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#sirens gold chapter 7
justporo · 5 months
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Down, down the rabbithole
A Night of Fake Smiles and Hidden Lies: Part 7
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Author's Note:Not sure how I feel about this chapter, so I'm very interested in what you think - also I have for the time being nothing more already written. Now we just go with the flow. (Also Edgar Allan Poe gets quoted in this one, please all thank @megschaef98 for advising me on that with her expertise; poems cited in order of appearance: For Annie, Annabel Lee and To One in Paradise)
Astarion and Tav venture further into the darker (and naughtier) corners of this grand event.
Songs: Cup Runneth Over - Kiki Rockwell Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You) Rating: Explicit Warnings: use of drugs, light smut, mentions of sex, gambling, basically a lot of sinful behaviour
CHAPTER LIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER ~~~
Astarion’s thumb wandered softly over your entwined fingers and he threw you a worried glance as you left the room and closed in on a giant hallway and staircase.
“Are you alright, my love?”, he asked softly. You nodded as you already felt the heavy feeling lift the further away you got from the siren and her song. Your heart that had felt gripped and dragged under by the siren’s magic slowly rising to the top again.
You simply nodded and kept walking but stopped in front of the stairs.
One set of stairs led up, the other leading down was roped-off. And from somewhere to the right a busy stream of servants kept coming with heavy trays and others came in with their empty ones – seemingly the kitchen was nearby.
You quickly slid your empty bowl on one of the passing servers’ empty trays before you turned to Astarion. “You want to keep going, darling?”, you asked the vampire and grabbed one of his hands as you tried to steady yourself mentally as well as physically to keep going. You surely had seen much worse on your adventures and wouldn’t be intimidated by some rich assholes getting some of what they deserved.
Astarion simply bowed gracefully and motioned towards the stairs leading to the next level of the manor. There was still a bit of worry in his eyes but he knew full well there was no use in arguing with you when you had already decided to keep going.
You went up the stairs as your descent into the depths was only just beginning.
The two of you ventured deeper into the mansion and quickly realised that the place was genuinely a maze. The rooms were smaller here, darker too and more quiet – but the mood was by no means less frivolous or extravagant. Quite to the contrary. The further and deeper you wandered into this estate the more derailed it seemed to get.
You could barely describe a difference between different chambers now though – there were too many. By leaving one and entering the next you’d already forgotten what it had looked like, merely remembering whatever it had been that was happening in there.
Starting off still quite normally was a room in which people danced intimately to the music of a smooth and rather quiet string quartet – some half-naked sole dancers in between them twirling on their own and seemingly cheering on the other guests to loosen up even more.
In another chamber only lit by candles on the floor a tiefling pianist played an affectingly sad sonata while an elven woman in only a thin white dress was laying atop the grand piano and kept reaching out her hands to the artist. Streaks of black from her displaced makeup covered her cheeks. All around people sat on the floor and wept with her as the sad melody went on seemingly forever.
In a very busy and bustling room round tables stood all around and people were gambling with dice and cards. People screamed as much in joy for a stroke of luck as in rage over a lost hand. They moaned for a fortune lost or a high-brow risk that was taken. Gold was stacked high on every table, on some even jewels and pieces of paper that probably were worth much more than any other stack of physical fortune. Hands full of rings clawed into the shoulders of players and you even saw one woman slap her partner as he burrowed his face in his hands after he revealed what must’ve been a majorly losing hand. The woman left in a rush as the man’s opponent laughed and slapped his fist onto the table making the glasses on it jump.
Somewhere else guests were quite obviously high out of their mind laying around on the floor and the furniture while thick and sickly-sweet smoke filled up the whole room and made you both almost immediately cough. Someone was brabbling to themselves in a corner, someone else laughing like they had gone mad while clawing at their clothes.
“Dreammist”, Astarion whispered silently, nose scrunching up, and he quickly dragged you out of the room.
You came across so much more unimaginable sinful debauchery and manifestations of dark urges you were soon lost for words to describe them: almost everywhere in the darkest corners people were getting it on. Really no one seemed not drunk or high out of their mind.
And servants still kept offering more drinks – and even the staff seemed more derailed here: some of them barely clothed anymore. And you were sure at least once you saw someone wearing uniform making out with guests too – not that you were to judge anyone.
Then there even had been someone rooms you hadn’t even wanted or dared to venture into – like the one where you had been sure you’d heard the growls of a large animal that surely did not belong inside a house or anywhere close to a city or when you had walked past a partly closed door from which only breathy moans and cries had come from (“Well, I guess we know what that room is for”, had been Astarion’s sole comment on that). Some areas were locked – surely the lord of the estate must not want to have someone barf on his correspondence on accident in his study or enjoy the comfort of their lover’s arms in his own private bed.
But what you had found interesting and entertaining at first had changed into more of a feeling of uneasiness and you had grabbed Astarion’s hand harder as you had continued your descent into the more and more unhinged circles of this event.
As you came to a place where a poet was reciting his dark and haunting works while being covered in what you could only hope was fake blood and his audience hung on his every word you took a break from your wandering. At least here felt reasonably normal enough to catch a breather. You looked at your soulmate and noticed how Astarion’s gaze was always cautiously observing everyone. He did not seem shocked by all of this and of course he’d made quite some of his usual suggestive comments as you had ventured forth, but you could feel the tension beneath it. Also, you had noticed how he had always been impossibly close to you the further you had gone, sometimes even protectively putting an arm around your shoulders and without words insisting on quickly leaving a chamber.
Like the one where an incubus who wasn’t even hiding his true nature had been fed fruit by admirers – of all ages, genders and races - sitting all around him, desperate to be the one offering the next piece, their hands wandering everywhere over his nearly naked body while he commanded them with a single word or a flick of his hand. From the moment on the two of you had entered the room his eyes had been boring into you, his pointy tail swishing around playfully as he took you in first. His gaze wandering up and down your body slowly, making you feel exposed. His eyes lingering especially long on your neckline before Astarion got the same treatment.
“Well, aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes?”, he spoke to you with a smooth deep voice. “Care to join?”, he continued with a grin and with one wave of his hand commanding everyone around him to get off him. The demon was really only clad in some leather pants that very prominently showed off the bulge between his legs he had started stroking as he had kept his eyes on you and Astarion. “I could make it worth your while, I promise”, he had murmured while he angled his head and licked over his pointy bared teeth.
The whole encounter had reminded you way too much of your meeting with Haarlep and how incredibly unsettling it had been to deal not only with him but Raphael too. Fair to say you’ve had your fair share of devils and demons for a while now.
“Sorry”, Astarion had responded nonchalantly with his usual smirk although you could feel that underneath he was as tense as a bow string. “I really already have my hands full with just this feisty one.” He patted your butt softly.
And you had turned to him and stared at him in disbelief while he had grinned at the incubus as if he was merely talking to just some normal guy. “I did not just hear you call me feisty in this situation, Astarion?” You slapped his chest – quite forcefully.
The demon gave a low and rumbly chuckle. “I see”, he had said and with a snap his admirers had returned to roam his body with their hands. “But if you ever change your mind…” He had left the sentence unfinished, his gaze again boring into you until you felt almost stripped naked in front of him and Astarion had protectively placed his hand on your shoulder and quickly led you out of the room.
So now you stood in the back of another dimly lit room and listened to this poet theatrically presenting some of his poems: “The moaning and the groaning, The sighing and the sobbing, Are quieted now, With that horrible throbbing.” He enunciated every word carefully, his tone and conduct underlining the meaning of his words – it was quite a thing to watch and listen to.
People sat and stood around the artist in a half circle, the performance area marked by some small cold, bright mage lights that were the only light source in this room. The sharp illumination from below then made the performance of the poet even more ghostly.
Astarion and you were both leaning against the wall in the back, observing the show in companiable silence.
A servant came buy offering you brightly green drinks in small crystal flutes – the colour of the beverage even visible in the pale and broken lighting in the back where you stood. You grabbed one for yourself and one for Astarion, feeling that you could use some more buzz to keep up with everything you had seen and experienced.
But Astarion quickly grabbed the glasses from you before you could take a sip. “Ah ah ah”, he made and gave them a quick whiff. And only then did he hand you back a glass.
“What was that about?”, you asked him softly as the pale elf took a small sip from the narrow glass.
“Do you know what this is?”
“Should I?” You eyed the drink suspiciously now – the colour suddenly looked a little too much like something that might put you in a coma; or worse. Suddenly you weren’t so keen on trying it anymore.
Astarion snickered and took another sip.
“This is Absinth or green fairy as some call it.” He rolled his eyes at the expression before he continued: “A drink that was hugely popular like a century ago – mostly with artists, poets and musicians. And one would assume that was because it was quite often enriched with hallucinogenic drugs.” Your eyes widened at the vampire.
“And I don’t think you’d like to lose control and start seeing even more things, eh? Not tonight and not in this place at least”, he continued. And you sure as all Hells agreed. “This is fine though, it’s just alcohol – although you’ll probably find it still packs quite the punch”, Astarion finished and gave a little laugh.
Cautiously you sniffed at your glass and felt how it immediately singed your nose. “Dear Gods”, you whispered. You surely had had your fair share of really bad alcoholic drinks in your life – living as a thief and on the streets most definitely did not come with lots of fancy champagne. But this really was something else.
So you went with what you had learnt was the most efficient way of getting stuff like this down: you took a deep breath, held it and then threw the drink back in one single go. You felt it burn down your throat and immediately find its way into your nose too. You shuddered, groaned and were sure you could almost immediately feel its effects.
Astarion looked at you with a mix of disgust, worry and admiration on his face. “Impressive”, he commented and took another tiny sip of his drink.
“Thanks, played a lot of horrific drinking games when I was younger”, you replied as you pinched your nose to soothe the burning there and couldn’t suppress another full body shiver.
“Well, remind me to never try to drink you under a table”, Astarion quipped and finished his Absinth.
You put your empty glasses onto a tray of a bypassing servant and each grabbed one more drink. You downed yours again in one single movement and watched and laughed as Astarion tried to do the same but almost started to cough because of the sheer amount of burning liquid that went down his throat. And you kept laughing as Astarion mumbled something about being “too old for this kind of shit” under his breath.
Right then you could really feel a pleasant and soothing buzz settling in. You leaned your head back again and watched as Astarion did the same: the way his eyes rolled to catch yours being just a tad slower than normal and making you think that he was probably feeling the same effects of the alcohol setting in. You concentrated on the performance again.
The poet was on his knees now, screaming his lines and hitting the hardwood floor with his fists: “So that her high-born kinsmen came And bore her away from me, To shut her up, in a sepulchre, In this kingdom by the sea.”
He’d already broken the skin on his hands and blood splattered around him. And you suddenly weren’t as sure anymore that the other blood on him wasn’t real.
You turned to watch Astarion as he observed the performance – he seemed not quite super interested but not completely oblivious as well.
And maybe it was the alcohol, but you just kept drinking in the vampire’s profile with your eyes right then and there. And unlike the drinks you took your time with it. Watched how his lips moved when he rolled the tongue in his move. Saw how his Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed. Observed how a muscle in his jaw ticked and his eyebrow twitched.
His features were illuminated by the few light sources in the room – just the mage lights in the front: his straight aristocratic nose, his soft lips, the soft lines around the corner of his mouths and around his eyes that deepened when he smirked at you, one soft curl falling onto his forehead and his eyes that more often than not lingered on you. You could get lost in his features every time you looked at him.
And obviously you had when you realised, Astarion had been looking at you out of the corners of his eyes without turning his head. He’d let you stare on purpose – sly bastard.
“Like what you see?”, he drawled.
You huffed and watched the poet again who was momentarily clawing at his own throat: “The light of Life is o’er! No more – no more – no more – “. Some of the audience had now even joined him in his cries of anguish.
“You still need confirmation?”, you asked, your eyes still on the dramatic show unfurling.
“I’ll never get enough of you saying it, darling.”
With your head still on the wall you turned to Astarion again. He mirrored you, eyes watching you as intently now as he’d been watching everyone around priorly.
“You’re the most beautiful creature the Gods have ever created, Astarion. My life has become more just by you being in it. I’d rather die and bury myself in the darkest dungeon than waste a moment of my life not being with you”, you whispered confidently.
Your vampire’s lips parted at your confession and his pupils widened until they almost blotted out the red in his eyes: “My love, it’s rude to try and upstage the artist with your own show of poetry.”
You laughed at that – this was the second time he’d called you a poet tonight. “Well, my muse is just that inspirational. I can’t help it.”
“Maybe it was the Absinthe after all though”, Astarion whispered, lowering his head and looking at you through his lashes almost.
“Maybe you should just shut up”, you whispered back and grabbed his face then. Crushing your lips onto his and immediately slipping your tongue into his mouth as soon as he allowed it. You crept closer to him, one hand clawed into the front of his doublet. Astarion moaned into your open mouth as you thought that this place and this atmosphere was finally getting the best of you.
In this moment you were more than ready to become one of those other couples you had seen everywhere before: naughtily rubbing yourself against your lover, stealing more and more kisses – and maybe even more.
But the vampire broke the kiss sometime after you had pressed your body against his. “Later, my love. I won’t share you with anyone else. Even if it’s only looks”, he whispered to you huskily, still so close his breath brushed over your face. He smirked at you though, his eyes promising rewards later on if you behaved now.
“Fair enough – because I don’t want to share either”, you replied with a wicked grin and leaned back against the wall again. Maybe the second ‘green fairy’ had almost been too much. Astarion kept staring at you though, obviously enjoying it way too much when you became almost feral for him. You let him sit with his own fantasies for the time being.
As you tried to cool the rising heat in you, you thought about the evening so far. Never had you imagined that this would be it. Lots of alcohol and sinful behaviour? Yes. Excess and careless display of unjustified wealth? Yes. But this had went far beyond your wildest expectations. You thought about what you had come across so far – the incubus, the siren, but even more: the people completely out of their minds – be it drugs or lust or other dark urges.
“You don’t seem fazed by all this”, you said to Astarion after a while, one hand lazily indicating all of the festivities.
“No, not really”, he answered. “You wouldn’t believe how quickly ‘nobles’ lose all sense of dignity if presented with the chance. I’ve seen it happen way too often during Cazador’s festivities.” He rolled his eyes and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.
“Yes, but…”, you were lost for words. “This is different than what I thought. I’ve been drunk out of my mind before. But this… Seems like something people go into and might not come out of on the other side.”
The vampire shrugged. “You’re not wrong, my love. But for most it is just some hours lost, maybe a good amount of gold and most of their dignity. And then they eat up their shame and come back for another round. And yes, there are those that lose themselves to their hungers – be it lust, be it greed or something else. But I can assure you it’s mostly those that have already been rotten.”
He almost spat out the last words, the corners of his mouth drawn down as he kept watching the poet’s performance. His red eyes far away though, obviously thinking of countless memories proving his point. As much as you wanted to agree with Astarion a tiny shred of you couldn’t help but feel sorry for these people.
Then you remembered dog lady and her friends – and your sympathy quickly vanished.
“Although I have to admit this is quite the impressive display and variety of offered sins, this must’ve cost a kingdom – and maybe a soul or two”, Astarion said after some time and gave a chuckle.
“And”, he continued and turned to you while dramatically lifting an eyebrow, “have you noticed that there were some vampires about? Just spawns though – probably looking for some easy prey.”
That surely sobered you up quickly. You lifted your head off the wall: “What?”
Astarion’s face split into a feral grin: “Yes of course – I spotted some right when we entered the ballroom. And more when we kept wandering around.”
You stared at him with an open mouth: “You can’t be serious! And you only tell me this now?”
“It’s not like it’s unusual, my sweet. You’d be surprised how heavily undermined Baldur’s Gate’s – or probably every metropolis’ – high society is with bloodsuckers – and I mean the literal ones for once. Might just be that their master has tasked them with bringing some dinner home”, Astarion continued and gave one of his high-pitched chuckles.
You could barely believe your ears. “And do you think they’ve noticed you as well?”
“Most likely, my dear, but it’s usually a gentleman’s agreement to keep quiet about it, so hush, my heart”, he said and switched to a whisper halfway through. He lifted a single long finger to his lips and shushed. Right now, you weren’t sure if he might be starting to actually be drunk or if he actually was serious.
“You’d be surprised how often you might’ve come across a vampire without even noticing, my sweet. Not everyone’s as open about it as me” – he grinned, showing his fangs – “and surely these are not the only wolves among this herd of sheep tonight”, he finished.
You kept looking at your vampire and swallowed heavily, unsure of what to say about his ominous words. You surely would have noticed if you had come across a vampire before – right?
“Oh, don’t make that face, my love, you have me to keep you protected, don’t you?”, Astarion continued and suddenly sounded a lot more serious again. He wrapped an arm around your waist and drew you close to him, then he grabbed one of your hands and placed it on his chest.
“I promise you, my darling love, anyone who dares to hurt you will have my dagger stuck in their throat faster than they’ll think better of it.” His crimson eyes lit up with the promise as he solemnly made his vow to you. He covered your hand on his chest with his own and sealed the deal with a kiss that was even more eager and passionate than his words.
Tags: @aurasyn @margoteve @usuallyunlikelyfox @hollowmasque @worryknotdear
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madarasgirl · 8 months
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A Night for Hunting Ch.7- Fear
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T/W: 18+, Alucard (Ultimate) x F!Reader, memory loss, horror, violence, gore, angry feral vampire, comfort, eventual romance Words: 5066 On AO3
I'm back! This chapter taught me that I have a long way to go as an amateur hobby writer! Action scenes are hard. Hope you enjoy anyways!
You thought about him on your stroll home after dinner, that vampire that hid in shadows, that delighted you with an adorable colony of furry bats, yet who could also summon a writhing sea of vile centipedes. He terrorized you endlessly and was the cause of many sleepless nights. He was like a tempest that upended everything in his path, leaving destruction in his wake, though his majesty was breathtaking. He made you beyond angry. 
But then he unexpectedly took care of you that time when you were drunk and alone. The way he looked at you when he wasn't being an infuriating ass hat…he also physically threatened you the last time you met.
He scared and confused you. 
To your chagrin, your thoughts lingered on him, and the longer they did, the more conflicted you felt. Several weeks later, he still hadn’t visited. Part of you was glad he was finally gone for good. Another part of you had gotten somewhat used to the routine of entertaining this uninvited guest and his extended absence was beyond odd. Yet you would also be unsure about seeing him again after the way you parted last time. 
You were right. All you needed to do was endure him until you earned your freedom. It was about time he got bored and moved onto his next victim.
--------------------
A breathy moan rang out from around the corner and you got ready to dodge the careless person who was right there as you rounded the corner.
Holy shit.
They were a corpse, their skin was sloughing off, hollowed eyes glowed with a ghostly violet light. You cried out in shock and stumbled back at the last moment as the thing's arms reached out for you.
What is this new devilry?
Your head pounded, but now wasn't the time for a migraine. You jerked your shoulder back again to avoid its flailing grasp. Its fingers looked like shrivelled sausages where dried up leathery skin was pulled taut over knobby bone.
Multiple people have disappeared after dark in London over the past months –by the popular tourist attraction Tower Bridge, at an abandoned factory, and even in Soho. The sirens of emergency vehicles have been much more frequent lately. The news reports of recent mysterious occurrences you once dismissed as irrelevant freak incidences slowly gained salience. 
Haaaa. Haaaaaaa.
Your skin crawled at the raspy breathing and you took off at a sprint. The slobbering zombie followed at a fixed pace and the stench of gangrene hit you. The walls blocking off suppressed memories were peeling back layer by layer to unveil the obscure truth within. That disgusting smell of rot…triggered the forgotten experience of being tailed by a homeless woman, who walked with an unnatural jerking stumble according to the tempo of a metronome. Her face was grey and she might as well have been dead. Your heart clenched with remembrance. What were these memories? They were yours? 
You ran blindly in terror-stricken confusion with the wind in your face, taking numerous turns before finally fleeing down a flight of stairs lined with trees while slapping away the offending branches that were in the way. 
You were hastily running through a park, the one where Alucard last chased you through, where the foliage became shapes of shadow that took on a demonic life of their own.
The soft murmur of flowing water whispered into the night. The lifeblood of London glided solemnly through its path, indifferent to the woes of the people who inhabited its banks. Oh no, you inadvertently came to the Thames River. 
You gasped for breath. Historic buildings painted the river’s face in sparkling gold streaks, the image of the capital city at night reflecting radiantly on the calm surface. It was awe-inspiring. And completely at odds with how you were feeling at the moment. If you weren’t this rattled, you would have paused to marvel at the sight where the beauty of nature met the sophistication of man-made architecture.
The fetor of decay invaded your senses once more. Calm down. Tower Bridge wasn’t too distant, but this was in the heart of a tourist area. On a Friday night, it should be bustling. And there was no way you could be that unlucky.
The riverside wasn’t deserted, but it was hardly bustling either. Where were all the people?
