a/n: all works are 18+ and contain smut | links will be updated as the fics come out! all fics release at 8.00 pm CST ❀ all works belong to me, calypso / hongism. do not copy, repost, or steal my work in any way
day 1: marking/biting - hwang hyunjin ❀ read here
- warnings: thigh marking/biting, oral sex f, fingering, cum eating, dirty talk, use of ‘kitten’ as a pet name
day 2: blindfolds - kang yeosang ❀ read here
- warnings: blindfolds, sensory deprivation, sensation play, temperature play, wax play, brief mentions of yeosang being a vampire, biting, explicit smut, unprotected sex, vampire!yeosang
day 3: spanking - han jisung ❀ read here
- warnings: punishment, spanking, dirty talk, degradation, edging, orgasm denial, fingering, slight humiliation, slight hard dom jisung
- warnings: explicit smut, unprotected sex, mirror sex, dirty talk, dom/sub themes, cum swallowing, dom!chan, sub!reader, semi-public sex
day 12: thigh riding - lee know ❀ read here
- warnings: semi-public sex, thigh riding, grinding, marking, caught in the act
day 13: cock warming - lee felix ❀ read here
- warnings: soft sex, cock warming, slight dom/sub themes, sub!felix, pegging, strapons, dildos, cum eating, little degradation if you squint
day 14: jealous sex - choi san ❀ read here
- warnings: explicit smut, unprotected sex, fingering, jealous sex, sir kink, dirty talk, creampie, fwb au, a lil bit of ~possessive san~ aka that fic where ‘yeah we aren’t anything but i’m still jealous’
day 15: grinding - jeong yunho ❀ read here
- warnings: grinding, thigh riding, semi-public sex (really just being ~frisky~), mentioned daddy kink
day 16: possessive sex - park seonghwa ❀ read here
- warnings: explicit smut, unprotected sex, marking, biting, fingering, possessiveness, creampie, paramour!seonghwa, princess!reader, lil bit of impregnation kink if u squint
day 17: praise/body worship - kim hongjoong ❀ read here
- warnings: explicit smut, unprotected sex, soft sex, fingering, praise, sir kink, clit kissing, oral sex: f, creampie, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, cum eating, soft dom yeosang
day 30: hair pulling - hwang hyunjin ❀ read here
- warnings: hair pulling, oral sex: m, cum swallowing, public sex, sex in a library whoops, it’s not realistic okay, exhibitionism
day 31: overstimulation - lee know ❀ read here
- warnings: explicit smut, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, oral sex: m, oral sex: f, fingering, cum eating, creampie, overstimulation, sir kink, handcuffs, dirty talk, size kink, kitten as a pet name, sex toys, vibrating panties, slight face-fucking, semi-public sex
1. he would’ve never made it this far if it wasn’t for the late night talks you had together; the ones where you shared your deepest and darkest secrets, dreams, and aspirations. they meant the world to him back then and still do now.
2. he almost cheated once — he didn’t do it, coming to his senses the last second before his lips touched the strangers. even though he didn’t actually do anything that would be considered cheating, he still feels terrible, and it kept him up late at night 2 weeks after it happened.
3. he used to practice his confession in the mirror (minho has a video of it — chan made him pinky promise not to show it to you).
4. he hates it when you bother him when he’s stressed, even if it’s just a small visit to drop off some food. normally he loves it, but when he’s stressed it pisses him off, but he never says anything in fear of you stopping completely.
5. when you kissed him after his confession was the best moment of his life (although, if you end up getting married, it’ll become the second).
6. he clearly remembers the first words you said to him. your soft and apologetic “i’m so sorry” goes around in his head more than he’d like to admit.
7. sometimes in the middle of the night he wakes up just to admire you and wonder why you ever settled for him when you could do so much better.
8. he has, more than once, let you win a fight just so the fighting would stop. he knows he should stand his ground, but he hates fighting with you with passion. so for him it’s much better to just give in and talk everything through later when you’re both calmed down.
genre: friends to lovers au, fluff with angst, mutual pining yay
description: it’s always fun to be stuck in a valentine themed check-point game with your crush, not to mention your hands are taped together the whole time.
word count: 17.3k +
author’s note: this was supposed to be a blurb and i was only happy about it during the first half but i wrote it anyway so here we are 😔 took me one week so quality probably bad.
warning: hyunjin being a high school boy and making occasional suggestive jokes.
Hyunjin has dyed his hair again. You sneered. It was a shade of brownish-blond.
Objectively speaking, Hyunjin is a very good-looking boy. You would admit that, from the bottom of your heart; if you were asked to anonymously agree with the fact that he has very strong and elegant features, with soft silk as hair that adorned the shape of his face, you would agree with it, because it was true. However, personally speaking, Hyunjin was not the type of good-looking that you liked.
His nose was straight and small, protruding prettily in the middle of his face without any trace of flawed skin. There were no lines and no wrinkles despite how many times they scrunch up when he laughs; his laughter more often a raspy chuckle, his voice heavy as spilled black ink, but there were also times when his laughter would come in chunks of blossoming skies, light-hearted and genuine as it taught you how to hear the stars for the first time.
His plump lips were too big for his face, often when you look at him during tutoring sessions, you would find your eyes gravitating towards those full, pink lines. And they were always curled either into his signature teasing smirk or that insufferable bright smile of his, like his face muscles simply could not bring his lips to do anything else aside from haunting you with his gut-wrenchingly charming smile.
His eyes, his creamy brown eyes! It was a different shade of brown at sunrise and sunset, a different shade of brown before the drizzling rain and after the thunderstorms. His eyes could be golden brown, like the morning sunlight filtering through a jar of honey, melting into the sunrise, or his eyes could be hazelnut brown, like the satisfying first bite of a batch of freshly baked chocolate chip cookie and the warm cup of morning coffee that lures your sense awake. So magnetic, so warm, so sweet.
Alright. Perhaps Hyunjin is your type of good-looking, but you swore to the moon and back you hold no special feelings for that boy whatsoever. In fact, you’ve got zero feelings when it came to him. None, not even a little, just nothing. Because he was and has always been since you met him, frustrating.
In the way that he always sat too close for comfort when you explain a Math problem to him, in the way that he never pays attention to the problem at hand and has you repeating it over and over again, in the way he softens his attitude to suit your tolerance level without being asked to do so, and in the way that despite how stubborn he was, he still somehow always succumb to you because he has an unspoken soft spot reserved for you.
Hyunjin was frustrating in the way that out of everyone you have ever met in your life, he was the kindest and he was the one who stuck around the longest.
Alright. Perhaps you had developed feelings for Hyunjin, but the difficult circumstance you met him under had not given you the pride and courage to admit that to yourself yet, not to mention admit it to him.
“I would have dyed it blond earlier if I had known you’ll like it this much.”
“Who says I like it?” You retorted immediately, not giving Hyunjin another second to gloat in the fact that he has got your staring at him before you even realized that your eyes couldn’t stay away.
He hummed, a small smirk appearing on his lips as he shoved his hands into his pants pockets. He rocked on his heels, back and forth, back and forth, until he stopped before your face with his waist bent down slightly and he eyed you with a widened smirk.
“You were staring,” he mused.
“Yeah, cause it looks like dry hay,” you said, your hand reached up to his forehead so you could push him away from you. The troublesomely comfortable proximity has to end before your heart learned to pick up its pace without permission again. “Out of all the days you could have dyed your hair, you pick today?”
Raising a questioning brow at you, he fiddled with a wavy stand of his locks that fell over the black headband he wore and his lower lip jutted out in faint mockery as he asked, “What’s wrong with today?”
The school was buzzing on this Saturday morning, with people moving in and out of the school gate and students rushing back and forth between tents. The inside of the school was most likely littered with heavy decorations that pertained to the different games designed by each class, and the front yard was lined up with tents the student helpers had set up the day before in preparation for the school fair.
It was all to show the best side of the school so more graduating middle schools would put it as their top high school picks.
“It’s the school fair.” You stated, gesturing around where you two stood, which was just at the side of the main path to the school entrance. “Is it really a good idea to dye your hair that rebellious color when our goal is to attract students?”
Hyunjin rolled his eyes, a hearty chuckle breathing out with a smile of the same laid-back energy. His hand traveled from the end of his soft hair to the top, his large hand coursing through the locks and flipping them back. He paused for a moment before removing his hand, keeping his face exposed to the sun now that it was without the blockage of his hair.
You frowned a little when you saw his lips tuck up into a wide, flirty smile, and you gasped inwardly when he winked in an unknown direction. Curiously looking over, your gaze hardened for a second at a couple of dolled-up girls standing across with their jaws hung slightly ajar and their cheeks reddened, completely neglecting their little siblings who they were supposed to be looking after at this school fair.
Oh, right, Hyunjin the handsome fellow has all the power in the world and he was using it to attract people into the school.
Acknowledging what he was doing, you relaxed with a tinge of bitterness settling down between your lungs, which was hardly relaxing. How come everyone got the instructor’s manual on how to get a glow-up except for you? From the way they looked, to the clothes they wore, to the way they carry themselves—it was either they were acting well beyond their age or your growth was just slower in the appeal department.
You suspected it was both of them.
Shifting your weight begrudgingly, you ignored the way you unconsciously glanced down at your posture and turned away, leaving without so much as bidding Hyunjin a goodbye. The bitterness came out of nowhere. Not in a sense that you didn’t know why you felt your heart fall ten feet down the sky when you saw how much fascination he had in his eyes when he looked at those girls, you knew very well why you were disappointed.
The boy you have feelings for was just eyeing somebody else with such intrigue, the said someone else being someone you found much more attractive than you. It was jealousy, and insecurities, and doubt, and everything lying in the middle of this mortifying spectrum of human negativity. It was rather normal to feel such a way.
You didn’t understand why in a sense that you thought you had it all under control. Your emotions were supposed to be wrapped around your fingers, not the other way around. You thought you trained yourself not to feel anything for Hyunjin, whether it was him or all the side events that happen to him. You’ve got a three-second rule—build up the walls in three seconds, get him out of your head before anything starts flooding into your chest.
Protect yourself, because how useless would one be to not have control over their own feelings? How could you fathom the idea of having control over anything else if you couldn’t even handle yourself?
A surprised yelp sounded from your throat when you felt a tap to your shoulder. Breaking out of your saddened thoughts, you turned to find Jisung looking at you with concerned eyes and a stack of papers in his hands. You breathed out a sigh of relief and bluffed a motion of smacking him across the head, causing him to stumble back with a laugh.
“Someone is moody,” he mentioned, regaining his balance, “why are you here?”
You frowned at him, “I am here to help out. We had a game for our class too, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, but–“ Jisung tilted his head to the side to think for a moment before he said, “I thought Seungmin said you won’t be coming to help today.”
“I didn’t say that,” you said.
“Well, I recruited other students to help out so we have enough help already.” Jisung shrugged. “You can go home–oh, or stick around and play! I heard a class got a cotton candy machine!”
“What? So I woke up early for no reason?” You exclaimed, your face scrunched up in dismay.
Seeing your disheartened state, Jisung frowned. You had always been one of the most hard-working students in your class, second next to Seungmin. He figured you would much rather get some sleep on a Saturday morning but you had come back to help out anyway. Was it his fault that you came today? No, but he did feel guilty that he wasn’t more thorough with you about it, and he was rather determined on making you feel just a little happier.
“Hey, wanna see something funny?” He asked as you placed the stack of paper on a random desk that was pulled out of the classroom. He flipped around the papers before pulling a piece out and holding it to your face, a smile evident on his. “It’s your response to the survey we did for our game.”
Your eyes widened. Right, you had almost forgotten about this tooth-rotting survey filled with romantic questions, unexpectedly but also obviously made by Seungmin. Only he could make something so romantic yet so tactical at the same time. It was to ask for opinions on the game, and it was so damn cheesy because your class planned to match with the Valentine’s Day theme.
“You didn’t read it, did you?” You widened your eyes at Jisung, who shook his head.
“No, why? Is it embarrassing?” He laughed, turning the paper around and scanning his eyes over it before you attempted to snatch it away from his grasp. He swiftly jumped back with his arm held up high, his brown locked bouncing cutely across his eyes as he openly laughed at your misery. “What did you put, (Name)?”
“Nothing! Give it to me! I am going to burn that paper!” You said, reaching your hand up in hopes to rescue your last bit of dignity.
Jisung was laughing harder now. Despite his rather short height, which his platform shoes kindly made up for, you were still unable to match up with his instincts and athletic ability to jump much higher than you. Every time you thought you could taste victory, he moved the paper away out from your airy grasp.
Amid this enjoyable and chaotic encounter, Jisung’s laughter quickly diminished when he felt the paper being torn away from his hand from behind. He stopped on his tracks and looked behind his shoulder, his heart jumping in shock to find Hyunjin staring down at him with a threateningly sharp gaze.
Damn. How did he not feel his presence at all, and why did Hyunjin suddenly look so much taller?
“What are you doing?” Hyunjin asked, his eyes long averted back to you.
You rubbed your arm, feeling nervous all of a sudden. The question felt confrontational, and it was meant to be confrontational because Hyunjin wanted to know why you were here. It was a complaint about why you had left him at the school’s front yard alone; it wasn’t even just because you left him without a word, he had to find you in the middle of playful banter with Han Jisung.
The grade’s resident cute boy Han Jisung, guitar player Han Jisung, naturally hilarious Han Jisung—every time he hears about Jisung, it is something good; every single time he hears Jisung’s name from your mouth, it was about something good, and it was so infuriating for him to watch you admire another boy right in front of his face.
The more he thinks you are falling for Jisung, the more threatened he is by the thought, and his heart gets colder at his cowardice, an occurrence he learned to hide behind a confident and eloquent facade. He hid his desire to shower you with his endless affection by talking fast and acting unbothered, and even though he has been advised against that method, he couldn’t stop himself from it.
“Give me the paper, Hyunjin,” you said, moving closer to him and reaching out to grab for the paper.
He moved away from you, his eyebrows raised in amusement when you whined and stumbled forward into his chest. Moving his hand down as he crumpled the piece of paper in his hand, his other hand flying up to press you against him not so much to stable you but only to tease you about losing your balance.
Shoving the paper into his pocket, he leaned down to your ear and whispered, “Someone is eager.”
Your heart felt weak from the mere contact, having your body lean flushed against his like this was totally against your boundary rules. Not to mention he just blew hot air into your ear by speaking into it directly. The audacity of this boy! He was tugging on all of your strings without even realizing it.
“Shut up!” You exclaimed weakly as you broke free from the half embrace he caught you in. You dusted yourself off as you glared at him, and he returned you with nothing but a guiltless smile, which made you feel so conflicted because you were both annoyed and bewitched and you were not so keen on knowing which feeling overwhelmed the other.
Jisung, who had been looking from the side, seemed to have come to a realization neither Hyunjin nor you have had the brain to understand. He hummed under his breath, drowned in his mischievous thoughts before he spoke up to break the silence, “Hey, (Name), you should go play our game.”
You looked at him, slightly appalled by the idea, “Why? It’s Valentine’s Day themed.”
“Don’t worry too much about that! It’s is just a check-point game, it’s really easy,” he said, “Besides if you really want to help, you can add to the sign-in sheet we are going to use to compete with the other classes later. The more people who play our game, the more likely we will win!”
Well, you could never deny that. Anything to help your class gain superiority over the other classes has always been one of your academic goals; somehow being able to learn in the best class of the grade gave you a sense of pride. Pulling your face into an unwilling grimace, you gave him a curt nod and a quick wave before Jisung excused himself out of the scene.
Watching him with attentive eyes, Hyunjin silently flipped the shorter boy off before returning his attention to you. You stood on your spot, contemplating with an unreadable expression until you caught him staring, then your eyes squinted suspiciously like you often did whenever you found him looking for much longer than he was supposed to.
“What?” You asked, giving him an awkward shrug.
The question flew out of his mouth before he even knew it. “Why did you leave me back there?” He asked. “You hurt my feelings, you know.”
You rolled your eyes. All the tutoring sessions with Hyunjin have given you immunity over the flirtatious things he spills. You were gullible before, trusting him and giving in when he informed that you were being too harsh and you were hurting his little good heart, and then he would give you that triumphant grin as he leaned close to you and shoot you the million-dollar statement that never fails to get your mind racing: “ah, so you do care about me, huh?”
It was all a ploy to get you flustered, and you disliked how you always did, in fact, get flustered about him whenever he wasn’t around to see your face heat up.
“I didn’t want to disturb you,” you muttered, glancing out the window with crossed arms, “I am not exactly a sight for sore eyes. My face might ruin your plan of seduction.”
It took him a few seconds to understand what you were saying, the delay in his reaction a piece of evidence for just how insignificant his action was to him. It was just a wink, a cheeky smile, an arch of his pretty brow; he was just recklessly making people fall in love with him, it has always been an easy thing for him to do. Yet no matter how many tricks he has got up his sleeve, you somehow persisted on denying your feelings for him. Not only that, but you also blew off the idea that he would have feelings for you.
Did that make you hard to get? Sure, for the most part. It wasn’t hard to figure out that you like him, Hyunjin already knew that, because despite what your mouth babbles out, your body and your actions never fail to betray you.
All the nervous pulling of your fingers, the slapping of your heated cheeks, and the smiles you failed the suppress. Or how you would stay up late at night to handwrite him study guides, how even though you would go along with his foolery, you would never let him neglect his studies just to appeal to him, and how you seemed so much happier than him when he got his first decent grade in Biology after pulling an all-nighter on the phone with him.
It was all the things you did when you think he wasn’t aware. He had to laugh just thinking about it because it was almost tragic to see you put so much effort into ignoring your affection for him. You should have known Hyunjin always has his attention plastered all over you.
The main problem here was that you refuse to admit it, and as much as Hyunjin wanted you both to establish your feelings for each other, he would never force it out of you. He needed you to want it, on your own terms, whenever you are ready, and perhaps then it would be easier to accept that you like him and he likes you back. But it has been months now, the school year would come to an end soon, and you were still stuck in denial.
“Do I sense jealousy?” Hyunjin put on a smile. Then his voice lowered with sincerity, but the teasing grin stayed on his face. “I won’t do it anymore if you don’t like it.”
You scoffed, spinning on your heels and heading to your classroom, “I don’t care what you do. Go flirt all you want.”
Your heart thumped at the fact that he cared enough to tell you he would stop if you ask him to; his thumped at the fact that you were visibly upset with the idea of him messing around with someone else. But neither of you could hear your hearts drumming in your chests as he trailed after you to your classroom.
Your classroom was much more different than how it used to look like, as expected. There were pink and red balloons taped to the entrance door, accompanied by heart-shaped papers stuck to the wall and windows. The first person who greeted you when you stepped into your classroom was Seungmin, with a little bow clip tugged in his brown bangs and a strained smile that faded the second he recognized you.
“Class president! I am here to play!” You mused, walking closer to the desk he stood behind. You looked up at his hair and back down at his annoyed expression, and you laughed, “And I see you are trying on a new look today.”
Hyunjin followed closely behind you. His eyes widened at the new look Seungmin presented but he remained in silent amusement from behind you.
“One of the middle-schoolers brought their baby sister and I was, unfortunately, forced to wear it.” He rolled his eyes.
“Well, I don’t think it’s unfortunate,” you said. “The hair-clip really suits you. You look very adorable, Seungmin.”
He grumbled under his breath. You were not the first person to tell him this. Teachers who were passing by to do check-ups and his friends helping out in other classes have already marveled enough on how cute and lovely he looked with the hair-clip, it almost made him wonder if he didn’t use to look nice before its appearance.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he said, pushing the sign-up sheet towards you. “Just sign your names here and start the game.”
You grabbed a pen and leaned down to put your name on the bracket. As you did so, you lightly breathed out an approving hum at how much signatures were already present on the paper. “Hey, we might win this competition if this continues,” you said as you pointed at the paper with the tip of your pen. You glanced up at him then, smiling, “Maybe you should add one more bow, I think that is attracting people here.”
Seungmin gave you a sarcastic smile, tilting his head to the side, “Aww, are you falling for me now?”
You faked a laugh. “I just might if you add one more bow.”
Oh, you cheeky bastard. Fine, there was nothing for Seungmin to feel irritated about. The game itself would definitely be a good enough payback for you, considering who you had decided to have joined you on this check-point game designed for couples. Of all the things he would be doing on this day, Seungmin never thought he would be playing cupid. This day has certainly gotten more interesting.
Looking behind your shoulder, he gave a glaring Hyunjin a wave and pointed down on the paper. “You have to sign in too.”
Hyunjin grimaced, walking forward and glancing down at the paper with faint interest. “I am not playing.”
“You have to. This is a check-point game designed for two people, look.” Seungmin gestured towards the preparation area where pairs were having their intertwined hands wrapped up with a variation of pink, red, and white tapes. Turning back to Hyunjin, whose eyes were heavily focused on the hand-holding aspect of the game, and he smiled in triumph.
“I won’t pressure you to play it, of course,” Seungmin shrugged, watching as Hyunjin started to lean towards the table, his hand blindly searching for a pen. “I can always just ask somebody else to play it with (Name). Actually, I think Jisung is coming back–“
“I’ll fucking play,” Hyunjin cut him off with an annoyed grumble, leaning down to scribble his name on the paper before dropping the pen. He eyed Seungmin carefully, not sure whether to strangle the smart boy or to thank him for designing such an opportunity. Then he went to stand by your side and immediately, he reverted to his usual, playful self.
You were looking at the duos in the preparation area, all laughing and trying to find the most comfortable position to hold their hands together before they were sent off on their missions. A surge of excitement flooded through your veins that you forgot to make a snarky remark about having to hold Hyunjin’s hand and to follow your three-second rule.
You were thrilled, just as Hyunjin was delighted about the idea. This isn’t just an accidental brush of the hand, which was all you two have done when it comes to skinship regarding the palms and the fingers. This is holding hands, where your fingertips could softly feel and trace each curve of his knuckles and he could feel the calming of your skin as your warmth radiates off each other, and just the pure act of linking fingers serves as a momentary reminder that he is there with you, as you are there with him.
“Okay, I’m going to have to tape your hands together so hold each other nicely,” Seungmin said as he ripped off a line of pink tape. “The duration of the game depends on how long you finish each task and get your checkpoints, as do the prizes you get at the end. If you want to get out of the tapes earlier then finish everything quicker.”
You nodded at his instruction as Hyunjin casually slipped his hands into yours, his slender fingers gliding easily between the gaps of yours before he held onto you tightly. He squeezed your hand and loosened his grip, then he tightened it again when he figured it would probably feel more fulfilling under the sticky tapes. You rolled your eyes at his fidgety movements, waiting for him to stop clenching his hand around yours before you complained.
“Are you finished?” You asked, looking up at him.
He could only smile down at you. Your hand was so soft and fragile, it felt warm and he was content. “I’m sorry, but your hand feels really nice,” he commented with a shrug.
“Oh god, Seungmin, please go faster.” You glanced down at the poor boy, finding him glaring back up at you as he paused his movements. You flashed him an apologetic smile in return, rolling your eyes up at Hyunjin pointedly as you did so.
“You know, I haven’t heard a single complaint from you,” Hyunjin interjected, bringing your attention away from the class president and back to him. That despicable grin was still present on his face when you snapped your head back up to frown at him. “You want to do this, don’t you?”
“You think too highly of yourself, don't you?” You retorted with a deadpan expression, completely unbothered by the sticky tape as Seungmin focused on wrapping it around your joined hands, trying so hard to ignore the banter happening from above. “If anything, I think you might be the one who wants this.”
Hyunjin left the words unspoken in the light squish of your hand, even though your hands were already being bounded together tight enough. The low chuckle he breathed out only showed you how undiscouraged he was by your lack of enthusiasm. He seemed all too blissful about the situation, and he was; being able to hold you without having you swat him away like he was a poisonous vessel was one of the many goals he wanted to meet.
Seungmin finished up with bounding your hands together and he stood up. He twirled the tape holder in his hand as he gave you both a quick analytical glance, his mind wandering off in wonder about exactly when you two would turn the tables and finally end this awful stalling of mutual pining.
He only gave himself a few seconds to dwell in the thought before he clapped his hands together, gaining both your attention. Smiling, Seungmin gestured towards the door, “Please go to the next class and start your first task. Your next location will be revealed to you when you pass the first game.”
Ah, he just couldn’t wait to have both of you out of the classroom so he could help out with the other guests looking around.
Game I: The Trivia Game
You should have expected that. It would not be a series of games designed mainly for couples if there wasn’t a segment specifically catered towards testing how much the pair know each other. A frown laid permanently on your lips when you and Hyunjin entered the classroom and sat down on the waiting area for a pair that was close to finishing.
“Do you think we should cheat?” You muttered to him, your eyes trained on the two pink slips of paper the student helper was holding. You assumed they had couples write down answers to the questions they have provided on there, that would be the only way for them to get this trivia game going. “Maybe we should give the vaguest answer and call it a day?”
“I never thought I’d see the day when you choose cheating as the method,” Hyunjin replied. “But shouldn’t you have some faith in us. I think we know each other pretty well.”
You hummed suspiciously, “Are you sure? Because I honestly feel like I know nothing about you. Like if you ask me what your favorite color is, I would say something wrong like black and white.”
“My favorite color is black and white.”
“Oh, damn, okay,” you leaned back against the chair, quite baffled at how your subconscious knew of that information. Looking up at him, you asked, “Do you know what my favorite color is?”
“Brown,” Hyunjin said immediately, turning over to look at you with a cheeky grin, “just like my eyes.”
You faked a disgusted gag, looking away from him. He wasn’t wrong, though. You did genuinely adored his brown eyes, as much as you didn’t want to, but since when has your heart ever heed your advice to stay away from Hyunjin. And to say you liked the color brown because it was the color of his eyes felt like an understatement to you, somehow. The color brown could not even begin to compare with those glowing embers he had for eyes.
The second you found yourself falling for him, his eyes stopped being just brown anymore. It was so much more than that. It was the bold changing of seasons, the rise of the breezy autumn air, and the scattering of the fallen brown leaves. And for God’s sake, you have got to stop thinking about his eyes! Swim back up, (Name), you could not keep drowning in them!
When you finally snapped out of your thoughts, the student helper had already come by to hand you and Hyunjin both one slip of paper and asked you both to fill it out for the trivia game later. The idea of cheating had long been erased from your mind as you went down the questions, occasionally remembering to fill it with an easy answer among all the honest answers.
You two were later brought to a corner of the classroom with the helper standing before you both. She was supposed to randomly ask you both three questions; to pass, you two have to get at least two questions right.
“Okay, let’s start with Hyunjin,” she looked up at the boy, her eyes glittering slightly but she held it down at the mere thought that he was already taken by you. She looked down at your paper and hummed. “Alright, what is one of (Name)’s go-to drink and what problem do they have with it?”
“Apple-banana smoothie, they make it at home by themselves all the time,” Hyunjin said, snapping his free hand, “the problem is that they don’t know how to peel the apple skin off so they always have to make it when their parents are home to help. Or, well, when I am there to help.”
You pursed your lips together. Fine, you would give him that. You did remember telling him about the smoothie story because you brought a bottle with you to the library once and you shared some with him using the library water cup. Since then, you had always brought two bottles with you so Hyunjin wouldn’t have to keep refilling a small cup for himself.
“Correct! The second question, let us go with an easy one. What size of clothing does (Name) usually wear?”
“Large, occasionally extra-large.” Hyunjin shrugged. “They have a habit of buying oversized clothes, which is so weird because why spend the money when you can just take mine?”
You squeezed his hand in hopes to cause some pain but you figured it was to no avail. You had no idea what Hyunjin was trying to do but he seemed to be determined to carry out the narrative where you two were playing this game as an actual couple. Ignoring his gaze, you paid your focus on the floating balloons being stuck to the wall as decorations and his round to be done quickly so you could have something to think about.
“Correct again! The last question for you, Hyunjin,” the girl exclaimed all too happily, clenching the papers in her hands as her interest in him just spiked to a maximum. Good-looking and attentive? What more could a person ask for? “What is (Name)’s favorite color?”
You sucked in a quiet breath. You were hoping she wouldn’t pick that question because you had just shot down the answer Hyunjin gave you. Oh, it would be so embarrassing for him to know that you still wrote the color of his eyes down as your favorite color after all the scoffing and eye-rolling.
Hyunjin pursed his lips together, in deep thoughts. When he spoke, his voice was dubious, “Purple?”
The student helper frowned with a shook of her head, flipping the paper slip as she did so to prepare for your round, “No, that’s wrong. Fortunately, you did meet the requirement, so it is all up to (Name) now!”
The relieved sigh you huffed out was hidden by the light-hearted smile you showed the helper. Unconsciously, your grip on Hyunjin’s hand tightened due to how nervous you were about this stupid game you never planned to take seriously. The fact that Hyunjin got the first two questions right was not only surprising, but it also told you something you didn’t want to believe: he pays a lot of attention to you, more than you could understand why.
And as giddy about that fact as you were fearful of it, you still gave yourself some space to clap for his observant skills. Not only did he observe and listened, but he also remembered, contrary to your expectations. It would be a shame for you to do badly on this part; what would he think of you then? Would he feel like his attention was not appreciated nor reciprocated? That would be dreadful, you wouldn’t want him to go through that.
“Okay, first question, (Name)! What is Hyunjin’s favorite season?”
You turned to look at him, hoping for a hint only to get a shrug in return. He was looking expectantly down at you as he knew you have the answer somewhere in your head, you just needed to trust your instinct. Averting your eyes back to the student helper, you let out a doubtful chuckle and answered, “Autumn… I think?”
“Oh, nice,” you exclaimed under your breath, pumping your fist in front of your chest as a smile erupted on your face. “I might be good at this, actually.”
“We will see about that. The second question is–don’t look at him right now, does he have dimples when he smiles?”
Oh, you should know this! But somehow, the second the question was presented to you, your mind simply blanked out the same way it would during an important exam. Your jaw dropped and your eyes squinted, rolling to the side in temptation to just turn over and take a sneak peek at his face. From the top of your memory, you were leaning towards him having dimples, yet at the same time, it felt as if you couldn’t see it sometimes.
“Hold on, I know this.” You held up your hand, thinking carefully. “I should know this! You are always smiling for some stupid reason!”
“That’s because I like you, (Name),” Hyunjin said in a whining tone, twisting and turning his torso adorably as his lips quirked up into a grin you couldn’t look at.
“Oh god–shut up, Hyunjin,” you pleaded hopelessly, your eyes shut tight when you just could hear his smile from next to you, luring you to take a look at his face. “Wait, sometimes you do sometimes you don’t but–maybe they’re just wrinkles at the side of your face?”
“Wrinkles–(Name), I do not have wrinkles–“
“You will if you keep smiling,” you cut him off before quickly meeting eyes with the student helper, a hopeful smile lingering on your face. “I’m thinking… yes but it depends on how he smiles. When he smiles really big, I don’t see it, but when he purses his lips into a smile, I can.”
“Actually…” the helper looked up at Hyunjin despite having the answers right at her hands. He raised a brow at her and nodded in confirmation, so she hummed, “He says you’re right so I guess you got that one correct as well!”
Upon hearing that, your curiosity got the best of you and you cranked your neck up to look at him. You squinted your eyes and asked him to smile for the first time, and there it was, the soft indent on the side of his cheek, almost covered by the long hair that draped over his face. You flashed him a little frown.
“Why do you look so disappointed, (Name),” Hyunjin muttered, feigning a pained expression by furrowing his brows. “It hurts my feelings.”
“No, I’m not disappointed,” you shook your head, unconsciously squeezing his hand. “I was just thinking, I’m not disappointed.”
Because how could you ever be? Hyunjin has a smile crafted by the Gods. It was like the sun has specifically carved a space out of itself and handed it to him. Hyunjin smiles like he drank the sun and now his entire body drowns in its essence, the afterglow glimmering on top of his skin and his beautiful features because the sun is all that he can take and more. And whenever you see it, you felt both warmed and endeared, like the warm spot of your unmade bed on a Sunday morning.
“What is the last question?” You asked, looking away from him.
“Um… I’ll just give you this one, what is his favorite color?”
“Oh, easy, black and white,” you replied.
“No… I’m surprised you both got this one wrong.” The girl gave you a sympathetic smile as she shook her head. “I thought it would be obvious.”
You titled your head. You swore it was black and white, he told you it was black and white. “What do you mean?”
“It’s just…” she laughed, “You both wrote each others’ eye color as your favorite color.”
How long have you two been holding hands by now, Hyunjin wondered. He wasn't counting, if he counted the time it moves faster for him somehow, and he would much rather enjoy having your soft skin against his just the way it felt instead of worrying about how much time he's got left or how long it has been.
You two did not speak after the dramatically big reveal of the answer to the question you both got wrong, both still basking in the information that you had each others' eyes as your favorite colors, and how the game took a much more romantic turn at the end
Even Hyunjin remained silent in thoughts because he hadn't expected you to put that as the answer, and he wondered if you meant it when you did. Gathering all his courage, he slowed down his pace even more than he already did to match up with your pace, and he had to tug at you lightly for you to stop in the middle of the hall when you continued to walk ahead of him.
You turned back, looking at him with questioning eyes. "What?" You asked, blinking at him.
He was looking at you in that unbearable way again. The sincere intensity of his eyes making you shudder, but as fervent as his gaze was, Hyunjin never fails to key in a tinge of softness in then. He looked at you like he was in love with you, in the most tender way possible but also with the most passionate burns of bright red fire that never ceases.
"Hyunjin...?" You did not dare take a step closer to him. You could crumble, you knew, under the weight of his gaze your heart would give away.
"I meant it, about my favorite color," he confessed, ignoring all the people walking around him and focusing only on you. "It is the color of your eyes."
You processed his words, feeling lightheaded. It was like you never knew what your eye color was until he told you he liked it, and you were just feeling the holy awakening of such revelation. You were going to head home tonight and smile at yourself in the mirror, not understanding why Hyunjin felt that way but feeling so euphoric that he did.
"Thank you." You nodded. "I meant it with yous too."
Hyunjin felt his breath caught in his throat and he had to regulate his breathing for him to intake any oxygen.
It felt stupid at first—the color of his eyes? Such a small, trivial thing. But it had always been the littlest things that got him so pumped up and made him stay up all night with faraway daydream lingered in his head.
And there is nothing wrong with that; there is nothing wrong with being lovesick, with feeling like he could soar through the sky from one bright smile you returned him, with exaggerating love.
Because no matter how much you dramatize it, love would somehow always be bigger than.
Hyunjin flashed you a smile, a smug one. ”I know."
You rolled your eyes and turned away, while he walked to catch up with you. A smile tugged at your lips at his reply, and despite having millions of retort options laying around in your head, you kept silent.
Game II: The Obstacle Game
There was a table located in front of the classroom, with a student standing behind it with an exhausted expression forced out of her face by a smile. Behind her was a set of black mesh blanket messily taped to the top of the doorframe, blocking the outside light from entering the classroom. When she saw you and Hyunjin approaching, she seemed to breathe a sigh and reached over to the basket located in the middle of the desk, pulling out a long piece of fabric amongst the array of tangled ones.
“Seungmin sent you here, I suppose?” She said, the boredom in her voice leaking heavy. Moving her eyes away from you and up at Hyunjin, she raised her brow with interest before pointing her finger at him, her eyes averting back to you. “I didn’t know you two are a thing.”
Your bit your lower lip and widened your eyes, processing her words. A thing? As in a pair? A couple? Significant others? That was what she meant, right? Like people who are dating each other, people who reciprocate special feelings for each other, people who hug and kiss—oh god, you were thinking about his lips again, his kissable pink lips.
The possibility of touching it made your chest ache endlessly and you need to snap out of it.
“We’re not,” you laughed nervously, shaking your head, “He just happened to be there when I signed up to play the game.”
She gave you a low hum of acknowledgment as she fiddled with the fabric in her hands, her eyes grazing past Hyunjin for a moment to hope for some reaction. He gave her none, his eyes boring holes in her skull with the same amount of boredom she had been expressing to the middle-schoolers passing by today.
“You two should, though,” she mentioned after looking, a shrug hanging on her shoulders. She saw Hyunjin shift out of the corner of her eyes, possibly a head tilt of pleasant surprise.
“What–what do you mean–why?” You stuttered defensively, continuing to laugh nervously.
“Why not? You two spend so much time together,” she muttered, “I reckon you two spend time outside of school too, don’t you?”
“That we do,” Hyunjin chimed in, his voice a cheery kind that you wouldn’t have to look to know he was grinning.
“Yeah, and that makes us friends,” you sighed truthfully, but the wavering in your eyes did not go unnoticed.
“Really?” She deadpanned, dropping her hand on the desk. Pulling her eyes away from you, she pointedly looked at Hyunjin and back at you, then back at him again just to further access his defining facial features. She grimaced when Hyunjin flashed her a flattering smile and she spoke, “Look at him and tell me you genuinely want him to be just your friend.”
“I am not going to look at him.”
“Proves my point.” She shrugged. “He makes you weak.”
“He does not–okay, you know what, we are on a tight schedule here,” you said, holding up your taped hand and glaring at her for exposing all your darkest desires right in front of Hyunjin, “so if you can hurry up, we would like to move on, please.”
“Fine,” she said, “this is an obstacle game. It is as the name sounds, one of you will be going through certain obstacles, like climbing tables and leaping through cones on the floor, under the guidance of another. It is to test how much you trust each other, basically.”
“Which one of you are going to be blindfolded?” She asked as she held up the fabric in her hand and looked at you both. When none of you answered, she rolled her eyes in annoyance, “We’re not going to make it that easy for you. I already said one of you is gonna guide the other, so who is wearing the blindfold?”
You hummed under your breath, turning over to Hyunjin in hopes that he would volunteer. But he only shook his head, his tongue poking out of his lips slightly as he laughed to himself about the hilarity of the situation. When he met your eyes, he raised his brows at how expectant you looked, and for a moment he almost caved in.
A huff escaped your lips when he shook his head, and you grimaced into your words, “But I don’t like being blindfolded.”
“Aww, that’s a shame, (Name), because I don’t like being blindfolded either.” He leaned down to your shoulder, his breath fanning against your neck and causing the hair to spike up at the warm distance. Hyunjin chuckled against your ear, his voice feathery as a whisper when he teased, “I only put blindfolds on people.”
There was a buzzing sensation on where his words, and its suggestive connotation, hit the skin of your neck. You were utterly unprepared for the shivers that you almost flinched away from him with a squeal. And even though you wanted to shove him away with a light smack, all you could do after that was give in, with your breath hitched in your throat and your mind heaving for an escape out of this rabbit hole he has thrown you in.
“Fine, I’ll do it,” you said, trying to sound as casual as possible.
“Great. I will be blindfolding you because both of you only have one hand,” the student helper said, giving Hyunjin a pursed smile. “But you can do that at your own time if you’re into that.”
When she was finally done, all she did was direct you to the back where the classroom was before she went ahead to help with the next pair that had come along. Hyunjin carefully tugged at your hand and brought you along with him, moving past the mesh drapes and into the dimly lit classroom. He whistled slightly, impressed by the amount of effort placed into keeping the place as dark as possible just for the atmosphere.
There were three-station tags each pair was supposed to go through; very few but it seemed to be taking people more time than usual. A few students helpers stood at the corner to observe in case anyone tried to leave without going through each trial.
You moved slow, your steps stuttering in doubt that he would bump you into a wall. And, certainly, the lack of faith you placed in him was concerning, but he would consult you about that when this trial ends. For now, he thought it would be best to help you focus on getting through the obstacles instead of bombarding you with unnecessary bickers.
The first two trials of obstacles were an easy pass. Nothing too terrible with jumping through cones and hoops, nothing too hard with sticking paper parts of cartoon characters back to their original place after dodging walls of textbooks stacked up from the ground. Child’s play; Hyunjin didn’t even have to remotely scream instructions at you to breeze past those two trials.
It was the third one that got a little tricky. It took up the most space in the classroom as well, with chairs placed on top of tables and desks spaced out from each other like a mini bridge. You were supposed to walk through three separate desks and climb up a chair placed on top of one, all so you could grab heart-shaped styrofoam from the top of another chair stacked on another. Hyunjin frowned when he glanced at the unstable structure; how did your class get this approved by the teacher?
“You can climb the desk right?” Hyunjin asked after he guided you over to the start of the trial. He watched as you placed your palm flat against its surface, calculating its height even though you just sat on it yesterday. “It will be kind of hard for me to hoist you up.”
“I can do it!” You exclaimed quietly.
He watched you in amusement when you scanned your surrounding anyway before you put your joined hands and your free hand on the table. You pushed yourself up and placed your knee on top of the edge of the desk, feeling a strong presence behind you when you slipped. Gasping, you instinctively glanced behind your shoulder with furrowed brows, “Is that you?”
“Yes,” Hyunjin replied calmly. “Go on. I’m just here so you don’t slip and fall back on the floor.”
You pushed yourself up freely this time, flinging yourself on top of the desk before you sighed at your success. Hyunjin faintly smiled, the endearment sparking in his eyes when he saw the smile you wore on your face. He reached out to fix your hair, his pinky finger brushing past your temple while you huffed out in accomplishment.
“There you go. Now just stand up and be careful when you walk, the desks are not placed together,” he said, helping you up with his free arm extended beside him in preparation to catch you if you were to trip and fall.
You muttered encouragements to yourself under your breath as you tested each surface with small taps of your feet, listening to Hyunjin when he told you whether you were needed to move forward a little bit more. Before you even knew it, you had started to put more trust in him as you went ahead of the trial blindly.
And you were so concentrated on the task at hand that you didn’t even have the mind to acknowledge the feeling of his hand around your ankle each time to carefully hop over to another desk, having angled himself in a way that his body would catch your fall instead.
“Okay, good job,” Hyunjin muttered when you were finally on the last desk. Sparing the chairs a glance, he frowned but didn’t say more than tell you about what was up ahead. “There is a chair in front of you, just get on top of it. Be careful.”
You let out a defeated whimper but your hand reached out to test the structure of the chair anyway. Stepping your leg up on top of the surface, you squealed when the chair rattled slightly under your weight, and you could hear Hyunjin curse as his hand shot out to grip your uniform shirt tightly, his eyes glaring at the inanimate object.
“Hold the chair, Hyunjin! Not me!” You exclaimed, putting your hand on top of his.
He scoffed, “I am trying to protect you, (Name), not the chair!”
“I won’t fall if you stabilize the chair!” You reasoned, slapping the back of his palm urgently.
Glaring upwards at you slightly, his gaze moving past your free hands that landed on top of one another, Hyunjin unwilling moved away and wrapped his fingers around the metal leg. He gave you a childish grumble as a signal for you to move, and he watched you like a hawk as you stepped onto the chair’s surface. With his arm raised to accommodate your current height, his neck cranked up to see your progress.
“There is another chair in front of you and there are some styrofoams on it. Just grab one and get down slowly,” he said.
You nodded, feeling the chair in front of you and furrowing your brows when your hand had to move upper than you expected. They must have stacked two chairs together then. Humming, you reached your hand up, stretching it as far as you could to feel the surface before patting it a few times to feel the open space.
Hyunjin watched you carefully, moving his head so he could see better. Your finger was almost touching the styrofoam rolled to the back corner, and after contenting to stretch forward but to no avail, you did the unpredictable act of hopping on the chair so you could have a wide range of range. You grabbed the styrofoam in your hand, but your feet lost its balance immediately after you landed back on the chair.
“Fuck–“ Hyunjin panicked when you started falling towards him.
He let go of the chair instinctively, his hand reaching up to catch you. His legs stumbled backward when your body crashed onto him and he fell back onto the floor with a painful groan, his eyes squeezing shut at the feeling of his hip-bone crushing between your weight and the floor. His shoulder blades burned with a sour sensation, his senses replaying the jabbing of his bones against the ground even after he settled on the ground.
Oh, that sure hurt like a bitch.
The gasps surrounding you pulled you out of your blanked out mind. You were too scared to react when you started falling, but you had a feeling Hyunjin had shielded you from the impact when all your head felt was the softness of his torso when you dropped to the ground. Dropping the heart-shaped styrofoam in your hand, you scrambled up from his body, flinching when you heard him groan in pain at your sudden action.
He opened his eyes and sat up from the ground, his elbow propped up behind him to support his torso. For a second, he glared at you, wanting nothing more than to scold you for even thinking about jumping on that unstable chair. But his mouth sealed itself shut when he felt your hand on his abdomen, feeling him up in an attempt to access what position he laid in. Your hand patted up his chest, his shoulders before finally, you scooted yourself forward on his thighs with one hand pressed against his cheek.
You touches had shut him up completely, and on a subtle level, flipped a switch inside of him that wasn’t meant to be touched by you yet. It was reserved for you, surely, but he didn’t think now would be the time. His eyes softened at the concerned frown and the warm heat of your palm, his heart thrashing about when you leaned close to him for the first time.
“Oh god, Hyunjin, I am so sorry! I shouldn’t have jumped!” You babbled, “Are you okay?”
He couldn’t see your eyes, but he could imagine them to be filled with his reflection. If he could untie your blindfold just to see that glory, he would, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to have you see him show this kind of vulnerability yet.
For the longest time, he had masked his affection with mischief and playfulness. His eyes were always bright when you looked at him, he made sure of that. He wanted you to know he enjoyed your presence, he wanted you to know that he loved you majestically, with brightness and charm.
