#sister and i rewatched a show with a sad ending

[celiastjamesoscar]

Wildest Dreams

Pairings: Sam Carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: you are helplessly head over heels for Sam, even though she despises you. But your relationship with her changes when you get in a lightly physical altercation with her.

Warnings: light sweating, reader accidentally walks in on Sam changing, small violence

My Masterlist

AN: if you have the time, I highly recommend reading ‘The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo’ and watching ‘Carol’ <3

Word count: 6.3K

For the first time in what seemed a millennium, you finally had the house to yourself. Anika was out with Mindy for a date, and your other roommate, Luke, was doing god knows what, probably out fornicating with one of his many boyfriends, but you didn’t care. You only cared about relaxing on the couch and rewatching your comfort show, Game of Thrones.

You grabbed your phone and a bowl of popcorn and went to the couch. You curled up with the blanket hanging over the back of the sofa as you turned on your show.

Tarantula: you up? ;)

The ‘ding’ from the text pulled you away from the tv, and you smiled when you read the text from your best friend, Tara. The two of you had met on campus in the library and instantly became friends. You two bonded over your love for books and shared a passion for horror movies, even though your opinions drastically differ.

Sam lover: maybe, it depends on who’s asking

Tarantula: you’re best friend in the entire world?? Who else?

Sam lover: mhmmm, okay. What are we doing?

Tarantula: movie night, obviously

Sam lover: sure, I’ll be over in ten

Tarantula: just a heads up, you’ll have to come in through my window

You raised your eyebrows at Tara’s message, ‘Why would I have to do that? I’ve been over before,’ you thought to yourself.

Sam lover: why?

Tarantula: because Sam is watching a movie in the living room, and we are hanging out in my room

Sam lover: fuck, okay. why does she still hate me?

Tarantula: I don’t know, but don’t make any noise when you come over. Sam can’t know and don’t try and hit on her if you see her

To say that you and Sam were acquaintances would be an understatement; Sam despised you, while the woman completely enchanted you. Sam was so tall and handsome as hell. She’s bad for you, but she does it so well; you could see the end as it begins. You admired her strength, both physically and mentally, and you loved the way she cared so much about her sister. And that was also your downfall; Sam believed that you were no good for Tara, as every time Tara did something stupid, you were always at the scene of the crime. Of course, Sam didn’t know that you were always there because you tried your best to stop Tara out of respect for Sam (and a shitty attempt at winning her heart), but she never listened when you tried to explain yourself.

You scoffed at your best friend’s words. She knew of your infatuation with Sam and loved to tease you about it. At first, however, she thought it was a bit weird as you were her best friend and thought you were using her to get close to Sam, but after she saw you turn down an invite to go with Sam and Mindy to the movies just to stay at home and play Mario Kart with her, she knew that you were the real deal.

Tara found it a bit sad, though, because every time you would talk to Sam, you would either get silence, a death stare, or a one-word reply, but she would rather die than tell you that she felt pity for your shitty attempts to talk to her sister.

Sam lover: I will not be held responsible for my actions when I am around a beautiful woman with big brown eyes

Tarantula: yeah, yeah, whatever. just get over here soon and climb in through my window; I’ll leave it open

Sam lover: sounds good. I’m omw

With that, you shut your phone off, grabbed your backpack and put a spare change of clothes along with a cable to charge your phone in it, and went towards Tara’s apartment. You enjoyed walking by yourself as it allowed you to be with your thoughts, and you couldn’t help it when you started to think of Sam. The gravitational pull you felt towards the older woman was something you couldn’t explain even if you had to; you just knew that you couldn’t deny the attraction you felt. You longed to get lost in those dark eyes and don’t even get started on those muscular arms; to you, Sam was perfect, and you would count all the stars in the sky if you could call her yours for a moment.

When you reached the street Tara lived on, you sent Tara a quick message asking her which side her window would be on, and she responded with ‘the one that’s close to creepy ass alley,’ which was all of New York in your eyes.

Sam lover: that’s all of NY, Tarantula

Tarantula: It’s across from the McDonald’s, five stories up. And stop calling me ‘Tarantula.’ It’s offensive.

You laughed at your friend’s reply before sending back a quick ‘huh uh.’ You walked around the apartment until you saw the McDonald’s and then the creepy ass alleyway and looked up five stories. And true to her word, Tara had her window open for you. You climbed onto the fire escape and slowly made your way to Tara’s window before sending her a quick text telling her you were here, only you didn’t see the message she sent back telling you you weren’t at her window.

When you pushed Tara’s window the rest of the way and climbed halfway in, you nearly died; Sam was standing in a towel with her back facing you as she grabbed some clothes from her dresser. When she dropped her towel, your heart exploded, and it felt like you were in your wildest dream. You admired her perfect curves, and then the leg that you had in Sam’s room gave out, causing you to fall into Sam’s room with a loud thud.

Sam turned around with a shocked expression before she quickly turned back to her dresser and grabbed a knife. You could not seem to pry your eyes away from Sam’s chest, and you swore you could feel drool fall down your chin. You were too busy trying to engrave Sam’s naked figure into your brain that you didn’t feel the blade fly into your left thigh.

“Sam, I am so sorry,” you said as you tried to stand up on your legs, but one gave out and screamed in pain. The only thing on your mind was Sam’s breasts that you swore looked like the softest pillows ever.

“What the fuck is going-Oh my god! What happened to your leg?” Tara exclaimed after bursting into the room, disregarding her sister, who finally covered herself with a towel. At the mention of something wrong with your leg, you finally felt the sharp pain shoot through your entire leg as you stared at the blade in your thigh.

“You’re weird friend just broke into my room and stared at me while I was changing!” Sam stated as she grabbed her clothes and stormed off to the bathroom, clearly not caring about your wound. Tara quickly ran to your side and knelt beside you, “I am so sorry about this, Y/N. I didn’t know that she also had her window open.”

You shrugged off Tara’s comment as you tried to move, but the pain was too much. You watched as your crimson-red blood steeped onto the room’s flooring and stained your clothing. “Come on, we have to get you to a hospital,” Tara stated, pulling you up to the floor and leaning your weight onto her. By the time Tara had entered the living room and to the door, Sam was dressed and had her phone and keys in hand. “I’ll take you to the hospital; let’s go,” Sam stated as she moved Tara off you and took her place. It was pitiful how your face heated up when you felt Sam pull your left arm over her shoulders and hold it while her right arm was wrapped around your waist, allowing you to lean your weight onto her.

When you reached Sam’s car, Tara opened up the back row door and helped Sam lay you down on the seats before she got into the passenger door. “Do not die in my car, Y/N. I don’t need you to haunt my car,” Sam dryly stated as she closed the door and got in the driver’s side. You don’t remember much of the car ride to the hospital; the only thing on your mind was seeing Sam naked, and no matter how hard you tried, you would never be about to erase that beautiful image from your mind.

One moment you were daydreaming about the beautiful goddess that had just stabbed you, and then the next, you were in a hospital bed with stitches in your thigh. For the life of you, you couldn’t recall what had happened, just that you saw Sam naked, and then she stabbed you. You saw yourself, in hindsight, tangled up with her all night in your wildest dreams. Someday when your mind leaves you, you bet that the memory of Sam will follow you around.

“Oh, thank god, I thought I was going to have to murder Sam,” Tara said as she moved from the chair in the corner of the room and approached your bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and gently grabbed your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “What happened? The last thing I remember was being in the back of Sam’s car,” you recalled as you looked around the room and saw Sam, who was standing creepily in the doorway with her arms crossed.

“You passed out on the drive here. You should have seen Sam, though; she was terrified you had actually died,” Tara said with a small laugh as she remembered her sister’s frantic attempts to make sure you were still alive, and she also wanted to let you know that Sam slightly cared about you.

Sam scoffed at her sister’s words as she uncrossed her arms and walked toward you. “I was worried you were going to ruin my seats and then haunt my car,” Sam stated coldly, but her eyes betrayed her icy stature. You could see the way her eyes darted across your body, subtly checking to see if you were actually okay, and how she had her hands shoved into the pockets on her bomber jacket, slightly ashamed that she had hurt you.

Within the first encounters you had with Sam, you noticed how she always hid her hands when she was ashamed of something, and right now, all you wanted to do was reach out and comfort the woman. “Eh, I’m fine,” you shrugged briefly.

You talked to Tara while Sam stood around the room, looking out of place as she watched you with her sister. When the doctor came in, she gave you painkillers and told you could leave in the morning. “Could one of us stay here with her?” Sam asked the doctor worriedly when she was close to the door. “The hospital rules say we can’t allow non-family members to stay overnight, but I’ll let you stay with your girlfriend,” the doctor replied with a smile as she looked between you and Sam, clearly reading into some tension in the air.

Sam didn’t even have time to deny the doctor’s words before she left the room and shut the door, so Sam turned around with a scoff and was met with your drugged-out smile and Tara’s knowing one. “Well, Sammy, I will leave you here with your ‘girlfriend,’” Tara joked as she stood from the bed and grabbed her things.

“No. Tara, there is no way you are leaving here this late at night,” Sam replied as she followed her sister to the doorway. “Well, I’m certainly not staying here; I hate hospitals. And besides, Mindy is here to pick me up,” Tara replied with a smile.

She hated to admit it, but Sam was at a crossroads. She didn’t want Tara to stay here after the last time her sister was left alone in a hospital, and she also didn’t want you to stay here alone. She worried about you for Tara’s sake and definitely not because she felt terrible for being the reason you were here.

With a defeated sigh, Sam nodded and spoke, “Alright. Just let me walk you out.”

You watched the two sisters open the door and smiled when Sam stopped and looked back at you, “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.”

“Okay, girlfriend,” you replied with a dopey smile, clearly enjoying the effects of the painkillers.

When Sam returned, she said nothing as she brought two chairs together and made herself an awkward bed. “You know, you can join me,” you suggested as you scooted over to the side, allowing Sam some room if she chose to sleep with you.

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” Sam replied as she got out a blanket and a pillow from the wardrobe and got comfortable on the chairs.

“Why not? I’ve already seen you naked.”

Sam rolled her eyes and laid her head on the pillow, and covered up with the blanket, “Do not mention that ever again.”

“Okay. I want to let you know you have a beautiful body, Sam. Your boobs are perfect! I mean, my god, the things I would do-”

“Please stop talking,” Sam interrupted you as she tried her best to fight off the fluttering feeling in her stomach at your words. She knew the painkillers were talking, but she couldn’t help but believe there was some truth to your comments. “Goodnight, Y/N,” Sam said after a few awkward moments of silence.

“Goodnight, girlfriend,” you teased as you got as comfortable as you could you a hospital bed before sleep consumed you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the morning, you were discharged from the hospital but had to walk around with crutches for a while. And to put it short, you hated it. Yes, having to walk around with them constantly clanking every time you walked got annoying, and how your armpits ached at the end of each day. But the worst part was that you couldn’t impress Sam with them.

Naturally, you were angry at Sam for throwing a knife in your leg, but you also shouldn’t have been staring at her while she was changing.

“Who even changes with their window open anyways?” Mindy asked one night while over at Tara’s apartment for dinner. You and Mindy had been invited over for a girl dinner with the Carpenters as you four sat around the dining table. The table had a dish of lasagna along with a salad bowl prepared, and you could not wait to eat the delicious food Sam had prepared.

“My room was hot, and I was letting in fresh air; I didn’t think someone would try and break in,” Sam stated as she made herself a bowl of salad with her lasagna.

“I did not break in. Tara invited me over and told me to go through her open window,” you said once you finished a bite of your food, “so technically, it’s her fault.”

Tara scoffed at your words while throwing a crouton at you, earning herself a scolding look from Sam. “Do not try and blame this on me; I texted you and told you that wasn’t my room, but you didn’t see it,” Tara replied.

“Why did you even tell her to climb through your window?” Sam asked with a puzzled look.

“Because, Sam, you would have told her to leave or probably stabbed her, but you already did that,” Tara dryly said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sam rolled her eyes at her sister's statement before focusing on her food.

“I was lightly stabbed, so it’s not that big of a deal,” you said.

“You were still stabbed, Y/N,” Tara replied annoyedly. She knew that you were weirdly happy about Sam stabbing you, but she tried her best to ignore it.

“Lightly stabbed.”

Mindy chuckled while looking at you, “Whatever. I still can’t believe she threw a knife at you; me personally, I would not let that slide.”

“It’s whatever; I didn’t even notice it until Tara came barging into the room,” you said while looking at Sam, who picked her food with her fork and refused to meet your gaze.

Mindy just laughed at your response before returning her attention to her food. The rest of dinner was filled with laughs and idle conversations, but you couldn’t help but notice how Sam didn’t participate in any of the conversations. You had tried to get her engaged, but she would either respond with a nod, a laugh, or a single word.

Sam felt bad for reacting the way she did, and she wanted to apologize to you, but she didn’t know how without bringing up the fact you slightly deserved it. So, when dinner was finished, and the rest of the group moved into the living room to watch a movie, Sam pulled you aside.

“What’s up?” You asked with a smile as you leaned on a crutch. It had been a couple of weeks since you were discharged from the hospital, so now you only walked around with one crutch.

