Stray Kids | S/O is sore the morning after their first time (gender neutral)
reaction | hyung line
genre ➸ romance
disclaimer ➸ This is a work of fiction. I don't own any famous character(s) - like idols - and my writings are in no way meant to show these people’s real nature and/or offend them in any way.
Request: Skz Hyung line reaction when their s/o is sore the morning after their first time? (Suggestive smut) (gender neutral) 🙏🏻✨
When you wake up, you realize that something is wrong. Every movement hurt and your first urge was to get up, but you realize as you sit down that it didn't get any better. But because of your restless movements, Chan woke up. He slept on his stomach with his head turned to your side. When he opens his eyes, he smiles gently at you.
"Good Morning." His voice was clear, but still calm.
"Hey," you say, but you sounded a little pained with pain. It was immediately apparent to Chan that something was wrong and he immediately sat up.
"Is everything okay? Do you regret it?" You had your first time last night and Chan was afraid he'd forced you to do something you didn't want. He wanted you, but he didn't want to overstep your limits. Did he push you to do something you didn't want? You immediately recognized his concern and you shake your head.
"No, I have no regrets," you say softly and give him a gentle kiss.
"But is there something?" You can’t lie to him.
"Well ..." You start, but you were shy. You didn't want to burden him with your problems and in the worst case scenario he would feel bad too.
"Come on tell me. You don't have to be uncomfortable." Clearly, Chan couldn't be fooled.
"Well it feels sore here ... so down here." You point down at yourself and press your lips together.
"Oh ...", Chan said and his eyes suddenly widened. And for a moment it became quiet between you. It was a little uncomfortable, but then Chan got up and got dressed.
"Okay okay. You stay here and don't move. I'll go quickly and buy us breakfast." He packed panicked his things and looked for his wallet.
"It's really okay, don't stress yourself." You try to calm him down, but he wasn't dissuaded.
"No, I'll do everything for you today. I'm so sorry." Chan then kissed you and ran off.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch ..." You stumble back from the toilet and go back to bed. Minho was watching you with a big but evil grin.
"Don't laugh like that, it's all your fault." You lie down next to him with a sigh and still feel the burning in your lower area.
"But it was worth it, wasn't it?" He keeps grinning at you and you roll your eyes.
"Let's see how long I'll be sore." You sigh and snuggle up in the covers again.
"Sorry, I can't help it that he's so big." He winked and turned over to you. You roll your eyes, but you know that Minho wanted that confirmed.
"Hmm right, I should find someone with a smaller dick." Now it was you who grinned and Minho looked at you with raised eyebrows. But then he smiled too and kisses the tip of your nose.
"You will get used to him and then you will not want anything else," he whispered in your ear and you immediately get goosebumps. You look into his dark eyes and you miss the words.
"But before that I can still be very gentle with you." His head bowed and his lips touched your neck, then your collarbone. His hands wandered over your body and you can feel your breath getting louder and louder. And Minho was just gentle ... very gentle.
"That was nice," whispered Changbin and starts playing with your fingers. He kissed every single one of your fingertips and he smiled gently. You smile too but couldn't answer anything.Your naked bodies were lying against each other and you liked that afterglow, but the sex had left you with after-effects on your body too.
"Are you okay?" He asked and immediately noticed that something was wrong. You nod with pressed lips, but in reality you couldn't fool him.
"What's going on?" He asked further and his look was suddenly so full of worry. Changbin could seem so tough and hard at times, but he was so soft with you here.
"I'm just a little bit sore down there. It's not that bad." You smile and want to convince him that everything is fine. But Changbin immediately feels bad.
"What? Did I hurt you?" He leaned over you and examined your whole body.
"No, everything is really okay." You run his hair and look him in the eye. And the next moment he became calm too. His hustle and bustle disappeared and his pulse calmed down.
"Really?" His dark pupils found themselves in your eyes and he looked like a small dog to you at the moment.
"Yeah really. It's just so new to me. I have to get used to you." You wink and laughingly give him a kiss.
"I'll be more careful next time," he promised you and snuggled up to you again.
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𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 — their s/o is timid
chan ; channie is unbelievably sweet. he just wants you to feel uncomfortable and not overwhelmed in any way. in this, he’s definitely the type to hold onto your hand every time you go out together, or let you stand a little behind him just for the feeling of extra protection he brings. honestly, chan is such a protective guy, he’d do everything in his power to make sure you were okay :( he’s also the type to lean down if he ever thought you were overwhelmed and ask if you were alright, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze.
minho ; minho is more subtle for how he cares for you. he’s more about shooting you looks and raising his eyebrows to check on you, or keeping his arm wrapped loosely around your shoulders; standing close enough to you for you to know he’s there if you need him. he doesn’t want to suffocate you, but he knows how quiet and shy you can get and he wants you to feel safe with him.
changbin ; changbin is the sweetest boy in the whole world :( there’s just something about his aura, maybe it’s the way he talks, the way he carries himself, the way he’s so good at reading you; he always knows how to make you comfortable. he’s the type to constantly have an arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you impossibly close into his side; he’s the type to keep your hand in his, his grip tight enough to make you feel anchored; he’s the type to introduce you into the conversation and help you feel at ease with the people you’re around. overall, changbin is the best boy out there <3
hyunjin ; hyunjin isn’t the most outgoing himself, i think he’d have some trouble taking the lead at first, at least socially, but he’d get the hang of it fairly quickly. he likes being someone you can depend on and he absolutely loves that you feel safe with him. he’d always be around if you needed him and he’d always be there to protect you. he seems like he’d be very verbal with it too. “don’t worry, baby, i got you.”
jisung ; i don’t think that jisung is naturally very outgoing and able to talk to people he doesn’t know well unless he has people he knows already with him. with that being said, he really would try his hardest :( he’s so sweet and he really does the best he can to help you feel comfortable, but it would more turn into both of you being awkward and quiet and sticking to each other in public.
felix ; felix just cares so much about you :( he’s the type to do all the talking for you if you want him to, or, on the other hand, he’ll make an active effort to include you in the conversation. he’s so loving and sweet, he’d definitely check up on you throughout the time that you’re out, grabbing your hand or shooting you that pretty smile of his every time he notices you getting more quiet than usual. he’s just so, so good at making you feel at ease <3
seungmin ; seungmin strikes me as the naturally dominant type. he’d have no problem taking the lead for you in social situations; doing the talking for you if you don’t feel up to it and standing close to you so you know he’s nearby. he’d think you were cute with how shy you got around people and he’d think the way you grabbed onto him was adorable :(
jeongin ; jeongin really loves that you feel safe enough with him to depend on him. being the youngest, his members usually coddle him and do everything for him and treat like, well... the youngest. with you, he feels like he can finally come into his own, he likes that you look to him for help, for safety, for some kind of cushion between you and the world. and he likes keeping you safe too; he’s just so happy you’re comfy with him :(
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Genre: enemies to lovers, angst, school, slight mafia,
Warnings: cursing, violence, blood
"Move," Y/N grits out through her teeth, eyes hard and focused straight ahead of her. She doesn't so much as glance at the taller boys blocking her path, doesn't look up at the smirking man that makes her want to rip his brains out followed by her own. "I'm late."
"Awh, well that's just too bad, kitten," Chan drawls, his hand pressed up against the lockers and stopping Y/N from moving. He leans down, breathing down her neck with a lazy smile. "You can stay with us instead."
Finally looking up at him, Y/N regards him with an expression of disgust. Him and his friends quite frankly look like a bubble of penguins, their all black clothing and ridiculous suit atire making her skin crawl. She doesn't know who they think they are, walking around the school as if they own everything.
Her eyes flit over Chan, his icy blonde hair slicked up and away from his face, one lock curving over his forhead. She wants to rip the bothersome hair off of his head and slap him, and her hands curl into fists by her side as Chan regards her with his dark glare.
"I'd rather put my left kidney on Ebay for sale," Y/N rolls her eyes, looking defeated before she narrows her eyes and in a split second she draws her knee back and kicks her leg out, smacking Chan straight in the groin.
Chan growls, doubling over in pain just as Y/N rushes away from the group, trying to escape. But she's not quick enough, a hand fisting into her jacket and pulling her back.
"Oh I don't think so kitten," Chan grunts, his arm around her waist, the strength of his movement knocking the oyxgen from her lungs. "I'm not finished with you yet."
"Fucking let go of me," Y/N snarls, kicking out with her arms and her legs. Her hand comes into contact with Chan’s cheek with a loud slap, causing Chan’s head to snap to the side, red blooming across his skin.
Fuck, Y/N thinks as Chan spits blood, his eyes darkening as he slowly turns back to stare at the frozen girl in his grip.
"You're going to fucking pay for that," Chan snarls, blood dripping from his lips. "You little brat."
At that, Y/N sticks her tongue out at him. "I'm broke, bestie."
A slight chuckle from behind Chan makes Chan turn around with a glare and Minho smirks at him, hands shoved in his pockets.
"She got you there," Minho comments, and Chan tuts before turning back around again.
"Do you even know who you're talking to?" Chan hisses, fingers tight on the collar of Y/N's jacket. "If you had any idea you'd - "
"Kick you even harder?" Y/N offers helpfully, resulting in Chan banging her into the lockers, hard.
With a small gasp, Y/N's eyes roll to the back of her head and her knees buckle as she begins to fall.
Cursing under his breath, Chan awkwardly catches the limp girl in his arm and stops her from hitting the floor. He looks down at her slack face and sighs, one hand going to run through his hair impatiently.
"Was that ... supposed to happen?" Jeongin asks from his side, frowning.
"Do I look like a killer to you?" Chan snaps, turning his bloody face to his brothers. They regard him with silence and Chan sighs again, rolling his eyes.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Chan ignores Changbin and he barges into his house, brushing past Changbin as he carries Y/N in his arms. She's still passed out, and her head is cradled against the man's chest.
"Chan, why did you bring her here? You can't just bring anyone in here, you know that," Changbin goes on, grabbing his brother by his arm.
Chan shuts his eyes, and takes a deep breath. "Are you blind or can't you tell she's completely knocked the fuck out?"
"She's not our problem - "
"She's my fucking problem!" Chan yells, gripping onto Y/N. "I knocked her out. I need to make sure she's okay."
Changbin stares at Chan, his shoulders slumping. "You're the son of a Mafia leader. You shouldn't be doing reckless shit like this."
Chan stops at the bottom of the stairs, not looking back at his brother. "What should I be doing then? Blowing innocent families up? I don't fucking think so, Bin."
He's about to walk up the stairs when Changbin calls out to him again.
"Do you love her?"
Chan blinks. He looks down at Y/N's peaceful face, her lashes soft against her cheeks. Swallowing, Chan stomps up the stairs, ignoring her brother.
Once he's reached the door of his bedroom, Chan pushes it aside and walks across the large spanse of room before reaching his huge king sized bed, the sheets dark over the mattress. Pushing back the duvet, Chan lays Y/N down gently, making sure he's comfortable before he sits down in the chair at his desk.
Letting out a huge sigh, Chan grips the back of his neck as he bows his head, shutting his eyes. His heart is pounding like crazy and he's sure that it has nothing to do with the speed at which he brought Y/N home.
Spinning around in his chair, Chan rests his head against the back and watches the unconscious girl. Suddenly paranoid, he gets up and heads to his wardrobe where he pulls out a thick blanket, before walking over to the bed.
Gently, Chan drapes the material over Y/N, his hands smoothing over the creases. Almost with kinds of their own, his fingers trace the side of her face slowly and thread through her hair. His thumb caresses her cheek before he stands up and slaps himself, his cheeks red.
Biting his lip, Chan walks towards his bedroom door. Just as he's about to leave, he can't help but throw another anxious glance over his shoulder, his eyes softening when he takes in her sleeping posture.
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"No, It's Okay"
Paring~ Hyunjin X FemReader
Genre~ Mature content ( !8 XXX), Angst, Fluff at the end...
A/N~ *Requested* Hope you like it!
After almost three and a half months, being together with Hyunjin there was this space you two couldn't fill up. Having that thought in mind your day wasn't going so well, mainly because it kept bugging you again and again. The boys decided to invite all their girls for a two day stay at a Hotel which of Corse you were invited too. They had booked rooms for each couple. You were always insecure when the other girls were around, cause it made you feel like you were so far from what they were. Anyhow thinking you couldn't refuse the invitation you got up and changed. You put on a light makeup but painted your lips a darker shade of wine red with a hint of dark brown. Lastly added a thin and slightly winged eyeliner on your lid and headed out the door.
When you entered the Hotel you met Chan's girl who waved at you from far. As you made your way you couldn't stop adoring her beautiful figure and face. "Hiiii! Chan told me they are almost here, so don't worry your man's going to be here soon!" she said sarcastically. You nodded your head and smiled as a response. Chan's girl was the only one who was the most closest to you because she was so open and talked openly which you were more comfortable with. The other's were kind as well but the wall of insecurity always blocked a special bond. When they all entered the hall you two were waiting inside, your body shivered head to toe. Seeing those amazing people made you feel so small and different. With all those thoughts you didn't realize Hyunjin was right in front of you. "Are you out of your world now baby?" he says giving a gorgeous smile. " oh umm sorry... and Hello mister! you look very handsome today!" you say getting back to your senses. " talking about that, your looking beautiful today and those lips mmm" he says leaning in to peck it, but before he does he looks at your eyes with utter most love and looks back at your lips as permission to peck it because he feels bad to ruin your lipstick. You lean forward and peck his plump lips your matt lipstick being your only exception. As your lips touched his all the thoughts from the morning were coming back again.
You pulled back breaking the kiss which left him confused "Hey I think we should go now" you say as all of you made your way to the dining hall. There were two tables so all of you decided that the guys and girls should separate just for dinner. You made your way to the table and took a seat, and so did the others. "okay listen lets talk about the things we would never tell our boyfriends!" Han's girl says with wide eyes full of excitement. The youngest speaks first “ do y’all ever get annoyed when he can’t take off your shoe when you’re in the mood for lovely hour session I mean Jeongin is so slow!”
“Yesssssss! and I hate it when Changbin forgets his condoms at home when I’m not on the pill!” Changbin’s girl whispers coming closer so that it won’t be overheard. The conversation wasn’t relatable to you obviously cause you never experienced that shit at all, despite that fact you wanted to. The topic got more and more intense as the girls were speaking like secret agents of some sort of shit. “Y/n eonnie! How is Hyunjin in bed?” Jeongin’s girl asks. Knowing that you had no answer for that question this big wave of anxiety hits you. “ oh uhh umm—” “ girls we got to go now! unless you want to sleep here” Hyunjin cuts you off..
Hyunjin and you decided to walk out for a while. “ how was your table? You looked sad today baby” he says. “ no it’s just you know—” “what?” He says lacing his fingers with yours as you two walk side by side. “I don’t know don’t you think we’re not close as we are supposed to be like physically you know…..” you say. He wrapped his arms around your waist and his beautiful eyes met yours. “You mean this?” He says as he gives you the sweetest kiss which gave you butterflies every time. You pulled out “ noooo babyyyyy not this!!!! Forget it” you say annoyed at him. “ fine tell me when we get to our room then!” He says as both of you walked to your room. You entered the room, and suddenly fell in in love with the beautiful city light visible from the long windows across you.
“Babe now tell me… what do you want!” He says stopping you. “Forget It I—” you were cut of by his lips, they pressed against you harder this time making you gasp. The space in your lips helped him slip his tongue inside your mouth tasting you ever so greatly. He walked towards the bed without letting your lips part, you feel the beds mattress clash with your back as Hyunjin towered you. He pulls out showing his swollen lips to meet your eyes. He doesn’t hesitate to quickly give pecks on your jaw moving his way down to you neck.
“Shit babe..” you let out as you stretch out your neck for him to have. Nibbles and plays with your neck leaving purple marks all over but replaces it with soft pecks. He makes his way down to your collar bone and looks up for your permission to go further. You take of your first button of your silk shirt and he stops your hands putting it away to he continue what you started. He kisses your chest and his lips touch the lace that was covering your Breasts, he makes his way to your back to unclasp your bra and takes the thin fabric off you. The way his eyes sparkle seeing you half bare makes you blush. His hands touch your delicate skin and his tongue follows. He un zips your pants and places his hands on the button to take it off. You stop him feeling insecure about it. “ hey don’t do it if—” you stopped to speak as he gave a last kiss to your lower belly unbuttoning your jeans as he pulled it out. Leaving you bare with a piece of fabric covering your wet cunt.
He plays with the fabric, he comes back up to pepper your face with kisses as he slowly removes the fabric. Breaking the kiss you focus on his shirt now unbuttoning it until he did the very last one and took his shirt off leaving his bare top in front of you. Made his way down and kissed your thighs getting closer to your cunt. He pecked the top of you clit and licked softly over it making you moan softly. How is he even doing this shit! You thought. Your orgasm slowly building up with every stroke of his tongue on your wet heat. He pressed a digit into your core as he speeds the pace he puts another one in. Damn this guy and his long fingers almost takes you to paradise. He pulls out as your orgasm gushed out and he laps ever but of it. He comes back up kissing you passionately making you taste yourself, “ Thank you baby…” you mumble with a shaky voice between kisses. He breaks the kiss and you unbuckle his belt when you're down to his zipper he stops you “ hey baby I don’t have a condom” he says breathless. “I’m on the pill” you unzip quickly and pull his pants down he helps taking out the erecting member and there right there!! He is all bare for you to enjoy every bit. He directed his tip to your opening but pause before to peck you as he pushed into you still tight core. As his member got fully inside you he stopped to say “ sorry I know it hurts but—” “No, it’s okay” you say as you squeezed your eyes shut. He started a slow pace, your pain was taken over by the pleasure. He rested his head on the crook of your neck and fastened the pace. Soft groans leaving his mouth as you were moaning right above him. Your high hits and you squeeze his biceps letting him know your coming. As you come all over him, with a last push he gushed inside you.
Both of your heated bodies were together the space between you was now complete. His head on your neck's crook moved to give you short sweet pecks making his way up he covered your face with the same kisses and lastly ending on your lips. He pulls out of your core and stands up to clean himself. He comes out of the bathroom with grey joggers, "do you want to stay like that or should I clean you up?" he says looking at your red core with his cum oozing out. You cover your face exhausted, he took that as a yes and brought a pack of baby wipes he had in his bag from dance practice. After he cleaned you, you got up and kissed him "thank you...I got to go pee now " you spoke and he smiled with satisfaction.
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𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲?
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Pairing: Lee Minho x gn!Reader
Word count: ~800
Summary: Minho falls asleep in your lap. You decide to capture the moment.
