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cult-of-the-eye · 5 months

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tma makeup headcanons:

Jonathan "serving cunt" Sims:

S1 Jon doesn't know what makeup is (he absolutely wore eyeliner every single day at uni but he's not letting everyone else know that)

He like spot conceals but that's about all he feels comfortable getting away with while maintaining his air of professionalism

He also despises the feeling of foundation on his face

S2 Jon is barefaced as the day he was born. My man's last priority is how he looks, he's too busy buying axes in central London and stalking his coworkers

S3 Jon has none of his makeup with him but he's got loads of spare time and Georgie has a whole drawer so he experiments a little bit, he goes for Kajal (black pencil eyeliner lining the inside of your eyes) instead of his previous winged eyeliner but he hesitates at the any colour because she managed to pull it off but he's never been one for drawing attention to himself like that but one day he goes for a burgundy or like dark purplish red colour and he's quite pleased with himself

I feel like Jon would go for a natural kind of look, with concealer and a skin tint at best, some dark brown eye shadow to deepen his hooded eyes and kajal

Martin Kslaying Blackwood:

Ugh I love this man so much

I'm literally such a fan of trans Martin it's pretty much canon to me so I'm headcanoning that he's very hesitant about makeup cause he was a late transitioner and had only just gotten used to passing recently so he doesn't want to do anything to risk that

But he's such a slut for a nice little blush or like a subtle lip tint

He goes for powder blushes cause liquid ones feel sticky on his face and also powder blushes just Look Nice

He also likes lip tints cause he's constantly rubbing off lip products, with the multiple mugs of tea a day and it's getting awkward handing Jon mugs of tea with faint lipstick stains on them

He keeps an emergency kit in his bag with like some eyeshadow if he needs to darken his facial hair and on a whim he puts a baby pink powder blush in there and a matching lip tint

So it's not like he decided to bring it to the safehouse, it was just sort of there

Jon finds it and he's like let's go, we're going down to the shops and buying some, we're gonna do some experimenting and Martin's like oh!!

When he was working for Peter Lukas, he was also barefaced, he didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he put effort in

Timothy "Take notes" Stoker:

This man is such a fun makeup guy

He's a random dots around his eyes, shimmery colourful inner corner, new colour every day, just drawing shit around his eyes kinda man

He's a no foundation no concealer kinda guy as well I think

ugh just can you imagine??? They have a little tally of what colours/patterns Tim's using today and somehow he never managed to repeat a look - it might be a repeated colour but the pattern or the way it's used it's always different

And then one day he just stops. He still wears makeup but the colours are more muted and they make his eyes look bruised in a very decisive way

It's almost as if he's spent ages on a look and then tried to scrub it all away

Sashay Away James

She's such a glamorous girly I feel like she really enjoys the process of makeup more than actually changing the way she looks

I'd love her to be doing the whole shebang, spending hours picking the right primer and stuff like that

She goes for the yeah I'm wearing makeup and I'm slaying look

I feel like she's so good at a little nose highlight

Can you imagine every day Tim greeting Sasha every morning with like a love the highlight girl and it makes her happy every single time

Oh she's such a fake freckles girly absolutely

Hated false eyelashes cause they feel weird

Not Sasha believes makeup is pushing feminism backwards

#ugh i love gender fuckery archives #ive made every single archival staff autistic in my head #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin k blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #tma headcanons #archival assistants #not sasha #brown jonathan sims #desi jonathan sims

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echodoesstuff62333 · 7 months

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ROTTMNT Mad Dogz Headcanons

Headcanons for stupid turtles because HELL YEAH

R A P H A E L

• Probaby has OSDD-1/P-DID [savage anybody??]

• Has plushies of his bros + April

• He/She slay

• Pansexual

• Has had his tail used to trip others

• Could go onto a 5 hour ramble on kid show's characters' personalities and how deep the story actually is

• As a tot he had an absolutely horrible chewing habit[chewing through furniture, chewing his own arm, etc]

L E O N A R D O

• He has dyslexia [you can't change my mind]

• Older between him and Donnie

• Trans in some fucking way

• Leo is androsexual [y'all I'm teaching words here]

• When Leo was a tot he often mimicked his brothers to "fit in"

• Sometimes indulges in binge eating

• Leo felt separated from Donnie as a tot

D O N A T E L L O

• As a tot he was the one that suggested being twins with Leo

• Austic ass

• Has burnout but is very good at masking it

• Asexual Demiromantic demiboy king✨

• Has a wall thingy to show off all his fidget toys

• You could infact troll him with the Alt + F4

• Has a notebook to write down stuff about people. Knows the sensory needs of all the people he cares for.

M I C H E L A N G E L O

• ADHD

• Can get very aggressive when upset

• Chewing habit [whether that be a braclet or paper]

• He likes to doodle on extra markings onto himself

• Mikey is just Mikey, he doesn't do labels

• As a tot he has tried to bring stuff like food into his shell

• Knows exactly where that thing from 183 days ago you lost at 7:14 am is but can't remember where he put his pencils

#tmnt #rottmnt #leonardo #donatello #raphael #michelangelo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt mikey #rise of the tmnt #rise donnie #rise leo #rise raph #rise mikey #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt au #rottmnt headcanons #koi catastrophe

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shelbgrey · 6 months

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Bones Characters as things my friends have said part 2:

Angela: I slayed absolute penis!

