#sissel....my friend sissel......what the fuck did you do

[fuumiku]

Chilcille huh... ngl I was a little suspicious. like why would you do that, huh... hope youre not mischaracterizing anyone in your weird and wacky ship. a little weird. but then you said they both had flat asses and you know what? I salute you and your perfect characterization

The fact you seem to think you managed to not make this ask insulting is baffling. What the hell. Fuck off.

If you actually care to be open minded about the ship, I talk about marchil on my sideblog 24/7. Funnily enough I’m currently 4k words deep into an analysis of their character arc together in canon, but that’ll take some more days to get done. Some notable posts:

Of course without counting the analyses of Chilchuck on his own I’ve made, like my masterpost on his family situation. Or better yet you could also read my fics for them, see how weird and wacky they are here.

Wanna talk about mischaracterisation? They’re literally a comedic duo who interacts 24/7. Marchil is crazy bc ppl are like "did those shipper read with their eyes CLOSED?? They have no chemistry!" Meanwhile canon is like: "She’s obsessed with knowing everything she can about him and she reads him like a book." In her eyes he’s like that extra rare and hard and shiny unlockable dating sim character, that brooding mysterious character trope that’s thrilling to crack open and typically is at the center of the plot. The wife roleplay???? "Hey, did you know his type is blondes. Hey did you know he likes his women pretty and blonde. Hey did you know he likes her hair. Hey did you know that he teases her 24/7 and it’s one of the few things that consistently gets him grinning because he finds her reactions cute." Like a schoolyard bully pulling on the pigtails of the girl he likes.

It’s not like they have any thematic narratives or relevance. It’s not like she’ll live to 1000 and has existential dread about it while he’s logically gonna be her next friend to die at 50 and wether it’s romantic or platonic it’ll terrify her to lose him. It’s not like it’s fear of death x fear of rejection so they’re both obsessed with the thought of loss looming, past and ongoing. It’s not like it’s half-elf x half-foot and there’s an inherent journey that was and still is to dispel prejudices and truly come to see each other. It’s not like he’s painfully real and raw and flawed but still a good man, that he’s not the figure of prince charming that she’s always dreamed of while still being virtuous and worth fighting for. Or you know, her hair being golden and it being the epitome of beauty to him, and his hair turning silver and it being Marcille’s worst nightmare.

Just a weird wacky ship who means nothing but shallow things to people who have weirdo reasons for liking it. Like can you not. If you’re not imaginative enough to think of reasons why this ship may have an appealing dynamic that’s not my issue. But yes, yes, they’re both flat asses to me, thanks.

#Dungeon meshi #Ask #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Marcille donato #chilchuck tims #Marchil #You me the parking lot after i finish and post my arc analysis #Sobbing……… we’re 20 over here in the rarepair pit come on. Like do u not see how obsessed i am. Do u think they like. Mean nothing to me #Do u think it’s all incidental and i slipped and the 10 thousands of words I write for them had no thought or feelings behind them or #Their arc is so beautifuuuuul they come to see each other and her standards become more real while he allows hope and openness #Into his heart again 😭😭 not the way two of their scenes lowkey read as a proposal… #Anyways I hope this makes it clear I’ll fight to my dying breath for them. #I don’t want trouble and i imagine you don’t either so just don’t come shitting on my doorstep #In positive news my fic Grind Me Down Sweetly recently reached 100 likes and 1k hits <3 it can also be read as just platonic so if you like #Them as a duo even as friends give it a shot #Every time I see someone shitting on marchil I start making marchil content faster btw #Not art

[strigital]

Do tell about Nim, I couldn’t find much info about her through your blog and I am dying to know more about this werewolf lady

well grab a pint and sit yo booty down, cause our bard of the evening tonight is Nim and she's drunk as all hell and ready to weave some outrageous stories!! 🍻

in all seriousness, thank you for asking! 😭💗 she came about back in ye oldie days of hype over the 11th of november 2011, and since then refuses to give up the title of my fav oc!!

now, a Paarthurnax would say: lets-a go!

a quick recap of the events in Skyrim:

Naali Saryn was born sometime in 4E 130 on mainland Morrowind as a result of a quick fling between an unknown Dunmer girl and Lucien Lachance and Kassandra Saryn's (The Hero of Kvatch's) son.

Sometime in that year, the baby was found aboard a ship bound for Raven Rock and when no one came forth to claim her a couple of elderly and childless ash yam farmers decided to take her in until her family was found.

The family, of course, was never found, and so they raised her as their own for the next sixteen years. They called the girl Nim - short, sweet, meaningless, and easy to shout out into the fields where the little brat is out adventuring when the house chores are yet to be done.

Nim grew up alongside her best friend Teldryn (don't believe his tales about his past, there's a reason why he wears a helmet in his hometown). For years the kids dreamt of leaving Raven Rock behind and making it big in the big city. And idea which really annoyed Nim's ol' Nana, who believed that everything needed for a simple happy life was right here on Solstheim.

After one particularly nasty fight with Nana about the ordeal, Nim gathered a bag of things and slipped out in the dead of night to catch an early morning ship with Teldryn.

They stuck together for a while then went on their separate merry ways. He - to Blacklight, she - to Leyawiin. Once in the wild, Nim had to quickly figure out her place in the pecking order. The romantic life of crime seemed to be the most attractive for her, but getting on top could never be easy. Especially for a young, inexperienced, and naive girlie. So she ended up running with the wrong kind of crew. Ended up in some truly dark places. Barely got out alive. Learned from her mistakes. Wore the scars of abuse like armor and made sure that since that day no one in this world or any other would play her for a fool, use her or put a finger on her without her permission.

By the time she turned fifty, Nim was well known amongst certain circles as the kind of scoundrel, thief, bard, and wench one should not trifle with. But her luck had to eventually run out, and so it did on the night of the fabled Umbacano Mansion heist, which failed so badly Nim had to either leave Cyrodiil or end up in a Thalmor owned torture chamber.

Skyrim seemed like a perfect place. After all, in a kingdom torn apart by the civil war, no one would even notice yet another greyskin refugee, right? Well, the Thalmor did. And so she ended up on a cart bound for Helgen to have a date with an executioner. But then Alduin showed up to crash the party before he himself got rudely interrupted by another dragon, who swooped in to save the Last Dragonborn.

After the narrow escape, Nim concluded her duty to warn Balgruuf of the dragon threat and went on to start a new career as a merc with the Companions. She and Aela became fast friends and when the prospect of joining the Circle came up she gladly accepted a sip of her new sister's blood. To never again be helpless and weak? To rip apart any fool who'd take her for just another elf wench who can't put up a fight? Well of course it was worth giving up the ability to sleep and having to get used to all smells suddenly becoming ten times worse!

After that Mirmulnir showed up and ended up as another ornament above the throne in the Dragonsreach. And Nim got stuck with a title which she would wear with great discontent for years to come.

Eventually, she ceased trying to run away and hide from her destiny, accepted her role as the Last Dragonborn, and begrudgingly began her quest to save the world. On her journey, she met and became tight friends with Yollokmir and Alasil who taught her how to speak, fight and fly like a dragon. With their help she inherited Konahrik's legacy: his mask embued with his soul, his citadel far up in the mountains - the NebenLok Zeikangaar - and the right to revive and lead the order of dragon riders sworn to defeat Alduin - DovahDein.

As she gained power and the word of her great many deeds spread across Skyrim, she managed to get quite the following of fellow men, mer, and Dov, willing to follow her into Sovngarde and beat the hell out of Alduin. Alas, she failed. Twice.

At that point, Alasil informed her of a special someone who might be of help in their quest against Alduin and who might prove difficult to convince to join her cause. That was the first time in fifty years that Nim got to visit her home. Unfortunately, Solstheim had changed. And upon arrival, she learned that her Pa passed onto the realm of Azura soon after her departure, and her Nana... well, she wasn't young anymore and suffered greatly due to all the ash ruining her lungs... and when the islanders got called to the All-Maker stones night after night by a mysterious spell, she just worked herself to death. That was the only thing Nim wouldn't forgive Miraak for, not until he swallowed his pride and sincerely apologized for being responsible for his potential mother-in-law's death.

And with Miraak's help, they finally sent Alduin back to his Maker, enjoyed a few peaceful years until High King Ulfric became a bit drunk on his power and needed a good ass whooping as well. Then Miraak suddenly found himself as the new king and Nim... she just did her own thing. As always. The end?

Oh and all the while running about, gathering forces, growing her Dragonborn powers, hunting Dragon Priests and Alduin's henchmen, she also meddled with the Thieves Guild, put Karliah in charge and became her right hand, managed to become an advisor on all things dragon at the Mage's College, ended up teaching lute and songwriting at the Bard's College (she's taking a break since Viarmo can't seem to handle her teaching tactics), earned the title of Thane in every hold and became a good friend to the Dawnguard fellas (Isran is more than happy to teach her kids the ropes of monster hunting) after kicking Harkon's ass into Oblivion. In what little free time she has Nim also manages the Lakeview Manor and leases the ash yam farm back in Raven Rock for some extra cash. All in all, a busy woman!

and some tidbits about the dovahmom:

Although Nim is perfectly aware of her real name, she chooses to use the one given to her by Nana. Both as a sign of respect and because, frankly, she dislikes both the Sarynes and the Lachances, who are, in her humble opinion, just a bunch of pricks. Somehow, the ghost of her murdered grandad finds this opinion of hers kinda funny.

Her friends sometimes describe her as "cyrodiilic brandy in a cup of tea": she's this small elf girl with pretty blue eyes and a smile on her face and you think that she'll be very pleasant and cute and shy and then... then you realize she drinks like a sailor, swears like one too, can beat anyone into the dirt (thanks, Hircine) and doesn't take shit from nobody. She openly speaks her mind and doesn't give a shit about what someone might think of her. She does what she considers the right thing to do, never plays nice with those she dislikes, never pretends to be someone she isn't. She's feisty, sassy, brassy, and, quite honestly, just doesn't give a fuck.

Nim is in almost complete control over her inner beast, partly thanks to her draconic blood, partly - to the ring she got when she and Sinding had that little party on a moonlit night in that grotto. She only loses control over herself when both moons are full and thusly will travel deep into the wilds a few days before the magical night. This way the only people that might get hurt are bandits, necromancers, hags, and the like. She and Aela also managed to get a small werewolf pack going, named the Whitemane Pack after the old man himself and dedicated to those who wish to take control over their inner beast, hunt with honor, and cause the Silver Hand as much grief as possible.

Nim is raising Blaise and Sofie as her own since they both were just wee lil' war orphans (the babes are in their teens now). She never quite really knew why... Nim was never a wifey nor a baby momma kind of woman. In fact, she can't even have children in the first place and, honestly, always thought of this as a blessing - never having to worry about contraception like all those other girls and just having fun without a care in the world! Her friends sometimes joke around, saying that she might've finally "ripened" for the motherhood, but she doesn't care. She loves Blaise, Sofie, and Sissel (thanks, Miraak, you're so good at kidnapping children!) and is content with being their famous Dragonborn mom. Post-Alduin Miraak, however, is secretly annoyed for not being able to get her pregnant. Oh well, the man can dream...

Oh yeah! Nim plays the lute and sings too! It's a skill she picked up across taverns all over the continent when she realized that bards get free drinks and a bed, as well as ample opportunity to sniff out and seduce prey. And even though her days of hunting for good-looking rich fools are long behind her, she still performs in inns and taverns across Skyrim. Firstly, it brings in a fair amount of money, and secondly, it's good for her Voice! And also just plain and simple fun.

Also, people get terribly surprised when she, a Dunmer, doesn't act like one at all! Nim might've grown up in Raven Rock, a Dunmer settlement, but she spent the rest of her life traveling the continent and then living in Skyrim. She's more Nord-ish than some Nords! And the Nords actually really love it! It's so so easy to just get plastered with the homegirl, punch some faces and pass out on a heap of hay behind the inn, just happy to be alive on this fine snowy day. The only truly Dunmer thing about her is the occasional "n'wah!" which escapes her potty mouth. I mean, she doesn't even like sujamma all that much and would rather have a pint of mead! Whatever Ancestors she has must be spinning in their graves fast enough to generate electricity.

uuuhhh I think that's all the important stuff? i might've forgotten, in which case, I'll add it later... meanwhile, have some more Nim content:

^^^ the fanfic is slow, but it's moving... at a snail's pace. my advice: don't expect updates, so that when they do come, you'll be pleasantly surprised!