A/N: i am way too tired to proofread there's probably some mistakes here and there lol
Quiet nights like this are your favorite thing in the entire world. Minho and you had curled up on the couch after finishing dinner, putting on the first cheesy rom com you could find and laughing to each other, teasing the characters when they did something stupid.
That had been a few hours ago, and now you sit leaned against the back of the couch, your boyfriend dozing with his head resting on your thigh. You smile down at him as he rolls over slightly, giving you a better view of his face.
He looks so peaceful when he’s asleep - when he’s awake, there’s always a grin or a frown or some other expression of the sort stretched across his face. Now, however, there’s simply a look of serenity as he snores quietly, the sound filling your otherwise silent living room.
Unable to help yourself, you bring a hand down and gently card your fingers through his hair, your cheeks warming as he smiles softly in his sleep. Your heart does somersaults in your chest as you look down at him.
Grinning slightly, you carefully reach over to the coffee table next to you and grab your sketchbook and pencil. Flipping to the first blank page, you take a quick glance at Minho before you begin sketching.
You start with his jawline, slowly making your way around in careful strokes, lighter than usual so the scratching of the pencil doesn’t wake him up. Small, wide U’s form his closed eyes, long eyelashes brushing against his sharp cheekbones, and you take particular care with his nose, making sure to get it just right. Next is his hair, slightly tousled from tossing and turning, with a slight wave to it from the product the stylist had put in it at a shoot he had earlier that day.
Finished, you take in your sketch. It looks a little bit rough because of the awkward position you had to draw it from to avoid waking Minho (forearms stretched over to the arm of the couch, sketchbook balanced between the sofa and your knee), but it’s him nonetheless. Happy with it, you smile, placing your pencil on the page and closing it to mark your spot. You set the sketchpad down on the table, cringing as it makes a noise a bit too loud.
You glance back down at your boyfriend, to find him staring back. You gasp slightly, startled. A grin stretches across his face.
“Am I really that handsome?” he teases, and you chuckle, running a finger along his nose and then resting your hand casually on his chest.
“You startled me,” you say. “I thought you were asleep. I’m sorry If I woke you up.”
“‘S okay,” he mumbles, words slurred with sleep. “What time is it?”
You glance at your phone, tapping the screen to wake it up. “10:19. We should probably go to bed soon, I have to go to work early tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he hums, shutting his eyes again for a moment before sitting up, swinging his legs around to rest on the floor.
“I’m gonna go wash my face and get ready for bed,” you say, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek before standing up and heading to the bathroom.
Minho watches you with a small smile. He stands up slowly, stretching his back as he does so. The loud pop that comes from his joints reminds him that he needs to go to the chiropractor sometime this week. He starts to head to your shared bedroom, before realizing you left your sketchbook on the table. He picks it up, taking it to your room with him.
He tries to set it on the desk, but his sleep-fuddle brain messes up his depth perception, and he drops the book. It falls open, and your favorite pencil rolls across the room. Grumbling nonsense, he bends down, picking it up. He falters, looking at the drawing on the page it had opened to.
A smile spreads across his face as he realizes what it is.
Hearing the bathroom door open from the other end of the apartment, he picks up your pencil, marks the page, and places the now closed sketchbook on the desk before heading to the closet to find some pjs.
You enter the bedroom, yawning quietly as you make your way to the bed, placing your phone on your nightstand. You hear shuffling behind you, and then a pair of strong arms circle your waist.
“Hi,” you laugh, turning around so you’re face to face with your boyfriend.
“I love you,” he says, and you feel your face warm as he leans in, lips connecting with yours briefly. As he pulls back, you study his face, slightly confused.
“What was that for?” you ask, beaming. He matches your expression, tilting his head to the side in thought before smiling warmly.
“Just wanted to.”
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Written in the Stars
Synopsis: Tonight you find out the reason for your recurring dreams and the mysterious man who keeps who appearing in them. College AU and Goryeo Dynasty AU in a Reincarnation AU trench coat. Historical accuracy not guaranteed.
Word Count: 5.8k
Pairing: fem!reader x Seo Changbin; friends!TWICE
You don’t think you have seen this many stars at night before. The great fabric of the sky has dozens of needle pricks of light, some woven with thread to create constellations, others shining unabashedly alone. They are all so bright. Perhaps too bright for your liking. Out of fear that you will be seen, you hide your face with your sleeve, running and ducking through the palace grounds. The hanging lanterns outside the buildings glow steadily as they watch you sneak to the bath.
The guards don’t know about the secret exit behind the bathing pool. You wouldn’t have known about it yourself until that fateful day when you followed a baby squirrel through the small tunnel and found yourself on the other side of the high stone walls. Now you squeeze through the same tunnel, nearly tripping on a loose rock when you hear a wolf howl. There was a hunt today; why is there still one around?
You step into the small patch of forest. Weaving through the trees and making your way to the vast field bordering the neighboring kingdom is simple. After all, you have done it countless times and during moonless nights as well. The difficult part is finding your beloved hiding among the tall grasses. He likes to lie on the ground like a snake, attacking your ankles with an outstretched hand and pulling you to him. It is a game you don’t typically don’t mind playing, but tonight is different.
Yet it is not. After only twenty paces, you feel yourself falling and then being caught by a pair of strong arms. You land on his chest. You toss your hair back like a horse to its mane, making him laugh, and stare down at him.
He smiles at you, the curve of his mouth reminiscent of the crescent moon. “I win.”
“I let you win.”
“Princesses shouldn’t lie.”
“And princes should be courteous and let the princesses win.” You thumb his cheekbone. The stars shimmer in his eyes, or perhaps those are tears. You were fools to think that something like this would last. Young, dumb, and too deeply in love to see the truth. “You’re a scoundrel.”
“If I were, things would have been different.” His words hang over you, clouding your head with the thoughts of what it could have been. He wouldn’t have to marry for politics. You wouldn’t have to marry for politics. It is only just so that he is to be wedded first, to the daughter of a noble family with plentiful rice fields. A favorite of the court, you heard. It is only just so that you are the daughter of an enemy kingdom. A marriage alliance wouldn’t be enough to erase the decades of history and bloodshed.
“The astronomer promised me an undying love,” you whisper. “He said that my star was always moving toward another one and that other star was moving towards mine.”
“Do you believe him?”
“Only if it’s about you.”
He smiles again before laying his head on the ground, looking to the sky above. “My kingdom’s astronomer said that I would be the greatest king alive and end the war. He also said that my star was rising higher and higher, shining brighter and brighter.”
You ask him the same question he asked.
“I hope my star is going to you,” he whispers. He holds you tighter, his fingers grasping the linen tie around your waist. “I don’t care about being the greatest king. I only want you. Why were we fated like this?”
“Only the heavens know.”
“Promise me you’ll wait for me.” He brings his hand to your face, brushing the unruly tendrils from your forehead. His fingers are rough from years of holding reins and swords, but his touch is gentle. “Even if it takes a thousand years, I will find you again.”
Then he kisses you like the stars are going to go out.
You wake up gasping like you have just been thoroughly kissed, your lips throbbing with a pulsing heat. This is the seventh time you’ve had this particular dream but the first time that he has kissed you. The previous six times you have woken up before. You still don’t know his name or remember his face, but there is something about this dream man that you conjured up that is so deeply familiar.
For the past month, you’ve been having the same sequence of dreams so tightly woven, you would almost believe that they were actual events of your life. You are there, dressed in lavish silk robes and silver hairpins, walking across stone courtyards surrounded by wooden structures, being served tea by a quiet servant. There are rituals for rain and parties for birthdays. There is a king and a queen, and a prince that you cannot have. Even the minute details are not easily forgotten — the grainy texture of the parchment you used to copy poems, the smell of the moonlit river, the intricate embroidered fish on ceremonial robes. Never have your dreams been so vivid, so painted with the life of imaginary strangers.
A series of knocks — Mina always does seven, whether she knows it or not — snaps you out of your haze. “Are you up yet? We’re leaving in an hour.”
“I’m up,” you say, pulling your covers off but still lying in bed.
“One hour, okay? If we get stuck in traffic and show up late, Nayeon’s going to be mad.”
You hear Mina leave. When you peek behind your window curtains, the sun is setting, streaking yellow and orange across the sky. It was early afternoon when you decided to take a nap. You sigh and stumble to your closet. The mirror on the sliding door reveals that your dark circles are still present and that your lips are a little swollen, probably from your recovering sunburn. Not necessarily a bad thing, the swollen lips, but mildly confusing after your dream.
You take the pink dress off its hanger and absentmindedly undress and dress yourself. Nayeon’s birthday dinner is at some new restaurant that you know is going to be expensive just because of its pretentious name. Well, she’s paying for everything, so you don’t mind that part, but you know that you will be perching on the fancy chairs and contemplating whether you should text your astronomy lab partner to pick you up early.
That’s the fun thing about tonight: you have a friend’s birthday party to attend and a presentation at the local observatory to go to if you want extra credit. With midterms around the corner, you are pretty much obligated to go. Thank goodness Changbin is willing to drive you from the restaurant to the observatory. Nayeon, who knows about your packed schedule tonight and fancies herself a matchmaker, thinks that Changbin has a crush on you. Mina, who has observed you coming home from your lab with a smile too happy for 11 PM, thinks that it’s the other way around. And you are the only one who thinks that a relationship with your lab partner is a conflict of interest when the semester is not even halfway finished.
You finish your hair and makeup in the bathroom, listening to the city pop songs Mina is playing from her room. You hear her hum along, pausing when she forgets the melody. Changbin prefers rap. He likes to show off sometimes too, turning up the radio volume and rapping along for his audience of one. When you offhandedly mentioned this to your friends, you had to explain how you ended up in Changbin’s car in the first place.
(Pizza, the answer is pizza. You were hungry, he was hungry, and the good pizza place was still open. Sorry to disappoint you, conniving friends.)
The hour is finally up, and you throw in all of your necessities in a purse that vaguely complements your dress. Nayeon’s birthday present, a dainty silver necklace with butterfly charm, is tucked safely away inside as well. Mina is driving, so she leaves her heels with you in the passenger seat and pulls out of the parking space with practiced skill. You’re initially in charge of navigation, but Mina takes that job away from you when you begin to doze off.
“Are you feeling okay? You’ve been really sleepy lately.”
“It’s my lab.” And those weird dreams. They’re exhausting to have, like your brain spent all of its energy forging that perfect world instead of resting.
“You can take a twenty minute nap. I’ll wake you up when we’re almost there.”
You’re asleep before she can even finish her sentence.
You hear the news of an enemy kingdom’s marriage during a meal with your father, the king. It is a delicious meal of pork and fresh vegetables, but the food tastes like stone, no matter how many new pieces you try. Your father discusses the details of the wedding ceremony in a controlled rage, scoffing at the prince’s blue robes and the bride’s crimson one. Not a single butterfly on the bride’s wedding overcoat, he laughed.
“They say that they uphold tradition, but they forget one of the most common symbols of longevity. For a royal marriage too! They are doomed.”
You only nod as the rest of his words become cicada chirps to your ears. With the most placid face you can muster, you wave over a servant for a drink. You watch as she pours chrysanthemum tea, her hands shaking as she holds the cup out to you. She must be one of the new girls; you don’t remember seeing her face around.
You reach for the cup, your fingers curling around the middle. Her hands tremble when you lift the cup, and yours do as well.
“Princess, it is time for you to get married as well.”
The cup shatters onto the stone ground, tea splattering onto your yellow skirt.
As promised, Mina wakes you up, though she likely didn’t need to when you jolt awake from the sound of breaking ceramic. You breathe heavily, holding onto your heart with shaking hands as you check to ensure that the floor of Mina’s car isn’t stained with tea. Her shoes are still immaculate, and your own heels are clean too. Mina is too busy trying to find a parking spot to notice how distraught you are.
This is the third time you have had this dream. It always ends with the cup being dropped, but the sound of it is so clear this time. It echoes, it rings, it ricochets. The initial impact is the loudest, earth against earth, and then comes the deafening silence as everyone takes in the accident.
You whisper a swear and lean back into your seat. The sky is getting darker now, the moon glowing brighter against the sky. Only a smattering of stars are present, but you don’t doubt that there will be more.
After Mina parks the car and switches her shoes, the two of you walk into the restaurant, up a flight of stairs to the private room on the second floor. Full-length windows cover the walls, and you watch your reflection follow Mina down the scarlet carpet. The restaurant is on a hill, so you can see the city below, street lights and illuminated windows shining like little beacons, like faraway stars. Your throat suddenly goes dry.
“Happy birthday!” Mina says, and you realize that you’ve arrived at Nayeon’s party. Nayeon, with a pale blue sash and a silver tiara, is at the head of the table, a row of matching silver balloons floating above her. The also-matching silverware on the white tablecloth glints underneath the lights, and the sparkling glasses look like they might break with a single touch. You might text Changbin to pick you up a little earlier.
“Happy birthday!” you repeat. Nayeon pats the two seats near her, and you sit at her left while Mina sits at her right. You and Mina are the first ones to arrive, so you get the privilege of sitting next to the queen of the night. You take out her present and leave it at her elbow. “Happy, happy birthday.”
She smiles and gives you a one-armed hug. “Thanks. You’re the sweetest, like cotton candy.”
“Mina’s right next to you,” you point out, smoothing out the cotton candy pink pleats of your dress.
“You’re the mintiest,” Nayeon says to her, which makes her laugh. “Just like your dress. You two look so pretty tonight! I’m going to make you guys take so many pictures and…”
The rest of the guests start arriving, and the real party begins. By the time your salmon entreé has come, you’re drunk on laughter and high on the apple-and-brie appetizer pies. Jihyo brings up the time Nayeon got splashed by a passing car, and Jeongyeon talks about her getting sick after eating four slices of pizza.
“While we’re talking about pizza,” Nayeon says as she flashes you a smirk, which makes you grimace, “are you sure there’s nothing between you and Changbin? He’s picking you up tonight out of the goodness of his heart and not because he likes you?”
You sip on your ice water, the chill suddenly reminding you of the first frost and a festival. The sweet tang of honey fills your mouth. You take another sip, and the taste is gone. “He’s my lab partner, so yes.”
“Can’t you just admit you like him? You guys learn about stars under the stars. That’s, like, the most romantic thing ever.”
“If you think that’s the most romantic thing ever, you need to start dating more,” Momo laughs, and you are saved from Nayeon’s teasing until your phone buzzes with a text.
She leans over, nearly knocking over your needlessly fancy champagne glass. “Is that Changbin?”
It is. He’s waiting outside in the parking lot, and he sends you his location so you know exactly where he is. You didn’t realize that it was time for you to leave already. The cake, all three of its decadent chocolate tiers, hasn’t even been cut yet.
“I gotta go,” you apologetically tell Nayeon. “Eat a slice of cake for me.”
A hug from Nayeon and a chorus of goodbyes later, you’re walking down the hallway with the giant windows. It’s nighttime now, and your reflection is now solid instead of a ghostly outline. You walk on top of the buildings, your heel puncturing the lit-up windows, your hair tangled with the stars. The university you attend and the town it’s situated in is located in a more secluded part of the country, meaning that the stars are visible at night. The memory of the dream kiss comes back to you. Your lip throbs, and you’re unsure if it’s from your sunburn anymore.
Why did you taste honey earlier? You tongue the inside of your cheek and your molars, looking for a crystal of honey or some other thing even though you know there is nothing.
Your phone buzzes with a text again. Changbin, this time with a photo of him lying on the hood of his car, the stars reflected on the windshield. LOOK STARS, reads the accompanying message. You smile at the juxtaposition of his serene expression and his excited text. Your traitorous heart skips a beat.
Sorry, almost there, you reply back before flying down the stairs to the parking lot.
You see Changbin still lying on his car, one lazy leg draped over the side. Your heels clatter loudly against the asphalt. Changbin doesn’t hear you, or if he does, he doesn’t turn his head to you.
“Hi,” you shyly greet. “Sorry for making you wait.”
Changbin lolls his head to you. You don’t miss the way he scans you up and down, and you hold your purse in front of you like a shield. The off-the-shoulder dress with its cotton candy floral appliques is right for Nayeon’s extravagant birthday but not for a presentation on the autumn equinox. A smile spreads across his face, but you only see the beginnings of it since he hops up from the hood.
“Hey. You look really… nice,” he says. He leans against his car and crosses his arm, flexing the muscles he has hidden beneath his leather jacket. He looks at you like he’s never seen you before.
An arrow whistles past your ear. In the next moment, you feel someone lunging at you. A man dressed in all black, a sword sheathed at his back, has his arms around your waist and pulls you to the ground. Too shocked to scream, you only stare at him. He stares back at you, drinking you in like he has been dehydrated all of his life.
“Sh-should we get going?” you stammer out, stepping to the passenger side. Your head throbs, and you clutch the door handle for stability.
He snaps out of his stupor and pushes himself off of the hood. “Right, sorry.”
You settle into the leather seat as Changbin starts the car. The engine purrs, and the steel frame vibrates underneath your feet as he backs up out of his spot with a few jerky movements. He’s not an awful driver, but he’s not Mina. You rest your head against the window, hoping that the cool glass will temper your sudden headache.
“You okay?” Changbin asks.
“Just tired,” you lie. “The late night labs are really messing up my already bad sleep schedule.”
He chuckles. “Tell me about it. I've been getting a bunch of weird stress dreams too. Take a nap if you want. I'll wake you up when we're there.”
“I'll be fine.”
“If you say so.”
Your headache slowly fades as Changbin drives down the hill, an R&B song playing softly on the radio, but you are still uneasy. That was more like a flashback than a dream. Despite the intensity of it, the man’s face is an unidentifiable blur, an unfinished puzzle. You can feel the fire of his eyes and the awe in the way he reverently holds you, but he is a still mystery.
You shut your eyes, hoping that the darkness will be enough to conjure him back. Instead, the radio and the steady rocking of the car lulls you to sleep.
Soap suds slide down from your hair into the sunken bathing pool where they collect around your naked arms, forming little clouds of foam. You idly push them around the surface of the water as the maids scrub your hair and add more tea leaves to the bath. You escaped the grassy field with only a bruise at your hip. Your disheveled appearance and your dirty robes were easily explained by a fall during your afternoon walk, so your mother saw no reason to chide you as severely as she should have had if she had discovered that you entered enemy territory.
The man — no, prince. Years ago, when a marriage alliance was considered possible but still improbable, his picture was shown to you. He looks the same now, though you don’t remember his eyes being so intense. He scoured your face up and down, breath caught by the wind. Surely he was shown a portrait of you as well. Did he recognize you?
“Your Highness,” you cut in before he could say your name or your title or anything else that would give you away as an enemy. The handle of his sword glistened in the sun. You meekly bowed your head.