Cam: just because I read my Bible and go to church doesn't mean I don't want any cock.

James: I feel like eating the fabric of time and space.

Seeley: I'm gonna stab you in the wind pipe with a pencil, good luck passing Choir now.

Wendell: bitch, your gonna call the Ghostbusters and your gonna fucking like it!

Temperance: have you ever wanted to reach through apple music and stab a rapper in the windpip with a highlighter?

Hodgins: willy Wonka and the chocolate factory is a great form of birth control

Lance: don't tell me your gonna deep throat his bread stick.

Jessica: wow-wee look at that cock

Clark: stop manhalding the freshman

#inncorrect quotes #Bones #Jeffersonian #Seeley Booth #Temperance Brennan #James Aubrey #Lance Sweets #Bones TV show #BONES #Squinterns #Jack Hodgins #Angela Montenegro #Camille Saroyan

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honeyuuyuu · 1 year

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any art blog recommendations?

Art blog recommends you say? 👀

I have plenty of them! I’ll try giving as much of a summary of some of their main themes are! These are TWST art blogs tho ^^

Most of these people are older than me and I- errr- I look up to them 👉👈

@bunnwich -> They are a huge Leona simp, and their Yuusona is Yuuta, a green-haired bunny who is also very cool ✨

@beats-7979 -> Tweel simp with incredible art! She had commissions before but I’m not sure if she’s opened shop now but if she does, please do support her! Her OC is really pretty, too!

@leonakingscholarship -> A Leona, Vil and now a Cater simp! Best themes I’ve seen and she loves the Pomefiore aesthetic. She also has really aesthetic and unique OCs!

@loneliness-of-spring -> Another amazing artist who can also fill your dash with the most funniest reblogs accompanied by the most funniest tags. Super cute Yuusona and also met them before irl and they’re really cool!

@daily-trey -> They don’t know me but errrr- hey- love how- it’s just- T*ey- yeah- and your art is very cool, and very funny it makes my day- NONE OF YOU SAY A WORD- I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GONNA SAY MOVE YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD I AM NOT A T*EY SIMP- i think-

@evilcokito -> Incredible art and OCs (Sandra-), and they draw Sam a lot and give a lot of limelight for the staff which is very neat. Also they’re very funny ✨

@comingyourlugubriousness -> Precious Idia simp, with cute art and they are vibing. Very nice and wholesome art, support their commissions too if you can!

@twixxsted -> I HAVEN’T SEEN THEM FOR A LONG TIME BUT TRULY, TRULY, TRULY THEY HAVE INCREDIBLE ART AND A BEAUTIFUL DIVA OC CALLED MUNA PLEASE SUPPORT EVEN THOUGH THEY AREN’T HERE AS OFTEN

@vaporvipermedia -> They have amazing art, a big Rook simp, and they colour so nicely it scratches your brain in all good ways ✨

@tunabesimpin -> Funniest artist I’ve ever met- cute art style and even cuter Yuusona. Need I say more? And they’re a Floyd stan-

@moomoomooing -> Another super cute art style with an even cuter OC! A Leona simp who is very wholesome and I love talking to them they are amazing 💕

@oseathepebble -> A Jack simp with funky OCs and funny memes drawn by them, they are slay ✨

@paporuii -> They have the cutest, comforting art I’ve seen and I always feel very happy when they post something. Not always TWST but it’s always so beautiful and adorable 💕

@cleumuu -> I’m pretty sure you know them they’re like pretty famous but I will reiterate myself: JAMIL (yes they are a Jamil simp) X CUTEST YUUSONA CREATED BY THEM- also they have really cute art of Grim and their overal art style is pretty!

@forgwater -> While they do make a lot of funny meme edits, they have pretty cool art. Most of them are cursed but it really is worth it- it’s funny af- makes me hysterical laugh in a good way-✨

@nicoliharu -> Another pretty famous artist but I will reiterate: Ruggie simp with a Diva OC, they are a power couple but also very cute together. And their art is gorgeous!

@akaipepo -> Not as active but that’s okay. They have beautiful art when you see them absolutely gorgeous 💕

@raix-lv -> Mostly a writer but they make pretty pencil sketch art when they post their own drawings I love them 💕💕

@the-trinket-witch -> Funny Octavinelle simp, funky skeleton OC and they’re art is very cute, but also cool. Idk how to describe it well it’s just very unique and I love it 💕

@thetwstwildcard -> They have very pretty OCs, and one time they drew Aepper’s chibi Sprite as a surprise gift and that was very nice of them! But besides that, very cute and pretty art and I hope they’re doing well!

There’s many more artist, but like goddamnit all of them are talented 💕💕

#honeyuuyuu🐝#art blogs!