#thank u for asking abt the dovahmom #i am deeply touched uwu #💞 #the elder scrolls #skyrim #dragonborn #ldb #dovahkiin #konahrik #oc #naali 'nim' saryn #bethesda #ask #my art #sketch #traditional doodle #ballpoint doodle

[arietisprimavera]

been a few hours. was trying to think up the words to describe how sissel & lynne r so meaningful to me but at the end of the day.... YOMIEL MAN... YOMIEL........ what the fuck. What the fuck❗ sissel (the og (fiansissel i think?)) dying literally as he got there.. haunts me. like. What if. She got powers too. would that be fucked up or what. Like 😭 FUCK❗❗❗ its implied too that- unless lynne was like "yoo whats up park man"- she visted him in prison... imagine this. you just return from manipulating your own body to save lynne (JJST LIKE YOU SISSEL WANTED TO DO IN THE BEGINNING? IM LOSING MY MIND?) the entire lower half of your body has been crushed and its the first sensation you feel after ten years. your only friend (ONLY FRIEND...!) is no longer yours. you remember that you KILLED HIM. WITH YOUR OWN HANDS. anyway. you go to prison for a crime you did not commit and one you did and for crimes that will never happen. your fiance whos been dead Ten Fucking Years visits you. fucked up or what❗sorry if this is disconnected btw but yomiels got me feeling things.

bro BROOOO YOMIEL NOT BEING NEAR FIANSISSEL WHEN SHE DIED AND YOMIEL BLAMING HIMSELF FOR NOT GETTING THERE SOONER? (also the note she left behind jesus fucking christ man) THE FIRST THING HE FEELS IN A LITERAL DECADE IS BEING IMPALED ON A SPIKE AND THEN THE CRUSHING OF THE LOWER HALF OF HIS BODY FUCK. BUT I REALLY DO THINK HE DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT BECAUSE FINALLY AFTER 10 YEARS OF JUST NOTHING IT'S FINALLY SOMETHING. agony but still. god yomiel in prison... even though fiansissel is still alive in the new tl, how long does it take for him to believe that what he was seeing wasn't just a cruel twist of fate? I could go on about yomiel in the new tl for literal hours it messed me up so fucking much

#goddamn #ghost trick #Losing it anon #Ask

[temsikghosts]

Ghost Swap

treat for my dear friend @playghosttrick !!! @fyeahghosttrick

Prompt: Yomiel gets dragged to the beach with Fiansissel and he hates the ocean SO MUCH. Can be funny or depressing or both!

I wrote something based on one of my old ideas and I hope you like it!

Ugh… How did I get into this mess?

“Yomiel! Honey, talk to me!” I could hear Sissel’s worried voice from somewhere. I felt someone shake my body a bit.

“Sissel, don’t shake him like that! Let me check on him. Yomiel, can you hear me?” It was a grave, male voice this time. Was it Jowd? 

I couldn’t remember anything and this somehow made me feel even worse. “Ughn….” Was the only thing I could manage to let out.

“Look, he’s waking up!” It was Sissel’s voice again and as I tried to open my eyes, I could see her hovering over me. Or barely could see her, because my vision was still trying to adapt to the bright light of the environment.

“W-What… what happened?” I blurted out. My head was spinning and as I tried to properly wake up, I could feel I was lying down in some sort of fabric. The light was just too bright to get used to and my already sensitive eyes were having a lot of difficulty to try processing what was going on and I suddenly realized I was without my sunglasses for some reason, so instead of relying on my weak eyes, I searched the ground to feel where in the world I was when I felt sand beneath my fingers.

“You passed out, honey. Oh my gods, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have—” Sissel was cut short by the male voice again.

“It’s okay, Sissel, it wasn’t your fault.” Then I felt a large hand on my shoulder. I couldn’t properly see in this bright sunlight, but I knew who it was. It was Jowd. “You’re okay there, Yomiel?”

“Yeah, just… I need my sunglasses, please. It’s so hard to see anything in this fucking strong sunlight.” I said tiredly as I finally managed to sit down. Then the memories just came rushing back to me.

----

It’s crazy to think about how time flies. It seemed like it was just yesterday that I was released from prison, but that had been a year ago. Sissel and I got married recently and we were just back from our honeymoon when Jowd and Alma asked us for a family trip to celebrate as a family. A family. That was a weird word to me. My family life was so messed up that for years I’ve been wishing for my ideal definition of family. And now, looking at Jowd, Alma, Kamila, Sissel (and I mean both)... Despite the awkwardness and guilt I still feel towards them about the things I’ve done to them in the past, I can’t help to shake the feeling that I’m in the right place. Is this what it feels like to be in a family?

So yeah, we agreed to it. Sissel had been all excited about it, of course, while I’ve been really nervous. I didn’t know what to expect from this trip and I hoped things would turn out alright. What got me worried though, was actually where we were going to spend this vacation. 

We were going to spend a weekend at Jowd’s beachside home.

I had to admit I wasn’t really fond of the idea of getting too close to the ocean again, but I guess as long as I stayed on firm land, I would be okay. I knew it wasn’t Jowd’s idea either, he didn’t seem too fond of the ocean too after the whole submarine incident. But we couldn’t say no to our women, could we?

So there we were, hosted in Jowd and Alma’s beachside house. There was an entire room for me and Sissel and I still remember Jowd’s rule about using the bedroom.

“Yomiel, Sissel, I know you two just came back from a heated honeymoon, but please, no doing anything improper while Kamila is around. This is a family vacation.”

“Geez, we’re not that vulgar, Jowd!” I rolled my eyes, but Sissel let out an embarrassed giggle. It’s true that Sissel and I got… a little busy during our honeymoon, but I knew it wouldn’t be polite of us to do this kinda stuff in someone else’s house. 

In the afternoon, we packed our stuff and went to the beach. Kamila was busy building sand castles with cat Sissel (yes, of course she brought the cat with her. And honestly, I was glad to have my best friend with me on this trip too.) Lynne had come too (it was like she was already part of Jowd’s family) and she would play around with Kamila and cat Sissel and Missile. Good thing pets were allowed on this beach. 

I, of course, was standing FAR AWAY from the ocean, under the beach umbrella, safe from the burning sun and working with my laptop. Of course I would bring my laptop for the trip. There were some projects I could work on while everyone else was having fun. Besides, I would stay safe and far away from the sea, as it should be. But of course, sometimes I would lift my eyes from the computer screen to stare at Sissel. Gods, she looked so wonderful in a bikini. At least one good thing came out of being in this hellish place. The way her skin looked so beautiful under the sun, not to mention the tiny drops of sweat that made her skin sparkle under the sunlight, making her look even more desirable… Damn. I found myself licking my lips in lust and, for a moment, I mentally cursed Jowd for his stupid rule about me and Sissel “not doing anything improper while we’re hosted in his house.” So, to take my mind out of my “improper thoughts”, I tried to focus back on my coding. But just as I came back to writing...

“Seriously, Yomiel? You’re working while we’re on vacation? Who even brings a laptop to the beach?” I heard Sissel complaining. Sigh. Just when I was trying to concentrate on the code...

“Sissy, love, you know I’m not fond of beaches.” I protested quietly, but she didn’t seem ready to give up.

“No, no, no. Turn this off, I want you to come swim with me!” She literally took the laptop from my hands and put it on the table.

“SWIM? Babe, you know I can’t swim!” I started to panic as she pulled me from the chair and started dragging me towards the sea.

“We’re not going too far, I swear! We’re only going where the water hits on our knees. Besides, you’ll be with me and I CAN swim, so I can save you if anything goes wrong!” She winked at me, but I couldn’t shake this dreadful feeling out of me. The closer she dragged me to the ocean, the closer I was to panicking.

“Sissel, PLEASE, no! I-I-I don’t like the sea! I-It’s too d-d-dangerous, e-e-even for those who can swim! L-Let’s go back, please!” I tried to convince her one last time.

“Please, Yommy! Just this once! Do it for me, please…” She looked at me with her ‘kitten eyes’ face. The one she always used whenever she wanted to convince me of something. I could never say no to that face. But the ocean….

I looked over at Jowd, who was helping Kamila with the sand castle. I tried to ask him for help, but Sissel managed to push me closer towards the water and I could already feel it under my feet.

The cold sensation of the water under my feet, along with the furious roar of the waves got me thinking back of that dark, sinking submarine and how I was supposed to be left there with the debris, forgotten, like a complete, lost soul. 

The memories of that night came rushing to me all at once and I could feel as if I was trapped in that submarine again, sinking slowly towards the bottom of an endless sea.

Then the world seemed to disappear around me.

---

Back to the present, as I woke up I could still feel myself shaking in fear. Sissel was feeling terrible about it and she was apologizing all the time for trying to force me to get into the water with her. She had brought me my sunglasses and a coconut so I could drink some of its water. It helped me to feel a bit better for a second.

“You sure you’re okay, Yomiel?” Jowd asked again. Even Kamila, Lynne and Alma were standing nearby and everyone seemed worried about me.

“I… guess….” The real answer was ‘no, I’m not’, but I didn’t want to make Sissel feel worse. But I guess Jowd understood the real meaning of my words. He already knew how much I hated the idea of standing close to the ocean when in the other timeline, I was supposed to be left alone in that sinking submarine.

(It’s okay, Yomiel, you’re safe now.) cat Sissel’s voice echoed in my mind. The black kitten was now sitting on my lap, staring at me intently with his big amber eyes. (Though I understand why you freaked out. Water is the worst.)

(Do you want to come back to the house with your wife? I can stay here with Kamila, Alma and Lynne. And.. huh… You two can have a time for yourselves, if this will help you get your mind of what happened.) Jowd’s voice echoed through our Ghost World connection.

(What? But you said…)

(I said ‘no doing anything improper while Kamila’s around’. But we’ll be here on the beach so you two can have the house for yourselves for a while.) He winked playfully. Gods, I couldn’t believe he was really willing to pass over his own rule for my sake.

(And we can talk about the ocean incident later.) The cat said. (That is, if you want to, of course.)

(Thank you, guys.) I sighed in relief, smiling at my two friends. As awkward my friendship with Jowd felt at first, I came to realize he was like a big brother watching over me at times 

“Sissel, he’s doing better now!” I heard Jowd shout to her. She was buying another coconut for me and came back to my side as soon as she heard Jowd’s voice.

“Really? Oh, thank goodness! I’m so, so sorry, Yommy…. I didn’t know your fear of water was that big.” She hugged me and it was a relief to feel her warm body pressed against me.

“Why don’t you two go back to the house and take some rest? I can stay here with the girls, don’t worry.” He winked at us one more time. It seemed like Sissel took the hint as well because she cast a lustful glance towards me, then nodded.

“Of course! This will help us a lot. Thank you so much, Jowd!” She giggled, then winked at me. “It will be a good way to apologize for my mistake.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle back. “You’re already forgiven, my love. And thanks once more, Jowd.”

“You’re welcome.” The detective said while he held the black kitten in his arms and watched as Sissel and I packed our things and headed back home. Sissel’s arms wrapped around mine as we walked back to Jowd and Alma’s beach house.

Ok, so maybe a family vacation wasn’t so bad, after all.

#yomiel #fiansissel #ghost trick #ghost trick phantom detective #ghost swap #ghost swap 2020 #gswap #fyeahghosttrick #playghosttrick #yomiel ghost trick #sissel #sissel ghost trick #fiancee sissel #yomiel's fiancee #sissel fiancee #detective jowd #jowd #jowd ghost trick #fanfic #ghost trick fanfic

[crossed--fates]

Send ‘GAME OVER’ to get a glimpse of one of the worse possible endings that can happen to my muse in their life.

@twiceminded​ sent:  game over.

Hope you don’t me borrowing your muse for this akdshsjkd

Warning: alcoholism, suicide ideation

His worst nightmare came true. Sissel learned the truth. All of it.

Maybe Cabanela spilled the beans, he didn’t know actually, but she found out and, just as he’d imagined, she couldn’t believe it at first. She confronted him about it, but when he didn’t deny any of it... That’s when she saw it in his eyes. It was true.

“How could you....?” She cried, taking a few steps back. “....T-This... T-This is not the Yomiel I knew... The Yomiel I knew would never do such things!”

“S-Sissel... I-I can explain, I—” No, in fact, he couldn’t. “I

“Little Kamila.... And Alma!!! You... You manipulated little Kamila to kill her mother!!! The woman who turned out to be one of my greatest friends now!!! NO!!! I DON’T— T-This is—That’s too much!!!”

She could see the look of despair in his eyes and she knew he was feeling desperate and guilty too, but... What he did.... How could Sissel simple accept all of that? She couldn’t think straight and she figured that they couldn’t solve things with a hothead. 

“Yomiel, I think we should give it a time.... I... I can’t belive this, I— I can’t think right now, but things shouldn’t remain like this. I must think this through... I—... I’m sorry, I’m sorry...” She said as she took the engagement ring from her hand and put it on his hand. Yomiel simply watched as Sissel packed her things and left the house, leaving him in an empty home and with an empty heart...

-------------

Jowd was taking some time off-work, so he decided to pass by the bar next station when he saw a familiar shape in the corner. A blond-haired man lying on a table, filled with empty bottles of whisky. He was almost unrecognizable with his hair down in a mess and old, dirty clothes. If it wasn’t for the familiar pair shades lying on the table, Jowd would just think this man was just another poor beggar drowning his sorrows on the drink.

“Yomiel...?” He gently called and the man slowly lifted his head. Gods, that was Yomiel? Jowd could barely recognize the man. He had let a beard grow, his eyes were red by the alcohol and he was looking so dejected and miserable... Nothing like the man in a classy red suit he once knew.