“You’re the princess, aren’t you? What are you doing out here, and in commoner robes?” Sensing your fear, he quickly added, “I won’t hurt you, I promise.”
While he shouted to his army to cease fire, you darted out of his grasp and ducked into the tall grasses. You half expected him to hear his footsteps thundering behind you, but he didn’t give chase fortunately.
A maid pours more water for your soaped hair, and the cascade drowns out your thoughts. The rose-scented bath suspends you in a state of serenity while a maid gently kneads your scalp. Distant birds sing an afternoon ditty. Behind your closed eyelids, the prince appears, his wondrous gaze unwavering. Then his mouth opens in surprise, perhaps in recognition, and you mirror it as a cold downpour comes down over your head.
You wake up gasping, pawing at your exposed collar bones for any dripping water. You can feel it splashing over your skin and misting your cheeks. Several droplets bounce up, and you pat your jaw too. Your fingers remain dry, but in the midst of your distress, you choke on your saliva and cough, which sends Changbin into a panic.
“Are you okay? Do you want me to pull over?” His turn signal is already on.
You shake your head, still winded from your coughing fit and dream. That was the fourth time you had that particular scene about bathing. If you remember correctly, the maid grabbed the wrong bowl of water and apologized profusely once she realized what occurred. You don’t think she got fired, but it’s difficult to remember when the names and faces of everyone in your dreams fade so quickly.
“Sorry,” you tell Changbin. He chose to pull over, but now that you’ve recovered, he tentatively merges back into the road. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Bad ending to a dream. I got a bunch of water poured onto me.”
“I’ve gotten those too!” he exclaims. He mindlessly drums the top of the steering wheel as he drives. The radio is playing a different song now, and you just know he’s itching to rap along. “The worst one I had, I willingly jumped down a waterfall. I thought I died when I woke up. Was yours like that too?”
“Taking a bath actually. A lot less scary.”
“I don’t know. It sounds like you almost drowned.”
You laugh a little to ease him. He glances over at you, and you wish the taillights lighting your face were a more flattering color than red. “At least you don’t have to wake me up now. How was your night?” you say to change the subject.
“Good, I guess. I caught up on some sleep and went out for sushi for lunch. Or dinner, I guess. How was the party?”
You relay all of the details of the fancy restaurant, suppressing a giggle at his shocked expression when you tell him about the smoked salmon roses. You hardly believed that they were real yourself; Momo had to handfeed you one since you were too busy staring at the coral pink petals of fish to eat. Changbin bemoans about his relatively boring spicy tuna roll, and then his shrimp nigiri when you mention the apple-and-brie pies. By the time the observatory is in view, Changbin looks like he’s ready to drive back to the restaurant and crash Nayeon’s party.
“How am I going to watch the presentation now that I know about all that food?” he says. He takes his keys out of the ignition and looks over at you. “If it’s not too late, do you wanna get something to eat after?”
“Yeah! No pizza though,” you quickly add. “We always get pizza.”
“Sounds good to me.”
The two of you get out of his car and begin walking to the observatory. There are more people than you anticipated, but maybe it’s because there’s not much else to do in a secluded university town. You recognize a few people from lecture and lab, but surely the elderly couple in matching plaid outfits aren’t students. You walk across the parking lot beside Changbin, your stupid high heels announcing your presence with each step. Why didn’t you bring a change of clothes? Not only are you the most overdressed person in the vicinity, it’s freezing. All those stars in the sky are too far away to provide any real light or warmth to you.
At the entrance of the observatory, with its tasteful blue and white banners advertising tonight’s presentation, Changbin stops you. “Take my jacket. It matches your dress too.”
“Hm?” Then you see the pink and white cherry blossoms on the back. The flowers surround a pair of swimming koi fish, embroidered on with white thread. You reach out to take it but pause. “You’re not going to be cold?”
“I’m strong,” he says as he mockingly flexes his arms. Flustered, you busy yourself with putting on his leather jacket. His lingering body heat envelops you, smoothing all of the goosebumps on your skin. His cologne tickles your nose, and you breathe in the fragrance as you adjust your purse. You shyly clasp your hands in front of you. Before you suggest that the two of you start heading in, he says, “Don’t worry, you look pretty,” rendering you speechless.
You mutely follow him inside where for some inconceivable reason, it is actually colder than the night air. The central room features a large star map painted onto the inside of the dome, the history of astronomy inscribed along the walls, and a model of the Milky Way underneath the glass floor. Students flock underneath the dome, pointing at the constellations they learned in class. Changbin points out to you his star sign, and you find yours and show him as well. While he marvels at it, you study the map. Which star did the astronomer say was yours, or rather your dream self’s?
“We need proof that we actually came,” Changbin reminds you. Since admission into the observatory is free, your proof of attendance, as decreed by your professor, is to take a selfie with the presentation slides in the shot. You expected a quiz, but you suppose everyone would get the extra credit since the autumn equinox has been covered in class. “Should we do it now or later?”
“Now,” you say. “We need to find good seats too.”
Arrows point to Exhibit Hall A where the presentation is being held. You lead the way this time, keeping an outstretched arm behind you for Changbin to follow as you weave through the crowd. The crowd grows denser as you near the exhibit hall. At some point, Changbin grabs your — his? — jacket sleeve to hold onto.
“Where are you going?” His hand circles your wrist like a rabbit snare before you can pull away. “I still have to kiss you goodbye.”
Your wrist burns, and you yank it back, holding it to your chest. You stand in the middle of the hallway, heart beating too fast and skin prickling with flames. The headache from earlier returns in full force and then dulls into a muffled throb as you try to keep your breathing steady. It’s not the pain that bothers you; why don’t you know his face?
“Is everything okay?” Changbin gently asks as he escorts you into a less crowded area. “I can take you home if you want.”
“No!” you practically shout. In a more calm tone, you repeat, “No. We’re not passing up on extra credit. I’m fine, just sleep-deprived.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” You plaster on a smile and take a step forward. “Let’s get our seats.”
Like before, Changbin follows you to the exhibit hall and up a set of stairs to the topmost row of benches. The presentation is projected on an enormous screen, and the keynote speaker is greeting her colleagues or just chatting with audience members. You face your back to the screen, making sure that “The Autumn Equinox” is visible in your photo. You snap a picture and sit primly in your seat, waiting for Changbin to finish fiddling with his angles and faces. He makes a few particularly goofy ones that make you laugh. You cross your eyes and scrunch up your lips, and he almost does a spit take.
While Changbin submits his photo for the extra credit assignment, you thumb your wrist. The burning sensation has dissipated, but you still feel the ghost of someone’s fingers wrapped around it. Whether it is your dream lover’s or Changbin’s — you don’t know.
“Do you wanna leave?” he conspiratorially whispers. He’s already sitting close to you, but the distance now is almost nonexistent. “We’ve got our proof, and it’s not like this stuff is new information.”
“Do you want to?”
While he pauses to think, the lights in the room begin to dim. The speaker is now waiting patiently by the podium, rubbing the laser pointer in her hand. More people flood in.
“When I grabbed your wrist earlier—”
“No, you’re good!” you hurriedly reassure. “It wasn’t your fault. Something just happened and…”
Do you tell him about your eerily vivid dreams? Not even Mina knows about this and she lives with you. On the rare occasion she has seen you wake up in a panic, you told her it was a nightmare.
You fold and unfold the corrugated cuffs of Changbin’s jacket. He said he’s been having weird dreams too; maybe he’ll understand. However, before you can tell him about it, the exhibit hall goes dark and the microphone screeches as the speaker begins her talk. The presentation slides glimmer with special effects, and the crowd oohs and ahhs as the on-screen orange leaves morph into little white stars. It’s too late to leave now without drawing attention.
“I’ll tell you after,” you whisper.
Changbin relaxes and gives you a small smile. “We’re crashing your friend’s party, right?”
“If they haven’t left by then.”
To Changbin’s disappointment, you receive some photos in the group chat that show that Nayeon’s party has moved from the restaurant to an arcade. The speaker’s words fade into the background as you show Changbin the pictures. Jihyo is still a monster at DDR, and Chaeyoung is still the best at shooting hoops. Changbin declares that he’s the best at the basketball free-throwing game, so you rightfully defend Chaeyoung because she didn’t win ten games in a row to be second-best.
“She’s the queen,” you say.
Changbin goes stiff, and his hand curls into a fist, closing tighter and tighter until his fingernails dig into his palms. With panic crawling up your throat, you roughly shake him, and he blinks out of his haze, still dazed. He stares out at you like he’s lost.
“Changbin, are you okay?” you gently ask. “What happened?”
“Is it okay if we get some air right now? Both of us?”
You lead him outside, mumbling apologies to the people you pass by, and he holds onto your sleeve for security even though there’s no crowd to navigate through. Your footsteps loudly echo throughout the hallway.
“You’re too noisy,” you say as you settle among the grass. “I heard your loud, boorish clomping when I got here.”
“Well, I guess next time I’ll have to lie down next time. I’ll win—”
Changbin’s fingers slip down into your hand, dragging you out of your fog. You let him hold it, partially because he’s shaken and you don’t know what to do. He blanked out and returned back to reality like he had seen the future; you’re still having sleep-deprived illusions. At least this time you came out of it peacefully.
You stop underneath the veranda outside, and Changbin stands beside you, his hand still in yours.
“I need to tell you something,” he finally says, “but first, what did you want to tell me?”
“You can go first. Mine isn’t that important.” Your heart and head pound as he gathers his words.
“This is going to sound insane,” he says, more to the silence than you, “but I think we knew each other before this class. I keep having these dreams about a princess, and I think you’re the princess. Ever since I met you, I’ve been… living this weird dream life, and I started hallucinating things and they always seem to be about stuff from my dreams. Like, when you said ‘She’s the queen,’ there was suddenly a pond and a bridge and some ducks, and the princess — I really think it’s you now because she smiles like you — was feeding the ducks.” He looks over at you, and everything about him softens. “I know it sounds crazy, but it feels so real.”
Your headache upgrades into a migraine as you graft Changbin’s face onto the mystery man. His eyes, his cheeks, his nose, his chin — they all fit, but is it because you desperately want them to or because he is the prince? You swallow thickly. “In your dreams, do you ever meet the princess in an empty field at night? Because I have a lot of dreams where I’m having a secret rendezvous with a prince.”
“All the time. And the prince and princess have that game where they try to find each other first?”
Your whole body is shaking. Your brain feels like it’s trying to break out of your skull. “Yeah.”
“Can I try something?” His arm slips around your waist, and he gently pulls you in front of him. It feels too natural. The stars reflect in his eyes, his pretty, pretty eyes that look at you like you hold the key to the universe. He’s shaking too. “You can say no.”
You wrap your arms around his neck. Mina and Nayeon would kill to see this, and you push them out of your mind as your lips pulse with a familiar heat. “No, go ahead. Try whatever you want.”
Then he kisses you like the stars are going to go out.
It’s all Changbin. It’s always been Changbin, from the first time he saved you from being shot at to the other first time where he sat next to you in lecture and asked what lab you had.
Your astronomer was right after all.
You and Changbin break away, fighting for breath. He swears, and you would have done the same if you weren’t hyperventilating. The migraine has gone away, but every part of you is humming with electricity. You feel every remnant of your memories: the sharp pain at your hip from falling onto the ground, the slippery soap suds sliding down your jaw, and the glazed tea cup grazing your fingertips as you drop it. They were a literal lifetime ago, yet they feel more lucid than anything you have experienced.
“What do we do now?” Changbin says. He clutches like you’ll disappear into the air.
You play with the cuffs of his jacket, looking at the sky. You’re fated to be with him, but you liked him before you knew that. This newfound knowledge doesn’t change your feelings. “I don’t know.” And because you’re concerned with the future, more specifically, the semester, you ask, “Are we a thing now?”
“Do you want to be? Because we can.”
He looks at you with hope and then unrestrained joy when you say, “I do.”
The stars shimmer and shine, some of them by themselves, some of them in constellations. You wrap Changbin’s jacket tighter around you and study the sky. Though you don’t know where they are, you know there are two stars that have finally met and collided.
Fun fact: The autumn equinox is on September 22, which is also Nayeon’s birthday.
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sorry that i like you so much. ｡˚۰˚☽˚
minho x reader
genre: angst, fluff
song recommendation: sorry, i love you by stray kids
for @g-bbzz — i’m so sorry this has taken so long, i’ve recently started college so i’ve not been motivated to write as much ):
minho couldn’t take it anymore. he was watching you from afar, seeing how your hand was pressed lightly on another boy’s shoulder, your laughter a sweet sound resonating through the air and your joy infectious. he knew it was his fault, the rift between you two and the separated space was entirely all on him, but he couldn’t help but be bitter.
being childhood best friends, minho and you often heard adults around you saying they wouldn’t be surprised if you two fell in love. at first, being a young child and hearing that made him want to throw up, but as he grew older, the concept of being your boyfriend became less disgusting to him and more comforting. the way you two acted basically solidified that you two were in love without saying it. so when minho had the realisation at seventeen, he swore to keep it to himself until he knew you returned his feelings ( minho wasn’t the smartest in this department, as he was too oblivious to see how much you felt towards him. )
he held this secret close to his heart until you two entered college. he thought he could continue being just your friend, but it was proving to be extremely difficult as everyday his heart grew more for you. then in the end, he couldn’t even look at you without wanting to kiss you, so in his mind to save the embarrassment of being turned down by his own best friend, he split off his friendship with you. he didn’t answer your calls or texts, avoided you whenever he could and made himself comfortable with his new friend group, even if a massive hole was left where you once filled it.
you noticed the change immediately, your heart essentially broke in two with the harsh change and you had no clue what had caused it. but you wouldn’t let yourself wallow in pain with missing minho for the rest of your life, a couple of weeks after the end of the friendship you made a new group of friends. one of your friends was named hyunjin, and it wasn’t a secret in your group that he quite liked you. he couldn’t fill minho’s shoes, but he was a nice and rather handsome boy, so it wasn’t that hard getting along with him.
that’s what led you to this predicament, minho sending you and hyunjin evils as you two were mostly laughing with one another. minho had barely touched his food and he didn’t care if you caught him staring at the two of you, he just couldn’t believe that you were with someone that wasn’t him. in that moment, he realised what a stupid mistake he had made. even if you didn’t return his feelings, he would rather have you as a friend than an enemy.
standing up abruptly, minho ignored the calls of his friends and marched up to your table, his heart increasing with every step. your look of quick shock was evident before it turned to a bitter glance as you noticed your ex-best friend walking towards you. he stopped and spoke, “y/n. can we talk, please?”
despite missing hearing his voice, you scoffed slightly, trying to rid the tears out of your eyes. “really, minho? you haven’t spoke with me for weeks and now all of a sudden you wish to speak?”
a look of guilt washed over his face before he muttered, “i know i’ve been an asshole-“ you laughed slightly, “yeah you could say that.”
minho had underestimated how much he had hurt you and it was causing him pain just to see your expressions. deciding he didn’t care who heard, he shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets and blurted out his heart. “y/n, i was- no, i am in love you. i stopped being your friend because i was scared that you wouldn’t like me back and that was stupid. i’ve missed you so much and everyday i wasn’t with you just made my feelings stronger. y/n, i’m sorry that i like you, and that i caused you so much pain.”
the tears you had swiftly not let fall earlier were threatening to escape and you were speechless. it took a few moments to realise you hasn’t replied yet, so instead of risking tears falling with so many people around, you stood up and placed your lips upon minho’s. he had a second of shock before reciprocating, putting his everything in the kiss he had yearned so long for. when you two finally parted, you spoke quietly, “you idiot. i’ve liked you since i was fifteen, minho, and i’ll probably never stop.”
his face finally broke out in a smile, and he quickly took you in his arms. he swore from that moment on, he would never let you go.
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i'm here for you, always.
pairing: han jisung x reader (platonic)
warnings: angst / fluff. (y/n) suffers with anxiety; mentions of post-lockdown depression / anxiety - read with caution if you struggle with these issues. (1.1k)
synopsis: after an intense panic attack, Han arrives just in time to comfort you. this was purely self-indulgent. (ㅠㅅㅠ;)
You just couldn't do it anymore. After being isolated from people you loved due to the pandemic, meaning birthdays and holidays spent alone in your dorm, you never thought that returning to your regular schedule would be the difficult part. Classes had hardly started but you were already overwhelmed- just reading through your assignments and required reading for the coming year was giving you a migraine. It was like you had whiplash, your life was forced to pause throughout an incredibly hard two years and now suddenly everything was just… resuming. Worse still, it even felt like some of your friends came out of the pandemic as better people- that was the most painful part.
Some of your classmates had mastered hobbies, others found new relationships, and more than a few of your close friends had incredible glow ups during their time in the pandemic. But you? You had maybe picked up a skill or two, but you felt as though you were the only one who truly struggled, as if you were the only one carrying the trauma of the pandemic. So, to say you felt unprepared to get back into your studies after such a long break was an understatement: you were terrified.
You didn’t even notice how your breath shortened to staggered gasps, or how your tears fell onto your laptop as you were lost in thought; you practically collapsed onto your desk. It was like you were drowning; as much as you wanted to swim to the surface, or do anything to catch your rushed breath, your body was too exhausted. Instead, you completely broke down: your weak legs brought you off your desk chair and onto your bedroom floor. You didn’t have it in you to stifle your sobs anymore, your tears continued to flow down your flushed cheeks.
“Hey! Hey, (y/n)?” Han shouted, closing your front door behind him, “Sorry I’m late, I just came from the studio... where are you?” It felt like you were stuck to the ground as you bawled, too lost in your own intrusive thoughts to process that your friend had entered your apartment. It had basically become tradition since you were both children to meet up at your place every Friday at 6pm for video games, gossip and pizza. Even throughout the pandemic, you found ways to keep up the tradition, opting to facetime instead; although neither of you would admit it, the weekly event was a saving grace for you both.
After spending a couple minutes searching for you within your small apartment, he heard your shortened breath and sobs coming from your room and rushed over. He opened the door and eyes frantically scanned the scene, first to the textbooks and laptop that scattered your desk; then, to see your fragile state on the ground.
He rushed to sit next to you on the floor. “Shhh... shh… No, no it's okay. I'm right here,” He hushed, trying his best to comfort you as your tears persevered. His concern engulfed him completely; almost brought to tears by how hurt you looked. You had always been there for each other, but Han knew that you went above and beyond to look after him when he was at his worst.
“I- I’m-,” You hiccuped, desperately straining yourself to apologise, “I- I’m, I’m so s-sorry, I- I forgot y-you were,” You sobbed, too overwhelmed with emotion, “I- I f-forgot you w-were coming o-over, I-”
“No, no, It’s okay!” Han reassured, “Really, It’s fine. You’re okay, I- (Y/n), You're shaking! Would you be okay if I touched you…” He tentatively reached out to your shaky hand; you welcomed the gesture, desperately in need of such affection. “Just let me take care of you…” For the first time, you both made eye contact and he smiled. “C’mon sunshine, let’s get you somewhere more comfortable.”