Glancing behind to confirm that the thing earlier hadn't caught up yet, you turned to go home, only to walk directly into a solid chest. You yelped, having completely missed this person’s presence. For a moment you panicked. It was impossible for that fumbling zombie to arrive here so quickly! You looked up and breathed a sigh of relief. It was just a normal man.
“A-apologies. I wasn’t looking where I was going. E-excuse me,” you stuttered, your eyes were wide and you looked away.
The man raised a brow and smirked. 
“There is no issue, Miss,” he told you with a sweet voice and gave you a quick once-over. “But if you’d like to express your sincerity, allow me to take you out for a drink tonight.” 
“I…that’s not a good idea. I need to go, I apologize.” You were skittish and checked behind you again. There wasn’t anyone else except another couple by the riverbank watching the lights.
An iron fist gripped your wrist and you went cold at the glacial touch. “I insist, Miss. Please allow me to show you an excellent night.” His leer turned cocky, revealing a razor sharp grin. You stared in disbelief. 
Attempts to pull your hand back were in vain. Unwanted fingers flitted across the palm of your hand and he sighed, “You are very warm. I was hoping you would share some of it with me…” Your skin crawled from his touch and goosebumps formed from the seeping chill. Everything about this was wrong.
…Vampire…the word tickled the back of your mind.
Your head went into overdrive to think of a way to escape your predicament. If you were right, the ‘man’ was much stronger and faster than you. He can see and smell better than you as well. What could you do when you were completely outclassed?
You started shaking. This experience was way too familiar. Not again! You stared at him in anguish, frozen to your spot when you came up with a blank.
“I-I’m sorry sir, I don’t drink!” You whispered weakly, hoping against all odds he would let you go.
His lips curled and he took a step closer well into your space. “...Unless you believe yourself too good for me?”
You inched away despite being unable to break free and thought about screaming for help before stopping yourself. Piece by piece, the puzzle was falling into place –the mind conjured up an image of red-rimmed shadows digging into a body’s crevices, snapping bones and ripping up its limbs in a dark alleyway.
If this man was the same, you doubted any human interventions would be of assistance to you. You were completely, utterly screwed.
“Is this man bothering you?” The two women who were holding hands by the river came closer with a frown, one of them with a hand on her phone looking like she was about to call for help.
No…don’t get involved…You thought helplessly.
“Tch. You two aren’t my type. What’s this?”
–A severed forearm holding a smartphone dangled from his other hand. The phone dropped from the lifeless hand, its screen shattering upon impact with the pavement.
“AHHHHHHH!!!!!” One of the two women howled in agony as blood erupted from the stub where her arm was moments ago. 
“Hahaha. Shh…quiet down bitch, or else you might summon the ghouls.” He let go of you and faster than any of you saw, the next thing he ripped out of the unfortunate woman was her throat. You will never forget the scene. Even years later this night will come to haunt you. 
With her remaining hand, the woman held the gaping hole in her neck where jagged wisps of flesh still held on like chicken skin. She was in shock, as were all of you. Surprisingly, she wasn’t instantly dead. For several seconds, she remained standing while blood shot out in pulsing squirts. All too soon, it was like someone turned on the faucet at full blast. Her forcibly severed carotids exsanguinated, multiple ropes of blood exploded out of her throat for only another couple seconds until she collapsed on the ground with a gut-wrenching gargle as her life essence continued to empty from her vessels in powerful jets. 
The thick pool spread beneath her rapidly. It sprayed everywhere. It painted your face and filled your mouth with copper as you looked on in horror. It dumped into her open windpipe and she drowned at the same time as she hemorrhaged. The gargling was the same…as that time. You remembered now. Not long ago, you witnessed someone else drowning in their own blood beneath a monster of lore.
This monster revelled in the pandemonium and smacked his lips. “AB+ is my favourite blood type, did you know that? Much more flavour.” You weren’t sure if he was asking you.
Already drenched from head-to-toe, her girlfriend wailed with a hand pressed to her mouth. “AHHHHHH!!!!” 
“Gah, shut up, will you? She’ll be back soon enough and you can join her.” The vampire bore a sadistic smile framed by wicked teeth. He thoroughly relished killing some helpless woman.
No…
He spun around to face the second woman who remained bolted in place staring at her now-dead lover twitching on the ground. He strutted towards her.
You had to leave. Closing your eyes in guilt briefly, you knew you had to go now. There was nothing you could do to save the other woman, if you could even help yourself. When your eyes opened a mere moment later, she was already dead. Her mangled body hit the ground with a thud. Too fast. You couldn’t keep up with the pace of everything that was happening. One foot inched backward, then your other foot followed the first.
“You still aren’t interested in sharing a drink with me, love? They weren’t my type, but you are. I’ll be nice to you, I promise.” His voice travelled and reached your ears. What a twisted joke.
With a breathless wheeze, you rushed from the nightmare in front of you. All you ever did was run, but you knew there was no way you were getting away this time. Tears of desperation fell down your cheeks. 
Golden lights streaked by in the periphery of your vision in a blur. There was no comfort in the beauty of the Thames. London was your home, but for all its old-world elegance, it was as callous and uncaring of its inhabitants as the river this city depended upon. This city will offer you no aid. No, two people just died trying to help, but what can anyone do in this situation?
From beneath your consciousness it bubbled up –a flash of the floating sensation on a night you fell asleep to a familiar purr while warm golden orange orbs kept vigil as you faded away. Your eyes widened in recognition. It was too late now to do anything with the truth.
I'm scared…Alucard…
"Smells like a terrified bitch." He already caught up and took a deep whiff of the air. Red eyes regarded you with a sinister gleam while you sobbed. You stared at the monster with frantic, despairing eyes, wondering how exactly you will be meeting your end. “That’s an excellent expression!” The vampire snickered as he cracked a knuckle.
You twisted around him and kept going back the way you came from. He chuckled, wearing a demented expression baring two rows of spiked teeth. This was too much like old times. You never escaped Alucard until he decided to allow you to leave. There is no reason this will be any different, but you will try until your body gives out.
Two figures stumbled towards you up ahead. You wanted to warn them to run too, that they were in mortal danger, but the breath wasn’t available.
They were wearing the same clothing as the two women earlier. They were the two women earlier. One was missing an arm and her throat, the other’s head was split open, dripping brain matter on the ground. Her chest cavity gaped through dismantled ribs.
What in the world was going on?! 
You heaved with over-exertion and managed to skid to a stop well before you ran into them. Zombies. You were literally looking at the walking dead. Somehow, the vampire did this?! 
You were so stupid. Why did you come back this way? Even if the two ladies stayed down, there was still the one chasing you from before. Three zombies blocked the way up ahead while you were trapped down by the river with no way back up its bank without access to the stairs.
You whipped around at the guffawing murderer. There were now dozens of undead behind him. They hobbled around in an identical manner as the ones you met previously, with arms out, their corpses at various stages of decomposition. You were surrounded by a whole den of zombies. 
As if you were just going to give yourself over to your fate. 
You panted as your eyes darted about. The creatures closed the last gap in the circle around you. Tears turned your vision into a blurry mirage. There was nowhere left to go, but even if you were brutalized and died screaming, even if you didn't know how to fight, you were going to resist them, no matter how useless it was.
“Did you know that power is both a blessing and a curse? I can do stuff like this now,” he decapitated one of his undead companions and you flinched. “Yet the ladies never seem to favour me until they are my pets.”
He studied the blood trickling down his fingers, pressing his thumb and middle digit together before pulling them apart. He bursted out in laughter. “I’ll be very good to you when you become my pet, even if you’re an unappreciative whore.”
--------------------
The surroundings exploded and you squealed in fright. It was suddenly bedlam. The menacing figure draped in crimson stood with his back to you. A massive firearm pointed out to his side and he snarled, the tails of his coat rippling as if they were immaterial tassels. You knew him immediately. 
Alucard!
The clash evolved into a symphony of horror. It was almost like you were in a shooter game with him, except he never missed. One after the other, zombie heads became popping balloons, spilling more gore in a splatter of blood and brains. Each shot exploded and left a hollow in the stone wall behind the felled zombie. After the heads were gone, he shot the corpses more for good measure. Arms, legs, bodies, nothing was spared. But he never missed the mark.
You were deaf from the gunshots. As your ears rang, all you saw was the butchery of Alucard unleashed for the first time. He spun and his guns went pointing in every direction. He was a tempest, the eye in a storm of flying iron and carnage. It seemed like even those monsters couldn’t react in time. Bodies fell at his feet in pieces. The squelching sounded like when you blended your minced meats with spice and seasoning by hand. He cackled again with glee, a glint of madness in the glimpse you caught of his visage.
He resembled the time you were reunited after you moved to this part of London. His demeanor screamed of bloodlust. This was a massacre.
You flinched and covered your head when a shot found its mark closer to you and pieces of a crumbling wall scattered nearby. Forked shadow tendrils formed a barrier encircling you that pulsed with dense, arcane power. Nothing got past it. Not zombies, bullets, nor fragmented stone.
“A sorry excuse for a vampire. What will you do now that your ghouls are dead and your weapons empty?” That was Alucard? His voice was guttural and nearly unrecognizable.
“W-what are you? You m-monster!” The other vampire sounded miserable.
“That is correct,” You heard the smile in Alucard’s voice. “I’m a monster. Where are your familiars? Turn into bats or mist! Fight me like a real vampire!" He boomed.
…"Tch. Pathetic. You do not even know what you are."
Too bad Alucard’s shadow didn’t shield you from sound. Your ears weren’t working properly. The buzz was getting louder and it was difficult to hear anything else despite straining. That might as well have been a watermelon crunching. Your eyes fell shut.
-------------------- Alucard saw red. The scent of blood suddenly blossomed in the air earlier. It was miles away, but it was so pungent and strong, the odour travelled far. He rushed to investigate the occurrence, only to discover the unmistakable stench of ghouls and a lone vampire that was ubiquitous in this area once he was close enough. And then he caught the overwhelming scent of your fear. He hoped he’d make it.
--------------------
He was on one knee in front of you with his head bowed when you braved peeking out again. Something was squashed under his hand, which took a moment to work out what it was. It was what was left of that vampire’s detached head, flattened into paste on the ground with splinters of skull coming through around a mush of brain. The rest of the body convulsed off to the side before he shot it without needing to look. Right in the heart.
You winced at the bang as bile came up and filled your mouth. You retched up the remains of a half-digested meal of ramen and broth. The festering flesh and your puke, as well as the thick metallic flavour, breached your nose. It stank like putrefying meat soaked in foul blood that should be crawling with maggots. You threw up again. 
The dead vampire’s blood seeped through the cracks in the pavement and trickled towards you, causing you to crawl back against a tree and gaze around. Everywhere you looked, body parts were strewn about. Who even knew which leg belonged to which body. There were no longer identifiable heads, only viscous pools of liquefied matter that oozed from the source body stumps. Some of that stuff dribbled from the leaves of an ash tree.
A wretched whine you didn’t recognize as your own crept from your throat and you hurled yet again. Your hand landed in the puddle of vomit as you bent over for your stomach to turn itself inside out.
You lifted a tearful gaze. Through midnight bangs, a pair of blood-red eyes watched you with an unworldly blaze. You whimpered.
--------------------
Aggression and the thirst for more violence thrummed through his undead veins, but there was unfortunately no one left to take it out on. The feeling of possessiveness left him berserk. How dare anyone else touch you. How dare anyone frighten you. How dare anyone threaten you.
Your distress saturated the air. He scented the other vampire on you and growled low.
He was this close to letting you get hurt. This close to losing you. The vampire king reached for you.
“!!!” You gasped in terror and pressed against the stone wall at the craze and blood thirst in his eyes, the breathy intake morphing into a fearful squeak at the sight of organic matter dripping from the hand that approached.
The tang of your fear tainted the air even more heavily, so thick it could probably be cut with a knife. Alucard recoiled as if you struck him. 
"You are afraid of me?" He whispered, drawing back from the discovery. 
He came back to himself and realized how he must appear to you. Like a bloody murderous monster dripping in the viscera of his foe. It took all his control, but he calmed himself. Irises swirled from raging crimson into a familiar orangey-gold.
Alucard was confused, he gleaned no pleasure from your terror. He strangely found he didn't want it anymore as he took in the sight of you cowering from him with your limbs drawn up tightly against your body. Even your small sandaled toes curled away from him. 
He said your name softly. No response. “Little one?”
Your lips pressed together and you clenched your eyes, shrinking further from him.
Alucard had been away from London for several weeks on a mission for his master Integra, which culminated in an assignment out-of-country. He almost didn’t make it back in time to rescue you from the ghouls and vampire.
"I will not harm you little one. That has not changed."
You stayed huddled against the wall in the fetal position, your gaze distant as you stared blankly at the soaked ground. Alucard couldn’t pick out any coherent thoughts from your head right now, only the unadulterated fear that was absolute and all-encompassing.
You couldn’t move or object as he bent down to pick you from the ground, taking care to cradle you in a comfortable position. He took off for your home.
-------------------- Alucard arrived on your balcony. Both of you were soiled and covered in filth, yet the balcony was no place to remain. He quickly considered his options before opening the latch with a thought and floated to the bathroom. He sat in the wide shower stall with you nestled into his chest.
…He was to report on the incident tonight as soon as possible, however…he watched your stiff posture and lack of expression. Alucard flipped open his phone and placed a call to Hellsing before putting it away after giving a concise report.
“Nest of ghouls and a vampire by Tower Bridge. Targets eliminated.” He hung up before the unfortunate sap who would relay his message to Integra could say a word.
He took another look at you and sighed. He detected no spilled blood of your own on your clothes, which was encouraging. He however didn’t know how to mend your other scars, besides wiping your memory clean again. It probably wasn’t something he should do repeatedly, especially with how traumatic this experience was. But if it will spare you this hell…
Your gaze tentatively crept up to his. Your pupils were fully dilated, your eyes so wide the whites were showing around the irises. The stench of fear permeated the air all over again and you made a tiny, shrill whine. You started quivering, then all at once, you collapsed into his arms, choking on your cries with your fingers tangled in his suit.
You were completely beside yourself in shock. Air came to you in lurching breaths you couldn’t control. Alucard remained still while you came apart, unsure of how to comfort you without utilizing his supernatural abilities.
“Ahhhhh…” You moaned softly, piteously. And still you sobbed, sending wave upon wave of your confusion and panic to wash over the vampire king’s senses. His hand drifted up with hesitation. It hung in the air behind you.
Again you looked up at him frantically, desperately beseeching him for something. Your fists tightened in his lapels. The tears dripped non-stop, leaving clear tracks over your blood-stained face.
“Ahhhh…” Your voice was so small. You were small sitting there helplessly in his lap. Your face landed in his chest, smearing putrid filth over yourself, but you were uncaring of your state of cleanliness. Your hands shook as they gripped their anchor with need. You were safe now, you somehow knew this, but everything that happened was too much to bear. You couldn’t just get over what transpired tonight. You needed…
A cool, bare hand landed lightly around the back of your head, bringing you back to the reality that you were alive. Another arm draped over your shoulders gingerly.
Your loose limbs spasmed against a solid frame that surrounded you. It remained steady no matter how much you quaked. Its sturdiness became the only thing that was definitive, the only thing you were certain you could depend on to hold you up and not harm you. 
You held on tightly to your lifeline.
-------------------- It felt wrong to touch you with his soiled hands even though both of you were stained from top to bottom. He figured it wouldn't make a difference, but he removed his bloodied gloves before making contact with you.
Then he sat with you for hours until your tears stopped. Eventually the sharp draws of air evened out as well and you were able to form words once more.
"Oh God, what did I see tonight?" 
"It's no use praying to God, my Dear, He will not offer salvation. But I will do what I can for you," Alucard muttered, feeling subdued now that your cries finally died down.
“What were those things?” You whispered.
“...The things that chased you were ghouls, the undead spawn of the lone vampire who set his sights on you.” He was hesitant to tell you much more. You were a creature of the day, a daughter of sunlight, and wholly unsuited for the violent way of life at Hellsing.
After tonight, you felt you shouldn’t even be surprised anymore at finding out that not only vampires, but other damned creatures of fable also existed. The obvious question of whether Alucard can create ghouls as well didn’t cross your mind.
“Are they common? Ghouls and vampires?”
How much should he tell you? His lips flattened. After your admirable show of strength tonight, where despite the hopelessness of your hellish situation, you remained steadfast and never gave yourself up…he supposed you deserved some answers.
“You will not encounter them every night, but they are more common than you assume. Lately they have been more numerous than in past times, but they have been exterminated from your old neighbourhood.”
The night is dark and full of terror.
Understanding unravelled over the course of this night like the queen of the night’s bud in bloom. Your prior encounters with this vampire were not as random as they had seemed. Everything suddenly made sense.
“You said you were employed…what do you do?” The silence stretched out, but you had to hear it for yourself.
Molten pools of lava flashed. “I hunt vampires and ghouls.”
Everything now made sense, but the revelation that dawned tonight still shocked you, especially after what had passed. You studied his face curiously, your voice now hoarse… “All this time…you were protecting me from the shadows?”
“...” The liquid pools continued to twirl lazily as this vampire studied you quietly.
"Alucard, I-" 
You were quaking again. You threw your arms around him and buried your face in his chest in relief. In spite of everything he did to you, by some miraculous stroke of luck tonight, you were alive, all thanks to Alucard. “Thank you,” you told him with heartfelt sincerity.
His eyes narrowed. The Nosferatu was not an altruistic being. Your gratitude was undeserved. You were right –he was selfish. You told him clearly that you wished for no further involvement with him, yet he didn't want to stay away. 
He had dedicated abundant time to patrolling your former neighbourhood. Ghouls and lesser vampires were non-existent these days in your old area as a result of his efforts. After your move to the other side of London, Alucard had to make nightly hunting trips to pave the way for your safety. 
He visited you on multiple occasions. One recent night, he had to dispose of a ghoul and vampire that stalked you. As he stood on your balcony to check on you after the fact, you tried fruitlessly to sleep, your fear so biting, he could taste it outside from the balcony. 
Somehow it was wrong to him. He enjoyed your fear for the better part of the year, but for you to fear for your life when nasty ghouls and lesser vampires hunted you, it wasn’t the same as when he did it. 
He growled, the unpleasant sense of having his territory encroached on pervaded. No one else was permitted to make you feel that way. He worried about what would have happened to you if he hadn’t arrived when he did tonight. It was why he dedicated so much time to following you home these last months.
Alucard shifted to move you from his lap, but you tightened your grip on his back. "No! Don't go!” Your words surprised you. “...Please don’t leave me alone tonight." 
The vampire was tense. His first instinct was to remove himself, to self-extricate from this baffling experience. Instead, he tentatively wrapped an arm around your side while you eased back into his chest. He was confused from the mixture of your emotions roiling through his sinuses. You felt good in his arms, and he was somewhat pleased with you seeking comfort from him, but you remained frightened. After the battle, he was disoriented to find he still no longer relished your fear. 
He put another hand behind your head to massage your scalp gently. This felt right. For the first time ever in memory, you trusted him. How strange it was to be needed by another person for something that didn’t involve putting a bullet in someone's head. Such an alien experience.
Time passed late into the night. 
Eventually, you sat up in his lap with your body away from his as you stared at each other. The showerhead let loose a drop of water from its nozzle.
Drip.
Alucard backed you against the wall and bent down to claim your lips, to make sure for himself you were unharmed and safe with him. You must have been entranced too. Or possessed, whatever. But your initial instinct wasn’t to flee from this vampire.
Your vision landed on the specks of gore marring his attractive face. Sharp fangs peeked out from behind smooth lips. An image of that twisted monster who promised to do horrid things to you reappeared. He too had dagger-like canines like Alucard’s.
Before your lips met, your eyes widened and your breath hitched, and finally, you shied away from him. He let you go, brushing off the tinge of disappointment. 
Much had happened tonight.
He may be a trigger-happy killer, but he can be a patient beast too. 
~To be Continued~
Next Chapter: The Currency of the Soul
Notes: Yes this whole time in Alucard’s mind, his creepy stalking was just his way of protecting us from the other night critters he hunted during your rendezvous. He was just having some 'fun' with us while doing so.
He may still believe that what he's feeling is a mixture of obsession and possessiveness, but it's been more than that for awhile.
Now that some "misunderstandings" between us are cleared up and he's in better standing with us, the relationship with our favourite No Life King will escalate! I'm quite excited about the next few chapters!
The queen of the night is a cactus that blooms nocturnally for only one night. The flower is huge and very fragrant. It’s most commonly white and hence also called the “moonflower.” Because of its short flowering time, it is seen as a gentle reminder to cherish the important things in life because they may not last until tomorrow. In some cultures, getting to see this rare flower bloom is very lucky and considered a sacred experience. The queen of the night attracts pollinators such as bats and produces dragon fruit.