“Jooowd....” He answered with a slurred voice and hiccup then his head fell on the table again. “Go awaaay.... pleasee.....”

“Yomiel! I cant leave you like this! C’mon, I’ll take you home.” The big detective took the skinny ex-programmer into his big arms, despite Yomiel’s weak protests. The blond man was still holding a half-empty bottle of whisky and gave it a shug as Jowd tried to take him outside.

“Yomiel, stop drinking! This is not going to help you!” Jowd said, taking the bottle from Yomiel’s hand aggresivelly. “What the hell are you doing? What happened to you?”

When the bottle was snatched violently from his hands, Yomiel finally seemed to ‘wake up’. He looked at Jowd with tired eyes for a moment and laughed.

“Hah. Ha ha ha. Look at me now. A pathetic man drinking his sorrows in a bar, like his mother did. Yeah, I get it now. I get it. I...” hic ... “Never understood... why she drank.... But now I do....”

He stopped to laugh at himself again. “Are you happy now.... Jowd? S-She knows.... Sissel knows.... And she left me.... Said she needed time to ‘think’.... I doubt she’ll ever truly forgive me.... But there! Isn’t that what you all wanted? She knows the truth! Does it make.... things better? Do I look better to you???DO I???”

“Yomiel, you’re drunk, you’re not making any sense, you need to go home and rest—”

“HOME? WHAT HOME JOWD? IS THERE A HOME LEFT FOR ME??? I LOST MY MOTHER, I LOST SISSEL... THERE’S NO HOME FOR ME ANYMORE!!! WHY DO YOU THINK I’M DRINKING? I DRINK BECAUSE I WANT TO FORGET AND I WANT TO DIE!!! LIKE MY MOTHER!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME FUCKING DIE AT THAT PARK!!!”

Yomiel shouted and tears were drenching his swollen face. “Leave me, Jowd! Let me die in peace! That’s the fate I deserve! To die in a bar, like my mother, trying to forget my pain.... I don’t deserve a quick death, so let me kill myself slowly. Give me back my drink and LEAVE ME!”

Jowd couldn’t believe what he was seeing, but a part of him could understand. This desire to die... He shared that too in that old timeline. It was so sad to see Yomiel like this, it was tragic to see the man they tried so hard to save wish for death to come to him like this. What would he tell Sissel, the cat? But Jowd felt like he couldn’t do anything to help Yomiel, so he simply looked at the shadow of the man in red and sighed a sad sight.

“I’m sorry, Yomiel.... I’m really sorry.”

Game Over

#IC: A Man in Red | Yomiel #twiceminded #Yomiel Answers | Asks #alcoholism tw #alcohol tw #suicide ideation tw #[this ended up like a mini fic ksahdjkshdhds GOD] #[also idk if i wrote jowd right but i gave it my best!]

[lexi-the-twilight-dragon]

RED VS BLUE: The Ghost Trick AU

His consciousness slowly slips back, but he’s wide awake when he hears a gun cock. In front of him is two men, one in a coat pressed up against the wire fence with his hands up, the other in a suit pointing a shotgun at him.

“So long, kid.”

He tries to stand. He tries to raise his hand. He tries to say something. The guy in the coat is going to die, dammit!

But he can’t move an inch. And they can’t hear him.

Because he’s already dead.

So yeah, the Ghost Trick AU, everyone! I’ve tried to avoid massive Ghost Trick spoilers for those who haven’t played it yet (if you haven’t, go do so, it’s my favourite game for a reason) but in any case, enjoy the casting!

In order of appearance:

Church (Sissel): He’d give you his backstory if he knew what it was. As it currently stands, all he knows is that he’s a recently deceased individual who has a decently good taste in suits and a decently good sense of humor. Okay, maybe that sense of humor is mostly snark, but hey, give him some credit, he’s dead for fuck’s sake. And apparently, being dead comes with the added bonus of “Ghost Tricks”, the power to interact with the living through inanimate objects, travel through telephone lines, and by connecting with the souls of other recently deceased individuals, rewind the last four minutes of their life to avoid their untimely demise. He’s not doing it out of some kind of altruism. He’s just got twelve hours before his soul traverses to the next dimension, and he’d kinda like some help remembering who he is before that happens. That’s all. ‘S only fair.

Detective Dexter Grif (Lynne): Recently promoted to the Detective Division of New Armonia PD, Grif’s something of a loose cannon, and tends to put what he thinks is right before police bureaucracy, which often gets him in trouble. He’s recently gone off the grid again to re-investigate a cold case in which his superior got convicted of murder, which has led to him meeting with Church for information. Which led to him getting shot. Which led to Church saving his life. Which led to him getting arrested for Church’s murder. But as if he’s gonna let a simple arrest get in his way. He’s got a mission to follow. And if he can get food on the way, that’ll be awesome. (Also, don’t call his coat yellow. It’s fucking orange.)

Felix (Nearsighted Jeego): An assassin tasked in ending the life of anyone who knows about “Shisno”. Grif hasn’t the faintest idea what that is, but apparently he’s on that hit list anyway. However, Felix’s overconfidence proves to be a weakness Church is only happy to exploit.

Ray: A deceased soul possessing a desk lamp, Ray is Church’s “Ghost Trick” mentor. Despite ghosts communicating through telepathy, Ray manages to keep most of his thoughts, knowledge, motive and real name included, secret from Church. He requested Church’s help solving the mysterious goings on in New Armonia in return, but frankly, Church only has twelve hours here. He’s got his own mystery to solve, thank you very much.

Chairman Malcolm Hargrove (Commander Sith): The head of Charon Industries, the technological megacorporation of a foreign nation intent on unimaginable power and possibly global domination. Though their technology is far more advanced than any other nation’s, said technology is… “off”, to say the least. And should anyone get in Hargrove’s way, he has his own “security force” to call on. 

Counselor Aidan Price (Masked Lieutenant): Hargrove’s immediate subordinate, in charge of carrying out his immediate orders and organizing the orders to others. Never breaks his impassive expression, which can even creep Hargrove out sometimes.

Locus (One Step Ahead Tengo): Another assassin under Hargrove’s employ, much more calm and collected than his rival Felix. He prefers to get ahead of his “prey” and lie in wait in the shadows, rather than tail them and face them directly.

Freckles (Missile): A small fluffy “freckled” dog, technically belonging to “Master Grif”, but much more attached to his roommate, “Master Caboose”. He would do absolutely anything for his masters, and not even an inconvenient death will stand in his way. He’ll make instant friends with just about anybody, so long as they don’t mind a bit (a lot) of barking.

Michael Caboose (Kamila): A ten-year-old kid who’s been in the foster care system since he was very young. He’s lived with Grif and Freckles for about five years, after an unfortunate incident with his previous foster family. He may or may not have witnessed said incident, but always seems to be cheerful nevertheless. He’s not the smartest in school, but he’s pretty good at making convoluted contraptions out of random objects, not always with the permission of his guardian. 

Doctor Emily Grey (Superintendent): A former medical examiner of New Armonia PD, now in charge of maintaining and supervising the Zone D junkyard, where Church was murdered. She apparently lives in her office with her pet pigeon Carmen, and spends her free time conducting strange experiments and research in her basement.

Lord Donald Doyle (Justice Minister): The minister of justice in charge of administering the sentences of condemned criminals. It’s a complicated and stressful job, and as such has taken its toll on his health and his relationship with his family. A recent squabble with his wife has resulted in her walking out with their son in tow, which has only worsened his psyche.

Detective Vera Ohio (Detective Blue): A detective at Grif’s precinct, who, well, can get a little too enthusiastic sometimes, especially if she has a chance to prove herself to a superior officer. This enthusiasm doesn’t always equal results, however, so she’s stuck at her current ranking. She’s a little jealous of Grif for making Detective so quickly by comparison.

Detective Ezra Idaho (Detective McCaw): Ohio’s investigative partner, who’s more than used to her antics and usually tries to be her voice of reason, with little success. He’s a little concerned with Ohio trying too hard to impress their superiors, and the ridiculous example set by their inspector.

Doctor Lucy Connecticut (Medical Officer): The medical examiner in Church’s murder case, though no one’s ever seen her on a case before. But, she has her credentials, and she gets the job done, so no questions need to be asked. Right?

Inspector Maddison Carolina (Inspector Cabanela): The head of the Special Investigation Unit, and basically the whole police force second only to the Chief. Though her track record, like her coat, is spotlessly flawless, her manner is jarringly blasé; don’t for a second let this fool you though, she did not get to her position by fuffing around, and heaven have mercy on you if she catches you doing so yourself. Most of the other detectives are wary of her as a result, but she’s surprisingly close to and protective of the newest one, Dexter “Dex” Grif.

Detective Frank DuFresne (Detective Rindge): Oh, did you forget about the other detective at the precinct? You wouldn’t be the first. Whether it be the way he tries not to be in the way, or the way his face disappears under his hat, DuFresne always manages to find a way to be invisible. This isn’t always a hindrance however; as such he’s often assigned to reconnaissance or covert information gathering, a job he excels at. He also excels at it where he’s not meant to, so if anyone knows the low-down on the precinct’s gossip, it’s him.

Officer Dick Simmons (Typical Cop 1): A cop from Grif’s old beat, Simmons would have been promoted to Detective too… if he wasn’t such a nervous wreck in the presence of a superior, which at his rank is always. He tries his best, he really does, but he always seems to stumble over himself at the last minute, and the detectives he works under don’t help either, admonishing him for the slightest mistake and taking the credit when he actually accomplishes something. He also has a massive crush on Grif, which can hinder his mental processing even more. Grif is completely in denial about it, even when others point it out.

Sarge (Chicken Chef): Proprietor, manager and head chef of The Red Base Chicken Kitchen, home of smoky fried chicken, questionable budgeting decisions, and many a husky Southern ballad, all courtesy of the man himself. All of the above factors are an acquired taste, but that doesn’t bother him. As far as he’s concerned, he’s living the dream.

Officer Ben Matthews (Officer Bailey): One of six guards patrolling Stella Nova Penitentiary, Matthews is a stickler for the rules 99% of the time, but in spite of himself, there are two people he can never say no to; one is Grif, and the other is his fellow officer Bitters. The stress of trying to keep the latter in line causes him a lot of pent up energy that… occasionally has to be let out. In hilarious fashion. Bitters has videos.

Officer Antoine Bitters (Other Officer): Once upon a time, Bitters was a hopeful, enthusiastic young police cadet raring to take on the bad guys and protect the streets of New Armonia. But now he’s stuck on guard duty in the most uneventful prison ever, and his attitude is beginning to match his name. With not much “guarding” necessary, he spends most of his time creating his own entertainment, often at Matthews’ expense.

Officer John Andersmith (Prison Guard 1): Like Matthews, Andersmith is a stickler for the rules, but he’s immune to Bitters’ mind tricks, and everyone’s learned to keep the two apart if they’d like to finish the day without a headache. Even if he wasn’t such a stickler, the prisoners aren’t likely to try and bully him; he’s six foot, jacked and pretty good with a firearm. 

Mina South (Spiky): Lead guitarist and singer of rock band The Dakotas, South’s music career hit a screeching halt when she was arrested for leaking government secrets during a concert being aired live around the nation. She’s the most abrasive of the inmates of Stella Nova, but her attitude wins her nothing, especially from Andersmith.

Peter Maine (Sausage Head): A man of few words, Maine’s actions speak for him; he’s in Stella Nova for breaking in to the New Armonia Metro PD and holding the Chief Commissioner at flamethrower-point. Though he may seem intimidating, in reality he’s easily pushed around, particularly by fellow inmate South.

Detective David Washington (Detective Jowd): The third and quietest of Stella Nova’s inmates, Washington used to be New Armonia’s, and perhaps even all of Chorus’, best detective, Carolina’s best friend, and Grif’s mentor, until he was convicted for the murder of his partner Tucker. Though Grif maintains his innocence, he himself has accepted his guilt and his sentence. His detective skills haven’t blunted, though, so little happens within the prison walls that he doesn’t know about.

Officer Charlie Palomo (Prison Guard 2): The newest of the six guards in Stella Nova, Palomo’s innocent worldview has yet to be tarnished by the harsh realities of his job, or the exasperation of his colleagues. If anyone’s going to start a casual conversation, with a colleague or with an inmate, it’ll be Palomo, and he rarely gets the hint to keep his mouth shut unless explicitly told.

Chief Vanessa Kimball (Chief): Though only in the top spot for a few years, Kimball is an instant magnet for respect, even from top investigators such as Carolina. In fact, she and Carolina have struck up a rapport in the wake of Washington’s arrest, and she’s the only one Carolina will open up to. All the other members of the force, however, shouldn’t dream of getting casual with her.

Detective Franklin Donut (Memry): Once the Special Investigation Unit honed in on the location of an illicit deal taking place at The Red Base Chicken Kitchen, they sent in their undercover operative Donut in the guise of a recently hired waiter. He’s not too undercover, though; the bubbly, flirtatious attitude and unwitting innuendos are all the real him, which often makes his workmates, at the restaurant and the PD, very, very uncomfortable.