As if you were weightless, he carefully picked you up and moved you onto the bed next to you both. After ensuring you were comfortable among your plushies and pillows, he took off his shoes and joined you under the covers. “Do you want to talk about it...?” You shook your head, eyes focused on your teddy between your arms “No? That's okay! I'll just hold you tight.” He shuffled in bed and slowly brought you onto his chest, as his arms wrapped around you. Han slowly rocked you both side-to-side as you gripped onto his hoodie, breath slowly returning to a regular pace.
“Shhhhh... you're okay. I've got you, sunshine. You’re doing so well, oh my gosh, we didn’t even need to do breathing exercises. You’re so incredible.” He whispered, as his chin rested on top of your head. “... does this feel nice?” You nodded, focusing on grounding yourself with the feeling of your soft bed beneath you; his calm voice lulling you back to reality. “Just keep breathing in and out. That's it... you're safe with me…”
“I really am sorry, Han. I feel like I’ve ruined pizza night.” You admitted with a regained ability to speak, as you looked up at your friend.
“Stop apologizing, (Y/n)! It's no bother- I love comforting you! There's really nothing more I want to do right now than look after you.”
“I know, I just… I feel like I’m burdening you and-”
“You're not a burden…” He shook his head, furrowing his brows as he continued, “I love you, sunshine, and I care for you so much- you have so many people who love you. When you're feeling sad, or anxious... I want to do everything I can to help you. Anxiety sucks... but you're not alone. I'm here for you,”
You nodded your head, suddenly exhausted from the intensity of the panic attack or from the comforting feeling of being safe in bed. “It's okay to need other people for comfort... it's okay to be vulnerable.” Han whispered, still rocking you as he brought your blanket further up your body. “Just let your worries wash away... I've got you.”
“Can we-,” You closed your eyes, steadily succumbing to sleep, “Can we still have pizza night after I wake up?”
Han laughed quietly, bringing a hand up to stroke through your hair, “Yes, of course! We can get up and you can have a nice hot shower, so you can feel refreshed. I'll order your usual from our go-to pizza place...” His own eyes began to close, feeling relaxed by the feeling of being in bed after his own long day, “...but not yet. Let's just snuggle for a little while more. We can get up once you're ready; I'll keep holding you tight. I'm not going anywhere... I'm here for you, always.”
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➟ pairing(s): ChangBin x Reader
➟ genre(s): Fluff
➟ word count: 2032
➟ warnings: None
"How long are you going to be here," MinHo asked you again, setting your bags inside the dorm?
"I have no idea," you admitted. The pipes in your apartment ruptured causing the floors to be flooded with water. "I hope not long. I hate putting you guys out like this."
"Don't be silly," a voice chimed in, "You know we love having you around." Chan entered the room and quickly welcomed you.
"I really appreciate you letting me stay while my landlord fixes this stuff," you gratefully thanked him. "Where is everyone?" You didn't see any trace of the other 6 guys.
"They're trying to rearrange sleeping space for you," MinHo said. Your eyes grew.
"Oh, no. I'm fine on the sofa," you urged.
"Like we could let 'babe' sleep on the sofa," MinHo scoffed. You narrowed your eyes at him.
"She can stay with me," a voice said sternly. Smiling you saw your best friend, ChangBin, enter with everyone. "Is that ok with you," he asked? Taking your bags, he took them to the shared bedroom.
"Guess that settles that," you giggled.
ChangBin had been one of the first people you met when you moved to Korea. He knew you better than you knew you, so it wasn't a surprise he was still your best friend after 3 years. The surprise was that he was only your best friend. No matter how funny, attractive, or perfect one thought the other was, it never went past friends.
The first few nights at the dorm were the same. Dinner, showers, bed, and secret snacks. You were sure that Chan was ready to kick you out by the third night.
"Binnie," you whispered, tucking your head into his chest. Humming, he brushed your hair off your face with one hand and cradled your head with the other. "I can get used to this," you giggled. By now your legs were entangled with his, and your arm tracing circles on his back. Humming again he used his free hand to tilt your head to his, kissing the tip of your nose.
"Go to sleep," he whispered back. You wiggled a little in his arms and grunted softly. "Stop moving," he huffed. Whining a bit you shuffled your legs around his. "Seriously, stop," he said a little more stern.
"Binnie," you whined, "I can't sleep." If he could see you, he would have scoffed at your big doe eyes. "Binnie," you said softer and sweeter.
"You can't sleep because you haven't stopped moving or talking," he scolded you. "Now, go to sleep." He kissed your forehead and cradled your head against him again. A few minutes passed in complete silence, ChangBin thought he won the night.
"Binnie," you whined again. He didn't say a word to you, but there was no mistaking his annoyance. A quick slap sounded in the room.
"What was that," Felix cackled?
"Did you spank her," Chan teased?
"Yes," both you and ChangBin exclaimed!
"Keep it up and I'll bend you over my knee and do it again," he said from gritted teeth. Felix and Chan were in tears over the whole thing, you on the other hand pouted. "Sleep, now."
The following day you pouted anytime you had to share space with ChangBin. He tried his best to make you smile but to no avail. That night when you dressed for bed, you stared at ChangBin, hating that grin on his face.
"Come on, babe," ChangBin called to you, "Just get in bed. I'm tired." You chewed your lip and caught sight of Chan walking out of the bathroom, hair, and skin wet. Climbing the steps to the top bunk you sat on Chan's bed.
"Channie, hey," you said to him. He was putting on a shirt and drying his hair when he noticed you.
"Yes, honey," he said? "What do you want?"
"Binnie is being mean still," you pouted, "Can I stay with you tonight?" Chan looked between your pout and ChangBin's scowl. Scooting closer you leaned on his shoulder and fake sniffled. "Please? I promise I'll be good tonight." The scoff from under you caused Chan to laugh.
"Best behavior tonight, Honey," Chan called to you, "Or you will get bent over the knee." Rolling your eyes you threw yourself on his pillows. It only took 5 minutes before Chan regretted letting you stay. He took his job as big spoon seriously; however, you were the worst little spoon.
"Channie," you whispered, "Can you scratch my back?" He absentmindedly did as you asked. "Can you move your arm?" ChangBin smirked at the annoyed grunt from above. "Hey, Channie. I need to pee."
"Just go," he groaned. When you were out of earshot, he leaned over the edge of the bed. "How do you deal with her moving so much? She's exhausting!"
"Are you surprised she got spanked now," ChangBin asked? "Just play with her hair and she'll stop." He smiled to himself and turned in bed, away from Chan.
Before returning to the room, you stopped by the kitchen and grabbed a small bag of gummy fruit snacks. Almost down the hall, you quickly returned for a second bag. Just a habit you figured. You stood in the doorway and looked at the bunk bed, your best friend sleeping below and your Channie above. You smiled and knelt next to the bottom bunk, brushing ChangBin's hair from his forehead.
"Binnie," you whispered. "Binnie," you said again, a little louder, shaking his shoulder. He turned to you sleepily. "Move over," you pushed him, "Come on." He smiled and opened his arms. Like two pieces to a puzzle, you laid in his arms and wrapped your legs together.
"What happened to Chan," he chuckled? You nuzzled into his chest and smiled.
"His arms are too big," you admitted. "Too heavy. I like your's better." Humming his approval, he tilted your head and kissed your nose. "G'night Binnie."
"Hey babe," he said quietly. "I'm hungry." You giggled and told him to check your pockets, where you had a treat hidden.
A few nights later you sat brushing Felix's hair. Laughing he wrapped his arms around you. "So when are you spending the night with me?" He wiggled his eyebrows at you. "I like to cuddle too."
"Alright, Lee, me and you, tonight," you laughed. ChangBin walked in and eyed you.
"Leaving me again," he joked? "You'll be back. You can't resist this." He flexed his arms and you rolled your eyes. "Come on Felix, I get to be the big spoon."
The chatter between you and Felix was nonstop. Chan finally had enough and physically removed you from the bed.
"Hey," you protested, "you can't just do this." Without warning from Chan, you were tossed on the bed next to ChangBin, startling him awake.
"What the hell," he asked sleepily, focusing on your face.
"Deal with her," Chan growled before climbing back into his bed.
"Felix wouldn't stop talking," you lied. ChangBin rolled his eyes and mocked.
"Coming from you? Yeah, ok," he chuckled in disbelief. Just like the nights before, he opened his arms and you found your favorite spot against his chest. "Were the cuddles at least good," he asked softly, trying to not bother Chan?
"Nope," you popped the word on your lips. "Too skinny. I like this," you mumbled into his chest, "Feels good." Feeling the way his body shook, you knew he thought you were amusing. But in all honesty, you did like to cuddle with him the most.
Word got around the dorm quick that you were playing musical beds to annoy ChangBin, and everyone wanted a turn. Night after night you teased your friend about needing a new sleeping partner, but night after night you still ended up in his arms, legs wrapped together and a kiss on the nose.
It was little things like Hyunjin yelling nonsense while you tried to sleep, ChangBin normally talked in his sleep but it never woke you. Han was a classic stage 5 clinger, as you like to call him, so he wrapped around your body and it was just too hot to deal with him. MinHo on the other hand was the complete opposite, you couldn't seem to get close to him without him moving. It was too cold for that nonsense anyway. SeungMin tried to snuggle you the way ChangBin did, but it didn't feel right to you. Almost forced, it didn't feel natural.
It wasn't until you laid next to I.N that someone asked the right question. "Noona," he whispered to you, turning to face you. He could tell that you hadn't fallen asleep yet and that soon you would sneak out to lay in his Hyung's bed. "Why do you keep going back to ChangBin Hyung?
"I don't know," you confessed a little embarrassed. "Maybe I like the way it feels. It's familiar and, um, well," you trailed off.
"Safe," he finished for you? "I get it. That's how I feel when you're around." You cooed and brushed his hair back. "I think he likes it too. I like you two."
"We like you too," you assured him. In the faint light, you could see him shake his head.
"No. No. I like you two," he stressed, "together. It's what I think happiness should be." You thought about what he said and realized he was right. Nothing felt right without ChangBin and no one made you feel like he did. "Goodnight, Noona," he said, turning away from you. You laid still for a little longer before I.N nudged you closer to the edge of the bed.
Throwing yourself on the sofa you turned on the television. The sound was almost muted, but the light glowed around the room. You couldn't stop thinking about what I.N said. Did ChangBin really feel that way, or was it just habit and comfortable actions that kept his doing it? Drifting in and out of sleep you let memories crowd your mind. Small things that you may have overlooked. Friendly gestures or unrequited love? A hoarse, sleepy voice called your name.
"What are you doing up at this time," ChangBin demanded, rubbing his eyes. "Do you know how late it is?" You hummed but didn't really answer. He rounded the sofa and lifted your legs to lay across his lap. "Why aren't you sleeping?" His voice was soft and soothing now.
"Thinking," you replied. He nodded his head, waiting for more of an answer. Staring at the television, you chewed on your fingers. He reached and pulled your fingers from your mouth and held them in his hands.
"Thinking about what," he inquired? He knew by the way you avoided his gaze that it was something really bothering you. "Come on, talk to me." He moved closer to you and pulled you onto his lap. "Something has you up this late. You can talk to me." Something about his voice and the way he held you made you let go.
"I talked to I.N tonight," you stated simply. "Why do you think I keep coming back to you?" He tilted his head and grinned.
"Cause I'm cute," he quipped. You let out a small laugh and slapped his chest.
"I'm serious. This isn't what normal friends do, Binnie," you continued. Taking a deep breath you leaned into his body, finding pleasure in his warmth and gentle thud of his heart.
"You're not normal, babe," he joked again. You grumbled, still not entertained.
"Friends don't call each other in the middle of the night, just to say hi. They don't crawl into each other's bed for cuddling," you let the words spill from your mouth. "I keep telling myself it might be nothing." You looked into his eyes, searching for something, anything.
"No," he held your gaze, "It's not nothing." You felt his heart begin to race. He tilted your head the same sweet way he did every night and kissed your nose, only this time tilting your head a little more toward his lips. "I know you feel it too." His breath fanned across your face as he held near to your lips. "Say it."
"I love you, too."
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She’s A Fangirl || [SMAU] || Teaser
♡ Pairing: AnonIdol!YangJeongin x female!Reader
♡ Genre: Fluff, Crack (at some points), SOME angst
♡ Synopsis: Stanning a small boy band wasn’t in her agenda in life, she actually expected to stan another kpop group but here she is, creating a stan account for someone she doesn’t even know. Racha! Is an anonymous independent group that suddenly boomed in Star Lost University and it was Y/N’s mission to be their number one fan. That is until she finds out who they are. Will she continue to support her number one enemy?
♡ Warnings/Tags: social media!au, college!au, enemies-to-lovers!au, more to come when finished!
♡ Status: 20% Done
♡ Release Date: TBA!
♡ Updated: September 17, 2021
✍︎ Character Masterlist:
⤷ Twitter Accounts
⤷ Group Chats
⤷ Racha Official and Racha Fansite (Owned by y/n)
✍︎ Chapter Masterlist:
⤷ Chapter 1: TBA!
⤷ Chapter 2: TBA!
⤷ Chapter 3: TBA!
⤷ Chapter 4: TBA!
⤷ Chapter 5: TBA!
⤷ Chapter 6: TBA!
⤷ Chapter 7: TBA!
⤷ Chapter 8: TBA!
⤷ More to come eventually!
✍︎ A/N: Hi! This is just a teaser until I finish it at about 75%. i think i can release this at around the last week of September 2021 or the start of October 2021! This isn’t my first SMAU so I think I can manage to finish it early! My end goal is at around 8 chapters (bc 8 members of skz) but who knows! it might become more since I think 8 chapters are a bit short! I’m mainly just fixing my blog that’s why I posted the teasers already!
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Ghost Story | Bang Chan
⥃Stray Kids Masterlist
ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ➳ 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭! 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐗 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫.
𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕣𝕖 ➳ 𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐒𝐚𝐝 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠.
𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ➳ 𝟐,𝟐𝟒𝟏 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬.
𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ➳ 𝐍𝐨𝐧𝐞
𝕊𝕪𝕟𝕠𝕡𝕤𝕚𝕤 ➳ 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦, 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝. 𝐈𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞.
𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬.
ℝ𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 ➳ 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐧.
The gentle crackle of a humming radio lay low inside the dorm under the bright midday sun, unusual to the boys who went about producing multiple new tracks day and night to complete their assignments and carry on with their creative process.
Then again, nothing seemed usual after a breakup, did it?
A boy lay immobile on the taut wooden floor, unmoving even to the voices that called him out to get food from outside the locked door. The radio rested beside him, music directly playing into his red-tinted ears, a square wooden box with a glossy walnut brown finish which seemed to look brand new when in fact it had been used and worn down for many long years.
The sweater-clad boy sighed deeply in dismay, lazily lifting up his loopy arm to fiddle with the buttons of the radio as a distraction. He'd constantly been doing the same activity for weeks on end, and though it gave his dormmates some rest from his constant nagging, they had begun to get concerned.
Bang Chan loved to work. Bang Chan worked like his breath depended on it.
Now, Bang Chan hadn't even opened his computer for the past 2 weeks.
"Chan? We're grabbing some food, please come with us? Just this once?" His starry-eyed roommate knocked on the door, constantly nudging it in case Chan had finally left it unlocked.
"Go ahead Jisung, I'm a little busy right now," Chan's muffled, accented voice floated through the block with a strain.
"Chan, please get out of your room, your girlfriend wants to see your face and we're sick of making excuses already," Jisung complained stubbornly.
"I don't care okay, I'm busy right now and my relationship is my business so I'll handle her myself. Leave...please." Chan belted, shutting Jisung up immediately with a sigh as his retreating footsteps sounded through the dorm with a heavy atmosphere blanketing it.
After about five minutes of complete silence in the dorm, Chan had concluded that both his roommates had left him alone so as to avoid aggravating him further, which although he felt even more guilty for, he was also thankful.
Now that the distractions had disappeared, Chan's mind began to drift farther and farther once more, landing on the same place again as if stuck on a time loop trying to make sense of what he did wrong in the first place to get stuck in there.
Where had she disappeared, more importantly, was it he who made her disappear?
His loose fiddling hands soon turned rigid and tense on the radio dials, squeezing the plastic exteriors so hard that the edges of the dials almost began to crack. Anger and frustration soon began to cloud over his guilt and frustration, pupils dilating and lips turning into a straight line in an attempt to conceal his scream of resentment. Still, his mouth had gotten used to spew out every word his mind longed him to.
"Let me hate you. Please, stop making me wonder where you are. Please, can you just let me hate you?" He begged, voice cracking as he uttered the words again and again. His broken voice bounced through the empty walls with a serrated sadness and bitterness in it, slicing through the dorm with desperation, as if his tone itself begged for help.
His fists, now withdrawn, were clenched against his sides, fingernails drawing crescent moons into his palm in an anguished attempt to control his discharging emotions. His forearm began to shake with the amount of pressure he was adding to his palm, and to hide the brief moment of weakness leaking out for everyone to see, he pounded his fists onto the wooden floor. Once, twice, thrice, his fists numbed at the hard contact with the floor, a resonating thumping now coupling with the broken mantra he'd been sputtering out for the last minute.
Just then, another thump sounded, but this one wasn't from Chan.
In a panic, he scrambled up from the floor and stood on high alert, listening for any more noises. After a moment, he decided to speak up in case someone had actually reached home earlier than he had expected.
"Changbin? Jisung? You guys home?" He called out, eyebrows furrowed and fists clenched.
There was another thump, followed by the front door opening and closing.
This time, Chan didn't wait for a response. He immediately sprung into action and unlocked his door, ripping it open as soon as he could before wildly searching for the culprit who had made the sound, only to find out that they had left.
Though he didn't know who it was, Chan was sure it definitely wasn't Changbin nor Jisung.
"Mrs. Reed? Professor Everett wants to meet you by the staff room, he says it's something important and he wants to talk to you before he leaves," Bang Chan called out sweetly, gaining the attention of the librarian who almost never seemed to leave her seat.
"Oh really? Is he not keen to walk over here and talk to me instead of making me walk all the way?" She breathed bitterly.
"He thinks the students would be disturbed if you were to talk here. He's uncomfortable about making too much noise at the library," Chan sealed the lie with a dazzling smile, dimples poking out of his reddened, puffy face.
