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brookheimer · 1 year

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looking at the 'midseason trailer' and seeing roman fighting his siblings, roman shitting on gerri, roman working for fascists, roman walking proudly through ATN like logan did just two days prior... it's not surprising, but it is fucking sad.

logan's death will not free roman. instead, it will reforge the chains he's worn all his life, casting them in iron -- that's what roman deserves for thinking, for the first time in his life, that maybe he wants the chains off. that's what roman deserves for killing his father by not loving him enough, by not loving him correctly or at the right times. logan's death will not free roman at all. if anything, it will imprison him.

(as always, this got very long, so keep reading under the cut!)

this was the worst case scenario for roman. not just logan dying, but the exact way everything played out. he betrayed his siblings, he fired gerri -- for nothing. he could have been on the plane with his father in his last moments -- he refused. his last interaction with his father was leaving logan a voice message that called him a cunt -- the first time roman has ever, ever, questioned or stood up to his father, and also the last. we don't know what killed logan. we probably never will. but god if it won't feel awfully coincidental to roman: the one time he fought back against his father or even showed the slightest hint of doing so, his father died. is it likely that logan heard roman's voice memo and keeled over because he called him a cunt? no. but is it just as possible as anything else? entirely. roman might have killed his dad. roman murdered logan when he could've been on the plane with him holding his hand, if he were a good son. he didn't even tell logan he loved him. not that he needed to, it fucking oozed from his every pore and the desperate nature of that love was one of the reasons logan could never quite stand him -- but that's not the point. roman's one attempt at agency, at setting boundaries, at standing up for himself killed his fucking father.

logan dying would never have been good for roman, at least in his current state, no matter how the actual death came to pass. people often talk about abusive relationships as if the end-all-be-all fixer to abuse is independence, and it's not. independence isn't always enough to heal, especially not when it's forced upon you rather than something you choose. this is especially true for roman, i think. what roman needed was not just to gain his own independence, but to realize that independence and love are not mutually exclusive, that gaining one does not mean losing the other. logan's always hammered in roman's weakness, his wrongness; roman was never someone who deserved to be loved on his own terms. roman's never considered himself to be someone with agency and authority in his relationships -- he's been told over and over again that he isn't a real person, that there's something deeply wrong and unfixable in him, and he believes it. he's never set boundaries with his father or even his siblings because i don't think he really realizes he has the power to do that. he's simply there until people decide they no longer have use for him or want him around, and he'll always come crawling back after a kick because he doesn't realize he's not on a leash -- that he doesn't need to be on a leash. independence has been unreachable all his life, he isn't normal or real enough to be a real normal independent capable person, but if he grovels and shows his use enough, then maybe he can be loved. but his dependence and loyalty is all he's good for. independence means no love, no family, no relationships. and roman desperately wants, needs, those relationships in a way that none of the other characters do (or at least can admit to) -- he wants his father in his life, no matter what; he wants his siblings in his life, no matter what. but independence, being his own person, separating himself from logan's side means he'd lose everything else, everyone else. he's not good for anything anyways. it's not like he has other options.

...until the start of season four. that's why this is all so tragic -- more than anyone else, it seemed like roman was on the road to healing. it seemed like he was finally realizing that independence and love might not be as mutually exclusive as he's been made to think: maybe he could be independent while still having a relationship with his siblings and even his father. maybe he could have his cake and eat it too. he's realized that he's capable, that he has his own worth, and that he can be successful without living under logan's thumb -- and, more importantly, could still text him on his birthday and try to rebuild a relationship, this time outside of business. outside of "that room" in waystar royco. an actual fucking family relationship. that's what escaping the cycle would look like for roman — not complete separation, not a metaphorical killing of his father, but the ability to live alongside him, to have a life outside of him, to love his father without living for him. so simply removing logan from the equation wouldn’t help roman, not when what he needs most is to realize that self-respect is not mutually exclusive with love, that being your own person isn’t a betrayal, that family and love aren’t dependent on how low you can kneel and won’t be whisked away the moment you stand up. and for the first time in his life, it seemed like he was on track to discovering this. maybe he and the siblings could have the hundred, logan could keep going with atn, and in a few years down the line they'd all get together to talk shop and joke around and coexist -- for the first time, he had started to think of himself as enough of a real, okay person to be allowed to coexist with his family, rather than naturally subordinating himself in every interaction.

roman could’ve been his own person, could’ve escaped the cycle, could’ve started a business with his siblings and tried to heal, but now he won’t. he can’t. roman can’t become his own person now, not when his first attempt to do so is exactly what killed logan. it’s his fault. he fucked up and now there’s no dad. he gained his independence, but at what cost? love. that’s the cost. it always has been and always will be. nothing could be more detrimental to roman roy than the exact series of events that occurred in this episode, because just as he started to see a world beyond his father, logan dies -- proving once and for all that the only world beyond logan is one without him in it at all. that’s been roman’s fear all along and why he’s stuck so close to his side: roman loves and loves and loves and is terrified, terrified, of death. of loss. but in a moment of 'weakness,' roman wobbled (he tried to stand up to logan rather than just taking the kicks as he's supposed to, as he always has), and his father paid the ultimate price. there’s no more dad. there’s no reviving him.