Girlie (Beauty): One of two operatives of Charon taking part in the deal at Red Base, though she’s beginning to regret agreeing more by the minute. Even if her “sixth sense” makes her invaluable for the job, her teammate is intolerable, and the other party is taking forever to turn up.

Sharkface (Dandy): Girlie’s teammate, Sharkface also has distaste for their assignment, though it has more to do with the extent of work he has to do than the company. If anything, the company is all that makes this assignment worth it, though she greatly disagrees.

Lopez (Bartender): The barman of The Red Base Chicken Kitchen, Lopez is very, very jaded from his job. His boss is borderline insane, the waiter is driving him insane, and no one understands a word he says anyway. The only thing that keeps him there is the knowledge that, at the very least, his work is appreciated.

Officer Katie Jensen (Prison Guard 3): As the closest in age to Palomo, and the one who can tolerate his company the best, Jensen is usually the guard on the same round as him. They can often be found chatting in the halls until they’re needed, at which point she’ll also be one dragging him back to work.

Officer Averil Volleyball (Prison Guard 4): The first time anyone sees Volleyball in uniform, they swear she’s a kissogram, not an actual officer, and her flirtatious manner doesn’t help. But anyone who actually tries to have their way? Those handcuffs aren’t for play, buddy.

Lavernius Tucker (Alma): Washington’s partner, well-known among his colleagues for being the one that can make the usually stoic detective crack the dorkiest smile ever. Or, well, was well-known, until Washington was charged with his murder. Could their relationship really have gone that sour that quickly?

The only characters of import that I have yet to cast are Doyle’s wife and son, and the hippy that makes DuFresne’s job harder than usual. Any ideas from those who know both franchises?

(Also, please don’t judge me for my choice of given names of the Freelancer and Chorus characters. I put a lot of thought into them.)

#Red vs Blue #Ghost Trick #AU #was going to tag all the characters #but tumblr won't let me bc there's too many #i'll just tag the ships then #grimmons #tuckington #kimbalina #sharkgirl? #I couldn't think of a better name

[louisahhh]

https://www.y-notmag.com/all-posts/2019/8/6/she-is-louisahhh

So tell me when did u start djing? How about producing?

I started DJing in 2004, when I was just turning 18.  Producing took a while longer, starting in about 2010,  starting to write and sing around the same time.  

What makes you the happiest of your job?

I love connecting with a room full of people, like setting up an emotional feedback loop and being able to be present and give the crowd what they need spiritually or psychically.  It’s a spiritual endeavor, I think.  I am also singing more, in preparation for a live show coming next year, and I love singing a lot, I feel really strong and joyful when I sing.  

What makes you the least happy of it?

I hate traveling, I hate missing everything I love in order to do right by the work I love to make.  

What is your favorite genres to mix?

I don’t really think in terms of genre because I’m all over the place; my favorite thing is when there are two songs that I’ve never played together and it just works, it’s perfect, there is the feeling that something new is born that is special and unique to that moment.  

Whats the most important aspect of a dj set for u?

Connection, I guess.  Like even if there are technical issues and the sound is shit, if the crowd is feeling it and excited and present, nothing else really matters.  On my side, I guess I like to stay ‘god conscious’, like the opposite of self conscious.  If i’m at all anxious about what people think of me, or feeling uncomfortable in my skin, it makes me less effective so I try to just stay present and tuned in with my heart and pray to not give a fuck about anything but what is necessary for the people in that room in that moment.  

Do u plan your sets or u pick as you go?

Normally, unless it’s a ‘high stakes’ situation (for instance, an event that’s being streamed or that I feel a lot of pressure about), I pick as I go.  One can’t anticipate how the crowd is gonna feel or react beforehand, so I think it’s important to have technical skill and spiritual intuition sharp and kind of leave the rest up to chance.  There will be strong intuitive sensations that I try to listen for that sometimes make no sense but work out well, and this is what makes every night so unique and special.

Do you single out  someone in a crowd who’s dancing having the most fun to decide what track to play next?

I mean sometimes people MAKE themselves known that they are that person.  I recently played a 9(!) hour back to back set with Maelstrom for the closing of legendary Parisian club, Concrete.  There was this amazing girl who was just giving us LIFE for the last 3 hours, she kept ducking under the guard rail and getting yelled at by security and coming back like 45 seconds later to continue to dance.  In cases such as this, it’s always going to be like, let’s play what will make this person happy because she is so generous with her amazing energy.  Usually, however, I’m trying to feel out the vibe in general and use my love or my truth to bring it up.  

Whats your favorite time of day or night to Dj? Why?

Probably like 3-5 am in the summer, because sun will just be coming up as I’m finishing and if it’s a festival or open air event, that’s really special, to bring in the day with music.  

Whats your fave 3 cities to play in?

Mexico City, Paris, Somewhere in Belgium

House or techno? Techno (but with teeth, no ‘business techno’ or tech house!)

Industrial or new wave? Industrial but with feelings.

Minimal techno or acid house? Probably minimal techno but both are pretty annoying to me honestly.  

Goa or psycho trance? Gabber.  

Who is/are the pope(s) of techno to you ? I love Paula Temple, she is such a force.  Dave Clarke because he’s a friend and hero.  Robert Hood because I believe he makes work that is soul-healing.  

Whats your earliest memory of electronic music ?

I was obsessed with Garbage and Nine Inch Nails growing up, so electronic music was way more about songs that gave me identity and meaning than with clubbing.  I feel like I am going back in that direction with my own work.  

Whats the future of club music to you?

The thing I am really invested in right now is the dichotomy of ‘safe space’, like the weirder and braver and more authentic you can be somewhere, the safer it is for everybody.  I think He.She.They.(EU) Is doing this, or Bound (NYC) , or Soft Leather. (LA).  It is really a privilege to play for this type of crowd, who can really get loose and experience tolerance and freedom and a sense of community; we’re in this together.

 Speaking of your personal attire what music genre do u relate it to the most? I like to dress up, put on my armor when I play.  It’s like...Sadomasochistic Joan of Arc High Fashion Queen.  

What have you had to learn “the hard way” working in clubland ? I had to get clean and sober in 2006 as ‘the lifestyle’ of drinking and using was killing me. I guess the lesson in that is that I am a better DJ and a better human being when I don’t drink and use.  

Your three favorite girl djs?  They’re not my favorite girls, they’re my favorites, period: as mentioned, Paula Temple, Jlin, Jubilee, Miss Kittin, Sentimental Rave, AZF, the Black Madonna, Solid Blake, Gina Turner, Cera Khin, Helena Hauff, Alienata, I could go on with the amazing music makers who are women...I was on a rave cruise at the end of 2018 with Ducky, Kittens, Nina Las Vegas and Madame X and it felt like ‘oh shit, here comes the future’ because everyone was playing such diverse stuff in such excellent form.  I felt like my heart could explode with love at the privilege of getting to be among these rad badass geniuses.  

Name three tracks that you often  find yourself relying on.

‘Sissel & Bass’ (Cera Khin remix) - Peder Mannerfelt

‘Colonized’ (perc metal mix) - Paula Temple

‘Vital Energy’ - LOUISAHHH and Maelstrom

[lilietsblog]

GHOST TRICK: THE BIG FINALE

so I finished the game yesterday all on my lonesome without internet

why yes I am perfectly fine and not emotionally compromised in the slightest

enjoy my screaming

IT'S GHOST TRICKING TIME which is to say it's ghost tricking time without internet so I'm doing this in wordpad tumblr really needs an 'import rtf' function >_>

SO from what I remember, when last we left off I was about to try to figure out how the fuck a knitted cap and a helmet are going to help me stop a bullet LET'S DIVE RIGHT BACK INTO THIS FOLKS

I still love how Sissel just ignores the dog's little 'WHATS A HOSTAGE O NO' instead of digging into explaining it

oh thank god the game DOES remember ive read this text before

...oh, I forgot how I did this the last time O WELL

all right, so I remember swiveling the lamp and dropping the hard hat, then when the knitted cap is over here I can swap it with the book and get it on the hook but how did I get the knitted cap over here

aha, he looked away for a moment, the helmet part is done what the fuck do i do now

AHA okay, so now i very quickly cart the ladder back and forth, I think I remember this

fuck, he noticed me, okay don't swivel the lamp while he's watching, swivel it while he's still looking away

I gotta note the 'I don't know why you're wearing my face' part HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

fuck, nope, I can't swivel the lamp back at that moment because he notices it clattering and turns right around FUCK OKAY LET'S TRY TO DO IT WITH THE LAMP THERE

ugh, if only I could do shit during the cutscene while he rolls away >_>

OK I SHOULD HAVE HAD MORE TRUST IN MISSILE HE IS GREAT AND A VERY GOOD DOG AND CAN AIM FOR SPLIT SECOND TIMING OF A BULLET BEING IN THE AIR OKAY

haha, and the knitted hat still hit Cabanela with enough velocity to knock him over I love this and I particularly love his dramatic leg up in the air he doesn't evne know what's happening he just aims to be the most dramatic possible at all times and it's really helping us out <3

'i love knitted hats... so warm, and most of all, so SOFT' <3 <3 <3

god Missile is so good this is pain IS THE DAWN DEADLINE A LIE MAYBE DID RAY JUST SAY THAT TO GET SISSEL'S BUTT MOVING I DON'T KNOW

oh yeah Cabanela's still got broken bones all over I kind of forgot about that

oh ok, looks less like broken and more like just really fucking bruised, becuase in that movement he's put pressure on all limb bones and nothing bent out of shape, so that's good

lmao and Cabanela's just like 'BUT IF I WAS KILLED IN THAT EXPLOSION THE SITUATION WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER' I I don't think it would necessarily work out that way, considering how much difficulty our protagonist was having saving just the professor :x

oh hey we've got our next source of information! should be quite a wellspring if Sissel remembers everything he should ask

yeeep Cabanela you FUCKED UP

oh, the gun :x

HON IM PRETTY SURE THE FIRST PART IS MORE IMPORTANT THE PART WHERE YOU TRIED TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF HIM CORNERED RATS BITE THIS IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY YOUR FAULT, ALL OF IT

aha, those cases, okay

and Cabanela was doing the thing because of Jowd that makes sense -_- kind of

yep, that one little snag kind of puts a question mark on the whole thing alright, that almost makes sense? kind of? makes Cabanela kind of a selfish butt doing this for his own obsession rather than for personally Jowd but makes sense

ok, the bringing him to justice minister to buy time thing actually does make a lot of sense it wasn't A LOT of time that he bought but it was just enough and that's what counts

oh hey, this guy used to have the job that the blue fake stole? (and yeah sounds like blue guys are just foreigners -_- bc they couldnt find spies that didnt stand out visually or anything)

hum not a scratch, huh regenerating dead body, okay

oh come ON Sissel don't be surprised now that part was obvious from the moment he said the corpse disappeared the meteorite's radiation, okay, quite interesting :D

"it was like a meteorite had struck me on the head" so, has that been a cause of death today yet, because if it hasn't, this looks like foreshadowing -_-

hum, so the gun would have been loaded because he controlled Kamila, which she then wouldn't have a clear memory of makes sense

HI LYNNE JUST IN TIME

arrest her to keep her safe, that actually makes perfect sense IF ONLY IT HAD WORKED LMAO no wonder pigeon guy roasted him for that in the deleted timeline XD

"while he was at it" <3 <3 <3

awwww pigeon guy was friends with him too <3

hee right on top of his striped jumpsuit honestly he looked less escaped-from-prison-ish in the paint-splattered robe thing XD

a present, huh?

awww see Sissel you don't feel lonely and that's what counts

ALRIGHT THEN :D LET'S FUCKING GO :D AND, UH, DO SOMETHING, I GUESS I love how out of proportion Sissel's powers are rewind time, talk to dead people... and move small objects a little

so, uh, Sissel, are you sure there's answers for YOU over there or did you just get into habit of telling this to yourself to feel better

okay well how the fuck did Jowd infiltrate a fucking SUBMARINE like, I just want to know the physics of how this happened?

omfg the bullet had a radio transmitter well, I have a newfound respect for Cabanela, I gotta admit like I already respected him but I just figured he shot the guy out of a desperate 'can't do anything else might as well try this' urge to do SOMETHING but nope he had a plan (which would have worked even with him dead)

wow, and he actually gave the thing to Jowd beforehand n i c e

wow, okay, that's stealthy

aha, and he can totally leave his body and wander around freely I think that was already confirmed but it's nice to know for even surer

wow, okay, what the fuck re: that thing reaching up from below that definitely looked like... something else for a moment there 0.0

aand okay the meteorite is possible to extract from his body I wonder if evil!Sissel actually knew that... or if that actually did anything to him :D

okay, what the FUCK and how many more people are dead now

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MISSILE IS HERE TOOOOOOOO

the phone is ringing, how convenient :D

ooohkay this is tricky

so, why the fuck were there baseball and basketball balls hanging in nets under the ceiling on a submarine ... ... you know what I don't want to know

wait, Kamila can't hear him? oh, right, over the phone ghosts communicate by close range telepathy

aaand this makes the FIFTH time Lynne's dead tonight! or is it sixth? did i lose track somewhere?

