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amazingmsme · 4 months

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A Good Golly Holiday Time

AN: Extremely loosely based on the squealing santa warmup prompt featherflake & basically just my excuse to write for The Solve It Squad/How the Grunch Cribbed Christmas. Ever since I first laid eyes on Scrags I knew he had to get wrecked. Hope you enjoy, merry Christmas & happy holidays to everyone! Really gonna try to pump out one more holiday fic but we’ll see about that won’t we?

Scrags... really wasn't having a good time. He normally tried to avoid the holidays because it only served to remind him of the family that didn't want him, and that fucking Maddie girl in his dad's reserved seat was just rubbing salt in the wound. He tried to keep his glaring to a minimum.

It seems his efforts failed because his friends very easily picked up on his sour mood, and it was obvious that they were walking on eggshells around him. They were in the craft portion of the planned activities, and it felt like his friends were coddling him rather than actually checking in. It was insulting damn it, he was a grown ass man! He didn't need their condescending praise about his crappy snowflake or the pitying looks they cast his way when they thought he wouldn't notice. Well news flash: he notices everything; he's a fucking FBI agent for crying out loud!

He heaved a heavy sigh as he glued a handful of feathers onto his snowflake. Keith walked behind him and off to the side, looking over Ester's shoulder at the iPad in their hands.

"So, what's the chat saying about me?" he asked, sweeping a hand through his hair. Ester rolled their eyes as they continued to scroll through the comments.

"Not much, they're all talking about what a sad sack of coal Scrags is being," they muttered, causing Kieth to furrow his brows.

"What? No way, Scrags is always high strung and snappy, they just don't know him like we do," he tried to justify. He glanced up at Scrags, his playful smirk falling when he saw the way their friend's shoulders sagged. He slapped a handful of feathers onto his snowflake in a messy, haphazard thud onto the table. "Okay yeah, he is being a classic Grunch, but it's not like we can cheer him up." Keith caught sight of a nearby camera and flashed a smile and wink.

Ester rolled their eyes. Keith stepped in front of her to be in the camera's full view and addressed the audience.

"Hey all you beautiful people at home! Our friend Scrags is having a little trouble getting in the holiday spirit, so we're taking suggestions on how to cheer him up!"

"Really Keith? C'mon, we got more important things to do! I need all you fuck nuggets at home to donate in my name, got that?!" Esther yelled, addressing the camera as they shoved Kieth out of the way. "Think of the children, first and foremost, but make sure I fucking win when you do!" they insisted, drawing the attention of Gwen and Scrags with the shrill pitch of their voice.

"Esther, try and keep it down, it's arts and crafts time and I do expect you to use your indoor voice," Gwen said in her classic cheerful tone with a dash of condescension and and a pinch of superiority. Thankfully, neither Esther nor Keith paid her any mind as they searched the comments for ideas.

"Wow you guys really have no sense of humor," Esther muttered as they scrolled past a few particularly bad holiday themed jokes. Keith grabbed their wrist and pointed at the screen.

"Hold up, go back I think I saw something," he said, not waiting for them to comply and snatched the iPad.

"Hey, give that back!"

"In a sec!" he said, scrolling until he found the comment once more. He froze and looked at Esther with an excited, sinister grin. "I think mrsclausgiantjuggs just gave us the solution to our problem."

"Ew, Kieth-"

"No, it's a username! Here look!"

"No I don't wanna-" they stopped mid sentence as they read the comment. A devilish glint flashed in their eyes. "Is Scrags ticklish? You guys should totally tickle him, I bet THAT will cheer him up!" They looked up from the screen and locked eyes with Keith. An evil chuckle slipped out as they slowly crept over to their gloomy friend.

"Gwen, your snowflake is looking picture perfect, just like you," Keith flirted, ever the suck up simp.

She flushed and giggled, "Oh stop!"

"Scrags, buddy! Yours is... coming along," he said, staring at the mess of paper, glitter glue and feathers.

"Gee, thanks. Gwen made me do this so she wouldn't be crafting all by herself," he teased lightly. "But y'know, I think it'd look better if you did it, Esther. Or even you, Keith."

"The hell do you mean "even me?" he asked incredulously. Esther smacked him from behind, reminding him they had a goal to accomplish.

“Scrags, I gotta be honest with you. You’re acting like a Grade A Grunch, and the chat’s picking up on your vibe. Now if you don’t change that, we’re gonna have to take drastic measures,” he warned/threatened. Scrags merely rolled his eyes.

“Sorry that I’m no happy enough to conform to your cheerful holiday standards,” he quipped, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly.

“Well that’s where we come in,” Keith said, sidling up next to him. Scrags looked him up and down skeptically.

“I’m not really in the mood for jokes…”

“Oh but this isn’t a joke!” Esther assured from his other side, making him jump. “If you ask me, this is a sure fire way to get your cheer meter filled all the way to the tippy top!”