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satureja13 · 2 months
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~ Chapter 24 ~
Home crappy Home
Where
the Ship brings Jack, Saiwa, Vlad and Jeb to their new crappy home in Otherworld's Tomarang
Ji Ho needs to be protected by Genji
Kiyoshi is still lost in the Tree
Jack finds healing at a strange Temple
Lady Demon claims Ji Ho for one of her clients
Jeb and Vlad leave the Otherworld to rescue Ji Ho and get lost
Ji Ho has to decide between Genji and Lady Demon's Client
they find out that Saiwa seems to be Kiyoshi's fated mate
Vlad's eyes get fixed - again
they travel incognito to Windenburg to do some research for Rubyn and spend the holidays there
Kiyoshi returns from the tree but he still acts like a tree
Ji Ho makes good progress with his Siren's Songs
Rubyn finally finds a solution on how to travel with the meteorites
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'Far over the misty mountains cold to dungeons deep and caverns old We must away, ere break of day to claim our long-forgotten gold Goblets they carved there for themselves and harps of gold, where no man delves There lay they long, and many a song was sung unheard by men or elves The pines were roaring on the heights the winds was moaning in the night The fire was red, it flaming spread the trees like torches blazed with light The bells were ringing in the dale and men looked up with faces pale The dragon's ire, more fierce than fire laid low their towers and houses frail'
The Misty Mountains Song from The Hobbit
Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28
From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest
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nonnieapple · 9 months
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🌩. . . w e l c o m e . . .🌩
🌧 n a v i g a t i o n:
☂ f a n f i c s:
⛈  a d v e n t u r e  t i m e 
 ☾”With Thorns And Honey” (Green Knight x demon reader) r: e    ☾(Oneshot) ☾"Siren Song" (Marshall Lee x reader) r: t ☾(Oneshot) ☾“Strings”  (Marshall Lee x reader) r: t ☾(Oneshot)
☾“Midnight Surf”  (Marshall Lee x reader) r: t ☾(Oneshot- follow up to "Strings")
☾"Blood" (Marshall Lee x reader) r: e ☾(Oneshot) ☁️  f i o n n a & c a k e
☾"Mall Emo, Mall Time, Mall Crime!" (human!Marshall Lee x reader) r: t ☾(Oneshot)
⛈ s i l e n t  h i l l / b d b
 ☾”Sin Of The Blade” (Pyramid Head x reader)(Ongoing) r: m     ☾ 13/20 chapters +Bonus
⛈ k a m i s a m a k i s s
   ☾  Peach Pit (Akura-ou x g/n reader x Tomoe) (Ongoing: weekly, Sundays) r: m ☾1- A Hanging Branch In A Garden's Home☾2- Hidden Underneath ☾3- A Rocky Heart For Breakin' Teeth ☾4- An Apple Core's Cyanide Seed ☾5- Long Season Through ☾6- All This Rotting Fruit ☾ 7- Lift Back And See The Darkness Hid ⛈ f u t u r a m a ☾
⛈  t h e  o w l  h o u s e
  ☾”Emperor’s New Clothes” (Emperor Belos x reader)(Ongoing) r: e    ☾1-”Like Gold Dust”      ☾2-”Gold Stars”
  ☾”Howling With The Wolves” (Emperor Belos x oc)(Ongoing) r: m      ☾1-“Between Dog And Wolf”     ☾2-“Life Of A Wolf”, part 1       ☾2-“Life Of A Wolf”, part 2
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     ★d r a b b l e s . . .
⛈ d i s e n c h a n t m e n t 
    ↳ “I’ve Bean There” (Queen Tiabeanie x reader) r: t      
⛈  a d v e n t u r e  t i m e
      | “Watermelon Face” (Marshall Lee x reader) r: t
↳ “Cold Comfort” (Marshall Lee x reader) r: g
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🌧 a b o u t:
  hey, i’m nonnie. anonapple on ao3, and quotev. he/him. fanfic writer when you’re not looking.  i have more wips than god has regrets.
🌧 r u l e s:
   • d n i if under 18. • d n i if exclusionist, general dickhead, etc. y’know the jam.  • if a fic is listed but not linked, it’s wip. longer works are on ao3 and the links are links to ao3. • ★ [a star] means drabble (shorter, less than 1K word oneshot).     ☂ [an umbrella] means fanfic (longer, over 1k words, oneshot or multiple parts).
🌧 r e q u e s t s:
• closed atm. if you have an idea (for a fic, or headcanon) related to marshall lee, prince gumball, marceline, simon petrikov, emperor belos, darius deamonne, bean, luci, satan, dagmar, akura-ou, tomoe, ryuo sukuna, send it in, i might reply or write a drabble. don’t send fucked up shit though.
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  ⛈  r a t i n g  s y s t e m:  a o 3
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anathemafiction · 2 years
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Game Patch is live!
I've sent HG the updated files, and it’s ready! As requested, I'll leave the patch notes under the cut.
With this, I’m truly done with Book One. Except for typo and bug reports, I won't be adding any more content, or spending more time and energy thinking about it. It is time to set my eyes ahead once and for all.
For Book Two is an even taller mountain.
Game Patch Notes:
Fixed typos and grammatical mistakes.
Fixed Alessa's relationship page bug.
Fixed the error where it wasn't acknowledged the MC already knew of the Ministry Building in the Market and the Cathedral paths.
Fixed Juturna's coin continuity errors.
Fixed the MC forgetting Aurelius' name at the Gates.
Fixed the MC not remembering seeing Neia's initial at the Gates.
Fixed Hadrian's cross being silver in Chapter One.
Fixed the siren continuity error.
Changed the description of Lance's coin box at the square.
Added Lance's crossbow.
Tweaked the Devil's guardian dialogue to make it clearer what she means when she calls you "one of us."
Added a small exposition about Latin in Chapter 1.
Changed the description of the Devil's Bridge in Chapter 3.
Added the Pirate to the relationship panel.
Adjusted Hadrian and Alessa's relationship descriptors. 
If the MC has high enough Combat, they're now able to hurt the Theers' spy in Chapter 7.
Added the option to be grateful to Salina for treating the scar.
MC recalls seeing a certain white spotted horse before.
If the MC has enough Lore, they recognize the word 'Tablinum'.
Added a different version of Lance's conversation outside the Inn based on a past choice.
Chouriça now reacts if you have high enough Corruption.
Added the option to keep Aurelius' cross without wearing it around your neck.
Added the option to tell Hadrian he's your first kiss. 
Added the option to tell Alessa she's your first kiss.
Put the 'A Templar's Heart' and 'The Flame Beneath the Ice' achievements in their proper places.
Added 'A Sight from the Deep' achievement.
Added 'Fearless' achievement.
Added 'A New Champion' achievement.
Added 'A Noble Parade' achievement.
Added 'The Title before the Name' achievement.
Added 'Gold Handkerchief' achievement.
Added 'Green Handkerchief' achievement.
Added 'A Promise of a Date' achievement.
Added 'You'd Rather Not' achievement.
Added 'A Sweet Treat' achievement.
Added 'It Grew' achievement.
Added 'Record Keeper' achievement.
Added 'Human After All' achievement.
Added 'Head in the Clouds' achievement.
Added 'A Sparrow Soaring Too High' achievement.
Added 'A Tight-Lipped Confession' achievement.
Added 'Through the Haze of Embarrassment' achievement.
Added 'The Noose Tightens' achievement.
Added 'Ancient Word' achievement.
Added 'A Bit of History' achievement.
Added 'A Tight-knit Group' achievement.
Added 'No Point in Clustering' achievement.
(It may not be ready on all platforms. I know the game has been updated on the omnibus and the COG website, but I can't know if it has been in all the others. If the patch isn't ready in your platform, it should be in a couple of hours.)
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jkflesh · 1 year
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jesu "My Kingdom for Coagulation"
"After four decades of pushing the boundaries of heavy music, legendary musician Justin Broadrick has announced his retirement from music. His final album, set to release late 2023, will be a farewell to fans who have supported his musical career over the years.
Broadrick, known for his work in bands such as Godflesh, Jesu, and Napalm Death, has decided to pursue his lifelong dream of running a goat cheese farm. He will be leaving the music industry to focus on this new chapter in his life with Avalanche Creamery.
"I've been immersed in the music industry since my teenage years and have seen firsthand how the internet has changed the way we consume and create music. The constant over-saturation of the market can be overwhelming at times. As much as I live and breathe music, I want to step away from that environment and focus on a new venture that's more grounded and tangible. Running a goat cheese farm will allow me to escape the information overload and build something with my own two hands. It's a challenge I'm eager to take on, and it will give me the opportunity to spend more time with my family."
While fans will be sad to see Broadrick leave the music industry, they can take solace in the fact that his final album promises to be a fitting end to his storied career. The album will showcase Broadrick's signature melancholy sound and is sure to be a must-listen for fans of heavy music.
Broadrick has already begun the process of transitioning to his new life on the farm. He has purchased a plot of land in the hills above his home in Flintshire and has started raising goats. He plans to begin production of his artisanal goat cheese later this year.
"I'm excited to start this new chapter in my life and I hope my friends and fans will support me in this new endeavor," Broadrick said. "I want to thank everyone who has supported me throughout my musical career. It's been an unbeliavable ride and I couldn't have done it without you."
The final album from Justin Broadrick will be released later this year via Avalanche Creamery."
1. Aged and Hard 2. Tummy Ache (The Intolerance) 3. Pant-Ysgawn Day 4. Sirene's Just Another Gold 5. Mold Reminds Me Nothing Lasts 6. Unwanted (Deposits) 7. Crumbled Feta 8. Xynotyro
Japanese CD bonus tracks: 9. Aged and Hard (Milk-Whey Mix) 10. Feeling Bleu (Unreleased 2002 Demo)
Vinyl: 500x Black vinyl 200x Humboldt fog 150x Cheddar swirl 100x Brunet splatter
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captainkurosolaire · 1 year
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Volume 3 - Chasing Kismet
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[Sin’s & Tragedies]
Promo Omen: Fogged Dream of a Boy Promo Omen: Captain’s Siren Promo Omen: The ‘Crown’ Tricorne Promo Omen: Sea-Lover Promo Omen: The Pledge Promo Omen: Spiritual Guide: Perish Promo Omen: Face-Paint Promo Omen: Survival & Fury Prelude: Skull Brethren Prelude: Original Crew Prelude: Founding Captain Prelude: The Sol Problem Chapter 1: Who Dunn It? Chapter 2: Fallout Chapter 3: Tailspin Chapter 4: Rumblin’ N’ Tumblin’ Chapter 5: Absence Ushers, Fate Declares! Chapter 6: Lie Mouse, Wrath is Born. Chapter 7: Farewell, Friends. Chapter 8: Traitor Chapter 9: Gold x Silver Chapter 10: Hat Chapter 11: Perish. Chapter 12: Dreamer of Dreams Chapter Finale: Sunbreak Treachery (Commentary below cut.)
(Achieved a great chunk more than I expected early this year to start with. But after a breather for little while, I’ll resume. Aim for that 60 Chapters or beyond @_@. Really put a dent into some of these stories. Have ton’s to write. Lots of characters to just flush out but least throughout this I got a lot set up, and many progressed. Ideally work on screen-sets and going casual mode for my standards though. Also between what may be confusing between Saga/Compendiums/Volumes: Compendium’s strictly will be like a glossary index, with the level’s of interesting stories to read. That’ll always probably be the recommended way to read if interested. Sagas/Volume may approach a more specific type though finding stories, based on Genre. While making the screen-sets I did throughout wildly that seemed like nothing, were pieces of stories that eventually got turn into an arc like this one. >Eventually, I’ll master-list writing into like two-links. Continue polishing my pinned post.< [Gratitude & Love] I legit like have a hundreds to thousand stories remaining. Strangely through feels like hardly anything when I visualize it mentally, feel like this is too short of a story. But reality and with how much energy it really does take and much detail often applying and honing screenshots trying to double-dip, dedication to what I want to go it’s so much, but my resolve and pure grit for passion is wickedly mad. 😎 But I must always shout thanks for all the support, whether invisible lurkers or visible cheers, from new and longtime hearties, who’ve been on this voyage with me. Treasure you from the deepest bottom that beats within. It’s plausible everything feels trivial only cause I have heard and gained lot of inspiration and in-turn your energy with ye all aboard or just merely in my surroundings, your sights are sublime.
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cherrycola27 · 2 years
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SIREN'S SONG
Chapter 7: Great Balls of Fire
Paring: Roosterx OC Captain Harper Ann "Siren" Mitchell
Warnings: Mentions of Ejection, injuries, cursing, drinking, and allusions smut 18+ only Minors DNI
A/N: This chapter is inspired by the song "Great Balls of Fire... but more specifically the Top Gun Maverick version. This has been my favorite chapter to write so far... please enjoy!
Four months had passed since the mission. The Navy was so appreciative of the success they gave the Dagger Squad some much needed time off. Rooster had settled in well to his new role at Top Gun. He and Harper had also settled in well to being a couple.
When they had returned he officially moved in with her even though Harper insisted he had been officially moved in with her months before. The couple had a well established routine. Work, friends, family, and amazing sex. They were happy. Sure they has small fights about stupid things and they were both stubborn as hell, but at the end of the day they were lovers and best friends. The perfect match.
It was a warm Friday afternoon Rooster was supposed to be meeting Harper at their favorite spot at the beach soon but he needed to make a pit stop first. He had told Harper he had left his phone charger in his office back on base and he needed to get it but in reality he was over at Maverick's.
"Alright Bradley let's see it. Maverick said rubbing his hands together. "Look at it Mav, isn't it beautiful... think she will like it?" Bradley side as he asked his pseudo-father proudly showing off the engagement ring he had in his hand. "Rooster it's beautiful. She is going to love it."
"Thanks Pete, it's just as special to me as she is. The center stone came from the necklace Dad gave mom when they got married. I chose that because I buried her with her wedding ring.... she wore it even after Dad died and I couldn't bear to take it from her." Rooster said tearing up. "The smaller diamonds came with the setting I think they really make the center stone pop. And I went with rose gold because Harper hates yellow gold and she thinks silver is too over done. So it's something one of a kind and unique just like her." Rooster continued placing the ring back into his pocket.
"So the plan is for Penny to fake some sort of emergency at the Hard Deck while we go to the beach and set up. Then I am going to go 'save' her. We are going to take a walk to our favorite spot while you, P, Ameila and the Daggers get the Hard Deck ready for the after party or my funeral... depending on what she says." Rooster explained to the old man.
"Bradley she is going to say yes. She loves you. Stop worrying and let's go!" Pete ushered the younger pilot out the door. He understood how nervous Rooster was. He had been the same way when he was going to propose to Penny. He had also seen the same nerves when Goose asked Carole to marry him.
"Penny Benjamin Mitchell" Harper stated with her hands on her hips looking at her mother. "How do you forget to install kegs? You own a fucking bar... you sell enough beer here every night to fill ten pools I swear! Harper huffed. "It's not that I forgot honey... its just these two are so big it's a two man job and Jimmy is off for the week and you were already here. Penny said struggling against the large container. Her daughter had no idea that entire story was a lie. She might be mad now but she would thank her later...
"Harper.... Penny.... anyone here?" Rooster called out through the empty bar. "In the back!" Both women shouted in unison.
"A little to the left and there.... woo... perfect. Thanks for your help honey." Penny said giving Harper a hug... "any time mom" Harper replied panting
"Well if you ladies are done here.... I believe we have a date Ms. Mitchell" Bradley said taking her had.
"We most certainly do Mr. Bradshaw" Harper replied threading her fingers with his. "Have fun you two" Penny yelled as the couple walking out the front door. Moments later Pete, Amelia, Jimmy, and the Dagger Squad entered through the back door and began to set up.
Harper and Rooster walk happily along the beach talking and laughing. Soon they had made it to their favorite spot where Roosters Bronco was parked. He quickly let the tailgate down and set out a blanket. Harper hopped up as Rooster pulled out his old guitar from beside her.
"Oh.. are you going to serenade me my love?" Harper asked
"Something like that." Bradley replied. He fiddled with this strings and began to slowly play the first cords of a song Harper new all too well
"You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain" he began at a much slower tempo than normal
"Too much love drives a man insane"
"You broke my will, but what a thrill" He began to sway back and forth. Harper smiled at him
"Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire"
"I laughed at love 'cause I thought it was funny"
"But you came along and you moved me, honey" Rooster shot a wink at her
"I changed my mind, this love is fine"
"Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire" he sang earnestly
"Kiss me, baby" Harper blew him a kiss
"Ooh, that feels good, baby"
"Hold me, baby"
"I wanna love you like a lover should"
"You're fine, you're so kind" he began to sing even slower as he walked closer to her.
"I'ma tell the world that you're mine, mine, mine, mine"
He drew out the last note and put his guitar down. Bradley grabbed both of Harper's hands.
"Baby." He began "I have loved you since before I even knew what love was. You have supported me through all of my ups and downs. I don't know how you put up with my dumbass... I swear you are an angel. You have been my biggest support and motivation. You are kind, smart, caring, stubborn, funny, considerate, and so full of love. I could not do this life without you. And I do want to let the whole world know that you are mine now and forever." Bradley dropped to one knee... "So, Harper Ann Mitchell.... Will You Mary Me?" Rooster pulled the ring out of his pocket and held it out while he waited for her answer.
"Oh my God Yes! Yes Bradley I will marry you!" Harper almost shouted with tears in her eyes. With shaky hands. Rooster placed the ring on her finger. Harper launched herself off the tailgate of the Bronco and tackled him to the sand peppering his face with kisses. "I love you so much Harper" Rooster told her cradling her cheek. "I love you so much to Bradley" She smiled back.
"Well... I guess we need to go show off your new ring to Penny and Mav. They should be at the Hard Deck." Rooster told her. Harper happily obliged her boyfriend... err fiancé and they began to walk back. On the way back Harper couldn't take her eyes off the ring. Bradley explained how the center diamond had once belong to his mom and the sentiment around the ring. If it was even possible Harper fell more in love with that man.
"Baby? Why is no one at the Hard Deck and the lights off?" Harper asked as the couple approached the bar and walked in. Before Rooster could answer "Surprise!" Pennt flipped the lights on as the Daggerr Squad, Maverick, Amelia, and Jimmy jumped from their hiding places. The bar was covered in streamers and balloons. Over the stage hung a "She said YES!" banner.
Everyone rushed forward to congratulate the couple. All of the girls fawned over Harper's engagement ring and sighed when she told them the story behind it and how the center diamond had belonged to Roosters mother.
The men of the Dagger Squad congratulated Rooster and gave him a pat on the back. "So as your best man I am obviously going to plan a kick ass bachelor party. I'm thinking Vegas, party bus, bottle service, strippers..." Hangman announced to Rooster and the gang. "Who said you were going to be my best man Bagman?" Rooster asked him.
"Dude I am you'd best friend... I saved your life... its literally my right to be your best man and throw the most epic bachelor party!" Jake said while he dramatically waved his arms. "As much as I am sure you would enjoy your idea for my bachelor party.... I am not down for Vegas or strippers... I was thinking a weekend golf trip to Tahoe." Rooster told him. Hangman sighed dramatically yet again "Ugh fine if you want to have a boring bachelor party fine but we are taking a party bus to the golf courses" Jake stated compromising.
As the night went on there was laughter, happy conversations and lots of hugs. Jake continued to try and persuade Rooster to change his mind about Vegas even going as far as to bet a game of pool on it. Meanwhile Harper asked Phoenix and Halo if they would be two of her bridesmaids. Amelia jumped up and down and hugged her so tight when Harper asked her to be her Maid of Honor.
Soon friends and family started making their way home. Harper and Rooster were the only two left. Penny told then to stay as long as they wanted to just to lock up when they left.
Rooster went and keyed up a song on the Juke Box and then pulled Harper into the middle of the empty bar. They danced together as Elvis sang "Can't Help Falling in Love With You."
Bradley placed a tender kiss to the top of Harper's head as she snuggled under his chin. She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up at him.
"Hey Rooster, you big stud" Harper called out using the line Aunt Carole told her she always used on Uncle Goose "That's me Honey" Rooster replied cracking a smile
Harper stood up on her tip toes to whisper in his ear. "Take me to bed or lose me forever"
"Show me the way home Honey!" Rooster called back pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.
He laced his fingers with hers and carefully lead her to his waiting Bronco. On the drive him Rooster looked over to see that his fiancée had fallen asleep. The excitement of the day finally catching up to her. He pulled in the driveway and unlocked the door.
He carefully opened the passenger side door of his car and picked up the sleeping woman. He carried her into the house and up the stairs. He made sure to take off her shoes before laying her down on the bed. Bradley had wanted get both of them changed into some sleep clothes, but as she went to pull away Harper had a death grip around his neck. He chuckled to himself admitting defeat and laying down beside her. Harper sighed and cuddled up next to Rooster as she wrapped an arm around him.