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prose-for-hire · 2 years

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Stake your bets

Pairing: Faith x reader; Buffy x platonic!reader

Request: hi, would it be okay to request a story or maybe hc's if you prefer about dating faith and being buffy's best friend and trying to make them get along? I love your work, I hope you're not overwhelmed by all the requests you're getting

Requested by: Anon

A/N: I think we can safely say I probably was overwhelmed by my requests lol !! Sorry for the wait, love, hope this one’s okay! 💖

You and Buffy had been best friends pretty much since her first day at high school. She had sat next to you in English class and you had to borrow a pencil when yours flew across the classroom. She was the best friend you had ever had, you told each other everything and nothing was ever too much information to share between you. I mean, you had saved the world together.

You shared so many amazing memories, some good and some bad. Some absolutely terrifying.

You were so close that you could barely find one of you without the other. You basically lived at each other’s houses. Attached at the hip. You just got on, you couldn’t explain it. Even when you argued, you never feared losing her as a friend. You knew there would be nothing worth losing your friendship over. So, when you started dating Faith, you knew it would be hard for her. But you hoped that she would be happy for you at least to begin with.

You had met Faith in the same way as everyone else when she had ran in and borrowed Buffy’s stake to dust a vamp before introducing herself at the Bronze. You didn’t know what to think of her to begin with, she was obviously very attractive (and she knew about it too). She kept to herself a lot after that, she didn’t really give much away other than that she liked to party and slay.

Her I-don’t-care persona intrigued you and after a while, you found yourself becoming more and more drawn to her. It was slowly at first, you paid more attention to the little things.

How she near always avoided talking about herself seriously. How she got a kick out of helping people but hated to let it show. And the cigarette she would always treat herself to after a really good slay. Even the gum she always bought and chewed on long patrols for something to do. By this point, it had made you wonder if this habit made her lips taste of ‘Very berry’…

You had it bad. You had grown close although she always appeared to be keeping you at a distance. Until one evening, you had asked if you could come on patrol with her. To her, it appeared out of the blue, but you had been trying and failing to ask all week. By Friday, you had worked up enough courage to ask and she shrugged to show that she didn’t mind, and you tried to hide your elation as you walked beside her into the night.

You spoke about anything and everything on that patrol, savouring every time you made her laugh. Real, genuine laughter from Faith was a divine sound. Though, you would never tell her that or risk getting teased within an inch of your life. At the end of the night, you rounded a corner and without saying anything, she slid her hand into yours. She was bold, much bolder than you. You would have waited at least a year to do something as scandalous and intimate as holding her hand.

But not her. Usually, she would have pressed you against a wall and kissed you without even a second thought, but that came a little later. There was something about you that, for once in her life, made her want to take things slow. It meant something. With you. And there was no chance she was letting you go once she realised that she had you.

Your relationship turned into a very well-kept secret. Not only because Faith thought pda and being as soft as she could be with you in public would make her look weak to humans and demons alike. But mostly because by this point, Buffy was starting to get jealous. Not because she wanted to date you, not at all. But because she thought she had been replaced by Faith as your very best friend.

You had tried to balance your time between them equally, honest you had. But there was only so much time in a day and your relationship was new and you found yourself aching for Faith every moment you spent apart.

One day, you woke up by Faith’s side pressed against the soft skin of her back and you knew it was the day you wanted everyone to know about your relationship. You couldn’t describe why or what had made this day so special, it was like any other. You woke up by her side in the mid-morning glow and pressed soft kisses against her exposed shoulder to wake her up. She turned and sleepily reached for you, sighing contently in a way she never had before she started to share her bed with you.

Later that day, when you had reluctantly left your girlfriend’s side, you met up with Buffy for your usual catch up at the Espresso Pump. She told you all of the latest gossip and she passed you an unusual looking rock she had picked up on patrol (you always collected weird looking rocks and trinkets when you went out patrolling with your best friend because sometimes it could get really boring).

You eventually managed to broach the subject that had been making you nervous the entire time you had spent at the coffee shop. You knew that Buffy would never end your friendship over anything like this, but her approval and support really mattered to you. And you just wanted her and Faith to get on.

“I need to tell you something…”

“If you’re gonna tell me you’re a secret vampire I might give you a 30 second head start before I start slaying” Buffy said, a hint of a smile in her voice although she could tell you were a little uneasy. Buffy had firmly decided that she didn’t like Faith. They were too different, they never seemed to agree on anything. Especially not slaying. So you didn’t want to cause yet another argument by admitting that you were dating.

But you couldn’t keep it from your best friend. You had kept exactly three secrets from her before this one and all led to a near-death experience (on your part). So you had learned the hard way to trust her with even your darkest secrets.

“No, it’s, well… me and Faith. We’re together. I think I might love her, actually” You said softly. She had never seen you like this, you had relationships in the past. Good ones, even. But never one like this. Where you had fallen so deeply and so willingly for someone. For your Faith.

“You’ve got to be kidding, the Emo slayer? She-who-must-not-be-tamed?”

“Please, just, hear me out before you start the name calling. What are you, seven?”

“One word: why?”

After a long conversation, that went off on several tangents and consisted of one shared cry and a long hug, you and Buffy were on good terms. You didn’t like keeping things from her and she admitted her own secrets she had been withholding too. Things went back to normal between you and Buffy and were even better between you and Faith. It told your lover that she mattered to you, that you wanted everyone to know that you were with her.

