intent. We shouldn’t seek out fights, but we should be prepared to defend ourselves and others from aggression. Likewise, while I don’t think we should be spending the astronomical amounts of money we currently pay into defense, I do think that we’ll need to spend some money on it and will need new capabilities in the future.

But what the F-35 debacle shows me is, is that the MIC has gone fully rampant under the current system. The fact that the F-35 hasn’t been able to work out its problems, wasting two decades and nearly $2 trillion in money that could have gone to any number of more worthy causes or more practical weapons systems, does not bode well. Especially when you remember that the F-35 is only the latest in a long line of failed, major procurement programs to replace Cold War-era hardware – such as the Crusader artillery system, the Comanche scout helicopter, the Expeditionary Fighting Vehicle, Future Combat Systems, and many, many, many more (which maybe I’ll do a separate piece on some day; or two, or three). The defense establishment’s ability to actually produce a working, effective product, for a price that isn’t outrageous, has dropped off drastically since the end of the Cold War.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not wearing rose colored glasses. Procurement and acquisitions in the military has always been flawed and corrupt. But during the Cold War  we were still at least able to produce some working products that fulfilled their purpose to a satisfactory end. The Army managed to get its “Big Five” systems into production in the 1980s – the M1 Abrams tank, M2 Bradley IFV, AH-64 Apache attack helicopter, UH-60 Black Hawk utility helicopter, and the Patriot missile system – and now those aging systems and others like them continue to form the backbone of the military, as countless attempts to replace them have failed – not before wasting billions of dollars of public money that could be paying for people to stay home right now, of course.

Why are things like this? It’s not a simple answer, and beyond answering concisely in one article. A lot of reasons combined, is as simple as I can put it. Incompetence and mismanagement within the DoD itself to start. Then add in a healthy mix of greed, corruption, and feelings of impunity on the part of both the defense contractors and their allies within DoD. This is all mostly baseless speculation on my part, admittedly – but it doesn’t take a genius to look at how these programs work and know there’s shady shit going on behind the scenes. Really, this is all shocking to me, as I have constantly been told that capitalism breeds innovation, so I can’t believe that the F-35 has turned out the way it has in the hyper capitalist state of affairs that we’ve grown to live in today (in case you can’t tell, rest assured, that is sarcasm).

Turbulence Ahead

Is this the end of the F-35? Probably not. Enough of them have been built at this point that we’ll be cursed with them for a good long while. But even if DoD curtails or cancels the rest of its production, the issues that produced it in the first place remain, and we may already be getting a preview of what our next big fuck-up might be as we circle back to the statements of good ol’ General Charlie Brown that kicked off this extended rant-fest.

If you remember from way towards the start of this article, General Brown said he might want a “clean sheet” replacement to the F-16. That line made my eyes just about roll back into my head and let out an existential scream, because it shows that the DoD has either learned nothing or learned just enough to realize they made a huge mistake but not enough to not repeat it. All I know is, if I were General Brown, I wouldn’t be so eager to launch into a new multi-year, multi-billion clean-sheet aircraft procurement program if I’d just candidly admitted that the one I was mired in was a complete and total shitshow that wasn’t getting the job done. If you didn’t want to just buy a new F-16 – and hey, critical support to not buying anything from Lockheed Martin – you could find another jet that’s probably just as good if not better. Why does it have to be clean sheet? Why is good ol’ Charlie Brown once again ready for Lucy to pull the football away again right as he’s about to kick it?

Here’s where I rapidly jump back between one of the two wolves inside me – the Nat Sec analyst – the other one – the leftist: the obvious answer seems to be that you need to keep the defense companies fat and happy. Sure, you could just buy some existing, upgraded fighter aircraft – like the Air Force has already done with the F-15EX. But if the F-35 debacle has proven one thing, its that having a long, drawn out, big ticket weapons development project like the F-35 gives you a lot more opportunities to drain the taxpayer for every cent even if it turns out to be a failure – maybe even especially if it turns out to be a failure. God forbid any of that money to building a road or a working power grid.

Maybe I’m giving the defense companies too much credit when it comes to supervillain plots, but it’s hard not to be cynical and jaded at this point. Especially when we could have done things so much differently.