And there in that moment, for the first time in a long time, Bradley Bradshaw and Harper Mitchell were both truly happy.
Oh my God my heart almost melted and I may have shed a few tears writing this. This has definitely been my favorite chapter so far. I hope you all enjoyed it!
Tag List: @marvelsvalhalla @shanimallina87 @tallrock35
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sunnydaleherald · 9 months
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The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter - Wednesday, June 21st
GILES: (sheepishly) Oh, um, uh, embarrassed, mostly. Ethan's wardrobe's not helping any. (faces her) Uh, how did you know it was me? BUFFY: Your eyes. (off his look) You're the only person in the world that can looked *that* annoyed with me.
~~A New Man~~
The Sunnydale Herald is looking for at least one new editor. Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! Find out more here.
[Drabbles & Short Fiction]
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Hurt and Pain (Xander/Spike, E) by RebeccaHaskell
Not THAT Kind of Angel (Buffy/Spike, M) by Anonymous
Slayer scythe (Gen, not rated) by StepicliffeGrey
Agent Miller and the Misunderstanding (Xander/Graham, T) by calikocat
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Night Owl (Spike/Reader, not rated) by prose-for-hire
I Want You (Willow/Tara, not rated) by evieelyzabethh
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Normal Is Relative (Gen, PG) by badly-knitted
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These Endless Days Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by violettathepiratequeen
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Wild Thing Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by violettathepiratequeen
Poodle Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by myrabeth
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Inner Demon = Literal Cat Chapter 16 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Desicat
Dawn the Vampire Slayer Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, R) by LJ94
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In the WishVerse Chapter 7 (Buffy/Faith, G) by RavenclawSlayer
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[Fandom Discussions]
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btvs au where kendra survived drusilla’s attack by voices-not-echoes
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hookedonapirate · 1 year
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Lady Cassidy's Lover
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Summary: 1919 England, Emma Cassidy, wife of a baronet, finds herself trapped in a loveless marriage after the war leaves her husband, Neal, paralyzed from the waist down and unable to produce an heir.
Despite the obstacles, she sticks by her husband's side at Goldby Hall, his family's estate, but when she meets former army lieutenant and Neal's aloof gamekeeper, Killian Jones, she feels curiously drawn to his distant blue eyes and quiet demeanor.
At first, she seeks him out for reprieve from her soulless, mundane existence at Goldby Hall, but what starts out as purely physical quickly turns into more than either of them expects.
But Emma is a baronetess, wife of an aristocrat and Killian is a working class servant. Their love affair is frowned upon, and she risks losing her title, her wealth and her position in the world by being with him. But she is determined to get her happy ending with the man she loves. Even if it means losing everything else in the process.
A/N: Thank you @ultraluckycatnd and for looking this over and for being amazing!
Hope you all enjoy!
Catch up: Ch 1 I Ch 2 I Ch 3 I Ch 4 I Ch 5 I Ch 6 I Ch 7 I Ch 8 I Ch 9 I Ch 10 I Ch 11 I Ch 12 I Epilogue
Also on: AO3
Chapter Five
Killian watches as Lady Cassidy disappears into the darkness, his heart still hammering in his chest. He hates that she had to go, but he also hates that he had given in. He had sworn off women years ago after he found out his wife betrayed him. He has guarded his heart, kept it intact since then. For the only woman he has ever loved had squashed it to pieces.
He turns toward the darkness of the forest and heads back home. All is still, but he can hear the noises of the night, the engines at Stacks Gate, the traffic on the main road. He had tried to stay hidden and withdrawn from everything, but apparently the world does not allow for such a thing. And now he has let a woman pierce through his hard exterior, and he knows it can only lead to a new cycle of pain and doom.
There’s something different about Lady Cassidy, however. Something innocent and quiet and warm and soft. But also, he could see the loneliness and sadness in her eyes. She is so different from Milah but he doesn’t know if he can trust his gut instincts. Lady Cassidy could be a siren, setting a trap for him and trying to ensnare him.
So it’s good that this cannot happen again. No matter how strongly her scent still lingers in his nostrils or how warm and soft and soaked her walls felt around his cock when he took her in the hut. Or how green her eyes are, how gold her hair is, reminding him of the sunshine he rarely sees, or how beautiful she is. Or how much she has already affected him.
When he witnessed her break down, he knew it wasn’t from holding one of the chicks. He could tell how much she cares for them but he had seen the pure joy on her face when holding the tiny pheasant in her hands. Then that joy quickly turned into tears, and he felt awkward, not knowing what to do. It had been a while since a woman had cried in front of him. 
And he didn’t know her enough or know what she was going through to comfort her properly. But he sensed her husband was the cause of her tears. Of her loneliness, her sadness. For if she were happy with her marriage, there would be no sadness in her eyes. And if Neal is anything like his black-hearted father, Killian can most certainly understand why the young woman would break down suddenly like she had.
He goes home to his dark cottage, lights the lamp and starts the fire, eating his supper of bread, cheese and young onions, washing it down with beer. He’s alone, except for Jolly of course, but he enjoys the silence. At first he had been annoyed Lady Cassidy had come to the hut and asked for a key, because the hut was his sanctuary, the only place no one else knew of, but she had asked with such kindness, and he couldn’t possibly deny her request. 
And that is what scares him. She seems too kind, too nice, too quiet, too much like him to be real. And when they were in the hut—what is now their hut, their little sanctuary—he could see the need, the vulnerability in her eyes, something a woman of her class has never shown him before.
But honestly, he is sorry for what had happened, mostly for her sake. What would happen if Sir Neal discovered Killian had fucked his wife? He would surely lose his job, but that’s not what worries him. Lady Cassidy’s reputation would be tarnished. 
The town would talk, and nothing but vile things about her would come from their mouths. And he doesn’t wish that upon her. If it were just her and him in this world, it would be a different story. He’d no doubt let her lure him and entrap him and he’d be hers for the taking. He’d take her again and again with no remorse.
The desire for her rises within him, his cock stirring to life once again.
He goes to bed that night and dreads the thought of washing Lady Cassidy off his skin. He strokes himself at the thoughts and memories invading his mind of her lithe body writhing underneath him, of her moaning and panting. Oh how sinful and sweet and lovely those sounds were. And that look on her beautiful face when he’d tried to get the firewood. When she begged for him with those hypnotizing green eyes, he knew at that moment he couldn’t say no. Not to her.
He'd fucked her good and hard on the floor of that hut and wished he could do it again and again. He spills his seed as he remembers how hard she had made him come inside her. Lady Cassidy with her tight walls squeezing his cock and making him hers.
Vixen.
He’d agreed a one-time thing is for the best.
But he fears if he sees her again, he surely won’t be able to resist her.
~*~
The next day, he goes to the hut, part of him hoping she’s there, another part of him hoping she’s not. He fears that even if he wants to stay away, he can’t. But he has to check on the coops. Make sure there are no poachers lurking around. 
He’s not sure how to feel when he arrives and sees her sitting on the porch steps, reading her book. Memories flood through his mind, the memories of how tight and wet she was when he took her in the hut, the way she smelled, the way she looked at him. But he has to wonder if she’s here for him. She has a key after all and she’d probably be more comfortable inside the hut. 
Though it’s stopped raining for the time being, so maybe she prefers to breathe in the fresh air of the forest. He glances over at her—saluting when she looks up from her book. Trying not to look at her too long, for he knows if he does, he’ll be tempted to give in—he goes to the coops, crouching down and surveying everything carefully, then shutting the hens and chicks up safe for the night.
When he approaches her, she’s still sitting on the porch step, reading her book, and she’s so stunning in her white and pink floral dress and bright yellow coat, part of her golden hair pinned back behind her head. Something stirs inside him like it had last night when he held her in his arms. She was crying and his heart ached for her.
He wanted to take all her pain away and he tried to ignore the way his heart raced when he was near her. But then he brought her into the hut and tried to leave to get more firewood and she grabbed his arm. Before then, he had doubted that what he was feeling for her was mutual, but then he saw the look in her eyes—the unmistakable desire in her alluring, emerald depths—and he knew in the moment she wanted him.
He very much wanted her too. Bloody hell did he want her.
He tried to fight it, tried to tell himself no good could come from it but whatever had made her sad was obviously not good and it had seemed to vanish from her mind when they were inthe hut and she looked at him the way she did, her eyes full of longing and need. He didn’t want to fight his desire for her. He wanted to give in. And he doesn’t regret what happened, but he worries she will. She, Lady Cassidy, cheated on her husband. He thought she’d wake up this morning, hating Killian for what happened. He thought he’d never get to see her again—unless by accident—that she’d never come to the hut again.
She looks up from her book, those fierce green eyes penetrating his soul. His heartbeat quickens, and he wants so badly to kiss those soft looking lips, but he’s afraid if he kissed her, he’d be a goner.
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
Fear pounds through him, because there are probably a couple reasons she’d be waiting for him  one, to tell him how sorry she is for what happened and that she hates him for it and two, to tell him she wants more than a one-time thing. She doesn’t look angry though. He swallows the hard lump lodged in his throat. “Do you regret what happened between us?”
She shakes her head, and he’s not sure whether to be relieved or bloody terrified. “No, not at all. Do you?”
“No, of course not.” He averts his eyes toward the forest, trying to avoid looking her directly in the eye. “But…don’t you think folks will become suspicious if you keep coming here?” He moves his eyes back to hers. “Imagine how lowered you’d feel…you with your husband’s servant.”
She cocks her head to the side, eyeing him curiously. “You afraid?”
“I bloody well am.” He steers his gaze away briefly and then back to her, nodding. “I bloody well am, yeah. Not of what people think of me, milady,” he clarifies, peering down at the ground. “But if you were to ever feel sorry for what we did—” Before he can finish his sentence, Lady Cassidy attacks his lips with hers, cupping his neck in her delicate hands. He’s too stunned to react at first. She had risen from the steps and sprang forward so fast, he hadn’t even noticed until it was too late.
He was right about his earlier prediction.
Now that Lady Cassidy’s lips are on his, so soft and tender, he’s a complete goner.
Once he returns from his daze, he exhales deeply and moves his lips against hers, closing his eyes. He cups her cheek in his hand, brushing his thumb over her plump bottom lip, savoring the taste of her mouth and the feel of her skin, his heart quickening in his chest.
His other hand rests upon her waist, and he inhales her sweet scent as his lips ghost over hers, her hot breath kissing his skin. She cups the back of his neck in her hand, her fingers playing at his nape and combing through his hair as she slips her tongue past his parted lips, knocking the hat off his head and the wind right out of his lungs. Her tongue is so soft and warm and wet as she drives him mad, his cock hardening in his trousers. He presses himself against her core, making her whimper, and he savors the deliciousness of her mouth pressed against his.
Letting the effect she has on him completely overpower him, for he can no longer find it within himself to resist her, he walks her backward, up the steps and toward the hut. 
They work at tearing off each other’s clothes while looking around to make sure no one’s around to see them. Killian pushes off her jacket as she undoes the handkerchief around his neck, pulling it off of him and tossing it aside, both of them already panting.
“We have to be quick,” she murmurs breathlessly. “I have to be back soon for supper.”
He hates the idea of a time limit, hell, he hates she has to go back, but he pushes the negative thoughts aside, continuing to walk her backward as they both work at unbuttoning his waist coat, and crushes her lips with his. She makes him delirious with need, and he never wants to stop kissing her. He flings it off and kicks the door open behind her, cupping the back of her head in his hands and burying his fingers in her soft hair as he ushers her inside.
When he backs her into the table, he lifts her up and sets her atop it, quickly parting her legs and resting in the cradle of her luscious thighs, their lips still latched. He loves her thighs, he loved thrusting against them when he pounded into her, he loves how soft and lovely they are. Killian rocks gently against her, and she gasps at the feel of him, a sweet little moan escaping into his mouth, and he devours it, his skin tingling.
His entire body is on fire.
Lady Cassidy fumbles for the buttons of his shirt and tugs the suspenders from his shoulders, never breaking the kiss as he helps her with it.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers against her lips as she pulls his sleeves down his arms.
She smiles and blushes. “You are too.”
Once the shirt is on the floor, he wraps his arms around her as she cards her hands through his hair, both of them breathing heavily and moving to get closer and closer until either can barely breathe. She wraps her hand around the back of his neck, and he cups her cheeks in his hands, breaking the kiss very briefly as he brushes his thumbs across her lips and admires her mouth. She’s breathless, her lips pink and bruised, her cheeks a rosy pink shade. Every part of her is beautiful, and her perfection takes his breath away.
Removing his thumbs from her lips, he sighs deeply and leans in again, tenderly capturing her mouth, groaning as he lets himself get completely lost in the kiss. He can’t get enough of her. He wants to stop time so he can keep kissing her.
Snaking his arm completely around her back, he holds her close as his other hand reaches for her breast, cupping the soft weight in his palm and stroking it delicately as her body melts under his touch. He can feel her nipple harden under his thumb as he toys with the delicate bud, eliciting the softest of moans from her mouth.
Reaching for her dress, he pulls up her skirts and she shifts and helps him remove the barriers.
“I can’t stay long,” she murmurs. “Someone will notice.”
Once again he finds himself grimacing at the time limit, but it only means he has to make what little time they have together count. He wants to make her feel good, no he wants her to feel incredible. He doubts Neal ever pays her any attention or touches her properly—or rather improperly.
He licks his fingertips and slips his hand under her dress, his breath hitching, his heart pounding when he finds her naked under her petticoat. She is so incredibly wet as he slides his finger through her folds, placing his other hand on the table. He hears the sharp intake of breath as he strokes her delicate, secret place, sliding two fingers into her heat, coating his digits in her arousal. She leans back and closes her eyes, biting her bottom lip and muffling her sounds of bliss.
“Look at me,” he demands in a whisper, wanting to stare into those hypnotizing eyes when he makes her fall apart.
She opens her eyes, those emerald depths pooled with desire as he thrusts his fingers into her warmth. He slides his lips down her jaw and kisses her neck as she tips her head back, moans pouring from her sweet mouth, her body writhing, both of them panting. Soon he can feel her walls pulse around his fingers and he kisses the delicious moans as she comes hard in his hand. But he’s not finished with her yet.
Carefully removing his fingers from her core, he drops to his knees and quickly, desperately, removes her petticoat and tosses it aside. She’s got these adorable pink, sheer stockings on her legs that go just above her knees and are adorned with pink bows. He throws those stocking-covered legs over his shoulders and pulls her to the edge of the table, looping his arms around her thighs.
She leans back on her elbows as he swipes her brown curls aside and licks up her slit, her sweet, tangy scent invading his senses and fogging his mind as he breathes it in through his nose. Lady Cassidy moans above him, carding her fingers in his hair as he devours her cunt. She’s so soft and warm and decadent, he could feast on her all day.
A gasp escapes her mouth, her thighs tightening around Killian’s head. When he peers up at her, the feeling of his tongue lapping her up has her eyes rolling back into her head. He smirks against her glistening folds as she threads her fingers through his dark hair, scraping her nails against his scalp, her body writhing above him.
He dips his tongue deeper inside her, pulling away almost immediately before repeating, teasing her until she’s completely on the edge and begging for him to finish her. 
“Jones…please…”
It’s in that moment he realizes she doesn’t even know his first name. Hell, he doesn’t know hers either. They are practically strangers, and here he is with his face buried in her pussy. But he’s not complaining.
She tugs gently on his hair and then harder in warning as he pushes his tongue in deeper, wiggling against her slick walls and stroking her clit, coaxing another orgasm out of her. Her thighs clench harder, and she gasps, throwing her head back, moans slipping from her mouth, loud enough to bounce off the walls of the small hut. 
Killian grips her thighs, keeping them still as he drives his tongue deeper and faster until her body arches and her thighs tremble around his head, until she tugs hard on his hair, her hips squirming. His grip never falters, nor does his tongue, drawing out her orgasm for as long as possible. Until she can’t take anymore.
When he finally pulls away, he looks up at her face again. She’s panting, her cheeks flushed, her lips parted, her eyes closed.
She’s an exquisite little thing.
He licks his lips as her orgasm drips down his stubbled chin. He rises and leans in, stealing a kiss, smirking against her mouth.
She laughs and playfully pushes him away. “I’m late.” He helps her off the table, and she grabs her slip and heads toward the door.
“Wait, let me walk you!” he calls through the doorway, picking up his shirt and throwing it on. He buttons it up as he hurries down the porch steps and grabs his hat, replacing it on his head. Lady Cassidy already has her jacket on and her book is already making her way back carrying her book and slip. But she knows he’ll chase her. Which he does.
When they’re close to the park, she spins around in front of a giant oak tree and throws him a curious look. “Do we still feel like strangers to you?”
He arches a brow in amusement as he makes his way to her. “Pardon me?”
“Do we still feel like strangers?” 
He looks around the tree trunk to make sure they don’t have an audience as he steps up to her, removing his hat. “Not like any strangers I’ve ever known.”
She walks backward until she bumps into the tree, her entire face lighting up with a giggle. The sound is music to his ears, and he longs to make her laugh like that and see the pure joy on her lovely face all the time. He closes the distance between them, presses his palm against the tree by her head and kisses her soundly on the mouth, swiping her tongue with his when she parts her lips. She cups his jaw in her free hand, brushing her thumb over his stubbled jaw as she lets a little moan escape into his mouth, making his spine tingle.
He loves her moans just as much as he loves her giggles.
“I don’t even know your first name,” she admits as though she’d been reading his thoughts earlier.
“It’s Killian.” He kisses her again. “And yours?”
“Emma.”
“There, do we feel less like strangers now?” he teases with a grin.
She smiles that big, radiant smile of hers as she gently pushes him backward. “I suppose.”
“Come to my cottage tomorrow.” He longs to have her in his bed, though he knows he won’t be able to wake up next to her, since she would have to return to her husband before supper. The reminder that she’s married makes his heart clench. Technically he is married too, but he doesn’t live with his spouse, nor is he still with her. They are separated. Emma on the other hand still lives with her husband.
She shrugs, looking a bit unsure. “If I can.” She turns around and heads for the gate. “Goodnight.”
He puts on his hat. “Goodnight then, your Ladyship.”
Emma opens the gate and pauses, turning around. “Killian!”
“Yes?”
She tosses her petticoat, and he grabs it with a smirk as he watches her close the gate and saunter away. It’s the first time she’s ever spoken his first name, and he loves the way it rolls off her tongue.
He tucks the slip underneath his shirt so no one sees him with it as he makes his way back home, a smile playing along his lips. His lips haven’t experienced this kind of smile in a very long time, and he has a feeling he’ll be smiling more often now as long as Emma’s in his life.
So much for swearing off women.
He doesn’t think he’ll be able to stay away from her.
He’s so fucked.
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cjbolan · 9 months
Text
Up to Chapter 7 of Emily Windsnap and the Tides of Time...
*WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD*
LOOOOOVE the suspense of this book so far!! It’s so creepy and takes its sweet time, as Emily spends several chapters panicking and slowly realizing that she’s in the future.
All that glitters is NOT gold. Also love how it showed Brightport becoming richer didn’t automatically make living there better. In this future, it’s more a playground for the rich than a community for all. Very relatable today.
Liz Kessler REALLY hates public schools. I think Brightport Junior High is a public school? In her world, public schools are a place where school principals sneak in vodka to deal with the stress of working overtime with mountains of paper, and teachers sarcastically speak down to their pupils. Mandy said it best, it’s “95% paperwork”.  Having worked in public schools I can relate. I know a lot of kids’ books make school look like a nightmare, this book may be the first to show school being a nightmare for teachers/principals, as well as students.  It’s like if Captain Underpants made Principal Krupp the protagonist, instead of Harold and Billy.
Mandy’s secret vodka stash in her office is both funny and sad. It’s kinda funny because she’s the school principal and should know better. But it’s also sad, because earlier she mentioned her dad “pretending it’s not happening and spending most nights in a bar”. Now Mandy’s picked up his bad habits of getting drunk as a coping mechanism. Like father, like daughter.
Brightport has an incredible amount of moral restraint... after Book 4, Brightport could EASILY have exploited the merpeople there for a quick profit, like the Rushtons tried to in Book 2. And yet, Brightport still being in economic shambles means they attempted no such thing. It means that Brightport saw and respected the merpeople as fellow intelligent beings, even at Brightport’s own expense. Gotta admire Brightport for that.
Some clever callbacks: Emily pinching herself awake to see if she’s dreaming (like she did to Jake in Book 1), the Rushtons’ theme park selling doughnuts like Mr. Beeston’s, also Mandy saying “Yes really” like King Neptune did earlier in the series. 
Speaking of doughnuts...would Brightport even want doughnuts? I think after discovering Shiprock, they would also discover Mr. Beeston was drugging them with doughnuts all along. Thanks to Mr. Beeston, everyone who knew him is probably afraid of doughnuts.  And by “everyone” I mean all of Brightport, because he is Chairman of the Board. Doughnuts may be yet another failed business venture for the Rushtons.