“I told her”

“Yeah? You actually want people to know about us then, huh?” she said this as if she assumed you might be embarrassed to love someone like her. But that could never be true.

“Faith, I love you. I would announce it to the world if I could” you insisted, taking her hand in yours and pressing a delicate kiss to the back of her hand. You swore you saw her blush as she pulled you into her, her lips meeting yours in a way that it never had. It was her way of telling you that she loved you back. She wasn’t quite able to say the words yet, but you knew instantly from the sensitive graze of her lips against yours that she had never felt anything more.

However, it took a good, long while to get Buffy and Faith back in the same room without them both exchanging some kind of snide comment. They were both intensely jealous people, though neither would admit it. But they both cared for you even more so and eventually, came around to trying to get on. For you.

Luckily, you were a person with a plan. In fact, you had made a list. Ten pages long (front and back) of ways you were going to convince them that they should both get along. Some of the most ridiculous ideas included hiring a paid vampire to try and attack them whilst also helping them bond as well as telling them that there was an ancient prophecy that the slayers had to like each other or the world could end.

You chose game night as your first activity. Which, in hindsight was probably not your best idea on the list as it brought with it a big element of competition. Something you could have done without. You had chosen Monopoly at first but there had been a creative interpretation of the rules by both of the slayers and so you had to call the end and pretend it was a draw to save each of them from ripping the other’s head off.

When you settled on poker, after Faith took out some matches to use after Buffy said she didn’t want to use real money. You had been on a losing streak for most of the night and you had been teased twice that it was a good job you weren’t playing strip poker. Something Faith quickly added she wouldn’t want to do with Buffy even if she paid her.

But suddenly, you started to win. Just a few games at first but you got better as the night went on. As did the mood between Buffy and Faith. They were civil, at least, and that was all you could really ask for.

Eventually, you realised that they were letting you win. Not only that, but they had silently agreed on this while you weren’t paying attention. They didn’t like that little droopy look you did when you realised you lost. They did a good job of letting you lose just enough times that you really could have been winning by your own skill. But you had seen glances of their cards every now and again and saw they weren’t playing their best hands.

You never called them out though, you didn’t let on that you knew because they had found a way to work together. To get on even if they weren’t as close with each other as you were with them both. Perhaps they never would be, but what made you glow was that they were at least making an effort. For you.

You ended up having regular game nights to unwind whenever there was no heavy slayer patrol needed, you leaned against Faith, lacing your hands with hers. She accused you of looking at her cards but never moved from the comfort of your touch. Buffy pretended to gag at the proximity you shared but you could see the way the corners of her mouth twitched into a slight smile. She had never seen you so happy and it was truly all she wanted for you. To be your happiest.

It actually went well for a while, you could be yourself around these women and you loved them both dearly, in different ways. You spent most of your time with your best friend and your girlfriend and found yourself having fun.

That was, of course, until Buffy found out about Faith and the Mayor…

#Faith x reader #Faith lehane x reader #Faith x you #Faith lehane x you #btvs #btvs imagine #btvs x you #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #btvs x reader #Buffy summers #Buffy summers x reader #fluff #faith lehane imagine #faith imagine #x reader #gender neutral #gn reader #buffy

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hornystiel · 7 months

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day 6: full spread

#suptober23 #destiel #destiel fanart #deancas #deancas fanart #castiel #castiel fanart #spn #spn fanart #slaying absolute pencil #thisisapaige #spxcekya #becauseofthebowties #altarofrowena #anztag #spncreatorsdaily #archervale

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livingunderaclassicrock · 3 days

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Finally decided to pick up the Pencil again.

He absolutely SLAYED the Monterey outfit. He looks like a fantasy prince.

#Brian jones #the rolling stones #the rolling stones fanart #rolling stones fanart #my posts :)#my art 🎨

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mikasimaginairyworld · 1 year

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The Crows: Their type of makeup

I think Matthias didn't even know there was something like makeup before he met Nina

Fjerda has other priorities than being pretty

I also think Nina gave him the most thorough crash course on makeup possible

I am convinced he was actually really interested and invested in this and tried each and every thing Nina introduced him to

ultimately he settled on eyeshadow

he loves sparkles

Nina gave him for their first Winter fete a huge eyeshadow-palette

(some of the shades she tailored herself)

Matthias' favourite one is a chocolate brown with a light golden shimmer

it reminds him of Nina's eyes

I also think he is a smokey-eye slayer

Nina is the queen of makeup

especially the one you don't see at first

like the natural enhancement of her naturally gorgeous features

but I think her favourite makeup item is lipstick and lipgloss

like this girl has the prettiest lips ever

and she always always always matches her lipstick to her outfit

I think the first time she did a black lip look Matthias nearly fell off his chair

her favourite lip color is a glowy green which she had Wylan enhance with some science to make it glow in the dark

Wylan isn't a fan of makeup on a day-to-day basis

simply because he can't be bothered with it

what I do think he does however is take care of his eyebrows

like I'm convinced this boy has some weird obsession with making his eyebrows look flawless

and they are

he plucks them regularly

and paints them slightly darker than they naturally are

I also think at some point he tried to use symmetry to draw over them

but he realised it didn't suit him that much

for some reason it took Jesper whole two years of dating to realise Wylan did his eyebrows

('I'm sorry, what?! Since when do you do that? I thought you were naturally perfect! How could you deceive me like that, marching!?')