He wasn’t ready for you to see him love you in any other way yet. Like at night when he would think about you, and he realized he could love you quietly; where his whole body turns soft as if he has no bones to break and the rare sentiment behind his eyes float like the petals on calm rivers. It was drastically different from the morning suns he showed you.
When Hyunjin loves you in the morning, he is electrically energizing. He makes you laugh and he makes you roll your eyes. When he loves you at night, he is free and vulnerable but he can never hurt, not by you. And hopefully, when the day comes that you finally get to see him in such naked glory, he can make you love as well.
“I’m fine, don’t worry,” he replied. “Are you?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, smiling in relief, “thank you for catching me.”
Hyunjin kept his gaze on your lips longingly. He nodded, “Always.”
You kept glancing at him. He could see the worry thrashed between each flicker of your eyes, staring and observing him just in case you catch him flinching when the wind accidentally hits him too hard. He almost wanted to prank you for it, just imagining how panicked you would be if he acted dramatically about the bruise that probably formed on his hip bone and possibly his back too.
He probably would have if he wasn’t so dazed from the previous trial.
“Stop looking at me like that, I said I’m fine,” Hyunjin mumbled with his head facing forward and his free hand shoved in his pocket.
“I’m just worried,” your voice trailed off as you looked away, abiding by his wish to stop subtly checking up on him.
“I know.” His heart softened and his voice was softer. “Thank you for worrying about me, but it’s just a small fall. You might be heavy but I am much stronger than you think.”
You smiled, your lips pursing and your eyes rolling to the side with a glare. He just had to go ahead and ruin the light-hearted moment. Shoving him with your shoulder, your strength not strong enough to push him away because, well, your hands were still taped together, you reached over to smack his arm with your free hand. “Should have smashed your bones when I had the chance.”
“Ouch, that’s harsh,” he giggled, shaking his head in disbelief.
When his laughter finally quieted down, he smacked his lips together with a head tilt, recalling the scene where you sat on top of him on the floor just then, his eyes ablaze and his mind afloat. His heart clenched again remembering the way your hand touched his jaw and the sound of urgency dripped from your lips, for him.
“You were worried when you dropped on top of me, you know,” he mentioned, turning to you. “It surprises me more and more just how much you really care about me.”
You gagged in annoyance, wanting nothing more than to blow him off. Why did he have to say it out loud? He could have just kept that to himself and allow himself to feel the bliss in silence. If you agree with him, it would give him the satisfaction that he was right, which yes! He was right! But your stubbornness would hate it for him to get that right and for him to show that smug grin of his.
“No, I only acted that way because I was the one who dropped on you.” You pointed at yourself to put emphasis. “If you fell on your own or if somebody else dropped on you, I would have laughed before asking if you are okay.”
“Oh? So you would still ask me if I’m fine,” Hyunjin sang pleasantly.
“Of course! I’m not heartless or anything,” you mumbled truthfully. “And you’re my friend. I’m not gonna leave you to die or anything.”
His bubbly mood vanished in an instant. Uncertain to why he suddenly felt such a strong hatred towards the label, he averted his sharpened gaze towards some poor middle-schoolers walking past the hallway. The word ‘friend’ has never earned any strong reaction out of him, it was just a label, he didn’t care much about that. So why now?
Was it because you ditched him to have a fun time with perfect Jisung? Was it because you humored Seungmin the possibility of you falling in love with him over a stupid ribbon clip? Was it because you tried to solidify him as just a good friend twice within twenty minutes?
He was attacked relentlessly by you, and it was not the usual insult battles. You poked him right between the veins of his heart by verbally—and playfully—reinforcing his worst fate: the thought of you being with another, loving another, while he sits and watches. They were all friendly jokes to you, but your friendly jokes were his nightmare.
And unfortunately, those kinds of nightmares are often left unbeknownst to the person causing them.
“That’s good to hear.” He mumbled half-heartedly, and you could hear it in his voice that he was upset, you just didn’t know why.
It was your turn to stop in the hallway, pulling at your joined hand to keep him from walking farther away from you. When Hyunjin turned around to look at you with faint confusion in his eyes, you were taken back by how different he appeared. The monotonous expression on his face was unsettling to you, but instead of being able to see right through that he was upset about all that he felt for you, you simply assumed he was annoyed from what happened.
“I did hurt you pretty badly, huh?” You whispered to yourself, glancing down at the floor before looking back up at him. Your eyes brightened with a captivating force, a courageous glimmer Hyunjin has never seen before; it made him breathless for a moment, unable to conjure thoughts of his own as you fill yourself in his head easily.
“Let’s get something to eat. I heard someone bought a cotton candy machine to school today,” you said, curling your fist. “My treat, for falling on you.”
Hyunjin frowned, “I told you I’m okay–“
“No, I’m not okay with it. I have to treat you something!” you urged, taking a step forward to get closer to him. “It’s not a date, but have lunch with me.”
It was hilarious to think that you really believe if you had crushed his hip bone, buying him lunch and asking him first would be able to compensate for the painful damage. But it was even more hilarious to know that Hyunjin would forgive you with that, as if he hadn’t already forgiven you for it.
"Here," Hyunjin said as he carefully took a spoonful of rice and a piece of chicken, moving it to your mouth slowly.
You had long gotten over the fact that you forgot you were the one who got the dominant hand taped to Hyunjin, resulting in the need for him to feed you the food you bought. You did resist the urge to eat, all just to make sure you would be caught having him feed you food. But you've merely had a piece of bread with a minimal amount of strawberry jam this morning, and your stomach went against your will to growl in front of his face as he munched on the orange chicken combo.
"You know–this is better than I thought it would be," you twirled the straw in your hand, the ice in the foam cup clattering against each other. After taking a sip, you eyed Hyunjin and asked, "Are you sure you don't want to try it? I know it's homemade but it's not like it's poisoned."
"How do you know it isn't?" Hyunjin asked.
You rolled your eyes, "I don't think our school has any potential homicidal maniac."
He huffed, messing around the food with the plastic spoon before he spooned one up and took a bite for himself. You sniffed the air a little, taking in a prolonged breath before glancing at him again, prepared to ask the same question of whether he would like to try the homemade slushie because you were about to finish the whole cup.
"Alright, fine, I'll try it," he dropped the spoon and grabbed the cup. He, thoughtlessly, took a sip from the straw before he hummed, pleasantly satisfied by the fresh mango taste. When he finally looked up at you, your eyes flashed victoriously at him.
He rolled his eyes and pushed the cup back to you, muttering a very faint compliment with his head down. And then it was the obnoxious sound of sucking on straws that caught his attention. He perked up with furrowed brows, looking at you as you scanned your surroundings with your lips perched around the straw.
The space where his lips were just on, mind him.
Oh god, how did he not realize this—you two have been drinking from the same straw and eating from the same spoon for the entirety of this lunch! How did you not realize it? You were normally so attentive, you notice the little things; like if he so much as avert his eyes a little during the practice tests you make him do in the library or if he got a tiny band-aid around his thumb.
Maybe you did notice but didn’t say anything about it? Hyunjin rolled his eyes. Why did that thought make him want to smile? It is such a childish situation feel hearty for! It is just one of those indirect kiss situation. Hyunjin would much prefer to have a direct kiss if anything!
He dropped his head again, his hair falling prettily over his face, covering the faint smile that had made its way up. Tilting your head to the side curiously, you tried to meet eyes with him anyway as you pulled the drink away from your mouth and called for his attention. Your brows furrowed in confusion when he glanced slightly at you, taken back by his suggestive smirk.
“What?” You asked.
“We have been using the same utensils this whole time,” he pointed out, gesturing towards the plastic cup with the spoon.
It took you a moment. You had to glance back and forth between the straw and the open-air surrounding you, your head filled and processing with thoughts even though the subject matter was an easy one: you two—indirectly—swapped spit, to put it grossly. When it finally hit you, your jaw hung open in shocked realization and your hand gripped the plastic cup tighter because of it.
“Okay,” you shrugged, putting the cup down and returning your hand to your lap you clutched a hold of your uniform, “what about it?”
Hyunjin hummed inwardly, an intrigued hum. He sat up straighter and leaned his temple against the back of his fingers after he propped his elbow up on the lunch table. The tip of his tongue poked against his inner-cheek, showing itself briefly when his mouth widened to release a low chuckle. It was just like always; your mouth was saying one thing but your body was reacting a different way.
“I don’t know,” he shrugged, mocking a pout, “you are the one blushing, not me.”
You glared to the side, your hand instinctively flying up to check the heat of your cheek. It felt normal, and you figured Hyunjin was probably just messing with you. But the fact that you went ahead to check for yourself had just given him more windows to make fun of you, seeing that he was trying so hard to hide the grin against the back of his hand as he looked at you with a somewhat affectionate gaze.
“Yeah–okay, so we drank from the same straw. Big deal, Hyunjin.” You rolled your eyes, moving forward to give his shoulder a hard shove. “Friends do that. It’s whatever.”
Your third time trying to trap him with a label and you did it, again, with the most dubious voice you could ever muster. You couldn’t even sound confident in yourself about just being friends with him, how was Hyunjin supposed to be convinced by you? Not to mention he never wanted to be convinced of that idea.
The look he gave you a second after your voice dropped was unreadable. His smile was gone and his expression bounced back to one of neutrality. It was when he suddenly scooted closer to you, closing the distance you had carefully placed between you both on the bench, his free hand palming over your balled-up fist. You could only stay stoic in place when he leaned closer to your face, his eyes sharp as a cat looking through your every thought.
“Please, (Name),” he whispered boldly. “You and I both know we are not that kind of friends.”
He was so close, almost too close. Your wide eyes shook desperately to find a space to place themselves, anywhere but at him, yet it kept being pulled back to his face where your heart laid down its many desires. Your mind scrambled to find something to say; a retort, preferably something snarky to save the last drip of dignity your heart was ready to give away.
“You know what I mean,” he said, arching a brow, “don’t you?”
It felt like he was getting closer because you could feel the prickling of his hair against your cheek. And you couldn’t move, you didn’t quite want to move at this point. The worst thing he could do was kiss you in front of everyone, and by your standard that could never be the worst thing Hyunjin could do to you. If anything, it would be the best thing; it helps spring forth your night fantasies.
The only worst thing he could do is kiss you and not mean it, and some broken parts of you were very afraid that the scenario would take up most of the possibility.
“Ew! They are gonna kiss each other, gross!”
Hyunjin closed his eyes. One could tell easily from the clenching of his jaw that he was beyond annoyed, but who could blame him? It felt like the perfect moment just then, it was like you were waiting for him to make a move first and he was so determined and so excited to do something about your willingness to stay on the spot for him. He has waited ages for that!
To have the right moment be ruined by some stranger’s immature, young sibling was absolutely aggravating.
You cleared your throat as you pushed him away by the shoulder, turning to your side to smile at the little kid who was shamelessly pointing his index finger at you both. You were not sure if you wanted to thank the child or be disappointed that nothing came out of that gut-wrenching moment. You had powered through it for nothing, your heart jumped so strongly for a kid to ruin it all.
“Fucking brat,” Hyunjin muttered under his breath as he threw the five-year-old a glare, causing the little boy to stick his tongue out before he ran away laughing just in case Hyunjin suddenly decided to jump him for being disrespectful.
“Were you really planning on fighting the kid?” You asked when you saw him relax against the edge of the table. And you laughed when he nodded with his eyes closed, his face perched skywards to feel the blueness. “Honestly, I feel like you would have done the same thing.”
Hyunjin opened his eyes, squinting it because of how bright the sky was. “Hate to break it to you,” he mumbled. “But I think I have always been good at judging if a situation is important enough for me to not ruin it.”
You wanted to ask what he meant. If he genuinely thought what happened was important and why he thought so. But you only fiddled with the hem of your shirt, staying in silence for a minute before you stood up and urged him to head back into the game with you.
Game III: The Routine Game
Felix beckoned you over to him when he saw you making your way through the front door. You did so with a smile, glad to see a friendly face around when you were stuck overthinking about everything that happened during lunch.
"Lixie! I didn't know you are coming to school today!" You exclaimed when you dragged Hyunjin over to him, one arm wide open in preparation for a hug.
"Jisung asked me for help at the last minute so I came. " He giggled, opening his arms for you as well. "I have never helped out with school fairs so I wanted to try it out, with this being my last year and all!"
Hyunjin scoffed when you reached over to give Felix a tight hug, pressing your cheek against his for a quick moment before you pulled away. If you had stayed a second too long, he would have pulled you backward using your joint hands, pretending like he made a mistake and forgot your hands were taped together or something.
God, how many adorable boys were you friends with, exactly? Too many for his romantic journey to be an easy fight. Just when he thought the list stopped at Seungmin and Jisung, another one popped up.
This one has a very nice smile too, and a voice that sounds like old wine made out of red liquified velvet. Attractive and a very nice voice, also seems extremely nice. How bloody fantastic. Hyunjin rolled his eyes and turned back to observe Felix, he hummed.
Well, at least he wasn't that tall.
Felix looked behind you at Hyunjin when you pulled away. His eyes brightened innocently as they traveled down to your taped hands, and then his mouth opened in cheery surprise as he pointed his finger back and forth between you two.
"Ah, so you two are dating each other! I kind of figured but I never got around to asking," he waved his hand dismissively, his voice scrunching up funnily.
You drew in a light breath. What the hell was up with people assuming you and Hyunjin are together? Was it only because of the taped hands? Because that would be a stupid thing to base the assumption off on. It should be because you two felt like a couple, right? You knew you would much rather have that be the reason.
"We aren't... we aren't actually dating," you denied, giving Felix a laugh. "He just happened to be around when we signed up for the game."
"Oh?" Felix tilted his head to the side. You almost had you convinced, but just one simple look at Hyunjin was enough to break the bubble of trust. And when he turned back to you, he was able to notice facial movements he didn't think too much about before.
He lowly hummed, suddenly acknowledging the tension floating between you both—the tension that steamed from the line of love and lust, both very permanent and flaming. It was almost overwhelming to just look at you both and know so much more than you two boneheads do about each other.
"That's fine. It's not like that's required or anything." Felix shrugged. "Let me explain the game to you so you two can be done with it then, it must be awkward to hold hands for so long."
You didn't speak, you just smiled at Felix as he walked behind the table where several skincare products were placed. Come to think of it, the hand-holding stopped bothering you so much after the first game. You could still feel his hand, having yet to turn into a sweaty mess, but you were doing it naturally now unlike the first moment he slipped his fingers through yours.
You have grown to feel calm with his presence; the honeymoon phase where you would jump out of your skin at the smallest contact with Hyunjin just passed without a word. Everything was just meant to be now—calm and made for each other.
The only heart-racing trigger you have would be the idea of having to separate from him at the end of this and feel how empty your hand would be without his own to cling onto.
"This game is easy. All you have to do is apply all these skincare products here on the other,” Felix explained. "Just like a night-time routine! And don't worry, they're just lotions and toners so they probably won't ruin your skin too much."
You grimaced at his threatening wordings, but you laughed after Felix left you both to carry out the game. You looked over at Hyunjin, "You can afford some breaking to your skin quality."
He laughed, "You, on the other hand."
You gave him a defeated sigh, not bothering to say anything in return. "Yeah, I know." You resisted the urge to press your palm to your cheek. "Makes my whole face all jacked up."
"I didn't mean it like that," he frowned, squeezing your hand for the first time since the second trial game.
"Yeah, I know that too." You softly replied, looking at the bottles of cream and lotion.
It took a while for you both to even twist the lids open. The couple that tinkered around with this set previously must have tried really hard to make it difficult for the next one. When you were finished with opening them all, you two finally got around to deciding that you would be applying everything on his face because for one, you did the last trial, and two, his flawless skin could afford some damage if there would be any.
"Hyunjin–" you sighed a little as you stared at him, then you asked while sitting straighter, your torso leaning forward as your hand moved over to his hair in an attempt to see if you could gather them all. “Have you tried tying your hair up?”
"What?" He questioned, grabbing your hand and moving it away from his hair.
"It would be easier if you can tie your hair up, it's like... in the way of your face right now," you complained. "And I am trying to put lotion on your face."
"Do you have a hair tie?" He asked then. "I can try doing that if you do."
You cursed under your breath, your empty wrists the perfect answer to his question. “Ah, whatever,” you dismissed the problem with a quick flick of your wrist. Turning to the opened bottles at hand, you smeared a small portion of white cream on your finger before turning back to him. You grimaced, carefully tapping his chin with your finger, “Move your chin up a little.”
He did as you told him to, his hair falling back against his ears when he did to reveal more of his face. You smeared the lotion on the tip of his nose first, then you proceeded to graze more on his cheeks, his chin, and his forehead before getting to smooth the cream out all over his face.
You tapped his face with feathery lightness, making sure nothing sneaks into his eyes or stains his hair messy.
For once your chest lacked the fluttery feeling even when you were so close to his face. You were so concentrated on your task; you muttered things under your breath, voicing the tiny movements of your hand, shooing his hair away when it kept falling over his face and forcing you to tuck it behind his ear. You did not register the longing present in Hyunjin’s eyes as he openly stared at you.
It was surprising at first, like he didn’t expect for such mere skin contact to create such an electrifying feeling, but with each swipe of your finger was a loving swirl of his heart and you led him to relax into himself soon enough.
“Okay, just one more and we’ll be done,” you said as you reached your finger into the jar and smeared the soft, artificially scented cream on top.
You carefully swiped your finger across his cheek, leaving a trail of whiteness on his baby soft skin. With your fingers spaced widely, you dabbed his skin with your index finger, precise and careful. And when your wrist got tired, you changed position to cup his jaw in your palm so you could finish the job with your thumb. Your movements were skilled, almost as if you were used to applying cream on Hyunjin.
His eyes have not once left you. But when you cupped his jaw this time, he found himself leaning his cheek against it. You paused, finally noticing him and the fondness displayed in the crinkle of his eyes and the curve of his smile. Hyunjin leaned on you like a child would cling to a trusted one, and he smiled at you as lovers would to each other.
A whispered laughter left your chest. You thought you were going to kiss him.
“Stop looking at me like that,” you mumbled, looking elsewhere as your thumb went back to working on his face.
He hummed out a giggle, “Like what?”
Like you are in love with me. You opened your mouth for a smile and didn’t speak.
A quick minute passed with you dodging his eyes and him following trails of your face. When you waved Felix back over, he handed you a quick nod of approval at how shiny Hyunjin’s face looked. At least he knew you did as the game asked you to. Before he could mark down a check on your joined hands, he looked between you both and asked.
“Did you two do the last thing?”
“What thing?” You tilted your head to the side, looking behind to check the products given to you on the table.
“Oh, right–I keep forgetting. It’s a surprise task at the end.” Felix snapped his fingers. “Since this is supposed to mimic a night routine, the surprise task is for the pairs to kiss each other to seal the night.” He dramatically said, staring off into a faraway distance.
The easy smile he gave you helped nothing to soothe your nervousness. He must be joking. It wasn’t like every pair who signed up to play this game were really couples anyway. Wiping your hand on your thigh, you awkwardly laughed, ‘Wha–what?”
Felix nodded, “A kiss.”
“Like, really? Like a legitimate one?”
“Yeah, what else?”
“But why? Do we have to do that?” You frowned, looking at Hyunjin who only occasionally glanced at you as he, too, kept his attention on Felix. “That’s weird, I don’t want to do that with him.”
“I mean…“ he waved his hand, paused at the rising tension fuelling between you two.
It was an abrupt request, Felix knew because he made it up on the spot, and even he thought maybe the joke would not be taken as amusing. He anticipated the shock from both of you, but so far he was only gaining a reaction out of you. You talked nervously, but you made it sound like you absolutely despised the idea of kissing Hyunjin. And that, that made Hyunjin… well, Felix couldn’t tell.
Hyunjin had an unreadable expression, which was how Felix saw him most of the time. Weary eyes and heavy shoulders—intimidating but not hopelessly scary. Felix always knew Hyunjin was soft, or at least he would be to a selective group of people; while he had no idea what goes on outside of the school, he knew that in school, the people who could break him out of that stoic facade were pretty girls, and then you.
And he could see it in Hyunjin’s eyes that he had always been much more sincere with you than everybody else.
Felix couldn’t see it on Hyunjin’s face at the moment, but he reckoned he wouldn’t be feeling too nice about your reaction. And you? He was more than confused at your defensive reaction. He was thinking it would lean more towards a shy, flustered, more entertaining response than a flat-out refusal.
“It’s just… it’s just–“ he was quickly cut off.
“They don’t want to do it, Felix,” Hyunjin mumbled.
“Yeah! I was just joking, it’s just a joke,” Felix said quickly, finding it increasingly harder to laugh the matter off.
You didn’t dare to turn to Hyunjin, scared that he might be looking at you with those guilt-inducing butterscotch eyes. “It’s not… it’s not a funny joke,” you muttered to yourself.
Felix signed you two off, trying to make light conversation with you. Hyunjin said nothing.
Seungmin watched as you and Hyunjin broke away from each other in silence, but it was not before your fingers lingered together for another moment longer.
"Thanks for the help," you said, twisting your wrist and folding your hands together to compensate for the chilling cold that hit your skin.
"No big deal. I am supposed to take the tape away," Seungmin replied with a shrug, retracting the cutter and throwing it back into the stationary box. "You can take the tape if you want to exchange the prize. It's probably just shitty things like pencils and notebooks though."
You smiled faintly with a nod, "Yeah. I don't think the school is gonna invest in anything more than that at a school fair."
When you turned around to ask for Hyunjin's opinion, you found that he was no longer standing next to you. Your shoulders slumped, it was his turn to abandon you somewhere this time, and like he said—you did not feel too happy about the wordless departure.
Taking notice of your tensed body, Seungmin raised his brows and gave your shoulder a light tap to catch your attention. When you whipped around to face him, he was taken back by your teary eyes.
"Did Hyunjin do something?" He asked suspiciously, finding it hard to believe the blond-haired boy would ever do anything to hurt your feelings.
You squeezed your hands together and shook your head, "No. I think I did something. I–I think he is mad at me."
He blinked. "Okay? You don't have to cry over it, do you? It's not like he has never been mad at you before."
"No, it's just–" you pursed your lips together.
Hyunjin has been mad at you before, rare but it has happened. He has a very high tolerance, he wouldn't speak of it even if you unreasonably take your frustration out on him. He would just make you treat him to snacks and drinks, and that would be the end of it. Not once has he ever given you the silent treatment he just did.
"I said something I didn’t mean and then he's upset about it," you said.
"What did you say?" Seungmin asked, leaning back against the desk and crossing his arms, ready to go full-on counselor mood for you.
You told him everything, about Felix's jokes and about how you reacted to it and about Hyunjin being visibly annoyed in the aftermath. Seungmin was frowning by the time you finished, less sympathetic, and more frustrated with the situation.
For one, Hyunjin didn't have to be so riled up over a stupid comment like that. You said it was weird to kiss him and you acted as you would hate it. That was it. He understood that Hyunjin could be upset that it sounded like a rejection, but he should have taken it as that—a rejection. There shouldn't be any hatred involved.
And then you. He just wanted to grab your shoulders and shake the feelings out of your sealed vault. How did you manage to do all that? How did you manage to lie to yourself so deeply that you could say things that go so much against your heart?
"I just want to make this clear, so I'm not giving you the wrong kind of advice," he said, pushing himself off the desk. "You like Hyunjin, correct?"
You gulped. Seungmin has very compelling eyes. "Yes."
"Do you know he likes you back?" He asked.
"I don't know," you shook your head.
"Good, now you do," he informed with a clap of his hands. "Hate to have it come from me but that dry-hay-for-hair boy likes you back."
You sighed, waving your hand at him, "No. I know–I don't know. Like... I don't know if he means it."
"Why wouldn't he mean it?" Seungmin questioned.
"Not with me, I don't think so," you fiddled with your fingers. "Why would he?"
"Don't ask me that, ask him. He is the only one who knows why he likes you," Seungmin said.
You glanced at the floor timidly, and Seungmin knew immediately that you were assuming the worst. What if Hyunjin couldn't say anything? What if there was nothing loveable about you?
Softening, he nudged your leg with his feet, making you look up at him with furrowed brows. His eyes skipped to the side where the classroom windows were and he pursed his lips at the sight he saw.
"You know, Hyunjin... he… I have never seen him cling so much to someone before. I don't know him that well but ever since middle school, I have never seen him hang out with just one specific person or one specific friend group." Seungmin tilted his head to the side. "Not gonna lie, I was kind of glad he got you as a friend. It was getting a little annoying to see him alone all the time."
"Hyunjin doesn't lack options, (Name). With that face, plenty of people flock to him any chance they get," he gestured towards the window, asking you to look.
Hyunjin has not gone too far. He was just outside, and a part of you hoped that he had just been waiting for you this whole time. His smile was so pretty as he smiled down at a small group of girls, possibly from another school judging by their casual clothes. You could practically hear his giggles from where you stood, laughing, and joking about with the strangers.
God, he gets along with people so easily. It should have hit you much sooner that Hyunjin could always drop you for someone better because there will be someone better awaiting his company and his affection.
"Not saying you are bad, (Name), but Hyunjin can always choose someone else," Seungmin said. "He just picks you, all the time, so why not give it a chance. What's the worst that can happen?"
"I get rejected and I have to face humiliation for the rest of my high school life because I can't exactly drop the tutoring job?" You mumbled.
"You worry too much." He rolled his eyes. "I figured I would be pretty upset too if someone I like thinks it'd be weird to kiss me. Wouldn't you?"
You grimaced. He has a point.
"Thank you," you said gratefully then, leaning in to give Seungmin a hug he didn't feel like returning.
You pulled away and took a deep breath before making your way out of the classroom. Your heart beat anxiously as you turned to face Hyunjin's back, then you called out his name. From inside the classroom, Seungmin watched with attentive eyes. His brows furrowed when Hyunjin didn't budge from his spot.
"Hyunjin, hello?" You called again, making sure you were loud enough for him to hear you over his own chatter.
The girls standing before him paused to look behind him, their eyes landing you awkwardly before they pointed your way, indicating to him that you had been standing there asking for him. Hyunjin paused in the middle of his sentence, wanting to turn around but the stubborn, bitter part of him told him to ignore you.
"Hyunjin–look, I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it," you said, your skin pricking when you saw the girls looking back and forth at you and him; you assumed he had started talking again, neglecting your words.
"Hey, I think that person is looking for you." One of them cut him off, glancing worriedly at you.
"They're no one important. It's fine.” His voice was light but his words were deafeningly loud.
Your brows raised in surprise. Your chest couldn't register the pain yet but you needed to feel something, so it slapped you with the closest emotion it could find. After the surprise was confusion, a dilemma you needed to choose. Did he say that because he was fuelled by anger or did your worst nightmare happened and he really just dropped you for people much better?
And suddenly you started to laugh out of fear, the fear of embarrassing yourself in front of all these people roaming the hall happily. Your mind was starting to twist and it was starting to process his words. They burst through your eardrums and circled your heart like thorny vines, torturing it until it explodes.
You needed to hide it, the tears threatening to fall as your heart finally took the damage of Hyunjin's words. You needed to mask it quickly before they fall. So you laugh, and you looked over to Seungmin who kept glancing between you and Hyunjin.
"You were wrong," you mouthed to him, shaking your head. And when he planned to walk towards you, you held up a hand to stop him.
If he came out to comfort you, you knew you would burst into sobs, and you would rather not do that.
You gave him a curt nod and turned around, quickly making your way to the stairway so you could get out of the school, or just anywhere you could let yourself out freely.
Someplace where laughing it off isn't required. Strangely, that place used to be wherever Hyunjin is.
Your vision was getting increasingly blurry, causing the little number dots in your locker's lock to fade into incoherent symbols.
After taking a breather in the restroom, hoping to God nobody walks in as you cried your heart out by the sink, you washed your face and decided it would be best for you to head home. At least then, you could curl yourself up in a ball on your bed and perhaps your mom could cook you some warm, comfort meal.
You turned the dial multiple times, keying in the combination again and again but to no avail. Frustration was starting to get the best of you the more your lock wouldn't open, at some point you didn't even try to turn the lock, you just forcefully pulled at the metal piece hoping that your anger could be channeled into strength.
You felt both annoyed and useless, but mostly you were heartbroken at what Hyunjin said. He didn't have to go as far as to say you were unimportant, did he? That was him throwing months of friendship away, and that was him stomping on your affection that has been months in the making, at this point going stronger than ever.
"Seven... fourteen... ten... fuck!" You exclaimed under your breath, rubbing your eyes to cast away the tears and to clear your sight before you tried again. Your hasty hands were all over the place, moving a little too far and a little too much, causing rounds of incorrect slightly wrong combinations.
In the midst of your temper tantrum, a pair of gentle hands reached from above and took over. You looked over to find Hyunjin standing behind you, his backpack slung over one shoulder. Your eyes grew weary, and for some reason, you couldn't bring yourself to be mad at him at all.
"There," he muttered after successfully unlocking the lock on the first try.
You looked back at the locker then, reluctantly opening your locker and taking your bag. During the entirety of you swinging your bag over shoulders and sealing your locker shut again, he stood behind you closely and you didn't dare spare him a glance nor a word.
Your fingers lingered on the lock dial, contemplating what you wanted to do. Should you ask if he meant what he said? Was he here to mend or to break your heart even further? Did you want to find out? You were more scared about the worst than you were hopeful about the best, so you probably didn't want to find out.
You didn't want to find out. It would be best but you would rather he makes his point by just not talking to you ever again. With that in mind, you heaved a sigh at your locker, the shudder in your voice forcing a few stalled tears to fall. You rubbed them away and turned to leave.
"How about a thank you?" Hyunjin called after you, slowly approaching you when you paused.
Abruptly turning around, you shrugged and looked at him with your red, puffy eyes. He gulped, finding it impossible to keep his expression neutral at the realization that he caused this.
"Thanks," you muttered and turned around to leave him again, but a hand held onto your school bag and stopped you from walking any further. You turned around when he let go, a saddened frown on your face, "What?"
"I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it," he said after staying quiet for a while, gathering his thoughts, perhaps.
"Yeah, well, I didn't know that," you laughed bitterly, rolling your eyes. "I–I don't even know if you mean what you just said.”
Hyunjin pursed his lips. His eyes widened as he seemed to have found something, something important about you. Your insecurity was something he never let his assumption trespass, something he now thought could have a strong relation to why you kept denying your feelings for him despite making your actions so obvious. It was because you didn’t think it’d be possible for him to love you.
He didn’t understand why you thought that way, but he understood that you possibly could so he wouldn’t ask you to explain everything to him explicitly until you were ready to tell him about it, on your own terms. But for now, there was something he desperately needed to do, something important.
Your torso leaned back when Hyunjin bent to your eye-level, his face a daring inch apart from yours. You worried if anyone would come by and catch you both stuck in such a position, but thankfully another class decided to perform, causing most people to flock to the school’s front yard instead of the student lockers’ floor.
“I will show you how much I meant what I said if you will let me,” he whispered, the intensity in his eyes once again making your knees weak.
He was too close. Your heart beelined up your throat and got itself stuck at the tip of your tongue, surrendering with a shaky breath. Not knowing what else you could say, thoughts forming in disarray, you resorted to letting your heart take full control of what you do. Your hands flew up to the side of his face and you kissed him first, closing your eyes tight in anticipation of the fireworks while you neglected the anxiety forming in your abdomen.
You pulled away for a brief second, your eyes groggily opening to get a glimpse of Hyunjin as the smacking sound of your impulsive kiss echoed in your ear. A smirk was all you caught before you closed your eyes again to welcome him forward.
And then Hyunjin was kissing you back; intensely, urgently, so hard that you felt your back hit against the locker because he couldn’t get close enough, so fervently your lips could feel each graze of his teeth. He placed his hand over your palm and the other slipped behind your head, pushing you to him as he drowned in the way everything was so tender about you—him clutching your hand, the smoothness of your hair, your swollen lips, and even the bridge of your nose.
The only thing rough about this was the kiss, and honestly, you two would not have it any other way.
The surface of your lips met when he pulled away, just close enough they brush past each other and lingered. You looked into his eyes, and suddenly you didn’t feel so scared anymore. Raising a brow playfully as a smile graced your lips, you asked, “A kiss is how you plan to show me you meant what you said?”
“Yeah,” he whispered, breathing air into your opened mouth as he stroked your cheek with his thumb. “Is it working?”
You giggled with a nod, leaning in to peck his lips once more. “I didn’t mean what I said either,” you muttered. “About it being weird if I have to kiss you and about me not wanting to do it.”
Hyunjin jutted his bottom lip out, a feign suspicious expression dawning on his face. His eyes crinkled adorably as he tilted his head, then his eyes traveled back to you from the ceiling, “Yeah, you’re gonna have to show me you really meant that.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you said, rolling your eyes, “we aren’t going to do that here though. We got lucky that no one walked through here just then.”
He moved away then, giving you space to compose yourself after he so eagerly shoved you towards the lockers. You smoothed out your uniform before looking up at him, finding him smiling down at you fondly. A tiny shiver ran down your spine then; you wanted this for so long but learning to admit that Hyunjin returned your feelings might take some convincing on your own part.
“Now that our relationship has changed drastically, we have a lot of important things to discuss,” Hyunjin mused as he approached you, casually slipping his into yours and lacing your fingers together. He glanced up at the ceiling with a hum before lower his head, giving you a cheeky grin. “You know, like blindfolds and stuff.”
You punched his arm, finding the chuckle he let out in response both infuriating and endearing. Just the way you knew him—insufferable but loveable, nonetheless, especially by you. “If that’s the case, then I think I should start first,” you pointed up at his head, “You and your hair.”
He frowned, fiddling it with his finger and twirling a strand carefully, “What about my hair?”
“It looks like hay,” you commented.
It doesn’t. It is a shade of brownish-blond, falling gorgeously over the sides of his face and shaping it perfectly. It glimmered as his eyes did, bright and flowery, and you kind of loved it.
summary: it’s kind of hard to be mean to your soon-to-be husband when he’s one of the kindest people you’ve ever met.
You were mad.
No, you were more than mad. You were enraged. How could your parents just...give you away like that? You wanted a life. You wanted to see the world before being tied down as a spouse. You had hardly ever been outside your kingdom, but here you were, sitting across a table from Prince Park Chan, your soon-to-be husband.
His father, King Park Jinyoung was in heavy discussion with your father, no doubt about the details of your wedding.
You angrily stabbed at your dinner with your fork, avoiding the gaze of the prince before you. You were sure he wouldn’t be a bad husband, you just weren’t ready to be wed.
The world was always against you.
Your mother sat to the left of your father, absentmindedly picking at her plate. She didn’t have anyone to really talk to, as the queen of the Park kingdom had died giving birth to Chan. Apparently, the king and queen were so in love that the king couldn’t bring himself to marry again. So he just ran the kingdom on his own. And now, his son, freshly 21, would take over.
You were just a pawn in this whole ordeal; a piece to place to make everything easy. You would be the second in command, and Chan would be the true leader. Chan was an only child, so it was his responsibility to keep royal power. You, on the other hand, had an younger brother who would take over when he turned 21.
The two kings decided that you and Chan would live together at your kingdom until the ceremony, then move back to the Park kingdom and start your lives there afterwards.
“Like a vacation,” your father had said. You had only scoffed.
It was kind of hard to stay mad at Chan when he was one of the kindest people you had ever met. He would open doors for you, let you get ready first. He always made sure you were taken care of. And you had yet to repay him that kindness, only giving him cold eyes and colder words. He was like a fire; warm and inviting. But you were ice; cold and frigid.
It didn’t help that you two shared a bedroom...and a bed. You fell asleep with your backs facing each other, but you always woke up with the somehow comforting weight of his arm draped over your waist.
“Good morning, Y/N.” he greeted you each morning with a smile that could light up the whole kingdom.
“Chan.” you always replied, sliding out of the warmth of your bed. The floor was always freezing, so you would always hurry into the bathroom. Baths were much warmer than your floor. Chan was warmer than your bath, but you wouldn’t allow yourself the thought. You were trying to stay mad at him.
The wedding was only a month away from your first meeting, and the constant preparations were exhausting. From guest lists to formal fittings to dance rehearsals, your feet were tired after the first day.
At one of these fittings, there was a knock on the door. Chan stepped into the room, his eyes shut tight as his stumbled about.
“Prince Chan, you know you’re not supposed to see each other like this before the wedding!” One of your tailors had scolded the young prince.
“I’m not peeking! I just want your opinions on this outfit? Does it match? Is it too much? Should I add a cape? Or a top hat? Would that be too much?” His arms were spread as he twirled around. He accidentally knocked a stool over, and the redness that came to his face made you laugh. That laugh made it worth it for him. He hadn’t seen or heard any expression from you except for anger the entire time he had known you.
“Add a cape. It might make you look more dangerous and less like a baby.” You had joked.
“Are you saying you’re into bad boys?”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all.” Now you were the one who was red. Not that Chan could see.
“If they want a cape, put me in a cape.” He had said before scrambling towards the door.
The tailors sighed, but it wasn’t an unhappy sigh. The whole palace had been waiting for you two to have an actual conversation.
It was even harder to stay mad at Chan when you walked into your shared quarters to find him sobbing.
It was obvious he was trying to hide it, from the way his back faced the door to the hand covering his mouth the muffle the sound.
“W...What’s wrong?” Your voice came out hesitant. Why would he tell you, anyway? You had been nothing but harsh to him.
He shook his head, handing you a few sheets of paper covered with ink. You scanned the words on the pages briefly, hoping that he would just tell you instead.
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m not a real Park.” He choked out. Your eyes widened, and you went back to the pages.
“My mom - the queen died while giving birth to the real Chan. But he was stillborn. So my father- the king’s assistant went out and took me from an orphanage in a different kingdom. And they made me into Park Chan. My real name is Chris. Chris Bang. And no one ever told me.”
You looked up from the papers and looked and Chan - really looked at him. It all made sense. He didn’t look like the king. You had just assumed that his pale skin and curly brown hair were traits from the queen. You placed the papers on your desk and sat on the bed next to Chan.
“Just because you’re not...blood related to the king doesn’t mean you’re not his son. You were still raised in the Park kingdom. You were still taught the ways of royals and how to run a kingdom. You’re still the prince, and you’re still going to be the king.”
“How can I be a good king if I’m not even one of them?” His voice sounded so small and broken. Without a second thought, you wrapped your arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer to you. His body tensed, but relaxed after a second. His tears were mostly gone now, reduced to sniffles and sighs.
“Being a leader isn’t about your blood, Chan. It’s about your heart and your head. Being a leader is about making the best decisions for the people you’re protecting. Who cares if you weren’t born a Park? You’re a Park now, and you’re always going to be one. And….and I’ll be one with you, in a few weeks.”
Chan picked himself up from off your chest and smiled; another one of those smiles that could light up your whole kingdom. And for the first time, you smiled back.
“Good morning,Y/N.” Chan mumbled the next morning, the weight of his arm keeping you pressed against the bed.
“Good morning, Chan.” you replied, and the little gasp you heard from behind you made you giggle. You sat up, looking down at the boy with a smile on your face. His eyes were wide and his mouth was open a little bit. He placed a hand on his chest, “The first good morning I’ve ever gotten from you. Where has Y/N gone?”
“Oh shut up. And go get ready, we have work to do today.” Your face was flushed from his words and you rolled your eyes.
The next week continued like this, with you showing Chan your nicer side. It wasn’t just him that was surprised, it was the whole palace. You used to walk in front of Chan, not caring whether he followed you or not. Now you two walk side by side, chatting about random things. You two quickly learned almost everything about each other. You would lie awake at night, telling stories about your childhoods and families. He told you that he used to run around the streets of his village with his friend and assistant Felix, and the two would get into trouble almost every day. And in return, you told him that you and your younger brother used to take paint from the palace artist and paint the hallways of your palace. He laughed, a comforting sound that made your heart swell with something new. He told you that one day, your kids would probably do the same. If he had said that to you three weeks ago, you would’ve slapped him. But now, the thought of it made you...happy?
Since accepting Chan into your life, your feelings had gone haywire.
Every moment spent with the brunette was a good one. Even the horrid dance practices where he stepped on your toes every 30 seconds were fun. Maybe because he always apologized with a little blush on his face, looking down at the floor to concentrate more.
“You know, you’re gonna have to look at me when we do this for real.” You had said one day.
“Yes, but on that day, you’re going to look so amazing, you’ll be the only thing I look at.” He had replied, not looking up from the ground. His words made your heart race, but you ignored the pounding in your chest to reply.
“Are you saying that our feet are better looking than me today?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
That comforting laugh of his returned, and it made anything he said okay.
The world was always against you.
That’s why you had to ask the ladies putting last minute fixes on your outfit to leave so you could have a moment alone.
That’s why your hands were balled into such tight fists, your palms were bleeding.
That’s why your eyes were stinging with tears and your cheeks were burning.
That’s why anxiety coursed through your veins and made you sick to your stomach.
And that’s why Chan had to come in to surprise you before your wedding.
“Hey, hey, hey, what’s the matter?” You hadn’t even noticed his presence until his arms were around your waist. His chin rested on your shoulder as he tried to meet your eyes in the mirror. You refused to look at him, instead busying yourself with looking at the cuts on your hands.
“Y/N. Talk to me. I’m literally about to be your husband. Communication is important in a healthy marriage.”
“I can’t do this.”
Chan was expecting this. He had noticed how nervous you had been during the days leading up to the wedding. Luckily enough, he had planned for this. He took your wrists in his hands, leading you over to the sink so he could wash your hands off. You flinched at the pain, but you didn’t try to leave.
“What are you afraid of?”
“People looking at me. Not living my life to the fullest. Disappointing my parents. Spiders, kinda. Disappointing you.”
“Okay, so I’ll kill all the spiders. But, anyway, you could never disappoint me.” Chan turned the water off, wrapping your hands up with bandages. He lead you back over to where you were before and wrapped his arms around your middle again. This time, you allowed him the eye contact.
“You’ve grown so much in just the past month, baby. You let me, a stranger, come into your life in such an intense way. But after a little while, you accepted me. You understand me. You know things about me that almost nobody else knows. You and I? We’re gonna rule this place. Together. And bad things are probably gonna happen, because that’s life, but I know you. You’re strong enough to get through it all. But the first step is…” Chris let go of you, turning you around so you were facing him, “The first step is being mine and marrying me, okay? And not as the future rulers of the Park kingdom, forced to be together by some contract. I want you to marry me as Chan and Y/N, two people who love each other. Or at least like each other.”
“H-How did you know-”
“I’m not that dumb, Y/N. I see how happy I make you. And I know I could make you even happier. It’ll be you and me against the world, yeah?” His lips were on your forehead, then your nose, then your cheeks.