Yay more Greek mythology references!! With Midas Enterprises and all, and their tagline about turning everything to gold. I talked about this before, the series has a ton of Greek mythology references: Neptune, Sirens, Penelope, and now Midas. Maybe there’s more I just never noticed.
I’m suddenly curious about Medieval Brightport. Because when Emily’s Googling “History of Brightport”, her first search results were “mostly about medieval times”.... what was Brightport like in medieval times? Was this before or after Neptune’s “no-marrying-humans” policy? Did Brightport know back then about merpeople and got memory-wiped later? Did Shiprock exist at the time too?  What did Brightport in medieval times think about merpeople? Was Aurora originally from Brightport? What if Emily Windsnap lived in medieval times? *imagines a Medieval AU*
I’m surprised Mr. Beeston is still alive after twenty years. Given how old he’s supposed to be. Either he takes good care of himself or he’s blessed with really good genes. Maybe partnering with Midas got him lots of money for exceptionally good healthcare. Why do I have a bad feeling this book is going to end with him dying?
VERY Spiderverse vibes to this book. Emily literally says the words “alternate universe”. Funny this book was written in 2020, right when the multiverse trend in movies took off. I know MCU kicked off the trend, but I like to think Liz Kessler influenced it too.
Humans are now the main stars. What makes the last three Emily books (including this one) unique is its greater focus on humans. From Forgotten Island to the Pirate King’s crew and now back to Brightport, it’s finally showing the human world can be just and fantastical and magical as the merfolk world. Which is only fitting after the earlier books were all about the world of the merfolk.
Humans Drink “Respect Women” Juice? These last 3 books make me think human women have way more equality and opportunities than mermaids do. In the human world women hold all sorts of authority as...
Queens (Pirate Queen)
Sea Captains (again the Pirate Queen, maybe Mary Penelope)
School Principals (Mandy)
Goddesses (Terra Mater)
Tribal Leaders (Ella though she’s technically just second-in-command)
Business Owners (Mystic Millie, Mrs. Rushton)
Meanwhile the only mermaid authority figures we see are...
 Schoolteachers
Schoolteachers are important too but, compared to human women...mermaids don’t have many options. Also everyone working for King Neptune is male, maybe Neptune doesn’t allow mermaids in politics?
I can better see why Mary hated Allpoints Island. She went from a world where women can be anything, to a world where women can be only teachers or stay-home housewives.
Mary Penelope: “...look at my life here. What do I do all day?  Sunbathe, comb my hair, maybe go to synchro swim a couple of times a week. This isn’t a life for me, Jake. I want more than this.”
(Emily Windsnap and the Castle in the Mist)
I wonder how shocked Jake would be seeing how much more Brightport women can do.
I’ll stay tuned to find out how Brightport got to where it is!
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c-rose2081 · 10 months
Note
14 and 7 🤩💜😊😁
Of Sirens Deep :: Chapter 14 :: #7
"Aria, what's gotten into you?" Melody wondered, grabbing my shoulder again and holding it tight. We stood eye to eye, gold clashing with gold.
"You know what happens to sirens in the open ocean, Melody. We all know." I snapped. "It's a death sentence. I've already taken one life; I refuse to take another. My answer stands. No."
Thanks for the ask! :D
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sake-and-whiskey · 6 years
Text
Siren’s Gold Chapter 7
//It’s been a long time coming, but here it is Siren’s Gold Chapter 7 Read on AO3 HERE Rated M  “ An olive branch is extended, and information shared. “
The first week went well, all things considered.
Well, as well as it could have gone. Hanzo had been insistent upon the rules he had set, which meant Jesse needed to be able to bridge the expanse of water in the cavern to go from the central rocky outcrop to the bank at the back. This had been an ordeal, the two arguing relentlessly. Hanzo could not fathom why Jesse would not just get in the water, and Jesse was not at all eager to return to the sea after nearly drowning the day before. Not to mention that after coming down from his panic attack, he wasn’t positive he could trust getting in the water with the siren in the first place. They argued over the best method, whether or not it was safe, and why Jesse couldn’t just stay on the center island, among other things. It ended with nothing but shouting and cursing, until finally Hanzo had relented, but only for the time being.
That was the first argument between them, and certainly not the last. Hanzo held grudges to prove a point, and would not speak unless Jesse apologized. Jesse was stubborn as all hell, and not willing to budge. So the first night, no words were shared between them, silence filling the space between the rock where Hanzo lay and the shore where Jesse curled up, neither sleeping yet neither speaking, only listening to the sounds of the other breathing and the gentle lapping of the water on the rocky bank.
The day after had been its own adventure. It started with fish, to be specific. Hanzo brought McCree fruit in the mornings after his hunt, and would spill them onto Jesse’s side of the bank before moving to his own to eat the creatures he had hunted. Normally the dragon fed on large fish, which was quite a sight. Hanzo would tear the creature apart with his claws, strong jaw full of sharpened fangs ripping through the flesh easily. McCree would watch from across the cave, slowly chewing his meal of coconuts or mangos or something of the like, eyebrows raised as he watched the dragon feed. He could not decide if he watched out of curiosity or disgust, but either way he couldn’t look away.
Suddenly the dragon had looked up, eyes locking with Jesse’s. Blood was painted across Hanzo’s lips, dripping down his chin onto his scaly tail, and it spilled from the rocks to the water, clouding it with its rich color. The two didn’t speak, only looking at each other before Hanzo wiped his mouth with his hand, only serving to smear the blood further across his face. He looked like a real hunter then, a predator covered in blood, and he gave McCree a challenging smirk, a flash of teeth painted red glinting in the early morning light.
“What is the matter, captain?” he chuckled, clearly amused with himself. “Got something  to say?”
McCree narrowed his eyes before shrugging, nodding his head towards the dragon. “I was admirin’ your dinner. Or at least, what it was before,” He motioned again to the pile of flesh that sat in the dragon’s hands.
Hanzo blinked at this response, thinking a moment before cocking his head in thought. After a moment he grabbed what remained of the fish’s carcass in both hands, heaving it over his head and throwing it at the human. McCree jumped back in surprise as the mass of scales and stripped bone hit the rock in front of him with a wet slap, specks of blood and other liquid splattering around him. “You may have the rest if you are so interested in it,” Hanzo said as he began dunking his hands in the water, slowly clawing away the blood that crusted his nails.
Now it was Jesse’s turn to stare, blinking slowly at the dragon before turning to the pile of raw mush in front of him. A smile slowly cracked on his lips until finally he burst out laughing. Hanzo’s head snapped up, eyes narrowing as he took in the pirate, laughing like a fool before him. “I did not realize I was so humorous,” He snarled, glowering at McCree. “I can take it back.”
McCree shook his head quickly, laughter trailing off but smile remaining. “Nah, nah it ain’t that. I’m mighty happy you were willin’ to share. Just don’t know if I have the stomach for a pile of raw meat.”
Hanzo’s eyes widened, and he raised an eyebrow in surprise. Humans could not eat raw meat? If he remembered correctly, the Shimada clan had been able to eat raw fish. Infact, he knew they had, and could remember beautifully plated and crafted dishes being presented to him and his brother long ago. And yet the foreigner didn’t have a taste for it. That figured, he mused, it was unlikely a man such as the one before him would have a taste for the finer things. “How predictable… Such an unsophisticated taste,” Hanzo grumbled.
Across the rocks, McCree rolled his eyes. “Well excuuuuse me. I’m not sayin’ I won’t eat it, I just can’t eat it raw. If you had any way of cooking it I wouldn’t mind none. But now I’m fine without it, thank you very much.”
The dragon pondered this for a moment, and then turned away, silently washing the blood from his hands and body. Jesse took that to mean the conversation was over, which was fine by him, and turned away, continuing to munch angrily on his breakfast of fruit.
The hours of the day passed slowly for McCree. Hanzo would leave the cave for hours on end, and Jesse would have to find things to entertain himself with. Sometimes it was counting the drips of water that fell from the ceiling. Other times it was building piles and shapes from the empty carcasses of the fruit he had eaten for breakfast. On more than one occasion he did nothing at all, simply laying on the rocks and looking up, or sleeping for many hours.
Hours felt like days when there was nothing to do, which was dangerous for McCree as the voices of the past would whisper to him, filling the silence with their wants and desires. Fareeha would call to him occasionally, reminding him not to give up and to avenge her, or sometimes Reyes would whisper evil things in his ear, taunts and threats of the past. Of course the voices were all in his head, a coping mechanism to keep him from going mad he had developed long ago. But sometimes the voices were too much, and to drown them out, McCree would sing.
While Jesse McCree was a man of many flaws, he was also one of many talents, and one of those was singing. He was not one to brag of his own abilities, but he could hold a tune quite well. His voice was always strong and confident, be it in a pub leading a group of drunken friends in song, or on the deck of his ship, carrying his motley crew in the chorus of a pirate shanty. So sometimes, when the voices became too loud in his head or he couldn’t be bothered to count the stalactites in the ceiling, he would sing.
The songs would vary, for McCree knew a great many. Sometimes they would be filthy pirate songs detailing pillaging ships and sexual conquests. Other times it would be songs from foreign countries, ones he had heard sung by Captain Amari or Fareeha in his youth. And occasionally, he would sing slow songs, romantic and heartfelt. His deep voice would reverberate off the rocks, filling the cavern with his melodic words.
It was during one of these songs when Hanzo returned, silently breaching the surface of the water after a long (and particularly exhausting) conversation with Genji. He had spent the later parts of the day complaining in great detail about everything the pirate did that drove him mad, and Genji had listened with a bemused expression but offered nothing in the way of genuine help or advice, only giving cryptic responses. “If you want the human to like you, try being a little nicer. Get to know him,” Genji had said with a shrug. “You are both too stubborn to make any progress if you do not try.” He sounded like Sojiro Shimada, Hanzo had thought with a huff. All cryptic answers and poetic verses, nothing straight forward. He had left with the same amount of irritation as when he had  arrived at Genji’s lagoon, nothing gained. As he made the journey back to his lair he thought of all the things he could say to the human to put him in his place, to make him be less stubborn.
But as he broke the surface, his thoughts were put on pause. The cave was filled with a beautiful sound, singing unlike any he had heard before. He slowly drew closer to his side of the bank, crawling up the rock just enough to peer at the human on the other side. McCree was laying on his back, eyes closed as he sang. His words were uninhibited, voice low and deep, slow and rumbling across the water.
The words of the song were sweet yet sad, a bitter story of a sailor’s unrequited love with a mysterious woman he had met one night sitting on some rocks on the beach. The woman was beautiful and mysterious, and the two shared a wonderful night together, making love on the sand before falling asleep in each other’s arms. When he awoke in the morning, naked and sprawled out on the beach, all he held in his arms was a pile of shells. The man was, of course, confused and unsure of whether the whole thing had just been a dream. So the next night he came back, and again there the woman was, sitting on the rocks at the beach. The two ran to each other and again made love, and again he fell asleep with her in his arms and awoke to nothing but shells. This went on for several days, until the sailor soon had to go back aboard his ship. The night before he was to set out, he went to the beach to tell the woman that he loved her, but she never came. The man was, of course, heart broken, and set out to sea the next morning with nothing but pain and bitterness.
Hanzo found himself not breathing, hanging on every word the pirate sang. The story progressed on, with the sailor’s ship getting trapped in a storm, and he was thrown overboard. The sailor, of course, could not swim, and as he began to sink into the waves the last thing he saw was the face of the woman he loved, reaching out towards him in the water. When the man awoke, he was on the beach of his home town, and there was the woman he loved. Only now, as she laid with him in the sand, a tail like a fish replaced her legs. The man had fallen in love with a siren, and she had fallen in love with him. And because sirens can see the future, she had known where he would crash into the sea, so she had left so that she might have the chance to save him. The sailor was so happy he could not speak, and the two made love under the stars once more. Eventually the siren gave up her tail and kept her human legs for the man, and the two were together forever, always holding each other under the stars.
When the song ended, Hanzo felt his heart sway, and he let out a quiet breath as the last note resounded off the cave walls. His body released the tension he had built, and he slowly propped his head on his hands, watching the human who continued to lay on the rock across from him. The sun was fading quickly, and pinkish beams of light filled the cavern with a glow as warm as McCree’s voice. After a moment, Hanzo gathered his words, speaking gently.
“That was quite a story,” the dragon said. McCree sat up quickly, reaching for his pistol that lay beside him on the rock, before he realized who had spoken and relaxed, turning to Hanzo.
“Isn’t it? It was always one of my favorites,” He said, only slightly embarrassed. If he had known the dragon was listening, he might’ve picked a different song.
“There are a few things that are incorrect,” Hanzo mused, tilting his head. “But for the sake of the story, they were passable.”
Jesse raised an eyebrow, interested. “Oh? Like what?”
“Well for one,” the dragon began. “Sirens cannot see the future. So she would not have known he was going to be thrown overboard.”
“Well I’ll be damned,” Jesse muttered, taken aback slightly. “I always heard sirens could see the past and the future, and what a man wanted most.”
“A man’s true desire, that is correct,” Hanzo nodded approvingly. “That is how they are able to lure their prey, by appealing to them with that which they desire most. But to see a man’s life is not a skill they posses unless it is directly related to their desire.”
“I see,” McCree muttered.
“And another thing that was incorrect was the part about her legs,” Hanzo said quickly. “Sirens are sirens, they do not possess shapeshifting magic unless they are put under a spell of some sort by another being, they cannot do it themselves. Very few magical creatures have the ability to take the form of man. So the two would have had to remain lovers by the sea.”
Jesse blinked in surprise. The two hadn’t spoken to each other this much since their discussion when Jesse had first arrived, and now the creature was giving him a plethora of information. Perhaps this was a gesture of some kind, an offering of calm instead of the hostility he had grown used to. Whatever it was, he would take this olive branch and extend his own, as well as use this conversation for its potential for valuable information.
“Other magical creatures? How many are there? We sailors only ever really talk about sirens and krakens. Well, the sailors around here anyways,” He corrected. “Some of the foreign sailors talk about selkies and water horses or other things.”
“Ah, there are a great many more than that,” Hanzo nodded. “But those kinds of creatures come from colder water, or fresh waters in different lands. Just as animals on the surface require different conditions to live, so do we under the water. Most do not venture here, but some find their way into the warm waters in which we live.” If he wasn’t mistaken, he was pretty sure Genji actually owned a selkie in his collection of creatures. He was never very interested in Genji’s horde, but now he found himself curious enough to ask in their next meeting.
McCree’s mouth fell open, dumbfounded. Many more? How many more? All the legends and myths were real, just with slight inaccuracies? It was almost too much for him to believe. But his mind drifted to the events only a few days prior, to the creature of smoke and evil intentions that had sunken his ship and put him in this situation. If something like that could exist, then there was no telling what else could live in the world, just out of sight.
“So then… If sirens can’t do all that stuff in the song, where do people get those ideas?” He asked warily. “Surely they can’t all be made up?”
“I would say there is surely a portion that is made up to make your stories more interesting,” Hanzo mused. “But no, a good portion are abilities other stronger creatures possess, as I said before. Humans just can’t tell the difference between us.”
Jesse pondered on this for a moment before coming to a realization, snapping his fingers with understanding. “Like when I called you a siren, and your brother laughed at me? It’s ‘cuz you two aren’t the same as sirens?”
Hanzo rolled his eyes as he remembered Genji’s guffaw at the human’s mistake, but nodded. “Yes. Because we are finned creatures humans imagine us to be the same as Sirens, because that is the only race of sea creature they know. But we are far different.”
“What, uh,” McCree began, unsure of how to phrase his question politely. “What exactly are you two?”
Hanzo cocked his head, smiling with a flash of sharp teeth. “We are Dragons.”
McCree blinked, taken aback only for a moment. “Dragons? Like sea dragons?”
“Something to that affect, yes,” Hanzo chuckled, brushing a piece of long hair behind one of his finned ears. “We are, how would you say… More pure bred creatures of magic. Sirens are born from the sea, where as we are born from a different place. It is hard to explain to someone with no knowledge of the world of magic.”
“Well I, I reckon I wouldn’t mind learning,” Jesse offered, mind racing a thousand miles a minute. Dragons? What in the hell did that mean?  
“Hmm…” Hanzo pondered for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. “Perhaps another time. The sun is gone, and you need rest. I intend to start your swimming  training tomorrow, so you need all the energy you can get. Perhaps depending on your level of success, I will tell you more of what you wish to know.”
McCree hadn’t noticed that the sunlight had died away, pale moonlight streaming down in thin beams. He soured slightly at the concept of getting in the water, but after tonight, he was a little less nervous about the siren- no, the dragon- being there with him. So he sighed, but gave a nod. “I suppose that’s fair. I’ll try and get some rest then.”
Hanzo nodded approvingly, pulling himself onto the rock, his long tail coiling around himself as he tried to get comfortable on the outcropping. “Then we shall speak again in the morning, Jesse McCree.”
The pirate nodded, pulling his coat up over himself as he laid back down on the rocks. “Til then, Hanzo.”
The two did not speak to each other again that night, the cave filled once more with the dripping of water and the lapping of the waves. Their minds were full, and both had many a thing to think about. Eventually, as Hanzo had just closed his eyes, he heard a low rumbling from the otherside of the cave. His ear twitched, picking up the low and sweet voice of Jesse McCree. He sang softly, just loud enough for Hanzo to hear, in a language he did not know. But the words rolled from his tongue, and the dragon felt his mind ease as his breathing grew heavy, lulled to sleep by the songs of the pirate.
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lubdubsworld · 3 years
Text
物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)
Alpha Jungkook x Omega Oc!
Genre : Angst , Hurt/ Comfort.
    Chapter 1  ⋆  Chapter 2  ⋆  Chapter 3     Chapter 4  ⋆  Chapter 5   ⋆   
    Chapter 6   Chapter 7     Chapter 8
Summary : Nine months after her marriage ends, Kim Heejin is a reclusive artist, who works out of a renovated warehouse in Busan, her days and nights spent with canvas and paint. Its exactly what she’s ever wanted, to be left alone. And yet, that nagging feeling of incompletion keeps her on her toes. And perhaps, it is that longing for something substantial, something real that pushes her to give her flawed but lovable ex-husband another chance.
Chapter 9
 “I… No. Just… please tell him I’ll be down…I’ll come down to the lobby to meet him.” I said quickly, panicking at the idea of having him here. I’d barely been here a day but this was still my space. And if I had him here then his scent would just seep into every nook and corner. 
The room would smell like him then… And what would I do after he left?
God, what was I even thinking? Head swimming, I crawled to the edge of the bed and breathed shakily. 
It felt surreal, climbing out of the bed and moving to the vanity . I stared at myself in the mirror as I grabbed the makeup bag I kept with me all the time. Wide eyes and parted lips, creamy gold skin turning lily white because of how the blood had just drained after that phone call. 
I looked petrified .
Jungkook… I thought numbly. Jungkook’s waiting downstairs and I’m going to see him. 
What is he thinking.... What is he feeling... why is he even here? 
You’re not responsible for his emotions, Taehyung’s soothing voice in my head helped a bit but not a whole lot. What about my emotions, I though desperately, grabbing the tube of gloss and slowly uncapping it. I ran the end of it over my lips and felt my fingers tremble because I didn’t know why I felt this need …to look beautiful.
I didn’t need to, I though miserably. Everyone knew omegas were beautiful. Beta supermodels were beautiful yes but they couldn’t hold a candle to me, at least for someone like  Jungkook. He was an alpha, his brain was built to find me attractive. I had evolutionary genetics on my side, which mean that if I ever actually wanted to seduce Jungkook , he wouldn’t really stand a chance .
But I didn’t want that.
I had had enough of that. Enough of seeing handsome, rich alphas being reluctantly attracted to me. They made it obvious too. Most of the hate mail I got stemmed from angry wives or girlfriends accusing me of seducing their men , even though  I’d never so much as laid my eyes on them. It was so unfair. 
I didn’t enjoy watching them lose their minds at the sight and scent of me, because i knew that deep down,  they thought that all omegas were scum. 
Manipulative, sex driven , greedy and selfish . Those were the labels I got plastered with , on the media and on the streets. 
And Jungkook wasn’t different, I reminded myself firmly, pulling away from the mirror and grabbing the loose powder and dusting down some of it on the apple of my cheeks and down the length of my nose. 
He didn’t think any different than the others. Jungkook’s views on omegas were just as archaic and bigoted as everyone else’s .
He just didn’t act on them .
Sighing, I dropped the lipgloss back in the back and brushed my hair off my face. On a whim , I pulled off the hair tie holding the thick strands together, letting the wavy tresses fall over my shoulder. I hadn’t cut my hair in a long time and it felt to my hips now. My stylist was adamant that it added to my aesthetic.