Jesper absolutely slays eyeliner

graphic, short, long, winged, straight

everything

he loves color

especially if it's reoccurring in his outfit

and he loves jewel tones

specifically orange

I think he tried to teach Nina to do eyeliner but she's an absolutely hopeless case

but

I think he did Kaz's makeup once for a mission

and he managed not to touch him

it was bonding moment for both of them

Inej doesn't do makeup

during her days in the circus she loved playing with colors and outfits

she used the brightest shades. to enhance her features so she would be visible form the hight

but after the menagerie where she was forced to wear makeup to attract clients makeup just lost it's charm for her

it feels like a mask for her

as if it's trapping her again in the menagerie

or like a lie

I don't think she ever tried to get over this type of trauma

but she likes to paint her nails

surprisingly Kaz actually invests pretty much time in doing his makeup

he uses highlighter and foundation that is at least two shades lighter

and black contour

it makes him look like ghost or as if he's dead

which helps his Dirtyhands reputation

he started doing it after his third mission when his victim looked up at him and whispered 'ghost'

when he does his makeup his face looks very sharp

Inej was the first to see him without his makeup (when she talked to him while he was washing himself (you know the hands washing scene in the first book))

she noticed he has freckles

which she commented on

she thought they were kind of cute

from this point on Kaz made sure to keep his freckles hidden and only for her to see

when he stopped wearing makeup he tried to show off his freckles

he even painted over them with a brown eye pencil

#headcanon #six of crows #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #nina zenik #matthias helvar #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #wesper #helnik #kanej #makeup

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boqvistsbabe · 4 months

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Ok so fun gossip I heard

- 2 of the hockey boys had been secretly (nothing is actually a secret to me) dating for like 2 years but one is a science god who weightlifts competitively and plays 2/3 other sports very well and the other dropped out to smoke weed so they don't talk anymore and that is almost definitely the stoners fault and the nice really smart one is now stuck with a bunch of assholes because that was his only friend and he doesn't know that the queer femmes would adopt him to carry our bags

- there's a really popular girl who reads like Harry potter and colleen hoover (this is irrelevant I just like slander) exclusively who wants to be a radical politician but has never read any theory and don't follow politics

- the self appointed queen bee who cheated on her decent blonde bf by hooking up with her ex bffs abusive ex and then she left him for blondie and now has an on and off throuple with blondie and his besties, both of them are proclaimed straight and all of the are friends with shithead

- same queen bee and blondie, she posted on her til tok her rice purity score and it said that she had never come during sex, they were together for like 5 years and she has caught him watching porn while they fuck

- the annoying ass conservative dude who is like 6'6 and is the bad bitch lesbians man servant (he says friend but idk) started a fight with a known tiny 14 year old gang member and when a knife got pulled his mom, who works at the school, called the cops, same day a kid got stabbed in the head with a pencil during math but that was unrelated

- the grade 11 gymrat that my friends and I are fairy gay parenting into leftism at the start of the year believed that drug dealers deserve the death sentence (we are canadian???) and his ex gf's brother is in prison for petty drug crimes and his new gf is a scary bisexual weed dealer but I influenced him to be way better and they are a power couple

- all of the boys bathrooms are missing the soap dispenser and the mirrors, sinks and toilet seats are regularly stolen also once a custodian quit after having just walked into the main one

- we had a 3 hour secure school because a girl punched the librarian and the librarian passed out and then the girl hid somewhere in the school

- at a beach party during the summer my favourite random school person (you know what I mean, right?) was super drunk and shot a firework at the police, put his Crocs in sport mode and then ran away, successfully as well

- same dude had a job at an arcade and would break in during the night to just vibe with the lasers and run around drinking and smoking I guess, he also once hid from the cops in a tree, he postef all of this on his snap

I can't think of other big ones but this should do for now

Omg it’s been forever and a day since you sent this but I’m still gonna react to this lol

- okay first of all what a story second of all I feel bad for the one guy 😢

- okay but like that checks out based on the books soooo

- wild absolutely wild. First of all cheating is so bad but somehow who she cheated with made it even worse? Also throuple?!

- NOTHING IN FIVE YEARS?! WHAT IS BRO DOING WRONG (obvi everything but like omg) also while they fuck? 🫢

- man servant I love 💀💀 also hang member? ! And a pencil stabbing? That’s a lot on one day

- death sentence?! Omg?! Literally what? Also ur so slay for that tho

- it’s giving devious licks 💀😭 also that’s so real

- why did she punch the librarian 😭 like what

- (ik what u mean, i love my random people) AT?! Also putting the crocs in sport mode then running is such a funny picture

- this guy sounds like such a vibe tbh

#IM SO SORRY THIS IS LEGIT FROM FOREVER AGO #BUT IT WAS SO ENTERTAINING #friend tag

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mouthfulloftoothpasterry · 2 years

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i cant stop thinking about if lawyer harry and y/n won a case and then celebrated…iyk what i mean

also im glad ur back u slay my life

Omg baby you slay my life can we just get married already?