The United States was the only great power in the world to decide it was going all in on 5th generation stealth fighters as the backbone of its military air forces at the dawn of the 21st century. Practically every other major military power in the world – including Russia, China, and a lot of U.S. allies and partners – decided it would be a lot safer bet to wait and see when it came to 5th generation fighters, and they were right. Many of them decided to simply upgrade their 4th generation fighters or build advanced new ones, waiting for us to work out all the kinks and make all the missteps – much like me watching my brother go through multiple early generation iPods as a kid before I finally bought a later model one that still works to this day. Even the countries that participated in the global effort to build the F-35 or buy it probably got a better deal out of it than if they’d tried to build their own. After all, the United States was the one expelling the lion’s share of the blood, tears, sweat, and treasure in the project. Even if those participating were getting a subpar fighter, they at least were getting it having paid far less – and were learning from U.S. mistakes. Now, as the United States buys the F-15EX and consider an alternative to replace the F-16, it arrives twenty-something years late at the obvious conclusion that a bunch of its friends and most likely adversaries have long already figured out.

At any rate, who knows what this CAPE report will end up leading to. Maybe it’ll go nowhere, ending up as a big nothing sandwich. Whatever happens, it doesn’t change the fact that the F-35 is a fundamentally flawed and wasteful project that lays the worst qualities of the MIC and of our country as a whole. It is indicative of behavior that is not only harmful to this country’s national security, but more importantly, is harmful to its people and their needs. The F-35 is indicative of America’s dying imperial power. The system that leads to corporate grifts like the F-35 program need to be ended and replaced. Otherwise, much like a faulty F-35, this country will quite simply crash and burn in a horrific and disastrous fashion.

#essay #War Takes #War Takes Essay #leftism #leftist #socialism #democratic socialism #international relations #IR #national security #national defense #international security #foreign policy #foreign affairs #military industrial complex #F-35 #f 35 lightning ii #joint strike fighter #F-35 Lightning ii #defense policy

[lecpenni]

LEC RETROSPECTIVE: ASTRALIS

Man, this one's just sad.

So Astralis have had a very unfortunate history in LEC so far. Rebranding Origen, which wasn't the most successful after 2016, qualifying to worlds in 2015 and making it to semifinals with that early Niels/Mithy botlane, before losing it to G2 and floundering around the bottom of the table until being demoted in 2017, and then being accepted as a partner org for LEC franchising.

After 2019's "superteam" lost in spring finals to the G2 actual Superteam, 2020's "superteam" (also featuring Upset, natch) performed basically ok then went 10th in summer, and rebranded to Astralis heading into 2021. Signing an all new roster going into 2021, they floundered around the bottom of the table, going 9th, tied 7th, then 9th and 10th in 2022. But the rosters always had flashes of brilliance with endearing players like Zanzarah, WhiteKnight who had arguably a top 3 lee sin in the world during that cursed Lane Sin period, and Kobbe who was a reliable rock looking for a team to finally step out of the shadow of his prior glories on Misfits and Splyce and his 2020 on TSM which was a disaaaaster. Well going into 2023, Astralis actually kept a surprisingly consistent core of Dajor in Mid, Kobbe in Bot, and Korean support Jeonghoon, previously known as Execute, who made a strong impression early in 2022 on Pyke and Bard, despite being on bottom CL rosters beforehand. In addition, they retained the same coaching staff, which while not the top tier of LEC coaches, you could do a WHOLE lot worse. The new additions were Finn in top lane, who had a... odd history prior to this. Debuting in 2019 Summer as a sub for Rogue, who had a fairly weak roster at that point, before making Worlds with a similar roster in 2020, and utterly flopping as the EU 3rd seed, moving to NA and joining CLG during their worst years ever, then coming back to EU and joining Excel during their most successful year, and missing out on worlds by getting reverse swept by a Fnatic who had a fair amount of promise. And in the Jungle, 113. I think most people would say he's probably one of the worse jungle prospects in the ERLs, and he certainly didn't impress while on KCorp, often dragging his team down. But, with a good coach and team around him, he could maybe impress. Early on, not many hopes were had for Astralis, who were often placed bottom 2 or 3 alongside SK in tier lists and power rankings, due to the slightly underwhelming pickups of 113 and Finn, Dajor's mostly amateurish gameplay and Kobbe and Jeonghoon probably being elo helled again due to this topside.