"Very well then, I'm just hoping no one would burn down the library while I'm away," The librarian passed a suspicious gaze towards Chan before standing up with one squeak of her chair before her heels clicked repitetively as she finally walked out.
At least Chan wasn't lying completely. The professor did say he wanted to discuss something with the librarian, although not so urgently.
He had no choice. He couldn't meet up with you at the dorms because the girls weren't allowed into the boy's facilities after hours and if you were caught loitering around the campus with him, you'd be falling in even more trouble.
Chan now had enough time to meet up with you and talk peacefully because it takes a whole fifteen-minute walk from the library to the main campus where the staff room was located, and it would take her another fifteen minutes to come back. If they were to make too much noise in the library, no one would be able to tell them off otherwise.
Because no crazy human would want to visit the library at the dead of the night right after the semester had ended.
Chan had never been to the campus library at 2:00 a.m in the night, and he had to admit that without the constant keys clicking on the laptops and creaking of the wood as people shook their feet in their restlessness, the pleasant and mellow library suddenly felt desolate and bleak.
Following the directions of the vague messages he had received, he quickly crossed the reception desk and took the first flight of stairs until he reached the second floor, walking farther and farther until he reached the furthest end of the library.
Situated here was the largest window in the library from which he had usually seen a hefty amount of sunlight streaming through which made the room light up with five different colours in the midday sun. Now, the stained glass streamed through dull, glowing moonlight. This, coupled with the lack of lighting lit up the room with different spotlights of a club as if the swaying trees controlled where the lights would move next.
"What's wrong? Why'd you want to talk so late at night?" Chan questioned as soon as his heavy feet came to a pause before your figure.
"Because I'm confused, Chan. I want to talk because I'm confused and I don't know what to make of the situation, of our situation," You seemed to sniffle, but Chan couldn't make out your expression because you had turned your back to him.
"Situation? What situation?" Chan questioned again, puzzled by the cryptic answers.
"Yes, Chan. The situation of your infatuation with your ex-girlfriend. I want to know if you're just using me to try and get over her or if you actually like me and care for me," You enunciated each word slowly as if you were thinking twice before uttering each syllable.
"Of course I like you, what makes you think that I'm still obsessed with her?" Chan shook his head, lying through his teeth.
"Oh don't pretend to be dumb now! You haven't talked to me properly in a week, Chan. Every time we're together you're always distracted, always staring at your phone, always zoning out, always ignoring half the things I say because you're just so caught up about the damn reason your ex ghosted and left you as soon as the semester ended!" You spat, finally turning around to face him.
Your face was stained with multiple tear tracks, eyes blood-shot red and porcelain-like cheeks puffed pink in grief. You glowed under natural moonlight from one side while the other side was shaded a deep yet transparent red from the light through the stained glass.
You looked distraught, broken even.
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I've neglected you and taken you for granted since the moment I asked you out. And... about her, I want to stop now. I want to stop waiting for her, I want to stop thinking about her, even. And from now on, I will. I've decided that I'd rather be oblivious, I'd rather be with you than spend the rest of my life wondering what dumb mistake I made for someone to leave me so quick." Chan sighed, voice shrinking until it was barely over a whisper. The more he spoke, the more desperate he sounded. The more he expressed himself, the more his eyes welled up with the last remaining tears he had saved to shed.
"You're lying. I can see it. I can see how much you loved her and how far you would go to get her back, to get to know why exactly she left you. There's no point in lying to me unless you think lying to me helps you lie to yourself. Chan, look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me to walk away right now and I will because you and I both know this isn't going to work out no matter how much we want it to." You faltered but nevertheless clenched your fists and stood firm, looking straight at him.
"You lie too, but I don't let them define you," Chan hummed.
"Pray tell, when did I lie?" You chuckled nonchalantly in disbelief.
"You lie about liking me, about caring for me. I see it in your eyes, the way you despise me, the way you think sticking up for me and staying with me would help you later on. That one day you'll finally think you're in love with me. You lie because you fear that if you lose me, you'll lose all hope for loving someone else."
That was what broke you. The moment those exact words left his mouth, your strong front shattered, finally revealing your broken and distraught reality.
The feeling of loneliness, the feeling of not being able to find that one person who would love you and care for you for the rest of your life, it terrified you. The more independent you became, the more foreign the world seemed to look from your perspective. The more you let yourself roam alone, the more desolate you seemed to become. You were terrified of being alone to the point where you were ready to spend all your time with someone who didn't even have a smidge of care for you.
All because you were utterly terrified of loneliness.
"Is that the only reason you've kept me with you all this time even though you knew everything? The only reason separating me and you from that one breakup point is the fact that you don't let my lies define me?" You cried, emotions now completely out in the open.
"Our relationship is nothing but a beautiful mistake. It is a stepping stone to drag me out of my fantasies and it is a desperate last-ditch effort of finding some form of love for you. We don't want to hurt each other because we both know we're fragile, but we also don't want to continue on because one day, reality will finally crash on us, and maybe it'll be too late till then." Chan worded each syllable, gulping and suppressing his raging emotions throughout his explanation.
A tense silence followed his statement, broken only by your occasional sniffling.
Both of you knew the truth was out and this was to be the end but something told them to stay, held them back and made them bask in the silence of each other's presence one last time.
Chan was the first one to turn around and walk back towards the flight of stairs, but he wanted to look back at you one last time. To make sure you were okay, to make sure you were going to be okay.
When your gaze finally locked on to his glittering, longing orbs, an unconscious smile grew on your face. A genuine symbol to the fact that, yes, you were broken, but perhaps one day when they meet again, they would know that they were okay.
© starchxn 2021. do not repost, modify, or translate.
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68 with bang chan :3
【ᴰʳᵃᵇᵇˡᵉ ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ || ˢᴷᶻ ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ || ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳᵖᵒˢᵗ】
💞 🄿🄰🄸🅁🄸🄽🄶: Bang Chan x female!reader
📚 🄶🄴🄽🅁🄴: Fluff, Established relationship.
🌟 🅁🄰🅃🄸🄽🄶: PG
💬 ⓌⒸ: 0.5k
⚠️ 🅆🄰🅁🄽🄸🄽🄶🅂: One swear word.
💫 (っ ◔◡◔)っɛƖ۷'ʂ ŋơɬɛʂ 💕:
Hey rachy, thanks for requesting, luv! Hope you like this :3
68. “You’re cute when you’re sleepy.”
The recording studio was lit only by Chan’s computer screens, the low blue light illuminating his drawn-out face. An occasional nod to the appropriate beat cast small shadows bouncing in time to the incomplete melody he was so concentrated on. Thus, he failed to sense the new presence sneaking up behind him.
“What the — !” He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden contact of your chin on his shoulder. “God, [Y/N], you scared the shit out of me.”
Your boyfriend slowly relaxed, the quick beating of his heart calming down as you fiddled with the hairs on the back of his neck. It was a position he would happily stay in but the pitiful whine of his name made him spin around to face you.
Your eyes were barely open, a distinct pout on your lips that he loved to kiss. The loss of his body heat in the cool air conditioning had you reaching for him with grabby hands. He quickly reciprocated and pulled you to stand between his legs, rubbing your barely covered legs endearingly.
“Why’re you up, babygirl?”
“Did you think I wouldn’t notice you left?”
“…‘m sorry, love.”
His Aussie accent thickened in these late (or early) hours and the sheepish tone of his apology wasn’t helping. You had taken it upon yourself to improve your sleep schedule to something more socially acceptable and just like any endeavor you attempted, you just had to drag Chan into it with you. It was beneficial, to say the least, the nocturnal lifestyle you’d both been living only leaving dark circles and muscle aches.
You’d managed to get your boyfriend into bed early these days — for actual sleep. Everyone commended you, such an act was deemed unfathomable before. But he was sneaky. Fortunately (or unfortunately), you were sneakier. Although you had woken up before your 4:45 A.M. alarm in a subconscious search of his warm cuddles, you set it knowing there was no way the workaholic and insomniac mess of your boyfriend would obediently stay in bed.
“I’ll let it go since it’s the first time, but next…”
Chan gulped at the rather aggressive way you pointed at his set-up. But the very large yawn interrupting you halfway made him bite his lip to keep from giggling in this very serious situation.
“… Next time you leave after I fall asleep means you delete everything you worked on when I catch you.”
“You know, you’re cute when you’re sleepy, even if you're threatening me.”
A quick double-check that his file was saved and Chan shut down the computer system, standing up to stretch. You let him wrap his warm hand around your own, basically turning into a rag doll in your sleepy state. Into bed, the two of you tumbled, the heavy blanket and your boyfriend’s comforting embrace lulling you back into the land of dreams immediately. Chan wasn’t far behind you. He always savored these precious moments to admire your content face before his eyelids closed.
You awoke the next morning with the sun peeking through the curtains. The dancing beams trailed across Chan’s nose and your eyes lovingly followed. Gently sliding out of his arms, you hurried to the kitchen to cook up a delicious breakfast to surprise him in bed. For there was nothing better than a healthy morning meal after a good night’s rest.
ezralia-writes September 2021: Drabble Request ©
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in these halls — skz.
one high school, eight boys, a hundred stories to tell.
in these halls is a compilation of stray kids fics that are set in the same alternate universe. in this world, you are a student of seoul’s top arts high school, SSA. during your sophomore year, you stumble upon a group of boys who took you under their wing. the rest was history.
all of the stories are weaved together but can still be read separately unless stated otherwise on the notes. this is not a formal series, i just unintentionally started writing stories set in the same universe. if you’re up for a long read or a semi-ongoing series, you’re in luck. i don’t think i’ll stop writing for this world any time soon.
taglist: @onlysolane @lixiesbabyhands @subways-stuff | interested? send an ask!
IF I FALL.
— “so i walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, i was drizzle and she was a hurricane.” - john green, looking for alaska.
2.9k. fluff, hurt/comfort, prom night!au.
— you couldn’t save yourself for shit, but minho can.
— all the times minho didn’t get caught and the one time that he did.
5k. fluff, slight angst, slight comedy.
— han jisung has lost to lees all his life, he should’ve been used to it by now.
2.6k words. fluff.
— the universe never worked in han jisung’s favor so when it (finally) did, he wasn’t ready for it.
supplementary fic to bruise lee.
3.7k words. fluff.
— in which a group of friends decided to play a realistic game of mafia where it was all fun in games until one of them goes missing.
19.3k words. mystery, thriller.
AT LUNCH BREAK
— lunch at fourth period was bad but at least you got to spend it with seungmin.
© neo-shitty, 2020-2021
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Butterflies | Felix
PART OF @DOIEVOIR’S HEARTBREAK HAVEN SERIES!
pairing. lee felix x gender-neutral reader, lee felix x oc, lee felix x ???
summary. that feeling, that cliché feeling. y’know, the one that stirs up your insides and makes you want to puke, cry, and jump up and down all at once? yeah, that one. that’s what you have to swallow down every single time lee felix decides to show up, uninvited. except, it’s kinda hard to swallow down butterflies when they’ve torn a hole right through your chest.
genres. angst, fluff, romance, open ending, high school au, strangers to lovers to ???
word count. 3.1k
warnings. kissing, implied infidelity, mentions of blood & organs, felix sucks, there’s a love,,, polygon going on that is never explained (tee hee, don’t hurt ur heads too much over it <3). PG-13.
taglist. @kookaine @allurain @heejojo
listen to. i will, mitski + secrets and lies, ruelle + washing machine heart, mitski.
author’s note. this is,,, several days late but!!! it’s here & i am not even upset that i’m late bc this turned out better than i thought it would. this is the concluding part of heartbreak haven, so hopefully this answers any questions you have from the other parts. it can be read alone, but i highly recommend reading the others!! i’ve been thinking of writing an epilogue with all three of their povs but if i do, that’s coming next week bc my brain is fried!!! lastly, part of this post (the whole comparing hand sizes thing) was inspired by @hyunpic ‘s post (click here to see it!) & is honestly the whole thing that kick started this series. like i always say, feedback is very much welcome and very much appreciated. happy reading <3
What did it take to fall in love?
Was it a momentary glance? The stars’ alignment? Prettily strung-together words? Or, was it much more than that? More difficult than that? (More sinister than that?)
Until you met Lee Felix, that question was a rhetorical one—not because it couldn’t be answered, but because you thought you would never be able to answer it. Love had been the last thing on your mind—discarded and pushed to the deepest crevices of your brain—so you never thought such a silly, rhetorical question could cause you so much pain.
(Oh, boy, how it could.)
The butterflies in your chest fluttered to life, for the very first time, when you locked eyes with Felix.
They were pools—dark, dark, dark pools. There were rings and layers to the velvety chocolate in his eyes, lined by sweet caramel dripping with love (lies!). His pupils, so dark and so wide, blended in with the deep pool—hiding to serve as the final prize. As the corners of his eyes crinkled ever so slightly, and his pupils grew, you realised you wanted to swim in those pools. Drown in them, if he would let you. Die in them.
The butterflies, flapping their wings tenderly, gently—like the love blossoming in you was so fragile it could break (it could, and would, for it was more fragile than the daintiest of glasses)—agreed.
Tearing your eyes away from him and back to your teacher, you liked to imagine the flutter the butterflies’ wings made was a song specially crafted for you. A song that would ring in your ears, caress his, and tie you two together with a knot.
The thought, so silly and so lovestruck, brought a grin to your face—one that didn’t go unnoticed by three pairs of eyes.
The next time you saw Felix, the butterflies beat their wings faster.
It was early October, still warm in the morning with a slight breeze every so often, so your gym class was held outside—something that most people didn’t enjoy. Nothing was flattering, nor gracious, about running laps under the beating sun, with only a flimsy gust of wind to cool you down.
But, he managed to make that class look so graceful—like he was floating on clouds. The sun’s harsh rays, that wore everyone else out, complimented his cream skin and made him gleam. The few gusts always managed to catch his nape, sending a brief breeze down his sweaty neck. Even the sweat (the salty tears! The salty tears, planted by those before you, that you failed to notice) beading on his forehead and jaw accentuated those areas, sculpting him like he was made by Aphrodite herself. Maybe he was. Maybe he was a Greek god in disguise, choosing to dwell among mere mortals to bless you all with his ethereal looks.
I’m definitely being blessed, you thought, as you finished a lap around the track and he sent a suave wink your way. The butterflies, agreeing, challenged your heart to see who could beat faster.
The race was tight, but as he slowed down his pace to match yours, your heart won—screaming from the effort.
“Hi,” he said, wiping away at sweat and grinning, “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. I’m Felix.”
For a second, the butterflies faltered. Had he not noticed it—the cocooning in your chests the moment you two locked eyes? Or, had the caterpillars only crawled into your chest, gnawing away at your flesh, till they found a home there? (Was his chest not warm enough for caterpillars to cocoon, was the question you failed to wonder—failed to ask.)
Then, his grin widened, eyes crinkling like they had before and none of that mattered.
“_____,” you mumbled out, suddenly as nervous as a schoolchild talking to their crush and as tongue-tied.
“_____,” he repeated, singing every syllable like your name was the prettiest song, “Nice to meet you, _____.”
“Nice to meet you too,” you singsonged back, a slow smile stretching your lips.
(It—him, the butterflies, the beginning of what was about to come—was not nice. But, how could you have known?)
He stretched out his hand toward you, a wide grin on his face. A crease formed between your brows, and you shook your head.
“Wanna compare hand sizes?” he asked, giggling a bit at his own question. “I know it’s really cheesy, but—"
“Don’t worry about it, Felix,” you cut him off, a laugh of your own tumbling past your lips. “I get it.”
You didn’t. You truly didn’t. But, his eyes, his smile, his entire being had a hold on you that you couldn’t explain. All you knew was you were willing to give this boy your entire heart, even if it meant never getting it back again.
So, what was the deal with giving him your hand?
As he put his hand against yours, you could feel every ridge of his palm. There were rough callouses on his flesh, probably from his time spent playing basketball for the school, but they felt smooth to you. His hand, small and warm, squeezed yours—sending the butterflies dancing and soaring, breaking out of your chest and into a tiny nook in your heart.
Your heart felt like a chrysalis. With every stray glance, whispered conversation, and shy laugh, it beat and rustled, as the butterflies shifted inside—itching to be let out. It stung, sent a bone-deep ache through your body, but you loved it. The ache was a reminder of your love, after all.
There was a time the chrysalis almost shattered, a time you almost lost your heart.
“Choi Yeonjun?” Felix’s eyebrows narrowed, a wary expression on his face. “Yeah, I’ve heard of him. … Why?”
You only studied his guarded features for a second (you should’ve studied them longer, dissected them till you found the answer), before smiling cautiously. “He’s my best friend. I promised to introduce him to the guy I‘ve been ditching him for.”
He laughed his warm rich laugh that you loved so much (but you didn’t notice strained this particular time). An eyebrow raised, he leaned across his centre console. “_____,” he singsonged, the way he always did, “You’ve been ditching him for me? Tsk, tsk.”
“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes, but you didn’t mean it. You never did. “He’s been wanting to meet you, since I’ve only called you ‘blond boy.’”
Felix’s laughter ceased slowly, his eyes narrowing. “Blond boy?”
Closing the distance between you two, you ruffled his bright, blond hair. (You didn’t notice the note of discomfort on his face as) you smiled brightly. “Yeah, it’s a cute, little nickname I gave you. ‘Suits you perfectly.”
“Yeah,” he chuckled, quietly and hollowly, “But, I’m the only blond boy in our school. I’m pretty sure Yeonjun knows who I am already.”
You snorted, giving his nose a little boop before moving away—butterflies hammering away in your heart, the chrysalis, all the while. “Well, you’re not the only blond boy I know. I could be talking about anyone, for all he knows.”
He nodded, but his gaze was growing distant—flickering towards his rearview mirror. “So, when do you want us to meet? I’m not free this afternoon. Mina has an important recital she wants me to attend.”
At the mention of his girlfriend, the butterflies ceased their flapping and your heart almost dropped into your stomach.
You’d known, from the second you two locked eyes till now, that he had a girlfriend. Yoo Mina, a kind and cheerful brunette who mostly kept to herself, was dating Lee Felix, star of your school’s basketball team. In theory, the couple didn’t make sense. How could someone who kept to herself date such an outgoing and popular guy? But, watching the way she doted on him and the way he smiled the widest around her, you knew there was no space for anyone else in either of their hearts.
(It was no wonder the butterflies were only in your heart.)
The chrysalis was struggling to stay intact, but you urged your heart to hold on—to not give up on your butterflies, just yet. (Would things have turned out differently, if you’d let them just die?) “Right, Mina’s recital. I, I’ll, uh, ask Yeonjun when he’s free. Then, we can arrange something. Mina can come too, if you want.”
(Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea.)