Scrags scoffed, returning to his half-assed snowflake. He jerked away with a squeal when he felt something soft and fluffy flutter over his ear. He looked over to see Keith twirling a feather between his fingers, sporting a wicked grin. Scrags held his arms out in front of him as a weak defense.

“Dude, no, we’re live,” he practically pleaded.

“Uh, I know. This was a fan suggestion!” he chirped. Scrags choked on his own spit, sputtering and stumbling to his feet.

“Ex-excuse me? No, I don’t believe you!”

“Oh but it’s true,” Esther spoke up from behind him, making his blood run cold.

He stared at her, completely frozen for a solid few seconds before his brain caught up with himself. “What?” he reacted with his entire body, tossing his head around to look at her, placing his hands on his hips in his iconic sassy dad pose. “Who would want to see that?” he demanded.

“I think a better question is who wouldn’t want to see that,” Gwen joined in on the teasing, walking up behind Scrags and squeezed both his hips, making his twist out of her grip with a choked off giggle. “Great idea Keith!”

“Technically all the credit goes to mrsclausgiantjuggs, but I am the one spearheading this mission,” he bragged on himself, but still gave credit where credit was due. Okay, so maybe he wanted to say that username one more time.

“No, okay, I am shutting this down, it is not happenIIING!” his stern scolding morphed into a shrill squeal when Ester grew tired of waiting and dug their fingers in his armpits. He whipped around just in time to see their sinister grin as they wiggled their fingers in the air, getting ever closer. He desperately tried to fight off the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Not once up to this point in the livestream had he been so aware of the multiple cameras trained on them. He continued backing away from the threatening fingers… Right into Keith’s outstretched arms.

Strong arms, that immediately trapped him in a very tickly bear hug. “GOTCHA!” he yelled as he pinched and kneaded his sides and ribs, launching him into a full fledged giggle fit. He squirmed around like a fish on a hook, swatting and shoving at his probing hands.

“Aww, I can’t remember the last time you looked so happy, Scrags!” Gwen cooed, placing a hand over her melting heart. She wasn’t even meaning to tease, it was a genuine observation.

“Ihihihit’s fohohorced! Gwen d-don’t just stahahand there, hehehelp me damnit!” he snapped through his laughter. Before she could answer, Esther interjected.

“Uh oh, someone clearly isn’t feeling the holiday spirit!” He shook his head, eyes wide with panic as they lunged for him. Their fingers prodded his soft belly, causing him to double over in Keith’s grip.

“Oh I’ll help you alright! Trust me, when we’re through with you, you’ll feel like a million bucks! Just like when we were kids, right Mr. Giggles?” she asked and okay this time she definitely meant to tease. It had the desired effect and had him turning a rather adorable shade of pink.

“D-dohohon’t call me thahahat!” he cried indignantly, twisting around in his friend’s hold to hide his face from the camera, and hopefully protect at least a few of his tickle spots.

He realized his mistake when Keith took a deep breath and planted a loud, sloppy raspberry on his neck.

“OHOHOHO FUCK KEITH THAHAHAT’S SO GROSS, GEHEHET OHOHOFF!” Scrags’s hysterical laughter nearly blew out his mic before it tapered off into a less earsplitting volume as Keith pulled away, wiping a hand on his mouth.

“Sorry, could’ve sworn you said you liked raspberries,” he said with a shit eating grin. Scrags rolled his eyes, still grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah, the fruit you dickwahahad!” his insult lost its edge when Esther drilled their thumbs in his hips, sending him back into helpless laughter.

“Hey, this is a charity livestream for children, watch your motherfucking mouth!” Esther yelled over him. Gwen gasped at the outburst.

“Well that’s the pot calling the kettle black!”

Esther smirked, cocking their head to the side. “Sorry Gwen, pretty sure you’re not allowed to say that anymore,” they said, shaking their head with a tsk. Gwen scoffed.

“Oh you are so asking for it!” And with that, she set her sights on a new target.

Needless to say, the chat was going wild, and they were gaining view by the second. It was a rare glimpse of the fun, bright eyed detective group they remembered growing up, and that was the greatest non denominational holiday gift anyone could ask for.

#solve it squad fic #tsis fic #how the grunch cribbed christmas fic #htgcc fic #benji scragtowski #scrags #esther backpack blueglasses #keith swanson #gwen berrywood #the solve it squad #how the grunch cribbed christmas #solve it squad tickle fic #htgcc tickle fic #ticklish!scrags

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humanmorph · 5 months

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Transcript:

SYLVIA: [...] I just like, have this idea of a conversation like happening between- happening among the crew of like, the original Rapid Evening, like A.O. and Leap and Millie about like, “hey, it’s way harder for them to keep us under control here.”