  A primal siren, she had said staring at me in awe, like something eternal and beautifully dangerous. We’re lucky you seem incapable of hate, Heejin ...because I think you could bring grown men to their knees with that body and that face. 
I felt nauseous at the thought of it.   
Walking to the elevator felt like walking the plank and I had stop a couple of times, just to breathe deeply. I had to be smart about this. I was in therapy. Taehyung had taught me how to handle situations like this and while my heart was pounding too hard and my brain was too scrambled to use any of his therapy techniques, I still had some of my cognitive abilities intact. 
He came here, i thought desperately. 
He came looking for you and that means he isn’t nervous or worried or overthinking this because he doesn’t have feelings for you. If you want to come out of this  unscathed, you need to get your head on straight. You need to pretend that you didn’t just have a minor mental breakdown at the thought of him dating someone else. 
I took a deep breath, exhaling sharply before stepping into the elevator. The ride down to the lobby was barely a few seconds and when I stepped out, I realized the place was way too crowded for such an exclusive Hotel. And then I remembered that people were here for the Art Festival. I glanced at the reception desk, covertly, noting a conspicuous lack of Jeon Jungkook. The lady behind the desk held her hand up when she spotted me .
“Ms. Kim? Mr. Jeon just went to get you a drink...He’s over by the breakfast counter over there.” She pointed out the dining space where people were walking about getting breakfast and I swallowed, feeling hot and cold as I cautiously stepped into the crowd, trying to find a that familiar head of thick dark hair. 
I felt the apprehension build as I tugged on my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to reign in the chaos in my mind but it was impossible, everything too loud and too messy. I looked around and then, it hit me. 
His scent. 
I felt my lips part in surprise, and it felt like someone had turned the volume down , noises fading into a dull hum at the back of my mind as I stared at him. He hadn’t spotted me yet and I took a second to just....look.
He looked incredible.
There was really no other word for it. Incredibly handsome, Incredibly beautiful and so incredibly perfect as the late morning sun lit up the room, picking out the shine on his white silk shirt. I breathed in deep, my mindeasily picking out the musky pine scent of him and I stepped closer, moving straight towards him and I caught the exact moment my scent his senses.
He jerked a bit, nostrils flaring and eyes going wide before he turned, lips parted and gaze a bit unfocused as he looked around.
When he caught sight of me, he just blinked. 
I smiled weakly, body going limp with relief because.... because this was Jungkook. Not some monster I had to run from. This was Jungkook....even at his worst he had been better than some of the other people I’d met in life. 
I looked down at the drink in his hand and smiled a bit as he made his way over. 
“ This isn’t the same as buying me a coffee.” I said shakily as he finally stepped upto me.
His eyes danced with warmth. 
“What makes you think I can afford one? Besides, aren’t you the hotshot artist? Shouldn’t you be the one buying me stuff?” He said softly. 
“Just saw you on the front cover of a magazine. We both know you’re far from destitute..” Even through the smile, I felt the tug of emotion as I stared at him, felt the difference in him like night and day, the light and joy and ...contentment that seemed to radiate off him .
He smiled and held the drink out to me gently.
“ Heejin-ah.” He whispered. 
And somehow it was the sound of his voice, wrapping around the syllables of my name that finally did it. 
I felt the tears brim over, my lips parting in choked laughter as I stepped close and wrapped both my arms around him, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. I felt him hold me, infinitely gentle and I exhaled sharply.
“I didn’t miss you,  at all.” I said shakily. He laughed lightly. 
“I missed you , too.” He stroked the back of my head gently and I sighed, fingers curling on the silk of his shirt. The fabric felt like liquid in my fingers and I played with it for a second, intensely aware that people were starting to stare. That this embrace had gone on for longer than social norms dictated but I couldn’t bring myself to care, letting my chin rest against his shoulder blades. 
And it was almost frightening.....how easy it was to pretend we weren’t broken at all. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“She was so small when I last held her... I can’t believe she’s running around.” I said, awed, listening to Jungkook tell me about how Mina liked to climb everywhere. He laughed, shaking his head. 
"She’s growing bigger everyday. I can barely keep up.” Jungkook smiled, holding a hand out for me to step over the wooden slats that lined the tiny archway that led to the door to his building. I hesitated before lightly gripping his hand in mine, the gesture somehow feeling more intimate that it was. 
“You’re not staying at the Firenze?” I asked curiously, resisting the urge to reach for his hand again when he let go.
it was such a ridiculous thing but I’d never held hands with him. And It felt ridiculously nice, to slot my fingers with his, feel them in between mine. His palm against mine, calloused but somehow so comforting. 
 I’d forgotten how warm he was.
 Don’t. Don’t fall down this rabbit hole again, Heejin. We talked about this. He doesn’t think of you that way. He doesn’t. And neither should you. its unfair to him. He doesn’t deserve that. 
“No... As you can see my apartment is barely ten minutes away and Soeun has her exams so its easier for her to watch over Mina here at the apartment.
“Soeun?” I asked curiously.
“Park Soeun? She’s a University student who lives with me. She’s doing a correspondence course in fashion . So she’s home all the time and she helps out with Mina. And she speaks Italian so that’s a huge plus... ” He smiled. “ you’ll like her. She’s a good kid.” 
 Don’t make that face. Don’t fucking make that face, Heejin.
I struggled to keep my face straight , like I wasn’t feeling the weight of a dozen bricks at the base of my stomach. 
“A roommate...then..?” I asked quietly and he shrugged.
“Something like that. But mostly she helps take care of Mina when I’m out on an assignment.” He smiled and led me past two flight of stairs up to the studio apartment. 
I wrapped my arms around myself as he stopped in front of a wrought iron grill, gripping one end and sliding it open with ease. And then he rang the small bell n the side. I shuffled back and forth on my foot, heart racing. 
The door opened and I blinked because of how young the girl who opened the door was. A second later she was beaming, moving forward and wrapping both her arms around me.
“Unnie!” She squealed, hugging me so close that I almost choked. Completely thrown I could only gape at Jungkook who was laughing . 
“Oh, I forgot to mention..she’s a bit of a fan. “ He teased lightly and I smiled awkwardly, watching as she pulled back to stare at me, her gaze trained on my face unblinkingly. 
“Whoa...” She reached out and lightly touched my cheek with her forefinger making me jump. She flinched as well, flushing red.
“Shit..sorry...I just... I’ve never... I’ve never met an omega before.” She said softly. “ You’re absolutely breathtaking.”
I felt my heart pound, steeping back instinctively, an overwhelming urge to hide , anxiety pooling in my stomach as she continued to stare at me. I hated the attention and I wrapped my arms around myself. 
“Soeun, enough. Don’t make it weird.” Jungkook said sternly, voice hard and the girl immediately flushed, bowing apologetically. 
“Sorry...I.. sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable ... You’re pretty.” She said again before turning to Jungkook.
“I have to get some stuff for my exhibit, Jungkook oppa... Mina’s asleep. i’ll be staying over at Vince’s place for the night though. Is that okay?”
“Sure..have fun.” Jungkook smiled, “ Vince is her boyfriend.” He explained and Soeun nodded happily. 
“Italian men are absolutely amazing unnie...you should try some.” She winked and I laughed despite myself.
“I just might...” I said with a grin, watching as she walked over to slip on a pair of sneakers from the small shoe closet near the door. She waved enthusiastically all but bouncing away and I blinked at him , shaking my head.
“I feel a hundred years old right now.” I said softly, still stunned by the girl’s exorbitant energy. Jungkook laughed at that
“She definitely has that effect on people... Come on, I’ll show you around.” He held his hand out and I smiled , taking his fingers mine and letting him tug me further into the studio apartment. 
I looked around, taking in the full blown prints of Mina and Jungkook , caught in adorable poses in front of different tourist spots in Florence. I saw how much she looked like Jungkook now, and how openly affectionate they looked together, the love evident even in the still photos. 
And then my eyes fell on a familiar painting , my stomach lurching. 
“You... “ i turned to him in a rush and he was staring at me with a small smile.
“I had to bring that. It pretty much saved me, that painting.” He said casually, stepping close and running his fingers all over the print. 
“When you told me this is how Sooah saw me...” He traced the picture carefully before glancing at me,” it made me realize that Sooah didn’t just want a baby.....she wanted a baby with  me. She saw me as a father. As someone who could raise and nurture a tiny human  and that... that’s amazing isn’t it?” He sighed, staring at me.  
He looked beautiful, I thought with an ache deep inside me. The most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life and it seemed almost too good to be true. That he was here, at reach. So close. I wondered if this was it. This had to be a sign. A sign that we’d come full circle. That it was over. That we could finally break free from all that we’d been through, and look back at Jungkook’s past with fondness instead of pain.
And perhaps, just perhaps I could reach out and touch him with something more than just the love you have for a friend. . Perhaps I could reach out and touch him, without feeling guilt and foreboding.
I exhaled shakily stepping up and running my fingers over the canvas. It was nothing fancy... Just a painting a painting of Jungkook holding Mina up by her waist, high over his head, staring up into her face with all the love and adoration in the world, The child in the painting doesn’t look exactly like Mina, of course, but I’d had no idea , seeing as Sooah had commissioned the painting when she was pregnant. But Jungkook.... Jungkook looked exactly like he did now : Happy and at peace. 
“You’re alright, then?” I asked quietly , a wealth of meaning behind the words and he smiled , nodding gently. 
“I’m fine…” He whispered , “ And I’m so glad I can tell you that, like this. Thank you for coming , Heejin-ah . I know you owe me nothing but.. I wanted to show you that… it wasn’t all bad you know. What we went through… Something good did come out of it.” He whispered.
I choked out a sob.
“I lied.” I whispered. “ I did miss you. Even when I knew I shouldn’t.”
Jungkook’s gaze softened.
“I have a lot to be sorry for. But I don’t want to remind you of those things. I just want you to know that… I understand what you went through…those six months. I understand that it was difficult and painful and i… I’m grateful that you didn’t give up on me. And I’m grateful that you stayed in my life.  Because I know I didn’t deserve that.”
“You deserve to be loved Jungkook.” I said quietly. “ Its not wrong to move on. You deserve to… find happiness again.”
He stared at me, his gaze soft and gentle.
“I can almost believe it, when you say it that way.” He laughed. “ And… you know… I’m not sure if its love. But there’s someone I’ve been…. Well, I can sort of see myself with her. .” He grinned a little, smile boyish as he ran his fingers through his hair. He glanced at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.
Wait… was he going to?....
“ I met her at Taehyung’s practice, a year ago. Her name is Lee Hyorin.” Jungkook looked at me, doe eyes shining with excitement.
And just like that the world ended.
Or so it felt.
It was like being dipped in icy cold water, the shock of it rendering me speechless, lips parted and breath catching in lungs.
Blood rushed through my ears, so fast that I felt lightheaded, my legs nearly giving out. White noise filled my skull, pain lancing sharp through my heart like a thousand paper cuts, and I couldn’t really breathe. It took a few seconds…. For my heart to catch up with what my mind had just processed. And when it finally did, the pain was so excruciating, I had to clench my fists, nails digging into the flesh of my palm to ground myself.
“She’s an alpha…and she lost her husband around the same time Sooah passed..” Jungkook gave me a soft smile. “ She’s actually a curator at one of the museums here. She’s the one who made all the arrangements for me to move here to Florence. ”
“Wow… That’s…” devastating,. “ That’s good news. Jungkook.. I.. How long…” My voice cracked, and I had to swallow. “ How long have you guys been dating?”
“About three months now. We’re taking it very slow, because we aren’t really ready. She has a son too. He’s three years old. Mina loves him so that’s a plus.” He laughed.
My lungs constricted, breathing difficult and my head swam because ….. what. Realization set in so quickly, I was left reeling. I was in love with this bastard, I thought miserably. So in love with him that it felt like he was shredding my heart into ribbons. Every word of his mouth felt like a sharp deep stab, straight through the center of my heart and the pulsing, beating organ was on the verge of giving out.
“She’s going to be there at the dinner tonight at the Festival. She’s one of the organizers by the way. She’s kind of the reason I got in, I think.” He laughed , looking abashed and what a load of bull that was. Jungkook was successful and well known. Superbly talented at his chosen field. She was lucky to have him.
How can she have him when I’m the one who fixed him? How is that fucking fair?
“She really understands the things I’ve been going through, the past few months and because we both still attend therapy with Taehyung, we’re able to talk about a lot of stuff. Stuff I can’t share with others…” Jungkook was saying and I tuned him out, not wanting to hear another word.
I swallowed, choking on bile. I could feel sweat gathering on my scalp, my skin clammy and damp , the air between us shifting into something poisonous and filled with so much dismay, it was a miracle he hadn’t picked up on it.
Couldn’t he sense how distressed I was? Couldn’t he see how his words were hurting? Couldn’t he fucking see that I couldn’t live without him? Why on earth couldn’t he see me the way he apparently saw every other woman on the damn planet…..
Because he’s a shitty Alpha, I thought miserably, willing myself not to burst into tears. He was a shitty excuse for an alpha back then and he’s the same now.
A low, distressed cry began somewhere behind him and he jumped.
“Oh, shit she’s up… come on, Heejin.” He said with a bright smile, turning around and rushing down a small hallway and I willed myself to breathe in deeply, reminding myself that this wasn’t the end of the world. I could get through this. Besides, it was Mina.
Beautiful, perfect Mina who had been there for me. She would see me and she would give me that sweet gummy smile of hers, does eyes twinkling and I would get through this. Because her smile was what was important. Her smile and her joy and her happiness.
The sobbing had slowed down to small hiccups and I stepped past the threshold cautiously, watching as Jungkook bent over the large crib, carefully lifting her out and into his arms. She looked breathtaking, an absolutely gorgeous little girl . I stared, mesmerized as I stepped closer. My arms ached, and my chest tightened. Lips wobbling, I exhaled sharply, moving to reach for her.
She turned to glance at me and just as my fingers brushed her cheek, she recoiled.
Hard.
A loud wail tore through her tiny body and I felt my eyes go wide. Her casual little cry had turned into a sobbing , loud wail and I could smell the distress in her , the fear and distrust as she curled away from me.  Jungkook looked stunned as well, instinctively drawing her close and embracing her, moving away from me because….
Because I was the reason, she was distressed.  
My skin went ice cold at the revelation and I stumbled back, stunned.
“I… I’m sorry.” I choked out, confused and disoriented. Jungkook looked stricken, gently rocking her back and forth and she clung to him, gripping his shirt and I bit my lips, moving further back and I glanced at him, my heart shattering.
“She’s …She’s still sleepy… She doesn’t do well with strangers…” He said softly, looking upset, “ Maybe you could…wait outside…”
Stranger…. Was that what I was?
“I… I’ll go. I’ll just go.” I turned on my heel, rushing out of the door and struggling to breathe in air, my heart clenching so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I felt my knees give out when I reached the couch, dropping down and drawing my knees up , wrapping my arms around my legs . I didn’t know how long I sat there, fighting sobs and choking on air…and when I finally came to myself, the sobs from the room had died out.
“She’s fallen asleep again.” Jungkook’s voice cut through the silence and I couldn’t bring myself to look up. I felt him move closer, felt his scent hit me as he stepped right up to me, kneeling on the floor in front of me.
I looked up at him, lips wobbling as I took in his handsome face.  A face that was so deeply carved into my heart and my soul, I couldn’t imagine living without it. Without him. The tears came then, helpless and endless and so painful.
He pressed in closer, cupping my face in his palms, thumb brushing the tears that spilled over so relentlessly.
“Heejin…” He whispered and I let my fingers curl around his wrist as his thumb kept brushing the curve of my cheeks. I took a deep , shaky breath .
“She doesn’t remember me….  “ I whispered, “ She doesn’t recognize me at all…She hates me……” I choked out , despair filling every last crevice of my insides, gut twisting as I remembered how Mina had twisted away from me, how her scent had soured in distress at the sight of me, at the touch of my fingers.
 And I wondered if it was different with this other woman..Hyorin, wasn’t it? Did Mina climb into her arms with ease? Did she curl into her chest and sleep? The way she used to with me,  when she was a month old and missing the warmth of a mother.. ….
All those nights spent in that tiny nursery, lying on the cold unforgiving floor, watching the rise and fall of Mina’s chest through the dark room…telling myself it was worth it… it was worth being touched against my will, worth being treated like filth by a man driven mad with grief and anger….all because of this baby…this tiny little baby who had needed me….
And now…she didn’t even know who I was…..worse…she was repulsed by the very sight of me… I couldn’t cope.
“Look at me…” Jungkook rasped, voice raw and cracking. “she doesn’t hate you, Heejin… she just … you feel new to her… different…” 
I shook my head, unable to think about anything beyond the sheer devastation that filled me, the way his daughter had pulled away and run, had refused to come anywhere near me. I realized with lancing pain that I’d wanted to see her, way more than I’d wanted to see Jungkook .
Because she was the reason I’d hung on for so long in that marriage which had been the biggest fucking mistake of my life…. the only reason I’d stuck around . Mina …Having her in my arms, her scent against my face, that had been the only genuine happiness I’d experienced  in a marriage filled with sheer , unending misery. 
“I… she… Why doesn’t she remember? “ I breathed, sagging into his arms, tears soaking his shoulders and his palm ran up and down my back.
“Because she was a baby. Heejin…. I left when she was a baby…”
“Why did you?” I snapped. “ Did it hurt you so much? The thought of living under the same sky as me ? Why you did you go?” I demanded.
Jungkook pulled back, hands coming up to grip my shoulder, holding me at arms length.
“Look at me.” He whispered. “ I had to … You know I had to go….I was hurting you. I was… I was draining you of life. Destroying you… “
Jungkook’s words reminded me of who he was. Of who I was… Of who I was to him.
I choked out, sobbing.
“I hate you. You treated me like scum. Like a crutch….. Like some sort of tool to get better and you just left… you…”
You found someone better. You broke me down and now you’ve gone and found someone better….because I was never good enough for you… I was never someone you could love….
“I had to let you go. I had to end that relationship because it was tainted with so much grief and anger and selfishness and greed. I knew that anything I did afterwards would be tainted by my actions… I… I had to make amends, Heejin. And do you think for a second, that it wasn’t the hardest thing I ever did? That walking out on you wasn’t one of the most devastating things I’ve ever experienced? But I did it for us… for this…” 
I stared at him.
“And what is this?” I asked brokenly.
“This is me, being able to touch you like this.” Jungkook pressed a palm to my cheek, “ And not feeling guilt or sadness or grief or loss.  I did it so we could have this…this… This thing where I can look at you and hold you and see that you’re healing. That you’re doing better… That you’re living the life you want…. That you’re happy. This is me standing here , in front of you and smiling because I’m happy too. Happy that you’re here.  ” He exhaled, “ I’m happy that despite all the hurt we’ve been through for and because of each other, I can look at you now and tell you, honestly, that I’m glad to see you.” 
What a joke.. What a fucking joke.
I smiled shakily.
“Well… “ I said softly, my stomach churning because I was done. Done with him and mostly with myself. “ Isn’t that absolutely wonderful.”
His gaze softened and he smiled.
“I want us to be friends, Heejinah. Even though we don’t see or talk to each other, I think of you often. And when Mina’s old enough to understand , I’ll tell her all about you… I want you in our lives. You’re a friend. ”
I stared at him , feeling the words echo in my skull . It left an acrid taste on my senses, the way he put me into this neat little box, friend. So ….insignificant. Everyone had hundreds of friends. There was nothing even remotely special about being someone’s friend.
Friend just meant replaceable and forgettable. And just like Mina didn’t remember me…. Someday Jungkook wouldn’t either. The knowledge filled my veins spreading all over my body and leaving a fierce, heavy ache in my chest.
It was my fault, I thought despondently. My fault because I had been an idiot.
Jungkook was the sane one here , I thought miserably. These nine months, while I’d been dwelling on him and worrying for him…he had done the healthy thing , by moving on with someone he could actually envision a future with….
What had I done, these past nine months? Dreamt up a fantasy world where somehow we found our way back to each other and built a life together… It seemed so foolish now, in the light of Jungkook’s words and his confession….
Jungkook had done all of this, not for me…but for himself. For his daughter whom he loved and for his wife , whose memory he wanted to honor. And perhaps it was my own delusion that made me think that I’d played some stellar role in his healing…. Maybe if I hadn’t been there, he would have gotten better just the same…. Maybe I hadn’t been a tool …as much as a hindrance …to his healing.
I shook my head, bitterness coating my tongue.
“I should get going.” I whispered , voice shaking.
This is it, I told myself. This is the last time you look at him with that heaviness in your heart. You deserve better. You deserve… a lot of things. And just because people don’t give it to you doesn’t mean you have to settle for less……
“So soon? Hyorin will be back in a couple of hours… I could show you some of my work, and we could get lunch ….”
I shook my head quickly. I didn’t want to meet her in his home. Didn’t want to see him being domestic and affectionate and …normal with her when all I’d ever seen was Jungkook in his anger and grief, either yelling abuses or gripping me with a lust that was tainted with violence and rage. I stared at his hands, the ones I’d liked holding….