“Can you do that for me, baby? Do you want to?” He pressed his lips to yours for just a second. But that second was enough. You felt it through your entire body: this is the person you’re supposed to be with. This is your soulmate.
as always, please don’t take these too seriously. these are meant to be fun headcanons and that’s all!
sir/master/daddy - i mean,,,,no questions asked right? i know it’s something of a running joke with the whole baby girl/daddy thing but i do think he likes being addressed as superior and being dominant in the ~bedroom~ 10/10 would address himself in the 3rd person like: “do you want master to ruin you, baby?”
bondage (giving) - yeah so i think he would have a thing for completely restricting your movements moreso as a way to show his power and keep you under control if needed and he would love to tie you up with pretty patterns too
sensory deprivation (giving) - blindfolds for sure 100%, especially if in he’s in the mood for punishing you, he would loves to take away your sight, maybe even your hearing if he can just as a way to rile you up and tease you
temperature play (giving) - while i think he would dabble on both sides of the spectrum with wax and ice, i think he would lean more towards wax play because he could see the results of the wax better than the ice. like bondage, i think he’d like making pretty patterns with the wax on your skin and seeing how your body reacts to it
exhibitionism - i don’t think he would care where you get down and he wouldn’t have any shame about asking to get down in public. the thrill and rush of possibly getting caught would get him going for sure
impact play (giving) - primarily spanking imo and with similar reasoning to the wax play where he would want to see how your body reacts to spanking ((only if you’re okay with it ofc)) but also something that gives him more power and asserts further dominance = huge turn on
humiliation - i can’t see chan being okay with humiliating a partner in any way. sure public sex, but straight up humiliation would be a no. i think he would have trouble with it even if you asked him to do it, just not something he’d be comfortable or happy doing
other members below the cut
thigh riding - reasoning: a) he has nice thighs b) he knows how to use them c) wants to see you fall apart on them d) has nice thighs e) did i say nice thighs already bc he has nice thighs and def would be into seeing you fall apart while riding them
breath play (giving) - this ties into the next one but breath play would be something so sexy and attractive to him and the level of trust that goes into it would be so intimate for him. i see him as an emotional lover even if on the kinkier side, so that level of intimacy and trust would be v much a turn on
power play - maybe it’s just the vibes i get, but i think he would want to be in control and def strikes me as a dom. again with the trust, having you trust him enough to hand the power over and put yourself in his hands would be such a turn on and v intimate for him
praise (giving/receiving) - 10/10 would want to tell you how pretty gorgeous stunning beautiful every compliment under the sun for you and tell you how well you’re doing even if a little vulgar on occasion, he would just want to praise you. he would love the same in return if only to know that he’s doing well and pleasing you
cuffs (giving/receiving) - i think he would maybe have a thing for even slightly restricting your movements but maybe not anything too extreme or drastic like bondage could be. he would stick to simple/light bondage and cuffs bc he would want to get you out of them really quick if need be or if he gets impatient
degradation (giving) - imo you can have praise and degradation at the same time and i think minho would be into both and want to explore both. im more iffy about degradation compared to praise bc im ~uncertain~ but degradation could be something he’s interested in exploring further if you’re down for it
cuckolding - i think he would Not be happy about this in the slightest, an immediate no, not one to share, and he wouldn’t even want to think about it. on a sexual level, he would want to be the only one to give you that kind of pleasure, and on an emotional level, he would be far too jealous to even entertain the thought
breath play (giving) - ie that clip of him kissing felix’s cheek and he full on chokes felix and tells him to ‘stay still’ like yeah,,,yeahhh that’s some dom energy right there and that’s some choking energy right there as well 10/10 would be into choking
impact play (giving) - moreso on the spanking side like chan, but i think he leans towards having a power kink as you’ll see laterz and he is strong and would love to use that to his advantage wherever he can, if you’re down for it as well
master/sir - back on that dom shit, he would get so turned on by you addressing him as a superior. im more on the fence about daddy bc i personally don’t see it as much of a superiority thing but that’s just me personally. master/sir for sure tho
facefucking - i think this is something he would be interested in trying and exploring, but he would be shy about bringing it up or mentioning it to you in any way. there’s a lot of dominance to facefucking, and he would love that aspect, he would just have a hard time bringing it up
power play/exchange - another thing i think he would have a hard time bringing up, the whole aspect of you putting your body in his hands and giving him permission to do whatever he pleases with you is enticing on all levels, but maybe not something on the forefront of his mind
edging (giving/receiving) - maybe not something he would bring out or use a lot in the bedroom ((or wherever you are)) but def something that he could enjoy from time to time. moreso giving than receiving, he would love to make you squirm and beg. as for receiving, he might let you try your luck a little bit but cave not long after
temperature play - i think this would be like ‘idek what im doing no matter how many times you explain it or how much research i do’ and he would just go nah nevermind let’s not because he’d be afraid of messing it up or accidentally hurting you in some way
hair pulling (giving/receiving) - yall know it’s because of his hair but it’s the perfect length for some tugging and pulling. i think he’d be so into it if you tugged and pulled on his hair while going down on you, and he would def wanna do the same in return, or while he’s fucking you
cum play - things hyunjin would wanna do: a) fill you up with cum b) fuck his cum into you c) smear his cum over your body d) pick up cum that he's smeared over your body and fuck it into you. dirty but hot and that would be such a turn on for him
finger sucking (giving) - he has long ass fingers and pretty hands. something tells me that he would just love to have those fingers in your mouth while you're fucking or even before that just to stretch your lips or play with your tongue. it would be hella hot to him
toys - i see hyunjin as an experimentor and think that he would like to at least try dabbling with toys to see how much pleasure it brings you or him. maybe not anything too extreme, but some simple toys that can be discreet if needed
lingerie - hyunjin would love to see you all dressed up for him :c would be so delicate and gentle with you, just want to touch you all over while you're dressed up, and even fuck if the lingerie would allow it
size kink - hyunjin is tall compared to the other members, and while i don’t think it would be something crucial, he would just like feeling big or you being small or being in a position that makes you look smaller than him bc it would be a turn on
extreme sadism - i don’t think hyunjin could be cruel or sadistic during sex, even if you ask him to be, because he would constantly be worried about whether he’s going too far, doing too much, what’s okay and what isn’t, even if you explicitly state all that, it’s something that he’d probably think about all the time so he’d rather not go there
power exchange (giving/receiving) - i feel like jisung could definitely swing to both sides of the dom/sub spectrum depending on his partner, so there’s some switch energy there. if he’s domming, i think he would find it supportive sexc if you gave up power and let him take all control. same concept with the subbing side, since he finds it attractive, he would like giving up all control to you
facefucking - even tho i think there’s a lot of dominance in facefucking, i think jisung would be into receiving it even if he’s subbing. hands in hair holding you down and keeping you on his cock just so he can feel your throat tighten around him, he would def be into it
orgasm control (giving/receiving) - playing on the power exchange, he would love the idea of an orgasm being in someone else’s hands, either his if he’s domming or yours if he’s subbing
temperature/ice play (giving) - moreso ice play than wax play because i think he would love to drag ice over your body and see how you react aka goosebumps chills moans that sort of thing then he would adore making out with you and involving ice in it
corruption - i put this in maybe simply bc of the power exchange and switch energy, but if he’s in control and domming, i think the idea of ‘ruining’ you would be a big turn on for him. would probably throw a bit of dirty talk and degradation in there as well
marking (giving/receiving) - i think jisung could be super possessive so marking would be something that he would love because it shows a) that you are his and b) that he is yours. he would want to almost show it off
pain play - pain would be off the table, giving or receiving, i don’t see him as the type to enjoy receiving pain, and i really don’t think he would want to hurt you even if you ask him to. he would feel guilty about it and he def would not be the one to bring it up in any capacity
praise (giving/receiving) - these get harder the lower i go and i was kinda conflicted on felix for a long time but i think he’s on the Softer and more of a romantic lover rather than a hard fucker. praise would be a huge encouragement to him, and he would love to give it in return to reassure and just compliment you
overstimulation (giving) - the idea of overstimulating you would be such a turn on for him, seeing your pleasure over and over again as you fall apart under his touch, yeah he’d like it
cockwarming - i consider this to be something softer and more intimate compared to other things out there, and since i think felix is on the softer side, i believe this would def be something he’s into or at least wants to try
sensory deprivation (giving/receiving) - i would say this is limited to blindfolds and not much else but even if he is a soft lover, i think he would love the excitement of blindfolding or being blindfolded but it might be one of those things that’s he’s hesitant to try bc he isn’t sure if he likes it or not
light bondage (giving) - i dont think he’d let you tie him down or restrain him much because he would want to be touchy feely and have contact with you at all times, but he might want to dabble in some light restraints on you while overstimulating you
edging (receiving) - rather than overstimulation, he would more prefer edging because something about the ~feeling~ just is so worth it and pleasing. i will say it’s probably not something he would ask for often
exhibitionism/voyeurism - i just don’t envision felix as someone who would be comfortable having sex in the open or seeing it happen either. he would probably be someone who wants to keep it in the bedroom
power exchange - seungmin was hard as well but once i started thinking about it, it came easier. i could envision him as a full dom or a switch leaning dom so power exchange would be something i think he’d be into. the idea of being giving all the authority would be sexc to him
sir/master/daddy - popping off the power exchange, i think he’d also enjoy being called any of these three during sex. a dominance thing, a show of authority and power, he’d be into it
marking (giving/receiving) - i could see seungmin being a bit on the possessive side too, so he would wanna every inch of your body to show that you are his and you belong to him and no one else can have you. while he wouldn’t mind you marking him, i think he’d prefer to give rather than receive
orgasm control (giving) - all these are gonna be playing off the dom side klasjdflkj but there is so much power in controlling someone’s orgasm, and i see him as the type to say ‘you can’t cum unless i say so’ and it would be a lot of push and pull with him
lingerie - it’s ~pretty~ and i think he’d be weak for you in lingerie, he’d just melt and lose it, and praise galore just wanting to say how perfect and gorgeous you are especially as he fucks you, but he wouldn’t miss it too much if you aren’t into it
exhibitionism - an iffy thing simply because he does strike me as a bit shy at first, but i think past that he would wanna get riskier and riskier and push the boundaries as far as he can
bondage - i do think he leans towards being a hard dom, but i don’t think bondage would be the thing for him unless it’s something you want to try. he may not have the patience for tying you up or untying you so i think he’d rather keep it sweet and simple without bondage
praise (giving/receiving) - okay finally the hardest hardest hardest member to write this for, i still see jeongin as a sweet innocent boi so it was hard to think about sdfoijsdfoi but like felix i think he’d lean towards the softer side of things. praise would be an absolute must because he just wants reassurance that he’s doing well and he’d want to give it in return
sensation play (giving) - definitely only soft or cold things simply because he might see those as the safest and most pain free options. silk scarves and feathers would be something he’d want to try out on you but i can’t see him wanting it done on him in return
cockwarming - another Soft kink, i think the intimacy of cockwarming would be rather appealing to him and it would be something he loves doing, altho i think it would be harder to hold back and sit still
lingerie - another lover of pretty things, jeongin would love seeing you dressed up, especially if it’s a surprise after a long day or something like that. praise would go through the roof and into space and he would be worshipping you
sensory deprivation (giving) - again another who i think would only go for blindfolds, this would play off the sensation play and soft things like silk. he would love how playful it could get if you’re blindfolded
light bondage (giving) - playing off how playful and teasing jeongin can be, i think he would get a rise out of seeing you tied up or restrained a little. nothing too dramatic or intense, and probably not something he would bring out a lot tho
exhibitionism - in short, shy boi. long explanation, i don’t think he’d want to take it outside the bedroom or anything like that because he strikes me as the type who wants to keep sex as intimate and personal as possible so he’d rather be in private and only with you
a lil smt smt i’ve been working on over time :3 jeongin’s was the hardest tbh lsdkjflkjsdl i tried my best but whew and for lingerie!!! i mean for that to be all inclusive, not just strictly female. and thank you to @a-tiny-8iny for the brainstorming we did good work 💆♀️
warnings: unprotected sex, semi-public sex (nothing too wild though luv)
word count: 624
chan’s thrusts into you are fluid yet passionate as he slowly and lazily fucks you into the leather couch in the studio, which is now sticky with sweat. chan’s head was shoved into the crook of your neck as he lazily nipped and sucked at the junction your neck and shoulder, prompting you to card your fingers through his now damp dark hair.
you had decided to pay your boyfriend a quick visit to give him some more pineapple juice while he grinded out new tracks in his studio. after you gave chan his juice, you decided to stick around to keep him company. the two of you wasted an hour or two scrolling through tik tok and joking around with each other, just enjoying each other’s company. after some time, chan began to play some songs off of his computer, some of his own and some by other artists. majority of the tracks he chose to play were slow and sensual, which is what led the two of you to be in your current position.
the steady beat of baekhyun’s stay up filled the small space of the studio as chan continued his assault on your entrance, his mouth creating a slick trail from your neck down to your chest. you let out a faint breathy moan of his name as he begins to kiss down the valley of your tits, inducing you to close your eyes and let the music and chan’s body take over you.
you begin feel the knot in your stomach tighten as chan removes his lips from your chest and reconnects them with your own. in an attempt to reach your high, you subtly begin to roll your hips upward in time with chan’s thrusts, which are now more intense as he chases his own orgasm.
chan detaches his mouth from yours before gingerly sucking and tugging on your earlobe with his teeth and lips. “mmm... are you close babygirl?” he raspily growls into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “uh-huh - i need something more though channie.” you respond to him as you tenderly drag your nails down the pale skin of his back.
chan starts to slide his length in and out of you with a heightened intensity before his hand drifts down to where the two of you connect. his slender fingers rub your clit in small and fast circles and within a few moments, your release washes over you. you curl your toes at the magnitude of the feeling, stars exploding behind your closed eyelids as you elicit a loud whine.
chan finishes momentarily after you do, his thrusts aid in riding out your own orgasm as he bites down on your shoulder and emits a deep groan before you feel his hot cum fill you up. since you’re on the pill, you don’t mind. you lay on the couch in euphoria as you stare up at the ceiling while you regain your breath. chan is collapsed on top of you, beads of sweat rolling down his neck to his shoulders as he tries to regain his composure as well.
“thanks for keeping me company tonight y/n. usually i’m just alone in the studio but i really had a great time tonight.” chan mumbles as he slowly pulls himself away from you before lightly placing a chaste kiss on your forehead. “i had a great time too” you say as you flash him a small smile as he gets up and hands you your clothes. the two of you take your time getting changed before you exit the building into the crisp night air.
the next morning, jisung and changbin almost vomit as they sit down on the couch and find it sticky.
description: minho isn’t a cuddly sleeper. minho is wrong.
word count: 1.1k +
author’s note: this is... such a stupid little drabble.
Don’t get him wrong, Minho absolutely loves touching you, in every single way possible.
He loves wrapping his arms around your waist and how instinctively he does so when you sit on his lap, he loves sliding his hands up and down your sides whenever gentle pecks turn into passionate kisses and how you still shiver beneath every whisper of his fingers, he loves holding your hand at the most random, unnecessary times of a day and the way you always reciprocate his gentle yet firm grip on your hand.
But cuddling in his sleep just wasn’t really his thing, he thought. Growing up taking up all the space in his bed, Minho had fully convinced himself that sleeping with someone, anyone, in such a close distance just wouldn’t be his cup of tea.
You eventually made your peace with that, with a little bit of disbelief and disappointment, and you never tried to push him to hug you at night.
Yet somehow, somehow, as Minho laid next to your sleeping figure, he found himself having a sudden change of mind on this peculiar night.
Your body was pressed up against the soft body pillow. Your legs clipped the pillow between your thighs, your arms wrapped around the waist of the cloudy material, your head buried in the cotton surface as you lightly snored the night away.
And Minho couldn’t believe—in himself—that this piece of object was getting more cuddly element out of you than he ever had. You have never thrown your legs around him like that nor have you ever wrapped him in such a needy grip before—why exactly is he feeling contempt for an inanimate object?
It wasn’t like he was extra needy or extra stressed lately, he was fine. There was no reason for him to be so stupidly jealous over a body pillow as it sucks up all your sleepy attention, leaving him with nothing but a frowny face and extreme curiosity to how it feels to hug something when you sleep.
You slept so soundly, it must feel very nice.
He jutted his bottom lip out in a scoff, trying to turn away from the sight of you and your pillow boyfriend to head to sleep, but his mind seemed to linger on the fact that it could be him. The body pillow could be him, he could be the body pillow, he could be your body pillow.
Huffing out a sigh, Minho turned around to look at you. Slowly (very very slowly) and carefully, he grabbed the top of your pillow and, with his eyes squinted in utmost concentration, he slid the pillow out from your arms. He finally let himself breathe when you were rid of the pillow and your arms went slack against the mattress.
Minho childishly flashed the material a glare and discarded it on the floor. Then, he scooted over to you, still going as slow as ever, and he shifted an arm under your torso before pulling you into him, bringing your head on his chest.
He tensed up when you hummed, stirring in your sleep as you habitually threw one leg over his and placed your arms around him as much as you could, completely trapping him with you. You relaxed against Minho’s body then, and that was when he finally let himself exhale fully.
Minho’s heart skipped a beat nervously as he stared at the ceiling, his once alert eyes now gradually getting lazier and lazier. The gray clouds in his eyes were shifting, turning into shades of warm white as they hovered before his eyes like soft lenses.
He was breaking down the walls of his emotions, leaving only all that he felt for you as you breathed softly on his chest, feeling as peaceful and delicate as ever. It was always so easy for you to make him feel at home, like himself.
His arm was around your shoulder loosely, keeping you with him as he let his mind trace along his feelings for you freely. And whenever a strong sense struck him like lightning, he could just lean down a little to press a chaste, loving kiss to your hair, your forehead, your eyes.
He glanced down at your groggy expression, trying so hard on suppressing the rounding of his eyes. He could feel the adoration for you physically being pumped out of his heart as you sat up a little, your hand gently gliding and pressing on his chest for support as you looked around the bed. He felt the need to keep all the sparkling substances in his chest safely or else he would probably run out.
(But it wasn’t like he couldn’t just produce more love for you anyway. He’s been doing that on a daily after all.)
“Didi I… did I snuggle up to you?” You asked weirdly, unable to fathom how you two had ended up this close all of sudden.
Minho pursed his lips together, putting up a cool front, “Yeah.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” you rubbed your head with a small pout, “I’ll just find my body pillow and–what… how did it get to your side of the floor?”
His eyes widened when he saw that you were heading off the bed to grab your pillow. With a tug at your pajama, Minho found himself stuttering shyly after you turned around to give him a questioning look.
“What is it?”
“Uh… I… um… you see, I know I said I don’t like hugging people when I sleep but I,” he sucked in an embarrassed breath, being so thankful for the dim atmosphere in the room. “I guess I can try it? I mean, well, I did just tried it because you were just cuddling me and you know, it is so funny because I kind of really liked it.”
You raised your brows at him, amused. Sitting back down on the bed, you turned to face him fully, “What do you want, Minho? Just tell me.”
Minho let out a short noise from the back of his throat. He fidgeted with his fingers before placing his palm over your hand, yearningly pulling at it, “Can we stay like that for tonight?”
You let out a giggle after a short pause. moving over to him again. Cupping his face to press a soft kiss to his lips, you laid him back down on the bed so you could comfortably fit yourself against him. Minho sighed once you two returned to the previous position, feeling his heart instantly relax.
The room was quiet, he could hear the cars outside singing in a weird pattern as they drove across the roads. You were holding him tightly, calmingly luring him to a deep slumber.
And Minho realized for the first time, he loves this.
i would give my life up for chan but he wouldn’t allow it lbr
enough about me.
let’s set the scene
you: on your way to the dorm
chan: in love, (in the dorm)
woojin, changbin, minho, jeongin: jyp practice room
00 line: ,,,,,,,,,,, ,, , , , ,,, , let’s not
LIke i said, you’re on your way to the skz dorm
and chan is in the dorm waiting for you
he’s more excited than usually for some reason he’s not sure of himself
maybe because it’s been a while since he last saw you?
maybe because he knows you’ve gotten a haircut (bro,,,, if u don’t have hair,,,, sorry) and he hasn’t seen it yet
maybe because for the first time in a while it’s only gonna be the two of you in the dorm
(none of that lnfhfsjds)
chan isn’t sure. all he knows is that he’s gonna see you in less than 10 minutes and he loves you
so when he finally hears a small knock on the door he sprints to the front door
okay but we need to talk about how much knocking on doors hurt????? like are we all just ignoring that it hurts like hell to knock???????? why does nobody talk about it????? especially when it’s a glass door???????
chan let’s out a sigh when he sees you, and gives you the second biggest smile you’ve ever seen
(the first was when you said yes when he asked if he could be ur bf)
he moved aside so you could walk in.
you took ur shoes off and open your arms for a hug
chan smiles so big and gives you one of the best hugs you’ve ever had
“i missed you” he mumbled against ur shoulder
“i missed you too” you giggled (and chan felt his heart beat faster)
he hugged u a bit tighter before pulling away and cupping your cheeks (SCREECH)
god, you were stunning
chans heart started beating faster as he kept looking at you
u grew shy under his gaze
he was just looking at you with so much love you felt your heart explode
“i really missed you. your new hair suits you”
you giggled again and leaned into his right hand
when i tell you chan melted
(chans heart when you leaned into his hand: JAJSJAJSSJSJZJAJBSISNWKSNSOSBSKWJSOSNWKSNALSBSKSJAKASJAHSDJAHAJJDKSNSJSHSSKMSKWNDJSNSKSNAOSNEKWHWLSBABSKSHAKSHAJSDNSKSNHAKABSKA)
your voice was so soft
hey reader? yeah uh, chan would like his heart back
you normally you aren’t as affectionate as this
u usually respond with some kind of sarcasm
but idk man there’s just something in the air
chan kisses your nose (FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFSAFHFJHA) and leads you to the couch and puts on a movie
and then u CUDDLE
chan gives great cuddles
u watch a couple of movie, pausing them from time to time (bc u can’t concentrate on something for that long OwO)
it’s getting late and the boys slowly came home
(the 00 liners were covered in mud, feathers and glitter, but ,,,, u didn’t ask)
throughout the day chan said ‘i love you’ like 5756369456drdtr4664dreaa4 times
like i said normally you would say something sarcastic in response,,,, but not today
today u just said you love him too or u cuddled into him.
(making him go: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSAKHGBDKJHGDSAKJHDHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
can we get an f in the chat for chans heart
there was a permanent blush on his face for like the whole evening
he was so thankful it was dark or else you would’ve teased him to no end
as it got later and later the ‘’effect’’ that caused you to be loving wore off and u were back to the sarcasm
so when chan said
“i love you”
“sir, this is a mcdonald’s drive through”
you just laughed at his misery and squished his cheeks
because you KNOW what you squishing his cheeks does to him
‘’awe is my baby blushing?’’ u teased, like the asshole u are
(chan, visibly red and flustered) ‘’wha- n-no i’m not’’
u giggled and kissed his nose (im in tears imagine kissing chan on the nose,,,,just a little ᵐʷᵃʰ)
chan is lowkey scared his heart is gonna beat out of his chest when u kissed him on the nose
god, he is so fucking in love with you
what’re you doing to him
this isn’t fair
ur hands are cuping his cheeks and chan feels so loved just by the way ur looking at him
‘’i really really really love you, y/n’’
u were gonna say something sarcastic but when u saw the look in his eyes u decided not to
day 1 of kinktober: marking/biting - hwang hyunjin
warnings: thigh marking/biting, oral sex f, fingering, cum eating, dirty talk, use of ‘kitten’ as a pet name
genre/rating: pwp, smut, 18+
You can’t sleep.
Not because you aren’t tired or able to – you would be asleep right now if not for your boyfriend, who keeps tossing and turning in bed without cease, and that’s the reason why you’re currently glaring at the ceiling as though it’s offended you in some way. Hyunjin seems oblivious to your predicament; he shifts under the sheets, tugging the blanket off your body, and heaves a deep sigh when he still can’t get comfortable.
“Babe,” you call out at last, finally fed up with his incessant movements after what feels like three hours (it was probably only three minutes realistically, but the details aren’t important). Hyunjin whips towards you. Through the darkness, you catch the way his pale long hair shifts to fall over his face. You reach out and brush the loose strands out of the way, unable to hold back the soft smile that creeps onto your lips. He catches your hand in his. Lips dance over your fingertips, and you press your fingers further against his mouth, engrossed in the warmth he provides.
“What’s up?” He asks after kissing your fingers several times. You exhale a laugh through your nose.
“That’s what I was going to ask you. You’ve been tossing and turning for what feels like hours. You good?”
Even in the shadows, you can make out the bright blush that speeds up Hyunjin’s neck and cheeks.
“Y-Yeah, just woke up from a dream and can’t fall back asleep.”
“Was it a nightmare?” You inquire, reaching out to brush your hand over Hyunjin’s flushed cheek. Your thumb drags over his warm skin. He quickly shakes his head in response then presses his lips to the palm of your hand.
“A good dream. A really really good dream.” You don’t need to ask what he means by that, because he shifts closer to you, and as he moves, his crotch brushes against your thigh. The prominent imprint of his erection prods your skin, and you nearly huff a laugh out. Of course, he’d wake up from a sex dream and not be able to fall asleep. “Can I… can I show you what happened in it?”
You’re exhausted to the point of nearly falling asleep as Hyunjin talks to you, but there’s no way you’re going to turn down this offer.
“I’m tired,” you whine only to give him a hard time. Hyunjin puffs his cheeks full of air.
“You get to just sit back and let me take care of you, I promise.”
Pursing your lips slightly, you give him a hesitant nod, but both of you know that you weren’t going to deny him in the first place. Hyunjin pushes himself up, large hands coming to rest on your waist, and you let him gently move you onto your back. A soft sigh slips past your lips. He eases you back further, then his hands work a path down your waist and hips, tugging the band of your underwear down without any hesitation.
“Hyunjin…” you exhale when his lips touch the inside of your thigh. He knows how sensitive you are there, the immediate arousal that courses through you at the slightest touch of his lips, and how goosebumps rise across your skin when he grazes over the flesh with his teeth. You nearly clench your thighs around his head when his teeth sink into your skin. “Jinnie.”
Hyunjin bites down a bit harder on the supple skin of your thigh.
“Do you wanna know what I dreamt of, kitten? Or do you just want to let me show you?” Hyunjin purrs the questions against your skin, hot breath ghosting over you and causes goosebumps to rise.
“Tell me,” you whisper to the darkness above you. “I want to hear you say it.” Hyunjin hums. The vibrations ripple through you just as his teeth draw the supple flesh of your thigh into his mouth. He sucks gently, hard enough to cause a dark mark to blossom over your skin, then pulls off with a wet pop.
“You were underneath me,” he exhales over the spot he marked. “Just like this.” Another kiss, a swift brush of his lips against you. “My fingers pressing into your thighs.” He pauses to suck another mark into your skin before speaking again, “Tongue deep into your pretty little pussy, fucking into you.” A kiss, then the drag of his tongue over your slightly sweaty skin. “Leaving mark–” Hyunjin presses a soft peck to the juncture between your thigh and core “–after mark–” and nips the skin there lightly “–after mark.”
“And?” You inquire, a slight breathiness to your tone. Hyunjin laughs against your crotch, and the heat of his breath dances over your clit. You shiver at the sensation. His tongue darts out again to flick through your folds, collecting the threads of arousal there and bringing them between his lips. Your thighs twitch as you watch him, the heady gleam in his eyes hitting you square in the chest.
“So needy. Be patient, kitten. Or I won’t give you anything.” Hyunjin leans over the thigh he hasn’t touched yet, lips caressing the skin with the slick of your arousal. He snags your thigh between his teeth again and lets his teeth just sit there for several moments until the imprint of his bite lingers on your skin. “God, you’re so pretty with my marks all over you. I want to cover every inch of skin on your body with marks now.”
You hum at his words, head falling back against the pillow and eyes falling shut. He takes your lack of verbal response as a sign to continue, so he does. Hyunjin draws closer to your folds again, and when he drags his tongue over your core this time, he slows down. The pace is almost torturous – wet muscle twitching and pulsing against your clit as he lavishes your sopping cunt – and he even goes so far as to flick the tip of his tongue over your sensitive bud. His fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs as he pushes his face further against your folds. The way Hyunjin’s tongue works is nearly greedy in its hunger and lust, and you grip the sheets to brace yourself for the overwhelming sensation of his tongue breaching your entrance.
“Hy… Hyunjin,” you whine as he barely pushes into you. Long finger trail their way up your thigh until they reach your folds and tease your pulsing hole. “D-Don’t be mean.”
“Mean? Darling, you haven’t seen the half of it. I could sit here and edge you for hours. Tease you over and over again. Bring you to the brink of an orgasm, then tear it away from you in an instant. Is that what you want?”
“No,” you exhale swiftly. “No, no, no. Please.”
“There’s my good little kitten. So obedient for me.” Hyunjin tilts his head to the side, lips drawing over the skin under your hip, then he sucks the flesh between his plump lips to leave another dark bruise there. You try to whine at the lack of attention on your clit, but he cuts you off before you have the chance. Those long fingers push into your tight hole without warning, two filling you up in an instant, and your complaints dissolve into a loud moan of pleasure instead. Hyunjin hums against your hip. “My pretty little baby. So loud as I fuck her needy little cunt. And this is only with my fingers? Tsk tsk, baby. Are you that desperate?”
“Sto… Stop teasing,” you beg, hips bucking up against Hyunjin’s face.
“I don’t think I will, kitten.” Hyunjin’s long fingers curl deep in you. The sensation has you seeing stars as he pulls the pads of those same fingers over your sweet spot. “Because I don’t think you truly want me to.”
He’s not wrong, but you refuse to give him the pleasure of admitting it aloud. Instead, you push your hips forward again in attempts to fuck yourself on his fingers. Hyunjin clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, pulling his lips off another dark spot near the inside of your thigh.
“That didn’t answer my question, darling.”
“You – you didn’t ask a question,” you whisper, unable to lift your voice any higher thanks to the way Hyunjin’s fingers are twisting inside you.
“Do you want me to stop teasing?” Hyunjin cocks his head to the side. His eyes glint in the darkness, and you can barely catch the way the moonlight hits the white of his eyes and flashes lust in his blown-out pupils.
“I want you to fuck me.”
“And I want a million dollars. Such a shame we can’t all have what we want.” Hyunjin flicks a loose strand of hair back, teasing you with a single arched brow. You bite back the urge to kick him in the shoulder, and frankly, he’s lucky that you’re enjoying the touch of his fingers so much because otherwise, you would most certainly have kicked him away by now. He must sense your apprehensions because he curls his fingers hard in you. “Now, do you want me to stop teasing?”
“No,” you admit, voice barely above a whisper. Hyunjin hums at your confirmation before letting his chin dip back towards your folds. He pushes them apart with ease, tongue prodding at the place where his fingers meet your body twice before he brings the skilled muscle up to flick over your clit.
“Then cum for me first, love,” Hyunjin commands as a small hum slips past his lips and reverberates against your clit. It’s all the permission you need to fall apart under his touch, thighs trembling and quaking as the power of your orgasm crashes over you. You can’t see anything beyond the haze of white that fills your vision, and Hyunjin’s fingers massage your g-spot through the entirety of your high. It’s a beautiful bliss that he sends you into, but one that is over far too soon for your liking.
You heave deep breaths, chest working up and down with the effort of gasping air into your lungs. Hyunjin wiggles his fingers a little bit deeper. A low chuckle slips past his lips.
“Now, about you wanting to be fucked…”
a/n: hello and welcome to kinktober i hope y’all are ready for this ride 😗
you loved his eyes, the eyes that held so much depth and feeling.
you loved his hands, the hands that held pens and pencils to create art.
you loved his brain, the brain that thought of words to create sentences, sentences to make songs that tore you limb from limb, then put you together again.
you loved his heart, the heart that carried his deepest emotions, the heart that didn’t wear on his sleeve.
the heart that was filled with you.
or so you thought.
changbin’s biggest flaw was that he cared so, so much about what other people think.
and he believed that being bad and being wild would make people think highly of him.
he started acting like this during your freshman year of high school, and he kept this attitude all the way to senior year.
you transferred to changbin’s school as a junior; wide-eyed with a perfectly ironed uniform.
sitting in the back of his 3rd period history class, changbin thought he fell in love.
it took him six months to get you to agree to go on a date with him.
you had heard that the short boy with the ink-covered hands was nothing but trouble, so you avoided him.
you heard that the hated “goody-two-shoes” and liked to harass them.
you didn’t want to be harassed.
there was nothing wrong with being a good kid! you liked getting good grades and studying and staying out of trouble.
the first date was amazing. nerve-wracking, but amazing.
he took you to a bookstore, saying something along the lines of “you’re a good student, i figured you liked books.” with an embarrassed blush on his cheeks before asking if that was okay.
you had only giggled nervously and told him that it was okay.
you two looked at books for a while; you showed him your favorites and told him that he should read them.
he bought all of them and has yet to read them. they sit in the same plastic bag they were in when he bought them a year and a half ago.
there was a yogurt place right next door. changbin got yogurt all over his hands. it was cute.
that first date turned into many, and the weeks turned into years.
you loved seo changbin with every inch of your being.
he was your moon; the bright, haunting light to lead you through your darkest nights.
and you were his sun; a shining star that gave him hope and warmth.
your relationship with changbin was … complicated.
in private, he was the most loving, sweetest boy ever. you couldn’t pry him off of you if the sky was falling.
he whispered burning words against your skin, punctuating every expression of love with a kiss.
most of your dates were in the privacy of your home.
not his though. he lived with his friends and...he didn’t want them to see you.
in public, you didn’t exist to him.
he would kiss you in the car before going someone public and then leave you alone, pretending that the touch of your lips didn’t give him a high he could never reach.
and this was why things were complicated.
every time you would ask him why you couldn’t be together in public, he blew you off, choosing to bury his face in your neck and tell you about a new song he was working on.
you just wanted...more.
you wanted to tell people that changbin was yours, and that you were his.
you wanted to be able to hold his hand, and take him places and show him things you know would inspire him.
but you couldn’t. not when he pretended you didn’t exist.
and you were sick of it.
it was a rainy tuesday when you decided that enough was enough.
changbin was talking to his friends, chan and jisung.
they probably didn’t even know who you were.
you stomped up to your boyfriend, taking his hand in yours.
“changbin, baby, we still have a date after school, right?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
he pulled his hand away, plastering on a disgusted expression, “what the hell? who even are you, dude?”
you clicked your tongue, “changbin. i’m tired of pretending. it’s been a year, why can’t you just tell people?”
changbin was nervous. would people’s opinions on him change if they found out he was dating someone? or even, that he was in love? he couldn’t have that. he spent four years building this reputation.
he pulled you away from his friends, who wore confused expressions as they watched you two walk away.
“no, changbin. you can’t keep pretending i don’t exist. i love you, for fuck’s sake! don’t...don’t you love me?”
“y/n, of course i love you. you’re my sun, okay? i just...you don’t understand-”
“then help me understand!” you clutched his hands, shaking them as you spoke, “i love you binnie. don’t you want people to know that i love you?”
his face hardened. his reputation wouldn’t be ruined.
“no. i don’t want people to know. i’m seo changbin, the coolest guy in this damn school. i need...i need to be available. i need people to like me. y/n, i hope you understand. i can’t be unavailable.”
“then be available.”
your voice shook as you spoke, unable to keep the knot in your throat down, “then be available. changbin, if you’re going to pretend that this doesn’t exist...then this shouldn’t exist for real.”
your mind was screaming at him to fight for you.
he told you that he loved you countless times, and had showed that he did. was he just going to let you go like this?
“okay. if that’s what you want, i guess.”
and he walked away.
it was a rainy tuesday when changbin learned that breakups are hard.
school had ended, and he was sitting in his car in the parking lot, his head in his hands.
you were supposed to be in his passenger seat, smiling and lacing your fingers with him and telling him how you aced that math test you had today because you had studied all night.
he wanted to hear you ramble about formulas that he didn’t understand because he loved hearing the lilt in your voice when you were sure of what you were talking about.
he wanted to feel your thumb brush over his knuckles while he drove, a habit you had picked up after a few months of being together.
he wanted to see you watching him out of the corner of his eye. you always watched him while he drove. he always kept his eyes on the road while you were in the car because, “people always drive safer when important things are in their car.”
god, he felt like a fucking idiot.
he had thrown everything away.
he had thrown you away.
and for what? the sake of his reputation?
he was so convinced that coming out with you would be the end of the world. that everyone would just see him as some whipped fool, not the guy he had told them he was.
you were the only one who knew the real him.
the only one who saw him cry, and the only one who got to hear his songs.
but now, anyone who walked past his car in the storm got to see him crying.
the following two weeks were torture.
you threw yourself into your studies, writing and rewriting notes to fill the empty space.
changbin threw himself into trouble, constantly getting into fights and getting wasted.
seeing him at school was horrible.
the dark circles under his sunken eyes didn’t stop him from hitting on anything with legs, and you couldn’t decided if you were sad at his state or mad at his actions.
both. probably both.
usually you were excited for winter break, but this time you were extremely excited.
two weeks of sitting inside and avoiding seeing your ex or going to any place that reminded you of him? perfect.
two nights before christmas, you got a call.
“hi, my sun.”
you sucked in a breath, clenching your fist so hard you thought you would cut yourself.
“what do you want, changbin?”
“c...can you pick me up? i uh...i got my ass kicked by this guy...i think his name is jaebum? that’s not the point. the point is i got my ass kicked at a party. and i tried to walk home but...i walked by the bookstore and-” he hiccuped.
he was crying.
“-and i’m sitting outside and i thought about you and...y/n i love you so fucking much, you know that? i’m pretty sure you’re my soulmate. and i just let you go like the idiot i am. you probably hate me now, yeah? oh, shit it’s cold. can you pick me up? did i already ask that? whatever.”
“changbin are you drunk?” your voice was so, so quiet.
“very. chan took me to this party to hook me up with someone. but they kinda looked like you so i had to leave. then i got my ass kicked. and now i’m here.”
“i’m on my way.” you hung up the phone. your parents would kill you if you knew where you were going, so you left the house as quickly as possible.
changbin was sitting on a bench outside the bookstore, his knees pulled up to his chest as he cried. he had his phone pulled out next to him, swiping through a folder dedicated to pictures of you. a sad smile graced his face as he looked down at the old pictures. he was such an idiot. and you probably hated him. and you were going to take him home and tell him to never talk to you again. and he would miss you for the rest of his life.
“please delete that, i look so ugly there.”
“you could never look ugly. you’re so incredibly gorgeous, i’ve written songs about it. wait-” he looked up, and there you were, in all your christmas pajama glory.
you smiled down at him, bringing a hand up to wipe the tears from under his eye, “don’t cry, my moon.”
you offered him your hand, and he took it, letting you drag him back to your car.
the drive home was silent, the only sound coming from the radio.
you took him back to your house. changbin was sort of a baby when he was drunk, so you felt like you had to take care of him.
“oh, i’m home.”
“this is my house.”
“you’re here. this is home.”
“and you’re beautiful.”
“is that? from a movie?”
changbin shrugged, walking up the steps to the front door.
oh right, you forgot he had a key.
he let himself in, not bothering to even take his shoes off before collapsing on the couch.
you sighed, shutting the door and locking it.
“c’mere…” he called out.
you sat down on the couch next to his crumpled form, “i’m not cuddling with you, changbin. we’re not dating, remember?”
he winced, “but you...you called me your moon.”
“because you are. doesn’t mean we’re back together. you’re drunk, go to sleep. we can talk tomorrow.”
you stood up, ready to head back to your room. but he grabbed your wrist, pulling you into him.
“i don’t want to talk tomorrow. i want to talk now. i love you, and you love me too, right? so we...we should be together again.”
“you know why we broke up changbin. it had nothing to do with love-”
“i will climb on your roof right now and scream to the whole neighborhood that you are my sun and that i am stupidly in love with you and that i would do anything you asked me to do because yes, i am whipped and yes, i just want to see you smile. is that good? would that fix things?” he had you pressed against his chest where you could feel his heart pounding.
“we can talk about you screaming from the rooftops when you’re sober, okay baby?” you pulled away from him, pushing his chest so he was laying down.
“but- are we gonna be okay?” you could see the desperation in his eyes.
he needed you.
and he was ready to show the world that he needed you.
description: hyunjin confesses his love for you (or not quite) after he decided it would be fun to pin you to the lockers in the boy’s changing room.
word count: 1.5k +
author’s note: don’t mind me, just my 189535th fail attempt at writing a bad boy au coming through.
Leaning his weight against you, fanning against the nape of your neck was Hyunjin's hot breath and his quiet words spoken with gentle seduction. A new kind of tension—something rigid yet so alluring—wafted through the air in the corner of the empty boy's changing room located near the school gym, where Hyunjin had you pinned to the back of the row of lockers.
You were only here on his order to get him a bottle of water after his soccer practice, having suddenly received a text from him a full hour after school ended. Thank god you were still in the library studying, or else you would have to leave your house and journey all the way back to school just to get him a bottle of water.
You would have to do it, though, everything he asks you to do, you have to do it. Since you owe Hyunjin a huge favor for helping you sneak out of school so you could go find your mother in the hospital. You still couldn't believe how your fate simply brought you together with the school's resident bad boy, but Hyunjin's husky voice against your ear and his lips whispering down your jaw in loving trails were very much real and physical.
"I thought you just wanted the water..." You said breathlessly, facing the dark-colored lockers on the other side with wide, shy eyes. When Hyunjin teasingly pressed his front teeth against your collarbone, you felt your breath hitch and your hands instinctively flew up to grip the skin of his arms exposed by the rolled-up sleeves of his school shirt.
He chuckled lowly, raising the white flag that had been permanently etched on your tongue, the white flag that signified your surrender to Hwang Hyunjin—to his voice, to his eyes, to his lips, to his touch, to his everything.
Swiping the tip of his tongue against the spot his teeth had possessively grazed across, he leaned his nose against your skin to inhale your scent that was the stark contrast to the filthy sweat on the grass field, or the drunken smoke sprayed around every corner of his chilling home, and he willingly melted against your being.
"I did ask for a bottle of water but I never said that is the only thing I want," he said, his voice sending chills down your spine when his words hit the nape of your neck like a gentle breeze in the fall weather.
Your hands on his arms relaxed slightly but with the close proximity he had closed between the two of you, you were sure you needed him as a leverage to hold yourself up and to will your knees not to crumble before the sight of him and everything he has been doing to you, both physically and mentally.
(Yet, strangely, every single time Hyunjin pressed himself against you and pushed your sanity over the edge, you let him. The white flag stood up every single time and your heart lets him do anything as he pleased.)
"Wh–what else do you want?" You asked innocently, your voice breaking the smallest amount. It raised his protective instinct, his tender possessiveness, both kicking Hyunjin's heart further down the rabbit hole that is falling in love, so so hardly in love, with you.
His finger dug into the shape of your hip as his lips once again began its journey of exploring the sweet skin just below your head, in a slow and savoring way, like he was carefully drawing a map and marking down every part he loved about you.
(It was every part. He loved every single part of you.)
"You know what I want, (Name)," he said, his hands trailing up to your waist and they stopped there.
The warmth of his lips echoed on your hot skin when he pulled away to speak, and for a moment you denied the realization that you needed his touch far more than you let on, far more than you convince yourself, far more than Hyunjin knows.
You hummed gently, imagining just the shortest intro where his slender fingers danced against the soft surface of your thighs, and you let out a long shaky breath because god, why would it ever be you? Why would he ever choose your dull, studious, innocent self?
"I don't think I have what it takes to offer you what you want, Hyunjin," you muttered honestly, causing him to pause on the kissable trail on your neck.
Disbelief overwhelmed his senses upon your incredulous words. He pulled his lips away immediately, his arms tightening around your waist the way his chest tightened with defensiveness, "Don't you ever say that, (Name). You give me so much more than I have the right to ask for."
You laughed in amusement, "What are you saying, Hyunjin? I run stupid errands for you like getting you and your friends ramen for lunch and getting you water after soccer practice. The only way I am contributing to you is letting you stay your lazy ass on the chair."
Hyunjin frowned. You didn't get it.
"Hyunjin...? Oh my god, Hyunjin, what happened?" Your once calm voice turned into a panicking one when you finally noticed the heavy bruise covered by his parted brown hair, located right on the top side of his head. "Did you fall during practice?"
He tensed up at the mention of the bruise, remembering vividly what happened the night before when he tried to defend his mother from another disaster resulted from drunken cigarettes. But you seemed to hold on, tightly, when your hand shot up to brush away the soft hair and reveal the purple-blue stain on his skin.
His eyes were on yours when you frantically went ahead to check the rest of his face, brushing away locks of his hair and running your hands delicately down his face to look for anything remotely concerning. You didn't have the focus to notice his gaze, his exhausted gaze yet filled with fondness to the infinity.
He looked into your eyes and he found himself in there. Just him and nothing else.
So you tell him. You tell him how much you have been granting him and how exactly was he supposed to pull his feelings away from you.
"Hyunjin... are you okay?" You asked suddenly, grabbing his attention when his filthy name left your lips all filtered and beautiful and stunning. Your hand still touched his cheek as you spoke tenderly, like petals of flowers waving prettily in the wind. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but can you please tell me if you feel alright?"
Hyunjin leaned against your palm with his eyes closed in relaxation. You were such a safe space, a loving space, and the only space for him. He wasn't okay before but with you here, he is now, better than he ever was and he ever will be.
He didn't speak for a while and when he did, his words rolled out like velvet carpet, "I love you, (Name)."
You widened your eyes at him gently, unsure whether this was one of his teasing antics and afraid to have your feelings backfire on you as soon as you responded with the same amount of sentiment. You looked at his closed eyes, his gorgeous features shining with the dim light in the boy's changing room, and he looked pure. Utterly pure and loveable.
"Right. You do."
He hummed in confirmation, instead of opening his eyes he leaned forward to rest his forehead on your shoulder before bringing you down to the ground with him, you fumbling to keep him steady as he did so. Your back slid against the locker while he knelt before your figure and you could feel his heavy heart against your chest.
"I know you don't believe me... but I do, I do believe I am in love with you," he confessed tiredly. And then suddenly he was shifting position, turning on his side and making you hold your arms around his torso as he laid on top of you comfortably. "I do love you very much..."
He was repeating his words, slurring and muttering them out like they cost nothing more than a nickel, yet his words weighted more than an ancient penny's worth.
"Okay, Jinnie, I know," you held him tighter.
He nodded against your shoulder, nuzzling against you like a child, "Good... can I just ask... for your undivided attention right now. I just need that right now."
You giggled gently, leaning your cheek against the top of his head after planting a kiss to his forehead, pulling him closer than you had ever attempted. Your fingers went up to caress his hair, carefully giving him the love he won't have the chance to receive anywhere else but in your arms.
And for the first time, you realized how much you really give him, all the love and all the delicacy he probably wouldn't have gotten even if he pulled the moon down to Earth himself.
And perhaps you get it now, why Hwang Hyunjin loves you so much.
“I can’t.” I tried to say through the kiss, his lips kept pulling me in and I couldn’t stop myself from wanting more. So soft. His lips were so full and soft. His hand went behind my neck, pulling me even closer to him. I knew he didn’t want to stop this but I had to. I couldn’t let this go any further. “Hyun-” Another kiss cut me off again. Hyunjin grabbed my hip with his other hand and he guided us towards my bed without breaking the kiss. Fuck. I wanted this. I wanted him. But this just wasn’t right. He finally broke the kiss, pushing my body onto the bed. His chest slightly heaved up and down and I looked at his now red and glossy lips. I watched him as he started unbuttoning his shirt, our eyes never breaking away from each other. He quickly pulled off his shirt and revealed his tan and toned body. I bit my lip and squeezed my legs together, trying to make the indescribable feeling between them go down.