AWWWW THIS SCENE IS LIKE AN OVERDOSE OF CUTE

'i wonder what happened THIS TIME' yep lmao

no actually 'i dont remember what happened after that' sounds like evil!Sissel to me, personally

but do you know what this wheel does Sissel are you sure turning it is a good idea

"I just sort of blacked out, the next thing I knew, I was dead" <3 <3 <3

"now it's all making even less sense than before" AND THAT'S SAYING *SOMETHING*

but actually okay yea this does kind of sound like an explosion that killed Lynne and knocked Kamila out

aaand nope I was absolutely correct )=

can this guy only puppet one body at a time? couldn't he have just possessed Lynne and had her slit her own throat or shoot herself or hang herself or something? that sounds a lot more productive than having a little girl fight her I mean, even if he only can puppet one body at a time, puppetting Lynne would have been a lot more productive overall, is there a reason he can't?...

or does he just love to do things in the most convoluted and roundabout manner typical to villains everywhere -_-

"nobody ever calls the dead" ARGUABLE a number of phone calls has been made this night specifically for the purpose of putting our!Sissel on the line

aand okay :D looks like the blue assholes saved Lynne just in time, sort of ...for a certain definition of 'saved'

so anyway this guy said something like 'you cannot possibly comprehend my suffering' so it would be funny if he was just a random dumbass that a bad thing hapened to one (1) time, which granted also killed him, but all the misery since then has been of his own making and he's put every single person involved in the events through worse just over the course of tonight, and simply has no sense of scale, perspective or proportion I think that would be great if the story went there XD EDITOR'S NOTE IN RETROSPECT: the story didn't go there and that was not fucking okay (it's dead women in the fridge again!)

and Sissel can't understand revenge as a concept SOUL TWINSIES WITH ME OR WHAT

lmao Lynne is starting to get touchy about how many times she's needed rescue lately XD

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHY CAN'T I REACH FOR ANYTHING YET also, interesting to note that in the 4 minutes ago past, neither Lynne nor Kamila have a core looks like Sissel's interaction with this realm is limited after all, and not only by phones there's v interesting existential fuckery going on here, of the exact sort I ABSOLUTELY LOVE

oh THERE we go 'nobody ever calls the dead' ARGUABLE again and I love Lynne's signature instant-snap-into-hands-over-head animation + pose Good Reflexes

ALRIGHT, FIDDLING WITH RANDOM SHIT WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IT MIGHT DO TIME ...and that sure worked fast

hum, a random mechanic, alright

oh hon that's a, um, what's the opposite of exaggeration I know this word in Russian >_> over...littlification? that 'restless ghosts onboard' THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT THAT

lmao that was one odd fate change

alright, found the temsik fragment capsule, I see yay unexpectedly strong wastebucket lids (seriously, that's a whole freaking basketball, there's a reason the nets worked like that lmao)

alright, just watching the cutscene for now, that's fair this guy sure looks like he's going to abandon his entire crew and blow up the sub or something

"farewell, sir" WELL THAT DID NOT SOUND QUITE RIGHT

alright, and we're left in the capsule rather than the fragment which apparently did not have a core of its own for some reason

OMFG THERE'S A LITTLE RAT IN THE TORPEDO ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A RUBE GOLDBERG MACHINE INVOLVING A SMALL RODENT AGAIN BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE BEST KIND BUT ALSO THIS IS NOT HOW TORPEDOS WORK BUT ALSO HI RAT!!!

yeah exactly thanks Sissel! how the FUCK did it get here also I love that the characters DO pay attention to the wellbeing of innocent rats in this game <3

well, you COULD just try to get it to blow up earlier, in the water you'd be stuck but you'd be heroes, or something well, Lynne would go back to her body, Sissel would be stuck :D oh, and the rat would die, that's the bad news

YEAH LET'S SAVE THE RATTIE FIRST if this time the rat is going to be in the way rather than helping, well, I REALLY DO RESPECT THAT LET'S SAVE THE RAT

alright, after some trial and error I DID manage to get both weights in the same position (mostly by luck) and throw off the rat NOW TO SAFETY

alright, this looks promising OKAY IT ALSO LOOKS LIKE KAMILA AND LYNNE MIGHT BE SAFE FROM EVIL!SISSEL NOW THAT'S GOOD NEWS

yusss caring about rats ftw <3

that's what missiles do, huh they're unstoppable i dont know who it is i hear there but Missile is great yes

well, whatever this is, our!Sissel just turned it on maybe it's pumps to remove water!... not that they'll do much against an unplugged breach but

aha, okay, won't move for long

this movement through a machine's gears feels like the purest expression of the game's premise since the junkyard tricks at the very beginning <3

the way Kamila's speech kinda fades in from white? that worries me

...eeeyup

god but I love this game's animation. this little one of Lynne hoisting Kamila up on her back? it feels, like, PERFECTLY balanced with their weights and Lynne's strength and everything <3 <3 <3

oh my god Lynne why couldn't you just... be able to swim not that it would help much with Kamila unconscious but

oh my god Lynne is literally right here why do I still have trouble moving around freely???

oh, found it!

wow, she's climbing one-handed while carrying Kamila, that's some serious upper body strength <3

W E L P

YEP THAT'S SOME SERIOUS STRENGTH THAT SHE DIDNT JUST FUCKING FALL NOR DROP KAMILA

yeeep okay WOW

ARE YOU BOTH GOING TO DIE NOW OR WHAT okay, no, just fall, and not even in the water that's good news

LYNNE THIS IS NOT A POSE YOU WANT TO BE IN RIGHT NOW unless you're actually holding yourself against that shit in the background with your left hand and I just can't see it I guess

...nope, she was holding her chin LYNNE NO

MISSILE HURRAY

okay, the fan thing makes sense

now to swap around a bunch of broken pipes so they don't get in lynne's way, got it

FOR FUCK'S SAKE I REALLY DON'T SEE A WINNING COMBO HERE

aand I fucking lost but at least I got Sissel in position -_-

alright, now with one pipe turned off it actually works out easily it just... took me really long to realize I'd need Sissel for this one -_-

Lynne honey but have you considered: you have no fucking clue what's behind that door although presumably submarine has only been breached in one place and it's this room?

holy shit with the hook Sissel managed to hoist the combined weight of Lynne and Kamila now THAT's a nifty trick

SISSEL FOR FUCK'S SAKE SHE CAN'T MUSTER LEVERAGE FOR THIS BECAUSE SHE HAS TO HOLD HERSELF AND KAMILA UP AND SHE'S TIRED SHE CAN ASK FOR HELP EXCLUSIVELY IN SWAHILI SWEARS AND IT'D STILL BE A WAY THAT YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH

aww, someone's saving us!!!

someone who commented on unstoppable missiles earlier, perhaps?

right, the truth... that's still relevant. while on a sinking submarine. yep

haha sinking submaries i have just been playing oxenfree haha

oh wow that's an improvised mechanism made out of garbage sticking in a close range telekinetic field nifty shit

oh oh okay that explains absolutely nothing evil!Sissel is not evil now, or what?

lmao this is getting more confusing, but like... in a very satisfying way <3

evil!Sissel still seems to have SOME amount of powers, at least, though possibly not the manipulating humans ones? but this amount of telekinesis is still incredible

so okay our Sissel's name possibly IS Sissel, but this dude's isn't I'm more confused than ever before I doubt there are three of them, so...

ahh, Lynne making Kamila more comfortable <3 <3 <3 and again, animation is fucking excellent. just, the timing of everything? it's better than 90% of all 3D animation I've ever seen in games

power and time, okay, got it so the dawn deadline IS real, just not for him wait, possibly not for Sissel and Missile, either?

I see he still fell in his signature ridiculous pose it's less funny now, overall

ah, okay, so the time effect is different too it seems to have been the same for Sissel and Missile though? is this a personality powers deal?

I love that Missile is perfectly comfortable with weird shit because as a dog, that's about the amount of understanding he has of his everyday surroundings, too <3

oh, hum so the moment this guy actually 'died' is the moment that blue guy took out the fragment?

wipe out everybody, huh

okay, so the shooting is as we knew, kind of

the first shot missed the mark, huh? quite curious, quite curious stray bullets are known to be deadly :D

alright, so that's a conversation that mostly confirmed what we already knew we have a new ally though, sort of

aand Lynne's empathy saves the day -_- like I said earlier, this guy's feelings aren't like... unique or anything, he just sucks at theory of mind

Kamila!!! so hey kiddo this guy in front of you is the guy who killed your mom

anyway, I'm still pretty sure Sissel hadn't yet introduced himself to you when you started calling him "Sissy" so there's that lead

and Kamila makes herself comfortable <3 I love this Little Lady so much <3

AWWWW THE RADIO THING <3 <3 <3

'and what about a torpedo' WHAT ABOUT A TORPEDO LYNNE THIS SOUNDS EXTREMELY UNSAFE

KAMILA ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU'RE TOUGH AS FUCK

OMG IT'S A GRAPE SERVING MACHINE I LOVE THE LUXURIOUS FUCK THIS WAS MADE FOR

alright, torpedo room, that works

swap  the switches to get them unstuck!!!

so I'm going to guess everyone there died, too, and Sissel's going to have to prevent that, too that makes perfect sense

that 'understand exactly how he feels' thing our!Sissel and evil!Sissel are really fucking different in this particular respect :D

awww and the girls convince the doggo <3 <3 <3

so, does Kamila know about the dawn deadline for all ghosts, or

oh thank god I didn't need to control that hop this game really has a policy of not having a permaloss option <3

Yomiel, huh so that's his name

alright, and 'Sissel' is an alias ...I'm just going to keep using it for the protag, just to make things slightly less confusing

ah, so this guy had access to national secrets, and that's how he did the singer thing

and he was proven innocent offscreen <3 <3 <3 stylish

stylish animation, nice

didn't help anybody? did you ever try? because our!Sissel sure figured that shit out quickly

welp, the blue guys are assholes but then, they were also kind of dealing with an asshole I can imagine why they didn't think he was reliable to deal with :x

awww, I like the leaflet guy so much <3 <3 <3

I love how Jowd's like 'well, I'm dead, are you happy now' and Sissel's like 'so anyway about that' FUCK death not tonight, not when Sissel's here <3 <3 <3

alright, and this guy's a robot that still doesn't quite he's pretty human-like >_> I am not a fan of the blue guy in charge is all I'm saying also lmao I nicknamed this one 'iron man dracula' i didn't mean it that way but

ah, remote-controlled, alright that 'farewell' was odd then

'your country's use of technology is just plain off' I LOVE THIS

could there have been two pieces of meteorite in this guy's body? okay, nope still!

OH WOW FOUR MINUTES BEFORE HIS DEATH THAT'S THAT'S ACTUALLY EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FROM THE VERY BEGINNING EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT THIS BODY BELONGED TO THE WRONG 'WHOM' THIS IS SOMEWHAT MORE AMBITIOUS THAN PLANNED BUT

...okay, no, his 'death' would actually be before the control room was launched, not all those years ago STILL THIS IS THE -EXACT- THING

alright anyway this is plenty of buildup WHO THE FUCK IS OUR PROTAGONIST it's funny how so far absolutely 0 of what we've seen has pointed to that I have plenty of odd thoughts in my mind ofc 'that guy from another point of time' being the prime one as a homestuck, the possibility of there being multiple ghosts of the same person doesn't faze me in the slightest in fact it seems like an intuitive conclusion BUT THEIR PERSONALITY SURE IS DIFFERENT

anyway, :D :D :D

Final Chapter

...aha! so it counted ten years ago after all! dang :D

aha, I see that mascot thing I see baby Lynne!!!

I note how for someone threatening to shoot the kid, Yomiel's gun sure is pointing in the wrong direction AND he's holding out the kid to the side, not between himself and Jowd SOMEONE sucks at hostage taking lmao

a kitty, huh

and then a meteorite, okay

I note the lamp

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Yomiel is thinking 'so maybe I'll die in another way and all this will have not happened, that's a better outcome anyway' isn't he god his faces are Sissel faces and look this game knows EXACTLY what it's doing with its visuals exactly one facial exression of Yomiel's has not matched Sissel's I doubt it's because of lazy artists

alright, so a good plan would be swapping the mascot and the lamp

but seriously, WOW Yomiel sucks at taking hostages this game's animation is always stellar and brilliant, there's NO fucking coincidence there he was absolutely not willing in any way to put baby Lynne in actual danger, even if he pretended he did and it worked on Jowd

anyway how the fuck do we get to the lamp

'we can talk about all this later' ARGUABLE TBH the entire, like, THING is going to change oh man is everyone going to go back to their bodies 10 years ago with their new memories because that's fucking hardcore was Kamila even BORN yet

augh I DONT KNOW I CANT REACH I THINK I CANT REACH ANYTHING WHAT DO I DO MISSILE IS IN THE SWEET POTATO ON THE FOUNTAIN SISSEL IS IN THE NOZZLE BUT NOT THE CENTRAL ONE AND CANT REACH THE CENTRAL ONE WHAT DO I DO

okay sounds like I missed my chance let's try that again

ghhhh okay I think I have figured this sequence out even though I have to rewind again 1) rock the basket 2) jump into nozzle to launch the potato 3) Sissel jumps into the potato and then from the potato to the central nozzle 4) Missile jumps into the potato 5) launch the potato x2

okay, Mino fell into the fountain, not that I know how this can help because AGAIN, Missile can't reach Mino from the lantern :x and Sissel can't do absolutely fucking anything

annd the finale is a cutscene alas

alright, let's try that again...

hum we didn't get a FATE CHANGE registered after dropping Mino might this mean we have to do something right in the process?