How did I forget? That those were the same hands that had held me down and done things that should, rightfully have landed him in prison?
I shook my head, to clear the images out of my head. Looking at him now,  Jungkook looked eager, happy and healed. And I realized that he’d just pushed all of his own actions out of his mind. Forgotten all about it. And that was fair. He probably didn’t even remember any of it. He had been drunk out of his mind, lost in his head and surely, forgetting must’ve been easy… A relief.
I didn’t begrudge him that.
But…
I hadn’t been drunk. I’d been stone cold sober under him on that bed and so, maybe forgetting didn’t come that easily for me. And I was glad that Jungkook could move on and be happy but….
But I couldn’t stay here and pretend that it was the same for me. I wasn’t happy or healed, I thought miserably. And maybe , maybe the sight of him moving on was a sign that I had to stop thinking that healing meant going back to him and his daughter.
“Heejin… What’s wrong? Is it because of Mina.. she’s just not used to…” He began but I quickly pressed a palm to his chest, smiling.
“Strangers.” I said softly. “ I know. That’s not it… You know I have to introduce my exhibit at dinner tonight. I don’t know what the itinerary is or what I’m supposed to say…. None of it.. I need to meet my agent and prep myself a bit. Its alright…I’ll see you tonight.” I said softly.
“I’m sorry… I can’t walk you back because Mina-“
“Of course. Don’t worry about it…. I’ll just…”
The doorbell rang, startling me.
“Jungkook!” A strong voice called out and I went still.
“Hyorin?” Jungkook’s face lit up and I felt my stomach churn. God, the universe really was against me wasn’t it? Sighing in defeat, I wrapped my arms around myself, sitting back down on the couch and waiting.
Behind me , I could hear hushed whispers, soft laughter and shuffling feet. My mouth went dry.
“Ms. Kim….”
I turned around, greeted by the sight of a tall, strapping young woman, pretty by any standards. She was dressed in a pant suit , her hair long and straight, hitting the top of her shoulders. She looked smart… Important.
“Ms. Lee… Its nice to meet you.”
She held her hand out and I shook it gently.  Jungkook smiled at her fondly and his phone rang from somewhere inside the studio.
“Hang on that’s probably Soeun…” He smiled at me and moved away and I watched him leave before shifting my gaze to Hyorin, who was staring down at me with a small smile.
“Are you here in Italy by yourself? Or with one of your many …uh… patrons ?” She smirked.
I blinked.
“Patrons?” I asked softly. “ Excuse me?”
“Jungkook and I’ve been following all the stories about you, back in Korea. You get around quite a lot… don’t you? Every alpha within a 100 mile radius wants a piece of the lovely Kim Heejin… And honestly, could anyone blame them? You look exquisite.”
I stared at her, stunned. The implication was so obvious that I would be an idiot not to realize what she was hinting at. So this was the woman , Jungkook chose? Yet another prejudiced bigot?
I laughed a bit, feeling my heart sink.
“I’m not seeing anyone. If that’s what you’re asking.” I said quietly.
Hyorin smirked at that.
“Of course you aren’t… We all know that isn’t really something your kind does… monogamy, right?”
“Do you have a problem with me Hyorin ssi?” I asked roughly and she laughed.
“Oh come on.. we’re all adults, here. And Heejin, you  agreed to be a part of this festival, knowing full well, that’s what we think . Its because deep down you know I’m right….. Omegas can’t stay with one alpha. They need sex to survive and they are usually open to it with anyone. Not that I’m blaming you or judging you for it. It’s just how you’re built.”
I smiled wide, ignoring the urge to claw at her face. .
“Well, you’ve definitely got me all figured out haven’t you? “ I shook my head, glancing at Jungkook who was making his way over.
“What are you talking about?” He asked curiously and I smiled, glancing at her.
“ Hyorin ssi was just telling me how my sub gender makes it impossible for me to not go around whoring with every alpha I see…….” I glanced at him and Jungkook straightened, looking stunned, “ Well, I hope you two enjoy your beautiful monogamous relationship with each other something an omega like me can only fantasize about…. Right Jungkook?” I smiled and he looked completely lost.
“Wait…What? Hyorin what did you say?” He demanded and she was glaring at me now.
“Please don’t take it personally, I was only talking about omegas in general. “ Hyorin frowned, before bowing and moving away to stalk off in the direction of the bedrooms and I watched her, feeling dirty and terrible.
“Heejin, ignore her.. she’s just old fashioned and-“
“Is that what you’re going to call it?” I snapped and Jungkook froze.
“Heejin…”
I shook my head in disbelief.
“I’m not upset about what she said. I’m upset that she feels comfortable enough, spouting that bullshit to me , in your house. Makes me wonder what else she’s told you about omegas, and how much of it you probably agreed with.”
Jungkook stared at me , lips parted.
“I… I don’t feel that way. You know that.” He said stiltedly.
“Do I? All I know is that she knows about me, about who I am and apparently, she can call me a slut…. In front of you, without worrying about it upsetting you. And that tells me you’re as much of a bigot as she is.”
“Heejin… You know that’s not it. We all grow up being fed certain things and –“
“But you did grow up right?” I snapped. “ you grew up and you can think and act for yourself. As can she. Once you’re an adult, you don’t have a single fucking excuse for being racist or homophobic or bigoted because being an adult means having the ability to unlearn the toxic things you’ve been taught and relearn how to be a decent fucking human.”
I shook my head as he stared at me.
“And you know what…please just… just don’t call me or consider me as a friend.” I laughed. “ Because I don’t think I can consider you one. Not anymore. You can’t…...You can’t just love certain parts of me and be disgusted by others you know? I don’t need a friend who can care about me and love me and help me as long as he can forget that I’m an omega….. I need a friend who can love every jagged, broken , part of me. Who can call out people who talk bullshit at me , who can look someone in the eye and tell them they’re wrong when they’re calling me names  and that’s not who you are……. You’re not it.” I snapped.
Jungkook looked stricken, reaching out to hold me and I stepped away, annoyed.
“I’m sorry, Heejin, you’re right … I’ll talk to her… I’ll…” He began but I shook my head.
“Whatever.  Just don’t call me a friend. We can’t be friends. Let’s just be what we always were , yeah? A big fucking mistake that never should have happened.”
I stormed out of the door, shaking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What do you mean, there are no flights available for today?” I snapped. “Tell them money isn’t an issue. I need to get out of this place right now.”
Minho looked incredibly stricken, hair messy from how often he’d run his fingers through.
“ We just arrived seven hours ago, Hee. Of course there’s no flight yet…. We can stay another day…attend the dinner and-“
“No.” I snapped. “ Absolutely not. I’m not here because they find my art good  or worth putting up. I’m here because they know the alphas around here will want to pay more , to pour in more cash for a chance with me.” I held the embossed booklet up, waving it in his face.
“Heejin…” He protested but I shook my head.
“ Did you see the cost to get into my pane ?. Extra ….for alphas? And yet…apparently they had to pre book it and its filled? You think any of the lecherous bastards who paid money to see me , gives a shit about my art?  And apparently, there’s a meet and greet, for alphas only if they purchase seven or more paintings worth over 10000 Euros. Do you think, that’s what I’m worth?”
Minho looked down at his shoes, ashamed.
“I .. I’m sorry, Hee. You’re right. Its offensive . And an insult to your art and talent. We shouldn’t have come here, you’re right. And I regret it… But just… give me a few hours, yeah? I’ll find a way to get us out of here….”
I exhaled sharply, exhaustion weighing heavy on my head. I felt like I’d taken a pounding, physically and mentally and I wondered how a day that had started so well, could go so wrong, so fast…
Shaking my head, I trudged wearily to the elevator, knocking on the buttons before sagging against the wall, letting my eyes flutter shut.
Jungkook was dating.
Jungkook was dating. His girlfriend thought I was a slut and here I was about to prove her right.
I wanted to slit someone’s throat.
Sighing, I watched the door slide open, grabbing my keys out of my bag,  and moving to the suite. I opened the door before making a beeline for the bed. I collapsed on the soft duvet, groaning. I was torn between wanting to call Taehyung to yell at him about Jungkook and calling Minho to demand an update on the flights.
I was spared the dilemma when the phone in the room rang. Groaning, I moved to swat at the phone, turning on the speaker.
“Ms. Kim? There’s a Mr. Jeon here to see you?”
I blinked, feeling disbelief swell inside me. Did he not get the hint?
Annoyed, I sat up.
“Send him up.” I said, in no mood to go all the way down to see him.
“Up?” She sounded surprised, “ To your room?”
“Yes. To my room. Is that a fucking problem?” I growled, annoyed.
“Not at all Ms. Kim. He’ll be right up.”
I got out of bed, shrugging off my jacket and taking off my dress as well. It was a little damp because I’d sweated through the fabric. I grabbed one of my oversized t shirts , slipping it on and moving to open the door before retreating back to the inner room. Feeling annoyed, I walked up to the vanity and grabbed the hair brush, running the bristles through my locks. I heard his footsteps outside and stiffened.
“If you’re here to defend your shitty girlfriend, you can just leave Jungkook. I swear to God, I’ve had enough of this.” I shouted. He didn’t reply and my hackles rose.
“Listen, I’m sorry if I said something harsh-“ I froze when I reached the doorway, staring at the man in front of me. He had a large , almost humongous bouquet of wild orchids and roses in his hand and I stared at his face.  
This was definitely not Jungkook.
“Umm… hi.” The man bowed awkwardly, his gaze going straight to my legs, where my t shirt ended, just a couple of inches past my waist. I felt the blood rush to my face.
“Who are you…Get out !!!” I shouted, horrified, diving for my jacket and holding it up against my bare thighs. The man held both his hands up, eyes wide..
“I’m sorry… I… you said I could come up to your room….” He protested and I scowled, confused.
“What? “ I stared, stunned… “ Who…what?”
“I’m Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo. I’m uh….one of the sponsors for this festival. And a fan. Huge fan.” He was staring at me beseechingly and I felt my head begin to throb.
The sheer relentlessness of this day…..
“I… Mr. Jeon…” So weird, God, “ There’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not…. I thought you were someone else.”
“Jungkook yes…your ex husband, right? You were married to him for six months after he lost his wife….. He’s also one of the artists exhibiting their work here.” He nodded quickly, running long fingers through thick glossy hair, lips parting in a hesitant smile and I stared at him.
“How do you know all that? ” I demanded, heart pounding. He immediately held his hands up again.
“I’m sorry… I sound like a stalker, shit. But Trust me I’m not. I just am a huge fan.. I looked up some stuff about you….before.” He shuffled a bit awkwardly, finally looking up at me.
I tried to catch his scent. No scent to speak of. A beta then. Relaxing just a bit, I swallowed. At least I wasn’t in any immediate danger. But still, I had no intention of letting him see me in nothing but a t shirt. Embarrassed, I gripped the jacket tighter.
“Why are you here?” I demanded angrily, taking in his appearance. He didn’t look like a hoodlum or someone dangerous. He was good looking, dressed in a white t shirt and black Jacket over plain black slacks. His shoes looked expensive and I didn’t miss the shiny Rolex on his wrist either,.
“Well, for one thing I own the Hotel.” He chuckled and that made my stomach turn. “And also like I said, I’m one of the main sponsors for the Festival itself.”
“Right.” I was too disoriented to process this, head throbbing. “Of course. Is there a reason why you wanted to see me?”
“I was downstairs…just now… I couldn’t help but overhear you with your agent. You wanted to leave as soon as possible. To pull out of the event and I’m just here to try and change your mind, Ms. Kim.” He smiled earnestly and I realized he was really quite young.
I sighed.
“Could you… Could you wait outside? I want to put some clothes on before we talk any further.” I said tiredly and he bowed quickly.
“Uh… These…I’ll just leave these here.” He placed the large bunch of flowers on the table before quickly leaving the room and I swore, racing to the suitcase in the corner. I quickly grabbed a pair of jeans, slipping them on hastily and zipping myself up before glancing at the mirror again. This would have to do.
I moved to the door and opened it, finding him right there, looking lost.
“I… come in, please.” I said hesitantly and he bowed again, moving in and waiting for me to close the door and take a seat on the couch, before sinking into an arm chair across from me.
“Did you see the itinerary? It doesn’t get more sexualized than this.” I waved the booklet and he flushed.
“I understand you’re upset about … certain things. I’m sorry that you feel objectified , in the festival. It wasn’t the intention I had when I first told Hyorin and the others that I wanted them to invite you. But , I’ve been busy the past month, and I didn’t go over the complete agenda. If I did, I definitely would have made sure that you were treated with just as much respect as the others. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do now, but I’ve had a word with all of the panelists and also the hosts. We won’t entertain any question or comments of a sexual nature and if anyone tries to insinuate anything , I’ll have them removed from the panel myself. “ He said firmly.
“I’m only here because you told me you would exhibit my mother’s works too.” I said sharply and he bowed.
“ Your mother’s works are just as exquisite and I’ve arranged for them to be displayed right at the center of the arena, with a running slide show of her childhood , her art technique and the great love she had for her daughter.” He said firmly.
I could only stare. He sounded incredibly sincere and there was no mistaking the earnestness in his tone.
“I’m….” I bit my lips, “  Listen, Mr. Jeon, I’m flattered but honestly, I never wanted to be here. I… there was … something else that made me want to come and well, that turned out to be a huge mistake. To be honest, I’m not sure if I have it in me to suffer through days of people treating me like I’m some kind of sex crazed bimbo.” I shook my head.
“how about this.? You let me be your date for tonight and you let me display your work, today at the dinner itself. I’ll be right by your side. And then, I’ll have my private jet on standby and we can fly back to Korea. You deserve the spotlight, Heejin and I want people to see how good you are at what you do. I don’t care if I lose money over this… As long as you’re comfortable. ”
I gawked at him, stunned.
“Private Jet?” I choked out. “ Okay, now I’m genuinely concerned.”
He laughed.
“I’m a Hotelier, and I have properties all over the world and I like to inspect them personally most of the time. Its more practical to have a private jet than to try and align my schedules with everyone else.” He smiled.
“Right. Convenient.” I shook my head. “ I’m no stranger to excessive wealth, Mr. Jeon and trust me, it’s always left a  sour taste in my mouth.”
“I don’t flaunt my wealth, Ms. Kim. These clothes? Got them on the streets of Florence. I drive a Mazda. Wealth has no meaning to me. People do. People like you, who bring beauty into the world with their craft. You’ve made my world beautiful and I just want to repay , in some way.” He smiled,  “ Also,  You’re very  beautiful.” He added and then immediately looked away. “ I’m sorry. That was… dumb . I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”
Endeared against my own wishes, I found myself fighting a small smile.
“Just tonight’s dinner?” I asked quietly.
“Just the dinner party.” He assured me quickly.
“Alright. But I’m not getting into any private Jet. My agent will book me tickets and I’ll find my way back to Korea.”
“As you wish. I’ll pick you up at seven. What color is your dress?” He asked casually and I blinked.
“Uh… Wine red? I guess? Why?”
He grinned, looking boyishly handsome.
“I’ll see you at seven, Ms. Kim.”
He bowed, before pausing by the bouquet. He grabbed a couple of  flowers, holding them up for me to see.  
“Daffodils and Lilacs.” He grinned, “ To finding something new to love. And to new beginnings.”
Wow.
Subtle.
I shook my head, momentarily forgetting all about Jungkook as I grinned all the way back to the bedroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I told you… coming with me will earn you major points.” Wonwoo smirked as he pulled me in by my waist , holding my dress up for me as I stared at the sleek black limousine at the Hotel entrance. I watched as he held my wrist gently, latching a string of sterling silver and red rubies around the delicate curve of it.
“This is too lavish…I don’t want this…Who are you?” I demanded, flushing because of the way the flashes went off in every direction, reporters scrambling when they caught sight of him. He was clearly popular, if the number of photos being clicked were any indication. I regretted everything.
Wonwoo pressed a kiss to my wrists, right near the bracelet and gently placed my palm on the curve of his elbow, leading me over to the car and I watched the chauffeur open the door for us.  
“ Someone who can get anyone here fired. Be careful , sweetheart.” I watched in mute horror as he bent low, picking up the hem of my skirt so I wouldn’t trip, while climbing into the limousine. The reporters began whispering excitedly and more flashes went off . My face completely red, I hastened to climb in.
“These people look at you like you’re some kind of King.” I stared out of the tinted windows seeing the sheer multitude of people and Wonwoo chuckled.
“ That’s because I am. At least for tonight. And that’s why I’m the perfect guy to protect you Heejin. They’re all terrified of me.” He winked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jungkook found me, fifteen minutes into the event. I hung by the large archway, near an alcove, sipping champagne and nibbling on some hors d’oeuvre as people threw glances at me. I noticed the conspicuous lack of a date on his arm and straightened, sighing and bracing myself for more unpleasantness as he picked his way through the crowd, eyes trained on me.
“Can we talk?” He said, the minute he was at hearing distance and I exhaled.
“No.” I said casually and he made a noise of impatience.
“Fucking, hell Heejin..just…” He swore again, looking upset. “ Why are you doing this to me? What do you want from me huh?”
I stared at him in disbelief.
“What do I want from you? Oh, fuck off Jungkook. I want nothing from you.” I snapped, turning on my heel, ready to leave but his hand shot out, gripping me right above my elbow, fingers curling in hard.
“Fuck.. listen. I don’t know what she said to you. I .. I’m sorry if she offended you…. Alright? She’s an alpha… I can’t change the way she thinks…”
“I didn’t ask you to. I merely said that if you associate yourself with people who think I’m scum, I won’t let you into my life. Because I respect myself too much for that.” I said firmly.
“She doesn’t think you’re scum, Heejin come on. She just has some misconceptions about certain things.”
“God, Jungkook…just stop. Alright? Stop. Because I’m not asking you do anything. I’m leaving on a flight tomorrow morning and you’ll never see me again. That’s all there is to it.”
He froze at that, fingers curling harder around my arm and it hurt, the skin turning red. Stupid fucker, never knew his own strength.
“Ow, Jungkook let go.” I whispered, and he did, albeit reluctantly.
I rubbed at the bruised skin, furious. I watched as the redness healed over, the pain fading to a throb and then into a pleasant heat and I hated it. Hated that being an omega meant that Jungkook’s rough touch turned to pleasure on my skin.
“What do you mean you’re leaving tomorrow? The Festival is for two weeks.”
I sighed.
“I didn’t come here for the festival. I came here to see you. To see if you were as hung up on me as I was on you…but apparently not.” I snapped.
Jungkook went perfectly still at that.
“What the fuck does that mean?” He said softly and I laughed, shaking my head.
“Wow. You really never even considered it huh? Us? Together.?” It wasn’t funny at all, but I could only laugh. Probably because I’d been so sure.. So certain that there was something there.
He opened his mouth to answer but I felt a warm solidness behind me, an arm wrapping around my waist and a second later, Wonwoo was there pressing up against me.
“Jungkook-ssi… Such a pleasure to meet you.” He held his hand out, and Jungkook frowned, his eyes trained on where wonwoo’s fingers curled around my waist.
“Get your hands off her.” He said shortly and Wonwoo blinked, pulling away from me and stepping back .
“What the-? No. Fuck you.” I snapped, glaring at Jungkook before grabbing Wonwoo’s hand and bringing it back around me. “Don’t you fucking dare take your hands off.” I held my finger up at his face and Wonwoo looked momentarily stunned.
“Really, Heejin? You’re doing this?” Jungkook glared at me. “ We need to talk.”
“So talk.” I snapped. “ Tell me why you think a bigoted bitch is the best you can do in terms of dating. Tell me why she’s the only one who can ‘ understand’ “ I made air quotes, shaking my head, “ You think you and your shitty have monopoly on grief Jungkook? I’ve lost people too. Just because I haven’t screwed other people over because of it, doesn’t make my grief invalid….yeah.”
Ringing silence followed and I regretted everything.
“Fuck.” I whispered, shaking my head. “ I .. Shit. I need to get out of here.”
I pulled away from Wonwoo, moving out of the huge ballroom and Jungkook was right behind me, of course he was.
“Heejin…fuck. Wait. You’re right. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t understand me. Of course you did. Its why you stuck around… I know that. And you’re right, she had no business talking about you like that. I’ll have a word with her… But…”
I sped up, wanting to get away but he grabbed me again, tugging me closer out of the hall way and into a darkened alcove and I flinched when he pushed me up against the wall, caging me in, as he pressed in closer.
“What did you mean by that?” He demanded, hands coming up to grip my waist, curling gently and my chest heaved at the touch of him, the enclosed space making his scent turn potent, strong and impossible to avoid. My nostril flared as I breathed him in, familiar and yet so foreign, comforting and yet so fucking dangerous.