He smiled, an uneasy one that mirrored how you were feeling. “Sur—”
And then, the bell went off and you two were whisked away from each other again, back into your usual routines.
A hard shell grew around your chrysalis.
Mentions of Felix made the butterflies sing a song with their wings, and shield themselves from whatever words were uttered at the same time. The sight of Mina slowed their wings, almost to a complete standstill, while the vines holding the chrysalis intertwined with your lungs. Any time Felix and Yeonjun were within the same vicinity, you would seize up, the butterflies crawling up your throat until you could taste their velvety wings and nothing else.
It hurt, guarding your love for Felix and burying it deep down inside, but you couldn’t think of any other way to preserve it.
(Maybe you shouldn’t have.)
The only times you could break down the shell, bare your love in its purest form, was when it was you and him alone. You would hide your love in the curve of your smile, tucking it in the folds carefully so he—and, he alone—was the only one who saw it. Many times, between exchanged glances, you would confess your love over and over again—the words bleeding from your eyes. To others, your lips were straight, expressionless and empty. But, to him, they were constantly moving, twisting, to sing a song of your effervescent love.
(Sometimes, you wondered if he even received your love—if he let you undress it before him, in the first place.)
So, your chrysalis’s shell nearly melted when, one late night shift, Yeonjun asked, “Since when were you and Felix friends?”
Blue Diner was empty, it almost always was once the moon was high up in the sky, save for you, Yeonjun, and your coworker in the back. Yet, still, Yeonjun’s words managed to shock you so much that you lost count of the money in your hand, groaning before you started all over again.
“Twenty-two thousand, twenty-three thousand—”
“_____?” he asked again, eyebrows raised, “If you don’t want to answer, don’t. But, don’t pretend I didn’t say anything. Please.”
Your eyes flickered between him and the money in your hand. Putting it aside, you rested your chin on the cash register. “I wasn’t pretending you didn’t say anything… I, I just didn’t know how to answer. It’s a bit complicated.”
He nodded, veiling his eyes before you could figure out what the disappointment in his eyes meant.
“To be honest… I don’t know how it started,” you shrugged, a smile stretching your lips without you even realising it, “It’s kinda like us. One day, we were strangers, and then the next, we’re closer than ever. Like… magic almost. A magical bond.”
“A magical bond?” he whispered sardonically, more to himself than you. He could already feel the bitterness seeping into his heart, something he told himself he wouldn’t allow to happen. Yeonjun cleared his throat and asked, despite the obvious answer in your eyes, “You don’t… you don’t have feelings for him, right?”
“What?” Again, his question caught you off guard, stealing your breath from you for a moment. Your chest expanded with every passing moment, giving the butterflies room to panic around in your heart, until you couldn’t take it anymore. Letting go of the breath you were holding in, you collapsed your lungs, sending the butterflies into a temporary state of orderliness. “No, no. He has a girlfriend, come on.”
“If he didn’t though?”
Your eyes, which were focused on the register, slowly met Yeonjun’s. Like always, it was hard to decipher what was in his eyes. All you could make out was a warning, and the deep sorrow he always carried around with him.
What was he warning you about? (Why didn’t you listen?)
“I… I don’t. Him having a girlfriend doesn’t affect that.” You smiled through your lie—such a feeble one, that you knew both of you could see through.
But, as he sighed deeply, it was easy for you to pretend he didn’t know the truth. That he couldn’t see the love practically dancing in your irises. And, it was easy for him to pretend he didn’t know the truth. That he couldn’t feel the faint flutter of butterfly wings in his own chest.
The butterflies were growing tired of your heart. They wanted to fly, to soar, to explore the skies. But, behind a shell, and a chrysalis so weak and tender, you kept them hidden away. And, as time went on, they grew restless and impatient.
They needed to be let out.
(And, they would be.)
One day, Felix offered them the release they so desperately wanted. With a smile you hadn’t seen before, eyes that’d previously been reserved for Mina and Mina only, he asked you if you needed a ride home.
“What about Mina?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder like she was there right behind you—tutting at your eagerness to see her boyfriend. “Don’t you usually drive her home?”
His smile widened. “Don’t worry about her.”
(You should’ve. Should’ve worried so much about her. But, you trusted Felix.) Nodding once, you whispered back, “Sure. Walk me there from my last class? It’s World History with Mr. Jeon.”
“Mhm.” You weren’t sure, but as you stared at his smile again, there was a glimpse of the love you’d given him hidden in his smile’s curve. The butterflies beat their wings faster at that. They were ready to soar.
And, later, in the backseat of his car, they soared. (Oh, they soared alright.)
Felix leaned in close to you, thumb dangerously close to your lips, and whispered, “You know, since I first saw you in that class, I liked you. ‘Couldn’t get you off my mind.”
Your breath hitched, the butterflies fluttered at an alarming speed, and you couldn’t take your eyes off his lips. Cupping the side of his face, you asked, “But, what about Mina? I… This is wrong. You’re hurt—”
“I told you not to worry about her,” he smiled a reassuring smile, holding the hand on your jaw, “We broke up. To be honest, our relationship wasn’t doing well for a long time. Even before you entered the picture. We were telling ourselves we still loved each other when that was the furthest thing from the truth. I let go of her because… the person I really love is you. I love you, _____.”
All at once, your lungs filled with air once again, and the butterflies tore out of your chrysalis your lungs, your being. They danced around you, their wings flapping like they’d never before, as you whispered your confession back to Felix. Wide smiles stretched your lips, he whispered soft words in your ear, and then he kissed you. Felix kissed you, slow and steady, to the tune of the butterflies’ wings. And, though, there was a hole where your heart used to be, you were happier than you’d ever been.
(You didn’t know that happiness came at a price—a heavy price.)
You didn’t have to worry about the butterflies anymore. They were out of your chest, soaring out in the open for everyone to see, just like they’d wanted.
In your chest, there was a huge hole, a torn mass of flesh and blood that used to house them, but every one of Felix’s kisses stitched a piece of it back together.
Felix’s kisses were a remedy. He kissed you between classes, in empty hallways no one could spot you two in. He kissed you in his car during lunch, teasing you about how flustered you would get. He kissed your knuckles when no one was watching, smiling at you as he did so. Your forehead, your cheeks, the spots behind your ears—there was almost nowhere Felix didn’t kiss.
(You didn’t know he sucked a bit of life out of you with every pepper of his kisses.)
And, just as they remedied you, they hurt you as well.
One October morning, when the air was damp but the sun wasn’t shining, Felix pulled you aside to kiss you before one of your classes. It was chaste, yet filled with so much love. So much love that you didn’t notice someone was watching you two, till he was ripped away from you.
A teary Mina stared between you two, lips wobbling. “W… W-what’s going on here?”
Your eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Again?” Slowly, a tear slid down Mina’s cheek and she didn’t bother wiping it away. She turned away from you, anger growing in the depths of her eyes. “You told me last time was a mistake, Lix! That he kissed you!”
If you still had a heart, you were sure it would’ve fallen into the depths of your stomach. But, you didn’t. So, you could only stand there, paralysed, as Felix refused to look into either of your eyes.
“Mina, I can explain. _____ kissed—”
“Shut up!” All you could see was her back, but you could feel the waves of anger rippling off from her. “You can’t fool me this time, Felix. I, I talked to him the other day—can you believe it? I never thought I’d say that.”
Felix’s eyes widened, and—for the first time—you felt a different, darker type of fluttering within you at the sight.
He stuttered out, “W-wait, Mina, don’t—”
“And, you know what he… your ‘friend’ told me?” Mina turned back to you, her eyes red and her face flushed. “He saw you two kissing in the back of your car last week!”
You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t. The chrysalis’s vines had left punctures in your lungs, the butterflies had filled your throat with mush, and your heart was no longer. Was this—this toe-curling, stomach-fluttering—feeling heartbreak? But, how could your heart break when it wasn’t there to begin with?
Tears pricked your eyes, as you touched your lips—the lips Felix had kissed. “You,” your voice broke halfway through, tears and butterfly fluid choking you up, “y-you lied to me? You never broke up with Mina?”
Felix’s eyes landed on yours, pleading—and, though you hated to admit it, you wanted to forgive him—and wide. But, they didn’t stay on yours. They flickered back to Mina’s, just as pleading and as wide too.
“_____, Mina, I’m—”
You had had enough.
Wiping away at the tears dotting your cheeks, you turned your back on Felix and extended a hand in Mina’s direction. You’d never thought you would be here, picking Mina over Felix, but here you were. She accepted your hand, throwing one last glare in her boyfriend’s—ex-boyfriend’s—direction before attempting a smile at you.
And, as you two walked off together, tears still streaming down your faces, you knew you would never be able to feel those butterflies again.
copyright 2021 doievoir, all rights reserved. no translations or reposts are allowed.
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Chan: Prepare for glory
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skz reaction: shutting him up with a kiss
genre: the fluffiest of fluffs
note: danni writing something that isn’t straight smut for once dun dun dun :o
Chan stilled the moment your plush lips pressed themselves against his own, words dying on his tongue and eyes widening before slowly slipping them shut, relaxing in your hold and responding softly to your unexpected kiss. He whined lightly once you teasingly pulled away, chasing after your lips, flustered and eager to keep your mouth on his. Definition of brain rot, whatever he was ranting about before he got a taste of your lips suddenly didn’t matter. He’ll stare after you in disbelief, ears red as you shot him a cheeky smile, dodging his attempts to cuddle you against his chest, knowing full well you’d spend the rest of the day being smothered in his doting.
“C’mon! You can’t just leave me hanging like that.”
Minho was quick and eager to respond to your kiss, a soft hum emitting into your mouth as he titled his head to keep you flush against him, not minding one bit that you just interrupted him mid sentence. He didn’t allow you to pull away, your plan to leave him flustered and stuttering backfiring as he kissed you sweetly, his pillowy lips melding perfectly against your own in a loving embrace. Expect to be relentlessly teased once he finally lets you go, fingers pinching your cheeks and mocking the pout that rested on your lips, grinning at the sight of your complaining figure shying away.
“You know, if you wanted to kiss me so badly you could’ve just said so.”
Changbin immediately swallowed his words the moment your lips pressed against his own in a chaste kiss, swiftly pulling away just as he began to respond, the boy following your movement before huffing loudly once you continued to deliberately avoid his lips. The small pout that sat on his soft lips was just too damn cute, almost making you just want to give in and finally smother him in your pecks but you couldn’t help but tease his him even further; leaning in to press another teasing kiss to the side of his mouth. Changbin whined when you ducked out of his grasp once more, the conversation from before long forgotten as you darted away from him, leaving your flushed boyfriend to curse after you.
“Ah, you brat!”
If he was in any way surprised or taken-back by your sudden affection he didn’t show it - hands gently craving your face to prevent you from pulling back, kissing you sweetly. Hyunjin thought it was extremely cute, albeit rude, your method of shutting him up, any concerns or worries he was ranting about before immediately being coaxed by the plushiness of your lips, each of you enjoying the others closeness. This man will not allow you to pull away from the kiss until he’s felt you’ve paid the price for your boldness; plump lips keeping you fixated in your spot, before proceeding to tease for the rest of the day, gushing over how adorable he thought it was that you couldn’t seem to keep your lips off him.
“You’re too damn cute.”
Jisung stilled up and gaped at you once you began leaning towards him, sentence trailing off with no real end when you pressed a teasing peck against his mouth, cutting off his words and effectively shutting him up for once. He becomes uncharacteristically timid during your kiss, used to being the initiator of skinship in your relationship so to say he was surprised by your unexpected kiss was an understatement - ears tinting red and mouth moving gently against your own. Avoids your eyes once you pull away, trying to play off how timid you’ve made him by opting to tease you instead, a slight waver in his voice while doing so.
“You really couldn’t resist me huh?”
Practically turns into a pile of mush the moment you kiss him - he wouldn’t even bother questioning your actions or returning to the previous conversation when you pull away from the swift peck, instead pressing another long kiss against your plush lips, savouring the small sighs and whimpers you let out. His absolute favourite pastime is kissing you, so he’ll use your plan to shut him up to his advantage; lips melding perfectly against your own and cradling you close to his chest drawing out the embrace until he was satisfied. Amusement shone in his dark eyes after you broke apart, chuckling softly at your flushed cheeks before leaving one last peck against your mouth; happy that he was finally able to fluster you instead.
“Can I finish what I was saying now?”
Seungmin was a tad annoyed that you had interrupted him but his irritation immediately ceased once he registered the soft pair of lips pressed against his own. He’ll softly reciprocate to begin with, becoming more passionate and heated the longer he kissed you. Pulls you flush against his chest and nips at your lower lip - your initial plan of leaving him hanging suddenly becoming irrelevant with every small swipe of his tongue and gentle caress. He’ll gently cradle your face while pulling away, leaving small pecks against your mouth while doing so, seemingly unable to get enough of your lips pressed to his own. Seungmin wouldn’t be able to remember what he was speaking of before, only wanting to feel the softness of your lips against his again and again.
“If I keep talking does that mean I’ll get more kisses?”
Someone please help this man cause he’ll go straight into windows.exe shutdown mode the moment you lean up towards him. Freezes up against you and doesn’t know where to place his hands, mind completely empty of whatever he was saying before; focusing on the softness of your lips moving against his own. Your hands tangled themselves in his hair, gently playing with the short strands at the back of his neck - coaxing low groans from him - ensuring whatever remnants of the conversation beforehand no longer existed, the boy focusing solely on your pouty lips. A small whine sounded from his chest as soon as you pulled away, eyes still closed and chasing after your lips. He’ll for sure talk your ear off in future to gain more kisses.
“So being annoying is the best way to get you to pay attention to me? Noted.”
© seungisms — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
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touch | chan
pairing: bang chan/reader
word count: 7.2k
genre: romance, werewolf au, frenemies-to-lovers
warnings: swearing, dirty talk, hot and heavy making-out, reader is a capital-B Brat, blood (chan’s got those gnarly-looking claw-marks on his back and chest), yes this was entirely inspired by that wolfgang performance
Then, he finally notices the first-aid kit in your hand, and he changes.
The corners of his lips turn up, twisting into a smirk. He raises his chin, one eyebrow arching at the sight of you. It’s a smug, quietly dangerous look from Chan that you’ve never seen before. One that sets your nerves on edge, has the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.
“Why?” Chan asks, and his hand drifts up to undo his top button. “Are you here to play nurse?”
There’s something wrong with Chan.
You notice immediately, trying to stay discreet as you watch through the window at the boys as they wander out of the forest, stretching limbs, ruffling dishevelled hair.
You’re still getting used to the whole werewolf thing.
It had only been a few months ago that you had returned from a semester abroad to find that your life-long best friend, Felix, had been bitten by some sketchy creep at a beach bonfire.
There’s no…lingering guilt about not being there. Or anything.
But Chan isn’t. That’s what you’re so focused on right now.
His expression is guarded, shoulders tense as he walks just a few steps behind the rest of the group. You watch Felix hang back a second, talking to him, saying something you can’t hear through the window. You see Chan shake his head, patting him on the shoulder, and when Felix says something else, he moves his hand to the back of Felix’s head, scratching it affectionately.
You know objectively that Chan taking in Felix was one of the best things to happen for him. From the little you’ve gleaned about werewolves, you know that packs work like a support network. A new family. It’s good for him.
It just…chafes a little that you’re not a part of it. It feels unfair that the only way to regain that position you once held in Felix’s life would be to get bitten too, suffer through the painful transition, disconnect from society, spend days and weeks and months of your life as a mindless animal ready to attack and maul any living thing in sight–
You catch it. Just barely.
You don’t think anyone else has noticed. You think you only caught it because Chan hasn’t noticed you looking.
Hasn’t noticed you.
You were surprised when Chan approached you a few weeks ago with a proposition. It was a simple enough request – staying at their cabin while the full moon happened, house-sitting while they spent the better part of three days doing their wolf stuff. You could catch up on your schoolwork, spend a few days alone to collect your thoughts.
It was nice. Quiet. Maybe a little lonely. But still nice.
You just didn’t see why you were needed. And Chan didn’t really do much to make you feel wanted either.
The other boys like you, you think. Felix obviously adores you, and the others joke around with you and share smiles and try to give you teasing little compliments when they think they can break you down, make you blush. It hasn’t worked so far, but it’s cute that they’re trying.
But Chan’s different. So warm to his boys, so committed to the role as pack leader – but there’s something off in the way he acts with you. Being a wolf, being a leader, is so intrinsic to his being and it’s all meaningless to you. He has no authority over you. He has nothing in common with you.
And he’s intimidating as fuck.
The first of the group finally make it to the door, filing in as they laugh raucously about some inside joke Felix might catch you up on later.
“Is there anything to eat?” Jisung asks, eyes alight.
You scowl. “Why are you asking me? You think I waited around all weekend, cooking you guys dinner?”
You had made it clear from day one that you weren’t going to be some house mother to these guys, some kind of Wendy to their Lost Boys. You had your own life, and you were doing them a favour just by agreeing to stay in such an isolated cabin, miles away from the rest of civilisation.
But as Jisung’s face slowly turns guilty, his gaze shifting to the floor as he is undoubtedly recalling this same conversation, you can’t help but sigh. “…I tried following Felix’s cookie recipe yesterday. There’s some left in the fridge.”
Jisung’s face lights up, and you try hard to keep your expression neutral when he leans in and kisses your cheek. “Cute.”
You shove him away, scowl firmly back in place. “Only the burned ones are left. Fucking help yourself, asshole.”
Jisung just laughs, already heading for the fridge.
Hyunjin, who had followed right behind him, gives you a smile as he takes a seat at the kitchen counter, attempting to tease out a stray twig knotted in his hair. “Thanks for staying.”
You shrug. “Eh. I got some quiet time. Managed to finish outlining my dissertation. It wasn’t the worst weekend, I guess.”
Seungmin is the next to wander through, and you notice the rips in his shirt, the way his right sleeve hangs off his arm in tatters. Felix has informed you of the perils of clothing as a werewolf, how easily things can rip and snag when you don’t quite have the transformation under control yet. It’s hard to undress when you’re literally in the middle of turning in to a big scary man-sized wolf, you suppose.
Jeongin’s shirt is open, every single button apparently a casualty of transforming, seams along his sleeves and sides burst. He passes you by with a sheepish grin, hair mussed, shoulders straightened out just a touch at the sight of you.
Felix throws his arms around you as soon as he walks through the door, shouting his greeting in your ear. He’s practically vibrating, still on the high of adrenaline from whatever wolfy things he did this weekend. Chased deer? Howled at the moon, maybe?
“-so cool, he just pounced on this bear, you wouldn’t believe it. Our Jeonginnie’s getting so strong!”
You close your eyes, burrowing your face in Felix’s shoulder for a second as he recounts the weekend’s escapades in breathless excitement.