AW YEAH THAT DEFINITELY JUST HAPPENED LMAO

are we going to kill everyone by dropping Mino on them instead XD

trick time, huh Sissel still can't reach anywhere Missile can swap two identical lanterns, not that this does anything he can talk to Sissel, for what THAT's worth

aha, the lantern dropped, Missile can move around now, that's good

Sissel still can't do shit though

well, that's the detective's LEG, not... anything else or anything

oh man, yeah... YOUNG JOWD IS A DUMBASS man, even Yomiel isn't aiming at him anymore, he's like 'hey dude are you okay' so the theory that Sissel is alternate!Yomiel is really gaining steam in my head not that it wasn't the primary one all along but

AW FUCK YEAH MISSILE THE BULLET CATCHING BADASS DOGGO!!!

anyway sweet potato?

BOO YAH um or not

OR YES ACTUALLY THAT WORKS

OH MY FUCKING GOD YEP THE LAMPPOST FUCKING MINO

awwwwww and finally the trauma of remembering your death is brought up!!!! Sissel cares <3 <3 <3 (and Yomiel doesn't at the moment NOT THAT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT IN CONTEXT) (then again I'd understand it if Sissel didn't either but he's the purest being in existence so)

awwww Yomiel is finally going to contribute!!!

omfg lmao "Make it spray as if your life depended on it!" "Uh, I'm dead though" Yomiel is winning ALL the sensitivity awards tonight <3 <3 <3

I I think that Yomiel hasn't done anything yet oh, okay, we're still winning time

holy FUCK Yomiel that was definitely a thing you just did

dear Young Jowd, Yomiel is the one who saved her. Not gods

awwww and he gave baby Lynne a detective's badge <3 <3 <3 he's so good with children <3

so, can Yomiel be alive please :x ALRIGHT, HE IS THAT WORKS

THE KITTY DID THE METEORITE KILL THE KITTY

wait wait wait is is Sissel the kitty is that why he has no idea how guns work or anything else like that that that is truly fucking incredible f y'all's i AND I GUESS IT FITS WITH HIM AND MISSILE JUST GOING AROUND SAVING PEOPLE TOGETHER LIKE A BADASS DUO AND IT FITS WITH HIM GETTING KILLED BY LYNNE'S FIRST SHOT ON ACCIDENT I HONESTLY CONSIDERED A RAT OPTION FOR LIKE A SPLIT SECOND THERE

OMG OMG OMG OMG YE S AND HIS NAME REALLY IS SISSEL

god jesus fucking christ this this fucking game i just im howling this this definitely is a thing that just happened it owned me so hard im so fucking owned right now

yep hes the cat he's Yomiel's cat

aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww there's a good reason he had identity confusion in all this they WERE confusable as one being for a while

'her' huh?

oh man wow THIS particular part of the story sucks

so Sissel was a girl's name all along? okay

but also, FUCK no wonder he went bonkers specifically about being unable to die

'his powers couldnt help anybody' more like they couldn't help ONE SPECIFIC PERSON

so that bag is a kitty carrier huh and Lynne's miss accidentally killed the kitty

LMAO THE PART WHERE WE ALL THOUGHT LYNNE HAD KILLED THE PROTAG WASN'T WRONG

I DAMN FUCKING REMEMBER THAT CAT JUST FOR YALLS I I ABSOLUTELY REMEMBERED THERE WAS A CAT THERE I JUST NEVER LINKED IT TO ANYTHING I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A VERY PRETTY RANDOM STRAY

anyway Yomiel that's what you get for playing with guns they're deadly weapons and result in death you're fucking welcome

so anyway who the fuck is Ray

but anyway kitty Sissel saved everyone...

okay but hold on hold on hold on I didn't quite get the implications about the fiancee the first time around WHAT THE FUCK CAPCOM i was just recently thinking how fucked up it was that I remembered the last name of Polly Jenkins, just because of how much her brief story shook me

and uh I think is that also the implication here because that's not fucking okay

anyway so did Yomiel die as the result of that or nay bc that looked fucking deadly if not instantaneously so

god but this ffucking game

this fucking... game

oh Missile I'm pretty sure YOU are going to see HIM alright lmao wasn't Jowd taking him home

but also damn the original events of these ten years, as remembered by - a dog and a cat - Detective Jowd and Kamila (but not Alma, who never was brought back to life directly) - Lynne - Cabanela - the medical examiner - the minister of justice AND NO-ONE ELSE ...wait, no ALSO THE GUY FROM THE FUCKING PARK ...yep that's a thing we're doing

so another important thing is that the rock star kid is going to be okay and the curry guy, too nothing bad happened to them in this timeline, right?

ALRIGHT HI RAY WHAT/WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

(right now my bet's on 'a rat')

oh, Sissel also killed two people tonight, that happened

lmao and in this version of evens Missile died in the presence of Temsik

omfg and Ray is alternate!Missile this is fucking amazing <3

lmao his ghost aged and lost its powers?

also the dawn deadline was a lie he just wanted to get Sissel's butt moving I FUCKING KNEW IT

I love how Sissel's just "I DID WHAT" even though he's been doing that all evening this time around too

yup doggie's a fucking liar the only real time limit is the lifetime they would have had if they were alive huh damn

but seriously I called that before I started this section of the liveblog even if I think I never actually made that post 'what are the odds Ray is a fucking liar' I don't think I ever wrote that I kept getting distracted but yep I fucking called this

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART GOD I AM ;U; THIS DOGGO

anyway one participant of the events who definitely wasn't born yet 10 years ago is indeed Missile 0.0 how's that... gonna work...

but I do love that just... the justice minister, of all people, is also going to be in possession of those 10 years

OH MY FUCKING GOD LYNNE IS ABOUT TO HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK I KNOW THERE'S NO GUN BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

KAMILA WHAT THE FUCK DON'T FUCKING DO THAT THAT'S ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING

aawwwwwww IT WORKED THIS TIME AROUND

'nice to meet you' OH BOY OH BOY I GET HOW IT WORKS NOW I THINK ...uh, I'm not sure how Lynne knew to flee from the junkyard then, but either way it looks like they're only getting back their memories at the PRESENT and that's why Kamila didn't fUCKING KNOW AND REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH DOING THAT JUST NOW

LMAO SOMETHING'S GOING TO EXPLODE TONIGHT

oh, nevermind, it's not that yet :D but it really does sound like it's going to :D right... about... dawn? :D

aww Jowd actually carries toy badges with him everywhere <3 <3 <3 'child handling tools'

still a kitten, huh yeah, that whole Temsik thing :D

aww, and here's her, all alive and everything

SO BIG MEMORYSPLOSION PLEASE

(at dawn) (it's fucking coming that's my headcanon and you can't beat it) (a bunch of people are going to become really fucking traumatized tonight)

hey!!! Missile!!! Cabanela brought him, huh

so, what's up with Yomiel, anyway

COME ON SISSEL MAKE NICE WITH MISSILE HE CAN'T CLIMB UP THERE

that guy's imitating Cabanela lmao

Memry <3 <3 <3

very best customer, huh

AWWW ITS THIS GUY HI GUY YOU'RE OKAY NOW WITHOUT YOMIEL TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU'RE JUST FINE

hah, and these two

.............................................yup. they died

'the indescretions of a minister perhaps?' I LOVE THIS FUCKING LADY I LOVE HER I LOVE HER

ah, these two what deal is it this time

the little rock sinter guy!!! yeah!!!!

hi medical examiner guy <3 guess you're not doing medicine after all huh

HI LEAFLET PARK GUY YOU ARE STILL CUTE

HI BAILEY

oh man oh man Yomiel :D hey are talking about Yomiel :D

SHOW ME HIS FIANCEE YOU COWARDS

lmao he's the painter this time even the robe sits the same

SO SHOW ME

OH YEAH OH YEAH HE REMEMBERS THATS THE PICTURE OF THE FUCKING CAT AND NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT

YUP YUP THIS IS IT lmao that crane i sure do remember it well it murdered two people tonight <3 <3 <3 kitty <3 <3 <3

aw yeah! in that picture with Missile!!!

#douche mcpointyglasses #is she dead #(for quite a while there the answer was 'basically yes') #cute shoes #dance dance inspector #the mysterious him #alba dracula #iron man dracula #sexy lamp #ddoggo!!! #those are all the character tags i remember #liliet plays ghost trick #this has been A FUCKING TRIP #i love this game

[temsikfates-archive]

Relationships

Ok so I decided to make a post for the main relationships in this blog. If I forgot someone, just let me know! I’m not gonna add the AUs here because it would made things even more messy than they already are adskjdkj

Yomiel (Shades)

Jowd | fourminutesbefore (Friend)

“I guess I can consider Jowd my friend, despite all the shit I did to him. He forgave me and we both are trying to deal with the awful memories from that terrible timeline. I owe him a lot. I feel like I’ll forever owe him for everything I did. He says he forgives me, but I don’t feel like this is enough. I think my debt to him will never be completely paid, but I’m trying my best.”

Cat!Sissel | catofkismet/phantompets (Best Friend)

“My best friend in the entire world is a cat. Call me crazy, but that’s the truth. He’s the only one I can talk to about my traumas from the past timeline and he’s been helping me a lot.”

Missile | fourminutesbefore/phantompets/ghostlymissile (Friend)

“I’m not a dog person and honestly, dogs makes me feel nervous, but this particular one? I like him. He helped Sissel to avert my fate, so I owe him my life too.”

Apollo Justice | taiyodoroki (Friend)

“Apollo is really nice and we have a lot in common. First, he appreciates red. Got my respect. He also loves cats and is a nerd so thumbs up. He is also very nice to me.”

Apollo Justice | aptlyattorney (Friend)

A lawyer I met when I was talking about cats. I ended up telling him about my secret because he seemed to know I was lying. Must be a lawyer thing I guess, since it’s part of their profession to detect when someone is lying or hiding facts. He seems nice and has a good taste for suits.

Koven | spiritkat (Friend)

“I’ve met this kitten accidentally and I already love him. He reminds me a lot of Sissel and he’s also willing to help me. I can’t have enough kitty friends, the more the better!”

Kamila | fourminutesbefore (Unofficial niece figure)

“Kamila…. What do I have to say about this poor girl whose life I tormented so much in a past timeline? I feel terrible for what I did to her. I’m trying to atone for everything I did to her. She seems to like me, I guess. Guess I’m an awkward uncle figure to her, apparently.”

Selena Dean | hackerdean (Pupil/Unofficial niece figure)

“Met this girl one day in a coffee shop while waiting for a client to show up. She seems to be into programming too and likes cats. We have a very nice chat. She seems to look up to me as a mentor. Guess I got another awkward niece figure.”

Connor | bambino-muses (Friend)

“This is the Android that was sent by CyberLife to work with the detectives in the PD. Really innocent. Sissel is very fond of him and I like him too. I’m really curious to study about his programming.”

Cabanela | nooothinglikeme (Grudge)

“Ah, the inspector… He still annoys me a lot. I haven’t forgiven him, but Sissel says I should try to forgive him and move on. And even though I know she’s right… I don’t know if I’m ready yet. The inspector should also forgive me, this go both ways. I dunno how the fuck he found out about the timelines, but it seems it has something to do with the multiverses I recently found out were real.”

Kaname Date/Saito Sejima | psyncin-in-the-restrain (Awkward Friend)

“Met this guy while walking on the streets once. Seems to be a new detective in the precint, working with the local detectives. Said he came from Japan and seems to be working on a big case. He’s a bit of a werid guy and I had a weird feeling about him. Maybe it’s me being paranoid or just my trust issues alerting me to be careful, but I’m definitely curious about him. I guess I can consider him a friend now. He’s nice towards me and Sissel and he respects our relationship, so I guess I can trust him.”

Manipulator Yomiel (Shard)

Seluna | garounthropy/silenthcwl (Close Friend/Crush)

“We started out in a bad mood, but then we turned out to be friends. She reached a hand out to me when no else would. She’s… been doing a lot for me. More than anyone else ever did. I guess I am developing feelings for her, but I think it’s just my grief that’s making me project Sissel on her… I’m still confused about my feelings for her, but I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship.”

Cat!Sissel | catofkismet /phamtompets (Best Friend)

“My best friend. He’s been beside me for years and has been my only companion and the only one I could talk to. Too bad cats can’t talk. I love him so much…”

Apollo Justice | taiyodoroki (Friend)

“I like this kid. I’ve been trying to teach him how to shoot people. He’s shot that inspector twice. I’m proud of him.”