Hyunjin crawled back on top of me, forcing my legs open before laying in between them. He connected the lips that I missed so much even though we only parted them for a couple of seconds. His tongue brushed against my lip and I unconsciously opened my mouth up for him. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I let him dominate my tongue and he sucked on it before biting down on my lip. I moaned in his mouth when I felt him push himself against my heat. He continued kissing me, his hand roaming up towards my breast and giving it a squeeze. He kneaded and kept rutting himself against me and he kissed me and this only made me wanted him even more. He then pulled his lips away and started buttoning down my shirt with his hand. I watched him as he did so, not having the same confidence to stop him from doing all of this like before.
When he finally undid my uniform shirt, he opened it up so that my body was exposed to him. He let the shirt rest above my shoulders and started kissing on my neck. I let out a moan that I tried holding in, but it involuntary came out when he started to suck on my neck. I gasped and put my hand on his shoulder, trying to stop him from sucking too hardly. “Don’t mark me. Jisung will see it.” Is what I finally got out. Out of all things. I tried to tell him this but he scoffed and then only sucked harder onto my neck.
“I want him to see this.” Hyunjin whispered in my neck as he continued to mark me up. He then started kissing down my neck and kissed on my chest before kissing over the top of my breasts. He looked up at me with dark lustful eyes before reaching up and sliding off the straps of my bra. He then quickly pulled down my bra, exposing my breasts to him. I watched him as he licked his lips and he grabbed my breasts in his hands. He started kneading at them watching them as they moved in his hands. “Every night, I couldn’t help but think about how they would look in my hands.” He says before leaning down and placing his tongue on my right nipple. He swirled his tongue around a few times before sucking on it. He closed his eyes as he spent his time sucking on my nipple. I groaned and my back slightly arched at the new feeling he was giving me. He kept playing with my other breast in his right hand and I felt my hips swirling around slightly.
“Hyunjin.” I moaned his name softly and then he moved his mouth to my other nipple. The cold air now hitting the nipple that was now wet. His warm mouth on my other nipple and I felt him tug on it slightly with his teeth, causing me to run my fingers through his long silky hair. I shouldn’t be letting him do this to me. I shouldn’t be allowing him to make me feel this way. This was so wrong and we both knew it, but I couldn’t bring myself up to stop him. The thing is,￼ I didn’t want him to stop.
Hyunjin lifted his head up, a popping down coming from off of my nipple. “Please. Please say my name again.” He begged as his hand slid down my stomach and rested against my hip. He gripped at my hip, balling my skirt up into his fist. He sat up in between legs and looked down at me. He pushed my skirt up and I put my hands over his to stop him from completely exposing me.
“Hyunjin, wait.” I managed to get out. “We shouldn’t be doing this.” I said and covered my breasts with my hands. “Jisung is your best friend. He’s been friends with you longer than you’ve known me. He’s also my boyfriend. I-I love him and this is wrong.” I struggled getting out the last part. I watched as Hyunjin’s jaw clenched and he took my hands and pinned them beside my head. I looked up at him with fear. Not of him, but of what he was going to say next. We were friends. Really good friends￼. I was afraid that if we continued like this then there would be a possibility of him thinking that this could be a mistake later on. ￼I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to lose him either. The adrenaline kicked in and my chest started rising and falling a bit more quickly.
“Jisung is my best friend, and he’s your boyfriend. Those statements are true but do you really love him? I mean how can you when all he does is hurt you, y/n?” He looked into my eyes as he spoke. “He doesn’t respect you and you know that. He never considers your feelings and that’s obvious with all these girls he still talks to ￼on the low. You may be his main girl but that just means you aren’t the only one. He doesn’t treasure you like how you should be and it makes me sick to see how you just go along with it. You deserve better. I’ll treasure you. I’ll make you my only one.” He reaches his hand up and swiped his finger under my eye, catching a tear that I didn’t even notice that was falling. “I saw you first. I caught feelings for you first. I wanted you to be mine first, but you fell under that pathetic spell of his like all those other girls. I don’t care that you’re his right now. You were originally and always will be mine, y/n.” He says softly before placing his lips on mine again. My eyes fluttered closed but my heart was pounding against my chest.
Even though I had secretly always liked Hyunjin, he was Jisung’s best friend. I had fallen for him overtime because he was always there for me when Jisung screwed up or when I wasn’t feeling good enough. He’s always there to support me and make me feel better. My attraction towards him had only grown stronger. My sexual attraction as well. Late at night I thought about what it felt like for my boyfriend’s best friend’s hands felt like on my body. I tried to discard the thoughts but they kept coming up.
“Let me love you right, please.” I felt his breath agaisnt my lips and I looked up in his eyes. I felt lost in them every time I looked into them.
“Cheating on him is still wrong.” I say. Hyunjin scoffed at that. “Don’t you feel bad for your friend?”
“It’s the least he deserves for how he treats you. We both know that. I’m really tired of you crying over him. I want to be with you.” He says as his hand went down and stopped over my thigh. My breath hitched in my throat when I felt him grip and my skin. His soft and warm hand sliding up my leg made it hard for me to pull a sentence together in my head. All I could think about was me begging him to never stop. “But if you want me to stop, I’ll stop. I’ll understand.” He sighed and took his and off of my thigh. I shook my head and placed his hand back on my thigh, showing him how needy I was. I didn’t care at this point.
“No, Hyunjin. Please don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.” I said before pulling him down by his neck and pressing our lips together again. Hyunjin kissed my lips hungrily and I kissed him back just as passionately, not caring that the situation was still in the wrong. All I knew is that he was the right one and this was the right place.
“Then I won’t.” He said after breaking the kiss and pulled me up and pulled my shirt off me completely. He then took my bra and unhooked it with shakey fingers but manage to take it off. I laid back down, my upper body completely exposed to his brown eyes. He started taking off my skirt and slid them down my legs, tossing them somewhere along my room. “Fuck..” he sighed when I was only left in my underwear. He scooted down and spreader my legs out before he started placing kissing on them. “So beautiful.” He said, making me feel a little less self conscious about my body. “More beautiful than I imagined.” He said before leaning down on his stomach with his head in between my legs. He gave wet, sloppy kisses before looking up at my face. “Fuck, these legs, baby.” He kept kissing on my inner thigh, going even lower with each kiss.
I could feel myself dripping from wetness in my underwear because of how his lips felt on me. “Please, Hyunjin.” I begged softly. “Please touch me.”
“Touch you where, baby?” He asked teasingly, knowing damn well where I wanted to be touched. His hand slid up and down the opposite leg of where he had been kissing before sliding it to right on top of my heat. I sucked in a sharp breath, caught off guard. I looked down at him with pleading eyes. “Here?” He asked and looked up at me as he rubbed his middle finger up and down my covered slit.
“Oh god, yes. Please.” I exhaled and slowly closed my eyes. Hyunjin then placed a kiss on my covered heat before he continued to rub me through my panties.
“I can literally feel how wet you are. You’re soaking through these panties.” He chuckled softly. “It’s very clear of how much you want this. How much you need me.” He said as he hooked his fingers at the sides of my underwear. He then slowly slid them down and off me, the cold hair hitting my wet heat and he tossed the panties to the side. Hyunjin placed kisses around my heat, causing me to whine out.
“I need you, please.” I begged. He wasted no time and placed a kiss on my clit before licking up and down my slit repeatedly. I groaned out and took hold of my own breasts in my hands and gave them a squeeze. I pushed my hips up a bit so then he wrapped his arms around my thighs and held me down in place. His tongue slowly licked between my folds before swirling around my clit. He then started sucking harshly on my clit before licking a fat stripe agasint my folds to my clit again. I moaned out loudly, thankfully no one was home to hear me. I gripped at his hair as he used his tongue to penetrate me before he added his finger. He only rubbed his index finger around my folds, teasing me by barely slipping it in and out as he abused my clit with his tongue. “Fuck, oh my..” I breathed heavily and threw my head back. No one has ever eaten me out this good before. I wanted his long fingers in me so bad. He surprised me by slipping two fingers into my soaked pussy and I let out a yelp.
“So fucking wet.” He spoke and his breath fanned over my pussy as he pumped his fingers in and out of me at a steady pace. “You fucking hear that? That’s for me. Not him.” He said and I could hear his fingers coming in and out of me with this wet sound. “Look how easy it is to slip this in.” He said before adding a third finger. I moaned and arched my back at the feeling of his fingers stretching me out. He started pumping his fingers faster, even twisting them in me before adding his tongue to flicker against my clit.
“O-oh!” I moaned out and gripped his hair, and I tried pushing him away, the feeling becoming way too much for me to handle. “Shit, I don’t- I don’t think I can hold it.” I warned him, only for him to start pumping even faster. He lifted his head up to look at me, string of saliva connected from his lips my pussy and he licked his lips. He then crawled upwards, his fingers still fucking me and he leaned down and placed kisses on my jaw.
“I want you to come on fingers. Can you do that for me, baby?” He whispered in my ear seductively and I started to feel my high approaching. “You like the way daddy’s fingers feel inside you, don’t you? So prove it and come on them. Right now.” He whispered, egging me on in my ear before pulling his face away and hovering over me to look at my face. I put my hand on his shoulder and slid my hand down to his arm, gripping onto it while my other hand gripped the sheets and I felt my high shoot through my core. I arched my back and started moaning repeatedly when I felt that he continued to thrust his fingers into me. I tried catching my breath as he kissed down my neck and he finally slipped his fingers out of me. I put my hand behind his head and kisses him passionately, already reaching down to undo his belt with my other hand. I unbuckled it and took both hands and pushed him off me, him laying beside me now and I quickly straddled his hips.
I leaned down and attacked his lips once again, never getting used to the feeling of them as I ground my heat down on his crotch. He moaned in my mouth and I feel him reach behind me and grip my ass roughly. He smacked my ass with both hands and I whimpered in his mouth. I then sucked on his bottom lip a bit before letting go and sliding down his body. I went in between his legs and palmed him through his pants for a little while before actually sliding them down his legs. I pulled them off completely, leaving him only in his boxers. I could basically see the lining of his cock and I came to the conclusion that Hyunjin was really packed. I traced my finger down from the tip to the base of his cock. I then hooked my fingers on the sides and pulled them down slowly, only to have his cock spring out and slap against his stomach.
“You think you can handle it, y/n?” I looked back up with him to see that he had a small smirk on his pink lips. I took his thick length in my hand and started pumping him slowly. That smirk went away quickly and a hiss escaped from his lips. He sat up on his elbows and looked down at me.
“You’re really big.” I commented. “But I can handle it.” I said before leaning down and sucking on his head. I licked off the precum with my tongue that was there before slowly pulling my lips away.
“Fuck.” He breathed and I kissed down his cock with wet, open mouth kisses. I licked up his shaft before sucking on his head again, my hand pumping him as I did so. I then slowly pushed my head down, all the way so that the tip of his cock hit the back of my throat. I looked at him with teary eyes and I watched as he leaned his head back and moaned. I then started bobbing my head up and down, using my hands to palm the rest my mouth couldn’t fit. I moaned as I sucked on him, sending vibrations from my mouth and onto his dick. “So good.” He says and looks back down at me. “Your mouth feels so good.” He groaned and I felt him thrust up a bit and I choked slightly, but I could tell he was trying his best to control himself. I pulled my mouth off of his dick started pumping him fast.
“I want you to fuck my mouth. Will you, daddy?” I asked him and he looked at me with raised eyebrows. I leaned back down and sucked on his cock again, only to have him hold my head in place and he started thrusting up. His tip started abusing the back of my throat and the saliva from my mouth started getting messy all over his cock and lower abdomen.
“Oh fuck.” He groaned and continued to fuck my mouth. “You like how I’m fucking your mouth don’t you? You like me taking control.” He said through jagged breaths. I could tell he was close because he cock got even harder in my mouth and I could feel him twitching a bit. “Fuck y/n, I’m gonna come.” I tried sucking harder as he fucked my mouth. “Look at me.” He pleaded and I did so. He kept thrusting until I felt him shoot a warm liquid in my mouth. He groaned and let go of my head. I swallowed it all and licked up and down his shaft. He then pulled me up so that I was laying against his chest and I felt him pull my leg up by his side. I felt him align his tip with my entrance but he didn’t push in. He kept teasing me with it by sliding it up and down my entrance but never pushing in as he looked in my eyes. “I really want this, but are you sure about this?” He asked. He was making sure his best friend’s girlfriend wanted this as much as he did.
“I wanted this for so long, Hyunjin. You don’t even understand.” I confessed and pushed myself down a little to get more contact from him. His tip poked at my entrance but he wrapped his arm around my hips to stop me from moving. I leaned down and started kissing on his jawline. He then rolled us over so that he could hover over me. “I want you so bad. Please.” I looked up at him as I said that, and he connected our lips together once again. I felt him pushing himself in slowly, but not enough.
He then pulled away from my lips. “Then I’ll give it to you. I’ll fuck you better than Jisung ever did. I’ll show you who you belong to and you’ll never want to go back to him again.” He said just as he slowly pushed his thick cock into me. I moaned as he pushed all the way in, leaving his cock buried deep inside of me. “Shit baby, you’re so tight around me.” He grunted but stayed there, giving me the chance to get used to his size. I then started clenching around him and I moaned, wanting him to move. He took that and pulled all the way out before slamming back in. We both moaned out in pleasure and then he started thrusting at slow pace. He would suck on the skin that was above my collarbone and I didn’t stop him this time. I ran my fingers through his hair before he sat up and pushed my legs up. He kept his hands behind my knees and then started thrusting a bit faster. He kept watching where our bodies met where as I kept looking at his flushed face.
“So much tighter than I thought.” He mumbled with a grunt. I watched as the sweat from his forehead drip down from the side of his face. He looked so hot and I felt myself becoming even more wet as he kept slipping in and out of me. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that he even thought of me in these ways. I can’t believe I wasn’t alone in this. My boobs kept bouncing with every rough thrust so I held onto them and whined as he continued to fuck me.
“You make me feel so good.” I moaned in a high pitch tone and threw my head back. The sound of skin slapping and pants filled the room. I reached my hands up and slid them down his sweaty chest, stopping at his stomach. My fingers gliding at the lining of his abs.
“Yeah?” He teased before thrusting even harder into me. I screamed out, loving the rough action he was now giving me. “Better than who?” He said and slid his hands down to my hips. I bit my lip to hide my moans and gave him a pleading look. He gripped onto my hips tightly and pushed my down in place as he now pounded into my pussy. “Better than who?” He repeated, this time his tone more demanding.
“J-Jisung.” I finally admitted. “You fuck me way better than Jisung. Just- please don’t stop.” I begged him, a tear slipping out from the pleasure. He bit his own lip and he reached and gripped my face before sliding his thumb across my bottom lip. I looked up at him as I kissed his thumb before taking it into my mouth. He groaned and slid his now wet thumb down my chin and took my neck into his grasp. I placed my own hand over his and pressed his hand against my neck, insinuating that I wanted more pressure. He complied and applied more pressure and continued to fuck me. Suddenly the sound of my phone ringing beside my head caught us both off guard. “Ignore it.” I told Hyunjin, not bothering to look at who was calling me. Hyunjin looked beside my head but continued thrusting.
“Speak of the devil. It’s him.” Hyunjin said I knew exactly who he was talking about, causing my eyes to widen. ￼He grabbed my phone with one hand but kept his other hand on my neck. He scoffed and pulled his dick out of me entirely. I whimpered and the missing contact and reached for him to come back but all he did was flip me over so that I was now laying on my stomach. “Answer it.” He said.
I looked back at him like he was crazy. “What? No, I can’t.” I said but he ignored me and pulled me up so that I was on my knees. I propped myself on my elbows and watched him as he held his cock in one hand and my phone in the other. He then lined himself up with me again before he pushed himself inside of me once more.
“Fine. I’ll answer it for you.” He said before answering the call. He then tossed the phone up so that it was beside my face. He then started thrusting in me slowly, my eyes rolling back in pleasure. “It’s best for him to find out about this now anyways.”
“Y/n? Y/n?” I hear Jisung call my name on the phone. I then came back to reality and looked down at my phone.
“Put him on speaker.” Hyunjin whispered before smacking my ass. I whimpered but complied and put the phone on speaker with shaker fingers. “Talk to him.” He said.
“Jisung.” I managed to get out. Hyunjin then started moving a bit faster in and out of me and I couldn’t help but breathe a bit heavier than usual. He gripped at my ass and I bit my lip to stop myself from moaning. “What do you want?” I asked Jisung.
“I know you’re mad at me, okay? How many times do I have to tell you that I’m sorry? That girl meant nothing to me. You know how some girls be. What you saw isn’t what really happened.” He tried to explain but half of what he said when out my ear because I couldn’t concentrate.
“So I didn’t catch you making out with some girl behind the building during sixth period? Uh!” I covered my mouth because Hyunjin slammed into me. I moaned into my hand, trying my best to suppress the sounds coming out of my mouth. ￼
“She threw herself onto me! Babe, you know I ...... on you. Not again at least. That’s simply ridiculous. You know that I love you and I wouldn’t make a stupid mistake like that again.” He said as I gripped at the sheets. I could barely understand what he was saying since I couldn’t focus. “Can we just forget about all of this? I’ll come over later on. Let’s make up and... happened. Sounds good?”
Whatever he was saying sounded like the gist of what he would always say from the other times. Even if it was different story then I wouldn’t be able to tell. My mind kept spacing out and it was being filled with how good Hyunjin’s dick made me feel. Jisung’s voice would fade in and out to me but I tried keep focus. It just wasn’t working though.
“Don’t fall for that shit again. You have me.” Hyunjin says lowly, siding his hand up and down my back before another slap towards my ass.
“Well, you forgive me, don’t you?” Jisung’s voice spoke again since I still haven’t answered him.
“I can’t-” I tried saying but then Hyunjin the started pounding into me, no longer showing any mercy. “F-fuck! I can’t-” I couldn’t form a proper sentence as I felt myself becoming closer towards my high again. I couldn’t physically hold myself up anymore so I laid my face down in the sheets with only my ass ￼up in the air. It felt a lot deeper in this position and I knew I couldn’t last much longer. ￼
“You can’t forgive me? Why? Please don’t do this to me. You know I need you.” Jisung begged on the phone. “You need to think about our history and what we have.”
“I can’t think properly!” I finally spat out, causing Hyunjin to chuckle.
“Tell him why.” Hyunjin says before hovering over me and started to play with my clit. I started becoming a moaning mess and I’m sure Jisung could hear it all by now. “Tell him it’s because you’re too busy getting your brains fucked out right now.” He said as he continued to thrust into me.
“Oh- oh god. Jisung, I-” Another moan ripped through my throat. “Jisung.”
“Seriously, what the fuck is going on? Are you okay? Why do you sound like that?” He asked, clearly confused as to why I kept making those sounds.
“I can’t think properly because-” Hyunjin applies more pressure to my clit with his fingers. He kept rubbing it in small circles as he trusted. “Fuck- because I’m too busy getting my brains fucked out right now.” I mumbled lazily. I wasn’t even sure if Jisung heard what I said since I spoke through my teeth with jumbled words. “Oh god. It’s so fucking deep, daddy. Please don’t stop fucking me.” I cried out, not caring if Jisung heard me or not at this point.
“What the fuck? You’re fucking someone right now while I’m talking to you? How could you cheat on me?” Jisung yelled over the phone but I couldn’t care less and my brain was in a daze. He’s kissed, fucked, and did many other things to other girls behind my back and I forgave him every time. I even forgave him for the times where he didn’t even apologize. He couldn’t possibly get mad at me for having sex behind his back for once. “Where the fuck are you? Tell me right now. I’ll fucking kill him.” Jisung spat. “Answer me y/n. Where the fuck are you?”
I only heard Hyunjin from behind me but he never stopped pounding into me. “End things with him now and tell him how good I am at fucking you. Tell him I’m better than him and then you can come all over my cock.” He says and I shakily reached for my phone and pulled it closer to my face. I knew I was breathing really heavy into the phone but I just couldn’t help it.
“I’m sorry, Jisung! We- we can’t be together anymore. Hyunjin fucks me sooo fucking good. He fucks me so good.” I moaned out and I felt my high quickly approaching. “He’s better than you. He so good to me and- shit. Can I please come? Please?” I begged Hyunjin.
“H-Hyunjin?” Jisung sounded shocked.
“You took it so well. Come all over my dick, baby. You deserve it.” Hyunjin said loud enough for Jisung to hear this time. With that, I felt myself releasing onto him, groaning loudly as I let my high overtake my whole body. Hyunjin kept pounding into me and I pressed my face into the sheets, drool falling from my mouth and onto the bed. I tried catching my breath and he pulled out and started shooting his hot semen onto my ass. I hummed in satisfaction and I felt him crash on top of my body. Hyunjin kisses on my shoulder, and down my back with heavy breathing and I could feel the semen dripping down to the inner parts of my thighs. “It’s pretty clear he knows you’re mine now.” He said and laid next to me as he tried catching his own breath. I looked back at my phone and saw how Jisung had already hung up the phone.
“My relationship was went to shit so fuck that. But I just sabotaged your friendship. I shouldn’t have done this.” I covered my face with my hands as I let the realization sink in. They were best friends. I never wanted to be the reason why they would end their friendship.
“Hey, listen to me. He isn’t a horrible person to me but he just was never a good friend.” He said, pulling my hands away from my face. “And I hated the way he treated you. It went on for way too long. But please. Don’t tell me you regret this.” He looked into my eyes.
“I don’t. Not at all.” I said honestly and shook my head.
“Good, cause I don’t either.” He said and swiped his thumb over my lip. “I have feelings for you, y/n. I’m not gonna let the fact that he was my best friend stop us from being together. You’re mine, okay?”
“I’m yours.” I said and leaned over, pecking those beautiful lips of his. “But I’m sure he’s going to be looking for me now... You should go before he finds you here.” I told him but I really wanted him to stay.
“He knows I fucked you, and I’m not running away. How could he get mad at you when he does the same?” Hyunjin scoffed. “I want him to find us like this. I want him to find your fucked out body with my marks all over you.”
warnings: swearing, dirty talk, hot and heavy making-out, reader is a capital-B Brat, blood (chan’s got those gnarly-looking claw-marks on his back and chest), yes this was entirely inspired by that wolfgang performance
Then, he finally notices the first-aid kit in your hand, and he changes.
The corners of his lips turn up, twisting into a smirk. He raises his chin, one eyebrow arching at the sight of you. It’s a smug, quietly dangerous look from Chan that you’ve never seen before. One that sets your nerves on edge, has the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.
“Why?” Chan asks, and his hand drifts up to undo his top button. “Are you here to play nurse?”
There’s something wrong with Chan.
You notice immediately, trying to stay discreet as you watch through the window at the boys as they wander out of the forest, stretching limbs, ruffling dishevelled hair.
You’re still getting used to the whole werewolf thing.
It had only been a few months ago that you had returned from a semester abroad to find that your life-long best friend, Felix, had been bitten by some sketchy creep at a beach bonfire.
There’s no…lingering guilt about not being there. Or anything.
But Chan isn’t. That’s what you’re so focused on right now.
His expression is guarded, shoulders tense as he walks just a few steps behind the rest of the group. You watch Felix hang back a second, talking to him, saying something you can’t hear through the window. You see Chan shake his head, patting him on the shoulder, and when Felix says something else, he moves his hand to the back of Felix’s head, scratching it affectionately.
You know objectively that Chan taking in Felix was one of the best things to happen for him. From the little you’ve gleaned about werewolves, you know that packs work like a support network. A new family. It’s good for him.
It just…chafes a little that you’re not a part of it. It feels unfair that the only way to regain that position you once held in Felix’s life would be to get bitten too, suffer through the painful transition, disconnect from society, spend days and weeks and months of your life as a mindless animal ready to attack and maul any living thing in sight–
You catch it. Just barely.
You don’t think anyone else has noticed. You think you only caught it because Chan hasn’t noticed you looking.
Hasn’t noticed you.
You were surprised when Chan approached you a few weeks ago with a proposition. It was a simple enough request – staying at their cabin while the full moon happened, house-sitting while they spent the better part of three days doing their wolf stuff. You could catch up on your schoolwork, spend a few days alone to collect your thoughts.
It was nice. Quiet. Maybe a little lonely. But still nice.
You just didn’t see why you were needed. And Chan didn’t really do much to make you feel wanted either.
The other boys like you, you think. Felix obviously adores you, and the others joke around with you and share smiles and try to give you teasing little compliments when they think they can break you down, make you blush. It hasn’t worked so far, but it’s cute that they’re trying.
But Chan’s different. So warm to his boys, so committed to the role as pack leader – but there’s something off in the way he acts with you. Being a wolf, being a leader, is so intrinsic to his being and it’s all meaningless to you. He has no authority over you. He has nothing in common with you.
And he’s intimidating as fuck.
The first of the group finally make it to the door, filing in as they laugh raucously about some inside joke Felix might catch you up on later.
“Is there anything to eat?” Jisung asks, eyes alight.
You scowl. “Why are you asking me? You think I waited around all weekend, cooking you guys dinner?”
You had made it clear from day one that you weren’t going to be some house mother to these guys, some kind of Wendy to their Lost Boys. You had your own life, and you were doing them a favour just by agreeing to stay in such an isolated cabin, miles away from the rest of civilisation.
But as Jisung’s face slowly turns guilty, his gaze shifting to the floor as he is undoubtedly recalling this same conversation, you can’t help but sigh. “…I tried following Felix’s cookie recipe yesterday. There’s some left in the fridge.”
Jisung’s face lights up, and you try hard to keep your expression neutral when he leans in and kisses your cheek. “Cute.”
You shove him away, scowl firmly back in place. “Only the burned ones are left. Fucking help yourself, asshole.”
Jisung just laughs, already heading for the fridge.
Hyunjin, who had followed right behind him, gives you a smile as he takes a seat at the kitchen counter, attempting to tease out a stray twig knotted in his hair. “Thanks for staying.”
You shrug. “Eh. I got some quiet time. Managed to finish outlining my dissertation. It wasn’t the worst weekend, I guess.”
Seungmin is the next to wander through, and you notice the rips in his shirt, the way his right sleeve hangs off his arm in tatters. Felix has informed you of the perils of clothing as a werewolf, how easily things can rip and snag when you don’t quite have the transformation under control yet. It’s hard to undress when you’re literally in the middle of turning in to a big scary man-sized wolf, you suppose.
Jeongin’s shirt is open, every single button apparently a casualty of transforming, seams along his sleeves and sides burst. He passes you by with a sheepish grin, hair mussed, shoulders straightened out just a touch at the sight of you.
Felix throws his arms around you as soon as he walks through the door, shouting his greeting in your ear. He’s practically vibrating, still on the high of adrenaline from whatever wolfy things he did this weekend. Chased deer? Howled at the moon, maybe?
“-so cool, he just pounced on this bear, you wouldn’t believe it. Our Jeonginnie’s getting so strong!”
You close your eyes, burrowing your face in Felix’s shoulder for a second as he recounts the weekend’s escapades in breathless excitement.
Definitely lonely, you think. This weekend has definitely felt lonely.
When you open your eyes, you catch sight of a pair of thick black boots, marching past you. By the time you glance up, you only catch the barest glimpse of Chan’s back retreating from you as he heads up the stairs in silence.
“What’s up with Chan?” You ask, blinking.
“Huh?” Felix pulls away from you to turn, following your gaze to the now-empty staircase. “Uh, nothing much. He always gets kind of quiet after we transform back. It’s kind of intense, especially for him. He’ll be fine.”
You think back to that limp, the way Chan’s body had faltered when he thought no one was looking.
These boys are tough. You know that they’re strong, resilient and heal supernaturally fast. You’ve maybe seen them hurt once or twice, with bruises or scrapes that heal up in about an hour.
You have never seen Chan, the great and fearless pack leader, hurt – and you have definitely never seen him limping like that.
It piques your curiosity.
“Just give me a sec,” you murmur, squeezing Felix’s arm. You turn to the rest of the room, barely sparing a glance at the way Changbin opened the snack cupboard with so much force that he almost ripped the handle clean off. “You guys eat. Maybe wash up a little. I don’t wanna use the phrase ‘wet dog’ but–”
Minho flashes you a grin, and throws up one long, delicate middle finger in your direction.
You purse your lips, blowing him a kiss, before turning on your heel and heading up the stairs after Chan.
His room is at the very end of the hallway. You pass by the bathroom on the way to it, and in a moment of inspiration, you quickly stop there to grab the first-aid kit you kept stocked under the sink.
Chan’s bedroom door is, of course, firmly shut when you arrive. You knock, gently at first, at least making the attempt at politeness. When he doesn’t answer, you try again even harder.
You resort to pounding your fist against the door. “Chan?”
“…Not now,” finally came the response, the irritation in his tone clear even through the muffling of the wood.
“Not in the fucking mood.”
You blink at his terse response, before scoffing. Rude.
“Channie,” you sing-song, unable to resist winding him up just a little. “Channie, are you in there?”
“Leave me alone.”
You actually take a step back, staring in shock at the door.
You’ve only heard Chan use that voice on a handful of occasions before. Felix described it as Chan’s ‘alpha voice’ (even after you tried to explain to him that the concept of alpha wolves had already been disproven in science decades ago, “just ask David Mech–”) reserved only for the most serious of situations.
It was something only leaders had, a tone of voice that could bend the will of his pack members, force them to obey whatever he commanded.
Of course, with you not being a werewolf, that ‘alpha voice’ did jack-fucking-shit.
“Oh, scary. Chan’s all grumpy today,” you drawl, stepping forwards again. “I’m not leaving until you let me in, asshole. Now open the fucking door.”
There’s a pause. A long pause.
And then a sigh.
You’re already smirking when the lock turns, and the door slowly swings open to reveal Chan’s thunderous expression. “What do you want?”
“The pleasure of your company,” you retort, already trying to muscle your way in through the gap in the door.
Your shoulder makes contact with his side, shoving against it, and you jolt in shock when Chan reels back, wincing as his hands immediately flew to his ribs.
Something was wrong.
You shut the door behind you, expression softening as you take in the sight of him.
His white shirt is streaked with dirt and grass stains, possibly salvageable with a long hot wash, nothing out of the ordinary. There’s a bright sheen of sweat covering his skin, clinging to the hair at his temples. His jaw is clenched, his nose flaring as he tries to breathe deeply. His whole body is tensed up.
He’s in pain.
You falter, unsure exactly how to deal with this situation now that you had forced your way into it.
Chan makes a face, turning away from you as he straightens up, pulling his hands away from his side. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit. You’re hurt.”
“It’s nothing. Leave it.”
Chan closes his eyes, letting out another long sigh through his nose. “Has anyone ever told you how irritating you are?”
“Frequently. It’s one of my charms. What happened?”
His eyes open, and he fixes you with one long, appraising stare. “…You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“The boy catches on fast,” you comment. “What was it? Felix said something about a bear–”
Chan actually chuckles at that – well, you can almost call it a chuckle. A sharp exhale of air that sounds amused as Chan rolls his eyes. “No, it wasn’t the bear,” he says, like it’s obvious.
“So, what was it?”
He falls silent again.
You frown, eyes narrowing at his stubbornness.
Well, two can play at that game.
You turn away from him, wandering over to his neatly made bed and dropping your rear onto it with a graceless thud. You sit there on the edge, legs crossed. You raise an eyebrow, challenging him.
The message is clear – you’re not leaving until you get answers.
Chan’s expression is unreadable as he eyes your new position. “…Get off my bed.”
You smile, and lean back, planting your hands into the soft sheets behind you. “Maybe if you tell me what’s wrong.”
He just stares at you, eyes burning.
You decide to change tactics. Voice softening, you tilt your head as you look up at him. “This is…this is how I show concern. OK? I’m concerned.”
Your words draw out the slightest hint of softness in Chan’s eyes, and you know immediately. Got him.
He swallows, and with a final sigh, he shifts his weight from one foot to another. “Jeongin…he’s getting strong. Maybe too strong. I was trying to help him transform back, and he…caught me.”
Your eyebrows shoot up, your eyes widening in shock.
He quickly clarifies himself. “By accident, obviously.”
“And the others…haven’t noticed?”
Chan shrugs, then immediately hisses at the pain of it, tensing again for a few moments until he manages to regain his composure. “…They noticed. I just told them I was fine.”
“Of course you did.”
Chan has a talent in persuading people. He’s got this raw charisma about him, the kind that could make you believe anything he wanted if he gave you enough attention, said just the right things.
“How bad is it?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“That’s nice. How bad is it?”
Your tone is sharp, sickeningly sweet. There’s something in you that takes a grim kind of pleasure in condescending to Chan, that enjoys disrespecting him when so many of his pack members seems to worship the ground he walks on.
It’s also the precise way to really push his buttons – which, of course, is a big part of the fun.
Instantly, his expression hardens, and his eyes are back to that burning kind of fury as he glares across the room at you.
Then, he finally notices the first-aid kit in your hand, and he changes.
The corners of his lips turn up, twisting into a smirk. He raises his chin, one eyebrow arching at the sight of you. It’s a smug, quietly dangerous look from Chan that you’ve never seen before. One that sets your nerves on edge, has the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.
“Why?” Chan asks, and his hand drifts up to undo his top button. “Are you here to play nurse?”
His tone is mocking, pointed – a perfect reflection of your own.
His hand travels down to the second button.
He’s trying to intimidate you, scare you into submission, send you running out the door.
You grip the kit even tighter in your hand, and watch as he undoes that button too.
“Oh, no. Not skin, Channie,” you remark, voice just a touch too strained for your liking. “Anything but that.”
He ignores you, moving onto the third and then the fourth, shirt gaping open to reveal more and more of his torso as his hands travelled.
This is starting to venture into unfamiliar territory.
But you hold your ground regardless, watching as more and more of his body became exposed.
It’s…it’s a nice body. Lean. Defined. Chan clearly takes care of himself. Works out.
You’re unable to resist following the lines of an emerging six-pack, fading and sharpening with each of his breaths.
You swallow. “…Chan, if you’re just trying to show off–”
He slips the shirt off entirely, and your words catch in your throat.
He’s so broad. It’s one thing to see him under clothes, but it’s entirely different to see him stripped so bare, to see the meat of his shoulders and biceps, to see just how big he is.
And normally, your attention would be all over that.
But it’s not.
Because your gaze is caught on the marks on his chest, some still bleeding, some turned shiny and pink as Chan heals himself.
You rise up from the bed immediately, almost jumping to your feet, at the sight.
Chan pauses for just a fraction of a second at your sudden movement. “Wh–”
“Get on the bed,” you order him, no trace of humour in your tone. It is all business, all urgency.
Chan blinks at your words, mouth opening to respond.
“Now,” you snap, looking him over again. “They need to get cleaned out before they heal over, genius. Get on the bed.”
It takes a second for your words to sink in, and his expression shifts when he finally grasps what you’re trying to tell him.
And then, Chan makes the very smart decision to do what you say, brushing past you as he walks towards his own bed and slowly sits down with a wince. “…Go on, then.”
You nod, making your way back to the bed and climbing up onto the mattress, crawling around Chan to check out the damage to his back.
You’re faced with scores of angry claw-marks, cuts still oozing blood as they decorate his shoulders, his ribs, even the small of his back.
“What the fuck, Chan?” You hiss under your breath, fingers fumbling with the zip of the first-aid kit as you scramble to open it.
“Is it bad?” He asks, his voice so fucking casual.
You can’t even form a response, thoughts too tangled up in the state of his back. You dig for the antiseptic wipes, not exactly ideal for the situation but probably the best thing you had for cleaning these wounds.
“This is going to sting,” you warn, barely giving Chan time to brace himself before you press the wipe to the first of the cuts.
He grunts at the pain, teeth gritted as he tries to bite back any more sound. Of course he’s trying to tough this out.
You’re silent as you try to fix up the worst of his cuts, making do with what you have. The best thing would be to get him under running water – less of a chance of damaging the skin that way.
But considering you had enough of a time just convincing him to let you help him, you doubt you’d be able to persuade him to leave the safety of his bedroom and chance an encounter with his packmates on the way to the bathroom.
So, antiseptic wipes it is.
You finish off the back, applying appropriate dressing to the worst of the cuts. The muscles of his back still tense under your touch, twitching under your fingers. As your panic slowly eases with each treated wound, it’s getting harder and harder not to notice the way he’s built, the grooves and dips of each muscle.
You swallow at the sight. It’s a…it’s a strong back, you suppose.
Gently, very gently, you run your fingers across the planes of his back, paying close attention to the way it shifts underneath. “Any…like, muscle pain? Tightness? Aches?”
“…No. Honestly, it doesn’t even hurt much now. I’ll be fine in, like, an hour.”
You nod, moving your hand away. You’ve seen the effects of wolf healing first-hand. “OK. I’m…I’ll do your front now.”
Chan pauses, before shifting backwards by just a few inches. You shuffle on your knees to his side, watching as he finally settles, before turning his face to meet your gaze. He holds it, very carefully, before slowly leaning back, expression neutral.
Leaving more than enough room for you on his lap.
This feels like another test, you think to yourself, as you eye him with suspicion. Another power-play, meant to throw you off.
You think Chan doesn’t like it when he’s not in control. He’s not used to it.
“What?” Chan says, breaking you out of your trance. “You said you’d do my front. Don’t you need to hurry, before they close up?”
There’s a layer to his tone, the barest hint of challenge, and it has you straightening up in seconds, ready to face him head-on.
Fine. If he really thought he could break you like this, he had another thing coming.
With all the grace and self-assurance you could muster, you crawl back over to him, swinging one leg over him to plant both knees either side of his hips, straddling him without even batting an eye.
“Stay still,” you demand, gripping his shoulder with one hand as you shift your weight around, trying to get comfortable as you hover just a few inches above his lap.
Chan is silent, and somehow that’s even worse than when he was trying to provoke you earlier. You can feel his breath ghost against your ear, hear the tiniest little noises he made whenever you reached a new wound.
And fuck, his chest. His shoulders. His abs. Everything. Just…there’s a lot to take in. If you’re not careful, you’re going to get distracted.
Swallowing, you dab at one of the shallow cuts near his collarbone and finally speak up. “I guess I should say thanks for letting me stay here this weekend. I managed to get a shit-load of essay-reading done.”
Chan hums, and you feel the vibrations under your fingertips. “Good. Thanks for looking after the cabin while we were gone.”
“I still don’t think it was necessary,” you can’t help but add, trying to keep your tone light. “I didn’t really do much.”
“…Felix is always talking about wanting to spend more time with you,” Chan comments, and you pause at his words. “And you get on well with the others. You’re a good influence. Having you here seemed…like a smart idea at the time.”
“Seemed like? At the time?” You repeat, picking up on the subtle implications of his words. “Are you saying it wasn’t smart?”
“There are always risks,” Chan states, non-committal, eyes flickering to look at you. Naturally, your faces are incredibly close in this position – no more than a few inches apart. “Complications.”
“We always have to stay careful around you, especially around a full moon. You’re more fragile than we are.”
“That’s me,” you retort, sarcasm dripping from your every word. You bring your hand up to his chest to steady yourself as you move on to the next scratch. His skin is warm under your fingertips, smooth. “Delicate little flower that I am. Gotta handle me gently, or I’ll break.”
Chan hesitates before he answers, and when the words do come out, they’re very carefully spoken. “…I don’t know. Maybe you could take a little more.”
“No shit,” you say absently, finishing up the last of his cuts by his shoulder. All pretty superficial, guaranteed to heal in the next hour. “I’m tougher than I look, Channie. I can take a lot.”
Chan doesn’t respond, and when you glance up, you see that his eyes have fluttered shut. He’s taking slow, deep breaths – like he’s meditating, or about to fall asleep.
There’s the tiniest of scratches on his cheekbone.
Gently, very gently, you lift one hand to rest against his face – and his eyes snap open in panic to stare at you.
“You got a thing,” you manage to blurt out, pointing towards the scratch. “There. Just gonna…yeah, clean it. You don’t want something getting infected on your face.”
Honestly, a cut that small is probably not going to get infected – especially with how quickly Chan can heal.
You’re a completionist.
Chan stares at you, and for a brief moment, panic starts to take hold in your gut. Have you gone too far?
But instead, he just says. “You’re not usually this…nice.”
“You’d be amazed how nice I can be when you don’t avoid my very reasonable questions.”
“You mean, when you get your own way?”
Chan laughs, eyes still fixed on you. “You’re a bit of a brat, aren’t you?”
He probably just means it innocently, but the way he says ‘brat’, the tone of his voice…
You take a deep breath, fighting back the flush that threatens to creep into your face. “Sometimes. It’s another one of those charms I was talking about.”
Chan doesn’t have a response to that. Maybe he wasn’t expecting you to agree.
You shift again, as your attention turns to the next set of scratches, and by sheer accident, your fingertips catch his nipple. You feel him tense under you, breath escaping him in one sharp exhale, and he hisses. “Careful.”
“Sorry,” you mumble, but you can’t help but examine this new piece of information about Chan with amusement. Sensitive nips. How unexpectedly…cute. “You OK?”
“Mm-hm. Just finish this up quickly,” he says, and there’s an edge of urgency in his tone, a desire to really see you end this as soon as possible.
It sounds foolish, but it’s really only then that you realise just how compromising this position is. Like, objectively, you had known the whole time that you had been straddling Chan – but it had still felt like a game, a competition, a statement.
The idea that he just wanted this over with should feel like victory, but you find yourself a little caught off-guard.
You’re so caught up in these thoughts that you don’t think through your next action. You’re so focused on reaching for that last wound snaking around his rib, just a touch too low for you to reach with your legs in their current position. You just need to lower them, then you can reach, then you can finish. Easy.
That’s why you don’t think twice before you lower yourself onto his lap completely, completely intent on just cleaning the cut and moving on.
And then you feel it.
Something in his lap, not quite pressing up into you, but certainly there. Interested. Insistent.
Chan is getting hard.
Your eyes snap up to meet his, watching as he swallows, struggling to hide the new flush in his face.
“It happens sometimes, after a transformation. Body’s still trying to recover, hormones are all over the place. Ignore it.”
“…OK,” you nod, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s right, it does make some kind of logical sense that his body is still all out of whack from changing. Physiological reactions happen. Dudes pop boners for literally no reason sometimes. It’s fine.
Of course, you’d been around Felix several times after his transformations, ready with water and clean clothes and some good old-fashioned moral support. And never once had this happened.
You can’t help but comment on it – which maybe spoke volumes for your own self-preservation instincts. “I mean, it definitely can’t be the cute girl in your lap or anything.”
Chan stills at your words, and his response is definitely evasive. “…You’re calling yourself cute now, huh?”
“You say it like it’s not the objective truth,” you respond, gently dabbing at that deceptively deep cut on his ribs. He tenses with the pain, and in your new position, you can feel the way his thighs squeeze and harden, the way his breath cuts short. You swallow, feeling a little warm. “I’m decently attractive. I’m very aware of this. It seems you’re aware of it too.”
“What makes you so sure of that?”
You smile sweetly at the man under you, the picture of innocence. “Channie, your dick is literally poking me in the leg.”
To your surprise, he flushes at your words, quickly averting his gaze as he tried to keep his expression under control. “…It’s a wolf thing, not a you thing.”
You’re not so sure about that.
You don’t know what to do with this new knowledge. Chan – big, scary, pack leader Chan – finds you attractive. It fills you with a sense of…power. You have to fight to keep the smirk off your face, but there’s no mistaking the smugness growing inside of you with every passing second. “For a wolf thing, you’re very flustered.”
“Maybe it’s because you keep talking about my dick,” Chan mutters.
“You want me to stop?” You ask, only half-teasing. You’re not here to push any limits, make anyone feel uncomfortable.
And again, Chan’s response is evasive. “Are you actually capable of stopping?”
Testing a theory, your hand returns to the cut on his side, and carefully, you press down.
Chan makes the tiniest pained groan, hand flying up to grab at your hip, squeezing. The sudden contact is enough to jar you slightly, pushing you forward along the slowly growing bulge in Chan’s pants. His grip on your hip tightens.
“You did that on purpose,” Chan hisses through his teeth.
“Keeping pressure on that deep of a wound is important,” you say, shrugging. “I’m sure you can handle it, big guy.”
He growls – a low, rumbling sound from deep in his chest – and you roll your eyes.
You expect Chan to respond immediately, but he doesn’t. He’s quiet – no, he’s silent. His eyes stay fixed on you, and you’re starting to find the attention a little…much.
“You’ve never been scared of us,” Chan finally notes. “Have you?”
You blink. “Not particularly, no.”
And you really haven’t. As much as you’re aware of the danger they pose, the strength they possessed – hell, just look at the marks Jeongin left on Chan, by accident – you still found it difficult to summon any kind of real fear of them. They were just…dorky young men. Loud. Funny, in their own bizarre ways.
“I trust you,” you add, quietly.
Chan stares back at you, eyes widening just slightly.
You tilt your head. “You seem surprised.”
“I just…didn’t think you liked me very much.”
“…You’re OK, I guess.”
Chan raises an eyebrow at you.
“What you’ve done for Felix…you know, makes up for your personality.”
You’re being a little meaner than usual – probably to compensate for the growing warmth in the pit of your stomach every time you looked too long at Chan’s naked torso, or thought too hard about what you could feel beneath you.
Chan doesn’t seem to even notice.
Instead, he suddenly tilts his head, eyeing you very intently. His eyes narrow slightly.
“What?” You ask.