“By what?” I snapped and his hands moved up, shaping the curves of my body , thumb grazing the tip of my breast and making me jump, before moving up, gripping my face, gently. He pressed his thumb into my lower lip, rubbing back and forth, face impossibly close and I swallowed, throat sandpaper dry.
“About us? Together….” He breathed and I exhaled shakily.
“You know what I meant.” I whispered. “ If you don’t then I can’t explain it.” I whispered and he swore, head dropping against mine, forehead resting against mine, and lips less than a hairsbreadth away.
We’ve never kissed, I thought suddenly. I licked my lips, turning my face away but his fingers gripped my chin at once, yanking me around to stare at him again.
“Look at me, baby. Tell me… You thought about us together?” He whispered .
I breathed shakily.
“Of course I did…. “ I snapped.
“Then clearly therapy isn’t working for you.” He snapped right back and I flinched.
“What-“
Jungkook pulled away staring at me.
“ Do you even remember all the shit I did to you?” He asked quietly. My stomach dropped.
“Jungkook.”
“I broke your ribs.” He said calmly. I swallowed.
“That.. That was an accident. You didn’t mean to.” I protested. “ And we’re past all that… I don’t… I don’t blame you for it.” I said, which was honest enough.
“And what about the nights I got drunk, Heejin….” He said softly and my skin went cold.
“That… That was just… It was just an outlet for your grief… “ I looked away and he scoffed.
“You’re calling it an outlet for grief. I believe the world calls it rape.”
I felt my entire body shiver at the word , moving up to wrap my arms around his neck, trying to pull him close but he was stiff as a board.
“ Don’t” I snapped. “ Don’t …. Its over…it’s in the past.”
“It was still me. I was the one who did it and I can’t… I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”
I pulled away to glare at him.
“So , what? You won’t give us a chance because of something I’ve already forgiven you for?”
“Yes.” He said shortly. “ Because you may have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.”
I felt my body sag in disbelief.
“Jungkook that’s-“
“You deserve better. You always have. I’m not… I don’t deserve someone like you Heejin. You’re kind and breathtaking and I’m just… a broken mess of a man who’s barely getting by.”
“Oh, right… So broken.” I scoffed. “ You’re on the front page of magazines, you have a successful career and a beautiful girlfriend,,,,forgive me if I’m not breaking my heart over your failures.”
Jungkook exhaled shakily before looking up at me.
“  You wanna know the truth about me, Heejin-ah?” He swallowed. “ I just got out of rehab last week.”
I went still.
“What?” I was sure I’d misheard.
“I… I came here and about a month or so in…I started drinking again…” He glanced away and my heart turned over inside me.
“Jungkook, what?” I demanded, horrified.
“I got drunk and got into an argument with a cop. I hit him. They found out I was a single father and-“ He shook his head, “ I got arrested for disorderly conduct , Public intoxication and assault.”
I stared at him in disbelief, unable to keep the disappointment out of my tone.
“ Arrested for assault... Jungkook why?” I breathed and he flushed.
“I know…. It was stupid.. I… I was stupid.” He said softly.  “Soeun isn’t a baby sitter. She’s a social worker. She’s here to keep an eye on me because they want to make sure I’m not a threat to Mina. If I slip up, they’ll deport me back home and then the state will likely take her away from me. Soeun likes me….so she agreed to lie to you ……And as for the girlfriend…” He laughed, shaking his head, “ Hyorin broke up with me after I got arrested. We’re not… We’re not dating. She was only there to get some prints for the panel tomorrow.” He finished shakily.
I stared at him.
“Why?” I demanded . “ Why would you lie to me… Jungkook ….”
“Because I didn’t want you to think I was a screw up.” He said shakily. “ I know I’m supposed to be getting better and I have but… But sometimes I just…I miss…. I miss home. “ He shuddered. “ And you.”  He looked up at me. “ I miss you a lot, Heejin and it hurts and I feel like the only way I can forget about you…about us together is if I drink. And I’m sorry. I know I don’t have the right to miss you, not after everything I put you through but I… it’s how I feel. ” He glanced away, trembling a little.
I wrapped my arms around myself, stepping away, feeling myself go cold.
We stayed quiet for a few seconds, both of us staring at the floor lost in our own thoughts. I felt drained. Miserably so. Like someone had sucked all the strength out of me. I realized how badly I had wanted Jungkook to be okay. To heal and be himself again. And I’d spent the last nine months, fully convinced that he was. That he was doing what he loved, bonding with his daughter building a life for himself.
But apparently, he was also spiraling back into addiction as well.
It was like we were back in that apartment, both of us miserable  but desperate to be something we clearly were not : Okay.
“Does Taehyung know?” I asked finally and Jungkook hesitated before nodding.
“He was at my court hearing three weeks ago. He’s the reason I haven’t already lost her.” Jungkook whispered.
“What did he say?”
“He thinks I should come back to Korea.” Jungkook said quietly. “ He wants me to start therapy again with him. Every week. “
I nodded.
“Fair enough. And what do you think?”
“I think I will. My probation ends in three days. I’ll… I’ll start making arrangements afterwards. I’ll probably be back in a few weeks time. ”
I stared at him, finally seeing the things I hadn’t noticed this morning. The shadows beneath his eyes, the worry lines on his brow. I wondered if he would have ever told me the truth, if not for this little confrontation between us.
Silence descended again and I bit my lips, a million thoughts running through my head. I felt the pull of his scent through it all, an instinctive urge to reach out and touch and draw him close and I wondered if this was it. That for the rest of our lives we would just be drawn to each other, reluctant and hurt but unable to stay away.
“You’re leaving tomorrow then?” He asked quietly breaking through the fog in my head.  
“Well obviously not.” I snapped. “ I’m not leaving you. I’ll tell Minho, we’ll be staying here for a few weeks. Do you actually have a possible job back home? If you don’t I can ask my agent to find one for you….”
Jungkook was staring at me like I’d grown an extra head.
“ What?” I asked roughly.
He swallowed.
“No.. I .. I don’t have a job there.”
“We’ll get you one. And my apartment is big enough so you can stay with me till we find you a place of your own. And I think it’ll actually be good for you, because there’s a Fine Art photographer, pretty well know guy who stays just a few blocks away and e can probably- “
“You haven’t really changed have you?” Jungkook cut me off in the middle of my rambling .
I flushed, looking away.
“What do you mean?”
“Back when we were married… it was just like this.. I’d fuck up and do something awful and you’d just take it all in stride, get ready to help me out of it….”
“I don’t know what you mean…” I said quickly, “ Let’s go back to the party we’ll talk later-“
He grabbed both my arms, pulling me back to face him when I tried to get past him and I yelped, staring up at him in surprise.
“What?” I demanded. “ What is it now?”
“How do you do this thing, Heejin ?” He asked roughly. “ How do you just get ready to clean up every fucking mess I make like it doesn’t hurt you? Like I don’t hurt you?”
“What are you talking about?” I tried to wriggle out of his hold but he tugged me closer.
“How do you just…” He shook his head, “ accept me so unconditionally? Like… Its like no matter what I do, you’re just willing to look past it and I don’t fucking understand Heejin… why do you put up with me, damn it?”
I stared right at him. Caught his gaze and held it, refusing to look away.
“You know why.” I whispered, licking my lips, throat dry,  “ And if you don’t…. I’m not going to tell you.”
His eyes widened , lips parting and he exhaled sharply, before letting me go and stepping away.
He looked away, shaking a little and I sighed.
“Let’s just get this night over with, yeah?” I said quietly. “ and then we’ll talk.”
He didn’t reply, merely standing aside and motioning for me to leave first.
I shook my head, moving to grip his arm instead.
“Together.” I said firmly. “ We’ll get this night over with, together.”
 Author’s Note : i love these two. i’ve never wanted two people to be together so much. 
@taeshuworld  .@girlinthemikrokosmos  @xius-exos  @sugainfireslex  @yunkichiee@kpopstudybee @ephyraaaa  @peachoney9795 @ggukkieland  @veronawrites  @blr1004   @tinyhoagiepartylover @btsis7okay @squishyjk  @itsdingdong @emmmui  @honeeybunneey  @yeonkiminnie @just-me-and-myselfs  @delicate-snow-flake  @kpop-lore  @beautifulvirgobutterfly @sumzysworld  @btsmylife21  @teresaisla .@melrosaeparker @taestannie @dchimminie  @ meraki–life  @somewhereinthestates  @mawwnsterr  @kookiesbreaky  @chimchoom  
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general-thinks · 3 years
Text
OOODAAAA WHY ARE WE ON HIATUS AGAIN AAAAAAAAHHHH
Ok, now that I took that one out the system, at least we have something Komi related for this week!
I would start talking about the recent @zer0cracy 's animation, but I want to talk about something else before that.
And I'm talking about the Komi-san Live Action adaptation.
Ok, listen, I... I don't like any type of anime live action adaptation. Like, at all.
I-I know there are people that enjoy it, and I can only respect the actors that are so passionate about the source material to do this , but... but I don't know ok? There is just something that I can't pintpoint that makes me so annoyed by them for just existing.
And so, when the news of a Komi san Live Action came, I... I honestly grimaced, and prepared myself for the worst. All I could do was hope they would find some actor similar to the cast, and be the most faithfull to the manga possible.
And so, when today on the subreddit r/Komi_san a 5 minutes teaser dropped, I was already expecting my death, unsure if ignoring it or actually acknowledging its existence.
...I sat down, taking a break every 10-30 seconds due to my visceral hate for Live Actions and my love for Komi san battling againts each other making me feel sick. I felt like Odysseus, roped to his ship to hear the siren's song, a victim to my curiosity, just to have some content to release today and now... *sigh* we need to talk.
Mind you: This is not a mindless bashing. I just want to talk about some decisions and my thought on cast members. And just something to talk about waiting for the next Komi-san chapter.
First off, let's talk about Tadano
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...who is this guy? I said-
.............*sigh*...........
Ok, so, let's start with the obvious: WHERE IS THE WHITE TURF? Ok maybe this is a conscious choice, to make him even more average. I can... I can still accept it.
But... I'm sorry, I don't see Tadano at all watching him. I can see AT BEST Kometani. And another thing is that (as it can be in the actual trailer, sorry I can't share the link with you all) is... too much expressive. I know, it's a weird thing to say, but one of Tadano's charm is how easy going and calm he constantly is, despite the chaos happening around him. But this version, it's too... fidgy? He moves too much, it's like seeing a Tadano not out of his chunni fase yet. Like, as you can see here-
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...ok never mind let's move on and ignore this.
...ehy, wait a minute but behind him there's... hm... maybe it's a coincidence...
In the end, I give this LiveAction!Tadano a 4/10, even below the average. I hope this one was an error in the production of the teaser and he's actually more Tadano-like in the show, but I fear this is not the case. It's not his fault, if it was, I don't know, Naruse, the characterisation would work perfectly, but... this is Tadano...
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Also, as we can see here, Tadano crossing the street, I bet that there is going to be a live adaptation of Yamai's kidnapping too.
Live Action Yamai. Rejoice.
Next one is Komi, and... she kinda works?
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Loyal enough to the original Komi, the haircut is almost the same, the only thing that miss and it shows is the murder gaze. I guess it's not that easy to do, or easy as I think, but maybe put a little more of spirit?
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I don't know, she just looks depressed. And while that's gold for angsty fanfic writers, for an early Komi-san it's not the best. But hey, at least she is similar to Komi! So take this 7/10
Next one is Najimi, and... I don't know what to think of them.
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While at first I was outraged for the missing lavander hair and antennas, watching some scenes with them there made this Live Action version grow on me. They bring a nice energy in the scenes, and it's quirky enough for Komi-san, but...
...It's not chaotic enough, and it's a really big problem for a character like Najimi! It's like a chilled Osana in this teaser, and I'm really, really conflicted about it.
So, in true Najimi's fashion, I'll give to this version a ???/10. I have high hopes for you, don't delude me.
Next one is Katai, and...
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...I FUCKING LOVED HIM.
This is the only actor by far that I think nailed down the manga character perfectly, he's so over the top and failing at being a delinquent that actually makes me think "yeah, if Katai were a real guy, he would be like him." I would die for this guy. Also the homoerotic tension between him and Tadano are even stronger than the one in the manga so that's a plus too
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Explain this, heteroes.
So yeah, LiveAction!Katai deserve the 9/10, get a little more buffer and you'll top the score easily.
And lastly, Naka- no? Ehm... then Yama- no again? But... who else could be here in the class-
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........MANBAGI?????
Ok first thing, the actor works for her. She may be not excactly like our Manbagi, but she looks like a ray of sunshine and like Manbagi she seems like a good and lovable girl. I'm sorry that I couldn't add more photos, but trust me, even in the nurse office scene her vibes just worked. I'll give to LiveAction!Manbagi a 8/10.
But now, let's adress the elephant in the classroom.
THEY ADDED THE FIRST YEAR AND SECOND YEAR CLASSROOMS IN ONE SINGLE CLASSROOM AND CALLED IT A DAY.
This is massive!! Like... like I don't even have the wors to describe how much of a big deal this is, butchering the character arc of Komi and Manbagi, and cancelling icons such as SHINOBINO or NARUSE.
I'm still in shock. I don't understand the creative process behind this idea. "Yeah let's add Manbagi in the first year. Who cares if her struggles for being part of a new class is one of the most important step for Komi since she for the first reached out for someone else and Komi had an entire year of experience to actually talk to someone that wasn't her family or Tadano. I'm sure nothing bad can happen from this decision."
It just... baffles me. Who had the idea to do a Live Action NOW? The anime starts two month from now on, and it's not like Komi need something for build up the hype since we were waiting this anime for years, so much that it became a joke in the anime community. If they wanted to do a Live Action, make a live action of the ONE SHOT at this point! So the people get familiar with the characters and explore the strange world of the prototype Komi, not SPOILING ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER OF THE MANGA, SINCE SHE APPEAR IN THE SECOND YEAR AND IT'S A TESTAMENT TO KOMI'S GROWTH.
I... I need to lay down for a moment... no, for a whole day. I planned to do the reaction to Zer0's animation but now I'm exausted from the rant. I'll probably do it tomorrow. I'm sorry guys, and until next time
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polaroid15 · 3 years
Text
Febuwhump day 7 - Poisoning
FIRST WEEK IS UP! THAT’S SO CRAZY!!!! THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT SO FAR!!!! <3333
Summary: "It’s one of the best dinners Tony has ever had in his life. They laugh, they catch up, they praise their kid. In hindsight, it was really only a matter of time before things went south."
Or, a celebratory dinner between Tony, May, and Peter takes a deadly turn when Peter is poisoned.
Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29138196/chapters/71884206
----
“Cheers!”
Tony smiles as May and Peter raise sparkling glasses to meet his own. They look nervous, Tony thinks, but excited too. They’ve even dressed up for the occasion, though the sleeves on Peter’s dress shirt are rolled unevenly and May’s still wearing her sneakers from her shift at the hospital with her dress, claiming she had forgotten another pair.
It’s perfect.
“This is really fancy,” Peter mumbles, cutting quick glances at the other tables with wide, unbelieving eyes. “Are you sure they don’t use 100 bills as napkins?”
“Oh they definitely do.”
“What?”
May rolls her eyes in good nature, patting Peter on the arm. “He’s kidding Peter. Obviously.” She shifts her gaze towards Tony, the warm cutouts of light above them turning her glasses gold. “Thank you, Tony. You really didn’t have to-”
“Course I did,” he interrupts, swirling his glass. “We’re celebrating! It’s not everyday you score the winning point in nationals, right Pete?”
Sinking slightly in his chair, Peter offers a sheepish smile. “It was a lucky guess.”
“Nonsense,” May says, and Tony raises his glass in another pledge of agreeance.
A shy looking waiter appears beside them, holding three steaming plates of food on a wide black tray. There’s a sheen of sweat on his face and Tony notices how determined he is not to look him in the eye.
Starstruck, probably. Poor kid.
“E-enjoy your meal,” the waiter stammers, wiping his face with his sleeve. He looks hesitant, like he wants to say something further. He must decide against it, though, because without further comment he pivots on his heel and stumbles away.
He bumps into a chair, and Tony watches him go, bemused. When he turns to look at his plate, it’s filled with fettuccine. He frowns a little, sure he had ordered the linguine.
“Wow,” Peter gushes through a stuffed mouth. A mouth full of linguine, that is. “This food is to die for!”
The waiter must have messed their plates around by accident. Unsurprising, really. Tony shakes his head and smiles at Peter’s apparent enjoyment, tucking a cloth into the collar of his shirt. Fettuccine is good too, he supposes.
“Alright, I’ll admit I’m impressed,” May says, a rich burger held between her hands.
“Me too,” Peter agrees, his sentiments once again muffled.
Tony chuckles, curling the smooth pasta around his fork. “Jeez, kiddo. Take a breath before you choke.”
“No! It’s too good.”
It’s one of the best dinners Tony has ever had in his life. They laugh, they catch up, they praise their kid. They make fun of May’s sneakers and ask the waiter for the money napkins when he passes by to check on them.
In hindsight, it was really only a matter of time before things went south.
It all starts with Peter setting down his fork, his laugh from something May had said tapering off into silence. He reaches for his glass but his hand misses it by a mile.
Tony eyes the kid suspiciously, watching as he tries to correct himself. Leaning forward, Peter squints for the glass and redirects his hand.
He misses it again.
“You okay kiddo?”
Finally, Peter’s hands find the skinny stem of his glass. He lifts it up to his lips, the drink sloshing around as his hands shake.
“Peter?”
Looking surprised, Peter looks over in Tony’s direction, though his eyes don’t fully connect. “What?” He asks quietly. “Oh. Yeah- yeah sorry. Just a little-”
Concerned now, Tony leans forward, wrapping his own hand around Peter’s to steady the tremors. “A little what?”
“D-dizzy.”
May screams and Tony curses loudly when Peter’s eyes flutter, body listing limply to the side and off his chair. The glass he had been holding hits the table, its contents staining their white tablecloth.
“Peter!”
Guests gasp and scream at the scene as Tony joins May by Peter’s side. Her fingers are jammed against his throat, her other hand clutching up at her hair in panic. “Oh- oh god.”
“What’s wrong with him?” Tony asks while his stomach performs olympic-level backflips. The shaking has spread to Peter’s entire body now, his face ghostly under the lights. Is he even breathing?
“CALL AN AMBULANCE!”
“Thready pulse. I don’t know what happened!”
Tony rests his hands against Peter’s face, his skin hot to the touch. He shakes it gently, but the boy’s head just lolls.
He’s seen this before.
Curling his hands into fists, Tony stands, the restaurant seeming to tilt and spin around him. The waiter that had served them is standing in the midst of onlookers, looking half dead himself. Tony walks over to him in three vicious strides and fists his hand into his shirt. “What did you give him?”
In the distance, beyond the ringing in his ears and the heat in his veins, Tony hears gasps and screams. The waiter, if possible, grows more pale. “I- I didn’t-”
“The food he ate was meant for me!” Tony screams, fear constricting his heart so tightly, he can hardly feel it beat within his chest. He’s experienced enough guilt in his lifetime, he thinks, and this might just be the breaking point. “It was meant for me! He was poisoned!”
Further in the distance, sirens.
“I have no idea, I swear,” the waiter says hastily, looking two seconds away from a panic attack. “I just grabbed the trays!”
“Who knew I was here?”
“E-everyone!”
“Damn it!” Tony throws the boy away, his anger untouched. An older woman dressed in the restaurant’s uniform appears beside him, horror sketched deeply into the lines of her face. “Sir,” she says, “the ambulance is here.”
He feels torn, ripped to shreds.
“Someone poisoned him,” Tony gasps. He can’t breathe.
“I’ll tell the police,” the woman assures. “We’ll get to the bottom of this. Let me handle it, okay? Go be with your son.”
Son.
Feeling lightheaded, Tony stumbles back over to their table. EMTs are streaming into the building, a vacant stretcher held between them. They waste no time in securing Peter to it, limp and unresponsive, and inject him with needles and air. He catches May when she falls into him, sobbing, and together they follow Peter out into the chilled air.
----
Three hours later, and everything is okay.
“Told you the food was to die for,” Peter mumbles. He’s weak and pale, his eyes distant and foggy, but bright with the relief of being alive. Tony grabs the boy’s hand and hangs on for dear life, relishing in the warmth of his skin under the tubes and wires connecting him to his recovery.
Tony isn’t sure if the sound he makes next is a laugh or a sob. “Almost,” he corrects, “it was almost to die for.”
It doesn’t matter, because Peter is okay.
“Was still pretty good,” Peter whispers, half asleep. “Mm. Four stars. Would consider going again.”
“Nope. No. Not in a million years.”
“But we didn’ even get to try dessert-”
“Peter,” Tony says sternly, but he smiles as he says it, “never in a million, billion, years.”
“Mmm. Fine.”
“Go to sleep kiddo. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Eyes closed, Peter’s smile widens.
“I know.”
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