Jowd | fourminutesbefore (Enemy/Victim)

“Ah, Jowd, I hope you’re enjoying your spot in your prison cell. I make sure to visit you everyday to see if you’re suffering properly. I’ll make sure you pay for what you did to me.”

Cabanela | nooothinglikeme (Enemy/Victim)

“This bastard inspector always like to get in the way of my plans. I killed him once and I’d kill him as many times as needed.”

Alfendi Layton | twiceminded (Victim)

“This one’s an interesting case. He’s intriguing. He reminds me ot that bastard inspector in white, and he’s also a man of the law so another reason for me to dislike him. Right now, I’m just toying with him, seeing how far I can push him…”

Bluemiel | fourminutesbefore (Enemy/Victim)

“This one’s a shameful alternate. I can’t even consider him an alternate. How can he not feel the need for vengeance for the people who destroyed our lives? He’s weak. He’s pathetic. And I hate him.”

Sissel

Alma | celebratorysoul (Close Friend)

“Alma’s the adorable wife of Detective Jowd. We have much in common and lots of interesting stuff to talk about. She’s helped me distract myself and feel better when that terrible incident at the park happened.”

Larry | itsgottabethebutz (Friend)

“We met once in a very hot day and we drank a limonade together. Despite initially flirting with me, he quickly understood I’m engaged and he’s really nice towards me! We’re both artists and I love it! Larry is a very fun guy to be around and very respectful too. I really want him and Yomiel to be friends too. Yomiel needs more friends in his life to distract himself.”

Kaname Date/Saito Sejima | psyncin-in-the-restrain (Friend)

“A very nice guy I met in a Market Fair! He also is an awkward friend of Yomiel’s. I guess an awkward friend is better than nothing! He’s a really nice guy and I really want to get to know him better. I really hope Yomiel can get along with him. Saito seems so lonely and he could use a friend, same to Yomiel. Just hope Yomiel stops with his silly jealousness towards him.

Teenmiel

Clive Dove | clivedoveplblog (Second Best Friend/Classmates)

“Clive is my other friend besides Sissel. It’s weird how we came to be friends, but I like him. He loves to tease me, but since it’s in a friendly way and not in a mean way like the bullies, I don’t really mind it. He’s a bit mysterious sometimes, but he’s fun to be around.”

TeenSissel

Clive Dove | clivedoveplblog (Friend/Classmates)

“Clive is Yomiel’s friend, so he’s my friend too. He spends more time with Yomiel, but we also do some shenanigans together.”

#Relationships;

[laughingpinecone]

Yuletide letter

I am laughingpineapple on AO3

Aw yeah, Yuletide time again, here we go! I love all these characters and canons and, barring DNWs, I'm interested in any story about them you might already have in mind. Here's a list of ideas if you prefer to start from a prompt.

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (doubly so if the event the fic focuses on is canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and the likes, bonding and emotional support/intimacy (platonic too!!), loyalty, casefic, surrealism, established relationships, future fic, hurt/comfort or just comfort from the ample canon hurt, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional friendships/relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic where applicable, dreams and memories and identities, and did I mention worldbuilding

Cool with: what-ifs, AUs, any tense, any pov, any rating, plotty, not plotty, IF, nerdy canon references, unrequested characters popping up

DNW: bleak endings, rape, PWP, non-canonical children, unrequested ships, canon retellings

***

Ghost Trick: Jowd, Cabanela

The fandom that got me into Yuletide to begin with! I love the whole cast and their intricate connections, but Jowd and Cabs are my forever faves. I ship them dearly, and I ship them dearly with Alma when she's alive, but I'm also always interested in gen about them as long as the bond between them is central in the fic. I didn't request her because if you're down for, say, case fic with or without Sissel's help, I didn't want to make any additional characters necessary. I just want the fic to star Jowd and Cabanela but also feel free to use the whole extended family aka her, Sissel, Pigeon Man, Kamila, Lynne and/or Missile at will! Or Emma or whatever.

Cabanela has Jowd as his whole motivation, and while Jowd's family comes first for him, we know they were close and he cares for his BF(F) in his own way. I love Cabanela with his endless energy and confidence and Jowd's fatalism, their occasional role reversals (who'd have pegged Cabanela for the hard-working guy and Jowd for the one who'd swoop in and get all the merit!), their banter and trust and tacit understanding, how after five years of not talking to each other and thinking Cabanela hated him, Jowd got that watch and understood what it meant and came through for his friend. I love their tragedy and the prospect of a happier life in the new timeline, with Sissel watching over them (and chasing Cabanela's scarf which is clearly a fantastic cat toy). I love their design, their clothes and the shapes and details of their bodies, so if you ever want to indulge in physical details, not necessarily in a sexual context, stuff like a very soft hug with a majestic ticklish beard, either of their hair getting in their eyes when wet, or Jowd stepping on the damn scarf while Cabanela is hopping downstairs, please do indulge to your heart's content.

I think the game implies that Jowd, Sissel, Yomiel and Missile have their memories of the old timeline, while everyone else does not, so I'm always interested in stories set in the new present that use this imbalance – maybe Cabanela eventually gets briefed on what happened, but it's still not the same as remembering.

A story could be focused on those weird presents they reportedly gave each other – surprise me, or maybe in the new timeline Jowd gifts the framed gun to Cabanela, that missing piece of evidence that would've proven his innocence, now that Cabs doesn't need it and doesn't even know what it's for?

Or maybe it could explore a what-if scenario where Yomiel is stopped and redeemed on the Yonoa, but there is no timeline reset, and Jowd and Cabanela are left to mend what's left of their lives.

Or any slice of life plot in and around Jowd's household is always welcome. Cabanela with his unwavering loyalty and enthusiasm, and that absolute confidence that can be charming or off-putting depending on the person and situation, and Jowd and Alma allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of that much affection, and giving him a place to rest. And at least Jowd has a personality that’s sturdy enough that Cabs can bounce off it, a charismatic presence of his own with his rough humor, physical prowess, brittle emotional sphere and occasional stonewalling.

Obduction: Caroline Farley

I was sure I'd fall in love with the puzzles, I wasn't sure this brand new world would captivate me as much as D'ni ever did, and yet here I am. There's so much to explore about Hunrath's unique setup, with people coming in from more than two centuries, adapting, sharing their memories of Earth. The tree and all the questions and philosophical views that come with it, the seeds and that starry expanse at the heart of it all... and then Soria and then Maray and Kaptar, which we know so little about.

I'd like to see it all filtered through Farley's eyes because she's my fave, and also because I think her background is pretty interesting in and by itself, having been pinecone'd away from Earth when she was three years old. It makes for an interesting counterpoint to the born-and-bred Earthlings like CW with his nostalgia (for the record, I'd read platonic banter between these two for days), but she's no Hunrath native either. And the way her house got swapped into such a central position and became a hub for the community... cool stuff. And what about the mysterious deceased John Farley, who can't be her blood brother because we're told the only relative who came with her was her grandmother, who is highly unlikely to be her husband because of the way “Farley” seems to be used as her maiden name (the house she was swapped with is “Farley's house”...) and who is buried next to a man? An adopted brother maybe? What made her end her stint as a mayor so suddenly? What's a meditation with the Arai feel like, how does it change her outlook on her daily life? What weird thing happened on Hunrath one day? What’s daily routine over there? What required a team-up with dear Josef and did she think a little higher of him afterwards (I'll love Josef if Cyan won't, he wasn't the right mayor during those trying times but the man has his merits damn it)? I nominated the three main characters because they’re the only ones who get fleshed out properly but feel free to include any of the other people we see mentioned!

Twin Peaks: Albert Rosenfield [TWIN PEAKS THE RETURN SPOILERS. Final Dossier prompts to be added asap, I'd like Mark Frost to know that dropping new canon right after signups two years in a row is highly yuletidephobic)

Ships: Albert/Dale, Albert/Harry and Albert/Dale/Harry.

DNWs, mostly in the sense of topics fraught with complicated fandom opinions I wouldn't risk in an exchange: Albert/Constance and hell God baby damn no we ain't talkin about Judy.

So the story ends (or, ahem, artistically cliffhangers, as it does) with the fiery pacifist locked behind a tired, stoic mask, shooting a friend with shaky hands and taking pride in it, and not being even greeted by the man he set out to find before the asshole disappeared again. Cheers to the FBI. Needless to say, I'd like to see my favorite character find himself again, on his own or with the aid of any combination of characters of your choosing. It's never too late to shovel yourself out of the shit, Albert!

I could see him resigning on the spot (especially if Gordon and Diane also disappeared?) and staying in town to heal. Does he go to Harry, does he end up adopted by the Trumans, does he find some of his fire back by shouting at Doris and bonding with her that way, to remarkable mutual benefit? Does Frank, in all earnest and from personal experience, recommend him a hat to cover the hair loss? Or does he end up bonding with Hawk, how would their snark and general judgeyness complement each other? Does he make it to Bookhouse Boy eventually, and what kind of adventures or simple late night chats at the Bookhouse could take place then?

In a year or two or five, does Hawk find Coop like Margaret predicted, under the moon on Blue Pine mountain? How do they reconnect after so long? Do they fall in love again, as changed, tired men? I find it an interesting Albert/Harry and eventually Albert/Harry/Dale scenario, filled with bittersweet possibilities. An Albert/Dale option could be that Albert does not stay in town and Coop goes to find him, and they start again wherever Albert lives now.

Whether he resigns or not, does he keep in touch with Constance? Do they exchange punny second opinions and gallows humor in general over Skype?

He and Denise are on a first name basis, how did they bond, what's their average night out like, or what happened in the Philly office back when Gordon was still their boss that Gordon could absolutely never find out about?

Ditto Diane, it's so easy to picture them smoking together and presenting a united “fuck this and fuck you” front in the office, so what was their friendship like, how did it continue after Diane [got tulpa'd and] resigned? Onto even more painful territory, if Diane didn't disappear in pt17 or if she eventually comes back on her own, how would they rebuild their friendship? Do they come to terms with that horrible day when he shot her? Does she remember those 20 years of their friendship and therefore also dying by his hand, or does she not remember, and so he did kill 'a' Diane along with all their time together, and found another one he didn't even know he'd lost so long ago?

Tammy is pretty much his padawan, what's her apprenticeship like? I love how she's technically Gordon's protege but he's the one who takes time to talk to her and /know/ her (like the fact that she gets carsick). Does she ever get to make him talk about himself? About what this search for Coop means to him?

Did he... did he ever run into Wally by accident in any random corner of the country, and how'd that go down? Like, ignoring the Andy and Lucy connection (although I do adore Andy and Lucy), just Wally as his own very peculiar person, bumping into Albert or being involved in a case or whatever.

Ditto Jade – she's got her brand of pragmatism and of managing to come out unscathed and unflapped by supernatural nonsense, it'd be fun to bounce her off another rare sensible soul like Albert who could easily turn up in Vegas working on a blue rose case.

Much to Albert's chagrin, feel free to double down on the canon-appropriate weirdness! But also on the canon-appropriate cheese...

#letter

[blue-mood-blue]

I got tagged by @anonymousalchemist!

Nickname(s): I don’t really have one. I remember a friend telling me years ago that I looked like a Molly, but that never stuck. Although I've started calling myself “blue” online a bit, so I guess that’s one! OH, or people will just call me Mary because they don’t realize that my first two names are just my first name. I don’t have a middle name, just a two-name first name. It’s confusing. (Best Buy calls me Marry when they send me emails and it’s hilarious and the only reason I haven’t unsubscribed from the mailing list yet.)

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Height: 5'3"

Last Thing I Googled: Various versions of “how the fuck do I use Greenstone” (a program for creating digital library type things). I got a bunch of links to articles I’d have to pay for and a seminar I could attend. Google failed me.

Favorite Artist: That is... quite a question. All the different kinds of artists? I like Degas because my mom likes Degas and I painted a picture of one of his sculptures for art class. I know there are more, but I’m terrible about remembering the names of the artists. If we’re including other art forms, I could spend a really long time talking about the different poets and writers I love. Like, an awkwardly long time. I still have most of my english textbooks from my first round of college. (And if we’re talking music, that’s a grab-bag of random genres even on a good day.)  

Song Stuck in My Head: Who Did That to You by Shawn James & the Shapeshifters. I was sent to it by SoundCloud after listening to a song included on fanart of Lup, and it is also fitting for Lup. Plus it’s great “get pumped” music.

Last Movie I Saw: I think it was Wonder Woman? Pretty sure. GREAT movie, I really enjoyed it. It sounds like everyone else did, too! I have higher hopes for the future of superhero movies than I did previously.

Why Did I Choose My URL: It’s not the best story. Before shit hit the fan, mentally, I had a lot of nights where I felt unusually low. I called them “blue moods” and figured I’d just deal with them until they went away. This blog was one of those ways of dealing with them - it was more anonymous than my last blog so I felt freer while using it, and I decided to use it to publish fanfiction instead of letting my ideas collect dust hidden away in a folder. The blog didn’t stop everything that came next, but I’ve had wonderful experiences because of it.