“You said you’re not scared?” Chan says, suddenly serious. Intent on something.
You’re somewhat wary when you reply. “Yeah. Of course I’m not.”
You jump, because suddenly Chan’s other hand slides around your neck. Not in a choking position – there’s no pressure at all, his palm is only covering the side of your neck, and his thumb is resting just under the corner of your jaw instead of anywhere near your windpipe.
It’s unexpected enough to render you completely silent for a moment, blinking at him in confusion.
And then you see the corners of his mouth turn up in that familiar smirk, and you feel the pad of his thumb press just a little more firmly into your skin.
“Thought I heard something,” Chan muses, vaguely, and it takes you a few seconds to realise…
His hand. His thumb.
He’s checking your pulse.
…Oh, stupid fucking wolf senses. Of course he could hear how hard your heart was beating – the one tell you couldn’t control.
It feels a little unfair, honestly.
He knows he has the upper hand now, and his entire body language changes with this information. He’s relaxed, open, ten times more confident as he watches you with that teasing smirk. “So, if you’re not scared, why–”
“Shut the fuck up,” you snap, fuming that he’s managed to one-up you with this stupid little supernatural advantage he has.
“I don’t think I will.”
The hand on your hip shifts just slightly, and his thumb presses into the dip of your hipbone, rubbing slow circles into the soft flesh there.
It’s irritatingly effective. You find your own thighs starting to twitch, core clenching.
Chan hums again, this time in amusement, and continues this movement. His other hand drops from your neck to rest on your other hip. It’s a strange balance – there’s no pressure there, his touch is so light but it’s almost…possessive.
The two of you are starting to drift a little close to the edge of something.
Chan is now unmistakeably hard, and you can feel him pressing up into your inner thigh – just a few inches off from your core. It’s taking a lot of willpower to stop yourself from shifting slightly over and getting that pressure right where you needed it. You’re glad you wore jeans today instead of a skirt – there would be no hiding the effect he was having on you without the extra layer of denim separating you from his lap.
“It seems like you’re done with that,” Chan notes, nodding his head towards the first-aid kit by your side, which has sat untouched for a while now.
You look down at it. “…Yeah, I’m finished. You’re all set.”
Despite your words, you make no attempt to leave his lap.
Chan notices, and his grip tightens around you. Not pulling you down onto him, but just…holding. Tightly.
There’s a moment of silence that settles between the two of you. You’re fixated on each other, like two opponents in a game of chess, regarding the other’s every move.
Being the first to give in almost seems like a defeat, an admission of weakness. But if you’re going to go down, you’re going to go down swinging.
Your hand snakes up into his hair, tangling itself in the roots and tugging his head up to meet yours when your lips come crashing down on his.
Chan groans into you, and that’s when he finally relents, squeezing your hips with his hands as he grinds you down onto him. The friction is enough to make you whimper, the embarrassing sound muffled but still painfully audible.
When you finally pull away for breath, Chan is already attacking your throat with kisses, insatiable. You imagine he’s this close to openly rutting up against you – and it’s that desperation that soothes your ego, allowing you to believe you’re saving face here. Does it really count as a defeat when Chan is so clearly the more eager one?
You barely get the chance to savour this thought, before one of Chan’s hands leaves your hip to slowly slide under your shirt, taking his time. He reaches your bra, and you feel him stroke the lacy edge of the cup.
You pause, still shivering with delight as Chan’s mouth finds the sensitive spot just under your ear, and gently mouths at it. “Chan–”
“Just let me know if you want to stop, baby,” Chan murmurs in your ear, breathy. His hand is still on the cup itself, and he makes no attempt to slip his hand underneath just yet.
“Of course I fucking will,” you bite back. It’s like a switch flipped in Chan the second you kissed him – suddenly so intent on taking control, on treating you like something delicate. Where’s the Chan from five minutes ago who wrapped his hand around your neck to prove a point, and argued with you over how his scratches needed treating?
It’s clearly time for you to flip that switch back.
Grabbing his chin firmly, you lifted his face back to yours to initiate another kiss. The hand on his chin slid up to cup his jaw, and you allowed him a few seconds to enjoy himself before you plucked up the courage to execute the first step of your plan.
You let your lips part under the pressure of his, and then suddenly nipped at his bottom lip, not quite drawing blood but certainly adding some pain to his pleasure.
Chan jolts back in shock, eyes blown ride as he reaches up and touches his bottom lip.
“Like I said,” you remind him, resettling your weight across Chan’s hips, ignoring the way he sucks in a breath when your movement sparks another delicious wave of friction. “Tougher than I look. Don’t start being gentle with me now.”
You accompany your words with a roll of your hips, dragging yourself across the front of his pants and this time Chan grips you hard enough to bruise.
You suppress a grin, and instead pat him on the shoulder, condescending. “I mean, unless you can’t handle it–”
Chan cuts you off, crushing his lips to yours, and the hand still on your hip slides around to slip down your jeans and grab at your ass-cheek. An embarrassing squeak escapes your lips, which only makes him even more smug when he murmurs. “Such a fucking brat.”
“Brat? What happened to ‘baby’?”
“Maybe if you start behaving again.”
You get a particularly strong urge to pout, but you figure that would only prove him right, so instead you do the next best thing.
You run one hand down his front, careful to avoid any lingering injuries, and find the button to his jeans. You manage to pop it open with one hand – a surprising display of dexterity, and you’re a little miffed that Chan isn’t suitably impressed – and you only fumble a little with the zipper as you tug it down.
You’re interrupted momentarily when Chan finally decides it’s time to slide his hand under your bra cup, and you bite down a whimper when the rough pad of his thumb brushes over your nipple.
Chan catches on, and focuses all of his attention on teasing that area, again and again. It’s a little embarrassing, how many sounds as he can draw out of you with just one fucking hand on your breast, but at this point, it’s getting a little too difficult to care.
You close your eyes, letting your head dip forward to rest against his, losing yourself in the feeling for just a little while.
You don’t notice that your hand has fallen completely away from his zipper, instead moving to grab at his thigh.
But, of course, Chan does. “Hm? Weren’t you trying to do something there?”
You open your eyes.
It’s probably a bit of a dirty tactic, but you can’t help yourself.
You drop your gaze, taking in a breath before biting your bottom lip. “I…uh…”
Chan blinks at this sudden change in your body language, and pauses. He doesn’t quite withdraw his hand from your breast fully, but his fingers start stroking patterns into your side. “You OK?”
“I’m fine, I’m good,” you make sure to clarify with him, before swallowing. “I’m just…a little worried.”
Already, Chan is settling back into his ‘leader’ role, preparing himself to reassure, to comfort. “What are you worried about?”
You try to keep a straight face. You fail miserably.
“You’ve been hard for so long, I’m worried you’re gonna cum in your pants the second your dick gets touched.”
You finally chance a look up at his face, lips pressing together as you try to contain your smirk.
And there it is, that fire in his eyes.
You definitely don’t have to worry about him going gentle with you now.
In the blink of an eye, Chan flips the two of you. Your back hits the mattress with a thud, and you barely have time to readjust before he’s got both hands on your hips again. Only this time, he’s lifting your ass up off of the bed, legs in the air, and in one smooth motion, pulls your jeans clean off.
Oh, that was hot.
That was…pretty fucking hot.
And now that your jeans are off, Chan has a clear view of just how much he’s been affecting you.
“Oh, baby,” he croons, sliding one hand up your inner thigh, coming to a rest at the edge of your soaked underwear. “Look at you.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
He just laughs, and your breath catches when he leans in. His hand moves away, and you feel his lips replace it, planting a kiss just off to the side of where you need it most.
It’s truly a sight, seeing Chan – shirt off, pants unbuttoned, shoulders tensing as he holds himself up by his forearms – between your legs.
You’re not going to beg this man.
…But you might find it in you to ask politely.
Suddenly, to your horror, there’s a knock at his bedroom door.
Chan jolts up, sitting back on his knees, looking down at you with pure panic.
The same thought runs through both your minds.
Shit. You didn’t lock the door.
Changbin’s voice comes through, muffled. “Hey, dude? You in there?”
Chan launches himself at the door, pressing both hands to it before Changbin can even attempt to open it. “Just a second!”
He turns back to look at you, hair mussed, eyes wide with panic.
You’re pretty sure the same can be said for you.
After a moment of blind panic, Chan has the sense to do up his jeans. You see the way his jaw tightens, eyes squeezing shut for a second when he has to dig his hand into pants to shove his erection down one side. It doesn’t do that much to hide what’s going on – and you feel yourself twitch at the thought of how fucking big Chan seems to be down there – but it’s better than nothing.
With one last futile attempt at fixing his hair, Chan lets out one last deep breath, and cracks open the door. “Yeah?”
You know you’re out of sight in your current position – with how small that gap is in the door, Changbin only has a narrow view of the far wall – but you still tense. Your legs quickly snap together, but you don’t risk trying to reach for your jeans to put them back on.
You hear Changbin speak once again. “Have you seen…oh, well obviously, you have–”
“What?” Chan interrupts, and you fight the urge to face-palm at how panicked he sounds.
“It looks like she’s patched you up,” you hear Changbin say, his voice slow, careful. He’s definitely picked up on something. “Did she say anything about going out? She’s not in her room, and the guys want to make dinner as a big thank you thing.”
It is so like the guys to decide to do something so sweet for you at exactly the wrong time.
“Nope. Not seen her,” Chan lies, forcing a shrug.
There’s a pause. A long pause.
“…Do you still have those headphones I lent you on the car ride here?” Changbin asks, sounding ever so innocent.
Chan swallows, and makes the mistake of looking behind him at the desk in the corner of the room. You spot the headphones resting there. “Yeah?”
“Can I grab them?”
“…Uh, don’t worry about it. I-I’ll get them for you now.”
Another pause, and you hear Changbin make one single step towards the door. Chan tenses, and pulls the door closer towards him, blocking even more of the room from sight. This time you do face-palm, as quietly as you can.
You see Chan staring ahead at what you can only assume is a Changbin who is slowly putting the pieces together, and there’s a long moment of silence before Changbin finally speaks. “…You know what? I don’t need them right now. You can just give them back tomorrow.”
Whatever Changbin’s expression is, it’s enough to send a pink flush up Chan’s neck. You hear him retreat back down the hallway, and Chan immediately slams the bedroom door shut, reaching for the lock and turning it. He even tries the handle again, pulling, just to make sure.
And then, finally, he turns to give you the most sheepish of looks.
You stare back.
And then your eyes slide back down to his jeans, which are still looking just as extraordinarily tight as before. Looks like Changbin’s interruption did very little to kill the mood for him.
And honestly, as the panic fades but the adrenaline still lingers – and this new sense of taboo, of getting away with something – you find yourself realising the exact same thing.
Slowly, you open your legs again, keeping your gaze fixed on Chan as his eyes drop to follow your movements.
Your voice is sweet, honeyed, only a little bit teasing.
summary: you never expected han jisung, lead singer of cover band 3racha and perhaps the cockiest person on this planet, to ask you for help with chemistry of all things.
right so 3racha.
these freaking goths (babies) made a lil punk band for theyselves
they cover a lot of atl n fob n p!atd and stuff like that
n sometimes they come out with originals!!
so 3racha were kind of...legendary at ur school
everyone was a fan of 3racha
their covers freaking rocked n they were just? cool dudes
on stage at least
in person…. *rubbing my temples*
chris was ok. he was sorta the leader of this whole thing
and he was a senior! so he kinda had to get his shit together and not be an asshole
the younger two, though…
changbin was the school’s Biggest flirt
changbin: hey babe what are u doing tonight
and jisung was so unbelievably cocky?
he wore his leather jacket to school every day (they all did)
and he would kick his legs up on his desk and shrug off one shoulder of his jacket
the screams of his many fans were his energy source
u were not one of jisung’s fans.
were u a fan of his music? yes
did u think he was immensely talented? yes!
but u weren’t a fan of cocky people
so u weren’t expecting mr cocky to approach you at lunch one day asking for help in chemistry
“h-hey jisung” one of ur senior friends, minho, managed to say
minho was a Big jisung fan
“hey uh….michael? whatever. y/n. i need your help”
“my help with what?”
“bold of u to assume im good at chemistry”
“ur saying that like i can’t check the test scores of every student in this grade. miss park big boy loves me, u know. i signed her phone case on the first day of school-”
“i could care less. if she Loves u, why do u even need help in that class?”
“right… bc i promised her tickets to one of our shows but then i couldn't get them for her. and then she failed me on the last test!”
“the only thing u did on that test was write your name, idiot.” minho says, his fork digging around on his tray.
“chris told me. we have anatomy together...yeah...im leaving. see u later my honey bunny flower MWAH”
and then he was gone
“what the fuck is a honey bunny flower?”
“me.” you sighed, pushing your lunch tray out of the way and putting your chemistry textbook in its place.
“here’s the deal. i tutor you in chem, and you pay me. $25 an hour”
“WAIT THAT’S A LOT”
“u wanna fail u brat?”
and that's how ur relationship w jisung started.
to be honest, your first meeting really pulled jisung in; intrigued him.
people fell for his charms and his smile and his leather jacket on the daily, but you didn’t
he liked that
you were cool.
nice? not really
“jisung oh my god this is the easiest problem ever how could u get that wrong”
“im SORRY. im thinking about alex gaskarth!”
“oh big mood.” u mumbled, turning the page in ur textbook
“U LIKE ALL TIME LOW??!??”
“yes? chill, this is literally a library.”
“how can i chill when i just found out u like all time low after like 3 weeks of us hanging out?!?!” but he was whispering...so he was chill?
jisung was always kind of a mystery to u.
if u asked him to do something, he would say no, but do it anyway
but if u asked him not to do something, he would do it.
and it was weird bc? after that first meeting, jisung didn’t seem so cocky to u
i mean, he was the same in class, sending winks to certain people in his classes who seemed to really like him (*cough* minho in choir *cough*)
but when it was just u two? waaaaay different
there was just? sumn in his eyes that seemed different
he seemed like a real person!
he was trying to figure u out
like i said, he was intrigued by u
and he wanted to know everything
and he eventually found something that !! u didnt tell a lot of ppl !! that u told him !!
ok u didn’t tell him he wasn’t supposed to know but he found out anyway
remember ur first meeting? when minho said he would see u later?
one day at the library, you checked your phone and !! it was almost 5 !! oh no !!
“shit. i’m so sorry jisung, but i have to go-” you started throwing things in your backpack, throwing it over your shoulder and Briskly Walking out the door
u didn't even hug him goodbye :(
yes, that’s right. once u guys were close-ish, he demanded goodbye hugs
but it was ok bc jisung was a good hugger. very warm. 10/10.
jisung wanted to know why u suddenly ran from him
so what would any sane jisung do in this moment?
so that's what he did!
he peeked around a corner, seeing u pull a duffel bag from ur locker
oh no!!!! a murderer!!!! that's a body bag!!!
so he followed u allllll the way across campus to
*gasp* the dance room
how u didn't notice him? i dunno man
u were in ur own little world
thinking about anyone in particular? hehehe
“HONEY BUNNY FLOWER !!!” 3 boys yelled in unison
“Y/NNNNN ur always LAAAAATE”
“i'm not even late felix shut ur whore mouth.”
“they’re always late bc they’re tutoring ~jisung~”
“hyunjin shut the FUCK UP OH MY GOD”
u were ? a lil red ? whats up sis ?
“how is tutoring the legend himself? any … connections?”
“what the fuck does that mean.”
“u feel...drawn to him?” hyunjin, the little shit he is, pulled u to him, wiggling his eyebrows at u like a CHILD
u shoved him away “LEAVE ME ALONE HWANG HYUNJIN”
“oh ok so ur in love with jisung! sick!”
these were ur dance friends!!! u + these 3 + 3 others were a Full Squad, but hyunjin felix & minho were ur BEST FRIENDS
u guys danced together every day after school n ! had the most fun
this time, jisung watched you
and oh boy
seeing you, working so hard on choreography, and dancing like that’s what you were made to do?
his heart started doing some flips n shit??? wild
so what would any sane jisung do in this situation?
so that’s exactly what he did!
he didn't really understand why his heart was doing the thing it did when he finished songs!!!
so he spent all that night w his headphones on, making a playlist of songs that fit his feelings towards u
at the end, he realized they were all love songs, and fucking
bc how could u Ever like him back?? u were U and he was just he :(
that's what he was thinking
the next day, he was a sad lil fella :(
his jacket? stayed on all day
winks? nowhere to be seen, fellas!
at ur usual tutoring session, u asked him what was wrong
“jisungie? what’s the matter? ur usually so bright n cheery :((“
“n-nothing! im ok! fantastic!”
he was suddenly so nervous
but! if u wanted jisung to be bright n cheery
han jisung would be Bright And Cheery.
it continued like this for the next few weeks
and then finals hit!
u were tutoring him super intensely in chem and it distracted him from the fact that FUCK U FELT LIKE HOME N U WERE !!! RIGHT THERE !! N HE COULD JUST !! SMOOCH !!!
so the chemistry final happened
u got a 97%, like the legend u are
and mr han got
drum roll pls
u had chem different periods, so u waited outside the library after school
jisung came up to u, all pouty, pretending that he failed
“I GOT AN 86 BITCHES I AM THE KING OF CHEMISTRY!!!!”
n ran into his arms n he held u SO tight
big uwu moment
“lemme...lemme take u to a 3racha show!! to celebrate”
“jisung u cant take me to a show if ur In The Band”
“u know what i mean u idiot.”
“ya :D take me to a 3racha show :D”
so the last day of school, 3racha is playing at this lil ? lounge ig
so they’re doing covers n stuff n ur fuckign vibing like YES!!! SAVE ROCK N ROLL!! YAAAAA
then the last song
ur a lil :( bc u’ve been having so much fun!!!
little do u know
jisung has spent the past week! thinking of the right song to sing /for u/
bc why not confess in front of tons of ppl right? haha?
he finally chose edge of tonight bc? all time low? duh
so he’s scanning the audience for u and when he finds u!!
the fucking smile on his face wow ur in love
“so this last song. it’s one by all time low, one of my favorites. and the favorite of someone...really close to me. so yeah. let’s GET IT!”
in seconds u recognized the song
n wow were u ! emo !
a song u loved by a band u loved covered by another band u loved w the boy u loved?
u were close to tears by the end, and the smile would not leave your face!!
so the boys said goodbye (one of ur friends kept screaming “SEO CHANGBIN I LOVE U U FUCKING KING!!! LEGEND!!!!” guess who) and u were told to wait for ur good pal jisung!!!
so u were just kinda. standing there.
“did u like that last song?”
han jisung was always beautiful, u knew this
but in that moment
no one will ever look so!! ethereal!!
he was a lil sweaty, but it made his tan skin glow! and his jacket was off and he was just wearing a black v neck w black jeans and ur heart was going AAAAAAAAAAAA
“like? i loved it jisung. you’re amazing, really.”
“okay! okay cool. because uh….it was for you.”
“yeah...yanno. the song really uh. reminds me of you! so i wanted to sing it for you. to let you know that you kinda saved my ass in chem...and just. make me..really happy i guess.” he was blushing and shaking a little bit
and u knew
“you know, you were real cocky when i met you.” you started, taking slow steps towards him
“o-okay that’s cool- why are you coming towards me? hello.”
“but now. you’re just a soft, cute boy who has my whole heart.”
“soft? i am not, did you see me- wait.”
“i like you, jisung. a lot.”
“OH UM HAHA YEAH ME TOO OK SEE U LATER” in a panic, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against ur cheek for about a Millisecond before running away.
— tags/warnings: suggestive | university au, mentions of kinky things. :>
— notes: for my soff soff @utopianvoices, soff bby who doesn't like hard smut. is it safe to assume you LIKE soft smut? hehe~ or shall i assume you don't like hard smut because you LOVE it. hm. much to think about.
"I've a question," your voice permeates the silence of the room, and your lover turns on his side to look at you. "Why do people think you're so..." you try searching for a word, but give up when you can't. You settle on continuing, "when you're just this?"
Chan tilts his head in confusion, before he understands what you mean. He lets out a short laugh at your lack of words, but it gives him an idea that you'd rather not have him entertain. Of course, things don't always go your way.
"What do you mean by that? Am I not satisfactory?"
Your mouth falls open and you stare at him in disbelief. Less than half an hour back he'd had you crying out his name while he thrust his fingers into you expertly. He'd brought you to the edge while you clung to his arms, fingers scrabbling against his biceps and mouth pressed against his collarbone while you tried to mask your sounds and stimulate him too. He may be soft, but he always leaves you so happy and satisfied that you can't fathom why he'd ever ask you that.
"No! You are. It's just that people always assume that you must be some big bad man that ruins anyone that gets you in their bed. But you're just Chan, an absolute sweetheart."
You avoid his eyes, but you can tell that he's looking right at you. A sound leaves him, which he immediately muffles, and you finally look at him, eyebrows furrowed.
That's his undoing, and you watch in horror as Chan laughs so hard that his shoulders begin to shake. "Why're you laughing?" you demand, face red and a pout etched onto your lips.
"That description of me. It's so—" he gets out the words only to dissolve into laughter again, and you can tell that the annoyance is leaving you. You can't stay mad at an angel like him. You feel your lips twitching as you try to not join him in his laughter.
"So what if I'm a sweetheart? Do you think I can't do anything that people think I can?"
"That's... not what I meant. I just feel like people perceive you as one dimensional. It's like they think you only know how to be rough and callous."
"Wait, what're you talking about? Did anyone say anything?"
You roll your eyes, "Chan, literally everyone at our university thinks you're some sort of sex freak that ties his flings up and spanks the life out of them. They think you get off on people's pain and like to be called— names," you bite your lip to swallow what you almost told him. You can't tell him what you've heard people say while they giggle over him in the bathrooms. Just the thought of it makes your face burn in shame.
He's quiet for a bit, eyes narrowed while he mulls over your words. He's staring off into space, eyes distant as he thinks about who knows what, and then his eyes meet yours again as he opens his mouth, "Are you kink shaming?"
You sputter, hands coming up to tug at the strands of your hair in agitation, "Of course not! It just seems very much like they're projecting their fantasies onto you. We've been together for a while now and you've been nothing but perfect. It seems stupid to me for them to call you daddy, oh my god, and talk about how they want you to edge them till they can't remember anything but your title. Not even your name."
And the worst is the sight of the numerous messages etched onto the bathroom walls with eyeliner sticks; Bang me, Bang Chan. Going into the relationship, you'd known that Chan had a gaggle of fangirls and fanboys falling over themselves to get his attention. His aloof persona that makes way for his heart of gold is something few people know, but it still saddens you to know what everyone thinks of him.
"Hm, I'd say don't knock it till you've tried it. Maybe they are projecting. I don't mind, though."
"So you want to be called daddy and have people beg you to let them come?" you shoot the question at him, uncharacteristically blasé.
He merely smiles at you, the dimple in his cheek accentuated by the action, and your heart swells at the sight.
"Every rumour has some truth to it," he quips, and you raise your eyebrows at him. If what he's hinting at is right, then you don't know how to feel about the fact that he's kept it under wraps.
Chan shifts closer, and you watch as he's inches away from you, tracing patterns on your bare thigh with his nimble fingers. "I really don't care what people I'm not close to think about me. As long as the people that are important to me know how I am, it's fine. If some stranger thinks I'm a kinky shit, who am I to spoil their fun?"
"It's at your expense, Chan," you give him a flat look.
"It's not all false, though," he says, and your eyes widen at the admission. "I have done some of that with people. It depends on who I'm with."
You didn't know it was possible for him to get closer, but he all but plasters himself against you, and his words flow out in the little space that's left between you two, "I'm sweet to you because you like that. And I like it too. But I can do a lot of things."
You don't know what to think of the sudden direction the conversation has taken, nor do you know how to deal with the rush of arousal that goes through you. You can't help it, he's so close and his voice lowered to a whisper does things to you. And he knows it. You really hope he's doing this without knowing how much he's affecting you this instant.
"I think you just know the me that's sweet to you, love. And I can't say I don't love that. You're so precious I just have to spoil you."
"What's your point?" you ask in the semblance of having any control over the situation and the conversation, but it crumbles down when he chuckles.
"Maybe one day I'll let you see other sides of me~."
"Chicken," you gripe, more so because you want to act normal, and less because you actually mean the insult.
"Oh no, you didn't just call me that, did you?" he asks, faux-surprised, "I'm being nice and only giving you what you can handle. If you wanted to play like that, you could've told me, you know?" Your face flushes, no sound leaving you even as you try to open your mouth and tell him off. Your confidence from earlier has suddenly waned.
"You must really think we're all mind readers here, Y/n. How can you expect me to know you want me to do all that people talk about? And here I thought you were my innocent sweetheart who still can't look me in the eye when we fuck."
"What?! I—" your voice is weaker than it's ever been, and you want to do nothing more than hide yourself in a pile of blankets, or take an express ticket to hell.
"Either you overestimate yourself, or you underestimate me. I'm not a chicken. I'm just being considerate. The day I think you want that, I'll give you everything you want and more. Maybe today's the day," he coos.
"And Y/n?" he leans impossibly close, watching your eyelashes flutter as you desperately try to keep your eyes open, trying not to react to his sudden proximity. He waits till you meet his eyes, before saying, "I prefer being called Sir."
genre: fluff, angst, not very enemies but you two don’t have good feelings for each other.
description: after sticking up to the girl that minho and his friends placed a bet on, minho thought it would be nice to talk to you, and guess what? he is right.
word count: 13.7k +
warning: feelings might be all over the place, (probably) too many repeated words. Also cursing.
Minho was never one to believe in fairy tales.
He has heard it all—the idea of an unbreakable friendship between two people, the process of meeting a stranger and falling in love, the quest to find the sacred sword, and unlocking your true inner self in the process.
They all seemed to result in the same thing: a happily ever after. And it was exactly a happily ever after that Minho didn't believe in.
The dining hall wasn't full, but there were a handful of exhausted college kids rushing through their essay with cups of extra-large, overly caffeinated drink sitting just by their pulled up knees, right at the edge of the table.
Well, at least that was what they were originally doing until Minho waltzed into the cafeteria without his girlfriend latching onto his arm as it had been for the past two months.
She did, soon enough, and your attention was diverted as soon as you heard the glass door being burst open and quick little stomps could be heard in the otherwise dead silent cafeteria. A frown tugged at your face when your train of thoughts was broken and all the ideas for your on-going story that were just flowing around at the tip of your tongue scattered away.
You were mostly frustrated, but Haeun's eyes were teary when you looked up from your seat and needless to say, your frustration was replaced quickly with interest. Jumping into the bandwagon, you grabbed your notepad and pencil before quietly moving away from your seat to be nearer the crowd of students watching the breakup scene unfold.
"Why are you doing this? We were fine yesterday," Haeun asked timidly, her voice coming out as a whisper but the cafeteria was so quiet that everyone around heard it.
You stifled a laugh. You saw it coming and you were right. Everyone thought she would end up with Minho one time or another, you did too, except you didn't think it would last.
Haeun was a really nice girl, smart and pretty, popular among her department too. But with Lee Minho's reckless and horrible dating pattern, there was no way Haeun could just happen to be that miracle girl who manages to capture his heart and change him forever.
"We were, but the bet ends today so I don't have to put up with you anymore," Minho's voice echoed through the cafeteria. When his voice dropped, the atmosphere tensed up so hard you could feel the hair raising on the back of your neck.
Students were too absorbed in the scene unfolding before them to hear the sound of your pencil scraping against the thin surface of the lined paper in an almost inhuman speed as you jotted down their conversation word for word, a piece of valuable information you could use for reference later in your own story to hopefully make it feel more realistic.
"Look, if it makes you feel better, I put in so much effort that I almost convinced myself that I fell in love with you too," Minho tilted his head to the side, a smug smirk etched on his lips.
Okay, that was really uncalled for. You furrowed your brows when you looked up at Haeun. You could see that her lips were quivering ever so slightly and her fists were clenched in an attempt to prevent herself from showing signs of weakness in front of the man she loved.
Cursing at the empathy and bravery that managed to break through your introverted walls and seep back into your mind, you stood up abruptly, and louder than you had ever been during a nerve-wracking presentation, you spoke.
"Okay, Haeun! That's enough for me!" You said with a fake smile as you carefully made your way through the crowd, passed a confused Minho, and strode over to a sad Haeun who was just as bewildered as everyone was in the cafeteria.
You placed your notebook between your arm and body as you gave Haeun a one-armed hug. Pulling the girl close, you whispered into her ear, "Play along with me. You can cry later, but for now, smile and walk away with your head high."
Haeun blinked a few times. Her thought process was being interrupted heavily by the mixed emotions she was having, but when you pulled away and gave her a look of determination, it was as if there was a mutual understanding between you two that she somehow knew exactly what you had planned.
You smiled at the light that came flooding back in her eyes, glad that this situation didn't have to be more embarrassing for you both than it already was. "I think I got enough references than I need. You helped me big time on my final project! I am sorry I made you go out with Minho, I promise I'll make it up to you!"
You licked your lower lip excitedly when you heard the gasps around the room, a sense of proudness boosting your small ego enough to make you feel giddy about yourself for once. Damn right, you know just how to thicken a plot. If only you could do it as smoothly when you were actually in front of your laptop screen facing a blank document with an equally blank expression.
Haeun looked at you thankfully and you smiled back despite still being able to see the fragile girl beneath her now fiery eyes. She thanked you gently before turning around and walking away, minding her confident strides carefully, while all you did was watch her back with a sense of awe.
Girls like her are so good at controlling their emotions, it is fascinating and really admirable.
The door to the cafeteria swung close and the room was once again rendered back to its silent state. You breathed in deeply, preparing yourself for the upcoming speech of shooing people away, but everyone had already scattered along their way as soon as Minho pushed himself up from the plastic chair and marched over to you.
He looked angry, but more than that he felt humiliated. Minho was a confident person, but he wasn't so self-absorbed that he would think he should be able to get whatever he wants in life, nor was he so narcissistic that he was only capable of loving himself.
The thing was that Minho put in effort into courting Haeun after his friends made him the bet on yet another Friday party night. He successfully trapped her in the palm of his hand all the while keeping himself at a comfortable distance so that the plan wouldn't backfire and he ends up putting himself into a committing relationship.
It was going well until you barged into the scene and destroyed it for him.
"What the fuck was that?" He asked with a chuckle that didn't really mask his impatience.
You looked up at him, trying to look right into his eyes to stand on your ground and show him that you weren't a person who could be easily seduced by him when in reality, a soft whisper of sweet nothings at your ear could send your heart running a marathon.
"Um, do you want a thorough explanation?" You suggested before immediately going into a ramble of lies you came up with on the spot. "You see, I took a creative writing course and I really need to pull my grade up. My teacher said if I do well in this novella I am writing, she might bump me up, so basically what I did is I plan to write a romance novel but I want realistic dialogues! So here I am–"
"Jesus Christ, shut up! I didn't ask for your damn background story!" Minho grumbled, "I asked what the hell was that?"
"I thought you heard me. She was a bet and you were a pawn," you said, "I think it's a fair game. You both didn't love each other anyway, why are you so sad about this?"
You furrowed your eyebrows suspiciously as you took a small step forward to stare him down in a more intimidating way. Minho gulped nervously at your gaze. He couldn't tell if you had seen right through him or if you were simply feigning confidence in front of him, and that suspense was killing him slowly.
Either way, you had asked him a tough question because you were correct. He should not have cared if the bet went through or not. The worst thing he would go through from a failed attempt on making Haeun fall in love with him would be a week of light whispering and his friends' continuous teasing, other than those he suffers little to no damage.
Saying he had put in an effort and tried to keep his own feelings at bay would only be admitting that there was even the slightest chance for him falling in love during the bet and actually getting into a happy relationship.
There wasn't anything bad about that, it is a good plot device, it just wasn't Minho's kind of thing, not the whole thing that screams happily ever after.
Minho doesn't believe in fairy tales, but why does this feel like the start of a horrible story?
You softened suddenly and Minho caught onto the way your brows relaxed and the once invisible concern came in the form of your slightly parted lips and widened eyes. He gritted his teeth. He must be showing it. Haeun talked about it before—the fear that seeps into his eyes every now and then, the sadness that he spent forever keeping as a secret.
He was giving hint at his weakness and he hated it.
"Fuck off," was all Minho managed to utter out before he spun on his heels and left the cafeteria. His friends, shocked by his less than dramatic reaction which they had anticipated, lostly trailed after him after sparing you brief glances.
You glared after him, blowing a breath of air past your lips in relief that the conversation was finally over. Contrary to your own belief, Minho wasn't as intimidating to talk to as you thought it would be. Well, at least not in the way you had envisioned, where you would coward in fear that he would push you down and step on your back.
He was more intimidating in a sense that he was very pleasing to look at, with alluring eyes that lies and pouty lips that pull into a charming smile. He was intimidating in a way that facing him might make you stutter a little.
But, despite all that, what you remembered was his confident facade that faded in front of you for just a second there.
You gulped as you soothed down the hem of your sweater. You might have seen something not a lot of people have the chance to see but that didn't matter. He will never start a conversation with you again, nor will you ever voluntarily speak to him. You could throw Lee Minho away from your mind completely the way he would you.
"Show's over, there is nothing to look at," your voice returned back to its hushed mode when you spoke to the small crowd of student that still remained in their spot, staring at you with curiosity.
You mentally groaned to yourself. This was bad, those looks meant a few weeks of hushed conversations about you and if you were lucky, no one would approach you to ask you questions regarding the fake deal you made with Haeun.
Silently returning to your seat at the corner, you threw your notepad beside your laptop and slumped down on the chair. You shifted to find a comfortable position, your eyes scanning over the messy words you had just furiously jotted down in the process, causing you to let out a scoff.
At least you gained something out of it.
Minho hazily chewed on the fries he grabbed from Chan's McDonald take out bag, earning a whine of protest that went unnoticed. They were back in the school cafeteria again and the mere sight of it brought those memories back into Minho's head.
After running the scene in his head for the millionth time, from Haeun's teary eyes to the words you said to the transition between fiery determination and soft tenderness that he saw behind your eyes, Minho wasn't sure if he was more upset or mad.
And it was until Jisung snapped him out of his train of thoughts once again that he realized he was too caught up with the thought of you and the mixed emotion you had him feeling by asking just one simple question.
"What?" He asked finally, pushing all his thoughts away and turning over to look at Jisung who gestured towards the line in front of the udon stand in the cafeteria. Standing there with a wallet in hand and your laptop in the other was you, talking to the cashier lady casually and paying for your meal.
Minho rolled his eyes a little before looking at Jisung, "What about them?"
Jisung smirked, the corner of his lips tucking up almost devilishly, "What do you mean what? It's payback time. Go talk to them, get them to like you."
Minho furrowed his eyebrows as he leaned back against his seat, annoyed and not at all intrigued at Jisung's idea. He had just failed his last pretend relationship and he was absolutely humiliated by the result. What made Jisung think he would be up for another round of him faking his feelings? Besides, having other people see him approaching you would only guarantee you two the position on 'the talk of campus.'
Minho's eyes trailed after you as you made your way back to your little corner and set down your tray. His eyes squinted at the little gestures you did after you sat down. How you tear open the wooden chopsticks bag differently than most other people he sees do, and how you have to put your noodles in the spoon before you eat them.
He scoffed with a curt reply, "No."
Jisung pouted but he didn't push any further than Minho wanted him to. Chan, who had been sitting at the side grumbling about his lost fries, gave Minho a glance before he hummed and looked up, "Minho, you're looking. If you really aren't interested, you can start by paying less attention and thinking less about them."
"I wasn't thinking about them," Minho protested but his confidence was shot down quickly by a raise of an eyebrow from Chan. "Okay, fine, but it isn't because I am interested in them, it is because I am mad at them–fuck, I don't even know their name yet they're twisting these thoughts in my head."
Chan looked over at you before his eyes landed back on Minho's troubled expression. "Talk to them. It will help you more than you think."
Minho inhaled in contemplation. He could just get over it by himself, he knew he will get over it eventually. It wasn't like him to get so hung up on something like this. But, in his defense, you did strike a nerve within him that not a lot of people have crossed over, and it wasn't because those people were scared but that Minho never let anyone know such a line exist.
He stood up slowly, throwing his two friends a glare in the process, and he made his way over to you. The spoon in your hand halted to a stop when you noticed Minho's presence and your eyes immediately narrowed in caution. When Minho sat down on the chair across from you, a bright and confident smile on his face, you knew you were about to be in more trouble than you had thought.
"Hey..." Minho trailed off, waiting for you to introduce yourself.
You cleared your throat, "(Name)."
"Right, (Name). So, how are you doing?"
The way he was smiling sent you shivers down your spine. He didn't look mad but you could almost feel the cold venom laced in his tone as he asked that tricky question.
What did he expect you to say? What kind of answer would satisfy him the most and get him off your back? To hear that you were feeling regret or that you had lied to everyone about Haeun not having feelings for him?
No. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of successfully messing with a girl's feelings and bringing you down so quickly.
"What's it to you?" You blurted out, playing around with your udon and not daring to look at him in the eye like last time, funnily enough. You were just so determined, where did they all go the second you realized your tone might have been too harsh.
Minho tilted his head to the side, his mind springing up lies after lies as quickly as possible., "Nothing, I just wanted to know."
"Why do you care, didn't you ask me to fuck off?" You retorted.
Minho heaved a heavy sigh. This was way harder than he thought it would be. "Look, (Name), we got off the wrong foot, alright?" He said slowly, his voice soft and manipulative. "I'm sorry I told you to fuck off, I... well I meant it but I have my reasons. I just want us to be friends."
Your chewing slowed down as you took your time processing what he just said. You wanted to ask to make sure you didn't hear anything wrong or that you didn't get the wrong idea, but looking briefly into his round eyes, you could almost see genuinity in them.
"Uh..." Turning your head to the side, you quickly scanned the cafeteria for his friends. You needed to see if this was a prank, or if this was one of their elaborate plans to get you to fall straight down a hole.
As you expected, you saw Jisung and Chan sitting not too far away from you two, sharing a McDonald meal together, but they weren't looking at your table, they were simply enjoying their food. You couldn't tell if this was a prank or not if they weren't hovering over and trying to witness the reaction.
"Did you eat?" You asked when you returned your attention to Minho.
The question caught him off guard, making him answer with his first instinct, "No, no I haven't. Why?"
"The first step to being friends, Minho, I'm going to share my food with you." You slowly pushed your tray toward his way, "You can have some of mine if you want, I can't finish it anyway."
Minho was startled at your peculiar offer. He searched your face, expecting to see discomfort or hatred lying somewhere beneath the corner of your lips but all he could find was nonchalance and exhaustion even though just a second ago you were all riled up and talking back to him as if he ran his car over your family.
You let out a strained noise when Minho snatched the chopsticks away from your hand and dug into the food himself. You eyed him weirdly, "I was using that, you're okay with it?"
"You were, but your mouth never touched it. You put everything on your spoon before you eat them, so it's cool," he said before slurping on the udon. After that, he clipped a chunk of noodle up and carefully placed them on your spoon, adding a small piece of chashu on top. "And don't worry, I won't touch it either so I got you covered."
You relaxed, surprised that he caught on to something that took your mother a long time to point out within just a couple of minutes. An observant person like him comes with a lot of good traits that you chose to skim past solely because it was Minho sitting in front of you, but nonetheless, he had managed to soften you up despite your negative opinion about him.
You stuck the spoon in your mouth and right after you pulled it out, Minho went ahead and stacked some more food on it. The same pattern, noodle and then a piece of chashu on top.
You glanced down at the bowl and back up at him, "Do you want the chashu? This is the last piece."
Minho paused his movements to look at you intently before he shook his head in disapproval. "Who gives away meat like that?" He asked, pushing your hand to your mouth, "You paid for it so you eat it."
You hesitantly did so, gently chewing on the meat and letting your eyes wander around the table. He was being nice to you, so nice to you that you felt the need to stay alert at what lays ahead in the future. And you would, but for now, during this particular moment, you were going to enjoy the phenomenal idea of not feeling lonely in such a packed cafeteria.
You ran across the building to get to your psychology class after being held up in your creative writing class and spending too long discussing your characters and their development with your teacher.
When you got closer to the door, you mentally thanked the gods that there were shuffling sounds from inside, indicating that the students were working among themselves and most likely would not notice you walking in late.
Fixing your hair a little, you pushed the door open and made your way inside. You looked to the class, seeing that everyone has already grouped together and were talking about what you assumed to be the project displayed on the white screen.
The teacher waved you off when you looked like you were about to explain yourself. She gestured towards the class, "Find someone to partner up with or you can do this by yourself. You're lucky I haven't start explaining anything yet."
You bowed politely before going to the nearest empty seat and settling yourself down. Even though nothing much happened and your teacher's tone was not at all harsh, your heart somehow raced immensely as if you had just been accused of something bad. Placing your hand at your chest, you attempted to even out your breathing by inhaling and exhaling slowly.
You opened your eyes wide, not daring to look towards the direction where the familiar voice came from. But Minho decided to show himself in your vision by moving his head over in front of yours, startling you even further than you already were.
He laughed faintly at your overdramatic reaction, leaning forward with his head pushing against his propped up palm as he stared at you with curious eyes. You, on the other hand, was trying your best not to fall right into his gaze and get your face all heated up, as you would.
"Minho! What are you doing here?" You asked dumbly.
"I take this class too, (Name), what else?" Minho replied as a matter of factly.
"Yeah, I know that, of course," you said, shaking your head.
Funny how both of you only just realized you two were in the same class even though it had been almost a full semester already. Minho was the type to not remember you even after he saw you and you always leave the classroom too fast to give anyone a chance at talking to you.
Your routes just brush past each other barely all the time. If only one of you had paid more attention... nothing would have happened anyway. Minho still wouldn't care and neither would you.
People like you don't hang out with people like him, generally speaking.
"I meant like what are you doing sitting next to me? Don't you already have a partner?" You asked, finally gathering up the strength to look at him in the eyes.
"No, I like doing projects solo. All the planning to meet up and doing the work was too much of a bother for me," he said casually, a grin slowly spreading across his face. "But you're my friend so I guess I can make an exception."
"You are so sure I need a partner?" You asked, rolling your eyes at him.
Minho laid his head down on his crossed arms, his smile patient. "No, I think you are smart enough to hold your own actually, but I wouldn't know if I don't try, right?"
You looked away, unsure if you felt more annoyed or flustered at the fact that Minho knew exactly what to say and how to say them. The way he levels out his tone to sound like he didn't calculate anything beforehand and everything that comes out of his mouth were genuine just send fresh waves lapping over your heart all the time.
And for a moment you forgot how you two first met each other and what he had done. All you could think of was that sitting next to you, with his head in his arms and his bangs covering half of his eyes, Minho was smiling up at you expectantly and you wanted to say yes to him.
"I... let's see how serious this project is," you covered his eyes and pushed him away gently, facing the teacher and hoping she could start soon.
Minho grabbed a hold of your hand and removed it from his head, a smile playing on his face. Your hand was rather dry, different from Haeun's lotion-filled ones, and he could see the gray smudge marks at the side of your palm. He assumed it was from all the writing you do in your notebooks.
He loved that he could tell what you were passionate about from it.
You weren't paying attention to him anymore, with your eyes focused on the powerpoint and your hand running across the pages of your line paper, jotting down important notes that can help get you a good grade in the class.
The playful grin on Minho's face dimmed to a faint smile at your somewhat attractive seriousness, he looked away, willing himself not to think too much into it. He had a rule with Haeun, and he has it with you: stay sharp and don't fall.
This isn't a fairy tale, you two don't belong to each other.
You made a note to yourself when you saw Minho walking outside the school's greenhouse, a place you go to whenever you wanted to avoid the loud cafeteria, to apologize to his friends when you have the chance for stealing Minho away from them all the time.
Well, technically speaking, it wasn't your fault. You didn't ask him to be clingy, he simply chose to spend time with you, and your heart thumps a little every time you see him marching over to you with that wide grin of his, happy that he finally found you on campus.
"What do you want?" You asked when you felt him approach.
Minho sat down next to you near the water fountain in the middle, stretching his legs out. "Nothing. Why? I can't even hang out with you now?"
You rolled your eyes but a laugh escaped your lips, "I didn't mean it like that."
Surely you didn't. Minho had been joining you on lunches and psychology classes for the past few weeks. You were learning to enjoy his company more and more as days pass by that you actually considered him your friend. It was safe to say that if Minho was to pull some weird stunt and stop hanging out with you altogether, you would be in more pain than you ever hope to be.
But that wasn't up to you, was it? It's up to Minho whether he breaks your heart or not.
You were too indulged in your own thoughts, you didn't realize Minho had leaned over to look over your shoulder, reading the words written on your notebook. You only snapped out of your thoughts when you felt his breath fanning your neck, and immediately you moved away with a yelp.
It could be his hot breath or the fact that he was reading your story planning. It could be both. But you were in denial, so you told yourself it was only the latter.
Minho smirked, "Oh, come on, let me see. I am curious! Am I in that book?"
You turned to him with furrowed brows, displeasure written all over your face. "No, Minho. Artists don't just show their things to people, I thought your friends make music!"
"Yeah, but they were fine with showing it to me," Minho shrugged.
"Because they are your friends, you guys are close and you trust each other, Minho," you explained, pulling your notebook closer to your chest.
Minho tilted his head to the side then, his tongue swiping across his lower lip in thought before he asked, "Are we... do you not... I thought we're friends."