AUSTIN: (crosstalk) Do this scene. This should be a scene.

SYLVIA: Yeah?

AUSTIN: Yeah.

SYLVIA: All right.

AUSTIN: Where is it? What’s going on?

SYLVIA: I wanna say it’s like, cafeteria area, I guess?

AUSTIN: Yeah. That works.

SYLVIA: Wherever they’re eating. Um-

KEITH: This is everyone but Clem.

SYLVIA: Pretty much, yeah. I mean, SI not there either.

KEITH: Okay.

AUSTIN: (crosstalk) Okay, so, so-

SYLVIA: None of the cops in the Rapid Evening are invited.

AUSTIN: Okay. So A.O., Leap, Millie. Figure A?

SYLVIA: Figure A can be there if you want.

AUSTIN: (laughing) Yeah, Figure A is there. Great.

KEITH: Playing three songs at once on a little speaker.

AUSTIN: (crosstalk) Yeah.

SYLVIA: Well, what I- I like them just like- they’re having lunch and like, sorting through shit that Leap got at the raid.

AUSTIN: Oh, that’s really good, I like that, yeah.

SYLVIA: And that’s something that Figure A’s just doing a lot of.

KEITH: Like categorizing things maybe?

SYLVIA: Yeah, but like, they’re sort of like- The rest of them are like, fucking around with it too. And I think at one point Millie’s just like,

SYLVIA (as Millie): Hey, why do we still listen to Clem?

KEITH (as Leap): We don’t. I don’t.

SYLVIA (as Millie): Yeah, but like- Okay, you don’t. Why- Why have we- Okay, better question. Why does Clem still think she’s in charge?

KEITH (as Leap): Because-

SYLVIA (as Millie): (crosstalk) You know what I mean?

KEITH (as Leap): Pretending to be in charge is the only way to seem like you’re still in charge.

SYLVIA (as Millie): But like, Leap, people are listening to her!

KEITH (as Leap): I know, it’s a tragedy.

SYLVIA (as Millie): So- Okay, let me just like, sort of bridge this gap here that we’re having between our two thoughts.

KEITH (as Leap): Yeah.

SYLVIA (as Millie): What if we put her into prison? And we were the ones-

KEITH (as Leap): Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me right now?

SYLVIA (as Millie): No, I’m not kidding you right now.

KEITH (as Leap): Do you- I- ah- Sounds a little familiar! I think someone maybe had this idea!

SYLVIA (as Millie): (shouting) What! Hey! Okay! Hold on! Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!

AUSTIN: Figure A says,

AUSTIN (as Figure A): I recall seventeen instances where Exeter Leap-

SYLVIA (as Millie): (crosstalk) (shouting) WAY worse timing!

AUSTIN (as Figure A): -suggested that we place Clementine Kesh into a prison or something adjacent to a prison, categorically.

SYLVIA (as Millie): (crosstalk) Okay! Fine!

KEITH (as Leap): Can you play those back?

SYLVIA (as Millie): (crosstalk) Okay, Leap’s always right, everybody loves Leap, I get it.

KEITH (as Leap): We gotta put Clem in jail.

SYLVIA (as Millie): We gotta put Clem in jail! Also, okay, fucking-

AUSTIN: How’s A.O.? Is A.O. just watching all this, what’s-

ART (as A.O. Rooke): What’s- What, I thought we were gonna listen to some recordings.

(AUSTIN and SYLVIA laugh)

KEITH (as Leap): Yeah, run through ‘em!

AUSTIN (as Figure A): (as Leap) “Hey, why don’t we just put Clem in jail and take over? We have all the power here!”

SYLVIA (as Millie): Ehhh.

ART (as A.O. Rooke): Hmm, I don’t think I was there for that one.

AUSTIN (as Figure A): (as Leap) “Small idea, what if we just put Clementine in jail and we took over the palace and had our whole entire situation reversed. Wouldn’t that be better?”

ART (as A.O. Rooke): Mmm.

KEITH (as Figure A): (as Leap) “I’m over the Clem thing, no offense Clem. Shouldn’t she be the one in jail?”

(AUSTIN laughs)

SYLVIA: God.

ART (as A.O. Rooke) Yeah, I remember- That one, that was the most recent one. Why aren’t these in order?

SYLVIA: (crosstalk) At the end of every clip, there’s just Millie going “Ehhhhhh.”

KEITH: (crosstalk) They’re alphabetical.

AUSTIN: (crosstalk) (laughing) They’re in alphabetical order, yeah.

KEITH: Yeah.

ART: Alphabetical by location.

AUSTIN: (laughing) Yes.

#partizan #fatt #friends at the table #i love this scene. i might post the second part of it sometime because its also really good #everyone is so good here. im so fond of this crew i miss them

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