What Did My Last Relationship Teach Me: OH BOY, yeah, the last one... a few things, I guess? I guess, mostly, that it’s good to know what you want from a relationship before you get into it. Also, communication is a good thing. Uh. And, even if the person is very nice and cooks you lentils (even though you hate lentils) you don’t need to feel obligated to stick with it if you’re not feeling it.

(Plus give yourself some years to grow because you might Discover Things about yourself that are Illuminating.)

And a bonus lesson, learned vicariously through my date: if you have a story about a horse dying a horrible death (I will not specify, none of you want to know I promise), don’t tell it to your date. Especially when you’re taking your date to dinner, but also not ever. This shouldn’t even need to be said. 

Religious or Spiritual: Um, solid mix of both? Went to Catholic school for a lot of years, was in choir for a lot more years, but it’s... I don’t know, more of a casual thing to me? I like to think about the big questions, at least. I’m more of a personal meditation type. 

Favorite Color: Purple! 

Average Hours of Sleep: Pffft, not enough probably. A few hours...

Lucky Number: Kind of out of nowhere, but I like the number 4. That seems like a very solid, very me number... no particular reason for that, though. 

Favorite Character(s): We’re asking the real questions today. I’m gonna miss a whole bunch, I’m sure... The main trio from hp, Sissel, Lynne, and Missle, Artemis Fowl and Holly Short, Jack, Elizabeth, and Booker (and the Lutece twins I GUESS), Taako and Lup and pretty much every other character on that show. Frisk (and all of the others let’s be real). Many, many iterations of Link and Zelda but a special place in my heart for Midna. Cecil and Carlos. Aziraphale and Crowley and the whole crew. And, of course, all of my own children who I love equally (but especially Ru) because a parent is not supposed to have favorites.

Dream Job(s): Dream job time! So here’s the plan - somehow survive graduate school and also graduate, escape school forever (and I MEAN IT this time), find a job at a library or a museum or an archive I actually don’t care as long as the people are cool and the hours are relatively predictable. Have a decently comfortable place to live with all of the amenities (such as electricity and internet) and spend my spare time writing. Hopefully publish many books someday, but honestly if I just have writing time consistently and a fairly comfortable life I’m good. If no one will publish me I’ll just publish them myself online somehow, why the fuck not.  

Tagging: If you guys want, I’ll tag @twiggy-mouse aaaand @milktomiilky but no pressure! And anyone else who sees it, feel free! 

#no idea what to tag this as #um #long post #?

[masterpieceavenue94]

Tueday, 20th March.

Okay, now everything is okay, I feel like my head is good. I mean I think that it still hurts a little bit but...anyway.

So...yeah, I was going to talk about last weekend. On Saturday at work I had to close with Valentina, Deimante and Ingrid. And well Valentila, lately, she’s been acting like she’s the best on everything and I don’t know it feel like she thinks she does everything perfect and that has everything under control but in reality...nope. Even Funda says that she doesn’t work right. Like, she’s been working at Lola&G for three years almost and she still doesn’t make a good vaffle mix. 

The thing is that on Friday Valentina said “omg we have to close tomorrow with the two new girls, omg it’s going to be a big deal, so much preassure, so many responsabilities...” and I was like “what the heck are you talking about?” Funda told me that she doesn’t get why she got so nervous because she’s not the one who has to supervise the closing, that she wasn’t the responsible of that. And then she said “you’re the one responsible” and I was like “wait, what?” Because I mean WHAT? Now I’m stressed. 

So on Saturday I was kinda calmed down, I just gotta follow every step to do a good closing and that’s it, and it was funny because Michael before he left he whispered to me “Someone told me you’ve got a big deal to do” and I answered whispering back “yeah, but don’t tell Valentina” I mean we were kinda joking because doing the closing it wasn’t that bad, and we were just kidding about Valentina not being the responsible, and the thing is that Valentina didn’t know about it and suddenly Funda shout out loud “REMEMBER THAT YOU’RE THE RESPONSIBLE FOR CLOSING!” to me and Michael and I were like “oh god”. You could feel that Valentina was pissed, she even said to me something about closing, like that I had a huge task to do and that she wanted to be done by 7pm. And I was like “excuse me?” I don’t know I feel like she wanted me to do all the stuff, but at the end of the day I didn’t do much, lmao. I was just saying for example to Ingrid to go to throw the trash, and Deimante closed by herself the dishwasher, and Valentina took the ice creams to the big freezer and took the cash register, I kinda just cleaned a few things and that’s it. I told Funda what Valentina said to me about me having a big task and she said that she was wrong, that the responsible one for closing just have to supervise and say to people what they had to do so I’m happy because that it was what I did so...

On Monday, Fanny came at 8am, and she just came to check how was the closing and even Michael and Klaudia were surprised to see her there at that time. I froze when they told me she was there and I was like “what did she said?” and they told me that she was so surprised because I did a good work and I was so relief! seriously I was like “thank God!” 

Also I got mad on Saturday at work, at Deimante, because there was one lasagne left and I said that I could take it home, and she kept it on a box and well, everybody thought she was just doing it for me, like you know “hey, you’re my friend so I’m going to keep this for you” but in reality she just hid the box and then took it for herself and I was like “what the fuck?” I told Klaudia on Monday and she was so shocked, I mean, we don’t do that, you have to respect things, you took other things and nobody stole it from you so...why do you have to do that? But I learnt the lesson, next time I will took the things that I want by myself.

And on Sunday, I met Sissel we went to have dinner at McDonald’s and then went to the cinema and watched Strangers prey at night. It was okay, we talked a lot, but I feel like Sissel’s sad. And kind of lost. I feel like she doesn’t know what to do. She asked me how was actually my life, like not just saying good, or something else. Like, she asked honestly. And I was like “my life’s great, of course I have bad days, of course I stressed but I don’t think that I need something more” which is true, I’m happy with what I have, I have my work, sometimes I have good days other not that good because of some customers but that’s life of a waitress; I go to university, I study and for other persons maybe that’s boring but believe me, after wanting for almost 4 year to go to university...you don’t even know how much I’m enjoying university, even though I have exams, essays, or whatever, I’m soo hapy with all of this.True is that I told Sissel that the only thing that is missing on my life is love life. You know, boyfriend. But even though sometimes I say that I should have someone there, I don’t actually want to have it. It’s weird. But hey, if someone has to come, just come (lol) but yeah, it’s just that, I feel like it’s not that really necessary...

And well on Friday I’m meeting Chrysanthi. Next week I’ll go to Bergen and I just can’t wait to see Nerea, I even made a list of things to do and places to go. And they’re a lot. 

#diary #dear diary

[crossed--fates]

Clive WTF you doing?

Starter for @clivedoveplblog​ because we both have no self-control aaskdjshsf 

It was very unusual of Yomiel to be outside so late at night.

Usually hw would be at home, practicing some coding, doing homework or reading one of his favorite sci-fi novels, but tonight he was just walking outside to take a bit of fresh air and see if this would help him clear his mind. 

It had been another terrible day, with the bullies picking on him when Sissel wasn’t around to defend him, his mother was drunk (again) and everything was going terribly wrong for some reason. 

And he couldn’t even tell the girl he loved what he really felt.

Why did he had to fall for his childhood friend? It was silly and he felt so stupid, but he couldn’t help it. Sissel was the only person in the world who understood him, knew his weaknesses and was always there to help him when he was feeling miserable. He was nothing without her.

But he was so afraid of telling her his feelings and end up ruining their friendship. Her friendship meant everything to him, even if it meant she’d never love him back, at least he wanted her as his friend. 

“Gods, what should I do? I can’t tell her how I feel, but it’s getting harder and harder to fight these feelings... I’m so afraid she’ll find out... I don’t wanna lose her friendship because of my stupidity... Damn...”

He looked at the sky to search for an answer, but as usual, there was none. He sighed and was about to leave when suddenly something caught his attention. Was it... Clive?

Yomiel followed him quietly, just watching his friend with mild curiosity. What the fuck was he doing outside so late? And trying to tresspass the school gates? What was he up to?

“Dude, what the fuck are you doin’? You crazy, man?” He whispered after he got close enough to his friend.

#IC: Young Programmer | Teen Yomiel #clivedoveplblog #V. A fateful encounter | Teenage verse #[akjhdsj I'm sorry this got lenghty]

[masterpieceavenue94]

What’s wrong with me?

Okay, here’s the thing. Yesterday I met Chrysanti and Sissel. Well in fact, I was going to meet just Chrysanthi and I was so excited because I haven’t seen her since February-Mars so... but when there was just 30 minutes left, Sissel called me and she was like “what you’re doing?” and obviously I couldn’t hide I was going out because she would know if Chrysanthi is always on snapchat taking photos and everything...so I told her that I was meeting Chrysanthi and that if she wanted she could just come with us. Of course she said yes. So...I mean I like Sissel, she’s a nice girl, sometimes she’s acts like a little girl but anyway...the thing is I prefer to meet just Chrysanthi alone. But anyway yesterday it was the tree of us. And what I hate and I can’t stand from Sissel is that she always need to eat something, and that means we have to go to a restaurant or something...Obviously we had to go to a restaurant but it was like too expensive and we ended up on Starbuck. And you know, Chrysanthi is like me in that aspect. She does the same like me. I eat before I meet people. I have lunch at home and then meet people, it’s a way to save money. I’m sorry but I cannot spend money all the time like Sissel. I don’t work. And well Chrysanthi works but she thinks the same.

But what’s wrong here? Nope, it’s not Sissel. Something that I don’t understand is everytime I meet Chrysanthi is the same, we say hi and suddenly she says something about Utsav, like “Utsav is on Tokyo!”, “Utsav blah blah blah” and I don’t get it. I mean she doesn’t know anything about Utsav and me, well at least I didn’t tell her anything, which is true is I shared what happened with him without saying it was him I was talking about. But yeah, every single time happens the same and sometimes it’s like that I should ask her why does she has to bring Utsav to the conversation, but you know in a cool way or something. Yesterday we all 3 talked about everything but of course Utsav was on the conversation. First I realized Utsav spends a lot of time with Chrysanthi and even though Chrysanthi says nothing is going on between them which is something that I totally believe. But yeah, Chrysanthi told me she meets him a lot and that supposedly he told him evertyhing about his life(?) like...we talked about Uma, this girl he (I think) had something with or had feelings for her and Chrysanthi was like “no, I know everything” but she is the kind of girl who you can tell a secret and she’ll never say nothing about that to anyone. But of course if someone tells her a secret she is not going to share the secret to me for example, which is fair. I mean that’s a good point. But you know when she said she “knew” everything I was almost about to aske her “how much is that everyhing?” I’m not gonna lie, I would love to know if he told her something about us, but obviously if I ask her knowing something or not she could kinda find out. Like, if she knows she won’t say anything. But if she doesn’t know anything, she will be asking me or even worse, Utsav. And I don’t want actually to tell her.

Sissel wasn’t helping either because she was even asking me about Utsav. She even said “but you and Utsav were really close”, “but you and Utsav were always together”, like she was the whole time trying to get information, more information than ever. And I was like “we were just good friends.” but my inner me was like “SHUT THE FUCK UP.”

Anyway, I think someday I will ask Chrysanthi about Utsav, like in a cool way like “no ofense but why do you always think about Utsav when I’m with you?” I mean, it feels like she has to give me information about him every time she sees me and I mean I don’t actually want to know about him but somethow, and I don’t know why, I end up listening to what she’s saying about him and remember everything. Like that he changed his job. 

And well what’s wrong too? Yesterday I couldn’t sleep it was 3am and I couldn’t sleep. Why? First of all I’m used to go to be around 2 am and of course today I had to woke up earlier and even though I tried to go to sleep earlier, I couldn’t. Second of all, I drank a frapuccino. At 6pm and maybe that didn’t help because you know...caffeine...no sleep...you get me right? And of course when I went to bed I just couldn’t stop thinking about Utsav. I even got mad. At him, at myself. 

I got mad at him because he is showing affect? Trusting Chrysanthi? Meeting her? Telling her everything? Call that jealousy, maybe is that. But what happens here is that he told me he doesn’t trust anyone, not even me when we were like “together” I mean, I didn’t do anything for him to not trust me. He just told me he can’t trust anyone (when he’s the one lying all the time, let me add) and I even thought of the idea of meeting him, alone. And ask him what the hell did he tell Chrysanthi. And how better is he getting because you know, he trusts more Chrysanthi that he did with me. Maybe he didn’t tell her anything about us, but even though...But I don’t think that I will meet him because I mean, I’m not going to be the one asking him out. 

And of course I got and still getting mad at myself because I was doing it so good. Not thinking about him. Not wanting him back. And these weeks...damn I cannot stop thinking about him. Seriously what’s wrong with me? I thought I was over him. I seriously need to meet new people, I need to meet new guys and I need to find someone that can make him leave.

The thing is that sometimes I look at his newest photos and he got uglier okay? And I even ask myself why do I even feel like this? I mean I don’t actually think that I want him back on my life as we used to be but I guess I want to be friends with him, I want to do what friends does. Meeting, laugh, talk. I don’t know...I think that’s why. 

#diary #dear diary