"We are, but we are not there yet," you emphasized, pointing the rubber of your pencil at him.
Oh, what a relief. You got him thinking you still hated him there.
You relaxed, regaining your position and letting go of your notebook. "And no, you aren't in this story. You aren't in any of my stories, actually."
Minho gasped, "What? Why? I thought you were using me as references!"
"Just for dialogues, Minho. I am using what you said as references, not who you are," you pointed out.
Well, that was disappointing. First, the fact that you wouldn't show him your work, then realizing that there was actually nothing to show him at all. He had come to terms with what happened and was really anticipating the outcome of your imagination. Guess that was all shattered into nothing now.
You pursed your lips together when you saw his disappointed state. Your leg bounced up and down impatiently before you groaned and flipped to a new page of your notebook, cursing the fact that he was your only friend and he held importance to your life, meaning you would go out of your way to keep him there.
"How about we make one right now? A character based on you. I will see if I can come up with something for him, a brand new story just for you," you cooed at him, sitting closer so he could share the notebook.
Minho side-eyed you, the corner of his lips tugging up excitedly as he watched you write down the general information and put down his name on top.
This is his. Only for him, from you. There was something about that piece of information that just sends him waves and waves of happiness.
"Oh, can he look like me?" Minho asked, pointing at himself.
"Sure, might as well make him act just like you too," you said as you scribbled the ideas down. Moving down to characteristics, you hummed, "Where do I start... observant, confident, but also..."
When you trailed off, Minho leaned closer to hear you, but you had completely muted yourself from the world and was now putting your full focus on the character at hand. He frowned a little, wanting to hear you describe him more than ever, but he settled with looking at you write instead.
Placing his head on your shoulder, he read along the lines that you have written, "Observant, confident, smart..." he grinned as he whispered the words until it suddenly came to a downturn. "Minho is mostly a happy person, but he is tired, tired from having to... mask the sadness in his eyes with flirtatious comments... and overdramatic laughs."
Minho clenched his jaw, his eyelids slowly dropping down so his eyes were half opened, making him seem sleepy to others' eyes. He thought he was being careful with his emotions when he was with you, but with spending more time with you, he gradually grew to know that despite being a rather quiet person, you have a lot to say.
And that wasn't surprising. He has plenty of friends who are quiet thinkers. But you were also shy, the kind of shy that goes away once you find out that someone else needed yours to leave.
You could yell if someone needed you to, you would stop a stranger if someone needed you to, you would hold his face in your hands and look right into his eyes if he needed you to tell him everything is going to be okay for him, even if you were never one to initiate skinship like that.
You were the type to throw away your fears as soon as someone needs your confidence to come into play, and Minho thought that was absolutely precious, and he was falling too quick to be able to give time for his mind to catch up with his feelings.
So maybe a part of him wanted you to know and yearned for your comfort too much to bother with constantly hiding all the pain away. He subtly showed a secretive side of him to you and you had paid enough attention to notice.
You saw, you knew, and you didn't just brush it off. You chose to put it in something important to you.
You inhaled in accomplishment, bringing your notebook up to your face level and smiling at your handiwork.
You hummed questioningly, turning your head slightly to the side.
"Do I really look sad sometimes?"
You looked back at the paper, your hand unconsciously tightening around its edges in nervousness. "Yeah, you try to hide it but it's there. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have written that down–"
"No, it's fine," Minho reassured quietly, shaking his head before he buried his face to the crook of your neck, his lips pressing loosely against your sensitive skin. You didn't pull away.
"It's fine," he mumbled again, leaning his weight against your side. When you sighed gently and circled your arm around his shoulder, bringing him closer for a tighter, more consoling hug, the only response he could give you was to return the hug.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened but it'll get better. It'll be slow, but I promise it gets better," you mumbled, placing your cheek gently on top of his head.
Minho pouted. You smelt like the rose lotion he could find in a lot of shops from the mall. It was nostalgic and welcoming, you smelt like home. He breathed slowly and surely, letting his sadness sink away into the sea as your hand reached out to pull up back up shore as his mind blanked.
Huh... when did he stop comparing you to Haeun?
Minho tightened his grip on you, shifting his head to the side so his cheek pressed against your shoulder.
This wasn't intended to blossom into anything, at least not into something so great, something that gives him so much peace and warmth. Something that, for a moment, gave Minho the urge to throw away his policy and just fall right into your embrace, letting himself go completely.
It was something that, for a moment, made him want a happily ever after.
Minho turned over his laptop for you to look at, even though you two were working in a shared document and you were one click away from the page. Leaning forward, your propped up leg left the chair, you squinted at the words and the visual that Minho spent the past minutes to make perfect.
"Mmhmm, that's nice," you complimented in a soft voice, nodding in approval. "Just hold on, I'll finish my paragraph in a minute then you can read over it."
Minho nodded then, leaning back on his seat and stretching his arms out. He looked outside the library window, watching the people outside making their way down the street and realizing that the day had passed without him noticing.
He removed his eyes from the window and back at the table, where you were seated and furiously typing away on your laptop that his screen was lagging behind in showing your work.
Leaning forward, Minho laid his chin on his forearm and he started a conversation.
"So, (Name), guess who scored himself a little date?"
Minho waited for your reaction, anything that indicates you felt reluctance in the fact that he would be going out with someone else. Maybe a twitch of an eye or continue typing the wrong letter. Anything that leaves him a hint on whether you have even the smallest feelings for him.
And if you did, he would cancel the date so fast you wouldn't even know he had it in the first place.
"Oh really? That's nice," you muttered under your breath, trying to look at him but the document at hand was not giving you a chance. "I wish I can do that but nobody likes me so I guess I'll die alone."
Minho sat up a little, "Hey, this isn't a self-loathing hour, okay?"
"Yeah, okay," You said as your fingers finally halted to a stop. Scrolling up, you gave the passage a scan before you breathed out a content sigh. Finally finished. When you looked over to Minho, your forehead creased at the way he was glaring at you. "What did I do?"
Minho softened. Has self-hate been a part of your life for too long you stop being able to recognize if you're hurting yourself emotionally anymore? "You know it hurts your mind more when you say it to yourself right? Because your mind is convinced that you think it is true."
"We learned that in class, Minho, I know," you replied.
He whined, "Then why are you still doing it!"
You shrugged, "It's my coping mechanism for my shitty, sad self. And because no one has ever... shown me otherwise?"
"You insult yourself one more time and trust me, I'll kick your ass," Minho pointed at you, causing you to laugh incredulously.
"It's fine, Minho, this is a thing," you said, "You clearly don't understand how much I don't like myself, but I'm fine."
Minho stared at you for a moment, his cheeks puffing out as he quietly blew the air out. His lips stretched downwards into a scowl as he suddenly stood up, going around the table to wrap you in a headlock.
You stifled a laugh, hitting his arm gently as you looked around the area to see if you two were bothering anyone who was actually trying to pass a grade. There were a few looks, but that was it. Seeing your lack of protest, Minho ruffled your hair roughly and decided to let you go.
He sat back across from you, bringing his chair closer to the table as he grabbed a hold of your laptop, settling down to proofread what you wrote.
You fixed your hair, brushing them down with a scrunched up nose that displayed your faint annoyance. Breathing out a sigh, you laid your head on top of the table after seeing Minho might need some extra time to read through your work.
"Minho," you started, only continuing after you heard him hum absentmindedly in response. "What is up with you and jumping from people to people? If I'm not wrong, you aren't going to be serious with this one either, are you?"
Minho looked over at you briefly before he replied, "It's not that I want to play around, I just... I don't think people are meant to be together."
You raised your eyebrows curiously, "Really? Why is that?"
Minho removed his eyes from the screen, looking at you in contemplation. You were stepping in deep water, it was something Minho had told no one except for his small group of close friends. You could sense his hesitation, so you decided you wouldn't push him to answer you.
"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. Look, I don't know what happened, but let me tell you one thing, Minho," you said, twirling the pen in your hand before stopping and pointing the tip at him, "You are going to find someone one day, someone who can break down your walls and make your heart flutter like no other, someone who you can't keep your hands off of. Maybe you are right. People can't be together forever, so let's rephrase that."
You smiled, eyeing him smartly, "You're going to find someone who makes you want an eternity."
Minho exhaled softly, absolutely amazed at the words that just came out of your mouth. He had his doubts about you being a writer, but they just got blown away completely by the sentences you had just constructed from your mind on the spot. All the words forming together to tell him that you believed that there is a possibility for him that he never thought he'll have.
Looking down at his lap, Minho spoke, "My dad remarried four times. I never thought it would impact me this much, actually. I always thought as long as I have a roof over my head and food on the table, I will be fine, but I guess a mother figure can never be replaced by materialistic things that my dad tries to give me over the course of switching mothers so many times until I had none."
You didn't speak, waiting for him to finish meanwhile you place your chin on your palm, staring at him with soft but attentive eyes.
"I chose to stay with my father when he first separated from my birth mother. I didn't know I was in for one hell of a ride," Minho smiled bitterly, "The other moms I've had, they were all nice to me, so caring and so understanding. Some of them have their own kids so I had temporary siblings. They all got my hopes up, each and every time, that maybe one of them will stay, but none of them ever did."
You hummed understandingly yet you were unsure what to tell him. You couldn't relate. Your parents loved each other and they loved you. You've had a mom who is always there when you call her and a dad who brings home your favorite snacks every other night. The only things you could say were probably useless words that Minho had heard multiple times from people he had actually told this to.
"Ah well, guess we're just two broken hearts," you said, "You know, me with the self-hating and you with the mommy issues."
Minho laughed dryly at the way you phrased it as he tapped his nails against the surface of the table as he stared hard into space.
"You wanna read some books?" You suggested suddenly then, looking at him, "There are a lot of books here."
Minho looked behind you at the bookshelves, all lined with books that he probably won't even spare a glance at if you never asked. He jutted his bottom lip out with a nod, "Do you have any recommendations?"
The grin that spread across your face was one of the things Minho liked about you. He watched you get off the chair excitedly and rushed over to the shelves. He could see you moving from one side to another between the gaps of the books and his eyes trailed, not once leaving your figure while he watched the number of books expanding in your arms.
You came back with a mischievous grin, setting the books down in front of him before you started telling him about what each one was about. The fascinating universes, the characters that you held so dear to your heart, the specific events that had made you cry and laugh at the same time—they were everything you love and felt passionate about.
Your face displayed so many emotions that Minho wasn't sure where he should start, but he remembered every detail of them. From the dreamy fog that clouds your eyes when you talked about a beloved character and the way your fists pumped as you held yourself back from a spoiler.
Listening to you talk about the things you love makes him fall in love, all too quickly for him to catch himself. But quite frankly, my dear (Name), Minho doesn't want anyone to save him.
When Minho stuck his plastic fork into your chocolate cake for the fifth time, taking away a small piece yet again and popping it into his mouth, you flashed him a glare and pulled back the plate that was set on the small table standing in between the two of you.
"I asked, clearly, if you wanted anything, Lee Minho," you hissed out, careful not to irritate the groggy not-so-morning people waiting in line for their coffee before hurrying to work. "You said no, you said you're not hungry, you said–"
Minho held up his hand to cut you off, the tip of the fork pressed between his teeth with his lips quirked up into an amused smile. A few giggles sounded from him as he nodded in defeat, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'll get you a new one next time."
You scoffed at him, grumbling about how you haven't had time to get yourself a decent breakfast because Minho needed to meet up so early in the morning to do a portion of the project so he could run off with a girl in the afternoon.
Bitterness swarmed in your heart like dust. Shine a bright light on it and it becomes visible to human eyes. You got it, he has a date, alright. Why did he have to keep reminding you of that? To shove your loneliness right in your face? Or was it fate telling you to take a step back and stop feeling anything for him, because it's a lost cause?
"You don't have to, just get your own next time," you said, looking away from him and back onto the screen of your laptop.
"I would but I don't like anything here," Minho pointed out, giving a grimace to the people around him who seemed to actually enjoy the coffee produced.
"You were just eating my goddamn cake," you perked up, your voice coming out as a hush.
"That's because it was right in front of me! I can't help it! But generally, the coffee here isn't my cup of... tea," Minho frowned. That sounded better in his head. "They're too sweet, I like them more well-blended and no sugar."
"So you like bitter things," you said, dull eyes glaring holes at Minho as if he just said something offensive to you. "You like dark coffee that has absolutely no taste in it, just like your taste buds."
"It's either no taste or it's bitter, (Name), pick a side," Minho retorted with a gentle roll of his eyes. "And no, it's not that I like bitter things, I'm just not much of a sweet-tooth."
Once again, with your never-ending glare of absolute deadpan, you pointed at your half-finished chocolate cake and spoke with emphasis on each word, "You were just eating my goddamn cake."
Minho's jaw dropped in disbelief, "Fuck, (Name), are we still talking about that? I said I will get you another one later, alright? I didn't bring enough money to last more than the date today, I'm sorry!"
Your shoulder slumped at the mention of the date, even though it wasn't like you hadn't been thinking about all the fun he was going to have with someone else anyway. Pouting, you lowered your head to focus at the document shown on the screen, mostly at the white margins of it instead of the content. You weren't really in the mood to decipher words.
Seeing your reaction, Minho's forehead creased in concern. "Hey," he breathed out as he stood up, moving across to sit on the sofa next to you. Pushing himself, and the chair, closer to your side, he leaned over to your shoulder and asked, "What's up with you today? I know this isn't just about the chocolate cake."
"Nothing is up. I'm just... " you turned to the side, pausing as you process the lack of distance between you two, and you pushed his face away, "I'm having a sad day, that's all. It happens all the time, it's fine."
"Oh no, why?" Minho asked, sounding like a kid asking for the reason behind something tragic that had happened. His voice was laced with worry and sympathy.
You pressed your lips into a small smile, "No reason, it just happens. I will get over it eventually, Minho, don't worry about me. Go worry about your date, how could you only bring the minimum amount of cash on a date? That's disingenuous."
You clearly don't understand how much Minho cares about you for you to say that. But it was his fault, he didn't say anything to you and you were the kind to need reassurance instead of subtle hints being dropped now and then.
"Your idea of a good date depends on how much money I bring?" Minho asked.
"You know I didn't mean it like that," you said accusingly.
A small yelp sounded from Minho's mouth, it was the cause of his failed attempt on suppressing a laugh in this supposedly serious situation. He grabbed your hand, causing your word to be spelled only halfway, and he casually intertwined his fingers through yours.
"I know, I'm sorry," he muttered.
You grumbled, "Don't be, I'm the one who's venting it on you. I should be sorry. You go have fun on your date and we can finish this later, I guess."
Minho faced forward, thinking a little too much about the way your fingers went limp as soon as you spoke, yet somehow, he held on. And he waited for you to do the same.
Nothing good was coming to mind.
You had been lightly tapping your fingertips against one single key on the keyboard and not once did you actually press anything firmly to form an actual word. You kept getting distracted by the increasing tabs appearing on top of the web-browser, learning about different kinds of useless information you have looked over before during your writing sessions.
Except those were actually productive.
You shut your laptop and placed it on the tea table. Getting off the couch, you planned to head to the small kitchen in your poorly decorated one-room apartment to get yourself a carton of strawberry milk, but a knock at your door made you pause.
You moved over to the side where your nightstand was sitting next to your bed and glanced at the clock, questions popping up in your head when you saw the time. Carefully, you approached the door and hid your body behind it when you slowly twisted the doorknob and opened the door ajar ever so slightly.
Peeking over, you found a familiar face leaning against the doorframe with a pout and you quickly pulled the door wide. "Minho? What are you doing here–did you stop by the coffee shop again?" You asked, eyeing the takeout bag in his hand.
Minho nodded slowly, holding it up, "I told you I am going to get you one."
You hummed, "You didn't have to but thanks. You still have money left to get me a cake?"
"I did, the date didn't go as planned," Minho started as he walked in, kicking off his shoes to the side and putting the chocolate cake on the tea table when he approached. He slumped onto the bed with a sad smile, "She turned herself in and told me she doesn't trust me enough at the end, but she said she had fun."
You weren't sure whether to celebrate or not. Minho seemed really bumped out about the fact that his beliefs were slowly becoming true due to his actions and you, of course, felt bad that he wasn't feeling his best. But god, it was such a relief to hear he didn't have as much fun as you thought he would.
You placed the chocolate cake into the refrigerator and pulled out the strawberry milk. Harshly poking the lid with the yellow straw, you skipped over to Minho and slumped down next to him. You offered him the drink after taking a small sip, and he gladly received it.
"I like the banana flavored one more," he commented as he swallowed a whole chunk down his throat, causing you to roll your eyes at him.
Silence fell between you two for a moment. Minho dropped the drink next to your laptop, keeping a good distance in case one of you was to knock it over with your legs accidentally and forever corrupt your laptop. When he leaned back towards the couch, he huffed out a sigh in relaxation.
"I'm going to die alone," Minho said, "I am never going to be in a long term relationship, (Name). I might as well start planning for my future, like how many cats I want to have and find places good to live in when I have five hundred cats."
"Jesus, Minho, you're not going to end up alone," you slapped his shoulder, seemingly annoyed at his words, "At least people still like you. You just have to try and work it out."
Minho whined, "This is all my dad's fault!"
You turned your head over to look at the defeated pout on his face as he threw his mini tantrum and pushed the blame to his father. You giggled, unknowingly moving closer so you could bring his head close to your chest.
Minho shut up immediately, a little shocked but overall, emotional. He had never been cuddled before, he was always opening his arms to hug other people. This was a fresh change, to have someone hold him close and trap him in a protected space.
He didn't even know he needed it before your arms wrapped securely around his shoulder, and he realized he loved this feeling. It let his vulnerability seep freely into his being, letting him breathe easily again.
He was only ever able to do it in the comfort of his own home. And it's been known to him that you felt like home.
Minho pushed his weight down and you let him. You two ended up lying on the couch, your eyes looking up at the ceiling and Minho's focused on the black screen of the television. His grip on your waist firm, with his fingers intertwined together at your back.
"I'm scared, (Name)," Minho whispered, breaking the silence.
"I don't want to be alone," he confessed, "Dad is always working and the house is always so quiet when I get home. There are no sounds of anyone moving things in the living room or cooking in the kitchen. No one ever barges into my room to nag me enough to make me feel irritated. I'm always by myself and I hate it."
You could hear the heartbreak in his voice and you felt your stomach fell. "I'm here now," you said, "And I will be if my company means anything to you."
Minho's heavy gaze softened, giving the empty screen a break from the glares he had been shooting its way. He wanted to chuckle but that would break the peaceful atmosphere you two had cultivated together, so he chose to press his cheek to your chest and rest there, drowning in your rosy scent and your sweater warmth.
You really didn't understand, huh? You didn't understand how he finds solace in your delicate touches and the tender heaves of your chest. You didn't understand how he sees rainbows in his eyes and feels soft waves in his heart whenever he thinks about you. You didn't understand how you manage to make him feel at home so easily.
You clearly didn't understand, my darling, that you were the eternity that you told him he would wish for one day.
Minho woke up groggily, as he does every morning, whether he wakes up later in the afternoon or earlier in the morning. He found himself on your bed, however, instead of on the couch as his dreams had told him.
You walked out of the kitchen then, with two mugs in your hand. When you saw that he was awake, you frowned a little in disappointment. You were going to stick the burning hot surface of the cup to his cheek to see if it will wake him up but that plan was shattered now.
"I made you coffee, hopefully, the way you like it, you picky bastard," you said, setting down the coffee on the tea table, "Wash up first though. Just rinse your mouth or use your finger, I don't have an extra toothbrush for you."
Minho scowled at you before he moved the blanket away and got off the bed. Washing up didn't take him too long, you assumed all he did was dump a big handful of water in his mouth and his face and called it a morning. The collar of his shirt was stained with water drops when he got out and his hair was messier than ever, but he manages to pull it off as he does with everything and anything.
You were furiously typing on your laptop when he finally settled down and drink the coffee you made him and he knew you weren't working for their project. The coffee wasn't the way he liked it but he drank it down anyway. He would just have to tell you some other day, not wanting to pull you away from your creative bubble.
Minho hummed from the back of his throat, looking around to clear his sight and shake away the drowsiness. He noticed when you stopped typing and he looked over, one eyebrow raised in curiosity, "Are you finished?"
Your brows were furrowed as you shook your head, looking up at him, "No, I'm stuck again. I don't know what they should do next."
Minho sat closer tentatively, "Can I see? See if I can help?"
You glanced at him, reluctance spread across your face, but you needed an extra set of creative minds for your story right now, so you let him. "Just read what is shown, don't scroll up!"
Minho chuckled in response, carefully going line from line as his lips pursed in concentration. After a moment, he smirked, "I am not sure about how those two feel, but from what I'm reading, they should kiss."
You breathed out a gasp, "You think so too? Damn it, I guess it is inevitable."
"You sound mad, why?"
"I–I am not good with kiss scenes. I can write them, yes, but these two are super special to me and I just want them to have the best first kiss, you know? I've waited for them. Hell, they've waited for it!" You exclaimed.
Minho blinked a few times, his lips quirking up into a smirk, "Do you want some references?"
"Do you have experiences?"
"As in we can make-out right now."
You almost choked on your own saliva when he suggested it, his tone so casual, in complete contrast to his nervously trembling heart. Putting your laptop aside, you faced him fully, "This is just for reference, right? It's not weird or anything, it's just for my book."
Why did it sound like you were trying to convince yourself more than you trying to make sure Minho wasn't going to tease you about it later.
Minho opened his arms, beckoning you over with a newfound confidence that he never really had when he faces you, and you moved. As soon as you got close enough, within the reach of his arms, his hand grabbed a hold of your shirt and he pulled you desperately over to him.
You yelped in surprise, your hands rested on his shoulder to steady yourself when you landed on top of him. You cleared your throat then, looking down at him with nervousness displaying at the knit of your bows but definitely no hesitation.
"Um... I've... I've never done this before... do I just–" you shut your eyes tightly and leaned down, sealing his lips with yours for just a brief moment before quickly pulling away.
Minho felt the wave crashing down on him as soon as your soft lips touched his, the minty aftertaste mixing with the sweet coffee you just had for the morning. He eyes trailed along your face, admiring the way your features were hit by the odd ray of sunlight that managed to seep through the curtains that you didn't open for the sake of his sleeping form.
The apartment was quiet, with only the faint sound of your washing machine turning in the kitchen and the sounds of cars moving out of the driveway to the narrow road. But it wasn't the kind of quiet that Minho was so used to.
This one was peaceful and nostalgic, like the kind of mornings where you wake up, you look around everything that you have in your room as if you were slowly remembering who you are after a week of exhaustion, and you just fall right back to the comfort of your pillow.
Minho's hands tucked behind your knees and he pulled you forward as his legs propped up, so you were sitting on his abdomen and leaning against his thighs instead. "I'm gonna kiss you now," he breathed out, his nails ghosting from your leg to your face, where he finally pulled you down to meet your lips.
Your mind went blank then and there and you couldn't feel much of anything else except for Minho's hands–one deep in the roots of your hair and the other one cupping your face so gently as if you were a china doll.
Oh and his lips, his soft lips, and his teeth that had unconsciously bit at your bottom lip before running his tongue over it and tasting your honey lip balm.
Lee Minho–it's just him, he's the only one you're sane enough to feel right now.
He held you close, close and careful, and his lips worked like magic against yours the way you to his. You two were drowning in each other's pool of love, helping each other forget the flaws you both owned and making each other feel perfect when in fact, you two weren't as individuals.
But it was the possibility that you two could be when together. That was the important part.
Minho gave your nose a soft nudge, his lips lingering on top of yours before he pulled away slowly, his eyes fluttering open after a few moments of settling his heart down. You were panting, but also completely shy about the aftermath of being so close to Minho.
You squealed then, burying your face to his neck, willing him not to laugh by tightening your arms around his shoulder. Minho pursed his lips together to keep his grin from tearing the corner of his mouth apart as he wrapped his arms around your torso, keeping you flushed against his body as he too rested his chin on your shoulder.
"I'm not laughing, I promise," he muttered.
You scoffed, "Yeah right. I can feel you smiling on my skin, Minho."
He chuckled, sending shivers down your back with his breath even though just a second ago you were literally tasting it on his tongue. Looking up at the plant that sat right next to the door to your apartment, you let yourself focus on the trail of Minho's lips that went from your neck down to your shoulder, the longing of his soft lips and the warmth of his embrace sending you a new hint of sleepiness.
"Minho..." you muttered, relaxing even further into him, "I... actually, nevermind."
He sighed contently, his hand running up and back your back soothingly as you two stayed in that position for longer than expected. When Minho spoke again, you were already fast asleep, he could tell by the slight heaving of your chest.
Minho giggled as he stood up, holding you in place by gripping on your legs. "Oh, you're heavy," he groaned under his breath as he made his way back to your bed, where he sat down at the edge.
He glanced at the time to realize that it was only a little after twelve. He didn't remember most of yesterday night, only the fact that you had pulled him close in comfort and he fell asleep. Perhaps you didn't sleep as early as he did and you also woke up earlier than he did, so now your body is making up for it.
Minho slowly scooted to the back of the bed after propping up a pillow, leaning against it so his back wouldn't have to touch the hard wall. He pulled the covers up to your back so it wraps around the both of you, sending you two even more warmth than you could already feel.
Once again, he circled his arms around your torso, resuming the mindless trailing of an unplanned picture on the small of your back. He exhaled as he leaned down to press his lips to your shoulder again, planning to let them linger there for a long time while he stared at the dust flying around that odd ray of sunlight that came through the curtains.
He thought he could do this every morning.
He wanted to do this every morning.
Chan's glare was obvious when Minho sat down across from him and Jisung. But his glare soon turned into a look of confusion when he saw the glitter in his friend's eyes.
"Someone is happy," Chan commented, knowing well to take away his tray of food and set it on his lap instead.
"Him and (Name) has been sitting on a tree, k-i-s-s–"
"We did kiss, you don't have to tease me about it."
"Oh shit, you two did? When? How was it? Oh, tell me everything!" Jisung's eyes were wide in excitement, almost as enthusiastic as Minho was if not more.
Chan nudged him with a teasing laugh, "Don't push him, he probably doesn't want to tell you, Jisung."
"Why would he not? We're best friends, we tell each other everything!" Jisung retorted, but then his shoulder slumped and he looked away with a scowl, "Actually, with the amount of time you're spending with them, they might have already climbed the ladder and stepped on top of me now."
"Actually," Chan looked from Jisung to Minho, the hopeless look on his face fading into a questioning expression, "Wouldn't that make you two partners instead?"
Minho clicked his tongue, a look of defeat on his face that both Chan and Jisung immediately saw through. Chan's jaw dropped in realization while Jisung simply looked disapproving.
"Why don't you tell them, you two already kissed anyway," Chan asked.
"(Name) only did it because I suggested it could be used as a reference, I'm not sure if they really feel that way about me," Minho grumbled under his breath. "Quick heartbeats and short breathes mean nothing to me when I can get that from running too much too."
Jisung tilted his head to the side, "They have to have noticed. You don't even date as much as you used to anymore. I'm sure they have noticed but they just aren't sure if the one in your heart is... well, you know, them."
Minho moved forward to pinch Jisung's cheeks, cooing lovingly at him. Jisung accepted this weird way of Minho thanking him for his encouragement, smiling with a low hum. When Minho pulled away, he stood up, causing the smile on Jisung's face to turn into one of annoyance.
"Bring them to see us, damn it!" Jisung demanded, throwing a piece of fries at Minho, who was slowly moving away from the table so he could leave the school.
The smile on Minho's face stayed all the way until he arrived at your apartment again, and when you opened the door, your cheeks stuffed with food, light danced before his eyes.
"Hey, I was just resting, I swear I was working on the project," you said hurriedly, letting Minho lock the door for you instead.
Minho laughed, "I didn't say anything. Besides, we don't have to rush, we are almost finished with it." He turned around and his eyes squinted lightly at the change of your furniture.
The tea table was moved aside, sticking to the shelve of books near the plant that was beside the door. There was only a fluffy rug in the middle now, with the company of a half-empty bag of chips and a carton of banana milk.
"Hey, did I buy that or were you stacking some up for me?" Minho asked, moving over to sit in the middle and conveniently picking up the drink so he could take a sip.
You pushed him aside to give yourself more space on the rug before you laid down, "It doesn't matter, it's almost empty now."
Minho hummed in agreement, deciding to finish the drink before laying it down carefully on the side. He supported his torso with his hands, leaning back on it as he glanced around the area before he looked down at you. Seeing that you were simply staring up at the ceiling, he mirrored your action, completely unfazed by your weird antics.
"So what are we doing?" He asked in a hush.
"Nothing. I do this sometimes because the floor helps me think, and the rug is nice to lay on," you shrugged, feeling the texture on your skin and shivering in comfort. "You can think, of course, you just have to keep quiet."
Minho nodded, "Okay... is this one of those methods for fighting writer's block–"
You sat up suddenly, startling Minho and making him scoot away quickly as he sat up. You turned to him with wide eyes, a look of enthusiasm, "Oh! I have to tell you the idea I got yesterday night, for Minho!"
Tilting his head to the side in confusion, it took Minho a moment to realize you were talking about the character, who was essentially him but in papers. His eyebrows raised in anticipation then, urging you to continue with what you have in mind.
Your hands waved around frantically as you rambled on and on about the potential plot that your mind had created, your voice rising bit by bit, unbeknownst to you. You were excited, and your affection for writing was rubbing off on Minho, bringing the same sparkles behind your eyes to his face.
His hand reached up to you involuntarily, grabbing a hold of your jaw and it rested there. You stopped talking, your voice trailing lower and lower and your hands dropping to your side slowly. You were looking at him with curiosity, but other than that you face was blank the way your mind was.
Minho noticed his action, but he decided he doesn't have to stop. This could possibly be the moment that he needed, the moment where he could do what Jisung had told him to do: to tell you that he's in love, not just with anyone but with you.
You nervously laughed, "Minho, you've been acting kind of weird lately."
"Really? I don't think so, I've been like this since forever."
He was smiling at you with so much tenderness in his eyes that you would be lying if you said you couldn't sense his feelings for you, it got you scared to be honest, because you weren't sure if they were real or not.
It wasn't rare for him to look at you like this. Most of those times you simply look away or change the subjects, but Minho seemed to be satisfied enough to just be able to stay within your presence.
But you couldn't look away now, he's got you trapped in his fingertips, and it felt like he's going to kiss you again. And you are surely going to drown when he does, falling into submission completely.
Why are you scared now?
If Haeun didn't manage to be the miracle in his life, what made you think you would?
"You don't have to do this," you said, "you don't have to act as if you love me, Minho."
His hands slipped away from your jaw as a moment of shock flashed before his eyes. "What are you talking about..." And then it was hurt that washed over his face, "Oh my god, (Name), did you think I was faking it the whole time?"
You winced at his tone, pursing your lips together and refusing to look at him in the eyes. God, you should have let him do it. You should have let it go and just wait for fate to do its work. Anything but hearing his brittle voice.
You do have a way to turn it back.
"Aw, damn it, you're boring," your tone changed drastically. From timid and cowering to playful and friendly. You looked up, a frown etched on your face as you slapped Minho across his shoulder, "Give me something exciting, something I can put in the book!"
Minho blinked at you a few times. He had expected himself to be angry about this, about you stirring up so many negative emotions in his heart and playing it off a moment later as if nothing happened.
But he wasn't. He was more relieved than ever, feeling the weight on his heart being pushed half-way down. Only half-way, though.
Because somewhere, deep within your voice, he could hear a tinge of doubt, and he knew you weren't sure.
At this point, he wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing either.
Minho's doubts got the best of him and he chose to stay away for a while. But Jisung and Chan both knew that he made the wrong call because being away from you was driving Minho crazy. He was spacing out and laughing too late at everything.
Yet they weren't so sure if being with you was going to change the situation much either, now that they knew you have this weird distrust towards him, towards people having feelings for you.
You perked up when the seat across from you was pulled away and you smiled at Haeun, who returned your gesture politely. She looked great, as beautiful as ever, and you just wanted to coo in awe.
"Did you order anything yet? Just get whatever you want, as a thank you gift for getting me out of that situation with Minho," she said as she carefully grabbed the menu and scanned over it.
"I haven't, I was waiting for you," you said, laughing a little before the light-hearted moment died down and it was just pure awkwardness.
Haeun cleared her throat, looking around thoughtfully before she turned her attention to you. "So, um... you and Minho... have been hanging out?"
You paused at the mention of him, your heart aching a little upon the fact that you two haven't really talked after that day, even though you had tried to mask your words with a facade. Minho saw through you, as he does, and now you've chased him away.
You've asked for this, but now that it really happened, all you wanted to do was curl up and cry about your feelings. This time without Minho.
Haeun pursed her lips together, "Jisung and Chan told me Minho's side of the story."
"Huh...?" Your eyes widened and you abruptly shot your hands out, "Oh no, please don't take me as a threat to you. I didn't know you still love him, I just–don't worry about me, I don't matter!"
Haeun breathed out a heavy sigh.
To a certain degree, she could sympathize with Minho. She doesn't know what hurts more, to have the love of your life tell you they never loved you, or to have them doubt the infinite love you hold for them and hear them step on themselves while you watch, hanging onto the idea that you might never be able to make them feel better.
They both hurt a great deal, that was what she knows.
"(Name), if I am still in love with him, I think it is safe to say you pose as the greatest enemy to me," she pointed out softly, "Minho... he's... he's a good liar. If you ask me right now, I won't be able to tell you if he is faking his feelings for you or not either, so I don't know what his two friends want me to do."
You blinked a few times, "Jisung and Chan asked you to talk to me?"
"Yeah, only after they found out we are meeting up, though," she giggled, waving her hand at you dismissively. "Anyway, as I said, we can't tell, right? We can't tell if Minho meant it or not and you wanted to be cautious about it. I understand that. But what if he isn't lying?"
"What if he is?"
Haeun furrowed her eyebrows, "Do you love him?"
You looked away, "Love is a strong word."
"Love is a strong feeling, (Name), and they're usually hidden well by people," Haeun said, "You can't feel it if it's not there, no matter how hard you convince yourself."
You relaxed a little, sitting back on your chair as you stared at the girl in front of you. "You... you knew?"
Haeun smiled, "I had a sense, but I didn't want to believe in it. I went along with the relationship to get the most out of it for as long as I could, until the day he breaks my heart. The thing is, (Name)," she leaned forward, "I loved him then, and I chose the process even if it meant the pain that comes with it at the end. So why not give him a try?"
You gulped, looking into her eyes and suddenly feeling a surge of determination.
Seeing your smile, Haeun reached over to give your hand a few pats before she pulled away. "Okay, let's order some food, I am really hungry," she said, raising her hand for help but also looking at you with a playful grin, "Oh, and please, don't shock him with those reference lies again. He's really going to get a heart attack one day."
You taught Minho he could find someone who would make him want an eternity, so why not tell yourself that it is okay for you to want one too. And if one of your possible eternities was cut short, so what?
You will find someone, you will always find someone, someone out there searching for theirs too, just like you. But for now, you choose Minho.
The tension was unbearable and the awkwardness was too loud for your own good. You sat at the edge of your bed while Minho worked by the tea table, the project forcing you two to communicate face to face instead of through the lagging screen of your documents and the texts that were often never checked.
Haeun's words echoed in your mind, encouraging you to speak up. Her voice got louder and louder until you suddenly snapped, letting out a frantic yell. Minho turned to look at you quickly, his eyes scanning you to see if anything was wrong before he loosened up.
"Sorry, I was thinking," you apologized, biting your lower lip in contempt. "Uh... Minho, can you come over here?"
He had to pinch himself at the side of his thigh to stop himself from smiling when his name left your lips, coming to his ear in your sweet voice. He placed his laptop aside and nodded, standing up and approaching you by the bed.
He sat down, waiting patiently for you to speak. His hands were curled in tight fists that laid on his lap. This was killing him. Being away from you was enough to drive him insane, but the feeling of sitting so close to you yet not being able to do the usual playful banter was even more deafening.
"I want to start by telling you I'm sorry, for doubting you and making us awkward," you said quietly, knowing Minho could hear you clearly, "I missed you, a lot, and I'm sorry for hurting you."
Minho gulped, wanting to hug you but he was being hesitant, "I forgive you."
"And, um, I... You..." Your jaw hung open, unsure of how to get your thoughts across with words, so you decided to do what was probably the worst decision you've made in your entire life.
You went ahead and kissed him.
Minho responded quickly, way quicker and more eager than you thought he would be. This was a confirmation, from you to him, that you would like everything to be okay again.
You held onto his arm, feeling your back touch the edge of your laptop and having to pull away, "Wait, Minho–my laptop–"
"I'll get a new one for you, I promise, just–" he reached over carefully, closing the lid and bringing it to the middle of the bed before he pushed your back to the wall, lips still on yours and his hand roaming the skin of your jaw to your cheeks.
God, being with you drives him crazy too.
He pulled away to look into your eyes, softening at the hazy sunset that shone behind them. "I missed you too," he breathed out, a smiling appearing on his face before his body went limp against yours, leaning in your embrace for the sake of his own life.
"I'm sorry," you said again, earning a nuzzle to your chest.
Minho closed his eyes, "Tell me about the story again, I wasn't paying attention before. The story for Minho."
You laughed a little before you started, reciting every detail from the universe you created from scratch. Minho listened, still finding solace in your fingertips that tightened around his and touching hands with euphoria whenever he listens in on you talking about the things you loved.
And he wanted to do this forever, with you, with his eternity.
He didn't even realize it, but this was his fairy tale, and this one is going to go on for a long time.
WARNING: Light choking, squirting, Chan dom...I think that’s it
A pen was tapping over and over again on the desk behind you and it was starting to stress you out. The class was already hard enough you didn't need some moron making it worse, you took in a deep breath trying to push down the urge to smack whoever it was behind you. They'd done nothing but tap the pen onto the desk as if they were anxiously waiting for something to happen. As time passed the pen tapper got faster until you finally snapped, turning around and slamming your hands onto the desk making the pen tapping stop.
"Do you have any idea how god damn annoying you are?!" The boy behind you smirked as you snapped at him, he'd been doing it to wind you. Felix was the University player and liked it whenever girls talked back to him, it gave him a reason to shamelessly flirt with them.
"The dog bites, I like it." You rolled your eyes at the boy who had a giant smirk on his face. Lee Felix, he was one of the popular students at your university and you hated him and his group of friends. They did nothing but wind you and another student up - Christopher Bang - claiming that you were both cheating on tests or they would come up with some kind of nasty rumour about you both this week alone it was that you'd slept with the entire football team. It wound you up that they were always so cruel to Chan when he was nothing but sweet to everyone he met, it didn't bother you so much when they were mean to you but when they were mean to Chan it pissed you off.
"What's up princess? Chan cant get it up and satisfy you in bed?" A bunch of snickers followed the comment he made but you just rolled your eyes again, turning to face the front of as you started waiting for time to pass. 'princess' was Chan's nickname for you, no one else's and it irked you that someone else had the audacity to use it on you. All you had to do was make it through this one lesson and everything would be fine, you could go and find Chan, Minho and Seungmin and go for lunch. The only thing getting you through this lesson was the thought of lunch with your boyfriend and two close friends.
"We all know what you're after, a good dicking but you're not going to get it from Chan," Felix whispered in your ear as he leant forward to you. He noticed you watching the clock above the teachers head and chuckled softly,
"You can come to me anytime, I'll show you how a real man should fuck you..." Hearing his words you drowned out his voice thinking about the first time that you and Chan had been together...How he was nothing like you thought he would be. See, everyone had Chan pegged to be the super quiet, shy and nerdy type...Which he was but once you got him into the bedroom it was as if an alter ego took over. You called him Christopher since Chan hated whenever someone would call him by his long name.
"Running late?" Minho smirked as you began sprinting towards the student library as you ignored him but he just ran alongside you, teasing you repeatedly as you rushed to get to the door.
"Minho, fuck off. If I'm late again Chan will kill me." You mumbled as you slowed down to a walk outside the door, pushing the double doors open to see Chan had already packed up his things.
"Chan I was caught up at work-"
"Whatever, you clearly don't want to get through the class. I'm not wasting my time with you." You hated that he was blowing you off, you'd been trapped at a late shift so you couldn't do anything about it. It wasn't as though you had Chan's number so you could let him know what was going on. He was so private he wouldn't give you his mobile number or where his dorm was, you'd tried to get it from him but he wouldn't tell you.
"Chan I need to pass this class, work kept me behind and made me do a later shift...I want to pass this class please-" You were following him out of the library as he walked away from you, keeping his head down as he tried to ignore the fact that you were there. You weren't going to let him get away with ditching you, not when you really needed this from him. There was no one else you could go to. No one was as smart as Chan and he knew that.
"It's Friday night, just go out and drink...Whatever it is you do on a Friday." He mumbled to you, stopping himself from walking when you stood in front of him. This was the first time he looked at you properly today, you weren't in your normal attire. Normally you'd be in jeans and a low cut top but today you were in a diner dress and some tennis shoes. The nametag on your dress being the giveaway that it was your work attire.
"We can do this Monday, I have plans tonight." He mumbled moving away from you but all he could think about was the dress you were wearing and the way you looked in the dress. He wasn't an idiot, he knew you were good looking but he also knew you were out of his league so he was never going to do anything. That didn't stop his mind from wandering about things though, the things he would do to you if you were his and he could have his way with you. Punishing you for being late to an important study session, punishing you for the way you wore low cut tops and bent over in front of him. Sometimes he thought you only did those things just to tease him.
Minho chuckled at you as you watched Chan walking away, his leg was kicked up on the wall behind him as he laughed at you.
"You're not going to drop this are you?" You shook your head at his question and demanded Chan's dorm room number. You knew they were living in the same dorm building and he had to know where Chan was. There was no way you were going to not study, Chan was the smartest kids in the university and not to mention in your course. He was your only hope of passing the test on Tuesday.
The door swung open but Chan didn't seem too happy to see you standing there. The smile on his face dropped and he rolled his eyes, he thought you were the pizza he'd ordered himself. His ''plans'' for Friday night were to sit alone watching the new Anime that had come out with a pizza.
"I told you we could study Monday-" He went to shut the door but you pushed your foot in front of it stopping him from doing so if you were anybody else he would have continued to shut the door.
"Chan, the test is Tuesday. Please. I'm hopeless without your help." He nodded at you not disagreeing that you were hopeless in it and not being able to resist the puppy dog look in your eyes so let you into his dorm room.
"You get one hour, any more than that I'll charge you." You excitedly threw your arms around him, jumping up and down as you thanked him over and over again but his mind was racing. You were still in the diner outfit that made his mind wander over everything, he could feel your chest pressed against him that made him bite his lip.
"Y-Yeah, come on in." He stuttered out, pushing his thick black glasses onto his face as he shut the door behind you.
"What exactly is the part you're struggling on?" He questioned as he walked you into the living area of his apartment, sitting you down and sitting beside you with his own books.
"If I say all of it will you kill me..." He raised his eyebrows at you and shook his head, he had no idea how you could have been struggling with any of it. He was helping the tutor grade papers and all of yours were on par with his. You were smart to say you were one of the popular girls in the University,
"I've been behind because of work, I haven't had time to get as much studying as I would like done." He nodded along with you and then he started questioning you on small bits from the classes that week. Wanting to know what you did and didn't know so he could come up with a studying style that would be best for you.
Later that night you woke up to a blanket being laid over you, you flinched looking up to see Chan standing there. He'd been grilling you for most of the night with questions and when his pizza finally arrived he shared it with you. Choosing to help you rather than throwing you to the curb like he said he was going to do,
"You fell asleep, you looked peaceful so I was going to just-" You shook your head, telling him that he didn't have to explain himself to you.
"C-Can I come over during the weekend? I don't have a shift so I can study for longer. Unless you have plans?" You suggested, getting up from the sofa and hunting around for your bag, the only plans he had would be the anime and he liked the idea of helping you far more than that.
"I don't have plans...You can come tomorrow." He whispered as he began walking you to the door, checking outside of the door to make sure the male tutor wasn't around and you wouldn't get scolded for being in the boy's dorm. The one rule on campus, no girls in the boy's dorms, no boys in the girl's dorms.
"Thanks for this Chan, I owe you one." Without even thinking, you stood up on your tiptoes to give him a small kiss on the cheeks. His ears began to turn a bright red colour making you giggle as you quietly snuck out of his room and headed home, looking forward to the weekend of studying with him. Chan's hand slowly raised to his cheek as he touched where your lips had been, he groaned to himself ignoring the tent that was starting to pitch in his jeans. It was just a stupid kiss yet his mind kept wandering back to the butterflies he'd been feeling.
The next night you were sitting together after studying all day, it felt as though you were in class rather than studying. Chan had different tests laid out for you, flashcards and study folders all laid out for you to work from.
"I could rip my eyeballs out, how do you get all of this done." You yawned at him, it seemed as though he just glanced at a page and the information would instantly be implanted into his brain.
"You're like one of those Aliens, aren't you? You absorb information with one glance!" The fake gasp that came from you made Chan laugh which sent butterflies to your stomach, you'd not heard him laugh like that before. The smile on his face was enough to make your whole body feel like you were floating, he looked so cute when he smiled like that. A small dimple on his cheek and the way his eyes scrunched together,
"You have a really pretty smile," You whispered before you even realised you were talking aloud, a giant blush spread along Chan's freckled cheeks and his ears turned a brighter red than before.