…unless, of course, there is. unless roman can undo his error by choosing his father again, and again, and again. becoming logan is the closest roman can get to resurrecting him, after all. and besides, doesn’t he owe it to dad after killing him? after calling him a cunt, choosing not to be with him on that plane he ended up dying on? after forgetting to even say “i love you dad” before the end? roman needs to fix things. needs to make it like dad's still here. needs to make it like he didn't kill his own father by refusing him for the first time in his life. so roman will be the firebreather logan wanted -- he'll do ATN, he'll push for mencken, he'll do whatever it fucking takes to try and make things right. if it's his fault logan's no longer here, then he needs to do everything he possibly can to fulfill his dying wishes, to do what logan would've done, were he alive.

"dad can't die, he's dad." he can't ever die. he's immortal, and his immortality was solidified by the circumstances of his death -- logan will not die. he’ll live on in roman, as roman.

roman will make sure of it.

#to clarify -- i do not think this is roman's endgame. i Hope it is not his endgame. i just think based on the previews and everything we #know about both him and the upcoming episodes... i think this is where his arc is heading for now. and it will be UNBEARABLE to watch #i'm hoping things get better by the end. that there's reconciliation and an ending open enough to allow for a slim possibility of future #healing. but as of right now... i think things are going to get a lot - a LOT - fucking worse before they get better (if they get better..)#k it's 1:30 am i haven't read over this at all so fair warning there. but yeah. told yall i had a lot of thoughts re: what this might do to #roman. hats off to jesse armstrong for creating the literal worst situation imaginable for him. fucking ingenious. i too love putting this #sad little man in situations! but yeah. gonna be watching thru my hands but eating it up while weeping etc etc etc #succession #succession spoilers #roman roy #succession meta #succession s4 #connor's wedding #logan roy #casey shut the fuck up about roman roy #100 #500 #succession speculation

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reixtsu · 4 months

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The Magic Behind the Architect’s Hands

Character: Kaveh x reader (gender not specified)

Genre: Fluff (slightly sensational and tinglingly)

Word Count: 539

Something you really like about Kaveh is his artistic slender hands.

His hands, slender as whispers, wield the brush of an artist's soul. Fingers, long and graceful, danced across the canvas with an elegance that mirrors the strokes of a love letter written in the language of creation. How the pulse of creativity coursed through those large, tender hands, each touch leaving an indelible mark on the tapestry of art and architecture.

It was breathtaking to just stare at them.

What more to hold them?

While engrossed in individual work projects alongside Kaveh one day, weariness settled in as your attention drifted from your own tasks. Your attention wandered, captivated by Kaveh's hands. A mesmerizing sight as one hand delicately wielded a feather brush dipped in ink, rhythmic taps resonating, while the other hand gracefully shaped a corner of his blueprint.

It was like watching an elegant dance. Mesmerizing, majestic.

Then your gaze started to drift, thinking about how soft his hands might be, yet slightly calloused by his architecture duties. Before you knew it, you unconsciously reached your hand out to grasp his.

"Y/n, what are you up to?" Kaveh teased, a playful glint in his crimson eyes, momentarily shifting his focus from work to your intertwined hands.

You scoffed, feigning a look of hurt. “Does it have to be anything bad, my love?” You began to trace the lines on his palm, as if tracing the lines of a page.

“I suppose not,” Kaveh hummed, giving you a warm grin in response.

You played with his fingertips and explored the sides of his hands, committing each and every detail to memory. Gradually, you brought his hands to your lips, delivering a gentle kiss. A faint blush made its way onto your lover’s face as you continued.

“Y-Y/n, you're distracting me from my work,” Kaveh said with such a goofy smile on his face. His eyes even held a flustered glow as you gave him a sly smile.

“Then why don't you take a break, hm?” With a final, tantalizing kiss to his fingertips, you sensually traced your fingers along the velvety texture of his cheeks. Inch by inch, guided by your playful smirk, you drew your face nearer to his, your gaze lingering provocatively on the expanse of his bare chest.

Kaveh's blush bloomed across his face as his eyes looked at everything but you. His breath became heavy, very naughty thought popping into his head.

“Y/nn… Stop your magic and control yourself!” Kaveh whisper-yelled.

“Oh? Then look at me, love,” you positioned his face to face yours, and eventually Kaveh's shy eyes finally met yours. “Ahh, there are the eyes I love seeing the most.”

“Y/n!” Kaveh whined, fighting a childish grin with a frown. Though he failed miserably.

“Your hands, Kaveh, are sculpted from the heavens above. Take care of these beautiful hands of yours not only for the archons above, but for you and me.”

No bard could capture the majesty of Kaveh's celestial gaze, the blush that adorned his countenance, or the rhythmic dance of his heart upon hearing those words. His smile expanded grandly as he leaned forward, bestowing a kiss upon your forehead.

“Thank you, my beloved.”

Author-kun’s: TODAY IS NEUVILLETTE’S BIRTHDAY! Happy birthday to the baby girl. This fanfiction literally has no relation to that…

@reixtsu 12/18/2023. Please do NOT copy, repost, or translate my work

#Genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact x you #Genshin impact x y/n #Kaveh x reader #Kaveh x you #Kaveh x y/n #self insert #Genshin fluff #genshin imagines #genshin impact Kaveh #Kaveh #Kaveh fluff #Kaveh my beloved #his hands are so slim and pretty

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