Girl… they are criminal lawyers so it would be absolutely sick and twisted but idec 🙏🙏🙏 so… mentions of knife play and sort of mean dom :p

“I’m happy we proved that that man didn’t kill his wife’s family.” Y/n sighs, letting Harry back her into the hallway and to their door. Wednesday was spending the night with her aunt Gemma so the couple didn’t have to worry about waking their little one. “Me too. And he payed us great.” Y/n laughs on his lips, pulling off his clip on tie (he could never learn how to actually tie one) and unbuttoning his shirt. He pulls off her little blazer, leaving her in just her pencil skirt and blouse under it.

“Okay, shut up. I need to relax after an eight week trial” Y/n murmurs, pushing his shirt off and yanking his pants down his leg. He pulls her pencil skirt off for her, letting her take off the complicated shirt. He tosses her on the bed, pulling himself out of his boxers and pushing her legs open. “Fuck, you looked so good presenting the crime scene photos I wanted to throw you on the stand and fuck you right in front of the judge.” She laughs, wrapping her legs around him and pulling him in.

“I know, you gave me those eyes.” She laughs, waiting for him to slam into her. “Feels good.” She gasps once he pushes himself into her, his hips already snapping fast enough to shove her up and down the bed while he manhandles her. “Okay” he starts, murmuring out his words. “Shut up or I’m gonna press that pretty knife to y’throat. Love you so much.” He smiles, pressing the side of her face into the bed.

#lawyer!harry

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cloudiyum · 5 months

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1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed of course

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Yes I doo, I want to donate them to homeless shelters.

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Tucked in, I love being tucked

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No but I've stolen many a cone

5: Do you like to use post-it notes? I do at work

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? I don't come across any coupons in my life right now

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? BEAR. ABSOLUTELY A BEAR. I would gladly be mauled to death

8: Do you have freckles? Not freckles but "beauty spots" as my mum calls them

9: Do you always smile for pictures? Nooo I tend to avoid that cuz my lips turn into 2 dimensional objects

10: What is your biggest pet peeve? Untidyness. Leaving the babywipe lid open. Dirty fridges.

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? No I don't!

12: Have you ever peed in the woods? Yeeees

13: What about pooped in the woods? No I once went camping for a week and didn't need to because my body knew It'd have to be in a hole.

14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Not really, maybe if I'm eating rly tasty food

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? Nope

16: How many people have you slept with this week? Zero the fuck

17: What size is your bed? Queen.. slay

18: What is your Song of the week? LIKE A GIRL DOES PEACH PRC

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Absofuckinglutely. I'd love my Henry to dye his hair pink if he would

20: Do you still watch cartoons? Not really but family guy yes

21: Whats your least favorite movie? OMG. DUNE!! FUCK DUNE. my god. worst/boring movie I've ever seen in my entire life.

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Bury? In dirt.. what else can you bury treasure in?

23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? 10D I think, last time I got sized was when I was 14

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Mustard or Sweet and Sour sauce. Mostly nothing though

25: What is your favorite food? Salmon Sashimi <3 <3 <3

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? TWILIGHT <3 <3 <3

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? My Henry on the 7th November 2023

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? I did scouts when I was like 8 or 9 and met this cute girl named Chloe and we were such good friends at camp. I think she gave me one of her lip glosses or something. I wish I could find her again

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Only if my nips n bits were covered with an emoji or something

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? I don't remember but it definitely would've been to henry. Or today to pippa for work

31: Can you change the oil on a car? Nope but I can fill my tires with air :)

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Only once I think

33: Ever ran out of gas? Never I would die

34: Favorite kind of sandwich? Banana & Honey or Cucumber & Salt <3 <3

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? Bacon, egg & bbq sauce toasted sandwich or poached eggs on toast

36: What is your usual bedtime? I aim for 10:30 but sometimes its midnight

37: Are you lazy? No, I value my well deserved resting time

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? :( I wasn't allowed

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? Ox I think

40: Are you horny? No I am not, that is very rare

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? the fuck are lincoln logs

43: Are you stubborn? Noo my mind can be changed very easily

44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman? Crystal meth santa claus <3

45: Ever watch soap operas? I like the big bang theory sue me

46: Are you afraid of heights? I would say not

47: Do you sing in the car? YEA I DO VERRRRY LOUDLY

48: Do you sing in the shower? On occasion

49: Do you dance in the car? I wiggle

50: Ever used a gun? Nooo

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? When I was 9 years old

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? Some of them.

53: Is Christmas stressful? Not really

54: Ever eat a pierogi? Yess with Henry & Greg in San Francisco <3

55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry or blueberry

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? A cleaner only cuz mum once said they get paid a lot HAHA

57: Do you believe in ghosts? Yea friendly ones only

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? I have a specific scenario I see every time I get it. I'm swinging back on the blue classroom chair in my year 7 classroom. The big windows are to the left and I'm at the front left of my class. I think Mrs Ralph or the other one was teaching. Every time.