"I'm sorry cutie, I didn't mean to embarrass you." You squeezed his cheeks playfully but his hand gripped onto your wrist to stop you from babying him like you were,
"Don't treat me like I'm a baby, I'm not." He growled at you, you were taken back a little not expecting this side to come from him it and interested you a lot.
"I-I'm sorry, I was just playing...You are cute though Chan." Your comment was only met by another growl and he moved away from you muttering something under his breath that you didn't hear.
"Chan?" You went to reach for him to apologise but he grabbed your wrists again, pinning you to the sofa below him. You squirmed under his grasp looking up into his dark eyes as he stared down at you,
"I'm not some cute little nerd," You let out a small whimper as you looked up at him. A pool went down to your core at the way he looked at you, his eyes had darkened over and it wasn't the nerdy Chan you knew. You squirmed once again under his grasp.
"Squirming so much and I haven't even touched you," He smirked and you could have sworn the nerdy Chan you knew was gone and replaced with whoever this was now.
"You're so pretty when you're scared...Maybe I should fuck you dumb huh? Then maybe we can fill the brain with the study material...Stop you watching your phone every four seconds." He'd caught you reading through something on your phone that wasn't the work he was setting you and he didn't care what it was he just didn't want you to waste his or your time. This side of him made you excited but you also wanted to tease him for it see what else he was hiding under the nerdy persona he was exhibiting,
"I bet you'd cum as soon as you put it in me," You challenged, looking him in the eyes as you bucked you hips up to meet his. He licked his lips watching you as he nodded along with what you were saying, not agreeing with you but accepting the unspoken challenge.
"Is that a bet?" You nodded your head at him and he smirked, throwing his glasses down onto the coffee table where your books were left unattended now.
"If I win, you study all weekend and you owe me a favour." He told you as he let go of your wrists completely watching to see what you do.
"And if I win, which I will...What do I get?" He shrugged his shoulders,
"Whatever you want, but trust me, kitten-" He bent down to whisper in your ear this time,
"You're not going to win." His voice sent shivers down your spine and you bit down on your tongue as you watched him closely, wanting nothing more than to make out with him on the spot.
"What makes you so sure? You're just a nerd-" You stopped talking as soon as he pulled the hoodie off from his body revealing a pack of abs you never would have guessed were under there.
"Concentrate darling, anyone would think you have a thing for the nerd." He growled grabbing you by your neck and standing you up as he carefully walked you towards the bedroom. He hadn't even touched you and you could feel how wet you were, practically leaking through your panties.
"Strip," He ordered as he slammed his bedroom door shut, sitting on the edge of his bed as he watched you closely. You smirked at him, slowly undoing the zip of your black jacket before revealing a black lowcut top you'd worn a couple of times before. He kept his eyes on you, giving no inclination as to what he was feeling or thinking as you stripped.
"Slowly," He whispered getting down onto the floor in front of you as you got to nothing but your panties. You hissed as he slapped your thighs and you slowly began to lower your panties.
"So fucking wet for the nerd." He chuckled as he watched the way your arousal stuck to your panties before he threw you down onto the bed. Kissing you roughly as he let his tongue explore your mouth you wrapped your arms around his neck as you relaxed into the kiss. Feeling sparks fly out of your body the moment he kissed you. The kiss intensified and he smirked, dragging you to the edge so you were displayed out for him, he ran his hand over your thighs.
"Spread them," You did as he said and looked at him as he watched you closely.
"Do you want me to touch you?" You nodded desperately, hopeless for some kind of touch from him.
"Where do you want me to touch you? Use your words," You wanted to scream at him just to touch you but you didn't, you stayed quiet as you looked at him.
"H-Here," You whispered running your own finger over your clit but he slapped it away before slowly rubbing his thumb over your clit. You bit your lip, holding back the moans that were trying to escape from you,
"Don't hide the moans, let everyone know who's making you feel good." He ordered you as he thumb continued to rub your clit in circles vigorously. You moaned out, rolling your head back against the mattress as you enjoyed his touches. Pathetic and high pitched whimpers leaving your lips whenever he would change the direction of his rubbing,
"Feel good baby? Is the nerd making you feel good?" He questioned in a condescending tone that only made you more attracted to him. When you didn't answer him he wrapped his other hand around your neck, applying a small amount of pressure making you choke out a moan.
"Yes! F-Feels so fucking good!" You cried out only to be met with a slap against your clit making you cry out again, he let go of your neck and pushed two fingers into you.
"So tight princess, have you not fucked someone in a while?" He questioned as he began to rock his fingers in and out of you, using his other thumb on your clit again.
"N-No...N-Not s-since last year." You whimpered not knowing why you were telling him you hadn't been laid in a while.
"Maybe that's why you're always so pent up...Just need a good fucking," You nodded at him as you desperately began to plea for him to let you cum. He only rubbed your clit faster and smirked up at you,
"Can I cum? Please?" He chuckled darkly as you begged for him to let you cum, you were dripping down onto the sheets each time he pulled his fingers out of your cunt.
"Want you to ride my thigh first." You were shocked at his words but without hesitation, you pushed him to sit down on the bed and you straddled his thigh. Moaning out as the thick fabric came into contact with your bare core.
"F-Fuck." You whimpered as you began to slowly move your hips on his thigh. Rocking back and forth as he put a finger on your clit making you cry out.
The friction was getting too much for you and you were crying out his name. Your head laid on his shoulder as you rode his thigh.
"You can cum now, like a good girl." He whispered, and just like that you did.
"Chan!" Your hands dug into his arm as you continued to ride his thigh. Cumming onto the fabric of his jeans before he pushed you down onto the bed again, your legs were shaking as you begged for him to fuck you instead of teasing you.
"I-I get it, I shouldn't have said what I said...Y-You win." You whispered as he began to unbuckle the belt on his jeans.
"You're still so wet princess, and look at the mess you made." You glanced at his trousers and felt the heat rush up your body in embarrassment.
"I want you to make a mess like that on my cock, can you do that baby girl?" You nodded at him,
"Y-Yes Chan," He smirked at how easily you'd turned into a begging and whimpering mess for him.
"Stand up," You did as he said and he walked over to you, chuckling as you struggled to keep your balance. As he kicked off his boxers you sank down on your knees to get a good look at him. He was huge, larger than you had been expecting and it made your mouth water. You wanted to taste him, you needed his cum but before you could even put your lips on him he shook his head at you. At first, he was going to let you but after seeing how excited you had been to do it he stopped himself wanting to prove you wrong.
"Lay down and spread your legs." You did as he sat and he smirked watching you.
"Good girl, so wet for me as well." He chuckled as he began aligning himself at your entrance before sinking into you. You moaned out as he stretched you out, your walls clenching around him as he grunted.
"So fucking tight," You mewled out in response to him and he chuckled moaning when he began to push in and out of you. His hands gripped onto your hips as he began to thrust in and out of you, moaning our your name.
"Feels so good," You moaned out as you felt his cock moving in and out of you. Your walls gripping around him as if he belonged inside of you.
"Shit Chan," You whimpered as he continued to move inside of you, his hips slamming into you as you felt your next orgasm approaching, you squirmed underneath him. Digging your feet into his ass to make him hit deeper,
"So good!" You screamed out, dragging your nails down his back as he continued to push into you, the feeling making your head spin as it felt as though you were floating. The wet sounds filled the air with the sound of slapping skin and moans, both yours and Chan's as he continued fucking into you.
"I can feel you getting closer, do you want to cum?" He questioned, reaching down as he began rubbing your clit. You cried out at the touch and he chuckled darkly, slapping into you harder you rolled your head back in ecstasy.
"Cum." He commanded you and you did. Screaming out his name as you rolled your head back, gripping onto the sheets around you as you came harder than you ever had done before. You whimpered feeling your orgasm keep ripping through you as you clenched and twitched around him, an unfamiliar wetness came from you as you squirted around him moaning out loudly as it did.
"S-Shit! W-What-" You didn't have time to question what it was as Chan began to pump into you. Grunting loudly as he came into you hard, filling you up so much you came around him again at the feeling.
"F-Fuck." You cried out as you came down from your high, panting heavily as he pulled out of you and laid down beside you on the bed.
"Whoa." You whispered as you turned on your side to look at him, the blushing shy Chan was back and you giggled softly.
"Where did he come from?" You questioned, running your finger up and down his chest and abs as you waited for him to answer,
"Where did who come from?" He frowned looking at you as he wrapped a blanket over your body, not wanting you to get sick or catch a cold.
"Christopher." You winked at him and he chuckled shyly, shaking his head at you.
"I hope it wasn't the last time he comes out to play...I-I enjoyed that." The same smirk was back on his lips once he heard your words,
"Well if you study and pass your test maybe he'll come out to play again." He winked at you as you leant forward to give him a small kiss on the lips.
The bell rang waking you up from your daydream, you practically jumped out of your seat to get out of the classroom but Felix was faster. He raced up behind you and grabbed your elbow so you would turn to face him,
"Come home with the big boys," He whispered to you, trying to be as seductive as possible but all he was doing was coming across as a cock.
"No thanks, my boyfriend is waiting for me." You turned around to see Chan standing against the wall, he was wearing an oversized blue sweater you'd gotten him and the new pair of thick square glasses.
"Hi!" You yelled out, snatching your arm away from Felix as you walked over to Chan,
"Why was Felix holding onto you?" He questioned, wrapping his arms around you protectively as he eyed up Felix,
"He was just being an idiot. Telling me how he could fuck me how a real man should," Chan scoffed at the comment and looked at Felix.
"Trust me, the way she screams my name at night I'm surprised you haven't heard." He smirked at Felix turning you around and walking away from the boys who were all watching after you as you giggled to Chan about what you both had planned for that night.
summary: hanahaki au | “a flower bloomed in your chest every time you saw that smile.”
The day Felix Lee transferred into your biology class, you didn’t think much of it.
The teacher asked him to introduce himself, and after the blonde said his name, he blessed the class with a small, shy smile. You felt a pounding in your chest, but looking at the other students in the class, you assumed that you weren’t the only one.
Felix took his seat in the back corner of the room, and a bunch of eyes followed him. You looked away, not wanting to be part of something that was probably making the new kid uncomfortable. You could still feel that pounding, but you chose to ignore it.
Things only started happening a few weeks later. After all the Felix hype died down, your biology teacher assigned a partner project. You sighed, knowing that you were probably going to have to work with someone you didn’t really like, as none of your friends were in that class.
Fortunately for you, you weren’t the only one partnerless. That same blonde boy sat in the back corner of the room, nervously twirling his pencil around in his hands. You sighed. How could you approach him without seeming like one of his fangirls?
“Hey,” you started, sitting down in the empty desk in front of his.
“Hey. Do you not have a partner either?” His eyes were looking right above your head, just slightly avoiding your eyes.
“Wanna be partners?”
You nodded as a smile formed on your face. His eyes snapped down to meet yours, and you felt like you were flying. A smile appeared on his lips, one that mimicked yours. That same pounding returned to your chest. You figured it would just be a crush, like that one time Hwang Hyunjin bumped into you in the cafeteria, and you couldn’t get your mind off of him for a week.
Becoming friends with Felix Lee was the second easiest thing you’ve ever done. He was an absolute angel, greeting you with an arm around your shoulder and giving dramatic, fake tear-filled goodbyes when he left your side. He was funny, and kind, and smart.
“Do you think bees have feelings?” He asked you one night. It was almost 4 AM, and he was lying on a mattress on your living room floor.
“No, just hear me out! Like, do they get joy from making honey? Or do they get sad when they use their stinger…”
“Felix, go to bed.”
“No. I want to stay here...in this moment...with you…” And he was out.
Falling in love with Felix Lee was definitely the easiest thing you’ve ever done. Your mind was set to overdrive. You were a massive overthinker. To you, everything could have a double meaning. That arm around your shoulder was no longer friendly; he was trying to show other people that you were his. Those dramatic goodbyes were his way of jokingly showing you that he was sad to leave you.
It started happening in late April; 7 months of knowing Felix. You were walking home together, the same way you always did. He would walk you to your house, then turn around and walk to the bus stop that would take him home. It was starting to warm up, and you were grateful that you decided to wear short sleeves that day. Every time your arm bumped his, your skin nearly burst into flames.
He walked you right up to your door, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he pretended to tear up, covering his mouth with his fist. You giggled, shoving him away from you.
“Get out of here, you loser!”
“I’ll see you soon, my darling, I promise!” You could see his smile peeking out through his fingers, that all too familiar pounding feeling almost knocking you backwards.
A flower bloomed in your chest every time you saw that smile.
You rolled your eyes at his antics, unlocking your front door and stepping inside. You closed the door, leaning back on it. Your heart was beating out of control and your head was spinning. Everything was dizzy, and you kind of felt like you were gonna throw-
What? You never ate any rose petals, so why were they suddenly on the ground? And why was your mouth ajar, a burning sensation in your throat? You started to cry, overwhelmed by confusion and fear. You sat on the couch, curling yourself into a ball. You stayed like that into your mother came home.
“Y/N? I’m home- oh.”
You glanced over. Her eyes were locked on the petals that were still on the floor, then they slowly trailed over to your tear-stained face.
“Oh, baby-” Sitting down next to you, your mother slid her hand over your back. A comforting gesture, but it only made you cry harder. After a few minutes of silence, she opened her mouth a bit.
“The petals…,” She explained. Apparently, you had developed a disease in which you would throw up flowers because the one you loved didn’t love you back. Hearing that explanation made your heart snap. Felix didn’t love you. Not like that, at least.
At this thought, you felt the burn in your throat again. You ran to the sink, coughing up rose. Tears stung at your eyes again, and it was hard to keep your balance.
So this was your life now. Puking every time you thought of that stupid blonde with his stupid perfect smile and his stupid laugh and-
Deciding to distance yourself from Felix Lee was the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You knew it wouldn’t make you happy, but seeing him all the time made you throw up more.
It started with just ignoring his texts. Which was hard to do, as whenever you didn’t see him in person, you were texting him. The first day you did this, you could practically feel your heart being crushed. When he asked you about it the next day, you told him that you fell asleep early, and then you walked away, letting yourself get lost in the crowd of students making their way to class. You could see his kicked puppy expression in your head, and quickly excused yourself to the bathroom.
It got harder as the days went on. The pounding in your chest being replaced with an aching loneliness. But it was better this way, you told yourself, less petals this way.
Being separated from you was the hardest thing Felix Lee has ever done. His best friend, his partner in crime, his one and only. Why were you ignoring him? Were you annoyed by him? Bored? He just couldn’t wrap his head around it. You were his first friend at this new, scary school, and he cherished you deeply. He always told you that he would be by your side forever, and he always loved the blush that would appear on your cheeks as you agreed. So what happened?
It only took a week for him to get fed up. He showed up at your house on Saturday night. Your mother opened the door, her eyes lighting up once she saw him. She always liked Felix, he was always sweet and she saw how happy he made you. But then she remembered. She sighed, stepping outside and shutting the door.
“Felix, sweetie, now’s not a good time.”
“Why not? Y/N has hardly spoken to me all week, and they’re ignoring my texts and they don’t wait for me after school and- and I just miss them.”
“I know, honey, I know you miss your best friend.” There was a slight bitterness to her tone at the words ‘best friend’, but Felix just didn’t understand.
“Do you like roses?” Your mother spoke again.
“..Yeah. They’re my favorite flowers.”
“Ah. Have a good night, Felix.” And then she went back inside.
Realizing that he was in love with you was the second easiest thing Felix Lee has ever done. He was laying in his bed with all the lights off, scrolling through his folder dedicated to you. It was normal for people to have folders of just their best friend, right? He clicked on a video, feeling his heart rate increase at seeing your smiling face.
The video was from a few months prior. He was at your house, like he usually was, and you were baking cupcakes. Felix’s hand shot out from behind the camera and scooped up some batter, his laughter shaking the camera as you pouted at him, “Felix! Stop eating all the batter!”
Soon he found himself stuck in you, and he couldn’t pull himself away from his phone. Video after video, his heart continued to race, and he had the widest smile on his face. It’s not like this was new to him. Felix always felt this way around you. That’s how you were supposed to feel around your best friend, right? Like you were on top of the world, like you could do anything because you had them by your side. Like the world would stop if you felt their lips on yours-
Wait. That wasn’t very...friendly. He thought about that often, but he never considered it more than friendly. That night, Felix took time to actually reflect on his feelings. It didn’t take him that long, really. He just thought about dating someone that wasn’t you, and let the distaste in his heart tell him the truth.
He loved you. And not just as his best friend.
The day you stopped puking up rose petals was the best day of your life. You didn’t really notice anything in the morning, as you never really thought about Felix in the mornings, as you were too tired. But once you were wide awake, your mind wandered to its favorite topic. You gripped the small trash can you kept in your room, waiting to see the red, but the petals never came. You were confused, but glad that you weren’t suffering anymore- for now, at least.
By the time the sun went down, you were more than confused. You asked your mother, and in return she asked you if you still loved Felix.
Of course you did. They say, “distance makes the heart grow fonder” for a reason, don’t they?
A small smile appeared on your mother’s lips, and there was a small glimmer of hope in her eyes, “Maybe we won’t have to get that surgery after all.”
Right. The surgery. You didn’t want it. You’d rather choke on your own blood and die than stop loving the blonde that you’ve come to adore. It was sad, but true.
There was an impatient knock on the door. You opened it, coming face to face with the boy you adored.
“Y/N.” He breathed out, one of his hands pressed against the doorframe.
“Felix…” You didn’t know what to say. Do you let him in? Kick him out? Did he hate you now? What if he was just here to say that he never wanted to see you again would you die from the amount of petals that would definitely come from-
Loving you was the easiest thing Felix Lee had ever done. He would never be filled with more life than he was when he kissed you for the first time. He would never feel more joy than he did when he heard your little gasp and felt your hand come up to rest on his cheek. He would never see anything more beautiful than the deep blush covering your entire face as you pulled away, stuttering for an explanation.
“I love you.” His voice was lower than normal. It sent shockwaves through your body, with enough force to push you backwards.
“But- my petals- you can’t love me because of my petals-”
“What? No, Y/N. I don’t know what your petals are, and I don’t know why you’ve been ignoring me, but what I do know is that I love you. And I have for a long time, I just never noticed before. But you know what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?” He chuckled a bit, and your chest was filled with that same pounding feeling.
But no urge to throw up.
You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer than you ever had before.
You were cured, because he loved you, and you loved him.
Bonus: the stupid fuck got u roses for ur anniversary and thought that it was a good idea bc of what u had gone through. u had replied with “no u idiot. i dont want to remember throwing up literal flowers every day bc u were stupid and oblivious” while putting them in a pretty vase <3
Genre: historical au, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers
Description: traveling back in time is fun, especially when hyunjin wants to know all about modern day life.
Word Count: 16.8K +
Author’s Note: i didn't do very thorough research with this so some facts might be wrong, sorry about that. but otherwise, i hope you enjoy!
There were times when you regret not studying for your tests and instead chose to click away from your practice questions so you could watch a five minutes video of a random dude on the internet teaching you how to pick a lock.
Well, that was a mouthful.
A prominent example of one of those times—one of those because there were uncountable amounts of them—would be the exact moment your teacher's magnified voice echoed through the classroom, bringing the three dreadful words "five minutes left" with it.
And you were never so sure whether it was your teacher's booming voice that would always startle you or the fact that you still have a whopping number of questions marked unanswered on the test that scared you the most.
There were times when you regret not studying for your tests.
And then there were times when you didn't, and that time was right now.
"Okay, you got this," you told yourself quietly, rubbing your fingertips across the body of the bobby pins in your hand. Giving the outside of the tight-spaced jail cell a quick glance, making sure the guards who dragged you here weren’t paying you any attention, you reached your hand out in between the line gap and cranked your wrist to reach the rusty lock.
You were pretty sure you time traveled.
That was a pretty far fetched assumption but it was the only reasonable assumption to why the guards—who you had originally assumed to be extras in the filming of another historical drama—held actual spears, spears that grazed past your neck and dripped out blood.
Deriving some knowledge of being a long term member of the theatre club, you knew props were mostly made out of non-harmful materials, not actual sticks and stones.
You were so sure you time traveled. You had landed in the middle of the throne room, intruding a court meeting. Your eyes wide in annoyance turned confusion as you shamelessly stared at the king in his eyes and spoke with informality.
To be honest, you could have been executed already if not for the fascination of the palace staffs at your unique attire and the handful of colored banners you were holding.
You should be more freaked out than your current state, you really should be weirded out beyond control that how to pick a lock was the last thing you remember, but damn it all the television shows you watched and the daydreams you had prepared you for this situation.
And also, if you do die, the worst-case scenario was that you feel a bit of pain and then you would wake up on a hospital bed or somewhere in the middle of the street.
No big deal, no big deal.
"Gotcha!" You hissed out joyfully after a good ten minutes of digging around the inner structure of the lock with two tiny pins that you prepared for the actress. The lock fell open and you quickly removed it from the door, carefully placing it on the floor before scooting over to the back of the cell.
You grabbed your schoolbag, remembering to place your bobby pins back into the plastic box. As you were about to zip your bag up, your eyes landed on the useful device that fit itself in between your lunch box and textbooks perfectly, and you frowned as you pulled it out.
"I mean..." you mumbled to yourself as you examined the Taser gun in your hand, one that your mother had given you recently due to you having night tutorial school, just in case of emergency.
This, technically, is an emergency.
There weren't much you knew about the past but you've got a handful of information that told you the system back in whatever dynasty was certainly worse than the system back in the modern life. Most importantly, historical dramas have taught you to never trust anyone in an old palace because any one of them could be a backstabbing bitch.
You shoved the Taser in your pocket before you stood up. Slowly sliding open the creaking door, cursing at the rough metal feeling on your hands that was certainly going to leave a sickening smell, you successfully slipped out of the jail cell and made your way down the hall.
Your giddy feeling didn't last very long when the sight of two guards loomed over the shadow of the entrance to the jail chamber. You cursed, dumbly looking around your area to see if there was any spare weapon for you to use before, after a few moments, you clicked your tongue at the realization that you have a Taser in your pocket (and a trusting pair of scissors, a heavyweight biology textbook, and a portable charger with a very long, thick cord).
Perhaps people were right. Anything could be a weapon, it just depends on how you use it.
With silent encouragements, you pulled out the device from your pocket and slowly inched your way towards the guards. You swiftly tased one of them on the neck, spilling empty apologies as you pressed the guard down to the ground before a harsh plunge at your back.
"Sorry," you turned around quickly, bringing the spear with you as the tip was stuck in your schoolbag, "Oh thank god for thick textbooks with hardcovers."
You slammed the Taser down on the guard's wrist before removing it and bring it up to his neck, putting him down quickly. You pulled away from the guard then, your brows furrowed and forehead dripping with sweat.
"Sorry," you said, turning around to face the entrance.
Hyunjin was looking back at you with wide, bewildered eyes. His lips tucked down into a frown and his lips were parted due to genuine shock. It took him a few moments to process the scene, to process the sight of you: your clothing of an unfamiliar style, your shoes of a shiny material he couldn't quite make out, and the fact that their well-trained guards were taken down by a mere peasant just like that.
Hyunjin breathed in gently. Peasant wouldn't be the right word, would it? He's heard people talk about you around the palace, after the daily court meeting. He was not there to witness your abrupt arrival but from all that he has gathered: you didn't sound like—you didn't look like—someone from around this place.
"Dude, look, I'm not going to tase you if you just let me go," you held up your hands in surrender, "Just let me walk away from here, alright? Please."
Hyunjin cleared his throat, unable to fully understand some of the words you were using but he caught onto the idea that you simply wanted to leave without any trouble with him. Fortunately, he was on the same page as you. He was never one to engage in a fight, not to mention with someone who owned unpredictable weapons like you.
He stepped aside, gesturing towards his left, "Don't go through the gate, there are more guards there and you will get caught. Climb over the brick wall in the garden, no one ever goes there."
You squinted your eyes at him, at the questionable kindness that he was showing you. You were pretty sure the whole palace would be talking about you by now, not to be egotistical about this, of course. What made you think anyone would choose to help you escape when almost everyone was alert of your presence (that was supposedly secure inside the cell)?
But Hyunjin didn't look very threatening. His features were far too gentle and gorgeous for you to believe he would have any malice lying around in his head, but then again, you didn't know Princess Deokhye was a bitch until episode ten.
You hummed, your brows furrowed even more at the thought, the wheels of your brain basically running on the logic of historical drama at the moment. Stretching your arm forward, you threateningly zapped the air a few times, startling Hyunjin.
"How do I know you're not lying?" You asked.
"You can't," Hyunjin's eyes darted around the area, not daring to look at you in the eyes. "No one is forcing you to climb the brick wall. You can go through the gates if you want. All I am saying is there is a quieter option for you to leave, you can choose to heed my advice or you don't."
You nodded then, lowering your arms but your eyes still looked at him in caution, "Fine, I'll take it... thank you."
As you walked out of the chamber door, brushing away the sweat that stained your forehead, you could feel Hyunjin's eyes on you. You supposed it was only normal for him to stare, you weren't exactly one of the ordinary sights they see every day, but that didn't mean you weren't weirded out by his curious glance.
You shook your head to put away the thoughts. How Hyunijn was looking at you didn't matter, you would be out of the palace in no time and hopefully find a nicer place to rest your brain so you could think of a way to get out of this timeline. You would never see him again anyway so why bother?
Turning around, you gave yourself some time to collect your thoughts before you started to walk towards the direction Hyunjin had pointed you to. Your mind was too occupied with organizing your thoughts that you didn't see a group of guards heading towards your way, so when Hyunjin suddenly pressed himself to your side, you were startled.
"Hey, what the hell are you–"
"Guards," Hyunjin muttered under his breath as he placed both of his hand on your shoulders, "Walking over here."
He turned when the armored men neared you both. With a casual smile plastered on his face, he motioned towards the guards with a quick nod as they all bowed their heads down politely.
"Good morning, Your Highness," the lead of the group greeted loudly, his firm voice making you jump.
After the brief startlement came surprise. Your Highness? No way, absolutely no way. You called him dude and you pointed a Taser at him. This could only go one of two ways: the prince finds you intriguing because 'you're the first person to ever treat me this way' or the prince hates you and want to immediately execute you.
Even though Hyunjin did point you towards the exit, but you found it hard to have faith in your luck that has literally never treated you well before.
Your eyes widened as you turned your neck to look to Hyunjin, who although appeared to be paying you no attention whatsoever, but was actually reaching out for your hand and giving it a loose squeeze of assurance, his movement drowned out by the long, big sleeve of his outfit.
"Your Highness, why are you with the prisoner? Are they attempting to attack you?"
You instinctively stood behind Hyunjin when the men raised their spears as if ready to engage in a fight. You grimaced with a timid glare, wanting so bad to tell them off but knowing you were at a disadvantage here, you chose to let Hyunjin handle the matter.
"No, actually! I... uh... they are actually a cousin of mine!" Hyunjin clapped his hands together, his polite smile widening in feign excitement. "I forgot they are going to be staying here for a while to visit me and my family so I have come to retrieve them!"
You pursed your lips together as the guards lowered their weapon, finding this situation more amusing than ever. It was a very terrible lie, it would be a terrible lie if it was used in the modern world, but maybe it was what works for them considering how big family relations were back in the days. You could still remember the bitter taste of your tears as you tried your best to cram the important relationships within the palace one night before your history test.
That was horrible. You really thought history can't get any worse until you find yourself experiencing it first hand.
The guard showed no signs of reluctance as he turned to you and quickly ducked his head politely. After a brief moment, he looked back up at Hyunjin and gestured towards the court area of the palace.
"We need to inform your father about this, Your Highness. We have been appointed to keep an eye on them especially," he nodded towards you, "If they are to be released, we need to inform the king about this, or else we will have to put them back in the cell. Please understand that it is the king's order, Your Highness."
"What?" You scoffed, your brows furrowing as you peeked over Hyunjin's shoulder, "Am I that threatening or is your dad a wuss?"
You glanced at him for a moment, preparing to repeat the word only to remember no matter how many times you say it, he wasn't going to understand you. So you only rolled your eyes and stepped out from behind Hyunjin, crossing your arms menacingly at the guards.
"Fine, take me to the court," you shrugged before turning to face Hyunjin, who was eyeing you with heavy reluctance. You mocked a courtesy his way, watching his expression morph into one of confusion, "Come on, Your Highness, let's go."
This might be a better way for you to get out of the palace any moment you want, telling everyone that Hyunjin was a cousin of yours and thus establishing a relation to royalty. All you have to do is lie your ass off in the court, which would not be a problem at all, you've been lying your whole life to get away from trouble and to sneak your friends out of their house when needed.
This? Easy peasy.
This was not easy peasy.
You liked to pride yourself in lying well even with the lack of crucial information and you liked to believe you were pretty good at improvising, thanks to theatre club, but this interrogation where pairs of eyes stared at you curiously and condescendingly was making you shiver.
You weren't exactly afraid (although you have to admit you were a little bit intimidated), you just didn't want to mess anything up. And if you could, you would very much like to slap the lady sitting next to one of the princes who continuously gave you the gross eyes whenever you looked around the grand place.
It wasn't that big, probably the size of your school hall, but the red and gold decorations were over the top in your opinion.
"My fourth son."
You glanced at Hyunjin as he knelt down to greet his father, your mouth tucking down both at the formality he was displaying and the fact that his father addressed him as if Hyunjin was some distant relative he only saw twice a year.
You knew it was the custom back in the day, to show absolute respect for higher status people by doing the most unnecessary gestures. And to be truthful, you never liked the way the unfair system ran back in the days, so you chose not to follow Hyunjin's action and instead stood on your ground as you reminded yourself that your worst-case scenario would be a public execution that doesn't actually kill you.
Hyunjin slightly looked to the side to find your feet still stomped solidly on the floor, and he finally looked up. He reached out to give your ankle a smack, hissing out quietly, "Bow down."
"Why? He wasn't talking to me, he was talking to you," you mumbled down at him, shaking his hand off with a kick before returning your attention to the courtroom, still trying to take in the sight of everything—from the people to the architecture.
With a fearful click of his tongue, Hyunjin quickly stood back up. His eyes darted between his father and his brothers, who were all looking at you with curiosity and wariness in their eyes as they whispered among themselves about most possibly your relationship with Hyunjin, and he breathed out an exhale to contain himself.
This was no time to be afraid, no time for him to let his emotion waver. Hyunjin was sure you weren't anyone particularly threatening, so long as no one attempts to start an attack at least. And he would hate to mess up and end up having huge responsibilities on his shoulder, especially not when his household held the least status in the palace.
Not many people would be on his side then.
The King breathed in deep, feeling the rage rile up from your disrespectful behavior but it was the simple intrigue regarding your unique being that urged him to suppress his current feelings to further access the situation before he makes a judgment.
And the King, as did most people in the room, found it extremely surprising when he only adjusted his already rigid posture. Curling his fists tighter on his knees as he spoke with an authoritative voice, "Explain to me what you think you are doing, my son."
Hyunjin cleared his throat then, tentatively stepping up with his hands clamped together in front of him. You frowned at the constant bow that lingered on his back as he spoke, it took you everything to not smack his arched back up straight again.
Awkwardly, he gestured towards you with his timid hands, "There seems to be a misunderstanding, Your Majesty. They... they are actually a very distant cousin of mine who is stopping by to visit me for a while. They are not anyone hostile or anyone to be aware of."
The King sized you up from the comfort of his throne for a little before he asked, his question directed towards you, "If that is true then what is his name?"
Hyunjin tensed up next to you, his breath hitching in his throat and his hands fumbling with themselves as he tried his best not to glance nervously to your side. The ball of anxiousness ceased to bounce around in his head when you, after a short period of contemplation where you practically squeezed your brain for all the names of the princes you could think of, gave out an airy laugh.
With your chest out, shoulders back, and an almost exaggerated amount of hand gestures pairing with the right amount of big confusing words that both your theatre club president and your argumentative essays had drilled into you all those times, you spoke up with fake confidence.
Let's just hope to God you would get the dynasty timeline correct this time. You were never that good with matching timelines in your tests, but on your defense, your teacher was a little bit of a jerk when it came to creating questions.
"Your Majesty, with all due respect, I think your question is a little moronic. Also, I find your lack of faith in your son very troubling, I don't see why you can't simply trust him when he told you I am a distant relative of his," you said with a few shakes of your head and some creases at the corner of your eyes, "But if you must know–yes, I do know his name, I know all of your sons' name. I can name them off right now."
You turned to your side, one arm stretched out as you pointed vaguely at the group of boys sitting at the side, all dressed in colorful fabric with detailed patterns. "We have Chan, Minho, Changbin–"
Hyunjin coughed loudly for a moment to interrupt you despite the palpitating of his heart.
He wasn't sure if his heart could take this much more, this emotional rollercoaster of him being nervous about your informality towards literally every royalty to ever walk the surface of this palace, to him being in utter confusion at the fact that you knew all of them and you spoke in a wording that he could not fully understand.
If you were dressed in a more normal, peasant styled clothing, he would not have been as bewildered as he was now. But you weren't. You were from a faraway place and he supposed the fact that you knew of his family and him should cause some awareness within him.
Quickly snapping out of his thoughts, Hyunjin reached his hand out of cover his mouth as he eyed you with a look, catching on to the fact that you were purposefully naming off his siblings in age order, which was another shocker.
You smiled inwardly, moving your hand and resting it on Hyunjin's shoulder in such a friendly manner that made the room gasp in disbelief. "Hyunjin, my distant cousin, of course," you said with a bow of your head, "And the rest are, I believe Hyunjin had told me before, Jisung, Yongbok, Seungmin, and Jeongin."
After your dramatic speech, you smiled triumphantly at the King as you leaned your weight against Hyunjin's side, completely disregarding the eyes of all the royal staffs.
Hyunjin cleared his throat and stepped away from you a bit, he didn't dare to look at his father when he spoke, "Please believe in me, Your Majesty. They are a distant cousin of mine and they have stopped their traveling to visit my family for a while. They will not be bothering for a long time."
The King stared at you both for a long time before he spoke, his voice still loud and strong but you could hear the lessening of his alertness in it. When he spoke, he looked directly at you and the corner of his lips quirked up as if finding amusement in your complete ignorance to his high status, "Where did you travel to..."
"The name's (Name), my frien–Your Majesty," you rolled out your corrections quickly, your eyes squinting in the realization that calling the King a friend would possibly—would definitely—be crossing a line, "And I came here from... the Neverland."
"Yes, Your Majesty," you said, "It is a very interesting place, I have to say. There is no map for it, the only direction given to me before I started my journey to find the enchanted treasure in Neverland is that I absolutely have to follow the second star to the right. Not the first star, not to the left. The second star to the right."
The King laughed, "But that is impossible. There are millions of stars in the sky, which star is the direction pointed to?"
"Oh, nothing is impossible with a little bit of knowledge, Your Majesty," you said, finding nothing but joy in your nonsense blabber that everyone seemed to be putting their utmost seriousness in. You reached in from your pocket and pulled out your Taser, pulling it away from your face and giving it a light zap of lighting.
"If it is impossible, how else can you explain this treasure? It holds the power of thunder, only I can wield it, as the God told me when I arrived at the Neverland," you said, smiling in a strange way to keep yourself from bursting into laughter.
The King sat back against his throne, a thoroughly entertained and satisfied expression on his face. The interested faces of everyone made the little ego inside of your chest burst into a million light.
Fine. Maybe it was a little easy peasy.
You breathed out a sigh of relief then, motioning towards Hyunjin, "If you could, Your Majesty, I would like to be excused so I can catch up with my cousin."
Hyunjin felt a nudge on his shoulder and it was only then when he realized that he hadn't been paying much attention to his surroundings. He was staring at you the whole time, just like everyone else in the courtroom.
Maybe it was just him but there was something about the way you carry yourself, something about the beaming of your aura that felt different than most people he counters in this palace. It was something quite brilliant and incomparable, not even the noblemen or the royalties, he thought.
Something one of a kind.
"Let's go," you urged, waving your hand at him with a bright smile.
Something peculiar, but in a good way, he supposed.
Hyunjin brought you to the back of the palace. He let you guide him out the courtroom and mindlessly roamed around for a while before he spoke up about the fact that you had absolutely no idea where you were going so he should really be the one leading the way.
He led you to the back yard, where he told you that the place was mostly used for hanging up washed laundry so it was more of a working place for the maids than a playground for the royalties. But when the maids finished drying the clothes and sheets and after they collected them, it usually takes a couple of days before the cycle starts again.
Hyunjin loved the tranquility during those days when nobody comes around the yard and he could have the area all to himself, free to do whatever he wants.
You placed your backpack next to you as you sat down cross-legged beside Hyunjin, under a giant tree and hiding perfectly in the shade. You licked your lower lip in thought as you scanned the yard observantly. Aside from the big tree the two of you were sitting under, there wasn't much going on, but you supposed no one thought to make a working place any prettier than it should be. Even though a few more pots of flowers would be nice.
"This is Goryeo, right?" You asked, turning to look at him with a knowing expression.
Hyunjin nodded slowly, his head going in a way as if his action was stuttering. That was weird, he thought you already knew?
"I know about this place, I've seen it on television before," you commented, waving at the scenery in front of you, if you could call the dull concrete floor that. The only thing doing this place a justice was the sunlight and the gentle breeze, other than that it was all mosquitoes and hot humid air that you could not endure. "I gotta say, the fake sets are so much prettier than this."
Hyunjin tilted his head to the side, trying to pronounce the unfamiliar word. He felt as if he was back in the younger days when he first started to learn how to read and write and it felt both humiliating and refreshing.
You blinked at him, watching as he attempted at the loaned word that people have gotten so used to saying in your time. An amused smile crept up your face as you stopped him with a pause of your hand. You pointed at your mouth then, "Repeat after me, Hyunjin. Tele, vision, television."
"Television," he wobbled the word out carefully, nodding adorably at each syllable. "Television! What is it?"
You clapped with a small cheer before leaning over to him. "Oh, now that you ask me to explain it... let me think," you hummed, "It's a thing, a square or rectangular screen–ah, you probably don't know what screen is either... oh damn, this is hard. How about I show you?"
Hyunjin watched as you reach over to your bag and unzipped it. He tried to sit up a little to peer inside the things you own but you had already pulled out your phone and pressed the lid close. When you turned to him, Hyunjin immediately relaxed his shoulders to make it look like he hadn't been noisy at all.
"Look at this, this is a smartphone and it's basically a television. If you have wifi that is..." You pressed the home button and the screen lit up, showing the clock in the middle and a mirror picture of you and your best friend in the school restroom.
Hyunjin gasped, moving away but quickly moving back to stare closely at the screen. He pointed at the screen and pointed at you, "Why are you in there?"
You laughed, "This is a picture. Oh, let's take a selfie. A selfie is when you take a picture of yourself from a camera, a camera..." You squinted your eyes as you thought of a better translation than 'taking a picture,' "...is a devi–a thing that collects the real-life scenery, kind of like a mirror."
You held up your phone after sliding up the camera and held it in front of your face. Brushing a part of your hair out, you leaned towards Hyunjin to show him the screen, and by this point, you weren't even as amused as before when he acted amazed at modern technology. If anything, it felt more like teaching your grandparents how to use the internet.
"Hold still and smile, Hyunjin," You said, placing a hand on his shoulder to keep him from moving and trying to poke your phone.
You quickly snapped several pictures and went to your gallery. It took Hyunjin the fourth picture to finally smile up at the camera, the ones before were simply of him displaying complete confusion towards the idea of capturing still image. Smiling down at your phone, your brows slowly furrowed as your fingers moved across your screen in a back and forth motion several times.
A thoughtful hum fell from your lips as you held your phone up to his face after a moment, comparing Hyunjin to a picture you had stored in your gallery. You glanced at him and at the picture, your brows slowly relaxing as your face molded into approval.
Hyunjin looked... unexpectedly good, so good you almost wanted to beat yourself up for realizing it just now. Surely, his hairstyle and his clothes were not of your taste at all, but he's got a pair of naturally soft eyes, well-shaped brows, and full lips. You thought if you could just cut his hair and put him in something casual, he would look phenomenal.
"Shit, you look almost as good as Kim Taehyung... if not better looking... hold on," you muttered under your breath before moving over, moving away the hair that flails about the side of his face and sliding your hand under his bangs, puffing them up.
You nodded then, not even trying to hide the fact that you had been checking him out, "Damn, wouldn't you look good in a headband?"
Hyunjin felt the shyness creep up his cheeks upon your careless action, touching his face and all that, and he thought maybe this was the way people were from your place. He was too tensed up to pull himself away from your touch so instead, he let you continue to mutter suggestions under your breath.
"Um... where are you from... (Name)?" He tested your name at the tip of his tongue, watching carefully to see if you would be okay with him addressing you by name even though it was what you had been doing the whole time you've met him.
"Me? Well, technically speaking, I am from here," you removed your hand and leaned back a little, putting a hand on your chin as your eyes rolled skyward to think, "But I'm am from about a thousand years after this time, a long long time after Goryeo."
Hyunjin stared at you in disbelief, you could see the questions behind his eyes, but something about the deliberate way he spoke made you think he was trying to believe in what you were saying.
"You can't say that here," he said urgently, waving his hand at you with his eyes wide, "That implies the death of the King, those implications aren't allowed anywhere in the country."
You frowned, "He is going to die regardless of what we say or don't say. He can't live forever, Hyunjin, no one can. Trust me, you can only find him in the museum or on the internet in the future."
You waved a hand at him when he opened his mouth, assuming he was going to ask you about the foreign vocabularies that you have once again spilled from your mouth.
Hyunjin pursed his lips together then, his shoulders slumping in defeat when he had finally come to a conclusion that you won't be directly following the rules here as you please. You had already disrespected the King and his siblings an enough amount to get yourself back in the dungeon with several whip stain on your back. It was a miracle that you left the courtroom safe and sound.
He wasn't as uptight about the way you treated him, like an old friend, like you two were equal. If anything, he quite liked the realness aura that came from you, a kind of confidence that came from being sure of who you were and choosing not to let outside sources affect you. He quite admired it, really.
But that didn't stop him from being afraid of the things that could happen to you if you do cross the line. He wouldn't be able to save you then, his siblings might be able to but not him.
Pushing his thoughts aside, Hyunjin pointed towards your side and asked something more light-hearted, "What are you going to do, if you really are from the future?"
"I am from the future, Hyunjin," you sighed, looking up at the sky in thoughts.
You could remember exactly what happened before you suddenly regained your consciousness that you didn't realize you lost and found yourself among a crowd of royalty from the past. You were heading to school early in the morning, extra early because you needed to help prepare the stage set up for the school's summer assembly day, where all clubs join together and they either perform something or they run a game stand in the soccer field outside the school.
But that was it.
You were simply heading to school. You did your morning routine, you grabbed everything and rushed out of home, went on a bus, got off, and half-way through walking towards the gate, you were gone. There weren't any connections for you to make, unlike most fiction you've encountered where time travels as these happen in almost identical situations, like a car crash or a falling star.
Hyunjin pouted when you shrugged, shaking your head with a tired hum.
"I don't know, Hyunjin," you replied mindlessly, "Maybe I will have to stay here until I die, which I hope to God I don't. But I don't know why I am here so I don't think there is any potential way for me to go back."
He pressed his lips together then, "Hey, it isn't that bad here."
"I am a gen Z kid, Hyunjin, a life without air-conditioning and the internet will kill me," you said, your tone mocking the way you have heard adults complain about the destruction from technology.
Turning to him, you smiled a little, "I wish you know what air-conditioner is. That machine is heaven sent, I promise. It sucks air in and blows off cold wind to cool down the room."
"Like a paper fan?" Hyunjin tilted his head to the side.
You nodded, doing hand gestures in the air as if it could make the mental image more vivid to him, "Yeah, except it is strong and it doesn't run by human hands. It runs by batteries that cause it to move on its own."
"That sounds... unrealistic," Hyunjin frowned.
You looked at him then, your gaze soft in relaxation and your smile faint. The uncomfortable humidity of the air no longer fazed you, although you would still very much like to take off your hoodie and run a cold bath.
Hyunjin's company was calming and you enjoyed his presence. It could partially be his dashing good looks but you thought it was mostly the tender curiosity and kindness that surrounded him.
You could feel it on him, somehow.
"It does, doesn't it?" You said, dragging out your words slowly and your voice trailing off at the end of the sentence.
Hyunjin fought back the blush that was slowly touching up his cheeks upon your thoughtful stare. He looked away at the far concrete wall, cleaning his throat, "Well, like I said, Goryeo isn't that bad."
You grinned at his adorableness. It is rare for someone like that to come along, and when they do, you try not to let them go.
"Hyunjin, I'm going to lean on you, okay?" You called him, placing a hand on his shoulder as a heads up before you slowly scooted over to sit closer to him.
He gulped when you placed your head on his shoulder nonchalantly but he found himself relaxing slowly at your steady breathing.
"Thank you for saving my ass," you muttered, "I really would have gone the other way and gotten myself into more trouble."
"It's fine," he replied, staring off into a distance the way you were. "You don't know much about this place anyway. It is probably really hard to be so far away... a thousand years."