That smile you gave her, Sam couldn’t find the correct words to describe it. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and she wanted to kiss it off your lips. “Just so you know, you’re insufferable and intolerable. And I hate you.”

“Oh, okay,” you said with that same smile, fully knowing Sam was lying. Sam, on the other hand, desperately needed to get away from you, or she might do something she would regret. “Is there anything else you need?” You asked.

With a sigh, Sam asked, “Yes, actually. What are some books I could read? I’ve been trying to get into reading because of Tara, and I wanted to discuss them with her, and I need to have a few books under my belt before I do that.”

Your smile grew ten times bigger at Sam’s question, and the older woman wanted to murder you for it. “I have been waiting for ages for you to ask me that. I actually have a copy of my favorite book with me if you want to give it a try?” You asked as you made your way over to your backpack.

Sam followed behind you and watched as you moved around your sleeping clothes and pulled out a weathered book. It had different colored sticky notes hanging from the pages, and the edges around the book looked like they had their share of bumps and drops.

Sam grabbed the book and read the cover with a scoff. “Look, Y/N; I’m not reading a book about a woman who had seven different husbands. That’s just absurd,” the Latina said with a dry tone.

“No,” you replied as you placed your hand on Sam’s wrist, holding the book, “trust me, Sam. Just try it; it’s not what you think it is.”

“Alright, fine. If this book is better than it sounds,” Sam said as she looked around the room with a huff, “I guess I’ll treat you with respect or something.”

Sam didn’t even have time to react before she felt the hand on her wrist pull away and pinch her cheek. “I know you’ll love it,” you said with a cheeky grin as Sam slapped your hand away from her face. “Do not ever do that again,” she warned as she pointed a finger in your face.

“Yes, ma’am,” you responded with a salute before walking back toward the living room, “is there anything else you need?”

‘I want to take you on a date and then put your head on a stick,’ Sam wanted to say but said, “I’ll let you know what I think of it.”

You gave Sam a soft smile as you returned to the living room. Sam didn’t know what she was feeling toward you, but she eventually sauntered off to her room after realizing she cared about you more than friends do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on, Tara; The Babadook is easily one of the worst horror movies ever made!” You exclaimed with your hands as you stared down at the more petite girl. You had finally gotten your stitches out and were no longer walking around with a crutch, so that meant a celebration night over at the Carpenter’s apartment.

“No, it’s not! You just hate it so much because it scares you!” Tara retorted as she hit the leg closest to her, which happened to be the one Sam lightly stabbed.

You moved your legs up onto the loveseat you were sitting on after she hit you, “Yeah, and also because it scares me so much! And don’t hit me, you little shit.” Tara scoffed at your words and stood up and grabbed one of her shoes, and was getting ready to launch it at you when the door to the apartment opened. She quickly dropped the shoe and stood facing the door with her hands clasped behind her back and an innocent smile, as if she wasn’t just getting ready to throw a shoe as hard as she could at your face. “What’s going on?” Sam asked when she saw Tara standing with a creepy smile and your shocked expression.

“Tara was-”

“I was getting up to order some pizza!” Tara interrupted you and sent you a death glare when Sam turned her back to hang up her purse. Sam turned around and looked between you two and ignored the shoe she saw by Tara’s feet; whatever her sister was getting ready to do to you, you probably deserved it.

“Okay,” Sam replied as she exaggerated the word before walking to her room, but not before sending you a glare. “Nice to see you, Sam!” you said with a smile while Sam huffed before slamming her door. “You are such a charmer,” Tara joked as she shoved your legs off the couch so she could sit next to you.

You scoffed at Tara’s words while you reached for the remote and pushed Tara off you when she tried to take it from you. “No! Down girl, down!” You said when you finally pushed Tara off of you. She scoffed as you turned on the tv before leaning back on the couch and putting her feet in your lap. You pulled her feet more into your lap and let your hand rest on her leg while you looked for something to watch. Naturally, Tara made it hard for you to pick something out because she refused to watch anything you wanted to spite you, but eventually, you settled on watching ‘Carol.’ You loved this movie more than anything, even though you cried every time you watched it.

For some unknown reason, Tara pulled her feet from your lap and left the couch roughly ten minutes into the movie. “I’ll be right back,” she said as she walked toward her room with her phone in hand. “Do you want me to pause it for you?” You asked as you reached for the remote but stopped when Tara told you not to wait up on her. You missed the devilish smirk she wore on her lips as she disappeared into her room.

You continued to watch the movie by yourself when you heard a door open up. “Finally! I was starting to think that you were leaving me here to hang out with Sam,” you said with a smile as you paused the movie and finally turned around to face Tara, but your smile faded once you saw Sam. “Oh, I’m sorry; I thought you were Tara,” you said with an embarrassed tone as your eyes refused to meet Sam’s piercing gaze.

The older woman huffed at your words before she went to the couch and sat at the opposite end while unlocking her phone, trying to keep as much space as possible between you two. “Tara texted me and told me that she felt sick and she didn’t want you to leave because it’s late at night and doesn’t want anything to happen to you, so she wants me to keep you company,” Sam read aloud her text messages between her and Tara before she closed her phone and set it on the coffee table in front of you guys.

“You don’t have to; I’m fine staying in here by myself,” you said with a polite smile while looking at Sam. The woman turned her head and looked at you before giving you the fakest smile you have ever seen while she lied through her teeth, “That’s alright, I’m good to stay in here with you.” The tension was so thick you could practically taste it on your tongue, but you held your breath and muttered a quiet ‘okay’ as you restarted the movie.

It’s not that she hated being around you after the incident; the only thing she wanted to do was kiss you and call you hers, but she was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same. Especially after she lightly stabbed you.

“Wait, why are you restarting it?” Sam questioned as she looked between you and the tv.

“Because you missed the opening scene, which is arguably one of the best scenes in the movie, and you also need to watch it to understand the ending better,” you reasoned with an honest smile while your gentle eyes danced across Sam’s face.

She didn’t know why, but after listening to your explanation of why the opening scene was essential and listening to your voice that was full of only love and admiration for this movie, Sam decided that she would actually pay attention to it, rather than send you hateful glances every once in a while.

So when the tv finally stopped the introduction, and it was Carol and Therese sitting together at a dinner table in a fancy restaurant, Sam picked up on the tension-riddled scene and couldn’t help but glance over at you. She noticed how your eyebrows furrowed, and your eyes danced between Carol and Therese as if you were getting ready to jump through the tv and become a part of the movie. Her eyes finally drifted down to your lips, and she noticed how your tongue was barely sticking out between your lips as you studied the screen, as if there was going to be something small in the background, and if you blinked, you would miss it.

“Are you even watching?” You questioned when you felt eyes burning into the side of your skull, but your own eyes never left the screen.

Sam awkwardly cleared her throat before speaking, “Sorry; you just seem really invested in this movie, and I thought it was funny.” You felt heat creep up the back of your neck at Sam’s words but shook it off as her being cautious of you. “It’s a great film, Sam. I think you’ll like it,” you replied with a gentle smile as you pried your eyes away from the screen to look at Sam before returning your attention to the tv.

When you said that she might like it, Sam took her eyes away from you and actually paid attention to the movie. When the sex scene came up, the air in the room became tense, as if both of you were holding your breath and holding back from one another. Sam tried her best to fight back the blush she felt, and she looked to you for help. You had your mouth agape, no matter how often you watched this scene, you were always enchanted by it, and you whispered, “I wish that were me.” Even though she tried to, Sam couldn’t come up with a retort for your comment; she also wishes she could do that with Cate Blanchett, but she also wishes that was her with you.

Sam then turned her attention back to the screen and had to fight any urges that she might have been feeling toward you. Her eyes never left the screen until the very end; only when she had to blink back the eyes that threatened to escape as she looked up at the ceiling. When the end credits rolled, you cleared your throat, tension still left over from the sex scene, “So, what did you think of it?”

“It was certainly something. It was a lot better than I expected, just based on your taste in things,” Sam joked as she subtly wiped the tears away in her eyes. You chuckled at her words, ‘if you only you knew,’ you thought as she stared at her with hearty eyes.

You quickly snapped out of your daze when you noticed Sam shuffling uncomfortably on the couch, “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it. And just so you know,” you said as you stood up from the couch, “I have an exceptional taste in things.”

Sam laughed at your words before standing up, “I highly doubt that.” You smiled at the older woman before making your way to Tara’s room; you had plans to murder the little shit for leaving you alone with Sam. “Goodnight, Sam,” you said with a smile as you opened Tara’s door slightly. Sam gave you a genuine smile as she went to her room, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

This was the first time you had had a direct conversation with Sam since she pulled you aside and asked for a book recommendation, and you wished you could have more conversations with the woman. She was smarter than she gave herself credit for, and the way she expressed herself through body language while talking was something you found attractive, to put it lightly.

When you entered Tara’s room, you saw the girl lying toward the foot of her bed with her laptop open, and you could faintly hear Toni Collette giving her ‘I am your mother’ speech. “So, how did it go with Samantha?” Tara questioned with a smug grin as you sat on the bed with your back propped against the headboard. You threw your legs up onto the bed and dug the heel of your right foot into Tara’s back, causing the girl to let out a small yelp before shoving your leg off of her and scolding you.

“Whatever, you deserved it,” you said as you crossed your ankles and left them next to Tara, who was still facing the foot of the bed. “And for your information, it was fine. She didn’t try and kill me again,” you joked.

“A win is a win,” Tara replied as she moved to sit next to you and put the laptop on your lap while she cuddled up next to you. You put your arm around her waist and placed a platonic kiss on her head right when Sam walked in.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can come back later,” Sam said as she looked down at the floor and turned her back to you two, embarrassed that she had just walked in on an intimate moment between you and her sister and ignored the pain she felt in her heart. “No, it’s okay, Sam,” Tara said while pulling away from you and silently encouraging you to go after Sam even though she was still in the doorway.

“I thought you were sick?” Sam asked with her back still facing you two. “Yeah, I can’t explain that one without unveiling my grand scheme of things plan,” Tara said while getting up from her bed and turning Sam to face her, “I’m serious, Sam. Nothing is going on between me and Y/N.”

Sam looked away from her sister and saw you sitting on Tara’s bed, smiling as you sent her a small wave. The woman scoffed at your actions before returning to her room.

Once Sam was gone, Tara closed the door, walked over to you, and hit you in the stomach. “The fuck was that, Y/N?” She whisper-shouted at you, “I basically admitted to having a plan of forcing you and Sam together, and you fucking wave at her?”

“I didn’t know what you wanted me to do!” You defended.

Tara sighed at your statement; she had laid the groundwork, and then just like clockwork, the dominos were supposed to cascade in a line because she’s a mastermind, but your dumbass messed it up. “Go talk to Sam. Right. Now. Or so help me God, I will violently murder you to death,” Tara commanded as she pulled you from her bed and pushed you toward the door. “And do not come back until you have talked to her,” and with that, Tara shut the door in your face and locked it.

You sighed before walking toward the living room. You thought about sleeping on the couch, but you knew Tara would probably draw a penis on your face while you slept, so you sucked in a deep breath before walking toward Sam’s door.

Sam heard a gentle knock of three intervals at her door, pulling her away from her note. “Just a minute,” she said as she finished her writing and slipped it into a preselected page in the book.

“What’s up?” She asked once when she opened her door and saw you.

“I just wanted to ask you about the book,” you replied with a smile that Sam wanted to kiss off your lips.

Instead of doing what she desired, she left her door open while grabbing the book and handed it back to you. “This is the saddest book I have ever read. Who would come up with such a thing?”

You chuckled at her words and accepted the book, “I know. I take it; you finished it?”

“Barely. But I finished it in one sitting,” Sam said while staring into your love-struck eyes. Sam swore she could feel herself getting lost in them, and she never wanted to leave your eyes.

“So, what did you think of it?” You asked.

“It was alright. Some pages were hard to read because of the tear-stained pages.”

You lightly laughed at Sam’s words, and the older woman felt her heart might explode if she heard that soft laugh again. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. This book really gets to me, you know?” You said while your eyes quickly glanced down at Sam’s lips, wondering if they tasted as good as they looked.

Sam cleared her throat, and you knew you had been busted. “So, I guess I’ll have to treat you with respect now,” she admitted through a tightened jaw.

“Or whatever,” you said with a smile, hoping Sam picked up the double meaning, and she did.

“Yeah, or whatever.”

“Just so you know, nothing is going on between me and Tara,” you clarified after a few seconds, and you set the book down on the couch behind you.

Sam knew that there wasn’t anything between you and her sister, but hearing those words leave your lips gave Sam a feeling of comfort she didn’t know she needed. “I know, Y/N.”

“Okay. I just wanted to clarify that before I did this,” Sam didn’t even have time to react before she felt your hands grip her neck and pull her into a passionate kiss. The way your lips felt like they had been made for her lips amazed Sam, and she finally felt her heart explode when she matched your intensity.

Your lips danced together as Sam deepened the kiss and pulled you by your waist closer to her. You felt her tongue push past your lips, and an involuntary moan slipped out, causing Sam to laugh against your lips. When you felt Sam’s hands drift toward the bottom of your shirt, you lifted your arms, and Sam got halfway into taking it off before you two heard a voice behind you, “Goddamnit, Y/N! I told you to apologize, not swap spit with her!”