59: Take a vitamin daily? No but I would if the gummies weren't so expensive and had enough nutrition in them

60: Wear slippers? no

61: Wear a bath robe? nono makes me look like an idiot

62: What do you wear to bed? The only thing I want to wear to bed for the rest of my life is the avocado toast oodie sleeping shirt that henry got me. It's so fucking ridiculously comfortable you have no idea

63: First concert? Die Antwoord in 2015 but if that doesn't count then apparently mum took me to see Hi-5 when I was little, I don't remember it tho

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart if I'm in America, but in Australia I like Kmart for everything and Target for clothes and socks

65: Nike or Adidas? I don't really give a fuck to be honest but Nike aesthetic is more pleasing to me

66: Cheetos Or Fritos? I've never had fritos but I enjoy flamin hot cheetos

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Neither, those textures are off putting to me. Too gritty

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No is that French?

69: Ever take dance lessons? Yeees I did, at Denise Hollins Dance Company. I started when I was 3 or 4 and did Teddy Bears Picnic. I stopped and didn't start again til I was 8 turning 9. 2006 Jazz (I want Candy & Footloose) (Must've skipped 2007) 2008 - Tap (Here It Goes Again & Jump n Jive) Jazz (Moving thru Time & Get Up and Dance) Acrobats (Jump Shout Boogie) Finale (Move Shake Drop) 2009 - Jazz (Backstreets Back & Hocus Pocus) Intermediate Acrobats (Batman) Finale (Zombie) 2010 - (my last year forever) Advanced Acrobats - Gold :)

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? I picture Henry as a professional DJ <3

71: Can you curl your tongue? YA

72: Ever won a spelling bee? We don't have those here

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Nooop

74: Own any record albums? A thank u next single and peach prc

75: Own a record player? nope

76: Regularly burn incense? Occasionally

77: Ever been in love? yessss henry

78: Who would you like to see in concert? ARIANA GRANDE

79: What was the last concert you saw? Peach PRC <3

80: Hot tea or cold tea? Cold!

81: Tea or coffee? I like the taste of tea better but I like the effects of coffee

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? Don't know what that is

83: Can you swim well? Very well, I won champion girl at my primary school once

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Of course.. I don't think anyone can't do this

85: Are you patient? I try to be yes

86: DJ or band, at a wedding? hmmmmmmm dj

87: Ever won a contest? Not a contest but a wax kit and some free goodies from norris for guessing the correct number hehe

88: Ever have plastic surgery? Nope only lip fillers 4 times. Dissolves way too quick for me tho

89: Which are better black or green olives? omg fuck I love both so much. my fave is marinated green olives

90: Can you knit or crochet? I do not

91: Best room for a fireplace? Living room I guess

92: Do you want to get married? I am :) already. married. hehe

93: If married, how long have you been married? um one month and four days

94: Who was your HS crush? Luke Ramljak <3

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No that doesn't work

96: Do you have kids? I do not

97: Do you want kids? I think so. I'm very undecided still. Blairs so cute and I don't think my baby will be that cute hahaha

98: Whats your favorite color? Pppppink duh

99: Do you miss anyone right now? henry henry and henry even tho its only been 11 days

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landscaping-my-life · 8 months

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8/14/23 - Day 3

Just another day in the life of a child of a sociopathic mother… I am in utter confusion about my relationship with my boyfriend Nate. My parents think this relationship is great. I think Nate’s friends think it is great, and as far as I know our mutual friends think it is great. But for the past two weeks, I had been cursing his name in my journal app, over and over again, every day. I’ve been feeling so sad, thinking we may need to break up. Painful memories of this relationship of 9 months keep coming back stabbing me in the gut, until I just sit there and let them stab me, with a blank feeling in my soul.

I feel so indifferent and helpless. Arguments where he yelled at me. I feel hopeless, and helpless, and powerless. It feels like he has already proven he is in the right in all those arguments, and I have absolutely no power. Zero, zilch, nada.

So, fucking, hopeless, helpless, and powerless.

I feel like I have no ground to stand on, nothing to fight back with, to defend my integrity in the eyes of God. Because I have already been proven wrong in those instances.

Hopeless. Helpless. Powerless.

No. I don’t want to go. I want to take my sword and slay the dragon that is Nate. But, then, what’s the point? Why not just break up with him before slaying him.

And, wow, I feel ashamed about writing all this for my formal post. I just feel like a failure. It’s like I’ve basically skipped today’s blog post and am writing this vomit of consciousness instead. It’s like I’m too distressed this morning to get my shit together, and I’m just using this page to scream.

The voice “can you do anything right” pierces me, as I continue to write.

The thing is, this hurts, this really really hurts, and I feel fear, a lot of fear. I really wish I could divulge the details of those painful arguments, for the sake of this piece of writing, and this blog, but they are just too… scary.

So now, I’m stuck, with a page, and a half left to fill, and I don’t even know what to write. It feels like the memory of the details of those painful moments are knocking on the door of my consciousness, wanting to surface. I just don’t want to let them in. I just don’t. Why exactly do I not want to let them in? I wish I knew. Maybe I do know. Maybe I am needing safety before I can even write them. But where will I get the safety?