You chuckled under your breath, nodding wordlessly instead of choosing to answer with your voice. This silent peace was something you didn't want to disrupt. It gave you a chance to clear your head and to rest securely against someone at the same time, it was what you needed after putting on a front and pushing aside the reality that had set itself before your eyes.
"I... I can take you out to town tomorrow. I can show you around a little, to get familiar with Goryeo," Hyunjin suggested cheerfully, "There are a lot of good things here too."
"Okay," was your answer after a long moment of pause.
The soft wind blew at your face, making your eyes squint a little. But you felt the weight of your worries lift off your heavy heart gently, one by one, chunk by chunk, as you unconsciously leaned yourself heavier against Hyunjin, who surprisingly did not protest.
What more could you do? You were already here. Perhaps there was no harm in staying for a while before you find yourself a gateway out of here. Perhaps this was an escape, a gateway out of your busy school life.
And you were certain that you would gladly try to enjoy your stay here if Hyunjin was the one who would guide you through this place.
You found your neck aching the next morning. The wooden pillow really wasn't the best thing for you to lay your head on, you had realized that in the middle of the night after you tossed and turned around for a bit. You did result in replacing it with your arm and then your folded hoodie, did the damage to your weak bone appeared to already be done.
Rolling your head side to side, you sniffed at the cold weather in the early morning (you weren't able to tell the time, your phone was wrong most likely, but if you had to guess you would say it was around school time) as you spread out your hoodie and put it over your head to warm yourself up. Your eyes were barely open as you stepped down the flight of stone stairs to the outside of the room prepared for you the night before.
Reaching into your schoolbag—you have decided to bring it everywhere with you—you stuck your hand into the small pocket and pulled out a few pieces of mint chocolate you selfishly took too many amounts of in the front of a restaurant.
You moaned in delight when you popped one in your mouth and tasted the melting chocolate on your tongue. Nodding in approval, you played around with the pieces in your palm as you mindlessly looked ahead of you again, just staring at the architecture of Hyunjin's home you didn't get the chance to observe during the night.
Hyunjin's house was abnormally big but you supposed that would only make sense since he was a prince. This amount was probably nothing much compared to the whole entire palace. The structure was not something you were used to seeing, only occasionally when you pass by the public palace back in your days.
You breathed out a soft sigh as reality hit you like a truck again. A bad night sleep didn't put you back to where you belong, this was really happening, you really did time travel.
You jumped slightly at the sudden appearance of his voice. Pressing a quick hand to your chest, you stepped aside to find Hyunjin looking at you with no trace of exhaustion in his face. It was like he woke up ages ago.
"You look chirpy," you laughed before you rolled your eyes, remembering how the morning went for you this day. "Like those fucking birds at five am."
Your eyes were wide open for a good full minute and you really thought you could drive yourself to insanity with the company of what sounded like millions of birds arguing outside your room, just shrieking at each other.
"Oh yes, the birds here are very loud in the morning. They wake us up, " he nodded, choosing to ignore your obviously very irritated state, "Don't you have birds back in your day?"
"We do, but I live in an apartment building. My home is all the way up in the thirtieth floor, there are no birds chirping at that height!" You groaned in annoyance, popping another mint chocolate into your mouth, "Besides, we have alarm clocks. But that doesn't work now since I'm not sure if the time is right."
"Telling time? You guys are able to do that in the future?"
"What? Oh, yeah. We have clocks that move every second and keeps track of the days and nights." You said, glancing at his weirded out but also focused expression, completely engaged in your explanation the way he was yesterday. You lightly smiled, glad that he was listening despite the full-blown confusion in his head.
You unpeeled a mint chocolate piece and held it to his mouth, urging him to eat it. Hyunjin showed a sign of reluctance at first but seeing that you were happily munching on yours, he supposed it should be fine. After he took the piece in his mouth, you placed the remaining pieces in your pocket and turned both of you towards the sky.
"There is a way to tell time without a clock, you can use your hand," you said, holding up one palm, "One palm is one hour, and the fingers are fifteen minutes. You just have to stack them up to count how long it is until the sun comes down."
Hyunjin hummed, nodding without really listening to you. The mint chocolate was melting deliciously on his tongue and he was trying to savor the taste by gently sucking on the piece, but it was melting way too fast for him.
You turned to him, seeing his squinted eyes and moving lips and immediately knowing that he liked the chocolate. You let your arms fall to your side as a funny laugh escaped your lips, "Do you want more chocolate?"
Hyunjin looked at you briefly, his eyes unwavering as he gulped down the taste. He later nodded, his eyes round and child-like, "Yes, please. I would like some more... choco–late... chocolate. What are those words? Television, chocolate, handphone?"
"Those are loan words, they are from the English language," you replied with a gentle pat on his shoulder. You opened your palm to display one piece of chocolate and his eyes sparkled like never before, quickly snatching it away and popping it into his mouth.
You giggled when he moaned in content, watching his amazing reactions to something so normal in your days. The way his eyes animatedly move sent you little tingles down your chest, a refreshing kind of feeling like when you were talking about something you were passionate about. It was something you would like to feel more, so you had an idea.
"I have something to show you," you said, snapping your fingers.
Hyunjin glanced over at you, the way your eyes crinkled told him you were planning something in your head. He swallowed before he asked, "What?"
"Cup ramen," you replied, "I happen to have one in my bag. Just one though."
He licked his lower lip, blinking at you as he repeated the word under his breath. Anything you wanted to show him would be good, good and different, he had a thought. And he was excited about this cup ramen you were talking about.
"Is it as good as chocolate?" He asked in a whisper as if trying to keep the secret down so no one else but he gets to enjoy the goods from the future.
You widened your eyes confidently, "No, Hyunjin. It's better."
A smile slowly spread across his face, an excited smile. And when you beckoned him to follow you, he really thought he would keep you a secret from everyone else if he could.
Hyunjin practically hogged the whole cup and for a moment you thought you were going to be mad at him for finishing the only instant ramen you bought with you without leaving you even a drop. But you didn't, you were far from mad, having your heart once again pulled in by the delighted aura of him as he tasted the unique food in his hand.
You two were hunched together in the small corner of the empty kitchen after the maids brought the food out to serve the royalties. You watched him slurp the noodle with a small, lovely pout, feeling your worries dissolve away again at each hum he made.
Hyunjin's delight made you feel delighted too, even though it was over the smallest thing like trying out a cup noodle.
"That was heaven," he complimented for the hundredth time as you two stomped out the kitchen together, him with a full stomach and you with a fulfilled heart.
You grinned, nodding in agreement, "I know right?"
Hyunjin sighed contently, a constant smile lit on his face. He was so preoccupied with the brand new heaven-sent food you showed him that he almost forgot about the lunchtime you didn't have. As the realization hit him, he quickly paused and turned to you, concern etched in his voice as he spoke, "Wait, what about you, (Name)?"
Ah, it rolled off his tongue so easily. How great.
"What about me?"
"I ate your food! Oh no," he looked around, "I will have the kitchen cook something for you right now. Just give me a second!"
You put a hand on his arm when he seemed to have hiked up his lengthy hanbok, all ready to head back to the bedroom area to find a kitchen maid. You shook your head upon his hurried expression, waving your hand dismissively to signal that you were fine.
"Don't worry about it. How about we head out to town and see if I can grab something from there?" You suggested, jabbing your thumb towards wherever direction since you still haven't gotten yourself familiarized around this place. "You did say you are going to show me around town."
Hyunjin pursed his lips together, unable to understand why you would choose to eat peasant food rather than the meals prepared by the best ingredients provided within the palace, but he supposed it was one of the weird traditions you futuristic people have. He nodded then, a soft agreement coming out of his mouth.
"I will just change into something plainer and grab a bag of gold, then we can head out," he said casually, finding the quick change of your expression disheartening. "Wha–what, what did I say?"
Your neutral face of contemplation slowly turned into a smile, a somewhat satisfied and somewhat envious smile.
For one, the fact that Hyunjin could just grab a bag of gold whenever he wants was the kind of life you strive for in the future (the future of the future, in the setting you were in). Second, the fact that Hyunjin was grabbing a bag of gold so he could bring you around town, essentially meaning he was getting a whole chunk of money for you, was very... very attractive.
You couldn't believe it took you a time travel accident and a whole lot of confusion to finally have someone take you out and buy you a meal.
"You said something very good to me," you said, "I can't believe you would be the one to say it to me but well, I will take whatever I can get."
"What nice thing did I say?" Hyunjin pressed on when you started to walk ahead of him, even after you have chosen to ignore him the first few times.
You rolled your eyes at his consistency, hiding a playful smile behind your clenched jaw. Turning to him, you tilted your head to the side bashfully, "You know this is kind of like a date, right?"
"Yeah, when two people hang out with each other for a day," you said, "It can be romantically or friendly, and I will take both really."
"Romantic–romantically?" Hyunjin stuttered, his fingers finding each other quickly at the front.
“Yeah, like lovers.”
You furrowed your eyebrows at him as he seemed to choke up a little. He had done this an awful lot since you met him. Every time you did anything remotely boundary-breaking, like staring at him for a little longer than normal or leaning just a little closer to listen to him talk, he would blush and act all ankle twisting kind of shy.
You couldn't tell if it was due to the social norms between people around here and you friendly antics were out of the ordinary or because Hyunjin liked you, a crush if you may.
You usually swatted away the latter since it made less sense than the first option.
"Yeah, but this is more friendly, Hyunjin," you confirmed, circling a finger between you and him, "Because we are friends."
Hyunjin slowly nodded, "Yeah, I know."
"What do you know, Hyunjin?"
You turned your head to the newcomer, a light-headed and easy-going voice that stepped in from the side. A boy slowly made his way over with a smirk on his face and twinkles in his eyes, when he approached you two, his smile widened.
"Good morning, hyung-nim," Hyunjin greeted, bowing his head a little.
You stared curiously at him, letting this features sink in. His hairstyle was different than Hyunjin's, his was tied up into a topknot, perfectly displaying his forehead and eyebrows that made you felt just a little more self-conscious about your eyes. His eyes were sharp and alert, with only small flashes of casualness inside them that if you weren't paying attention, you would completely miss it.
"What's your name?" You asked, squinting up at him.
Hyunjin cleared his throat quickly, nudging the side of your arm.
Your brows were furrowed now, "You look like a Minho."
Hyunjin once again cleared his throat, but this time he leaned close to your ear and he spoke lowly, "That is because his name is Minho. But you are not supposed to address him that way."
"I am not supposed to address anyone the way I did here, Hyunjin, you think I don't already know that?" You said as you slapped at Hyunjin's belly, not looking at him as you kept your eyes focused on Minho, who stared back at you challengingly.
"They call you by your name, Hyunjin," Minho pointed out, his voice leveled and calm.
Hyunjin only nodded, unable to reply to the statement. You felt a small knot at your throat when you saw the way Hyunjin acted—respectful but timid. Eyeing Minho quickly and turning your attention back to Hyunjin, your mind tried to cultivate a small relationship map as much as it could from memory, trying to see where Minho stood in the food chain within this palace.
And you were upset, very upset.
"Hell yeah I do," you spoke in place of him then, putting a hand in front of Hyunjin defensively as you stepped up to look at Minho in the way. "We are friends, so it is only normal I call him by his name. It doesn't sound as estranged as the way everyone treats each other here."
Minho raised his eyebrows and you had thought he was surprised at the way you reacted to him, but it appeared to be something else.
"Friends?" He asked, "I thought you two were cousins."
You cursed under your breath, flinging your head to the side slightly at the simple mistake you made. Minho took the chance to move closer boldly, perhaps to exude intimidation, and he only stopped when the tip of his nose was inches away from yours. And when you finally turned your attention back to him, your breath hitched in your nose.
"What are you hiding?" Minho asked slowly.
You pursed your lips then, not letting yourself act on the quivering of your heart. "What I am hiding is none of your concern, Your Highness," you said, pulling your hand out from your pocket and pressed the side of your phone against his chin, pushing him away slowly, "And I would appreciate it if you don't act as if we're close and burst my personal bubble."
Minho only displayed a moment of confusion towards the words you said before he regained his posture. Hyunjin quickly pulled you back so he could grab Minho's attention instead. His smile was careful when he looked at his older brother, his hands rubbed together anxiously due to the tense encounter between you and Minho.
"I'm sorry about my cousin, Neverland is a very different place," Hyunjin said, ignoring the way you snorted behind him. "Anyway, I am about to head out to town with them, to show them around. So if you will excuse us–"
"Let me come along," Minho cut in casually, "I haven't been out in a long time either so let's head out together."
"No," you let out a strangled noise from your back, exclaiming your protest, "This is supposed to be a date, it only involves two people! Only me and Hyunjin."
"A da–date? What is that?" Minho furrowed his brows, glancing up at Hyunjin, who was unable to answer for a moment upon your sudden act of defense.
You opened your mouth and then closed it quickly, feeling your eyes tear up a little.
You were suddenly feeling a hurdle of emotions. Exhausted from all the explaining you have been doing and confused with this whole time traveling situation. Not only those, but it had also just come to you that you might have overreacted with Minho, completely left a bad impression there. And you were feeling kind of homesick, yearning for the comfort of your own bed and some good snacks in your home's kitchen cabinet.
You breathed out a gentle croak of breath as you turned away from the two princes, pursing your lips and clenching your teeth to shut yourself up as you looked up at the sky to prevent the urgent tears from falling.
Hyunjin's lips parted but he couldn't find the right words to say. What could he possibly tell you? He didn't even know what you were really upset about, and so what if he did? What could he possibly do when he knew nothing of your futuristic mindset?
When he reached out to touch your shoulder, hoping to send some reassurance to you the way you do to him whenever you laid your hand on his arm, you turned around with a smile.
You turned to Minho, an unwilling look on your face as you ducked your head. "I'm sorry for what I just did. I was overreacting," you raised your head up again and reached out your hand, "Let's start over. My name is (Name) and I am Hyunjin's distant cousin. I would like to be friends with you, Your Highness."
Minho stared at your hand for a while, not sure what you were doing. You hummed then, remembering they hadn't invented the art of handshaking, so you reached in and took his hand voluntarily.
You waved your joined hands up and down slightly, finally breaking into a genuine smile, "This is the Neverland way to greeting someone, we shake hands with each other, Your Highness."
Minho looked at your joined hands for a moment before he laughed, his expression relaxing for the first time. When you pulled away and went to stand by Hyunjin, he placed his hand behind his back again and nodded in acknowledgment at you.
"You... you can call me Minho," he said, "Since that is the way you Neverland people did it."
You hummed. And as you and Minho smiled freely at each other, Hyunjin felt a knot in his chest that he couldn't shake off. It has happened before, multiple times, he just wasn't sure why it was happening with you.
He only knew he wanted to keep you to himself, as chaste as his feelings for you were.
The town at night was as hectic as you expected it to be. All those montages of the main character walking around the brightly lit town, eating steamy buns and playing around with little trinkets was ultimately a scene that would happen if anyone ever time travels back to the older days.
The only unrealistic thing was the fact that all it took was a one-minute montage of them laughing and looking around to get used to the timeline they got sent to and, well, the time traveling.
For a while, perhaps about an hour long you believed, you weren't thinking much about going back home and you actually took the chance to let yourself experience the beauty of the welcoming atmosphere among what everyone called peasants. Despite your unusual clothing and hairstyle, they didn't seem to discriminate you so much and treated you well as they would any other people.
Oh, right, one more thing you noted: clothing changes were, as a matter of fact, enough to conceal the princes' identity. Unbelievable because they still look the way they do, but no one seemed to have noticed.
Or maybe they did, but they chose to not point it out.
All in all, the feeling in the buzzing town was much better than that of the cold, stoic palace where everyone was rigid and, sadly to say, boring. You would much rather leave the palace if not for your casual friendship with Hyunjin (and possibly Minho, who had a huge change of attitude as you three marched your way down the road).
"This," you held up the steam bun that you took a big bite of, "This is great. I did not know I would like it this much but Jesus, this is good. Is this like, the shit of this century or something?"
"The... the what?" Hyunjin asked, sharing a look with Minho.
You took another bite and with the food still in your mouth, you explained, "The shit, it means when something is the best, high quality! Like... when I say 'Hyunjin, you're the shit!' It means I think you are the best."
Hyunjin laughed, his eyes shaping into little moons when you skipped over to his side and circled your arm around his with a laugh escaping your lips. With a small but cheesy voice, you spoke with a small nudge to his arm, "And I do think you're the best."
He laughed, feeling an unknown relief erupting from his chest, but the moment was fleeting as Minho, after a second later as you three approached the palace entrance, reached out for your hand and quickly yanked you away from him and to his side instead.
Both you and Hyunjin were startled by his sudden behavior, but Hyunjin for a brief moment because the bewilderment had shifted in his eyes so quickly you almost didn't catch it. Hyunjin's fist curled at his side as he furrowed his brows at Minho, who had you pinned next to him as he still hadn't let go of your wrist, and finally understood where the chest tightening feeling came from.
It wasn't all jealousy, of course there was jealousy too, but it was also... newfound competitiveness.
For the first time, Hyunjin had gotten something, someone, first. For the first time, he was on top of someone's priority list, he was the person to rely on. For the first time, he wasn't in his brothers' shadow.
And now Minho was planning to snatch that away from him, the way he unknowingly snatches everything away from him, all just because his mother was the official queen.
He loved his brothers, surely, but Hyunjin wasn't going to lie when he said watching you push Minho away in your first encounter was one of the best things he has ever witnessed.
Minho glanced tensely to the side, at the palace entrance, and back at Hyunjin, "Princess Deokhye."
Hearing the familiar name, you turned over to look at where Minho was just intensely looking at. You found a carriage right in front of the palace and a few people standing next to the horses. A girl dressed in colorful clothing and styled with multiple jewelry pins in her hair stood before another girl in plain clothing.
You widened your eyes in realization. A princess, of course, but you didn't know which one that was in actual history (you did know that she was a bitch in the drama though, but let's not let that affect your point of view).
Adverting your gaze to Hyunjin, who had tensed up quickly at the mention of her name, your brows raised even more than before and you let out a soft, knowing noise that soon turned into a small excited squeal.
"Hyunjin!" You hissed out, moving only a little away from Minho and letting him hold on to you now that you knew what he was trying to do (having you hold onto Hyunjin like that would not be the best way to show that he is available). "Hyunjin, you like her? And your stupid ass didn't tell me!"
"Why would I tell you who I like?"
"So you do like her! Oh my god, you–friends tell each other things like that so we can make fun of each other!" You hadn't realized you were raising your voice until Deokhye had walked over and spoke in a more mellow tone, a more gentle and level-headed voice in complete contrast to yours.
She had a permanent polite smile on her face that, with your experience, easily passed off as unwilling to you. It was the kind of smile literally every child makes when they have to talk to a relative they only see once every New Year—bored, unhappy, doesn't want to be there.
She greeted Hyunjin with a small bow before turning to Minho. The slight flicker in the color of her eyes, even though it was only for one second, was what made you gasp. You knew what that look was, you knew what that moment of flicker was, and you were dying inside to keep yourself steady.
Princess Deokhye likes Minho.
Looking down at his hand that still held your wrist and back up at Deokhye's deeply irritated gaze that you just knew wasn't because of your unusual appearances, you breathed out a heavy sigh. This wasn't what you wanted. Hell no, not this love triangle shit, not at this time when you could be beheaded with a wave of the King's hand.
"Minho, my friend, my very good friend," you started suddenly, prying your hand away from his grip with the most forceful laugh you have possibly ever mustered as you moved away from both confused princes. You pointed at Minho with finger guns, "You're my friend, just plain old good friend. A great buddy, best bros!"
"What are they up to now?" Minho asked, holding his hand up to mimic your hand gesture. He raised his hand up high then, "Hey! (Name)! You're going the wrong way!"
"Shut up, Minho! Shut up!" You yelled as you stopped abruptly and turned back around to march your way inside the palace, the guards quickly letting you in after the incident of you miraculously knocking two of their people unconscious (their two friends might have exaggerated a little).
Deokhye glanced after you with a huff hanging by her nose before she turned back to Minho, a smile quick gracing her lips, "Who is that?"
"Oh, they are Hyunjin's cousin," Minho replied, watching the spot where you disappeared from his sight with utter amusement, "A very interesting person, I can't understand them."
Deokhye breathed out a laugh that sounded more like a scoff than anything, eyeing Minho carefully with a hint of malice that was meant for no one else but you. She gently leaned in to touch Minho's arm, "You know what they say. Things that you can't understand are dangerous, Your Highness."
Minho looked down at her, a shrug on his shoulders, "I suppose. But they're my friend, I am sure they're fine."
Hyunjin licked his lower lip in defeat, lowering his head to glance at the ground as he got completely left out.
Yeah, well, what did he expect. If he couldn't even gain the interest of someone of his own era, what made him think he could keep someone like you who came from a much more advanced place?
Of course he wasn't in the eyes of anyone. Not Deokhye, and certainly not you.
Hyunjin found you waiting behind the wall by the gate after he left Minho and Deokhye outside the palace. When you smiled at him, he only returned the greeting with a curt nod before he sped past you. You didn't think much of it and simply trailed after him.
You two finally arrived back to the household area after a slow walk through the palace ground, but instead of heading back to your room, you decide to follow Hyunjin back to his instead.
"Did you forget your way back to your room?" Hyunjin asked grumpily, his words slurred out on purpose causing them to be almost unintelligible.
"No, I'm just intruding in your personal space," you said, looking around the dark room that was only illuminated by the light cast from the window until Hyunjin finally lit up a match and put the fire on several candles that sat on his desk.
You hummed, "Candles! Do they have any smell?"
"They're just candles, (Name)," Hyunjin said, dropping the burned out match outside the room door and sliding it shut again.
"Oh, we have candles that come with different scents like roses or the ocean," you told him as you once again gave the dull room a glance, taking in the normal furniture and lack of decorations.
"Yeah, that is fun," Hyunjin muttered under his breath, causing you to furrow your eyebrows with the knowledge that something was obviously up, and you thought you have an idea of what he was upset about.
"Hyunjin," you called out, heading it sit on the floor right next to his bed. When he didn't respond to you, you called him again, louder but more coaxing this time, "Hyunjin."
He turned around to face you, pouting when you patted the space next to you. He hesitantly walked over and plopped down next to you, bringing his knees up to his chest and playing with his fingers in between the little space of his legs and torso.
You looked at him carefully before you spoke, "You like Princess Deokhye."
Hyunjin knew there was no point in hiding from you, it wasn't like you already know about the past anyway. You probably had all the information about Goryeo stored in the little device of yours for all he knew.
"What's the point? She doesn't like me and she isn't going to marry me," Hyunjin scoffed, "She is appointed to marry the crown prince, but honestly if she and hyung-nim beg for it, maybe the King will let those two marry each other instead and find Chan hyung-nim another princess."
You jutted out your bottom lip gently and held out your hand, urging him to take it. There was not much you could tell him as you had never really fallen in love with anyone but celebrities who you knew you have zero chance with and you completely accept that fact.
But Hyunjin didn't look like he wanted to accept his wicked fate with Deokhye, and it wasn't within your ability to persuade him sometimes love happens this way and that he should simply get over it.
Now, hand holding was within the knowledge of concepts of Hyunjin, but he didn't expect you to initiate it at a time and space like this and he certainly did not expect to like the way you snuggled up to him with your hands together on your lap so much.
Even lovers rarely get like this with each other around here. Mostly because people don't really fall in love with each other, he supposed, he had never seen his father act like this with his mother, nor the official queen. But what would he know about that? His household was of the lowest rank.
"Lay your head on mine, Hyunjin," you said playfully, reaching up to press on the side of his head so he comfortably leans on you too. You giggled then, looking at the flickering fire on the desk, "Do you know this is called? What we are doing right now."
"Hugging?" Hyunjin asked.
"Yes, but this is more than just hugging, this is cuddling. Only very close people do it with each other," you said, "It helps with releasing stress because when you cuddle someone, your brain releases something called oxytocin that makes you calm."
Hyunjin had a hard time understanding you but your voice sounded like a strange lullaby to him, soothing and safe. To urge you to speak more for his own sake, he asked you about certain words.
He kept you talking, he kept you singing, and he listened even when he couldn't understand a thing you said.
"Hyunjin," you called after a moment of silence. Hyunjin mentally thanked the Gods for your initiative as he was having trouble making up questions in his head. He hummed a little, drowning himself further and further into the touch of your thumbs across the back of his palm, gliding across slowly as if examining the veins under his skin.
"Why do you love Deokhye?" You asked, letting out a gentle laugh, "Why is she the shit in your life?"
Hyunjin wanted to protest discussing this topic. He was being rather pessimistic about it, wanting to say that it doesn't matter why he was in love with her because they were never going to end up together, but if he ventured further into it, he knew he was lying to himself.
It wasn't that he didn't want to talk about it, it was that he wasn't sure if he really felt that way towards Deokhye anymore.
After you came along, that was. And it was absolutely ridiculous, you had only been here for two and a half day, but you had managed to flip his entire world upside down. Everything he had ever known, every system that was beaten into his brain—all gone.
Back then, there were no extra people to point out that there were other potential candidates—better candidates—for his pathetic love life. It was you who showed him he didn't have to dwell in this unrequited love, that perhaps his feeling wasn't fully developed yet, that Deokhye wasn't all that there was for him.
"Does it matter?" He grumbled under this breath, nuzzling his cheek against the top of your head lazily, "She will never be with me, even if she wants to. I'm not special here."
You sucked in a breath, "That's not true, Hyunjin. That is very not true."
He bit down on his lower lip, "Yeah?"
"Yeah, and I have proof," you said as you held up his hand, showing him his wrist. "Do you see this line here, Hyunjin? This bulging line here, this is called a vein. I heard somewhere that the blood flowing inside these veins are made of four kinds of iron atoms. Do you know how irons are naturally made?"
"How are they made?"
"They can only be made in the cores of dying stars, so essentially speaking," you said as you ran a finger down his vein line, "You are made of stardust, Hyunjin. Something out of the sky, something created by nature itself, so rare and so special that even the King is incomparable to it."
"Made out of stardust..."
"Yeah, out of stardust, Hyunjin, that's you," you smiled, "So whoever dares to deem you invaluable will have to answer to the vast power of the sky. And also me, they'll have to go through me. I am going to kick their ass."
Hyunjin sighed, in revelation? In relief? He wasn't so sure what he was feeling. It was all too overwhelming for him to comprehend the amount of love he was receiving, the amount of love he should have gotten ever since the day he was born but was never gifted to until now, by you.
He thought about the world in the future then, thinking maybe everyone treated each other the way you treated him, thinking that he was definitely born in the wrong era.
What a beautiful time you live in, he couldn't help but think, because people around you got to enjoy your presence and your attention, because you live in it. He almost felt guilty for taking you away from them, but he didn't mind being selfish for once.
Goryeo could use some beauty right now and thank god you were here to grace the place with it.
Hyunjin held your hand a little tighter then. You let him.
And while you were calm as you basked in the beating of your hearts, he felt special with the flowing of stardusts in his blood.
You sat in the staff area of the courtroom, a bored look displayed on your face as you listened to the King ramble on and on about politics and foreign trade problems with the palace advisers. Some of the problems you have never heard of, some of them you could only vaguely remember, and some of them you failed a whole test for.
Hyunjin noticed, from across the room, and differentiated each of them with the little expressions you pull every time the King or the advisers suggested a potential solution. Rolling eyes meant stupidity, furrowed eyebrows meant bad suggestions, a quirk of your eyebrow meant interest, and at last a heavy sigh meant agreement.
He counted and so far there were more eye rolls than deep sighs. The King was not doing so good.
He hadn't been listening at all either but that wasn't a problem. No one was going to ask him about it anyway, he was never the one in charge when it came to running the country. Therefore, he spent his sweet time just keeping his eyes on you, adoring you from afar without fully acknowledging his feeling of admiration.
Your eyes darted up to the ceiling and you grumbled. You thought you were going to find a clock there but you remembered where you were. You could not believe you miss that ugly ticking clock in your dull classroom.
Returning your eyes back down to the court, you listened to the mathematician ramble about the problem written on the problem. You weren't sure what the problem was supposed to solve but you saw weird shapes and lines. Sitting up to see the paper more properly, you were able to decipher a triangle drawn in the middle with two numbers on each side.
"Isn't that just trigonometry," you said to yourself, supposedly, except you had said it in a voice loud enough for most people to hear and now the mathematician was looking at you with an unreadable expression.
You quickly shrunk back against your seat, "Sorry."
"No, no, come show us how to do this," the King ordered, pointing at you and moving his finger to the center.
You opened your mouth to protest but stopped when you weighted the consequences of you simply doing the math and disobeying the King's order. With a frown, you flung your schoolbag in front of you and unzipped it, reaching inside to pull out a pen and your calculator.
You headed over to the center before leaning down. You blew some air out of your nose, feeling everyone's eyes on you as you read the question that you didn't understand, so you had to rely completely on the graph on the side of it.
"This is... Pythagorean Theorem, so I just have to square these..." you mumbled away as you casually turned on your calculator, pressing on your bluebell pen to write on the paper. You looked up at the King's confused expression and immediately realized he was having trouble understanding the objects in your hands, which you supposed was going to happen the second you whipped them out.
"This is a pen, it writes. This is a calculator, a thing that does the math for you," you explained quickly before returning back to the question at hand, "They are... Neverland stuff."
The court watched you scribble and scribble, writing letters and symbols that have yet to be invented until you finally dropped your pen and held up the paper to the mathematician, who received the paper carefully.
You stood up then, side-eyeing Hyunjin and immediately peeling your gaze away to return back to your seat. Packing up your things quicker than you had ever done two minutes before the school bell, you loudly zipped up your backpack, flung it over your shoulder and headed out for the door.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" You replied from the end of the room, yelling back at the King with a thumb up and a soulless, almost humorous smile, "I am skedaddling out of here!"
Pushing the door and finding that it won't budge, it took you a good second to remember the doors back in the days didn't come in a push and pull motion. You let out a frustrated groan, "God damn it, this is a public place, can't you lazy people just put a label on the door?"
Hyunjin stood up quickly then, wanting to follow you but also not forgetting to give the King a notice of his sudden leave. He bowed politely with his hand in front of him, "I am going to see to my cousin, Your Majesty."
Hyunjin halted to a stop, his movement slow and clear as he turned around and kept his head low. The King readjusted his position on his throne before he spoke, looking a little shameful as he cleared his throat, "Ask your cousin about the... objects they used for the Math questions and I want to know how to go to Neverland, my son."
Hyunjin's jaw dropped slightly at his father's request but he only nodded before quickly scurrying away too. He met you outside the room and you immediately clung onto him with your expression pulled into one of distress. Hyunjin hoisted you up by your waist as he slowly walked you over to the ground field in the middle of the palace.
"God, I thought I was gonna throw up in there," you said with wide, angry eyes, "I got fucking war flashbacks to the time I messed up my final presentation."
"I didn't know you have been to war, (Name)," Hyunjin questioned.
"It's a saying, Hyunjin, when you remember some embarrassing memories," you frowned, your voice whiny at the recall of you spilling blushing madly in front of the class. It was worse that you somehow saw the memory from a third person point of view and it is just the best way for you to imagine how lame you appeared in front of everyone else.
After arriving at the large field surrounded by short, wide structures in all directions, you two stopped by the wall and you slumped against it, your brows formed into a constant furrow. You finally let yourself get a breather, looking ahead at the road to the main gate of the palace.
You reached down to the ground and grabbed a rock to throw it ahead of you. Hyunjin stood next to you, looking down at you as you childishly let out frustrated crying noises that he found more endearing than annoying. After all, he would never catch dead a royalty doing something like that in the presence of anyone but their maid.
"That was boring and scary, I am never going inside again," you said.
Hyunjin hummed out a laugh, finally sitting down next to you. He nudged your side, "The King said he wants to know about the things you just used and he wants a map to Neverland."
You rolled your eyes, "Wouldn't he want that."
"Yeah, I just told you he wanted that."
You turned to Hyunjin, eyes crinkling at how dense he was when it came to catching on to the art of sarcasm. You shook your head then, choosing to feel glad that his innocence was still intact and he still had the heart to take things seriously, and with a content sigh, you leaned your head against his shoulder for comfort.
"You are adorable, Hyunjin. Do you know that?" You asked slowly.
He automatically leaned his head against yours, smiling fondly at the air as he shook his head, "I don't even know what that word means, (Name)."
"It means you are very... very..." you bit your inner cheek, "Just know that it is a good thing and it makes people like you a lot."
Hyunjin laughed then and you knew exactly what that laugh meant, that laugh of hidden insecurities and self-doubt elements. You slapped his knee continuously before your hand slowly came to gentle pats, "Trust me, Hyunjin, men and women will fawn so hard over you if you come with me to the future. They will love you, with that face and that personality. You are celebrity material."
"Cele–brity... celebrity," Hyunjin repeated patiently before he asked, "Are they good?"
"Some of them, yeah," you nodded.
"So they are people with stardusts in their veins too?"
You inhaled, humming at his question. "Not all of them," you said, "Only the very special ones–actually, it depends. If you love them, they will have stardusts in their veins. If you don't, they are just normal celebrities."
Hyunjin nodded understandably, glancing at the back of his arm.
If you love them, huh?
You were the one who told him about his stardusts, so you believed he has stardusts in his blood.
He lightly blushed at the thought, suppressing a smile and instead he chose to nuzzle his face at the top of your head. Feeling his sudden wave of affection, you only giggled up at him, reaching up to pinch his bubbly cheek.
Hyunjin wasn't sure if that implied you had strong feelings for him.
He hoped it did, surely.
Minho came by later to tell both of you the announcement you had missed. It was a simple announcement of the Crown Prince and Princess Deokhye's engagement party. When you heard it, a part of you felt bad for Hyunjin (when you really didn't have to) while the other part of you were sympathetic towards Princess Deokhye's fate in her love life, that everything was already set and done for her.
"Hyung-nim is going to treat her well, I am sure," Hyunjin mumbled, "He is nice like that."
You let out a noise in response, trying your best at drawing a map of Goreyo by copying the chart you managed to find in one of the word documents you saved in your laptop. It was literally the only time you felt grateful for an unnecessary project.
"Are you drawing Neverland?"
"No, Hyunjin. That place doesn't exist," you said.
"Then why are you drawing how to go there?"
"Because your dad wanted it, so I am going to draw a map to nowhere and let him order his stupid troops around," you rolled your eyes, shading a big area and drawing random lines on top of the land. "I wish Neverland existed, it would be such a great place to escape to."
Hyunjin tilted his head questioningly, intrigued to know that there was somewhere else you found better than the Earth you already lived in, "I think your world is already a pretty good place."
You chuckled, "That's just because you've never been there. Don't be fooled by all the things I have, we aren't all that good either."
Your voice had trailed off gently, suddenly feeling guilty for having shattered what was supposed to be a perfect image, a hopeful image for a better place in Hyunjin's head. It wasn't like he was ever going to find out the truth, and in all honesty, humanity had come so far since a thousand years ago.
Why couldn't you just give Hyunjin the benefit of the doubt? Why couldn't you sprinkle some magic in his life the way many things did to your own childhood?
You sighed heavily as you dropped your pen and crumbled up the paper, throwing it far away from you. Hyunjin watched you with confusion but he accepted the warm embrace you decided to gave him.
This was different than usual snuggling you two did. Instead of leaning on his shoulder, you laid your head on his chest this time as his back leaned against the tree trunk. He knew to circle his arms around you, and when you let out a soft sigh, he felt his chest relax.
"Do you want to know about my world? About Earth?"
Hyunjin's hand cupped your shoulder as he stared ahead at the sky. The sun was setting slowly but the sky hadn't quite changed its clothes yet. It was still a pretty shade of blue, but he could tell it was getting darker and darker, and the sky was on the verge of becoming a shade of pink and orange.
When he spoke, his voice was as low as the sun.
"I want to know about everything." Everything about you.
You shifted your head a little, still leaning comfortably against him. Your eyes were tender, squinting a little at the sun to reduce the damage to your eyes.
"We have a lot of good things, actually. Like I already told you, we have television and air conditioning..."
You went on and on, moving from one thing to another, and he listened like you were the only person he could ever listen to.
You talked about advanced objects that Hyunjin would hardly imagine, things like cars and airplanes that bring you to all parts of the world. You talked about the things that were specifically for entertainment, like books and movies, things that gave your people an escape despite your already seemingly perfect world.
And you moved on to your people of Earth, the flawed people who were changing slowly, people who were getting better. You talked about friends who stuck by each other and parents who cared about their children openly.
The more you talk, the more you gave him hope, a fantasy that he could hold on to when he felt devastated.
Your world was great.
And Hyunjin was suddenly scared.
"(Name)..." he started after staying quiet for so long, and unconsciously he brought you closer to him, "Do you... have you ever thought about finding a way back?"
You were calm when you heard the question and you could hear the concern laced in his voice. Truthfully, you have thought about heading back a few times, using all kinds of way you could think of to get you back to where you belong. But as time passed, as you wrecked your brain only to come up with no solution, as you spent more time here with everyone, with the prices and the old but vibrant town, with Hyunjin—your hope for that had somewhat diminished.
And you realized you didn't really want to get back. You wanted to stay here with Hyunjin, who had made you feel extremely cared for and so valued with the way he listens to every word you say with seriousness and how he appreciates your mere presence.
You realized then, that your worst-case scenario wasn't that you die, it was you leaving Hyunjin alone in this place.
"No," you shook your head curtly, burying your head in his chest until you couldn't anymore. "Not anymore."
Hyunjin let out a relieved sigh, his hand stroking the side of your face like he could not get enough of you. He was afraid of what you would say. With a world like yours, he could hardly imagine why you would ever want to stay in Goryeo.
"I want to stay with you," you muttered.
There he has it. The answer to his question, the reason why you would want to stay in Goryeo.
It was him.
Now it was just up to him, to see if he caught on to that.
The engagement ball was boring but you felt wrong for expecting anything better. Obviously, there would be a difference between parties in your days and party in Goryeo so technically, it was your fault for having high expectations at all.
Aside from that, it was also horrible for you to watch as Princess Deokhye walk herself further and further away from the love of her life and to watch Chan put on a strong front when all he wanted to do was let her hand go, so no one has to marry someone they didn't want to.
Your frown was evident the whole process of the grand announcement, and you were really so close, pinching your thumb and index finger kind of close, to telling the unhappy couple adultery with consent was always an option. Except it wouldn't really be adultery, it would just be lying to your parents.
And that was, universally, what kids had done at least once in their life, so what's the big deal really (you did realize you were making less of the problem).
Before the party ended, you decided to head back to Hyunjin's home because the hanbok you were forced to wear just wasn't really doing it for you. You have worn one before but it was only once every year and only for a family picture worth of time, having to endure the unfamiliar fabric for the whole day was exhausting for you.
"I knew I would find you here."
You turned around to see Hyunjin slowly making his way over to you, who was standing by the tree. You playfully rolled your eyes as a laugh escaped your lips. Approaching him, you two stood beneath the star in the empty yard, listening to the sound of hollering from the part that was located rather far away from this corner of the palace.
"Why are you here, Hyunjin," you said, the question coming out as a casual statement than anything because you knew what he was going to say: he was here to find you.
"I came here to find you," he said, grabbing a hold of both of your hands as his eyes gleamed with fondness at your presence. The way he swayed his body as you two stumbled in circles around the yard was filled with such love-struck that it was a miracle you didn't just grab him there and kissed him.
Maybe you should.
"You know what this calls for?" You said, smiling at him as you let go and quickly made your way to the tree, where your schoolbag resided for hours as you and Hyunjin had been hanging out under there before the engagement party started.
You headed back to Hyunjin with your phone in your hand. You had been saving up your battery carefully, not wanting it to be dead despite being unable to use it anyway. Scrolling down the screen, you pressed on something and turned your phone's volume all the way up.
"Music," you said, placing the phone on the floor, "And slow dances."
You held Hyunjin's hands again and walked closer, carefully putting his hand on either side o your waist while you wrapped yours around his neck. Your outfits were making the close position hard to achieve but it felt good enough for you two.
"There are no special moves, we just kind of sway to the song," you explained, "But this is nice. It is really romantic, don't you think?"
Hyunjin didn't remember what romantic meant but he nodded, assuming it was something good as everything you had ever given him. He could feel the thumping of his heart that slowly came to a more gentle speed as you guided him with baby steps, moving across the light of the moon and traveling through the maps of the star.
"You're good at this," you giggled proudly at him, looking into his eyes that shone too much and gave away overwhelming affection.
It wasn't long before you started to hum along with the tune and Hyunjin could feel revelation burst through his chest.
This was why he needs you with him at all times, this was why he couldn't even wait half an hour at the party before finding you. You made him feel relaxed, you made him forget about everything and he has the chance to feel as if he really was the center of the universe.
Because he has to be with you or else he breaks.
Because he was so immensely in love with you, and you were so in love with him.
You never told him, but he could feel it on you, somehow.
He could not even begin to imagine how devastated he would be if you disappear one day and he has to go back to the way things were, go back to the world before you appeared, to the old days.
He would hate to go back to Goryeo when he's met Earth. The oh so perfect Earth you've given him, the perfect paradise.
How tragic would it be for him when his Neverland is destroyed.
How could you have forgotten about the sunrise?
You woke up early the morning you disappeared from Earth, so early the sun was barely up yet. You remembered how the sky was a divine of both dark and light and it urged you to look up at to see how exactly it was being so contradicting.
Your eyes opened at early sunrise and you found yourself lying next to Hyunjin under the tree in the backyard. Yesterday night was not a blur to you at all. You two danced and sang and talked until you both settled down under the tree and just stayed silent with each other, holding onto each other and communicating with bare hearts.
And then that was it.
You fell asleep and you woke up to see the sunrise, the same sunrise that turned the sky the light of both dim and bright, so confusing that you weren't sure what you were looking at because it seemed transparent.
You looked at your fading hands and back at Hyunjin, who slept peacefully under the tree. You recognized that your worst-case scenario was happening but you couldn't bring yourself to protest, to make a big deal out of it. You just wanted to leave quietly, to leave cowardly.
Or maybe you just didn't want to see how Hyunjin would react to this because if you did, you would be absolutely demolished knowing that there was nothing both of you could do about it, that things didn't always happen the way you want them to happen.
You grabbed your schoolbag and wore them on your back, quietly with your hoodie on your forearm, you dropped yourself down next to Hyunjin and you hovered over him to tenderly stroke his closed eyelids.
"I'm–" you gulped, "I'm going, Hyunjin. I am so sorry."
You bit your lower lip when you felt a hand at your wrist, a thumb running across it. He was awake, you didn't know when but he was up. His eyes remained closed, though. He didn't want to see you right now, he didn't want to see your possible fading image and find himself wanting nothing but just to hold onto you.
"It's okay," he whispered, "You can go."
You hummed, kissing up from his jaw to all over his face, leaving the last of your touch all over him in hopes that he would always remember. You felt light-headed after a while and you could feel your disappearance nearing.
God, why was the process so slow? It was so quick when you arrived. Was this the universe's way of showing you mercy, by giving you time?
You finally pecked his lips, your heart clenching at the sweet and soulful feeling that you would cease to be able to feel, and regret coated your heart upon the accusation of why you hadn't done it sooner. Why hadn't you just kissed him before?
"I love you, Hyunjin, I really do. Remember me, remember the stardusts in your hand," you confessed quickly before sealing your lips shut again.
And then you were gone, leaving nothing but empty air and an empty heart behind. Hyunjin clenched his jaw, pursing his lips, again and again, to try and recreate the sensation of your lips on top of his but it was to avail.
Hyunjin kept his eyes shut then, letting his imagination run wild before he had to wake up and face the day, to face a world without you in it.
The birds chirped, and he laughed.
"You're right, (Name)," he croaked out, "The birds are so fucking loud here."
And the stardusts sure shine so brightly.
The leaves crunched soundly under his shoes as Hyunjin walked around the back yard. It was early morning, the birds had woken him up. Finding it hard to head back to bed with an empty mind and no one he dared to wake up to talk to, Hyunjin grabbed the hoodie you dropped ages ago before you left and he headed to the yard.
He stood under the tree, the usual spot, the spot he had begun to both hate and love. Fumbling with the material in his hand, he pouted when his finger reached the hood of the piece and he held it up in front of him, eyeing it curiously.
He had never worn it before, but he supposed it wouldn't hurt to try.
Bringing up the end of the hoodie, he messed around with the hem, recalling the image of you wearing it. He carefully reached his hand inside, finding it difficult due to him already wearing a hanbok, but nonetheless, he managed to find the sleeves and placed his arms over.
Pulling the hoodie over his torso, he huffed out a little at how tight it looked. It was really loose on you even when you were wearing a shirt underneath it. Hyunjin breathed out a frustrated sigh, pulling at the strings of your hoodie as he swayed about.
He could smell you on it and perhaps that was the only reason why he hadn't taken it off yet, even though it felt absolutely uncomfortable.
He missed you. He really did, and he had been lying to everyone about your disappearance, saying you had left to discover a better place. He didn't blame you for leaving, even though you had told him you wanted to stay. He simply hoped you were happy wherever you were.
Hyunjin looked up at the sky and his eyes squinted. A questioning sound popped out from his throat as he tilted his head to the side, looking at the sunrise.
The sun appeared full circle soon after, by then the prince was gone.
And he only left bits and bits of stardust behind.