Definitely lonely, you think. This weekend has definitely felt lonely.
When you open your eyes, you catch sight of a pair of thick black boots, marching past you. By the time you glance up, you only catch the barest glimpse of Chan’s back retreating from you as he heads up the stairs in silence.
“What’s up with Chan?” You ask, blinking.
“Huh?” Felix pulls away from you to turn, following your gaze to the now-empty staircase. “Uh, nothing much. He always gets kind of quiet after we transform back. It’s kind of intense, especially for him. He’ll be fine.”
You think back to that limp, the way Chan’s body had faltered when he thought no one was looking.
These boys are tough. You know that they’re strong, resilient and heal supernaturally fast. You’ve maybe seen them hurt once or twice, with bruises or scrapes that heal up in about an hour.
You have never seen Chan, the great and fearless pack leader, hurt – and you have definitely never seen him limping like that.
It piques your curiosity.
“Just give me a sec,” you murmur, squeezing Felix’s arm. You turn to the rest of the room, barely sparing a glance at the way Changbin opened the snack cupboard with so much force that he almost ripped the handle clean off. “You guys eat. Maybe wash up a little. I don’t wanna use the phrase ‘wet dog’ but–”
Minho flashes you a grin, and throws up one long, delicate middle finger in your direction.
You purse your lips, blowing him a kiss, before turning on your heel and heading up the stairs after Chan.
His room is at the very end of the hallway. You pass by the bathroom on the way to it, and in a moment of inspiration, you quickly stop there to grab the first-aid kit you kept stocked under the sink.
Chan’s bedroom door is, of course, firmly shut when you arrive. You knock, gently at first, at least making the attempt at politeness. When he doesn’t answer, you try again even harder.
You resort to pounding your fist against the door. “Chan?”
“…Not now,” finally came the response, the irritation in his tone clear even through the muffling of the wood.
“Not in the fucking mood.”
You blink at his terse response, before scoffing. Rude.
“Channie,” you sing-song, unable to resist winding him up just a little. “Channie, are you in there?”
“Leave me alone.”
You actually take a step back, staring in shock at the door.
You’ve only heard Chan use that voice on a handful of occasions before. Felix described it as Chan’s ‘alpha voice’ (even after you tried to explain to him that the concept of alpha wolves had already been disproven in science decades ago, “just ask David Mech–”) reserved only for the most serious of situations.
It was something only leaders had, a tone of voice that could bend the will of his pack members, force them to obey whatever he commanded.
Of course, with you not being a werewolf, that ‘alpha voice’ did jack-fucking-shit.
“Oh, scary. Chan’s all grumpy today,” you drawl, stepping forwards again. “I’m not leaving until you let me in, asshole. Now open the fucking door.”
There’s a pause. A long pause.
And then a sigh.
You’re already smirking when the lock turns, and the door slowly swings open to reveal Chan’s thunderous expression. “What do you want?”
“The pleasure of your company,” you retort, already trying to muscle your way in through the gap in the door.
Your shoulder makes contact with his side, shoving against it, and you jolt in shock when Chan reels back, wincing as his hands immediately flew to his ribs.
Something was wrong.
You shut the door behind you, expression softening as you take in the sight of him.
His white shirt is streaked with dirt and grass stains, possibly salvageable with a long hot wash, nothing out of the ordinary. There’s a bright sheen of sweat covering his skin, clinging to the hair at his temples. His jaw is clenched, his nose flaring as he tries to breathe deeply. His whole body is tensed up.
He’s in pain.
You falter, unsure exactly how to deal with this situation now that you had forced your way into it.
Chan makes a face, turning away from you as he straightens up, pulling his hands away from his side. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit. You’re hurt.”
“It’s nothing. Leave it.”
Chan closes his eyes, letting out another long sigh through his nose. “Has anyone ever told you how irritating you are?”
“Frequently. It’s one of my charms. What happened?”
His eyes open, and he fixes you with one long, appraising stare. “…You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“The boy catches on fast,” you comment. “What was it? Felix said something about a bear–”
Chan actually chuckles at that – well, you can almost call it a chuckle. A sharp exhale of air that sounds amused as Chan rolls his eyes. “No, it wasn’t the bear,” he says, like it’s obvious.
“So, what was it?”
He falls silent again.
You frown, eyes narrowing at his stubbornness.
Well, two can play at that game.
You turn away from him, wandering over to his neatly made bed and dropping your rear onto it with a graceless thud. You sit there on the edge, legs crossed. You raise an eyebrow, challenging him.
The message is clear – you’re not leaving until you get answers.
Chan’s expression is unreadable as he eyes your new position. “…Get off my bed.”
You smile, and lean back, planting your hands into the soft sheets behind you. “Maybe if you tell me what’s wrong.”
He just stares at you, eyes burning.
You decide to change tactics. Voice softening, you tilt your head as you look up at him. “This is…this is how I show concern. OK? I’m concerned.”
Your words draw out the slightest hint of softness in Chan’s eyes, and you know immediately. Got him.
He swallows, and with a final sigh, he shifts his weight from one foot to another. “Jeongin…he’s getting strong. Maybe too strong. I was trying to help him transform back, and he…caught me.”
Your eyebrows shoot up, your eyes widening in shock.
He quickly clarifies himself. “By accident, obviously.”
“And the others…haven’t noticed?”
Chan shrugs, then immediately hisses at the pain of it, tensing again for a few moments until he manages to regain his composure. “…They noticed. I just told them I was fine.”
“Of course you did.”
Chan has a talent in persuading people. He’s got this raw charisma about him, the kind that could make you believe anything he wanted if he gave you enough attention, said just the right things.
“How bad is it?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“That’s nice. How bad is it?”
Your tone is sharp, sickeningly sweet. There’s something in you that takes a grim kind of pleasure in condescending to Chan, that enjoys disrespecting him when so many of his pack members seems to worship the ground he walks on.
It’s also the precise way to really push his buttons – which, of course, is a big part of the fun.
Instantly, his expression hardens, and his eyes are back to that burning kind of fury as he glares across the room at you.
Then, he finally notices the first-aid kit in your hand, and he changes.
The corners of his lips turn up, twisting into a smirk. He raises his chin, one eyebrow arching at the sight of you. It’s a smug, quietly dangerous look from Chan that you’ve never seen before. One that sets your nerves on edge, has the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.
“Why?” Chan asks, and his hand drifts up to undo his top button. “Are you here to play nurse?”
His tone is mocking, pointed – a perfect reflection of your own.
His hand travels down to the second button.
He’s trying to intimidate you, scare you into submission, send you running out the door.
You grip the kit even tighter in your hand, and watch as he undoes that button too.
“Oh, no. Not skin, Channie,” you remark, voice just a touch too strained for your liking. “Anything but that.”
He ignores you, moving onto the third and then the fourth, shirt gaping open to reveal more and more of his torso as his hands travelled.
This is starting to venture into unfamiliar territory.
But you hold your ground regardless, watching as more and more of his body became exposed.
It’s…it’s a nice body. Lean. Defined. Chan clearly takes care of himself. Works out.
You’re unable to resist following the lines of an emerging six-pack, fading and sharpening with each of his breaths.
You swallow. “…Chan, if you’re just trying to show off–”
He slips the shirt off entirely, and your words catch in your throat.
He’s so broad. It’s one thing to see him under clothes, but it’s entirely different to see him stripped so bare, to see the meat of his shoulders and biceps, to see just how big he is.
And normally, your attention would be all over that.
But it’s not.
Because your gaze is caught on the marks on his chest, some still bleeding, some turned shiny and pink as Chan heals himself.
You rise up from the bed immediately, almost jumping to your feet, at the sight.
Chan pauses for just a fraction of a second at your sudden movement. “Wh–”
“Get on the bed,” you order him, no trace of humour in your tone. It is all business, all urgency.
Chan blinks at your words, mouth opening to respond.
“Now,” you snap, looking him over again. “They need to get cleaned out before they heal over, genius. Get on the bed.”
It takes a second for your words to sink in, and his expression shifts when he finally grasps what you’re trying to tell him.
And then, Chan makes the very smart decision to do what you say, brushing past you as he walks towards his own bed and slowly sits down with a wince. “…Go on, then.”
You nod, making your way back to the bed and climbing up onto the mattress, crawling around Chan to check out the damage to his back.
You’re faced with scores of angry claw-marks, cuts still oozing blood as they decorate his shoulders, his ribs, even the small of his back.
“What the fuck, Chan?” You hiss under your breath, fingers fumbling with the zip of the first-aid kit as you scramble to open it.
“Is it bad?” He asks, his voice so fucking casual.
You can’t even form a response, thoughts too tangled up in the state of his back. You dig for the antiseptic wipes, not exactly ideal for the situation but probably the best thing you had for cleaning these wounds.
“This is going to sting,” you warn, barely giving Chan time to brace himself before you press the wipe to the first of the cuts.
He grunts at the pain, teeth gritted as he tries to bite back any more sound. Of course he’s trying to tough this out.
You’re silent as you try to fix up the worst of his cuts, making do with what you have. The best thing would be to get him under running water – less of a chance of damaging the skin that way.
But considering you had enough of a time just convincing him to let you help him, you doubt you’d be able to persuade him to leave the safety of his bedroom and chance an encounter with his packmates on the way to the bathroom.
So, antiseptic wipes it is.
You finish off the back, applying appropriate dressing to the worst of the cuts. The muscles of his back still tense under your touch, twitching under your fingers. As your panic slowly eases with each treated wound, it’s getting harder and harder not to notice the way he’s built, the grooves and dips of each muscle.
You swallow at the sight. It’s a…it’s a strong back, you suppose.
Gently, very gently, you run your fingers across the planes of his back, paying close attention to the way it shifts underneath. “Any…like, muscle pain? Tightness? Aches?”
“…No. Honestly, it doesn’t even hurt much now. I’ll be fine in, like, an hour.”
You nod, moving your hand away. You’ve seen the effects of wolf healing first-hand. “OK. I’m…I’ll do your front now.”
Chan pauses, before shifting backwards by just a few inches. You shuffle on your knees to his side, watching as he finally settles, before turning his face to meet your gaze. He holds it, very carefully, before slowly leaning back, expression neutral.
Leaving more than enough room for you on his lap.
This feels like another test, you think to yourself, as you eye him with suspicion. Another power-play, meant to throw you off.
You think Chan doesn’t like it when he’s not in control. He’s not used to it.
“What?” Chan says, breaking you out of your trance. “You said you’d do my front. Don’t you need to hurry, before they close up?”
There’s a layer to his tone, the barest hint of challenge, and it has you straightening up in seconds, ready to face him head-on.
Fine. If he really thought he could break you like this, he had another thing coming.
With all the grace and self-assurance you could muster, you crawl back over to him, swinging one leg over him to plant both knees either side of his hips, straddling him without even batting an eye.
“Stay still,” you demand, gripping his shoulder with one hand as you shift your weight around, trying to get comfortable as you hover just a few inches above his lap.
Chan is silent, and somehow that’s even worse than when he was trying to provoke you earlier. You can feel his breath ghost against your ear, hear the tiniest little noises he made whenever you reached a new wound.
And fuck, his chest. His shoulders. His abs. Everything. Just…there’s a lot to take in. If you’re not careful, you’re going to get distracted.
Swallowing, you dab at one of the shallow cuts near his collarbone and finally speak up. “I guess I should say thanks for letting me stay here this weekend. I managed to get a shit-load of essay-reading done.”
Chan hums, and you feel the vibrations under your fingertips. “Good. Thanks for looking after the cabin while we were gone.”
“I still don’t think it was necessary,” you can’t help but add, trying to keep your tone light. “I didn’t really do much.”
“…Felix is always talking about wanting to spend more time with you,” Chan comments, and you pause at his words. “And you get on well with the others. You’re a good influence. Having you here seemed…like a smart idea at the time.”
“Seemed like? At the time?” You repeat, picking up on the subtle implications of his words. “Are you saying it wasn’t smart?”
“There are always risks,” Chan states, non-committal, eyes flickering to look at you. Naturally, your faces are incredibly close in this position – no more than a few inches apart. “Complications.”
“We always have to stay careful around you, especially around a full moon. You’re more fragile than we are.”
“That’s me,” you retort, sarcasm dripping from your every word. You bring your hand up to his chest to steady yourself as you move on to the next scratch. His skin is warm under your fingertips, smooth. “Delicate little flower that I am. Gotta handle me gently, or I’ll break.”
Chan hesitates before he answers, and when the words do come out, they’re very carefully spoken. “…I don’t know. Maybe you could take a little more.”
“No shit,” you say absently, finishing up the last of his cuts by his shoulder. All pretty superficial, guaranteed to heal in the next hour. “I’m tougher than I look, Channie. I can take a lot.”
Chan doesn’t respond, and when you glance up, you see that his eyes have fluttered shut. He’s taking slow, deep breaths – like he’s meditating, or about to fall asleep.
There’s the tiniest of scratches on his cheekbone.
Gently, very gently, you lift one hand to rest against his face – and his eyes snap open in panic to stare at you.
“You got a thing,” you manage to blurt out, pointing towards the scratch. “There. Just gonna…yeah, clean it. You don’t want something getting infected on your face.”
Honestly, a cut that small is probably not going to get infected – especially with how quickly Chan can heal.
You’re a completionist.
Chan stares at you, and for a brief moment, panic starts to take hold in your gut. Have you gone too far?
But instead, he just says. “You’re not usually this…nice.”
“You’d be amazed how nice I can be when you don’t avoid my very reasonable questions.”
“You mean, when you get your own way?”
Chan laughs, eyes still fixed on you. “You’re a bit of a brat, aren’t you?”
He probably just means it innocently, but the way he says ‘brat’, the tone of his voice…
You take a deep breath, fighting back the flush that threatens to creep into your face. “Sometimes. It’s another one of those charms I was talking about.”
Chan doesn’t have a response to that. Maybe he wasn’t expecting you to agree.
You shift again, as your attention turns to the next set of scratches, and by sheer accident, your fingertips catch his nipple. You feel him tense under you, breath escaping him in one sharp exhale, and he hisses. “Careful.”
“Sorry,” you mumble, but you can’t help but examine this new piece of information about Chan with amusement. Sensitive nips. How unexpectedly…cute. “You OK?”
“Mm-hm. Just finish this up quickly,” he says, and there’s an edge of urgency in his tone, a desire to really see you end this as soon as possible.
It sounds foolish, but it’s really only then that you realise just how compromising this position is. Like, objectively, you had known the whole time that you had been straddling Chan – but it had still felt like a game, a competition, a statement.
The idea that he just wanted this over with should feel like victory, but you find yourself a little caught off-guard.
You’re so caught up in these thoughts that you don’t think through your next action. You’re so focused on reaching for that last wound snaking around his rib, just a touch too low for you to reach with your legs in their current position. You just need to lower them, then you can reach, then you can finish. Easy.
That’s why you don’t think twice before you lower yourself onto his lap completely, completely intent on just cleaning the cut and moving on.
And then you feel it.
Something in his lap, not quite pressing up into you, but certainly there. Interested. Insistent.
Chan is getting hard.
Your eyes snap up to meet his, watching as he swallows, struggling to hide the new flush in his face.
“It happens sometimes, after a transformation. Body’s still trying to recover, hormones are all over the place. Ignore it.”
“…OK,” you nod, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s right, it does make some kind of logical sense that his body is still all out of whack from changing. Physiological reactions happen. Dudes pop boners for literally no reason sometimes. It’s fine.
Of course, you’d been around Felix several times after his transformations, ready with water and clean clothes and some good old-fashioned moral support. And never once had this happened.
You can’t help but comment on it – which maybe spoke volumes for your own self-preservation instincts. “I mean, it definitely can’t be the cute girl in your lap or anything.”
Chan stills at your words, and his response is definitely evasive. “…You’re calling yourself cute now, huh?”
“You say it like it’s not the objective truth,” you respond, gently dabbing at that deceptively deep cut on his ribs. He tenses with the pain, and in your new position, you can feel the way his thighs squeeze and harden, the way his breath cuts short. You swallow, feeling a little warm. “I’m decently attractive. I’m very aware of this. It seems you’re aware of it too.”
“What makes you so sure of that?”
You smile sweetly at the man under you, the picture of innocence. “Channie, your dick is literally poking me in the leg.”
To your surprise, he flushes at your words, quickly averting his gaze as he tried to keep his expression under control. “…It’s a wolf thing, not a you thing.”
You’re not so sure about that.
You don’t know what to do with this new knowledge. Chan – big, scary, pack leader Chan – finds you attractive. It fills you with a sense of…power. You have to fight to keep the smirk off your face, but there’s no mistaking the smugness growing inside of you with every passing second. “For a wolf thing, you’re very flustered.”
“Maybe it’s because you keep talking about my dick,” Chan mutters.
“You want me to stop?” You ask, only half-teasing. You’re not here to push any limits, make anyone feel uncomfortable.
And again, Chan’s response is evasive. “Are you actually capable of stopping?”
Testing a theory, your hand returns to the cut on his side, and carefully, you press down.
Chan makes the tiniest pained groan, hand flying up to grab at your hip, squeezing. The sudden contact is enough to jar you slightly, pushing you forward along the slowly growing bulge in Chan’s pants. His grip on your hip tightens.
“You did that on purpose,” Chan hisses through his teeth.
“Keeping pressure on that deep of a wound is important,” you say, shrugging. “I’m sure you can handle it, big guy.”
He growls – a low, rumbling sound from deep in his chest – and you roll your eyes.
You expect Chan to respond immediately, but he doesn’t. He’s quiet – no, he’s silent. His eyes stay fixed on you, and you’re starting to find the attention a little…much.
“You’ve never been scared of us,” Chan finally notes. “Have you?”
You blink. “Not particularly, no.”
And you really haven’t. As much as you’re aware of the danger they pose, the strength they possessed – hell, just look at the marks Jeongin left on Chan, by accident – you still found it difficult to summon any kind of real fear of them. They were just…dorky young men. Loud. Funny, in their own bizarre ways.
“I trust you,” you add, quietly.
Chan stares back at you, eyes widening just slightly.
You tilt your head. “You seem surprised.”
“I just…didn’t think you liked me very much.”
“…You’re OK, I guess.”
Chan raises an eyebrow at you.
“What you’ve done for Felix…you know, makes up for your personality.”
You’re being a little meaner than usual – probably to compensate for the growing warmth in the pit of your stomach every time you looked too long at Chan’s naked torso, or thought too hard about what you could feel beneath you.
Chan doesn’t seem to even notice.
Instead, he suddenly tilts his head, eyeing you very intently. His eyes narrow slightly.
“What?” You ask.