I don’t know. I wish I knew, because this sense of powerlessness could eat me alive.

And I know that until I divulge the details and look at them, I won’t be able to move forward. At least that’s what I’ve been taught.

I'm sick of ideas of wrong and right, because I just feel like I’m writing this blog post wrong. I feel like this is a self-indulgent mopey pointless piece that I am simply dressing up with pretentious words. What the heck am I doing right now? I’m only pushing my pencil because I have a little less than a page to fill.

What am I running away from right now that I need to stall like this? Is it Nate I’m running away from? Is that it? And all those painful moments that I don’t dare to write the details of?

I now have nothing to write and once again, I feel like what I’m obsessing over about is pointless, irrational and a waste of time.

Here I am going round and round and round about this, and what’s the point? Just to fill up a page? I am really worried that I am saying nothing at this point. What's the point of pushing a pencil just to keep it going?

Aren’t I supposed to be writing my story? Aren’t I supposed to be doing my homework to landscape my life? This isn’t exactly a crafted or refined piece.

A horrible feeling of “you’re procrastinating again and getting no work done” falls on me.

Now that I near the end of the page, what was the point of this piece? To show how much I’m running from those painful memories with Nate?

I’ll be *FUCKING* *DARNED* I contrived that in the last minute, now that this piece is ended,

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planetflos · 2 years

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✿ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒! | 𝖽𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗃𝗎𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝗏𝖺𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗇 ̥*ೃ♡𓏲

synopsis ⇨ in which i describe what it would be like dating jules vaughn using these cute lil’ headcanons!

pairings ⇨ jules vaughn x fem!eader.

warnings ⇨ sickly sweet, borderline tooth rottening fluff, some swearing, mentions of trauma from past relationships, mentions of nate jacobs—i think that’s about it?

authors notes ⇨ euphoria > anything else on tv! i’m not seeing too much of anything pertaining to jules on here so i decided to put this together at 3 am on a wednesday. the way she has my heart is not okay, i simp hard for her. i had a whole lotta fun writing this and i hope you guys have just as much fun reading ♡.

jules jules jules! my gem, my favorite girl. personally, i feel like dating her would be sticky sweet and super heart warming. she gives off major manic pixie dream girl energy which i loveee!

speaking of love, that’s her goal—that’s her mission. to make you feel loved. her heart is very big and she wears it on her sleeve! i feel like she would leave these cute little sticky notes on your locker down with the sweetest little messages written on them—‘i love you a lot, have an amazing day babe! ☻︎’ ugh. the cutest, i swear.

late night bike rides around the town.

her pulling you in for surprise kisses, wherever whenever.

you two would definitely skip school to go to the beach, skating rink, mall, & etc—sometimes you would have picnics on the beach as well. kat or maddy would join occasionally.

she’s a clingy baby, but never smothering. the fear of you leaving her someone else does cross her mind often, but you always make sure to remind her that there’s no one else and she’s the one for you without a doubt.

thrift store dates…hear me out. jules seems like the kind of gal to love thrifting old clothes, most of her wardrobe is probably thrifted. you two would always come across the cutest finds, causing the other girls in the store to give you dirty looks out of jealousy.

making playlists for each other (spotify > apple music).

going to parties with her and the girls—you guys would dance and drink for a bit until you wander off, checking out the scenery with everyone else. she would get a little nervous but she would remind herself that you wouldn’t do anything stupid or to put yourself in danger—hopefully.

speaking of parties, expect to have a few awkward encounters with either rue or nate. rue would give you two an awkward smile and wave before disappearing into the crowd. after hearing about how jules’s relationship with rue went downhill quickly, you definitely have some thoughts about her. and nate—he would just be staring, trying his best to make you both uncomfy. it doesn’t work, though, because nobody is scared of him. especially not after fezco beat his ass something terrible.

going to museums just to take aesthetic pictures for your instagram theme.

you two being each other’s biggest supporters no matter what.

her admiring your beauty when you’re talking—doing anything honestly. she always tells you that you’re the most beautiful person in the world.

having sleepovers on the weekend! binge watching puella magi madoka magica, her fave anime ever. you absolutely adore the way her face lights up whenever the show is mentioned, and how hard she smiles while talking when she gives you recaps of all the episodes you missed. this girl really loves you omfg.

jules showing you her sketchbook creations, bonding over markers and pencils, and how crayola is better than krazy art, because krazy art simply sucks.

listening to her rant after a terrible, no good, very bad day.

trying out cute makeup trends on tiktok and pintrest. she slays them. every. single time.

cute lil’ study date sessions—finger foods, music playing in the background, books and pencils scattered everywhere, giving each other total heart eyes. ugh, yes.

most importantly, you guys are not just girlfriends, you’re best friends. jules puts a lot of her in you and you put a lot of your trust in her. <3

#jules vaughn #jules vaughn x reader #euphoria #euphoria season 2 #jules vaughn imagines #jules vaughn headcanons #jules vaughn blurbs #hunter schafer

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