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#slytherin
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Gryffindor: My moral alignment is chaotic lawful.
Slytherin: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Ravenclaw: They have a strict moral code but no one can figure out what the fuck it is.
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harrypotterhousequotes · 14 hours ago
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SLYTHERIN: "Either you have an enviable memory, or a pitiable life, to know nothing of regret." –David Gaider (Sten: Dragon Age: Origins)
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Hufflepuff: If you threaten Slytherin again, I will punch you right in the nose. It won’t hurt. I’m not strong. But, at the very least, you will be embarrassed that you got punched in the nose by a not strong wizard.
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Ravenclaw: Come on, we have a combined IQ of 380, we should be able to figure out how to get into a stupid building.
(Two girl scouts arrive carrying bags of cookies. One runs her hand down the intercom, pushing all the buttons. The door is buzzed open.)
R&S:
Slytherin: What do you think their combined IQ is?
Ravenclaw: Just grab the door.
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the-boy-who-bottomed · 2 days ago
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Slytherin common room / 8th year au
Draco *slops into the arm chair, drops his head in his hands * : I just did a very grffindork thing
Theo : Lemme guess
Theo : did u save a stary kitten-
Goyle : -and do some humble bragging ?
Blaise : He fucked Harry Potter
*silence*
*cue cinematic music 🎶 *
Theo *exclaims while rolling on the floor* : He just did the most gryffindork thing after Godrick !
Pansy *weeps* : How couldst thee betray us liketh this ?!
Rest of the slytherins : *overly dramatic sounds of disapproval and grief over the music*
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slyther-bi · 2 days ago
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Severus: I’ve only said "I love you" to three people. My mom, Lily, and Harry. And one of those I regret.
Minerva: Which one?
Severus: Harry. It was when I was dying but I ended up surviving the snake bite so now I look like an idiot.
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Ravenclaw: If you drank 42 cups of coffee in a sitting, it would kill you.
Slytherin: So the limit is 41.
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SLYTHERIN: "Every good poet includes a critic; the reverse will not hold." –William Shenstone (On Writing and Books)
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Gryffindor: Are you hurt?
Slytherin: Just my pride.
Gryffindor:
Slytherin: And my body.
Slytherin: My pride and my body.
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Hufflepuff: That is a lovely story, um, are we going to do anything about Ravenclaw? They haven’t slept for days and I’m worried
Slytherin, raven s/o: Oh, we will, you have to take your time with Ravenclaw. Their sibling used to say to me, Slyth, you have to take your time with Ravenclaw.
Hufflepuff: Sounds like a wise Mage.
Slytherin: Oh, not so wise, they were trying to fight a bobcat for some liquorice.
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edgy-slytherin · a day ago
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At what point does something become a problem?
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The amount of OCs I have
Narnia - 10
Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children - 25
Lord of The Rings/The Hobbit - 6
Doctor Who - 4
Anne With An E - 12
Merlin - 2
IT - 3
Pirates of the Caribbean - 21
Wizarding World - 181
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callisto-malfoy · 2 days ago
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Pansy, in the boy's dormitories: Draco, I need your help with potions, could you... why is there a pair of glasses on your bedside table?
Draco: Erm... for reading?
Pansy, sighing: Are you hiding Potter again?
Harry, laying next to Draco, covered with his invisibility cloak: No?
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