But against all odds, Astralis managed to not completely shit the bed in Winter! Overall they went 3-6 in winter, which did qualify them for Groups, barely. Losses to a new G2 and Yike on a carry jungler, vs Heretics with a brave ass Fiora pick, Vitality who actually did well in Winter overall, and BDS left them very unoptimistic going into week 3, but grabbing a win over Excel meant they were at least guaranteed a chance for top 8, with an incredibly dominant Lucian/Nami, and on Week 3, a clutch Gangplank from Finn snatched victory from the jaws of defeat dropping absolute gorgeous barrels that completely annihilated an MVP level Exakick on Lucian, and then the game that would decide if Astralis could make it to groups, vs a slumped Fnatic that would end up missing playoffs for the first time in their history. Astralis, against almost all odds made it to groups. You could argue it was off the back of Excel looking completely lifeless and horrendous, and Fnatic having a ridiculously poor season in a meta that hated them, but nonetheless, Astralis overcame them and a rising SK to make it to groups. Let's Goooo!!!! And in groups they shit it goddamn it. A 2-1 loss to MAD Lions, who ended up being Astralis' bane this season, with a genuinely unique and surprisingly strong Cassio/Twitch botlane (it lost anyways), and a monster performance from Dajor and the Botlane in Game 2, followed by getting a win over BDS who hadn't come into their winning ways just yet, anchored by a Kled from Finn, his previous one-trick, and a really damn good Varus from Kobbe, carrying them through to one last try at Playoffs. Who's their opponent MAD fucking lions goddamn it all.

A quick 2-0 from MAD, focusing a Dajor who floundered all series, and a fairly disastrous performance from 113, despite Kobbe's best effort on Lucian left Astralis in a maybe not respectable, but certainly surprising 5th place. They scrapped and fought their way up and punched up for most of their victories, demonstrating a style that maybe wasn't unlike some Asian teams, with a toplaner transitioned around the map to generate pressure, a roaming mid-jungle and a strongside botlane who made sure they were the stars. But most of all, they showed 0 fear on engaging and taking every little fight they could, to generate any kind of advantage. That made Astralis genuinely exciting to watch, but there was an obvious weak link on the roster, and that was Mid lane. Going into Spring, Dajor was out, and the rumoured Mid was none other than LIDER, a player who was often considered a dark horse for most inflexible player ever. The narrative was always that the man would and could only ever play assassins, an unusual thing in high level play, as most midlaners since 2016ish stuck to control mages, with occasional assasin picks or poke mages as niche counterpicks. But honestly? That was never true. LIDER did play mages as and when needed, the man just preferred assassins in the game, and he was still capable of your Ryzes, (with the meta changes) your Annies, your Aurelion Sols, even an Azir from time to time. Yes, assassins were his specialty, and mostly what he played, but the narrative that his assassins were his only successful picks? Just untrue. Spring began with a rough first week. FOR ASTRALIS' OPPONENTS, THAT IS. Taking games over KOI, who made playoffs last season, and the Champions G2, with a LIDER Irelia, and dropping a game to SK, with a... unique botlane of Veigar/Pyke that did NOT pay off. Week 2 went rougher, losing to MAD (i told you) and BDS, who came in with a clear gameplan and a perfect plan on how to execute every comp, and then taking a game off of Vitality thanks to a strong LIDER Asol, and a fairly bad game from Bo on the inverse. Week 3 began with a new look again, as LIDER got his Zed, and used it to utterly dominate midlane and carry Astralis through, basically securing playoffs for the team. A win over Excel, thanks to a LIDER Irelia, and a win over Fnatic with another LIDER Zed, a JeongHoon Blitzcrank secured Astralis their first 3-0 week, and a shot at the top couple spots of the season, placing 2nd overall. A damn good finish, if i've ever seen one. LIDER brought so much to the team, and they looked incredibly strong going into the next round. Some things hadn't changed, like 113's ability to be exploited, but overall this roster look shockingly strong, and their playstyle had been solidified, and bright eyes looked forward to groups. We begin the group stage against the one and only Fnatic, a genuinely shockingly close series for what should've been 2nd place vs 8th place, but an odd choice with Illaoi from Finn lost game 2, alongside a misguided Zed pick from LIDER, and a game 3 that hinged on the success of another LIDER Irelia, which managed to finally pull out the win after a half hour slugfest. Astralis, to be frank, were bleeding. They didn't look anywhere as scrappy or exciting as in the regular season, and their next series vs Vitality, to qualify for playoffs, well... Remember yesterday when I said this series was the one that showed the Bo That Was Promised, an insane mechanical hypercarry player who could demolish a team and turn them into a chinese tiktok montage? Yeah, Astralis was on the recieving end of that. 113 and LIDER got absolutely FARMED by a wukong, followed by a Lee Sin, and that was a deathblow for Astralis' mental it felt like. They had beat Vitality already once, like, what was this? Their next series, since they had already won the one vs Fnatic, was vs... MAD FUCKING LIONS. I told you they were their kryptonite this season.