“You said you’re not scared?” Chan says, suddenly serious. Intent on something.
You’re somewhat wary when you reply. “Yeah. Of course I’m not.”
You jump, because suddenly Chan’s other hand slides around your neck. Not in a choking position – there’s no pressure at all, his palm is only covering the side of your neck, and his thumb is resting just under the corner of your jaw instead of anywhere near your windpipe.
It’s unexpected enough to render you completely silent for a moment, blinking at him in confusion.
And then you see the corners of his mouth turn up in that familiar smirk, and you feel the pad of his thumb press just a little more firmly into your skin.
“Thought I heard something,” Chan muses, vaguely, and it takes you a few seconds to realise…
His hand. His thumb.
He’s checking your pulse.
…Oh, stupid fucking wolf senses. Of course he could hear how hard your heart was beating – the one tell you couldn’t control.
It feels a little unfair, honestly.
He knows he has the upper hand now, and his entire body language changes with this information. He’s relaxed, open, ten times more confident as he watches you with that teasing smirk. “So, if you’re not scared, why–”
“Shut the fuck up,” you snap, fuming that he’s managed to one-up you with this stupid little supernatural advantage he has.
“I don’t think I will.”
The hand on your hip shifts just slightly, and his thumb presses into the dip of your hipbone, rubbing slow circles into the soft flesh there.
It’s irritatingly effective. You find your own thighs starting to twitch, core clenching.
Chan hums again, this time in amusement, and continues this movement. His other hand drops from your neck to rest on your other hip. It’s a strange balance – there’s no pressure there, his touch is so light but it’s almost…possessive.
The two of you are starting to drift a little close to the edge of something.
Chan is now unmistakeably hard, and you can feel him pressing up into your inner thigh – just a few inches off from your core. It’s taking a lot of willpower to stop yourself from shifting slightly over and getting that pressure right where you needed it. You’re glad you wore jeans today instead of a skirt – there would be no hiding the effect he was having on you without the extra layer of denim separating you from his lap.
“It seems like you’re done with that,” Chan notes, nodding his head towards the first-aid kit by your side, which has sat untouched for a while now.
You look down at it. “…Yeah, I’m finished. You’re all set.”
Despite your words, you make no attempt to leave his lap.
Chan notices, and his grip tightens around you. Not pulling you down onto him, but just…holding. Tightly.
There’s a moment of silence that settles between the two of you. You’re fixated on each other, like two opponents in a game of chess, regarding the other’s every move.
Being the first to give in almost seems like a defeat, an admission of weakness. But if you’re going to go down, you’re going to go down swinging.
Your hand snakes up into his hair, tangling itself in the roots and tugging his head up to meet yours when your lips come crashing down on his.
Chan groans into you, and that’s when he finally relents, squeezing your hips with his hands as he grinds you down onto him. The friction is enough to make you whimper, the embarrassing sound muffled but still painfully audible.
When you finally pull away for breath, Chan is already attacking your throat with kisses, insatiable. You imagine he’s this close to openly rutting up against you – and it’s that desperation that soothes your ego, allowing you to believe you’re saving face here. Does it really count as a defeat when Chan is so clearly the more eager one?
You barely get the chance to savour this thought, before one of Chan’s hands leaves your hip to slowly slide under your shirt, taking his time. He reaches your bra, and you feel him stroke the lacy edge of the cup.
You pause, still shivering with delight as Chan’s mouth finds the sensitive spot just under your ear, and gently mouths at it. “Chan–”
“Just let me know if you want to stop, baby,” Chan murmurs in your ear, breathy. His hand is still on the cup itself, and he makes no attempt to slip his hand underneath just yet.
“Of course I fucking will,” you bite back. It’s like a switch flipped in Chan the second you kissed him – suddenly so intent on taking control, on treating you like something delicate. Where’s the Chan from five minutes ago who wrapped his hand around your neck to prove a point, and argued with you over how his scratches needed treating?
It’s clearly time for you to flip that switch back.
Grabbing his chin firmly, you lifted his face back to yours to initiate another kiss. The hand on his chin slid up to cup his jaw, and you allowed him a few seconds to enjoy himself before you plucked up the courage to execute the first step of your plan.
You let your lips part under the pressure of his, and then suddenly nipped at his bottom lip, not quite drawing blood but certainly adding some pain to his pleasure.
Chan jolts back in shock, eyes blown ride as he reaches up and touches his bottom lip.
“Like I said,” you remind him, resettling your weight across Chan’s hips, ignoring the way he sucks in a breath when your movement sparks another delicious wave of friction. “Tougher than I look. Don’t start being gentle with me now.”
You accompany your words with a roll of your hips, dragging yourself across the front of his pants and this time Chan grips you hard enough to bruise.
You suppress a grin, and instead pat him on the shoulder, condescending. “I mean, unless you can’t handle it–”
Chan cuts you off, crushing his lips to yours, and the hand still on your hip slides around to slip down your jeans and grab at your ass-cheek. An embarrassing squeak escapes your lips, which only makes him even more smug when he murmurs. “Such a fucking brat.”
“Brat? What happened to ‘baby’?”
“Maybe if you start behaving again.”
You get a particularly strong urge to pout, but you figure that would only prove him right, so instead you do the next best thing.
You run one hand down his front, careful to avoid any lingering injuries, and find the button to his jeans. You manage to pop it open with one hand – a surprising display of dexterity, and you’re a little miffed that Chan isn’t suitably impressed – and you only fumble a little with the zipper as you tug it down.
You’re interrupted momentarily when Chan finally decides it’s time to slide his hand under your bra cup, and you bite down a whimper when the rough pad of his thumb brushes over your nipple.
Chan catches on, and focuses all of his attention on teasing that area, again and again. It’s a little embarrassing, how many sounds as he can draw out of you with just one fucking hand on your breast, but at this point, it’s getting a little too difficult to care.
You close your eyes, letting your head dip forward to rest against his, losing yourself in the feeling for just a little while.
You don’t notice that your hand has fallen completely away from his zipper, instead moving to grab at his thigh.
But, of course, Chan does. “Hm? Weren’t you trying to do something there?”
You open your eyes.
It’s probably a bit of a dirty tactic, but you can’t help yourself.
You drop your gaze, taking in a breath before biting your bottom lip. “I…uh…”
Chan blinks at this sudden change in your body language, and pauses. He doesn’t quite withdraw his hand from your breast fully, but his fingers start stroking patterns into your side. “You OK?”
“I’m fine, I’m good,” you make sure to clarify with him, before swallowing. “I’m just…a little worried.”
Already, Chan is settling back into his ‘leader’ role, preparing himself to reassure, to comfort. “What are you worried about?”
You try to keep a straight face. You fail miserably.
“You’ve been hard for so long, I’m worried you’re gonna cum in your pants the second your dick gets touched.”
You finally chance a look up at his face, lips pressing together as you try to contain your smirk.
And there it is, that fire in his eyes.
You definitely don’t have to worry about him going gentle with you now.
In the blink of an eye, Chan flips the two of you. Your back hits the mattress with a thud, and you barely have time to readjust before he’s got both hands on your hips again. Only this time, he’s lifting your ass up off of the bed, legs in the air, and in one smooth motion, pulls your jeans clean off.
Oh, that was hot.
That was…pretty fucking hot.
And now that your jeans are off, Chan has a clear view of just how much he’s been affecting you.
“Oh, baby,” he croons, sliding one hand up your inner thigh, coming to a rest at the edge of your soaked underwear. “Look at you.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
He just laughs, and your breath catches when he leans in. His hand moves away, and you feel his lips replace it, planting a kiss just off to the side of where you need it most.
It’s truly a sight, seeing Chan – shirt off, pants unbuttoned, shoulders tensing as he holds himself up by his forearms – between your legs.
You’re not going to beg this man.
…But you might find it in you to ask politely.
Suddenly, to your horror, there’s a knock at his bedroom door.
Chan jolts up, sitting back on his knees, looking down at you with pure panic.
The same thought runs through both your minds.
Shit. You didn’t lock the door.
Changbin’s voice comes through, muffled. “Hey, dude? You in there?”
Chan launches himself at the door, pressing both hands to it before Changbin can even attempt to open it. “Just a second!”
He turns back to look at you, hair mussed, eyes wide with panic.
You’re pretty sure the same can be said for you.
After a moment of blind panic, Chan has the sense to do up his jeans. You see the way his jaw tightens, eyes squeezing shut for a second when he has to dig his hand into pants to shove his erection down one side. It doesn’t do that much to hide what’s going on – and you feel yourself twitch at the thought of how fucking big Chan seems to be down there – but it’s better than nothing.
With one last futile attempt at fixing his hair, Chan lets out one last deep breath, and cracks open the door. “Yeah?”
You know you’re out of sight in your current position – with how small that gap is in the door, Changbin only has a narrow view of the far wall – but you still tense. Your legs quickly snap together, but you don’t risk trying to reach for your jeans to put them back on.
You hear Changbin speak once again. “Have you seen…oh, well obviously, you have–”
“What?” Chan interrupts, and you fight the urge to face-palm at how panicked he sounds.
“It looks like she’s patched you up,” you hear Changbin say, his voice slow, careful. He’s definitely picked up on something. “Did she say anything about going out? She’s not in her room, and the guys want to make dinner as a big thank you thing.”
It is so like the guys to decide to do something so sweet for you at exactly the wrong time.
“Nope. Not seen her,” Chan lies, forcing a shrug.
There’s a pause. A long pause.
“…Do you still have those headphones I lent you on the car ride here?” Changbin asks, sounding ever so innocent.
Chan swallows, and makes the mistake of looking behind him at the desk in the corner of the room. You spot the headphones resting there. “Yeah?”
“Can I grab them?”
“…Uh, don’t worry about it. I-I’ll get them for you now.”
Another pause, and you hear Changbin make one single step towards the door. Chan tenses, and pulls the door closer towards him, blocking even more of the room from sight. This time you do face-palm, as quietly as you can.
You see Chan staring ahead at what you can only assume is a Changbin who is slowly putting the pieces together, and there’s a long moment of silence before Changbin finally speaks. “…You know what? I don’t need them right now. You can just give them back tomorrow.”
Whatever Changbin’s expression is, it’s enough to send a pink flush up Chan’s neck. You hear him retreat back down the hallway, and Chan immediately slams the bedroom door shut, reaching for the lock and turning it. He even tries the handle again, pulling, just to make sure.
And then, finally, he turns to give you the most sheepish of looks.
You stare back.
And then your eyes slide back down to his jeans, which are still looking just as extraordinarily tight as before. Looks like Changbin’s interruption did very little to kill the mood for him.
And honestly, as the panic fades but the adrenaline still lingers – and this new sense of taboo, of getting away with something – you find yourself realising the exact same thing.
Slowly, you open your legs again, keeping your gaze fixed on Chan as his eyes drop to follow your movements.
Your voice is sweet, honeyed, only a little bit teasing.
“Weren’t you trying to do something there?”
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stray kids headcanons * . ･ﾟ✧͏ ͏attractive things they do !
chan — even when you guys are fighting and he’s mad at you, he’s still so caring; mid-argument while walking, he gently moves you away and lets you walk on the side of the road where there aren’t moving cars as he calmly and firmly explains why he’s upset. even when you’re not really speaking, he still offers to drive you home. by the end of the night, he texts you a simple ‘good night’ regardless of whether you reply or not.
minho — he uses his phone, sitting down on the edge of the bed with his legs spread wide, elbows resting on his thighs. when you come into the bedroom, his attention quietly diverts from the mindless scrolling to you, his soft and almost-lazy gaze following your movements while you take whatever you need from the room and make your way out the door.
changbin — casual pda. he always wordlessly slings his arm over your shoulder or takes his hand out of his pockets to hold your hand when you walk over to him. small kisses on the back of your hand when he's slightly distracted by his phone but still wants to show you affection while you're waiting for your coffee orders at the cafe. casual back-hugs at concerts or festivals and him leaving a peck on the top or back of your head.
hyunjin — he does this thing where he uses his index finger to lift your chin to make you look at him. it can be something as playful as making you pay your undivided attention when you’re jokingly ignoring him. or sometimes, when he sees you’re sad and upset about something and refusing to talk to him, he does this, his movements gentle, and his face calm as he searches your face then asks, “do you wanna talk about it, sweetheart?”
jisung — he likes leaning on the wall or a door frame when he talks to you, regardless of whether you’re in public or not. something about the lazy, carefree posture and the little tilt of his head while he looks at you does things to your heart. his eyes trail after you as move around the room or when you’re speaking to him and he can’t hear you well, he casually leans in closer to your lips to catch what you’re saying.
felix — his hand on your waist or back but non-sexually. when you’re in his way or blocking his way to something or somewhere, he gently moves you by the waist, casually saying “excuse me, baby” his voice deep and so low that only you can hear it. he also instinctively guides you through crowds by putting his hand on the small of your back.
seungmin — he says things like “come here, babe, watch this with me” when he finds a funny video on tiktok. “tell me about your day,” he says, plopping down on the couch next to you, his body turned completely towards your direction. “here, drink this,” he says, handing you a water bottle. it’s such a small thing but casual commands by him do a few things to your heart.
jeongin — when he feels shy or flustered, he does this thing where he rubs the back of his neck while bending his head down slightly and when he looks back up, he meets your gaze with a sheepish laugh or smile, his eyes twinkling, and his cheeks and ears endearingly flushed.
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𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 — cuddles with skz / skz with a cuddly s/o
「 chan 」 -> 찬
chan is one clingy guy. he finds you so adorable and he adores you with every fiber of his being, and he shows it through physical touch. he always has his arms wrapped around your waist, engulfing you in a comforting hug, or an arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you into his side before pressing a light kiss to your forehead.
as much as chan loves to cling onto you, he loves when you cling onto him equally as much. he does that shy giggle, his ears turning a bright red every time you grab onto his arm or kiss his jaw. he would particularly love when you hugged him from behind, your hands resting against his waist while you pressed little butterfly kisses along his back.
「 minho 」 -> 민호
minho would think you’re so cute. he doesn’t come off as the most cuddly or physically affectionate guy, however, i think he would love an s/o that’s all over him. he seems like the type to want to be needed to a certain extent and to have you, his love, want to be around him and cling off of him would be the biggest ego boost and the best way to put him in a soft mood.
he thinks it’s so adorable when you cling onto his arm or give him a lot of kithes. still, this wouldn’t stop him from teasing you and acting cocky. “aww, look at my little baby~” he’d coo at you, pinching your cheek and grinning at the way you gazed at him with that lovesick look. “you’re so cute, you can’t get enough of me, huh? your minnie?” he’d move his hand from your cheek to your chin, stroking the skin like he would one of his cats. minho would definitely treat you with same love and delicacy he does his cats.
「 changbin 」 -> 창빈
changbin loves having you close. it gives him a sense of security to be able to feel your skin next to his, and i think he really likes the idea of protecting you. so, i think he would be the type to show affection in that same type of way. he keeps his hand on the small of your back a lot, and he likes to be the big spoon when you lay down together.
changbin also likes to be productive while he's with you; he is a busy guy. i think he'd like to bring you to the studio a lot — especially when he has late nights — and have you sit on his lap, grinning to himself when he notices that you've dozed off.
he also loves to show you off, but not in a very showy-way? changbin respects you and your boundaries, so he wouldn't call attention to you if it was unwanted. still, he would adore when you cling onto him; especially in front of the boys. he'd wrap his arm around your shoulders and press you into his side, cooing softly and sending you the biggest heart-eyes.
「 hyunjin 」 -> 현진
hyunjin has always said that he doesn’t like skinship very much, but considering how cuddly he is with his members, he seems like the type to always return your hugs and kisses, if he’s not the initiating them in the first place.
hyunjin finds you so cute when you cling onto him, cooing at how it seemed as if you could never let go of him. “you’re so cute, baby~” he grinned, ruffling your hair, laughing at the way little strands got tangled together. “my little koala.”
「 jisung 」 -> 지성
jisung is the sweetest boy in the whole world, he’s always touching you in some way, with absolutely no shame at all. no matter if anyone was around or not, he would always have you cuddled up under his arm or hold your hand or being fully laying on top of you, arms wrapped around your torso and head buried in your neck.
he’d love you being cuddly and clingy, he’d think it was so adorable and it would show him that you love him in the same way he loves you. seeing you run up to him and throw yourself into his arms every time you saw him would make him the happiest boy, flashing that heart-shaped grin and laughing in that low voice he has.
jisung is also a rambler. when you lay together late at night, facing each other on his bed, his hand traveling across the limited space between your two bodies to lace your fingers together, he would always be mumbling in a stream of thought way about his day or anything that was on his mind really. “y/n, we did so good today at practice. it felt like we were all in sync, it was amazing...” and he’d go on until you dozed off.
「 felix 」 -> 필릭스
felix is the biggest cuddlebug, he loves being around you, being on you, anything that involves physical affection, he loves it. his favorite form of cuddles is laying down with you. he can be the little or big spoon, but there’s something that feels so right when he’s the little spoon, he loves being in your arms. however, there are days when he feels like using you as his personal teddy bear and hugging you as close to his body as he can.
i also think he would love to just lay on top of you, his head resting on your chest while he presses the softest of kisses to the junction of your neck and you thread your fingers through his hair. he whispers sweet nothings between his kisses, things like “you’re so cute, baby” and “i don’t know what i’d do if i didn’t have you.”
「 seungmin 」 -> 승민
seungmin is so unbelievably soft for you. every time you wanted hugs or kisses or cuddles, he would almost always cave. every time you snuggled up to him, he would ruffle your hair and laugh, teasing you in that soft voice of his. “what’s up, baby? you need me?”
i don’t see him being shy about it either, regardless of teasing. if you were around his members and wanted to cling onto him, he would let you, cooing at how much you liked being around him. i think his favorite lil cuddly habit of yours would be when you played with his fingers, lifting them and kissing them and moving them around in random patterns before opting to lace your own fingers through them instead. it would make him so soft, and he would always point out how small your hand looked next to his (his hands are so huge!).
「 jeongin 」 -> 정인
jeongin would get embarrassed, especially if you got cuddly around his members. only because he knows he would get teased mercilessly, and you would most likely get dragged into the teasing as well. however, behind closed doors — or just anytime you're alone — would be a different story.
jeongin doesn't seem like the type to show affection through touch unless you were the one who initiated it. when you snuggled up to his side while cuddling on a bed or couch, he would always lift an arm and let you get comfortable; or when you leaned up to kiss him, he would always return it with a smile and a little laugh. despite all this, i do think jeongin really likes to hold your hand. he'd always mindlessly thread his fingers through yours whenever you were together or grab your hand without thinking about it when he wanted to go somewhere. it's like a little habit of his.
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