You pulled away from Sam and turned to face Tara, who smiled knowingly. “Sorry,” you mumbled while fixing your shirt.

An awkward beat of silence passed while Tara looked between you and her sister with a sly smirk on her lips before she finally said, “I’ll leave you two to it,” and walked away.

“I’m sorry about that,” Sam said once Tara was gone. You turned to look at Sam, and you smiled at her swollen lips and blown pupils. You said nothing as you placed a final kiss on Sam’s lips that the older woman happily reciprocated.

“I should probably leave,” you mumbled against Sam’s lips, and she kissed you once more before pulling away. “Don’t forget your book,” Sam said while grabbing it for you.

“Thank you,” you replied with a tint of blush on your cheeks. Sam walked you to the door with her hand on the lower of your back, and you only wanted to run back into her room and throw Sam on her bed, but you doubted Tara would appreciate that.

When you reached the door, you placed a chaste kiss on Sam’s lips before opening up the door. “I’ll see you around?” You asked, afraid that this was a one-time thing.

Sam leaned against the doorframe, and she couldn’t contain the smile that pulled at her cheeks. “Of course, Y/N.”

You smiled at her and began walking down the hallway when Sam called out, “It's me and you, true blue.”

You placed a kiss on your pointer and middle finger before holding them toward Sam with a smile on your face. The woman laughed at your action and pretended to catch the fake kiss and her fist to her heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At home, you fall onto your couch and struggled to get your shoes off. Once they were off, you relaxed and pulled out the book and started reading it. When you ran your fingers over the pages, a small note fell out from the middle of the book and you moved to that page.

In the center of the page was a headline from Sub Rosa titled, ‘Evelyn Hugo and Celia St. James Slumber Parties,’ and you couldn’t help but laugh at the page.

When you opened up the note, written in the most beautiful penmanship said,

‘Want to go grab a milkshake with me sometime? I doubt we’ll find a place as good as Schwab’s, but we can try. We can also have ‘slumber parties’ of our own when Tara is away. ;)

All my love,

Samantha

Sam’

#sam carpenter #scream #melissa barrera #sam carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #sam carpenter x y/n #sam carpenter x female reader

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.4

It's in the paper that Allen Klein was involved in 40+ lawsuits and John doesn't question it? At this point, I feel like he just didn't want to let Paul be right about anything. 

My question is who did that work on before? I mean who fucking does business like that? Let alone business with the most successful man in the world. 

John's complaining about Paul being too good at his job is both hilarious (what the hell is Paul supposed to do with that) and sad (it shows just how far their musical relationship has degraded from partners to rivals)

How did they lose Northern Songs? Genuinely, if anyone can break it down for me I'd be so grateful. Anyway I'm sure it was devastating for both of them. “Who'd have the children?” “Dick James”. 

I know I'm insane, but can I be allowed to see a glimmer of goodness here? I really do think it's John's kinder side winning out when he decides not to lie. Like, yes, he gets a buzz off of watching Paul go white at his words, but I think he also just – in that moment – didn't have the heart to trick Paul into staying. 

But also. Why are we trying to maneuver Paul at all if the end game is for John to leave? It just doesn't make sense to try to trick Paul into signing the contract unless John's divorce threat is at the very least not meant to be final. 

I will never understand this picture. Even in the emotional state he's in, he's still hamming it up? There is something seriously wrong with this man. 

I do find it interesting that the fact that Paul cried his eyes out after that meeting isn't even mentioned in the doc. I wonder why. 

Let's put the bizarre, super-warped timeline in this quote aside for a minute. Apparently the depression started after Brian died and it lasted for about two years and John was still in it during Pepper. Okay. That aside . . .

I have to assume this negative lense on what I can only assume means the period between 66 and 68 is highly influenced by hindsight bias. I agree that John was depressed at the time, in an unhappy marriage, doing too much LSD, etc and that looking at Paul's prolific talent and expansive , fast-paced life would have been maddening. But everyone go back to the end of part one really quick. He looks extremely happy. He sounds extremely happy. Everyone who knows him says he's never been happier. I think he just can't accept right now that there was so much good and he's lost it. 

“I look from the wings at the play you are staging . . . I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love.”

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Paul explaining why the Beatles just had to break up, obviously, because he and John "didn't marry the same girl." Someone write the fic where John and Paul both marry the same girl. Could be Yoko or Linda. Sister trad wives au. 

Okay, cool, so this means I have full permission to interpret and tin hat about any lyrics I want then, right?

But also. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Paul dumped a bucket of garbage water and punched this person? And are we not mentioning the depression and alcoholism and heroin abuse during this time?

It's so embarrassing how he looks to her for confirmation here. John, they asked you what you think. Just you. Not some complicated definition. Not Yoko's definition. Just your own thoughts.

“I couldn't wait for them to make up their mind about peace or whatever. About committing themselves.” Yeah, John. You sound real committed to peace. Or whatever. Here's a theory that anyone can shoot down if they want: John asked Paul for some kind of commitment (a friendship wedding, a partnership contract, a mutual wanking pledge) in India and Paul was a chicken about it. 

What was that day like, I wonder? I imagine extremely stiff and professional and horrid. But who knows. Maybe it was nice, and maybe that made everything worse.

I will go to my death believing that instant karma was for Paul. 

Do we think John actually did send Paul “about twenty postcards from Denmark” all covered in hearts none of which Paul responded to? Paul could be just as cruel in his lack of reaction as John was in his over reaction.

I'm sorry but that is not what a man says when he's just lying to the press to buy time for business. That's what a man says to the press when he's trying desperately to communicate with someone who he can't get through to any other way. 

But really, I just don't understand why the creator chose to minimize Paul's emotional response to John's divorce statement. If we don't see him bawling his eyes out and losing the will to live, he comes off like a self-assured, uncaring, jerk. Which. To be fair. John didn't see those things, and that is exactly what John thought of Paul during this time. But still. The audience now comes away from this doc with a skewed view. 

All we get is Paul being pissed off about Phil Spector butchering Let it Be without his consent and John and George trying to change McCartney's release date without his consent. Which are both a) understandable and b) strong, male, angry reactions. Making this section portray Paul in the same one-dimensional hyper-masculine way that John so often is. Which isn't my favorite. But hey, it's my only complaint about this doc so far.

Anyway, update: I won't be able to do part three until it gets reuploaded, so we're on hiatus for this project for the time being.

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

[astriddestelle]

Lol so here’s another unpopular opinion about a ten year old show no one care about.

First of all the show hasn’t aged well but it’s still fun. But omg Sam Manson is like the worst.

It’s so sad because I remember being obsessed with her she was like my fave but now I can’t stand her.

Her whole thing is just look how different I am. I’m not like the other girls. Which I get is a product of its time but wow.

She always brings up how unique and different she is and omg I get it already. You don’t wear makeup congrats, let other girls live their lives how they want.

Maybe it’s cause I’m not like ten anymore but idk I don’t like her like that anymore 😭 I thought she was so cool but she almost had Mary Sue vibes with how awesome/cool/perfect she is in some episodes and how she’s almost always right.

He should’ve ended up with Valerie they would’ve been a cute couple (once she got over her beef 🤣)

Not to mention she’s a hypocrite and always tells Danny not to use his powers for his own gains, but when it’s for her own gains it’s cool. Spies on him but gets mad when he spies on her.

Then it felt like she only liked Danny cause he had powers and it made him unique like what (obviously not true but it felt like it at times)

She’d also bag on other girls just living their lives. Yes Paulina was a bitch but sometimes she’d just be existing and Sam would have some shit to say.

Oh and being rude af and jealous of Jazz when she joined the team his own sister. Idk bout y’all if my friend treated my siblings the way she did it’d be a problem.

Ugh. The problems of getting older. I’ve found myself tolerating the snarky/rude character less and less as I’ve gotten older.

Like why are you so rude for no reason.

Grayghost will always be superior to Amethyst Ocean in my eyes.

Not trying to debate so if you wanna reblog and talk to yourself go ahead. Idc

This is just a random ass mini rant after rewatching an old cartoon that I’ll prob forget about it in like a day.

Sidenote; I love Jazz now, hated her as a kid. Funny how things change.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #sam manson #Sam Manson is annoying #gray ghost #amethyst ocean #valerie gray #Danny/Valerie #danny x sam #danny x valerie

[futurewriter2000]

Needing You

A/N: I'm going to pull so much of personal experience from this that even I might cry at the end but I don't cry so I let's see how far I have healed. Not even gonna lie, this was harder to write than I thought. - It deleted itself in the middle of it so I had to REWRITE IT- but it turned out better than the first time.

REQUEST 15: "Optional("hey! I love your writing, so here's a request: could you do a shot about Remus X fem Slytherin who's James sister and they both have a secret relationship, and when he (James) finds out, Remus and the reader have a really strong fight when he says something like "he's my best friend, you're only an experience" (be free to change this) and they both broke up, and the reader doesn't even talk to james but rather just... isolates herself. nended however you like but IM BEGGING make it like really sad =)nHave a fantastic day! &lt;;3.")" #wattpad

XX

The sky was clear as day. It was the night and you had decided to finally swallow your anxiety and go out with your brother's friend. Your brother didn't mind. He just expected it to be a herbal gathering mission with his sister, when Remus told him about it. He didn't know the two of you were walking around the lake for three hours, holding hands because you almost slipped. Wishing you had planned that slip but you haven't. You put sneakers on in the winter- you haven't thought much with your head when it came to Remus. You just wanted to be next to him... and you were.

Your anxiety was piling up but you couldn't stop smiling. He was shaking, since he was only in a thin black T-shirt and a fancy coat that did not provide much warmth. You marveled at the stars and he pulled you close, showing you all the constallation you knew. You haven't been watching the stars. All the time, you kept thinking about kissing him- having your first kiss with your brother's friend, on whom you had a small crush when your brother was small. You completely forgot about Remus until a few weeks ago when you started to spend more time with your brother, as well as his friends.

The kiss happened on the bench. The lake was in front of you, the stars above and he simply leaned in, finally providing some warmth on his body.

This film has been replaying in your head for the past seven months. Every day, you rewatched it in your head, it seemed to be more magical. Every day when you saw him, touched him, kissing him- you fell in love deeper.

It was as if you were going insane just by loving him. You wanted him by your side all the time. It wasn't as if it wasn't difficult, seeing his friends forcing other girls on him when the two of you were sneaking around, knowing each other's bodies pretty well. You knew every scar, every mole, every inch of his body. You believed he knew yours as well.

Remus was a nerd. He pretended to be cool and collected but he just spent 20 minutes explaining medical propreties of three kind of herbs and how other wizards- Healers even can mix them up.

"What?" he said, quirking an eyebrow as you stayed quiet, smiling at him.

"What what?" you smiled brightly, your eyes glimmering with pure joy.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

"Like what?" you fixed your facial expression, hiding away the emotional depth you felt for this boy.

He stared at you for a moment and moved away from you. "Nothing." he said, starting to get dressed.

There it was. That awful feeling. That feeling of not knowing what he feels.

It always came to this. The two of you could talk forever into the night or into sex but never could the two of you talk about your feelings. You wanted to tell him. You did. You wanted to tell him that you were deeply obsessed with him. That you adored every single thing about his character and body- but there was a restrain. There was the familiar lump in your throat that blocked you from speaking any further.

He always had excuses. He was not good enough for you. He can't ruin his friendship with James... he's not looking for anything exclusive at the moment.

You moved to your pile of clothes and started to put on your underwear. I swear, your razor has never been so used in your entire life than in the past few months. You smiled at that and clicked your bra on.

He didn't even notice that your undergarments were matching. Something you felt as if your effort was for nothing, but you felt good when you did things like that. For him. To please him- do it for him... because you loved him.

"Hey..." he was by your side and you got startled a bit from your train of thoughts.

His eyes were lustful and his hands were possessive of your body. You smiled and wrapped your hands around his neck. "Hi." you said as his hand grabbed the hem of your underwear and let it go into a snap on your hip.

"This is really nice." he smiled, watching your breasts in your perky red bra.

"You like?"

"Haven't got a clear view before... but now that I do..." he said and tightened his grip around your waist. "You smell so good..." he continued, but this time it felt more as a growl than a whisper and he purged your lips with his.

It felt as if two universes were collapsing. That's how it felt, kissing the forbidden fruit for him and for you. Even though James presented a small obstacle in the way of your relationship, the whole secrecy seemed to be more exciting, causing more passionate interactions between the two of you the more you two continued this.

He backed you agains the bed... again but you laughed, pushing him away but holding onto his shirt collar. "We have to go, you know that."

He wailed like a small puppy. "I don't want to."

You pulled him into a kiss, just as passionate, just as strong and so hard to let go of it. "I-" you tried but he deepened it in that moment, causing you to heat up and back up on the bed as he crawled over you.

He raised himself up and tool a long look at you, just laying there as your foot found its way to his chest. He took a gentle hold of it and moved it onto his shoulder. "You're so beautiful."

And that was it. Small words, small gestures- you went for it all. Your love couldn't consume him all. It always wanted more.

These moments, your soul didn't care. It was happy, you were happy and you were glowing. Only your roommate was the one who knew about your secret and she didn't agree much with it. She said he didn't treat you as he should.

But you were happy and that was all that mattered.

"I love seeing you this happy but I'm so afraid that you'll get hurt." your roommate said as she made her way to your bed.

"He wouldn't hurt me. He said he would never hurt me."

"I don't know, (y/n)..." she continued but you only laughed and smiled. Something in your heart was so full of love that you couldn't keep it in. Even James thought there was something wrong when you hugged him more than you usually did.

He suspected something was going on with you but he had no clue what.

Or that's how you thought.

Remus came into the room and just as he closed the door, somebody pushed him against it. Defensively, he pushed the person away from him. "What the hell?!" he shouted and saw a pair of furius brown eyes staring at him. "James?!"

"Were you with my sister!?" he shouted, not as if he was asking, simply waiting for Remus to tell the truth he already knew. But how could he had found out. "Tell me!" he snapped, pushing Remus' shoulder. "Tell me that Peter didn't see you leaving Room of Requirements with my baby sister!"

Oh, that's how.

Remus shot his eyes at Peter, than back at James. His eyes let loose. He was tired... and ashamed. You and him talked many times about getting caught but he thought the two of you would end by now... but you didn't.

"It just happened mate."

"Fuck you, Moony!" he pushed him again. "Did the two of you kiss?!" he asked. "Were you her first kiss?!"

"Yeah, okay!" Remus lifted his hands in defense. He felt as if he was being interrogated by the Ministry at this poing.

James only stared at him for a minute, than turned around and ran his hands down his face. He mumbled something under his breath- something Remus couldn't hear.

He then turned around really carefully, trying to control the boiling blood that kept flooding into his brain. "I'm not even going to ask if the two of you shagged- I'm just going to tell you this." he said calmly, however, you could still hear the fury in his voice- the one he never used before, not once in all years of friendship. "You are going to my sister and you will tell her that it's over." he warned. "She doesn't need this Remus. What you have- she doesn't need this." he threw knives with his poisinous glare.

Remus couldn't even argue with him. He knew that this was the reason why James would never let the two of you be together. You didn't know... you didn't and it wasn't your fault but he started this mess, and he felt as if he owed it to James to finish it.

---

By now, you knew something was off. Whenever Remus seemed to stay away from you, you got a strong feeling in your stomach. The two of you could talk it out, always but this time, the feeling was extremely powerful and deep inside, you knew that it wasn't good.

So you avoided him too. You simply felt... afraid...

And James knew. He knew Remus hasn't spoken a word to you yet because you seemed to be cheery and all over the place. Jumping from one friend to the other.

'She seems so happy.' - he thought at first, seeing you talk to one of your friends from class. 'I'm glad he was her first everything... but she can't go through with this. She'd break.' He looked at Remus, who stared into the book, ignoring you completely.

James stood up and walked to him. "Go talk to her." he said, more of a warning than a suggestion. Remus looked up at his friend's eyes and saw the demand in his darkened look. "Now." he finished and walked away.

Remus watched his best friend walk away, Sirius hiding away in discomfort, meanwhile Peter was lost in his own world. He looked at you on the other side of the room and just as he did, your eyes met. His heart stepped a beat, not knowing that it matched yours on the other side.

He shuffled in his seat for a second or two but cleared his throat and walked up.

It didn't take a lot of convincing to let you come with him. You loved him. You would be by his side every second that counted, if it wasn't for the circumstances the two of you were in.

The sky wasn't like before. It wasn't clear as day but it was still just enough chilly. He was about to graduate soon and you will go into your last year. You haven't talked about it yet but maybe this will finally be the conversation that clears all that mess up

You thought.

He couldn't get himself to say it. Your eyes shimmered so brightly- even on a day like this. How could he do this?

"Umm..."

You smiled and took a hold of his hand. "It's me Remus. You can always talk to me."

He swallowed hard and flickered his eyes from your hands to your eyes.

And then it was cold.

"James found out about us... and for me, I think, it's best for us to end this now. " he said, not letting you interrupt him when you started to process information. "I think it's best that we end this." he continued quietly, removing his hand from yours and avoiding your eyes... but you only stared, not blinking once... only stared.

He tried to smile but it wasn't sincere. At least not in your eyes. "We had so much fun- (y/n) but-"

"No..." you spoke weakly, clearing your voice and not letting a single tear fall from your eyes. "You can't just break up over this. James can understand- so he knows."

"No, (y/n)... listen..." he started but you interrupted him before he could continue.

"Why do you want to end it? Finally, James knows-"

"James doesn't want us to be together." he started to get more harsh with you.

"Well, that's his problem, not ours." you snapped back.

"What do you mean it's not our problem?! He's my best friend!"

"And he's my brother- if he was a real friend, he'd be happy for you."

"If he's a real brother, he'd make us break up!"

"What does that even mean?!"

Remus threw his head back. He cannot tell you. Not this. He could tell you a lot of things but the why... that he couldn't tell you. "It means it's over." he stood up.

"Don't you walk away from me!" you shouted behind him and grabbed his arm, turning him away.

"What don't you understand!?" he shouted back, pointing at his head with his fingers. "We were never meant to be, (y/n). It was a ride but we get off now!" he pointed at the floor, steaming from all the fury.

'Why couldn't you just let him go?'

"Oh, it definitely was a ride!" you scoffed, crossing your arms as he narrowed his eyes at your sarcasm. "But you're going to let one James get in the way between this?!"

"Yes!"

"Is HE THAT IMPORTANT, HUH?! WHY DID YOU EVEN CHOOSE ME THEN?!"

"YES!" he screamed at this point. "He is MORE important than you. He is MORE than you will ever be to me!" He lost his temper, blubbering out everything he thought. "I didn't choose you! You were just there- JUST FUCKING THERE- at the right place at the right time- THAT'S WHY YOU AND ME WOULD NEVER WORK OUT. You were an OPPORTUNITY!" he shouted, letting his eyes darken and glare at you maliciously. "And I took it gracefully." he finished in a low growl, his eyes shimmering when all of a sudden you took a step back.

...

...it's that how it felt?

It was like a click in his brain. He was too harsh. He was- you're still James' little sister- he still... "Shit, (y/n)..."

You pulled your hand away from his touch as he tried to take a hold of it. Physically, it wasn't possible for your world to be shaking at the moment... but somehow it has and you couldn't see.

"It came out really wrong-"

And your heart could, in logic, not hurt phisically. Hertbreak is psychollogical but then why did suddently feel as if it had been ripped out of your chest. A hole... a deep dark hole in your chest, sucking every last bit of your soul into it.

"(y/n), please say something. You just stepped on a nerve and I got angry-"

Was the world always this silent? Were the voices around you always this muffled. You couldn't hear, you couldn't feel.

You took a hold of your cold arms and the cold didn't hurt. Your fingertips... as blue and swollen as they were, they didn't pain.

"Come on, let's get inside."

You wish, you could have ran away but your legs felt numb, so you wobbled as far away from him as you could. The first corner you turned to, the moment your legs collapsed and you slid into the floor.

'Was I really this stupid?'

'What just happened?"

'What will my roommate say- she'll mock me-'

'He probably feels so great now that he knows I was in love with him.'

'Why does it hurt so much?'

Random thoughts came through your head. One running over the other- one as random as what to wear tomorrow. But the air was cold and you felt as if you deserved to freeze in it.

The stupidity, naivety and the immense ego death- everything has destroyed you. They say words cannot hurt you but they can. If they say it right, if they say it in the truthful manner- in a manner intended to hurt you... you?

So you thought back to the night the two of you first kissed. He said, the right place at the right time... that's all you were to him. A girl, who was there for him to use. A girl, he had no feelings for, not close to what you felt for the past few months. He kissed you and touched you, he had seen you naked and it didn't mean anything to him. He meant everything to you.

You were stupid. You thought he loves you. You thought you were special when he kissed you. That he found you attractive, beatiful- as he had said but you were just a day given opportunity.

If there was a monster that day, there, he would have kissed it. Because it was just there. Not because it cared for him, because it was his brother's best friend and it had trusted him with itself- no because the monster was just there, by the lake, at the same time like him.

Nothing. You meant... nothing.

---

Grey... the colours were grey. Every single one of them was gray, different shades of it. You promised yourself, you wouldn't let anybody affect you but you couldn't help the feeling in your chest, this soul sucking hole causing your whole body to ache. It felt as if your heart wasn't even there. He ripped it out and destroyed it.

You barely woke up, but you had to... for school. You had to go to school. Not that you cared anymore. You simply just existed. It was as if you couldn't remember when you got out of bed and when you got back into it. Time flew by like it didn't exist at all.

You didn't even know when one week passed by. It just did and nothing much mattered. You sat behind your desk and wrote your Transfiguration paper. It was when you were almost done when he altered your brain and there was the big pain in your throat. You swallowed it, closed your eyes and felt them burn.

You have to finish this. - you thought.

So you did and you forced him away. As soon as you did, you went to the bathroom and washed yourself. Then simply crawled to bed at six pm. It was your ruitine since then. You took a journal, you wrote it down, realising you cannot write things down without crying, so you grabbed the pillow and pushed it to your chest. You squeezed it so tightly in the meaning to place it into the empty hole in your chest.

It didn't cover, so you cried anyway. You did. No matter how hard you tried, you cried.

You don't remember what you talked with your roommates. You plastered a smile and nodded but avoided pretty much everybody.

Everything was a no for you.

A walk? - No.

Hogsmeade? - No.

Dinner? - No.

Study group? - No.

Roommates were a nice distraction but it wasn't enough for the pain. Even when James sent you a note, you always replied with a no. It was automatic by now. You said you had to study or that you were tired. You needed time for yourself. You needed to find your self-worth again because for the past months, you let your happiness depend on one person and that person just took all that happiness away from you.

So what you needed? It was work and sleep.

---

James knew you were heartbroken. He knew he was the annoying sibling but he wasn't used to being annoyed by you. You had always kept your emotions to yourself. The two of you weren't close emotionally but you had your own share of fun together. When he asked Remus when everything started, it was just around the time your bond started to get better. The two of you would spend much time together and you weren't so stuck up or annoyed at any slight inconvinience.

He never saw that side of you. The one that was emotionally opened to him. He didn't know it was Remus the sole reason for that. You were happy, excited and... well, in love. But it was the wrong person. Remus has something that he didn't wish for you to deal with. You were always the rebel of the family. He was the golden child but you were your own person. You didn't talk back t your parents as he did but you did all the things that you wanted. You did everything you wanted. That was your own magic. You were a rebel but you were a kind and understanding person.

James is the tough one in the group. He is the leader, the great one... even in your own family, he is the golden one, the perfect one but you always understood him the way nobody else did. You saw him, behind all of that facade. He loved being around you. You were his safe place. You were... his sister. The sister who gave him all the unsolicited advice and was there for him when nobody else was.

He didn't see much of you and most of the time you ignored his letters and messages. The times he did catch up to you, you excused yourself to go study and he knew you were furius at him because at times, you'd snap at him, throwing harsh words at him.

He knew you were sad and heartbroken but he also knew you'd move on sooner rather than later. You were just dramatic. Women always are.

It was to his surprise when he walked into the classroom and saw you sitting at one of the tables, laughing and smiling with a Ravenclaw his age.

It was Newt's and you were one year behind- so there was no reason you should be there.

Remus was more surprised than James. If he was bound to find out, he couldn't do it now. The protocol was to sit down and take the exam. No talking, no turning around but nothing could make him focus without knowing the truth about your attendence at this exam.

He could hear the professor something whisper in your ear but he couldn't understand it. Maybe, the professor realised you weren't supposed to be there either.

But nothing happened. You mumbled back and you stayed.

It was up until the exam was over when he turned around to see your chair empty, your robe disappearing behind the door. He ran after you but James had already caught up.

The two of you were already arguing.

"What do you mean you're graduating early?" James bulged his eyes out.

Graduating early?- Remus thought. You? Why would you ever graduate early, you hated studying.

"Why not? I've already taken most of the exams and I passed. McGonagall said if I roll up my sleeves and grab the whole thing, I can do it but the chance is small. Yet, here I am." you smiled and that twinkle in your eye that was known to more people to be the twinkle of up to no good.

What were you up to?

"You can't. You don't have any recommendations- not- no." James couldn't piece it together.

"Yes. I'm graduating and I am moving to southern Europe and I am never stepping foot in England ever again."

"Southern Europe?!" James shouted in disbelief. "You're shitting me?"

"I'm not. I have a plan to leave. I always had."

"That was your fairy tale. To live in Italy or Greece or some shit." he started to laugh.

"To be away from here." you said angrly. "I hate it here. I always had."

"No." said James.

"Yes..." mumbled Remus but nobody heard him due to the loud arguing between siblings.

You always said about leaving when the two of you were together. The beach, the culture... you said you felt as if nobody supported you here. The rebel of the family. You confided into him about how you felt there was zero effort made to make something out of you. All attention was always on James and that made you rebel in your family. You didn't want to be like James but everybody forced you to be at least somewhat like him. You said, how people take you for granted, underrating your power.

I guess, this was you taking your power into control.

Before he knew it, you were storming one way and James the other but unlike last time. He chose to follow you.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" he shouted behind you.

"Watch me." you turned around to see him then back around to turn a corner.

He caught up and took a hold of your hand but you snapped it away as soon as it touched you.

Of course, you wanted to see him. Of course, you wanted to talk to him, you craved him but you were furius beside all things. God, you could have screamed at him right now and hug him at the same time.

"You can't do this because you're angry at me. Don't take it on James." he started but you laughed.

"You think, I'm doing this for you?" you laughed, poking his chest with your finger. "I just grabbed the opportunity, Remus. I was just there, at the right place at the right time." you lowered your voice, quoting him.

"Come on- you don't know the whole background-"

"No, you know what Remus. I chose you. I fucking chose you to be my first. That means that I decided to trust you with my soul as well as my body and trusting people isn't easy for me." you continued. "I let you in- quite literally- but I thought we were something and you surely played the role to make me feel that way." you smiled forcefully, hiding away the feeling in your chest. You had no idea how a heart that is no longer there can still break.

"I really cared about you. I still do."

"You moved on, two weeks after us." you finally let him show a bit of your emotions. "Two fucking weeks and another girl was under your arm- God fuck, Remus. The hell is wrong with you."

"A lot..."

"Fuck you for playing the victim all the time." you pushed him hard. "Fuck you- fuck you- fuck you!" you continued to shout angrily. "I won't play the victim because I am not one. I'm moving on- away from fuckheads like you." you spat out. "Because you could have had somebody who would have loved you for everything that you are. You won't find anybody who will be prepared to love you as much as I was. Remember that, Remus Lupin. You won." you threw your hands up in defeat and walked away.

And it was one of those things that stick with you. It stuck with Remus because he didn't see you anywhere else anymore. Neither did James. He didn't know whether you were dead or alive. The graduation, they both looked for you but nowhere.

You disappeared from his life and it was until then when his life started to fall apart for him. You told me he could be whatever he wanted to be- even an auror. You supported him the way nobody else could and you accepted every flaw. He knew you would love him even more if he told you his secret but he thought.... he thought the two of you would stay friends. He thought, he had time with you. He thought he would appologise and the two of you would eventually talk.

He needed somebody. He needed somebody to talk to- always. Sirius was in Azkaban and James was dead. And all he could think about was needing you.

#marauders #marauders imagine #remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #marauders era #remus lupin x reader #james potter #james potter imagine

[earlgodwin]

unpopular opinion: i know most of the show fans find ursula bonadeo annoying and dislike her character because cesare projected lucrezia onto her and used her as a substitute. but after many rewatches, i grew to like her. she's very pretty, and she was very sweet to lucrezia while helping her with giving birth. i feel sorry for her because she's a noble young woman who spent her life trapped with an abusive husband who beats her. and when she thought she finally found this handsome, honorable savior who could free her (even though she was indecisive about him, which i don't blame her because women back in that era didn't have many choices, and her husband would probably kill her if he found out about her and cesare), he turned out to be unhinged, as he seduces her, and manipulates her while being lustfully obsessive over her. so, she was rightfully terrified and frustrated by cesare because he eventually assaulted her and dragged her around while forcing himself on her because she didn't exactly look like the perfect image (mirror of his sister) in his head after she cut her hair. then she got a very brutal end at the hands of the french army, raping her and mutilating her. she lived most of her life being tormented by cruel men. her character makes me so sad thinking about the women who were mistreated and killed by their abusive partners and were lost and forgotten to time because of the patriarchal system since it is beyond horrible towards women.

#thanks for coming to my ted talk (is that still a thing though?) #i'm just very weak for women okay? #i'm a cesare x lucrezia ride or die girlie through and through #but it wasn't the only reason why i didn't ship cesare with ursula #i'm not saying i don't like dark ships buuuut... #cesare x ursula just never clicked with me at all because all i was doing was rooting for ursula to leave cesare for not respecting her #she mostly existed to drive cesare's bloodthirst as we saw how he managed to murder her husband and then later avenging her #i'm probably the only person who is crying about ursula right now #ursula bonadeo #ruta gedmintas #the borgias #tw rape #tw abuse #text post #jen's unpopular opinions

[soulofapatrick]

Perfect Date - Pedro Pascal x reader/OC

Summary: Part three to Behind The Scenes and Never Letting You Go. I might rewrite it I’m not sure

Words: 1.07k

Warnings: None 

Pedro’s POV

Filming goes on as usual but now Y/N just alternates between sleeping in her trailer with Bella or crashing in mine. It all depends on how filming was that day, like after filming the section for David and Ellie it seemed like Bella really needed her sister. It was an intense part to film, the reality of what could have happened if it were real life sitting in the air for a while. 

I watched from across the set the way Bella hugged Y/N tight and the way the beautiful woman hugged her back like she would never let anything touch Bella. Y/N met my gaze and sent me a shy smile as if she hadn’t been moaning in my ear earlier that morning. Of course I couldn’t just let her go back to set the next morning without hearing those breathtaking sounds or feel the way she writhed underneath me. We weren’t able to get breakfast but little does she know I have a date planned, I just need Gabriel and Bella to hold up their end of this and help me out. 

Y/N isn’t one for big public acts so a fancy dinner date is out the question and a bad idea if we don’t want the paparazzi to make up a story about me and some mystery girl. I haven’t even asked her to date me yet, I plan to do that on this date. I want to set up a picnic of all her favourite snacks and we can get Italian takeaway as I’ve noticed spaghetti bolognese being her favourite meal. Whenever we all go our at a team it’s her go to and if they don’t have that she’ll have a burger. Gabriel and Bella are going to distract her as Gabriel seems to be her best friend on set and well, Bella’s her sister. I have no idea what they’re going to do but I hope it’s enough for me to set up. 

Tomorrow’s our day off so it’s planned for then. I have all the Indiana Jones movies bought and waiting for me on the hotel TV as Y/N’s always gushing over how much she loves the movies and how she’ll always rewatch them when she’s sad. I want it to be perfect. I want her to know just how much I love and care for her. I want to show her that she is more than the mind blowing sex. 

——————

It’s finally here and everything’s perfect. The hotel gave me roses which I spread all across the bed, around the blanket laid out and the picnic basket full of all of her favourite snacks at the bottom of the bed. The takeaway spaghetti is in tupperware containers inside a heat bag or whatever they’re called. 

I’ve showered and spent hours on deciding what to wear because this… this is what makes or breaks us. I settled on some loose jeans and a button up which I only button up three quarters of the way up, making sure my hair is fluffy and curly as Y/N can’t seem to keep her hands out of it or stop complimenting the curls. I neatened up my beard and then began to light the two cherry scented candles as it’s Y/N’s favourite scent. 

There’s a knock at the door and Gabriel’s calling, “Her eyes are closed.” 

I’m throwing the door open to find Y/N standing there, Gabriel covering her eyes but I can’t help just stare at how gorgeous she looks. She’s in black and white plaid jeans that just hit her figure in all the right places as well as a baggy cream sweater and Doc Martens. Her hair is down except for two twists on either side of her head. It’s so effortless yes has me feeling like a kid with a high school crush. 

Gabriel opens his mouth to speak and I realise I’ve been starting for a few minutes so I shoo him away and replace his hands with my own, guiding her into the room and kicking the door behind me. Her breath hitches when I stop her and press my chest to her back, unable to help myself because she’s gorgeous and she’s right here and I need to feel her in my arms. 

“Surprise sweetheart.” I take my hands away and her mouth falls open before she’s spinning around to throw herself at me in a hug. I wrap my arms around her waist as she runs her fingers play with the wisps of hair at the nape of my neck and she’s mumbling ‘thank you’ over and over again until I’m pulling her away from me, “Anything for you baby girl. I promised us a date.” 

“You did, ” She’s breathless, forest green eyes bright with love as I guide her over to the bed, “How did you?” She notices the food eyes widening and head flying up to meet my gaze again as we sit. 

“That’s for me to know and you to never find out.” I send a cheeky grin her way, heart pounding because I want to ask her before we settle down and begin otherwise it’d just be so awkward, “I-I’ve been meaning to ask you something,”

“Is everything okay Pedrito?” Concern covers her soft face as I grab her hands in mine, heart swelling at the use of my nickname. Only my family and the closest people call me that. It feels like a secret the way it perfectly rolls off her tongue. 

“Willyougooutwithme?” I blurt out and she laughs lightly as I feel my face flush bright red, taking a deep breath before trying again, “Will you be my girlfriend.” 

“I thought you’d never ask.” She leans across the bed and kisses me. It makes me want to knock everything off the bed and ravish her but I want to have this date just as badly. Y/N seems to have similar thoughts because she’s breaking the kiss to kick off her boots and just as quickly as she’s gone she’s back. This time she’s straddling my lap, eyes having darkened with something more than lust as she’s holding my face in her hands and pressing a kiss to my slightly parted lips that has me weak at the knees. I grab her hips to ground myself pulling away from the kiss to risk something so very very early on: “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

#pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #Pedro pascal fluff #Pedro pascal smut #Pedro pascal fanfic #the last of us #Bella ramsey

[maochira]

I just looked at Isagi's wiki and it says his favourite movie is My Neighbour Totoro and it makes him wish he had an older or younger sister OMG😭 I JUST HAD TO GET TO WRITING IMMEDIATELY. Also, that's one of my favourite movies as well!!

Tags: gn!little sibling!reader, fluff

-as soon as Isagi found out he'll be a big brother soon, he was very excited!! He started rewatching his favourite movie over and over and imagined playing outside with you one day

-because of the movie he hoped for a little sister, but in the end, he doesn't really care about your gender that much because he's very excited about being a big brother in general

-even when you were a baby and didn't understand anything, Isagi watched My Neighbour Totoro with you in his arms many many times and it made him look forward to seeing you grow up so he can play outside with you!!

-Isagi LOVES to go on walks with you, especially if it's in the park. When you were a baby either he carried you the entire time or kept you in your stroller

-when you learned to walk he adored your little steps and he always held at least one of your hands for support. Even when you became better at walking, he continued holding your hand so he could catch you better in case you tripped and so he wouldn't lose you

-he still kept showing My Neighbour Totoro to you many times and he also bought a Totoro plushie for you that you love VERY much. You carry it around everywhere you go, which Isagi adores a lot!!

-he makes references to the movie every time he gets the chance to. He mentions the catbus every time he gets on a bus with you and he always says Totoro might be hiding somewhere if you're near a forest

-he's definitely tried to "find Totoro" in the forest with you. Sometimes you got sad about not finding him and that was the reason why Isagi bought the plushie for you

-your mom dressed you up like Mei from the movie once and Isagi almost cried because of how cute you looked!!

-in general, Isagi adores you very very much and he loves you a lot!! He's so happy he gets to be your big brother and he loves watching you grow up and learn new things!

#bllk #bllk x reader #bllk x you #bllk headcanons #bllk isagi #blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock headcanons #blue lock isagi #isagi x reader #isagi x you #yoichi isagi x reader #yoichi isagi x you

[lunart-06]

My Makoto Naegi angst analisis thing (Hc)

(PLEASE KEEP IN NOTE): That this is just my general idea of him, kinda scared to share this cause qjdnnejf I know everyone has different opinions on Makoto so I'm just posting this in my own prespective of him. (It's a little messy cause I am unstable and disorganized when I write this so beware ooo)

Here's the art I made for this

So like, I believe Makoto has issues I think we all established that, and the moment when komaru mentioned of how he changes a lot in UDG (but still hold some same aspects of traits and habits that just makes him.... him) after managed to contact him the first time. It strucks me so bad that it gaves me a migrane /vpos

Like, Makoto earned his new title of the ultimate Hope (with the capital H and everything) just by defeating Junko the ultimate despair? By that point he was seen by the world as the savior and as the first and only hope they have thought lost for YEARS

Makoto's ability to move everyone by just words to which he probably didn't even realised the power he held over it. He's just incredibly passionate and its because his whole body speaks GENUINE emotions, his stubborn willpower and determination undeterred by despair and everything Junko herself has set up for.

It is something not everyone has the luxury to have. His optimism. But that's the thing.

Makoto was the ultimate Hope, only because he was just optimistic in nature. It was the flock of the moment during the last trial, his contagious optimism is what everyone, his friends, the world, preceives as Hope. The enlighting feeling of inspiration by just words of support and motivations for the first time since years after the tragedy started.

But again. Thats the thing. The "Hope" they admire, they clung onto, they worshipped, and they DIE for, was his mere optimistic nature. Just like he said himself "Optimism is all I'm best at".

Its cause well, it's true. (Kinda)

All he was ever good at in his view was just being that. When I rewatched future arc I sense how unBEARABLY useless he is without that title and usual positive nature, and his words don't reach the leaders of future foundation from attempting to kill one another (aside from certain ones, and at the very end ofc, but even then it was too late to prevent the deaths). His words doesnt even managed to reach Ryota from preventing him in using the Hope brainwash video.

It just further shows how.... normal he is

Despite the title, it just shows that he is nothing but a normal guy. He's not some god everyone preceives him to be, he's just some dude that was placed in a wrong time and place.

It's like all the good he is being- well, normal. Like typical "good kid". Somehow it kinda hurts to think about it, like you're obligated to see all positive in lives for it as everyone depends on you for such.

And now the whole world was in the palm of his hands.

I feel like he's scared, despite his strong stand and brave, determined face, he is a normal, ordinary guy that scared to lose what he was ever good and seen by everyone as. Being optimistic and hopeful.

Its like he's not allowed to even be sad for a moment to cry his hearts out. Because the world depends on him, his friends depends on him, he rely on them too much, he cant lose hope cause if he does, the world will fall apart AGAIN, and people will die AGAIN (just like his classmates, just like the people who died for him) he doesnt think he can handle that the second time.

Since that one thing Makoto despises the most is violence. Death to be exact.

He was probably exhausted but he cant yet, he has to keep moving forward, for the world's sake, his friends' sake, his only remaining family; his sister's sake, and for the sake of those who had died so he can carry out their hope that was left behind.

Theres also this quote that remind me of him:

"I'm scared that the moment I look like I'm suffering. Noone will believe me anymore"

Because like. He really cant do things as much without his friends. All he has was his hope; his positivity, determination, and optimistic nature. So he stood tall, facing despair, putting up a strong look just so people of the world, and his friends know, that they all can trust him. To have faith in him.

Because being optimistic is all he's best at.

That hope he has held dearly was destroying him internally. Scary thing is it? Despair isnt what was breaking him. It was the very thing that he was good at. And the very thing everyone thought of when they see him.

Just like junko when you think about it. She- ultimate despair, destroyed herself by the very thing she is (basically executed herself in the last trial) and now makoto was doing the same thing.

"The world's hope", "the strongest who never falters at the face of despair", "the savior", "their guiding light"

How much longer should he keep that up? Before everyone realised that he's nothing but just an ordinary, plain, boring guy?

How much longer should he fall before allowing himself to hit the ground?

A sprout who never truly managed to grow old, it's choose to shelter other by it's leaves, holding still, unmoving.

Yet its roots slowly rotten by parasites and disease, trying to keep the earth together. They can't die now, they're the protector, the hope of it all. <-(quote by one of my friend Ele, which I think is neat in itself, considering Naegi's name means sappling or seedling in general ajdhwjdj)

He may have survived the first killing game that birth his title as the Ultimate Hope,

He may have survived the second killing game in the Neo world program that shows us how devastated it must be for Makoto that Nagito would go that far for the sake of hope, how Makoto's words and hope does not reach the remaining survivor,

He may survived the third killing game in the Future Foundation where it must be devastating that he's unable to understand the victims fully from preventing them to try and kill eachother off ("don't try pretending you understand them, you don't understand them at all" kinda feel), where he watched as Kyoko died for his hope, not telling him THAT she will die, letting him live because not only that he was the closest friend she ever has, but knowing her; she thinks that the world still need the ultimate hope, and because of that, she was ready to accept her fate for it, because she was assured that Makoto is strong enough to move forward even when it's hard, because she has faith in him. Because she believes that Makoto will never give up Hope.

Eventhough he had survive countless scenarios where he could die anytime of those. I feel like eventhough he had survived multiple times.. he had died, multiple times as well, to become who he is now (multiple rebirth symbolism). To the point where he is unrecognizable in his own eyes, the feeling of the old him far out of reach, who is he now?

Things are so simple to him back then, why does things don't make sense to him about himself now?

He may never feel lonely outside, because he believes that his friends will always have his back, he believes that there will always be someone that could give him a hand.

But here, in his own mind, in his own exhaustion, in his own struggle, in his own confusion, he is completely all alone. This one is his alone to go through, his friends has too much on their plate already to handle this, he relied on them too much already.. (in a way, perhaps, he try to rely on others less).

Theres soooo many I wanna say about him but this is the general idea of my view on him, or er, version ig? His accidental savior complex that is.

And don't make me start of his self-sacrificial tendency. /lh

#danganronpa #makoto naegi #lunardr thoughts #danganronpa 3 #danganronpa 3: the end of hope's peak high school #also to note how despite his attempt to assure strongly of their escape and protection to Sayaka #it's still wasn't enough to stop her from drowning in her own desperation #its almost like she doesn't believe in him at all #butterfly effect as what my friend said /lh

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - just RELAX BL, you're stressing me out

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top. However, I've put quite a few on hold for travel reasons.

Oct 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 10 of 12 - Boyfriends are cute boyfriends. Reconciliation with daddy and then major brother drama. How exciting. Gah but that closing scene, these two are such great actors! 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 8 fin - A perfectly serviceable final episode. I did love the red Chinese-style wedding to go with the “hia.” Also, just a little Thai 'poke poke poke' at China. 

Final thoughts?

This is a nice addendum to Cutie Pie, but it’s relatively incomprehensible even if you’ve watched that previous installment. I can’t imagine it will make any sense at all if you haven’t. Frankly, the most impressive thing about this show was the makeup team. MaxNat give excellent chemistry, all the high heat is well done, and the friendships are adorable, even if the story is nonsensical. It’s fine, I’m relieved it was only 8 eps. I enjoyed it for the pair but I will probably never rewatch. A weak 8/10

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Lucky Love ep 9 of 24 -Heartbroken (drunk) gay boy meets (fights) sister’s new chef. I love the femme bestie. Adorbs. This one seems pretty good actually. I like all the shots of Bangkok’s actual traffic. POV is a bit of a sad sack tho. 

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - There is something clever about this narrative in the way that they are each each other’s first and second loves, but also age gap kinda creepy (Thailand maybe leave this one for Japan?)

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 8 of 10 eps - So much whiny gay drama babies. However, it also manages to be painfully slow, through the simple act of having 90% of the show be boys sitting around staring at their phones. Then it suddenly got way higher heat than I expected. Honestly, this could’ve ended at 8 sps. I don’t see how extending the show is going to improve it in any way.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 11 of 12 (not a BL but I'm watching it anyway) - I don’t have faith in any couple. One of my favorite things about this show is watching how many boys Mark can kiss. I know everyone is focusing on Neo, but seriously baby boy got game. Meanwhile Boston’s dick must be made of self-lubing steal pipe; I remain entirely uninterested is TopMew; Mew’s fam demonstrate why a gay boy should never take advice from straight women; and the slut-shaming agenda continues. NO SINGING. No character in this show is happy when Boeing turns up, but the rest of us trash-loving muckrakers are thrilled.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 3 of 5 - Oh it is so cute and so sweet and so aching. I really did not want the confession to happen, even though I knew it had to. There is an element of torture to this one that only Japan can execute with such precise softness.

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 7 of 10 - I remain charmed. But while the me of 2018 would have thought this one of the best BLs ever, the me of now is finding it a bit dated and nostalgic.

Bon Appetit (Korea Weds iQIYI) 7-8fin - Romance between an office worker and the man from his past next door who cooks well. It was a very sweet and cute tale of food as love in the All the Liquors family of KBL. I’m not wild about it, I did enjoy it, I was happy to have it show up on my dash, but ultimately it will simply become one of the KBL crowd. 8/10 

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 10 of 13(?) - another one where they are separated for most of the show. Although the sides are giving win. 

Bump Up Business (Korea Gaga) 1-2 of 8 - from Idol Romance staring OnlyOneOf's Nine & Mill, this released as a movie in July in SK but is now being recut/reissued as a series. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity plagued by scandal. After that OmegaX Shoulder bullshizz business I am very wary of this show, but this pair is already better cast.

Out of the mouths of OnlyOneOf (!!!) babes...

As to the show? I don’t know. I mean I love the idea, am nervous about Korea (with that bubble) doing a meta critique of the BL industry, with K-pop idols, using an existing group. It just seems like there’s a lot of mines in this small field, and it could go horribly horribly wrong. I am enjoying it, but also anxious the whole time I’m watching it for culture/market reasons. That said, I did pretty much ask for this exact show. So I can't complain, now can I?  

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 5 of ? - I honestly don’t entirely understand what is going on. But it all seems to be the Psychotic Pretty Kitty’s fault. Oo caught in the act of drug-induced cheating - DRAMA. Dung should cut his losses and leave - cute doctor husband or not. Lovely kiss from the sides. I gotta say, this cast is hella pretty. I’m not mad that this team is kind of turning into GMMTV Vietnam.

It's Airing But...

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 8 of 12 - I will try to watch 8-12 and do a series review when I get back in November but... not sure I will be able to. Fingers crossed.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 8fin - completed, my final thoughts in Nov.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. 

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) - Yukinori, a convenience store clerk was accidentally stabbed by a thug and nearly died. He returns home to find an angel waiting for him. The drama is an adaptation based on Harada’s manga of the same name (which I did not like). With only five episodes and a good chance this won’t end happily, I am going to wait and let you tell me how it goes. Binge it when it is complete if it's safe.

In Case You Missed It

GMMTV posted their initial 2024 line up, here's my round up of the BLs. It includes 2 JBL adaptations, 2 KBL adaptations (that they aren't admitting to) and vampires. If you want to know how I did on the predictions that's here and the answer is: very badly indeed.

I am watching the Y Journey: Stay Like a Local series. But they are essentially tourist board long-form advertisements. I enjoy the promo aspect with regards to the food. And seeing some of my favorite pairs do interesting other things is kinda fun. But the whole thing feels disingenuous when gay marriage is still not legal and it’s essentially the Thai government (making these ads) who is stopping that from happening. I have a similar feeling to iQIYI as a content provider. It’s not queerbaiting in the original sense of the term, but it’s pretty gross to use gay for advertising with a nationalistic propaganda agenda, when being gay is still not legal in your country. Yes I struggle to reconcile myself with this on the regular, and it’s an ongoing hypocritical struggle for my tiny withered tired old heart.

All that said, this week's installment, He’s Not Happy, did make me want to rewatch Make a Wish. There’s no kissing in this series but JudoFluke kiss beautifully, so If you haven’t seen Make a Wish, it’s very good and I recommend tracking it down.

Next Week Looks Like This

Upcoming October BL

10/26 My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thai iQIYI) 8 eps - nerd retreats from the world into an online game and makes friends with a little group, they meat in real life, one of them is hot, they fall in love, hottie turns out to be a gangster. Trailer

10/31 SHADOW (Thai Gaga) - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

We stan consent and talking about sex during sex. Thank you Venus in the Sky.

I guess Ray's getting his 3some? Only Friends

Dangerous Romance hitting up some old school tropes.

Naughty Babe giving us our beloved domesticity and tiny gay families. @heretherebedork you happy?

(Last week)

#this week in bl #Naughty Babe series review #thai bl #only friends #Venus in the Sky #Absolute 0 #OnlyOneOf #Kpop #Korean BL #Bump Up Business #i'm worried #Bon Appetit series review #Y Journey: Stay Like a Local #gmmtv 2024 #bl updates #bl reviews #currently airing bl #new bl #2023 bl #Taiwanese bl #japanese bl

[twinsunstars]

Thoughts on The Bad Batch Episode 12 - Juggernaut - A Discussion Post

This episode had a lot of action, feelings, and a very unexpected return. Let's return to this week's episode filled with exciting moments and moments filled with worry!

(SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVE NOT SEE THE EPISODE YET! all screencaps from www.cap-that.com! https://www.cap-that.com/starwars/the-bad-batch/312/)

CX-2 returns to Mount Tantiss with Omega, Hemlock coming by to pick her up. He tells Omega to follow him, and CX-2 lets her go of her handcuffs, returning to his ship.

I'm being so serious, we have three episodes left. If CX-2 doesn't get unmasked by the next episode I'm going to lose it. If it ends up happening near finale or even in the finale, it's gotta be a character that's so important to the plot (*cough* Tech) that we had to wait so long for this. But I also feel like if this is Tech, shouldn't it have happened by now at least? I'm so confused.

I saw someone post about this and I didn't notice it at first, but if you zoom in on this shot above, you can see that Hemlock's glove is missing, showing both of his hands clearly. I rewatched the episode and noticed the error, but the second they go back into Tantiss he has it back on.

Hemlock immediately takes Omega to Emerie, wanting her to keep testing Omega to make sure she has the whole M-count thing. Emerie seems reluctant for a bit, but keeps doing her job. Omega tells her that she doesn't have to do this, but Emerie says she has to. But she is happy her sister is safe at least. Omega questions if she is truly safe, and she really isn't. Emerie likely knows this too, but she's still trying to open her eyes more to all the wrongs around her.

Hunter (with Batcher) gets back to Crosshair and a now awake Wrecker, feeling better after getting knocked out in the explosion from last week. Wrecker is upset Crosshair let Omega go, but Crosshair understood her choice and the fact that she let the Empire stop hurting the locals of Pabu.

I got so sad when Crosshair's hand started shaking again, he's so terrified of Mount Tantiss and what he went through. He tells his brothers that there is a way of trying to find Tantiss, and that is through the former Vice Admiral Rampart.

Phee shows up with AZI, having gotten here secretly away from the Empire's eyes. She finally meets Crosshair, and tells him that Tech has told her about him. My heart-

I would have loved to see all of the off-screen interactions Tech and Phee had, he really liked to talk with her, and she loved listening. Lula and Tech's goggles being visible behind Phee and AZI made me even more sad.

Phee goes with the boys to the Imperial labor camp on Erebus, making her ship fall to sneak into the planet undetected. Girl was over here driving in heels; she's such an icon. Wrecker and Crosshair were struggling in the back, and Hunter was worried. His helmet just flying freely when the ship is falling was so funny. Tech would adore Phee's flying since she drives like him. Phee manages to get them in and drops them off to access the prison and find Rampart.

The boys manage to obtain control of a tank transporting prisoners, which Rampart is in. I was not expecting to see him again after what happened in Season 2, as I kinda just left the character behind ever since he got arrested and Hemlock replaced him as the new reappearing villain a few episodes later last season. Someone joked that they Agent Kallus'd him because they added more hair to Rampart, which is just funny. Rampart manages to recognize Crosshair under his armor, and Crosshair was so sassy with him too, I loved it.

The Imperials on the prison base notice something wrong with the tank the Batch stole and go after it, leading to an action-packed chase. (And Hunter drives insanely.) Phee manages to rescue them just in time, shooting down one of the Imperial ships chasing them. Rampart had gotten stunned after trying to shoot the boys, and it was hilarious how they were just throwing him around like a potato sack.

The Batch ask Rampart where Tantiss is, but not even he knows. He says it was designed like that so it wouldn't be found. I was spending some of my free time on Wookiepedia and I wish we could send the Batch the information that Mount Tantiss is on the planet Wayland. It's not coordinates, but it's something.

Meanwhile, Emerie continues to test Omega's blood, and it comes out positive again. She looks at Omega, seeming deeply worried. She doesn't say anything, but Emerie has something on her mind. Hemlock comes back and Emerie tells him about the results, and he wants Omega to come with him. Omega goes to the same place he took Nala Se and Emerie previously, taking her down to The Vault. Omega asks questions about the M-count situation, to which Hemlock gives her vague answers and direct answers about what the Empire has been doing with M-count subjects.

Omega sees the kids in The Vault, frowning. Eva sees Omega and lifts her head from her game, and I just know that she and Omega will be besties. Omega asks who the kids are, and Hemlock replies that they are the pieces of the puzzle that they are trying to solve.

He says, "...this is your new home", and the doors immediately shut behind Omega. The chills I got; and Omega looked scared. The episode ends there, and Omega is locked up again with no direct escape yet.

There wasn't much that I wanted to discuss from this episode, but there are only 3 episodes left, so we are now truly in a big anxious countdown. How will Omega escape this time? Will the Batch manage to obtain coordinates to locate Tantiss? Where's Echo when you need him? Will Emerie wake up soon? Will CX-2 unmask himself soon? There's still so much to unpack, and so little time.

#star wars #the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #the bad batch season 3 #tbb #sw tbb #tbb s3 #tbb spoilers #tbb season 3 #the bad batch omega #cx 2 #the bad batch tech #royce hemlock #the bad batch hunter #the bad batch crosshair #the bad batch wrecker #admiral rampart #phee genoa

[bozoswozo]

Just finished rewatching Death Note, and though it’s completely for my personal pleasure and I would doubt if anyone would read it from start to finish, it’s rant time! *spoilers alert*

First of all, woah. The second watch was truly an experience. Everyone is always talking about ‘I wish I could rewatch … for the first time again.’ and though I’d usually agree, I don’t for Death Note specifically. I don’t really understand why, but in my second watch had a way bigger impact on me than my first. Maybe because I watched it for the first time 4 years ago and I’ve grown now, with different opinions.

ONE THING THAT DIDN’T CHANGE IS MY DISLIKE TOWARDS LIGHT‼️

This being said, the ending where he tried to run away from the police, wounded, made me feel kind of sad for him. He wanted to do good, sure. But after all, anyone who uses bad to solve bad is as bad as the bad they’re trying to solve. Evil cannot be used to fight evil :P

I understand his point of view (somewhat) but I still dislike him. How are you going to watch this man commit genocide, lead his father to his death and feel no remorse, consider killing his sister to save himself (again, no remorse), lead on the angel that is Misa in a cruel way, kill L and Mello (their deaths are enough for me to dislike him but I needed to give more reasons :3) etc etc and still root for him?

Again, no shade to Light lovers. To each their own :P.

Moving on. When I first watched Dn, I was only attached to L. And so, seeing him get killed off and be replaced by Near sparked in me a deep hatred towards that boy. But maturing is realising that Near is the third best character in the show (Right after L and Mello) and that he’s a cutie pie.

And he’s also extremely smart. Correct me if I’m wrong but before L died, he mentionned that if something were to happen to Watari, that he’d erase all the data. That means that Near had none of the informations that L had collected during his investigation.

That also means that he was able to conduct those researches by

1. Not having Light around to examine his attitude or lock him up illegaly

2. No knowledge of what had happened before L’s death

3. He was nowhere near as experienced as L when it came to solving cases (I think…)

He still was able to arrive to the same conclusion as L though, as he mentioned, it wouldn’t have been possible without Mello :)

I also happened to think about Ryuk a lot more and I think he’s the funniest character. My guy dropped his notebook into the human world because he was bored and he landed on a boy who wanted to become God of the new world. And he just went along with it, giggling every now and then. We never truly got a glimpse of his internal monologue, so we don’t know if he agreed with Light or not.

One thing we know, though, is that he sure was amused…

Light is almost as funny. Think about it. If you got a notebook that could kill people, you’d probably get rid of it (I hope so) or AT LEAST ponder on what you would do with it, or if you’d even use it. If you’re a sane human being, your first instinct would be to ‘No way! I could never kill anyone!’.

But Light wasted no time. In only one episode he went from a privileged, smart man to an absolute deranged killer, and that’s hilarious. He didn’t even think about it twice. It’s like he just had a psychotic side to him that just had to wait for the perfect moment to be released.

Also, I knew Matt didn’t have much screen time. But when I rewatched it I noticed that he really DID NOT HAVE ANY! Like they barely add up to thrirty seconds and that sucks cuz he was so cool.

Speaking of cool, MELLO!

He’s so cool like everything about him, his hair his scar HIS STYLE, his aura EVERYTHING. AND I feel like we tend to forget that he is SMART! Like he is smart enough to have been considered a good successor to L and thats crazy to me. It’s sad we didn’t get to fully experience his smartness though.

Same goes for Near. Though it is stated somewhere (I don’t remember where) that he is a little bit smarter than L (but L has a lot more experience, something that cannot be overlooked), I feel like most of the conclusions he’s made appeared from thin air. Did I just not pay attention?

Because at least with L we could see his train of thoughts, his way of thinking and we understood why he came to all those conclusions and decisions.

But with Near it just feels…rushed. (or maybe I js didn’t pay attention…) Like wdym you found that out…It feels like he was more guessing than discovering. Kinda sucks bc he is allegedly smarter than L and I would’ve loved to see it more.

Anyway,

I finished ranting. If you’ve read all this then woah pls get a life (in a nice way <3) .

Death Note amazing anime, amazing openings, amazing aesthetic, amazing characters, AMAZING EVERYTHING‼️

#anime #death note #death note fandom #kira death note #l lawilet #light yagami #ryuzaki #misa amane #misa death note #l death note #mello death note #mello #mihael keehl #n death note #nate river #near death note #ryuk death note #me ranting #i loved it sm #its truly a masterpiece #mello pls marry me #L too #for you #rant post #mini rant #is it mini? #im just yapping #idk man #watch death note

[unlikelyjapan]

s2e4 rewatch notes

I'm a bit tired, please forgive the typos:

At the intro, we get a montage of the permits and files and drills, the sense of urgency - the furiousness of the work and notes begging Carmy for something (that was probably already set on his list in the last episode). I guess I stopped paying attention to the timelines - they're now 7 weeks out with no walls and we haven't really gotten into the meat of the series yet - meaning we don't really see Carmy flake the fuck out until 1 month from opening.

Sugar's "don't tell anyone - this is my problem" bit is so sad, watching her castigate herself for bringing another her/carmy/mikey/donna/their dad into the world. I also hate the way such a heavy moment was turned into such a "womp womp - wall fell" moment, as the situation (and Sugar) deserved a lot more gravitas.

But this is a show through the male lens. Richie feels vindicated that he "guessed it". Carmy doesn't know how to show his concern (and to be fair, she'd probably pummel him if he expressed anything in that moment), but the fact that he still lets his sister shoulder so much of the restaurants burdens alone through the rest of the series shows the level he disassociates from his family (even his only caring/loving family member) at every turn.

Marcus is such a good son - I hope in season 3 we get a (posthumous, I presume) look at who his mother was, what shaped his character, how his brother/father play a role (if any) in his current family dynamic etc.

The Chester + Marcus pairing is a magical talisman that protects the show from a deluge of male-on-male emotional evasion, jousting and toxic co-dependency. I don't care that Chester is about as believable as Claire as a character, mainline that shit into my veins.

I love that Carmy ensured that Marcus would have the identical experience he had when he staged in Copenhagen (as described in Fishes to Mikey) - this is in no way coincidental, he would have had to make plenty of arrangements/requests to Marie for things to play out that way. He wanted Marcus to see Copenhagen through the same magical lens he did, knowing Marcus needed the inspiration and a break from his own version of family strife.

The invisible cat (Coco), the looming presence of Marcus' mom on the viewers minds, and the bike scene are three great examples of things that feel foreboding (like the other shoe is going to drop on Marcus) but never actually amount to anything. Whether existential or hopeful, I like it.

"Do you know how to make Shisho Gelee?" - this is such a gentle test to see how insecure Marcus is in this environment. Passing him the recipe as he's googling was an awesome act of amnesty. It immediately brings out Marcus' curiosity in the next scenes - he's asking all the right questions and looks so joyful when Luca gives him concise answers.

The scenes played out to Otis Redding's "I've Been Loving You Too Long", starting with "You're tired - and you want to be free" playing as Marcus walks home. Temporarily free from the impending death of his mother at home after a long illness. Free from the constraints of the (up until now) low-level jobs Marcus' has held down in kitchens with minimal inspiration and nowhere to go. Free from loneliness? The next cut is Sydney interviewing staff, as if on cue.

The quenelle - the heavy-lovin' part of the song as Marcus' is immersed in his work with Luca, falling in love with the ritualization of his craft. Things in Marcus' life haven't exactly been going right, but this is a place of solace. He follows this up by calling his Mom - professing his love for his craft, as well as for her.

Sidebar: The minty snickers bar is almost a sexual release scene during the ballad. I get why so many folks were led down the road to hell that is Marcus x Luca fanfic, as weird as I think that is (no hate! do you!)

The song ends with the pastry dissection on the boat. This man found love/spiritual release in Copenhagen, just like Carmy. "Mission accomplished, I guess."

Fak saying "Dude! We're best friends, we don't tell secrets!" re: the alliance stuff. So....every dude at The Beef/Bear is his best friend, Sugar is Mommy, and Sydney (and Tina, for that matter) are ????

I feel like Fak may be the thing that continues to insulate The Beef/The Bear as a Berzatto clubhouse for wayward boys at this juncture, but I'm originally from Canada (and thus have been force-fed Matty Matheson a.k.a Fak-Light since the mid-aughts) so there's probably some bias creeping in here.

Luca started as a chef 14 years ago. If he entered the profession and competed against Carmy at the same level/experience as a high-school graduate, that makes him and Carmy in the rough age range of 29-32, adjusting for education sans A-levels in the UK. We can put away that screenrant article and die in peace now.

Mikey was "Really tight, but also really out of his fucking mind, and he wanted to open a bakery". Something something Berzatto parallels.

Luca says "I've got a younger sister, somewhere, yeah" after asking about Marcus' family. Luca's got a case of the family damage, the trouble in school, a past-tense case of the ferocious mopes - all the same watermarks as Carmy. Meanwhile, Marcus was just sharing his mothers prognosis, and speaks of his brother with no ill will (even though he doesn't appear to be in the caretaking position with his mom) - are they foreshadowing that Marcus' doesn't have the damage that makes a truly great/ritualized/masochistic chef in the long run?

Luca's may have learned more lessons in life than Carmy has (in part by being thwarted by Carmy) but the habits borne out of family evasion/searching for something else are so engrained with that backstory. Or maybe Marcus' represents the happier/new way of doing things, breaking the toxic cycle (more thoughts on this down the line).

Luca worked to keep up with Carmy after he came to a place of acceptance that he'd never be the best, and that ended up being enough for him. Maybe a blessing is that Marcus' gets to sidestep the whole toxic cycle and just absorb knowledge (from Luca, from Carmy, from Syd) - he's not in a running position, just like Tina.

But of course, we never worry about Tina - she's too self-possessed. Marcus is emotional and easily influenced, so I have a feeling his narrative could turn on a dime.

Luca says "At a certain stage, it becomes less about skill and more about being open....." In summary:

Marcus - Open, but I fear could easily become closed in the wrong environment/trauma.

Carmy - Closed, doesn't really understand how to open when not hiding behind the guise of the restaurant/Syd/emotional fabrications

Sydney - Wants open, but always closes instinctively for self-protection.

Natalie - Open, with the limited emotional tools she has at her disposal.

Richie - *learning* to open, but that's a long fucking road.

Tina - Open

"It helps to have good people around you, too" - see above. The Bear represents the inherent goodness of people, with familial history run roughshod over it.

Marcus asking "Was It worth it? The time you put in" quickly followed by Luca saying "I dunno....ask me tomorrow"

Isn't this the feeling of fecklessness that almost everyone has with their creative craft being converted to labor? There's been a lot of theories floating around that Carmy doesn't like cooking anymore/never liked cooking - could it just be the long-standing feeling of irrelevance when you've taken a deep-dive into your craft for so long that you can't see the forest (inspiration, caring for people) through the trees (red tape, skill level, trauma etc.)?

The man on the bike could also represent saving someone the way that Marcus can't save his mom - it alleviates some of the feelings of powerlessness, and the exchange of comfort in the hug a reciprocity he can no longer experience with her.

"Are you sure you want to get back on the bike?"

A bad thing happened, but the man feels compelled to keep moving - as Marcus said to Syd in S1 "just keep moving" - there are a bunch of metaphors for just proceeding with the restaurant here.

Syd is literally just being goofy and talking to Marcus like a friend when he first calls - I guess I imagined there being a little more heat/aloofness there on her behalf, but it's giving friend-zone. She wouldn't act so familiar if there was a crush, I don't feel its in her DNA....

Marcus sharing the nightmare about his mom's impending death with Sydney is huge (again, the other shoe dropping) - Sydney tries to give an empathetic response (she's not great at anything with a whiff of mortality to it, but she approaches the topic with optimism) and caps it off with a "ugghh - I miss you man" as a reassuring gesture - he's her friend and a great source of comfort.

He nods quietly, waits a beat, and says "I miss you too" - and you can tell the pregnant pause has let Syd know that there's gravity/consequences to her words. She diffuses with the freeze humor because what the hell else are you going to do once a guy tells you about his dying mom nightmare, you spurt out a casual "I miss you bro" and he responds back tenderly that he misses you too. Unenviable.

"Okay, goodnight dude" - Syd hangs up immediately. Oof. Everyone talks about Syd getting a love interest in season 3 to level the stakes with Carmy, but I want Marcus' to bag a hot expediter or something just so there's a bit of joy in his life without a crazy dramatic subplot ensuing.

The mild smile on Marcus' face is so peaceful when he masters the dessert. It's such a quiet satisfaction you can only get when you create things. What a nice way to end the episode.

Holy crap, this was far too long. If you stuck it out, thank you!

#the bear fx #the bear season 2 #the bear spoilers #the bear #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #marcus brooks #syd x carmy #marcus the bear #the bear s2

[youchangedmedestiel]

I'm still doing my rewatch while my sister is seeing the show for the first and, man, there was thing I didn't remember very well.

Dean facing his demon self in a dream, that was so fucking INTENSE! WOW! And seeing Dean not wanting to go to Hell while you know what will happen is fucking heartbreaking. He finally said his father put so much shit on him and was like, "Yeah you go tell them, LOUDER!" The line that finished me was him saying he didn't deserve to go to Hell. He really didn't. And it makes me so mad to know how his story end, whatever, this is a problem for later.

And then in Mystery Spot, Sam had to live 6 months without Dean. You can see how much he suffered. Before watching it, I told my little sister that it was a fun episode, a bit sad but still funny. At the end she said: "that was the episode you wanted to see?" Well yeah, it was but in my head it was definitely funnier. But here Sam looked fucking destroyed at the end.

#spn rewatch #spn 3x10 #Dream A Little Dream Of Me #spn 3x11 #Mystery Spot #dean breaks my heart #my poor baby didn't deserve all of this #i want to hug him so bad #dean winchester #sam winchester #I was sad for sam too #you can clearly see how destroyed he looks #the end of this season is going to be hard to watch #but I can't wait to be at season 4 #for you know who #I want to know what my sister think about him #castiel #destiel #deancas #i love dean winchester so much #my random thoughts about spn

[rey-jake-therapist]

It's kinda hilarious but mostly sad for me that from the moment I muted the JohnLock tag because I was tired of seeing so-called TLJCers "meta posts" from 8 years ago and was looking in vain for Sherlock fans who had other interests than a non canon ship, I just... Don't see Sherlock related posts anymore? Except for a couple of Adlock and Sherlolly posts, but I don't engage with these ships either so 🤷

I took my Sherlock x OC fic off AO3 because I ended up losing interest. Never did I take off a fic from AO3 after only three chapters! And it wasn't even because it wasn't read: I was actually surprised to see it bookmarked, receive several kudos and even a couple of lovely comments. The kudos were anonymous for most of them but so what. It was nice to see the attention anyways. So it's not a case of "woman bitter because her shitty fanfic wasn't successful". Considering I had only three chapters online, it was a promising start.

Yet, I lost interest because my passion for the show wasn't fed by exchanges with other fans. I mean, I had a few very nice discussions, -I don't want to tag anyone but the three of you I have discussed Sherlock with several times should easily recognize themselves 💜-, but before I muted the JL tag I spent more time scrolling down than anything else. I think it's a shame because there was so much to this show than a ship. With my story I wanted to explore Sherlock's past, uncover a potential trauma caused by something else than Victor Trevor's death, open a discussion about this, about his relationship with his brother, his sister and his parents.... And I KNOW that Sherlock's relationship with John, wether it's considered platonic or not, is very important. I just wish I could find something else to discuss than Sherlock's feelings for X or Y, or his sexuality.

Some could say it's pretty much the same thing for the Hannibal's fandom: there's no doubt that if I muted Hannigram I wouldn't find any Hannigram related posts. Or I'd probably find anti Hannigram posts, ew. The big difference to me is that Will and Hannibal's relationship is at the core of the show. The show is called "Hannibal" but it could just as well be called "Hannibal and Will": even if you don't ship them, take the relationship out of the equation and the show has nothing left to say, like... Literally.

Don't get me wrong, Sherlock without the pair Sherlock/John would probably be crap, but it would still have Sherlock's relationship with his family to cover. And boy there's much to say, imho. While Hannibal has no one else than Will. Will has no one else than Hannibal. That's the story. Also Hannigram is canon. So it makes sense to me that most of the fandom's posts are focused on Will and Hannibal. It hasn't stopped me from starting a pre-Hannigram fic because I'm very intrigued by the professor Lecter had an affair/student Alana Bloom storyline they hinted at in season 2, but I know I won't lost interest in this fandom anytime soon, because I feel fed by it. And this weird/toxic/and yet very romantic relationship between these two weirdos keeps fascinating me, even after four rewatchings! Besides, most Hannibal fans are unhinged which is I must say, a quality I appreciate very much 😁

#Fandom rant #i'm sorry #Sherlock bbc #hannibal tv show #Hannibal nbc #anti johnlock #Anti Adlock #Anti Sherlolly #hannigram #Putting the anti tags here only to clarify it's not a pro shipping post. I don't hate the ships! I'm just not interested in them. #Hannibal series

[the-words-we-sung]

First impressions after watching season 3

So after being super patient all day yesterday, I finally managed to get back home and binge watch season 3 last night \o/ I'm just gonna put a few of my first thoughts here for now, I'm gonna need to rewatch everything to have more detailed and coherent thoughts 😁 But first of all, I wanna thanks Amber 💜 (@amailboxlemur) for being the best spectator and companion to my live reactions 😂 It was super duper nice to be able to share these with you while I was watching and going through all the emotions 😱 So I liked the season!! It was a lot a lot but I really enjoyed it!! It made me cry, it made me laugh, it made me blush... All the rainbow emotions 💜

Here is my reaction at the end of episode 5, and I think it sums up pretty well my feeling at that moment :p

So a few randoms comments (I will write more about each episode after rewatching them, which I intend to start doing tonight because I neeeeeed to watch it all again):

[It's not spoiler-free so don't read if you haven't watched the season yet!!]

⁂ Simon was incredibly sad this season and it broke my heart. Seeing him cry just made me cry. He was so lost and broken, I really can't wait for the last episode to see him get better (yes I'm an eternally optimist person so I believe he will be happier!!)

⁂ I wasn't expecting the Micke/Sara storyline but I think I liked it! It gave us a new perspective into the Eriksson family dynamic and I felt so so bad for Sara at the end

⁂ I loved to see Simon being truly angry at his sister!! Baby boy is so used to being nice and forgiving, so it was really refreshing to see him actually be mad and stand his ground about it!!

⁂ Wilhelm Wilhelm Wilhelm. My poor boy is a mess! He was so hopeful at the beginning, thinking he could finally have it all, but yeah it was obviously not gonna be smooth sailing. He's such a messy, broken, angry teenager this season and my heart cries for him. He ends up hurting Simon quite a lot but I cannot be truly mad at him. He's a broken boy trying his best :(

⁂ Which leads me to his family: arghhhhhh. So I was hoping that we would get some more info to understand Kristina at least a little bit, but she's just truly awful this season. And the Duke is not better. I hate them for how they behave with Wilhelm. And on a more personal note: I always saw my own mother in Kristina, but this season it's even more flagrant, and gosh does it make me mad for Wilhelm. His lashing out at them at the end of episode 5 was as painful as it was good to see. I've been in his situation. I've yelled like him too many times to count. So I hurt for him. He deserves so much better. Nobody should have these kind of people as parents :(

⁂ The Erik stuff made me so sad!!

⁂ The whole school situation was a bit frustrating at time but it was interesting to see the characters reacting to it all. Felice is a queen and deserves so much better than her "friends". And Vincent can rot in hell 😠

⁂ They're all incredible actors!! And the show is beautiful as usual. I am slightly disappointed with the music (no song captured me as well as the ones in season 1 and 2, but maybe I just need to watch the episodes a few times for that to happen ^^)

⁂ All the cute scenes between Wilhelm and Simon were just the best. Seeing them be silly boyfriends was the best. And yeah, the chemistry is still chemistrying hard between Edvin and Omar :p

I'm gonna stop my list of first reactions there, but I'll continue in more details episode by episode! Overall I think I like this season, though the ending killed me and the week to come is gonna be the longest week ever ^^' I am not really worried about the last episode. I trust the show. I do believe Wilmon will be endgame. And I think not everything will be wrapped up neatly but I do think the ending will be satisfying. So can't wait \o/

#young royals #wilmon #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #yr season 3 #my first reactions #amailboxlemur #I'm so glad I was able to not watch it completely alone #and to be able to freak out with a few people #because it was a lot of screaming and a lot of emotions #let me tell you xD #I really loved watching it all unfold #and I went in spoiler free #so I wasn't prepared for anything xD #my analysis #I feel so much for Wilhelm #and for Simon #they were both so unwell #Wilhelm is so broken #and Simon so sad #I wanna hug them so bad

[br1ghtestlight]

character ask game: Regular Sized Rudy!

first impression: my memory is soo bad idk if i'll be able to remember my first impression for ANY character lol but im assuming one of the earliest episodes i watched him in was the carpe museum episode. i definitely never disliked him bcuz i remember first binging the series in proper order and being like wtf when is regular sized rudy gonna show up :/ i had seen him in episodes i was rewatching out of order previously so i knew he was coming up. probably one of my favorite characters from the start he's such a sweetie

impression now: LOVE HIM!!! easily one of my favorite side characters and im always happy to see him in an episode. he definitely has the most natural relationship w/ the belcher kids out of all their friends and classmates he's just such a good character. he's not particularly complicated or controversial he's just a Fun guy <3 (and yes when im rewatching pre-rudy episodes i do dearly miss him. where is my boy. he doesn't need to be in every episode but i need his existence to be a possibility friendship-wise for louise. THE SLEEPOVER EPISODE IF LOUISE WAS ALLOWED TO INVITE RUDY AND HER OTHER GUY FRIENDS--)

favorite moment: the ending of the amazing rudy was very sweet :) also his little commentary on louise's presentation in amelia

idea for a story: for roudise week i was working on an au story where rudy died when he was in kindergarten from a severe asthma attack (pre-diagnosis so they didnt have an inhaler for him) and now he's a ghost haunting louise in her day to day life despite not Knowing why he's haunting her (he's like.... drawn to her subconciously?) and nobody believes her that he actually exists except tina and gene. it was mostly a goofy story about them playing pranks and being friends but there is a sad undertone of this life that he never even got to live and this person he never got to be friends with when he was alive, even though he's haunting her now. i would love to finish it someday lol

unpopular opinion: is it unpopular to say i don't think he has a crush on louise?? i think she definitely has feelings for HIM and when he gets older he'll develop a crush on louise too but at their current ages it feels very one-sided bcuz rudy is a slightly immature nine year old boy. it's always funny when people make rudy have an unrequited crush on louise (or that he thinks it's unrequited) because in canon its the exact opposite

favorite relationship: louise is the most obvious answer but i also really enjoy his dynamic w/ zeke and gene. his older brothers :)

favorite headcanon: i like the idea that when he's a bit older he'll get a younger half-sister and ask louise and siblings for advice because he's been an only child his whole life and he REALLY really doesn't know what to do with this new baby. he wants to be a good big brother but it's hard :(

#ask #bob's burgers