And despite a Cassio and Talon (?) from LIDER, 113 got hard exposed and dominated by the mid jungle of MAD, ending their season, once again, early. This was a sad moment. Astralis had finally begun to reach the heights of the roster that was promised to them, but other teams started reaching their heights much faster than they did, and simply outclassed them. Over the break for MSI, Astralis was one of few roster to make no changes. They had a winning formula, the 2nd place in spring proved that, and the formula and strategy was locked down, scrap everywhere, fight everything, get lane dominant picks and move Finn around to every sidelane to make sure you couldn't do anything without worrying about where he was.

Well... Summer came. And this is where their story goes from hopeful rise of a plucky young adventurer, to a tragedy that ends with the adventurer getting beheaded by the mighty warlord at the end. Summer didn't go well. At all. Week 1 began with a game vs Fnatic, the team that they beat in Spring Groups, however now sporting a fashionable new Botlane of Noah and Trymbi, who proceeded to utterly shitstomp them. A game vs Heretics with a shiny new Vetheo and Flakked, who proceeded to utterly dismantle a LIDER Neeko, but ending the week on a positive note with one of the absolute worst earlygames i've ever had the pleasure of watching in pro league of legends, vs BDS. Nuc simply walks into LIDER for about 10 seconds letting him fully stack Lethal Tempo and nearly 1v2 Adam and Nuc. Please watch it, it's so absolutely pathetic and tragic for how the rest of the game now goes. Finn also helps by RPing Peak Shanji (the OMG toplaner known for his AP tops like Rumble) in the toplane vs Adam, and you know what. It's not the worst. It was a fun fucking game, but the fact that Astralis only won because BDS managed to completely annihilate their ENTIRE early game by doing that wasn't a good sign. Week 2 came by, Astralis were sitting tied with 5 other teams at 1-2, so not that well off, but they could be much worse. Right now they could be Excel still sitting at 0-3! First game, vs MAD lions oh for fuck sake why did they give Nisqy Gragas. That's like rule number 1 vs MAD since winter playoffs, don't give Nisqy Gragas. Well that's lost. Game 2, Vitality well this should be better, vitality look lost and helpless in almost every game now! And Astralis do it! Another Yasuo, with a Gragas for Finn in top handily sweeps the floundering Vitality, and Game 3 of the week pits them vs G2 aaaand yeah it goes about as well as you might think. The game's an absolute snoozer with 10 kills in almost 30 minutes, but demonstrates something amazing about G2 and something really bad about Astralis. Unless they're running the pace of the game, Astralis generally flounder. And G2 are professionals at running the game at the exact pace they desire. Week 3 comes by, and Astralis are a bit worse off. Now they're only tied with 3 other teams, and they could still make it to groups, but few people have high hopes for them. Some of the people they're tied against, they face this week, and BDS they've already beaten. This should be easy, right? Well they beat SK, thanks almost exclusively to a LIDER Azir, giving them one step up on the competition for 8th, now all they need is:

Beat KOI

SK Lose another game

Well, next game vs an Excel who got their first 3-0 week and look decently strong, they lose. No biggie. Would've been nice to win, but all they need now is SK lose (they didn't, they beat MAD) and to beat KOI. That KOI game was an absolute shitshow. Comp pulls out an off-meta Sivir and reminds the world why Sivir was the menace it was just after the rework, with a disasterclass from JeongHoon on Nautilus. Well, their season isn't over just yet! If SK lose to Fnatic, the First place team with a dominant insane botlane, an MVP jungler and one of the strongest toplaners right now, then Astralis qualify! Well they get a tiebreaker. But they've beaten SK before, it's doable again! That SK-Fnatic game was a nailbiter start to finish. From a surprisingly Humanoid Xerath, one of the most terrifying 4/4 Jaxes i've ever seen, and a ridiculous carry performance from Mr Sertussy, it was an end to Astralis' season. 9th place. Where most predicted they'd end in Winter and Spring. Afterwards, it's announced that due to Championship points, it's impossible to Astralis to qualify for Season finals, meaning for Finn, 113, LIDER, Kobbe and JeongHoon, that's it. Their season is completely over. Unlike Vitality who finished last, they're done for now. Following this was some truly heartbreaking posts, especially from Finn, which I'll show here in its entirety:

Finn spent most of the year playing at a high level, being massively underrated on Astralis' roster, and even arguably on Excel, and to lose like this is really heartbreaking. As he says, At the end of the day 2 teams have to miss out, this summer split it just ended up being us. Astralis' future is unknown. Even before the split, rumours were abound that the org was planning on collaborating with KCorp and making the LEC spot a joint-ownership between Astralis and KCorp, but that deal fell through. Most of these players deserve more shots, but most teams won't be shopping around for new players in the offseason until worlds in October/November. I do hope the best comes for this team and these players. APPENDED: I finished this post at around 3:30PM on Friday, and a report has just come out about an hour ago from blix.gg (read here on this link) that Astralis are considering selling their spot again, and negotiations got pretty far with Saudi Org, Falcons, who operate a french CSGO (now CS2 i guess) starring KennyS. Riot apparently blocked the sale, not wanting a Saudi investment firm to get in. Blix also says that some ERL teams are competing for the spot, and if it does end like this, man that's sad. Yeah Astralis weren't the best team but they had heart and their players were likeable as fuck, with genuinely cool plays and players across their history, even in the most dire days of their history.

#lol esports #lec #astralis #ast lider #ast finn #ast kobbe #esports #league of legends

[tomorrowxtogether]

TOMORROW X TOGETHER Lands First No. 1 Album on Billboard 200 Chart

TOMORROW X TOGETHER lands its first No. 1 album on the Billboard 200albums chart, as The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION debuts atop the tally (dated Feb. 11). The five-song set earned 161,500 equivalent album units in the U.S. in the week ending Feb. 2, according to Luminate, largely driven by CD album sales.

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION is the third top 10-charting effort for the South Korean vocal group, which reached the top 10 previously in 2022 with Minisode 2: Thursday’s Child (No. 4) and in 2021 with The Chaos Chapter: Freeze (No. 5).

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION halts the chart-topping run for SZA’s SOS, which falls to No. 2 (100,000 equivalent album units; down 10%) after spending its first seven weeks at No. 1.

Also in the top 10 of the new Billboard 200, Sam Smith achieves their fourth top 10-charting effort as Gloria debuts at No. 7, while Lil Yachty notches his third top 10 set with the No. 9 arrival of Let’s Start Here.

The Billboard 200 chart ranks the most popular albums of the week in the U.S. based on multi-metric consumption as measured in equivalent album units, compiled by Luminate. Units comprise album sales, track equivalent albums (TEA) and streaming equivalent albums (SEA). Each unit equals one album sale, or 10 individual tracks sold from an album, or 3,750 ad-supported or 1,250 paid/subscription on-demand official audio and video streams generated by songs from an album. The new Feb. 11, 2023-dated chart will be posted in full on Billboard‘s website on Feb. 7. For all chart news, follow @billboard and @billboardcharts on both Twitter and Instagram.

Of The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION’s 161,500 equivalent album units earned, album sales comprise 152,000, SEA units comprise 9,000 (equaling 13.24 on-demand official streams of the set’s five songs) and TEA units comprise 500.

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION scores the largest sales week for any album since Taylor Swift’s Midnights debuted at No. 1 with 1.14 million copies sold on the Nov. 5, 2022-dated chart. Of The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION’s 152,000 sold, 98% were CD sales (148,500), while 2% were digital album sales (3,500). The set was not available to purchase in any other configuration (such as vinyl or cassette).

The CD configuration of The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION was issued in collectible packages (14 total, including exclusive editions for Barnes & Noble, Target and the Weverse webstore), each with a standard set of internal paper items and branded randomized mystery elements (photo cards, photo books, post cards). CD sales were also enhanced by autographed editions sold via the act’s webstore.

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION is TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s seventh charting album on the all-genre Billboard 200, though the act has yet to reach the all-genre Billboard Hot 100 songs chart. TOMORROW X TOGETHER is the second act to top the Billboard 200 in the last year without also having previously logged a hit on the Hot 100, following fellow K-pop group Stray Kids, which notched two No. 1 albums in 2022 (ODDINARY and MAXIDENT).

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION is recorded mostly in the Korean language, with some English lyrics. It is the 17th mostly non-English language album to hit No. 1. In 2022, there were four non-English No. 1s from BTS’ mostly-Korean Proof, Bad Bunny’s all-Spanish Un Verano Sin Ti and Stray Kids’ mostly-Korean ODDINARYand MAXIDENT. Of the 17 mostly non-English No. 1 albums, 10 have been Korean-language projects (six from BTS, two from Stray Kids, one from SuperM and one from TOMORROW X TOGETHER).

#txt #tomorrow x together #230206 #article #billboard #soobin #yeonjun #beomgyu #taehyun #hueningkai #The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION